Pardon My Take - Ryan Whitney + Fire Nick Saban?

Episode Date: January 9, 2019

National Championship recap and Alabama got absolutely smoked. What happened in the game and how Dabo is the opposite of Nick Saban even though Nick Saban is the best coach of all time (2:20 -19:09). Hot Seat/Cool Throne including talk about Barstool Gold (Don't freak out) and the Vikings GM being an absolute lunatic (19:09 - 35:43). Ryan Whitney joins the show to catch up on the 2018-19 NHL season, World Juniors what do they mean? And bashing basketball (35:43 - 61:42). Segments include Coaching Carousel with Bruce Arians, Kliff Kingsbury, and Matt LeFleur, PR 101 for Derrick Rose, Bachelor Talk, Parental Advisory for Alabama's loss, and guys on Chicks. You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have our good, good friend, Ryan Whitney. We catch up on hockey because guess what, football's over, it's stupid, it's not over yet, stop saying that. We did that on Monday, we got hockey time, we got hockey talky, also does a little talking basketball, which is always fun.

In today's show, we have National Championship Talk, Hot Seat Cool Throne, Coaching Carousel, Guys on Chicks Bachelor Talk, and we have a little parental advisory too, I hope Hank remembered to get them, I'm looking at him right now, it seems like he did. Okay, let's do it, before we do that though, our good friends at New Amsterdam Vodka. Listen, you have to get this New Amsterdam Vodka because it is smooth, it is delicious, it is great, it is five times distilled and three times filtered. New Amsterdam Vodka is an exceptional Vodka, it's highly mixable, making it perfect in cocktails.

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Okay, I sent it, don't be sorry, grab New Amsterdam Vodka, if you've got grit, you know what it's like to put your soul out and New Amsterdam is the Vodka for you, so again, check it out, it is the most delicious Vodka out there, five times distilled and three times filtered, New Amsterdam Vodka, I was drinking some a couple weeks ago in Chicago and I loved it, I had it and I loved it, so you'll love it too, New Amsterdam Vodka, check it out. Okay, let's go. Welcome to part of my take, because I'm a bi-seat geek today, it's a party, it's a party,

it's a party, it's a party, it's a party, it's a party, it's a party, it's a party, it's a party, it's a party, it's a party, it's a party, it's a party, it's a party, party, it's a party. Today is Wednesday January 9th and, should they fire Nick Saban? I'm just going to say this, actually let me ask you a question big cat, Hey go ahead ask me a question is Alabama the worse 14 and one team of all time? Either probably it's a team out there and like, remember when I told you, little trivia 1897 it was the last time team went 15 and fourth time.

if you know, University of Pennsylvania. But yeah, you know what? Bucknell, maybe. This might be recessed by us. 1897, Bucknell team might be up there, but I think they got dethroned by Alabama. Yes, so the national championship, it was a stunning game, which,

some people on this show predicted it exactly. Oh yeah, Hank, well, he did. Hank, congratulations. Do you want to reveal who you had for which side? I had Clemson, obviously. For what? It was 44, 16. 14, 16.

Yeah, but Clemson was 16. No, Clemson, 44, 16, Clemson was my prediction. No, your prediction was 41, 14. 41, 14, yeah. Yes, so Clemson, you're going to reveal it? Clemson was 44? Yes. 41.

41. So it was stunning for, I think a lot of people, because I went into that game saying it's going to be a close game. I obviously, I bet on Clemson, I thought Clemson would win, but I didn't think it was going to be what we saw, because that was a thorough, thorough ass kicking. And not only was it an ass kicking,

Nick Saban got out-coached. Little Nick Saban looked like he was going to explode on the sidelines. He got out-coached. He was out-coached by far. He was just like, he was getting smaller and smaller. He does the thing where, when he's really mad, you can tell, because he just turns red

and he crosses his arms and just squeezes his own body. And he was like, an anaconda squeezing the life out of himself, because he knows he's not going to get that nut after the game that he needs. He needs one of those thunder blankets that you can give dogs the anxiety. He does. Just wrap him up.

Wrap him up and have him. Just get him tighter. Yeah, he was very upset, but I mean, a lot of that was his own doing. Yes. That field goal, that fake field goal in the second half with the world's worst kicker, it's tough to expect a team to buy

that you're going to try like a 40 yard field goal if your kicker can't make an extra point. And then he uses kicker as the lead blocker, which actually is kind of cool. Absolutely insane play. It also, in a weird way, got Kirby smart off the hook, because it was like, oh, that was where Kirby learned that shitty play.

For a member, he did the fake punt at a terrible time in the SEC championship. So yeah, that play was insane, but I actually would go back a little bit earlier in the game, the end of the first half, when Nick Saban, Tua has about 50 seconds, 45 seconds, three timeouts, which in college football, if you have three timeouts, it is basically

an hour and a half. It's an extra quarter. Yeah, because the clock stops every first down, you have a prolific offense. And I think they maybe ran two plays, and they said, you know what, let's pack it in. We'll take all three timeouts and go into the locker room. And I was like, what is going on right now?

They, something is wrong with Alabama's coaching staff or their game plan, whatever it may be, and Tua, unbelievable season, has been runner up, but he was not good. And he, and like, when you start getting sacks from face on, and you start throwing interceptions that's like, where was that ball going? Alabama, I'm not going to say, you know,

I'm not going to react and say, you know, it's all over for Alabama. I'm not going to say any of that stuff. They're going to be there next year. They're going to be unbelievable next year. They're going to probably be preseason number one, all that jazz, but Clemson has the exact same record as Alabama in the last four years

in the exact same amount of national championships. So the standard is now Clemson and Alabama. I would say that Clemson's the standard right now. Well, you go with one way or the other. Clemson is really, really good. Offensively, they've got Lawrence coming back for, I think, five more years. Well, he's ready for this.

He's five more years of eligibility. You ready for this? He's 19. 19. 19. 19. I like that. Mbappe was going to be in my hot seat.

As soon as he comes 20, throw him out. Yeah. And even Dabbo said that. He's got to work first. He's got to play for his jazz quarterback competition. Every single position is open for competition next year, including your star quarterback, who's better than God at throwing the football.

Who just won the first time, a freshman quarterback. You basically hung 50 burger on Nick Saban. A freshman quarterback winning the national championship for the first time in like 30 years. Yes. Oh, is it time for Alabama to go out and maybe look at getting a Sean McFade type guy

as our next head coach? Interesting. These old guys just don't do it. Nick Saban's not creative offensively. In the first quarter, Tua got sacked helmet to helmet. And by that, I mean a helmet hit his dick. Yes. And we've seen that that's his Achilles heel.

In the past, in that game against LSU, we had to miss a couple plays. It was a little rusty coming back in. Is the key, the blueprints out there for how to beat Tua is hit him in his dick in the first quarter. And then he'll just be thinking about his balls for the rest of the game. He was not right and the whole,

I mean, the weird thing was Alabama moved the ball and then they just got out Alabama. And by that, I mean, when you play Alabama, you basically move the ball between the 20s and then you get in the red area and they just locked down. And that's exactly what Clemson did to him. They got bullied. They got bullied.

My favorite part about the morning after is the morning after takes that. You've got like retroactively, some people are saying, actually, Alabama played just as well as Clemson in that game. They just didn't score touchdowns. They did have as many, almost as many as, they got 40 yards less, so.

I kind of like those stakes, just because, well, the other point of the game is to score touchdowns. Yeah, but they did, yeah. But if you're often stops inside the 25 yard, or what is Jaco's? Tiaco, 22. The 22 yard line in the real red zone.

If you're often stops, it's kind of a big deal. Yeah. Wouldn't you say? Yeah, but if you do it by just purely yardage, still lost, but. But don't break, yeah. And you know what, the only thing I was disappointed in watching that game because it became a blowout

and we were, the fourth quarter, I think a lot of people turned it off. By the way, shout out to Jason Witton for doing, you know how ESPN does like the 17 different channels? He sat down and got fooled by the fair catch rule in college, right away. Really? In first play, he goes, why did he just fair catch that?

It's like, ah, Jason Witton, listen, listen, man, it screwed me up for a couple of weeks, but then I caught on. Me too. And also if I was going to go be on a national broadcast for a college football game, I'd probably try to figure out what the rules are. I'd watch at least one college football game.

One college football game. Although, like the counterpoint to that is, I really enjoy it when people are like watching the series finale of Breaking Bad and they haven't seen the entire series up to that point and they just tweet out, oh, this guy looks like he's a bad guy, like that's kind of fun. That's what Jason, he was learning along

with all of us. Why do you do the fair catch there? Yeah, why's the clock stopping? So the one thing that was disappointing, besides the game kind of getting out of hand and not being able to have like four quarters of excited, because it felt like the first quarter, we were like, oh man, buckle up, this is gonna be awesome.

Yeah. And then it just fell apart for Alabama. You buried Clemson in the first quarter. I did. I mean, Alabama was moving the ball up and down. I mean, I got very nervous at a very, very big bet on Clemson and I got very nervous. That's what I do.

That's where if I could live bet, I would be in a lot of trouble because I would live bet Alabama there for a lot of money. Yeah. The fact that we didn't get to see Georgia play Alabama because they would have kept it close. Many people are asking like Georgia, actually Georgia should play Clemson.

There should be a plus one. No, I don't want to get Clemson out. There should be a plus one at the end of every single national championship where the winner, the title winner gets to play Georgia for the real national championship. Yeah, we'll say what you want about Georgia but they have exciting games against Alabama.

Yeah. Clemson ruined it. They were, they're the only team that was up two scores against Alabama in the first quarter this year. Yeah. So do you want to do the take that we discussed? Do you want to embrace the bait on that? Yeah, let's do it.

