Pardon My Take - Ravens Head Coach John Harbaugh

Episode Date: March 4, 2019

We're back from Indy and have activated playoff mode. (3:00-5:52) Combine recap and who made the biggest splash. (5:54-15:31) Who's back of the week including Lacrosse and Rugby.(15:32-31:56) Ravens HC John Harbaugh joins the show to talk about his career as a Head Coach, his brother Jim almost drowning him in the Ocean, what he hopes to see from Lamar Jackson going forward and having "that look" over his brother. (34:22-1:12:08) Segments include Bad Visual Bryce Harper,(1:15:48-1:18:04) PR 101 for Bridge's steroid problems,(1:18:05-1:20:28) Mike Greenberg's Dumb Rules for NHL Overtime (1:20:29-1:22:50) Bad Radio we remember our AAF teams (1:23:53-1:26:18), and Monday Reading "I'm a millennial addicted to rub and tugs”(1:26:19-1:36:08) You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have John Harbaugh, Baltimore Ravens head coach, the finale of the Harbaugh trilogy. We've had Jim Harbaugh on, we've had Tom Kreen on, we have John Harbaugh on today's show, an awesome interview. Awesome, awesome interview.

He actually said it himself at the end, he's like, that was way more fun than I thought. So it's a really fun time, make sure you listen to that. We also have Combine Wrap Up, Who's Back of the Week, and a Monday reading because it is Monday. Before we get to all that, speaking of Monday, Monday night, Monday night football is back because your call football, we're doing it tonight. You got to tune in to your call football, you probably remember it from last year. It's set up where we basically watch football, we get to call the plays, it's an awesome

new league, and we'll be playing tonight proving we're the best coaches at Barstool. We're taking on the guys from Barstool Breakfast who took down Light's camera crew last week to earn the right to face us. Tune in tonight to catch it live on BarstoolSports.com and download the free your call football app right now to play alongside of us. You're probably saying to yourself, well, what is your call football? Well, let me tell you, it's two teams of NFL quality players, led by former Pittsburgh Steelers, teammate Solomon Wilcox and Meryl Hodge.

Call plays for both offenses after every down, you get 10 seconds to choose one of three play options selected by the coach. Majority rules, the play call with the most votes will be run on the field, and you can earn points when the play called is successful, or you lose points if the play called is unsuccessful, lost, you know, yardage, turnover, whatever. So fun, it's an awesome time, there's no kickoffs, no extra points, they always go for two. Best parts of football for you, and you can win cash.

Take your shot at over $70,000 in cash prizes, you can win one million if you can call the perfect game by earning the maximum amount of points for an entire game. More chances to win with quarterly cash prizes, you can jump into the game anytime and still win big, and it's free to play. Just download the app and sign up, then tune in live to experience what it's like to call a real professional football game. There are three more Monday night games left this season for you to show your skills tonight. March 11th and March 18th, so sign up right now, download the app, and come play with

us tonight. We'll be playing on your call Football and BarstoolSports.com. Okay, let's go. Welcome to part of my take presented by our brand new music, video, and song coming out on Friday, you'll probably hear more about it, but it is awesome, awesome song, sunny digital joint, and you tune in on Friday, we'll have that for everyone. Today is Monday, March 4th, and wait, fuck, cut, cut, I forgot to turn on my playoff mode. Hold on.

Okay, boom, playoff mode has been activated, I'm ready to go. You know March 4th is the only day of the year that's a complete sentence. Yeah. Fun fact. I just made that up right now, so nobody's fat checking, but. February 15th. Yeah, Feb 15th. Yeah, and what's the eyes of March?

Eyes of March is the 15th of March. No, what about the never, never always remember. The something of November. We already forgot. That is also a full sentence. They played themselves by naming it that because it's so easy to forget. It was too long. Yes.

Nobody will ever forget this. Yeah. From a non-anonymous, put on a mask and then like killed the king. Always remember. And then. The 5th of September. 5th of September. The 5th of September.

November. Always remember. November. It's the day that Natalie Portman shaved her head. So that is a full sentence as well. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So today is March 4th, we have activated our playoff mode, which means we can throw balls

off the backboard in lackadaisical effort and not try and not make the playoffs. Well, playoff mode for LeBron means that he's not going to win another title. That he is currently in playoff mode. That was bad. We're getting into the fake injury time, boys. It's coming. My favorite, the look that he gave his teammates after he threw the ball off the backboard, like they fucked up.

Yeah. Like who put that there? Which one of you assholes? God damn it. Which one of you good for nothing assholes left that giant backboard there? It's probably actually the Malcolm Gladwell rule of 10,000 hours is basically thrown out the window. Well.

Because LeBron James played more than 10,000 hours of basketball and he still doesn't know the backboard. He hasn't played 10,000 hours of basketball drunk. So this is like it's still new. True. True. This is all new. He's learning it all for the first time.

He has played 10,000 hours of losing basketball in the playoffs though. So he's very used to that. So we're not going to make this all about LeBron. I just, can you actually just put in the Stephen A. Smith clip because it's my favorite clip of all time. The lake is thick. Somebody has to say it. And that will be the end of our LeBron talk.

Let's talk about it. I just want to say as a LeBron stand, like give him a break. Listen, he's, I fully believe that he's going to make the playoffs as an eight seed, which as we've discussed means that he has the easiest path to the finals because he gets to play the Warriors when they still have fresh legs on the Lakers. Yes. So good for him. Okay.

So now put in the Stephen A. Smith clip again. The lake is thick. Somebody has to say it. And we'll move on from LeBron. All right. Let's talk NFL combine. Uh, the big story is coming out of the NFL combine. There's always one guy who wows everyone.

That guy's name is DK Metcalf. You probably watch him on a terrible, terrible Mississippi team this year, but he was part of that team and he is ripped to shreds, runs really fast, can do everything except what a three cone drill. He can't, he can't do the three cone drill. And there was another one that involved a lot of change of direction that he struggled at. The Raider.

Yes. He's a Raider. Basically, Matt Millen and Al Davis's Corpse are going to have like a celebrity death match to see who can come back and draft him. Yeah. I actually think that the Raiders have just, they have a Ouija board set up that they just ask Al what to do at all times. And this will be DK Metcalf.

This was trade your entire trade every pick that you got for Amari Cooper and for Clio Mack and move up and get DK. I want to believe that teams don't take too much away from the combine. Basically what I assume the combine for the smart teams, they watch it. If a guy is unbelievable, they say, Hey, maybe we should go back and look at some of his films, see if we missed something. But we know it's the NFL. So that means there are a ton of dumb, dumb teams that basically say, Oh my God, this

guy just ran what his body fat is what put him, let's draft him first. 1.6% body fat is actually a huge red flag for me. Yeah. Have a burger man. Yeah. What could you possibly be? You're a psycho if you have 1.6% body fat. Yeah.

I don't even know how that works. I mean, I do know this. You know, cold weather teams should draft them. Yeah. He will be freezing cold in the winter. He can't hibernate. Nope. He has to wear long sleeves.

Yeah. He's going to go up north. Not a not a not a cold weather guy. He's off my big board. But yeah, he would he run like a 433. Yeah. Yeah. 433.

I think 433 flat or it might have been 433. It was it was discarded. He's a huge dude. He is massive. Normus. Yeah. He's like David Boston on better steroids. Yeah.

So he he stole the show. We also had the classic every year. We love it because there will be a rumor coming out of one of the meetings or a couple of the meetings. And so the best questions that were asked this year, a quarterback Lonnie Johnson of Kentucky said the Seahawks put him in a staring contest lasting 15 to 16 seconds during his formal interview with them said he won couldn't recall the name of who he went against. See that's a red flag too for me.

Yeah. It's like that's the that's the easiest game of memory ever. You should be able to remember the face of the guy that you stared at for 15 seconds. I'll say the opposite. He just knows that he won. That's all that matters. The end of the day. It's just wins and losses.

Yeah. Who cares who's on who like who cares. Remember Sean McVeigh when he named everyone on who did he named everyone on the Patriots defense or something or and it was like, oh my God, Sean McVeigh knows everyone's names. He's the Bears. Yeah. It was the Bears. Right.

Right. And we're like, oh, he knows. He knows everyone's names. Well, guess what? Knowing names is overrated. Yeah. Just beating people in staring contest. We can rule out that it was Jim Caldwell because you're not you're not walking out of

room to hitting Jim Caldwell and staring contest. Yeah. He is the all-time alpha when it comes to that. And then the other one was happened with the Texas cornerback, I guess it's cornerback season. And then Floyd was asked, do you have both of your testicles? That's the answer. Yes.

It's a great question. It is a great question because it's like, wait, do I? You never know because the NFL is still stuck in the past and these like Victorian sense of modesty where you have to wear underwear when you exercise. Yeah. And so there's no way to know if a guy's got all three pieces down there unless you ask them. I actually, I've gone on from the ridiculous questions and my favorite part of the combine

is people getting mad about the ridiculous questions because that is even more ridiculous. Like the questions, we've been to the combine, we kind of know how it works. These guys have like maybe five, 10 minutes to sit down with someone. You're going to want to ask them something absurd and just see how they react. You're going to know. Right. It's actually more difficult not to ask another man about his testicles. Right.

If you just meet, when was the last time you sat down with another man, like a new guy that you just met and didn't talk to him about his balls within five minutes? Probably never. Yeah. That's a terrific rally joke for you. Ready? Oh, great. Okay.

Hey, you're really excited about the end? I was, could you hear it? I can tell. Yeah. Oh, great. Hey, he, he dropped so many balls. That's why he's a cornerback, not a wide receiver. There we go.

Nice. How many boobs? That was like, that was a 1.75. I think that's a little undersold. I'd say 2.1. That's 1.75. I give myself 2.1. Yeah.

You know, you're just shy of two boobs. Two full boobs. But yeah. So the, the combine, I mean, any other big stories that we, we want to talk about coming out of the combine? That's about it. The other thing that came out was Antonio Brown continues to go on his press tour. Yeah.

So he's given interviews to Jeff Darlington. He's going on the shop with LeBron James. His mustache is. It's ridiculous. Amazing. You can't take him seriously. He looks like C3PO finished on his face. Yeah.

It's absurd. He's been just drinking too much milk, but it's like curdled milk. Yeah. Like it's, it's. Buttermilk. Yeah. Buttermilk. Yeah.

Exactly. It's, it's also Jeff Darlington and Antonio Brown were sitting way too close together. They come out in the pan and it's like, these guys are touching knees. Yeah. It was a huge room too. Which I mean, if you're going to sit that close to somebody, you have to be in like a modest four year or something like that. You can't be in a marble plated living room, just like rubbing knees, just playing footsie.

But he's, he, Antonio Brown has, has cracked the code. If you talk about your impending free agency, that's actually not free agency enough. People will start to believe that you're a free agent. He repeated his sentiment that, that big Ben thinks he's an owner of the team and also a player and he's just going to keep being mad and keep. I think we're at the point now where the Steelers are going to trade him to someone, somewhere he doesn't want to go and just fuck him. Just fuck him over.

Yeah. But then he said that he doesn't have to play. Oh. So he put that one out there. So he's going leave you on bell style. I don't know what he's going to do. What if they just signed him off? What if they just re-signed?

What if they just signed leave you on bell and, and re-signed and like gave Antonio Brown more money or like, fuck it guys. I don't think they're going to do that. I was just all a joke. I don't think they're going to do that because they're treating big Ben like, like he's an old cat. Yeah. Like maybe you have an old family cat or something that's 16 years old.

