Pardon My Take - Samuel L Jackson, SCF, And The Warriors Are On The Ropes

Episode Date: June 10, 2019

Stanley Cup Final game 7 is on. The Blues lose after the St Louis Dispatch had them winning and Jon Hamm shaved his beard (2:29 - 6:40). NBA Finals Game 4, is this the end of the dynasty, and will Kevin Durant save the Warriors (6:49 - 17:27). Who's back of the week (17:27 - 28:38). Samuel L Jackson joins the show to talk about the new Shaft out June 14th, his career, his awesome twitter game, why he's the world's greatest swearer, and watching his own movies (28:38 - 51:20). Segments Stay Classy Max Muncy, Tale of the Tape Justin Bieber vs Tom Cruise, Talking Tennis, Thoughts and Prayers Big Papi, and Monday Reading - Dodgeball is oppressive. You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, we have The Man, The Myth, The Legend, Samuel L. Jackson, The Greatest Cursor in the World, 150-plus movies, a bona fide A-lister. I'm excited. The highest-grossing actor of all time. I'm excited.

You should be excited. It's awesome. We also have Stanley Cup Final Game 6, NBA Finals are the Warriors' done or finished, who's back of the week, and a Monday reading. Before we get to all of that, pardon my take, it's brought to you by the Cash App, the number one finance app in the App Store. Cash App is the most powerful way to send, spend, and save. It's connected to the free cash card.

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Do it for the animals and be a lover. Download the Cash App today, enter code BARSTULE, and get some money and save some animals. Okay, let's go. Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Put in that code BARSTULE, you get $5 on the Cash App and $5 to the ASPCA. Today is Monday, June 10th, and according to the St. Louis Dispatch, congratulations to our champions, the St. Louis Blues. Yeah, way to go guys.

Wow, way to go. We knew you could do it. Do you defeat Truman? Here was the note from the St. Louis Blues, winning the Stanley Cup was a dream come true for so many of you. All of us will remember where we were, what we did, and how we felt when the Blues brought the cup home. That's tough.

Each of us will have a library of memories to pass down for generations. Each of us will forever think of the person in our lives for whom this time meant so much. Yikes. That's tough. That's like when you write an obituary for the news that you have to have on file, like ready to go, just in case somebody dies. I'm pretty sure someone somewhere has written an obituary for one of us in this room. Like when Florio killed Terry Bradshaw.

Exactly. You're ready for, or when Drew Brees got both of his legs broken and on to be a last player. Right, exactly. Yeah, it's one of those things that I don't really blame the St. Louis Dispatch because they do have to be prepared, but to get that leaked is the big issue here. So what happened, I think what happened was they were trying to sell ads, right? So they sent it out to advertisers being like, this is what the paper will look like if you

win. Your ad could run next to it and then somebody took a picture of that email and sent it out. Stay woke. They need to start doing that. They need to do fake ones whenever a team gets close to winning a championship and sell ads for that. Double dip. What about now?

Because if there was an ad on this, people would be like, whoa, this is presented by like, you know, the mattress guy down the road. That's pretty sick. That got more impressions than the real story would have gotten. Right. Exactly. At least online. So anyone out there, if you want a double dip, but we have game seven of the Stanley

Cup final on Wednesday night, Hank, you're going to be there? Possibly. Depend. Maybe. Take it to your birthday. Now it is my birthday. I'm thinking about going, but I don't know. You should take some feet picks and put it on the internet and get some money up for

that. I will. If anyone wants to buy my feet pictures. I will. Okay. Let's do it. Everyone's got great feet, by the way. Get your cash up.

Yeah. Get, shout out your cash app. And just one of those things you guys, you guys, I don't know if you guys can relate to this, but it's like game seven ad home Bruins once in a lifetime thing, but I'm not like a diehard Bruins fan, but it's one of those, but it's your birthday and it's a party type. Yeah. It is like, but it's a party worth that much money when they have feet.

Yeah. When they have all the planets aligned, it's called a sygegy sygegy, S Y Z Y G Y. I think this is the, the Hank Lockwood sports sygegy that's happening. I think that you should definitely go tell you what, you can wear some inflatable shoulder pads with bare feet, maybe we drum up some money for it. Well, he doesn't. Yeah. Yeah.

Anyone who wants to see, oh, okay. How much money would the AWLs put up for Hank to shave his beard? Oh, no. Oh, oh, oh, oh, I would throw in, uh, I throw 50. I do 200 bucks. Okay. I'll still throw 50. I'll sweeten the pot.

I'll let you throw 200 in. How much would it take? Hey, I don't know. You don't come on. What if we got you on the glass, but then no, that's problem because you'd be on the glass with no beard and never be like, we're a fake beard. Yeah. Oh, that would be great.

Actually, no. Speaking of which, we should, we should touch on this. John Hamm shaving his playoff beard before he really, yes, he was clean shaving a game six night. I couldn't do that because that would be the same exact insane. I don't care if you're superstitious, whatever you like, if you're a sports fan and you're a team, you know, a fan of your hockey team and they're in fucking game six of the Stanley Cup final and you have a beard, you cannot shave it.

Listen, John Hamm, I don't care how big your dick is, you need to keep that beard going St. Nick's style until the end of the playoffs. Was this for a role? Even if it was for a role, it's gotta be like, Hey, guess what, guys, you know, we're one game away. It doesn't matter. Unreal. Unreal moves.

Post production on that. The curse of John Hamm's hammer. There it is. You ever seen his dick? Yeah, I have. In the sweatpants picture? Yeah. It's pretty good.

You got anything else? It's pretty good. I'm just saying. Oh, OK. Yeah. It's pretty big. Top mushroom stamp. Yep.

Yep. That's all I have to say about John Hamm's dick at this time. All right. Let's talk about the other finals that are going on. The Golden State Warriors are on the ropes. The Toronto Raptors, I actually wrote down a bunch of thoughts here, but the Toronto Raptors are really fucking good. Really fucking good.

Kauai Leonard is insane. He had his 14th, 14th 30 point game in these playoffs. So now he's in company with Jerry Weiss. Can I guess? No. OK, go ahead. You're not going to get it. Michael Jordan.

Jerry Weiss. Jerry Weiss. No. Wait, what is he averaging? He has 14 30 point games. Oh, I heard in these playoffs, there's only three guys with more 30 point games in a single playoffs. I heard it.

I heard a different stat from that. So very similar. So he's in company with MJ, who has who had 16 30 point games in a singular playoffs, Hakeem, who had 16 as well, and Kobe, who had 15. So that is insane, where if I dare, he'll probably get 15 on Monday night. He also has eight of those 30 point games on the road, an absolute killer and their defense is unreal and they got the Warriors on the ropes. But now we get what we were hoping for whispers KD watch KD practiced the one thing we were

looking forward to was chaos. The Warriors are down three one. I don't know if you ever heard this, but it's kind of an internet joke. The Warriors and three one leads. This could actually be a great way to defeat a meme in real time. So the only way that we've seen a meme die in the past has been like going out with a whimper, not a bang, like the crying MJ thing just kind of faded away after a couple years. This could be like a supernova explosion.

The meme is done. They take it down themselves. They took it down themselves. Yes. That'd be poetic. KD and the chaos that's coming along with him practicing. Jill and Rose actually said that the practice didn't go well. I don't know.

Wait, wait, wait. What was this though today? This was today's report because I saw that yesterday. Okay. Because he, no, because there was there was conflicting reports. There was on Saturday, there was the report that everyone's upset at KD and that he's not good. It's like not responding.

But then today he was clear to practice and I think practice. Okay. So I think, I think everything went okay today. So I heard that the actual practice wasn't good. Okay. We need someone to stat check. Yeah. Check out what KD's plus minus was in an unopposed practice today.

But to add to that KD can't help but throw a little bit of fuel on the fire and he went on Instagram as he is want to do from his main account, from his actual account this time and he followed the following people. You ready? Javail McGee, LeBron James, Kyle Kuzma, Lamar Odom, Todd Gurley, Aaron Donald. Where did you see this? This is a fake news season with the with the Kauai Apple story that went viral. No, no, no.

It was very funny. It was on today. He's probably just doing it to fuck with people. Yes. And he followed the ball brothers. I think he'll play on Monday night. I really do. And it will be chaos and it's perfect because this is like they're the worst entire season

in a microcosm because it was member of the Dremon fight with KD when he's like, we don't need you. We won without you. So why don't you leave? Tell them a bitch, which is so wildly inappropriate to do. But now we're back to that spot where it's like, you do need him. He probably is still going to leave and the whole team is just waiting to see if he'll come and play in these finals.

I also the interesting thing with these finals to me is that like when a dynasty ends, it's kind of what's going on with the Warriors where you just don't expect it. You always are just sitting there like, Hey, where are the Warriors? Why haven't they shown up yet? The heat lost to the Spurs in 2014. They lost four to one when a lot of people have been making this analogy, but it does feel similar to the Lakers pistons in 2004. Lakers win game two.