Throw it out there. Collin, Collin, Calter, Calter. Yep. Oh my God. I wish I'd listened to Fine Bomb today. Yeah. I bet Phyllis was flipping out. Listen to me, Calter.

Clemson didn't play nobody. How did he play nobody? No, no, she's live. Don't do that. Still surprise ever. So Collin, Calter. You're a real dick for doing that. Tweeted this out.

That sucks. It's kind of a take quick, but I somewhat agree with it and I think Big Cat totally agrees with it. I 100% agree with it. Coaching under Saban. Tammy is dead. Oh, OK. Thanks.

Wait, moment of silence for Tammy. Coaching under Saban is similar to Scientology. Privacy is demanded. Verbal abuse is understood. And when you leave, it's more like escaping. Saban-tology. He simply wears, coaches out. Why the turnover is so great.

And it's caught up to him. This Bama staff got worked. Where's John Wall's father? OK, so the end obviously was added there. No, that's it. Real quote. Yeah, I love Calter because he's got to do some stupid name for it.

Saban-tology. He also, I'm sure in his show today, he probably likened Saban to a guy who divorces his wife and gets a really awesome sports car and then runs it. He always has these really specific analogies that are just for guys 45 years old and older. He also likes to make analogies that compare everything directly towards marketing a small to medium business.

Yes, yes. He's really big on that. So he's big time on that. I don't think that he's totally wrong on this. He's not wrong at all. But what he's also describing is just like top level college football. Well, it is.

No. Every single major state university that has a top 10 or 15 team, there is an element of being in a cult. I would actually say it's more like being a Jehovah's Witness than being a Scientologist because you don't get titles. No one's allowed to have a title in Jehovah's Witness.

No birthdays. Here's where his take got halfway there, but not all the way there because I know what you're saying and I agree with you. If you go to like if Urban Meyer or Jim Harbaugh, they probably run a program the same way. What I think his point was and the point that I truly believe is you're seeing what Dabo is doing

and Dabo does it completely different. So if you read anything about how Clemson has run, Clemson's offensive coordinator has been there forever. Brent Venables has been there since like 2012. I love that he looks just like a little mini Dabo. Yeah, he is. But Brent Venables could have had a head coaching job in the last few years.

He is quoted to be like, I know what I want and it's right here. And Dabo has made like a culture where guys want to stay whereas I think Nick Saban had six new coaches and like you think about Steve Sarkeesian, Clint Lanekiff and like you just, you rotate coaches and you know, Kirby Smart and all these guys end up going to other jobs

and Alabama becomes almost like, it's almost like law school. It's like year one law school. You have to go there. You have to study really, really hard. You have to burn yourself out and then you could maybe climb the ladder whereas, I mean, finish the analogy for me,

Clemson is probably just going to a state school and having a great time. Yeah, that's exactly right. You know, at Alabama, I think the problem is it's not like Nick Saban's running a colt or anything down there. Just he's kind of an asshole. Right, and guess what?

That shouldn't surprise you. And I think everybody knows it. When you take a job for Nick Saban, you're not taking the job to get hugs and to get like pats on the back and to get blankets. You're taking it because you're probably fucked up somewhere and then you want to get a better job later. And Nick Saban probably brings a person who's like,

listen, I figured out how to optimize my hiring process because I know if I hire somebody that I actually like and that I want to keep them around, I'll end up just pissing them off too much and they'll leave. So I'm going to hire a bunch of guys that have no choice but to accept me. They fucked up.

They're talented in the past, but they can deal with me as an asshole for a year if I get them another job. And guess what? It works. Nick Saban has won five. Oh yeah. He's a national championships at Alabama.

He's got six total. So like, it's not an indictment on Nick Saban to say he might be an asshole and he might have, he might be part of the reason why the turnover is so high at Alabama and the coaching staff compared to a Clemson. I think the interesting part is not being like Saban, Tolerger or whatever Colin Coward said.

The interesting part of the Clemson, Alabama thing is that Dabo seems to be doing it a completely different way and it also works. Which is the cool part of sports. It's like, oh, you can get there one way or the other. There's not one blooper. We always talk about the blueprint. There's not a blueprint for winning a national championship.

Dabo is doing stuff a little bit differently. And guess what? Guys seem to be happy there. They want to stay there. They like being there and they don't have six new coaches every year. I think it also helps that he's got Will Must Champ in state with him.

So you get to just frame yourself. Like you're going to look really smart anytime you get in the same room as Will Must Champ. Or like within the same state boundaries. You're like, that guy is way smarter than that. And Dabo, I told you last night when we were watching the game, his sweatshirts are cool. They're very cool.

He does look like, and he looks like the senior in the frat. We know sweatshirts. I was like, hey, come play with, come rush with us and we'll have a great time. He actually is the coolest nerd. Yeah. He's kind of nerdy. Yep.

He's very, very straight laced. And he's also the guy that. Big Jesus guy. Big Jesus guy. Yeah, is Saban a Jesus guy? Maybe Saban needs to. No, Saban's a devil guy. Yeah.

He needs to look into doing some sort of like fake religion. Or at least say that he's. Sabantology. Yes. Well, I've changed my mind. He's actually not a Jehovah's Witness. He's a Mormon because he sends everybody out there knocking on doors and doing the recruiting for him.

But actually, Sabantology works even more. Because think about it, like the big Scientology thing is when, you know, Tom Cruise has skeletons in his closet. Or these guys, they get trapped into Scientology. They can never get out. Nick Saban's just doing that like Steve Sarkeesian. All these guys, Lane Kiffin, he's basically saying, I'll never bring up all the bad things that you've done.

But you have to give me undying loyalty. Yeah, you need to you need to cleanse yourself. Yeah. And tell me everything bad that you've done. So I know your secrets. Sabantology. I like that. I do.

Listen, for every weird thing that Dabo does, he seems to like be good-spirited about it. So he'll be like, I don't like it when players transfer colleges and simultaneously he's getting like a $500,000 check for winning the national title. But he says it with a pit in the ACC. But he says it with like a cool smile on his face. So you're like, I kind of like Dabo.

He's going. He seems like a nice guy. Right. And he is doing it differently. There's not. There's the hard ass way to do it. And Dabo's got a little bit of a different demeanor. And it works.

So great khakis too. Great khakis. He wears wonderful, like just awesome sweatshirts. Really great khakis. So credit to Clemson. Good job, Clemson. Hunter Renfrow will go for his third national championship next year.

Yep. Sixth year. Yeah, that'll be exciting to see. But yeah. Trevor Lawrence, by the way, one last thing about this game. I actually, there's a little bit of a hot take. I think he's going to be special. But I didn't walk away from that game being like, wow,

that he carved them apart. He threw a bunch of jump balls that the Alabama defense was terrible and the Clemson wide receivers made awesome plays. Can I tell you why? You weren't wowed by him? He's a little lanky. He's a little unwieldy still.

I don't want his hair. Yeah, well. That's not enough on you. I was going to agree with Big Cat. He's got just long straight hair. Correct. It's too straight. It's too straight.

It falls directly down to the ground. Correct. Thank you. I said that last night and people were like, oh, you're taking a shot at P.F.T.? They're like, no. Trevor Lawrence, his hair is. Where is he, you say that last night?

I said it on the live stream before he sat down. Because everyone was like, behind my back. No, you were actually looking at me. But I was wearing sunglasses. Trevor Lawrence, his hair is just a little too straight. It's too straight. And the way that it flops around, especially given that he hasn't filled out yet,

he's like a six month old dog. And he needs to still put on weight and different areas. His paws are big. His paws are big. He's got skinny shoulders. He's got skinny hips. Skinny knees. He's like Teddy Bridgewater 2.0.

But yeah, he just kind of flops around. And the hair flopping around kind of situates that. Yeah, and he, credit to him too, because he started the game. I was like, when I basically said Alabama was going to kill him, I think he started 2 for 7. I was like, uh-oh. My favorite thing is doing the when a freshman starts a game bad moment too big.

And but he bounced back big time. Yeah, he looks a little robotic at times. But then you have to remind yourself, he's still 19. He's still 19. He's also got a little bit of that LeBron James thing going for him, where he's going to start getting taller and putting on like 10 pounds every time somebody mentions his name.

So how tall is he now? Like 6'4? 6'8. 6'8? No, I'm just kidding. He's like 6'4. But eventually, he'll be 6'8. He'll be 6'8 by the time next season ends.

It'll be 260 pounds as well. And he'll have some grammatically incorrect tattoos on the inside of his bicep. That's Brock. Yeah, the Brock himself. All right, hot seat, cool throne. Hank. My hot seat I had in Bapak is Trevor Lawrence's new hot 19

year old phenom. But my other hot seat is PFT's Comfortability come Sunday. I got a little fun stat for you. I know it's not Monday, but. Well, I guess I have to go to church. Is that what you're saying? Alabama. So PFT actually is going to be recruited

as the backup quarterback at Clemson. Body double. Way too short. I'm actually not that short. Perfectly average height. Alabama and the Patriots. And actually Kyler Murray's height. Perfectly average height for a scapegoat.

Guess what, fellas? We're rebranding 5'9". You're not. Now it's Heisman height. That's what we're calling it. I'm 5'9". OK. Alabama and the Patriots have never won championships

in the same year, which is crazy because you would think they've been both dominating for the last 10, 15 years. Stupid stat. So I would have been worried. I would have been worried if Alabama had won last night. It's like, oh, shit, that means the Patriots probably are going to win the championship, which means they might lose next week.

But Alabama lost. Patriots are good. It's like saying the Washington Capitals and the Bull Moose party have never won in the same year. Well, if the Capitals won basically every year. No, it is a little bit of a crazy stat. Basically every year. You could do that with any team.

