Pardon My Take - Rob Gronkowski, This Is March, James Harden Pooped Himself, And Lebron Is Still Insane

Episode Date: March 2, 2020

This Is March. We've finally arrived at the second best sports month on the Calendar (2:27 - 16:30). Tony Romo got PAID, combine wrap up, and new Tom Brady news (he went to a basketball game) (16:30 - 19:23). Who's back of the week including Tommy Lasorda and Dave and Busters (19:23 - 33:46) . Rob Gronkowski joins the show to talk retirement, how he loves starting Tom Brady rumors, and reading (33:46 - 52:17). Segments include PR 101 for James Harden pooping himself, Sabemetrics for Jayson Tatum and an all time Bruce Arians rant and a Tim Tebow Update.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have recurring guest Rob Gronkowski. We actually forgot we had this interview because we did so many in the last couple of weeks, but- And also because hanging out with Rob Gronkowski is a drug, so we blacked out. Yes, but then I read it back and it is very, very funny because Rob Gronkowski is a very

funny individual. We have Tony Romo, we have a Tom Brady update, which I think is just going to be part of the show until he decides where he's going to play football next year, who's back of the week, PR101 for James Harden, maybe pooping his pants, and a lot more from a great sports weekend. Pardon my take is brought to you by the Cash App, not only is it the easiest place to send money to your friends, but it's also the place where you can buy fractional shares of stock with as little as one dollar.

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Today is Monday, March 2nd. This is March. This is officially March. One of the best sports months of the entire calendar. Easily. Easily. There's just something about when the calendar turns to March. I talked about it last week.

The air starts to get a little bit warmer. March Madness is here. St. Patrick's Day. It's like, ooh, here comes spring and you get to basically watch sports all March long and get to say this is March. I think we're going to break a record this year for the amount of times this is March is uttered. Shout out to our friend John Rostine for creating that phrase.

I would actually say that March is having a moment right now. Yes. March is hot for sure. Yeah, I love everything about the sports month of March. It's probably the best day drinking month of the entire year too. Agreed. Agreed. In terms of sports.

Yeah, in the summer like you just day drink all the time. Yeah, day drinking whilst watching sports. That's what I think of when I think of March. I think of conference tournaments and college basketball. I think of the obviously the NCAA tournament which has four of the biggest day drinking days. Yes. Just of the entire calendar year.

It's the best time to basically be like, well, I'm watching a game at noon. Might as well have a beer. Fellas, time to start scheduling those vasectomies right now. Like we all do. Oh, bro, you're late. Like we all do. You're late if you've been, if you're scheduled right now. You have been scheduled.

No, I have a standing appointment every year. You kind of schedule that thing and it's seriously ridiculous. I have season tickets to my urologist. It's just like you come in the day before the NCAA tournament. Just like all the fellas do. It's packed in there. Who's who's overworked more in the month of March, urologists, bartenders or tax attorneys. Definitely not tax attorneys.

Well, I mean, this is like their April is their month. No, but they have to gear up for April. Yeah, but all this is the time when anyone you know who works in taxes is like going to be at the office on Saturday going to be at the office on Sunday. You know, the biz, so the big time tax biz. Always fun. All right. So that was, so it's March.

We're excited for March. The other big news that happened this weekend, Tony Romo got fucking paid. Was it 17 million a year, 17 million a year, possibly 10 year contract, holy fucking shit. That means that he's going to make pretty much a million dollars a game. Now my big question is, does he get to skip certain games to go playing golf tournaments still? I think he probably has to show up for every game if he's getting paid that much per year. Yes.

I don't know. Not worth it, Tony. If you can't sneak away to playing like the Bob Hope program on like October 11th, is it really worth it? He is. We had a bunch of people saying like, oh my God, look at Tony Romo's first contract, the NFL now look at how much he's making. Yeah, he's making a lot, a lot more.

He's making a lot more. I thought there was also a take that they shouldn't sign the CBA because Tony Romo's going to be making more broadcasting than like 90% of the league. I don't really know how those are correlated, but let's go for it. Why not? Tony Romo's rich. Do you have to take into account the fact that if he was going to go to ESPN, he would have to work nights and that's like it.

Maybe he doesn't like staying up late. Well, yeah. No, I agree with that. Last I heard, the number 20 million got thrown out there. And I don't know if they, I don't know if they were actually thinking about paying him 20 million, but the fact that they said 20 million and I was like, yeah, okay, I could see it. Well, that's what got him up to 17 million.

It was the perfect right place, right time for Tony Romo. And obviously he's good at his job, even though so was announcing, I don't know, but he's obviously good as job, but it was the right place, right time because ESPN and ABC want to get in the Super Bowl rotation and they don't have a booth right now. It's always been in flux. So they're like, Hey, if we get Tony Romo, everyone loves Tony Romo. We'll get the fucking Super Bowl. I think they're also thinking that the NFL just loves Tony Romo.

I love Del absolutely has a boner for Tony Romo. And I think they were just ESPN was thinking if we get him in our booth, then maybe we'll get like some Steelers Patriots matchups on Monday Night Football. Figure it out later. Maybe they'll stop giving us like Jets Browns all the time in Monday night. And so that to them would have been a good investment, just like having a guy that Roger Gidele likes working for your company will make Roger Gidele just like give you all the business advantages.

Absolutely. All the money. Absolutely. So that was the big news in non sport world sports, but in the broadcasting world, I would say that this is Broadcasting's equivalent of winning a Super Bowl. Just in general, like the sport of broadcasting, this is their biggest moment. I actually not maybe not winning a Super Bowl, but it's like their Bryce Harper contract. Right.

You know, like, Hey, everyone's going to eat better because this guy got paid. Tony Romo lifts the entire League of Rising tide lifts all boats Tony Romo and JFK. Hell yeah. Wait, was that JFK? I think it was. I don't know. It was Noah. Actually, Noah said that.

No Bible. He said that. I was singing JFK said it when his brother went over the bridge and then left the car. Gotcha. All right. So we also have the combine combine wrap up. So we have a couple of stories from the combine one Isaiah Simmons wowed everyone, which isn't really like that.

I love when the combine when a really good player does something great to the combine. Like, yeah, he was a really good player. He was always a really good player. He was awesome at clumsiness. But now we can measure him. Yes. Now we can measure him. We had wait.

So his his measure was though. He ran what like a four three nine or something like that yard dash is like 240 pounds broad jumped 11 feet was like a 35 36 inch vertical. He's a freak. He's a freak. He gets the freak label. Every year at the combine, they should declare a winner. Well, we had a few freaks.

So so Isaiah Simmons was up there. Jonathan Taylor actually was up there too, because he ran a 40. I think he ran a four three nine 40, which was the fastest 40 for running back over 225 pounds. So it was basically he and say Juan Barclay are the only ones who've done that. So I feel like every year, power and speed, like I get less and less impressed by the numbers. Oh, because I've seen him so much.

Right. Like I you lose track of what an insane. You said how fast was it for three eight three nine for somebody that big to run that quickly? Okay, it's actually scary. Hold on. Hold on. I got one more for you then. If you like that one PFT, keep your pants on.

You're ready for this Louisville's offensive lineman, Mackay Bekton, 364 pounds ran a five 1140 five 1140. That's so much faster than any of us could run a 40 and he's 364 pounds. That's terrifying. And it's also great for an offensive lineman because like no offensive lineman ever has to run 40 yards. Right. I think like if you were to take all the offensive lineman right now for the most part, let's

call him like five six year veterans in the NFL. Most of them would not crack five five because you don't train for like explosive burst of speed like over the course of 40 yards. You're like a short yardage. How about how about the fact that half the plays they legally are not even allowed to run down the field? Right. So it's their back pedals get better.