It's got crusty. It's got that one crusty eye all the time. It has some mistakes next to the litter box. Classic one crusty eye. You know, like it's just a smelly cat that's like in your house all the time and you, you used to love it. That sounds awful. You used to love it, but now you just have to make it happy and comfortable in its own

age because it used to be secure. They give it shots all the time. Yeah. Yeah. You have to put like medicine on its butt. Seeing everywhere. There's a lot of ointments involved with this new cat or this old cat. So I feel like they're just like placating Ben and being like, we have to do whatever

Ben wants because he's been around all the time. Yeah. He shows up in a cone around his head because he's been licking his butt too much in the off season. Yeah. Well, he's probably looking something else. Yeah. Well, he's looking everything.

Yeah. Yeah. He's looking everything downstairs. LeBron, college basketball, we're getting close. We're getting close to March Madness. There's nothing better than the month of March. It is so, so much fun. I'm very excited for it.

It feels like it's starting too late though this year. I was about to say March feels like it came early. Yeah. Oh, no, but no. Check it out. This is March. This is March, but... Shout out to John Rothstein.

Yeah. Who we might have to get on the show and ask him about all of his tweets. About asking if it's March. It's, it's what his Twitter is wild, but uh, no, the, the tournament still doesn't start for another two weeks. It feels like I'm being robbed. I want my, I want my tournament now. Yeah.

I'm hungry now. See, you're saying that, but conference tournament week is, is a very underrated week. Oh yeah. As far as that, like that's, that's where you get your real value for your bets go. Oh, is it sharp? Sharp FD? You don't have any, every time Dick and Harriet, hey, what's, what's your record been the last couple of months?

Uh, I've been eight and I said seven and one on Barclays Sports Supply, which is my last eight. And your last eight. Yeah, that's pretty good. That's pretty good. The Blackhawks overs too, since you told me about that. It's unmushable. Probably lose tonight after I've said this again, but it happened in 20, I think it was

27 minutes of game time. So it wasn't even, it wasn't even half the game that it took to get over the other night. But yes, no, you're right. The conference week is awesome. I'm excited for conference week. It's just, I don't know, I'm ready. Once March gets going, it's like, let's do it. Let's get this fucking thing on.

You know what? I always felt like spring break used to come too early. Yeah. It's like, come on, I'm like a month and a half into my New Year's resolution that I'm half ass keeping up with. Right. They really spring break should be in like early July, just like, let me get my body right.

Yeah. Give me enough time past January 1st where I can actually do some stuff. Yeah. I made it all the way until the end of January before. I made it to my birthday and then year of the core has been canceled. Next year. Next year is going to be big. Year of the core was too problematic.

It was hard. You know what? It was hard. It was too hard. You also see a guy like DK Metcalf. You go to physical therapy at all? I have. Yeah, yeah.

No, no, I'm, I guess I kind of completed year of the core because I played basketball last week. Right. Like my goal was to get back on the basketball court. That happened. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Year of the core.

Complete. But do you feel the same way that when you see a guy like DK with his shirt off and you're like, it's almost not fitspo anymore. It's just like, this guy makes me want to just jump off a bridge. Yes. Right. Like there's, I'm not the same species as this guy. There's never, no matter how much I do, like I could, I could just not eat for the rest

of my life and live in the gym and I still won't look like that. Yeah. No, I agree with you. He's problematic for all the fitspo people out there. He's very problematic. Yeah. What, you got another question about your core Hank? I got it a month.

I did a month. I call him Louis CK Metcalf because he's so problematic. Is that another? No, that was just me. Oh, that was just me. That was just me. I don't need boobs for that one. That was just, that was a PFT classic.

That was a PFT ridge. All right. Hank, you want to do who's back? Oh, sure. Let's do it. I got a few. My first one, I'm surprised we didn't start the show with this one. La Crosse.

There was the highlight, I'm sure everyone saw it, it was probably the highlight of the weekend of La Crosse kid, like juke and someone out waving past the defender and scoring a sick goal. The highlight of the weekend, for sure. I saw more, I saw that highlight in my feed more than baseball, rugby, basketball, any other sport. He didn't have any good lettuce though. Good indication of the sport of the future.

The highlight of my weekend was being able to sleep till like 10 a.m. on Sunday. It's pretty cool. Awesome. Yeah. That's how cool that La Crosse highlight was. And my other who's back in the week is the storm chasers. So I know people haven't fallen along, but they had this actual year idea, but Caleb and Roan, two guys that worked for us, they were on the hunt for a storm court chasing.

They got it in Indiana, but I guess they're 24 hours in. Yeah, they're staying on the road though. Yeah, you have to. So they're going to be at Syracuse tonight. It's too early to abandon it. It sucked because- Like that would have been awful if the very first game that they went to was a storm court. That would have been cool.

I think at that point you just have to like call it off, but the fact that they missed one and then they got one on their second attempt, now they can stay on the road. Before they went, we were basically like either it has to be the first one or the last one. Everything else is going to kind of like, you got to stay out there. Yeah, exactly. So they stormed the court in Indiana, but it was hilarious because there was a lot of like purebred Indiana fans that in the video they had, they were very, very upset at the people storming the court because they didn't think it was like-

Indiana still matters. Yeah. Yeah. But they got it. Like it's beneath them? Yeah, they're like, this is bullshit. Like what are you doing? Like you're not going on the court.

There's a couple titles, okay? They're still a blue blood program as far as they're concerned. If you're unranked and you beat like a top five, top 10 team at home- Listen, I've been, I've gotten deep into the storm court Twitter. It's a wild world because there's also the rules of like people like, well, it's a conference game, unranked, like verse ranked doesn't matter if it's a conference game, they're, you know, historically supposed to be good. College kids are going to have fun.

Yeah. It's actually though, the fun part about storm court. Like if you want to hop on Twitter and just be like, well, Indiana, you can basically neg all of Indiana by being like, well, I thought, I thought you guys still mattered, but obviously not because you're like, you're basically now Northwestern or, you know, like some, you know, like Minnesota, you're, you're, you're, you're storming this court. You guys mean something. Guess not.

So it's like a whole song and dance that goes on in Twitter and then people like, it's college kids. They just want to have fun. Yeah. Well, people get heated about it. I liked that argument though. It's like we were once good, so now we're not allowed to have fun. We've been so good for so long there.

Exactly. It's been 40 years. Like it's, it would be like if the Patriots fans jumped on the field after winning a game in September, because they never do that. Actually, they should, they should storm the field if they win like an early season game against the dolphins. Have you guys ever stormed a field or a court? It is very fun.

I, I don't think that I have, because I respect trespassing laws. Here you go. I did the famous game where what the fuck was his name, the Ohio State linebacker who choked out, uh, Stoco or Jim Sorgi, we ran on the field at Wisconsin was, I think Ohio State was number one. It's fun. It is fun. Like it's a college kid.

They have that. They have the fishermen outfit. So it's funny. Yeah. It is. It was, it's very good video. And there's a video out, right? Yeah.

So make sure you turn it. All right. Do you have anything else? I try young as well. I was back. Okay. Yeah. He got in a little fight with Chris Dunne.

The greatest rivalry that no one cares about is the Atlanta Hawks versus Chicago Bulls right now. He was just staring at him. Yeah. That was the most bullshit ejection I've ever seen. He was just like staring at him. I think the refs were just like, we got to, we got to get this ass out of the game because if we keep him in, there's a chance that he takes it to another four overtime game.

Yes. And nobody wants to see that. Trey Young did pull the awesome move of like talking shit to someone and then pulling, he pulled up from like 40 feet and hit a, hit a three. Like that is, that's as bad ass as it gets. See, that's point for my embrace debate, being wet from three. That pulling up from 40 in someone's eye. It might be better than a, than a dunk in someone's face.

And I disagree. It's just much more interesting too. Cause like him and Luca got traded for each other. So like it wouldn't, if they had just got drafted where they got drafted, like the, the rookie of the year race would be interesting, but the fact that it's like who, who got the better of that trade makes the whole thing. I think Oh yeah. Simmons should still qualify for that.

Who won the trade. Yes. Absolutely. Forever rookie. PFC, what do you got? My who's back of the week. This is going to shock you guys, but USA Rugby is back. Big time.

You got some viral highlight this week. Huge viral highlight. Yeah. Absolutely. So surprise you. It wasn't all over your feed this morning, Hank. We finished in first place. We took home the cup trophy in Las Vegas, beat the entire world.

With a cup trophy. Yeah. Wait. That's the end of the season. The trophy in the cup. No. Well, that's what they call it because the other trophy is for like, no, it's the cup trophy.

It's the cup or the cup trophy. We won the cup, which is also a trophy. What's it called? It's called the, the cup trophy. It's called the cup. Cup trophy. So this is pretty simple stuff. We won the entire tournament and we beat New Zealand in the semifinals, so now we're

in first place in the world by a large margin. We're still the season's over. The season's not over, but we won the cup trophy. We're ranked number one in the world. So you raise the cup even though the season's not over. Yeah. You drink out of the cup even though, so it's, we have another. What do you win if you win the whole season?

Well, we have another tournament next weekend in Vancouver. What if you win the whole season? What do you win? Listen, we take the same. We get the same cup? We get the same cup back? One weekend at a time in the USA Rugby community. You get the same cup back?

No. The cup travels. You can touch it. Believe me. So we finished second place for four tournaments in a row. Oh, I remember. And now we won. Yeah.

We finished streak of all time. Yeah. We finished first this time. So we are first right now. We are first in the world by a large margin because New Zealand, they finished fourth this week. I'm going to say something nice about Rugby. Ready?

Mm-hmm. The games go fast. Yes. Fast. Literally sat down to watch it. Fast to sport on two feet. That's what everyone says. We got in the office at BFT.

It's like we're in the cup trophy final. And the cup final. Yeah. And you sat down to watch it. And I heard you cheering. And then like 10 minutes later you got up and you're like, we won. I was like, what? Okay.

Cool. It's a fast game. Rick Petito should get back into coaching with it. You got seven guys on each team. So it's a big field. So there's a lot of scoring. And the game has to go faster or else it would just be like peer exhaustion by the end of it.

I'm thrilled for us. I would say at this point if the US took our best rugby players from a young age and taught them football, we would be the best football country in the world. That's how good our rugby team is. Well, yeah. We'd finally win a group. No, we've won one great cup actually. Baltimore won that great cup.

Yeah. That was amazing. They really stick into the Canadians when you say that because they still haven't won a Super Bowl. Yeah. So that's my only who's back of the week. That's it? That's it.

Because that's all that matters. All that matters. Shout out USA Rugby. Love it. Love it. All right. My who's back. I got two.

Steve Smith's shit talking is back. So he said that he's going to stay on TV because he's actually good at it as a nice shot at Jason Whitton. I fucking love it. I still. Love it. I. The more we thought about it, like the more I think about it, Jason Whitton just got

fired. I'm just going to say, like, let's just call it what it is. Jason Whitton, you got fired. If he was good at his job, he would not have gone back. How do you figure that big cat? I figure it because he, well, first of all, the contract is very suspicious because I think he's getting paid three and a half million dollars from the Cowboys, but five million with incentives that he's never going to reach.

And that is specifically done because if he, if it was announced he was getting paid three and a half million dollars, it would be a pay cut from what he's getting at ESPN. And I think ESPN was essentially like, dude, we're not saying you're fired, but you're fired and then Jason Whitton, Whitton needed like a translator because he obviously can't understand. 001110. Like implications. 001110.