Well, no, it's a crazy stat because you could make the argument that the devil only can pick one team every year. Correct. All right. Well, guess what? On Sunday, we're going to be doing an electric chair. I think for the second half of that game, I'm calling it the electric razor chair.

Yeah. It's not already over. Because you're going to have to shave that beard and you're going to look weird. And everyone's going to be like, damn. I think you're real. What an unwieldy producer you have. Hank, without a beard, I think you'll still

look handsome as ever. Thank you. Big Cat. Not. Oh, you should have seen the look on his face. Damn, that was tough. That was tough. That was, I got you pretty good.

He was feeling himself. My cool throne is Anthony Scare-Mucci and all the award winning watchers. The mooch. Because now, starting today, we have, oh, you're waving. I'm waving to the people, as you say it. Hi, we're on TV. Starting today, we've launched a service.

That's the thing we've talked about for a few months. That's been coming. But we rolled it out today. It's Barstool Gold. I think it's a dollar a week. And you can watch every part of my take. We're going to have an extra episode of Part of My Take every month, but not with real guests.

Yeah, quick and painless speech about it. Please use our link, because we want you to use our link. So we know that you're subscribing for Pardon My Take stuff. So please use the Barstool Gold link. You can find it on our part. We'll tweet it. We'll pin it. We'll pin it.

We'll pin it on the Part of My Take. But I think it's Barstool Gold slash PMT. There you go. So it's Barstool Gold slash PMT. Please use our link. It will be every single episode on video. You can watch it. It will probably be out around 5 o'clock the day the episode

drops. And then like Hank said. 5 PM. So in the afternoon. Yeah, like Hank said, an extra episode a month where we do a nontraditional interview. The first one, we talked to a therapist. And we got to the bottom of our issues,

your trust issues with us. Because we always say we're going to do stuff. And then we never go through with it. And also, the therapist basically broke down Hank's whole entire life and he cried. Yeah, it was pretty ugly. Here's the bottom line. If you like it, great.

We'd love for you to join us and get some more part of my take and other content that we have out there. If you don't like it, don't worry. Because we're still going to be doing part of my take three times a week. We're going to still be doing all the regular stuff. You won't miss out on anything. It's not going to be like, hey, we have Aaron Rodgers.

But it's behind a paywall note. None of that stuff. It's all going to be there. So you can make your choice. Your big person, boy or girl, you make a choice. Hey, Big Ken, I have a question. Yeah. Aren't you just going to start putting everything behind

a paywall? Absolutely not. Thanks, Big Ken. And then there's no follow up to that. There's no follow up to that. Here's the thing. Nothing's changing. We're going to do the part of my take podcast three days a

week. Well, something's changing. We're adding one. We're adding. Yeah. But nothing is changing to what you already have. Correct. Everything that we do already, you're going to still get

for free. Don't worry about that. And if you don't want to sign up, that's fine. I get it. There's a lot of shit that I like. That I would not sign up for. Still love you. Still love you just as much.

You can still win an AWO award next year if you do everything right. www.barstoolgold.com slash PMT. OK. Make sure to use that URL. It actually helps us. It does help us. Yes, it does help us.

So sign up. Don't sign up. We don't care. Hey, chill out or chill out. That's your option. Mooch was ahead of his time. That's right. All right.

PFT, what do you got? My hot seat is Drake. Oh, yeah. So Drizzy. Big Time put himself on the hot seat. And then got roasted and canceled by Twitter. So Drake, I guess, put out a picture of him wearing an Alabama sweatshirt earlier.

And then Clemson football found it and said, we need to get you a Clemson sweatshirt, buddy. And then later it was actually a sweatshirt invitation canceled. You're not allowed to wear a Clemson sweatshirt. So he's getting to the point where now championship teams don't want him around. Yeah.

So I had AWL Blake hit me up DM me a theory that possibly, Drake, is he the best gambler in the world? Because he basically wears the clothing of the team and then bets against them. And it always works in his way. So he wears the Kentucky clothes. Here he says he's an Alabama fan. And he hangs out with Conor McGregor.

And then he bets against them in the big game and cashes his tickets. So he's almost jinxing himself. Yeah, he's jinxing the team publicly and privately profiting. I like that. I like a verbal meme. Drake saying no get away from me to a picture of Drake wearing the Alabama sweatshirt.

Drake saying, oh yes, to him cashing an Alabama or a Clemson ticket. I screwed that up. I'm lost. Let me start that over. No, no, no. I'm lost. No, don't cut this.

Don't cut this. We're cutting it. No, do not cut this. Go ahead. Verbal meme. My other hot seat. Oh, you want to try it again? No.

Verbal meme, Drake dancing hotline blank. Oh, that's good. Yeah, that's it. Good verbal meme. Yeah, there we go. Good verbal meme. My other hot seat is Donald Trump, because Pablo Escobar's brother, Roberto Escobar,

launched a GoFundMe campaign to impeach Donald Trump. So the Escobars are going after the Trumps, and he's hoping to raise at least $50 million for his company Escobar Incorporated. Damn. Yeah. So if you're looking for some way to spend your money, I'm sure Escobar Incorporated is on the up and up.

They definitely are going to come up with a Bitcoin. Yes. Yeah. And I'll buy it. Yeah, it's just called an eight ball. Yeah, I'll definitely. We'll get in on the Escobar bitcoins. I like that, though.

Escobar's back in bids. Yeah, we love it. The cool throne is my cool throne is going to Fogies. Old Fogies, because Phillip Rivers and Tom Brady are the oldest quarterbacks to ever face each other in the playoffs. Wow. How about that?

Fogies a slang word? Yeah, for old people. Old people. Yeah, you want to know it more, you know? Wow, that's crazy. So what are the ages? 41 and? I think Rivers is, that's a good question.

We'll get our stats department on that. OK, stats department, get on that. And also, there was a 90-year-old cyclist who won a competitive race, a bicycling race. What does that have to do with this? Fogies. Oh, not all the Fogies, got it. And he failed a PED test, and that's pretty cool

if you're 90 years old and you're still doing drugs. So I love it. My other cool throne is Sears. That's right, Sears. Hank, do you know what Sears is? You're a Fogie. Yeah, now I'm a Fogie for loving Sears. But they are back in business.

Sears is back. They were filing for bankruptcy, and they actually found somebody who agreed to purchase them and keep them open. Eddie Lampert, he runs a hedge fund. And after a series of last-minute negotiations without an agreement, Sears faced the possibility of liquidation.

But then they gave a $4.4 billion bid that will keep 425 Sears stores open. So thankfully, Sears is going to be open. And I'm sure that this isn't just a Band-Aid. I'm sure they're back big time. Sears is back. You're on Notice Amazon. Yeah, here comes Big Bad Sears.

Once they get a website up and running, you're fucked. You're absolutely fucked. All right, my hot seat is Alabama, not because of the football team, not because of all of the Alabama Crimson Tide fans. No, it's because there was a chicken tender accident on an Alabama highway. And I guess a bunch of people went to pick it up,

pick up the chicken tenders. Like literally just dump chicken tenders. And they had to have a public service announcement that if you pick it up, you can not only be arrested for stopping traffic, but it's a hazard to your health to eat the chicken tenders that were on the ground for over 24 hours. That's bullshit.

That is bullshit. They're just trying to scare you. Don't listen to them. It's never against the law to eat food that you found on the road. That is actually as a taxpayer in Alabama. That's your food. It's a highway.

Think about that. Not only the Crimson Tide lose, but those free chicken tenders on Highway 35 outside Cherokee County, not free. You can't have them. Now, I have to ask, do we know what restaurant it was from? Do not. Don't have that listed. But yeah, clearly matters.

I agree. If it was Raising Canes, I would set up my own roadblock. We'd fly down there right now. All right, my cool throne is the Minnesota Vikings. Guess what, Minnesota Vikings, you're season-ended poorly. But you have a great guy in charge in GM, Rick Spielman. So did you see this story? Nope.

OK, so Rick Spielman will. I just know anybody that pays Kirk Cousins $84 million has his shit together. You better believe that. Guess what? He is completely sane, totally fine. Don't even worry about it. He'll figure this whole thing out.

A little story about Rick Spielman and his game day routine. Spielman follows the same routine before every Vikings home game. And this week against the Cardinals is no different. This is how a general manager survives 13 NFL seasons by tempering his anxiety and finding order in the chaos. He wakes up at 5 AM. He takes his dogs for a walk following the same route.

He eats the same breakfast sandwich, fried egg, bacon, and peanut butter on a wheat round. He shaves the left side of his face, then the right. Wait, wait, wait. You said peanut butter and egg sandwich? No, fried egg, bacon, and peanut butter on a wheat round. Yes. OK.

Shaves the left side of his face, then the right. He puts his shoes and socks on before his pants, leaves his house at the same time so he can arrive at the stadium at 8, follows the same route, stops the same gas station, uses the same pump, and makes sure always to end his purchase on a zero. OK, so he's got OCD. Wow.

And that's OK. Puts his shoes and socks on before his pants. This is so crazy because he uses the same gas station and the same exact pump and makes sure it ends in zero. And that's not the third craziest thing in that story. That's also so hard to do to stop the pump at zero. No, if you do the little squeeze, you can do it. It's an art.

So actually, something tells me this guy doesn't do the little squeeze, though. Well, you know what? He's just kind of timed out. He's got the clock. And I said, you probably also, another thing that he does on the same schedule, stops working for the year and goes home

at the very end of December. Yes. Yeah, the zero thing, though, Hank, it doesn't sound like he makes the exact same amount every time. So he probably misses and then goes to the next one. Oh, so he tries to get $5 exact, misses it, and he's like, all right, I'll go to six. Zeros are just good.

