Pardon My Take - Red Sox Win WS, Week 8 NFL Recap + Andy Staples Talks CFB

Episode Date: October 29, 2018

NFL Week 8 fastest 2 minutes (2:21 - 8:06). The Red Sox won the World Series and we recap the end of the baseball season. David Price is clutch now, Clayton Kershaw isn't, and how did Dave Roberts keep putting Ryan Madson into games? (8:06 - 15:22) NFL Week 8 recap. Hue Jackson is historically bad, Jameis gets the Done Chain, Todd Gurley screwed America, and the Panthers are really good plus more from the weekend in the league (15:22 - 33:04). Whos back of the week (33:04 - 46:04). SI CFB writer Andy Staples joins the show to break down what the first playoff rankings will look like on tuesday, how anyone can beat Alabama, Pac 12 mess and will the Big Ten be the same? (46:04 - 68:26) Segments include Football guy of the week, trouble in paradise for Ty Lue, in defense of Joe BuckYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, we have the Red Sox winning the World Series World Series recap week eight recap fastest two minutes football guy of the week. We talk college football with our friend Andy Staples from Sports Illustrated makes sense of all of that. And we also have a couple segments for the people pack show.

It is a football Monday. We love it. And you know who else loves it is the cash app. You already know the cash app is number one finance app on the app store. What you might not know is that you can also put cash app in your wallet with cash card. It's the only debit card that offers instant rewards and comes packed with premium features not even a credit card can offer like boosts listen if you're in college and don't take advantage of boosts.

What are you doing? Save up to 10% instantly at Whole Foods Chipotle Wendy's Panda Express or Chick-fil-A and more your favorite spots or even $1 off coffee every time you swipe your cash card at coffee shops across the country, including Starbucks. The cash card puts you in control of your money with extra in app safety features that let you pause your card with a touch. And now when you download the cash app and enter the referral code bar stool, you'll receive $5 and the cash app will donate $5 to the Tyler Trent Fund.

I'm just reading this now. That's awesome. Do it. So football guy the week last week, Tyler Trent. Awesome story out of Purdue. If you download the cash app right now, you get $5. The Tyler Trent Fund gets $5 and it supports Riley Hospital for Children at Indiana University where Tyler has received his treatment.

It's a win-win. You get money. You're doing some good in the world. You're helping out our friend Tyler Trent and anyone who is battling cancer. So download the cash app right now, get your cash card for free, visit the App Store, Google Play Market and put in that code bar stool and get the $5 and then $5 that could maybe save a life. So do it.

Cash app. Thank you cash app. That was really generous of them. That's very nice. Let's save some kids. I love them. Thank you cash app. You're the best.

So do it. Now your part. Download the cash app. Okay. Let's go. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Welcome to part of my take. Presented by C.E.K. C.E.K. Today is Monday, October 29th. Week 8. Hey Teej.

Yeah boom. Let me be the first to congratulate the Boston Red Sox on the World Series. That's very nice of you, boom. We start in London where Bloke Bortles and the Jaguars try to right the ship against Prince Harry, Wentz and Admiral Nelson Algalore. The Eagles are on a season tour protecting the Crown Jewel Lombardi Trophy in a battle known as the War on Dugs. Morone just said no to starting Cody Kessler and Peterson's visor screams, I swear I'm

not a cop while trying to sell you Molly in the Alpine Valley parking lot. The Jaguars had their worst restaurant incident since Mark Brunel tried to get his teammates to invest in his Fudrucker's franchise. Eagles 24, Jaguars 18. In the windy city where Top Gun Maverick Mitch Trabesky and his best friend and co-pilot Jordan Howard buzz New York's Tower and I haven't seen a goose do this much damage to a jet since Sully Sullenberger landed that plane in the huts. New York's season is officially on a highway to the danger zone as always Stoic Todd Bowles

is trying not to show it but baby, baby we know it, they've lost that loving feeling and now it's gone, gone, gone. The Chicago Bears Tom Cruise to a 24-10 win. Some spread. In Charlotte the Ravens take on the Panthers and Lamar Michael Jackson is trying to tell Joe Flacco to beat it. But as Baltimore was trying to spin records Carolina was trying to DJ more. The Panthers started two tight ends instead of a running back or wide receiver.

What do you think about that fantasy play Teej? Weird flex but okay. At five and two this Panthers team is starting to feel like 2015 and Norve Turner's offense is fitting Cam Newton like a nice pair of jeans on Friday. Panthers 36, Ravens 21 and Pittsburgh James Connair outclassed Nicholas Cage Chubb and pounded The Rock all Sunday long. Oh yeah Teej, Connair is a movie where he had to overcome the violent sexual deviant that was trying to take the plane off course.

No that's Ben Routhisberger there Schwann. Wait was Connair the movie with Patrick Swayze where he keeps getting into barfights? No boom you're thinking of Todd Haley. Sorry Teej I think I've had one too many d-d-d's. No no that's Requiem for a Dream. Want to do ass to ass? Okay Teej open up. Some spread.

Steelers 33, 18. Standing on a quarter, James Stingston, Arizona, such a fine sight to see. It's a QB my lord in a broken down port, look at his leg, oh my god is that pee. Come on Les Mis, you're about to be infamous. Step aside and let it see, try to save us. James Winshaw got benched in the third quarter for a QBR lower than his Uber rating. Bengals 37, bucks 34. Bumble it, stumble it, bumble it, stumble it.

Tick, tick, tick, tick. In the middle lands where the New York football giants and Pat Sajak-Shermer would like to buy a W. But Eli Manowite says they're all out of dubs as Alec Sirbeck-Smith put the giant season in final jeopardy. The Redskins kicking game was on point behind, all we are is Dustin the Wind Hopkins and the giants close their eyes, only for a moment then AP is gone, the giants fall to 1 and 6 and even Sykwan Charles Berkeley thinks that, that's terrible, that's terrible, that's terrible.

Redskins 20, giants 13, an arrowhead, the Kansas City Chief Keefs and all their bitches love Sammy Sosa Watkins and it's always macaroni time for Andy Reed. Denver in a touching tribute to their former star quarterback went into the wrong person's house and got their asses kicked, proving the life old lesson if you enter another man's Mahomes you'll get the wrong end of a vacuum cleaner, as it was the Broncos that were doing all the sucking. Chiefs 30, Broncos 23. We finish it in sunny Los Angeles where the Packers and Rams face off in an NFC clash

and we flash forward to the 4th quarter as Ty Montgomery was showing his oh no face up to with a point spread of 7.5 and 1 point away from the over under, some spread, Todd Gurley breaks loose and he's rumbling and he's stumbling and he could go, oh the, they don't keep building tall hotels in the desert for no reason folks, that's why they play the games. Alright, weak hate in the books, we will get to Todd Gurley, we will get to a full recap of the NFL, but we have to start World Series, the World Series ended, the Boston Red Sox are your World Series champions, they beat the Los Angeles Dodgers 4-1, a series that

was, I mean the 18 inning game on Friday was insane. Did you stay up for the whole thing? No. Thank you. Did you stay up for the whole thing? No, I fell asleep. I'm the only real Red Sox fan on this podcast. I would sleep.

Bobba did. Okay. I was sleeping like 12. It was 3.30. It was 3.30 in the morning. I did the, I smoked it like 12.30 and I was like, this won't last more than 30 more minutes and then I just passed out. Yeah.

If you went home from the bar at closing time in most places, you still had another hour and a half of baseball to life. So besides that game, the Red Sox, like they just, they just dominated the series. It felt like they always had the big hits. It felt like they always had the big moments, felt like the Dodgers were always, even when it was tied, they were down. And so Hank, congratulations. Congrats Hank.

Thank you. Congrats to Bobba. Probably bigger fan than me. Yeah, Bobba. Big time. Congrats City of Boston. I know we have a lot of, a lot of listeners. Happy for your mom.

I'm not mad at you anymore. I, I accept your apology for giving me a stare down after the Saints covered and whatever. You stared me down. It was very rude of you. You were in the middle of winning a World Series and you still decided to stare me down on a losing bet, but I'm not mad at you anymore. No, I won't. Congratulations.

Yeah. Yeah. No, I lost the bet. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Now I'm remat. Now I'm remat. So Hank, Hank pimped a winning bet on you.

No. He stared you down. Hank bat flipped a winning bet as the Red Sox. We're two outs away. Two outs away. Well Hank, let me, I mean, as a current champion myself, as a Caps fan, I know that, you know, a lot of times you ride on a big wave of emotion. So that's okay.

Wow. Yeah. It's been a while. I didn't know how to act. Yeah. So it's crazy. All of our teams won a championship this year. Yeah, it is.

That is nuts. Wisconsin won the Big Ten West regular season in 2017. How to brag. So I think we only have one strategy because Boston, Boston sports fans, you guys, congrats, congratulations. It must feel nice to be a fan of championship teams. What is this? The like 11th title in the last 15 years.

So what was the longest drought you've had? It's like three years probably, right? It was, yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. How did you get through that? Uh-huh. It called it the drought.

2000. It was a dust ball. 2008. The Celtics in 2000. You know what? Celtics in 2008 to the Bruins in 2011. There you go. That's what we save every year.

I was a freshman in high school. We have in this house. My whole high school, my sophomore and junior year, I didn't see. Okay. Let's talk about the games. Let's talk about, let's talk about the series. You know how hard it is growing up as an adolescent like that? Well, okay.

Hey, here's what we do. We have to divide and conquer New England nation. So we ask them, what is the greatest championship, the greatest Boston championship of the last 18 years? I'll tell you what, the Red Sox this year were definitely, they're definitely now in the discussion. I think 1998 Yankees, I don't really do like the, you know, whenever you're like, who's the best baseball team of all time?

So I was like, the 1927 Yankees won 155 games and they all hit 45 home runs while eating hot dogs in between innings. Like, okay. And they didn't like black players. Yeah. I don't really care about that. Probably not. Modern era.

Yankees, they swept the world series, won 114 games. I think there's probably some Reds team somewhere in there, the big red machine, but this is, I mean, 108 games, only losing one game, every series along the way. I want to do a little like, we got to divide though, what like coming out of it because David Price is now clutch. Yes. Very clutch. Clayton Kershaw, still kind of a bum.

And that was tough. You know what? I like Clayton Kershaw. He's a free agent, right? That's, I think he might be free agent. Is he going to free agent? Yeah. He's a bum.