You're like, okay, these are the Lakers. They're fine. Pistons win for one. By the way, I went back and I looked the scores of that series are so funny, 87, 75. One of the games, 88, 68, the highest scoring game was 99, 91 in overtime. It's pretty much completely different basketball. My point is you go back like the 91 when the bulls beat the pistons for nothing in the Eastern Conference Finals.

When they beat the bulls, beat the Lakers for one in the finals, when the pistons beat the Celtics for two in like the 88 Eastern Conference Finals, whenever a dynasty ends, you just sit there being like, Oh, they're going to turn it on. It's going to happen. Yeah. And it just doesn't. So it feels like that, like as much as we all are inclined to be like the Warriors can flip a switch and everything will be fine and they'll go nuclear warriors on everyone.

History shows that it's probably more likely the Raptors will finish them off on Monday. What's crazy is that I didn't really see this coming. It's mostly about Katie. But that's what happens. Mostly about Katie. But that's what happens. But Katie, if this Warriors team was still healthy, it would not be like, Oh my God, the dynasty's over.

They would be much more competitive winning probably most of these games because like you saw how it went down with the Rockets. The Rockets were a very good team in the playoffs. Of course. They were very good at their business against them. I did get caught up in that though a little bit personally. So there is some truth to it because after game one, I put a large bet. You were happy with yourself on the Warriors.

I was like, this is easy money. Remember what I said to you at the time? Because the Warriors are going to go nuclear and they're going to flip the switch. The switch is across the room right now and they don't have super long wingspan of Katie to reach out and press the switch button. Remember what I told you at the time? So just bet the Warriors game too. Yeah.

You did tell me that. I did. But I mean, plus money. Nobody likes the guy that's like, I know, I know. But we were sitting at the time. It was before. I know. I'm not doing it after.

But I am 100% that guy that was like, we all are. To this day, I'm like, I think that they might go to Toronto and I think they might beat them by 40. And if they win on Monday night, then the series is back on, especially if Katie plays. But this is, my bigger point was more that like, we, I remember watching that Pistons Lakers series and being like, well, that's the Pistons. They don't have Kobe. They don't have Shaq.

The Lakers will turn it on and win this series. And you sit there on Friday night. I was like, well, like the first half, the Warriors were awesome and you're like, yeah, this is the Warriors. They're back. This is this series is over. And that's how dynasties end. You just sit there being like, wait, where are the guys that we saw all these years?

And you're right. Katie obviously changes everything, but I'm just like, at this point, the Raptors are so fucking good. They played so well that like our dumb brains, our caveman brains on Monday night are like, the Warriors will kill them. I'm also very. Great history. You're like, the Raptors probably win.

I'm very excited to see how Katie's injury plays out in the off season because I'm definitely an Achilles Cav true for true through now at this point because I think that if, if the injury was as minimal as they made it seem at first, he would have at least tried to play by now. Yeah. Well, and the fact that Clay Thompson, you know, played through whatever he plays like a fucking warrior, like he is a warrior, but he is a warrior. Like he gets.

Remember when he was bleeding through his ear? Yeah, I do remember. He was like, whatever. We had, we had some good blood too. Oh, yeah. Fred Van Vleet. Yeah. Took one off the, off the chin.

Got smoked. That's the cheekbone. Hey, we got, we got part of my Jake PMT stats sports business reporter with a breaking moves. What is this? So that, yes. So that is, yes, that's Saturday. So when her, when horse said Durant just isn't ready, his body isn't ready. The trainers don't believe it.

He doesn't believe it. But then he practiced on Sunday. Yeah. But then after that, Jalen Rose reported the practice. I saw Jalen Rose's report on Saturday. So maybe, maybe you're right, but I think, I think he practiced and everything went well. Like I think he's going to play on Monday night and I want him to play and somehow bring

the Warriors back just to watch everyone like everyone's collective brain will just melt on the internet. And that's what we wanted before the entire series was chaos. All right. That breaking moves is brought to you by chocolate milk. It was a very colloquial job last weekend. We're very proud of you for that. So we're going to have to colloquial things up a bit.

You know, chocolate milk is the ideal recovery drink. So instead, tell us a story about how great chocolate milk tastes and your words that you have to use are scrumptious and amorphous. Amorphous? Mm-hmm. Okay. Well, maybe my favorite Samuel L. Jackson character. That's a good idea.

Or it could be something like, you know, I was, I was a dog and then I amorphoused into a human being. Yeah. And afterwards, after doing such a hard job doing that, I had a scrumptious chocolate milk. Woo. I like that. It's a very nice debate.

Although the better cover for books as a young adult, anamorphs or goose bumps. I like goose bumps. I love goose bumps. You could touch them and they felt kind of cool. Wait. It was like ASMR for your fingers. Did you drink the chocolate milk as a dog still or no? You became a human, right?

Yeah. No, I anamorphed. You had dog blood. That'd be bad. Don't feed your dog chocolate milk. Why not? Feed everyone else chocolate milk because bad dogs can't have chocolate. I didn't know that.

Yeah. You knew that. I don't have a dog. So how would I know that? Okay. It hangs more of a cat guy. I mean, okay. Okay.

But yeah. It is rule one of the world. It is. Like literally rule one of the world. Don't give that dog chocolate. Yeah. Chocolate or grapes. Yeah.

Or raw onions. Yeah. Or garlic. Yes. Or avocado. Yeah. Or peanut butter on your balls. Millennial dogs are so pissed off.

Yeah. All right. So we cleared it up. So Jaylen Rose's report was Friday. Yeah. So learn more about that at BuiltWithChocolateMilk.com and clear up the colloquialism hinges. So the PMT Sports Biz showed us that the report was that Kevin Durant left the facility after practice, so practiced without a noticeable limp.

So it looks like he's going to play. Jaylen Rose's report was Friday night when he was saying that there's no way he's coming back this year. It was funny because everyone started piling on. It was like, what's going on? Everyone's mad about Kevin Durant. And now a little bit of public peer pressure has a former triple B ready to play. Ready to put the whole team on his baby back.

Yeah. You know, there would be something very cool about Toronto winning in Toronto with the whole Jurassic Park thing that they have going insane. They can do a game seven. We need more sports. Yeah. That's true. You know what this time of year is like?

You ever see a movie? Probably this happens in Die Hard or something, but where some guy is hanging on a ledge with both his hands. Yes. And then like his fingers start to slip and then one hand comes off and he reaches back up and grabs it. Clip hanger. Yeah.

And that's what this time of year is like for me. Yes. I've got my two hands of hockey and basketball. And tonight. One hand was starting to slip because it was like, oh, shit. This could be the end. The cup's in the building. Then I reached up and I grabbed with that hand.

Same thing is going to happen tomorrow night with the other hand. Yes. And then I'm just going to be free falling into the training camp. This is going to be, yeah. Mount Rushmore season. I actually have that as my who's back, but I'm going to. I have a list I made for the weekend. We're going to do who's back.

Hank, why don't you start before we do that? If you want to watch Samuel L. Jackson, pardon my take, barstowgold.com slash PMT. His 151st movie. Barstowgold.com slash PMT. Hank, why don't you start? Who's back? Sure, big cat. My who's back of the week is actually something to do with you.

Oh, thanks. It is bad visual for you. Oh, yeah. Thanks. Yeah. Okay. Great. There was a picture tonight during one of the electric chairs.

You're on your side. I told people to delete it. Wait. Let me look at this. Yeah. Where can I find it? You can find it. I quoted it and said, please delete it.

Okay. So, yeah. Let me take a look. Now, that visual prompted you to tweet out that you're in home run derby shape. I am. The picture. It's not great. I'm in home run derby shape.

And then Christian Yellich responded to it and said he hopes so. Oh, I didn't see that. You really, it's been a tough, it's been a tough night for yourself. I didn't see the Christian Yellich response. Yeah. He just responded. I mean, Hank, where would you say, you are like the, you're like the, like Dick's picks for Grateful Dead.

You're the historian of bad pictures of me. So where would you say this ranks? I mean, I don't want to, I'm not, I'm not even joking. I don't want to be too mean, but like this one's pretty bad. It's bad. It came out of nowhere. It was also like the seat was too low. Usually like in my head, I'm like, oh, big guy has been put on a little weight and then

the visual comes out. It's like, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. I haven't thought that recently. It was bad. It was bad. It was bad. You look like a vaguely Soviet bus driver from like 1993, reaching for his bottle of

smirnoff that he keeps next to the whip. But guess what? I've had it many times and they roll off my fat back. And what are you going to do? I was like a, a Russian guy that used to be a wrestler 40 years ago. That works. So I'm athletic. Yeah, that works.

Yeah. I mean, listen, there's a long history of bad pictures that I've taken. It's not great. Put it up there. I'll say it. Big cat does not look like that in person. Oh, thanks. Your tits are much more supple in person.