Zeros are just there. Yeah, have you ever talked with somebody that has OCD and is fixated on certain numbers? Yeah, have you seen the corner of my office? I clearly have OCD. Yeah, exactly, the pile. No, it's an awesome conversation because he'll be like, do you have a favorite number?

And they'll be like, yeah, seven, and be like, why seven? And the only answer they'll have is seven is a good number. It's a perfect number. It's good, and then they'll eventually talk you into believing into their favorite number. Rick Speelman. Good job, good job, Minnesota. Your shoes, socks and shoes before his pants.

What kind of pants do you wear, MC Hammer pants? Yeah, how do you do that? Jinkos. How do you get those on? You got to wear jinkos. It's crazy. Boot cuts. Actually, it's so frustrating.

Have you ever tried to put on pants over socks and shoes? Yes. Yeah. I fuck up every now and again, and I forget to put my pants on until after I've got my shoes on. And when you do, it's the worst feeling. It's the worst feeling on earth. I think it actually should be.

I was thinking about this the other day, because you know, when you wake up and you have to take your dog out, but you have to put on pants, it should be. If you have a dog, and it's before 9 AM, you should be able to walk on the street in just boxers. Yeah, boxers and slippers. Yes.

And people can't say anything. It's like, it is what it is. It's the dog world, the dog walking world. I think I just invented something. Yep. Go on. Sweatpants slash pajama pants that have shoes sewn into them. Like really wide ankle shoes.

So they're not like real shoes. Is that just snuggies? Yeah, but like it's got a sole on the bottom of them. I think snuggies have a sole. No, snuggies, that's the blanket. Yeah, but the with arms, it's a blanket with arms. Going to have an inventory problem. Too many sizes.

I'm out. Wow. Hey, just. I've been watching a lot of Shark Tank. Hey, that would never fly. I would never need multiple sizes. Hey, just thought he was Damon Jane right there, John. It's just like small, medium, husky, big cat, ginormous.

Ouch. Obese. But what if you're obese and also small? No, I put you before husky. That's a compliment. No, you put me after husky. Oh. Yeah.

But what if you're like, what if you're like. I used to be husky. Like five, two, 300 pounds. But you need like a size. Then you should not be allowed to own a dog. Well, those are your body dimensions. Yeah, hey, care for yourself. There's no chance you'll raise a healthy puppy.

No, I was going to say, if you're five, two, 300. Hey, guess what, dude? Your dog's dead because you haven't walked in a long time. Right. Problem solved. Check the pile under your, in your kitchen. Your dog's under there. And so Hank, for that reason, I'm out on your offer.

Oh. Well, I didn't offer any. Wow. No, but I'm preemptively saying you can't invest. Wow. I need forward thinking minds in my company. You're out. You're out.

Thank you. I appreciate you letting me know that you wouldn't be a good fit for my foot pajamas with soles on them. All right, let's do our interview with Ryan Whitney. And on the other side, we got a little coaching carousel as well as bats are talking guys on chicks. Before we get to that, it's the cash app. It's time to talk about the cash card from the cash app,

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Okay, we now welcome on one of our very, very, very good friends. It is Ryan Whitney, former NHL. Did you make an All-Star team? No, but I would have one year, but I got hurt right before they picked the team, but I would have made it. I would have made it. Shit, okay.

You know what, fuck that. Former NHL All-Star, Ryan Whitney. He is here, he's gonna catch up. We're gonna catch up now with some hockey. We're gonna talk some other stuff. We have to catch up with hockey first though because we're at the point of the season where we have seven football games left

and PFC and I have this like, we scramble to realize that football is about to end and it's like, whoa, fuck, we gotta figure out something to get us, you know, to fill up our time. So, sell us on hockey in 2019. Well, I'm gonna sell you on a lot of parity, right? Around the entire league, it's almost like any team thinks they can win the cup.

Minus a few scrubs, you know, at the bottom of the divisions and conferences. But for the most part, there's many teams that are up and coming, looking good. I mean, the Avalanche are new, they've looked good, they've struggled a little lately but they got this incredible line. You know, it's just Tampa Bay has been dummying everyone

so their team that's gonna be in it, Boston, Toronto, they look unbelievable at times. Out West, you got Calgary, you know, you guys know Calgary in the great right north. They got one of the best offenses in the league, Johnny Bedro, Johnny Hammond, he's Johnny Hockey, he's fun to watch. So, around the league, I mean, there's tons of parity

because so many different teams have had good runs and been able to put themselves in positions where everyone's like, oh, I could be a buyer at the deadline as opposed to a bunch of teams thinking, all right, well, we got no chance. I like that, where would you put the Blackhawks? Are they one of the teams that just has no chance? You said that there are a few scrubs out there.

Do you wanna like go on and tell me if the Blackhawks are a scrub or not? PFT wins one cup. No, Big Cat, let me answer the question, he's the guest. I know, I mean, PFT was in Washington, you're getting a little high right now, no, I wasn't even gonna talk about the capitals. I'm worried about the Blackhawks.

If you want to talk about the Blackhawks, I'll ask a real question about the Blackhawks, is Corey Crawford gonna retire? God, you better hope not. I mean, that guy, I mean, you wonder what's going on there and you hope not, but that team, it's what happens, man. You know, you win all those titles, you have those incredible years,

you gotta pay all these guys and then they get a little bit older, they lose a half a step and that's all she wrote. Besides, I mean, Patrick Cain, Jesus Christ, that guy, maybe one of the best players of all time, he just, he continues to do it, he's so fun to watch with the team, they don't have the depth, Big Cat,

you remember back in the day, they have bowled down on the third line, they had all these guys that could score, play in third and fourth line and now they really don't. So it's an unfortunate instance of after having so much success with the salary cap, you just almost can't continue it, unless you're the new angle patriot.

It's one of those weird things where it's like, you look at the, some of the guys have gotten older and they're still getting paid a lot and you have to ask yourself, well, that kind of sucks, but they also won three cups. So, eh, you know, it's cost to do business. You wouldn't trade it. No, cost to do business.

I have a quick question about Calgary, you mentioned Calgary. Is that, is that barn as cool as it looks? Cause I love to look at pictures of the Saddle Dome. It's really cool to look at from the outside, but it's a complete shithole. Okay, I'll never go. And there's big, yeah, yeah.

Well, I don't know, you may think it's a cool experience to go there, but I mean, if you're a season ticket holder and you're from Calgary, you're going to get sick and tired. You know, everyone says, wow, that looks so cool. They had the Olympics there. Well, dude, why don't you come inside? It's a complete dump.

But it's a good atmosphere. It gets loud, but for like a current day, you know, pro sports arena, it's in the very, very low bottom percentage of that entire list. For people who like to look at stadiums like myself, go just Google the Saddle Dome in Calgary and then also Google the time that there was a flood, which was crazy.

Just some cool pictures to look at. I don't know. It's like a flood inside. You know, the flood went all the way almost up to it. Like there was a flood of the river, New York, whatever, probably the Mississippi, I don't know. Yeah, probably, yeah. Missouri, Sky River, something like that.

I don't really know. The Mississippi River, it just turns up towards Calgary. It's actually the same river. Every river in North America is the Mississippi River, as far as I'm concerned. Hold on, I'm going to show, I'm going to show PFT a picture. What's your favorite bar to play in? Oh, Montreal PFT, you should see this place.

Just the fans right on top of you. I don't know if they have building codes or something that's different in North America, but the seats just go straight up. It's loud as hell. The French are completely nuts. I mean, they're just dying to get a cigarette at the break when they can go outside for a minute.

The night before, for the most part, is great dinner. A lot of entertainment in Montreal, if you know what I'm saying. Yeah. So it's by far away with my favorite place to play. I loved it. I ate it up. You meant the poutine, right?

As far as entertainment goes. Could you tell a difference between, like at some point when you spend enough time in Montreal, oh, that's a very cool saddle, though. Yeah, I just showed the picture of the flood. At some point after you spend enough time playing in Montreal, could you like shit talk back to the fans in French?

No, I do not know any French. I know zero French. I just remember. Really? You know, you could see. I don't know what I mean. You are an intellect of your caliber? You are Lézé Culpétal.

Yeah. That's a swear, that call, yes. Tabernac. So that's like a couple of swear words right there for you guys if you want to repeat those. Okay. Tabernac. So I don't know any other French, though.

And you know what? Like those people, they're not great shit talkers. They just post cigarette smoke in your face. They boo their home team. They boo the away team. But it's still a great atmosphere to play in. Okay. Hey, World Juniors, why should we care?

Are they over? They are over USA loss in the gold medal game for Finland. Fuck. Be Canada, though, right? I know. Dude, spoiler. Breaking news. Breaking news.

Shit. That is breaking news. Well, Finland doesn't exist, remember? Yeah. There's conspiracy theory. That's not a real country. And we beat Canada, right? Finland beat Canada.

We didn't have to play Canada in a tournament. Okay. Canada lost. We made it further than Canada didn't medal for the first time in 13 years of hosting the tournament. So suck on that one, Canada. Wait, so do we care about World Juniors? Did you ever play in World Juniors?

And is Canada hockey on a down, like are they over the hill? Is the dynasty over? No, I'm not gonna say that. I didn't play in one World Juniors. I played in two of them. And they were in second public. They were in second public the first year. And then the second year was actually in Halifax,

which was incredible. That city, what a time Halifax is. Oh, they got the liquor domes, like eight bars in one. And now it's phenomenal. But I don't mean, listen, you guys, you guys are fringe hockey fans. Your hockey fans, what the playoff starts. You may not love it, but for diehard hockey fans,

this tournament is the best 18, 19 year olds in the world and a bunch of names that will go on to star in the NHL. So basically, you know, if you like hockey, like falling your draft picks, and me, and me, you know, and I occasionally start PFT. I don't really appreciate that little chirp. I had big games in my life. You were in all star.