It's great that we have that though. It was actually one of those 40s that was very impressive to just see a man that size moving that fast. You're like, holy fuck, these guys are such insane athletes, even the fat guys. Most impressive 40s of my life. I would say Don Terry Poe's 40 that he ran like eight years ago when he was just a massive dude moving big to Davion Clowney when he ran the hand timed one that came in unofficially super super fast.

Chris Johnson. Chris Johnson. Shaquem Griffin when he ran like a four three one and then they had to change and add like a couple of hundreds of a second to it. And then obviously Chris Jones when his dick broke through his pants. Did you see Henry Ruggs running his 40 and they put up the fastest 40 times since 2003 and it's literally just a list of bus. No, no one is good on it.

So it was like Heyward Bay, Jacoby Ford, JJ Nelson, Calico. I don't even remember that guy. Good win. The 49ers, Mathis and John Ross. Okay. But John Ross speed is not good. Too early to tell with John Ross, Heyward Bay, not a not a terrible career, but if you'd been picked like late in the first round, yeah, we won't call it a bus.

But since the Raiders, that's on Mark Davis. Well, it was one of those moments that I think, you know, every now and then you catch yourself having a thought that then Skip Bayless is actually going to use a whole show to make that same point. But I had the thought while I was watching it is being really fast actually bad. Is there a point where being so fast is diminishing returns? Yes. Yes.

Because then everyone said Tyreek Hill and I was like, yeah, good point. Well, that's only if you have a quarterback with a giant arm. True. So if the faster you are, the faster you're out of position. And you maybe don't run the routes as well because you can't keep your body under control. You learn it as a crutch. Like maybe a DK Metcalfe. Hard to get in and out of cuts.

And then the last combine story, I don't know if you saw this PFT, but I love this story. We have, we're slowly getting the leaks of combine interviews. So this was a leak. There's actually, I think a video got leaked out. Washington Tackle, Trey Adams was asked, if you could change anything about yourself, what would it be? Can you guess what he said? If you don't know the answer.

If you could change anything about yourself, the fact that I went to college at Washington. Okay. He, his answer was close. A bigger dick. Really? Yes. He said I would like to have a bigger dick. Okay.

Pretty fucking honest. Well, why not? And listen, this doesn't imply that he has a small penis. No, I think it's a bigger one. If you ask like any guy, it doesn't matter if they're like two-tone Malone or whatever his name is. Yeah. But yeah, I'd be nice to have a couple of extra inches.

There is that one guy who, I remember that story. I think he was in India. He had such a big dick that he was like, it's actually painful. Yeah. And like it, he reaches the point where it's painful for your partner too, but even get it. No, he didn't actually like carry it. Every guy had to carry it.

He had to like pick it up and carry it when he walked. Throw it over his shoulder. Yes. Like a backpack. So he's the only person in the entire world who would answer that question. I would actually kind of like to maybe have a smaller dick. Yeah. You could always listen.

Guys will always want a faster car, a little bit more money and maybe like a couple inches on the head. Yeah. So good, good answer by him. Very honest answer. So that was, that was the combine wrap up. By the way, if you want to watch us, barstoolgold.com slash PMT, we have the Gronk interview. Video taped.

Obviously, we were with him down in Superbowl. What were you going to say, Peter? One other thing. So at the combine, went out on Wednesday night, ran into Rich Eisen, who ran the 40 in 5.98 seconds, which is pretty huge. He just always tries to break six seconds next year. For St. Jude. Next year, you should have to put on a body vest that makes him the size of Mackay Bekton

and see how fast. Fast suit. Yeah. He has put on 150 pounds or whatever. He has to get dressed up as the nutty professor and then run the 40. That would be like put a new wrinkle on it. I know it's for charity and it makes it fun and it is fun, but let's start some new wrinkles. Let's let's go fat suit or maybe he even has to gain that weight between now and next

year. So I ran into him at at the steakhouse bar there on Wednesday night. I was like, Hey, Rich, how's it going? He came out. You can say chilly. Yeah. I was at Chili's too. He's express.

He was picking up in the water like a tortilla salad or something. He shook my hand. He's like PFT. Good to see you. Uh, seriously, though, how come you guys said you wanted to kill me when you interviewed Brian Koppelman? Because we do. Like, sorry, Rich.

We have to kill you. It's called art. Yeah. It's called a fucking plot line. Listen, we're trying to tie up the end of one of the best TV series to ever hit prestige television. And the only way to do it would be to just calmly slit your throat. Watch your bleed out.

We'll make it quick. Yeah. We'll make it dramatic. Right. We only have one chance. There's only one chance to film this. Honestly, like I would probably think about giving my life if it meant one of the greatest series of television history would ever land the plane correctly.

Right. I'd be fine with that. If you could basically say no one can complain about this finale if I get murdered on screen in it, but in real life, right, you'd have to at least think. So let's just take one for the team. We like you, but I mean, do the right thing. Yeah. Do the right thing.

All right. So we now have to do our Tom Brady update, which is going to be part of this show pretty much every single day, part of every show in the world until he decides where he's playing football. Hank, where are you? With the Tom Brady, Julian Edelman lip reading, Julian Edelman was clearly saying he's coming back. He's coming back.

Then there was Tom Brady. I don't know if you saw his PFT on the Syracuse sideline saying either said, I'm not this guy or he said this guy. I'm not or this guy. I'm not this guy. No, he said this guy like look at Edelman because the one, the body language was interesting because Edelman was saying it and then Edelman was like, wait, Tom's not laughing. And then Tom said, this guy, see, it was reassuring to me.

The body language to me was like an older brother, little brother situation. I've seen it with like you guys before where I say something that it's like funny, you know, we're messing around, but you guys might not think it's funny. But to me, it was more of like a, they've talked Edelman felt comfortable enough to be like, he's coming back knowing that he's going to come back eventually and Brady's look was like the, come on, man, like this guy, like this guy, this guy's really doing this right now. And I'm sure behind the scenes was like, what the fuck?

Yeah. I was saving it for my Hulu ad. And as far as rabble goes, when you win a championship, when you win, like they're close, obviously they're friends. They're all friends. They've won championships together. Like they're boys. It's not weird for you to FaceTime your boy, I don't, I don't, that for me is like an overblown

like, oh my God, he's going to the Titans. Like that's not how that operation will be going. Brady would never be doing serious talks to know, to know that we would have to get, and I wish we had, I wish this had happened before we had talked to Coach Rable, but we would have to know how many times does Vrable FaceTime with Edelman and Brady in like a given year. Okay. So we need Julian to send us.

Julian, you're listening to us right now. Send us a screenshot of your most recent FaceTimes so we can do the math on that. I feel like, yeah, the Tom Brady look where he's like, come on, man, you're embarrassing me like play cool. That's probably a look that Tom Brady gives no less than 15 times a day because he's always hanging out with somebody that is like little brother, no one is Tom Brady's big brother. It's, yeah, it's a weird dynamic for him now that he's been in the NFL for like two

decades that everyone he hangs out with is 20 years old. Yeah, I kind of like working at Barstool. I also always assume that whenever there's like a wide receiver hanging out with Tom Brady in public somewhere that that guy's on Mali. Yeah. Like Wes Welker. Or about to be cut. Yeah.

One or the other. But yeah, if I were Hank, hypothetically, this would, this would definitely scare me a little bit. The fact that, that Vrable and Brady are talking to each other and communicating a little bit. It's also this story has gotten to the point where if Tom Brady is seen in public, it's a story about which way he's going. Yeah. Like he is, he just has to exist and it's a headline.