I can hate, I listen, when the bad pictures get taken, I love it because it's like a reset the clock. That was a bad picture. It's also nice when a bad picture gets taken because then when somebody sees you in public, you're like, Oh, you don't look as slovenly as I thought. Yeah, correct. Correct. My only who's back the week is La Crosse.

Yeah, I watched this weekend. It was actually pretty entertaining. I did too. Paul Paul had me convinced the Atlas lost again. The Redwoods lost, I think. We're back to whip snakes. We did. They might have won.

I don't know. I have a fucking heartburn right now that has nothing to do with the fat picture. All right. I'm going to do my who's back because it segues to from La Crosse. So we were just talking about it, but the amount of sports that are on that are sports I don't care about is an insane amount right now. And I just this my who's back is I need football back because I wrote down everything that I watched this weekend.

I watched at least some part of all of these things. So baseball, women's World Cup, hockey, basketball, those are, you know, normal. OK, then it starts to kind of fall off a cliff. I watched some WNBA. I watched some La Crosse. I watched some tennis. I watched some beach volleyball because it was on after La Crosse. I watched college baseball.

I watched motor motorcycle racing. Did you watch drag racing? That was on too. Drag racing is always on. I watched some bowling. I watched the UEFA friendly. I watched a under 20 soccer match that we lost. The US sucks.

And then I watched a Lance Armstrong interview. We also watched a little cycling. We also had a US men's national team friendly. That is what I'm saying. So we got our ass kicked into under 20 World Cup. The future is not here. Not here for the men. Yeah.

So I watched a lot of fucking sports that I don't give a fuck about. And it's I just sat there being like, man, I wish the football was back. Well, because you know what happens when you get into this off season area, you start to watch things on channels that you normally don't go to. Correct. Like the women's World Cup. So that was on FS one, I believe. Yep. And then you take the nap, the customary second half nap in a sport that you normally don't watch.

And when you wake up, there's an even more obscure sport that is taking its place. Correct. After that sport is over. Beach volleyball. Lance Armstrong. And then you have to find out how to bet on all these sports. Lance Armstrong doing an interview where he couldn't fully commit to saying the kids shouldn't do steroids. Yeah, there was a UFC fight, too.

Did you watch? Yeah, oh, yeah, I watched the guys. I got turned into a flashlight. Yeah, a little snot rocket. Yeah. So I don't know. It's just I just basically cruise around the channels. I have cable. No big deal. And I couldn't find a good movie to watch. So then I just hopped around all this.

You just do it out of instinct. The sports channels you go. You start at the bottom sports channel and you cruise through all of them. And you stop off at a couple and I watch fucking like I was watching motorcycle racing and then I was watching. Yeah, I was watching motorcycle racing. Me and Skip Bayless were the only people that watched that game. It's sad, man.

I they do need to figure out a way like I would have kept on watching motorcycle racing if they just if your TV could have like a thing that pops up like, hey, do you want to you want to bet on this? Boom, you can bet on it right now. I would have bet on the volleyball. You know what we need to do? We need to start watching because you can find old NFL games on YouTube. Yeah, from like 2006, 2007, some of the HD ones.

So we should just have like Hank or Bubba or maybe we had before. Yeah, this exact moment. No, I thought about this. This was Super Bowl week because I was having Sunday scariest for the NFL season being over. But we should actually do it. We'll have Jake go through, just pick one game at random, like Chiefs Browns week 12, 2007.

And then without us knowing about the teams at all, we'll bet on them. Yeah, we'll bet against each other and then we'll watch the game as if we're watching it for the first time. I actually know that you're saying that I watched an outback bull Penn State versus LSU with Joe Paa versus Les Miles. I don't know what year it was from and fucking LSU was like raining like hell. And LSU had an awesome goal line stand in the second quarter.

So I don't know how it ended. That's awesome. Yeah. So that's what I'm saying. There's a way to bet on all that old shit that we don't remember. Yeah, it's new to us. Yeah, exactly. Oh, and George, your spring game, which I think was a replay. So I assume they've played their spring game a couple of months ago.

It was a bad. It was a long weekend of just watching anything that was on TV. Once you get into a repeat of a spring scrimmage, you're in a bad place. Yeah, well, they did have a nice fucking little flea flicker. So that was cool. Yeah. Does your team or does your TV have the screen time feature on it that a phone has? No, no, what happens is the thing pops up says you haven't you haven't

changed your channel in a really long time. Yeah. What are you doing? I want to well, I wanted to watch the rest of this Georgia spring game, dude. Yeah, I want to get rid of that feature on my TV because it's like, fuck, yeah, I'm partying. Yeah. Don't ask me if I want to turn the channel. Sorry, I haven't changed the channel for eight hours. So all right.

What do you got, PFT? I've got a couple of whom's backs of the week. The first was Big Little Lies is back. Yeah, what is that show? Big Little Lies is a show. It's entourage for like rich women who are so rich that they sound British when they talk. Cool. That's the best way I can describe it.

So it's like Nicole Kidman. What station is this on? What station? Yeah. It's on Station HBO. OK. Yeah. No, it's it's it's pretty good. And it's like I've only watched two episodes, but I did watch the recap of the first two seasons twice.

So it's like my little guilty pleasure that I've just started to. Again, these are things that I go through in the off season when there's nothing else to get me through Sundays. So I decided that I was going to get into Big Little Lies. OK. So that's number one. Number two is Joe Flacco. Yeah, Joe Flacco's back. So John Elway said it looks to me

like he's back in Super Bowl MVP form. So that means he's six foot five, two hundred and thirty five pounds. And he threw the ball across his body. No way yards. No way. Joe Flacco's practices are becoming like Patrick Mahomes's updates for people out there. They're just every week. It's like Joe Flacco threw another ball 80 yards in the thin air.

Does John only realize that Joe Flacco like statistically in the last five years is the worst starting quarterback you have. Absolutely not. Was that a serious question about John Elway? Definitely not. I want. Wait, who do they draft? Oh, they draft the Drulac. Yeah, Drulac. Double finger guns. Yeah, I was going to say Matty Mock, real throwback.

All right. Is that it? I've got one more. Go for it. So my last whom's back of the week is Lace Shorts. Oh, yes. So Lace Shorts are back in a big way. This is gross. Fellas. Shorts in general. Fellas, yeah, Shorts are back big time, but now Lace Shorts are even backer. Actually, they're backless

because they're just totally see through on the back end and they have like a little cover up in the front. Finally, lingerie for guys that want to play some basketball at the same time. It's pretty gross and PFT tune in to a podcast coming. It basically goes like this. PFT says, yo, look at this. And it's some like disgusting piece of clothing.

And then he goes, can I get the credit card real quick? Yep. And that's and that's how it gets made. That's how it works. That's how it gets. Listen, a I'm telling you, it's going to be a game changer. It's like the new it's the newer everyone. Yeah, for everyone. For mostly the people who want to see you.

But here's why, man, because like I don't have a problem with people being disgusted by my lingerie that I'm wearing. My my dude lingerie. We need to come up with a name for that. Mingerie, because if somebody is disgusted seeing me wear it, that's not the kind of person I would want to hang out with anyways. I guess that's a good litmus test. You're just walking around like, do you want to see me naked?

Yeah, you don't want to see me in my Lace Shorts. OK, get out of here. Yeah, if you're that shallow of a person that you don't want to see my gross body right in your face, right, then I guess I don't want my gross body to be seen by your stupid face. Right. Why don't you get to know PFT's brain? Why don't you get to know his personality?

My eyes. Not all about the fact that he's wearing the most ridiculous shorts ever for attention. That's right. My eyes are up here. All right, let's get to our interview. Samuel L. Jackson. Before we do that, Duncan go tos are back with Duncan go tos. You can get a great deal with on two of your favorites, two egg and cheese wraps for $2, two bagels with cream cheese

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Three, two, one. I'm looking at the bar right now. Okay, that voice you hear right now, it is the legend, Samuel L. Jackson. We're here. He's got his new movie out, Shaft, June 14th. Go watch it. I want to start with Shaft

and the coolest characters you've ever played. Is he up there, like top three, coolest, baddest motherfuckers you've ever played? I would say so, yeah. I mean, it's an honor to be able to portray a figure that's so iconic, that meant so much. I guess when I was younger, seeing Richard Roundtree as Shaft

was something that you aspired to. I want to be that cool. I want to have that many chicks. I want to have that many leather coats. Right. So if it's not Shaft, who are like the top three coolest characters you played? Jules, Nick, Fury, Shaft.

What about Morpheus? You're great as Morpheus. I've seen Morpheus. I loved you as Morpheus. That was a viral clip you had. That was a test. I mean, yeah. How often does that happen?

