Pardon My Take - Ryan Fitzpatrick, Hard Knocks Episode 3 And Mt Rushmore Of Villains

Episode Date: August 25, 2021

Hard Knocks has completely fallen off with few redeeming moments outside of the sick drone shot (00:02:44 - 00:13:25). We get serious for a moment to talk about the passing of Jimmy Hayes (00:13:25 - 00:15:55). Crate videos have reached breaking bones portion. Hot Seat/Cool Throne (00:15:55 - 00:45:05). Washington Football Team's QB Ryan Fitzpatrick joins the show to talk about his career, FitzMagic, FitzTragic, revenge games and Harvard (00:45:05 - 01:22:56). We finish the show with Mt Rushmore of Villains and guys on chicks.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, we have the one and only Fitzmagic, Ryan Fitzpatrick, on the show. Very excited about this interview. Great to actually sit down with him. Doesn't do a lot of interviews, but did it for us. So, very excited for everyone to listen to that. We have Hard Knocks, C Episode 3 Who Cares, Hot Seat Cool Throne, Mount Rushmore of Villains, Great Mount Rushmore, and then guys on checks. So, helping out anyone who's got work issues. We're expanding our brand, and we are brought to you by our good friends at Cross Country

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was cool. The drone shot was very cool. Very cool. It was maybe the best shot of any Hard Knocks since the Baker Mayfield spiral. It was awesome, but that is what Hard Knocks like. We're at a point now. That was tonight's mojo moment. It was the mojo moment. We're watching the Hard Knocks because that's what we want to do, but there's also moments where we're like, why are we doing this? I don't know. Let me ask you this. Let me ask you the Roback question. Roback.com. Go right now, Performance Polos. Just for me asking you this Roback question, PFT, I'm going to gift you a Performance Polo. Use code PFT. You get 20% off R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com code PFT. My Roback question, PFT, is do you think

Hard Knocks has taken a nosedive because teams are just not giving them enough or do you think, who's to blame for this? I think we're to blame. I think we got to stick our hand up on this one because watching Hard Knocks is pretty similar to actually participating in a football training camp. Over the course of the summer, we're excited to get in there. Now we're going through the motions at this point. It's week three of the preseason. We're ready to break camp early. I think there's optimism when you go into it and then once you get in the grind of having to watch Hard Knocks every week for an hour that comes on at 10 o'clock on a Tuesday night, that's tough work that we're putting up here.

So what you're saying is next year we need to just breath far of this thing and show up to the fourth episode. Yeah, I think maybe if you were to take the entire training camp and then distill it into two hours, I think that would be good. A film. Yeah, just like just have it have it be two hours on HBO like the last week of the preseason after the cuts. That way you get to meet everybody. You get to meet all the kids. You don't have to have 30 minute montages of DeKwan. What's his name? DeKwan. Was it heard? DeKwan heard putting his contacts in. Yeah, I could deal without that one. Just have it. Listen, have it be like 30 minutes of a drone shot or 30 minutes of Trayvon Diggs's son

who is so damn cute. It actually makes me want to have my son in studio just cheering me on during the taping of the show or Alarcon's mom who listen, she was very nice, passionate lady, passionate. It does feel like she used up a lot of God mojo in a preseason. Yeah, that's tough. So in the Hall of Fame game when the Cowboys were playing, I came so close to asking God for six more points and I stopped myself because I'm like I can't use my God request in the Hall of Fame game. I need to save that for like a Thursday night game when I need a fuel goal to get a push. Yeah, you need that or throwback when you're like in your 20s and you're violently hung over. You need the old God. I'll never drink again if you just get me through this. Yeah,

those are the God moments. So when you say God, I'll never ask you for another thing again. God knows that someone who's not going to ask God for another thing would never even say that. Right. So preseason two just felt like she was using up a lot of good mojo. You know, maybe save that for cut day. I hope they don't cut him because I love him. His family story, that was awesome. And also his brother just being like, it's awesome that I get to go to AT&T, watch my brother and eat nachos and hot dogs. Yeah, that's relatable. They're a relatable family. Yes, but I am I'm dreading next week's cuts because I think Danucci is at the end of his line. Three picks. He's got the arm launch angle thing going on. So the problem is with Danucci is the

fucking head thing he's wearing. Yeah, it's partially the head thing. And it's partially just the like, it's a JMU quarterback thing. We're like Ohio State for Division one, double A, all our quarterbacks. They're great in college. I just it he looks like he should be on. He should be coming off a mountain in veil, like with that thing on. You know what I mean? It's it's got a little bit of that skiing vibe. And I just listen, it works if you're winning. If you throw three picks, it doesn't. Yeah. And they even said like, great thing about Danucci is he's not afraid to go out there after he's thrown two picks and throw a third one. No, he's got all the confidence in the world. Yes, I think that I don't like watching the cut scenes

in hard knocks. Anyone who's ever lost a job can probably relate to it a little bit. But it's it doesn't look good for Danucci. He'll he'll find another place to latch on. He'll get he'll have somebody John Gruden will probably fall in love with him. Yeah, because John Gruden will take in any homeless quarterback on the streets. I think the worst part about the cut scenes and Jake probably loves this part is when they're like, you were this close, man. Like, you know, keep grinding. You'll make it. Yeah, that part. Great job. Yeah. If you're just if you're going to cut me, just just cut me. Uh huh. It's don't even I'm not going to show up. Just call me, leave a message. And they're always like, you know, it's a numbers thing at this point. So you

know, we've all put in a lot of hard work. It's not it has nothing to do with your play. It's just that there are a lot of people on the team that are better than if anyone calls. I will tell them that you're a great worker. Yeah, exactly. Best recommendation. Don't want you around here anymore. If you could just like leave your playbook and get the fuck out. But I I am very impressed with everything you've done. I would so much rather have them just spit in my face and be like, you suck. Yeah. You're slow. Find a real job. They should have players motivation. No, no. The motivation will be spitting in their face. You know, it motivates players is just getting cut in general. Yeah. Like that that that's the best motivation. They get mad because they got cut.

And then yeah, then they try to act like, Hey, can we still be friends? Love you. Yeah. Hey, listen, if you ever need me, pick up the phone call. I'm here for you. I've got a lot of friends that are out there. You know, they're they're still in the marketplace right now. I'll hook you up with them if you want. I would. I would actually love to be like a player who gets cut from multiple teams and just then decides like 10 years later, just start calling all the coaches to cut you like, Hey, remember when you said you pick up the phone? I have $10,000. Yeah. Hey, can you cosign on this Acura? You said anything. You said anything. You said I was one of the best guys that you've ever been around that you no longer wanted to be around. Gonna need your kidney.

Please. So speaking to coaches and asking favors, I think the only thing that can save this season of hard knocks is if McCarthy smashes a watermelon. He's got you for us for us for the team for us as viewers. So you need to bet on the Jaguars. Yeah, because if you bet on the Jags this this week, knowing what McCarthy likes to do to you, that will be a lot of him. He'll smash it. But again, that's that's almost worse than asking God for a favor in the preseason is smashing a watermelon in the preseason. Yes, you do need to wait on for that. All right. Other just notes. So Trayvon Diggs, son, very, very cute. Also, anytime you put like any kid under five years old in a bucket hat, it is like infinitely cuter. I want to have a kid. I want to have a son just have a hype man

like that. Yeah, he was the best. Awesome. Just, you know, screaming. Although I did hear that that last like high pitch scream. I know that scream that one that one's bad. That's a kid's scream. That's like Simba trying to roar. Yeah, it's it's tough. The card doctor was electric. I would watch him for an hour because just like the idea that this guy fourth generation cowboy employee, which is incredible, he gets asked to play cards with Dak Prescott and then like the scene where he is playing cards, beats them and walks it off like, don't ask me to come back down here. That's such that's such a cool moment that I think everyone would aspire to do to like beat a professional athlete and something and then talk a little shit. Yeah, well, that happens to Dak

occasionally gets beaten by some people that aren't professional athletes. True. But Panama City Beach. Hey, listen, if there's one place where you can just wipe that off, everyone should get their ass kicked in Panama City. We should make that go reviving in their life. Yeah. Oh, Dak Prescott's doubtful for week one. You got beat up. Yeah, Dak Prescott parentheses got stomped by Sigma Chi questionable for week one. But yeah, that guy was awesome. And also, if you're just a mailman, that's a cool nickname that you can have people can just call you the mailman. Yeah. And be like, Yeah, that's awesome. Well, the card doctor. My job. Yeah. Card doctor is pretty damn cool. That's pretty good too. And then Jerry Jones. Can I get a little Jerry Jones

for the for the line he had? Which one had more shots than a cocker span? Hey, you don't need to worry about sticking me with any pricks, man. I'm not going to start them size mosquito here. As I had more shots than a goddamn. The man went into Gruden. Yeah. Yeah. He did a little bit. So why? Why didn't we have Stephen Jones, Jerry Jones's son helping out Kwan with his contact lenses? That's as far as I can tell, that's what Stephen Jones's job is, is to clean people's eyewear. Last doctor. I do think that you should have somebody on your team that has Rex packs at all times. Yeah, like that's a great guy. That's a glue guy. Yes. And also, it does. Uh, anyone who's played any sport, any level knows that before a game,

you look across the sideline and size up the opponent. If you see a guy in Rex specs, you're like, well, we're going to fucking win today. Yeah. So you get them false confidence and then you beat their ass. So that's that's, I would have, I'd have my guys wearing like pocket protectors, Rex specs, all of them on crutches. Just give them some confidence. Billy, you played football for a while. If you saw a guy with Rex specs on the opposing sideline, what went through your mind? Scrub. Yep. Yeah. Well, that's because you're not a rider. Because I know another guy that wore Rex specs back in yours. You walked right into that one, Billy. Yep. I played you like a goddamn bad on that one. Disavow Billy. Billy just got it. Yeah, just got it right now.

