Pardon My Take - Ricky Williams + NFL Week 16 Recap

Episode Date: December 24, 2018

NFL Week 16 fastest 2 minutes (2:28 - 8:35). Blake Bortles is back (sort of), the playoff picture is getting clearer, the Ravens dominated the weekend, Baker still hates Hue Jackson, the Steelers collapsed in New Orleans, and we have a win and in game for Week 17 (8:35 - 32:29). Who's back of the week where we discuss all our New Years Resolutions including PFT wanting to try gas station supplements and Big Cat's desire to do an ollie (32:39 - 45:42). Ricky Williams joins the show to talk about his new Football league, his career in the NFL, and whether or not he considers his football life a success or failure (45:42 - 80:11). Segments include Mike Tomlin says some things, new segment Relatable Rovell, Kings stay Kings Marvin Lewis, and Monday Readings "I can't stop kissing the father of the family I babysit for" You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, we have week 16 recap fastest two minutes, our last regular season one of the year because we will be off next week. We also have our great interview with Ricky Williams in studio and because it is Monday, We have Monday readings plus because it is close to New Year's, we're going to do our New Year's resolutions live on air.

We have all of that coming to you in just a minute before we do that, though. Cash App. Cash App. Cash App. Cash App. Cash App. Cash App. Cash App.

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send, send, send, spend, spend, spend, save, save, save, cash app, cash card, app store, Google Play Store, cash app. Let's go. Bye! Bye! And then I can't live all on the sun. Oh, no. We're gonna rock down to electric revenue. And then we're taking higher. Oh, we're gonna rock down to electric revenue. It's part and my take presented by BobSchoolSchools. Welcome to part and my take presented by C-Geek. Today is Monday, December 24th, week 16. Let me be the first to say Merry Christmas.

We're saying it again. We're saying it again. We start in Ohio where Baker Mayfield asks, accuse your daddy to his former coach Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack Jack Jackson. Jarvis Dirty Landry took the Bengal secondary to the cleaners with a long pass and jolly old, Saint Nicholas Chubb asks Brown's fans, is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just excited to have a competitive football team? In a touching tribute to their offensive line coach, the Browns gave Bob Wiley the game ball, the first big skin he didn't try to deep fry and eat. We're sorry, President Trump, but we've received word that Greg Williams has already declined the written offer to become the next Secretary of Defense. Brown's 26, Bengals 18. In Detroit, where Kyle ruled off the Red Dose Reindeer, hauled in six Poitsettias in

the Hail Mary Christmas in the first half. In the air, there's a feeling of Christmas, but unfortunately, the fat bearded man on the lion's sideline has had a very naughty year as all that crap light in his pencil has turned into a lump of coal. Calvin cooked up a nice Christmas CJ ham, delivering a facial, leaning lion's fans looking like they just got honey glazed. The Vikings are now one win away from the playoffs, and as my good friend Shaquille O'Neal famously once said, can you step on duty?

Vikings 27, Lions 9. In the battle of stupid quarterback faces, Andrew Luck and Eli Manning had a good old fashioned shootout. The Giants, dum-dum, tried to sterling Shepherd in the new year, with 113 yards to his wide receiver, while the Colts mouth-breather roasted chestnuts rogers on an open fire, hooking up with his wide out for a score. This holiday season, please remember, don't drink before driving your Jim Ur slay, or Toyota Highlander, if that's your automobile of choice.

Colts 28, Giants 27. What? A New York football Giants, a New York football Giants, down to Carolina, where Christian McCaffrey pulled a reverse Adrian Peterson and beat his dad. In terms of receptions in the season, that is, Taylor Swift, Heineke, couldn't shake it off, shake it off, when he came to an arm injury, and Eric Reed got burned all afternoon, ensuring he won't be receiving another random PED test. Verbal meme teach, Calvin and Hobbs Ridley pissing on a Panthers logo on the back of

an Alex Maktra. And we go to the monitor for a highlight, as Kenyan Bonner returns upon, and what? When Mac Bosher comes running out of the field, and Kenyan Bonner, you got jacked up! The glory days, when head injuries were still funny, Falcons 24, Panthers tight. I remember those days just like they were yesterday, I don't, I don't remember any of the days. To Philadelphia, where St. Nicholas falls in his giant U-Log, trying to deliver Eagles fans a playoff berth, and Chris Kringle Long had two big Santa Saxons his own.

In the fourth quarter, down a score, Houston fans ask the Texans, do you really want to hurts me? Do you really want to lose this by? And as always, the answer was yes, as Jake Elliott's statement delivered Law and Order as time expired. Darren Revelle's scrolls estimates that 95% of Philadelphians will be using Crisco brand lard to grease up their chimneys, reminding everyone that good things come in small packages. Eagles 32, Texans 30.

In New England, where the Bells meet the stumbling, bumbling Patriots, the first rule of defense is hand down, Edelman down, but he wasn't as Julian bounced off so many butts, they're starting to call him Peter North South. Speaking of butts, Sony Michelle Obama took away all the Bill's Buffalo Wings and replaced it with a disgusting launch of yards and pellet checks and balances. Tom Brady absolutely lit up the scoreboard and has every bit the quarterback he's ever been. Combining with Stud Rob Brunkowski for zero catches, zero yards, and zero touchdowns.

And it was Josh Allen's fourth quarter drive that reminded us all that no one covers the spread with a meaningless touchdown like the Buffalo Bill. Patriots 24, those 12. Standing on the corner, James Winston Tampa, Florida, is such a fine sight to see. It's Jerry Jones, my lord, that Johnny Walker's been poured, filling up a pair of shoes in the sea. When the beat, the Cowboys are back into the playoffs and Skip is geek. Cowboys 27, buck zero.

In New Orleans where two lives drew, said, oh, me so horny, as the Saints tried to wrap up that one seed, Mike Tomlin had the worst fate since the last time you tried to make a woman orgasm. Yes, we're talking to you right now. And the juju doll had Steelers fans asking, why don't you slide? Hey, boom, Mark Ingram broke Deuce's Kevin McAllister's record and the Saints are going to be dome alone defending their house all winter long. That's a good one, Teague.

There's not enough terrible towels on Bourbon Street to clean up Pittsburgh's mess after this one. Yins are going to take that playoff spot, Stellar's. Nah, give it to the Ravens, take 31, and Stellar's 28. In Arizona where the Rams and Cornels match up, and Robert Frost stopping by Woods on the snowy evening at a big game with 89 yards and a score, while C.J. Brady Anderson had a suspiciously great day running the football. This could be it for Steve Wilcox-Wilts, as it's looking more and more like he's going

to be bounced from the show, as Aaron Donald Trump says, you fly it. You fly it. Rams 31, Cornels night. We finish in Seattle Sunday night football, Seahawks and cheese, and of course the electrifying young quarterback Patrick Mahomes. Let's take it to Patrick Patrick. Holy pockets, it's loud in there. For most of the game, I was like, dang, come on buddy, it's neat to see the fans screaming.

Here's a fun fact, I just learned tonight, Russell Wilson used to play baseball just like me. Can you believe it? I love learning new duck and new nuggets like that one, and Chris Collins worked as full of all those goodies. Colts going to be great, it's going to be great treats, it's going to be Christmas with my cool family, but I got a little bonus chair, we had a special visitor in the locker room. This game is pretty good, cookies and milk, we're in a giant red suit, I thought it was

Santa Claus, but it was just co-trade, I said, heck, that's even better, I love that guy. All right, week 16 in the books. We are here, we are live for you, I want to actually start it with a quote, PFT, you ready for it? Yeah, hit me. Jaguar's wide receiver, Dee Dee Westbrook, on what quarterback Blake Bortle said when he entered the huddle to replace Cody Kessler.

Let's go boys, I'm back. I love it. Now he wasn't only back for like a couple of plays, but whew, well he was back and then he was out, then he was back again. And Scott Hansen misappropriated a sack to Blake Bortles and I almost, I almost canceled my red zone. Yeah, come on, Blake doesn't take that sack. Yeah, no, he does not take that sack.

He does not. And you know what, this is something that we can build on. Yes. Like Blake coming in the last two weeks. Getting the boys fired up. Getting more tape out there. Your tape's your resume in the NFL and now we're going to have some good stuff to work on.

Yes. So we are back, here's a quick programming note. So it is holiday, it is a holiday week. We are doing this show right now. We have a best of coming on Thursday for the people. It's very long, so you can maybe eat a little bit of it on Thursday, maybe do a little Monday, do a little Friday. We have two new interviews coming in the best of, never before heard interviews in the best

of, as well as all the best of and our week 17 preview. So that is the schedule for the week. Then we don't have anything on Monday and then we'll be back January 2nd. Yep. Now we're ready to talk about NFL week 16, a wild week 16. Everything's slowly coming into picture here. This studio right now is the situation room. We've got, we've got every situation under control.

I've got the playoff machine fired up, going full tilt. This thing's going nuts off. Yeah. I broke the playoff machine. We actually, we have the problem with the playoff machine is it's a classic case of mind versus computer because I asked you to run some simulators. Yeah. Basically the last four hours of our day have just been me saying, Hey PFT, what happened

happens if this happens, if this happens? But I got smarter than the computer and I was like, no, the computer's wrong. And we looked into it and it was, it was wrong. Skynet really fucked up and we were trying to calculate like how the Steelers could get in over the Ravens with the different matchups we're going to be like. The bottom line is it's looking like there, there are like two different scenarios that are likely to play out right in the AFC besides that, like if I were you, I would be focused more on who you're going to play as like, as the bears in the first round.

Right. So that's a case of will team sit players, will teams, you know, the bears are going to be playing for possibly the second seed. If the Rams somehow lose the 49ers unlikely, but that is, that is on the table. So let's actually start with the AFC because I want to like say our team of the weekend has to be the Ravens. What they did on Saturday night, going to San Diego and beating Phil Rivers and a super hot chargers team by playing like 1940s offense is unbelievable.

They, they, they're just, they do bully ball. They do. They just kick the shit out of you. Every single announcer keeps saying like this isn't going to last. This can't last. It's just like, it's blowing their minds. They're just looking at, you know what it's like, it's the trick birthday candle where you keep blowing out.

You're like, okay, surely this candle is extinguished by now and no Lamar Jackson, when he runs that little read option, it's, someone's going to be able, like if he makes the right decision, running that read option, either he's going to have, you know, a seven yard gain or a, which ever one of their three running backs is going to have one up the middle. Right. And what Lamar Jackson does is he just lulls you to death because I feel like at all game it's four or five yards here, there, like picking his spots and then he'll get one. He had one where it's like, oh, he cut out and he's gone.

Yeah. I mean, that's all he does. Let's not discount Joe Flacco looming on the sidelines too because you have to prepare for that too. Yes. Like what if Lamar gets, see NFL teams are so focused on the fact that you can't run this Mickey Mouse offense that they're like, maybe Lamar is going to get hurt this game.

And so we always have to be ready for Flacco to come in and throw for 190 yards and get seven pass interference calls. Yes. And just a little side shout out that really means nothing, but I really love the attention to detail. Lamar Jackson's purple, uh, mouth guard. Yeah. I love it.

I like that. I like you really love this team. I like Mark Ingram's little, it's almost like the wax vampire teeth, cold mouth guard that he wears too. Yeah. It's, it's a nice touch by Lamar Jackson. Um, I, I still like the chargers. I'm not, I'm not selling.

If we're doing stocks in our situation room, I know it's been a bad week for the market. I'm still hanging on to my charger stock is going to turn around just like Bitcoin. I completely agree. That was a nightmare matchup for the chargers. Now if they have to play the Ravens again, I think it will happen the exact same way because the chargers, they have like a decent defense, but they're not the biggest guys. They're built to get to the quarterback and the, and the Ravens just basically bullied them and their Ravens defense is a fantastic defense there.