Depends on whether people are trying to be funny or whether they're trying to piss me off. I think it's a little bit of a joke. I don't know who he is so far. It's a little bit of both. I don't know who he really is there. Actually, Big Cap brings up a good point. So cool and bad.

Is there a difference between being cool and bad? Cool and bad ass? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, very much so. So Shaft's a bad motherfucker, right? Shaft is a bad motherfucker. Hush your mouth.

Yeah, Shaft is a bad motherfucker. Nick Fury's a bad motherfucker. Yeah. Yeah, it's very different. Jules is... Jules is cool. He has bad motherfucker on his wallet, but he's essentially very cool.

He's lethal and dangerous as all hell. You know, kind of like Ordeal is a bad motherfucker. He's not cool, because he kinda corny and he dresses kinda wack and his hair ain't all the way there. Are you describing me right now? But he will fuck you up. A nice guy to hang out with, but don't cross him.

Gotcha. I'm curious, you always, I love how you talk about characters you played as like almost friends and like they're still alive. Cause I was, you know, you've been in 150 plus movies, you played every single character, but you talk about them like they like exist forever.

And I feel like I've never seen an actor kinda do that. But it's like, no, I was reading about your favorite characters or your favorite characters you played and you were like talking like Jango and Shane, you're like, yeah, yes, Steph is my dude. He's my dude, Steven is my dude. That's what I do.

It's like, I've never heard an actor talk like that about a character that he played and you played so many. Well, to give you stuff, it's interesting or really freeing to have a guy like Steven or to play a guy like Steven because he's unapologetically evil. He is who he is and he lives in that space and he inhabits it like it's real.

It's genuine for him. Jules is who he is. Ordele lives in his space. He creates it, he inhabits that environment and he relishes where he is in that space. Most characters that I have, I don't have a lot of characters that are insecure or that don't feel good about being who they are.

Do you ever dream in your characters? Do you ever dreams as one of your characters? I don't believe so. Okay. I'm not saying that's not true because I've done some stuff in my dreams. Maybe when I'm asleep at work or in the trailer sometimes,

I'm dreaming as that character because I've done things and I wake up and I have a revelation about something I wanna do. So yeah, yeah. Your brain's working overtime. Yeah, like you're on Jurassic Park. Do you dream about dinosaurs? Actually, I was dreaming more about cigarettes

because I was actually a smoker then and Steven made me smoke these herbal things that were horrible and he was a chain smoker. And I said, well, I'd rather chain smoke real cigarettes. He's like, no, I don't wanna kill you. So what's in the herbal cigarettes? I don't know, it's nasty.

They're like cloves. They look like cloves. Cigarettes, that's the smoke though sometimes. But no, these weren't cloves. It was some kind of nasty herbal something. Yeah. What was the pitch like for Snakes on a Plane? How does that happen?

Nobody pitched me. Actually, I read, there's a director, Ronnie Yu. I had just done a film with him called Formula 51 in Scotland and in Liverpool. And I read where he was doing a movie called Snakes on a Plane. So I called him and said, Ronnie, you doing a movie called Snakes on a Plane?

And he's like, yeah. I was like, what is it? He said, a plain full of poisonous snakes. He's like, seriously? And he's like, yeah. I was like, well, can I be in it? And he's like, you wanna be in it? And I'm like, yeah.

He's like, great. So he called Newland, Newland was like, oh yeah, hell yeah. And then next thing I know, Ronnie got fired. And then we were like, well, you know, Ronnie's not doing the movie now. We hoped you were gonna stay. I'm like, hell yeah, I'm doing the movie, yeah. Fuck yeah, I'm gonna do it.

Snakes on a Plane. So you took the role in the same exact manner that everyone went and watched the movie. Cause I remember I was like, what's this movie? Snakes on a Plane? Yeah. Fucking in. Yeah, exactly.

I want to watch it. Come on, I want to see it. Snakes on a Plane. Yeah, that's pretty straightforward. It's a pretty kind of movie I would've gone to see when I was a kid. I was like, playing full of snakes. Snakes on a Plane.

Yeah, I'm in here, yeah, I'm in here. I had a theory that you did that movie because you wanted people to stop quoting all your pulp fiction lines. So you're like, I'll just do an even more quotable, you know, Snakes on a Plane movie. No, I did it because of those Snakes on a Plane. And even when I got there, you know,

the first day I arrived, I got there and they were like passing out, you know, new pages and they gave me the script and said Pacific Flight 121. I'm like, what the fuck is this? And they're like, well, you know, we don't want to give it away. I'm like, you exactly want to do that. That's why I'm here. I'm not here to do Pacific Flight 121.

And if that's the name of the movie, I quit. You know what I mean? Like, oh, Snakes on a Plane. It's Snakes on a Plane. How many of the snakes were real? How many? Yeah, were they all real? No, they had some fake shit, but I guess when we got there,

they had like a dry cleaner bag that had corn snakes in it. Maybe it was like 150 of them. By the time we wrapped, there were like 600. They were in there fucking. They were doing it. They were fucking, yeah. They were doing it.

And then they had some regular, like, poisonous snakes and bigger snakes and some other things, but they had vats and vats of corn snakes that they just dumped on the plane every day. Do you have everything we're going to Snakes on a Plane 2? No. At any point when you get on set, where you're like, you know, this was an awesome idea

because it's called Snakes on a Plane and I'm all in on that. But now that I'm seeing all these snakes on this motherfucking plane, it's kind of creepy. No. You were cool with them? I got cool with the snakes. I was very cool with the snakes.

No fear at all. My agent didn't want me hanging around them. She was like, no snakes, I'm a Sam. You know what I'm saying? No, we got to have snakes. You got to have snakes. But second unit was shooting with all the dangerous shit. It's like they had like a 15 foot Albino Cobra.

Oh, Jesus Christ. Gangster. Fuck that. That thing would like hit the seat in front of it and just shake the seat like that. It's like, fuck, look at that. It's like, look at this. Keep him on second unit.

Do you go see every movie that you're in in theaters? I do. Now, do you like to go to a crowded theater or do you like to go to a quiet place? I like to go to a theater and hopefully there's people in it. Yeah. I can't guarantee that there's going to be crowded theater. Every movie you make is not a big movie.

So yeah, I just go to a theater where people are paying that money to see how they respond to it. Has anybody ever turned around and been like, holy shit, like you're on screen and I'm sitting next to you right now? Yeah. That must be surreal. Yeah. That would be very weird for me.

Why? Because I'm dumb and so I can't believe that two people exist in two places at the same time. I'm like, I'm like a dog. If I'm looking at a screen, I'm like, that's that person. But wait, he's right here next to me. Right. Yeah, no, I don't know.

I mean, it's whatever it is. And I was just in Italy when Endgame came out. So I wanted to see it. So that was only one English speaking screening of it that day. So we called theater and we were like, oh yeah, sure, come in. And I got there and there were people there. And it's like the movie didn't start for like 30 minutes.

And I was sitting in my seat eating popcorn. So literally, people were like lined up in the aisle because I allowed them to sit in the seat in front of me and take a picture. Take a picture? That's official. Because I wasn't going to be like, yeah, we're going to move. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

OK, you sit in the seat in front of me. So people literally lined up in the aisle and sat down with the cameras where I was sitting behind me popcorn, not smiling. So so when you watch your own movie, because most people, they don't like the sound of their own voice. They don't like to watch themselves on on a movie screen. Do you watch it?

And you're like, damn, that's a bad ass motherfucker right there. Like talking about yourself. I watch it and say, OK, that was the good take. OK, you know, I look at it. The first time I see it, I'm kind of watching it critically to see which tape did they use? Which angle did they use for this particular shot? Because sometimes, you know, you shoot, you shoot and you shoot

and you say to people, that's just never even going to be in the movie. Right. And most times, you know, I'm right. It's not. Right. And I go, I knew we wasted too much time with this shit because they used the first thing that we did. Right. So has there been times when you're like, they completely edited it wrong? Not maybe not names, but you're like, this was this was not the character. Yeah, I go, this is stupid. No, I know it's never not the character.

But it's never the angle that works for that particular shot or that works for the story to move the story to the next place on the dynamic. Right. Right. Interesting. Where do you stand on sneaking food into movie theaters? Sneaking food like what? Like, you know, they charge eight dollars for a big bag of popcorn. Like, what about bringing in like a sandwich or like big beans? Yeah, big Tupperware full of beans.

That's what you want to eat. Fine. I don't care. Yeah. But you don't eat popcorn and you bake beans in the movie. Yeah, popcorn. Beans are good. Oh, I'm a popcorn, you know, white cherished luscious guy. We're about candy. You ever bring candy in the movies? Because that's that's expensive to sell them candy in the movie. Yeah, that's how they get you.

I like candy, but I don't eat it in the movie. OK, no, no sour patch kids. I kind of like that. Yeah, you know, you reached that point where your mouth is hurting because you're eating that shit too many. Yeah. Yeah, I haven't seen me all the time. I would rather have a payday and just, you know, be fine. Yeah, that's right. I was looking.