That just hit him. Uh, no day this week. That was tough. Yep. I would have liked to see him coach. We did get Bob McAdoo in the in the background. We got McAdoo. We got Joe Philbin. Yep. The Cowboys are just, I think people don't realize enough how crazy it is that Jerry Jones, the owner of the team, he is the general manager. He's like, he's grinding film. Yeah. And like grading, grading players out. I'm sure he's got all the analytics. He's going, he's going on scout. He goes scouts teams all the time. East West, you know, game, the shrine game, whatever it is, senior bowl, his game. He goes to all that. He lives out of hotel sixes. Yeah. All the time. He's walking around with a stopwatch at all times. That's what Jerry does. Yeah. Um,

all right. So hard knocks stinks. Um, all right. Before we get to hot seat, cool throne, obviously, uh, people saw the news, uh, the tragic passing and Jimmy Hayes. So we wanted to at least acknowledge that I, I knew Jimmy. I was introduced to Jimmy in 2013 when he's on the Black Hawks and the Stanley Cup run. Um, he's very close with our very good friends at spit and chiclets. So, uh, just tragic. It's one of those moments like, I think I, you know, like I said, I, I knew him a little bit, but also just the fact he has two kids that are almost identical ages to my, uh, two kids. And it's just, it's, it's fucking terrible. And it's one of those like, you know, life's too short. Tell people that you love them kind of moments. You see the outpouring

from the hockey community. It's like there was not a single person that has a bad story about him. Like he was the ultimate, ultimate locker room guy, ultimate, you know, teammate, buddy. He was one of the first athletes that I met who was like a fan of Barstool. And it was one of the coolest moments. I remember meeting him in 2013. And it was, he was one of those guys that everyone liked to be around. And, um, it's just, it's really, really tragic. And, uh, you know, I think anyone who met him, heard him podcast, whatever it may be, their life was better for it. So, uh, we just wanted to say something for the hockey community, for spitting chicklets guys for the Hayes family who was very close to Barstool. So, uh, really, really, really tough. I never met

the guy, but, um, a way that you can tell a lot about somebody is after they passed away, like what the reaction is. And it was just all people having the nicest things ever to say about the guy, people that I love cared very deeply about him and thought of him as a brother. And so, you know, there's obviously, it's a heartbreaking time and nothing good that you could say, but it certainly sounds like he had a very positive impact in his short time. And it does sound like there will be a lot of people who will be in his children's life because like I said, that part just like fucking, it's rare that a death like really hits me and that one hit me pretty damn hard on Monday night, especially when I was like putting my son to bed and it was, it's, it's fucking really,

really bad. So we're thinking about them. We're thinking about the people that are close to us, like PFT said, and just wanted to throw that in there. Can't really transition from that, but we did record this part after this. So if you're wondering why it sounds so upbeat, well, let me do a side transition to, to buffer it. Baseball is kind of back because we watched the Braves Yankees game that was electric. That was actually the sign that we knew Hard Knocks wasn't good anymore was we had Braves Yankees on and we were all watching Braves Yankees. Well, like half watching out of the corner of our eyes, Hard Knocks. How does that work if there's a foul tip called on a strike? Yeah. And then it wasn't tipped. What happens on that? Can I guess it's

not reviewable? It's not reviewable. So Hank, are you nervous about the Yankees because they've now won 11 straight? It's getting hot too early. I like that. I like that. That's a great answer. You have that ready to go. In fact, am I wrong? No, you're not. Hank, I'm looking at the calendar right now. Is this, is this October? No. No. Is it even, do they give a Mr. August? September? No, I don't, I don't think it is. No. At all. It's called September. That sandwich month between August and October? No, it's not. It's not September. The Yankees, I don't know. The boys of summer. They're looking like they're having fun and whenever you see a Yankees team start to have fun, it's like a precursor for maybe some problems. Yes. I mean, if Chapman, like if that's

your closure, you can't be confident that going into October. Who's a sweatier man? Araldis Chapman or Patrick Ewing in the history of New York sports? Yeah. Because Araldis Chapman, he is able to accomplish Patrick Ewing like levels of sweat in a much shorter period of time. Patrick Ewing, he had that sweat going, but usually it was after, I don't know, maybe like 30 minutes of being out on the court. Whatever shack though, shack gets obviously not New York athlete, but shack used to be like pouring sweat during the national anthem. I always was shocked by that. But Araldis Chapman, he wears long sleeves. Like it's Atlanta in August. It can't be less than 90 degrees and he's just sweating through it. I think it's because you get a better grip

on it when you do the sweat in the rosin. And his baseball cap was just dripping, pouring out sweat, which you have to imagine underneath there was like a swamp on top of his head. Someone check it out for handicapping in October. When it's October and it's cool and it's brisk, you don't have that sweat to mix with the rosin. He's going to dump water on himself before he comes out. I also wonder what sort of performance enhancing substances you might take that would cause hyperhydrosis as a side effect, something to look into. Interesting. One other quick side note, the third TV was on the Red Sox game and they won. Oh, there you go. And you watched. Yeah. Yeah. Also quick side note, we're at the point of Prate videos where we're getting the really

horrible injuries, which is my sweet spot. Watched a person break their leg and arm today. I would much different videos. I would rather watch a leg break 10 times out of 10 over a snapped arm, snapped arms. They hit so different. Well, you know what it is about that. So as someone who's who's watched a lot of these videos, the PFT is kind of right because the arm break, usually the person stands up and is like, like, like basically shows their arm to the camera in shock. The leg break, very rarely you get someone standing up. And I think we've seen enough leg breaks or ankle sprains as in Dak Prescott. But we've seen like enough leg breaks in sports that we watch commonly. We don't you don't really see that many arm breaks. And when you do see them,

the person usually like grabs their arm and runs off the field. So you don't see like, yeah, the bin back. I actually think like breaking your arm at the elbow is the most painful injury to watch. Have you ever broken a bone? Oh, a lot of them. Yeah, have you snapped like a leg? Yeah, ankles, leg, arm, shoulder. Yeah, a lot of them. Damn. I have bad bones, terrible. But maybe that's why I love them. Because I'm like, yo, I know what that feels like. I'm not representation. Been a while. It's important. Have you broken bones? Oh, yeah, Billy feels like a guy who has not broken any bones. Good genetics. Why would you say that? Because you didn't play in college. No, but you did. You haven't, right? I have not. There's

like, you know, everyone knows the guy who's like played sports, but just for some reason, he's got great genetics, flexibility, whatever it may be. And then on the other side, it's me who like, if I fucking walk off a curb, Liam knows Bubba knows you walk off a curb funny and you're fucking I mean, you're you can't. Yeah. He broke his bone walking. Yeah. Although I'm gonna hit by a car. Yeah. Well, you're probably allegedly confirmed by who? Oh, I don't know. Uh huh. Billy, I'm joking about your college career. But I think there's something to be said with this guy with big cats saying like you were too busy injuring other guys. Yeah, hurt yourself. No, no, no. But I'm being serious. Like they're I everyone knows the really good athletes.

Billy, that's a compliment. Take it. Really good athletes who just they their bodies are better and they don't break bones. I have not. I drank a lot of milk. There you go. Jim Harbaugh. Jake, have you ever broken a bone foot in first grade jumped off a stair. You jumped off. It was like, it was like I skipped three to get to the bottom. Bad boy didn't work out. Never did that again. Nope. Would the safety patrol say was he like told you? Yeah. No, I wasn't in school. Fence house. No. Tough carpet. No. Okay. Time. Jumping. I oh my I wish there was a video of Jake jumping off this guy's. No, I don't remember first grade, but I've had shoulder surgery, deviated septum. That's not a bone. Yeah, I'm just saying procedures, allergies, allergies, hypochondria.

A lot. Yeah, all those things. Hank, you've broken bones. No. No, yeah. Oh, I think from like, I think from like, I think from like first to third grade, I broken my both of my arms like three times. Yeah. So I'm so ambidextrous. Dude, first time I ever got on a skateboard, I literally jumped on it, rolled about five feet, fell straight forward and broke my wrist. Oh no, I had broken a bone. I cracked my L five vertebrae. Oh, that's bad. Okay. But then I didn't know about and found out about it later. Built different. I think if you get your kid to trampoline or skateboard, you're just basically like, Hey, you're gonna, you're gonna spend the summer upstairs. Trampolines, pools, skateboards. I almost broke my ankle playing tennis with PFT and Hank last year.

Oh yeah, that's right. Pretty much broke it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, that was good. To quote Joe Burrow. He says, if I died without scars, that just means I did nothing worth fighting for. Yeah. So it looks like us over here. Bad ass. Front lines. Hell yes. Hell yes. Okay, let's get to Hot Seat Cool Throne. It's presented by our friends at Coors Light. Coors Light is the official beer of slowing down summer. There's only a couple weeks left in summer Labor Day weekend. Always a good last hurrah for summer. So make sure you stock up on Coors Light. It is the official beer slowing down summer. Summer always feels like the shortest season, but we need to make the most of it. We all just need to chill. It's also cold-loggered, cold-filtered, cold packages

literally made to chill. It is the coldest beer known to man. It is the best beer of all time. So when you crack open a Coors Light, you think about the memories you made, the fun you had this summer and soaking those last few days because Coors Light is the official beer slowing down summer as the beer that's made to chill. We want to save her every second, get Coors Light and the new look delivered straight to your door with Drizzy or Instacart by going to CoorsLight.com slash take. CoorsLight.com slash take. Cellbit responsibly, Coors Brewing Company, Golden Colorado, Coors Light, the greatest beer of all time. Hot Seat Cool Throne, Hank. Hot Seat is Cam Newton. And kind of cold-busy, similar reasons, but Cam Newton's unvaccinated. He is testing negative.

That's personal. That's a hippo violation. Apparently, yeah, sorry. Well, no, it's really not because of the way things shook out. But apparently, him and the Patriots were not fully up to speed on the COVID regulations and rules, and he went to like out-of-state doctors appointment, which apparently broke the rule. What was the doctor for? I don't know. Can we get Andy Dalton to see this doctor? Sure, I don't understand the joke. You can never be too healthy big yet. You should like Andy Dalton to go into this protocol. Nice guy, but so that Justin Fields could start. Because I assume that's what's going to, I saw the Belichick where he was like, does this open up a spot for Mac Jones like an opportunity? He's like, didn't he say yes?

Yeah, Michael Gerardi, there was a quote earlier. He said, for sources, there's a level of frustration internally with the Cam Newton situation. One important member of the organization believes this has opened a window of opportunity for rookie Mac Jones. Team practice today, and then with New York Giants tomorrow. I mean, that's Belichick's whole thing is like the team, the team, the team. Right. Doesn't matter what it is. But if you fuck up your commitments to the team, like... It's an advantage for Mac Jones to get playing time. Yeah. So yeah, I mean, it sucks. It sucks for Cam Newton. It sucks for like Cold Beasley's similar

thing where it's like he's testing Nick. No, I don't think so. Well, it doesn't, what do you mean? It could just get vaccinated. Well, right. It's his choice. And if you make a choice, there are consequences to your choices. I don't feel bad. Now, by the way, I did take... I don't feel bad for Cam Newton. I feel bad for like the Patriots and the team that I root for having to deal with this type of stuff. But yeah, he should probably just get vaccinated. Yeah, be a good teammate. Jerry Jones said that. Jerry Jones is like everyone should get vaccinated. Yeah, sort of 45. My cool throne. My cool throne is college football. Week zero's here. We're back. Football is back, guys. Football is back. Football is back. Football is back. It's

officially back. Nothing triggers Hank more than us saying football is back for the entire month of August. Every year we do it because there are different reasons every week for football being back. Like the week when you see the first commercial for hard knocks football is back. The first episode of hard knocks for football is back. When rookies show up in like the third week of July. Yeah. Football is back. Yeah. When the Packers do the little bicycle thing. Football is back. Football is back. I'm the biggest pigskin head on this podcast. Oh, really? Pigskin head. But college football is back this weekend. Play bar stool. You guys may have heard of it. We have a new game. So there's been a lot of games. There's the Pigskin Parley

on Sundays. Now we have a game for Saturdays. It is college football based. It's over under. So this is for every state that doesn't have the sports book app. This is for every state period. Every state period. Got it. Even Florida. But yeah, except Florida. So if you're in a state without the sports book, if you're in a state with a sports book, bet on the bar stool sports book and do this and do this. New Jersey. We are now live. We are now live in New Jersey and we are now live with the college football game last year when the pigs can parley hit. I said if we get 200,000 entries, I'll get a cat and I'm going to match it. You're two cats. Two cats. I'll get two cats for 200k entries. The contest closes this Saturday. One elderly one. I'll get one elderly