You'd be killing him. Bum is hard. Bum is hard. But he's, that, that was, tonight was a moment. If he was a Cubs pitcher in his career, it happened the way it had, no, you'd be calling Bum. Well, no, he's pitched some good, he's had some very good outings in the playoffs. Like he has had some big games, but when you, in the World Series, yeah, when you, when

you give up to run home or in the first inning, that's tough. Mandy Machado, the world's biggest jerk. I love Mandy Machado. I don't want him on the Cubs, but I love this guy. It was perfect that he was the last out to end it. It was perfect that he was on his knees. Yes. On his knees.

Yes. It was perfect that, that he stepped, was he the last out when he stepped on the guys ankle the other night? Yeah. Might have been. Yeah. So he, listen. Second time he's done that.

Second time he's done that. He had blown bubbles down the first base. The guy knows. Pimping singles. Pimping singles. The guy knows how, how to end the game. That's for sure. It was, he, it was his coming out party as a real asshole and I love it because the world

like. Absolutely. Big baseball fun again. We need villains and Mandy Machado was the perfect villain blowing a bubble while running lackadaisically down the first base line in a world series game. Yes. Is fucking fantastic. And, and trying to tear the Achilles tendon of the first baseman.

Yes. For the second time. Yes. The series. Yes. And then, yeah. Pujig was also the perfect villain. No, no, no.

He was Aguilar in the series before. Oh yeah, you're right. For the second time. He spreads it out. In like two weeks. Yeah. He doesn't, he goes, he makes, he's just trying to take down every first baseman on every team in Major League Baseball.

The Vontae is perfect baseball. Yes. Pujig is like the perfect villain you want on your team. Yes. Pujig in the first four felt like that was going to be, like that felt like the Red Sox were now in trouble. That was the best, like probably five seconds of baseball that I've watched in a long time. When he hit the shit out of that ball, pitcher spikes his glove.

Hard spike. It lands like 50 rows deep. Yeah. The crowd goes nuts. That, that is why I like to watch baseball. Yes. Yes. And then we have the, the guy that I'd say more than Clayton, I don't think Clayton

Kershaw gets like, of course he wasn't even step up big, but I don't think he gets blame for the loss. Ryan Madsen. Now when you have the president tweeting about the reliever and everyone is basically saying this guy should not be in the game and Dave Roberts keeps putting him in the game. It was incredible to watch. Like, what do you think is going to happen? Dave Roberts.

Well, Trump's trying to keep up with a minute of John from Iran. Yes. He's become like the politician that's got the sports. It's cool. Yeah. Like score the buckets. Yeah. President Trump tweeted, watching the Dodgers Red Sox final innings, it is amazing how a

manager takes out a pitcher who is loose and dominating through almost seven innings, rich hill of Dodgers and brings in nervous reliever who gets shellacked, four run lead gone, managers do it all the time. Big mistake. Huge mistake. I bet you I can guess what his thoughts on the, on the Strasburg shutdown were too. Yeah. In 2012.

But this is like, if Dave Roberts, if Dave Roberts doesn't even have Ryan Madsen's name to call, it's like a different series. That guy, I don't know what Dave Roberts thought every time he put him in. He gives up all his inherited runners, right? Yeah. Like every single one. He's had seven inherited runners in the series and every single one of them has scored. Yeah.

And then, and then on top of it all, he came in and gave up his own runners. So he won. Yeah. He's kind of icing on the cake. Like I really, really fucking stink. Any other. Well, I said, I said, I said that the Dodgers bullpen was going to be there on doing. You did.

From the, from the start. I also said, uh, Red Sox in five. So not to brag, but I called it. You did. You got it. So I thought David Price should have been the MVP. Me too. I'd, yep.

I agree with that. Maybe that's because we all expected him to say he didn't. Yes. It's absolutely like he had a very low bar to clear and he cleared it really well, but still like the expectation versus reality. He absolutely dominated. Yes. So any, any last words Hank, before we get to football, I just wonder who's next, who's

next for Boston? Hmm. I thought you said the Celtics can't score because they, the only one ball and they know their offenses. It's more just like the Patriots have a championship before the Celtics do. Oh, I got it. It'll probably be them. But like if they don't win this year, then Celtics got it.

Okay. Well, let's, let's, let's start with there with football. The Los Angeles Rams are still undefeated. The game of the day, cause it actually was kind of a bad week eight. Like there wasn't, the witching hour was not that, the only thing that was really stuck out was the bucks and bangles. And we'll get to that because of the point spread. The Rams, the, the Packers, Todd Gurley, you owe American apology.

You owe me personally to like, I want you to come to my house, knock on my door and give me like a fruit basket. You know what, he's going to, you know what, now that you just said that, he's going to fucking spin this to be like some, some, some commercial for AT&T or something. Do you know what I mean? Like Todd Gurley calling, calling up and apologizing to people and then he's going to make money on top of the money that we lost. So if you didn't watch, it was a two point game with 50 seconds left and Todd Gurley,

the overrun was 56 and it was at, or 57, it was at 56. Todd Gurley running clear for a touchdown, goes down on the one yard line and everyone who had Rams minus seven and a half and over 57 had a collective shot like stroke and cried and swore. Yep. And that is why we gamble. Yeah. But not really.

If it sucked. Yeah. I had a really good idea for him. Team up with like an abstinence group. Be like kids, you know what's really cool? Stopping right before your score and making sure that you get that ring. Shades of Brian Ressberg in 2007. Yes.

Yes. He did the exact same thing. So fuck you, Todd Gurley. And then he went on online after and said, I have no, I don't give a shit about it. He said, what spread, crying face, crying face, crying face, hashtag Rams win. He's a cat guy and this goes along in my long held opinion. You don't trust a cat guy. Yep.

He's got two cats. You can't, anybody that makes the honest decision to have an animal live in your house that also craps in there, I will not trust you with a single thing. Todd Gurley. Todd Gurley, you son of a bitch. You son of a bitch. And you know what it was for me? It was more, that was like, that was the pièce de résistance of my entire losing day of

gambling. Yeah. I lost every single bet, except for one. Well, except for the picks we gave out on Friday, we went and ate more than one of those. But I lost so much money and that was like a little bit of a bailout. A bailout for me. And he fucked me. He double fucked me.

He let you fail. You're Bear Stearns. Yes. He just lets you fail. I'm too big to fail, Todd. So we had that. We had, excuse me, the Rams, by the way, Sue is on another level the last couple of days. Well, he hates Aaron Rodgers.

Yeah. He has like six sacks. They, that was the first time it felt like the Rams were tested and the first half they played terrible and then they started to figure it out and that team is really, really good. Can I give you some Sunday scaries? Yeah. This is going to be a loss that the Packers can build off of.

Well, they have a tough schedule coming up. They're going to build off this loss. They got a tough schedule coming up. I would be very woke on them. You see Calibro, Aaron Rodgers, a little bit afraid of that California sun out there. He had people that were seriously just standing next to him on the sidelines holding a tarp over his head. And also, and also the playbook is now out.

If you don't want Aaron Rodgers to rip your heart out in the fourth quarter, have Tymon Gummary fumble by bringing a ball out of the end zone for no reason. It's a copycat league. That's the new play. We have PFT, I have some crazy news for you. You'll never believe this. Are you sitting down? Yes.

You're looking at me right now. Yeah, I am looking at you. Hugh Jackson and Todd Haley are at odds. Oh my God. Could you see this one coming? No, I cannot see that coming. So the Browns are a fucking mess. They were the plucky underdogs to start the season.

The Steelers pretty much had their way with them and the Steelers are kind of back, I would say. But there's reports that Hugh Jackson might get fired. There's reports Todd Haley might get fired. This was like one of those things where everyone, I mean, everyone has had that friend who's been in that relationship or they're like two crazy people and they fight all the time at the bar in front of everyone and you're like, this isn't going to work out. This is really bad for everyone.

Yet they stay together and we all know it's going to break up in the worst way possible. That's Todd Haley and Hugh Jackson. I agree with part of that. I actually think it's more like an arranged marriage because I don't think this was Hugh's call to bring in Todd. I think they're like, hey, Hugh, we need somebody with a different offensive mind and by that I mean just somebody with an offensive mind to bring in and so they kind of force them to be together.

Like they put two ants in a jar and you're like, hey, get along, you guys will eventually fuck. And it turns out they just hate each other and one ant is just trying to rip the other's legs off all the time. I just hope it ends up with them both killing each other. So like a little Romeo and Juliet situation and then Greg Williams takes over the crown. No, Bob Wiley. Bob Wiley takes over the crown.

Yeah. Interim head coach Bob Wiley. That's what I was really looking for. So in Tyloo, he doesn't have anything else. Tyloo. So we'll get to that too. By the way, we're going to put our football guys of the week over on the segment side because we have Andy Staples coming up.

But Hugh Jackson also after the game was asked about going into halftime with two timeouts and he said he didn't recall that he had the situation. Well, I mean, he saw the memory lapse defense work pretty well just down the road for Urban Meyer. So he was like, I had a momentary blackout and I think there's something wrong with me. I'm having a heart attack also. So you can't fire me now.

That's the difference though. Sean McFay remembers every play that's ever happened in his entire career and Hugh Jackson can't remember how many timeouts he had in a game that was played 30 minutes ago. At the end of the second half. That's Cleveland. I feel bad because that's the coach he got. You got to have a short-term memory to be good head coach in this league. So I don't know.

I hope they keep you around just for the comedy factor. Yeah, I do too, but they're not. They're probably not. I actually have a couple of stats for you, but I'm going to wait for it. I'm going to do my stat of the day in a minute. But what else did we learn this week? I think we learned the Eagles still have fight and the Panthers are really fucking good. Panthers are awesome.

Cam Newton looks like he's old school Cam Newton now. He's having like the best one of the best seasons of his career. Not turn over the ball. Not turn over the ball. Not make any business decisions just yet. The Jaguars over in London, you want to talk about that? No, we don't have that. You know what?

That game was so early. I didn't even see it. Yeah. Nobody saw it actually. But seriously, like four people getting arrested the night before the game, they got arrested? They got detained. I don't know how the British... The police don't have guns, so that's...

The police officers don't have guns in England. They're called Bobby's. Yes, it doesn't really count. So you don't really know. The Magna Carta is still in effect, so really, unless the king's there, it doesn't count as being arrested. But it was over like a dispute over paying the bill. So maybe my thought is that they were just trying to figure out, like they were trying

to tip too much. And in England, it's like, no, you don't tip here. They're like, no, take our money. You're in the service business. We owe you extra money to help you. And they're like, no, no, no, no, you don't tip. And then it escalated from there. Do you know what it was?