And Phil Rivers, I think he probably lost the MVP battle. He might have on that night. He might have. I noticed that, um, I don't know why it took me so long to pick up on Kenan Allen shirts that he wears underneath. Oh yeah. He wears the baggiest undershirts. My theory is he's working with like a Mr. Rogers thing where he's got Marine sniper

tattoos that he's covering up or something. Kevin Durant. Yeah. But, but I really think that like their wide receivers as a group are as good as any other group in the NFL. I don't know what happened to them. Like the Ravens just ran. It's a matchup.

It's a matchup nightmare. They're going to have, and if it happens again, which I don't know, we'll have to crunch the numbers, but yeah, hang on. So the Ravens are, I broke the playoff. Ravens are winning. Get in the Steelers need the Ravens to lose. And then the ultimate chaos picture that we'd love to see is for the Colts and the Titans to play on Sunday night football and tie and have the Steelers get in on a tie.

And we also had in the AFC, the Texans have lost the buy. What a shame. Really was rooting for them. They haven't officially lost it. They could still get it if the Patriots lose and the Texans win, but. So the Patriots are playing the Jets, right? Jets, yes. It sucks.

It sucks ass that the Patriots get to play two AFC East teams at the end of every single fucking season. And it's always the Bills and the Jets. What doesn't really matter. In their last two. Yeah. But I mean, the Dolphins, at least if it's in Miami, they could lose that game. Yeah.

But they get to play the Bills and the Jets to close out their season. It feels like every year. So even if another team is like close to beating them or catching them in the standings, it's like, it's not going to happen. The AFC East has consistently sucked worse than any division in any sport in the history of balls. Okay. Ever since a ball was invented, no team has had it easier than the Patriots.

So more Super Bowl winning teams have come out of the AFC East than pretty much every other division in the last like 10 years. Oh, that's great. Okay. Hank, point taken. Okay. So I was going to wait through the stats today. Hank, you're going to have to recuse yourself from the room while I give these stats.

Because they are ridiculous. And Hank, seriously, don't, don't even say anything. I have a bunch of stats today, but we'll start with the AFC East stats of the day. The Patriots have 10 straight AFC East championships, 10 straight. That's insane. They have 16 straight seasons with double digit wins. In that time, the entire rest of the AFC East has less than half of that. The Jets have four double digit wins seasons.

The Dolphins have three. The Bills have zero. And I'll bet all those same. I'll bet you all those other double digit wins seasons are like 10 and six. Yeah. Pretty much. They're all just barely. There's not like a 12 and four, 13 and three mixed in there.

God damn it. All right. So the other stats of the day, the NFC East, on the opposite side of the spectrum, hasn't had a repeat champion since 2004. Yeah. They beat each other up. It's insane. It's the NFC beast.

It's insane. Yes. That's exactly what it is. My other stats of the day, the Browns under Hugh Jackson this season have two wins. The Browns versus Hugh Jackson this season have two wins. Hugh Jackson. I'm still mad. Yeah.

I'm still mad about this. Baker Mayfield staring down Hugh Jackson was so, so much. He doesn't know what you're talking about. You made that up. What do you mean? He said after the game, Hugh Jackson or Baker Mayfield was like, I don't know what you're talking about. I love it.

I love that even more. I love it even more. No. I think that Baker Mayfield's level of hatred, he has people in two camps. He either rides or dies with you or if he hates you, he just doesn't even. You don't, you cease to exist to bake. When people say like you're dead to me, Baker actually like thinks you're a ghost and he can just stare right through you.

So I believe in his mind, he was looking at an empty space where Hugh Jackson's body was occupying. It was just looking. It was just looking through it. Directly through it. All right. So Baker, if you're listening to this right now, don't do anything if you were very, very close to doing a Kansas nut grab right in Hugh's face because I know I could feel it.

I could feel it in his arm. He wanted to grab his dick and just be like, suck on this Hugh. He wanted to DX him. You want to hit him with the X pox? Yes. He did do the big balls dance. The Sam Cassell big balls. So the Browns, another where he flopped it out.

Yeah. He, yeah. He's, he's unfurled his balls. So the Browns are, were eliminated on Saturday night with the Ravens victory. I'm going to choose to ignore that still a pretty incredible season. The fact that they fired their coach and almost made the play. Well, they didn't almost make the playoffs, but they were, they finished strong and they will now be our Regis Philbin team to make some noise next year.

That's right. Everyone will pick them. Here's another fun stat. You ready for this one? Yes. No one, no quarterback has ever beaten Tom Brady and Drew Brees back to back. Whoa. Ever.

Oh yeah. We, we, we talked about that last week. Yeah. Big Ben had a shot at it. That's crazy. And he couldn't pull it out. I feel like that probably hasn't happened a lot. Yeah.

It really doesn't happen like ever. Ever. It's you. It's actually just big Ben. It's like the third time it's ever happened. Yeah. Yeah. Um, we also have a crazy stat of the day.

Josh Rosen stat line. 12 for 23 87 yards. I fucking love him. Yeah. It's 12, 12 for 23 for 87 yards. Maybe he's left handed. He doesn't know yet. The whole thing is crazy.

Um, so I also wanted to throw down a couple, couple other thoughts your way. So juju Smith Schuster does the very elegant thing, the gallant thing of saying I'm going to play for my fantasy owners, even though I might be hurt, has an enormous game and then an insanely costly fumble that probably ended the Steelers season when he was like basically down and just falling on people and what the ball goes out. They grabbed it right out. That was, that was a tough look for him. So now juju said a very dangerous precedent by, by issuing that statement before the game.

Now I expect a full page ad in every single major city in America apologizing to his fantasy owners. Someone tweet us, uh, the, if you have juju and you lost by a point on that fumble. Yeah. Someone had to. That would be rough. But juju seems like the type of guy he like gets it. So he'll go to that guy's house and play him in matting or something in the off season.

And also Todd Gurley continues his route, his, his career path as being the ultimate fantasy shithead. Yes. Because you didn't even play today. Didn't even play today. Didn't even play today. He's staying home milking his cats. Similar to Tom Brady, who didn't even play today on the stat sheets.

Yeah. I think he had zero fantasy points. He had actually, yeah. He had, I think, depending on if you had decimal scoring, he had like 0.5. Oh, Gronkh had zero. That's tough. Gronkh had zero.

They are. Hank, Hank was actually very, very woke on this. I came in and I was busting his balls about Gronkh. Cause that's actually, Oh, I missed that. Like that's our, that's our pattern that we do here. We come into the, into the office at about like 5 30. We make fun of Hank for Rob Gronkowski, then we order Chinese food.

And I was like, And squash the beef like men. Yeah. We do. And so I asked Hank about it. And he was like this, I think that it's a major stay woke that the greatest trick Bill Belichick ever pulled was convincing the world that Rob Gronkowski was unhealthy this year.

So he's just been playing possum. I like that. This whole year. You've been, I, like I said, you've graduated to PhD level of spin zones recently this last couple of weeks. Do you have one actually for, uh, didn't the Celtics have like a team meeting, a players only meeting? Yeah.

And they won December. It's a little early in their season. They'll be doing that. Who's on your leadership council, Hank? Yeah. You, you probably want to get one of those. Yeah. If you want to, if you want to do it right, you got to get half the team to report to

the coach who also does pushups and practice and chokes people out and fights. Yep. Very, very true. I don't want to go totally sideways with Jim Boilentock, but he actually, we predicted that he was going to like start calling fullback dives. He actually said Chris Dunn had great, uh, uh, presence or pocket poise in the pocket. He's just after a game. He's just using.

He's coaching a football team playing basketball. Speaking of crossing over sports, uh, we just got done watching the Sunday night football game, which was a fun, fun game because the overhead, because the overhead hit so big. There's nothing better in the world than Sunday night over is amazing Sunday night football overs. If you could just do that every single week, like it's the greatest feeling in the world because everyone in the world is down and everyone in the world is like, you know what, I'm just going to bet the over.

And when it actually happens, it's just ecstasy. Yeah. It's America coming together as one rooting for points. Right. It doesn't happen that much. No, it doesn't. America is, is just like pulling for the same team. Yes.

So I'm glad that it was able to hit. But then, uh, we were treated to probably, I did, I did some back in the napkin math. I think it was like 18 mentions of Patrick Mahomes and Russell Wilson in baseball players. Yes. Patrick Mahomes, bad fundamentals. Bet. Yeah. He can talk to the guy.

I'll be the guy to say it. Those fundamentals, when he's like 38 years old, those won't hold up. Those will not hold up. The league is going to catch up to Patrick Mahomes throwing sidearm. When he, 20 years from now, when his athleticism starts to dip, you can't rely on like, you know, bending, contorting your body and running sideways and throwing sidearm passes. You just can't. So I have my, I have my doubts.

Let's just throw that off. Also, the muscle imbalance between his right and left shoulder, if he throws too many more passes left-handed, he's going to tear that thing up. He doesn't work that thing out as much as he does his right. Dude, I'm telling you, he might get, he might get Tommy John. Injury problem. He throws a bunch of submarine passes. I, listen, he's obviously, I'm tongue in cheek here because he's insane.

And he is, would you say that Patrick Mahomes is the most fun player to watch in the NFL? Are you going tongue in cheek or are you going dick in cheek because you're sucking them off pretty good right now? Oh, there we go. No, what did you say? He's, he is the, if I don't care what teams are playing, if the chiefs are playing, I have an option to watch that game. I'm watching that game.

Right. Every single time. Yeah. And Russell Wilson is pretty close up there as well. Yeah. When Russell Wilson gets going, Chris Collinsworth basically put him in the MVP talk just from tonight's performance. You know what I love?

He threw 75 yards for 75 yards two weeks ago. I love how like every single pass over 30 yards that Russell Wilson throws has the same trajectory of like an Aaron Rodgers, Hail Mary. Yeah. It drops straight down. It's a rainbow. He's letting God touch it before it gets to his receiver. Just scraping it with God.

Yeah. There's a little bit of God on every single pass, but I was wondering what sport, if you were to take athletes from all major sports in America and put them in a different sport, what sport would be the best at another sport? Lebron soccer. Lebron soccer. But all athletes. What do you mean?

So you could say NBA players would dominate soccer. Got it. Would be the best at soccer. I think NBA players playing football. All the way around. Most basketball players have ever played football. No, but I'm saying no, no basketball players play football. But if you're saying like, are you saying they played the sport or are you just throwing

them out there? Because I think most NBA players could probably play wide receiver or tight end. Yeah. That would be my answer. I know I was joking about Antonio Gates and Jimmy Graham and all that. I think that's probably true. Was that was this whole question just for an Antonio Gates joke? No, no, no.

I was, I was actually asking like besides that, probably that probably I would say because the baseball is so difficult without hockey players boxing. Hockey players boxing would be okay. Although they're, I feel like they golf hockey triggered hockey guys. But I mean, when you can't grab on to someone's, you know, sweater, sweater, probably a little harder. You're probably throwing some slow punches when you're talking about hand speed. Yeah.

It's a lot tougher to beat up a guy when he's not slipping on ice on frozen water. Exactly. Exactly. What about lacrosse guys playing, no, hockey players playing golf actually. That's all that's all they do is play golf. Yeah. Not anymore. He'd have fallen off a cliff like Tiger Woods.

Yeah. That's true. Should we do a done chain, even though it's week 16? Sure. I feel like we should done chain the Steelers. Okay. Yeah. Stillers.

That was tough. I don't think the Ravens are going to lose to the Browns and they had, we're going to get to it with our Mike Tomlin segment, but they had all the chances in the world. They, all they had to do is beat the Raiders and they should have actually, I feel like they should have won the game against the Saints. There was that kind of suspect, you know. Sus? Yeah.