one and one kitten. One that's like about to die. So you have to deal with that. Yeah. I want it to die. I want you to get really attached to it and then it dies. I would like for one of the cats, maybe the elderly one to have some sort of illness that you have to give it injections. Yeah. And I wanted to live for maybe eight months. So you're like, oh, I kind of love this thing. And then boom, dead. I'll get one Marlins man cat and one like little baby kitten. So the main one, the main coon, is that what it's called? Sure. Those things are sick. You should get a bobcat in a kitten and see if the bobcat eats the kitten. That's going to be yes. I don't know if you can buy a bobcat, Billy. You get an ocelot. Yeah, there we go. Mm-hmm. Get an ocelot. They look like jungle

cats. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So your weekends are covered. If you're in a state with a, with the bar stool sports book, you can bet on it and either way you can play in the play bar stool Saturday, college football, Sunday NFL football is back. I'm so excited. Good job, Hank. All right. Then just hit the over on every single one. Yeah, I think you have to week one or week zero. Excuse me. Yeah, just 10 overs. Yeah. All right. Pft. You're who's our hot seat. Cool. My hot seat is curses. Curses are on the hot seat. Tony Fanau won a golf tournament. The curse the Puerto Rican open is over even though some people say that it ended a long time ago when some other guy who's not Tony Fanau, but that doesn't count. Tony Fanau won the Northern Trust. So it's yeah, the curse is done,

the curse of the Puerto Rican open. I guess people are freed out to win, win that tournament. Now, let me ask you a question. I just cursed the Falcons because they looked at Blake Portals, didn't sign them. You can't curse the Falcons. Well, no, I realized after I cursed them that I might have actually freed them. Yeah, no, it's a double curse. Right. So yeah, that's that's really the only way to get rid of the Falcons. So now you have to bet on the Falcons. Yeah, although I think they're going to suck. I think they're going to suck. You can still bet on them. Yeah, they're sucky teams are the best teams to move the table by like an inch and I'm very off right now. I'm going to make it through it. My cool throne. I am. I'm off. I feel very exposed. Ted Lasso

everything about me. Ted Lasso take quakes on the cool throne. Just in general fictional characters do eat pussy on the cool throne because there was an awesome tweet from Carol Blymer today. People are mad about there's now been a backlash to Ted Lasso. Then there was the backlash to the backlash against Ted Lasso. I haven't followed any of this and I feel very free. Oh, it's wonderful. But then Carol Blymer stepped in online and totally settled everything responded to somebody saying that this season of Ted Lasso is not good. And she said, I think what you're not ready to admit that what really bugs you about Ted Lasso is that men go down on women before satisfying their own needs. You hate that women tell men spoiler. I haven't watched it yet. I mean, spoiler alert.

There's a guy that eats pussy on the show. OK, classic. It seems like a very important plot point. It is. You hate that women tell men what they want sexually and get it. You feel threatened by confident women. And then she hit us with the emoji of the dartboard with the dart on the bullseye. Hold on. So she's saying that the season sucks because of that or she's saying that other people say that it sucks. This is now the backlash to the backlash to the backlash. Yeah, I can't follow this for Ted Lasso. But who's and she we've reached the point in the in the discussion around Ted Lasso where there's this woman who steps in saying that the real reason men hate it is because there's a guy that and then we have to remember that there are literally millions of people who watch this

show without sharing a thought about it publicly. Correct. Correct. The vast majority of people just watch the show and then keep going with their right. For me, I that that part never occurred to me to be something to feel any way but laugh about because it's funny when it happens. Yeah. But no, she's taking it to mean something. Got it. So that would be hot seat. Is that Batman? Batman wouldn't go down on a girl. Is that what we were talking about like two months ago? Yep. Yeah. The studios took it out. The studios took it out. Yeah. They took it out. But yeah, this is it's quite a takeaway. Shout out Carol Blimer. That's I think a front runner for Take of the Year so far. I the only reason I don't put in Take of the Year is I still don't understand who

she's mad at. She's mad at the people that are saying that Ted Lasso is not good this season. But they don't they're just saying it because they just don't like the show anymore. But they're actually probably saying it because they're trying to be hipsters against. Correct. Got it. But Carol I think is mad because I don't watch shows that come out once a week. I wait to binge that. Yeah. Carol is mad because I think really who she's mad at is the people that aren't retweeting her online. Got it. So she was like I got to talk about eating some poontang and then I'll get that interaction. Carol also like that's a that should be a that's kind of a what's it called what's Karen adjacent. Yeah. Yeah. No, Carol is Karen's like bitchy friend who's a lawyer. So Karen is

like I'm going to call my friend and you're going to regret ever kicking me out of this restaurant. NYU law. Yeah. And then she'll be able to figure this out. She doesn't actually practice law. No. But she did it one point. She tells everyone she did. Yes. She watched Aaron Brockovich seven times. All right. My hot seat is the SEC all teams not named Tennessee because Josh Hypole who is the new coach of the Tennessee volunteers said that the team is he loves the team's energy and effort in approaching like walking upstairs. So it's really getting micro here like just literally putting one foot in front of the other very football guy also just hot seat Josh Hypole in his own right because that guy like listen we don't body shame here but if you're someone who's

maybe of Jake and Billy's age and you look at the Tennessee volunteers head coach and then I told you that he won a national championship in this century you would be like no that's not true. Have you see them. No. I'm talking about Oklahoma. I wasn't talking about a joke of UCF being the national champion. No. No. No. No. No. No. He is he's not looking great. No. No. I'm looking at a picture of him right now. Yeah. He was a star at Oklahoma in 2000. I think I think he needs to take more stairs. I think that just when you when you look like Josh Hypole does right now you're like man look at that guy really get up those stairs. Yeah. Like that guy didn't take the elevator. What do you say Billy. He coached a national champion. No. No. He won a national

championship. He played as a quarterback. Yes. And that was only 20 years ago. 21 years ago. So it's not like a crazy crazy amount of time. It's. Yeah. Maybe more some more stairs. He's listen though. He's one of those guys. It's just you know football is his life and he's what are you going to do. What was Josh Hypole. Was he like the the third or the fourth choice for the volunteers this off season. No. He was I mean he was up there because they also I mean they've kind of fucked themselves because they did the whole they ran off Shiano. Yeah. Years ago they painted the rock. They're trying to get what's his name. I think he's going to do well. I mean Tennessee is a tough a tough place to restore the you know the 90s but I love the

annual tradition though of recent Tennessee hires saying things that really don't have anything to do with football but giving their team reason for optimism. Yes. Do you remember Derek Dooley when he was the head coach at Tennessee. You wore the orange pants. You remember what he was really hyped about after the first week of practice. He's like we had an extensive discussion about shower discipline and how you have to bathe yourself. And so I took out a washcloth and I showed how you have to scrub down if you want to be an elite football player and our team really responded to that. I love it. I love it. So yeah I mean he's listen I'm a ball for life one a national title there so I'm rooting for them. I want them to restore the glory but yeah I don't stairs stairs

is a new one. They look good on the steps. There's is a new one to throw out there. All right my cool throne is James Winston because he's incredible. Yeah. He's the best quarterback in the NFL. Yeah. You think so. Yeah. I mean that the touchdown pass they threw in the first quarter unbelievable. I also. Unbelievable. Shut up about boo hoo Taysom Hill. Yes. Like they were going in on how Taysom Hill didn't get a real shot. Taysom Hill is getting paid a lot of money to be a gimmick quarterback and he should be happy with how much like he's in that sweet spot. He should never try to do too much because everyone are like wow what a great weapon that he is. When he has to throw the ball 30 times he's not a great weapon anymore. He's a fine change of pace guy to bring in and do the thing where

he runs at linebackers. That's fun to watch. I like watching that. But if you have James Winston Future Hall of Famer or you have Taysom Hill who threw one pass last night that it might have been the worst pass I've ever seen. Yes. And I'm including Tim Tebow in this conversation. Yes. The pass hit the logo at midfield. The camera was centered on the midfield logo and there was no New Orleans Saint nowhere on the screen. Yeah. He missed his closest receiver by probably 35 yards. Yes. Very bad. But and I also feel bad for Trevor Lawrence because that's going to suck. Yeah. Well I I want to say news today. Billy Billy might have been right about Trevor Lawrence. I I'm going to I'm going to switch the narrative on Trevor Lawrence. I think that it's the jet the

Jaguars will fail Trevor Lawrence not Trevor Lawrence failing the Jaguars because they don't put a team around him. Like I I think he's going to be great if they can put a little bit of a team around. I think Dabbo Swinney failed Trevor Lawrence by not allowing him to lose enough in college to get him prepared for the NFL. Right. Urban doesn't look like an NFL coach either. Yeah. I mean I just don't see it. Listen. I mean you you think Urban Myers guys going to be able to lose 11 games in a season 12 games in a season. I don't know but say that I'm you know what we're thinking. Yeah. I don't know. He's going to have to eat a lot of fucking Papa Johns. I'm just wondering what that contract with his family looks like this season. They're all grown though. He probably

still has a contract. He definitely football guy stuff. Yeah. Jake your hot seat cool throne. My hot seats the Baltimore Orioles. Oh. So they're bad. They're really bad. They're in the midst of an 18 game losing streak right now that they're down 13 to 6. So if they go to 19 game losing streak the records 26 the Louisville Kernels in 1889. I don't count that. I don't count that. If it's if it's before 1920 I don't consider an actual 23 Phillies 1961. OK. All right. Yep. That's that's the mark that they have to hit that counts. Yeah. So they're really bad in January. I put them on my hot seat because they did like Saber metrics playoff percentage chances and they gave them 0.0 percent chance before the playoff started.

Turns out they were right I guess. Yeah. But counterpoint Calderon Junior. Yeah. Mm hmm. Also great stadium. Sidney Ponsone one of the great thick pitchers of our generation. Trey Mancini great comeback story. Yeah. There are any Machado. Billy Ripken the fuckface card. Yeah. So the card of the Orioles. Geltahada. Yes. Yeah. Zach Britton if only they had played him in a game that meant the wild card game. Yeah. Yeah. Jake Arietta. Yeah. He sucked for them. Chris Hoyle's Harold Baines. Yeah. The list goes on really of elite Brady Anderson. They will come back tonight. It's only six inning. Yeah. I mean you think you could put together a team of like the best let's say the pirates and the Orioles combined.

Do you think that they could win 70 games. Well considering the Orioles are about to be 38 and 86. Wow. That's pretty. That's something that's significant. They're approaching 50 games under 500. Damn. That is that's. Delicious. Yeah. Cool throne is a stress test. So we're doing a little callback here. I had a notification my phone every time you guys say Jake write down a reminder. I write it down. Sometimes it's like months and months and events. You ask me to that's crazy. So this is from the May 26th episode. Can't wait. Guys write this down. Yeah. Let's say fuck March 12th remind us to make fun of you for writing everything down. It's a Saturday. Should Sunday. Yeah. Perfect. Yeah. Just write that reminder down. Make fun. Not blame. Make fun of

Sunday and make fun of Jake. Not blame. Make fun of Jake for actually writing everything we say down. Thank you for writing everything down. Set and then June 12th. Apologize for making fun of you on March 13 and remember to remember my birthday which is tomorrow this year. Apologize for making fun of you on March 13th for writing everything down. And happy birthday Hank. Yeah. But also put parentheses for both of those sarcasm. So we're not making fun of you order pop. We're sarcastic. We're apologizing sarcastically and also wishing Hank a happy birthday sarcastically but also not ordering papadeas on your birthday for real. Correct. But also also put sarcastically. Yeah. Put

sarcastically in the first one where we're making fun of you because we're doing that as a joke too. And remind. Okay. Next day put a reminder for me. Hank loves papadeas on his birthday. Get. So that's on the night or on selection Sunday we're ordering papadeas. No on Hank's birthday in 2022. I need 20 candles 28 papadeas. 28 papadeas. 29. Oh my god. Hank's 29. Oh my god. 10 months. No. The second that you say that's when you turn 30. You're 30. You're now 30. Chill. Damn. Okay. So the reason we got here. I don't care. I don't even know. You have to. You have to play it. I need to know. All right. I'll play it on two times. It's like three minutes long. Oh no. Don't do it.