You know what the Jaguars need to go out with? They were trying to pay in euros. That was what it was. Yeah, they didn't know about Brexit. They forgot about Brexit. Yeah, it happens to the best of us. Yeah, it just happens. I don't think Tom Coughlin's going to be upset about this, because if there's one person

in the NFL that has gotten into disputes with people over paying a bill, it's probably Tom Coughlin. He's like, why aren't you taking my coupons? Yes. I've got nine early bird coupons. Cornflakes. And you won't accept any of these. Deep cut.

Yeah, he's probably like, OK, Tom Coughlin has a stack of $1 bills on the table. And for every time the waiter or waitress screws up an order, he takes one of them off. Yes. So that's how he operates. He's used to getting into shouting back. And he does like Bible versus verse tip. Here's a little tip for you. You know, that's Joe Gibbs.

Yeah, that is Joe Gibbs. So the Panthers are awesome. The Saints are really fucking good. They went to Minnesota. That was also one of those games. I know Kirk Cousins stats at the end of the day look like decent, and I think over 300 yards passing. But that's one of those games that if you're a Vikings fan, you have to ask yourself, like,

we paid Kirk Cousins to win those type of games and Kirk Cousins isn't going to win those type of games. He's not going to win. He's not going to win those type of games. That was an ugly 20 points. Yes. That he put up. I mean, that's really the NFC is stacked because the Rams, the Panthers, and the Saints are

all very, very good teams. You're leaving one out. The Chicago Bears. I'll get to it. The R words are going to go. Oh, you're going to play in the Sisters of the Poor, 11 and 2 East. That's fine. You play who you play.

That's true. You are who your record says you are. I just invented that right now. Yes. That is true. They struggled a little with the Giants. Well, yeah, because Odell Beckham got off that sauce. He's no longer drinking water.

And so he had like 130 yards. And the Seahawks are not dead. They're not done, even though we put the Dunchain on them, big win in the lines. We also have to talk the Bucks. So James Winston, I think he is our Dunchain for the week. Yeah. Yeah. I think he is our Dunchain.

I was going to say maybe the Broncos, but it fits better on James Winston. It's crazy that he just has not progressed as a quarterback. And I thought James was going to be good coming out of FSU. And he stinks. He's got the tiny hands that we've discussed. But yeah, I don't think it does him any favors that he's got Fitzpatrick like looking over his shoulder because Fitzpatrick is the guy you look at on the sidelines. And you just, you don't know what he does, but you're like, that's a man that would

take another man's job. Yeah. That's true. That's true. So he's playing a little bit scared out there. But yeah, James Winston is just, the reason why we liked him on the show was because he threw very hilarious interceptions and had very funny fumbles. And it went, somewhere in the last like two weeks, it went from being hilarious interceptions

to just being like, Jesus Christ. Yeah. What are you looking at, dude? Yeah. It's like when a comedian takes things too far. It's like, dude, that's fucked. Like Michael Richards gets on the stage at the Laugh Factor and you're like, dude, chill the fuck out.

Yeah. Like this is funny. Yeah. Exactly. You're ruining Kramer. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah.

James Winston ruined himself by being too ugly with his interceptions. He is, we talk about how football fans now watch everything through the red zone. Like the Cardinals 49ers game, absolute terrible game. And you could tell because the red zone was updating when there would be like a 10 yard pass. Yeah. You're like, look at this first down for Larry Fitzgerald. It's like, oh yeah, I forgot that game was on.

And a first down is actually a very big play in that game. James Winston has gotten to the point where when red zone goes to James Winston dropping back, there is a like legit 50, 50 chances in an interception. I'd say more. Yeah. I'd say it's more than 50. Like, you don't have to be a football coach. You don't have to watch the all 22.

You just have to talk to someone who watches the red zone for 10 hours every Sunday and be like, is James Winston going to throw an interception? Coin flip. And that's not a good spot to be in. It is kind of an exhilarating feeling as a fan of perennially shitty teams. Yes. To have like your quarter, whenever they throw the ball, your butthole tightens up a little bit.

Yes. Like I kind of missed that feeling a little bit. Yeah. And the Bucks have that. Actually, when Fitz is in there too, they have it a little bit. Oh yeah. So Fitz Patrick, at least it's the 50, 50 interception or like 75 yard bomb to D'Shawn watching Jackson.

Yeah. So D'Shawn Jackson said that he wanted to trade before the game. Now I think he might be reconsidering. Yeah. Now he's like, my guy's back. Yeah. My guy that I share jackets with. And we have that funny situation that always happens in the NFL where the guys, he, so

James Winston's in his last year, he's got it one more year, right? An option, I think. I think so. Yeah. And he like, you know, pass that line, they have to pay him. So now they have to weigh, should we even play him? Because we don't want to get him injured. We don't want to pay him all this money.

I think I have this right. I might not, but it sounds right, doesn't it? It's like what happened with Blake last year, they had the opportunity to give him that one year extension, but they just signed him to like a three year deal because he's smart. Right. Tyra Taylor got the operation during it, right? Yes. Yeah.

One of those things. Winston, they'd be, I think they'd be smart to not play him. Yeah. I mean, I don't know if you're trying to win games. I don't know what you're trying to do. No, Der Cutter doesn't know if he's trying to win games. Yeah, he has no idea. But that, that was another game that pissed me off because I had, I had the Bengals and

that was an easy cover. Tough. And tough to win in this league. It is. I just got absolutely hosed. I told you, you should, Vegas should have an option that when Ryan Fitzpatrick comes into a game, you should immediately get to cancel your bet no matter how much you're up or down because he changes everything.

Yeah. Fitzpatrick insurance at least. Yes. If you're down the box, you should be able to lay down like an extra 10% and be like, okay, if Fitz he gets in, I got this. Do you want, so do you have anything else that you wanted to do with Dunchain? I have a couple of stats. I wanted to throw out you some fun stats.

I realized I did this like the last couple of weeks, so I'm just going to start doing this every Monday. And I'm actually going to say that it's presented by Bud Light. You ready for that? Yeah. Let's do it. Fun stats. When you're getting ready to watch your favorite teams, this football season, remember there's

only one light logger to satisfy those taste buds. Bud Light. Bud Light is game day's favorite light logger and it's our favorite light logger too. Famous among friends. Drink your Bud Light. I was drinking Bud Lights down in Jacksonville this weekend. Live Gator. No big deal.

That's pretty awesome. Saw a live Gator. Did you touch it? I had it. Well, I touched the baby one. I didn't touch the big one. Oh, okay. Beta.

Well, you know, I wanted to give it its space. So Bud Light. Drink it. Will you ever see when that dude on the PGA tour walks up to the Gator and just hits it and swims away? Yeah. That's what I assume all alligators do. If you just like slap their tails, they run away from it.

Yes. I'm sure. Okay. So I have a couple of fun stats for you. First fun stat. Calvin Johnson. Sorry. I've ruined that stat.

Eight straight 100 yard games. Only two receivers in the in the in the. Can I guess who they are? Yes. Adam Thielen and Calvin Johnson. Okay. Yeah. You got it.

Okay. Got it. Wow. Okay. Here's another fun stat. The chiefs are eight no on coin flips. Wow. Yes.

That's a fun. That's a really fun. Yes. That's crazy. I'm going eight no in the NFL. That's really really impressive. That's not true. How did you think?

Do you think they do the same one every time or have they switched? I don't know. I think well they obviously do tails because tails doesn't fail. We got to dig deep on that. All right. Here's my last stat. This one is not fun. It's sad.

Out of 219 coaches with a minimum of 40 games coached, Hugh Jackson ranks 218th all time in winning percentage. Okay. The only one who is worse, former Eagles head coach Bert Bell. He's last, but he couldn't be fired because he was also the owner. That's how bad Hugh Jackson is as a coach. The only coach who's ever been worse than him, minimum 40 games was the owner as well. That's pretty incredible.

So, in other words, Hugh Jackson definitely has some sort of dirt on the owner on Jimmy Hazel. Yes. He might just be the owner. Hugh Jackson is probably just in the FBI and he just has access to Jimmy Hazel's file. I was going to say, can you have dirt on Jimmy Hazel when all his dirt is out in the public? Well, there's probably some other stuff that's back there.

If you dig deep enough on it. I mean, god damn, good for Hugh. That's wild. This is why I want Hugh around because what would we talk about if Hugh Jackson wasn't so head-scratchingly dumb every week? It's incredible. I mean, it's unreal that he's gotten to 40 games because that stat is basically all the really shitty coaches get fired before they can get to 40 games.

And Hugh... So, no, Big Cat, you bring up a good point. He's not that bad then. The worst coaches of all time don't have that many games to get to. True. Under four... Yes, there are probably worse than that. Well, I mean, you want to talk about coaches with a lot of losses who's tied for the lead

in that. Jeff Fisher, a great coach. Great coach. Went to a Super Bowl. Yeah, so sometimes if you're really shitty for long enough, that's actually proof that you're good. Yes, fact. I mean, we've been on the air for three years.

Yeah. Our percentage is awesome. Quarter of a year. Quarter of a year. Quarter of a year. That's right. We debuted on Leap Day. So, do you want to do another Dun Chain or James Swinson going to get it?

I mean, I think I was going to do either Detroit or the Broncos. I don't think Detroit's there yet. Well, I was going to pass the Dun Chain from Seattle to Detroit. Can we do that? Ooh. Interesting. If you get beaten at home by somebody with a Dun Chain, you get infected. I think I'd go Broncos though.

If you had to ask yourself right now, Detroit or the Broncos, which team can randomly get in the AFCs easier? Which team can randomly get into the playoffs? I would say it's probably the Lions. I would agree with you. I mean, they lost the swag factor out in Detroit or in Denver. Matt Stafford with an all-time terrible enter to talk about another bad beat. For the over.

Him and Kershaw. And then they ran bad days for those old players. The punter ran a fucking, ran out of the end zone for 12 yards from first down. So, he was going to take a safety team. Yeah, he was going to take a safety team. Official Broncos. Yeah. Let's give it to the Broncos.

Old horse face John Elway. Okay. Doesn't have a stable quarterback situation. Yeah. And the Chiefs keep rolling. Yeah. The Chiefs keep rolling. Do they get rid of them?

Yeah, they did. They caught them. Really? Yeah. Stand by your man. For real. If you were to put odds on the team that would sign Swag Kelly right now, who would it be?

Jerry Jones. Bills. Bills? Jerry Jones. I kind of like the Bills. I like Jerry. Oh, actually Jim Kelly, yeah. Yeah.