Right. Yeah. I agree. The one thing that nobody's talking about with us, Jason Whitton spent an entire year meeting with coaches before games, getting their game plans, finding out strengths and weaknesses in these production meetings. And now he's going back to the Cowboys where he's got all this inside info. Do you think he retained any of it?

Oh yeah, dude. He's got like eight or nine gigs of storage just in his spinal column alone. That's actually a good point. Jason Whitton is tampering. Yeah. Yeah. Jason Whitton, it's very, very problematic with the knowledge that he has. I agree.

I think it's a disgrace. That's a great point. We need to get that going. We need to take away a Cowboys draft back. Okay, done. Get Jerry Jones. You see Jerry Jones with the AAF hat? Yes.

Yeah. What was he doing? Shadow Commissioner. He's just like, he's just taking shots at everyone. Uh-huh. Yeah, it must be. I did see Jerry Jones at the bar last weekend in Indy. Yeah.

And it looks great. Was it a ghost-like? No, it looks great. Was he walking through people? He and his son were just prowling around. Yeah. He was looking for ladies. I mean, it is the weirdest thing in the world because how the Combine works is like Steven

Jones and Jerry Jones show up to a bar and Steven Jones then tries to pick up chicks for his dad. It was actually bizarre and it made me not want to become a billionaire watching Jerry Jones. Here's what I didn't like. I saw Jerry Jones waiting at the bar to get the bartender's attention. Stars are just like us. Just like us.

I was like, fuck it. I don't want to be rich anymore. If I can't get to a level of wealth where I don't have to wait for a drink, then fuck it. What's the point? People of means, you've been canceled. Sorry. Done.

I agree with that. I also like, I would just build bars that were I could like sit at. I basically just sit at home. Yeah. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, I would never have that problem for a billionaire because I'd never go to a bar. Or you would just like have a really nice scooter. I know you're into scoot life and you have a scooter that has a bar on the front of it.

So it's just with you wherever you go. And it's a woman is actually like she, it's very dangerous, but she has to be standing behind the bar while I drive the scooter and just running into people. Yeah. My other who's back is medium rare plus. So we went to three different steak restaurants in a row or I went to three different PFC was with me for two of them, Hank was with us for one, asked the waiter, each of them is medium rare plus a real thing.

He said, absolutely. Yeah. But you're forgetting the one, the guy at the second restaurant kind of laughed. He was like, yeah, if you want to, No, actually, yeah, because you asked and he was like, of course it is. No, he was like, yeah. This is an absurd question. He was like, yeah, you're right.

The plus means nice. It means I spit on it. Steak restaurants have medium rare plus. So it's back feels back. No. No, never order medium. Hank didn't get the shrimp cocktail. It's not going to tell on him.

Well, because it was going to hurt his tum tum too hot. It's too hot. It's too hot. It's too hot. It's famous shrimp cocktail on my way out. I said my flight got delayed, stopped at the airport bar to get one of the shrimp cocktails. Another one. Okay.

So question. I ate there too. Didn't get the shrimp cocktail again. So Indianapolis quick review. We did the review of the airport prime 47 versus St. Elmo's who you got. I have prime 47. I thought St. Elmo's is you go for the shrimp cocktail, but after that the menu doesn't have a lot to offer.

I agree. I agree. My steak was better at prime 47. Yes. And the bread was better, which is pretty much how I rank all restaurants is how hot the bread is. Yeah. Bring it out.

No, if they, if you're at a nice restaurant and they bring out cold bread. Yeah. What am I even doing here? Oh, you know, it's worse than cold bread. Cold butter. Fuck cold butter. And you have to like, it like doesn't spread. It's the worst.

Why would you do that? I want, I want just basically just a bowl of movie popcorn butter. Go off game. Yes. Dip in with the bread. Yes. Speak your truth. Don't do that.

Don't do that shit. I hate it. Don't get big cat fired up about butter. Tear up the bread. Yeah. And I was like, yeah. No, it'll ruin your night. Right.

The bread, like listen, bread's very important part of the meal. And you know what? If you get the ice cold butter is pretty much an ice cube. I'm not even convinced that it melts when it's in your stomach. Correct. You just end up pooping out a round ball of butter later. Yeah. It's like corn.

Yeah. You're just walking around with butter. Don't get big cat going on butter. Don't get me going on that. Big dairy. You've made a very powerful enemy. Just make sure the, just leave it room temperature. That's all I ask.

I'm not asking for it to be hot. In most European countries, they leave all the butter out. Perfect. Yeah. Love it. Eggs too. Yeah. Love it.

Also great. It's just cracking a room temperature egg into your mouth. All right. Well, butter. If you're going to keep it warm, why wouldn't you leave? That's its natural habitat. Right. It also just sits out in like the, in their nest and house for a while.

Yeah. So like it's not going to go bad. Right. We refrigerate weird things. We don't catch up. Mmm. Yeah. You don't need to refrigerate it.

I think ketchup tastes better when it's refrigerated. Yeah. But you don't need to. That's kind of one of those weird things. You don't have to. Yeah. Right. But I elect you.

But we do. Manage either. You don't get extra mile. Manage you do not have to refrigerate ever. That's true. Tuna fish and mayonnaise. You don't have to refrigerate tuna fish? No.

Like once you open it, tuna fish and mayo, leave it out for three days. Way better. It is. You get the nice little seasoning of the room on it. It's like when you leave, when you leave the glass of water out and you can tell what room it was in. The dust. Like the, the subway, you know how subway the smell, the fresh bread smell is actually

human skin. You get a little bit of that human skin on your tuna fish and mayo and it's real good. I'm just going to pretend I know what big cats talking about the human skin cause it sounds good. You've never seen that article that like apparently the, the, you know the subway, the fresh smell, like when you walk in, you smell the fresh bread. Yeah. There's, there was an article like a couple years ago that like actually there's human

skin in that smell. That's the worst thing they've ever done in terms of advertising. Damn. No. No, no, no. Google it. You are mistaking. There was an article that came out.

That was like when you're on the subway. No. That like 90% of the air is human skin. No. I want to believe what big cats say. And you're mistaking that. No. The restaurant subway.

Thank you. Smelling like skin. I know what you're talking about. I don't believe what big cats said cause it's much better. No, hold on. I'm going to look it up because you can't do that to me. Well, big cats looking it up. If we're talking about eating humans, which, which NFL player at the combine do you think

would be the most delicious to eat? Like if we were candles. When you breathe on the hot weather. When you breathe on the hot weather. Because DK MedCap. Because DK MedCap. I feel like would be bad. You think it would be bad.

The DK MedCap would not be good. No, not enough marbling. No. Just all lean. Very chewy. Yes. Fresh bread, subway fresh bread, skin smell. I mean go with Don Terry Poe. I feel like he'd be a good mix of like quick twitch

But also some of the nice like a ribbon of fat. So it says it does say that there's a a conspiracy Oh No, wait, that's blowing their smell and look at the article. I just said so what is it basically Hanks propping? He's passing on propaganda from Taco Bell. You're like nobody eat at Subway. Oh, did you see by the way that guy skin? Did you did you guys see by the way that the the guy who like got stranded for three days and lived off of Off of Taco Bell fire sauce. Yes. That's pretty cool. Hank. Yeah Those McDonald's are Burger King. They'd be dead. Mm-hmm. Not Chick-fil-A though I'm gonna come back stronger if that was all Chick-fil-A. I didn't make this article. I

Look at the article that I just sent you and tell me that's not what you were thinking about Subway study shows I Study conducted by the University of Colorado 2008 to determine the composition and diversity of the gross shit you breathe on the subway What was revealed that in addition to dirt and other organic matter? 15% of the material analyzed was human skin. I'm so 15% that's a lie. That's the that's the bread smell So oh here it is subway yoga mat chemical also out of bread

Chemical also found in yoga mats will be completely fake. Oh, see I was kind of right about a little of it What happened here is that big cat? I combined six stories into one big cat saw a headline that said subway smell is mostly human skin And he thought it was the sandwich shop instead of the underground train. No took people back Listen to me the subway smell. They had yoga mat plastic in there. Yeah, yeah, keep passing on pink slime It's the pink slime that you smell. I'm telling you It's pretty obvious what happened. Well, no, I know it's been obvious for a while. Yeah. Yeah No, I know that I know I've combined about 10 articles into one, but I'm swear to God. There was human skin at Subway Swear to God

I'm gonna find it right now. Yeah, that was Jared should have just they should have gone with that angle that would have been better publicity to be like, hey You know that smell it's just human skin. Please forget about Jared. Okay. Let's get to John Harbaugh Before we do that a quick word from our sponsors cash app It's time to talk about the cash card from the cash app number one finance app in the app store for a reason the cash card is the Most powerful debit card in the world and the only debit card with boosts a money-saving feature You can't get anywhere else because cash app invented it just select a boost in your cash app Swipe the cash card and save 10% or more at Whole Foods Shake Shack Chipotle Taco Bell Chick-fil-A Domino's and coffee shops

If you want to go organic without paying for it save 10% on every bag of groceries with the Whole Foods boost It's not hard to spend $50 at Whole Foods But it's easy to save $5 if you do the coffee shop boost takes a dollar off at any coffee shop including Duncan and Starbucks by 200 cups a year save $200 It's that simple become a part of the greatest rewards program ever and get boosted download cash app from the app store or Google Play and Order the cash card today. You're not an award-winning listener unless you do it just download it now We were talking about it being March. Well, guess what March means? It means it's time for PFT's favorite restaurant in the entire world We're talking about Buffalo Wild Wings. It's primetime college basketball season and March Madness is on the horizon

You have the huge games night in and night out So don't be lazy and miss any of the action head down to beat ups for all the big games It's Monday and no matter what the sports schedule is tonight. It has to be better than the bachelor That's a fact tomorrow We have Duke first wake for us with no Zion can Duke get back on track and take down a bunch of nerds No matter what your game is or who you're playing the perfect place to watch is Buffalo Wild Wings By the way, Saturday slate get to a Buffalo Wild Wings I think it's I think it's Duke UNC and followed directly by Michigan Michigan State

So get to a Buffalo Wild Wings. Don't be lame stay at home Don't be lame and stay at home get down to beat ups and catch all the action It's crunch time in the college basketball world. So don't make the mistake of missing anything get to your nearest Buffalo Wild Wings today I promise it's way better than your living room. And if you go to Buffalo Wild Wings in March, there's like a 94% chance you'll see PFT there. That's actually a fact. That's true. It doesn't matter which one you're in Anyone, you know, it's a fun fact about Buffalo Wild Wings. I used to be banned from one. Well, really? Yeah, I'm for on my 21st birthday. I went to one yada yada. Yada. I was banned for 15 years But now you're back and it's your favorite in the world. So go head down to Buffalo Wild Wings

Get your beer get your wings get your basketball on Okay, let's get to our interview with coach John Harbaugh Okay, we now welcome on very special guest He is the head coach of the Baltimore Raven Super Bowl champion and more importantly The final token that we needed to collect to become a part of the Harbaugh family. It is John Harbaugh It's great to have you on but you know that you have to go up against your brother-in-law and your brother and your dad for guests on this show I know I'm it's it's high. It's big company, but I'm pretty impressed. You guys have now been ordained as part of the family And what does that mean? You know certain obligations?

