Pardon My Take - SB 53 Recap, Dan Patrick, Chad Ochocinco, Mr Portnoy and More
Episode Date: February 4, 2019The Patriots are Champions again and we recap the lowest scoring SB of all time. What happened to the Rams offense, Belichick coached a gem of a defensive game and Brady did just enough to win. Best c...ommercials and halftime show recap. Who is to blame for Rams loss, Saints fans must be extra mad, and we sent NFL Security on a wild goose chase. (3:10-24:53) Who's back of the week. (24:54-29:30) Our lawyer Mr Portnoy joins the show to talk about the win and his son being arrested, can barstool counter sue, and what happens next? (30:57-44:14) We had some great interviews over Super Bowl Week on radio so we bring you the best of including an awesome 20 minutes with Dan Patrick, a great story with Mark Schlereth, Ian Rapoport rating next head coach hires, and Chad Johnson talking about the time he had an orgy in college. (44:14-1:24:21) Segments include Sabermetrics Gronk's rings, (1:25:29-1:27:10) put one in his earhole Rovell (1:27:12-1:30:49), Mahomes vs Allen update,(1:30:50-1:34:14) Perspective,(1:34:15-1:36:17) and explain it to us, 21 Savage (1:36:18-1:40:10). You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake
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Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube.
Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music.
On today's part of my take, football is over.
The Super Bowl happened. We will recap everything that happened. It was,
some may say the worst Super Bowl that we've ever watched because we weren't alive
for the first, you know, 10 Super Bowls, but it was still compelling in its own right.
We had the longest punt of all time. That was cool. We also have some awesome interviews from
our Super Bowl week on radio. So we thought it was, we did like maybe our best interview we've
ever done with Dan Patrick. We had Ocho Sinko, Shlereth, Ian Rappport. We thought we wanted
to give it to you guys so you could hear it if you missed it on radio. And we also have a new
interview with Mr. Portnoy Asquire, the People's lawyer because his son got arrested tonight
and we wanted to get the legal side of it. So it's a packed show for our last football Monday
before we get to all of that devour. So we went down to Atlanta. We rode the Devour RV. It was an
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ELECTRIC HIGH BAND NEW
Welcome to part of my take presented by our brand new YouTube page. Go subscribe right now. Make
sure you subscribe because we're dropping videos all the time. Today is Monday, September 4th,
and the New England Patriots have won their sixth Super Bowl. Tom Brady has won two for,
where would he put, where's he going to put the six? The six one goes in your dick. Yeah, it's six
for the thumb. Keep it nice and hard. There was actually a weird Photoshop where they made him
have six hands. Six fingers, just chill out. Six fingers. Actually six hands would be even better.
Just hold them. And just one ring on every ring figure. Yeah, so football's over and that was
the worst Super Bowl. I think we can all agree the worst Super Bowl we've ever watched.
Well, no, no, no, I'm going to disagree. I would say the worst Super Bowl that I've
ever watched is probably the Denver Seahawks Super Bowl. Yes. Okay. But that was just because
it was a blowout from the very start. Okay, so you're right. I immediately as I came out of my
mouth was like, that's actually wrong because we've watched worse. And even in the nineties,
we watched worse because the Cowboys would just kick the shit out of the bills and it would be over
before it even started. It was like, it just wasn't a good, it wasn't well played. Like,
it was compelling because it was close late and there were moments where you're like,
man, this could go either way, but it just was gross. Offensively, the Rams drives punt, punt,
punt, how many punts did I just say? Three. Punt, punt, punt, punt, punt, punt, field goal, punt,
interception field goal miss. Nine punts. Those were their drives. So nine punts for the Rams.
Yeah, it was bad. It was bad. But I mean, the New England defense was very, very good. Unbelievable.
And I actually thought the Los Angeles offense was just like, they didn't look like themselves.
Todd Gurley was, I think he's hurt. He denies that he's hurt, but I'm pretty sure that he was,
there's something wrong with it. He's getting the Steph Curry benefit. But then even C. G.
Anderson didn't play any better at all. So it was like, yeah, the offense for Los Angeles sucked.
The offense for New England minus Julian Edelman was pretty bad until the fourth quarter to Super Bowl
MVP. Shout out, Jules. Nice job today. And now I'll tell you what, the Hall of Fame debate about
Julian Edelman is getting really heated up right now. Robert Ori. Yeah. So Julian Edelman ended
up with 10 catches, 141 yards. So you're right. The Patriots did everything like they made the
big place. Tom Brady was not, I think anyone would say Tom Brady did not look at his best,
but he had to have one good drive to win that game and he did it late. And that's kind of why
he is the best. And Julian Edelman was fantastic. Gilmore on their defense was unbelievable. I
thought he was probably the best player on the field and the Rams offense, they just shit the
bed. Like I don't know what Sean McVeigh, Sean McVeigh should actually probably would have had
a better game if he let us call the place probably like now promised us. And then he just totally
just didn't give us the sweet or the ring or the play call. Well, we did call the last play,
but just for the Patriots, which was the kneel down. But yeah, it was not, not a great showing.
Now you have to ask the question, do the teams that hired all of Sean McVeigh's assistants get to
return them after this showing and be like, uh, Matt LaFleur, I don't know. We'd never actually
signed the contract. What contract? I don't know. I don't see a contract. Well, it is funny because
we, we've joked about it. The whole hiring spree that went on where everyone wanted the next
offensive guy. And basically what you're saying when you hire a seven out of eight or I guess the
dolphins are going to hire Brian Flores and the devil and the Broncos hired Vic Fangio. So six out
of eight offensive guys, mostly young, the fifth or six guy that gets hired is the fifth or six
best offensive guys. So he's probably not that good. Exactly. Yeah. There should be, you know,
how there's the Rooney rule. There should be an Andy Rooney rule where one, every, every team has
to hire one coach that's not a whipper snapper. Yeah. Like an old curmudgeon. Yeah. Vic Fangio.
Vic Fangio. Exactly. The Andy Rooney rule is actually, I think, by the way, we'll get back
to the game, but I really think that Fangio is a good hire for the Broncos. Oh yeah, absolutely.
We haven't really talked about that much, but yeah, it was, it was an ugly game. The commercial
sucked except the Bud Light one because I didn't know that Miller Light and Coors Light are brewed
with corn syrup, which I guess is bad, but it actually makes me want to drink Miller Light and
Coors Light more. Yeah. Put more stuff in there. We're going to give me all of the synthetic
shit. We'll get to the commercials and we have some thoughts on some of these commercials, but
McVeigh was bad. And look, Derek Goff's a very good friend and he's still very young. So I think
he'll be back in this game. He didn't play great. Like he'll be the first to admit it. Look, he,
there were moments where it just didn't work out and credit to the Patriots because
what Bella check does and how he just basically reconfigures his team on the fly to make them a
power running team and their defense somehow comes together. And then the only time they zero blitz
all game long is the golf interception. But they held that all game long and waited and waited and
waited, called it the perfect time. And then they get to play that basically decides the game because
if the Rams score there, who knows who's going to win that game. Right. And Goff has to take that
shot. It was right. It was right throw to make. He just didn't get, he didn't step into it. Well,
he saw the blitz coming. He just didn't step into it enough. I mean, if he'd been thrown five yards
further, maybe it would have been caught or at least incomplete, probably not an interception.
But yeah, bad game overall. The post game was interesting. Do you see Tom Brady kissing Robert
Kraft on the lips? Kissing Robert Kraft? Yeah, just like lip to lip on Robert Kraft. He was
just going all the way in. Well, yeah, he's planning the most elaborate game of suck and blow of all
time with like Robert Kraft and then his son standing next to him. His. So, so what happened
was they, what they went like head to head and then kind of did a little sideways. Craft went in
for the kiss, kiss. They both went in for the kiss, kiss. And makes me think they probably
don't before, which is okay. I actually think that guys kissing guys on the lips, just as bros,
is probably coming back in 2019. Okay. That was very weird. It was also weird how they just basically
I think it was Tracy Wilson walked in and tried to get a Brady interview before anything even like
they didn't even sell it. They hadn't even celebrated yet. And she was like, Hey, Tom,
well, I sympathize with her because her job is she gets the exclusive first interview. Right.
So if she doesn't force herself in there, she's going to get pushed out of the way by a lot of
people. So other notes that I took down from the game, I don't understand what the fucking timeouts
were on both sides. Sean McVeigh, you like, you, you don't get to roll over the timeouts.
It's cause it's hold back guy. I wasn't there today. No, I, I, I, he's mine was elsewhere.
Two, two timeouts. He goes into the first half in the Super Bowl, two timeouts and you had a chance
third and two, I think it was with about 35 seconds left when you're like, call timeout and get your
right play. And maybe you can get, you have a great kicker, try to get 15 more yards and kick
a field ball. And it was just baffling. It just felt like the Rams, besides their defense,
which was very good, the Rams, it was just like the moment was a little too big at times for,
for what they were doing. And Wade Phillips called a great game, guy who's been there.
And that's kind of what we expected where a Patriots team, everyone, you know, all those guys
who played in the Super Bowl, Brady and Belichick have been there so many times versus a team that
just doesn't know how to react to situations like this and big moments. I do want to give credit
to Devlin. Devlin had a hell of a game today. So they have the big block of the touchdown.
Yeah. He had a couple of big blocks. The power running game, there was one play where they just
let Sue run free and Devlin came in with almost like a wham block on him that Sue never saw coming.
Devlin had an awesome game and it's no coincidence that a team with a full back
is the reigning world champion because they zag when everybody else zigs. I don't know.
I'm serious. He played a good game though. Yeah. Liam, Liam is here. Hank is,
he's down in Atlanta. Didn't go to the game. Liam, congratulations, thoughts. Thank you.
Liam also decided to wear a full Boston Red Sox uniform tonight. Yeah, Super Bowl. Yeah, pretty
much. Just in case the Patriots lost, he still wanted to be representing a champion. No, he just
wanted to be like Patriots and catchers guys. Already on to the next one. By the way, people
tweeting about baseball, like we still got basketball going on. Everyone was just jumping
the gun there. Like we're next. People who jump on baseball too fast are like super annoying.
Like who cares if you're watching a video of pitchers and catchers? Oh, no. I love those spring
break videos taken through like three chain link fences. April is a little too early to be all in
on baseball. So let's just like the we're next. Here we come. Like come on. We got March Madness.
We have NBA. We have Masters. Yeah. A lot of stuff that we have to get to. Jim Nance season hasn't
even happened yet. Right. You have to let Jim Nance get all his swag out. Shout out Vineyard
Vines. Jim Nance's new main Bay. Yes. But yeah. So yeah. Lay off baseball for a little bit. Let us
mourn first and get over the grief that we suffer from the NFL season. And you know who else was a
big winner today? The like nine different football leagues that are going to start playing in like a
year because the last taste in our mouth of the season was like a shitty game. Yes. So like, you
know what? I'll watch any football because it's probably going to be better than that. They didn't
have a red zone play until the fourth quarter. It was all defense. So what were your thoughts?