You played on good teams. But what would have been an all star. Well, here's a tip. You would have played on good teams. Here's a tip for the World Juniors. Don't have them during bull season. That's pretty simple. Have them the week in between the championship game

and the Super Bowl. Yeah, or even February, the second week of February. Yeah. I like that too. When you're just as depressed as all hell, right? Right. Is it something to brag about that you played twice? Isn't that like a dude that plays on JV two years in a row?

No, no, because you just compared junior varsity, which is what you did growing up in high school, the best hockey tournament in the world. New Orleans Juniors. No, I don't think a world hockey championship, you can never play in it too often. Because if you make it five times, that means you made it when you're 15, 16, 17, 18, 19.

So there's no JV involved in the world IIHF under-20 championship. So you played twice, you were like the Danny Almonte of Junior Hockey. You just changed your birth certificate. I would love to go back and be like the Danny Almonte and be the 35-year-old playing against the 19-year-old. Could you play right now?

Before I get walked. Could you play on the World Juniors? Could you play? Could you? No. Oh, God, no. These kids, I mean, now the NHL, you're starting out when you're 19. Yeah.

Took you a little while. I couldn't even sniff getting on that ice right now. Damn. Are there any fights in that tournament? No, no fighting in international hockey. You kicked out of the game. And I think you kicked out of the next one, too. Why is it a rule that every international hockey game,

they have to have some type of SUV in the corner of the ring? That's only in the games over in Europe. And I've never understood that. And you know, gold figure, the only team who does it here is when the Islanders play in Brooklyn. Yeah, yep. In the whole arena. They stick a Subaru in the back corner.

You could win it at the shootout after the first period. Yeah, it takes up like probably 20 rows of seats back. It's so weird to look at. You mentioned the lightning earlier, that you said they're a wagon. Are they're dumbing people? One of those weird things that you said.

They're a wagon. What could go wrong for the lightning? Because they're so far in the lead. What are they, 32 and 8? I don't have their record right in front of me, but they just went on like a 150 and 1 run. Or say, I think they're 15, 1 on 1 in their last 17 games. They just have all the pieces.

You know, when you see like the Saints this year and the NFL guys, I'm going to bring it to NFL terms. You know, you see the Warriors and the goddamn NBA. They have all the pieces. That's kind of the lightning. So what could go wrong for them is some injuries. But other than that, I mean, it's going to be really hard for anyone to beat them.

They got a great goalie, couple really good defensive men, and then some super star forward. So they kind of got it all. Do they have, though, now we're coming at it from a mental standpoint here. Yeah. That's a big thing. I feel like the lightning, they lost in the cup

to the Blackhawks. They lost to the Caps last year with home ice. Like, what? Or did they have home ice? Yeah, they did. They were there for game seven. They were there for game seven. And they played a clunker in game seven.

Did part of my take with you in the Tampa Bay Lightning. Is there a clutch gene problem? Man, that's a tough call. I mean, I think they can get it done. I think they have the players to get it done. But guys like you could question their clutch gene until they win, right? I mean, like, did the Capitals have the clutch gene last year?

No. But now, yeah, they do. So I can't, I'm not going to say no. I guess you could say no until they win. But I think they're a team that could easily win. So therefore, I'm going to give them the clutch gene just because of the success they've had in the regular season. Washington was great last year.

They took them to seven. I mean, listen, they came as close as anyone else did. So I think that they got it this year to maybe get by. But you're still going to have to beat Washington or Pittsburgh itself or Toronto. Toronto's a wagon. And they're up north. They got all in Canada.

Either loving or hating them. So it's going to be tough. And it's not going to be easy. But right now, they're the favorite. Do you think? I got money on them. So they're the over the hump team. They've got to get over the hump.

Do you think there's any chance a Canadian team can win a Stanley Cup this year? Rank them. Yes. Winnipeg number one, Toronto number two, Calgary number three. All of them, if they won the cup, I wouldn't be shocked. But it's also not like that likely. I know that's kind of weird to say.

Winnipeg are a really good team. If they get good goal turning and their offense is good, I mean, they wouldn't surprise me one bit. Calgary would just because unless they make some deals, they're not at really as deep. And Toronto's got a great offense. But they need a little help on defense too. So those are the three teams that could get it done.

Other than that, you're looking at nothing than the other ones. How does that work if one Canadian team makes it to the Stanley Cup finals? Does the entire nation of Canada, do they line up behind that one team? Or are they still like, hey, no, I'm a, I hate to make beliefs.

I'll never cheer for those guys. If it was the Leafs, it would be, you know, like people would be rooting so hard for whatever team they were playing against, you know, like just because they're in Canada, people don't necessarily like the Leafs. I think it would be the case for most of the teams where there are people,

going to be people who hate them. But if you look at the Winnipeg Jets, I would say Canada's going to kind of rally behind them. Same with Calgary. Toronto's just a different animal. They're just hated or loved. It's kind of like the Yankees. Okay. Riddle me this, riddle me that.

Why is, why are they called the Leafs and not the Leafs? That's a great question. I mean, you're the grammar guy. I don't fucking know. Has anybody ever sat down and thought about that? No, I don't think so. Maybe back in the day, they just, they didn't even use Leafs.

Maybe the V and the E and the F got brought in way later. And when the team was formed in the early 1900s, it was still FS. Canada didn't use the V until recently. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Here's an important question. Give me a trend to start betting on hockey.

Okay. Okay. Well, I'm going to, I'm going to have you try to look at teams who, on the second game of a back to back on the road, right? So the Minnesota Wild last night played in Montreal. Oh, you know what? I shouldn't have said last night. We're recording this on Tuesday. The Minnesota Wild played Monday night in Montreal.

They won. Then they got stuck at the airport with a big delay flying into Boston and they got to play the Bruins in Boston tonight. Therefore, I'm going to hit the Bruins. Okay. I'm putting it in right now. You're going to be, you're going to be pretty decent favorites. They're going to be pretty decent favorites, but when a team has to travel and play a back to back,

it's really hard that second thing. What about, I saw a little trend. You know, I'm a big trend guy. I like to do these little quirky trends. What about the dad trip? Explain the dad trip in the NHL. And then I saw a trend that maybe dad trips, the team always wins because they're playing for their dads.

Yeah. It's really one or the other. I mean, when those, when the dad trip started, well, then one year they brought in the mom's trip or all the guys were like, oh, it is a little different. But the dad trip, I remember the one, the one year, like, you know, we were, I was on Pittsburgh and we, we went to the, we were in New York city and somewhere else for the dad trip. So the dad came home at like three in the morning.

So what is it that when they explain what it is? Oh, oh, okay. Sorry. Well, the dads will fly into the home city. You know, usually they'll watch a game at home. If not, you hit the road. So your dad gets the, they get the, they get the NHL experience. They get the ride to the airport. They get the ride directly onto the tarmac.

Then they take your car. When you're away, they might clean it. They might wash it. They park it. You walk onto the jet. No big deal. You just, you know, you don't even deal with security. You do, but you don't really have to do anything.

It's fake security. Then you go on the plane and the dad get to see the suit, the sushi, excuse me. They get to see all the snacks laid out. They get to see the big first class seats. They get to see the menu with the logo of the team you play for. Maybe your name's even on the seat. It's just basically that first class experience for the dad

who made all the sacrifices for you to get there and got up, hung over those mornings and drove you to the rink at 6am. So he gets the private jet life. Then you get into the city and the dad gets his own room. Well, back in my day at the beginning, they actually shared a room with the players. But then moving forward, you know, they go to the game. They go to pregame skate.

You get pictures of the team with, you know, your son and the rest of the team on the ice. Then they go to the game that night. And then the dad, listen, the players play. They can't really go out. The dads go rip it. It's like a full blown fender. It's a first class experience.

It's all, it's a dad's dream. They don't miss them. If dads are like struggling at work or something, they're like, I don't give a fuck. I won't miss that dad's trip. And so the one, the, my first one, my dad went out with all the guys. One of the, one of the fathers,

he was shit-faced coming in. He buried himself, tripped over his own feet in front of the hotel, had to get stitches in his chin. Then my dad got to the room and he didn't want to like wake me up. And he thought I'd wake up. So he woke me up anyways, being loud. Goes in the bathroom to fall asleep. I recently told this on chicklets.

He's going to read. He's going to read in the bathroom, which doesn't keep me up. Well, I get woken up at 4.35 o'clock to a complete smashing loud noise in the bathroom. When he fell asleep on the toilet, reading his book, his legs fell asleep. So when he went to get up, they were asleep. And he just went towering and ripped off the towel holder,

crashed into the wall. It was like a big dog, like a broken toilet seat. I was like, what the fuck dad? I have a game at seven o'clock tonight. So the dad's trip is, uh, dad's trip for real. I think when the dad's trip ends every year, it's kind of one of those, it's dads fly home from the dad's trip. The way people fly home from Vegas.

You know, you're fucking your thumb. Right. That's awesome. That's the most hockey thing that I've ever heard in my life, too. So like have this trip. So they try to do it for the miles. You know what they do, too? And then they put all the dads in a box with like the kids jerseys on, which I think is kind of stupid.

But, you know, they'll do that once in a while and just basically get them on TV. Actually, my buddy's dad was just on his dad's trip and he scored Kevin Hayes. He scored the game winner in the shootout. And then they went right up to his dad. It was hilarious. So that's the trend is that like when the dad's trip happens,

the guys are all playing a little extra, a little pep in their step, you know, the season's a long season, might be mid January, mid February, mid December, wherever it may be, the dads come out and they're like, all right, I got to show up for my dad and the teams do well. Oh, I'll tell you right now. It's, it's not even about like, I want to play good in front of my dad.