I think we get to come over for Thanksgiving and have Jim kick her ass Yeah, whatever it is. Yeah, you will kick your ass. You will not you will leave a shell of the man that you were I mentioned into the ring. Yes. Actually, let me let me start with that It's a little bit of a easy question for you watch. You know, it might be a hard question. Do you ever think about? Jim, you know, obviously always talks about how he drank milk and willed himself the NFL What happened to you? I do. I mean, it's right because I scoffed at that like back in fourth and fifth grade I scoffed I made fun of him. I laughed at him. His belly was like bloated this far out, you know after lunch and he fell asleep, you know But look at me six three and a half, you know

I mean, how many people come up to me here at the combine like dude, I thought you were a lot taller than that, right? You know, it's hurtful and it's it's like a test case scenario you if you you were the guy didn't drink the milk Exactly right. Exactly right. That's what happened. So when did you top at it? Where do you 5'11? I'm a little me. I'm close to six feet six feet. I was six feet for a while Then it kind of shrunk a little bit. Is that how it happens when you get older? So you shrink like you do get shorter I can't afford to lose any inches. I'm not looking forward to getting older So we were talking actually before you came in and sat down like it's interesting the path that you took to become a head coach Because you're a special teams guy, right?

You coach special teams for a while and you don't see too many special teams coaches get those Opportunities anymore like why do you think that is? Are you not involved for the most part as a special teams coach and like the offense and defense? Are you just like out in your own little meeting saying okay kick the ball far like why doesn't that happen now? Usually the special teams guys are the guys that nobody wants to be around nobody wants to hang with they kind of shove You out there to your pasture over there and kind of get rid of the guy and put him off to the side You know, I like the way he said it though. It's like special teams coach right special teams Well, you get named every time there's a You know Dave Tobe or someone who's who's like hey, this guy could be a head coach like well John Harbaugh

He was a special teams coach, right? You live on you know what it is It's it's guilt by association you hang out too many kickers and you sort of think that you are one Yeah, well, I mean really the truth of it is I think these guys have been overlooked. I mean, there's been so many great coaches You can go back. I mean Pete Rodriguez Frank, yes Hey dick for mills a special teams coach Mike dick was a special teams coach Balbala check. He's a pretty good coach You know, that's how he got his start, you know, and he got the defense and all that But special teams coaches really the arguments pretty strong to deal with the whole team they deal with all the situations in the game They're kind of it's kind of like a head coaching. It's a mini head coaching job

You know, it's kind of crazy. These guys haven't gotten more opportunities. I'm always banging the drum for him But usually the way it works out as you coach offense you coach defense I mean secondary or running backs or tight ends and tackles or whatever I coached over the years Then they say who wants to do the punt team and you're the guy crazy enough to say I'll do it You know, right do the kickoff team Okay, I'll do it. Nobody else wants to do it and the next thing, you know, you're a special teams coach But you know guys got a plan. Yeah, and it worked out pretty well for me Do you think the kickoff is gonna be gone in a few years? No way. No way. No, no, it's football

You're right. We got to keep the foot in football. That's a good point Well, the interesting thing is you have the AF and you know, they don't do a kickoff So everyone's talking about the you know, could the NFL ever get here and then you see a guy like Julian Edelman Who wins Super Bowl MVP and he does a speech afterwards like I got my start in this league because of special teams Yeah, all the great players. I mean, there are a few guys that will course quarterbacks But even my brother covered kicks. He was a kickoff cover guy's rookie year But the guys become really good linebackers and really good really good tight ends and running backs They start out there the football players first. You got to be able to tackle. You got to be able to block the league's doing a great job

But we'll say this I don't always compliment them on stuff like this But they're doing a great job of cleaning up the plays that really do cause injuries They're trying to make the helmets better. They're trying to make the shoes better They're trying to do everything they can to keep those kind of injuries out of there, but it's a space game It's an exciting part of the game, you know people some people love soccer some people don't love soccer But the thing about soccer that's kind of exciting it gets out in space, you know, there's movement There's athleticism to it. Same thing in basketball fast-break basketball. That's what that's what special teams is I mean that kid goes in the air and you got a great return about quarter well Parisians back to return that kick

You know, if you're a football fan, you're on the edge of your seat But then you've got to admire the guys that are willing to run down there You know 50 yards down the field and get off a block and make a tackle and and what it takes to do that So I mean if you hit I mean we can start chipping away at football, you know, we could say well We don't like this. We don't like that pretty soon. You know what you're gonna? You're gonna have flag football Yeah, no football right and the people and I'll be honest the people that are hitting football real hard Other people that really would like to see football not as part of what we do, right? Okay, and that's that needs to be kind of fought against that's like Hank our producer our producer wants lacrosse to be the biggest sport

I like love lacrosse so good sport lacrosse, but we know what? How many concussions in lacrosse? Come on now Let's talk about a lot probably a lot. There's Ricky Dink helmets that they use. Yeah, volleyball soccer soccer like leads the way in Concussions, yeah, so we so we've been talking a lot about, you know The how kind of the kickoff is being phased out a little bit Especially like the new rules that they put in place really affected the onside kick Yeah portion of the game so I guess a guy with a special teams background that's got to be kind of frustrating It's like here's this play that used to be successful, you know 10 12 percent of time now It's down to like four or five percent of the time

Are there any ways like moving forward that you can see that that it's going to be innovated a little bit to make it more Successful you're right about that. I mean that's kind of one of the big bombers I mean, you know, how you gonna get the ball back when you need the ball back How are you gonna gain a possession and the fact that the onside kick is pretty much dead with the new rules? I do think they got to come up with something, you know, give a team a chance Maybe you got to convert a fourth and 15 or something or fourth and 12 or something You know just to get the ball back and regain possession They should have a chance probably to do that because there's excitement

I mean if I'm down by two scores two and a half scores right with four minutes left You're pretty much done right the game's over if you can't if you have no chance for an onside kick We should go for two when you score the first touchdown. We learned that yes, you definitely are you are you a big? Analytics guy with that when the if you're down 14 late go for two the first time, right? That's like a no-brainer, but as soon as you do that, you don't get it You know, you're gonna get blasted by media guys like you guys not not us because we mocked and made fun of well Actually, so let me ask you this so I we always have the theory that guys Coaches in the NFL don't take those risks if they aren't secure with their job

Was there a point in your career where you're like I can now start taking more risks on the field because I know that you know My owner isn't gonna freak out and the media isn't gonna freak out because my track record is proven You know, it'd be hard to sit here and say like no But I mean really you got to find a way to like do the job, you know if you're trying to keep the job That's the serious way to not have the job pretty quick So I think it's better to be bold to take chances and we tried the first ever fake feel going a Super Bowl Yeah, that's a pretty crazy things, you know all the way up So I think you guys I think I would rather have the reputation as someone that's willing to go for it

Yeah, if you're the scared guy, you can't you can't be coaching What was the adrenaline like when you called the first fake field goal in Super Bowl? Well, it's kind of bummed because it was like nine yards and we had it set up for five But I was like just screw it. We're doing it, you know, we got to try this. Yeah, did you ever think about using your camera yard short? Yeah, you know, do you think about using your kicker as a lead blocker like Nick Saban did? No, I never know that was an interesting strategy. Really, when did he do that in the national championship? Yeah, that was he was out of fake field going he led the way through. Yeah, it was like Was it nine yards or ten yards to get

It was great. You should actually check that out. I have a new season. That's how bad it is. Justin Tucker running like through the middle of the line as a fullback just knocking somebody's ass off. Yeah, speaking of that Super Bowl Do you ever do you ever look at your brother like just catch him and like he knows that you know? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, here's the thing about like like like over the years. I mean, well, you know how it is You guys got brothers over the years like he I mean there were times when I when I kicked his butt pretty good And there were plenty of times probably more than he kicked my butt because he's kind of a big guy Especially when it got to the point where he got a little lower

So we were 25 and he was the head coach of the or he was the quarterback for the Bears guys first big contract I paid and took us on a vacation down to Amelia Island, you know, it was great. It was nice your 4th of July Paid for everything and got us out on the beach one day. I'm really being grateful. I'm thinking, you know what this He's kind of turned the corner here a little bit. This is pretty cool And we get out there we're building a sandcastle with the kids and next thing you know He starts like, you know, we kind of work our way out into the water's waves are coming big waves are coming And we're you know wrestling he throws a single leg into my right leg as hard as he can So I sprawl full sprawl cross-face right to his nose as hard as I can

You're just smashing right in the face or he's strong He takes the thing picks me up and takes me to the bottom of the bottom of the deal like Sam I see the sand come up around it's dark salt water and all the air bubbles came out And I'm like, okay, cool. Yeah, I get it. Yeah, all right But then he kind of keeps holding me down there and the waves are coming holds me down holds me down holds me down All right, I mean, I don't know if it was like a minute, but it seemed like 20 minutes I'm thinking this is gonna be it. He snapped, you know, he's gone I've lost him and he's he gonna be in jail for the rest of his life, but it's not gonna help me brother

I'm done, you know, so he let me up finally and once I got my breath. He kind of gave me just what you just did Right gave me the old, you know, like, all right, bro. I know, you know, we know where it stands, right? Yeah, and I had to live with that like for the next 23 years Okay, until the Super Bowl and now and now every now and then he gives you that look when you just you ever watch a show bloodline You just ascribed a scene from blood no spoilers. Yeah, that's that's very Brothers actually kills the other brother. Yeah. Oh, really. Well, does it really have to come to that? Yeah, well, Jim I mean Jim has told us when we interviewed him the human body craves contact

So I can just imagine like if you just brush up against him. He's like, let's wrestle. Yeah Well, he took he took he took he was he was he was going over top of Allison when she was five years old Pull rebounds away and put back stuff to win the family basketball game on Memorial Day But now you have it now you have that look. Yeah He's gonna snap one day Yeah, he hadn't given up on that though, he's planning on revenge or something, you know There's a game somewhere along the way. He's planning on winning, right? Yeah. Do you miss coaching against him? Yeah, yeah, I do. I miss him being in the NFL

Yeah, cuz you know you just had that say he watching the same tape and we would talk about stuff But you know like you always tell it got to the point where he like he was trying to get a little more than he was trying to give Mm-hmm. You know you kind of knew where that was is like, you know, I know you're holding something back, buddy Yeah, right, so I'm not answering your question, right, right When we talked to him we asked him when the last time he was in a fight And we were thinking he would say like 25 years ago when I tried to drown my brother something like that And he was what do you say like six years ago? Fast-casual restaurant

I had to put a guy on his back. Yeah, so we have to ask you the same question was last time you were in a fight about 25 years ago Famous fight though Jim Kelly fight. Yes, good buddies now, but you know that can never be forgotten Yes, don't let that be stricken from the right. Yes, I just remember why I brought up the whole special teams thing It wasn't actually because I was interested in the answer is because I have a suggestion for you for the on-sides kick If you want to make it a higher percentage of recovering it do more drop kicks So in rugby if you watch a kickoff in rugby They sky it you can sky a football you can sky rugby ball and it's essentially the same rule has to go 10 meters Your team can recover or knock it back the offense recovers it probably like 25 30% of the time give it a look

Here's the thing it's like I'm the good thing is no I don't think any of the head coaches really listen to you guys So, yeah, yeah, that's the good thing. That's true I mean, I don't know Yes Here's the thing it's like here's the crazy thing like what you just mentioned like we actually just have that The thing is I don't need these guys to know that you know, but okay It's kind of in the playbook Well now this was smart because even if you don't have it people will not