I'm so glad that it's reached this point for Tom Brady too because we never, we never had that before. Right. We've never ever been able to discuss like what if Tom Brady is not a patriot? I think part of him actually likes, you know, the fact that this is, you know, everyone's going to talk about, Hey, he's a free agent. He's still one of the best quarterbacks in the league. Like that's part of why being a free agent is fun.

And as we've said, though, on this show, he is going back to New England. Yes. We reported that. We have reported that. We put our reputation that we don't care about on that fact three. It was a consensus, a consensus, unanimous opinion. Yeah. All three of us got together.

We talked about it and that was what we decided. Maybe Tom Brady will try to go into the booth. Tom Brady could probably get paid more than Tony Romo to go into the booth right now. How awesome would that be? By the way, he's coming out of the no, you know, who really has made money this weekend and paid many pay, pay is going to get a big time offer because he always said he didn't want to do it. He didn't want to do it while Eli was still playing.

So pay pay going to get paid paid. How awesome would that be, though, if it was like if Aaron Rodgers retired just to get paid more money than Tony Romo like tomorrow to go to ESPN and have and like immediately have he and Tessitore have like an icy relationship. Yep. Right out of the gate. All right. Let's do our who's back of the week.

Hank, would you like to start? I would love to start. Okay, great. My who's back of the week big cat is your boy, Jim Calhoun. Oh, yes. I saw this. So apparently he's a coach still, which I didn't know. I thought he was retired.

He's a coach at a D3 school. They didn't have men's basketball like three years ago. Three years ago. They didn't even accept males at the school in 2016. Correct. They didn't have a team until two years ago last year. They were 16 and 20, 16 and 12 this year. He won a championship.

Pretty nice. Cut down the nets. Built that program from the ground up. It would be nice if we could get some old school interviews after bad loss, but I don't know if that's in the cards. I don't know how cameras are media availability. There was. He did.

They did show him cutting down the nets, which was pretty cool. I can't imagine how much it must have sucked for those kids. Like the first few weeks of him being their coach when he realized like, oh, these kids are. These kids are not. Well, it must suck for the kids to be like, they're like, they're Jim Calhoun is just like, you guys are terrible. Like you're not.

You're not. You have to play better. Yeah. Also have to be better. He started the program itself, right? Yes. Okay. So that I mean, this could be a blueprint for building other programs.

You find an all girl school. Probably super easy to recruit guys to go play basketball at an all girl school and the ratio is like probably 60 to one. And so then you just build it that way. You get like a couple of nice horny recruits in the door, some big names that just like to fuck a little bit, get them on campus. And then next thing you know, three years later, you're sitting on top of the division. And the best part about this whole program that he's built is that he's now at a place

where it seems like they're good enough that he can step away and Kevin Olly could come in and actually win a game. So I assume Kevin Olly is still looking for a job somewhere. Worst coach ever to win a national title. Oh, that's spicy. I mean, I don't know who else we could put on that list, but he won it. Oh, dude, I'm getting flat for your. I know, I got that the other day.

No, big cat. Like big cat. Why are you going to always bash iso? It's like, dude, I don't. That's BFT. No, there's so many times that I bash iso and big cat. You're silent. You're notably silent.

Yeah, you're right. In fact, if you subscribe to Barstle Gold, you would see big cat nodding his head when I'm making my time. I actually am. Yes, you are. Yes, I am. Number one. Tom is a hater.

Big cat. It is give him all the slack when Michigan State somehow limps their way to a national championship. I've somehow gotten into the it happens like every few months where I just have people on Twitter like randomly tweeting me players from their favorite college team saying say something nice about this guy. And I usually oblige a few times, but then it gets it's spiraled to like I have to say something nice about a fucking bench guy on Indiana basketball.

I want to put a take out there into the ether real quick. I think this is your Gonzaga makes a final four. Oh, it's wide open. They got a good team. I see. I like that take. I mean, historically, the the kind of show in the tournament have never gotten that far. So this could be their year.

The exact year. Mark few best coach to never make a final four. Correct. I think that's actually also a fact. Yep. Okay. PFT. Who's your who's back?

My who's back of the week is practical jokes. So not only are the impractical jokers making a movie, but I got practical joked big time in Vegas this weekend. How so? Big time. So practical joked you into wearing a dress again. No, that was me. My own brain.

And yes, I did get tricked by myself. Actually, no, it wasn't. You look good. I look great in the dress. I'll be honest with you. You're also like, we're teetering. I think that's like three or four in the last couple of years. We're teetering.

Like, do you just want to do it? Worn a dress? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I did wear one with Ivanka. And also no, no, no. Super Bowl. I wasn't wearing a dress.

Oh, that's true. I was wearing a tasteful card again. Yes. Yes. The jeans. Okay. I had a bra, but no dress. I feel like this time I dressed no bra.

Yeah. You know what, dude? It's okay. We're like, we're all cool with it. I'll be honest with you. It was very comfortable. It looks comfortable. You look good.

Pooping was awesome in the dress. But after... You looked like someone who would like bang 16 dudes at Woodstock with those glasses on. That's awesome. In the mud. Yes. Just lose your mind and be like, I don't know what happened. Woodstock too.

It was sick. But no, I got practical joke hard. I walked onto an elevator in the Las Vegas casino in the lobby. Get on there. And there are three people on the elevator. They happen to be Asian. And then the door shuts. And then two of them start immediately coughing, going, oh, that's good.

And the third goes, I'm sorry, we're from China. And then he starts sneezing. And then as it's going up, they're like, we have coronavirus. Oh, no. And I just started cracking up. It was such a good impractical joke. I was like, that's funny. But ever since I told people that story, people are like freaking out.

They're like, I would have punched them in their face. That's fucked up. It's like, no, you don't know that great impractical joke. That's very good. All time practical joke. Yeah, that's just playing at the, you know, the casual racism of America. Well, yeah. Imagine going to a country like China and having the confidence to do that exact

same to a Chinese person that got an elevator with you in their country. That's a great joke. So like I high fived him. We've shared a good laugh. Part of his friends. And now I got a really, really tickly throat and my nose can't stop. Fever, by the way, a little update on coronavirus and sports analogies that we did on Friday in the Toronto Star.

The headline on the front page was the Gretzky of viruses. The great one. That's we decided to come up with that. Yeah, I yeah, Gretzky was really good. Yeah. So that means that playing on time. I was going to say that gold. That means this virus would have wiped out half the face of the earth in the 80s. Yeah.

When you don't know how to goaltend. Yeah. When goalies and nowadays. Good at all. Pretty much ineffective. You just put the fat guy in goal. Embrace the Bay. Are we going coronavirus or are we going covid 19? I think covid 19 out of respect for the Corona beer company that's taking a really hard time and they've lost a lot of money, a lot of money. And it was and it's very funny because that's just how like our brains work.

Oh, that's named like that. Like if it was the Big Mac virus, McDonald's would be in the fucking toilet. Well, do you think that maybe this virus was named by a competitor? That's true. Takate, if it was, they got their hands on it. Yeah, we endorse that. I will if it was by Bud Light. I will singlehandedly try to drink Corona back into profitability this year.

That's my promise. One man's one man's promise. I like covid 19 just because it kind of sounds like a like a porn site for college freshmen that definitely gives you a virus. Yeah, for sure. Yes. Yes. Absolutely. Absolutely. Is that your who's back anymore? That's my who's back. OK. My who's back. I got two. Tommy Lasorda's back.

I don't know if you guys saw he's got a he's doing an event at Buster's. At Buster's. And he had this, the Photoshop. David Buster's put into a clip that we'll put out there. Let's see. Here we go. Wait, I want to read it. Graphic design is my passion. It is. It is incredible how how good this Photoshop is. It doesn't even say anything at the top.