Don't care. You know what. No. No. No. No. No. October 9th. Yeah. But this has to do with the NFL Preseason. Yeah. No. No. October 9th. Remind us. October 9th. Remind you to do the stress test. Yeah. No. Remind us that you were going to tell us what to do today. But we didn't want to do it because it was too much time. All right. All right. Wait. Wait. I have a question. How much time did you put in preparing for this segment. It took me a while to scrub up the exact minute. But it's okay. We pulled up the stress test for you guys to take. October 9th is a guaranteed. We're going to do it. I kind of want to hear what this is. No. We're going to do it October 9th. All right. All right. No shot. Yes. Yes. This is a show day. Yes. Sunday. Boom.

Done. Act. Make that October 11th. Tuesday. Yeah. Tuesday. Yeah. Okay. Word. We're in. You didn't do the stress test. I love it. But we will do it. Yeah. We will do it. Wait. We need to have Columbus Day weekend. Yeah. Oh no. We might have to change that date. We'll have to do it during the regular season because that's when we're really going to be fun to have a stress score before the season middle and after. Yeah. But nah. All right. Let's just let's just keep pushing it off. All right. All right. That was good. That was very constructive. A lot of reminders are set for ourselves there. Billy. Hot seat. Gabagool. C.C. just sent out. Just writing down everything and being so attentive. It's like hot seat. Some fucking meat.

Salmonella. C.C. said that you have to heat up all your Italian meats. Okay. 165. Okay. Salmonella. So no more. You can't eat like a cold Italian sub right now. No. No prosciutto. All right. That's tough. Jimmy Grappolo might actually die. Yeah. Is this just in a certain area or everywhere? Everywhere. Got it. Meat crossing plants. You're supposed to like fry up your prosciutto. Yeah. Or steam it. Which just means don't eat it. He's been doing it right the whole time. Yeah. Cool throne. C.J. Bethard. Always getting in at the end of games and just putting up points. He's like good. Two touchdowns. Remember last year he got in at the end of that one game that Mullins was sticking up and just put up points. That's what C.J. Bethard does. Yeah.

Cool throne. C.J. Bethard. I like it. I'm a big C.J. Bethard. C.J. Bethard's a guy that if you have a 14 point lead in the second half you're going to win that game by seven. He's, I like him. Oh, he should get started somewhere. Let's not go too far. Yeah. No. The Jets. You want him on the Jets? No. You wouldn't have to be Mormon. All right. Let's get to our interview with Ryan Fitzpatrick. Great interview. PFT, you got a quick ad before we get to it. Before we get to Fitzmagic, I want to talk to you guys about TickPick. TickPick, guess what's back? Football's back. Football is officially back. If you want to go to a football game, if you want to maybe go see a band live in concert crowds are back. You're going to need a ticket for that and we have the best

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offer no fee tickets. This has saved fans over $5 million and counting. They guarantee the best prices on live event tickets. I'm going to give you five seconds right now. Just jot this down. Jake, write a reminder that you'll then tweet out to everybody so everyone else can have the same reminder. Download the TickPick app. When? Put it out tomorrow. No, no, no. Put it out Friday for people that are going to go to Week Zero College Football. TickPick Tweet Friday. TickPick Tweet Friday. That's tough to say. TickPick is easy to use though. It's the best app, the easiest way to save money on sports and concert tickets. It's our personal favorite. Go to tickpick.com slash take. Use the promo code TAKE. Get 10 bucks off your first order on live event tickets. Don't

forget to download that app. Use code TAKE for $10 off. And now here he is, the quarterback of the Washington football team, Ryan Fitzpatrick. Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest brought to you by Coors Light. We're on Grit Week. We are on a football field. We are outside, so if you hear a plane going overhead, that's why it is a very, very special guest. Ryan Fitzpatrick, Fitzmagic, the man. We start every interview, Grit Week, with the same question. Can you define Grit for us and what does it look like? Well, I've read Angela's book, so probably cheating a little bit, but I can define Grit as a quarterback, I think. Yeah.

Grit is getting through an interview with an airplane flying over there. There it is. That's perfect. I like that you're on a first name basis with Angela, too. Yeah. I couldn't remember. Is it Duckworth? Yeah, Duckworth. That's good. I couldn't remember her last name. I thought it was Duckworth, but yeah. You read the book. Well, I bought the book. Yeah. She's part of the Grit industrial complex. Yeah. All right, try to monetize for it. Yeah. Okay. Well, I've read Angela's book, so I think I'm cheating a little bit, but for a quarterback, I feel like Grit is being able to take the big hit and going on to the next play. It's the linemen looking at you and seeing some qualities that they like. You're kind of getting

away from the pretty boy aspect of being a quarterback. Maybe not sliding feet first, but diving headfirst into the end zone. I think there are traits and qualities like that, especially at my position that help define Grit. Okay, so quick follow-up because I know we were going to bring this up, but are you addicted to seeking out contact? Because we have a theory on our show that you are one of the only quarterbacks out there who you will look for someone to try to truckstick them, to try to run them over. Sometimes I need that initial hit, whether it's getting hit in the pocket or seeking it out just to kind of get into the game a little bit, but a lot of it, like I'm a terrible blocker. I mean, I was just somebody sent me a picture

when Troy Palomalu was doing his Hall of Fame speech of me trying to block him when I was in Buffalo and my ankles twisted and my chin strap is above my eyes, but I did the job, so I don't know. The guys up front love it, so every now and again, I'll throw my head in there. So yeah, more specifically, I think the theory is that you, before every game, it almost seems like you make a note of who the smallest defensive back is and you manage to find that person during the game and you run directly into them. Yeah, and I think the air that I made with Troy Palomalu was I just, I heard him speak and he's soft-spoken, and so I took that as maybe he would take it easy on me, but he's ferocious out there on the field. Yeah, the beard looks phenomenal, by the way,

and the hair too. I feel like your hair kind of takes or suffers like a backseat complex to the beard. Do you use the same product and styling methods on both? Yeah, so at the facility here in the showers, we have that soap shampoo conditioner all-in-one that's just awful, and so that's all I really put in it. So if you actually ran your fingers through it, which you can do off-camera later, you can't really get your fingers through it because it's so nasty. Is that a factor in the chin strap flying off every now and again when you get hit? Like, do you feel like if you had less of a beard, your helmet would be more secure? I do, and most of the beard just gets pushed underneath when I put my chin strap on, but the single strap also helps with the helmet flying off,

and I just feel like for safety reasons, it's better sometimes for it to fall off than for me to take the brunt of the blow. Yeah, is this the longest an interview has ever gone with you without someone mentioning that you went to Harvard? We were pretty close. I was wondering. The buzzer just went off, so we missed it by four seconds. Did you go to Harvard? I did. I attended Harvard. Boston, Massachusetts. Yeah, you went to school up north. Yeah, small school in Cambridge. Is it true that you got the same education for $150,000 as I could get at the local library? $1.75. I mean, with Wikipedia, I mean, yeah, I think Wikipedia is all you really need now. We got another plane going over. This is grit week. This is grit week, sitting outside on a

football field with a plane and a lawn mower going off, so I'm just going to fill a buster here for a second. This is me just filling up time. Is that Air Force One? Yeah, it looks like it is. Hey, Biden, welcome back. All right, so do you the Harvard thing? Do you get annoyed about it that everyone says it all the time? At this point, it's like you've been in the NFL for so long. It's not really remarkable anymore. I know it is for a Harvard quarterback to be in the NFL, but you're an NFL player. You've been an NFL player for almost two decades now. Yeah, I think initially, when I first got into the league, it was my identity. I was the Harvard guy, and now hopefully there's some more stuff that I've done, I mean, beard and whatever else

that people know me better by maybe. So I actually don't really hear the Harvard thing, yes, in interviews, but it's not like I sit and watch my games. So I'm sure they mention it every time because I have to, but I don't really hear it much day to day anymore, to be honest. You know what was a great way to kind of get rid of that was when you put on Deshaun Jackson's jacket in the chain and you became swaggy. I think people were like, wow, that guy's got swag and kind of got rid of the whole Harvard, the buzz about that. And that truly was like a spur of the moment, having fun with my teammates, but it did kind of change the narrative of my career a little bit away from, like you're saying, the Harvard grad journeymen, whatever else, to

gold chains and tight shirts. I think you should lean into it. You should be like the Mean Street Posse in old school WWE, come in with a cardigan and just look down on people and be like, why am I even here? I should be working at a hedge fund. This is ridiculous. That would be great. Are you ready to finally say definitively what you got on the Wonderlick? No, absolutely not. 49? Never. It'll never be. 48? You left one blank. I did not have one blank, but again, that's a long time ago and that has kind of gone away as well, which has been nice. Let's bring it back up. Let's just say it. Just say, is it 48 or 49? It was not 49. It was not 49. So it's 48. Do you remember the question that you left blank?

I don't. I do not remember. Was that one where you were just like, hey, tossing the poor one out for my homies who aren't in the NFL? No, it was more, it didn't make sense to me question. Didn't like any of the answers. Oh, did you go back and you did the ultimate Harvard guy thing? You're like, hey, this test is wrong. Like this question's actually worded incorrectly. Just so you know. Yeah, I submitted submitted the real answer to the board of Wonderlick. Ernest Wonderlick didn't think that it was very funny. Yeah. All right. The most important question I have for you. Fitz magic. Do you do you know when Fitz magic is happening? And we know as viewers, we know as viewers, it's basically when Ryan Fitzpatrick decides he's going to start doing

some crazy stuff and win a football game. And and it doesn't really make sense, but it makes perfect sense because we've seen it so many times. Do you feel it? Do you know you're like, oh, I got this. It's I got the Fitz magic today. There it's definitely in football and especially in my career. There are times when I feel the momentum when I feel things are going our way or when I feel like I need to create some momentum. So yes, I think it's I mean, we could call it whatever we want, but it is there is a very real like zone that I get into at times. And you start seeing the crazy eyes and the weird fidgeting body and it just something takes over me and I don't know what it is. But I guess we could call it that. It's Fitz magic. Yeah, it is Fitz magic.

What's the ultimate example of like the most Fitz magic play that you've ever had? Because we could go with a recency bias and we could say last year against Oakland, I guess Las Vegas, excuse me, when your your helmet was backwards on your head and you just uncorked like a 60 yard dime. Is that would that be the outstanding moment in Fitz magic? I mean, one that came to my mind when you said that. So the beginning of 20. It's hard for me to remember the years to but the beginning of 2018 when James was suspended and I played and I wore to Sean's guard. You know, first week we played the Saints and beat the Saints at their place, which never happens. And then the next week first play of the game was a touchdown 75 yard to Deshawn. I put his stuff on.