I just think the defense showed up. I mean they showed out. They just had them game
playing so much better. Yeah. Like and everybody hyping up McVeigh. Like they didn't really throw
anything on them that they couldn't handle. It was very strange. McVeigh is a great young coach
and he will probably be back in this game. He'll probably win this game a couple of times before
his career is over. But for our first showing it was it was a clunk. And he has to remember it too.
Yeah. That memory is sealed in there. Bubble let me ask you a question. Do you think that the outcome
of this game is any different if Cooper Cupps playing and Belichick's just out of respect for
him. He's like, I can't. I can't have my defense tackle this way. He's got his eyes on Bay the
whole time. Yeah. He's like, let this let this beautiful pony run free. I actually just remember
it right now and pulled it up. My favorite tweet of the year from September 23rd, 2018 from Bill
Simmons in coverage. The Patriots linebackers look like they're running in Balenciagas. Do you
remember that one? I just remembered that right now. I don't even know what Balenciagas are.
Let's not try to let's not try to pretend that we know what Balenciagas are for the old guys out
there. I also want to say that I'm pissed off. I am pissed off. Yeah. At my bookie. Oh, because
the Gladys Knight National Anthem. Yeah. Was set my overrunner that I got. I was a minute 53.
I mean, you could say I did. I took you over as well. Did you get a minute 53? Here we have this.
Okay. You got a minute 53 too. We both took the over and the song lasted like two minutes and
two seconds by everybody's clock. Too brave. But she said brave and then she paused for like
a nanosecond and then said brave and held it out for much, much longer. And so we ended up losing
after that. We thought that we won. We had a hot tip come in. And then I guarantee you, I don't
know this for a fact, but I guarantee you one of these fucking sports books is going to be like,
we give everyone free. We're giving both sides free money and then Revell will tweet it out and
give everyone free. We'll get to him. We'll get to him. We got Tails though. I wanted to say. Yeah,
we did. We fucking nailed Tails. And Blue Gate. Tails was the easiest bit I've ever made. Yeah.
What about the, what about the halftime show? What about Imagine, or not Imagine Dragons? I
was going to say like Maroon 5 is like a watered down. They're like, if you say Maroon 5 three
times in the mirror, Imagine Dragons shows up. All right. We, let's get to that in the commercials.
Right before that, because we're talking about gambling. I wanted to just say,
I actually, I was getting laughed at because I bet the over and I said, I bet the over,
but Imagine being big cat tomorrow. Imagine being big cat tomorrow. But here's a nice
wrinkle here for everyone who bet the over. You were part of history. Okay. You bet the over
on the lowest scoring Super Bowl game of all time. That's fucking cool, man. It's a story. If
you're going to lose, you might as well lose in such an insane amount of like, like we were,
how many, how many points to score? 16? Yeah. We were 40 points off. 40 points off from the over.
The, the five previous lowest scoring Super Bowls all happened so long ago. Super Bowl 7 was 14-7.
Super Bowl, I can't read my fucking nine was 16-6, then three, then Super Bowl six. I don't even
believe that those games occurred. Like when you say Super Bowl 10, when you say Super Bowl
six, I don't, that's, that might as well have been played in like the Ottoman Empire. Wait,
what's IX? That's nine. IX is nine. I fucking crushed that. Super Bowl seven, Super Bowl nine,
Super Bowl three, Super Bowl six, Super Bowl five. Those are the lowest scoring Super Bowls until
tonight. Yeah. And you, if you're sitting there and you're like, man, I lost, and now listen,
this is not going to pay the money. You're not going to be able to pay your bookie with this
fact that I'm giving you. You can try, but it does feel good to know that you are part of history
and 40 and a half points off of an overrun. Yeah. If they played for 10 more quarters,
we would still be 30 points away from the overrunter. Now, I saw somebody say that the Patriots
defense played zone the entire game, except for Gilmore. Well, they had Gilmore running man
for the entire game. Isn't that weird? Isn't that fantastic? And the Patriots,
this is what we're talking about with Belichick. This is so random. It's weird. So random.
Is it weird? This is why Belichick is, I actually think this is probably his best coaching job
because they're probably not the most talented Super Bowl team he's had, but they ran
man basically all year and then they ran zone in the Super Bowl and just fucked up Sean McFay.
I would also like to say that Belichick is getting soft. If you saw him at the post game,
he was like holding his grandson or some, some child or granddaughter. Well, I didn't want to
assume, but like he was smiling so much. He was laughing. He was having a great time,
not the same Belichick. Yeah. He is loosening up a little bit.
Yeah. This happens when you get a grandson or granddaughter, but did you see the funny part
was when they asked like two minutes, like this is a special one, like pointing to the
granddaughters. Like yeah, it is. And then went right into like breaking down the game. He's like,
don't talk to me about my family. Uh, so let's break down the other stuff, halftime show. I
actually enjoyed it. You enjoyed it. People love to hate the halftime show. Just had a reflex now.
I was just thinking about Imagine Dragons the whole time. I'll be honest with you.
I was like, this could be Imagine Dragons and it's not. Adam Levine was okay until actually,
I, I was happy when he took his shirt off at the end. He had all those jailhouse tats on him.
Come on, man. No, you get it. You fucking, you work out. You're hot. He's Keddo. He's Keddo as
shit. You're awesome. I was cool with it because he proved himself that he was a beta with those,
like he just had two nipples. Did he have a tattoo right across his nose at California?
California, Cali bro. Yikes. That's why you don't like him. No, I mean, I, I'm very,
and then I wish I could be a, what? Intimidated. Oh yeah. But I'm also wish I could be a full
sleeve tack guy. Like those guys are fucking badass. I think I'm going to get a half sleeve.
Okay. You've been talking about this forever. Years. Yeah. Years. I've been talking about years.
A plaid, a plaid, half sleeve. Or I could shut up and do it. Or I could do, I'm like Todd
Gurley with cats with my sleeve. I'm thinking. Oh, remember Todd Gurley? Yeah. Remember him?
We should just start doing that. Yeah. Every, every, every week. Hey, remember Todd. He got cursed.
We went down and lost us that over under week nine. I believe I said, you will never win a
Super Bowl, Todd Gurley. Do you think I could pull off the, the California stomach tattoo?
Only one way to find out. I think that looked pretty badass. Yeah. Fucking do it. All right.
So we had that, the halftime show was decent. It was big boy was great, except he wasn't wearing
a seatbelt when he drove that car out onto the field. So that was kind of questionable,
setting a bad example for the kids. But he was good. SpongeBob, we understood that. Yeah.
It was like, I know that show. That's Patrick and Squidward. I just looked it up and that episode
came out in 2001. So that was also a 17 year challenge. Oh yeah. The 17 year challenge.
The hottest social media trend that CBS started. I was, I've got a joke that you're going to make
me bleep out. Probably bleep this out. You know who started the original 17 year challenge? Who?
Okay. Yeah. Bleep that out. For sure. Bleep that out. Bleep that whole joke out.
No, just a punchline. No. Yeah. Okay. Fill in your punchline here. If you're listening at a
home punchline, it actually is not even right. Well, no, don't we don't bleep this next thing
out. Bleep this next thing out. Yeah. Explain the joke. He's more like. Yeah. Okay. Bleep that
out as well. Yeah, please. Thank you. Thank you. The commercials. So the commercial,
Super Bowl commercials suck now because you get to watch them all online and it's just not,
the novelty of a Super Bowl commercial 10, 15, 20 years ago was it was like,
you never got to see these ads. You never got to see, you know, the best of the best stuff
they want to throw at you just because you, there wasn't as much TV and there wasn't,
you know, like the, you're not just inundated with Twitter and Instagram ads all the time.
But with that said, there were three commercials I thought stood out to me.
One was the Washington Post because journalism is back. Let's save journalism. This is actually
a real sentiment from us. I think they probably wrote that commercial after they saw me get arrested
and they're like, we need to protect. Yes, they definitely need to protect the first one.
You got detained. And then two was the NFL 100 commercial was awesome. Yeah. There's so many,
so many like little nuggets in there. If you're, it was basically like, we should just do like a
watch the thrones podcast just based on that. Oh my God. Did you notice that Odell did his
catch again? Yeah, you could, you could break that down to the hurdle. I mean, Franco Harris came
in the best, the best part of that was that little one-liner that Peyton Manning gave.
He was so funny. Yeah, he's so funny. And the third was my boss, Arod in the planters commercial.
Yeah, that was great. Yeah. I was good seeing Arod in that commercial, which fun fact,
we were actually supposed to be in that commercial. That was supposed to be us and not Arod. Arod
cut us. Yeah. We didn't tell, no, we didn't tell anybody because we were waiting to actually fly
out to LA to film it. Yeah. We were supposed to be in that commercial, but we were offered to be in
that commercial and was powers above us said no. Yep. So that, that was cool. So, but I'm happy
my, at least Arod in the family. At least I got, at least I got my boss. That's big of you.
$400 million to get his beak wet. Spinzone. I don't think I would have been good in that
commercial because he had to reach for kale chips. Like he was really excited to eat kale chips.
Yeah. And I'm such an alpha that I don't think I would have been convincing. I would have been
like, Oh, I saw these are good script. Did you see the script? No, I didn't see the script.
That was going to be me. The reaching, you were going to try to stop me. Oh, nice. Yeah,
that would have worked. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's your year of the core. And I'm the alpha. I'm
like, bro, we don't eat kale in this house. I was going for the kale chip in the middle.
Okay. Good. Cause that would have been terrible for my grade. There was one line. I had one line
and that was it. That we, there was no dialogue except that one line. And I was going to say
something and then I was going to probably change it to these pretzels are making me thirsty.
And I'm going to be like, damn, great callback. Floreo would have loved that.
Do we want to talk about leading the NFL in a wild goose chase? Yes.
From the office. So we'll talk with Mr. Portnoy, our lawyer and Dave's dad later
about Dave getting arrested and the legal ramifications from all that.
So Dave got arrested. Dave got arrested at the game. And when that was going down, I was like,
you know what? I'm just going to start acting like I'm at the game too and see if I can get NFL
security to get all hot and bothered chasing me down. So me and big Cal were sitting there like
crafting tweets, stealing photos from other journalists who were at the game. And I started
getting these DMs from people that were either at the game or in the press box, other journalists
saying that the NFL security was looking all over the stadium for me. It was like one of those,
one of those senior prank type things where you have the three pigs and you write like one,
two and four on their side. So the school administration spends the whole time looking
for pig number three. They were looking all over the stadium for me and we did some videos where
I was in the bathroom and then we did one last one where the camera panned over and saw Big Cat and
then it all came out to do the show. So yeah, the NFL was using lots of manpower apparently,
trying to track me down and the Mercedes has been super dumb. No one plays into our hands better
than the NFL. They're so dumb. Like arresting Dave at the game was such an all time moment and
it worked so perfectly because it was also one of the most boring super roles we ever had. So it
became like if that was a shootout, it would have been arrested and everyone would have forgotten
that happened. But it basically he got arrested and then there were 17 more punts and everyone
talked about him getting arrested and it is the hilarious visual of his skinny jeans like a dead
fish and the whole thing was so funny. We definitely wouldn't have done anything if it was a good
game. We would have been watching it. We would have like tried to piggyback on that all year.
Right. And so we're just bored. Thank you, Roger Goodell, for continually helping us.
And I told you, but like in the moment, whenever he gets, whenever Dave gets in legal trouble,
I think people think I have like the inside word, which really I don't. Like I, like Gaz or Frankie
Barelli will text me and be like, Hey, this is what's going on. But not like details, but I always
get, I got like 600 Twitter followers in, in maybe 10 minutes because people thought that I was
going to break some news about Dave getting arrested. It's like, no, I know as much as you
guys, he's in jail and his fake mustache didn't really help him. He should have gone full, full
face paint like putty and he would have been fine. And that would have been a hilarious way to get
arrested or a Mexican luchador mask, like a wrestling one would have been sick. Okay. So
let's do, we got more Superbowl with segments and Mr. Portnoy and I mean, a Superbowl heavy
show. We'll get the basketball and stuff and baseball. Well, the nice thing about the NFL is
like there is no off season for it. It's the petty league. So you're going to see lots of,
you know, action going on on Instagram, who they're following, who they're not following on
Twitter. So yeah, it's a 365 day a year league. So we have who's back the week. Go Liam.
My who's back the week is bowling. Okay, this is often electric start. Yeah.
Um, my boy, uh, Mookie Betts is known for being a beast at bowling. Yeah. And so this week was
the 10th annual CP three PBA celebrity, Invitational and he won. He beats this is amazing.
And whoever. Wow. Wow. Okay. So I was going to do a SpongeBob. Obviously. Okay. You just
talked about it. I'm going to say Hank's vacations. Oh, you don't want to put that's like a producer
code. Yeah, we'll say that. We'll say it. No, I actually, I can't, the only person in the room
who can say it is you. Okay. Oh, who's back of the week is Hank's vacation. So I told Hank,
I wouldn't say it. So Hank is on vacation at the Superbowl right now and he didn't get in. I feel
bad that he didn't get in because he kept on all week saying, he was like, Oh, I'll just find a
ticket. Then he found a ticket on Tuesday. Then it turned out he had to pay way too much for it.
And so now I feel bad because I was kind of rooting for him to have to wait till like an hour
before to figure out a ticket. I mean, Hank's defense, how is he going to know that it was
going to be expensive to buy a ticket to the Superbowl? He's also been to a bunch and he just
got his sixth ring. So I don't feel bad for Hank. He'll be back on Wednesday. Your who's back.
My who's back of the week is USA Rugby. So the USA Rugby seven team. Check this out. Right. Check
this shit out. So it was the Sydney sevens tournament this weekend, right? Guess what? How
we did? Guess how we finish second? We finished in second place for the fourth week in a row.
Yes. To start the season. So we did. We are the Buffalo Bills now of World Rugby sevens,
but we're also still in first place. Hell yes. We're second them to death. So we're in first,
if we just second them to death, a little bit of playing possum, because you don't need to burn
yourself out in the finals every, every single week. So we're on to Las Vegas and maybe we'll
finish second, third, two unbelievable. Yeah. So shout out USA Rugby sevens team. Also who's
back of the week is the Oakland Raiders playing in baseball stadiums. Yeah. So in a classic news
dump, the Raiders announced that they were going to be playing their 2019 games at the Oakland
State or excuse me, um, at the San Francisco Giants stadium. So they, you will get to see
the Raiders play on dirt and grass for another year. Cool stadium though. I love that stadium.
It is a cool stadium. Yeah. Also it'd be great if a punt or a field goal went into the Bay.
I don't know how they'll configure it. McCove. I don't think it's going to happen.
Yeah. But let's just figure out a way to have it happen. Well, who's their punter now? They
don't have Marquette King. No. I bet Marquette King would punt a ball into the, into McCovey Cove
as a joke. Oh, here's something to look out for wind. It's going to be windy there. It's
very windy there. No, that's true. You're right. It's very, very windy. You're right. It's a
launching pad. Look out for wind. All right. Big guy. Who's your who's back? My who's back
salty saints fans. Okay. Because you watched the Rams offense put up three points in the
Super Bowl. And guess what? I had a stat of the day that I forgot to mention. Well,
I actually think that Georgia would have done better than the Saints. It's true. Atlanta United
scored three or more goals 10 times this year in that stadium. Yikes. So could the Rams beat
Atlanta United soccer more exciting than football? But if you're a Saints fan and this is not meant
to, to, you know, stick it in and, and twist it around, twist the knife around. But if you're
a Saints fan, that is the worst possible outcome to get over the loss. The Rams going in there
and beating the Patriots is way better than having a shootout way better. Basically anything,
but what happened? Because you have to sit there and say Drew Brees would not score three points
in the Super Bowl. Yeah, that's absolutely true. That's what Taysom Hill would score more than three
points. Yeah. So I'm sorry, Saints fans. I didn't mean to do it, but that is who's back. You have
permission for me to continue all your salty behavior for another three months. Yeah. I mean,
you could look at it the other way too, if you're a Saints fan, and this is like justification.
Like we were the better team. No, I don't think that's how you do it. That's what they'll do. I do
not think that's how that works. That's what they'll do. I think you sit there and say,
we just got rocked in the Super Bowl. You know what? Fuck. We, we were almost treated, if the Rams
had won, to potential tet-a-tet with Akib Talib and Vladimir Putin, if they had done the thing
meeting the Russian president. Yep. And then no person would have walked out of that room with
any jewelry on whatsoever. That's true. Just snatch that chain. Don't wear a chain around them. Don't
wear it. Don't wear it. All right. Let's do our interviews. So we'll start off with Mr. Portnoy,
which is a new one. Obviously, we're talking about his son getting arrested and all the details
behind that. That one is brought to you by Cash App. So if you probably heard, PFT was detained
last week. Arrested. Heard from a couple sponsors following PFT's recent
detention and ejection from a Super Bowl 53 opening day event in Atlanta. And this is a
statement from our best friends at Cash App, who always has his back. It has come to our attention
that Mr. Comet or our Barstool Sports Podcasting personality and Cash App partner was involved
in altercation with NFL and law enforcement officials over allegedly fake press passes on
the night of January 28th. While it's against Cash App's company policy to comment on an
ongoing investigation, it is our opinion that Mr. Comet or was targeted by establishment forces
due to his status as a podcaster genius and style icon. At Cash App, we believe that sports
commentary is an inalienable as life, liberty and pretending to be interested in hockey.
When it's the only thing on. So while we respect the NFL's authority, we stand by our belief that
like the Rams versus Saints, this was yet another bad call. Thank you for your time and thank you
for supporting PFT Cometer. Respectfully, Cash App. Thank you Cash App. Yeah, there you go.
So download the Cash App. They have his back. They have our back. We have theirs. Download the
Cash App right now. Okay, here's Mr. Portnoy. Then on the other side, we'll do another break. We're
going to break up each one. So we'll do a little intro, but we're going to go Dan Patrick, Mark
Schlaerith, Ian Rappport and then Ocho Senko after Mr. Portnoy. But here's Mr. Portnoy.
Okay, we had to have our lawyer and also father of a felon, maybe not a felon and also a
Patriots fan who congrats on another Super Bowl. It is Mr. Portnoy. We had to have you on the show.
What a wild night. Let's start with the game real quick. Is it true you stood for the entire game?
I did and I had a pee the last 25 minutes and I didn't and that was not easy. Yeah. So wait,
how's, why did you stand for the entire game? Next question.
Just to relieve the tension. I don't know. Didn't you ever get involved in something like that? I
mean, if I, if, if you're at the game and something like that, you would be standing right after a
few minutes and I, you know, I just, it was tense. Okay. I'll tell you something. As far as, I didn't
hear what you folks said before, but my expert analysis of this game was I wasn't, I knew that
the real weakness was, I thought the rims offense before the game started. I thought the quarter
back, there was such a disparity in the quarterback position and in the coaching. I thought that was
really the difference. I thought it was going to be the difference. And my wife, who was still up,
would confirm that at the end of the game, I said, I have a feeling when it got close that
Goff was going to make a mistake and sure enough, he did. Yeah. I just, I, he's a friend. He's
hurting right now, but you're not wrong. But you're not my friend. No, you're not. Yeah, you're
not wrong. Both defenses played great. And at the end of the day, Tom Brady made the plays he had to
make and Jerick Goff wasn't able to do it real quick before we get into the legalese stuff. I
wanted to ask a while ago, one of your complaints was that Mr. Johnson sometimes got lost in your
underwear and sometimes you would dribble a little bit inside. Given the fact that you held on to
your bladder for the last 25 minutes of the game, what is the status of your underwear right now?
Is it soiled or is it clean? No, no, no comment. I don't, that's a personal question.
Okay. All right. So let's get into the other news because you are the best person to talk to
both as the father and a lawyer. I'm going to explain the backstory for anyone who's not aware,
which I'm sure everyone is, but that's just a good old radio podcast host trick. Dave and PFT went
to Super Bowl media night on Monday. They went with fake credentials. They were detained and held
and maybe say arrested by the police. They were then let go, but on being let go, they were told,
do not come in to the Super Bowl to the, I think the, where the Hawks play and the NFL experience
or else you will be arrested for criminal trespass. Dave, as he is someone who is very headstrong
and you said yourself in the Barstool Gold documentary, even as a kid, he just did what
he wanted and put you in a mental pretzel. He said, I'm going with a fake mustache. And then
at halftime was arrested, dragged out, limp, legged, knees backwards, skinny jeans. Maybe the
funniest visual I've ever seen is two dead legs just dragging up the, the, uh, up, up, up the
concourse. So as a lawyer, they'll ask first, as a dad, what were you feeling? Well, as a dad,
I mean his whole life since he's gotten involved with this whole Barstool and new people and
everything, you know, we're a bad influence on him. No, no, that's not what I was going to say.
I mean, in a million years, if you think I ever thought that my son would be, if somebody would
have told me five, eight, 10 years ago that he would be arrested at a football game when he had
a legitimate ticket and we're just sitting there and we're just hunted down like a, like a, like
John Dillinger to get him out of there. I mean, it was, you know, it's just, you can't even, you
can't believe it. I mean, you know, the whole, the whole thing is surreal. That's the word I'm
looking for. Now, I gotta ask you a question. I want to make, I want to be clear on this because
I don't know the facts. Did they just take him and say, here, open the door and say, get out?
Yes. So what I've kind of figured out from his, from his videos is that they probably put him in
the holding cell in the stadium. So, you know, most stadiums now have a holding cell because
he said in his video, he was with a couple drunk people and then as the game was ending,
they just kicked him out. They just threw him out like, go ahead, get out of here. And he walked out
and he had won $100,000 and the Patriots won their six Super Bowl and he was a free man and the
publicity is unbelievable for us. But we have to ask like, what's going to happen legally because
he's now, he now just is anytime anyone tells him not to do anything, even when it's a real police
officer, he just says, fuck it. Yeah, I'm not happy about it. This particular situation though is
absurd. I mean, it's absurd. It's one thing to judge somebody with criminal trespass, but then
when they go, when they have a ticket sitting in their seats, I mean, it's just, you know, it's
absurd. I'm starting to think that Godel and this whole crew is the stupidest guy in the world. I
mean, I think other people in the public stage are stupid. This guy is incredibly, how could he,
how could he not realize what this was all about? The fact of the matter is, it's one thing if they
would have stopped them and they saw him when he got in there, but apparently they were hunting them
down during the game. What kind of nonsense is this? As to whether or not, I guess, whether there's a,
you know, assuming that this went any further than they were trying to charge him with this,
I think it is difficult to just say, we warned you under what basis he wasn't creating any kind
of a disturbance. In other words, and I guess I realized that it's a private place, you know what
I mean? It's not a government building or anything. They can tell someone don't come, but once, once
you let him have a ticket, I think that changes things to some extent. I suppose they would say,
well, we, you know, we give out millions of tickets or whatever and we don't keep crack of
everybody that actually gets tickets and they would say the minute he was warned,
he has to pay attention to that. That's what they would say, I assume. I mean, I think as a matter of,
I guess, law, they certainly, as if they're, if that, their premises, they can tell anybody,
we don't want you in here for any reason at all. I would assume it's a very unusual situation. I
think, you know, obviously, this is, this is such a favor. It's incomprehensible.
It really is. It really is. Do you think that there's any possibility that they're in cahoots
because it's almost too good for Dave? Like it's perfect for him? Well, I think I saw,
Ken Mackle said that he was starting to think that maybe Goodell is working for basketball.
Yeah. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Like this might be a well-kept secret. Now,
when I got arrested on last Monday night, I was given the same warning that Dave was and I said,
this is a criminal, they were issuing me a criminal trespass is what they said. And they said,
if you show your face in any of those locations, you will be arrested on site. But I was never
handed any documentation. I was just going to ask you that. Yeah, you never got anything in writing
saying that was all they just told me. They told me that they brought in the CEO or the operator
of the Mercedes Benz Superdome and the operator of the convention center. And they were, they were
both very clear saying that I had been issued a criminal trespass. I don't know what that is,
but I did not get any paperwork. I don't think Dave got any paperwork. Therefore,
is this case entirely without merit and follow up with Dave had an opportunity to sue the NFL
for kicking him out of the game, which he paid a ticket for?
Well, if he, if he got injured in any way, obviously that was
His jeans were ripped. His skinny jeans were ripped. $1,000 skinny.
So it's a pretty expensive asset. Yes, very.
The other thing too, he wasn't exactly hiding there.
No.
Doing a press conference. It's just, it's just beyond, beyond comprehension. How stupid. I,
that to me, I just don't understand. And now they showed Goodell. I mean,
maybe you folks didn't see it. They showed him up in the box there with his minions.
Then of course, people were saying, well, all they're doing right now is a strategizing
what they're going to do about David Portnay. I know what I was going to say.
Can you imagine, God forbid, can you imagine if there was ever any kind of serious incident
that took place? We were talking about that. Yeah.
And all these security people were busy. They weren't around.
What were they doing on a blog? Yes. Yes. We were talking about it because
they thought PFT was in the building and we started tweeting about it like he was.
And PFT received information that they were actually actively looking for him in the stadium.
So they were using at least some resources to try to find a man who was sitting next to me
the entire time in New York City. Really? I mean, God forbid, if anything,
monsters happen, which in today's world, we all know that it can.
And if it turned out that that situation became a drastic situation and all the security people,
which Jason's a blogger, it's beyond comprehension. It really is.
But I'm kind of serious in that question. Like would Dave have the opportunity to sue
since he was never like booked or processed and they just they took him out of the stadium?
Like since it was just a verbal warning that was issued, like could this actually carry on?
What you're saying is that the initial thing of telling him that, you know, if you can't come
here, that to just have that all be oral and not give him a written document saying you would not
be allowed in, that that means tantamount. He really hasn't even been warned properly.
So therefore he was a civilian sitting in a seat. I think that's a good argument.
They had no right. They had no right to touch him. Yeah. Good point. Yeah. All right. So thank
you, Mr. Portnoy. Congratulations again on both a Patriots win and also birthing
like the baddest dude in the world, I guess, to some. Well, he didn't burn. He shot him out.
Yeah. Yeah. You helped, you helped create a guy who's such a bad ass. He won't listen when you
tell him you, you'll be arrested for criminal trespassing. They're lucky nothing happened
there tonight. I can tell you that I'm talking about something serious and that came out that
the whole crew was chasing a guy in skinny jeans. Yes, exactly. A guy who paid way too
much for his skinny jeans. All right, Mr. Portnoy, thank you as always. Sleep well. It's late. Get
to bed, please. Yeah, I am. All right. I'm going to go to the bathroom too. Yeah. All right. Congrats
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today, MVMT.com slash pardon. Okay. Here he is. Probably the best conversation we've had with
Dan Patrick. And if you hear other voices, it's because it's the rest of the crew. So Roan,
Willie Cologne, Tyler, they all joined us for Radio All Week. So don't be alarmed. Those are
them. But here's Dan Patrick. You said Dan Patrick. We didn't get to applause. Oh yeah. Okay.
But seriously, what are you doing? I saw you on the list and I was like,
that's not did Patrick's not coming on this show. You guys have always been good fans of ours,
friendly to us. And that's rare for you guys. Okay. And so I, Paulie, my producer, McLovin,
Seaton, Fritzi. So we appreciate the partnership. And so when they said, would you come over? I said,
yeah. And I said, well, they have beer. And they said, yes. And I said, okay. Let's do it. The
Bud Light. I like this. We have a good symbiotic relationship. Your guys helped me do illegal
activities. And in turn, I do not set you on fire when you're standing next to me in a van.
I didn't know that my guys helped you get into me. Well, well, you just snitched on them,
no, I was, I was with them. And I blended in with them. They did not provide you. You don't
blend in anywhere. You do not blend. Yeah, maybe like a mighty, mighty Boston's music video. I might
kill it. You killed it. You look great. Thank you. You do. I lost a bet. Oh, you did. Yeah. So I bet
Hank that the charges would beat the Patriots and the Patriots with the shit out of them. So
because this is a Broncos field to you. Yeah. All the great teams. Yes. Yes. I
I didn't know where to start with that birthday boy. It's his birthday. Oh, but I I'm saying that
like I'm wearing this for my birthday. I've been wearing just as ridiculous outfits all month
long. So it's good. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I look kind of like it's a great look though. Do
you want it? Do you want to smoke a hookah with me after this? That's kind of the vibe I got. Yeah.
I think we need to take it something a little stronger. Yeah. Yeah. This is it's a different vibe.
It's a different vibe. How super are we going for you guys? You know what? You just kind of
put your head down and go and then you kind of come up for error and you go, okay, now it's time
for the game. Yeah. Because it feels like everybody's exchanging guests. Yes. So it's what you do with
a guest or what we do with a guest and then that's where you're trying to differentiate yourself.
We were saying beforehand that you had Dan Marino on this morning. We had him on right after and
whatever you did, you really put him in a bad mood because he was a jerk to us. Yeah. And nothing
to do with the fact we stuffed Dan Marino into the back of a van in a random parking lot and almost
blew out his knee trying to get into it. It was clearly your fault. Marino, it can be a tough
interview. Yeah. Because like he sort of interviews the way he quarterback like he's no nonsense.
Yes. I get serious and so I could understand that. But I've known Marino for 25 years and he's
still a tough interview for me. Yeah. So I mean, you're the best interviewer in the game. What do
you do prep wise for maybe a guest you don't know. So it's not Dan Marino, but you know that they
might be a little difficult. Like what are the tricks to get them to open up a little bit?
I think well, I had not interviewed Saquon Barkley before. So when he was coming in,
I'm just looking for something that gets a smile on his like something where he knows,
all right, this is they know about me. I think a lot of guys want to know
that you did your homework on him. Yep. Because if you don't, where you'll say, so tell me about
your rookie season. That's not a good question to ask them. But give me the moment when you
realize I'm no longer a rookie. Then he can say, you know, after the fourth game, I was considered
a veteran, not a rookie. I didn't know that. So then he started to open up a little bit more and
he looks great, sounds great, wants to do this as a living. So then I just started asking him,
I want you to be an analyst here. How do the Rams win the game? And he goes, wait, you want me to
do it now? I go, yeah, you're on the spot. You're on TV. Go. And then he gave me 30 seconds. I said,
now that's what this is all about. Can you do this? I said, you got to get reps. It's no different
than running the football. So then I was at least put, I was in his world, not making him come into
my world. Right. And so he relaxed and he was very, very nice guy. Just on Watson the same way.
Yep. That's crazy. Once again in the business. McLovin, that was a terrible, my elementary,
my dear Watson. We actually cringed. Yeah, I'm looking right at you. And I'm good friends with
Perloff. We played basketball together back in New York, but that was, we all, we all looked at each
other in the van. We're like, Oh, come on, Perloff, please don't do that. Well, we were trying to
come up. DeSean Watson doesn't have a nickname. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. He doesn't know. I don't think
you need a nickname if your name is DeSean. Showtime. We'll get Pat Mahoney. No, DeSean is,
DeSean's a great name. I think elementary. You're a mobile quarterback in Texas. You need a nickname.
Yeah. Like he said, you know, I'm, I'm DW four. That's weird. No. And then I said,
that's too close to D Ford. Yeah. Who screwed it up with the Kansas City Chief. Like, you don't want
that. They're like, remember when Paul George wanted to be PG 13? He's like, yeah, he's playoff.
What do you do? Now and forever. This is weird. DW four is too close to this. Yeah,
playoff P who never shows up in the playoffs. Yeah. But your names are earned. So he has to win a
little bit more. He can't give himself a nickname. Correct. Right. Right. So that, that's part of
the problem. Somebody in Texas got to come up with a better nickname. I feel like John McClain
is the guy that hands out nicknames to people in Houston, right? He's the man, the judge. I just
think DeSean is such a cool name that you don't really need something extra. Not everyone has a
nickname. You need one. If you are a mobile quarterback in Texas playing with JJ Watt,
that whole defense, you got to stand out like you are a side show to that. How about never going to
win a Super Bowl? How about Texans? The big cat franchise. The big cat pinky guillotine. Yeah.
I bet my pinky this year, when the Texans were 0 and 3, I said I'd cut off the tip of my pinky if
the Texans won the Super Bowl and then they went on to win like nine games in a row. But I never
was really worried because that's a franchise. It's just like, I don't see it. I don't see it. No,
I wasn't. I said I'd be worried if they got the buy and they didn't get the buy. But nobody, nobody
talked about that nine game winning streak. No, no, no. They just, they were like, oh yeah, by the
way, Texans won again. They won nine in a row. If that would have been somebody else, then we would
have gone, oh my God. Hey, Texans. They're starting to have that Cincinnati Bengals mistake. Well,
you know they're good enough. They get in, but you really don't believe it. The Saturday afternoon
ESPN game. That's what they just pencil them in for it every year. As I said, they played it for,
if they could have played them at one, they would have played them at one on that wild card weekend.
Yes. It's just like, this game isn't going to be any good. Let's just get it over with and then
we're going to move on to the nightcap. Yes. Do you, so this year you, was it, this is the first
year that you didn't do football night in America? Yes. Did you miss it? No. Really? No tears.
I missed you. No, I appreciate it. Yeah. That's the interview and trick you can pick up. You just
compliment the, yes. And I almost believed it. In an insane amount. Yeah. Didn't even notice
you were gone. Notice I said, is this the first or was it last? I have people who still think I
work at ESPN. Yeah, right. They're like, I love you on sports. I haven't been there in 11 years.
But I, thank you. Yeah. I didn't miss it because I, I was able to just watch as a fan and it's
been such a long, you know, sometimes you forget about it. You know, when you do it for a living,
you forget to be a fan and I don't root for any team. People always go, who are you rooting for?
Give me a great game. I couldn't care less. Storylines. Yes. That's the most journalist
you ever be. But that's all I, because I grew up a Bengal fan and if you say, hey, you know,
I'm a Bengal fan, if I say something about the Steelers, then you go, well, he's a Bengal fan.
Right. So I just disavow any knowledge of any teams. I just root for a storyline. I like that.
Now, when you were working on Football Night America, were you aware of the Collins Worth
slide in that they used to do? No, because I didn't think it was a slide in. I just thought they
opened the camera up. Yeah, it is. It gave the appearance of a slide. There is a little bit
of a slide too. He moves a little. It's, it leaves into it. I'll do an impression. Okay. You're
on my cousin. Welcome to nice foot. There it is. It's not like that. No, you didn't even see it hit
the lip bite too. That's right, Al. Well, he loves those teenage girls out. He is a tall guy. So
there, there is this elasticity. He can sort of lean in like that. I just think they opened up,
you know, they opened up the camera and gave the appearance he was sliding. It always looks like
Shackian in a yellow cap. What about the Kerry Underwood song? Are you more of a fan of the
one from last year when it was waiting all day for Sunday night or this year where it's,
I forget what was the one this year? Game on. Yeah. It's Sunday night. These are the things we
really think about. Yeah. I don't know the song. Okay. I've been waiting all day for Sunday night.
You haven't been out of the game of working on Sundays long enough. These are the things,
like in two or three years, you will notice if they change the song. What the hell? They changed
the song on me. Okay. I didn't realize that the member of the NBA on NBC. Yes. Yes. Round ball,
round ball, round ball, round ball rock. John Tash. Yes. Yeah. Fox uses that for their college
basketball. Yes. Like you can't do that. Yeah, you can. No, you can't. Yeah, you can because the
song is so good. It needs to be out there in the world in public domain. No, no, no. But it was
like Beethoven. It's on Fox basketball. Listen, I agree that when, when that song hits, you're
thinking it's going to be Michael Jordan versus you. Yeah, but I can't have a butler versus Xavier.
And that doesn't get the juices wrong. You don't bet enough. No. No, I don't. I use to.
I, I, I use. What do you have? Bram, you had to stop. Oh yeah, you used to gamble with Pete Rose.
I used his bookie. Yes, that's the story. I knew I'd get you there. So when the whole Pete Rose
thing came out, I knew his bookie. Yeah. So it wasn't one of those, do you think Pete bet?
Yeah, right. No, I know he did. Yeah, I know he did. I, I, I know. Yeah, we, we both lost. But,
but my bookie would tell me that, you know, Pete bet on everything. And then, you know,
so when this happened, when this story broke, I called my bookie who my former bookie because
I stopped betting. And I said, you know, what can you tell me? He said, no name and his name never
came out. Never came out in all of this. And so I said, what do you know, what do you got on Pete?
And he said, all right, well, I can, I can tell you some of the stuff that he bet on.
And he started telling me, I said, did he bet on the Reds? And he said, he bet on games with the
Reds. And I said, did he bet against the Reds? And he said, I don't want to, I don't want to say
that. So I don't want to say, yes. So then years later, I have him on the show and Pete said,
I bet on the Reds every night to win. It'd never come out before. And he says, I bet on the Reds
every night to win. So even if you bet on your team that you're managing, you can still manipulate
a lineup. Of course, I can bring in John Franco. John, I know your arms tired, but I'd rather you
came in than this guy or a starting pit. There was one starting pitcher that he didn't bet on,
I was told. Okay, like he wouldn't bet on his own pitch. Right, right. Or you could just say,
we're going to gas out the bullpen. And tomorrow I won't bet. Yes, right. Yeah. So yeah, I did bet
through the same guys that Pete did. It will be interesting to see how Major League Baseball
responds to embracing gambling and embracing the legalization of gambling while still pushing Pete
Rose away. Well, it's like marijuana laws. Right. You know, now all of a sudden you've got to vacate
a lot of these sentences because what are you in for? Marijuana. Right. That's legal now. Yeah.
Not a supplement in food trucks. Right. Right. And states where guys are playing and marijuana
is legal. I mean, why? Although the NFL's drug testing, it's really just a stupidity test.
It's really if you miss practice or not. Right. To test you. Right. Because it's just once a year
and you know it's coming. And if you screw it up, you deserve to get caught. If you get caught,
I mean, you really let your hands off the wheel. Right. I mean, like a lot of guys I know hit it,
if you will. They were very calculated. They knew like, all right, this is showtime. Let me clean
up. And then once they got pissed, they will off and run into rainbow land. So you got to be a
domestic. But if I live, if I play for the Broncos, why can't I smoke pot in Colorado? Right. Because
it's PED, Dan. But it's especially all we know about the opioid. It's a PED. If you're an offensive
lineman, you get high, you eat a shitload of food, you get heavier. Well, I tell you this. Listen,
I know a lot of guys. Yeah, this is what he answers. Yes, but
besides the munchies, I know for me, I couldn't sleep. So if it was Baltimore week,
and listen, I got Ray Lewis and I got Halody Nauta and Ed Reed. I got the whole, I'm going to know
the baddest defenses of all the land. And we're trying to win a division title. I got anxiety
a little bit. I'm anxious. I'm not picking up the phone. I'm staying. I'm worried about my assignment.
You know what's going to help me sleep so I can get proper sleep to do my job. Did you smoke before
game? Oh, yeah. Breaking news. Yeah, Dan Patrick just got me. I've seen playmakers.
Yeah, I want to get credit for this. For me, I didn't like, I didn't like taking ambience.
I didn't like opioids. I didn't like none of that stuff. The only thing that got me to level out
and get some sleep and because my knees were shot was joy. What about you, Dan? Do you ever have
like an interview anxiety? Maybe the night before a big guest is coming on, can't sleep.
You got to get inside of a van. Get a brownie. Maybe get burned alive. Yeah. I tried to burn them.
I hated pot. Really? I don't like being. Sounds like a pothead would say. No, I just like. You
hated bad pot or cop. Maybe that wacky to backy. Yeah, because it was ragweed when I was. Yeah,
that's true. It was called a ragweed. Yeah. But I know I never, I wasn't a big pothead
fucker. Yeah. And you know, I had, I went on my vacation with my wife and the next week I was
starting at ESPN. So we're in Negril and we go and we go to a place called Mary's Special Cakes.
Okay. I've been there. So it's a little. It's a little shack. Now, Rick's Cafe is down the block
where you jump off the cliff and, you know, so my wife and I, we go in there and we were told,
oh, you got to get one of Mary's Special Cakes. So we walk in and I said, two special cakes.
Well, the special cakes are really large brownies. Yes. So we have little Vespas,
little motor scooters. I'm drinking, you know, I'm eating the brownie. Next thing I know,
I'm in trouble on the brown, you know, with this on the Vespa. Yeah. I pull over and I get up on the
cliff there. I jump off like my wife's going, what the fuck are you doing? I'm jumping off the cliff.
I go back, it just dawns on me. So I'm coming back two days. I have to take my drug test
to start ESPN. Oh. So I have to go to the local hospital and I, I'm getting a bag of piss from
somebody. No, I said Bob Lee. I got Bob Lee's, Bob Lee's piss. He had clean piss? Yeah, he did.
He had like a prosthetic black penis. It wasn't prosthetic.
And so I said, okay, I, I may fail this drug test and not even, and not get higher in ESPN.
I never, the guy I was with, Danny, another guy named Dan, he wanted to be a custodian
and he said he had smoked pot a couple of days earlier. He didn't get hired
and I somehow got hired. I know I failed that. Yeah, you must be like, you know what? He's talented
off. I mean, the Mary special cake was like a brick. Yeah. It's not your fault. You're vacation.
Yes. It's Mary's fault. Not mine. Yeah. Yeah. If that was the case, like Bill Walton would never
have worked a day at ESPN. Yeah, I know. There's no way they tested. No, no way they tested Bill
Walton. I have breaking news. I mean, I'm testing for a lot of things. Yeah. Yeah. I have breaking
news. Okay. We have a Ryan brother back in our life. Oh, Rob Ryan has been hired as the linebacker's
coach for the Washington Redskins. Let's go. So that is huge. Wait. So we got, we got Rob and
Jim Tomsul asking to defend. Yes. That is my important thing. This is huge news. Dan Sider
tries so hard every year to make me never root for the Redskins again and somehow find a way to
bring me back. You know, it's gonna be amazing. I had saw Rex Ryan, Rex Ryan a couple weeks ago.
He was telling me about Rob possibly joining the Bears. Yes. Yes. Yes. But they're not head coaches.
Like Rex is not a right now. Technically, you're right. It's hard. No, he's not. No, and he's
come on again. No, let's just get wild. College. What college? Possibly. No, Rob is not. I don't
think. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you can't. No. And like Jim Tom Sula, I'm sure
he's a nice guy. He's not head. Be careful. No, he's not. No, he and Raport gave it, Jim
Tom Sula, like a 20% chance of getting a head coaching job again because someone would get
fired and he would become the interim. Somebody, there are certain guys who were just assistant
coaches. Yeah, that's true. And there's nothing wrong with staying an assistant coach. Right.
Like Leo Mazzoni was a great pitching coach. He wasn't going to be a great manager. Yeah.
There's just certain guys that that's, that's as good as you get. Basically anyone under
Belichick. Wade Phillips. Yeah. Wade Phillips is better as a defensive coordinator. Every,
every Belichick disciple. Yeah. You've seen it. And that's the problem. You go, I'd make a great
head coach. No, no, you're, you're good at this. That doesn't mean Matt Patricia,
just because you're good at being a defensive coordinator doesn't mean you can be a head coach.
Right. Right. Even though Belichick, if Belichick was Belichick now as a defensive coordinator,
he wouldn't get hired as a head coach because you'd look at him and go, how's he going to win,
you know, that if he goes into a press conference? Yeah. Because there's part of,
you know, was, is kind of the old mold and he gets hired at Denver. I was surprised. I was too.
But I think that's more just a, his defense speaks for itself. And he, you know, the Bears were
obviously had the best defensive league this year. But what he did the two years prior without
Cleo Mack, where he had no one and they were playing way above their level. I think that's
what people saw in the Harbaugh. If you talk to anyone who's on the four, was on the 49ers during
that run, he said Vic Fangio was the biggest reason for that success. But you don't have to make them
a head coach. Yeah. That, that's, that's a problem. It is true. You put them in a position where you
all of a sudden you go, Oh my God, like I got to go to fundraisers or, you know, I got to go over
here. I got to, you know, instead of just saying, Hey, I get to be in my own little room, you know,
devising a game plan. Don't have to talk to the media. Yeah. Because you're right. There is that
feeling that it's just the natural ladder of life. And sometimes you should just stop where you're
at. Yeah. And just like, you know what, I'm just going to stay here and do, you know, it's kind
of what Clemson has going right now. If you talk to any of those guys, Davos got all those Brent
Venables should be a head coach. And he's like, No, I love it here. He paid $2 million a year.
That probably helps. But you could be a great, yeah, be a great producer in TV. That doesn't mean
you get to be an anchor, right? You're just a great producer, but it doesn't say more to at least
get the nod to be one. Because I feel like if you're a great DC or agree, a great OC, and you've
never been able to at least get an interview, doesn't that speak against you? I think that we
would view that in today's, you know, in today's sports board, you go, Oh man, not good enough to
get that. Yeah. But I, there's part of me that would go, No, I know what I do well. Now our ego
says I'm going to be a head coach. But Charlie Weiss was not a head coach. Right. Romeo Cornell,
not a head coach. Brable might be, you know, I like his style. But I, you know, I just think
there are times when you go, certain guys are meant to be a head coach, certain guys are not.
What about Connolly's rice? Head coach. Head coach. Big time. Yeah. If she could have been
have you ever had, have you ever had that moment in your career where it was the next step and you
said, Nope, you know what, I'm not going to do this. I knew like when I hosted the Olympics,
I realized I was going into territory that I wasn't as good as Costas was doing. But I still
wanted to do it. I, I wasn't able to headline NBC, I think as an Olympic host in my mind. I had
doubts about my talents to do that. But I watched Bob do it. And I realized he, there's certain
things that he does better than me. Get pink eye. And very good. Yeah. But it was only one eye.
That you have got pink eyes. But I knew that I could aspire to pink eye. Right. But he was,
he was, there are certain things where I went, I don't think I'd be good at that. Yeah. And that
was one of them. Even when I started working at Sports Center, when Berman, my first show was
with Berman. And I wondered if I could keep up the energy of doing an hour live show. And Berman
was the master at that. And, you know, I eventually grew into it. But I had my doubts when I first
started. You ever wish you tried play by play? I tried play by play. Thanks for listening. Yep.
And I wanted you to plug your play by play. There's no reason to plug it. Yeah. I realized I
couldn't be what I wanted to hear. If that makes sense. Yeah. I mean, I grew up in a shower.
You know, I was listening to great guys. And I instead of realizing not everybody can be
Al Michaels or, you know, I grew up with Marty Brennan, who's a Hall of Fame baseball now or,
you know, Jack Buck or throw out all the great names. I was comparing myself to those guys after
doing four games. And, you know, it was stupid to do that. But I couldn't capture a game that I
thought would be interesting for me to watch or listen. But you do have the big game voice.
You know the guys? Yeah. And, you know, I think they're, I don't want to knock anyone, but there
are certain guys who do play by play and you turn it on and it just feels like it should be, you
know, one o'clock on a Saturday afternoon. A little spin. Yeah. Not Saturday night at 8 p.m.
You have that voice though. You have the big game voice. But you've got to capture. There's a certain
quality of in the moment, capturing the moment, compartmentalizing it. And the guys who do it
well, they make it look and sound easy. And I knew what my limitations were. It took a while
because everybody gets full of themselves and says, I can do that. I got humbled, I think,
a couple of times. And then it makes you take a couple of steps back and say, you know what,
on second thought, I'm not that. And you got a bad gig that you got going on. You hang out with
your friends in your pajamas and get to interview everyone in, what, five minutes from your house?
Yeah. Pretty good. That's a mile from my house. That's pretty good. And above the bar I go. That's
the dream right there. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it would be like bar stool. Yeah. Like that. We put on,
we put on pants sometimes. Yeah, I wear sweatpants, Dan. I don't wear pajamas. Yeah. I have worn
pajamas. Yeah. I think we saw you. But that's okay. Yeah. Like part of the beauty is that you're
showing a radio show on TV. It's not a TV show that's on radio. So when you see us, we don't wear
makeup. You know, we don't have a stylist. I just say, just show up. I don't care what you wear.
It's the content that you give the audience is what's key. I want you to see and go,
God, those guys, they look messier. They don't have their act together. Well, I just saw but
crap. It is what, yeah. No, that's why I mean, that's the appeal. I don't work from home anymore.
So I don't, I'm not able to watch as much as I used to, but I used to have it on every single day
because it feels like you're hanging out with your friends and you guys all get along. And even
when you get mad at Fritzi, I remember that one time got really awkward. That was weird.
Well, like three years ago, he stood up to me. Yeah. And there was, there was real tension in
the room. I know it was real tension, but we used to do the show out of my attic. So when we first
started out, we didn't have any money. And so the Danettes would come to my house, go up the
back stairs. We converted two bedrooms and we built our studio. So my wife would be there in her
bathrobe, cooking breakfast. I have four kids, you know, getting them out of the house, yelling,
screaming, animals all over the place. And they would go up and we do a national radio show.
That's incredible. And, and then, you know, where I live, they said, you can't run a business out
of your house. So we had to move. And then Paulie and I, my producer, we went to the local bar
and the guy who owned the bar said, I got space upstairs. And we went up there and looked like
a Stephen King setting for a Stephen King movie. And including a mannequin that we never knew.
And the guy named Jeff, who died there, but we don't know anything about Jeff.
Oh, we got the sixth member of the show. G E O F M. Oh, exactly.
No offense anyone who spells it that way. But no, no offense. No, no, there should be a
grow up parents are asked. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. G off. Yeah. Got off. And so we went up there.
We had three months to create that man. Okay. And that yeah, go ahead. I was gonna, I'm, I've
always wondered watching the show, how much flannel do you think Paulie goes through in a year? Does
he have like a closet full of stuff or does he buy new ones? He Oh boy, he loves flannel. He really
does. He does. He's like an American Eagle cattle. He he loves flannel. Yeah. Really kind of scary
that he and he'll take pictures of flannel. You know, you might take pictures of your kids
or, you know, vacation sites or cars or Paulie will show you if he got flannel. Yeah. Flannel and
tailgates. Take pictures of those. But if you put the flannel with the tailgates, now we're in heaven.
Now we're in heaven. And it also has to be the shittiest football game. Yeah. Yeah. But it's like
division four, which doesn't exist. It's Paulie's there. I own a yeah. Paulie is there. Boner jams
when he when he's able to dogs, dogs, then you're talking about the Adam Sandler movie we created
that we pitched Boner dogs. You don't remember Boner dogs. How do you forget? I'm trying to
forget the whole van. No, I there's one thing you have to remember. It's Boner dogs. I thought it
was Boner jams. No, Boner dogs is the movie you have to take a bit. Adam Sandler, when you see him
that Rob Schneider, Chris Rock, Kevin Farley, James James, Kevin Farley, and Kevin Farley,
Chris Farley's younger brother. That's true. He gives them a piece every now and then. I never,
I never proposed that to Sandler. Okay, can you do it? Boner dogs. We've got a bunch of people
who are actually interested in that. Yeah, Kevin, Kevin Hart. He's attached. Yes, Kevin Hart. He
was he wanted to hear more when we started boner. Okay, Lawrence Taylor. What is a boner dog? Well,
the story is a mix of Rudolph the Red Dose reindeer and Hansel and Gretel. You've got a sled dog team
and the lead dog has a boner. They all make fun of them because he's got this red rocket lipstick
hanging out and they go off into the woods. They get lost on a rescue mission and the only way that
they can get back is by following the trail that was left by the boner and boner trail. Yeah,
the voice of the boners, Will Ferrell and David Spade, I think plays the nutsack.
Yep. And then Rob Schneider is the dog who owns the boner. Yes. Okay, who plays the boner?
Will Ferrell plays the boner. Yes. Oh, a voice. Yeah. Rob Schneider plays the dog.
So there's where's Sandler? He's producing. Yeah. He's the guy. Yeah, he's the owner. He's a sled
musk guy. Yeah. And then I, but I, I have a cameo in all of his sandwich. Correct. So what am I
doing? You can be the fluffer. You can be the fluffer. I was going to say the flaccid penis of the
number two dog. Don't have to be in a movie to do that. Yeah, there you go. Perfect. Yep.
That interview with Dan Patrick was brought to you guys by Stitch Fix. Stitch Fix is an online
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slash PMT to get started today. Stitchfix.com slash PMT. The next interview that you're going
to hear is with Mark Schlereth, recurring guest. I surprised him during this interview. I had my
mom text me a photo of my Little League baseball team that he was my coach of. So this is back in
like probably like 1996. I think I was about 11 years old. He didn't remember me because it wasn't
very good. But yeah, kind of surprising with that. It was a cool interview. Great catching up with
Stink. So here he is, Mark Schlereth. I've got a little surprise here for you. Do you not?
You don't mind. So I think I may have told you this at one point, but you were my Little League
baseball coach. Really? That's how impressive of an athlete I was at the age of 11 is you don't
remember me. On the Marlin. See, there you are right here. We'll put this off and give you online.
There's you and there's me looking like a clean cut son of a bitch. Is this real? You were really
his coach? Yeah. Unbelievable. How about that, huh? That is unreal. You're the kid that we used to
make sitting right field, right? No. I won the bat. I won the bat on that year. You remember
the bat? Yeah, I do. I do. The whole league. This is unbelievable. So you played. There's my boy,
Daniel. There's Daniel. You played. So Daniel and I were about the same talent level at pitching
when I was 11. There we go. And then he grew a lot and became a major league pitcher. Yeah,
it's still time for that is unreal. Pretty crazy. He was on the Mark Schlereth diet of me. Right.
Now, I bring this up for another reason and that's you're not a big participation trophy guy,
right? No, not alone. Okay. So we came in second place in the league that year and the first place
team got a nice trophy. It was actually a game that lasted for two days because rain delayed it
halfway through. The team that beat us, they got a nice trophy. You were like, you know what,
you guys played so well that I'm going to get you a trophy and you guys bought us trophies that
were bigger. Yeah, first place trophy. Yeah, we're coming in second. That's right. That's right.
I do remember that now. Do you think you participated in the Pacific ace of America by doing that?
No. You know what I did? I was trying to I was trying to lift you up because you were so bad.
Yeah. I was like, this is the last time this kid will ever play sports. I want him to have something
nice. Yes. He gave you confidence to carry about your the rest of your life. Not enough to keep
playing sports, but I also don't think it's participation trophy because it was pre-participation
trophy. Was it? Yeah. I feel like participation trophy culture didn't come into play until like
the last 10 years. That could have been the first one though. Right. It's not a participation trophy
because it was bigger than the first place trophy. True. So we guys want a loose place team
up yours. Yeah, you're way better than you. Yeah, we were better than them. Yeah.
Much deeper starting rotation. Like I was number four. Daniel was number five. We were pretty good.
Yeah. Right. Yes. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. That interview with Mark Slith was brought to you guys
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you don't go back. We are going to play the interview from Tuesday at the Super Bowl with
in rapport. It's us guessing the coaches going forward. So we want this on the record.
What chance coaches will get hired? Maybe Jeff Fisher was tossed in there. 50%
All right, we're going to finish up with this. I have three coaches I want to ask if they will
get another head coaching job in the NFL. Jeff Fisher. Nope. No chance. No chance.
Put a percentage so that there's at least a chance. Got zero. Damn it. All right, Rex Ryan.
Probably not zero because he really was a pretty good, more than decent coach. I would say like
10%. I think he tried to get in this year as a defense coordinator and couldn't make it happen.
Jim Tomsula. I would say 2%. My hope because he's on his staff. That person gets fired. He takes
over his interim because he's done it. Leads him on a dramatic something. And he is a charismatic
man. Yeah. See it. Yeah. So maybe I would say 7%. I got one more. Greg Shiana.
Good question. He is a good question. Yeah. I would say like 20%. I'm probably an idiot for a lot
of reasons, but I think he was, I think he would be a good coach. He got screwed by the Josh Freeman
situation like five years ago or six years ago, whenever that was. I still think he would do a
good job. So maybe if he's Patriots defense coordinator this year, kind of. Last one. Q. Jackson.
3%. Okay. That's the chance. I would like Q. Jackson back in my life. There's some jokes. There's
some unfinished business. Would you get him on as a guest? Yeah. We said some really mean things
about him, but yeah, we could. He said mean things about players and he's still. Yeah, that's true.
That's a good point. That's a good point. All right, Ian. Thank you so much. We appreciate it.
Okay. Last one up. Ocho Sinko. He came in and let's just say it was insane because he told the
story about a threesome and there's a plot twist. Not going to ruin it. Here it is. Ocho Sinko.
A really underreported facet of this story is Roger Stone. Like 10 years ago,
they found a profile for him online and him and his wife, let's just say he likes to invite other
gentlemen to be with his wife while he watches. I used to do that in college.
Yeah. With Roger's wife? No, not Roger's wife. Just in general. You would have girls,
or you would have a guy come over and have some. Corvallis is a real hot spot for orgies.
This is Santa Monica. For billionaires. Billionaire men that couldn't satisfy their wives. They would
just use me. The cuck. Yeah. You were cuck for hire. You were just coming in. Only billionaires
though. Do you know how much I made in 1997 as an expression in college? Tell us. How much did
you make in 1997? A lot. A lot of money. A lot of money. So do you think if you, can you still play?
Right now. I feel like you're one of those guys who's like, yeah, any second. Right. Call me up.
Probably. I mean, the fact I, I probably, I think I could play maybe third downs. Okay. Since I retired,
I've been playing semi pro soccer the entire time. So I haven't stopped running yet. So physically,
I can probably do it. I probably can't take the punishment of an every down receiver. Right. Third
down. Yeah. You got a pretty good leg on you. Right. Like I remember you kicking, you did a kick
off and you made an extra. Yeah. I'm good from 60 right now. Still. No, and the bears need a kicker.
They do. Yes, they do. Come back. Yeah. I mean, it's not going to have to do it. Otro Senko.
That's the 85. Like Chicago loves the 85 bears. Yeah. There you go. Senko bears.
You know what? I have a friend of mine here. I don't know if you, where's Will?
There's Will. Can everybody say hello to Will? What's up, Will? My guy Will. Is this
his birthday or something? Huh? Is this his birthday? No. He's just a cool guy. Will and I, Will and I
in college, we had a three, we had a threesome. Oh, okay. Can we get a mic to Will? Yeah. Yeah.
Who's the lucky player? Listen, this is like, I gotta ask Will a question. I don't know how
many years ago this was. And in Corvallis or is the... Oh, all right. So we got a mic to Will. Hold
on. We're getting it into the crowd. Do you always roll with guys that you've... No, actually, I came
alone. It just so happened. He's here. I haven't seen him in years. Like, what? Will. Will, remember
that night? I remember that night. How can I forget? Will, who came first, Will?
That's between Chad and I. Oh, okay. All right. So it was you.
Guilty. Guilty. Good talking to you, Will. That's a wild one. You just walked into this bar
right now and saw... Hey, remember when we fucked together? Yeah. Was that the last time you saw
each other? Yeah, it was. It was like America. You know how you switch? Yeah. You ever did? No? No. Wait,
it's my bad. Fuck it. No, walk us through it. Walk us through the room. That was how it all
goes down. It just like it happens in the movies. Yeah. Like, wild things are like you're in a pool
with a girl and Will and you kiss her and then you kiss Will? No. Like, you ever played Marco? We
started out like Marco Polo. Oh. Like, you had a blindfold on. Like, burp box. I mean, no. It was dark.
Okay. Yeah, it was. All right. I can't... Listen, I know how do you... Not the place. How do you get
it? I mean, you brought up the origin. Stop the place for that. You brought cocaine and origin. So,
okay, let's get to some segments. A wild move to have the guy you had a threesome with.
Be in the crowd. Yeah. That was the story that Osho Senko told if you skipped it.
Bad aunt. Shame on you. I feel like if you have a threesome buddy, you have to roll with them
almost everywhere you go because you're not sure if that guy's going to talk about the threesome
of other people when you're not around. You don't want him... You always got to keep eyes on him.
You don't want him telling people that you came first when he's not around so you can't back
yourself up. Isn't it? You probably did come first. Isn't it almost better to come first though?
We'll see him come again. Well, so you can get your twofer in. Yeah. Or so you don't have to worry
about like, you know, the mess. I see. I'm feeling a threesome. I would just... It would be like
60 seconds. Okay, guys, I'm gonna go watch the rest of the game. Yeah. Once you make eye contact
with the other guy, you just boom. Hey, there's two now. So you... More than enough to finish this.
Yeah, you get... Without me. Yeah, you get... Once you're done with your nut, you get the nice spot
on the bed. Yeah, it's like... You get to spread out a little bit until the two of them are done
and they have to fight for the corner. It's like playing... It's like a three-way catch when
you're warming up. It's like, you don't need me here anymore. Yeah, my arms loose. You guys are fine.
All right. So segments, first up, let's do save metrics with Gronk. Let's put in this audio.
So my friends and I, we were chilling and I only played half the season the year we got number two.
So we were hanging out and we all decided I had one and a half rings because I only played half
that season. That one... The time we won it the second time. And they said that rounds down for
some reason to one. And they said if I get two rings, that means I get another, another ring.
I'll have two and a half and that rounds up to three babies. So I got three rings now, baby.
So if Gronk had lost that Super Bowl, he'd still have one Super Bowl ring, but winning that Super
Bowl means he has three. So Rob Gronkowski is the first player ever to win two Super
Bowls in one single night. It's pretty impressive. And I agree with this math. Yeah. So here's why.
If you weigh 150 pounds, you can't be like, I basically weigh 200 pounds, right? That's a huge
difference. Right. But if you weigh 250 pounds, if you weigh 250 pounds, you can say, I'm pretty
much 300 pounds and everybody would be like, yeah, you definitely look like you weigh 300 pounds.
Okay. So like, for instance, if you, all right, no, no, I actually agree with what you're saying
now. It's like, if you're five, six, you go around telling people that you're five, eight,
but no one really believes you. Right. But if you're five, 11, you, you are basically six feet.
Yeah. You are six, one even. Yeah. I got you. I got you. I think we broke that down. We got it. We
got it. We got it. Um, we have next up, uh, put one in his earhole. This one I'm passionate about
PFT. So, uh, maybe let me know if I get a little too personal here. I'm going to take it slow.
Okay. Darren Revelle tweeted, harder to breathe, caches at nine to one for first song, went to
the rehearsal and kept it quiet for my degenerate colleagues. Thanks, Darren. Appreciate that, Darren.
Okay. Well, so the worst part about this, in my opinion, is that he tweeted it out after the fact
to just let everybody know that he didn't give them free money. He wanted everyone to know
that he knew, but wasn't going to tell them. Yes. If you had that information and kept it to yourself,
that's questionable, but maybe something that a lot of us might do, but then to rub it in everybody's
face is world-class douchebaggery. And here's my biggest problem. I like Revelle. Ish. Do you? Yeah.
Some things about Revelle I actually like. I actually find some of his ridiculous like tweets
funny or informative. Fascinating. I am. I'm fascinated with Darren Revelle,
like a scientist is fascinated with a mouse that he's experimenting on. When he got the
perfect deck, picking the cards from like 1982. Yeah. That was actually entertaining.
Some things that Darren Revelle provides this world I'm in for. The problem is he works for a
gambling company now. And you, and he's like kind of being like, oh yeah, I'm part of the
degenerate crew now. Anyone who's ever gambled in their life, who has a gambling addiction,
who enjoys gambling, whatever it may be, if you have a hot tip and you don't tell your friends,
you're the biggest fucking asshole in the world. Because guess what? Darren, we also knew that was
going to be the first song. And guess what? We told our friends and our friends told us. And
that's how we knew. We knew not because we knew, we knew because someone else told us. And of
course we're going to tweet it because then it actually knows the whole bet. Well, that it also
actually says if it becomes public information, the bet is null and void. So we can't,
something we can't tweet and also since someone I told my friends and also since we heard it from
somebody that had a source, we weren't caught. We weren't going to tell people to bet on it
because we weren't 100% sure. Right. But we felt good about it. Right. And we didn't even get the
nine to one. We got, we got just the field, the rest of the song. So like this exact scenario
happened. And we told our friends and you sat there and told no one and then told the world
that you knew and didn't tell your friends. That's a fucking dickhead move, man. This is the classic
example of reminding your teacher that they didn't assign homework, but also reminding your teacher
that everybody owes money for the field trip that's in two weeks and they haven't paid yet. I'm mad.
I'm mad. I'm mad too. I'm mad. And if I were one of his colleagues, I'd be real mad. Oh, yeah. Well,
look, you know what? Does Darren really have gambling buddies? Well, I think he calls like
anyone he knows, like even for a brief second, he and Kobe are buddies. Yeah. Yeah. Here's another
one. Here's another perfect example. I knew from a tip, which was inside my brain, that it was going
to be tails. And I told the whole world, I told the whole world that it was going to be tails
tonight. What was it? It was tails. By the way, that was such an electric coin flip. It was great.
It was so high. The height was awesome. Hot seat Donald Trump's coin flip from the Army
Navy game. This one just cucked the shit out. Oh, so good. If you want to count the rotations in
that flip, there are probably like 20 rotations. It looked like a nice, like a spinning disco ball
up in the air. Yep. Yep. So, okay, I'm off that. We're done. P.T., I have a question for you.
Hit me. Seeky question. Put in promo code take, take, just take for $10 off. Seeky question.
During Super Bowl week, we had a couple of interviews, one with our friend, Josh Allen.
You threw out an idea. Josh Allen versus Pat from Holmes throwing competition. Is that idea
going to happen? Well, I asked him, I said, who do you think could throw the ball further? And he
didn't know. He said, that would be fun to do. I went up to him later and I was like, hey, do you
really want to do this? Because I think that we could raise a shitload of money for charity if we
had like an event where it was just Josh Allen, like a rocket off. Right. Just throwing a football
and then Pat, my home is just throwing a football and that's it. And so I talked to Josh, he said
that he's in. Yep. Slid in those DMs on. I did too. On Pat, my home. Yep. And he has committed
interest to it. He said, yeah, let's do it. We'll have to wait till further in the off season,
though. Did you, did he talk to Josh Allen though? I don't know if he talked to Josh. No, I know,
I confirmed that. Oh, you're confirming. I also slid in the DMs and was like, yo, well, did you,
I mean, you probably didn't do the move that I did. Come on, man. What was yours? I said,
hey, man, congrats on the MVP. I did. Okay. And he said, I appreciate it. Yeah. Of Mojis. He said he
had been, he had talked to Josh Allen the night prior and that they talked about it. Sweet. So
we basically got it set. Let's do it. And I think we need to do, would you like, do you like my
idea that we do like a bunch of different random objects, like a toaster? That could be cool.
Yeah. Like obviously it leads up to a football, but a competition of throwing things. Paper airplane
would be good. A cat. Yeah. A dead cat. Two cats. A dead cat. So we don't hurt any cats. We're not
trying to be cruel here. We'll kill the cat before. Yeah. It'll be put out of its misery
efficiently. And then they'll be thrown. A goldfish into the ocean. That would be nice too. Yeah.
Back to its native environment. Goldfish love the saltwater oceans. Yeah. By the way, we have
the longest living layering of all time right now. You know what we should do? It also coincidentally,
you just chink, you just muster goldfish. Well, just say coincidentally, it's also the only
layer we've never been responsible for. That's true. How about this? It leads up the final boss
in the throwing competition is us. Vortex football. Oh yes. Done. Like 150 yards. Yeah. Launch that
shit. Vortex. If you're still making footballs, let's do it. And Nerf's still around. Yeah.
Nerf's around. Are you sure? Yeah. Toys R Us going out of business probably hurt Nerf. You know what
we should do? We should just strap Darren Ravel to a chair and put him on the goal line and you
have to throw the ball from your own goal line. We'll blindfold him and we'll put glasses on him
so he looks like a nerd. And then if you hit Ravel, you get an extra 10 yards. Yeah. Well,
you know what we'll do? We'll put him there blindfolded like everything you just said,
but instead we'll throw bullets out of a gun. No, it's a hand grenade. The last one is just a
hand grenade. It's all right, Ravel. We don't hate you. We're not going to kill you. Come on,
Ravel. Just chill out. We might kill a cat. No, we're definitely killing the cat. It's
gotten sideways on us, by the way. This whole point of this was to stop all the fucking assholes
that are trying to cock our competition. And somehow we have killed Darren Ravel and killed a
cat and also killed a goldfish. Do you think that dead cats always land on their feet too?
Yeah, for sure, dude. For sure. Oh, we'll have a dog eat a cat and then we'll throw the dog
that has the cat inside its body. God damn it. Okay, so we're going to do that competition.
Everyone back off. Back off. All right. Second to last, we have a perspective. What do we have?
This is from the Rams tackle Andrew Whitworth. So he was dealing with his emotions after the game.
Mammoth of a man. Yes. And a very good player. LSU. Yeah. Gold Tigers. Gold Tigers. He was also
runner up for Block of the Year. Stephen Chase Block of the Year. The coveted award.
Yes. Jason Kelsey won that. Yeah. So they're asking him and he credit to him. He was professional
unlike some other people that don't respect a press and won't talk to them after Super Bowl
losses. But he said, at the end of the day, we're all going to die. So a little perspective here.
I hope he didn't mean this day. Was he saying that like just everyone's, is he in a cult? Is he
like an apocalypse cult leader? Damn. That's good. But it is good. It's a good spin zone. Just
saying, you know what? Nothing matters because we're all going to die. Damn. Damn. Sucks. Nihilism
is pretty fucking sweet. Yeah, it is. You can do whatever you want. Lobowski. Killcats. Another
ad that sucked. Oh, yeah. I thought it was going to be the new Lobowski. I thought it was going to
be an ad for Kahlua for a white Russian recipe. Fuck. Yeah. What was it even? It was for Stella
Artois. You know what happened? They also had the Dosekis guy in there advertising for Stella.
Is it Artois? Artois. I prefer to Americanize it and say Artois. It's actually just called the beer
that you have to rip that fucking paper off and it's really annoying. Yeah. Or the beer that's
served in the weird glass. Yeah. The beer that you want to drink when you don't have good enough
taste to drink wine, but you want to look like you're classy enough to drink beer. Stella Artois
should just label themselves as the beer that everyone orders at a restaurant that's too fancy
to serve Bud Light. Yeah. Pretty much. Pretty much. Yeah. When you're with someone who's a
little richer than you, you're like, well, fuck. What I really want is some like a Seagrams in
Seven. Yeah. I'll do a Stella. It's Belgian. Yeah. It's from a native land. Yeah. I don't know which
one. They have pure paper laws and nothing's ever gone wrong in Europe with... It's great.
Purity laws. Great. All right. Last up. Explain it to us. Liam. 21 Savage. Who is he? Okay.
Start with that. Let's start from the beginning. 21. He's... What song does he do?
We did one in a Larry video. Okay. You're going to have to... You know. Start talking and I'm going
to look for his most famous song. So he's like New Age Atlanta rapper. Kind of blew up a few years
ago. He's one of... One of like the first like SoundCloud rappers to really like break the mold and
be like mainstream. So he's like super representative of Atlanta, like along with like
like Migos and other people like that. Bauer. No. Who else got arrested? Bauer? Bauer did,
but that's problematic. No. Another rapper got arrested. Yeah. Bauer did. For something really
bad. Oh, I didn't know what he got arrested for. Yeah. But so it came out today. I guess he has been
attained by ICE. Yeah, there's a new one. Okay. The DJ from the Team Double Play the Play? No. It's
you would know more than me. I actually don't even know what it stands for. Immigrations and
custom enforcement. Okay. Yeah. So apparently he's from the UK. That's badass. He's British.
He moved here in July 2005. It's like Idris Elba. Yeah. It was like legal how he moved.
So what else are the princes? Harry. Meghan Markle. She's British. Harry and who's the other one?
Meghan. Michael. Prince Michael. Harry. William. William. Probably. Got it. Got it. Got it.
So his visa ran up. Okay. His visa ran out and so I guess it just came out today and he's like
there's a new card situation. Visa. It was a work visa. He was like, yes, I'm more massive.
I don't really know. Like he would know how the way more than I'm coming to the United States
to be a rapper. I'm going to like every have a British. No, not at all. He's faking his Atlanta
action. Yes, which is like the craziest thing because he's like, he's like the most like
Atlanta guy out there. Like, I love he has like his voice is like unbelievable when he talks.
He's like super low voice, like, like super deep, heavy sweet. He's from, he's from the UK.
Should we do free 21 Savage? Yeah. All right. Okay. All right. I mean, he's like killed people
too. But I mean, well, we still, no, no, it's still free. Do we know that? Or is that a legend?
You know, Capone got arrested for tax fraud. Yeah. Bubba, I know that like you usually don't
dive into legal stuff early with us. But if you want to say that somebody's killed something,
you got to stay alleged in there just in case or just or just show in the inflection of your voice
that you're using a question mark. Yeah. So he killed someone. Yeah. Also, if you say I think
he killed someone, if you say he killed someone, you're technically snitching. So I wouldn't do
that. True. So I've got some of his lyrics right here. So I'm going to read them in his real voice
since he was too much of a coward to do that. All these in words,
got six figures. They won't miss a no. I'm gonna shoot their baby mama if I get the poll. Oh,
hey, bodyguards going through customs, customs. Both of them boys got handguns.
Because most of your friends can't trust them. Clout chasing. Clout chasing. Me and Savage,
we come from the door. I like this guy too. If you're rapping for money, you silly, mate.
This shit ain't a milli, this shit a hundred. Do you know who Skepta is?
You sound like him right now. Skepta? Skepta. Is that RG's new wife? He's like a London rapper.
Yeah, you don't know that. He's been on like Drake's sausage. Oh, yeah, I know Skepta. Yeah,
that was the voice you were doing. But like it sucks, obviously, like I'm a huge fan of 21,
but it was like the most incredible timing because it was like when you're just bored watching like
hours of pregame and then it just came out that he's like from the UK and my timeline was like
the funniest thing I've ever seen. Just the memes were like unbelievable for a few hours before the
game. All right. I give you no free promo. Oh, by the way.
He a cup like Robo. I'm a passer to the gang like Romo. Brand new Rory on solo.
Let me finish with this because it is Super Bowl Monday. We have a report on Robert Gronkowski's
retirement, alleged retirement. Gronk says he'll party first, then he'll figure out if he wants
to retire or not. That's a good. Yeah, expect something in one to two weeks. Some people do
like a pros and cons list. Some people count to 10. He's just going to slam Yeager bombs and dance to
LMFAO for two weeks and then he'll have a moment of clarity. He'll find his nirvana. He's just going
to be sitting on a couch with his bros just hammered out of his mind at four a.m. She'll be like,
yes, I guess you retire and that will be how he decides it. And they're so fitting. You know what
it's probably gonna be? He'll get a call and be like, Hey, Rob, OTAs are next week. And if his
reaction is like, this sucks, then he's going to retire. And if his reaction is like, whatever,
then he'll do it. But the trick there is it's going to be a call from Belichick and he's going
to do that call in a week. So OTAs won't actually be coming up. He'll be like, what? Oh man,
this season is super short. All right. Well, congrats on your third ring. Gronk, congrats to
Patriots fans. Football season is over. We will figure everything out. We'll put back the pieces
of our lives on Wednesday's show and try to figure out where to go from here. We'll move forward.
There's no other direction to go. Yep. I love you guys.