It's like, if I play bad, I'm going to get tortured by my dad like I did when I was 11. I remember my dad, I remember my dad pushing me around the hallways of Walter Brown Arena at Boston University's campus. And he was burying me into the wall going, hockey's a physical game. And he would hit me into the wall. He got to hit people.

So if I didn't play good in the NHL, he'd still give me the same shit. I'd get on the bus, sit next to him and wouldn't talk to me. Okay, I love it. I love it. So what happened on the mom's trip? Why did you guys just like, uh, he's acted like he stayed in and played cards the whole time?

Or what was that like? The mom's trip, we like lost eight, nothing. And then my mom gave me a hug and said, you played great. I was like, I was minus five. What are you talking about? So every single team does a dad's trip?

Yeah. Now everyone does. Uh, I think Pittsburgh was, I think Ray Sherrill was a GM pitcher. He brought it over from Nashville and now every team does it. But at the beginning, I think I was one of the kind of the first few teams to end up getting to experience that.

And it actually is, it's so, it's so special. I mean, to get to do that with your dad or your mom, it's like dream come true for everyone involved. It's why hockey's the best sport. It's that and the handshake lines. Means more, you know? You guys, you guys love the handshake line. I love the handshake.

And you're battling through injuries, you know? And it's just being modest, just modesty involved in hockey. I love when guys shit talking the handshake line because it's like, of course they should talk. They just went to war for seven games. But they're doing this performative handshake. Isn't there a game that you guys play

and you make sure to play it like earlier on so the kids can stay up and watch it or something like that? You guys schedule some game around making sure that kids can, can watch it. I forget what it is. One of these weird. Oh, I have no idea. No, hockey does have these weird shirts.

They don't play during Christmas break. They give everyone Christmas off. They don't, we get Christmas off. No, Christmas off. Yeah. There's a, there's a, yeah. There's a, there's a trade shutdown window. So you can't get dealt as you're like cutting

into a turkey on Christmas Eve. There you go. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. Um, all right. So I have two last questions.

First one is did you, the, the whole, uh, Seguin stuff in Dallas, the owner ripping him, what did you make of that? So tell us what happened and tell us like, where did the team go? Where does the team go from there? Um, yeah. So actually the, uh, the team in Dallas for the last 10 years,

it hasn't been great. They've made the playoffs only twice and the owner, and I never can pronounce the names like Gagli, Artie, or like Lardi, I don't know. G-A-G-L-A-L-A-L-G-I. I don't sound like that. I crushed it. I'm not a, I'm not a name guy.

Well, he obviously made it clear that he was pissed off and sick and tired of the effort and the team struggling and always kind of middling or what's the word, middling around 500. What's that word? Middling. Middling. You know what I'm talking about?

Middling. Middling. No. So he's sick and tired of that. And what they did was he kind of made his CEO, this guy, Jim Light, uh, he wanted him to really call out, uh, their two highest paid best players, Jamie Benz, the captain, Tyler Sagan,

just signed a huge extension. These guys are not the issue in Dallas. Now, granted, they haven't played, um, maybe as top five, 10 players in the league, but they haven't been bad either. But he just went off. I mean, he went off like you wouldn't believe. He called them horse shit.

He ripped on them. I mean, it was just swear word, cuss word, cursing one after another, just carving these two guys. And I just thought it was bullshit because he never said it to their face. They just woke up one morning and saw these quotes. Now, this and that, he's on the other side.

He's like, well, they had to do something. The team sucked. This guy's not friends with them. He doesn't give a fuck. He works for the owner, which I understand. Just the way he went about it. I mean, he could have said things in public, uh, that would have kind of got the message across,

but he decided and then instead to just completely carve these guys entire livelihood and how they play the game. And, you know, their professional career, and I just thought that was bullshit. So I think since then the team has played a little bit better. Ben then got injured.

So he's out right now. But after that, I mean, you know, those guys are so well liked that they got texts from their teammates like, dude, we don't think you're, you know, you're a brutal leader. We love playing with things like that. But it was unprecedented in terms of having an owner,

this, you know, the owner's right hand man and the owner's mouthpiece just come out and carve players in the, in public. You never see it happen. So it was, it got hockey into the limelight a little bit more, which I guess it wasn't the best way, but it was, it was interesting to say the least. That's great.

Would you say that, that BizNasty is more of the mouthpiece for the owners on your podcast? BizNasty's kind of, he speaks for himself, you know what I'm saying? Like he has his own beliefs and he doesn't really waver to anyone else unless he wants to get in one of the owner's good books. And I have no clue that he could be doing that.

Okay, okay. I'm just trying to, this is how, this is how you move product, right? You got to get a little rival. Spit and Chill is podcast. You should download it. It's great. It's our two friends or three friends,

Ryan Whitney, Rear Admiral and BizNasty. And all right, so my last question. Did you, what? Yeah. What were you gonna say? No, I was like, did you see LeBron carrying the f**k away? That was where I was gonna ask. Okay, so let me just tee it up.

So Seeky question, promo code take, put in promo code take, you get $10 off, go to a hockey game. It's the league of the future because in the immediate future, there's no more football. Yeah, and Canada sucks at it. So this is the US's time to suck.

So this is gonna be it here, guys. It's the future. So put in promo code take, you get $10 off. LeBron James walks into a game at the Staples Center. He is injured and he walks in with a glass of wine. Everyone in the world saw it. You know what it is. But I need, I literally, I saw it

and the first thing I said was sheesh. And the second thing I said was, I need to hear what Ryan Whitney has to think about this. I got tagged on Instagram. You know, I'm meeting, I had hundreds of people tagging me and I just shook my head. I was disgusted. I said, this fucking asshole is injured.

He's not even playing in the game and he still has to be the show. It's the ego. That's what I've always told you about the NBA. It's the ego on these assholes to think that they're bigger than the team. They're bigger than the league. So LeBron doesn't only just come out and say he's the goat.

He's the best of all time. He then carries wine into the fucking game. So then people are talking about him. Oh, what did LeBron carry into the game? Forget talking about the Lakers and the guys who were actually putting their blood, sweat, and tears into trying to win. We're gonna talk about the guy injured

who's carrying in fucking red wine and probably wasn't even KMS too. It's probably cheap red wine that asshole. He's carrying that in looking like a clown. And by the way, no hockey player would ever do that. They might carry it in in one of those things called those Yeti coolers where you don't know. Maybe you think it's a shake and it's wine

but he's not gonna openly show you it's red wine. And no hockey player is gonna go around and say he's the greatest of all time either. You know what they're gonna do? They're gonna say my teammates are the best teammates of all time because they don't need everything to be about them. They don't need all the attention.

It's a team sport hockey. Basketball is it? Basketball. You got guys in the NBA telling fans to kill themselves? Are you kidding me? You think an NHL player would tell a fan to kill themselves? No, they'd say, hey, fan, thank you for watching us. Thank you for coming to our game.

Go out and talk to them. You can make the NHL. They're not gonna say kill yourself. They won't jump in the crowd and start beating them up. No, no, they're nice to the fans. We love you. Yeah. Hey, fan, thanks for helping pay my salary.

You make a good point. Not a fan. Kill yourself. There's no hockey player that would ever go by the nickname like the greatest or the great one. Yeah. Hey, fan. Or Mr. Great One.

No, he would have a nickname. He would have a nickname be given to him. What happens with the NBA, PFT, is they give themselves nicknames like the loser in school. NHL players wait for nicknames to be given them and then they roll with it. And it's a big difference between both persona and personality. It's always either like, if it's you, Witte or the Whitser.

Whitsy. That's about it. Yeah, yeah. What were you? What was your nickname? Ears. Unfitney. Unfitney.

Oh, that hurts. I like this. So this might be. A couple of guys in Anaheim called me Unfitney. But most of the time I was just Witte. You know what? I was just Witte. What's up, Whitter?

You know a lot of Canadians at ER. Whitter. I like this. This is a new segment. Hey, fan from a hockey striker. Hey, fan, we love you. You know what? Hey, fan, we bring our dads around so that you can see

where we came from. You enjoy the game as well. Yeah. Hey, let me ask you something. NBA fan, why don't you go shine my shoes and then get my car around back? But NHL fans, thanks for coming out. We love and appreciate you including our team on.

That's different. You guys do a verbal handshake line with all of your fans. I love it. I love it. I used to wink at fans. You know, an NHL player, maybe he sees a girl in the crowd and says, hey, how are you? He kind of gives the eye version.

NBA players send handlers up to meet the girls. It's an entire different way of life. And it's a disgusting thing that I see regularly. The only cool thing I've seen in the NBA this year is Kyrie Irving. When he was leaning on his feet like that, that was cool. But that was the only cool thing in the NBA. That was great.

What about this, Witter? How about all these NHL players skipping the All-Star Game this year, which the fans really enjoy watching, but NBA players, if they get selected, they always go. And NHL players care about their team and trying to win the Stanley Cup. Oh. And by skipping the All-Star Game,

by skipping the All-Star Game, they're going to save themselves a cross-country flight. And Alexander Ovechkin will be ready to play in the playoffs as opposed to wasting energy going back and forth across the country. NBA players just want to try to get some kills in a city where they're going to get recognized because they're all seven-foot-one and have huge wrenches.

All right, that's fair. That's fair. Yeah. All right, Ryan, Whitney, Spitton, Chiklitz. Thank you so much for your time. We always enjoyed talking to you. And hopefully see you soon. Anytime at PFT, I saw at PFT.

I heard that little year's comment. I fucking heard that in between all the time. Yeah, I know you heard it. Cheers. Don't take off. Forget that. You fucking freck. All right, see you on Fitney.

See you later, Witter. Bye, guys. Bye, buddy. That interview with Ears Whitney was brought to you guys by MeUndies. I'm wearing my MeUndies right now. Hank, you wearing yours? Sure I am.