It says presents a rare spring training public appearance by Tommy Lasorda. And then signing will be hosted at Dave and Buster's Westgate Entertainment District. And then it also says with every autograph or photo op ticket purchase, you will receive a $20 coupon towards match play and 10 percent dining discount match play. That's huge. Yeah. A coupon only available March 7th. So the day of the signing. OK. So you spend it.

He really used a lot of his budget on this signing on his Photoshop because we have one, two, three, four, five different colors of font. Well, there you go. I mean, if you have such a great product, you don't really need to spend that much money to market it. It pops. You let it do the sales for you. And if we have any listeners out there that want to go attend this, I would love to see a photo photo opportunity with Tommy Lasorda at a Buster's.

Yes. Maybe get him on the air hockey table. Yes, please just get there with Tommy. Let's see it. Oh, and also says all drop offs or mail in terms must be shipped to Bobilmania store by Tuesday, March 3rd. No exceptions. And they just spelled exceptions wrong. So you have to you have to mail your stuff to a store to get it. So then Tommy's going to sign it and then give it to you in person. Right. And you go to Dave and Buster's and pretend that he's there.

OK, that sounds like a good idea. And then my other who's back is Barry Sanders, because the world forgot about him. So we had Garth Brooks post the picture. He was doing a concert in Detroit and he was wearing a Sanders 20 jersey. And everyone on Facebook flipped out and was like, dude, I like your music, but I hate your politics. How could you endorse Bernie Sanders? People just forgot that Barry Sanders existed. So now we're back to everyone remembering that Barry Sanders did, in fact, exist.

And he wore 20 within Barry Sanders. He asked Garth Brooks if he wanted to be his running mate for president. That would be great. A couple of Oklahoma guys. Yes. That would be wonderful. Sanders Brooks. Honestly, I would endorse a Barry Sanders presidency. What if what if Bernie's a great laugh? Bernie should have him be the VP. Sanders Sanders. Oh, I like that.

Now now we're talking Sanders Sanders 2020 2020. There you go. Now we now. And just all all Barry has to do is just talk about the games where he just went off and scored a lot of touchdowns. Just. Yeah. All Barry has to do is just read his stat sheet from college where he was like, check this out. Three hundred and sixty yards, four touchdowns, four kick returns. Yeah, like, check this out.

You guys didn't think I could score in this game. I scored seven touchdowns. Oh, other massive who's back of the week is Andy Dalton. Yes. So you want to talk about the body is ready because he is being linked to the Chicago Bears. Yes. I am very ready for this. I would love for Andy Dalton to get in that room, have a little QB competition. No, no wrong answers when your QB competition is Andy Dalton and Mr.

Biscay. I mean, you've been daydreaming about Andy Dalton as a quarterback of the Bears for what, 10 years? Dude, he would look he kind of works on the color scheme. The whole thing is great. It's perfect. He would fit in really well with that color scheme. You're absolutely right. The red hair would pop. The freckles would pop. And I mean, if he got the Bears to a Super Bowl, then you'd be vindicated for your spicy take that ruined your friendship with Jay Cutler.

Yes, yes, this would actually be perfect. Everything all my worlds would come back to, you know, being right where I thought it was six years ago when my brain was very, very dumb. Since I'm talking about we're talking about my team. Let's talk about your team real quick. They lost to the Tampa Bay Vipers. You're talking about the D.C. defenders? Yeah. Hank, did you see that?

My team, the Vipers. Don't say my team like I'm on the team, big cat. I'm not on the team. Hank said you lost to the Vipers like 16 times when we're watching that game. Dipers, dude, Mark Trestman, the Vipes, handy ass uniforms and three gross baby barf, pee, soup, ass helmets. Yeah, it was it was nasty. It was a bad game. Verbal mean, verbal mean Vince Carter doing the dunk, but the French guys

PFT and Vince Carter's Katie Nolan. No, that's no, we're not going. We're not going at that level just yet. You got viced, bro. He's got no ups. You got viced. This was an aberration this week. Next week, we're back at home against the Battle Hawks, dude. More like the Battle Hawks.

There you go. Now you're back. Now I'm back. Now that sounds like a good thing. Renek, yeah, that actually sounds very formidable. Like, are you thinking like a penis with a helmet on it? Or are you thinking like a rooster with I'm thinking of a penis holding a sword with maybe a shield. Prince Albert. Yeah. Well, no, we got the shield in ours. Oh, they stole it.

Yeah. I mean, that's why it's rivalry week. So yeah, that's another rivalry week. Every week is rivalry week in the XFL East. Throughout all the record books, dude, you can't lose the Vipers. Well, we're back to 500. That's fine. We're going back home. We know Jim actually was right. The D.C. defenders can't win on the road.

We are the D.C. defenders. Our name means that we defend our home in D.C. We can't go on the road. You guys are like the Sixers. We have to suck on it. It's tough to win on the road in the XFL. It's true. These crowds have 20,000 people in a hundred.

Yeah, in Tampa. There was one guy who had his shirt off. I would almost say it's harder to win in a stadium that has maybe 10,000 people and like a 60,000 person stadium. Yep. That's like zone because you put it down in your mind. You're like, oh, this game is not that. This is a real sport. They don't play in Northwestern.

Yeah, they're on their own fans don't even care about it. Why should I? This is going to be easy. And they grow out the grass in Tampa, too. Yeah. Oh, yeah. For sure. They grow. They do to slow down their the superior speed of their opponents. Also the humidity.

It's winter, of course. True. It's summer down south. It's brutal. It's brutal. All right, let's get to our interview with Rob Gronkowski. Before we do that, a quick word from our friends at Shady Raise. High quality shades for far less than expensive brands. Best warranty in the sunglass industry replacements

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That's what PFT wear, ShadyRays.com. PMT50 for 50% off. Two or more pairs at ShadyRays.com. Okay, here is Rob Gronkowski. All right, we now welcome on our good friend, retired. I thought we were best friends. Retired best friend, Rob Gronkowski, you know that voice. We've got the whole Gronkowski clan in here.

How many people are in the room? Probably like 20. Oh, they found the snacks. Yeah. Red alert. The best ones too. Someone's like, oh, I'm coming to Goldfish. And we're like, yeah, we know, we can hear them. Like coming from a mile away.

Just have footsteps and everything. Yeah, just everyone's yelling and screaming. Titty's bouncing up and down. It's like a live studio audience. Yeah. Wow. I heard my Titty's bouncing. Yeah, it's good.

I heard Big Cat's Titty's bouncing the other day. All right, so Super Bowl, you're here. Is it weird being here? And like you obviously were in a bunch of Super Bowls. Is it weird being here, seeing it from the other side and all that shit? No, no, not at all. Everyone asked me that question.

Is it weird not being at training camp? And is it weird not playing during the regular season? Is it weird not playing in the playoffs? And now is it weird not being at the Super Bowl? Right. No, man, it's not. You aren't on Sunday going to watch the game and be like, I kind of wish I could get out there.

Just for one game. Not saying it goes for training camp. Just for one game? That's the case. If I had a choice and I could play in the Super Bowl for one game, just that game, then I would probably do that. Yeah, yeah. All right, so Robert Kowski going to be back

for the Patriots next year if they get to the Super Bowl. Yeah, there we go. Meredith is breaking news. What the thing is, I have to come back before that day and then after that day, I just have to tell them they got to deactivate me every game until they make the Super Bowl. Right, yeah, Bill would totally agree to that.

Just be like, hey, I'm going to be here, but I'm not going to practice or play. Oh, he would love that. He'd be like, yeah, perfect. Oh, yeah, yeah, he believes in that for sure. Do you miss bed check? Not having a bed check and a curfew? That's only during training camp and the night before game,

but no, I don't miss it. I didn't mind that though, because I actually didn't like how the bed check was that late, because you try to get the, why stay up the night before game? And then the bed check would be at 11, and you're trying to go to bed at 10, and then they bed check at 11, and you're already sleeping, and they wake your ass up.