A little sus flag thrown in the fourth quarter. There are a couple of sus flags in that game. A few sus, but the Steelers, I think you're done. I think they're done too. Mike Tomlin might be done chain too. Oh yeah. So here's the thing about Mike Tomlin. This is his less miles season.

You can be a shitty coach that makes bad decisions, but gets lucky and you'll be fine. But the second your luck runs out. Then everyone realizes how shitty you are. And so in the last like four games, they've had all these, all their luck has gone away. They've been on the receiving end. Well they had a bunch in the Patriots game. Yeah. They've been on the receiving end of a lot of bad bounces recently.

Yeah. Like out in Oakland, they had some like bad luck. The X-ray machine broke. The X-ray machine broke. Big Ben got lost in the hallway. Yeah. That's bad luck. That's unlucky stuff that you can't prepare for.

Very bad luck. But this week it was like, okay, your luck's totally gone. I don't know. I feel like this might be the end for Tomlin. It could be. I also feel like someone, some shitty team would grab up Mike Tomlin just because he still has that like Steelers. Oh, he's got a Super Bowl.

Stink about him. Yeah. His names are actually, you know, you know where he'd go. Packers. Yeah. They need a mic. That's true. They need to keep the mic legacy going.

They would, the Packers would grab him in a second. That's very true. One other rumor that I saw out there today, we don't talk about another man's job. That's number one. Yeah. Especially not a top 10 coach's job. Yes. But Jim Harbaugh has been rumored to go to the Jets.

Ooh. So you're saying God bowls is done. No, I'm not saying that. Okay. I would never say that about another man's job. I think. I'm saying other people are saying that. Okay.

So I think Jim Harbaugh is going to go back to the NFL eventually. I think he's going to give it one shot at trying to beat Ryan Day. Like, is this guy, is this guy just urban? To feel him out? Is he still urban? Is it urban junior? Yeah. Is he going to kick the shit out of me?

All right. If he is, I'm out of here. And I feel like if he beats him once, he'll just stay in Michigan for forever. Yeah. I got him. I got him. Yeah. I own this guy.

Although I would like to see a reality show of Jim Harbaugh like trying to settle in in New York City and like figure out the subway system. Ooh. No. No. He would not be, not be a fan of that. He would not be happy. I mean, we'd probably have to live with him.

Yeah. Well, it'd be him and Blake and us. And just like all eight of his kids. Yeah. Just hang out and just do the thing. All right. So we have Dunchain Steelers. So the playoff picture, oh, we should probably mention Nick Folds is the greatest quarterback

of all time. I think that's fair. True. Fort. What do you have? Four touchdowns today. He was amazing. He was incredible.

And with all that said, the Eagles probably still won't make the playoffs. And I say that just because I don't know if the Bears are going to start all their starters against the Vikings week 17 Vikings win therein. The Eagles need the Vikings to lose to have a chance to go to the playoffs. Listen, I respect the shield. I respect commissioner Goodell and all his decisions, but I have a gripe with it. Okay. I respect the prospect of two teams playing each other.

Hang on. Whoa. You're really bent out of shape out of this. Cut that hang. No, no, no. Keep that in. You're bent out of shape. I want to show your passion.

I am. I am. Okay. I don't like the idea. Are you crying? Yeah. I don't like the idea of two teams playing each other in week 17. And then I have to watch those same two teams play in the first round of the playoffs.

Well, if you remember, I think this is what 2010 they changed the schedule. And I actually disagree. We'll embrace debate here because what they changed the schedule so that everyone had to play in their division in week 17, which I think makes it a lot better. I like that. I do like that. Right. So of course the downside of that is every now and then you will get a situation where

the Vikings play the Bears week 17 and if the Vikings win, it will most likely be, I think it definitely is then Vikings Bears in the wild. It doesn't mean I have to like it though. Here's what happens when you get into a situation like that is you get a bunch of NFL head coaches trying to outsmart the other head coach. It's like, Oh, am I going to play this guy? There's smoke screens everywhere. Well, it just ends up when you have two NFL coaches trying to outsmart each other and

outthink each other, like over the course of seven days, you end up with some really dumb football. Well, you remember my, my deep dark down doomsday scenario for the Bears? That's a lot of things. Yeah. They go into the, it happened in the shower. I was, I was getting real down on myself and I was like, you're really getting down on yourself.

Really getting on yourself, really beating yourself up. The Vikings play the Bears week 17. And if the Bears don't play their starters, they are essentially saying, we're not scared of the Vikings come and play us in the wild card round. Now the Vikings get the disrespect card and you do not want to play a disrespected Kirk Cousins. He might actually win a game. No, he probably won't.

No, no. Because the problem is the Bears are have a winning percentage and it might be a night game. So then Kirk Cousins will just crumble into himself like a little elf. He'll be like, they put me in the night game for me, for us guys, not the major metropolitan city of Chicago. No, I would rather, I'd rather play the Vikings than the Eagles. Yeah.

Eagles are, yeah. No shit. Eagles are scary. Nick Foles is a scary quarterback. He's so fucking good. In the month of December and January, Nick Foles, when everybody else shrinks up because of the cold, 11 and four, just flops all around. He's just like pulling it.

He's pulling a baker and just flopping his dick all around everybody. And that might be his last game in Philadelphia. Was that Nick Foles last home game? This was his last fluffly Eagles home game as they're starting quarterback legend. It is. He is a legend of the game. You remember that one year? I think it was for Chip Kelly, where he had like 27,000 two interceptions.

That was amazing. They played the Saints and I remember it because my, I don't know if this happened everywhere, but I remember my TV went out for like half the game. Do you remember that? It might have just been whatever just RCN in Chicago, but like I basically watched scrambled porn for two quarters of that game. I would do that. Anyone who remembers that tweet that at me, because I might have scrambled porn.

That's Nick Foles. Yeah. Trying to get out of the pocket. Yeah, exactly. Whoo. The shrine to Chris Long Shrine. That's amazing. Yeah.

He's got like three candles up there. Disrespectful. Disrespectful of Carson Wentz. Disrespectful of Jesus and Catholicism. All of it. All of the above. He's a problematic figure that Chris Long. All right.

Let's, let's do our who's back of the week. We have a special one this week. So we're going to do New Year's resolutions because it's New Year's and we're going to do our personal and as a team resolution, we're going to talk it out before we start though. I want to do one New Year's resolution for not only us, but for everyone who's listening right now. And that is to watch the travel show coming out.

Caleb and Ron are colleagues who are tremendously talented. I don't know when it's coming out. They're going to announce it tomorrow. They're announcing when it's going to be released. Just like the NFL schedule release. So today you can see the announcement of when it's coming out. I have a feeling it might be coming out pretty soon, but they've been working very hard on it.

It's actually, I've watched some of it. It's insane. It's, it's better than a Netflix show. Like it is better than like a professionally made Netflix show. So make sure you watch it. Caleb and Ron do all that. So it's come out at once. Yes.

Yeah. They all do. So do you know the answer? Yes, they do. So if you hate your family, make an appointment. No, it's Caleb and Ron. We're the cities like Cleveland, New Orleans, Portland, they go to Portland, Oregon and Portland, Maine.

Oh, they go to both. I think they did both. I think they did both. I think they did both. I like it. Yeah. Caleb and Ron are legitimately two of the funniest people that I've ever met in my life.

Yes. And from what I've seen in this show, it's going to be amazing. Excellently produced. But I add. I don't know about the produced part, but Caleb and Ron are great. I would say they've, they've done a great job in spite of the production. Buddha Ben, I'm just kidding. I love you too.

Buddha Ben's been working his ass off as well. So the whole team has been incredible. Make sure you watch it. It's awesome. The travel channel. Don't they call that NBA TV? Not James Harden. You see that two, two steps back.

Yeah. He did the shuffle. That's why I watch college where they just brick threes all day and five miles gets you out of the game with 10 minutes left. It means more to those guys. Yeah, exactly. They don't, they don't palm the ball either. Those guys, their hands aren't big enough.

Those guys who go to college for six months, it means more to them. Yep. Okay. New Year's resolution. Who wants to start? I got a couple of spicy ones. Hank, why don't you go first? Hank, we'll go around.

Yeah. Yeah. I got a couple. Pretty basic. We talked about it the other day, but first one is boulders for shoulders. Done. I'm doing that as well. Good.

I think we should just carry heavy shit around for the entire year. How's that sound? Yeah. That sounds good. I want to get, so I know that you can do like a lot of shrugs. Right. That helps. Well, we're trying to become the, like, the ideal male body, but each of us having

a piece. Right. Yeah. So, you can't have shoulders too. No. You can't have everything big. Okay. Because if you focus on everything, you're not focusing on one part.

All right. But we're going to be like Voltron, where we're all robotic jaguars with their own special powers that come together to form a super machine. But here's what I'm, here's my idea. The new office, I've, it's probably about a hundred feet from our desk to our studio. We should just carry like something super heavy. So you have to carry it back and forth. You bring it in, then you got to bring it back.

I don't know what that is. You can't tell us, but we're going to start carrying random shit around. What about, what if we like weighted keyboards, would that, would that make our hands and forearms stronger? Yeah. That works. Maybe we'll put, maybe we'll put, yeah, like, let doughnuts for, for keyboard keys. Or we put like, we're working out weights underneath our black buffalo dip tins.

And we just have it. Like, so you're just carrying around an extra 10 pounds in your pocket at all times. That's called the Nick Foles. Next one. Bye. Let's take out. How, how is that possible? Well, clarify, buy less, take out on your credit card or the company credit card.

Cause I don't think we should limit the company credit card. No, no, no, no. Okay. All right. That's work. Yeah. That's work. Just when I'm on my own time buying on my own credit card.

So does Hank's going to learn to cook? Yeah. Hank, you should, oh, we should make a video. Of course. Yeah. Well, we're not talking about the mac and cheese with the, yeah, where you set the bowl on fire. You should do a series.

Hank learns to cook. Yeah. That's a good call. Yeah. That's a good series. Hank learns to cook. All right. What else?

That's all I had. That's it. Okay. That's pretty good. I had, I had a really easy one. Okay. I want to start trying some of those gas station supplements. I don't want to give myself too many.

No, that's smart. No, you got to give yourself, like, well, I have literally read one book. That's a lot. I know that's a lot. You can do that. You can do that. I also have read, go to one museum. Okay.

You can do that on your way to work tomorrow. Right. I feel like this is. Wait. Is it go inside one museum? No. I have to pay for a ticket and try to learn a couple things in one museum, go to the museum of sex.

Boom. No. Not your same. I'm pretty good at that. All right. So keep going. But you can do little ones. Like, I like to do little ones.

I mean, I'm not dying. This isn't like a bucket list. No. But Hank, like, okay. That's, that's just getting better. Okay. Fine. Fine.

Don't be too ambitious. Like not ordering takeout. That's impossible. How are you going to survive? You're going to starve. No. I said buy less takeout. Okay.

You know, like, let's say I buy like five, 10 times a week, I'd buy like three to six times a week. Okay. But you know what you can, here's what you do. Do it like three times a week, but get massive orders of it. Yeah. So you have leftovers. Yep.

That way you're stretching your dollar. Yeah. That's smart. All right. P.F.T. What else do you have? The gas station supplements one. Okay.

I want to get like the ones that the packages you see behind the cashier. I get in on that with you. Where it's like Rhino herb. Yeah. Or like. The Marotum ones. Yeah. It's usually like a guy.

I'm going to take them responsibly. Well, we should do it as a controlled experiment. We should all take them different ones and see right down like, you know, have Bubba interview us. Yeah. And we can figure out which ones work. Some of them I'm pretty sure are just bath salts. That works too.

Just like weird chemicals that haven't been outlawed yet. That works too. Yeah. All right. I have a, you know, what do you guys think about this? I'd like to try to, this is ambitious. I would love to do an Ollie. You can do an Ollie.