I was doing some research at your numbers. It says online that you are the highest grossing actor of all time. Is that true? Could be six point seven billion dollars in box office. I mean, that's an erroneous kind of number or or a dubious honor because everybody who's in that movie, whose name is on the cast list that was in that movie can make that same claim.

Yeah, huh? But they just weren't in all the same movies I was in. Right. You're in that movie. Then they just say, OK, you're in the movie, so you're part of the box office. You're the common you don't have to be above the title, below the title. Just that you're in the movie. So there's a lot of people that have done a whole bunch of movies as extras or as, you know, secondary, tertiary characters

that have a great box office, too, just because their names on the cast list. Right. So it's an interesting thing to say about somebody, but not necessarily true because I remember when it happened, I was doing Star Wars and George said, you're going to pass Harrison when this movie comes out. And I was like, passing at what? And he's like, you know, box office totals. Really? That's there's a thing for that.

And he's like, yeah. And when this movie comes out, you're going to pass him because you're only so and so dollars from him. Oh, well, I'm going to pass him before that. And he's like, how? So I got a little movie coming out called The Incredibles. He's come out before this. Oh, boy. And he's like, oh, I was hoping you were going to cross it with me.

I was like, what would have been nice? But yeah, this movie's opening. So Incredibles opened and I kicked his ass and then Star Wars happened. And I got my lap them even more. Are you the best cursor alive? Have no idea. I think you might be. I'm sure there's like maybe a football coach is up there. But like you when you when you curse, it's an art form.

Like it's it you feel it when even when you've done it very organically in this interview. It's I don't know what it is, but it's something about it. Like a Samuel L. Jackson curse just hits different. Well, it's not. I mean, I do curse at people in anger from time to time. But most of the times it's, you know, it's an interesting descriptive

or it's a way to make something a little more colorful or whatever. And it sounds and feels better when it comes out. Yeah, what's your favorite curse word? My favorite curse word is probably motherfucker. Yeah, yeah, because I use it for a lot of different things. Yes, it hit different. What different ways are you talking about? Like you can use you can mother fuck somebody if you can say that

or you can describe a person as you know the motherfucker I'm talking about or or that motherfucker, you know, you know, immediately, OK, one was a friendly guy and one was a not so friendly guy. Or you're saying, oh, man, that's just a motherfucker. You know, oh, it's some really great shit. Or you can say, oh, that's just a motherfucker. And it means it's horrible or whatever. Or, you know, or man, that car is a motherfucker.

Or and and you know, it's like, oh, great car. Or that motherfucking car is like the car is raggedy as fuck. You know, you know that. So it's easy to use it as a descriptive or whatever. Or you talk about the girl like, oh, man, that motherfucking is everything. You know, he really loves it. Yeah. Yeah. So it's that. You just prove that word that you can use, yeah, yeah, in every kind of way.

OK, by the way, we can't swear on this podcast. Oh, no problem. We'll bleep those. Oh, well, that's the most like shit. I'm just kidding. We actually were hoping because what happens is a lot of our guests, like halfway through the interview, will drop a swear and they're like, can you swear on this? And we're like, fuck, yeah, you can.

And we'll just let them all fly. We were hoping that would happen here. But I remember when I joined Twitter right out of the bed, out of the gate. It's like when I joined Twitter. I want to talk about your Twitter. Oh, really? It's why when I joined Twitter on, what was I on? Oh, Fallon. Yeah. In New York. My first tweet was, can you say fuck on this month?

That's perfect. Your Twitter's wild. One, you don't know how to use a hashtag. My Twitter. Why? What are you supposed to do with a hashtag? You don't, you don't separate it between or you don't have that. You do have gaps. Are you not supposed to get between?

You're supposed. No, you're supposed to. What he would say, all does is he puts all of the hashtags together and doesn't put any gaps. So I don't put a space between them. What difference does it make? Click on the hashtag. You just have unclickable hashtags. So I'm just fucking with the person that wants to click on my hands.

Yeah, pretty much because we want to see what everyone else is talking about. You start the conversation. Yeah. So you put a space between. Yes, I'm asking that. I asked my daughter. No, you got to. It's got to look blue when you space it. It shows blue when you're on the day.

Did I put a space? Oh, you never do. You never do. I didn't put a space between it today. You never ever do. OK, fine. It's hilarious. It's its own way.

So my other question about your Twitter, like when you treat sports, please tell me that you are like screaming the way that you scream on Twitter, because that's how everyone reads it. Like you have a certain. You have such a unique style about your Twitter and, you know, the way you speak and the swearing and everything. When you tweet about something, everyone automatically reads it in your voice. I'm hoping you're saying it out loud.

I didn't tweet any football last year. Yeah, I know why. I loved your tweet about the whole NFL thing. I mean, I got to, you know, I mean, I have to take part of the, you know, fuck them. OK, they're going to black ball, you know, Kaepernick Kaepernick. Yeah, you know, and see, he doesn't do hashtags or other assholes that do really no NFL. No, I didn't. I didn't do the NFL at all last year.

Did you watch college? I love college. Yeah. So you I wrote down a couple of your funnier tweets. How do you feed a hungry man? Go ahead, Chubb. And then what the hell is that when you type that? Most Muga, Puga, Puga of a run. It's it's most motherfucker of a run.

But that's not how you type it. That is most of you. G.H.P.O.U. M.O.U.G.M. M.O.U.G.M. M.O.U.G.M. F.O.U.G.F. P.H. is is F.O.U.G.

Most motherfucker of a run. Most motherfucker. All right, here's one of your hashtags. Like any however you want. OK, so are you saying that out loud when you're tweeting it? Because I hope so. That's how I envision it. I just said it. Most motherfucker of a run.

Yeah, yeah, or you said, yeah, man's man's got to be somewhere. Get get out the fucking way. Yeah, and like I'm just envisioning you watching like Georgia versus Auburn just going crazy on your couch. Yes. Thank God. OK. All right, here's your hashtag. That's all I wanted because I would have ruined the illusion if you're silently being like tweeting about it. OK, good, good.

Here's your hashtag game. Damn, I miss this dude. Hashtag Hitman's wife, bodyguard, Nick, Knack, Noel, Zon, Beauty Patrol, Afro, Samurai, Afro. You know what? I take it back at Trieste, Italy. Your hashtag game is perfect. I do like your hashtag. It's so unique. It's perfect. Everything just running together makes no sense in your Instagram game, by the way.

Unbelievable, because it's half of the pictures are just you taking a picture of your shirt with like the bottom of your chin. Yeah, it's perfect. And half the time that you're getting a barber. Yeah, I used to be like one eye in the corner. Yeah, shooting the thing that's behind me because I want people to see what I'm seeing. Right. And know that I'm really there.

Right. Put half of my. Hank is wrong. Fuck, I talk loud enough for you to hear this shit. Lawrence Taylor almost killed him. Yeah, he did. Lawrence Lawrence Taylor was like this. He was like, Mr. L. T. Can you put the and he is like, looked at him like I talk loud enough

for you to hear me. But I usually put one eye in the corner and then the thing that I'm talking about in the background. It's good. You're crushing social media. I have fun with it. Yeah. I'm too old to be fucking with that shit. Are you a Raptors fan? Yeah.

So what's going on with the finals? Because we're going to run this while the finals are still going on. Do you think this is actually going to happen? I don't know. It's possible. I'm a Raptors fan because I was shooting Long Kits Good Night. The first year the Raptors started in Toronto. So me and my assistant at the time used to get tickets. And Isaiah was my friend.

So he always gave me tickets to every game. So I was there on the floor when, you know, they started with Oliver Miller and all those guys like, OK, so I've been there, which led to me having a Raptor bag in Jackie Brown. When he said, do you have the money? Yeah, right here in my Raptor bag. I had the Raptor, you know, bag full of money. So yeah, I've been a Raptor fan since they started.

And you kind of named the Raptors, too. I mean, they were named after Jurassic Park. I don't think they would have gotten that name if it wasn't for the movie. That's possible. You're like the godfather of the team. So you are you a Kauai fan? Because I also heard that you were a little bit of a Kauai fan. But I was, you know, because I was a huge Spurs fan because I like pop, you know, and all that.