But they won't know what it really is Right, right perfect like that. That's really great. That's a great idea. Yeah, thank you I'll take all the credit when it's successful. Yeah, absolutely and none of the blame So talking about your coaching career, we were like doing some prep before Andy Reed and his coaching tree He has one of the most impressive coaching trees in the NFL when he looked like across the NFL What what is it about him that like gives, you know guys a chance and helps foster that? I think it's his press conferences, you know, he's pretty dynamic of the press conferences there I don't know. I just think he's really great, you know, it's just with him for the last three days

We got all the meeting meetings and stuff like that and he's still going strong You know, he's just he's just cuz how man, you know, it is he's how normally is like a normal guy, you know Yeah, he's normal just being more normal makes him great, I guess Yeah, but it is crazy when you look at it like the head coaches in the league the guys without chances You know, yeah, like ten guys. He had the coach of the year Matt Nagy, you know with the Bears You know, so it's it's impressive that he's able to have this many guys You know be under him and then and then come out and flourish in the NFL Well, there's first staff there. I mean we had guys like Pat Schirmer was on that staff Brad Schiller was on that staff

It was just guy after guy off the top of my head. I guess I could sit and really think about everybody Yeah, I think we have Brahma Vera Steve Spagnola. We had like five or six head coaches on that Right Andy strikes me as a guy and I've always heard about him that he he takes input from everyone around him So he doesn't have an ego. Yeah, he you know, if somebody has a good idea It's like an open-door policy like he'll implement anything as long as it works Yeah, how do you think he's a guy like him's able to balance that with also at the end of the day You're the dude. You're the guy in charge of everything So you have to you know, he has to tell people what to do even if he's you know using their ideas constructively

How do you think he's able to balance that? Yeah, he does he does it well like he's easy. He can say no, you know He can he can get after you like he's got the mustache twitch thing like when he gets mad He doesn't really chew you out, but his mustache starts twitching real fast. Mm-hmm, and you're like, it's like, okay I'm gonna back off right now. So he's got these got the teeth. You know, he can tell the fangs But yeah, he cats sticking up the hair on their back. Yeah, stay away. He's a big guy Yeah, he's a big dude. So you gotta be careful Does how many steaks is he eating in front of you before because we heard a story that he ordered two once at one dinner

Yeah, I can't comment on that. Okay, but he likes the yeah, it's no question I mean, that's a that's just an alpha move. Yeah, it's like everyone orders one and he's orders two Do you're the same time or back or back to back? I think same time. Yeah, you gotta go Yeah, bring this one out 15 minutes later that kind of deal. So you Andy Reed has a coaching tree Wait, I have one more question about Andy Reed. Okay. That's okay. Have you ever seen him not wearing shorts like a practice? Seems like a big shorts guy to me. Yeah, even yeah, he is big shorts guy. He's cold. He never gets cold He's a guy done get cold. I'm like freezing out there. Like I'm shiver. I'm so cold. He never gets cold never gets cold Yeah, offices are real cold. Yeah. Yeah, I like that. I like that. Um, so he so he has a coaching tree

You actually have four was it four coordinators that have gone on to be head coaches. Yeah, yeah Yeah, which is the most in the NFL Well, I get criticized all the time for having always offensive coordinators. It's like good, you know, it did pretty good Right, right. So how does that? How does the process work when you have a guy who? Have a guy So but how does the process work when you have a guy and you know that like he might be destined to be a head coach is that Do you give him the leeway to be like, hey, I want you to go out there You hide if he's successful you want to keep him. You want to just hide him like right away

Don't let him talk to the media, right? I've always wanted a room. Yeah. Yeah. No, you want to be head coaches They're gonna get they're gonna they're gonna get found anyway I mean one thing about the NFL as soon as you do something as soon as you have some success You're the hot guy. Everybody wants to give you a chance So and we had defense Chuck Pagano's another guy that had a chance to be head coach So it's like, you know what if I think I want guys to get a chance even coordinators A lot of coaches hold their guys back from being coordinators like they won't they say and I understand it like a club will say We give you a long contract then, you know, we want you here. We're giving you security

Then, you know, we have you kind of you know, right and I don't think I don't think when you do that When you start denying people an opportunity to be coordinators. I don't think you have real good morale I can't imagine a guy be real happy, right, you know and try to do the best you can do So the guy's a chance to go be a coordinator for the most part unless you have plans to make him your coordinator real soon I think you should give him a chance to do that Yeah So speaking of like the offensive side of the ball Was it on purpose that you decided to like go back to like 1950s football today this year? Yeah

Yeah, it was thinking about like changing some of the big league won't let us change the helmets. Yeah, no face mask Never pass it. What no in a serious way like Lamar Jackson that had a you know, very good rookie year But there's clearly more there. What does success look like for him next year like in terms of throwing the ball? Yeah, it does. I mean you got it. You know, I'd say it's you know 60 at least minimum 60% completion rate, you know, because we're gonna be throwing the ball downfield So it's not gonna be a dink and dunk offense. He can make short throws and he has to make you know You got to complete those at like 85% You know, so he's got to do that just like every other quarterback. I know he can do it

But the thing about that is it's like, okay, we can dwell on that, you know, and we'll see I mean you never know with any of These guys, I mean tell me about all the other rookie quarterbacks I mean who's standing up pounding the table saying they're gonna be great except for Mayfield because they've already seen it Yeah, yeah, I like you got a good story about him bakers a friend too so bakers awesome You know, so we just got it You guys got to you know, we got to tackle him in the pocket But Josh who comes on our sideline and he's running over there and and he comes get smashed into the sideline and and like You know, our guys nobody hit him nobody did but you know, the guys aren't exactly getting out of the way

So he kind of ran into one of our guys Matt Junem So he gets up and calls calls Matt like it's right in his face, you know like pops right up, you know The rookie is like his first start last year and he gets right in his face This is the opening game and calls him a name, you know that you shouldn't call a grown man Yeah, and all of a sudden our bench was like, you know on top of it You know like, you know, we're we're cool with you until you said that, you know, you know And so I just said did you gotta get out of here right now, you know, but he respected him, you know He was not afraid right he came flying into that sideline. He's big guy, too. Yeah, he's not back off

You know, I think he's got I think he's got a little fire. Yeah, I like that So back to Lamar real quick. So he Obviously had some success, right? Right. He's pretty good as rookie year doing a lot of things Now you have to expect him to step into you know, being able to expand the playbook a little bit How much of that is going to be you? Kind of working with his skill set and how much of it is going to be you expecting him to improve certain mechanics or things To fit your existing playbook. That's a great question. I think you know what probably you know the percentage I mean, it's gotta be like 50 50

I mean to me it's on us as coaches like our job is to make sure that we do everything we can to create this offense And I would say that well the league has never seen before since like 1950. So like we have to you know What comes around goes around, you know, it's it's not evolution. It's revolution. So there's nothing new Right, right cat week. That's well. It's Ecclesiastes to you know, it's been around for a while, too Oh, yeah, it's a pretty good idea But but the other part of it's him too and you know the thing I like about the Mars He's a motivated guy, you know, he and he knows he's a quarterback And he's not going to be told that he's not a quarterback and all the all the naysayers out there

I want to sit here and say dude. You're not a quarterback. He's gonna be like we'll see, you know, we'll see about that So right major competitor is gonna do everything he can do to be the best quarterback He can be and you know, she's gonna be able to throw the ball just fine Also when he takes off running, you know, I mean you better you better be ready for that, too Yeah, and that's gonna open up, you know, the whole offense. Yeah, you are gonna have to adapt to a new offense without your best wide receiver Joe Flacco, though Did you tell him not to even look like he was giving a shit when he was playing wide receiver? You know how bad that is like even his wife Dana told him that I was really bad

She was embarrassed by it. You know what I mean? But here's how Joe is a Joe Joe I'm sure here's at some point time. It doesn't fly. Nothing phases Joe. Yeah, like you can't really make Joe feel bad No matter what you say to him. No, I can't make him feel bad. So even Dana couldn't pull that one off Yeah, I mean pft. I don't know if you know this about him, but he basically started the whole is Joe Flacco elite conversation Really? Yes. So I have to ask you was he elite? Man, that's tough. You know elite elite elite elite elite elite person. Absolutely elite dude elite guy Yeah, you probably saw our shirts in your locker in your locker room. They're not sure it's yeah It says I'll have him use one in a bunch of them elite. Those were our shirts. Yeah, Joe Flacco face. Yeah

So he was my quarterback want to super yeah Yeah follow-up question you also cut Danny Woodhead so between getting rid of you kind of look like Danny Woodhead. Yeah, thank you Danny's like one of my best friends. He's been on our show what five six times. Yeah like that So why do you hate Danny Woodhead? I love Danny Woodhead. You know, it's crazy about that like Danny Woodhead And I worked out together every morning. This guy's like a pull-up machine teacher's pet kind of I didn't think so I didn't work. I appreciate it. Yeah, there you go. I mean, I felt like he liked me I guess not because here's the deal as much as I love Danny Woodhead. Danny Woodhead is not talking to me since okay And spoken to me since and and I have to say I'm not the general manager

So I don't actually cut the people but right but you know head coach does have some influence So I get it, you know, I mean we'll feel that was on me Do you want to call call check that tell me he is not I have not talked to him since the dead happen I'm not gonna text me back. He will fix it right now. I felt bad It was hurtful. I asked the question big cat. What do you want to you were talking about the refs yesterday was yesterday? Yeah, how can we fix it? We're I mean we're football fans at the core and we want it to be the best game ever We'll hold on to that question while he calls Danny Woodhead. Let's see. I hope he doesn't talk me. That would be Yeah, this is gonna be really tough. It could be he's a big phone call. Oh, he's a good

Hey Danny, what's up? I'm here with your old coach mr. Harbaugh And he says he says that you haven't spoken with him in a while And I was standing on the table for you and saying like hey, why'd you cut my best friend Danny? And so he had nothing he had nothing but nice things to say about you So I wanted to play matchmaker and get you guys because he seems like a good guy You weren't the reason yeah, I'm right here. Yeah, right here Danny. It's not my fault Danny How you doing, buddy? Oh, yeah, you think I was here. Yeah Oh, it's good. It's great. No, I love you. I told him I told him you're a pull-up machine man

Every morning we're working out in the morning. You were just killing those pull-ups Yeah spread the grit hey Danny last question for me what people are saying that you're a little bit of a teachers pet Trying to work out with the coach in the morning. Is that true? I didn't say that Danny Okay, Danny we missed you we'll have you back on the text coach There we go, we put it all put it all back together like All right, don't don't dodge the ref question. So how we fix it. It's easy I mean, okay, so your fans right you guys are watching the game and you see that you see the play that the Rams Saints play yep, how long we're taking for you to throw your flag half-second. Yeah, because I bet on the I bet on the saints

Yeah, I mean, it's like I just think that the officials they have a tough job I mean they're down there. It's real time things happen fast. They're still communicating. They'll still stop They'll still take time to try to get it right. So let's put an official up in the box Yeah, it doesn't have to be a replay guy doesn't have to have any more power than anybody else But just make him the sky judge. Okay, let him let him let him officiate the game from up there, too He didn't have to be looking at holding and all the little tiki-taka stuff just the big stuff Just the clear obvious stuff. He can he can talk to the official and say I got an obvious passing interference there Throw your flag on that, you know, hey if it turns out that he's wrong. They can always pick up the flag