Right. That doesn't make a lot of sense, yeah. The NFL 100, the team, we didn't watch it. We're going to wait till July to watch it, because we thought it was stupid for them to reveal it in December, was like, we want to debate it, right? But I assume you made it. Yes, I did make it.

Was that cool? Yeah, it was cool, actually. It was an honor for sure. I mean, it's pretty fucking cool, yeah. It's the NFL Top 100 players of all time, and just to be in that category was just tremendous, man. It was a huge honor. And I actually have a great story

that you guys will definitely like in how I got to know, to be known that I was in the NFL Top 100 was, I had a, you guys want to hear the story? Yes, please, breaking news. You've never told it before, right? No, no, never told it before. There we go. And I was waiting for a time.

I even asked my brother. I go, bro, I was like, it's a great story. And I told him, but he's go, and I was like, I'm going to be able to save this story for a time. All right, wait, hold on. Real quick, before you start, this story's brought to you by Ice Shaker. Wow.

There you go. See, I always, I look up the grunts. I don't do this. What size? The double size Ice Shaker? Double size, yeah. All right, so here we go. I got a phone call from New York, and it's no caller ID.

And I'm just sitting there like, man, I don't want to answer this phone call. Like, I don't want to answer it. But you know, I'm bored. I'm sitting there debating. And so I don't answer. So then it calls back again. And I'm like, ah, I'll answer.

I'm whatever. I'm going to mess around. Let me mess around with this phone call, though. So I answer. I'm like, hello, hello, how is this? Hey, Rob. This is Roger Goodell. This is Roger Goodell.

It's just Rob Gronkowski. And I was like, hello, hello. And I'm just thinking, man, this is why I don't answer. People pranking me. People prank me. Rob, this is Roger Goodell. I'm looking for Rob Gronkowski. Hello, hello.

This is Rob Gronkowski there. Hello. And I'm like, no, just hang up. And I just hang up. I'm like, yeah, they're not getting me. They're not getting me. So then two days later, the phone call comes back again.

And I'm sitting there like, yeah, we're like, no way. I'm not answering. That's definitely not him. He would have left me a message on another two phone calls that I didn't answer. So later that day, then he calls again. The number calls again. And then this time, they leave a voicemail.

And I was like, OK, finally, they leave a voicemail. And I listen to the voicemail. And it ends up being Roger Goodell again. And I'm like, hey, it's, hey, Rob, it's Roger Goodell. Just looking for you. I'm not sure if this is the right number or not. That's what he says. And I just want to congratulate you, man.

You may have made the NFL top 100 players of all time. And I'm just sitting there like, man, I'm not sure. But when I did hang up the first time, I was thinking my head like, it kind of sounded like him. But that was classic. Like I go, but if it was him, he'll find a way to contact me another way. To make the story shorter.

I mean, it ended up being him. It ended up being him. And then your team, and then your 100. Right. And then I called him back, called the office back that he told me a call. And I called him back and talked to him. He didn't bring up anything about that phone call.

That's amazing. When I see him, I can't wait to bring it up. I can't wait to bring up him. But, yo, who did you think that was going? Hello! Hello, Jesus! I couldn't imagine Rob Gernkowski getting that honor in any other way.

Like, that's the perfect story. That should be the voice that you use in your hall of fame acceptance speech, too. Yes. Yes. Are you starting to think about that? Maybe that's when you break out your first DJ set. Yes, exactly.

You just had the tables up there for in Canton. Yeah, the tables up there. Like, it's actually a party, guys. Or just get, like, an LMFAO to give you a backtrack to it. Yeah, put them, yeah, have them just, you know, LMFAOing, like, shuffling right there. Yeah. All that good stuff.

But, yeah, on a serious note, have you thought about what you're going to say when that happens? No, no, I haven't. But I could definitely bring that story up. That would be a great story, you know. Or even if I get asked about the LFAO 100 now, that's a perfect story. You know, you guys have a first.

I don't even think I have to tell it again, because everyone listens to the first tool now. No, everyone will listen to that, so you're good. David Baker comes, the guy from the hall of fame, and knock, you know, that big dude, the 6'9", 400-pound guy, knocks in your door, just open it up, and you're, like, wearing a dress and lipstick. You're like, oh.

Yeah, oh. That's how you accept all your honors. Yeah, you Patriots ring of honor or whatever it is. They do the same thing. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. How many people have asked you where Tom Brady's going? A lot of people everywhere I go. Yeah, there's, there's, there's, like, let's go there.

We wouldn't ask. Like, this guy, like, we're in the same first class on a plane, and, like, you know, everyone's being respectful, and then, like, this other guy in first class, like, comes up to me, and he puts his phone like this. Like, he's not filming me. Oh, the worst. Yeah, the worst, yeah.

You always know. That's the worst. The worst. And I'm like, yeah, dude, first, I'm just thinking about it. Yeah, I don't see your phone. Like, yeah, you're just like that. But he's acting like he's, that's not up there. And he's like, so, oh, yo, Rob,

what do you think Brady's going to the Vikings? Like, that would be great. And, like, he's just trying to get, like, an answer on me. And the way he said it, he was, like, trying to get me going. Right. And I was just sitting there, and I was like, yeah, yeah, he's going to go to the Vikings and compete with Kurt Cousins, and they're going to have $255 million

quarterbacks on their team. Right. They'll be a great team. And then, and then I was just like, man, what was that guy thinking, like? Yeah, right. But it was funny because, like, you just had to be there for, like, the experience

because he just had his phone up thinking, like, I was going to give him an answer, like an inside info answer, and I didn't see his phone. Right. And that's when it started. It was, like, a week after the season. Right, I feel like that was the first time. And you're going to get asked a lot.

Oh, yeah, after every interview, everything. We're not going to do it. You'll never do that. All right, so when you talk to him most recently. Yeah. Well, let me read my answer. How does he sound like he was sitting? Where did he sound like he was sitting?

Were there, was there country music playing in the background? What state do you think he was sitting in? Was somebody eating hot chicken? Hey, Rob, it would be an honor if you asked to get released from your rights. I'd love for you to play with me in Chicago next year. There we go. OK.

So we can hang out with Big Cat more. Perfect. That's crazy. That just came through. No, like an hour ago. He literally just texted me. Yeah, that's nuts. Wow.

It's got to be like a little bit. You're going to have so much fun with his free agency. Oh, it's going to be incredible. It's like, am I coming back? Like, the only reason why I started being like, yeah, I might come back a week later, because I was just getting the question, if, like, from the very beginning, I was like, no, like, I'm not here.

0% chance. So they're like, yeah, right, yeah, right. Yeah, you're coming back. So then I was like, OK, a week later, they're like, yeah, right, you're coming back. So I was like, OK, this is something to play with now. Right. Like, I'm not just taking the, yeah, right, every time.

I'm going to start saying, yeah, I'm coming back. Right. You could do that. You have probably about two or three more years of that. I probably got like 10 more years to do that, because I'm coming back. You need to just release like a video every now and then. A video for yourself, tweet out the eyeballs.

Yeah. And then maybe like, you should come back as a receiver, getting skinny. And then maybe like five years, I can go eat some burgers every single day in beer. And I could be like, oh, I'm coming back as a lineman. Yeah, you know, you become a come out one day at 310 pounds and be like, he's coming back, but this time is a lineman.

Yeah, yeah. I like this. This is a fun spot for you to be. Yes. So you get to coming back and then you also get to be the Tom Brady whisperer. Yes, that's true. Right.