You know, as the whole the whole bunch of things that go together. And Tim Duncan and, you know, Tony and all the older guys, they were like my guys, because it was like a generational thing. And I've been watching them for a while and pops a great coach, really nice dude. And, you know, I've had some interesting interactions with him. So yeah, I'd like the team. And, you know, I I felt really bad. Kauai missed that one free throw that allowed Miami to get that one

championship that they shouldn't have. Right. Right. Yeah, that's yeah, that's true. So you talk generational, you ready for this? This is a great segue. Generational shaft, three generations of shafts. In the new movie. Right. Do you I know I read about like how when you first did the shaft franchise in 2000, you're like, how can I how can I beat Roundtree or, or, or, you know,

trying to beat him, but like, how can I take a role that was so iconic and make make my imprint on it? Now you're 19 years later, you got three generations. You think shafts just going to keep living on past you? I think there's a way that the the mythology of that particular character works in this community so well and people understand him that if they accept the guy that's playing him and he comes in with the right dynamic, you know, it's like when I said to John, when he wanted to do it

in 2000, John, John Singleton, best in peace, that we can't do this movie unless Richard is in it. So the people will understand Richard is still Richard. He's he's still the shaft, you know, yeah, asking the torch. He's yeah, yeah, he's still the sex machine for all the chicks. Right. I got to be something different. Right. And it works. And then I can get to allowing Jesse to come into that family

and use the the gene pool that is his to create something that's his own that will define the character in this generation. Right. Cool. And hopefully that'll happen when like the three of you all come in, dress the same. It's kind of like, oh, this is cool. This is iconic. Sort of works. Yeah. Right. Exactly.

I wanted to thank you while I have you here because in 2000, I went to go see Shaft and movie theaters and I touched a boob in the movie. All right. All right. More than I did. I didn't touch any in the movie. Yeah, it was nice. So you never did a lot for me. No, I kept saying to him. His hands are full of popcorn.

Where is my fucking moment to be the sex machine for all the chicks? Yeah, yeah, in the movie. Yeah. All right. Last question, because we know you got to go. You got a long day. Hopefully you've had fun here. Seek the question, promo code, take, put it in. How much fun is doing those commercials with Charles Barkley and Spike Lee? Oh, do you guys actually have fun because it looks like awesome amount of fun?

OK, one of the three amigos, OK, you know, Chuck, Chuck has no problem making fun of himself, which is the really wonderful thing. And they write some good stuff for us to do that we can fix on the fly and kind of make right. You know, we enjoyed having Larry Bird with us this year. Yes. You know, all the extra stuff that goes along with that. I mean, those are great commercials. It's hard to make a commercial that everyone is a great amount of fun.

Yeah, you know, I mean, everybody will look at him go, he probably is sticking with these cool. Dude is hilarious. Right. Right. And a great guy. Yeah. I'm upset you didn't wear a kangle. That's my only last maybe next time I have you make it cool. So it's not a cool hat. You know, it's not a cool hat.

I have no idea. OK. Hello, they made them cool back in the day before I started. You kept it going. So all right. Thank you so much. Thank you, guys. Samuel Jackson, Seashaft, June 14th. Get some more of a movie. That interview with Samuel Jackson was brought to you by movement sunglasses. That's right. They don't just make watches.

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See why movement keeps growing MVMT.com slash pardon. That interview with Samuel Jackson was brought to you by bird dogs. I'm going off script. I decided today that I wasn't going to use a script at all for my bird dog endorsement because I believe in bird dogs that much. I'm wearing them right now. I wore them all weekend. It's all I'm wearing this summer.

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OK, let's get to some segments. First up, we have a state classie, Max Muncie, because he got into it with Madison Baumgartner after a home run, Giants Dodgers. Max Muncie said that Madison Baumgartner yelled at him and said, don't look at the what he said. He said, like, don't watch the ball. And Muncie replied, if you don't want me to watch the ball, you can go get it out of the ocean, which, by the way, pretty solid clap back.

There's no way he said that. Get it out of the ocean. Well, he said it to a reporter. Yeah, he said he thought about it for a while. He probably was like, go fuck yourself. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck. No, fuck you back and forth. And then after he's like, hey, you know, four hours after the game

and he's like, hey, Max, what'd you say to Madison? He's like, get this. Yeah, told him to get out of the ocean. It's like when you when you get into a fight with somebody at a bar and you go home and you tell all your friends about it. Oh, dude, I had the perfect zinger for him, bro. And I love I love how a mad bum gets so pissed off about this because this is he's good for like three or four of these a year.

Oh, yeah, where he just gets mad that somebody hit one off the moon. If you actually hit a ball off the moon against Madison Baumgartner, he'd get pissed off at you and be like, why are you staring at the night sky, bro? He needs Madison Baumgartner is one of the last guys that we need in this league because he is an anti bat flipper, anti like Pimp Your Home Run. And if you don't have these people, then everything just falls apart. I've never talked about all the time like Goose Gossage is actually very important. He's like an he's like a beaver for the ecosystem.

If you don't have someone yelling about bat flips and pimping home runs, then we're all on Twitter being like, bat flips are awesome. Fuck the old guys. It's like, dude, you're talking about no one now. We all agree. Yeah. So thank God for Madison Baumgartner. No, I like it too. It spices up the game a little bit. And I've never really understood the term pimping a home run. Oh, yeah.

I don't really. It's a pimp walk. I don't get it. Yeah. You pimp walk it. Is that what it is? Yeah. You pimp walk. I always thought that there was like you pimp it out that you're. Yeah, you're trying to get your home run to fuck somebody. Right. You just pimp it out to everyone. You get paid because your home run ball fucked someone. And then you get a cut of that ball's month. Correct. So it sounds like you do get it.

And they go because you smacked the ball. Yeah. And it got wet. Yeah. OK. Got it. In this in this case, J. Matt Madison Baumgartner, though, you get wet. I fucking I do love him because he really is like an old school. You just need a few of these guys. If you don't have a few of these guys, everything falls apart. And you know who's got his back.

I'll give you one guess, but you probably any canal. Oh, well, yeah. Danny definitely Doug Gottlieb. Doug Gottlieb definitely has his back, too. But in terms of like a player that's been around the game recently, Aubrey Huff. Oh, yeah. Aubrey Huff said that he is the most country strong guy that he's ever seen. Of course. And he wishes that Max Muncie would charge him.

Yeah, I kind of wish he would, too. I've seen the last time Baumgartner got in a fight, it was against like Pueig. And he did the thing where he like walked away from him. Yeah, I wouldn't fuck with Nassan Baumgartner. I wouldn't fuck with Pueig, though. Yeah, that would be a good fight to watch. That would be a good, real fight to watch. But speaking of good, real fights to watch.

Yeah, you want to do the tail of the tape. Yeah. So Justin Bieber has challenged Tom Cruise to a fight in the octagon. Maybe maybe a boxing ring. Who knows? Maybe Ruffin Rowdy. We have our PMT intern, Sports Biz. You can follow him, PMT Sports Biz. He broke down the tail of the tape. By the way, how did this start?

Justin Bieber just tweeted it out. He just didn't. He just doesn't like him. Now we don't know. It's like it's going to be fake. It could be stay woke or it could be like this league with recording artists and movie stars and celebrities. Thing is Bieber doesn't like tweets. So why would he tweet? Yeah, why would he tweet?

OK, so the tail of the tape brought to us by PMT Sports Biz, Justin Bieber, 25 years old, Tom Cruise, 56 years old, height. Justin Bieber, five nine, Tom Cruise, five seven, which no chance. That's right. No, Tom Cruise is like five five. Right. Crazy for a guy to lie about his height. No, yeah. All the time. Absolutely not. But no, I don't want to do that. Right. And Jake Marsh real quick on this.

Because this is his listed height right on the Internet. Right. But he's lying about that. He's definitely lying, which people lying about their height on the Internet is like a fucking psycho. No, it's a big, big fucking deal. Like as somebody that doesn't lie about his height ever. It makes me look bad by association. Correct. Yeah. I five eight.

I also don't like to see. I told I told Big Cat this last week, but I guess I'll say publicly because he'll just hold it over my head if I don't. I haven't measured myself in the last like six years because I'm afraid I'll come in at five eight because you are five eight. But I think I'm five nine right because I know other people who are five nine are who tell me they're five nine and I'm the same height as them. You're five eight.

I we don't know. OK, so. Impressed debate. Estimated. Actually, I might be six feet tall. You could be. I don't know. Estimated reach. Sixty eight inches for Justin Bieber. Sixty five for Tom Cruise. Net worth two hundred sixty five million, five hundred seventy million

for Tom Cruise. I still think Tom Cruise would kick his ass. Tom Cruise and murder him. Dude, he does all his own stunts. Hank, he's like sixty. I don't even know if he does all his own stunts. I doubt he does. He does. He there's no way he's like hanging outside of a helicopter mission impossible.

Yes, that's all of them. Yeah. And when he did that thing where he like jumps has to like dance and do stunts for his concerts. Oh, yes, dance. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Beeps have to play basketball with a bunch of lackeys where he crosses them up with a slow crossover and everyone's like, oh, shit. Yeah, no, those are impressive videos. And his hockey videos are crazy, too.

Tom Cruise doing stunts for movies is basically just a dance. It's just like choreographed. It's hard core. You cannot tell the difference to the same exact thing of video online is way younger and taller of Vladimir Putin playing hockey against a bunch of people. He'll murder and Justin Bieber playing hockey against all of his fake best friends. Right. There's also Putin would fuck up Tom Cruise, too. Yeah, well, duh.

That wasn't. Yeah, that was just changing the topic here. Well, you're comparing Putin and Justin Bieber. And I'm saying in a very bad way, though. Yeah, fuck up. Tom saying he plays sports where everyone lets him like the best all the time. I wasn't saying that like Vladimir Putin and Justin Bieber are equally good at shit. Tom Cruise also has a Scientology craziness like that is under like that. Justin Bieber's got the hot, hot pastor church shit, though.

He's not crazy, though. Tom Cruise is crazy. He's crazy, Hank. Like I just think that that adds an element that you can't. I'd like to disavow what Big Cat's saying about Scientology. I think it's oh, I didn't say Scientology was crazy. Wonderful religion filled with great people that are not litigious and would never come after us. I didn't I didn't say Scientology Scientology guy Tom Cruise is crazy

for his Scientology beliefs. No, no, he's in the prime of his career right now. And Tom Cruise is washed up. Dude, Biebs has done so many drugs. Do you say Tom Cruise is washed up? Allegedly. Do you see Mission Impossible fallout? No, he he filmed like half of it with a broken foot. You're crazy, Hank.

He crushed me when he jumped on Ellen's couch. That takes a lot of core strength, actually. It does. No joke. He was just very in love that I don't have. Justin Bieber has never been that in love. Yeah, I when I stood up on that chair Thursday night to try to take the picture of Patrick Sharp. My core was burning for like three days after that.

Although I do kind of like Hank's been talking me into supporting Bieber and this whole thing just because it's all fake. No one's get. Yeah, it's true. Yeah. And then Conor McGregor called out Mark Wahlberg. So now we're just going to do this forever. Where'd Mark Wahlberg come from? I have no idea. I think he might have called them out before, but they all they all got together.

And this is some sort of marketing for something that we don't know yet. Hey, Colin Coward, we'll take you down, bitch. Yeah, fuck you, Coward. Yeah, two on one. You won't do it, bitch. Bitch, bitch. OK, we have talking tennis. Rafa one again, 12th. French open on the clay. He's 92 and two all time on the clay.

And he's goat. He's goat clay status. Well, he's the king of clay. He's he's performed. Hey, Rafa performed so good on on clay. He's like Kauai Leonard. Nice. There you go. You got it. Got the clay lock. Nice.

Nice. He's got clay locked down. Oh, it's like negative five boobs. Yeah, that was pretty bad. So, yeah, that was talking tennis. I don't really have anything else. He just always wins the clay. You know what? It's going to be a very sad day where I find out who won the French open the night after it happened.

And it's not rough at all. Yeah, I'm very upset about it. It was crazy looking at like all the years that he, you know, he I think he's basically what is it since like 2006? He's won every year. There's two two misses, but he just keeps fucking winning these tournaments. It's crazy. Also, I just like the visual of the clay. It's a big time flex.

If you go to somebody's house and not only do they have a tennis court, but they have a clay court. Yes, Dr. Phil. Dr. Phil has a clay court. Dr. Phil made us go see his clay court. He's like, here, come on, fellas. He said, fellas, don't check out this clay court. I was going to play. I had a game of playing times a week.

OK, it's really bad at tennis, but he plays all the time. He plays eight times a week. All right, last up before we get to our Monday reading thoughts and prayers. Big poppy. He was shot apparently in stable condition. We don't know was shot at a nightclub. The surgeon who did the surgery said he's out of danger. Oh, that's good. OK, that's good.

Also, thoughts and prayers to all the Yankees, Yankee fans who have to tweet as a Yankee fan. I still want to send my thoughts and prayers. This is big time as a Yankee fan season where everyone has to declare what team they root for and then say something that's completely normal and makes you just a regular human being like, hey, it's bad that this person was shot. Yeah, thank you for taking a stand for showing that, you know,

some things are bigger than a rivalry. Yes. And one of those things is somebody getting shot as a Yankee fan. So I read I don't want to see this guy die. I read that the shot he got shot through his back and went out of stomach and he was in surgery. I hope that he's doing OK. This is like the I was saying earlier, this is the the mad libs perfect storm of Colin Coward foot and mouth takes.

Oh, yeah. I remember still when Sean Taylor got shot. Are you serious? PFT right now. I'm doing serious. I think it's like that's why that's actually why I don't like Colin Coward and probably he sticks for basically like throwing dirt on Sean Taylor's reputation while he was in the hospital dying. That's Colin Coward's move, though.

Yeah, yeah, he loves. He loves just basically finding the place you shouldn't go. Not afraid to go. Not afraid to go. But yeah, David Ortiz, big poppy, I hope that you're doing well. Shout out, you. Are you OK? No, I'm sad. I actually really do like. Of course, I like him, too. Yeah, we've had he's a recurring guest.

I just I think it sounds like he's going to be OK. It's crazy that like it's a weird headline to see come across on a Sunday night. You're like, what the fuck? So I read that it wasn't a nightclub, that it was like an amusement center or something like that. It was a it was a restaurant. No, it was a restaurant. I saw Entertainment Center, which I assume is what they call a nightclub.

There's a surveillance video of it. It just it doesn't look like an attempted robbery as much as just like a guy. Fucking crazy. Yeah. So but he sounds like he's going to be OK. He's out of danger. I don't know. I don't I definitely don't want to say that. No, of course not. But but, you know, as we can tweet that as a Yankee fan, we want big poppy to be better.

I love I fucking love the internet. How it's so stupid. We actually won't tweet that. Yeah, no, we won't. But a lot of people have already tweeted it. There's so you can search as a Yankee fan right now. I'm going to do it right now and see how many come up Yankee fan. Just stay classy, dude.

It's a very human normal reaction to be like this guy that everyone watched. We hope he's OK. You don't have to tell us that you're also a Yankee fan. There there are some bad takes as well. Really? Yes. Yikes. There's some very bad. How could anyone like who doesn't like big poppy? I mean, as a big Yankees fan, I always root against Red Sox,

but I hope and pray that Ortiz will be OK. That was really nice of him. Yeah, he even went as far to say he always rooted against Red Sox, but a Red Sox getting shot is went one too far for him. Wow. What a human. I really hope David Ortiz is OK. As a Yankee fan and non Dominican, I have so much respect for that man and what he has done for baseball. Wow. Yeah. OK. Interesting.

The humanity we find on Twitter is crazy. How you can feel sympathy for somebody, even though you didn't grow up in the same country they did or root for the or they were the rival to the team you root for. Actually, that is kind of rare in today's society. Yeah, that actually is good for you. Good for you, Margarita. Good job, Twitter at Maggie with two wise.

But we do actually hope that David Ortiz is OK. Sounds like he's out of danger because Hank told us that. So let's just if, you know, well, there's that old saying that like a country that has had David Ortiz grown up and it has never fought a war against another country like that. True. Yeah. That's fact. All right. Monday reading. This one comes from The Washington Post.

It is titled Dodgeball is a tool of oppression used to dehumanize. Do you humanize others? Researchers argue. Wow. OK. One of gym class's most common games is being used as a tool of oppression. According to a team of Canadian researchers, researchers. Wow. So it's Canada is the one who's leading this just so we can get that out there right now. It's too too violent for Canada. Dodgeball and phys ed classes teach students to dehumanize and harm their peers.

Professors from three Canadian universities said in a presentation this week at the Congress of Humanities and Social Sciences in Vancouver. That is a real thing, I guess. The Congress of Humanities and Social Sciences. When you're setting up the environment for students to learn and you introduce the idea that it's OK to slam the ball at whomever you like, even with a soft ball, the intention is there. Yeah. I've always wondered about that, by the way.

So like, yeah, I see why gym class and all that stuff exists. But why are schools tied in with sports? You will be going back to high school. You got to get fit. But I'm saying like, why? Why is it your school that has a basketball team or your school that has a soccer team? Are you saying or sports? No, I love I love high school sports.

And I played several poorly. But what I'm saying is that like it's always kind of a weird concept that it's like the school also is sports. Yes, at the same time. Well, it's a community. The community. Yeah, the community. Yeah. When students think it's OK because we're being told it's OK to do that. What do they learn?

People say dodgeball is being used in an outlet for aggression or catharsis. I suspect that this is where they're learning that. I think it's just a game that you just fucking pass the time with when your shitty gym teachers like here just throw balls at each other. Yeah, also, I feel like dodgeball hasn't really been played in most gym classes in the last 10 years or so. Anyways, and the balls are really soft. Yeah, like they actually have made them.

I played dodgeball a couple of years ago. We played it. We played it like last year. Yeah. And it was the balls were very soft. And it wasn't like those those the kickballs that we used to play with that actually fucking hurt. Yeah, like rip off your skin. Right. These are the Gator skin ones. Right. The like the soft soft like pillows.

They actually feel really nice to hold. Yeah. What I think if you don't have the alternative to not having dodgeball is probably a bunch of other sports that are more dehumanizing. So this is coming out of Canada, where you're literally allowed to fight people on the ice and hockey. Yes. Like you can pick out a weakling and beat the shit out of them. Yes. Across, check them into the boards. But I would much rather have that that confrontation going down

with a tiny soft little dodgeball right across the room. And you say no headshots to start. So it's all good. But you say no headshots. You're fine. Yeah. But then the first guy tries to duck and he ducks into your headshot. Well, not really a headshot and not really a headshot, not targeting. Physical education should be an arena where teachers are helping students control their aggression and move on instead of expressing themselves through anger. I kind of disagree with that.

I feel like physical education should just be like play a bunch of shitty games. Don't have to be in class for an hour and don't overthink it. Well, there is some truth to the fact that if you just tell somebody never to get mad, they just build up a lot of anger. Until the headhunt. And then they start headhunting with dodgeballs. Right. Researchers way. Hitler's P.E. class.

And that's why he went. He's been an artist. Yeah. Researchers set out to interview middle school age students about broader questions and physical education courses, but kept hearing the same thing from certain students. They hated dodgeball. Yeah, from the ones that sucked at dodgeball. I think what this article is also leaving out is that,

yeah, the students might not like it, but the adults love watching kids drill other kids in the face with dodgeballs. Yeah, if you have a good arm, you really love it. Yeah, it's mostly just for the adults to just kick back and enjoy and watch. Like, you know, the kids hurt each other. Right. So they then made it like they basically tried to scare us the most with I think of the little girl who is running to the back to avoid being targeted. What is she learning in that class?

Avoidance? I don't know. Maybe I don't know. Just like white predators. Yeah, run faster, be able to duck, have a better. Actually, you shouldn't avoid. You should grab a ball and use that as your shield. Yeah. So it's actually teaching them to be smart, not stupid and just run around. Right. If that little kid finds themselves out in nature and there's a lion around,

you want them to know that they're supposed to run away from danger. Yeah. The message is that it's OK to hurt or dehumanize. Do you? I can't say that word. Dehumanize the other. The competition is about annihilating one's opponent. And the true definition of competition is between two evenly matched teams. That's not true. Like, if you play any sport, you're trying to crush the opponent, right? That's that's the idea.

This feels like very Canada right now, where they're like, yeah, you do not sportsmanship above all. I get that in youth, but like, eventually, you're going to grow up and be an adult and people are going to be like, well, let's just make sure we have a very evenly matched game. Yeah. Also, if you don't want to be playing dodgeball, it's it's probably the easiest sport to lose intentionally. Yes. Just like on purpose, get yourself out in the first five minutes. This is the best. Well, kids.

Well, kids stack their teams and they really enjoy beating the other team. What's the enjoyment of that? If you're betting on it a lot, I was going to say, like, there's nothing. That's like saying, hey, why are you playing Madden on easy and going 16 and 0 because it's fucking fun? Because I put up mad stats like, dude, you see, like, if I was playing in college football, I win the Heisman every year. It's fucking awesome. Yeah.

Yeah, I did schedule Eastern Washington and like Tulsa. So what? I put up 15 touchdowns in those games. What was your guys' favorite obscure PE sport grown up? I love playing four square. We should bring back four square. Four square was sick. Four square was great. I remember like it was called battleships with those little carts. No, no. Is that a situate thing?

They gave you guys grocery carts. No, they're like these little like tiny carts that you had to wheel around. You'd fuck up your hand. I don't know. So much grocery cart. No, no, like they're like little like you got. You were just playing jackass. You were doing Johnny Knoxville. That's kind of fun. That is the the final line of this is.

This is a wall ball was sick. Yeah, I'm happy that they had a bunch of researchers go in depth here because they finished with gym classes are largely centered around games, which can be great, but can also exclude students with different strengths. You just explained how every gym class that has ever existed. What about fucking math classes where people aren't? True art. Yeah, I think great fucking point, man. Yeah, it's not fair.

No, it's not fair if you can't read. Exactly. Right. I failed algebra. Spelling bee. I felt awful. Oh, dude, I had the same when they when they started doing. What's the one up? What's the one above calculus? Oh, I didn't even touch calculus. It's just I wasn't even close to calculus. It's just dodgeball with your own brain cells. Right.

It sucks. I can't fucking do calculus. That shit was crazy. Did any of you guys do calculus? No, I don't. I thought we are just about here at college. I took one year of calculus. And then I went back to algebra two somehow in college. I took, you know what I took in college? I took that you had to take like some kind of math or science class.

I took nutritional sciences. That was my only science class. So my math class that I took in college was called environmental mathematics. And here's the entire semester was the same equation, but they changed a little bit. So it was like there are 500 fish in this pond after every year, like 10% of the fish will die of natural causes, but they reproduce at a rate of 8% a year for 75. So that was that was a question like in five years, how many fish will be in the pond?

That was the only equation that we had. And they would just change the type of animal and the location for each weekly lesson. So like the next week, it was like, how many iguanas are in the rainforest? If they die, 525. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. So if you could figure out that one equation, you could get an A. I also see plus. Yeah. I mean, once you figure out, once you once you get old enough to figure out that all the odd numbers are in the back of the book

for all your math textbooks, that's pretty much where your math education dies. Because you're like, I will do, I will cheat off all the odd numbers and then I will scribble a bunch of numbers on the even numbers and show my work. Remember, show my work. Fuck show my work. I just told my teacher I can get the answers. I'd be like, I'm smart enough where I just thought of that number. You just think it happened. It happened that I got all the odds right.

Whoops. Right. Fake work all the way to the bottom of the page and then look like you're squeezing in a question mark. Like, what is this show? My work is I'll say this. I've learned 50 times as much math from gambling and smoking. Oh, yeah. And buying weed. Oh, yeah. Then I ever did in any sort of math class.

Oh, yeah. And and buying like cereal in in New York City, where you're like, that's expensive. Yeah. That's pretty much it. So, yeah, Matt, gym class, whatever. It's fun. Yeah, you're like what? Relatable. Yeah, what? I mean, it is. But some of our listeners live in New York City. Other people know that New York City is expensive. I know how to divide grams and ounces.

Nobody knows how to do that shit. The so we basically just prove that you need to keep dodgeball. You need to keep sports where you can just chuck things at people. Yeah, there should be a class where you sell weed. Yeah, because some of us don't do math. Dude, we should take a calculus class. No, I don't know. I don't like July. This is off. It would be funny to have us just sit there and be off season.

What is going on off season? But you get what Liam, you took calculus. Oh, for. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We should finish Liam's degree. Damn, Liam dropped out of college with one one semester left. Two semesters left. We should finish his degree at our pace. Absolutely. Well, no, we're going to have someone else.

Fuck, we'll have a fucking Jake March. We're going to have him remember. We found that fake college over in Europe that you can just buy degrees from. But dude, what if we got an online class when you just made because like Jake Marsh, who's sitting right here, but just don't give him my contact. He were just like, hey, busy work, do this real quick.

It's a calculus class that happens to be UMass Amherst. Yeah, I like that. You're like, here's some busy work. It's a scantron test. Your assignment for next week is to bring in number two pins. It's almost like we could all walk across the stage. Yes, that would be. Yes, if we all go cap and gown across the stage,

it would definitely be worth it. Let's start small. Let's just let's set our goals low and just try to watch a random NFL game at some point this week from like 2007. I don't know if I can do long division anymore. Fuck. All right. Wednesday, we have one of our. Most talked about

story arcs. We made a reference to him in this show, and he will be on on Wednesday. So get excited. One of you will be very excited for this interview. We were also going to give you a little music from our colleague, Frank, the tank to take us out. He put together a song for the St. Louis Blues,

not winning the Stanley Cup tonight to catch his hell. Let's catch his hell. Wait real quick before you before we jump out of here, are we going to do soggy sorrows if the Bruins lose? Yeah, have to. I think you should have to do it, too. Big cat was like St. Louis winning a Stanley Cup. That's just as bad as Hank.

Like he's kind of a I would I would have I would have been mad if the Blues had won on home ice. Now I'm just going to pretend that it, especially because it's on off night of the show. I'm just going to pretend it doesn't exist. So the game will be on Wednesday. And then by Thursday, I'll be like, what are you talking about? Stanley Cup final.

I don't even remember it. Smart. Yeah. Feet picks for sale. Feet picks. Let me know. Yo, hit up Hank, his cash app. Love you guys. You pulled up those ads saying that you already had the Stanley Cup. But you forgot who they are.

50 years of losing. They can't hide from. And they blew a big time. That's what happens. When you are in St. Louis, you're always going to choke. And that's why they call them the Blues. They'll never win the Stanley Cup. It's part of my take presented by Bar Stool Sports.