The next week we played the Steelers and we're down 30 to 10 and it might have even been Monday night football. Yep. And we came all the way back and I threw a touchdown on an audible double move to Mike Evans in the left corner of the end zone. That like that reaction probably after that throw was was peak whatever we're calling it. I don't like the word Fitz magic. Well, you could fill it in fill in the blank. Okay. So then can we now some people say this, but I don't put some people because it also rhymes Fitz tragic when things go the other way. Some people say that fair fair. That always bumps me out. I always think that's part of Fitz magic. Yeah, because you don't have the highs without the lows. True.

Yeah. And I would just say that there's been there's been more highs than lows recently. I get the narrative, especially, you know, years and years ago in my career, especially in Buffalo, you know, having some games where we weren't necessarily scoring many points and losing by a lot and trying to make the Las Vegas blind throw without anybody grabbing my face mask. That's why I was able to do it. I had a lot of practice. I get that some of those moments people can hang on those, but I think it's been more positive. I actually do think that you have eyes in the back of your head. And here's why because my first experience with Ryan Fitzpatrick was watching you when you were playing against the then Washington Redskins back in 2006, I think.

And Sean Taylor was coming off the weak side and he was about to sack the hell out of you. And that's one guy that you probably would not want to get hit by going full steam. And you weren't even looking at him, but you ducked out of the way and he still sacked you and he still got a pretty decent lick on you, but he was about to kill you. How did you see him coming? So it was 2005. Yeah, just a fact check. And yeah, the the Dipsy Duckaroo, it's just something you learn. The more you get blindsided, the more you learn that something is coming. But it just, it was so long ago. It's, it's hard to, it's hard to remember. Well, so you've been in the NFL for a very long time. I have a feeling you would, you, you're going to get this right, but can you name

all the teams in order of what you played for? Like a Sean McVeigh when he does the, here was the play from four years ago. Yeah, that, that one's, it's fairly easy. Like if you were to have me name, you know, the head coaches in order like that one might be harder. But if you, I mean, I was drafted by St. Louis. I got traded to Cincinnati. I signed with Buffalo. After four years there, I got cut for the first time in my career, signed with Tennessee, signed a two year deal, got cut. They brought in clip, clipboard Jesus. Yep. And I signed in Houston. Then I was broke. My leg was traded to the Jets. Resigned with the Jets. No one took a while. Then I went to Tampa, Miami, and now we find ourselves here in Washington.

Okay. You ace that. You know your own life. Well, and I will say like there were kids, my, my seven kids have been born in seven different states. So that is one where like, I would really get in trouble if I didn't get it right, but they're sprinkled in that story somewhere. That's a very smart way to remember. Do you have like what people do on the side of their RVs where they fill in the states? Like here's where I've had a child born. We should do that on our bus. These planes are so loud. Yeah, they are. They're so loud. Well, I guess that begs a question. Are you planning on having another kid here? You know, we'll have to bring my wife in on that one.

Huddle up. Hasn't been great lately. Seven to one. Yeah. We'll see. We'll see how it goes. But judging off the last six months, I probably don't have much luck. How did birthday season go this year? Because I, one of my favorite Ryan Fitzpatrick anecdotes is that you can attribute some weight gain in the off season to the fact that like all seven of your kids, the birthdays stack up there in a few months and you're just eating cake every other week. Yeah. And I've gotten used to it. Now it's just like a 15 pound weight vest that I'm training with in the off season. So I go, we do the birthday season. I feel good about it. I've got the 15 pound weight vest and then two weeks

before training camp hits, it's just panic. It's just not eating and trying to shed weight. And now I feel pretty good. I've nestled in right under 230, which is a good weight for me. I like that there's just a birthday season. Like, all right, strap it on. Let's go. It's cake every day. You call it bulking season. Yeah. If you put it that way, you can probably try to like change the stigma around it. But then, so I guess, you know, you brought up like all the different cities that you played in. You're a good quarterback. You're a very good quarterback. Is there a part of you that's like, what the hell? Like, why won't anybody ever commit to me? At this point, it's part of my story. And I mean, the experiences that I've had along the way,

like I really, yes, there are other people that have been in the same place for 15, 18, 20 years, but the people that I've met and even the impact I've had in their lives, the impact that they've had in mine, I really wouldn't change it. And even a place like Miami where they needed a guy to step in for a year, a year and a half just to keep the ship afloat and to kind of bring some of these other guys along. Like I take a lot of pride, even in the success that they're going to have in the future here, I take a lot of pride in the fact that I was part of that. So I enjoyed, I enjoyed being here having a young team and helping show guys the way and helping bring out the confidence in some guys that have maybe lost it. So I really enjoyed it. Just my oldest is now in high school.

So as we continue to travel, it continues to get a little bit more difficult, but I like popping from place to place. So I'm going to make you compliment yourself some more because you can't have the career that you've had and not be a really good teammate because, you know, we've met a bunch of athletes, you've met a bunch of guys who they aren't built to do different roles, like either they're a starter or they're not in the league because they just can't have the mentality, the team first mentality of, all right, maybe I'm not the starter this year. So what would you say, if someone were, if we were to pull all of Ryan Fitzpatrick's teammates, which I think is like 15% of all players that ever played in the NFL, what would they say is your attribute as a teammate

that makes you, you know, teams want you all the time? I mean, I think part of it for me is I care about the individuals. So it's not just, it's not just a meat market out there. I mean, it's not just we're throwing a guy out there and he better perform or like I care about these guys off the field too and sitting in the meal room and having the conversations and really getting to know a guy and what makes him tick and what he'll respond to. And so I think when you take the time to know somebody as an individual to know their family, to know their story, I just think that helps. It helps the relationship that you have off the field and on the field. And that's just something that I've always done and made a point to do because I think is important. All right.

If you were to rank Ryan Fitzpatrick rivalry games, because we always love a good fitzy rivalry game, is there, are there teams where it's more of a rivalry game, if you're, or excuse me, a revenge game, if you're going up against like the Titans versus the Bengals versus the Jets versus the Bills? Like if you were to put, what are your top three revenge games? So at this point, and especially now being in the NFC, which it was in the AFC for so long, like I don't know that there are going to be many. I mean, I, you know, we're playing Tampa and I don't really view that as a rivalry game. I mean, that team is so different from when I was there. I can give you the biggest rivalry game I've had in my career, which was

after I spent four years in Buffalo, signed with Tennessee, then the next year signed with Houston. When I started at Houston against the Bills, like that was, that was like such a, it meant a lot. It was a very meaningful game for me to be playing against the Buffalo Bills. And that's probably the one in my career where I could have said, man, that was a real revenge slash rivalry game. So you're saying that we're idiots for always calling them revenge games and for always being like, man, Ryan's going to ball out this weekend. No, I mean, I'm telling everybody in there. I mean, we're playing the bangles in preseason. This is a revenge game. I mean, I was there in 07 and 08. I need revenge.

Was there ever a time like, did you think that maybe, hey, am I a glutton for punishment because I keep ending up on AFC East teams that are not the New England Patriots? Like you just found a way to have to play Belichick twice a year, every year. Yeah. Amazing. Like absolutely amazing how that worked out. And really being with Chan Galey on all three teams was very interesting too, that he kind of, you know, stuck around that division as well. But it was weird. We just play, you know, played them last year without Tom, but even in the preseason this year, playing them without Tom, it's just a different feeling or vibe in that stadium. Do you now, no offense to Harvard, but is there any small part of you that wishes if you could go

back in time and everyone knew that Ryan Fitzpatrick was going to be this 17 year NFL guy that you could have played like at a big time college football program? So I grew up in Arizona. Both my parents were sun devils. I went to all the games, Jake Plumbers, like one of my favorite quarterbacks of all time. And I mean, if ASU would have offered me coming out of college, I would have been a sun devil. I would have been at Arizona State. And I'm so glad that they didn't because it worked out and I'm happy with the path that I took. But that was my mentality mindset back then. Yeah, you're probably the only person in America who's like, my final choice is boiled down to Arizona State and Harvard. And I wanted to go to Arizona State. Yeah. That would

have been fun though. You would have had fun there for sure. That is perfect. I was reading earlier that you've never taken your wedding ring off. Would you take it off if it meant that you could put a Super Bowl ring on instead for just one day? That's a big Jake question. Boy, that's hard hitting right there. Yeah. Thank you. I'll take it off right now if you want me to. I mean, first time ever. No, I so I mean, the true story is actually, I used to take it off. And when I was in Cincinnati, I forgot to take it off and practice one day and didn't bother me. So I left it on ever since. So there was like a two year period where I was taking it off. But I think my wife appreciates that I leave it on. I could always put it on the Super Bowl ring on the right hand,

I guess. Yeah, that's true. That's true. We do have a bet or I guess it's just me making a bet with the gods that if you win a playoff game this year, I'm going to cut my hair. I'm going to cut it for the first time in like seven years, I think. So it's a pretty significant bet that I've got riding on your shoulders. I don't know if that adds to the pressure that you feel this season. It does. But I'll piggyback off that and I'll shave the beard. We could use the same clippers even. You cut mine and I'll cut yours. Deal. That's a deal. Wonderful. Now I'm nervous. Yeah, now I'm very nervous. Stakes are high. So as far as this team goes, I've been a long suffering Washington football team fan. It's tough for us to put together two good seasons in a row.

But right now I feel like the defense that we have in place right now might be the best in the NFL or it's certainly one of the best units that we have. And if it's magic comes out this year, I actually think that the team can do really, really well. What do you think is the realistic ceiling for me? How should I calibrate my expectations as a fan for this season? Well, speaking offensively, I think the difference between last year with some of the playmakers that have been brought in, in addition of Adam Humphries and a guy that we haven't even seen a whole lot of in Curtis Samuel, I've obviously seen him play. But he's getting back into it now. And De'Ami Brown and all these guys that they brought in and there was so much homegrown talent

here as it was that on the offensive side of the ball, it's fun for me to play in the system. Because I'm not going up to the line and saying, oh my God, I've got one guy to throw to. Is he going to be open on this play? I mean, we've got five, six, seven options. Logan Thomas is a guy that really came on last year that thinks going to have another great year. I'm excited as a quarterback to be part of this team, aside from how great the defense is and what they're going to do this year. So you could take that for what it's worth and kind of weigh your options. I probably phrased that wrong. Just give me a guarantee. How many victories? That's what I was really digging for there. Yeah. No guarantees coming from me. Sorry.