Do you still talk to him, though, for real? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I would assume you guys were pretty tight. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. So like when you talk to him, does he say, like, what is going to do?

I can't wait to go play for Coach Brable. Yeah, like. Oh, Brable. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I really am not sure, you know. I think I know he's going to check out his options. I can give you that one. OK.

Well, you know, how many? How many he's going to have probably 31 other options. Oh, yeah. But no, not 31. Kansas City Chiefs are looking at Tom Brady. Yeah. That's why I said no. Yeah, they are.

They're a little more rating because I can get them as you know, you know, million dollars in the back up. I mean, they would do that for sure. Yeah, there is. Yeah. So there's that's an option. That is an option. Yeah, so it's true.

How often do you think Mike Brable and Tom Brady talk? Man, I'm not sure. I mean, every time you watch them, they always give each other that big, you know, hug. Yeah, it sounds like they're close. How crazy would that be? Tom through touch on passes to Brable like back in the heyday. And now he's a coach.

And how crazy would that be? Actually, if he did go to Tennessee and would that would yeah, that would be right. So I want to talk real quick about your new career. You were doing some games on Fox or doing some pregame stuff on Fox and in your debut. I think you had perhaps the most spectacular line. Yes.

In any television. You know, I should have just retired off of off of that one. Yeah, I'm out. Imagine that just knocking two careers out and one in like in like just a couple months. Well, and then they're retiring from both of them. Right. And everyone could have been like, Rob, you were so good in

that one show when you're coming back. Yeah. Well, yeah. When you're coming back to play the comeback. Yeah, but that did happen after that show. Everyone kept asking all you and then I wasn't on for like two weeks and they're like, oh, I thought you were on every week. You're addicted to coming back.

Yeah. Yeah. We're talking about it. Yeah. Yeah, right. That could be my new career. Right. So I'm coming back career.

A comeback specialist. Right. So the line that you dropped was Julian Edelman's a squirrel and you know, he always gets that nut. Yes. When you wrote that down, were you like, how, how long did you laugh at yourself? You know, I didn't really, I didn't actually write that down.

It was actually, I, there was a couple other things we were preparing and then actually like 10 minutes before they're like, oh, Aaron Andrews is going to throw it to you too, Rob and you just talk about Julian and, you know, about his game and then I was just thinking in my head like, man, that's a good opportunity. They, you know, you got, you know, these analysts, you know, come up with nicknames for people and I was like, oh, I

could use his nickname to squirrel and then no lie. I thought of when I thought that he's called the squirrel. I remember my brother, Gord. He always wore this shirt, you know, a squirrel with a big nut in his hand and it says every squirrel always, what was like once in a while, every squirrel finds a nut or even a blind squirrel finds a nut and now it, what was it exactly? He's here.

What was the shirt again? Exactly. What was the exact saying on it? Even a blind squirrel can get a nut and that's, and I just pictured that and him wearing that shirt and I was like, wow, I can have those two together. Yes. Genius.

And that's where I came up with it. That's like your slum dog. But I went to the, I went, I turned around so no one could see me. I like practice it like three times in a row. The delivery was perfect. I'll get the delivery down. Do you know what today is?

It's, it's Thursday. I know that. I don't know. But it is my birthday. That's whatever they, it's your birthday. It's your birthday, man. My birthday is tomorrow. So really?

Yeah. Happy birthday tomorrow, man. No way. But because it's my birthday, people were treating it at me. Today is the 6,969th day since the year 2000. Really? That is so I knew, I knew it was going to be something like that.

Remember? That's pretty good, right? Remember when we were talking about how 69 when I was dialed? Yeah, right, kind of like, this is just, this is just. But that's, but that's, that's, that's, that just happened. So that's what I mean. It just has to happen naturally.

Today's 6,969. Yeah, 6,969. That is that like, so that's a, that's a day that you can, you know, after you go one time and you have to do it again. Never going to forget. Never going to forget that. Yeah, on my birthday. On your birthday, too.

On my birthday. So that is three times. Yeah, there you go. I would say the second most memorable thing that you did on TV this year was the black turtleneck that you brought. Oh yeah. You looked like Danny Cannell, if he was like a Silicon Valley swindler, you know, like Elizabeth Holmes mixed with Steve Jobs.

That's what Steve Jobs, that's what, that's the one I got a lot. I was going to say, I was going to say, too. Yeah, like we're like the same, too. Anyways, yeah, yeah, Steve Jobs and Robin Kowski, for sure. For sure. Those are one and the same. We look alike when we wear a turtleneck. It's true.

Everyone looks the same in a black turtleneck. All right, I got one last question. Rock to that one. I got back. Yeah. The rock. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a great one. All right, my last question.

Seeky question. Put in promo code, take you at $10 off your Seeky purchase. Are you still reading? Oh, am I reading? You know, I love to read. And you said that you started reading more. I did hands down and and I, you know, I just actually just started a book. I actually read like, literally, I read 25 pages of it.

My friend had the book and it's Ben Greenfield's book. And which one's that? It's called a bottomless. And I was just reading at my friends. I read 25 pages while just chilling. I went and ordered the book right away. So, you know, something. I was actually that's when I started doing a lot of that was reading when I

got a catchback up to it for sure. It's actually great. I love to do it. But another thing I like to do now is Sudoku. Like someone now that I like to do post someone sent me like this whole box of Sudoku puzzles to and I actually I bring it on the plane with me. I've completed 22 out of the 50 puzzles. So I feel like we're in like a time machine.

You just like discovered this. This is 2013. I just like, you know, it's cool to find things just while you're you know, while time is passing, like I'm playing instead of just sitting there, like doodling around, you know, to do do things like that. Yeah, yeah. So that's the one where you have to do all nine. Yeah, you fit all nine in the.

Yeah, all nine in the in the columns and vertically and horizontally. And then you got to have the nine in the box. Right. So to me, like I was intimidated because I think that it's math because there's numbers involved, but it's not really math, right? Yeah, no, it's not math. I mean, you just got to know numbers one through nine. So I mean, that might be a little difficult for some people.

Yeah, it might be. I mean, then everyone's not good with numbers like myself, right? Everyone's not terrible at reading like myself. Well, I got you so much better. You said you read actually like before, like I really when I started, I literally sat there and it took like to read two lines. Like it was like, it was really hard. Right.

But now I can actually read like a chapter. Yeah, you said that. I understand it. Yeah, like it's pretty cool. And back in the day when I read, I swear, English class every day. I just read. I didn't even know what I was reading. No, so much.

But yeah, I wish I started earlier. Back in the day, you said that you said it helps like when you're doing media and everything helps big time. And that's why I started doing it too. Yeah, it helps big time talking, all these interviews, doing all that. It literally helps out tremendously. All right, so there it is. Read more.

Yeah, read more. Start a book club. What's your favorite book? You know, I don't got that's what Marty Bennett does. He just wrote all these books. So to start a book club, I would have to be really on top of my game. Right. Yeah.

But that would be cool. I mean, you know, I'm good enough. I used to actually be scared to go read the kids. Right, like a kid's book, like a fourth grade, because there's always one or two big words in there, too. I could never read. Yeah. Yeah, no lie.

I didn't want to go to the class because I was scared of those one or two big words, but now I'm not scared. I'll go do it. You can join our Wikipedia club with Blake Portals, Wikipedia club. Okay, you want to know something? This is a, this is a classic. Your friend Dante right there from Barstool. The guy loves Wikipedia so much.

And you mean Wikipedia, though, is not always accurate. And my middle name on Wikipedia was Robert Paxton. And Gronkowski and Dante believed it the whole time. Robert Paxton. Yeah, he was in a chat and you were just like, oh, Rob, that's your full name. You like, and it was Robert Paxton. He had no clue. What's your middle name?