They do that all the time, but let's clean this stuff. You're right because it's it is it is Something we kind of forget that how fast the game moves and the refs are in a situation where if something happens And you and you miss it even if for a split second you can't go back You know if especially a play like that that you can't review Well, I'm not one to sit here and say the refs are terrible and they're bad And they stink and all that like some people will right but because they're not I mean it's a tough job and all that But but you know, we got to help them Yeah, you know and the fans aren't too happy when they come out of the game feeling like the end the results not fair

I mean you look at what happened to boxing, you know, people don't think boxing was was with you know, they feel like it was fixed Right, okay still is okay. Yeah, yeah, probably always was but football is not you know football is a fair game But they can't be thinking that the that the referees are biased or that they're incompetent Right three of them had spent time in Los Angeles over the previous 15 years That yeah It was mean that people picking it apart that out there, but you know, you're right. You're absolutely right I agree with you. It's it's not like these guys are bad officials They're the best officials in the world at football. It just so happens

It's extremely difficult to referee an NFL game down on the field level with all these guys flying around you Yeah, I agree with that. I mean, it's like our obligation, you know, it's like from the coaches are all for something like this But to me the league it's it's their obligation to help those guys be the best they can be, you know, that's their job So let's just listen. It's it's forward-thinking man We're behind all the other leagues with using technology. So just clean it up. Yeah, I also like how they're probably a bunch of referees at home Being like, yeah, get them. Yeah, you tell them John. Yeah. Yeah, so you're yeah, exactly. They'll be extra nice to you next year Yeah, that's always worked out well for me. Yeah, you guys know I mean, we've been great on the sideline that the officials. Yeah, yeah, for sure real gentle conversation

Yeah, how many pairs well not pairs how many muck turtle necks do you own and are you obsessed with muck turtle necks? You have a lot of muck turtle necks like during the game. Yeah. Well, I have no muck turtle necks at home I have them like in my locker because I get cold. I got a long neck. See you do have a long neck But it's a it's a thick neck. So I always had a good thick neck, but it's like it's long and it's like I mean, you under just shy six feet tall with a long neck. Yeah, where your shoulders at, you know, probably have shoulders Oh five seven guy, you know So my neck gets cold. Yeah, there's a lot of heat through the neck That's your signature though. At least you have like a signature look

We you know, you know, it's NFL Sunday when you see John Harbaugh walking down the sideline wearing a muck turtle man Yes, okay. Yes, absolutely. So the for your family all coaches. Do you guys call each other coach? No, what if you're walking and someone says coach will all of you turn everybody looks everyone will look my mom even looks Yeah, I would say I mean you guys are all coaches. Is it do you ever, you know Trade secrets not secrets, but you know take stuff from coach Kreen or your brother or like are you able to Sit down and talk about games and have them help you. Yeah, how you coach We actually do a lot of that I was calling Tom complaining about the free throw shooting of the Bulldogs right now

I want to see some better free throw shooting, you know, so that's a big thing for you too. Yeah, he was kind of mad Yeah, I appreciate it But no, I he gave me a thing on attitude like a like a little force sentence deal on attitude He sent it to me and he came up with it. It's really good. I'll send it to you guys He sends me stuff every now and like motivational stuff. Yeah, he does. Yeah, I sent it to the team. I mean gave him credit I mean time. Yeah, we do that all the time. Yeah, my favorite thing. He ever taught us was get ahead stay ahead That's Jack Harbaugh. Yeah, that's great stolen from Jack Harbaugh. Wow. Okay. Tom took credit for that. Yeah, Tom Tom He's listening to the straight Jack Harbaugh over there. Oh, yeah, I like that. What do you what about your brother and

This the way this last season ended you talked to him after that Ohio State game because it feels like he's you know Not teetering but people will get anxious in in Michigan and he's had success everywhere. He's gone Yeah, and they just want to beat Ohio State. Yeah. Yeah, it'll happen. You know, I mean you don't get everything you want right away I feel like I feel like Ohio State gets blown out by Purdue But it's a mid-season game and then we forget that's what needs to happen I mean Jim Jim he had a great run there But now you lose to Ohio State in the one last game you have you you play probably your worst game and Big stretch there against big teams. They played all those big teams and now of a sudden, you know, you know

Not getting anywhere can't win the big one and all that Urban had a little head start on him too. I got a lot of respect for urban, you know, they've done a great job But he got there sooner, you know, so they were a little bit ahead of Jim when he got I think you just hacked it though I think that Jim needs to schedule Ohio State in like mid-October and West Lafayette Who do you think wins in a battle royale the Harbaugh's and I'll give you Tom Tom can join in with you guys are the grudans Oh, Harbaugh's not close. Wait, you know, you didn't let me finish do screwed in is also in the back John yeah, John

Five foot four about two hundred Wait, you didn't let me finish the Ryan brothers or the refs. Mm-hmm. I don't care. Okay. We'll take on the Ryan brothers, too I mean, they're you know, the wrestling match probably not they're kind of they've got a little bigger a little bigger You guys are more mobile though You guys are like I can go off the top rope on them What should you do you keep them moving you wear them out then they you know, they can't lift up their arms And you take them down I don't think Jim Harbaugh would lose in a fight to anyone. I've never seen him. He's never give up

Never sees undefeated. Yes. If it was in the ocean, too Rob Ryan can swim yeah, we've had Rob on the show Yeah, he's definitely I didn't seem like a guy who wants to get too deep in the water. Well, his hair is got you know You got it, right? That's right. Yes. Yes Yes, RG three gonna play this year. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'll be place for us Oh, is it really? Yeah We can't he's technically you are with him. Yeah, but in the preseason he actually he looked pretty good, didn't he did he did Yeah, he's I did he was able like he was putting the ball on a dime his accuracy was love

I'm always gonna have a soft place in my heart for RG three because when he came into the league as a rookie Like I haven't been that excited about a football player in a very very long time And then obviously, you know, he had his injury issues went away But it actually looked this year like he helped himself he helped his career Maybe got like a little second window that to me you're right I mean, it's good observation because even in practice he looks legit And this guy's a former first pick in the draft, right? I mean the first second second Second luck and then we're still debating which one was better. Yeah, I mean RG still got time to make his make his run

You know, but he was good. He was good in practice. He was good in the preseason games You know, I would say this I think you know a lot of people might chuckle at this But I would say this his best football is ahead of him. I really believe that. I mean, he's a quarterback He's a pro he works at it and he when he goes out there against your defense We had the number one defense in the league. He's trying to pick the defense apart. Yes, we did Okay, but in all like all DVO a like all the nerd You can pull guys like me Yards just gonna go yards. Well, no, I agree with you yards

It's kind of been the standard for like the last hundred years I mean points I think matter to yards is more points game bears number one on points Yeah, pretty sure they were we'll play the Bears defense against our defense right now That would actually be great football game. No, there's not actually no no offense. Well, maybe just tackling each other bears Well, maybe you have to play offense like as a defense you could figure something. Oh, yeah, that would work. We could Speaking of defense did Ray lose I like your I like your feisty. Yeah, I mean, I'm just stating facts So it's not even as you see them. Yes, as I see them, right? Did you ever understand what Ray Lewis was talking about just in general? Okay, I did yeah, I got the just basically just

Oh, yeah, Joe Joe Joe has fun with that. Yeah, did you did you go to his Hall of Fame induction? Yes Were you like is this ever gonna end? I was mesmerized I mean, I love Ray and I do love Ray and I'll tell you what Ray Ray is like in all seriousness sort of But in all seriousness, he's a man of great faith and he has a great message and he impacts a lot of lives Man, he takes his time. He's on he's on the you know He is seriously and it's not like star people that like some people like want to have the phone numbers of guys like Danny Woodhead on her phone. Yeah, that's a big star. Yeah, but this guy He's he's on the phone with kids kids who are sick, you know, it gets relationships with him

You know, he's a really good harder person. Yeah, and he doesn't give a pretty good talk a pretty good fire up speech He does like when I hear him talk if I was in that locker room, I would be ready to run through brick wall But I wouldn't know why yeah, right, right, right. That's fair. Yeah, that's fair. All right, my last question Do you think who who who's gonna retire first and which rival do you hate more the Steelers or the Patriots? Tom Brady or Ben Roffelsberger? That's a level we did go down into a depth level of hate here. It's really hard to get that's what I love It's true. How do you measure that level? Yeah of disdain. Yeah, that's what makes football highly respect You know both because they're both great, but the stain level is really up there. Not as people. Yeah, but as play during the game

Yes, yeah, you want to just do whatever kind of damage you can so who gets the anger up more the Steelers of the Patriots Probably the Steelers because we play more all the time You know so you have more opportunities to get to get it juiced up, but when you play the Patriots, it's usually pretty big Yep, we got him coming up again this year, so I tell you what after the after the after we play him this year I can maybe way back in we ask the question is coming. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I still storm is coming Yes, I still think back to that. I forget what year it was maybe 2013 was it? It was in Foxboro Tied in drop that that touchdown pass. It was 2011. It was 2011. Yeah, we haven't

Wisconsin yeah, five. I think you guys Sounds like it's Michigan State. I was there. I think you guys won the Super Bowl that year Yeah, we I was really that was probably our best team 2011 the most talented prayer best We were probably better than the 2012 team Interesting. Did you guys actually back up a Brinks truck when you signed Joe flock of that extension? I don't know how those I don't know how the money's really exchanged. Yeah. Yeah, there was a truck That was just in reverse. He went to he went to McDonald's though. Yeah, he did. Yes. I remember that Alright, I actually forgot I have to ask the C-keek question promo code take you get $10 off

Go to a football game next year because football is the best sport promo code take C-keek $10 off I read a story about when you were growing up with Jim and you guys split the room. Yeah, and you Kind of bamboozled him on the deal. Ah, why don't Jim said that? Yeah, Jim said that you want to clarify because the story goes I can't imagine what the I mean the room is split right down the middle the story goes you see you told him I was the boss of the fish tank with the room and then he realized after you split the room that all of like the Electronics and the cool stuff was on your side and he couldn't access we had no electronics. There was no cool stuff I had to do the fish bowl wasn't even a fish tank the fish the fish tank got so dirty fish were jumping out to escape water

Brother no fish. I love it. I mean it was the only thing he only real a jip complaint He has he could have is that the tape across the room like he was by the door So I was on the other side so I had to pass through his territory Oh, you know, there's really no access like path or whatever. Yeah driveway to get through you said to come through his turf And I think that but what could you do? Yeah, and then he had a chip for the rest of his life And I'm gonna find the perfect time to drown Yeah, you like you like fish so much. Yeah on your side Yeah, I actually have a serious question

So Colin Kaepernick obviously just signed his he just did whatever settlement it was with the NFL that no one's allowed to Talk about but there was some talk this year that you guys were interested in bringing him in What was that evaluation process like for him? You know, we never got into the football stuff. I've been talking like I knew him from time Jim You know had him as a quarterback and he's actually I mean from a family standpoint. We knew him real well So we're kind of there's a closeness there and everything so it was really easy to start talking to him about them Maybe, you know, did you want to come back and play and will we be a good fit nod? So so we were talking for quite a while, you know, we ended up signing RG3. That was kind of the way we went for whatever reasons