It's not your first season. Remember, we're in the sweet spot where people haven't mentally jumped over that hurdle of 17 game season. So you can say 10 wins and it's not as much. They won't even. Yeah. You know, 10 and 7 is not because you think 10 wins is guaranteed playoffs might not be this year. Missed the playoffs twice winning 10 games. That's brutal. Yeah. Who was your first touchdown pass to? Tori Holt. And did you keep the ball? So I threw the touchdown, kept the ball. I brought it up to him the next day in the locker room. Hey, Tori, do you mind signing this for me? And he wrote best wishes Tori Holt. I was like, wait a minute. No, this isn't for

like my mom or like a fan. Yeah. I was like, no, I threw you the pass. I'm not sure he knew who I was at that point, but it was a 19 yarder to Tori Holt. That's perfect. Ryan, keep working. One day you will achieve your dreams. Yeah. Good luck sport. Thank you, Tori. All right. So not to talk about another man quarterback in the league, but how much do you think James getting Lasik is going to make him a future Hall of Famer, which he already is, but we're big James guys. You're big James guys. James one of one. I don't know if he's ever seen that Twitter account. He's got a book, the media derangement syndrome of James Winston. But yeah,

he's a future Hall of Famer. He's got like the second most passing yards at his age besides Dan Marino. So no big deal. I mean, he threw for over 5,000 and over 30 touchdowns. Yeah. There you go. Sounds like you're James one of one, too. I like James. So did you, did you, did he get Lasik? Did he get it after you left? I am not sure. Okay. I'm not sure. Was he squinting when you last saw him? Yes. A lot of, a lot of squinting. Okay. So it was pre-Lasik. Okay. If James can see every linebacker now, hypothetically, let's say that's where he is. He actually, he's the closest person to Fitz magic that we have in the NFL besides you,

except he's just like a more concentrated version of Fitz magic. Like the lows can be exponentially lower with James, but then he can go out there and throw for like 36 touchdowns in a season. Just like absolutely like to league up. Did, was there any sort of like a mentorship thing when you were there? Has, I'll put it this way, has a coach ever brought you in and said like directly to you, I'd like you to be a mentor or is it always like come in and win some football games for us? No, that was definitely one I got brought in as a backup. First responsibility was if he went down to come in and perform at a high level, but the second responsibility was just to help James along. And I mean, I know we're being a little, a little funny, but he,

he really is like my biggest advice to James was go home, like stop spending so much time in the building because he works harder than probably anybody I've ever been around almost to the point where it's a detriment and he needs to go home and get his mind off it and do something else. He wants it that bad and that was really the one main piece of advice I had for him. It's not easy like coming up with new, you know, training things that no one's ever seen before where like a dog is attacking you while someone whips you with the towel. So I get why he stays so late. Like you can't just come up with that stuff if you don't work at it. Yeah, we don't, we don't do the same off season drills. You know, you don't do the one that has like the giant, it looks like

a giant scrotum that's attacking him that he's like trying to avoid. And then he's like throwing a tennis ball against the wall and catching it with the other. It's, they're fun to watch though. Yeah, it's probably for your viewing pleasure. Yeah. If we, so we try to get a Rubus cube before this. Yeah. How fast can you do one right now? So I'm rusty and you can actually, you can get rusty on the cube. Really? Oh, you can get rusty on the cube. Yeah. Okay. That's unfortunate. I'm sorry. So really, really what's happened and Andy Smith was on your show, really one of my big inspirations in my life. When I saw him beat me with one hand in less than 20 seconds on the cube, I said, I want to be that guy. And both of my sons started doing the cube faster than me,

swore it off. Yeah. I mean, I'm done. I'm done. I beat my own house. Nope. I beat you. Last time I did it, I beat you. We're done. Yeah, you hooked us up with him. It was a great interview. And I was saying before this, but I'll say it for the people. So when we were coming here to Washington to do this interview, our PR person was like, Hey, if anyone knows Ryan Fitzpatrick, like we're trying to get in touch with them. I was like, Oh, I have his number because Willie Cologne, who you played with, Jets gave me your number. And I texted you and I asked you if you would do the interview and you didn't reply. You just thumbs up the message. And I've never felt like more of a beta. I sat there for two weeks being like, are we in or not? Because not even like a

sounds good or yeah, it was just a thumbs up. It was an immediate thumbs up to like almost instantaneous and then no reply. Yeah, I didn't, I mean, I didn't know you were so self conscious. It mentally messed me up. Yeah, that's on me. So just know that that means we'll see. It's good because like you can, if you're ever in court and you have to read a transcript of your text messages back to somebody, if you're just like emphasizing a message, I don't think you even have to say like, Ryan Fitzpatrick emphasized this. That's open for interpretation. I mean, I always tell my kids under promise over deliver. So the thumbs up, what is it? You didn't promise anything. But now I'm over delivery. I'm doing it.

So wait, what is your fastest time on a cube though? So I could break a minute pretty regularly. But then like my oldest son got to like 25 seconds and it just was enough. I mean, I didn't, I didn't need to watch that anymore. So do you pick up a new thing like every off season, some kind of hobby or something? So for a while I did and it was like, you know, one off season I would, I bought Rosetta Stone for some reason and thought I would learn Spanish and, and then like I, the guys, the guys that do the yard and I live in Arizona, Spanish speaking guys and my wife always makes fun of me because I took a lot of Spanish and I'll go out there and I'll go to talk to them and I'll just like speak English in a Spanish accent.

Like that's helping the conversation. Yeah. She's like, what are you doing? You're speaking in English. But so that, that's been something, you know, I wanted to take the GMAT and so for a while, I did not. Like recreationally you wanted to take the GMAT? Yeah. Just stuff like that. And that, and then I was like, it was doing my own taxes for a while and then it just, just got, did you're a party animal? I mean, I was wearing my younger days. Okay. That's what I was really wild. But yeah, now it's just birthday cake and, you know, just hanging out. So, so do you have like, I would imagine you still have some friends that you keep in touch with from Harvard and they, are they just as shocked that you're, you're 17 in the NFL? Yeah. I mean, it's, and it's

cool because they are now so established in what they're doing and all the avenues that they're doing that for a while it was like, man, this guy's still doing it. And now they really, like everybody's coming out to the games. Like this has got to be his last season. Yeah. Like this has got to be the last, so that's been happening for like the last five years, you know, so I've seen a bunch of them. But yeah, I mean, they're all, I think they're all very excited that, you know, I'm still in it and they, you know, are always rooting for me, which is nice. What was your record against Yale? Four no. Oh, hell yeah. You can't, you can't lose to those guys. Hell yeah. I got, I got a quote here from a former teammate of yours. His name is, it's Preston Williams.

So when he was asked to describe you, you know what I'm going to say already? No, but I mean, I could, it's got to be funny because I can't imagine what he's going to say. He said, Ryan Fitzpatrick, that guy's piped up. What does piped up mean to you? Well, one of the meetings, which maybe you have on your mind, like whenever I bring my kids into the locker room pre COVID, the one rule is eyes up boys, keep your eyes up. Yeah. Yeah. So it's not that kind of piped up. I don't know. Preston's an interesting guy, but the fact that like, I think that's a compliment. Oh yeah, for sure. Muscles probably. I don't think it's muscles. I think piped up just means like spiced, you got spiced up. Okay. Like if you're cooking, I'm going to pipe up this

chicken real quick, meaning you're about to put some flavor on it. I think he's saying you got flavor. Yeah. Well, I appreciate that P dub. Yeah. Do you prefer piped up or the Amish rifle? So I'm kind of upset that that one died. I mean, that was pretty cool. When I was in Buffalo, that was the deal, the Amish rifle. And I mean, I really, the beard never got combed back then. And if it did, I would take the brush they would use on the ball. And I mean, I don't know why I didn't, I don't know how to, you know, take care of myself. It was early. I couldn't grow facial hair until like age 25. So like that was all new to me. But yeah, that one's gone away. Unfortunately, I like it. I say we bring that one back. What? So we're going to Buffalo on this trip. What's

your favorite wing place? Gosh, it's been a while. I mean, the big ones are, well, anchor bars like were originated and Duff's is a big one. And the Andy Lyons, Bar Bill, Andy Lyons, I think was the one I went to at the lineman all the time. Yeah, but anywhere you go, I mean, you can order wings. Doesn't matter what kind of restaurant it is. Gabriel's Gates, another Gabriel's Gate. There you go. I like that you call them wings. We got to remember that. We're up there. They're going to know that we're outsiders. You don't say Buffalo wings and Buffalo. Well, and like when I first got there, I ordered ranch and it was like, you know, they did like a record thing. Like, wait a minute. Blue cheese. No, no, no, blue cheese. Do you, do you, I mean, I don't want you to have to

rank all your fan bases, but are the bills number one, just because of the fanaticism and the fact that it's not a big city and how crazy those people are? Yeah, I don't, again, like I've loved a lot of the places that I've played. I really have, but nothing compares to the city of Buffalo. Nothing, not even close. I love it. So this year, your first year in Washington, obviously, we discussed earlier, you're guaranteed at least 10 wins, which I could see it happening, honestly. Is there, is there something about like Ron Rivera in the off season process where you're deciding like, where you want to end up next? Was there something that made you want to come to Washington? Or was it like, okay, Washington is the best of the following like three teams that are offering?

Yeah. So for me, normally in, as I go through like the recruiting process, it's like, there's one team that'll bring me in to have a chance to play. And then there's a couple other teams where it's a backup job. So like, I don't really have a chance or a choice. I'm going to wherever I can play. This was a different year for me in my career, and that I had a few different options of places to go to play. And so I got to weigh a few of those factors. And coach Rivera, just what he did here last year, just hearing about who he is as a coach, who he was in Carolina, the respect that the players have for him. And even just the guys that have coached with him, the building that he runs, it's just a guy that was a former player that has that perspective. There were a lot of

different things that were very impressive about him. So that was a big factor in it. All right. So I had one last question. This has been awesome. We appreciate you giving us your time. Oh, what is it? Mattress firm, Unjunk Your Sleep? Is there any promo code or anything you got to throw in there? Yeah, let me get it real quick. It's the mattress firm question. Do you have any mattresses you'd like to play? That's the question. What's your favorite kind of mattress, Ryan? Yeah. All right. So Unjunk Your Sleep at mattressfirm.com. Get started with mattress firm. I pretty much nailed that question. Sleep experts, big cat. Sleep experts. You can sleep on it. Ryan now is looking at us like you guys are the fucking idiots. Mattress firm. You can sleep on it. Unjunk Your Sleep, Ryan.

I don't even remember what my last question was going to be. God damn it. I just think you're kind of a genius. I've kind of realized over the course of this interview, by jumping around a little bit, you get to be wanted every couple off seasons. You get to go on recruiting trips, basically. How many free steak dinners do you think you've had? So I normally, this whole recruiting process, for me, it's normally over the phone and I never go visit. So I've missed out on a lot, to be honest. So like Ron Verz like, hey, Fitzy, we want you to be our starting quarterback and you just thumbs up it? All right. Well, that one's over there. If it was by text, yes, that'd be a definitely like thumbs up, but that one was over the phone. Love this. Yes. Right. No, I remember

my mattress firm question. UnjunkYourSleep, mattressfirm.com. Go check out a sleep expert. You love football, obviously. Do you think you'll coach when you retire? I don't. I do love football. I think I love playing football. I do love the X's and O's of football, but I also feel like after I'm done playing, whenever that is, whether it was five years ago next year, whenever I owe it to my family to at least be dad and be home all the time and then figure it out. So just a little tip. I know you've been in the league for a really long time, but immediate tip from our side, you got to say, it's time for me to hang up my cleats in my jersey. I'm going to go be the quarterback of my family. Wow. That's what you got to say. Well, and then

you got to text that to me. Yeah, it'll be perfect. And then you got to throw in the, you know, usually football guys are like, our coaches will say, yeah, I'm the coach of the team, but my wife is a coach at home. That's another one they throw out there. Anything that's going to bring tears to me or my wife or anybody watching. You can only, you can only basically talk about family and like really sensitive and like private moments in terms of football. Time for me to huddle up with the kids. This is unbelievable. Damn, what a great father that guy. Have you thought about when the time does come? What that announcement is going to look like? Are you going to do like the cleats over power line or are you going to note sap it?

What's that? Are you going to be going to be like a social media retirement? I may, I may get an RV and just travel around city to city and just see, and it'll be, it'll be interesting. I'll show up to St. Louis. I'll be speaking with that in the background and nobody watching. And then as I get further in my career, maybe there'll be more people that are there to at least clap me off the stage. Beautiful. I feel like that last plane really threw in some extra gas there to me. Is that Air Force One again? Yeah. It's another revenge game against the Jets. Yeah. Ryan Fitzpatrick. Thank you so much. Really appreciate it. Good luck this season. I'm sorry for that.