You think so? Yeah. You can learn to do an Ollie. Jump off. It's sick. It's sick. Okay. How about just, I'd love to learn how to skateboard a little.

I watched Mid 90s the other day, awesome movie, but I'd love to learn how to skateboard just a little bit. Good or no. Listen, if a dog. Yeah. If you saw that, that whole, the beginning of that movie is that kid trying to learn how to do that. That kid, right.

I wanted to do that. If a dog can do it, you can do it. Okay. All right. Anything that a dog does. Bulldog. I don't think a bulldog can Ollie. All right.

Are you serious? Bulldog can ride a skateboard. Okay. What about this one guys, this is a fashion one and this is actually kind of a, not trying to get a free plug, but maybe we'll get a free plug out of this. I'm thinking we get heavy into one of the three fashion types and one, no fear or big dog. No, I was always a big no fear guy, but no fear hook us up.

Yeah. No fear. Like I had the fear taste like chicken shirt. Yep. I wore that one out. So let's go. One of those people's gotta hook it up. You should be in the business of like really diversifying, like make suits, like upscale

version of no fear jumps fear less jumpsuit January. Yeah. Like that's, that's C Hank. That's a pretty easy. I'm basically my, my New Year's resolution is for some company from the nineties to give me free clothes. That's a pretty good fucking resolution. I like that.

I like that. I'm gonna lose 15 pounds in January. Are you really? That's the goal. Yeah. That's your baseline goal. It's just saying that I was scary. That was really, I tried to, I tried to sneak attack you guys on that one.

I'm going to gain eight pounds in January. Okay. Cause I'm eight pounds away from 200. Okay. I've never been 200 in my life. Nice. We should both try to get, we should both try to get 200 pounds. We should meet, we should meet in the middle.

Wait, how much do you weigh right now? Never ask a man's weight to walking around or in the morning? In the, walking around at the end of the day. At the end of the day, it's probably, it's probably two and a half bills. Okay. Two and a half bills. Maybe more. That way 192, you think that, you think that we could, no, do you think that we could meet

at like a 225? I would ask me to 220. I'd love to be 220. I could do 220. I would look like such a piece of shit if I was 220. Yeah. I would look, I mean, people would be like, fuck you dude, why'd you lose weight? That's the only, that's the other thing is people got to, we got to try to change that.

Like I think I can still be funny if I just get a little healthier. It's not even, it's, I don't even want to be skinny. I want to be, my back doesn't hurt all the time. I'm going to vote this year. Okay. Wait, is it? No, it's not going to be this year. All right.

I would have voted with you there. I'm going to register to vote this year. No, I bet you, you know what? There's probably a runoff somewhere. Yeah. Actually, I think Chicago mayor is coming up. So we can do that. Let me know if there's a runoff in your city and I'll just like get a flop house there

and register so I can vote and cancel yours out. What about for the podcast, do we have any, any New Year's resolutions? I don't know. Let's see. We're going to watch SpongeBob or something. I think, I think we should watch sports movies. I think we should do sports movie reviews. Yes.

We should do that. I would like to see us do an invent a new segment every month, okay, which we do anyway. I think I feel like we do like three new segments a month like every year. Okay. Let me revise that. I would like to start remembering all the new segments that we create. That's our problem is we invent a shitload of new things. We should never remember them.

I'll throw this out there. We should do one podcast in this, in this calendar year, goofy footed where you and I sit on opposite sides and we don't tell people that that's the goofy and see if people know, see if people know it's intro. Yeah. I kind of like that one. All right. Oh, we have to hit a gravity bong.

Yeah. That's some point. I think we can accomplish that. Yup. And I think that's about it. I mean, that's a lot. That's a good list. Someone put that on a list and send it back to Bubba.

You got any? No, you're fine. Just the way that you are, Bubba. Buy more sick johns. I would like to learn some new slang as well. I'd like to be, I would like to learn a slang word that is, has not become cool yet. Chonk. Chonk?

Well, we don't know if that's problematic or not. We know when it's an otter. It's problematic. All right. I am chonk. I'm trying to get less chonk. There. I used it.

No, but seriously, I want to learn some kind of phrase that's like, oh yeah, but I mean, we did it. Dude, we were so, so far ahead of everyone. Yeah. I, I miss that fucking rush. I would like to ride a horse this year. Okay. What about like a pony?

No, no, like, I want a donkey. I get you a donkey. No, I love. I love mules. Mules are great. Me and mules get along super well, but I'd like to ride a horse at some point. Bear back. I would.

No, it's not a saddle bullshit. I'd like for all of us to take a picture like with all of us riding a horse. Yeah. Yeah. All of us together. No, well, we can all get on it. On the same horse. What about this PFD?

What about a tandem motorcycle? What about a horse? It's a little buggy on the side. Yeah. You have to ride sidecar though. We make Hank ride sidecar. You can, you can be, you know, you can be my hot, what do they call it? The hog bitch?

No, I'm going to be in the front and I'm going to wear old lady. I'm going to wear old lady. I'm going to be in the front and I'm going to wear a shirt that says, if you can read this, the bitch fell off. Yeah. No, you, you'll wear, you'll be behind me, old lady. You say ass grass, ass gas or grass, no one rides for free. Are we going to haircut this year?

No, don't do that. Don't do that. I'll show you. I'll show you. I think that was a good brain start. Wait, would it be acceptable if I got a haircut and just turned into a mullet, like a really fucking long mullet? Lightning bolts on the side.

I'm sorry to break it to you, but you are your hair. Your hair is you. It's like Samson. I lose all my power when I cut. You can't. You can't. What if I cut it though and turn it into a wig for myself? It's what gives us our fucking grunge, dude.

We would become just any other podcast without your hair, you know, it's what it's our badass rebellious. Yeah. Cause I got the long hair. Okay. You got the cop mustache. Yeah. Here's, here's, here's.

Nobody would tell a shit in interviews. If they just saw that stash. Here's the compromise. I'll give you a compromise. You can cut your hair. We gotta get a neck tattoo in place. Okay. Then we can keep our badass.

Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Okay. You didn't say of what, but yeah. Just a huge neck tattoo all the way around. That works. Yeah.

Two legs tattoo, like a girl's legs tattoo on his neck that just like we're spread out. Oh, so it's like he's eating that box. Yeah. Nice. Nice. If he just goes down like that. Yeah. He was a shitty preacher.

All right. That's enough. That's enough. New Year's resolutions that we're going to accomplish all those. Someone make a list. We're going to accomplish all those. Uh, before, let's do our interview with Ricky Williams. We have, uh, he came into the office.

It was a lot of fun. If you remember, we actually had him on about six months ago reading our horoscopes. This one was more about his career, his new football venture, really fun guy. Like that was one of those things where Ricky, you know, obviously he's, everyone knows about Ricky Williams. He's tremendously successful and also a big time kind of like name, but he was like very down to earth and a lot of fun to talk to. Before we get to that, we have two quick, uh, sponsors, Bud Light, uh, all you AWLs

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Here he is. Ricky Williams. Okay. We now welcome on recurring guests. We actually were just saying this before you hopped in the studio. It is Ricky Williams, uh, Heisman trophy winner, football legend. He's here in person now. Like I said, we're recurring guests because you read our horoscopes.

Uh, Ricky, let's start with what you're here for. So you were here for the Heisman, uh, ceremony, but you also are here because you have a new football league coming out. Yeah. So on Thursday, uh, I was up in Bristol and we announced the freedom football league and it's something we were working on for, for over a year and you know, with all these other leagues coming out, we decided it was, it was time to make our announcements. So what, what exactly is the freedom football league?

Like how is it different than all the other leagues? Like you mentioned, there are a ton of new, it feels like what there's Alliance, the XFL. There's like a U S something with the word U S and there's, there's a bunch of leaks coming out. Our, ours is different for a couple of reasons. I mean, our, our main purpose is really to, to play the role of a, of a disruptor. And so I'm sold in on the, on the player side. It's dollars.

Yeah. Exactly. We, we talked about it. I mean, we're not, we're not coming public with all that stuff, but that's how it all, that's how it all started. Um, it was a bunch of retired players sitting around a table and talking about how we would do things different, how we do things better. And at first we were just messing around and then we said, you know what, let's, let's

do it. And the other big part is, is the fan involvement. You know, we wanted to change the experience for, for fans. And so, uh, one of our main things is when people buy season tickets, they, they get part of the team. Oh wow. Yeah. And so it'll be like owning, you know, it'll be, it'll be different.

It'll be like owning a stock. So in the future, if the team is successful and sponsorships are coming in and the league is growing, fans are going to get a check in the mail. That's awesome. So anybody that buys season tickets can actually refer to themselves as a professional sports team owner. Exactly. Do we, I'm in.

Well, I'm already a sports team owner. Well, yeah, yeah. So am I. The, well, we never signed that paperwork. Don't, don't say that a lot. Um, the, so where do we have, are we at the point where we know where the teams are going to be? Oh, okay.

Ten teams. Where are they? The closest team here is Harvard. Okay. On the, on the East coast. Okay. So you mentioned that you were involved with some other guys that used to play in the league. Who else is.

So, um, the, the biggest name probably is, is Terrell Owens. Um, just kidding. I know. Um, Dexter Jackson, Simeon Rice, uh, from those, those really good Tampa teams. Yup. And then we have a bunch of guys on the, on the West coast, um, Byron Chamberlain, played tight in for the, for the Vikings and for the, for the Broncos. Um, there's a couple of higher name guys who were keeping their name silent until, until

we pick up more head of steam. Cause I like that. Mystery owners. They're kind of nervous about, about, you know, pushback from the NFL. And a lot of the big name guys are still connected with the NFL. And so, you know, they want to keep their names and you obviously, I would assume you're not nervous about that, but was any, like, you know, you know, you know, you know, you obviously, I would assume you're not nervous about that, but was any, like, was Tio nervous?

I mean, he, he has his thing with the NFL too. He bucked the, he bucked the Hall of Fame. So, you know, he wasn't, he wasn't concerned about it. You know, and it was interesting when this all came up, there were half of the contingency was, you know, screw the NFL, you know, and part of them was like, you know, we don't want to piss them off. Right. And so at the end of the day, we said, we don't need to go up against anyone.

Let's just do, let's just do our thing. And I think it, what's going to end up happening is players from our league are probably going to go off to the NFL and have great careers. And so, but, but the whole thing is, is we just think that we can do it better as far as scouting, coaching and understanding what the football experience is actually like instead of, you know, the, the other model of the rich white guys own everything and they make all the decisions. So, I mean, I agree with you, the NFL should be welcoming to it because when you look at

the XFL, even though it was failed, they took some things, they made some things better than the NFL ended up using. The big thing for me is if you're going to do more football and I'm always down for more football, how are you going to keep the level of play at a high level? Like the problem with all these leagues is we already have shitty enough quarterbacks in a lot of teams. So now we're going to even have like, unless you want to sell me on Nathan Peterman, I will watch that.

Well, here's the thing though, in the NFL, there's a certain model, like you have to be a certain size to play a certain position and obviously we're not going to be able to compete with the NFL for those kinds of players. But as far as getting good athletes and developing them, we think, we think we can do in a lot of ways better than the NFL, again, because former players and maybe it's our, it's our egos thinking, you know, we've been there, we know how to, we know how to hell no, how are you guys going to get these players? So I've always thought that a league could come in and really disrupt if they offered

players out of high school, you know, these big contracts, that's, that's, that's, that was my main idea. When I, when I, when I stepped in, I said, if we're going to do this, I think we need to get players, get the players earlier. You know, I went back to school a couple of years ago and it really broke my heart. I was sitting in class and a lot of the current players were in class and I was thinking, you know, they recruit these kids and they expect them to compete at a high level on the field, but most of these kids can't even compete at a low level in the classroom.