It's going to be the Bills or maybe the Raiders. I mean, that would fit right in if you're trying to turn back the clock to the late 90s Raiders. He kind of looks like Derek Carr too. Yeah. Yeah. He's never cried before, but he would make him cry. He looks like Derek Carr's older brother that kicks his ass all the time.

Yeah. Get Swag to Oakland. Let's do it. The Swag Hole. Yeah. Also, by the way, Swag, Oakland, they have like the classic they'll fight and stay in a game for about 50 minutes and then just die. Yeah.

And Andrew Luck. Bet on them too. Yeah. Oh, shit. All right. So that's official. The Broncos have been done chained and so has James Winston. Do we want to do who's back?

Yeah, let's do it. All right. Let's start. My who's back. I have a few. Oh, great. First one is the big baller brand. Oh.

So we've talked about it on the show, but LaVar Ball has been kind of quiet this year with LeBron in LA. People say that, you know, LeBron made him shut up, but Kanye West this weekend tweeted out a picture of him and LaVar, meaning there's going to be a collaboration coming soon. It's about fucking time. Yeah. How has this not happened yet? Yeah.

Okay. I like that. I like that collab. I mean, all they need is just they need LaVar Ball to be a sample on Kanye's next album or some sort. I would imagine Kanye West and LaVar Ball having a brainstorm session will be like two guys high on Coke in the, in like a shitty apartment at 4 a.m. Because just fucking ideas, neither of them are talking to each other and just ideas just

flowing. Uh-huh. You know? I've never been there. So it'd just be like two guys high on Coke in a really nice apartment. Yeah. No, I was saying. Yeah.

Right. Yes. Yes. Okay. It like, at like two in the afternoon. Yeah. And then my other who's back was Fergie's National Anthem from the All Star Game last year. Yeah.

That was a banger. Josh DuMall. So he did an interview on Fox Sports One for God, for whatever reason. And he said, Draymond Green wasn't man enough for Apollo. He didn't call Fergie and apologize for laughing at it during our National Anthem. Said he wasn't man. Basically called him out. Who's Josh DuMall?

He was. DuHamel? DuHamel. I don't know how you say his name. DuHamel. Oh, Josh DuHamel. Yeah. He's one of the celebs.

Okay. He's from Transformers. He's like, he's, he's like, pick a celeb. Mm-hmm. He's basically, he's like the claw machine. He's like, grab a random celeb. He, you just throw him in there. Hey, we need a white, a white male with dark hair.

Yeah. That looks kind of like a more masculine toe for grace. Yeah. He's basically. I think that's him. Yeah. He's, he takes every role that, uh, what's his name. Zach Efron turns down.

Zach Efron turns down. In the car crash. Oh, uh, Paul Walker. Yeah. RIP. Yeah. Um, okay. I thought, I thought that that was my, let my brain figure shit out for itself, Hank.

He's Paul Walker. Paul Walker didn't die. Right. Maybe. Uh, but he called out Traymond Green instead of, you know, listening to him and apologizing, Traymond Green, the Warriors decided, you know, petty wars, NBA, petty wars. We invented that. They, there's a remix of Fergie's national anthem.

They played it in the locker room out to the game. Just clowned all over Josh, Duhamel, Dumal. Mm-hmm. It's a live Paul Walker. That's neat by the Warriors. And the song's a banger. The remix is a banger, but Fergie's like, you got to feel bad for Fergie because she got fucking roasted the first time when she did it.

And then now it's like almost worse because it's been brought back up. People had forgotten about it until this. Yes. Hold on. I'm just shocked that, uh, demanding a public apology for Traymond Green didn't work out well. And I thought it was bad because I thought they were still married. So it's like, at least like Fergie can be mad at him, but it's like, they're not even

married anymore. Oh, so Fergie's just getting straight shots now. Yeah. Yeah. That sucks. I just Google. So he was white knighting for his ex-wife. Yes.

Okay. Wait. Fergie. He was just trying to get back in there. Hold on. He was like, I missed those humps, those lovely lady lumps. Junkyard, Paul Walker, married junkyard, uh, pink and Gwen, uh, Gwen Stefani, uh-huh. That's crazy.

It is crazy. Yeah. That is what that's a little insulting to Fergie. Fergie slaps. I think for Fergie and Josh DuMal is basically, uh, Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rostel, and now I think that those two are way above. You don't even know Gavin Rostel. I don't.

Dude. Leave singer Bush. Oh my God. Glycerine. Glycerine. It's only the best band of all time. Don't let your days go by. Got a machine head.

Glycerine. It's better than the rest. It could have been easier on you. Hank doesn't know any song that was written before 1999. That's on like every alternative radio. That was the song you touched. Every, like, three hours. That was the song you touched.

Boobs. Like, Slowdance. Mm-hmm. Like 1998, circa, 97. Yeah. Right around there. Glycerine. Glycerine.

Is that it? Is that it, Hank? You done? Yeah. That was with his back. That was good. Thanks. Thank you.

No problem. My first who's back is Adrian Peterson. Yes. AP's back. Big toe. So we're checking every week we have to see how much Adrian Peterson has left in the tank. That's how you have to phrase it.

Turns out he's got a full tank this week. It's insane. Yeah. He was fast. He was really fast. He was doing the old Adrian Peterson thing where he just rams through people for three quarters and in the fourth quarter he breaks one. Mm-hmm.

He's finally healed from that ACL injury. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy this guy. Like, there's no way that you, if it was sitting here two years ago, we'd be like, yeah, Adrian Peterson would rush for 126 yards. Or like two months ago. Yeah.

It's crazy. Maybe the New York Giants aren't that good. I hadn't actually thought about that aspect when I wrote this down. True. He's a freaking nature, though. He really is. He really is. My other who's back is Petty Wars.

Oh. The NFL. The best league because Antonio Cremardi got into it with Fred X, Mitchell. Mm-hmm. On Twitter. In my mentions. In my mentions. Started by you.

Started by me. Oh, PFT with another personal-related who's back. Freddie referred to Philip Rivers as the white version of Antonio Cremardi minus the different women, just a shitload of kids running around. Pretty funny. Pretty funny take. Yeah. He did not at Antonio Cremardi, but I guess somebody pointed out to Crow or Crow NameSearch,

one of the two. Yeah. Well, I don't know. Crow has a hard time remembering names. True. Someone told him. So he said, Freddie, shut your hoe ass up, which is so petty. Can I ask a question?

Yeah. Isn't Antonio Cremardi the hoe? Yeah, that's a good point. I'm not. We don't. I'm not going to slush him. Don't slush him. I'm not going to slush him.

2018. But if there's a hoe in this situation, wouldn't it be Crow? Yes, normally. But I think it takes a hoe to know a hoe. Yeah. Oh, you call me a hoe now. That's right. Crow knows hoes because he is a hoe.

Oh, true. True. True. Don't slush him. If you want to be a hoe, do it. I would agree with you, except I think in this case, like it's always appropriate to refer to Fred Mitchell as a hoe. True.

He's a hoe in a different way. Yeah. He's not a sex hoe. He's just a hoe in life. He's just a hoe. Bill Belichick basically called him a hoe after the Super Bowl. That's as close to hearing Belichick say, you fucking hoebag. What was his quote about him again?

He said like, I was happy when he was on the field. He's bad. And this is coming from Bill Belichick, who Bill Belichick finds like any way to compliment anyone to motivate his team. I think he literally always would be like, oh, this player is actually really, really good. Yeah. It's a terrible player.

I think he literally said, I was happy when he was on the field. You can print that. Yeah. That's fantastic. Yeah. I mean, like I'm sure that if you looked it up, I'm sure Bill Belichick said, Derek Anderson can do a lot of things. All he does is talk.

The operation of the Monday Night Football game. All he does is talk. He's terrible. And you can print that. I was happy when he was in the game. That is the most outspoken Bill Belichick has ever been and that was Freddie Mitchell. Yeah. So, I mean, that's how Bill Belichick says it.

This is how Cromarty says it. I think they both say the same things. Yes. Okay. My who's backs. I got two. First one. The Bears are back.

They're number one. Okay. NFC North. Just saying. They are. Okay. Mitch. You saw Mitch.

You did all right. The Jets, by the way. We did have that correctly. That was a loser leaves down because the Jets, that's it. They stunk on ice. Their season done so. Yeah. It was bad.

And the Bears, look. The Jets will hold on to it for very long, but you have to enjoy the small steps. Okay. So, I mean, the good news is the rest of your division, except for the Packers, doesn't look great right now. Well, the Vikings, yeah, they're, it's a competitive division. Okay. Yeah.

It is. No, it is. You wouldn't say, I mean, the Packers and the Vikings. I think you just said that Vikings stunk. That Kirk Cousins stunk. No, Kirk Cousins will not win big games. Would you? But he can win enough games to get you in the playoffs.

Here's a fun game I just invented. It's called Would You Rather. Yeah. Kirk Cousins or Mitchell Trebusky. Mitch. Okay. No, I'm saying in a world where money doesn't, if you're paying them in euros. Mitch.

Mitch. Okay. Dumb question. Okay. Next question. We'll see. That's it. That's it.

Aaron Rodgers. Mitch. Mitch. I don't trust Aaron's knee. Can't trust it. Okay. Can't trust it. And then my other, who's back, is Tommy LaSorte Watch.

So that is two years in a row. Jesus Christ. What? No, I think that's fair. Let's be careful. Whoever, like, I do not want to see Tommy pass. I would like everyone to be on high alert. Let's keep Tommy alive.

Maybe we will visit death. You know what we need to do? Have a word with death and be like, hey, listen, our good friend Tommy LaSorte has just watched another team clinch on his field two years in a row. That sucks. That takes a toll on a man. Yes. He needs to have like a little alarm built into him like you have on space heaters in

your room where if they tip over, it goes, it makes like a really annoying sound so you fix it. So let's put one of those on Tommy, so in case he starts to just get a little off balance or to lean a little bit too much, someone can just go back and be like, hey, Tommy, it's okay. We got a good, we have a good core of players. We're kicking Machado off. Don't worry.

Yeah. The guy who blows bubble gum, you know, walking down first baseline. I think this plays a big, because Tommy last year said he was going to die if the Dodgers didn't win. So it's not that we put it on Tommy, Tommy put it on Tommy and I'm going to act appropriately when the Dodgers get eliminated from the playoffs. I get nervous. Yeah.