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my say. Yeah. Will he admit it though? No, we went through the tape. We worked it over. We're doing better. So you were being a bad teammate? What did the tape say? I was shooting from the hip. Yeah, you're gun slinger. Yeah, you are. Thank you for your service. If you're in any relationship, there needs to be, you know, cohesion. I mean, you were trained to shoot first, ask questions later. Dude, I mean, the most important part about being a seal is the teamwork. You're only strong as your weakest link, right? Yes. All right, let's go with you guys first. Jake and Pick first. I'll go. Second or fourth? Fourth. Okay. I don't know. I don't know if that's a mistake or not. I guess I'll find out.

So go second. No, shut up. I'll tell me what to do. Thanks very spicy today. I think you're upset that I'm 28. Yeah, no, that you're 30. Yes, I am. Oh, they're already shaking. This is like people who haven't watched the YouTube. This was Billy's... Subscribe. Subscribe, subscribe, subscribe, subscribe. Billy was just trying to throw some heat and Jake was shaking him off, like, catch her. Like, come on. Yeah, let's not do this. I think you got to let Jake go first, right? That's the way to prove. Yes, these guys are a mess. No, we agree. You guys just had a film session where you sat down. It was Tell the Truth Monday yesterday. It's more that you looked at your shit and then the first thing that happens, Billy, you need to make new habits. The very first

thing that you do is you go back on everything that you've studied. You know, like, I'm beginning to see why you got moved to wide receiver. We need to have some conversation behind closed doors before we come out with our decision. Players only meeting. Right. We need to do that. And we did do that. And now we're going to shoot from the hip. Okay. The Joker. Oh, okay. We're gonna specify which Joker. Heath Ledger. Novak. The Joker. I mean, does that need to be specified? No, it's probably, I mean, we don't have to specify, but I would assume you're going to be glad. Okay, I feel like if you make multiple movies about him, yeah, yeah, big deal. Okay, I will go. I had it on my list. Good pick guys. Way to go. Team is back together. Good job. We're feeling positive

vibes everywhere. I'll go with one of my personal favorites. I'll go with Hannibal Lecter. Okay, good pick. Yep. You want to do, are you gonna do the that's pretty good to live it with some fava beans and a nice candy. Benjamin Ratsbell. So I think he was first. I can't remember the fucking line. It's an anagram. It's an anagram. Very creepy. You doing that during one of the corporate interviews. Out of the blue. Well, no, Hester Moffat is Hester Moffat. It's an anagram. The rest of me. Okay. All right. My first one, I'm going to go with I'm going to Tony Montana. Scarface. He's an antagonist. He's the main character, but he's

also a protagonist. Yeah, he also is a villain. So the problem that I was thinking about this, he had it on my list. It was a little lower on my list because he is like you root for him. The majority of the movie, then he obviously turns, but you do root for him. I would consider him to be a villain. Okay. But in a good way. Yeah. Yeah. The other guy, what's the fucking guy's name that he shoots in the I haven't seen. Wow. All right. Go ahead. Hank, two picks. Darth Vader. Yeah. And never see. See, I this is why I waited till four. And also I'm being honest. I'm not going to pick anything. I haven't watched myself. I love stars because I was I've seen them many times. I almost wrote down Darth Vader is like, dude, you haven't even actually even seen a second

of that shit. And then he shall not be named Voldemort. Another one I've never seen. I had that on my list. I also deleted it because that's a fraud pick. Not for me. Yeah, not for you. I read the book. No, you're a nerd. Love. Yeah. Love. Was that Game of Thrones? I did love Game of Thrones. So speaking of Game of Thrones, I gotta bring that up. I'm going to go with Joffrey. Joffrey is my number two pick. This is a real prick. Just the biggest prick ever. Yeah, maybe one of the most hateable, hateable villains. Yes, I think I think maybe the most hateable. Like, every time he's on the screen, I I wanted to poison at his own wedding. Yeah. Okay. Spoiler. I'll go that show. Second pick. My second pick. I'll go with the shark from Jaws.

I had that one. I didn't think that was going to get taken. Holy shit. Yeah, it's a good pick. Yeah. Dated myself a little there. Although, and Jaws is a classic. If you haven't seen Jaws, you're fucking loser. Yep. I think we're going to need a bigger boat. Oh, oh, and the pick is in. Bane. Ah, you guys are just going all Batman. The penguin. So I'm Neeson. I'm glad. I actually would appreciate if you guys like at the end of this like we've only seen the Batman movies. Scarecrow. Oh, come on, guys. Let's go where they're getting in trouble. They're getting in trouble. Jason from Friday the 13th. Okay. Okay. Good. All right. My next pick is going to be Shooter of Gavin. Shooter of Gavin. All time villain. Great. All time villain. Great pick.

Good. Fucking hateable dude. I'm going to go Freddy Krueger. Kill you in your sleep. That every kid that watches any of the Freddy Krueger movies, they are terrified to go to sleep. Yes, I agree. Big time. Very scary guy. Very not nice guy. Not a nice man. A combination of like he's got a creepy hat, he's got a creepy face, and then he's got the the shears on his hand. Yes, agreed. Hank, your pick. Plankton. Good pick, Hank. Thank you. Why are you laughing, Billy? He was also on our list. What is that? I just pretend to know. Billy nodded me away from that one. Is that SpongeBob? That's SpongeBob. Yeah, what is Plankton? He is just hell bent on world domination and just destroying the Krusty Krab and pretty much all of Bikini Bottom at all times. That's

son of a bitch. Is he like mess up trying to do that? Yeah, I mean, he has some trouble on the way. Oh, no, I mean, he's like, he's like, he's really just trying to fuck shit up. No, Big Cat's right though, because doesn't he always like trip over his own plans and he ends up being like kind of a goofball because you're like, oh, look at this. It's like in the brain, right? Dude, he's a badass. Shooter. No, the Crabby Barstore Party. It's a big deal. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. He's a bad guy. I mean, I don't know. You're explaining it to me in PFT. Jim Harbaugh, I said he hated him. Oh, that's right. Remember in the interview, he was like, yeah, he was like, I love SpongeBob's attitude. He was like Plankton. I don't like that guy. Great call. Great call back. There you go, Bubba. You know what,

Bubbaugh coming in fucking clutch there. Plankton is an energy vampire. He's like the biggest negative guy, right? Yes. Okay, your other pick? Denzel Washington in training day. You don't even know his name. You don't even know his name. Jake. The guy who says Jake. His name's Alonzo. King Kong ain't got shit on me. I don't even like to get wet. That's it. That was gonna be my last pick. Good pick. God damn it, Hank. Shoot the Bubbaugh. All right, so for my last one, I'm gonna go with the iceberg in Titanic. All-time villain, killed a lot of people. It'd be the pilot or the captain? Yeah. No, but the iceberg. But it was just sitting there. Yeah, but the guy was the iceberg I ever do to anyone. Yeah, it's true. The iceberg is fucking hanging

out. It smoked like 4,000 people. No, the captain. The captain did. No, the captain. The captain wasn't up in the crow's nest, falling asleep with his dick in his hands. That was like the whatever the petty officer was up there with binoculars. But the captain set the course. Yeah, but I mean, listen, that's how you get from Cove, Ireland to New York City. Yeah, like if you'd take a boat through, you know, iceberg land, like maybe plan for some icebergs. Iceberg took a charge. Right. Iceberg, the ball's going the other way. Iceberg didn't fucking move. Iceberg had position. That's a fact. But it still killed a lot of people. It didn't move. The Titanic went into the iceberg. Fine, it's changed it. No, no, no, no, no, no. Is the

atomic bomb a villain or is the person who made it? Oh, good point. Malcolm Gladwell over here. Damn. All right, my last pick. It's tough. It's tough. I'm going to go with the dude from No Country for Old Men. Have your bar down. Yeah, Anton, I think, is his character. That guy. What a fucking scary ass villain. The cattle destroyer that he puts in the head. Doing people's heads. Oh, what a fucking villain. All-timer. Was that your last pick? No, I had it on there with Jake to know who that was. Ah, okay. Where'd it go? These guys are incredible. Where'd it go? It's Scar from The Lion King. Okay, good pick. It's a good villain. Yeah, I think everyone did well. I think it's fine. I just think the captain probably deserves

a majority of the blame. At the end of the day, the iceberg killed like thousands of people. Honestly? No, it didn't. The water killed the millions of people. Who has the biggest death toll? That's what I'm wondering. The guy who took off all the lifeboats. Yeah, that's a good point, Billy. The guy who basically didn't put enough lifeboats to maximize people on board. Libby the Year. Billy says capitalism is the villain in Titanic because we're trying to maximize profits instead of safety. Yeah, all the interesting point, Billy. It was the water that killed the people. You don't know that. James Cameron. Greed. Greed. Yeah. Greed. All right, ones we missed. Cubris. So I can't, Joffrey was the most hateable guy, but Cersei might have been a

more like badass villain. Yep. Blowing up the whole city and everything. Yeah. Like she was fucking cutthroat. I know what's his face was worse. The mountain. Almost more insufferable to watch. Who? The other bastard. Little finger? No. Wow. This was your show. The dick cutter offer. I've tried to. Oh, yeah. The guy who made Reek. Yeah. Holy shit. Yeah, but you know what? He got his shit at the end when the dogs ate him alive. Holy shit. That guy was so, yeah, that's a good call. That was a badass. You know what I missed? Ernie McCracken, Kingpin. Bill Murray. Mr. Burns. Mr. Burns. Mr. Burns. Baby Dunn from Gone Girl. Yvonne Drago. Yeah. Patrick Bateman. Yvonne Drago wasn't bad. That's the same thing. It was Russia that was bad.

That's true. Ramsey Bolton. He's going deep. You're going deep. All right. Hey, what about that? How about Ramsey Bolton is the guy's name? Okay. How about racism in Crash? Yeah. Bad villain. Yes, that's good. Matt Damon, whatever his name is. Mayor Humdinger, if you've seen the new Paw Patrol. Have you guys seen 24? I had Tony Almeida. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, that was crazy. And Nina Meyers. Let's see, Gus Fring. Yep. Great villain. Adversity in Rudy. Yeah. I should have fucking done It the Clown, one of the scariest movies of all time. IT. I was kind of an O for breaking that if it would be like Gus or yeah. Yeah, Skyler is so hateful. So yeah, I was about to say Skyler is the villain. But yeah, no, I kind of not. I was thinking like Gus Fring is the villain for a while, but you're right.

There's multiple like villains. Yeah. It's kind of like Game of Thrones. There's multiple villains. Right. Walter White never went down on Skyler. Is he a villain? Huh? Is he a villain? Walter, he's one of those like antagonists. It's like Tony Matar. What about Patrick Bateman? Until he like turns like the wire too. It's like all it's like the ultimate like the good guys are bad. The bad guys are kind of good. Right. There is no like like Tony Soprano could be a bad guy. He could be a villain, but also you find yourself rooting for him. Right. Right. Livia Soprano would be my villain. Yes. The Beast and Sandlot ate all those balls, but ended up being a tough one. That's actually a perfect Jake pick being like the Beast.