And so I think the model right now is if you're a good football player and you want to go to the NFL, that you have to go to college, right? And college isn't for everyone. So creating another path to, to the NFL where guys that can come out and start getting paid and taking care of their families right away and even, and even like fine tune their education to something that actually interests them, that they can be good at instead of trying to go down this traditional road of, of a four year university. Yeah.

I like that. Are you going to play? No, I'm done. Sure. I'm done. Is Tio going to play? Tio's definitely going to play. He wants to play.

Yeah, of course. Tio does. I could play. Yeah. I mean, I have to get, get back into football shape. Yeah. I'm, I'm done. Okay.

Yeah. I think I, I just think I have so much more to offer, you know, other places in the league. Would you be, um, I guess like active in coaching at all or more of the mentor side? More of the mentor side. My, my role right now is head, head of player wellness and for me wellness isn't just, isn't just, you know, taking care of your body, but taking care of your mind. And I think I have a, here's the other thing. A lot of players retired and they've done other things and they've become good at other

things. And so bringing those gifts back to offer the league, not only they're on the field experience, but what they've been doing since they retired. Okay. Elephant in the room. Are you guys going to drug test? How's that an elephant? I thought the elephant in the room is his Texas back.

Of course. Oh. And we'll, and we'll show it against Georgia. Oh, you pause for a second. Yeah. Does this offend you? Sure. Texas back?

Is this, is this a vicinity when I do thorns down? It's not. And here's what I tell our guys. If you guys don't like it, then don't lose, right? Yeah. People, you start beating people. They're not going to be putting the horns down. It got out of hand this year.

Tom Herman is a very sensitive guy. Yeah. Like he takes, he's a big Umbridge taker. Yeah. And so when you, when he saw those horns pointing down, but let's, let's go back because you didn't answer the question. You guys going to drug test or what? Of course not.

Well, drug test or what? Let's be more specific. Drug test. Acid. No. Cannabis. Spinal taps. No.

Okay. Old drug test for, for, for PEDs, steroids, et cetera. That's fair. But, but again, like for me, here's what we're doing differently. We don't have to go by the old rules of how people have done it before. We're starting this league now. So we get to take current ideas, current understandings, current beliefs, current laws into consideration. And if we had a reason to test for cannabis, we would, but we can't, we sit around and

we can't come up with a reason to test for cannabis. I've always thought that the NFL just treats weed testing as a giant bargaining chip. I don't think they actually care if they're playing a smoke pot, but if they're going to get rid of that testing, they're going to get something for it. You know? So that's what it's become in the, in the CBA going back and forth is if they're going to give that up, we're going to have to give up some money. Right.

Essentially. I want to talk. So, so I'm excited for this. When, when are you guys going to start? 2020. 2020. Okay. Hopefully I'm still alive, but we'll, uh, I mean, that seems like forever.

2020. 2020. I mean, Alabama is playing Notre Dame in 2028. Oh, wow. They've already scheduled that ahead of time. Oh, wow. Yeah. Okay.

We'll have some hype. We'll have some hype leading up to it and we'll, we'll keep people engaged. And part of the reason is we get to see what plays out with these other leagues. Yeah. You know? And again, true. We'll learn from their mistakes. Have you thought about having us as coaches?

Hey, we're, it's open. I mean, I'm more, We were going to ask us in the seat. Would you guys come like commentate a game? Yeah. For sure. Absolutely.

Done. That'd be interesting to me. Okay. Just sign here. Yeah. Uh-huh. And we get a part of the league. We'll give you a part of the league too.

Done. I want the, uh, the Hartford team. You got it. Yeah. Um, so like I said, we had John before, but I wanted, we didn't really do like a full Ricky Williams talk and I wanted to do a couple of the, you know, a few minutes of that if you're cool with it. You got it.

Um, big question. And this might seem a little weird. When you look back at your NFL career, success or not? I say it's, uh, success. Yes. Because I got 10,000 yards. If I, if I was at like nine, nine, nine, I'd have been like, uh, you know, you'd have been like a success because I got 9,000 yards.

No, I wouldn't have. Okay. I would have said, you know, if I would have gotten 10,000 yards, would have been a success. Because you're, you're an interesting case. We actually randomly, it came up, I think last week we were talking about your career and my knee jerk reaction was no, but that was because of how great you were in college and how, I mean, I think whatever you traded for, four first round picks in your career, four first round picks.

But then I went and looked and I was like, wait, no, 2001, 2002, 2003, those were like some very good years. And also, you know, when I came back, it was situational. I was splitting time and even in splitting time, I still, I've managed to pretty much average a thousand yards. Yeah. I mean, I played 11 seasons, 10,000 yards, but one of those seasons was six carries because I tore my pack.

Right. It's, it's an interesting like what if, because I think like I said, the, do you think the expectations were too high for you when you went into the league? I don't. I think ultimately, you know, and I, and people ask me if I could go back and do anything again. What would I do differently? I would have gone to the NFL when I did.

I would have taken a year off right out of college and enjoyed being a Heisman Trophy winner for a year, travel, get to know myself and, and I'm sure the NFL would have taken me after a year off. Yeah. I just would have been like in a better place, but I went from college to the NFL and I had expectations about what the NFL would be for me. And people asked me, I said, the NFL was a disappointment to me because I grew up not watching Jim Brown, but really loving what Jim Brown stood for, that he was a great football

player, but he used his platform to have a voice. I got to the NFL. I started speaking up on things and the coach had said, shut up, stop being a distraction. And that, that broke my heart. Okay. I mean, that's also, yeah, I mean, that's, that's, you, do you think which, which one had the expectations, which one elevated the expectations more, the Heisman Trophy and all the success in college or Dick at doing that trade where he traded and you became

the only player I think in NFL history to be the only, like the singular pick of a team in a given draft. It's hard to answer that question because I always feel the expectations I put on myself far outweighed other people's expectations, you know, and, and I look at my career and you know, starting off first preseason game, I had an ankle injury. I came back first game of the season and had an ankle injury, you know, play, kept playing, dislocated my elbow, kept playing and ended up missing 10 games. My first, my first two seasons.

But if I could have stayed healthy, I think it'd be no, even, even with all the ups and downs and the cannabis and the suspensions, if I were to stay healthy those first two years, I think I'd be in the Hall of Fame. Yeah. So, you know, people talk about that first contract that you signed a lot. You had, it was No Limit Soldiers. They, they negotiate. No Limit Soldiers.

That was the height of No Limit. Did you ever, like, did they make you a poster where you were like an album cover for No Limit? Cause those things were, like, I kind of. They wore my Jersey in the Hooty Hoo video. They all had 34 Saints jerseys and I got a chain. I had a No Limit chain. That's awesome.

Did you ever see the tank that they wheeled out onto that basketball court? I never saw the tank. I just had the little tank on my, on my chain. And going into that, like, making that decision to sign with them, what was that process like at a college when they were like, Hey, we want to represent you. Yeah. So I was a baseball player. A lot of people don't know that, but I played minor league baseball and so I had a baseball

agent and they were just, we're going to be my football agent because we had a good conversation. Um, but that relationship broke down during my senior season at Texas and I was, you know, didn't have an agent and all these agents would come to me and it just sounded like the same old spiel and I didn't want to like, you know, do the same thing everyone else was doing and no limit was big and I, I liked what they were doing and I, I saw an opportunity to do something different until, until I jumped all over it. Was there ever a part of you that thought maybe you wanted to play baseball?

Yeah. There's a big part of me. Really? I wanted to play many times. So do you think Kyler Murray, you were just at the Heisman, you have a Heisman vote, you voted for Kyler Murray, do you think he's making the right choice playing baseball over football? Hell yeah.

Why? No doubt. Just, just simply because of, you know, the, the health, the, the health risks that come with football or, or what's the reason? You know, yeah, there's health risks, but I look at the quarterback position and I don't, I think it's much diminished. The health risks is much diminished for, for, for quarterbacks, especially compared to running backs.

You know, I just think at his size and his skill set, I just think it's just a smoother path to, to baseball. You know, I take Johnny Menzel for, for instance, you know, a smaller guy who dynamic with this, with his feet and could throw the ball. It was hard for him to find a place in the NFL, Pat White, I played with a little bit in Miami and good. It wasn't as good as Kyler. But again, I just think his, his body and his skill set, he can play baseball forever.

Yeah. That's probably right. Make more money. Make more money. Exactly. So that's probably right. That's probably right. To contract and baseball.

Like you signed one deal and you're pretty much set for life. Yeah. Although baseball, the grind to baseball is crazy. But yeah. No, that's, that's what I didn't like about baseball, playing every day is, it's hard. And you played every summer, right? Yeah. Like while you were in college.

Yeah. Yeah. That's, yeah, that's crazy. Yeah. You know what, Jimmy Rollins? And the one thing about Jimmy is he loved to play baseball and to play like, you have to love the game to get up and 160. Are you drinking that, that greenie coffee and meth in it?

Yeah. Yeah. They don't have that anymore though. Yeah. Pound that. Yeah. Definitely get your love. They don't want you to drink that anymore.

I think this game is awesome. Yeah. This is the best. I love standing in the outfield for five hours. This is awesome. So you go from New Orleans, you go to Miami and you played in probably our favorite system there, the Wildcat. Yes.

That's kind of brand new and just kind of coming to the NFL. Was that, did Spirano put that in because of the lack of options he had at quarterback or was he just like, I'm going to do something crazy? Actually, we had Chad Pennington. He actually had a good year, took us to the playoffs. We started off, we hired David Lee, who was the offensive coordinator at Arkansas with Felix Jones and Daryl McFadden and they had run the Wildcat a little bit. He came in and we were in training camp and he put it up on the board and we kind of looked

at each other and we're like, we're not running this high school shit, you know? After 0 and 2, you know, you start rethinking things and we lost our first two games and we were playing the Patriots up in Foxboro and he installed it on Tuesday in the meetings or Wednesday in the meetings and we ran it in practice and we said, all right, we'll give it a try. And then we went up to Foxboro and whooped up on the Patriots and it was in, it became a main staple of our office. It was supposed to revolutionize the NFL and be honest with me here, was there ever

an option to pass there or it's just really run, right? It was, it was a called play. There was never any options at all. Okay. So would they ever call pass? Yes. No. Ronnie threw a touchdown every now and then.

I think he called it twice. We always laugh because it's like everyone announcers would freak out and be like, Wildcat, here comes a Wildcat. Are they going to run or are they going to pass? Well, 95% chance are going to run. 99% chance. Yeah, right. They're really not screwing anyone up.

They're going to run. We threw a touchdown pass against the Patriots that first game and I think after that, we did. The reason it worked so well is because defenses had no idea what we were doing. They didn't realize it was a called play. It wasn't even a check on the, on the runs. We evolved it into where Ronnie would play quarterback and I'd be in the back foot and we'd do some zone read stuff.

And I don't think the Wildcat necessarily revolutionized the NFL, but it did open the door for, for teams to start running the zone read with, with quarterbacks that could run. Yeah. That's probably fair. Yeah. I'm surprised someone didn't, because it was right at the same time that Tim Tebow came into the NFL, I'm surprised someone didn't just draft Tebow and have him as a Wildcat.

Yeah. Yeah. Quarterback. That's kind of what the Saints do now would, would take some hill. Yeah. They just have him like, yes, he can pass if he has to, but it's more about just figuring out that, Hey, if you have eight guys, that's more than seven guys, you know, like it took the announcers like four or five weeks when you guys were running it to finally figure

out, well, it's just now they have more guys on offense than the defense can guard. And so that's the whole point. That's the whole point. Right. It's pretty simple when you get down to it. Um, so when they were installing it, you, you were like, there's no chance that this works or were you like, there's no chance that this works. And I was thinking, I'm going to be on the sideline because I'm not running all this

crazy stuff. And then they said that I was the guy that goes in motion and I said, I'll try it. And, uh, and, you know, what I loved about it is there was four running backs and on the field at the time and in the running back room, it was just great for morale because we're all on the field together working together and you know, we had a blast doing it. Yeah. And it was, was Belichick just looking at you guys, fuming, was he screaming? Like, was he noticeably frustrated?

Their whole team was, you know, what, what makes the Patriots and Belichick so good is their preparation. Is that, you know, they scout to where if, if I would touch my gloves, they would know I'm in a run. Like they scout to that detail and throw out, throw something at them that they weren't prepared for it. They didn't, they didn't know how to function. Yeah.

They were bumping into each other, yelling at each other. It was, it was great to see. Was that the season that, uh, Tony Sparano buried the ball or did you do that out in the end? Uh, I think he did that when he was an interim coach. Yeah. Did you ever bury a football after a bad loss? No.

No. Burned the tape. Damn. He was a big tape. Did any of your coaches ever do that? Bury the football? Yeah. Like actually bury, have a funeral for the football.

Hmm. No. You should implement that in the new football league. After every loss, the team has to have like a full on, uh, funeral. We'll have like a graveyard in the back of the stadium for losses. Yeah. Yeah. We got a lot of ideas like this.

We got a lot of ideas like this. Really? I'm telling you, give you a stake in the league. Yes. In. Yeah. So I want to cash out right now how much is it worth? How much is it appreciated?

I got 60 bucks in my pocket. I've seen that. I've seen a bunch of interviews with you where the people who are talking to you heavily imply that they like think that you're a little bit crazy. Do you think that we're a little bit crazy? I do. Do you think we think that you're, you're a little crazy? I hope so.

Okay. See, I don't see crazy as a bad thing. No. I don't. I think crazy is a good thing. A little bit of crazy is a good thing. I think we all need a little. Who has more crazy?

Yes, or you? I think you guys do. Interesting. It's really good. Well, I've been like in the NFL and like, you know, I wasn't allowed to be crazy. So I think it stunted my craziness. Oh, how would people try to put a limit on your craziness? Would it just be a coach saying, Hey, Ricky, don't talk to that reporter?

Or what was that like? I think it's a little more subtle, like, um, since you're from the group, you know, where there's certain things that you're supposed to do and certain things you're not supposed to do. Did you, did you, like you weren't supposed to wear a helmet when you do an interview or something? Yeah, that's true. That's true.

Did you feel it from your teammates too? When I first got to New Orleans, I felt it, but as they got to know me and saw the way that I worked on the field, they didn't care. Right. You know, right. What do you think that you were not ahead of your time, but I always wonder this with you because it feels like when you, when, you know, you had the weed and the suspension and you quit football and you're like, I want to find myself, there's more to football

than just, there's more to me than just football. People were like, come on, dude, you're throwing this whole thing away. Whereas today I feel like people are a little more open to someone being like, Hey, you know what? I'm not just a football player. Yeah. So you think you were a little, do you think the reaction would be different today if, if like Ricky Williams career was happening right now?

For sure. I have no doubt about it. No, I mean, no doubt about it. Do you, so I will, one, uh, Stephen A Smith would have gone on an awesome, like stay off the weed thing. I would have come, I would have come on and just confronted him to his face. No one confronts him. Yeah.

What would you say? Yeah. I would ask him if he ever smoked weed and tell him that he probably needs to. We need to get that, like happen. Let's get that debate. I don't know why we don't have that. Embrace the base. Should you stay off the weed?

Yeah. Did you like weed more than football at one point? Well, let's, let's, let's break this down. Yeah, let's do it. Let's break this down. Okay. So just, I'm not going to answer the question directly yet, but I will say I'm, I'm guessing you guys have smoked weed before.

Yes. Allegedly. All right. Allegedly. So have you guys ever played football? Yes. Yes. Okay.

Madden every Sunday. Every Sunday. Wow. High. Full back. Well smoking. You can do both. Yeah.

So you guys, I know it's great. Yeah. It is. The way you play football is slightly different, right? One feels better than the other. Okay. So I'll say in the immediate visceral sense of it, I enjoyed smoking more. Okay.

But as far as, I can't even say that for, if I look at what football has done for me in my life and what cannabis has done for me in my life, I have to give the advantage to cannabis. Ooh. Yeah. So it, it sounds to me like you like the feeling after you smoke better than the feeling after you play football, but you like the act of playing football better than the act of inhaling smoke.

Yes. Yes. You got it. You just need to buy a better bong. It's the problem. Or just start taking edibles. Yeah. I like the immediate feeling.

I don't like to have to wait. Because every time I have to wait, by the time I feel an edible, I forgot that I had an edible. You didn't eat more. Yeah. The first time you ever took an edible, where you like, this isn't working, I need to double up my dose. And then you got way too high and freaked yourself out.

No. I was a, it was New Year. I was in New Orleans. It was New Year's Eve. I was in a party and my roommate, she made a bunch of brownies and it was my first experience with edibles. And I didn't know how to dose them. And so I like brownies.

Who does it? So I ate half the pan of brownies and my first edible experience was probably the most fun night I ever had in my whole life. Okay. I just remember laughing my ass off the whole entire night and the next morning. Yes. And the next. And you were still high.

Yes. And you were still high. And still high. And I was like, do you do football? Like, was there a time after you retired where you're like, man, I kind of wish I had done some things differently? Mm-mm. Really?

Mm-mm. That's, that's gotta be a good feeling. Well, I mean, that's what people would assume. Right. I feel like when I played football, I gave so much of it, it's like, I did it. Right. I did it. You did a lot.

Yeah. And honestly, again, I think people look at me and they're like, yeah, you're a big guy and you're fast. You have all this talent. And they assume that that's all that I can do. But there's other things in my life that are more rewarding than I've enjoyed doing that. I'm actually better at. That's the part that I was talking about in terms of like,

when you were playing football versus today, because I think athletes now today, they're respected more as well-rounded people, whereas even 10, 15 years ago, it was like, no, you're a football player. Like, shut up. Especially when you're a really, really good football player, like I was.

People just assume that that's who I am. Do you ever go back and look at old video and be like, man, our pads were ridiculous. How big they were? Yeah. I learned probably my, when I got to Miami, I got smaller shoulder pads, but everything before I can't watch.

Yeah. The Texas, the big boxes. It's crazy. They date you. Yeah. It's bad. What was the thought process with those, I mean, when did that,

when did shoulder pads start getting small? I don't know, but it definitely was in 2002. 2002. That was exact time. Watching you play- It was a very, very particular answer. That's where mine got smaller. In college, and then watching Randy Moss play in college,

where he's like the fastest guy on the field, but he looks like he's slower than shit because his shoulders are twice the size of his body. And the jerseys are like mesh pennies that look like you could get them for maybe 15 bucks. I know. Those, I know they date us. Yeah.

When was the most fun you ever had playing football? Good question. Probably running the Wildcat. Really? That year in Miami with, because Ronnie and I were really close and we just, we both got to get on the field at the same time and we were, we were winning.

It was a lot of fun. Yeah. Were you ever a little jealous? Like, come on, let me throw a couple passes. Why does Ronnie get to pass all the time? I was only two passes. Yeah. I threw one pass and it was an interception.

Yeah, I was like, I'm done. What's Matthew McConaughey like? He's intense. Yeah. He's really intense. You smoked with him? I have not. What?

How is that possible? Played softball together. How is that possible? Cause every time I see him, where it's like it has, it's in like a sports kind of environment thing. Interesting. We just set up that play date.

Yeah. I'm down. We will come. Take you out on Lake Travis. We should invite ourselves to this party. Yeah. That's actually a really good idea. Yeah.

Very good idea. Well, I'll get in touch with Matthew. I'll say that you already agreed to it. Yeah, I'm in. That way he's in. What about Vince Young? We've interviewed Vince Young. He's a pretty funny guy.

Yeah, I like VY. Yeah. He's my guy. Do you ever tell you about how his game plan is always just chill out in the first half and then in the second half he just goes the fuck off? Yeah. I've watched him.

I've seen him. It's so famous. That's how he knows about it. Yeah, I wish he'd never told anyone. He'd probably still be playing. He probably still didn't leak that. Yeah. Shit.

Well, that's, oh, I had one last question. The Seat Geek question put in promo code TAKE. You get $10 off Seat Geek Purchase, promo code TAKE. So we talked about it a little earlier, but give me an honest answer. Is Texas all the way back? I'm talking Ricky Williams back. Have you seen our quarterback play?

Yeah. Elendrick can do stuff. Can do stuff. It's underrated because Texas has been off the map. That's my favorite way of saying someone sucks, by the way. He can do stuff. He's, it was special this year. He can win you a game.

He was special this year. And what games? He was special. He was special. Yeah. Some, like when? He had one bad game all year. Okay.

One bad game all year. He can do stuff. Yeah. He threw only through four picks and two of them came in the second to last game. But you're still answering my question. Is Texas back? Yes.

Nationally. Yes. Like people think they think college football and they're thinking Alabama, LSU, Ohio State, USC, Texas. They're not that back yet. But they're, but they're, they're knocking on the door. And they have an opportunity.

Not all the way back. They have this opportunity in the sugar bowl to be all the way back. So they're on the precipice. That is a huge game now. If they beat Georgia, they're officially back. They're all the way back. They're all the way back.

They're officially Texas back. Yes. They're all the way back. I do like Tom Herman. I think he's a good coach. I think he's a little bit of a baby with the horns down stuff and like complaining about Will Greer.

But he's clearly a very good coach. Yeah. And he's a great coach when he's an underdog. I think in the moment, he just was mad that they lost. Right. Which is fine. Just admit that. Don't, like, don't.

Everyone knows the guy who's like, oh, it's I'm mad for another reason. Like, no. He's notorious for having his, you know, being a little butt hurt after a loss. But it means he cares. Right. He's emotional.

I like Tom a lot. Yes. You know, I, I, I agree. I think there is definitely, there's a place for that kind of emotion. It's just afterwards you gotta be like, you know what, I was probably wrong back then. Yeah.

Yeah. I do have a last question. So when you were actually traveling the world during your year off, like physically, what were you doing? Like I've heard that you were like getting really into photography. I've heard that you were camping places,

but like it's all from, you know, just like internet rumors, basically. Yeah. I was after my photography phase. Okay. It was after. So, so I was retired. Started living with a friend at Huntington Beach

and said, okay, I need to travel. So hopped on the plane. I went to Samoa first, just hung out. And then I went to Fiji for a couple of days. What does hanging out in Samoa look like? Going to the beach. I actually was taking pictures in Samoa. Okay.

I actually was hanging out at the beach. Okay. And walking around and just checking things out. And stay in, cause in Samoa they have T-keys, like these T-keys on the beach and playing rugby with kids. Crazy story. It's like, you know, these kids in Samoa didn't know who I was and we're playing rugby

and I'm running down and these 12 year old kids are like taking shots at me. It was great. Yeah. That's awesome. It was awesome. And then Fiji hanging out was kind of boring. So then I said, I want to go back to Australia.

So hopped on the plane, went to Australia, rode the Greyhound bus around Australia, ended up in this town called Byron Bay, really cool hippie town. And that's where I pitched a tent for the first time in my life and stayed on the campground and just met people from all walks of life all around the world.

And I started reading. It was the weirdest thing in my whole life. I think I had read two books. And when I retired, I just realized that maybe I'm more intelligent than I thought I was. So I just started reading a bunch. And then I came back to the States and that's when I started studying alternative medicine,

became a yoga instructor. In my life started to take a whole different path. And the astrologer, the healer, all that part of me started to emerge. Damn. So if I started reading, who knows? Who knows, you might be getting better shape. Oh, so we're trying to get in shape next year.

Not in December, but like one January. Core. I just want to get giant arms like Popeye. I want, I have a bad back. I want core strength. Core strength. So you do yoga. I would say Pilates is good for a lot of chick stuff.