But but it could have happened and from a football standpoint, it would have been good I mean, he's a really good quarterback would have been a great backup. Yeah. Yeah, especially and that was that was actually before Lamar, right got drafted So, you know, it wasn't based on, you know, who your young rookie was right, right? All right. Well, thank you. We finally completed the last Harbaugh token like I said at the start. Yeah, we're good to be token. Yeah, we were part of the family What do we get now that we what do we get we get like a glass of milk? Well, it's not a glass you they came in like little cartons. Yeah, little pint cartons. No drink all of yours. Yeah Got you. I let him drink. Do you see what happens? But you I mean, but did you drink milk? No, not enough

Oh, wow, that was not enough. But no, hey at the end of the day you have that look You have the look now on one look the look When you guys catch each other and you're like, you know, you know, when you see him next time give him that look I'm gonna give I'm gonna try and then it'll probably punch me. Yeah. All right, coach. Thank you so much That interview with coach Harbaugh was brought to you by mugsy jeans jumpsuit January is officially over Which means it's back to us wearing our mugsy jeans I'm actually wearing mine right now. I'm touching it if you if you are watching on Barstool gold. I'm touching my jeans and stretching. Look how these stretch. It's incredible. They're super super comfortable

You've heard the name from us before mugsy jeans are the only jeans we wear because they look like jeans But they feel like sweatpants. It's not an exaggeration We don't know how the guys at mugsy did it But their jeans feel like sweatpants that had sex with even more comfortable sweatpants and somehow had an awesome jeans, baby They're words not mine, but also my words mugsy was started by a stoolie who was tired of being uncomfortable in his jeans His goal was simple reinvent men's jeans to look good and feel outrageously comfortable And after five years of working with industry experts, he perfected jeans for the common man The magic is in mugsy's proprietary denim

Which is made from a bunch of high-tech materials that make these jeans mind-blowingly soft and mind-blowingly flexible Even better their jeans come in a stylish fit. That's not too baggy But not too tight so you can somehow look even better than you feel Mugsy jeans are sweeping the nation for good reason take our word for it Give mugsy jeans a try and you won't be able to wear any other jeans again They're so confident they do free shipping and free returns. So your comfort is a hundred percent guaranteed do your legs a favor Head to mugsy.com. That's Mugsy.com to check out mugsy's full line up of jeans and safer work chinos including new sizes and new styles use promo code

PMT for $10 off That's a beer on us in a pair of the most comfortable men's jeans ever by heading to mugsy.com And use promo code PMT the interview was also brought to you by a zip recruiter as any coach or GM will tell you the foundation of any great team is great talent So it's no surprise teams dedicate so much time and effort towards finding the right players The same rule applies when it comes to hiring you need top talent, but you don't have endless resources to find it Luckily, you do have zip recruiter They scout talent for you with zip recruiter one click sends your job to over a hundred of the web's leading job boards

But they don't stop there They're powerful matching technology scans thousands of resumes to find people with the right experience and invites them to apply to your job It's so effective that 80% of employers who post on zip recruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day And right now our listeners can try a zip recruiter for free at this exclusive web address It's zip recruiter calm slash PMT. That's zip recruiter calm slash PMT Zip recruiter the smartest way to hire Okay, let's get some segments. I have cracked the case Hank It's a combo of many stories that have combined into one in my brain. Yes, the subway has skin

You're breathing skin in the subway restaurants That are inside of the subway there are subway restaurants inside the subway. Are you talking about like Penn Station? Got it, so but here Is your breathe in human skin everywhere you go? But hold on the story that I had also thought of was do you remember the yoga mat story about subway? They had like yoga mat plastic in their bread And I then put it all together and I basically was like well They're just they're basically cooking yogis hot yoga. Oh, they're put there cooking like yoga freaks and putting into their bread

And that's why it smells so yeah, so what happens is people go to the big room yoga where it's like a hundred degrees Yeah, they cook their bodies on the mats Yeah, and then later those yoga mats are recycled into bread making the restaurant smell like human skin. It's busted got it Yes, okay. Glad we got to the bottom of this kids of some segments We have first up bad visual for Bryce Harper who is signed with the Philadelphia Phillies and his introductory Press conference with a bunch of fans there. He said I am excited to bring a title to DC mm-hmm bad bad visual Bryce whoops not a great way to start out unless unless

It was one of those situations where it's like you get a day with the cup and you bring it back to the place It means the most to you do you get a day with the world's I don't think anybody would want a day with that I'm just trying to help that shitty trophy if you have to carry that around you're putting out at least one eye So he's like hey, I'm gonna bring it back to DC and enjoy it with my longtime fan Nat fans He's gonna yeah, he's just gonna circle the bases one last time in DC showing them what he did Or he's saying that he's a double agent and he signed with Phillies to absolutely ruin their salary cap and ensure that the nationals What a title that's probably

That's what he's doing. Yes, he did he did it no salary cap issue is very serious I know you're probably not a capologist like I'm baseball. Yes, but yeah, it was a bad visual for sure Yeah, I just hope he's right That'd be nice That the Phillies are gonna be so bad that that the nationals will win the east all the time You know what he went up there to ruin their salary cap and their morale. Yes as a team mission accomplished. Yeah, there you go price How how we like what point many Machado and Bryce Harbour do you think they'll get treated? to the Yankees

Yeah, one of the two, you know, Yankee fans are like, it's okay. We'll just get them in a couple years I don't think Machado is going I think Machado is just gonna be cool as a cucumber down in San Diego Yeah, why would you ever want to leave that situation? No, he's never gonna be heard from again, Bryce Harper different story Right. All right next up we have you put a team in Alaska and it would get less coverage than the San Diego Padres The initial pop would get some yeah would get some coverage and then yeah, actually, you know the Alaskan whatever Alaskan halibats. Yeah. Yeah, because we talk about like the long flights there and stuff Still would be more pop. The halibut would be a very good batter

I feel like because it would have both it's got both its eyes on one side of its face and it's cold Yeah, so it's nice and like hard rigid. No, I'm not like a bat. Oh, I mean like if a halibut was an actual batter It was up to bat. Got it. Yeah swinging a human. Yes. Yeah All right, PR 101 for bridge. So here's yeah, what is the story here? There's an anti-doping I'm woke on this but I want to hear what yeah, so so am I I think we're probably woke for the same reason so Gear Helgamo, he's a Norwegian bridge player, but plot twist. He represents Monaco in bridge events So he's kind of like that kid from New Jersey that plays on the Italian soccer team. Yep, Tony Mule. Yeah There you go. He tested positive for synthetic testosterone and the female fertility drug

Clomapheen Hmm. So he got Boston titties. He got buzzed grown those tits. That's the same thing. I think I got my man. He remembers. Yeah Yeah, Phil Mickelson. Yeah, he's on that And the the president of the Norwegian Bridge Federation Carry on opso said the drugs were not performance enhancing But the world bridge community disagrees and so he's been popped and I think he's suspended From participating in events because he he was taking testosterone. So what do you woke on? I'm woke on the fact that this whole crisis is engineered by the bridge community. Yes to get a headline. Yes

It's pretty easy. It's a good. I mean, it's a good. We're talking about it right now. Mm-hmm. So it worked. Yeah, but yeah It's absolutely fake. Yeah, I mean the If I were him, I would have considered going with the Brian Cushing defense when Brian got popped with that He was like, I've got fake cancer. Yeah, remember that. Yep. I do no one ever questions I was trying to jog my memory because he's been popped so many times. Yeah, which one was it one are we talking? Yeah, so I mean, I'm psyched that we're talking about bridge. It's been underrepresented on the show for a long time Yep, we've got a large community of AWL's who are bridge obsessive But yeah, this guy is so fucking funny. He looks exactly like a bridge player

Let me see what he looks like. He also he says he didn't have a terribly good understanding It's how the drugs got into a system. He's very specific drugs. No clue. No idea. Look at that. That's like, oh, that's yeah Yeah, he's had that same haircut since he was five years old My understanding is many of the best bridge players in the world are menopausal women, right? So they probably take so they're allowed to just snort snort lines of this stuff But a man's not allowed to you know crush up some estrogen and melt it down and slam it into his vein bridge No, never mind. I was gonna say bridge is actually a very fun game But I was thinking of cribbage cribbage is a cribbage is a very fun game bridge

I do not know if I ever played bridge I just think that he should be allowed to try to cure a disease that he's not sure that he doesn't have Yes, yeah, uh, all right next up. We have mike greenberg's dumb rules for hockey. So hey, what was the quote? You threw this out there. Yeah, I'm looking at you hank He said uh instead of overtime instead of doing the like three on three. Who's he? Torch on tortorella, of course, okay, torts noted asshole Uh, he said they should just play three on three until someone dies That is uh, very john tortorella quote. So when someone dies that team loses or wins

That's a good question. Yeah, right. I think the team that has a player die has to win. Yeah, because it's like they gave That's the most hot thing you can do. Right. Just put your life on the line I do agree that three on three like why wouldn't you just play that forever? I mean, it's I You know, are we yeah, I had a joke, but I'm not gonna say don't do it I was just you're saying are we saying are we gonna say they clint mallard truck is the worst teammate of all time for Getting carried off the ice and getting his throat stitched up and not dying. Yeah, that is true Like as far as I tough I

I predict that whatever team clint mallard truck was on would have won more stanley cups had he died on the ice Then they have in the sense. They do the yeah, they do the whole thing. Yeah, I agree very unfair so I actually like this rule just play to the death Maybe that should be all sports instead of keeping score. You just play until someone dies I think they should just play over time. So that goes to should go Four on four or they should start it where it starts five on five And then they do a four and four and then a three on three then a two on two

And then what finally one on one and then it's just goalies I think they should shoot out. I think they should just a goalie shoot out shoot out But it but they add the element of swinging like uh paint cans across the entire Stadium like it's a donkey like all alone. Yeah, and they just swing like 15 paint cans Between the player and the goalie and you so you have to deal with that while also trying to score I like that a lot or you could just you could say we're going to play it On grass and instead of puck you have a ball and you're only allowed to pass the ball backwards And there's seven guys on a team and then you and then you get to lift the trophy cup

And then everybody would be much more interested in watching that. Yes. No, sorry the cup trophy the cup trophy The cup trophy and also mallard chuck fact check was on the buffalo savers There we go. Um, I'm sorry that you've had to deal with a drought of stanley cups since he didn't die on the ice All right. Uh, last up before we get to our monday reading talking soccer mls is back. That was talking soccer It's too soon Just finished just got over my hangover from uh, celebrating the atlanta united Is it atlanta fc or atlanta united? It's one of those european games. That was talking soccer Don't say what which one is it but it's it probably the both. Is it both? It's atlanta united fc

We know our soccer Isn't the whole reason men you is called banchester united because they took two teams and they put them together and they were united Sure, and so now you ask teams are just like, yeah dc united Atlanta united we start talking soccer. It's like ask each other questions when we neither of us know the answer Which like yeah, that works. I think that they should just let the Women's world cup happen this summer and then start the mls season after that. Yeah, it feels like it's just too soon I'm just I wasn't ready. I haven't even filled out my fantasy team yet I'm putting together my bracket for the for the women's world cup. I've got the us winning it all by the way

We need to check our aaf standings We also never did a bet So that's gonna be interesting. Let's see aaf standings. I'm hot on the trail who has I have the two a teams I know that I have Arizona Atlanta. Okay. I think I had Memphis and Birmingham. Okay This is the this is this is bad radio. I had Orlando. I think right Well, this is by the way, this is our last segment before we get to Monday reading bad radio We try to figure out not only what the standings are but what teams for what teams we've got Orlando All I know is that Memphis had a hell of a week. Okay, so