But he was a good boy. Yeah. I would say like judging a book by its cover for the kids in Sandlot, because they all thought that the Beast was bad. Right. He was misunderstood. This one just missed a cut for me. T1000. T1000. That gave me so many nightmares in Terminator. When he was able to liquefy and then like become the cop that just walked really, really fast, that scared the fuck out of me. Yep. Cruel Deville, all time villain. Who wants to kill 101 Dalmatians to make a coat. Captain Hook. It's good. Captain Hook. Yeah. Walk the plank. Lord Farquad from Shrek. Yeah. Destroyed Guy. Sid from Toy Story. Shrek's great. Sid from Toy Story I've seen.

The Devil from the Bible. Judas. Judas. Yeah. I don't know. Jake has seen like a PG-13 movie. Yeah. Give us your scariest movie. I've seen the Pride of the Thirteenth ones. Okay. A lot of people died on that. Oh Regina George. That's a good one for Mean Girls. What? Lindsay and her crew are actually fucking with her. That's true. That's good point. Hank is breaking down both sides. Look at both sides. You got it all. Many fine people. Damn. The kid in The Giving Tree. Have you guys read The Giving Tree? Have you read that to your kids yet? Big Cat? No. That's like a real book. No. It's a kid's book about a kid. But is it? How? Like what age? I don't know. Probably like... It's like chapters, right? No, no, no. They're sentences. No,

it's sentences. I remember somebody reading it to me in like, I don't know, when I was like three or four. Okay. But the kid's a real prick. What am I thinking of? I don't know. You're thinking Good Night Moon, maybe? No. Oh, no. You're thinking of Shell Silverstein. No. I'm thinking of The Giving Tree. The giver. No. I'm thinking, yes. The giver. That one's like Middle Street, right? Lowest Lowry. Great book. Yeah. Maybe the last book I've read. That's where I got confused. Yeah. No. The Giving Tree... We're clearly all very well educated. The Giving Tree is supposed to be a story about friendship and give and take and how this tree helps this kid along as he grows up. The tree is just honestly a toxic friend. Is it like... He's a piece of shit. The kid takes

everything from this tree until he cuts the tree down at the end and sits on it. I was like, thank you tree for being here for me when I'm an old man and I need something to sit on. No, you fucking prick. You just killed your best friend. Yeah, that's fucked up. It's like the ticket stub tree. Yeah. I also had the Dean in any movie about college. Yep. He's always a bad guy. And let's see. Oh, and Ferris Bueller, what's his name? Nine times. Oh, he's a... Oh, yeah, yeah. Principal. Yes. Yes. Pedophile. Yes. Yes. Principal Rooney. Yes. Yes. Disavow. Good call there, Jake. Thanks. Yeah. Or the teacher in Breakfast Club. Yep. That one. The detention guy? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What about songs? Are there any good

villains in songs? Oh, I should have done fucking Marvin Harry, too. Yeah. That's a good one. Damn. So many good villains. Although they're like funny villains. So I don't know if you count them as evil. All right. Good Mount Rushmore. Good bounce back Mount Rushmore off of buildings, which it was tough when it was like the closest vote ever. And then people were like, yeah, because it sucked. I was like, okay, well, that makes sense. All right. That hurts, but it makes sense. I didn't think it was that bad. I don't think people loved it. All right. Sorry, people. Well, I just saw it was really close and then I saw the replies on Twitter and people were like, yeah, it's close because you can't pick a winner when we all lose. I was like, ouch, that works.

Okay. All right. You want to finish up with guys on checks? Yes, sir. Hey, Gritgang, I'm thinking about quitting my job because it's way too stressful and I can't stand it any longer. But there's a cornhole tournament going on to the end of the month of September. Wait. Surprisingly, I'm making it further into the tournament than I expected and I'm super competitive. So of course I want to win it all. Everyone in the office is also super competitive and it also takes us super seriously. It's like the last year of gym class before everyone stops trying at anything the next year. Anyway, I want to win this thing and prove my alphanus, but I don't know if I can make it another month with this job. Billy, what do I do? This is Rico.

No, it's Billy. Billy, you want to quit? Is it a tournament? I thought we were just playing exhibition games. It is. This is not, I mean, I like this guy's question, but this is not, this is not a personal question. Oh, okay. There is no tournament yet. You got to win this. No one here is super competitive. So you got to win this tournament and walk off being like, I quit as you win. That's the way to do it. What a moment. I'm getting chills thinking about that moment. Or you just, if you get into the finals and it's against your boss, you make a bet with your boss and you're like, Hey, if you beat me, I quit. If I win, you have to double my salary. Yeah, there you go. And that's really win win for you because you want to quit anyways.

Hey, big cat PFT Henry, best in the office, Jake and William. My store manager got a promotion in the company and they've been grooming me to take over as the store manager once he leaves. A colleague who currently has the same position as me and has been with the company longer is pissed that I've been training for the new position and believes that she should have been asked over me parentheses. She's probably not even qualified for the position she's currently in, but was hired prior to when myself and my current manager got to the company. Some of the sales associates have told me that she's been talking shit about me behind my back. My question is when the inevitable takeover as store manager happens, how should I handle my current colleague fire her and establish

my authority or give her a chance to fall in line even though she clearly doesn't respect me and will most likely continue to talk shit about me to my sales associates. Thanks boys. Okay, I think you got to make her eat shit for a while. I think you give her all the bad shifts. You got to do your laundry. That's how you establish dominance. Absolutely. Do your laundry. You they have to be a yes person for you. Yeah, I actually like the idea of like just being like, you tell me all the shit you've talked about me. If you don't tell me all of it, you're fired. And just let her say it and be like, I know everything that you've said already. I just want to hear it from you. And then she'll probably quit anyway. Because she'll be so embarrassed.

Hey, buff boys, I'm in round six of interviewing for one of your competitors, but I've not heard anything back in two weeks. Should I just assume it's a summer thing or should I give up hope? We have one of our competitors? Who's our competitor? Probably another book of sports. Yeah, they probably don't care about you like we do. Not that we'd give you a job, but we care about you. I mean, the bottom line is I don't think that we'd ever treat anybody like that and just not get back to one way or another. I don't know who you're interviewing with, but we would we would at least have the courtesy to be like, sorry, we're all filled. That's how we do it. People first people. That's the difference. Hey, Mr. 40, coffee cat and Hurricane Hank,

I'm in the Navy in a very job specific debate broke out at work yesterday. In passing conversation, one of my coworkers mentioned that he thought it's disgusting that people jack off in their bunks instead of the shower. For context, the bunks are pairs of three high beds. They might be on like a submarine or something. And it's like, you just got to wherever you're at. For context, wait, wait, wait, Billy was about to tell us what it's like to read the whole story. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. For context, the bunks are pairs of three high beds. So six people face one direction. There are four showers that about 90 people use. Immediately two groups were formed. Those who jerk off in their own bed where nobody else is

really affected. And those assholes who shout or use the shower. It's like West Side Story was hopeful. You get away in wait, but you didn't. So we don't know where is like a sub. Is it Navy? It's Navy. He said Navy. Yeah. Oh, so let's let Billy answer this one. Yeah, as a service member, better shower. This is important. People will maybe claim that you didn't serve if you answer this incorrectly. I did not serve. What? All right, Billy, but you tweeted at some point, you're going, you had every intention like you want to trade it all to become a Navy SEAL. Right. So let's say you're in the Navy, you pass SEAL training, and you have to make a choice. Are you jacking off in the bed or in the shower? It depends if it's a private bed or not. They just

said it stacks of three. For context, the bunks are pairs of three high beds. So six people face one direction. You just abstain. There you go. The Mormonism is already sinking in. Just nocturnal emissions it. You just wait on nocturnal emissions in the bed. Good answer, Billy. He served. I'm team bed. Yeah, team bed. Team bed. I don't jerk off. So I don't know. All right. That it? I know there's some more. Oh, okay. Let's go. I'm going to do one last one. I'm in. Okay. Let's let me choose. Pick the best one. All right. One of my staff members openly told me he is applying for a new job and put me down as a reference. He told me that I should expect a call from them. Should I hook a dude up or throw shade in the phone call so I keep him as an employee?

No, hook him up. Hook him up. Hook him up. It doesn't hurt you. Yeah, and he's got to find someone to replace him. Yeah, but that's the kind of shit that I actually believe when it comes to karma. Yeah, pay it forward. There's no, there's no glory in keeping somebody poor. Yeah, or just get him a raise. Yeah, yeah. You know what? That's probably what he's doing right now is just proud or she's just trying to like get you to know that they're wanted by somebody else and get that salary increase. If you want, if you, if you feel like maybe you want to leave it up to chance, maybe answer the call, answer that he's like graded everything and then be like, but there's one thing and then pretend that you got disconnected and then just let it,

let the chips fall where they may. Yeah, what do the one last thing? Yeah, one last thing and then it's just gone. Or you could try to sound, this would be a kind of a nice way of balancing both sound totally incompetent while you're giving a good review of them. Be like, oh, I can't find all my files. I spilled all my beer over my work issue computer and then like flush a toilet in the background after you're done giving like a glowing review of this person. What's his name again? Yeah, you said all the good things about him. Right. But then they're going to be like, I don't trust what this guy has to say. Yes, yes. Which it sounds like is probably if you're asking this question, probably the case. Yeah, we gave you some good stuff to go

with there. All right, Billy, any recap? Yep. So you know who is ecstatic Monday night, the James one of one guy. Yeah, he's got the receipts. Yeah, he chose a hill to die on. Yeah, no, he's dead on it, but he's not dying and stronger than ever. I tweeted out and said, he's probably having a drink tonight. He said a nice glass of chartreuse on the rocks chartreuse. Yeah, never enough to get me drunk. Ephesians 518, but always enough to make me smile. Oh, then just a weird gift of a bishop staring in a mirror. Yeah, he's a weird dude, but I respect the fuck. Yeah, dude, he's like really going off. I mean, James, he he brought so much joy to me in Monday Night Football. Yeah, just torturing people in that first half. Yes, shut all the haters

up. Also, maybe we should make an awl shared calendar for everyone. Oh, for like when Jake is putting these reminders in. Yeah, so they have something to look forward to. That's not a bad idea. Just a couple shared calendar, put all the dates out. Okay, that's an idea. Can you do that? Can you open it all? Organize it. Oh, great. That's definitely gonna happen. But like this is Jake, put your calendar a month from now to ask why he hasn't made the calendar. You're going to organize it and then put like our phone numbers and emails on it and make it public. I'll just make a public calendar. You can publish it to the web like the presentations. Okay. Yeah. And then even though I am the same rank as John Cena is in the military, I just want everyone to know I never have actually

said I'm in the military and like gotten on flights early, taking any discounts and as long as that we all know that. You've never said it. You've just dressed up like it. As long as that we all acknowledge that, then we can keep making. I did notice I forgot that Billy did board the flight first. Yeah, I did not. Yeah, you did. We watched you do that. The best part of his military getup is always the camouflage crocs. Yeah, that's really just the real truth. The icing on the cake. Yeah, it's the real tree, which is a military camo. Yeah. In case I need to invade like Syria's kiddie pools. I'm ready to go. Yes. Yeah. All right. 99, 8, 86, 88, 68, 69. No one knows how it yields you reproduce. I'm gonna start picking new numbers. 48.

trash number four. What a fucking trash number. Love you guys. Take to my tongue. Switching back and forth from magic to my tongue. I'm getting there when you must be thinking about my tongue. Oh, your clip and switching back and forth. Switching back and forth from my day to my tongue. Take to my tongue. Take to my tongue. Switching back and forth from my day to my tongue.