I know, but you don't like chicks? No, I do. And that's fine if you don't. I'm saying like, no, I do, but like, I want to get like core, but like, oh man, the manly core. What is a man like, the old steroid? I don't know.

Like six pack that's out to here? Just embrace dad bod. What do you like to be happy with dad bod? What are you looking for? I don't really know. Maybe I need to go to Australia and read some books. I'm telling you. Fuck.

It'll change your life. I'm actually chilling. Not Australia. I'll just read a book. I'll do that then. Yeah, Australia doesn't really exist. What do you mean? So Australia doesn't exist.

It's, it's made up. So back when Australia was first invented in quotes, it was a penal colony, right? Yeah. So they put all the people in England, all the prisoners got onto a boat and they sent the boat overseas. Now, if you're the king of England,

if you run the prisons, which would you rather do? Just put all your prisoners on a boat, send them halfway across the world and then pay for them to be fed and clothed and have shelter and all that stuff over there. Or do you think that that old king of England, who was probably a pretty big jerk, would just sank that boat and just told everybody,

hey, the prisoners are over in Australia now. They're fine. Don't worry about them. They're not here anymore. That's actually a really good point. Yeah. Thank you. Interesting.

What's your favorite conspiracy theory? Hmm. I don't have any. All right, well, now this one should be. Yeah. Yeah, you should just leave it. Pretty good. This one.

It's a good, I'm taking this one on. Well, please do some research about it because my research has consisted of me reading like one Reddit thread, but then letting my mind kind of run with it. That's all you need is one Reddit thread. Yeah, just a spark. Just a spark.

Just a spark. Bruce Springsteen said that, right? Yeah. You can't start a fire without a spark. Right. This gun's for hire. Without a Reddit. You can't start a conspiracy theory

without a Reddit thread. That's how we didn't start? Yeah. That's all. Yeah, that's all. That's all. All right, well, Ricky, there's been a ton of fun. You're welcome back anytime, man.

Appreciate you joining us. We're looking forward to the league. We're looking forward to being investors in the league, to calling games, to being owners, to being coaches. Players? Yeah. We'll kick actually. Yeah, so I'll kick, we'll catch the water.

One of the things we're throwing around is having female kickers. Okay. Well, I've got long hair. I can pass for a girl from behind. Here's an idea. Here's one last idea. Throw this out there.

So we were talking about this, the two point conversion play. You know how they basically ruined it in the NFL? Yeah. You should have the two point conversion play be exactly how it used to be, but everyone who plays in the two point conversion play is just a fucking Joe Schmo off the street

and they sign a waiver and it's just mayhem. Here's an action suggestion. Got about that. Wow. Yeah. Wow. So you can just be like, hey, it's almost like, you're basically daring all the guys sitting on the couch

being like, I could play. Like, all right, prove it. Get in there for the two point conversion and get your, you know, your face smashed. One of the ideas that I put on the table, I'm not sure the guys will like it or agree is because season ticket holders are owners, part owners of the team that are all four downs.

If you're a season ticket holder, right? You get to make, you get to vote. I like it. Are we going to go for it? I like that. You could also do the other idea I've had is that everyone who plays, if you're a season ticket holder, the players get to challenge one of the fans to a fight

at any point during the season. One fight. The players. In the middle of the field, they run their mouth. I like that idea. Kind of makes it interesting when you go to the game, you're like, if I talk shit, and you can't press any charges, you get talk shit,

but you might get challenged to a fight. Yeah. Okay, I got two more. Does that work for like trolling on social media? It would. It would, but it'd be a assault. So I still stole the idea from me and made it so that everyone fought once a year, like can get challenged.

But the real idea is that it happens in sports arenas. Brilliant. Yeah, thank you. I like that rule a lot too. I have two ideas. One is whoever scores a touchdown has to kick the extra point. Wow. Yep.

Yeah, or if you want to make it somebody who weighs more than 300 pounds, then that extra point is worth three points. So you get fat guys kicking. 300. 300. Yeah, everybody loves that. My second idea is on the turf, the little black pellets that you have on the field turf

that are made out of like ground up tires or whatever. The out of bounds should have different color pellets than the in bounds. So you can tell when someone goes out of bounds. There you go. So there you go. And it would just look awesome and slow-mo. Like imagine that in super slow-mo, like the toe drag.

Ping, ping, ping, ping, ping, ping, ping, ping, ping, black, black, black, black, black, black. That was a different sound. So we thought about putting like a sensor, a sensor in the football and a sensor on the goal line. So if any part of the ball crosses, the sensor picks it up and we just, and we know. What are your thoughts on punting

and someone maybe having a knife? Hmm. It depends. Is it an offense has the knife? Or does it just- The offense, mystery knife. No mystery knife, mystery knife. No one knows.

They have to declare the knife to the ref, but sometimes the other team misses it. That could work. Okay. That could work. All right, Ricky, this has been great. We will talk further. Get us in front of the whole committee

and we'll just go rapid fire all our ideas. You can take any of them you want. Boom, put them into the league. I like it. Okay, Ricky Williams, thank you so much. Really appreciate it. We're current guests and good luck with the new league. Thank you.

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Protect your online activity today. Find out how you can get three months for free at expressvpn.com slash PMT. That's E-X-P-R-E-S-S-V-P-N.com slash PMT for three months for free with a one year package. Expressvpn.com slash PMT, learn more there. Okay, let's get to some segments. First up we have Mike Tomlin says stuff.

Is this the new, this is a new segment, right? Yeah, I think that's a good name for it. Mike Tomlin says stuff. Yeah, Mike Tomlin's things that he said holy shit, what does he mean? Does he understand himself? Yeah, so last week we had the famous quote where he said sometimes you gotta cut off your eyelids

so that you don't blink. And this week, not the best Mike Tomlin says stuff week, but we have at least one and we also have a fun game we're gonna play here. So he did say that we made the bed, we'll lay in it. I'll expect us to lay in it very well and perform. So it's a classic cliche, make your bed and you, what is it, make your bed and you gotta lay in it.

Yeah, you made your bed not lie in it. Yeah, right. So and in this case, the Steelers are like one of those beds where the sheets don't really fit. And there's maybe some sand and some crumbs from that loss to the Raiders, maybe a little like puke from the loss to who are the saints. It's your only pair of bed sheets that you have

and your washing machines broke. Yeah, the pillow cases, all the pillow cases are off just cause you're a violent sleeper and you can't remember if your ribs are hurt or not. Kinda smells like sweat and PF Changs. And PF Changs. But they're gonna lay in it. A lot of sauce.

It's the sauciest, stickiest bed that you've ever been in your life. But they'll lay in it and not only that, but they'll lay in it very well. And they'll perform in the bed. Which I actually agree that they probably will perform in that shitty bed cause they're playing against the bangles. This is the bed that the Steelers were made to lie in.

And they will perform in that bed. They're gonna die in that bed. Yes. All right, but we have a fun game where PFD, you have... I don't know if it's fun yet cause we haven't played it. All right, well I'm gonna call it fun, pre-fun. We, you have some quotes. Some made up, some real.

And we have to guess Hank, you can play as well. We have to guess if it's a real Mike Tomlin quote or fake Mike Tomlin quote. Okay, I've got six quotes here. Okay. And you have to figure out which ones are real. Okay. All right, first one.

I want you to be able to look a man in his eye and know his blood type. I'm gonna say that's real. Hank? Fake. Hank's right. Fake. You made that one up.

That's a good one. That's a good one. Yeah. Okay. Dominant teams aren't necessarily dominant in stadiums, but they are dominant largely in moments. That's real. Fake.

It's real. All right, that's good. We see that again. Dominant teams. I like that quote a lot because like, yeah, it makes zero sense. So there is no Homer road. It's just moments.

No, dominant teams aren't necessarily dominant in stadiums, but they're dominant largely in moments. Right, so there is no home or away. It's just moments. Right, life is a series of moments happening to you. Right. It doesn't matter if it's in a stadium. Right.

But games are usually typically played in a stadium. Right. It's my understanding. Oh, you can play in an arena. Okay. Fill your ears up with crap and the whole world sounds like a toilet. That's fake, but that's a great quote.

Fake. Yeah, that one's fake. That's a great quote. That one's absolutely fake. Okay, there's a difference between. We can say it again. Fill your ears up with crap and the whole world sounds like a toilet.

That, like, that one. That's a really good quote, though, if you try to, that's a rat poison quote. The next statement would say. Yeah, yeah, these are, again, the ones that aren't Mike Tomlin quotes will be said by him at some point. Right, exactly.

Okay, next one up. There's a difference between winning and winning. Fake. That's real. No, that's fake. Ah, I understand that one. Listen, there is a difference between winning and winning. Yeah, when I wrote it,

I was writing something that sounded nuts, but after I was done, I was like, I talked myself into it. Right, you could tell me that. That's some real shit. That's so fake, it's real. Mike, if you're out there listening, I know you probably are your big fan.

If you need a speech writer. Yes. I feel like I'm channeling your voice. You absolutely are. Like the Bears today, they won, they didn't win. Yeah, you know? Exactly. They won.

They didn't win. But they didn't win. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, okay. You're looking at me weird, Hank, but it makes perfect sense. They won the game, but they didn't win the game. No, they didn't.

They did not win the game, but they won the game. Got it. Okay. We got a problem. We got two dogs and just one bone. That seems like a real one. That sounds like the Joker.

We got a problem. We got two dogs and just one bone. Is that what the Joker sounds like? Kind of, a little bit. Heath Ledger maybe? Yeah, yeah. That, Hank, what was your guess? Fake.

That's real. Yeah. What was the context in that one? I think he was talking about, fuck, probably Martavis Bryant and Antonio Brown. Both wanting catches. Oh, I was gonna say both wanting to roast the bone. Yeah, both, yeah.

Oh, I got it. Yeah, that's good. Well, this also could have been a motivational quote with Michael Vick around. Yes. Next one, if you wanna make an omelet, you can't let your chickens get pregnant. That's fake.

That's real. That's fake. Yeah. That's a good one as well though. But it's also true. You nailed it. It's also true. Yes.

Because you can't have your chickens having sex. Right. Because the eggs that they lay are unfertilized. Is that true? Yeah. Damn. You're not eating a baby bird. Okay, I don't understand that, but okay.

Yeah, yeah. No, I think I have one more. That was good. Hang on. Yeah, I got one more. That was fun. Okay. Last one.

No, that's it. That's all. That was very fun. I'm glad I was able to fool you with some of this. Yeah, you were. Yeah, because that's how crazy Mike Tomlin is. Like his quotes make no sense, but they also kinda make sense.

It's a class, we've explained it. Mike Tomlin is the king of saying something and you being like, okay, and then walking, it's like almost the kill bill five point death thing, where you walk down the hallway and you're like, wait, that didn't make any fucking sense. But he gets you out of there. Or walking past someone and then like a couple steps later,

spelling the fart that they just crafted. Yeah, right, shit. But here's the thing, if you're a football coach, that's what your job is. Your job is to just make somebody amped up in any given moment. Does nothing mean anything. In a series of moment.

It doesn't matter if it's in the stadium or not. You just have to make somebody feel alive for a split second. In that moment. In that moment. And that's what Mike Tomlin does. Just blood rushing through them in that moment. Yep.

All right, we have next up. I'm gonna skip one cause I wanna do a different one. Okay, PFT. Audible. From Audible, you know, Omaha, Omaha. This is a new one as well. Darren Ravel being relatable on gambling content.

This is our new segment. So he tweeted out, imagine being the dude who plunked down $220,000 on the chiefs minus one at the mirage tonight, watching these final few minutes. Just imagine dude. Just imagine, imagine being that dude. That's so relatable.