Robert James. Okay. Yes. Yeah. I was just talking about that. You remember that? Robert, Robert Paxton, Gronkowski. Yeah, there was a bag.

There was, but yeah, he went to Wikipedia, go find my middle name and he pulled that up. Paxton, yeah. That's crazy. Um, uh, one last question for me, Kittle or Kelsey? Oh man, that's, you know, they're both good players, but I'll go with Kittle. I mean, there you go. That's our guy.

I'm gonna be myself. That's our guy. You like Kittle. All right, good answer. And he's like, he likes to get dirty in the, in the, in the trenches. He throws people out of the club. Yeah, he does. He picks up people and he drops them.

And when he gets, when he gets that ball, he doesn't want to get tackled. Yes. He says that his dad writes him a letter before every single game. Yes. To motivate him. Did your dad ever write you any letters? No, not like that. No, but my dad, you know, throughout our years, definitely got us pumped up.

And if you talk to him, he has many hype up speeches. When he gets going, uh, it's tremendous to be around. I dad, I don't know. He's here. It was never letters, but he always had good hype up speeches when he always coached us. So, you know, everyone's different. My dad always brought that hype up speech to the games, especially when he was

coaching us when we were younger. He always got us going. He actually got the whole team going, uh, every time. So he's tremendous at that. So, uh, definitely. And I actually just met Kittle, uh, the other day, uh, you know, yeah, we just had to sit down actually Tony Gonzalez, Cal's, uh, Kittle and myself, and that would be on Fox as a little clip.

I'll be on before the Super Bowl. So that's a great clip. Uh, for sure. Okay. Awesome. Well, Rob, thank you as always. Go get your, uh, ice shaker. You can buy it online.

Oh yeah. You can buy it online. Ice shaker.com. Get yours now. Done. Done. Yep. Wow.

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Also, uh, when is LeBron just going to get old? Like this is ridiculous every single night. He is old, but he's not. He's not old 35. Can you imagine being 35 still thinking that you can go hang out with a bunch of young kids fucking brutal, man. Every single night. Every single night.

Every single night. Every single night. Every single night. Every single night. Every single night. Every single night. He's brutal, man. Every single night.

I know I'm a LeBron hater, but I'm just admitting that, like, it's incredible that he's still, I swear to God, last year, like, just probably added another six years to his career. Interesting. Just being able to sit out. Interesting. Interesting that he hasn't started to look older as he's gotten older. Also, Zion is the end one king of the world.

He gets whistles. He's our chunk boy. He gets whistles like he is a 10 year vet MVP and I love it. Well, he's going through hands. He goes through arms like it's butter. Goes through everything. All right. Speaking of the NBA, let's do a little PR 101 for James Harden, double PR 101 for James

Harden because he started the weekend by getting in a war of words with Giannis, which I think Giannis has actually been kind of asking for for a while. James Harden isn't really one to go back at people, but he finally did. We also need to get Rachel Nichols on the show here because this interview looked like they did it in, like, a closet. Yes. It was a little weird. Yeah.

She got James Harden to open up a little and James Harden said about Giannis, I wish I could be seven feet, run and just dunk. That takes no skill at all. I got to actually learn how to play basketball and how to have skill. That's kind of a fact. Yeah. I mean, except for the fact that Giannis is like insanely skilled, his game isn't just dunking.

But yeah, other than that, it is a fact. If you were short like me, you would understand that like six, five. Yeah, I know. But if you were short like me, this is like the last thing that we have. We can always say, like, man, you know what? Actually I truly believe if I was six foot five, I'd be in the NBA. Yeah. Shack wasn't good.

He was just bigger than everyone. Exactly. If you didn't let Shack dunk the ball, he wouldn't have been good at basketball. He had no touch, no footwork, nothing. He just dunked. Yeah. That's all he did. And then he shit himself.

Then he pooped himself. Which I will not shame him for that. Well, I will shame him because it didn't look like he pooped himself. I'm going to walk that back. It just looked like he didn't wipe properly. He didn't wipe properly or maybe maybe maybe a little too much time spent at the strip club the night before. Maybe had a little too much to drink.

He's at the casino the night before. He was at the casino. So there it is. So he had a big bullet chili in the night. Yeah. I don't even think it's the he might not have. It's not might not have been a wiping thing. It might have been just more like, Hey, he's just got a leaky ass.

You know those days you're like, Hey, this is going to be a leaky ass day. Sometimes it's like, yeah, you're farting on the bench and it's like, usually you have the red shorts. Like no one even notices. Right. You can't you can't even do those questionable farts if you're wearing the white shorts. You have to have awareness of the color of your pants at all times after you hit the age of like 27.

Yes. That's just a good rule to live by. Yes. It might be just maybe euro stepping. There's like a lot of swiping between your butt cheeks that happens. There's a plain question. A lot of friction. I noticed before I even saw the pictures like of the screenshot, but it was weird how long

he was on the ground at the end of the half and like that was from where the screenshot was from. Like I think something might have happened because it was like pooped himself. He fell on the ground and then he was on the ground like he was hurt for like 10 minutes, but he wasn't hurt. He was just farting. He was doing my fart pose, getting on the ground and letting it all out. I actually think that like as I'm like the dexter of poop spatter.

I'm like a poop spatter analysis guy. And to me, that just looked like his prolonged exposure to small amounts of poop that was on his butt. Yeah. So I'm just thinking he didn't wipe well. That's not like I shit myself brown stain. It's tough that the internet is still at a place where we don't accept this. Like that.

This just happens. It's, uh, we've done a lot of work, a lot of groundwork to try to make this not a bugaboo anymore that when someone poops their pants, we don't immediately make jokes and shame or poops the shower, but we have a long way to go. It seems like this is this, this story just reminded me that we've come a long way, but we have even farther to go. When you take the knife halfway out of my back, I don't thank you for pulling it halfway out.

I say pull it all the way. Yeah. I congratulate you for doing that. Right. Please, uh, let's, let's stop the poop shaming. Oh, conspiracy theory. Maybe he was trying to like send a signal out to Gabriel Union like, Hey, come eat this. Yeah.

Ditch the zero and get with a hero. Come get this. Let's get a guy who's still playing in the league. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Um, all right. We have a saber metrics. This is for Hank's love of his, is, is Jason Tatum a love of your life yet?

Yes. Fully, fully love of your life has been. Yeah. Well, no, you know, like that moment when a player goes from, ooh, we're crushing to I would die for this guy. Has he gone to the, I would die for this guy? Yeah. As a fan, not like the, the, the him and scary Terry in the playoffs a few years ago, elevated

him up there. Right. But now it's like, it's like, it's nice to see him getting the national attention that he deserves. There's nothing better than reaching the, I would die for this guy player, like that you root for you, like anything he does. And everyone, you can tell too, when other people start getting jealous or other people mentioned like, Hey, that guy looks good.

So either way, a saber metrics, Jason Tatum, uh, we don't know how this updated from last night, but they did have more than 30 points, but this was, uh, from the first 42 games. So since Jason Tatum fully connected his beard, he had a kind of a choppy beard there on his, on his, uh, sideburns. He fully connected it. First 42 games of the season, he was averaging 21 points per game, 43.5, uh, field goal percentage and, uh, 36.3 from three, the 11 games after he connected it, 30.5 points per game.

So he jumped up a full nine points, 51.4 field goal percentage and he's shooting 50% from three. It is the true definition of look good, feel good, feel good, play good, but he's also more susceptible to the Corona virus. True. So you got to give the good and bad there. Is that a big win for you, by the way? Oh, huge.