He didn't say which year he was going to die. He just said it's going to be after the Dodgers get eliminated. I get nervous. So this is just a precaution that we're taking. Right. So again, we might go talk to death and make sure that we can get a little, let's re-up our don't take Tommy. Yeah.

In the meantime, let's get some eyes on him. Yeah. Eyes on the big man. All right. That's it. Oh, another who's back. Spontaneous who's back of the week. Byron Leftwich.

Yeah. He's back in a big way. Yeah. So he called plays for the first time ever. And they won. Got a dub. He's holding all judgment on Josh Rosen this year. I'm officially saying this whole year, too early to judge.

Okay. That's fair. I learned my lesson from Jared Goff. I like that. What about Sam Donald? Too early to judge. What about? Too early to judge.

Bigger man. Too early to judge. Okay. Josh Allen. He's awesome. Awesome. Really good. I've seen all of that I need.

I've seen enough. Yep. Okay. Let's do our interview. We have Andy Staples. He is a college football writer, one of the best in the country. Sports Illustrated. The college football weekend.

What's going to happen on Tuesday when the rankings come out. And we also are going to Baton Rouge on next weekend for Bama LSU. We have some awesome shirts. My favorite shirt we've ever created. Yep. It's pretty nice. It is me and PFT. Riding coach Joe, who's riding Mike the Tiger.

No, we're riding coach Joe. We're riding coach Joe. Yo, yeah. We're on coach Joe's back. Who's on Mike the Tiger. We're on his coattails. No, we're on coach. His coattails are behind him on Mike the Tiger.

I don't know if you can see my other hand, but I am riding coach Joe. I don't think coach Joe would let another man ride. He would if we're trying to get a win against Bama. That's true. So buy it. It's awesome. We'll tweet it. We'll swipe up.

We'll blog it. We'll do everything. Buy it. It's awesome. But you have gray and purple because we know that some people, it's such a good shirt that even if you're not an LSU fan, you'll love it. That's why we have the gray option because purple is a loud color. But buy it and we'll see everyone in LSU next week.

Is that a weed reference? The purple is loud? No. Was it? I like that. It was. It was. Okay.

The purple is loud. I meant to do that. Purple is loud. If you guys need any purple, hit us up. Down in LSU. We'll be selling. If you want to realize, we're going to have the purple. We're going to have a green shirt with like little red threads running through it too.

Yeah. Purple. It's going to be sick. 100 bucks for an eighth. Purple. Okay. Let's do some ads. We have to eat.

I'm going to talk to you guys about a product that is very near and dear to my heart because it's in my stomach. It's Velveeta shells and cheese. I love it. Being an SEC fan can be draining even if you're a Big Ten fan. If you're a Pac-12 fan, if you're an NFL fan, guess what? The game day ritual begins early with tailgates at start of the morning. Then you stand and make your voices heard from the stands through every minute of the

game. The weather at this time of year, it's either scorching in humid or it's cold and rainy. And watching at a bar or if friends can be just as intense and after a long day of being an SEC fan, fans want nothing more than their couch and to indulge in nothing but the good stuff. I've had people tweeting pictures of their shells and cheese at me and I'm telling you, that's better than porn. These shells and cheese, they just, they look delicious.

They pop off the screen. I love them so very deeply. They've got a unique richness, creaminess, cheesiness and meltiness. The pasta shells pool the creamy cheese sauce delivering a cheesier bite. It's a craveable post-game snack. It's quick and easy to prepare with no additional ingredients necessary. Boil water, you cook shells and you stir in the cheese sauce. It can't get any simpler than that.

Satisfied post-game craving with a cheesy, multi-creaminess of Velveeta shells and cheese. Velveeta shells and cheese is giving consumers an opportunity to win an all-inclusive trip for four to the SEC championship game and thousands of instant prizes. Check out liquidgoldsec.com for details. This is only valid through October 31st through Halloween, so get on it right now. Go to liquidgoldsec.com for details. Win an all-inclusive trip for four to the SEC championship game and thousands of other instant prizes.

And now, Andy Staples. Okay, we now welcome on our friend Andy Staples from SI covers college football. The rankings, the college football playoff rankings are coming out Tuesday night, so we wanted to get you on before that to make sense of it. So, more importantly, we basically wanted to get you on to tell us somehow, some way can LSU beat Alabama next Saturday night when we're going to be there. I'm going to be there, too, and it would be something, because have you guys been to an LSU Alabama game?

No. No. Okay, so you've never actually been to a college football game? Correct. Yeah. I've been to many college football games. This is the only college football game. Let me put it this way.

My bachelor party was at Mons Venus in Tampa. And yeah, it's one of those that kind of ruins you for everywhere else. Yep. That's what an Alabama LSU game in Baton Rouge will do to you. Every other college football game you go to from now on, you'll be like, oh, that's it. From Thursday night on, it will be the best college football experience you've ever had. I can't wait. Now, are there a decent amount of Alabama fans that show up there, too, or is it just

like everybody in the state of Louisiana is legally obligated to go? No. There's Alabama fans there. It feels like when the games are in Tuscaloosa, there's maybe a bigger presence outside the stadium. Although in Baton Rouge, there's a lot of people who come just to tailgate. They don't go to the same at all. I did a thing last year on the tailgating scene there where I spent Thursday Friday night

with the tailgaters. And it was, I mean, they're unbelievable. You got to go to the RV lot and find the people with a 24-foot bar, that one's unbelievable. That sounds good. You got to find a dude that, there's a bunch of lawyers that are by the Indian mounds, and they have a stripper pole, and they have ice luges for Vodka. And they'll bring the luges out for the Alabama, and they have to. I will be stopping by.

So when you say some people don't, they just go to their tailgate and not go into the game, that just means they just get too drunk to go on. What probably happened is they probably had season tickets five years ago, and then one day they got too drunk to go in and realized it was more fun out there and just stayed out there. Yes. All right. So you didn't answer the question, which makes me believe that Alabama's going to win

by 100. So let's get to the question. I don't know. They're going to win by 100. Okay. Devin White out for the first half. That obviously hurts. Okay.

So give us the path. Give us the path. The path is, Breedy Williams and Christian Fulton can actually cover those receivers one-on-one, because you're going to have to do that so you can send extra guys to a, and try to get them on the ground, because, I mean, the thing is, too, has been throwing from these really nice pockets, and it makes it very easy for him. And I think the problem is, if you just let him sit up there and give him some time, he will just pick you apart.

So I think the problem, and I don't even know if it's that, because he's more athletic than people give him credit for. He assumes Jalen Hurts is the runner, and too is the guy who just stands there. As you think back to the national championship game, too, he's got pretty good legs, too. So there's not much you can do with him, but you can get him under pressure, and they can make mistakes. I mean, that's one thing in the national title game, he did make a couple pretty bad mistakes, including the play right before the one where he won the national title for

him. Okay. All right. So, I mean, it's, I just, I know that we do this every year where it's like Alabama's the best team, but they, I think we talked about it when you were in the studio in August, like they have broken the pact that we made, like as a country that Alabama's allowed to have the best defense every single year, but they can't have the also the best quarterback and they've ruined that this year by doing both.

The problem is they're too fun to watch now, like the Alabama haters can't hate them as much because that, I mean, when, when Tula throws a ball, it's beautiful. Like you kind of get a little, little tear in the corner of your eyes. You watch it fall into the hands of Henry rugs. I don't know what he does. Like I don't understand how it is that he can throw it really hard 40 yards on a line, but it lands as soft as a, like a little pillow, like a little candy pillow once it hits in his hands.

I don't understand what he does to it. So some Hawaiian match is he, um, is he a hundred percent healthy though? Um, I would, I would imagine he's as close to healthy as he's going to get right now. Good. He had to meet things and I think, I think that was more precautionary where they, when they took him out, they, they said he could have played now. I would bet he could have. I was actually surprised they played him in Tennessee.

So the fact that they played him in Tennessee says to me that he was, he was probably good to go at that point too. Cause why would you do that? When you know Jalen Hertz has already torn Tennessee apart twice, you just let him do it. If you had any concerns about Tula. Okay. So what you're telling me is that the, the road to victory in Baton Rouge is

going to be having the cornerbacks, be able to cover on an island. So you can get pressure on Tula and also having the fans. And you got, you got to make mistakes. That's, that's the only thing you think back to the games they've lost, but the Auburn game last year was a bit of a, you know, a bit of an outlier because that was one where Auburn, you know, with Karrion Johnson, who was healthy until the end of that game and they became a different team after that. But Auburn could go toe to toe with them and Alabama was really depleted

the linebacker at the time and their offense wasn't very, very dynamic, which they would hurt. So that, you know, I think that game would have been different if Tula had been starting, but the other games where, you know, like they lost the Ole Miss in 2015, Ole Miss forced five turnovers in the first half. Well, you're going to lose that game. Yeah. So LSU is going to need to do something like that.

Um, okay. So let's move off of Alabama and just saying how great they are, even though they are great. We do this every year where like right around this time we say, okay, well, it's going to be these four teams in the playoffs and it's no reason to even play it out. Now, I don't think that's the case, but I do think there are three. It's Alabama, Notre Dame and Clemson.

And those three are going to have a tough time not making the playoffs because they have their, basically every game they should be favored and they should win every game, especially Notre Dame, USC looks terrible. But, uh, the, the fourth spot, Michigan, Ohio, state, Oklahoma. If you had to pick, as we're sitting here right now, who would you pick? Who would you say would be the fourth spot? Oh, no Washington state. No Washington state.

The Pac-12 has, has killed itself. The Pac-12, I mean, Oregon going down, I think I kind of, a lot of people saw that coming. Yeah, brutal. Yeah, brutal. But then in the Washington state or Washington losing to Cal, like they seem to eat themselves alive and all the bottom Pac-12 teams beat the top Pac-12 teams and make the whole conference look worse.

Yeah. So here's the thing. I'm a little worried the big 10 is about to do this to itself. Yup. I was watching, I was watching Northwestern in Wisconsin yesterday. Great game. Yeah. I mean, Wisconsin stinks.

I don't really care. I don't care when they stink, when they stink and they're like a truly bad team and they kind of are this year, it doesn't, it doesn't hurt the same. You know? Yeah. Yeah. That's true. If it, if they had been at full strength or if this has been last year's

team, I can see where that would have felt worse, but I see that. And I'm like, you know, I, I don't know if Penn state can beat Iowa, then Penn state can beat Michigan. If you follow my, at Michigan is a little tougher. But yeah, I see what you're saying. It's a little bit tougher, obviously, but I didn't think Penn state was going to be able to beat Iowa the way they played the week before against Michigan state.