So wait, so tell me We've got a stranglehold on the east division in the east division the Orlando just go total wins Give me total wins for the two teams that we each have so Liam's Liam has seven Liam's seven and one. So Liam had the Orlando Apollo's and the Birmingham iron. So he has seven wins seven and one Pft. I had Memphis and San Antonio. I think so and so I am let's see one and three plus two and two Three wins three wins five losses. Okay But but mettenberger is getting the nod instead of hackenberg. So I feel like I'm gonna put an asterisk on it No, give me an extra win for that. Just spot me win. I'm good for it. We revisit. We revisit. Zach's good for you

I have the a's team. So Atlanta and Arizona. Yep. So you are two and four two and four total Yeah, lana hasn't won a game yet. That's not good. So that means I have San Diego and Salt Lake Yeah, which means I'm three and five as well. Yeah, okay. So I'm pulling up the rear I guess no, I should have I just give me an extra win. So I'm above PFT Okay, so Hank has four wins. I also have four wins. PFT's in last. No, that was a good. That was a good move Hank just pulled there. Just pulled an extra win there. All right, I've got the asterisk. So wait, who's to say? Hold on When we decided this though bet didn't we all agree that we because we love the NFL so much and we hate the a f It's actually if you finish with the most wins you lose

I think that was what we said makes it makes a lot of sense last place with seven wins. Uh-oh trouble in paradise You ready for this? It's truly bad radio. No, the aaf is being sued again by a man who claims that It was his idea wait to start the a that yeah, that was that was everybody's idea Yes to have more football. Yes. I actually had that idea when I was seven years old although jerry jones wearing a f So is it back? Hmm interesting. All right. Let's do our monday reading This monday's reading is brought to you by i'm a typical millennial new yorker with an addiction to sex parlors In the new york post. Yeah typical. All right. Here we go. Michael is the founder of a tech startup valued at 10 million dollars That's actually not that much for a tech startup living alone in a two bedroom apartment in the west village

The 30 year old is the picture of success. Dave's actually 42, right? So it's 42 year olds. He's already lying to us But over the past six years. He has shelled out more than 20 000 dollars on his weekly vice Visits to massage parlors for sex over how many years six years six years. So doing the math. That's about $3,000 a year give or take That's not that much. That's I wouldn't I wouldn't qualify that as an addiction. Yeah, that that seems like yeah Now that you've broke that down Math wise this guy just he just likes to party. Okay, so he so michael's not his real name

But he says i'm a typical millennial guy. I live in the village work in tech Yeah, so typical hang out with my friends, but I suppose what sets me apart is my rubbing tug tug addiction Okay In new york, you can get anything you want on the same block you can go to the hardware store Grab avocado toast and get a happy ending all before 11 a.m What a showoff no, you can't oh my god, you know how long it takes you to shop for anything at a hardware store Oh, so yeah, he threw in hardware store like i'm just a guy look at you like who who's like i'm gonna go You know mix some paint

Go get some avocado toast and then get jerked off. Yeah, that's never that that those three things have never been done in the same morning Yeah, the venn diagram of days that I eat avocado toast and go to a hardware store Yes, uh, it's just two circles at opposite sides of the room hardware store guys jerk themselves off That's a fact. That's why yeah, you get those nice calluses on your hand. Yeah, they do it in the parking lot in their truck All right, uh, one of my go-to places is right next to a fancy sushi restaurant that charges $60 for a caviar roll Wow nice brag It's so easy to get anything that it's also easy not to think what i'm doing is wrong It all started after my longtime girlfriend. I broke up six years ago

I needed instant gratification And I found it in the massage parlor the sex just happened. I didn't even have to ask for it It was so transactional Transaction transactional. I figured it was harmless. So he got entrapped into getting hand job So he just thought the masseuse just wanted to fuck him Yeah, it was a combination of that and that I guess that's intoxicating to some people Yeah, so it's like if they if somebody gives you um, what's that movie with the guy with the flower? Oh the town right? Yeah, the guy from the town the flower guy

He got the other guy's mom addicted to smack by just like putting a spike in her arm one time Don't grew up good and proper. That's right. Oh these masseuses These masseuses got him addicted on purpose. Yeah, if anything they should be arrested. They got him addicted to sex. Yes sex problem Uh, within a few months my business became a regular thing It's the same thing every time the flirty greeting of hey, baby boy That that doesn't really no that does it for me. Yeah, but if you're getting jerked off and yeah, and they're like hey, baby boy Okay, it makes it seem like a diaper change. Yeah, interesting. They've seen your penis and they're calling you baby boy That's a every guy every guy loves to be told he's got a fresh little baby dick

Oh, you're cute cute little baby dick. All right, then I lie on the bed and it's back massage leg massage Flip over tug clean up out fellas. I got a question I got a question fellas. Yeah, is it gay to let a woman jerk you off? Mmm, it's like hey like I'm a man. I can do I can do my own handiwork. I can do my own chores Yes, it's beta move. It's total beta move to let a girl look at your wiener for 40 dollars for the house 40 for the tip. There's mutual understanding. This is part of the scope of services Now, I don't think that okay if I'm being honest my addiction has held me back in dating I've never had trouble meeting women. Sure

Sure, baby dick, uh when I started apps like tinder were starting to get popular But I didn't want to wait to meet up with a girl go on a date and were I just wanted to get to the sex The paid experiences have ruined me okay, that actually That like that makes like once you get delivery like delivery has kind of ruined going out like oh, we could just get delivery Yeah, like cooking dinner. Yeah. Yeah, why why would you ever want to do that? Except if you're using blue apron All right, I went out with a woman last summer and she used her hand on me

But it was awful and just not the same as a professional How what's that conversation when you go out on a date and the the nice young lady gives you a hand job And you're like this is nothing like my masseuse. Just kid stuff. Yeah That's right. There's some really good. Listen. I just need I'm all backed up. Yeah, uh, I love the ego stroking I get at the massage parlor the way they call you big boy. Nope. That doesn't happen You just said you were on the record. Yeah that they call you baby dick. He literally realized his mistake midway through his interview Yeah, no, they say you're a baby boy. No, they say you're a big guy You almost trick yourself into thinking that masseuse is into you. So he's fallen in love with a stripper

A series of them. Yes. Oh all of them. There's also the illicit thrill of getting away with it One time the masseuse gave me oral sex with a condom on. Oh, that's You know, we're really getting hot and heavy I think I might have an addiction too because that sounds awesome. Nothing like getting your dick sucked with a fucking condom Uh, it's exciting kind of underground and crazy that it's all happening at all I have to admit it's easier not to know the real life circumstances of these women working in the massage parlors You're a really good guy. Yeah. Yeah, nice. If they're forced to do this against their will. That's horrible Well, at least you cleared that up halfway through the article

But who wants to think about what who wants to think about that when you're just trying to escape for a bit I can't deny that doing that job all day has to be gross disgusting That's a fair point. He's he's very good at compartmentalizing stuff like this dude. No wonder. He's a ceo Yeah, like this is basically what it means to lead a company Is just like forget about all this all the bad shit that you're doing and just focus on how you're changing the world Okay, here's the bit. Here's this part that's ridiculous when I first heard about robbercraft I was shocked. He's 77 if i'm still doing this in my 70s. That's just sad counterpoint I think it's more sad to be doing this when you're 30

Then if you're like in your upper 70s also another counterpoint Sorry to break it to you buddy. It's a little baby dick. You're gonna be doing this in your 70s You're literally addicted to it. You're going to be doing in your 70s. It also Really made me consider the legal consequences. I just assumed that the act isn't technically illegal Because I've never had to ask for it. Is this guy a lawyer? Oh, I mean that's never asked for that's an ironclad defense, isn't it? He's actually as far as he knows He is the great romancer of our time

These are actually his girlfriends every woman that he meets just wants to rub his tiny little dick until he comes on their hand Every massage he's ever had ends up with a blowjob with a condom. This is a curse for that guys You know, you know how exhausting that much that must be Yeah, just be a dude and everybody jerks you off. Everybody just wants to blow you Yeah with a condom Uh, the expense can be easy to justify too. Maybe the $20,000 that's spent helped me focus on my business Netting me 10 times that amount in productivity. This guy's I like this guy now. Good point He's just spin. He is the spin zone master. That is a life hack right there

Like it's you know what getting these handjobs is a loss leader. Yeah, never asked for it making money off of it Gonna stop eventually so he doesn't do it when he's 70 Doesn't he thought about that it might be bad conditions, but he's like, you know what whatever I won't think about that anymore every time I come all I see is just 100 dollar bills flying out of my penis onto my chest It's good. It's a good investment. Uh, all right wrap it up But sometimes when I think about the money I've spent I get mad at myself I'm definitely too dependent on it. I'm addicted instead of going out with friends after work I'll go to the massage place. Yeah, that does sound actually kind of weird

But again counterpoint that is actually very good for the bottom line for his pocketbook Yeah, you go to a happy hour with friends. Maybe out to dinner. You're looking at, you know, 100 150 dollars in new york Instead he's paying what 40 80 dollars how much 40 for the house so 80 Yeah, so he's paying 80 dollars and uh, then he just goes home and makes himself a sandwich Yep I've been in Miami for a month for work and I've done it down here three times. Wait, where's Dave right now? My okay I've been in months. I've been in Miami for a month for work

And I've done it down here three times after searching for Asian massage parlors online You look for telltale signs like photos of hot girls It's also a dead giveaway when you have to ring through two two doorbells just to walk in so wait He's like it's disgusting. I should stop doing it. But here's exactly how everyone can do it too Yeah, so you go through two doorbells. It's like launching a nuclear missile in a sub telling everyone how to do it Yeah, two factor authentication But here's the thing he's been down there for a month and he's only done this three times That's not addiction. You are just horny and you can't get laid

And so every now and again, you're like, I want to go get a hand job Yeah, this is not a mental like addiction that you have And he finished it up with it's called just like being a loser if I was dating someone I like to think I would stop but I don't know I'm gonna say no that sounds yeah I'm gonna say no if you include that as the kicker in your article about how you're addicted to getting Handjobs from masseuses. I'm gonna say that you would just go ahead and keep doing it I'm gonna say your girlfriend that you get at some point is probably gonna be like

Why are you putting on this condom before I blow you like don't worry, honey? It's just a thing I like to do Yeah, this is the right way to do things He strikes me as a guy that shows up to work functions with the same escort every time but says it's his girlfriend Because she's the one that's always there. Yeah. Um, although it might be nice to work for this guy It seems like he's relaxed all the time. Yeah, and he also does compartmentalize. So if you just make a mistake You can be like, we'll put that in the past. Yeah, I'll just rub you out real quick. Yeah, put on this condom I'll suck it off Not I'm I'm not touching your dick. Yeah. Yeah your baby dick. All right. So that was our monday reading

Wednesday, we have the return of a recurring guest p-man himself not p-boy p-man Adam Schefter coming on wednesday. We'll see everyone that love you guys Talking away Though, I don't know what I'm to say. I'll say did he wait Today's another day to find you shine away I'll be coming for your love, okay Oh Oh

Oh Hey, this is Marty mush Congrats on finishing your favorite boss tool podcast I have a gift for you You have been carefully selected for a special boss tool sports sale And all you have to do is you store 10 for 10 off everything on store.barstoolsports.com Before you start your next episode head over there now and get ready for same patty's day with all your favorite gear That's store 10 for 10 off everything on store.barstoolsports.com. Please keep this between us