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First up, we have coaching carousel. So it is that time of year. NFL coaching vacancies have to be filled. We have a couple that have been filled. We have Bruce Arians, which we reported. First, Bruce Arians and Todd Bulls, it sounds like. Where's Todd Bulls going to Tampa? Yeah, you were crying in the corner

about Cody Park at the time. We reported on Sunday's night show at 846 that Todd Bulls and Arians are getting the band back together from Arizona and they're going down to Tampa Bay. Tampa Bay. So Bruce Arians, Tampa Bay. We have Cliff Kingsbury to Arizona, which I don't...

This USC thing that Cliff Kingsbury did was so weird. Yeah. Like so weird. Which tenure did you enjoy the most? Cliff Kingsbury at USC or Mani Diaz at Temple? Cliff Kingsbury. Yeah, there was some good time. The nice thing is he probably went out to California,

probably banged a couple of actresses. Long out. Long out, went to the beach. He basically took... Went to Snoop Dogg's house. Yeah, a month-long vacation, getting stoned, going jogging, shirtless on a number of boardwalks, and then just took another job further east.

I'm a little sad about the Cliff Kingsbury thing because this means that Josh Rose and Stat Line's are probably going to get better because now he's got the offensive guru. So I just quickly wrote down my top three Josh Rose and Stat Line's of the year. You ready for him? Yeah.

He was nine for 20 for 136 yards, three touchdowns and two interceptions. Who's ever thrown for 136 yards and three touchdowns? That's a very active Stat Line. That one makes no sense. Number two was 13 for 22, 132 yards, zero touchdowns, two interceptions. That one's good.

And then number one, easy choice. 12 for 23, 87 yards. That's really nice. Wait, 12 for what? 23. 87 yards, zero touchdowns, zero interceptions. Somebody looked us up. How many games did Josh Rose and complete exactly 12 passes?

He was probably a number of them. Right around there. So that one's done. So has there ever been a nickname that somebody else comes up with that you just kick yourself for not thinking of? No. Well, I'll give you one. Yeah.

Unfitney. Unfitney's pretty good. Yeah. I'll give you a new one. Manish Mehta. Is it Manish or Manish? Manish. Manish Mehta from New York, some New York paper.

He calls him Kiss Sexbury. It's pretty good. Kiss Sexbury? Kiss Sexbury. That's terrible. That doesn't even rhyme. That's pretty good. You're kicking yourself right now.

No, it doesn't rhyme. I know I'm kicking myself. Kiss Sexbury. That's such a good nickname. God damn it. What is a sexbury? I think he just wants to fuck Cliff Kingsbury. Yeah, what is that?

I think that's what's going on. That's a weird one. Okay. That's okay. Yeah. But there's no chance in hell I would take a job on Kingsbury staff. Well, if you're an offensive coordinator. Here's why you can.

Because they just fuck you. They just fired a guy after one year. They can't do that again. They can. They can. This is the Cardinals. No, they can't. It's the Cardinals.

They have to at least let him stay two years. And I do think he'll do okay. We were talking about this yesterday in the car. Like hiring an offensive guy, at least you buy yourself a little time because the defense can suck. As long as the offense is good, you can be like, well, our defense sucks. It's offensive leave.

What are you going to do? Like people just want points. But here's the thing. If you are an offensive coordinator and you want to work for Cliff, you got to know that if the offense works, Cliff's getting 120% of the credit. Yeah, he's the head coach. Yeah, he's going to get all the credit for it.

And so you won't be like. He'll probably call his own plays though. He probably won't even hire an offensive coordinator. He'll probably be Sean McVeigh. You think so? Yeah. We also had Matt LaFour to the Green Bay Packers, which we were laughing about as well because he was built

in a little lab for hot new coaches. So the hot new. He's the next Sean McVeigh. Yeah, the hot new coach lab goes as follows. It's got to be 40 years or younger. It's got to be some point. Someone has called him a QB guru or whisperer. He has to have some relation to Kyle Shanahan, Sean McVeigh,

or Andy Reed. Yeah. Well, more importantly, you have to have coached on the 2012 Washington Redskins. But not been like the head coach. Now, I went, I looked at that staff because you have, obviously, Sean McVeigh was a tight ends coach. Yep.

LaFleur was the quarterback's coach. And then Shanahan was the offensive coordinator. Now, that was the year that they had Robert Griffin. Yes. And just did weird shit the whole time. And so nobody knew how to stop it. And then, check this out. Offensive line coach, Chris Forrester.

OK. He's a cocaine guy. Oh, nice. Yeah. So nice. I hope he gets a job next. Well, so finishing the bingo for a new like, like you built in a lab, these coaches,

they also have to have some, it's a bonus point if they played either D3 football or like low level division one or extra bonus for an arena league stint. Yeah. Because Matt LaFleur played for the Omaha beef. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So that's nice.

And then bonus, bonus point if your name's Matt. Because now the NFC North has three mats as their head coaches. Oh, shit. Yeah. So we had four mats. So now what we're seeing is we're seeing former quarterbacks who were named Matt. Yeah.

We're evolving out of the golden age of Matt quarterbacks. Yes. And they're becoming offensive gurus. So the next one is going to be, I, fuck, I wrote down the name. I think it's going to be Zach Taylor. Zach Taylor is going to be the next head coach for someone because he is 35 years old. He coached under Sean McVeigh.

He was a quarterbacks coach and a QB whisper. So if someone circle him, he's going to be the guy. Guess what? You could say that we've been underneath Sean McVeigh's tutelage at one point. True. For five minutes in a van. Standards of standard.

Standards of standard. There you go. We are Sean McVeigh disciples or so. I like how they describe Matt LaFleur up in Green Bay as being the guy that's going to, he's going to challenge Aaron Rodgers intellectually. So Aaron Rodgers gets bored with dumbasses. You need to give him the Kong ball.

Yeah, we were saying he's like a dog. He's like a border collie that you can't leave him at home by himself because he'll get separation and anxiety. And his mind will drive himself crazy. He'll just gnaw his paws. Chew on your furniture. Yeah, just bleed everywhere. He's fighting his nails off all the time.

Keep him at work. He needs riddles. Just give him a riddle of the daybook and he'll be fine. Yeah. So teach him a couple of new tricks and Aaron Rodgers will be just fine. Also great that they hired the guy who had the dynamic. Tennessee Titans offensive.

Yeah. I'm going to hand the ball to Derek Henry 50 times a game. Yeah. Boom. Give me a job. Give him a job. You know who didn't get a job and who I'm starting to think might have the stink on him?

Josh McDaniels. Oh. So he, that was weird because he went and interviewed and then there was a report that he's like, I've decided I'm not going to be doing this. Like, I think he has to sit out a couple of years for what he did to the Colts, don't you? You think word gets around?

No. I think he, I think it's honestly, do you think Josh McDaniels is a blackball case? Put that ahead of Colin Kaepernick. Him and Mangini too. Yeah. The Mangini and some McDaniels might be both back blackball. Interesting.

So that's coaching carousel. We'll fill in the rest as they come in. Next up, we have a PR 101 for Derek Rose. So Derek Rose, having a very good year, having a resurgent year. Tom Thibodeau was fired from Minnesota and Derek Rose said, I have a lot of confidence in myself. Tibbs was just the coach that believed in me.

I mean, he jumped started my career again. And for that, I'll always be thankful. But everyone that thinks that it's going to stop, kill yourself. Ooh. It's just not. That's what he said. It's just not. So, and then he doubled down on it.

He said after he said, I have a lot of confidence in myself. So again, like I said before, kill yourself. You don't think I can do it. Like I said before, kill yourself. He then after, I don't know, maybe an hour and a half, and everyone was like, whoa, Derek Rose, did you mean to say that? He tweeted, I messed up by using the slang term, kill yourself.

Everyone knows the slang term, kill yourself. Yeah, kids are saying it everywhere. Wow. I messed up by using the slang term, kill yourself today in response to a question about whether I can continue to perform without coaching Tibbs. I did not mean it literally and regret using it. So I apologize.

Hey, Derek Rose, if people killed themselves, they wouldn't be able to watch their kids graduate. True. Eventually, you should have thought of that. Walk down the town, yeah. Yeah. So maybe think before letting your tongue slip next time. Well, he did clarify.

He literally, he didn't mean to literally kill yourself. So we got that. Mm-hmm. You think there's anyone out there who's like, well, shit. Too late. I read that and he just like drives to the nearest bridge. Yeah, listen, I'm already in my garage.

Yeah, god damn it. Oh, wait, you didn't mean it literally. Turn off the car. Yeah. Yes, forget it. We're wild. I mean, Derek Rose has never been good with the media and this is going back all the way.

Like he just doesn't, he says things sometimes like the graduation thing. Yeah. I remember when he got a new contract. That was right after he got the new contract. He was like, oh, yeah, I want to do what's best for my health. Like what? Come on.

You just got 120. He just doesn't, like sometimes the questions and what he responds, they just don't always compute. This is a wild thing to tell somebody to kill themselves over too. Like if somebody, you think I can't play good basketball without Tom Tibido? Yeah.

Kill yourself. That's a weird. It's a very small. It's a big jump to make. It's a very small group of people that have a strong enough take to be like, I don't think he's going to do anything now. Now that Tom Tibido is gone.

Yeah. He's got a quick trigger for kill yourself. It's a new slang. It's a new slang. Well, I thought it was a slip of the tongue. USA Today described it as an unfortunate slip of the tongue. Who amongst us has not accidentally, sometimes you just open your mouth and that's what comes out.

When you say it twice, you don't get the slip of the tongue tag. Right. When you double down, the slip of the tongue doesn't work anymore. Okay. Let's finish up. We have bachelor talk and guys on chicks. Bachelor talk. The bachelor is back Colton.