I thought that, you know, this may, maybe they just weren't that good. And, you know, they had Trisha Sorley going in and out of the game and they still managed to pull it out. And, you know, they were the one team that shredded Michigan's defense last year. And I don't know. It may be that Don Brown doesn't have whatever secret sauce he has with everybody else to stop them. So if Michigan can have a score a little more, I think that could be

interesting, but you know, that's, that's my thing. Like Ohio state, I have very little faith in them, but when the rest of the games, yeah, because they give up so many big plays on defense. Do you think urban's on the, not on the hot seat, obviously, but it is a trend now that Ohio state has these games where they should win them. And they don't even look ready. Like that's the weird part to me. That Purdue game, I think everyone kind of circled it like Purdue, they

started the season on three, but they were all close losses. Like, this is a talented team. It's a night game. There's a lot going on. And it seemed like Ohio state just wasn't even up for it. Yeah. And they have like one of those a year now, and it's really weird. So I thought it was interesting cause we spent all of August with Ohio

state family and fans telling us, how dare you attack urban monitor? He's the finest human being who ever lived. And as soon as that Purdue game ended, those same people are like, man, I don't think this is going to work out. Right, right. It's funny how that, funny how that happens. Yes. What's going on, man?

Yes. Oh, what about, I'm going to put another name out there real quick. Uh, we can actually, I want to stick with the, with the big 10. Any chance at all Northwestern can go into South Bend and win. Uh, well, no, that's not that Northwest. Yeah. Oh, is that Northwestern? Oh, even better.

Yeah. You get the high grass is like running through a cornfield. Yep. So yeah, I, I'm telling you, I think I think Northwestern might be able to be nerdy and I think Syracuse might be able to be nerdy in the Yankee stadium. So, and I was at nerdy name last week and Brian Kelly is very aware of, you know, for the last five away from home, some teams that maybe haven't played well at times, but it played great at other times and Syracuse has actually been

good most of the season. So I think there's a, there's definitely, you know, they're pretty on edge in Notre Dame. So I don't think they're going to go into, into any of those games sleepwalking or thinking it's going to be an easy win, but you look at all of them. I mean, Northwestern is so up and down, you catch them on an update. They can beat you. Florida State has good athletes.

Well, the way they've been playing, I don't think they stay, they just never know Syracuse may beat them. They just straight up beat them. Yeah. Syracuse is almost one person. Yeah. And they beat Clemson, although that was also the Trevor Lawrence got hurt in that game, but yeah, no, Syracuse has that Syracuse definitely, although

wouldn't you argue that Syracuse this year, especially, I feel like people, especially after they beat Florida State early when Florida State still maybe was something they beat NC State, uh, they almost beat Clemson. People don't look past Syracuse like they might have in the last couple of years. Oh no, nobody's going to be looking past them. And I think, I think that's the one Notre Dame is probably the most worried about. Yeah.

That's really best team left on Notre Dame schedule. And I, I imagine if they beat Notre Dame, Mike Francesa will then know who Dina Bay resists. Yes, that was great. Yeah. All right. Jumping down to the big 12 real quick. I guess Texas is not back or they're not as back as we thought they were.

Still waters, a tough place to play. Um, the Barry Sanders uniforms, they were never going to win. Just a night game and still water. That's like, it's like a different planet up there. So I'm going to throw that one out to win a, but, um, you think West Virginia and our guy, our Hank's best friend, Dan Holgerson, you think he's got a chance to get them to that championship game? I think there's a good chance to think when this Texas came because it, you

know, this is now they're all ticked because they're getting, they're getting pissed off, Texas. They're getting Tom Herman wants to fight somebody. Yeah. They would have preferred that they go and just rip Oklahoma State and then kind of get fat and happy and, and think, Oh, it's West Virginia. It's the team that Iowa State shut down, but that's, that's not going to be the case.

Texas is going to be kind of back against the wall at this point because this feels like an elimination game for the, the, the big 12 championship game. So I think, but I think West Virginia playing the way they did the other night. I mean, they just shredded Baylor and Texas. I mean, you look at what Texas did last night and the way that Oklahoma State just picked Texas apart in the passing game. These offenses have the same DNA, basically, you know, Dana Holgerson ran the onslaughts at Oklahoma State for a year and then basically Mike Gundy

hired guys to run the same thing. So if that worked, what Dana Holgerson does with Will Greer, by the way, instead of Taylor Cornelius, it's probably going to, it's probably going to work a little bit too. Now, West Virginia defense has got to help out though. Now they can't get themselves roped into a shootout. That's, that's non-starter for West Virginia. Bad news for Texas though, cause I just saw, it literally just came across my

Twitter feed that they are favored minus one and a half versus West Virginia. And if you're, if Texas is favored, they lose. If they're underdogs, they win. It's pretty simple. It's like something, something is wrong with Tom Herman's brain. He can't get it. He can't get the team up if, if they are favorite games in big games, you can highly ranked teams, take them every time.

Yeah. It's, it's the ones that, that they are, that they're just supposed to go win, that, that they got problems with. You know, it would be a great bowl game would be Holgerson against Leech. That's what I'm hoping for. Yeah. Well, they probably just, they probably stay in the same hotel suite. Yes.

They definitely would. Sure. Sure. Bed, sure. Bar tab. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly.

You know, one would be drinking Tito's and tea. Yep. The other would be a Red Bull. No, I think they will be Red Bull and Red Bull and Tito's. Yeah. Yeah. Um, what, let's, so let's talk about Mike Leech, because I, I didn't mean to just totally brush off the, the chances of washing, although they do have, yeah.

I mean, they have to play, they still have the apple cup, which, you know, and they have an rivalry game, but is there any way that they get, I mean, they'd have to go, they have to, they have to win out their schedule. Then they got to go win the pack 12 and then they probably have to hope for a couple of losses in the big 10 and the big, and the big 12. Because I'd imagine that the committee would not put in a pack 12 team over a big 10, one loss team or a big 12, one loss team. Yeah.

And, and I don't even know if they'd put a pack, a, a one loss pack, 12 champion over a one lost our game. Yeah. They have the slimmest of chances. It would take complete chaos everywhere else, right? Like two loss, big 10 champ, two loss, big 12 champ, maybe, maybe Clemson loses a game or something. They get the argument going, but it would take it.

Now, I think they could win the rest of their games. They, they've struggled with Washington since Peterson got there. Cause it, you know, that style doesn't seem to, to work against them. But I don't know the Washington is that good this year. And I think Washington state defense for the most part has been good enough. And so I think they could win the apple cup this year. And then they've already beaten Utah and it looks like right now, like Utah is going to be the team that wins the style.

Yeah. So, so what, what is your ultimate chaos situation right now? Like realistic chaos? Well, how, how messed up could the final four get? LSU beats Alabama because that brings a one loss Alabama that didn't win its division into play. Yeah. Which everybody, it makes everyone cry so much.

You know, that, that's the one thing last year that was so satisfying is watching everybody cry about Alabama making the playoff and then ignoring the fact that they just won the thing. Right. Oh, dummy. Yeah. But so it felt, if LSU beats Alabama, then you, so you got that scenario because then you got, you know, somebody's going to win the SEC, whether

it's LSU, Georgia or Kentucky, whoever, whoever that is. And then there's going to be Alabama there. And what do you do? Do you put Alabama in over the SEC champ? Do you put them both in? If two SEC teams got in again, it would. I think you got to go LSU, Alabama and Kentucky on the final four. Yeah.

Well, do you know what's going to happen? You know, you know what's going to happen. I've already looked, you have looked at the schedule. LSU, LSU, if LSU beats Alabama, they'll somehow lose the Texas A&M on Thanksgiving weekend. Oh, of course. Yeah. And then, and then it, so we'll all have the excitement. Yeah.

And then Alabama will be like, okay, just kidding. Now we get to kick the shit out of someone from the SEC, maybe even Kentucky. And then, uh, which Kentucky, let's talk about Kentucky real quick. Has there ever been a team with a horseshoe as I, and I love big blue nation. It's awesome that they're good, but man, they seem to win games in such like, like terrible, ugly ways. And they just have that kind of season going for them. See how soon everyone forgets the 2016 Florida Gators.

Yeah. Yeah. It's an SEC thing. That's true. You just win with like, just like great defense and terrible offense and a couple of college football plays here and there. Pretty much that's it. I mean, look at yesterday, they can't get in the end zone at all.

And then they drive the link to the field in like two minutes and win on an up time down with time expired. So that down is still actually going on. Yeah. Yeah. It does sum it up. It's their defense is awesome. They've got probably the second best Josh Allen to ever play college football.

Um, he's going to be like, wait, a top 10 pick, you think? Are you going to, can we get a draft Josh Allen campaign going again? It's already started. And then two years from now, there's a guy named Josh Allen. So we're just going to switch the O to an A. And it's draft Josh Allen. We've got, it's a franchise that we're getting into. We got the whole thing going.

Yeah. It's all planned out. Um, is Notre Dame going to wear those dipshit pinstripe things that they do at the stadium? Oh yeah. Yeah. That's, that's, so they're, they're wearing this, this hideous uniforms that are Yankees inspired.

Well, as a Duke fan, Hank's really excited for that. There will be a ball don't lie kind of thing going on on Syracuse wins. Yes. It will be punishment for the uniforms of Syracuse wins. Yeah. Do is Notre Dame. So if Notre Dame gets into the final four, actually, let me do this two ways. Give me your final four right now.

Uh, give me your Tuesday rankings, what you think they will be. Okay. So mine right now would be the final four. If I'm projecting it out at the end of the season would be Alabama, Notre Dame, Clemson in some order, two and three, and then Michigan. My, my top four now are Alabama, Notre Dame, Clemson, LSU, but I'm projecting obviously that Alabama beats LSU. So I, I think that's what it'll be when the rankings come out.

I think Notre Dame will be two instead of three, just because the committee's going to like their wins a little bit better. But I mean, there's no difference between two and three in the playoffs, except Jersey color. Oh, that matters. Oh, that matters. That matters. You just talked about the Barry Sanders uniforms.

That matters. Now, does no, we did, obviously if LSU's involved, they want to wear white. So yes, yes. So now we'll go ahead. Sorry. When Steve Spurrier coach Florida, he loved to just mess with that LSU. He'd be like, you know what, I don't think we're going to let you wear white when, when we go, because the visiting team has to approve the switch.