When people like leave ASPN and they're saying, I'm leaving so I can finally be me and get out and show my personality, what Darren meant by that was, I get to use the word dude in my tweets. Yes. Dude and do death. So then someone actually funny,

you mentioned that because someone responded. No, Darren also can't imagine being the dude who left a huge company to go work for an app. And Darren replied, visionaries are visionaries because others can't see their initial vision. That's very true. Mike Tomlin quote. That is great.

They said the same thing to Jesus. Oh man, but that my like, we should actually make a new segment. Darren Ravel trying to pretend like he's gambled before. It's always like, imagine being the, imagine talking to the dude who had the under in this game. No, I can't. I can't, I literally can't.

I don't know what you're fucking saying right now. Yeah. He tweets out live, look at the under like as the game ends and it's been over for the last like 40 minutes. Imagine being the dude who had UMBC over Virginia and your bracket and then walking into work the next day. No, I can't again. No, no, no.

And if someone said that to me, I'd fucking slap him in the face and call him a liar. Okay, that's it. All right, King State Kings. This is for Marvin Lewis, who the report has come out that the Bengals are going to apparently let Marvin Lewis coach for as long as he wants to coach. That's a classy thing.

He fired himself. That's the organization. Yeah. So I don't even know where to go with this. This is just, this is so perfectly Bengals. They're basically like, hey man, you suck. We know you suck, but we can't fire you. So will you just fire yourself?

There's nothing wrong with that. The Bengals are like a shitty old community golf course. And they're not gonna, they're never gonna be great, but they've got a groundskeeper that most of the people tend to enjoy. And so they're like, you can live in this shack on the ninth hole and mow the fairways for as long until you mow off into the great big sunset in the sky.

Right. And everybody will be fine with you because the stakes are very, very low and insatiable. So like, I have no problem with that. Just give him like a gold watch when he wants to retire. It's actually, the Bengals, you could make the case are like the most relatable franchise in the world because you have a coach who's like, you know what,

I don't really want to like leave. I don't want to get a new job and like have to apply for places. No, everyone has had that moment in life. We're like, I don't really like my job, but I need to go somewhere else. But I don't really want to do anything. And then the Bengals are the same way.

They're like, oh, we're gonna have to fucking go put this on like this job opening online. We're gonna have to interview people. We're gonna have to fly people in. The logistics are insane. Let's just keep Marvin Lewis. I think that's the big issue for Paul Brown is he just doesn't want to pay for flights

to fly coaches in on interviews. Like we'll have to go to a steakhouse. Yeah. Wait, we split that, right? Yeah. I don't cover that. Can we just get some Skyline Chili? Does that work?

Yeah, can I write off the private jets that I'm sending out of my taxes? And that's, cause that's gonna be an issue. Yeah, so exactly. It's the Bengals. The Bengals and 17 times the Bengals were everyone. Right. The Bengals and Marvin Lewis

are staying together for the kids. And they're in a loveless relationship. That's okay. But that's fine. And no one expects the Bengals and Marvin Lewis to be like fucking all the time. They don't fight kinky stuff. Right, they don't fight out loud.

They don't fight in public. So there's worse things, you know? They don't kiss on the lips anymore. No, that's fine. That's okay. Speaking of kissing on the lips, let's go to our Monday reading. You like that for a segment?

That was a really good segment. So this one comes to the New York Times. We'll finish with our Monday reading reminder. We have best of coming on Thursday, no show Monday, but back January 2nd. Make sure you also ration yourself out the best of because it's gonna be long and we wanna get as many.

Download and read down and low and resubscribe and do all that please because we're gonna be off for a week. All right, New York Times. The title of it is I keep making out with the father of the kids I babysit and I can't seem to quit him or them. Help.

So this is actually like one of those Dear Abby things. So we're not even gonna read the response. We're not gonna read the expert. No, please don't. Who writes in? I just pulled this up and if you have a computer in front of you at home, pull up the article right now

because there's a really good graphic at the top. It's a gift of just like two people smooching. Verbal meme gift. And then the guy leaves. And the guy disappears and then, oh, now she's sad that he went away. Oh, she's blushing. Okay.

I'm a woman in my late 20s and for the past three years I've been babysitting for a family. Two years ago, I began having a strange kind of affair with the father of the children who is 13 years older than me. By strange, I mean we make out about once a week. It's insanely hot.

We kiss, our hands wander, clothes get pushed aside and then after about 10 minutes, he abruptly stops and says he has to go. He also comes to my apartment after work sometimes, but again, only to make out briefly. Nothing more. It's torture.

This guy loves making out. So first of all, this guy is coming in his pants. Yeah, obviously. Like 100% jizzing in his pants every time. She's like, for some reason, it never escalates past rubbing outside the clothes and then all of a sudden he stops and smokes a cigarette and checks Twitter and then leaves.

Quote is, he abruptly stops. He just jizzed his pants. Yes. Like, he can't last long enough to not jizz his pants right in front of you when you're making out. And he's convinced himself if we just make out and I jizz my pants, then that's not cheating.

It's not cheating if you come yourself. It's weird. Every time I go to touch his dick, he's like, oh, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. I gotta go. Okay. So back to her writing. I've ended this thing many times.

It's not a thing. You're just making out. I've ended this thing many times and he always agrees with me, but we soon find ourselves making out again. The heart wants what the heart wants. He wants to jizz his pants again. I'm becoming someone I don't like.

I can't stand what I could be doing to the children. Okay, I'm gonna stop right here for a second. What, like, what, what could you be doing to the children? All you do is make out. Like, could you, actually, no, you're right. That is bad for the children. Cause the children would be like, oh, so we should never have sex.

We just come our pants off. And daddy can only come his pants. Right. They're developing a very unhealthy and unrealistic picture of what sex looks like. You should come your pants much quicker than 10 minutes. Yeah, that's a shit little foreplay, bro. Yeah, this guy's actually really good at coming his pants.

Really good. Like, this is the Casanova of heavy petting. Is this Rick Petino? This is Marathon Man, no. Does Rick Petino have small children? No, dude. 10 minutes, you're right. This guy's Marathon Man.

Okay. I can't say what I could be doing to the children. If this comes out, I'd ruin their lives. I'm jealous of his wife, who has been nothing but kind to me. This lady thinks very highly of herself to think that her making out with her dads could ruin their children's lives.

Yeah, like, this will destroy like, generations of their family. Because you made out with the babysitter and came to pants. I'm so hot that the dad wanted to make out. Is this written by Mira Cervino? I don't know. The lady from American Beauty? Oh.

Kevin Spacey gets shot. Oh, yeah, he does. And he dies. But before that, he makes out with his daughter's friend. Yeah, yeah. And it's weird because you never think about how it's weird, how the colonel comes over and the Kevin Spacey's like, yo, bro, I'm not gay.

Yeah, the colonel, the homophobic colonel. Yeah, but then Kevin Spacey's like, yo, bro. I'm not gay. The homophobic colonel, he had like, Nazi paraphernalia in his house. Yeah, that was the place. And his son was like, artistic and yeah. It's a good movie, check it out.

I'm jealous of his wife, who has been nothing but kind. I know where they keep their condoms and I count them obsessively to know if they've had sex. Okay, hold on. Is a married couple with kids and they fuck with condoms and you still don't think this guy comes as pants? Like this is, this couldn't be more clear. What are you doing?

Yeah. You count their condoms? That's a very, very interesting. He jerks off with condoms too, by the way. Just so we know, like, just so you know, if you're listening to this random lady who kisses. Probably just walks around with one on. He absolutely does.

So when you- I keep that motherfucking thing on. When you're like, oh no, he's down to 18 condoms. He had 22 last week. No, he just jerked off four times this week. Uh-huh. Or made out with you. Yeah, but if you're a married dude with kids

and your birth control method is condoms, this is an issue. You should just, he should have a vasectomy. Yeah, he probably does. And still. He still uses condoms. He doesn't like the mess. I'm a minute and a half.

And by the way, we're not shaming because, listen, all guys go at their own pace. Some of us faster than others, whatever. All right. I've considered telling his wife about the affair, reasoning that she deserves, can we cool with the affair? Like, I don't know if this is a full blown affair yet.

It's a make out. It's a make out. Well, no, here's the thing. I think that this isn't a fair. It's been three years of making out. Okay. That's a long, that's a long time. That's like basically a marriage of making out.

Of never having sex, but only make out. I've considered telling his wife about the affair, reasoning that she deserves to know. But my true motivation is that I want to hurt him. Like he's hurt me. He uses me like a toy he plays with, then sets aside. Yep. Yeah.

You nailed that one. Exactly. Okay. Finishing up. I know I should find another job, but I truly love the children. I can't imagine not seeing them. She definitely is like,

she definitely gets really happy when the kids accidentally call her mom. Yeah. No, she's, I don't think that she loves the kids. She's probably not supervising them too closely because she's in the bedroom counting rubbers. Yeah, right. And the kids out there choking on building blocks.

And she's like, wait, no, I thought there were two ribbed ones and two lubricated and one that was the fire and ice. What happened to the fire and ice? And the kids out there blew in the face because he's dead. Yeah. He's probably reading Hogwarts in that nice yellow room. I'm scared that I love him.

I've dated other people during the course of our affair, but no one makes me feel the way the dad does. Yeah, because no one, no one has a three year relationship where you only make out. So of course this is going to be a very unique feeling to this man. Yeah, so maybe try that.

Try dating a guy who you only make out with once a week and he comes in his pants and see if that feels the same as your relationship with the dad. There are a lot of dudes out there that could probably fit that exact building. Yeah, the make out date is a very, very weird move because she's probably like, I guess she's wanting more.

I would hope so. I would hope so. Maybe. If this has been going on for three years. Can you just imagine like barges in passionately? This guy's wife doesn't make out with him. That's a problem. Yeah.

Like he fucks, he's using a shitload of condoms. So he doesn't want to have sex with you because he's getting that. Don't want to shame her, but yeah, she's a bad guy. Maybe she's got braces. Maybe she's had braces for the last three years. She's aggressive with her tongue. Yeah.

Yeah. All right, finishing up. Where do I find the strength to leave this situation? I feel sick and hopeless. Why can't I seem to quit? I think you got to ride it out to the kids go to college. Oh, signed haven't hit my breaking point. So that's great.

So you actually just keep going. You just literally said, you just answered your own question. Haven't hit my breaking point. You're good. Yep, you're fine. Keep making out with this fucking dude. Jesus Christ, I would love to have this person on. God damn it.

And then I don't know, the person who responded like probably gave the worst of it. Like probably like, you got to leave. This is a bad situation for the kids. No, you just got to tell the dude to stop coming as pants. You know? Yeah. You got to get science here.

No, it really isn't. I think if the guy was better at sex, then you would probably not be in a weird situation. You probably would have had a full bone affair and then. You'd be pregnant. Yeah, and then it would be really messy and they'd get a divorce and you'd feel shame and then the whole thing would just fall apart.

So if anything, he's, how bad he is at sex is saving everyone here. That's a great point. Yeah. So more guys should be better at sex. Nature needs more guys that come themselves too quickly. Exactly. From a like Darwinian perspective,

it's actually an advantage. Guys evolved to nut fast. Right. So we can spread our seed and be more efficient so that we don't get killed when we're, like having a romantic tryst by a wandering, like a woolly mammoth. T-Rex, yeah.

Just comes and eats us. Yeah, listen, this is millions of years of genetic programming. You don't want to get caught in a prone position. Yeah, telling us to nut. Like if you look at the chart, the evolution of man chart. Yeah. The next one past Homo erectus is Rick Petino.

Yeah. He's maximized his efficiency. Exactly. Exactly. Sexual efficiency. You ever wonder why he's got a whistle in his mouth? That's why. That's exactly why.

All right, that's our show. We will see everyone Thursday for our best of and then have a happy new year and we'll see you for a new show on January 2nd. Love you guys. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop,

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