Who you guys, I'm sure remember. No way. Yes. Is he the virgin? He is the virgin that played in the NFL. My guy. People are calling the Jackie Robinson of the bachelor because he is the first virgin bachelor ever.

That's that's what we're tossing out there. I like that. Yeah. Get a number 42. That's the exact same thing. Yeah. Yeah. Same same experience.

So it was the first night they had watch parties all over all over the world. For those three hour episode naturally. He was introduced three hours. Three hours. Why not longer? Three hours is so long. Jesus Christ. While I watch like every college for walking with those four and a half hours.

Go ahead. He met all the girls. There was a lot. There's a lot of jokes, but there's all the virginity jokes made at his expense. Classic. That's going to be a common theme throughout the entire series. Wait. So he is the bachelor.

He is the bachelor. Yes. I like it. See, I told you that you guys laughed at me last year. When I said, I like this guy. He's got a thing. He's got a thing. I don't think he did.

I mean, like, yeah, we said that he wasn't going to win the bachelorette. Yeah. But guess what he got? Entire season devoted just to him. He's this is going to. This is such a fucking ratings grab. Yeah. When he fucks for the first time in the fantasy.

Well, so that's basically the first episode was a normal first episode. He met a bunch of girls there. They're fighting over who gets to talk to the most, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But then at the end, well, and they did a, what's the guy's name? Chris Harrison. Is that his name? No idea. Whoever that Hanson.

Whoever the host is. They did like a five minute like video. Chris Hanson. One of the girls was five years old. It seemed like he was dying and they were like showing like an in memoriams because they showed like a whole highlight reel of every episode. It's pretty good though. But then at the end, they did a teaser of like what's to come in the season.

And there was a part where Colton was breaking down, crying and ran away. Because he came to play. He fucked the first time. Probably because he lost his virginity, but he didn't wish he did. It wasn't as magical as he thought. There were no candles. He shouldn't lay down roses for him. Shit.

So that's basically the main, going to be the main storyline is who is going to take Colton's virginity. Okay. Describe your first time. Moving on. We forgot to do parental advisories. Can we do that real quick before we get to guys on chicks? Sure.

This is for Alabama hot takes. Yeah. This dad texted his son. He said, time up for Alabama coach. His son said, no, LMAO. He's the best coach in college football history. That's like saying times up for Bill Belichick. And the dad replied, I know, time up for Bill as well.

Oh, they're going out together. I like that. They came in together. I like that. Yeah. Do you think they have a suicide pack? That's we're both going to start losing at the same time. That's good.

I like that. This dad said, didn't I say that if we played against these guys, the way we put against Oklahoma, we'd lose. I should have called next evening and shared my wisdom. You drunk on a Monday night? Question mark. I should have called the coach up and told them what a game play against Clemson. This son, when Cody Parky double-doinked.

Oh, no. Why? I thought we were doing Alabama. He said, Cody Parky kicking for Bama tonight. And the dad replied, I'm in bed to stop texting me. Good point, dad. Good point, dad. There's nothing like the dad.

That's a very dad move to do. Like my dad will do that where if I call him, he'll be like, I'm in bed. I just fell asleep. What's up? It's like, why did you pick up the phone? What are you doing? It's after eight.

Who calls at this hour? I've been sleeping for the last two hours. What's up? This dad said, Saban way out coached, sad to watch. The son said, not sure where the defense is. They don't look like Alabama out there. The dad replied, awful. Worst game ever by Saban.

Saban horrible tonight. They need a new coach. Way out coached. They need a new coach. He's not worth the money. All in like a thread. Fuck, I love it. Yeah, let's go out and get somebody else.

All right, should we do guys on the sets? I had one that was sent to me that this guy said, my dad thinks Khalil Mack would average 300 yards per game if made the starting running back. But Negi only cares about the passing game. He says this every game. Yeah, I mean, it's probably true. I like it.

Probably true. That's the most dad take of all time right there. Yes, absolutely. All right, guys on checks. Hey boys, last time my fiance and I had sex after finishing and we started chatting and somehow I ended up on the topic of Big Cat. Just curious, how often do you think Big Cat comes up in the bedroom? By the way, what is a pog?

A pog, it's a milk cap. So back in the 90s. No, no, no, no, no. PAWG, I got called that today. I think it's something to do with thick. Can you look it up? I thought, I mean, I thought you and Bubba would know. But someone called me a pog.

PAWG or PAWG? I know what a pog is. I'm still thinking it's a milk cap. Sad ass white girl. Okay. With a P. Okay. Yeah.

All right. I'm a pog. What's up, guys? Ask AMA. I'm a pog. That actually doesn't sound like a bad thing to me. Well, it's because in case you looked at my ass, she objectified me.

Someone said Big Cat's a pog. And I got really nervous that I got called. Remember when I got called like an anime freak? That time? That was bad. Hey, PMT boys, especially you, Sad Cat. My boyfriend was watching the Bears Eagles game, and after watching the miss kick,

he destroyed the TV that I just bought for the apartment we recently moved into. Should I be worried this is a sign of a bad temper, or should I brush it off as a passionate sports fan? No, he sounds cool. Please help. He sounds very cool. I have a take.

I think everyone gets one TV in their life. To break? Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, I'm kind of serious that if you get, if you show that much passion about a team, then you probably have a lively personality. Yeah.

And yeah, right. You're an interesting person. Yeah. Right. And you just have one TV, use it wisely. You got one TV to break in your life. I haven't broken mine yet. I broke mine after the Seahawks Pittsburgh Super Bowl

because it was the biggest bed I've ever made my life. And the ref screwed me. The ref screwed me. The refs absolutely screwed me. You remember that? The ref screwed me so bad, we broke our TV, made my roommates. I broke in a toilet.

Is that the same thing? Yeah, I mean, I've broken a few toilets to just walk away. No, I'm not talking clogged. I'm talking. No, I know. Shattered. Yes, I have had toilets that like, wait, did you shatter it or did you sit and then it broke?

Oh, I sat and then like, as I sat, I leaned it back and it hit the wall and broke and there was a gallon. By the way, people don't realize, there's a lot of water in a toilet. A lot of water. A ton of water. A ton of water. Hey guys, last night the guy I've been dating for a few months

told me he's still hung up on his ex. They dated on and off for about six years and none of his family and friends like her. He then proceeded to shower me with compliments and asked if he could still date me. He keeps asking to see me on Wednesday to talk things out more. I don't get how you could like one person

but still be hung up on a toxic relationship. What should I do? Yeah, you're an option for this guy right now. So just know, you can still have fun. No. Just know that the second that he has the chance to go with this other girl, he's gone. Say no to Wednesday.

Say no to Wednesday. Yeah. Well, make it on your terms. You got to change the dynamic of power here. You need to make sure that you're deciding things. Here's what you do. You say no, sorry, I can't hang out on Wednesday if all you do is talk about this guy

but I can't hang out on Wednesday if you only talk about this chick twice. So set a limit. No, no, no. Say no, sorry, I can't hang out Wednesday. I'm too busy fucking my ex-boyfriend. He's got a huge dick. See how it feels for him.

All right, last one. My boyfriend recently got a cat even though he knows I hate them. The cat has WWE from the top rope dive bombed off our headboard. Onto my face at 4 a.m. leaving me with a scar. It starts howling for breakfast at five. Twice I've gotten to work before realizing I'm wearing something the cat peed on. He laughs off my hatred which makes me despise the hideous walking vermin even more.

Please tell me how I can convince some cats are a disease carrying rats of the underworld and should be shot into the sun. Which isn't so hot. Well, I mean, this should be easy because you're the alpha. The guy got a cat, right? You're dealing with a cat guy here. The cat guys are not alphas. Not an expert negotiator.

No. He basically got a cat because he's such a beta that he wants an animal that will dominate him. Okay, here's what you do. Get a mountain lion. You go harder into the cat? Yeah, that cat in the mountain lion will kill the cat. That's true.

Right? That's very true. Or a bobcat. You can get even a smaller cat. Yeah, a bobcat's good because- Like I thought we were cat people now. Then you can just throw the bobcat out right onto the street. Right.

You can't turn a mountain lion loose. Well, you can. You don't want to. Right. Not in today's society. That's a very important distinction. You can. You do not want to.

Yeah. I mean, if you get a cat as a male in the United States past the age of 10 years old, like because you want to- Put some more qualifiers on that. You're not- You just need to go live somewhere else. Like you shouldn't- You should not be allowed to date one of our American women.

Go to France. You're a spy. Go to France. You know, paint. I don't know. I don't know what cat guys do. Wait, is this Todd Gurley? Cat guys-

I would say most cat guys don't have TVs in their house. I think that's totally accurate. That's absolutely. Like they have a lot of books. Here's what you do actually. They just sit with a cat. Tell you what, just he- He's not a guy that can be reasoned with,

so you just need to stop using the toilet and make your own litter box in the room and then be like, how do you like it when another animal starts shitting everywhere? I don't understand what- Go clean up my pee in the sawdust. Would he just buy a cat? Like, I don't understand.

It'd be cool if he like got an alley cat. Was like, hey, I saved this cat. Listen, if you find a cat- It's cool. Yes, way cooler than going to a shelter. Yeah, like, oh, today's the day I'm going to go adopt my cat. Can you imagine purchasing a cat from somebody? No!

Imagine walking- That's what I'm saying. Imagine walking up to somebody and handing them American currency and be like, I want that cat. Give me that cat. And them handing you that cat. One cat, sir.

Yeah, get the fuck out of here. Oh, fuck. All right, we'll see you in private. Love you guys. Unless you're a cat. It's part of my tape presented by Barstool Sports.