Uh-huh. Yeah. He's like, no, we like to wear our white jerseys in Baton Rouge. And so he would make them more like purple or yellow. That's awesome. And it just drove fans insane. Cause that's what Steve Spurrier like to do. Yeah.

So, all right. So with, with those final four, let's say Notre Dame does get in, is it a Notre Dame is real and they could maybe win this whole thing or similar to the number one Notre Dame or whatever it was, number two, when they lost to Alabama by a billion points a few years ago. I think they're better than that team. Mostly cause their defensive line is, is really good, but it feels right now with Clemson playing the way it has the last couple of weeks, like, like Alabama and

Clemson, now they're probably not equal, but they seem to be separated from everybody else. Like Clemson feels like the only team that could go toe to toe with Alabama. Yeah. And I'm not sure cause it, if you get Clemson when they hit kill mode, I don't think Notre Dame or Michigan or LSU would be able to hang with them. Yeah. Um, we could talk Heisman if you want, but I'd rather talk about who the best fullback in college football is cause we're doing a trophy for him this year.

Ben Mason, he's, yeah. He's number one on my watch list right now. I've created a watch list as of this very second. Um, so yeah, I like Mason. I like the guy from Texas A&M, uh, and obviously the dude from LSU that paints his face and this is Metallica because of the whole 12th man thing. Yeah. Or it is just like that's ideal.

And then the hair, you got a Mohawk guy and a, and a mullet guy. Yeah. It's, it's quite a battle going. Who else needs to be on that list right now? That's a good question. Who else has a fullback? LSU plays with a fullback, but I'm not sure I know who their fullback is. He's the guy with the, with the face paint, right?

That listens to Metallica. Is he still on the team? Yes. We can put him on there too. All right. Those are my top three right now. Wow. What a watch list.

I mean, Ben Mason has actually had a great season so far. Yeah. Um, all right. Well, Andy, thank you so much. Hopefully we see you. Maybe grab a beer when we see a Saturday night. Uh, thanks for coming on. Appreciate it.

And hopefully the Tigers win. I don't know how they're going to do it, but they got to win. Go Tigers. It's coach, listen, coach Joe, your guy, he knows more than people think. Yeah. Yes, he does. See, that's right. It took, it took me 25 minutes, but I finally got it out of you.

The coach. Oh, compliment. I need it. Thank you. No, you, you guys know that. Yeah. I listened to your hand. Yeah.

I mean, we, he knows all you have to do is meet the guy to realize this guy is very smart. Yes. Yes. And he could kick your ass. Anytime. Yeah. Every single time.

Number one in the coach kick your ass powering. Absolutely. All right. Thank you, Andy. Appreciate it. Thanks, man. All right. See you guys.

That interview was brought to you by Nadam. I just told Hank, I was about to read this ad and Hank said, do you guys have those? And I was like, yeah, I've got the Nadam sweater. And Hank goes, that's so F wording. Comfy. Right. Is that what he said? Was that your official testimony?

So fucking comfy. I didn't know if I was allowed to say that, but fuck that. They're very, very comfortable. They're cashmere sweaters. When you put them on, you feel like a bajillionaire. It is my first time owning a cashmere sweater and I'm hooked. I gotta tell you, it is awesome. Nadam makes it easy for guys like us to wear cashmere.

It's back. It's cool. Again, they flip the thousand year old cashmere industry on its head by going to the source, buying direct while lowering prices and improving quality. And now starting at only 75 bucks, you can get these super luxury cashmere hoodies and sweaters cashmere is an ultra soft super lux fabric that used to only be for your grandparents and parents who weren't drowning in student loans and debt. So they could own homes and buy expensive shit.

Well, guess what? The facts are the facts. I look like a bajillionaire when I wear it. I am basically axe from axe capital. I'm literally made of money in cashmere. Now it is, as Hank says, so fucking comfortable, big cashmere guys over here. The story behind the brand is pretty nuts. They got lost in the Gobi desert and realized they could buy cashmere from

groups of nomadic herding tribes. They came back a year later with two and a half million bucks in cash, 65 pounds of money and trucked 60 tons of cashmere out of the desert to launch Nadam. We are big fans of the product. We love the brand. Use promo code PMT for 10% off orders, $100 plus. They're doing what no other brand has been able to do, creating an affordable $75, 100% cashmere sweater.

So now we can afford to wear cashmere every day of the week. Even Hank, Hank loves his fucking sweater. It is super fucking comfy and he got it from Nadam. That interview was also brought to you by simply safe. If there's one thing I know, it's that you can never count out the underdog. Oh, trust me, I know that very, very, very, very well from today. I got absolutely brutalized by the box. Thanks.

No matter how big the odds, some people will surprise you. And that's one reason why I like simply safe home security today. Simply safe, they have amazing security system and it's winning all sorts of awards, but 10 years ago, simply safe was an underdog back then. If you wanted a security system, you had to go through these huge companies. They might made you sign expensive, long-term contracts with hidden fees for systems that were completely outdated. Well, that all changed when a young electrical engineer named Chad Lawrence

started designing simply safe first security system in his kitchen. He wanted to get rid of the long-term contracts and the hidden fees. He wanted to start a security company that treated people right. Maybe he could invent something for Tommy Lasorda. Simply safe. Get on that, install a little alarm on Tommy in case he starts to tip over. Flash forward to today, Wirecutter, PCMag and CNET all named simply safe. They're top choice for home security and over 2 million people trust the system

to keep them safe. Not bad for a security company started in a kitchen. Protect your home with simply safe today in support of part of my take by ordering your system at simply safe.com slash PMT. Let them know we sent you that simply safe.com slash PMT simply safe.com slash PMT be safe out there. I tossed that one in at the end. Yeah, I like that.

Be safe out there. Yeah, just let's throw it out. That's going to be my new goodbye to people, you know, instead of saying like, catch you later, which is also cool. Stay safe. Yeah. Hey, stay safe. Stay safe.

You never know. Yeah. Stay safe. I like to do in the winter, stay warm. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, it's really nice. Let people know, like, hey, stay warm out there. Mm hmm.

It's cold. It is the winter. Yeah, I'm looking out for you. Okay, let's do some segments. We put football guy the week on this side because we had so much to talk about on the beginning of the show. So we have football guy the week. Awesome.

Nominations this week. The first up, Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State. Let's put in the audio. Yeah, I'd give a rat's ass about Twitter. Mike Gundy does not care about Twitter. Anytime you do a, it's just so, it's so like grade school, but it always plays. Mike Gundy has made the career transformation in like a Benjamin Button way from getting, from saying, I'm a man to now he's like, I'm a second

grader. He also tried to fight Tom Herman. He did. Well, it was Tom Herman. Mike Gundy tried to go out and kind of just establish himself as an Alpha presence on the field, which he is. Mullet. Yeah.

And then Tom, then then Herman was like, I want to fight somebody, but I don't know who I'm supposed to be angry at. So I'm just going to go out and start flailing my arms. But yeah, yeah, Gundy had a great performance just all around this week. That, that game, by the way, when people think that it's a, it's a stick or gimmick when we talk about color rush jerseys or throwback jerseys, just watch Oklahoma State, Texas, watch that back. They had the Barry Sanders commemorative jerseys.

Barry Sanders was on the field. They looked so much faster and had so much more pep in their step. That's how you win football game. That's why you win big football games. You, you change up the jerseys, get everyone excited. Don't pay the players, put all that money into doing different jerseys every week. New helmets. Yeah.

New helmets, new cleats, maybe do a different font on the giant T boom pickings sign that's on the field. Give away, uh, free Jordans. And then if you sell it, you're suspended for life. Yeah. There is something different about still water. That's what, like going into this week, I was not confident at all in Texas. It's not back.

You go into still water at night and you might as well be going into hell. Yeah. This is a hell place. That's really weird. The sky is, no, I'm saying like the sky is darker in still water at night. That's a fact. Not, not an opinion. Yeah.

Neil deGrasse Tyson will back me up on this. They don't have, they don't have electricity. No. Middle of Oklahoma, you're staring up at the sky and it's like you're looking up Satan's dress. Heller high water. That's right. Great movie, great.

Very good movie. Yeah. Very good movie. Okay. Next up, uh, for football guy of the week, we have Mike Leach. So at halftime, usually there's an interview with one of the coaches. It was apparently Mike Leach's turn and he just started sprinting off the field and getting interviewed by, uh, whoever was doing sideline.

Jessamine McIntyre. Yeah. Who actually, she was really the football gal of the week because she stayed sprint like step-for-step with Mike Leach and I didn't know it was her. And that, that's hilarious because she was, she did a really good job of staying right on it, but Mike Leach just like, I'm getting out of here. Yeah. It's just, it's pretty hilarious for a college football coach to think that

they could outrun a sideline reporter because sideline reporters by and large are in pretty good shape and college football coaches, they just, they watch a film all day. Yes. So who, I don't think they really get, that's like their cardio is when they watch a bad play and their heart starts to beat a little. Okay. So as they win, Mike Leach wins, we'll get both of them on.

Yes. Yeah. Barry the hatchet. Yes. Then we have, uh, David Cutcliffe, the coach of Duke, who he's had a quote this week that offensive linemen are the greatest human beings in football and said that they're the greatest teammates because they don't have stats. The only stat they care about is the scoreboard and your team winning.

So he said, I wish more people could be like offensive linemen. That's his football guys. Yeah. And Duke is historically a great football program. So he's a good coach. He actually is a very good coach. He's the one that, for whatever reason, like whenever, Manning whisper, yes, exactly.

Whenever Peyton or Eli had, has like a down couple of weeks, they just go hang out and endure him for a week and then they get back on the right track. When, what, when, what he has down there that makes Eli and Peyton just improve so quickly. I'll tell you what he has. He has something that Archie Manning has done a really good job of hiding. Yeah. Something that doesn't show up in the stat sheets, but might in a piss test.

Interesting. Shows up on the scoreboard. It absolutely does. And, and to his point, full backs are like the rooties of offensive linemen. Full backs are cut from the same cloth. They just don't have the natural girth. They didn't get, they didn't grow to the right size. Yeah, exactly.

Like me, I would have been a great offensive lineman if I just had that. They're like buying anything. If I had whatever in the water. Many pit bull. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's great. Um, and then the last one was John Grud. You have the quote PFT.

I do. Yeah. This is an all time football guy quote from John Grud. Now I want to make sure that I get the sourcing right. This is, um, via the ringer, via playboy, via ESPN's page two. Via John Gruden, because he came out of his mouth. Via John Gruden. Uh, he said, I lost, I lost my virginity to the Notre Dame fight song.

And then they asked, wait, there was a band. And he said, no, not even music, but it was in my mind. I mean, that's actually very smart. That is, do like a, do the baseball stats. Try to last a little longer, fellas. That's probably why Sean McVeigh has every play memorized. Yeah. He'd probably, he's probably a dynamo in the sack.

Yeah, he is. He's going, that guy's like sting. Yeah. He's never come. Antrix sacks. But really he's just recalling that he did a shovel pass in like 2015 in, in Redskins practice. No, it's just, it's just on repeat of, uh, well for, for Gruden, it's just a

repeat of the tuck rule. Yes. So, yeah. Well, then he wouldn't get it hard. Then it just, well, it's a tough, soft. When it gets, when it gets hard, he tucks it. Yeah. That's what he thought of.

He's, he probably actually was listening to the song. So he probably put on like a set of headphones on his Walkman back in 1980. I was going to say, he probably was just in the stands at Notre Dame. And it was after like a touchdown in a game and he was just having sex. Yeah. He just misremembered all of it. No, it was just in my head. I'm just in a black hole.

Yeah. What do you guys think is never, what is that? He fucks forever. He has tantric sex. Yeah. So he's never come because he, because he studies the comma sutra well known for lovers manual for you. He will fuck, he will fuck you Hank.

Sting will fuck you for like 15 hours and not come. Mm hmm. And if there's something that I think about that, buddy, one thing I know about women is that they definitely all pleasure to definitely like having sex for 15 hours nonstop. Just, just slamming, just slamming uglies for 15 hours. The heights of pleasure that you will have never attained. That's what Sting would fuck you with.

Mm hmm. Okay. Think about it. Learn something new every day. I guess. There you go. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Hank knows something about fucking without coming.

You are Sting. You're a modern day Sting. Yeah. Congrats. Well, actually Sting is a modern day Sting because he's still alive, but you get what I'm saying. He's alive and fucking. He might, this might all be bullshit by Sting.

He might just have the best publicist. Yeah. And they're like, we're just going to spread the word. I thought you wrote a book about it. Anybody can write a book. Yeah. I'm going to write a book about fucking for 15 hours. Yeah.

She's like, how do you do it? You read this book. Yeah. You read this book and then everyone thinks you're a nerd. It's pictures of me. It's pictures of my shits. Yeah. It's a color book.

If somebody sees you reading a book, they're not going to fuck you. So you'll never come. Yeah, true. That's my guide. True. Tantric sex. Here, you want to fuck? I'm going to write a book.

Oh, it's actually just a barbell and a football. Yeah. Now you're going to fuck. OK. Vote for football guy of the week at part of my take. We're on a hot streak. We've gotten a bunch of football guys on. So I actually, John Gruden, we're not going to get on.

We're probably not going to get on. I did text him. So when this story came out, I texted John Gruden not to brag about his phone number. Yeah, you do. And I said, can you confirm? That's actually my phone number. And he didn't reply.

So kind of a fuck. Has he ever replied to you? Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes. Last time, I think I texted him asking if they were going to trade for some wide receiver. Maybe even more Davis Bryant. And I was like, do not reply if you can confirm this.

Yeah. And then he didn't reply. And he's got read receipts on, which rookie move, John. I know you're seeing my text. Nice, nice. OK. So vote for our football guy of the week at part of my take. We treated out around 11, noon, I don't know.

So we have two more segments. The first up, Trouble in Paradise. I actually don't even know. This is full blown like crisis mode in Paradise, Cleveland. Tyloo has been fired. He is the coach who took, who went to the finals last year. He's a coach who won a championship a couple of years ago. Fired.

Yeah. Six games in because contrary to popular belief, contrary to what Tristan Thompson told us, the Cavs are not the team to beat in the East. It's really sad because they only got six lessons learned this year from those losses. So they had so much more to learn. OK, I have a question for you.

Would you want to be, would you want to have Tyloo's coaching resume? Because it feels like I don't know if he'll ever get another job. Banners are forever. He was LeBron's little, like LeBron just basically hires guys who won't yell at LeBron. And would you want that?

Million percent yes. Because now Tyloo is known more for being LeBron James a little like Toti than he is for getting stepped over by Allen Iverson. True. Hmm? I would say who do you think? I would say for this generation, they say that.

Yeah. What do you think? AI. Yeah, no. That is, I mean that. People were recreating that picture for Halloween this year. It was unbelievable. It was unbelievable.

It's just so petty. Yeah. I don't think he can do. I don't think there's anything he can do. I don't think there's any amount of championships he can win. It takes this thing off a little bit. Getting fired six games into a season

takes this thing off that a little bit. Yeah, he at least gets to move out of Cleveland this winter. Exactly. So I mean, and also I think LeBron said, I'll do anything to help you out. So he's probably going to go out to LA and be the guy that replaces the water in LeVar Ball's dish wherever he's chained up.

Yeah. OK, so Tyloo gone. Many people are asking, did Sam Ducker get him fired? No one's asking that. OK, I just did. Yeah. The answer is, it's a firm no. Yeah.

No, we love Sam. But we should actually have him on and ask him. Cleveland, the coaching job in Cleveland. Yes. Who is going to fill that? Hugh Jackson. Yeah, Hugh Jackson can do it. Switch him over.

He will have at least as good a record as Tyloo did for half the price. Wait, now maybe that's a solution, because they don't want Hugh Jackson making any personnel decisions. They don't want him making any coaching decisions. So what if they just give him something else to do, keep him distracted, and maybe that

will unlock the 99% of Hugh Jackson's brain that he's not using? Yeah, I guess so. You could just say, hey, you're a basketball coach. They've tried getting a baseball guy in the front office. Why not try with Hugh? Why not try? Let's just cut out the middleman and go with Hugh's boss,

the homeless guy that told Jimmy Haslam to draft Johnny Manziel. Yeah, I like that. Random homeless dude coaching the cabs. You coach him. Yeah, I don't know. Who is the coach right now? It is Larry Drew, but the cabs are such a shithoe.

He hasn't agreed to take the full interim coach. Like, he's like, I'll be the interim coach for now, but just so you know, I'm not agreeing to be the interim coach for the whole season. That should be the official job title of coach at the Cleveland Cavaliers. You should just be interim head coach. He hasn't agreed to take interim head coach title

with Cleveland, but will continue as voice of head coach as team. Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking? What does that mean? He's a voice. I mean, she's like, I'll do it, but I don't really want to do it. Right, because that'll get fired eventually. That guy just speaks in comic sans.

Do you guys think what I'm thinking? Probably not, because it's a crazy idea. Player coach, Sam Decker. J.R. Smith. Yeah. J.R. Smith player coach. That's why I never understand why franchises don't like, your season is not going to go well.

Sam Decker aside, he's going to be a monster, but your season is probably not going to go well. Why not sell tickets? Why not get buzz J.R. Smith player coach and watch how many times he forgets to put like more than three people in the game. He's not going to sweat through his shirt. Right.

We know that. It would be so awesome if you did it and just ran every play for J.R. J.R. Smith throws up 25, three pointers a game. Yeah. It would be like when you're playing NBA Jam back in the day and you shoot from half quarter. Yeah, you just keep passing yourself.

Yeah. Right. I like that. I am in full support of player coach J.R. Smith. J.R. Smith player coach. Get it trending. Do it. Petty Worf.

NBA Twitter, you got this. Yeah. Do it for us. You guys are the best. Yeah. We love you. We always do. OK, last up we have in defense of Joe Buck.

Joe Buck has been our TV's a lot recently. And he's also been getting a lot of criticism for the ads that have been seamlessly put into all the broadcasts. That's not his fault, though. OK. Like he gets told to put those ads in. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I actually have a question for you. OK. That's a Seekik question. So you can go to Seekik in our promo code TAKE and get $10 off a ticket to a game that Joe Buck is probably going to be announcing because he announces every game. Yep.

Do you think that Joe Buck is the best announcer of the last 30 years? Yes. I think Joe Buck, although he's getting so much credit now and he's a friend of ours, like genuinely I like Joe Buck a lot. But I think people are liking Joe Buck too much that we need to, as a podcast, turn on him.

Yeah, here's what's going to happen. People are starting to get, I can sense like, you know how back in the old West movies, a guy would put their head down on the railroad spikes and they'd hear a train that's like five miles away? Classic. That's what I'm doing right now. Yep.

Joe Buck, the takes out there are all, actually, Joe Buck is better than you think he is. Yeah, throw your Joe Buck sucks take out the window. Which is true. But, however, Stephen A. Smith voice, the saturation of those takes, there's going to be a flip to it soon. So we got to get out in front of it.

And we got to have a pre-flip. You know what? We're going to have him on the next few weeks and we're going to explain it to him like, listen, man, this has been fun, but we got to hate you now. I hate him because he works too much. I hate him because his head's always big when I take a picture of the TV.

I hate him because I fell asleep off and on to like the 13th. He wasn't good enough in the 14th inning of the Dodgers Red by the way, credit to John Smoltz and Joe Buck for that. Like that was incredible. And he had an awesome call in the 18th. I would have been asleep. I would have been half asleep and not been able to do it. He was, boom, ready to go.

Listen, Joe Buck hates every team exactly equally. Yes. He's good at what he does. And we like him. But guess what, Joe? Fuck off. Time's up, bitch. Time's up.

OK, that's our show. Time's up. We'll see everyone Wednesday. We got a big guest PFT. You want to do a quick hint? Well, it's not you. It's not you. It's not you.

Head body, head body, head body. All right, we love you guys, except for you, Joe Buck. I'm going to tell you a story. I'm going to tell you about my town. I'm going to tell you a big, fat story, baby. I'll tell you about my town. Yeah, tell me. Tell me.

Take me on. Oh, that's what's happening, baby. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me.

Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me to understand or, baby. Amiga.

Amiga is the longest unut you'll want to be. But I love that dirty water. It's part of my tape presenting my balls to swoops. I don't know where I'm from, but I don't know where I'm from, but I don't know where I'm from, but I don't know where I'm from, but I don't know where I'm from, but I don't know where I'm from, but I don't know where I'm from, but I don't know where I'm from, but I don't know where I'm from, but I don't know where I'm from, but I don't know where I'm from, but I don't know where I'm from, but I don't know where I'm from, but I don't know where I'm from, but I don't know where I'm from, but I don't know where I'm from, but I don't know where I'm from, but I don't know where I'm from, but I don't know where I'm from, but I don't know where I'm from, but I don't know where I'm from, but I don't know where I'm from, but I don't know where I'm from, but I love that dirty water