Like I don't even have to shave my beard. I can't look, you can walk around being like, I'm actually just being, it's preventative care for the Corona. Well, I'm like early stages, Jason Tatum, my entire life, it just doesn't connect. You'll never get to, I'll never, I'm never going to get sick. That's fine. I'm fine being like a, a very good player that shows up in the playoffs. Um, but yeah, Hank, are you, what's your status on chin strap?

Are you pro chin strap? I think he does look better. Like it is. You, you look better and you start saying, Hey, maybe I belong. Yeah. Absolutely. Look child is full beard. A full beard can change things.

It really can. Have you thought about getting a chin strap? No. I used to, I, when I was like starting to grow my hair and I experimented with a lot of stuff, chin strap. I went there. Didn't go, didn't go so well. I feel like you have to do that.

If you grow up anywhere within like 60 miles, you have to have a chin strap at some point. The 90s reliever. Yeah. But the, the, what's it called? What is it? Soul patch. Soul patch with the goatee that connect the gym room. That's the mid 90s relief bitch.

Like Steve Bedrosian had that came out of the womb wearing the goatee, the lineup into the chin strap, like the lineup into the thin chin strap. Where's Jim Rome? CBS Sports. Yeah. The CBS Sports Minute. Still around. I'm pretty sure the annual smack off is coming soon, isn't it?

I need to do it. We need to do a list of guys who are just getting paid for like never being anywhere. No, you know what, you know what Jim Rome's doing? He's doing a world tour. Is he? Yeah. For real? Yeah.

He's going to like, you can buy, you can buy certain packages. Jim Rome? Jim Rome? He gets to go meet, well, he's only doing Buffalo, New York, but it's called the world tour. Well, for a guy from Southern California, that's a world tour. That is. Yeah.

It's absolutely a world tour. Jim Rome World Tour. We need to get that. Ticket packages. Yes. Because there's like a diamond level that gives you like a meet and greet with Jim Rome, but you can't take a picture with him. And then there's like a platinum level that gets you, you can say hello to him for five

minutes and you get a picture with him. What's the level where we can send in our bobblehead? Let's see. I'm trying to figure that out right now. All right. The Jim Rome World Tour. I need it. I actually have another same metrics.

Well, you looked that up. Okay. From Bruce Arians, because he came out very anti-analytics, real football guy. He gave a speech, I think it was at the combine. He said, I've actually heard of guys calling plays using analytics and I don't know how that works. I mean, run to the right, run a sweep, throw the ball. What the hell?

I don't need a computer to tell me that. If you do, you're not a coach. If you got to have a computer tell you to go for it on fourth and two, you're getting your ass kicked. You ain't going to make it. The computer said go for it because you're likely to win the game. No, you're going to get your ass kicked. I like this.

It's been a while since we've had a pushback on the analytics. You know what though? If you phrase it to Bruce and you were like, we're not going to call this analytics, it's just ask Madden, but it just runs like the simulator like Madden does the video game. And just you get told what played around him and be like, yeah, John Madden told me do that. If you just tell him that that's your analytics department, it's John Madden's brain. Here's the best part.

Ready? I don't have a math brain, do you think? I don't have a math brain, you know? So for me, analytics comes into play due to 65, 240 and he's smart and he can throw. He's probably going to be a good quarterback because I've seen that. They're named Peyton. They're named Tom. So if that's analytics, yeah, shit, I'll use it.

So good. The analytics that he's using is just like big guy named Tom. He's a good quarterback. Yeah. The two best quarterbacks of the last 20 years. Is that analytics known that they're good? I don't think so. I don't think so.

All right. Update on the gym room world tour. Yes, please. Complete lineup of tour dates, April 11th, Buffalo, New York. Whoa. And that's it. That's it. That's all he's got on the gym room world tour.

So we're giving a lot of homework out there to the AWOL. Someone needs to go to the Timeless Sword as Dave and Buster meet up and someone has to go to the gym room world tour. So if you want the clone bar photo opportunity with Jim, you get one premium reserve ticket, access to Jim's post show VIP clone bar cocktail hour. You get one gift from Jim Asterix. This is like when Motley Crews still tour. And that item is not autographed.

That item is not going to be autographed. Geez. It says specifically and the one gift from Jim, the Asterix means gift merchandise will ship directly to purchase her after the show. So he's not going to hand it to you. It'll just be sent to you at some point. You get a fucking ornament for your tree. When you get a win in Rome only post show conversation with Jim.

Damn. You get to have a conversation. How long does that last? Doesn't say. Wow. Probably 30 seconds. Cut his vine. Cut this loser's vine.

I can't wait for this. All right. Last up. We need to do a little Tim Tebow update. PFT. Did you see? Yeah. I mean, it was a sunny day.

Two things. One, the sun was shining directly in his eyes and left field. Fact. Two, his shoes were untied. Fact. So right after he tripped over his own feet and the end, if you looked at how he was how he like stuck his glove up in the air is a pretty athletic play to make up for the fact that he tripped over his own ass.

He almost caught it. He almost caught it. And then he gets up and then the first thing that he does ties his shoe. Make sure that everybody knows. Mm-hmm. Shoes were untied. Keith Hernandez gave a little tip after he was like, you got to cut those bad boys so that you don't have to double loop it.

Oh, that's a smart tip. When Tim Tebow gets to his 15th spring training still destined for a single A ball, he will know that trip. Tell you what. No, Tim, you're going to learn it right now because I'll put it in terms you can understand. Next time, circumcise your shoelaces, just cut it right off, cut those suckers off, never trip over them again. I'm still confident he'll get cold.

He's also playing the Olympics, right? Or no, baseball. Yeah. Playing the Olympics. The World Baseball Classic. There it is. He's playing for the Philippines. Yep.

Tim Tebow. Just getting reps. It's going to be great. He's going to get out there. He's going to play with the best of the world. I need Tim Tebow to play in Major League Baseball. I need it. When you think of the best of the world, do you think of Tim Tebow?

Yes. That's a fact now. Maybe he needs to stop having sex. I didn't even know they did the World Baseball Classics. Have you thought about that? Does Tim Tebow have too much sex now? Yeah. He's never tripped like this until he got married.

You can't go changing such a huge part of your life and expect to be the same athlete that you were before. Do you think people laughed at him when he got back in the dugout or do you think it's like kind of awkward? No, they don't laugh because he's a great friend of all theirs. But that's bad if they don't laugh at him because if you laugh at someone after that, that's just like you're one of the guys. Not being laughed at in that moment is like you're a charity case.

You're out here. We're just doing a make-a-wish for you to play baseball. Okay. Don't you agree with that? Yeah. I was thinking back to my tryout with the defenders and everyone laughed when I missed it. Right.

That was good. You're one of the guys. So, but you said they don't think they laughed. You're right. Listen, I'm way more narcissistic than I am a Tim Tebow fan. So, yes, you're right, big cat. It is a problem that they did not laugh at Tim Tebow. All right.

That's our show. We got a bunch of great interviews coming up all week. We got a bunch in the can. I don't know. We'll see. We'll see what people want. We'll ask the people. Maybe we'll pull the people what they want for the rest of the week, but we have some

awesome ones coming up and we'll see everyone on Wednesday. Love you guys. I don't know why I have to say I'll say it anyway. Today is another day to find you, shine it away. I'll be coming for your love, I'll be shining away. I'll be coming for your love, I'll be singing about you. I'll be coming for your love, I'll be shining away. I'll be coming for your love, I'll be shining away.

I'll be coming for your love, I'll be shining away. I'll be coming for your love, I'll be shining away. I'll be coming for your love, I'll be shining away. I'll be coming for your love, I'll be shining away. I'll be coming for your love, I'll be shining away. I'll be coming for your love, I'll be shining away. I'll be coming for your love, I'll be shining away. It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports.