Pardon My Take - Scott Van Pelt + Game Of Thrones S8E1 Recap (Big Cat watched all 7 seasons)

Episode Date: April 15, 2019

Tiger Woods is officially Back. We talk about the awesome sports Sunday and Tiger Woods winning his first major in 11 years (2:27 - 15:25). NBA playoffs and we're officially and Orlando Magic podcast now. NHL Playoffs, did the Caps kill the Penguins and the Lightning (15:25 - 21:39). Who's back of the week including gum chewing and Magic Johnson tweets (21:39 - 33:19). Scott Van Pelt joins the show from Augusta to talk about Tiger's 5 green jacket, the scene on Sunday, the comeback, and whether or not it's time for Tiger to "come home" (embrace the bald) (33:19 - 61:29). Segments include THIS LEAGUE for Amir Johnson on his phone, it's louisiana who cares, and hot in the streets.  Finally we wrap up with a Game of Thrones recap. Big Cat binged the last 7 seasons and gives all the hot takes he wrote down plus Episode 1 talk and who will win the throne. It's without a doubt the dumbest Game of Thrones talk on the internet but perfectly in line with what we do. You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's part in my take, the return of the one true king, yes, that is Scott Van Pelt, live from Augusta, talking about Tiger. He really, we couldn't have picked a better guest for this show. He's known Tiger, Tiger's entire career, covered him, was at Augusta. Really fun story from him about like seeing Tiger, the happiest Tiger he's ever seen.

We also have who's back of the week. We have a couple of fun segments and a Game of Thrones recap, an actual one. Big announcement. Big announcement. I've been watching Game of Thrones and PFC watched the 16, actually twice, you watched the 16th minute. I watched 32 aggregate minutes of Game of Thrones recaps. And PFC watched the first episode with us on the eighth season.

So we're all caught up. I have many questions. It's time though, before we get going, to talk about the cash card from the Cash App, the number one finance app in the App Store for a reason. The Cash Card is the most powerful debit card in the world. And the only debit card with boosts, a money saving feature, you can't get anywhere else because Cash App invented it. Just select a boost in your Cash App, swipe the Cash Card and save 10% or more at Whole

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Download Cash App from the App Store or Google Play and order the Cash Card today. You're not an award-winning listener unless you do. So go download it now. Okay, let's go. It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports. Welcome to part of my take, presented by the Cash App, who's an expo, thank you to Cash App. Today is Monday, April 15th, actually tax day.

And Tiger is back. And actually tax day. And actually tax day. Did you guys follow your extensions? Extension, baby. Extension City. Now, somebody told me that you have to send in how much you think that you owe them. True.

Really follow the extension. I don't think that's real. 90%. Never done it. That's what I heard. Never done it. 90% of it. 90% of what you think that you owe.

So you can round that. Yeah, I think I owe one way or the other. I think I owe a negative $2,000. So do they have to send me like $1,900? Yes. I think so. Yes. Pretty much.

So remember your taxes. Good math. Remember your taxes. If you're listening to this, it's too late. But the real story is Tiger Woods is officially back. I knew it from the second he stepped foot onto that first tee box with that red that he was wearing, the mock turtle neck looking good. Mock turtle necks were made a huge comeback this weekend.

It was like a neon red that he was wearing. I saw that. I was like, it's over. It's over. He had that Tiger swagger. We have Scott Van Pelton who talked to us in depth about seeing like old Tiger back, but it really felt like that. And it was the most like fun sports event that I can remember in a very long time.

And like when one of your teams isn't involved, because everyone is either rooting for Tiger because they, you know, we, America loves the redemption story. We tore him down the DUIs, the infidelity, the sex scandal, all that shit. And then watching him build back up or you're someone like us in our age group where you got into golf because of Tiger Woods, golf became fun in the late nineties because of Tiger Woods. So for to see him come back, dominate and win the masters in like a star studded field where it was insane for a while there was just an all time moment.

Everyone chanting Tiger, his kids. That's why sports are fun. For those of you that might not have remembered what golf was like pre Tiger in the PT era. This is, I'm talking like mid nineties, early nineties. It was basically like Ernie L's and Jim Furick, Greg Norman, just like lanking around out there and wearing very finely pressed khakis. And then Tiger came. Very strange pad.

Greg Norman's pattern shirts were always weird. Shark. Yeah. The great white shark with the, well, he's the golden bear. Remember? Yeah. The golden bear. The golden bear.

And then, uh, then Tiger came in and then all of a sudden golfers are athletes now. Yup. They're swagged out. Ricky Fowler is wearing like University of Tennessee belts. Brooks Kepke. Looks like it could be a quarterback in the NFL. I said Brooks Kepke maybe 700 times this week. It's, it's addicting.

It's literally addicting. I'm wearing Nick Fowler. Say Brooks Kepke in his native tongue is, it gets me going. He's very American. Yeah. People are, I think you confused some people thinking that. No, he's from South Africa. He's from South Africa.

I'm Brooks Kepke from South Africa. The hand up, I never thought I'd see Tiger back in this spot. I was definitely in the camp of he will never, he'll, he'll, you know, be in it, in it maybe a couple of times, maybe flirt with one, win a couple of shell opens or whatever the fuck is out there, but I'll never win another major. I was very wrong, but it's one of those times where I'm happy to be wrong. I'm happy to eat crow and be like, Hey, guess what? I, all my takes were wrong, but it was awesome to watch him win.

And I'm happy that he's back. That's what should be on the menu for the next champion sitters. Crow, crow, everybody in their jackets. Eat crow and Christian Ellis's ass. Yeah. I know it was, it was a lot of fun. I don't remember the last time I've had this much fun watching golf on a Sunday ever. Yes.

And it was amazing. I think that, I think the security guard that slide tackled Tiger, which by the way, was that try to milk that one time. He milked it a little bit, but whatever it did, he tore his Achilles and then you slow mo and the guy didn't even touch him. No, we clipped him. He clipped him. Whatever, whatever happened, that security guard needs to get a little taste.

He needs to get at least the Matt Kuchar. Yeah. Like what was it? Point zero, 6% of the purse should go to that guy because he got fired. I'm pretty sure. Well, that was also a good spot for Tiger because, you know, when Tiger was on his way back, uh, when he had all the surgeries and stuff, anytime things went wrong, he could basically just go to his knees and be like, I'm hurt.

So that was kind of a, Hey, Tiger, here's a freebie that you can say you're hurt. Oh wait, you don't need it. You're, you can overcome all this stuff and you can win the masters. Your fifth green jacket, hilarious. Watching Patrick Reed have to hand it to him after all the shit that went down in the rider cup and the Butler cabin Jim Nance just owns that thing. He made Nick Faldo cry, which was actually let's put the audio in there. It's a walk down there and reminisce.

Um, he's going to choke me up. That's exactly how you were when you won the green jacket in here. People want to see the side of it. I knew you wanted to do that to me. You rotters. Special memories. All time, I'm going to make you cry on live television and then just kind of outflow you.

He just gave him a handshake. He's like, yep, I knew you fucking knew you baby ass bitch. My worker is done. Yeah. Jim Nance is like a seal team six member with his interrogation skills. He should honestly be a member of the military and just like lock somebody in the Butler cabin with him and he will crack. He will make you crack within like five minutes and the terrorists will be crying

and saying how their dad taught them to build a suicide vest and where they're going with it. It was the Jerry Maguire rod tid well when he's just like, yeah, I knew you were going to make me cry. Nick Faldo just sitting there choking up, choking back the tears big time. Masters is a big time memory. Memory lane for everyone's like, gotta go down memory. They always just, hey, we don't, we don't want to show golf right this second.

Let's just show a masters from 1988. It couldn't, it didn't even have to be that important, but you can get someone to cry about it. Yeah. If you notice before, uh, before the coverage started, I think on Saturday, they had like two hours of Jim Nance just remembering things from the masters. And there's an hour, uh, just solely for Jack. Yeah.

There's always an hour for Jack and they're just like, Hey, here's Jack. One of my favorite parts after tiger one was Jim Nance saying, and I've gotten exclusive, uh, message from Jack Nicklaus, who says, great for golf. So happy to see the guy win again. This is amazing. And turns out it was just a tweet that Jack Nicklaus had sent out, right? That Jack Nicklaus didn't even send out his, like his grandson sent out because Jack Nicklaus was, was a bone fishing off the coast of Florida,

which tiger probably was like, Oh, that sounds pretty good to me. I think Jim Nance probably just has hit on his Twitter. He only follows Jack Nicklaus. So he just assumed that that was a text directly to him. Yes. Does Jim Nance even have Twitter? He might not even, he's got a burner. Yeah. Someone definitely said that. Hey, we got a personal text. Yeah. Yeah. He just opened his Twitter.

He's like, Oh, Jack's talking to me again. Damn, this is awesome. Um, I want to add a couple of things in about the broadcast. Vern, Vern amazing. The best. He is great. What do you think that he gets paid to do this anymore? Doesn't he just like shows up? Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Yeah. I love it.

It really is great to have him. And I know SEC fans don't love him because he got a little bit senile towards the end with football, but his voice and also I think it's also one of those things that it's knowing where the voice is coming from. It's coming from this just big round basketball of announcing that just makes it great. Like you can just see his rosy cheeks smiling as he as he announces tiger and on the 17th or whatever. Oh, yeah, very Uncle Vern would be the easiest guess who character to nail.

Yeah. If you're playing against him, it looks like all of them. Yeah, exactly. Like he's a mix of everybody. So a couple of notes about the broadcast. One, I don't think I root for the course anymore. The course got embarrassed. This is a bad weekend for the course. Yeah, a lot of low scores. I'm not a big Augusta is a different one.

Like I root for the U.S. Open course because it changes and the British Open. You also want to see how like the different courses add up, like was it as good as last year's course where they put in the pins? Oh, the USGA, they're really fucking with people. Augusta is just like, Hey, we're just going to, you know, have some birds near microphones. We're going to do some azaleas and pines and a couple, you know, some mulch, some really nice brown mulch and boom, you got a tournament.

It wouldn't surprise me if they actually like lavaliered, miked up some of the birds. Oh, I think they have. They put they pin microphones onto their little breasts. I honestly think they have microphones in the trees. Yeah, they do. Because some of those birds, like they're in your ear. Very loud. They're all the way in your loud birds. Another note that I have, I root for the cameraman now. OK, when you when you see a guy hit like a long second shot

and approach shot into a par four and the cameraman tracks the ball in the air as it's falling down, how the fuck does that happen? That's a sport. I also like when they lose it and they just go to the. All right, we fucked up. We lost it and they just zoom out. Yeah, you find it. It's it's so funny. There are two funny things that they do with the camera work there. One is if it's on the wrong spot on the green

and you see the ball land like 50 yards away. Yes. That's always good comedy. The other is when they show it landing on the green and then they do the world's slowest zoom out and you see that the ball, even though it's on the green, it's still like 70 yards away. Yeah, it turns out that was a really shitty shot. Nailed that shot. Yeah, he's he's still got to use a pitching ledge. The other new addition that they made this year,

I loved the scrolling leaderboard that they had that was like an app. You know, like it was like you were swiping up on your phone and it was scrolling up because for the only three hours a day that I'm not on my phone, I want to feel like I'm on my phone. Same with the masters.com, the leaderboard was on top and they made it look like Instagram stories. Yeah, they did. I wanted to click on them circles.

I kept on trying to click on it. Like, oh, I wonder what Tiger's doing right now. Tiger would have some awesome Instagram stories. The only good thing about the course is watching people like continuously fail on the 16th with the water. Oh. Oh, we had we speaking of of having it be like a vintage Sunday with with Tiger being back. Rick Riley also back when he fired off who spent more time in water.

Michael Phelps or Francesco Molinari. That was so close. Well, that's actually Michael Phelps always plays. Well, Rick, Michael Phelps is very, very fast. So he's you should have picked a bad swimmer. Yeah, that would have spent more time in the water. Or someone who drowns in and out. Yes, someone who famously drowned.

Catherine Wood, Napoleon Bonaparte, more time in water. Yeah. Bonaparte got drowned. No, I just he was on an island. So I assume I mean, usually when people go to islands, they probably try to swim off it and drown, right? Yeah, that's generally how it happens. You spent more time from the rock. Yeah, that's maybe maybe we don't know a polar bear

that's experiencing the effects of climate change. Yes. Or a Molinari. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's too cute. I don't like that. So yeah, it was it was awesome. I loved it. I also love the caddies wearing numbers. That's an underrated. Yes. The tradition. Yes. I looked it up.

Do you know why? Do you know how they give out the the numbers for the caddies? And they're a little painter out of them. Yeah, to keep track in case one tries to escape. No, so the defending champion, their caddy gets number one. OK, and then everybody else just gets theirs in the order by which players officially register to compete in the tournament.

Yeah, so it's just totally random. Get your paperwork in. That's why John Daly, his caddy was probably always like infinity. Sign up early. Yes. Yeah, just remember to sign up early. Can you imagine if you forgot to sign up for the Masters? Oh, that'd be embarrassing. Your caddy just like, whoops.

Yeah, I didn't realize it was coming. I was worried about tax day. I'm thinking about getting some recreational fusion surgery. Yeah, it seems to work. It's not a bad idea. Just fuse that that that's anything together. Yeah, any part of my body together. Maybe just get a metal rod somewhere.

Oh, fuse my two testicles together. Because why do you have two? They're on each side. They get in the way. Just a nice axle that just connects them. Yeah, I think that'd be nice. I think that plays. Yes. Let's see. We also. So we had Rick Riley back.

We had Phil hitting bombs. Phil is just I want Phil now to win another Masters. I don't think he will, which I guess I'm doing exactly what I just did with Tiger. We don't learn those. No chance will he compete again. But Phil being cocky and and like, I'm going to hit bombs. I'm going to do this. I feel like Ricky should be our next guy.

Ricky, I like Ricky. Yeah, he was a sneaky, great guest on this show. Ricky is the next guy who hasn't won one. I'm I'll be rooting for Ricky and every major from here on out. I think I think I agree with you, Hank. I like Ricky Fowler. Tiger finally wins a major from behind. Yeah, well, never done.

Not again, that's one of those things that the narrative had been out there for so long. I'm going to choose to ignore that it happened this. Yeah, that's true. We're going to keep going. Yeah, that's the. I'm that's my favorite. I've never gone to a final four.

Let's see what else. Well, we have a lot more with Scott Van Peltin. He actually gives us some real golf analysis. Should we talk quickly about the NBA playoffs that have begun as the number one Orlando Magic podcast on the Internet? We've decided that just from our four seconds of talking about the magic on Friday, I would say that we got the magic there.

When do you believe in magic? We do. We do. Absolutely. Do a quick, quick pop quiz. Can you name four players on the magic? Yeah, because I can't. DJ Augustine, Aaron Gordon. Yeah, mm hmm. Aaron Gordon was my one.

DJ Augustine. I just say that again. Yeah, that works. Yeah. Yeah, that's four. That's four names, four names that we just said. Alfred Payton, I think is on there. Oh, yeah, he's got great hair. Um, that's definitely his name is definitely not.

Do they still have pinstripes? They do. I like those jerseys. Yes, yes. Uh, yeah, I think. Oh, Michael Carter Williams, NCW's. He was getting heated. He almost fought a ref. Fuck, yes. Yes, OK, great.

I love it. You see that he like charged. He was like, he was like running at a ref to contest a call and the ref like flinched like he was about to get hit. He should have been allowed to hit him twice then. He's a classic guy like you just look at him. You're like, that guy should be awesome. And then you watch him play like it doesn't know how to play.

Rookie of the year, I think. Yeah, that's right. He, uh, so imagine being a Raptors fan and going all these years and having LeBron own you and then just being like, actually it's not that hard to do. DJ Augustine can also own you. Yeah, it's not a good look for Toronto at all. They'll win this series,

but it's good to have the magic get that one. The other big news is should we be worried about the process? I think we should. The Sixers look bad. They looked very, very bad. They were the final score was a lot closer than the game really was. It was. J-Butt doesn't look great. No, um, Joel Embiid, he went, what, like,

he's got a problem or something like that. Yeah, he's got knee problems. Yeah. And they don't have a guard that can shoot. J-Butt did score 36. He was the only one, but Ben Simmons is like, I don't even. I, the Sixers are, the process has now got no point where it's like all these pieces that should work together and it just doesn't feel like they do. I think J-Butt came in and screwed up the whole chemistry.

That's what I think. Simmons can't shoot. Yeah, that's so much easier to defend in the playoffs. In the playoffs, when you can actually game plan and be like, Hey, let's just not, let's just let that guy shoot. But he's big. He is. He's tall.

He's a very tall point guard. Yeah. So don't forget about that part. We called the Spurs Nuggets because the Spurs just never die. So they're not that, like the Nuggets are a better team, but they're young. And this is their first time in the playoffs in a while. And the Spurs are just like the, the funniest thing about the Spurs is they're going to do this and they don't have any of the Spurs anymore. Yeah.

Besides the Marcus Aldridge, they don't have Manu. They don't have Tony Parker. They don't. Yeah. They don't have Tim Duncan. Like they don't have Danny Green. They don't have any. They don't even have court.

They don't have court. They don't have any of the Spurs, these guys, but they're just pop. It's pop. It's pop in the jerseys. Working his magic in there. Also shout out to TJ McCollum. Finally avenge that tweet. CJ. Sorry, CJ McCollum.

Has he hey? Has he hey? CJ McCollum finally avenged that tweet. The what I'm trying was I'm trying Denise. Yes. When somebody told him, some woman tweeted at him and said, first win a playoff game. And then he tweeted that he was trying and he finally got it. It is good that the Blazers want to play off game after last year in the Pelicans

debacle, Yannis is an absolute monster. He's a problem. He's a huge problem. He's the best player in the NBA at this point. And they just demolished the pistons. Although Blake Griffin. So the so the Bucks won by like 30, 35. Blake Griffin easily scores 36 in that game.

Yep. So I'm not even counting that as a win for the Bucks. Agreed. Agreed. Sorry. Blake Griffin would have won that. And then your your man's kind of replayed pretty well. Yeah, I've actually come back off my take on Friday.

Oh, wait, which one the Masters take? No, that was I don't even know what you're talking about. That the Celtics were in trouble without Marcus Smart. I I remembered as I was watching the game that they had so many guards that, you know, there was like playing time problems. And now that they can all focus, get all the playing time they need, they're going to come together even more. PFT, how many points?

Yannis is a problem. Pacers score in the third quarter. I'm going to guess because it was low. I'm going to guess 18. Eight. Eight. Fuck. They scored eight points in the third quarter. Not great.

Twenty nine in the entire second half. That's not good. That's the Brad Stevens Bowl right there. That's not good. Also, don't thank me for my service, but my my TV was only playing Spanish. So I had to watch the whole game and wait. You can change that. I couldn't.

As you can wait. You just hit this. No, it was crazy. How much time did you put into trying to get English before you gave up? Halfway through the first quarter. Like 20 minutes. Cinco Manuto. Because every time I would change, like all the other channels were fine.

Only TNT. And then when it would go to the studio like half time, Charles and I were in English. It was it was I just gave up. I was like, whatever. It's Brad Stevens. Entramaniento para es trabajo. Negativo. Negativo.

Peso en Peso es trabajo de entramaniento. Si, si, si, si, si, si, si. All time sports weekend. So we had the NBA playoffs. We had Tiger and then we had the NHL playoffs going on. The Penguins are dead. Dead. It's time to ask the question.

Yeah. Did the Washington Capitals kill the Eastern Conference? It's fair. Not just the Penguins who, by the way, they haven't won a game in the playoffs since the caps beat them. True. Nor have the Tampa Bay Lightning. Down 3-0, which really hurts if you go with the strategy, the Lightning can't get swept.

So I'm going to bet on them every game. Turns out that's not working out for me right now. As we currently sit here, the best part about the next game, though, the Islanders, though, the Islanders are kicking the shit out of the Penguins. The fact that they have to go play in Brooklyn next series sucks. And I think I'd be against the Capitals, right? Yeah, it would be. Well, if the capital is when they're serious, which it looks like we're going to,

yeah, incredible. Do you have one of the best home ice advantages? And then you're like, no, let's go to fucking Williams. I want to go to Nassau. That's the name of the arena, right? NASA. The NASA arena, the colony. I want to go to the barn.

The old barn. I want to go to the old barn and set up in the parking lot there before the first game of that series and just see if there's anybody that accidentally drives to the barn instead of going into Brooklyn. There will be one. So I do give credit to the Penguins and to the Lightning. It's a smart move to not want to get embarrassed by the Capitals again. True.

So just getting the fuck out of the playoffs as early as possible. It's crazy. What about the teams they haven't beat? What do you mean? The Bruins? Yeah, so they don't know. They don't know any better. Yeah, they just it will happen.

It's called once bitten, twice shy. And the Bruins haven't been bounced from the playoffs by the Capitals in a while. So they don't know. They don't know what they don't know. They don't know what they don't know. That's actually put it on a court board. They don't know what they don't don't know. All right.

You want to do who's back? Let's do who's back. Hank, why don't you start my who's back? I did have Phil. He had probably probably one of the best. Oh, sorry. Like pregame social videos. Like a lot of times, you know, like teams will make their

players do it when they're in the locker room and no one like that. They're not enthusiastic. It doesn't come off enthusiastic. Phil did a video driving up to Augusta National, like a pregame video about how he's going to hit bombs. His club speed was faster than ever. He did like a point six. I didn't understand the joke.

The. So Kooch Koocher, when he he won a tournament, what was it like a month ago? And he was using like a fill in replacement caddy. And the I guess the custom is if you win, it's normal to tip your caddy 10% of what it is that you win in that purse. But since it was a replacement guy, they worked out a contract ahead of time saying he would get like a thousand bucks, like two grand. And then Kooch was not going to be shamed into paying his caddy that extra tip.

Right. So that was just an electric video all around. Yep. Need more of those going forward. Also, Ruff and Rowdy is big time back. Yes. So we're going it's Friday this Friday in West Virginia, place that I fought like Hillbilly back in a backwards armory.

But Ruff and Rowdy, like the Instagram account, just posted a promo clip and John Bond Jones. He said, is that John Bon Jovi's Led Zeppelin? John Bon Jones, whatever. OK, go. He said, I swear, I love interviews. UFC could learn a thing or two from you guys. Yes.

That was pretty crazy. I like it. It's a smart play by him because we might be the only fighting league that sanctions him in a couple of years. Yeah. I was going to say, if there's anybody that knows something about like promoting a fight, it's the guy that always gets his name in the news before a fight because he can't fight in it.

And what was even crazier is that Barstool posted a link to the blog and Tom Brady liked the link. Oh, wow, cool. You're here a. He doesn't run that accounting. Yeah. All the place you fought. Yeah.

That's true. You started this. It's basically a tribute to you. Yeah. John Jones is a huge handsome Hank fan. Oh, yeah. Tom Brady. Yeah.

OK. Those are my who's backs. And Tom Brady loves you. Great who's backs. That's great. That was actually very good. My first who's back of the week, you guys can probably guess. It's South Africa rugby.

OK. South Africa won. Nice. They won the cup. But bonus who's back of the week. Wait, we didn't win it? Bonus who's back of the week is USA rugby. Bonus who's back of the week is USA rugby.

Because again, missing two of our best players, we finished in fourth place. And we're still in first place in the entire world. So suck it. How many fourth places can we get to win the title? This is probably the last one that we can do. So cherish it, boys and girls, at home. Because we're three points up on Fiji.

This is the last fourth place that will keep us in first place. That's right. But that's fine because we have another month until the London 7th, the next tournament. We're going to get healthy. And then if we compete well in London, and there's only two left. So we could win the whole damn thing.

We actually could. Are you going to go to London? It's probably too close. I don't know. Did they have MDMA? It's probably not a long enough trip. Did they have ecstasy in London? So yeah, we're back in a big way.

Also, since we're still in first place, we've qualified for the Olympics already. Great. So that's great. Oh, there's Olympic rugby too? Oh, yeah. You better believe there's Olympic. When's the next Olympics?

I don't know. Probably never. When's the next Olympics? Because of climate change, as we addressed earlier. They should do the Olympics every year. What the fuck? Yeah. That's a good take.

I like that. I like that. Because no city wants it. Just do it in Vegas every year. Yeah. My other who's back of the week is Gum. Yes. So Tiger was chomping.

He was chomping at that gum. I don't know. I think it was dinty and ice. Yep. I could kind of tell from the he was giving it. So I've got some gum here. It's supposed to make you focus more. Yeah.

Well. The frontal cortex of your brain. Maybe. Vortex. Maybe Tiger was on MDMA. Yeah. Because I know that I needed some of this last weekend. You got one for me?

Oh, you're splitting. Was I was in the stands in Hong Kong? We got one piece left. What about Hank? All right. So let's see how much better this podcast gets while we chew gum. Hank, ask us a math question.

69. Got it. So Hank, do you have a serious math question? Do you think people enjoy this gum chewing? I think so. I mean, did you hear the interview that we had with who's at Christian Lanier? Is he chewing the gum?

Yeah, he was. Yeah. He was. Oh, man. Now he's on the left field. I like that. Hank Simon chewing gum and he's, you're getting a contact gum high to your frontal cortex.

Yeah. Is it cortex? Yeah. Your cerebral cortex. Your frontal lobe. Frontal lobe. That's the thing you take out when you want to get dumber. That's your lobotomy when you want to get real stupid.

How about that? How about people back in the day being like, hey, you know how we fix mental illness, take some of their brain out? Yeah. This guy's sad all the time. Let's just fucking cut his brain off. Let's just cut his brain off.

That will fix it. That's pretty cool. Then we'll put him in a fucking room with white walls for the rest of his life. They fill your brain with leeches. Yeah. This will fix it. Oh, man.

You know Jerry down the block? Yeah, he was always sad. So we just cut half his brain off. We cut the part of his brain that feels sadness off. Now he can't feel anything, but at least he's not sad. Jerry keeps saying weird shit, so we're going to take out the part of his brain that allows him to talk.

Hey, you idiot doctors, little did you know, all you need to do is give Jerry a piece of gum. I actually feel smarter right now. I do too. I'm locked in. But it's really hard to chew one half of a piece of orbits. Yeah. I'm losing it in here.

You know what it is though? I can't find it in my mouth. I think it takes your brain off something else, and it just doesn't allow you to get nervous. Wait, chew a little bit while you're talking. All right, there you go. It takes your brain off something else, and it makes you focus a little bit of your physicality

on the gum. Yeah. So it's like, what was it in Tin Cup where he was trying to cure the yips, and he made him turn his hat backwards? It's like, if you're doing something different, then that's one less thing. Focus on two things, like rubbing your belly in and patting your head.

Right, it's tough to do. So you can't, if you're Sergio Garcia, I would just load up with just a mouthful double bubble. Yeah, maybe, yeah. Get outside of your own head a little bit. Ooh, go to little watermelon bubble-licious, the goat. What about the gushing gum? Is that too much for a course?

Yeah, except those are like, you ever notice the juicy fruits and stuff? You get maybe three seconds. Yeah, and it's like, all right, there goes the taste. Tiger's been using gushers for a while. Remember Zebra Gum? That shit was fun. It was just fun to unpack it.

No, it's not Zebra Gum. What is that? So basically, it's fruit stripe gum. Fruit stripe, but it's Zebra Gum. It's the yummy fruit one. You sound like someone who doesn't chew a lot of gum. Don't call it Zebra Gum. I'm a big gum chewer.

I call it by its actual nomenclature. I respect for the brand. All right, that was our gum segment. OK. All right, my who's back. I got two. The first is Suckin' Titties. Suckin' Titties is officially back,

because Jay Cavallari saved a life. So the story is that Chris and Cavallari had clogged milk ducks, and Jay, my quarterback, had to suck on them harder than he's ever sucked. That's a direct quote. He sucked in some original games. Now, listen, people were making that joke. That's to be smarter, be smarter, just because he

sucked on Titties doesn't mean he sucked in football. But yeah, he's saved a life. Have you ever saved a life by suckin' on some titties? I'll never know. I probably have. You should probably try. Just start suckin' on every Tittie. First Mitch, now Jay.

No, Mitch kisses him. Oh, true, true, true. Kisses Titties, very, very, very different. Yeah, he just gives him a soft kiss. Can you have a clogged milk duck if you're not, if you're not pregnant? I probably have clogged milk ducks right now. Yeah, guys, you like to suck on my titties?

I probably got four of them. Yes, yes. All right, my other who's back is, actually, I'm going to do two more. Tai Lu. Tai Lu is back. We should mention it, because he is now a front runner to get run over by LeBron again.

That is, the Lakers are so funny. Genius move to not get rid of Rob Polinka. So when this fucks up, they can be like, oh, this is Rob Polinka's fault. Now we're starting. Yes, yes. Luke Walton already has a new job with Sacramento King. So shout out to Luke Walton.

And then my other who's back, similar segue from the Lakers, Magic Johnson's tweets. So if you remember, he quit. And part of the reason why he quit was he wanted to tweet. Well, guess what, guys? We've got a tweet. Here it goes. I've had a great Saturday watching the NBA playoff games.

The Nets shocked the Sixers, and the Magic did the same to the Raptors. Golden State played like champs today. There you go. Worth it. That was it. Absolutely worth it. Wade, I got one more.

A big, big congratulations to Tiger Woods for winning the Masters. The roar of Tiger is back. Magic is back. We are back. We're big Magic fans. Oh my god. It's so good that he's back.

Yeah. Because I was missing these kind of things. He is the king of saying nothing while saying everything. Just stating exactly what's going on, literally. He is basically the bottom line scroll. I want to see him live tweeting Game of Thrones. This dragon is big. Ooh, this dragon sure seems angry.

Wait, are they brother and sister? Why do brothers and sisters have sex? That seems unusual. Daenerys has very nice hair. It's bright. Yep. All right, I don't think Daenerys' hair is natural. Makes you think.

All right, let's get to our interview with Scott Van Pelt. Been a long time. Perfect guest to come on after the Masters. He was there. He knows Tiger. He's followed him. He's covered him his entire career. Before we get to Scott, quick word

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Okay, here he is, Scott Van Pelt. Okay, we now welcome on our very, very good friend. You can watch him every single night on SportsCenter. He is up for an Emmy, but most importantly, his claim to fame is that he gets to work with Stanford Steve every single day. It is Scott Van Pelt live from Augusta after Tiger Woods wins his fifth green jacket.

Scott, just start with that, just give us like a, holy shit, I can't believe this happened. That's what it was, man. Like, I mean, I don't know, that's it. That's, it was holy shit, I can't believe it happened. That's what it was for sure. I mean, look, I've started coming here in 97 when he was a kidney wand and obviously, you know,

a lot happened, but you know, 43 bald spot fused back. The kids waiting for him the whole bit and the fact that, and I don't know how like super golfy we want to be, but I will say like, it's worth saying this. There's a whole wave of guys that he created, right? The guys that look like Dustin Johnson and Brooks Kepke that are, that could be athletes in any sport, Tony Finau, and they all kind of wanted to be him.

And he beat all of them. Like the top eight of the top 15 in the world finished in the top 10. So all the best, we're playing their best. And when it's over, he wins. And I've never seen a scene here at Augusta like what that was after he won ever. It's always loud.

People are always excited. That was completely different. And I mean, yeah, I don't know. I wish I could give you a more sort of succinct answer. I wish I could give you a better answer, but it was what you said to start. It was that, and it was that kind of all day. Yeah, the crowd chanting Tiger after he won.

I don't think I've ever seen an Augusta crowd get that rowdy before, but yeah. Look, there's a certain decorum here. And you know, people call it golf church. And I'll buy that in the sense that when people come here, whether you're a believer or not, you act a certain way if you're in church. Well, people here largely keep it loud, but respectful.

They're auroras, but not like that. Not just like a game. Not like people chanting a dude's name. And it didn't stop. And it was just the look on his face. And his kid Charlie, his son with that grin and his hat on backwards. That's what he did this for.

So his kids could see and be that guy. And so the whole of it, man, all of it in totality was just insane. It's the coolest thing I've seen here. And I've been lucky enough to be here for a lot of years. So it's that. So you know, Tiger, you know him going way back. Actually, you called him.

He was a recurring guest here. He's been on the show. He's been on the show. So credit to us. I have his number, as you know. You guys actually, really, you guys broke the news. Our first ever visit. Did he be back in the future?

That's right. Yeah, we fixed him too. I'm going to take credit for that. Is this the happiest you've ever seen him? No question. No question. And again, it's framed through the eyes of his children. It's that.

And he's won a lot. And he won a lot. And it got to the point where it was just sort of expected. And it was, people enjoyed it, right? But it got to the point where it was just sort of like you shrug and go, all right, cool. There's another one, right? Well, all right, we saw this last time.

Well, it's been a long time. And the reaction from him, like that waiting for his son and then his mom and then hugging Sam and then his girlfriend as well, like just them. And then his agent who I've known Mark Steinberg forever. I mean, it's weird when you know people in a different way. And you've known him for as long as I've known him. I just, you see what those hugs, man.

They're lingering longer. So absolutely. It was absolutely beyond a shadow of a doubt, the happiest I've ever seen him. Like that moment on 18 that just didn't end was just joy. Absolute joy. And the thing is, look, I know there are people out there that aren't into it, but I don't know who they are.

Like they're a minority. Overwhelmingly, people just wanted to see this to feel something. And he makes people feel something different than any other person playing golf makes people feel. Yeah, absolutely. So I wanted to know, because you know Tiger so well and you've watched his whole entire career,

at what point did you see like old Tiger kind of flash up in Augusta on Sunday? Because I started to notice it like right around the turn when it was, it wasn't even his shots. It was like this kind of this walk he does and it's almost like intimidating. I take up your space, but I'm not, he's not pushing anyone.

He's not getting anyone's face, but it's like Francesco Molinari knows that Tiger is standing next to him. And like you can feel it. And that was like old Tiger. Agreed. It was like this Zen thing, like just slowing, slowing your walk down. Just everything is purposeful.

And he made that insane two putt on nine to head to the second nine, not the back nine, the second nine here at Augusta with it, you know, within a shot of Molinari. And now he needs some help. He needs Molinari to make a mistake. Molinari makes two huge ones. He makes a, you know, double on 12 and double on 15.

But I mean, it's Tiger just almost becoming that guy again. Right? It's almost like the guy who was sort of limping starts walking and then he kind of starts running. And then now it's like, all right, guess what? I'm gonna put this cape on and I'm getting ready to fly again. And then he did. And I completely agree that there was a definite feeling in, or I guess I should just, just his posture,

like the confidence of how he carried himself. And look, he's played here 86 competitive rounds. So he has the experience that the guys he was going up against just don't. And he's one of your four times. So like at some point Sunday, all of the scars on his body and all the time that's passed, like that's not what counts.

What counts is, and he used this term earlier this week, like mental roller decks, like he's got it and you don't. And he's gonna call on it. And he pulled off the shots. And he was surrounded by like Kepke and Johnson and all these guys. And they just, he was one better than all of them in the end of it.

With those guys rooting for him, I was wondering that because it was, there was that moment when he came off after he won and everyone was kind of hugging him. And those are his competitors. And those are the guys that he's going up against. Would you get the sense that the majority of the field was rooting for Tiger to have this moment, even though it takes money and green jackets

out of their pocket? I think so. I mean, I've never put it this way. I've never seen, I've never seen guys waiting eight or nine deep. I mean, I saw Zach Johnson. I saw Justin Thomas, Bubba. Yup.

Bernard Longers, there are, there's more. I'm from Ricky Fowler was in that group. Brooks Kepke, they kind of flipped the script because Tiger waited for Brooks at the PGA. And he lost by one this time. It's Brooks that comes to find him. And even Molanari in the interview is like, Hey, it's great to see Tiger playing well again.

And I'm thinking, well, yeah, cool. Except if you didn't hit in the water twice, it's your jacket. You know, I mean, That's a great spin zone by him. Yeah. He's the one guy that's going to walk away from this, the most gutted because if he doesn't make a couple mistakes,

then maybe it's him. But I disagree. I think he actually, he's the luckiest guy in the world because he had a kind of an all time choke job there, but no one will remember it because it's Tiger. Well, see, that's, that's that big time Jay kind of stuff right there. I hadn't even considered that.

I hadn't even, I hadn't even gone to that, that sort of part of the storyline. And that's actually makes a ton of sense because no one's going to be saying, Hey, nice job with the water balls. They're just going to say, thanks. We got to see Tiger with, but you're not going to see people waiting like that.

That are that like, they're like their faces. They're like little kids. And, and to a degree, like that this was the guy, right? Like these are the, these guys are, are the wave of golfers that Tiger gave birth to because they're the ones that watched him be Tiger back in the day. And now there is contemporaries,

which is obviously could only be in this sport. I agree with big cat because you don't remember that Justin Leonard won that British open. You remember that Van Develd took his shoes off and went in the water, right? If it was Tiger that won that. And you definitely don't remember that Justin Leonard won it because he didn't.

Yeah, exactly. That was a trick question you passed. You actually are good at this Scott. Good job. Who won that one? That was a different guy. Okay. See, there you go. I don't know who won it because it wasn't Tiger. How much credit are we giving to the gum chewing?

Ooh, good question. There's a lot of talk about the gum. A lot of talk about the gum. Like all of a sudden, all of a sudden Phil and Tiger show up and there's the gum and like, what kind of gum are we, what are we doing with the gum? Got to know what kind of gum that was. Yeah.

I don't know. There's people are curious about the gum. I mean, I don't think it was like, I don't think it was a bazooka or a double bubble. Like I didn't see a bubble blowing. I don't know, a lot of people talk about, Phil said something about cerebral cortex or something, which I don't know what, I don't buy that.

But there's a lot of talk about gum and what we were doing with the gum. I don't know, man. We're going to contribute to that narrative. We're going to start podcasting by chewing gum. Absolutely. It's great for radio. Yes, exactly. Like a serious golf question here.

What is the difference between Tiger now and Tiger 10, 12 years ago in terms of his actual game? That's interesting. Well, he can't overpower a golf course. Like he was the guy that hit it eight miles before and everybody else was just like, wow, look how far he hits it. Now, like today he said about Kepko,

he's stronger than me. He hits it further than me. He talked about Tony Fina and he's like, my God, that guy hits the ball a long way. He's not the longest dude out here. He doesn't overpower the golf course. But now, in the way a pitcher can become a guy that can get you out different ways,

like he's still playing powerful. He still hits it long enough. But now he's the guy that leans on his experience, I guess, and the wealth of his knowledge and the fact that, like he's again, he's still, he'll always be one of the best players in the world if he's healthy because that's just what his profile is, right? But he isn't, he's not doing it simply by overpowering.

Like in 97, he hit it over every bunker and they changed the course largely because he was the wave of guys that could make the course obsolete. So now it's a little less power and it's a little more figuring it out. But as I say, he's not like he's the shortest guy up the tee here.

It's just, to me, the experience is what really showed itself today more than anything else. I wanted to go back to Francesco Molinari one last time. I actually, it was incredible watching him in this last round because after every single shot, like the ball would basically just barely been hit and the crowd would just go, let's go Tiger and just scream about Tiger.

I've never seen that at Augusta, like you said earlier, like there's always decorum, but that felt very different. Yeah, well, I mean, back in the day, I mean, Seve by stairs hit a ball in the water and I mean, he was well regarded here. He was a master's champ, but when he hit it in the water it benefited Jack, like people are cheering, you know? Because Jack, same type of deal,

people act different now. It's, you don't, there's no other player that you hear that, you said it exactly right, because that's the cheer. It's let's go Tiger, right? How many times have you heard that? Buy a dollar for looks. If you had a dollar for every one of those,

you know, you'd have a stack, you'd have a stack of cash and it never stops and it's after every swing and it's interesting, man. I mean, he, is it the redemptive story? Is that what it is? Do we love that the most? Do we love the guy that was great and then it falls apart and now we get to cheer for him again?

Like is it that? I mean, it's all those things, I guess, but I mean, people point to the things that went wrong and I did an interview with a guy, it was a news interview. He's like, you know, all these scandals and this and that and how do you think, you know, people will forgive him? Like, did you see the end, you know? Were you watching?

Right. Forgive him, forgive him. I mean, every person here was rooting for him. At Eastlake, they would have picked him up on their shoulders and carried him to the green if they were allowed to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's nothing, no other person evokes that level of emotional connection in this sport.

And like Mollinari is a great player, but I mean, he's pretty blank, right? I mean, he's pretty, there's not a lot of air. Emotion and no gravy. He's got the unibrow, this sort of unibrow going. That gives him a little distinct, yeah. I'm not, I'm not going to make grooming is not, you know, I'm in no position to make fun of anybody in terms of anything.

So I'm going to rip the guy for that. But I mean, look, David, I don't know that if it were, it would have been interesting had it been, I don't know, Kepka. Or speak, yeah. Would they have been screaming tiger if it were Kepka? Yeah. Probably, like probably like they were all cheering for,

they were all cheering for tiger at the PGA last year. And, you know, and Kepka is an American guy that's certainly, you know, likable for all the reasons we like our athletes, big, good-looking guy, hits it a mile. I mean, people like him too. But look, no one was going to, no one was going to touch tiger in terms of being the crowd favorite today.

Nobody. Yeah, there was one point where I think Mollinari hit it into the bunker. He'd hit it off the tee into the bunker and the crowd cheered like at the top of their lungs. There was so safe for it. Yeah. You mentioned...

It's like the Shrug emoji, you know? But it's not you, it's just the other guys. Now we're rooting against you, we're just rooting for him. We're rooting for him so hard that it seems like we're rooting against him. Against you, yeah. Yeah, he looked scared. I noticed that after like the fourth or fifth hole,

he could just sense tiger next to him. And that was the cool part. Tiger Sunday being back where it's like, that was what tiger was in his heyday, where it was you could see the fear, and I'm not trying to bash on the guys he was playing with, but you could see the fear in his opponents and having that come back just even a little bit

and maybe that's just me projecting because I want it to be back. But I feel like it was there and it's like, oh man, this is the guy. To go back to your point, Scott, I think that a big part of why everybody was rooting for tiger was the nostalgia factor because it takes me back to, you know,

when I was 12 years old watching him, when that first masters to, you know, when I was in my late teens, early 20s watching him dominate. Like it's very cool to see him in just anywhere around the discussion of winning a tournament on any Sunday. It's awesome. But at Augusta, it's like a little something special

that like takes me right back to where I was back then. And it's very cool to see. The other thing that I think people are rooting for is that he's kind of come out of his shell a lot in the last, you know, few years since he's been humbled. So this is like almost a new tiger that is, that's like very likable. Well, the thing that, the thing I talked to him about

after the PGA, as it was in St. Louis at Bellevue, there was that bridge that went over the people on 18. And there were like 20,000 people there. And when he walked across, he did something that he typically doesn't do. He just stopped. It doesn't sound like much, but trust me, it's different. He stopped and he just waved to one side of the bridge

and he waved to the other side and said, thank you. And it was like, for so many years, fellas, like he kept his eyes to the ground and he wouldn't let people in. And now he's way more just accepting of and thankful for this level of support and love he's got and he's participating in it. And so I agreed that it's different

and I agree that it's nostalgia. And I think for people like you and a younger audience who grew up on him, this is their Jack in 86 moment where the guy that's in his 40s wins again and people are moved in that way. And again, he's the only one that can do that because he connects you to that time. And that's, again, when I was asked earlier this week

by someone, why is he the guy that does that? I said, because not many athletes make us feel. Like we like to watch and we like to enjoy sports because sports are fun, or at least it's supposed to be. But not a lot of people make you feel. And a guy that takes you to a different time in your life makes you feel things and then you can look at it differently. And so like, look, I'm not gonna lie to you,

watching him hug his kids today as a guy who lost his dad who now has kids and understanding the role they play in your life and being able to share your life with them. And in his case, this success, I mean, that to me is moving, and so I like to feel. And that made a lot of people, I think, feel something that, again, is unique to him.

I don't know who else could do that. He also, I mean, the son thing, watching his son walk up with that smile behind him was just an all-time moment, all-time moment. The other thing Tiger does is he transcends takes. I was very wrong about Tiger. I said he never won another championship. You know, he never won another major.

He never won another master. Masters. Quarterly got ahead of it. I give him credit. He was very proactive getting out ahead of it, wanted to be the first to say he was wrong. Well, he left. He left the live stream, so he kind of cowered.

Like, literally, as he's walking up 18th, he did a fake phone call and walked out of the live stream and just left. But I was wrong about Tiger, and that's not saying I was ever rooting against him. I just was being honest. I did not think he'd be back in this spot. And then I'm sitting there on Sunday,

and you know how we are like now. It's if your team can't win, you want your take to be right. And I wanted my take to be wrong. I've been getting dragged online. I don't care because it was that cool to watch him be back. So he transcends takes, which is very hard to do. Very hard to do. Yeah, well, I don't know.

A lot of people said he was done, but I don't know anybody that won. I shouldn't say I don't know anybody because there's people that are all- Yeah, there are people. He's busy. And that's fine. You don't have to root for him.

But I don't know who else there is in sports, again, that can connect people to this level of investment. And so people like you that were saying he was done and wouldn't win again, and well, you weren't saying that because you wanted him to be done. I think your eyes were telling you, and your brain was telling you

that a guy with a fused back at this stage of the game probably won't. And for the longest time, I thought he'd catch Jack and thought he'd pass him. And then in years past, as I've been asked, do you think he'll win another major for a longest time? I said, yeah, I did. And then in the last year or so, as he played better,

I thought, well, maybe he will. But I mean, if you asked me to put my money on one or the other, I don't know that I had to put money on, yes. Or that it would happen here, just because here, so many other guys like we saw today are gonna have chances every year because they're able to play it so well.

But I mean, aren't you happy or wrong? Yeah, well, you know who was very wrong? Your boy, Stanford Steve. He bet, we were sitting in Minnesota at the Final Four Eating Wings, and he showed me the bet, and it was the all-time party pooper bet. It was, Tiger will not win a major this year.

I was like, why would you do that? He's like, I don't care if I lose this. I just think it, and I don't care if I lose it. He actually was very honest. He's like, I would happily lose this bet to watch him win a major so he was open about it. He was emotionally hedging. But I was like, why would you do that?

How much was the payout on that? It wasn't very good. But yeah, so there's one person. Well, we'll have to, I'll heckle him. But you guys know him. He's the ultimate, he loves moments. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

Where great things happen. He loves bowling, he loves wings. Yeah. It sounds like all, did you beat him in bowling? Is he like the kind of guy that can be like a... He didn't bowl. What do you mean he didn't bowl? He just watched.

Was he like, they don't have shoes in my size? He seems like a guy who'd be afraid of the shoes. He was, I don't know. We just, he didn't want to get into bowling. All right, listen. Who the hell doesn't bowl? Listen, when Steve says he doesn't want to do something, he was a great, you know who he was?

He was the glue guy that was sitting behind everyone that was talking up the party. So it was like, he would talk to everyone after they finished their frame. So you need that, you need that. All right, yeah, it's fair. And also he's a big enough guy that like, if he tells you he's not doing it,

you're not gonna make Stanford Steve slap on clown shoes and start chucking a bowling ball. I also say this about bowling. It's one of those sports where if you're not good at it, you should just not do it. Because there's no upside, there's absolutely no upside to bowling if you're bad at bowling. How sore were you the day after?

Oh my God, I woke up at four in the morning and I thought I was never gonna be able to walk again. My back was on fire. On fire. Probably what Tiger's gonna feel like tomorrow. My fused back. And then we're flying when you, the day after bowling, if you're not a bowler,

stuff hurts and you're like, Jesus, how out of shape am I? Like they would bowl a couple games. Yes, well, I dominated. All right, so I have one last question. It's a Seakeak question, promo code take, you get $10 off Seakeak Purchase. The most important question I'm gonna ask you,

is it time for Tiger to come home? I told him when he was on with me, when was this now? It would have been two falls ago when he had the book out about the masters, that I did at the masters. Which by the way, if you want the audio book, I read it, no big deal.

I told him when he came up, I told him, I'm not getting nothing out of it, I just thought it was kinda cool that he asked me to do it. When he came on the show, the last thing I said to him is it's time, I said, when are you gonna come home? And I just kept telling him I was his GPS. And he's explained to me through the years

that because of the tan line situation, that if he shaved his head, his head would look ridiculous. Because it would have just that horrible tan like, if you've seen Stuart Sink's bald-headed when he takes his hat off, like Tiger said it would just be an absolute disaster. But I mean, when we see young Tiger,

young 21-year-old Tiger in that sweet lettuce, and then he kicks it off now, and you're like, wow, man. What is going on with your wig? What are you doing with your wig? I kinda like it though, I hope he grows it out on the sides. I hope he leans into how bad the,

you know what though? He should let him keep the hat on in the Butler cabin, it was so rude to make him have that hat off. Man, there's the customs here, dictated that the hat comes off. And I mean, you see though, like bald guys, and when I was losing it badly, like if you have a hat on,

and you are forced to take it off, as soon as he can smack that thing back on his head, it's on the head, right? Like NFL quarterbacks, that like the minute they come off their thing here, they take their helmet off, boo, hat goes on the head. Yeah, you could say his name.

His name is Blake Bortles. He's a good friend of mine. His name is Blake Bortles. He literally doesn't have, like you can't actually see the second that his helmet comes off and hat goes off. Of course not. When they had the-

That's next level. That's next level bald guy behavior. They're the helmets that went from black to gold. Yeah. Yeah. So of course it has to happen, but I think because of the, again, because of the golf tan line situation,

that he's gonna hang on with both hands. But I mean, we can see, like again, I mean, this is the end game isn't pretty, but every guy has to do it in his own time. Did you see Cron Butler? You probably were too busy, but did you see Cron Butler on Saturday night? Okay, this is kind of,

this is a little bit of Nate, like, I mean, not Nate, drop, he's a peer, he's a friend. We work together. I got a text from him today about Tiger and all I thought of is how do I ask him what happened? And I couldn't do it. I didn't know what to say. Like, how do I ask?

What is that? Oh man. What happened? What is it? Carlos Boozer should have taught the world. You can't show up and, you know, only Erlacker was able to do it and he did it because it was a promo where he was like,

hey, this doctor changed my life. If you're trying to sneak one past people. It was like a crayon. Like he got edged up and there was like some shoe polish or whatever the explanation was, but Cron like had waves and height and what is it? It was a whole thing. Yeah, with Erlacker, at least it was like,

it was patently ridiculous because he was known for being just a bald guy. And then he just shows up with a full head of the lens. You can't sneak it past people. If you do it, you gotta say this is what I'm doing. When you try to pull one past the internet, it's like people catch on pretty quick. Jason went and even went back.

Yeah. Like a literal heads up, right? Like, hey, listen, here's what I'm gonna do. Just watch y'all to know this is happening. And boom, and then you show up. Like people are like, oh, wow, it looks good. But you can't just kind of show up like, hey, so what's going on?

Are we doing the playoffs tonight? I hope he grows down on the sides. I think it would look amazing if Tiger grew it out on the sides like really long. I'm talking like shoulder length. Like crusty to clown, like really, really puffy. Yeah, it'd be amazing. Imagine that, imagine that.

I have one last question for you. You're probably the most qualified person to answer this in the world. What do you think is Tiger's biggest victory to date? Is it this master's or when he won 2007's Who's Now Tournament on ESPN? So I mean, Who's Now is I think one of the, when you talk about the great accomplishments

that have ever been in history and recorded human history, I think. There's that, there's the invention of the internet. And I guess Game of Thrones, which Big Cat evidently was binge watching it and didn't tell anybody about it. Well, hold on. I thought we were brothers and arms on that and apparently not.

I've told you this story, Scott. I'm pretty sure I've told you this story, but I don't know if I've told PFT this story. The first time that I ever met Scott Van Pelt long before I was Big Cat was in 2007 in Madison, Wisconsin. I think it was Wando's and I was that shithead who walked up to Scott and I was like, hey, Scott, Who's Now sucks?

And he was like, he was like, all right, cool, man. Thanks. That was our first ever encounter. Was that a jerk? Was that a jerk? No, you were pretty good about it. You were not a jerk about it, but like I was the asshole, like just coming up and being like,

hey buddy, Who's Now sucks? And it's like, what? It wasn't my idea. And I just say that it wasn't my favorite thing we've done. So I guess I'll leave it at that. And also Paul Laury's the guy that won that year at the John Van Develd hit in the water. And I would have said his name at the time,

but I didn't remember it until literally just now, just dawned on me that he won. He was definitely in that playoff though, right? Oh yeah, no, he was. You've got a good memory for who was in the playoff, but it was a different dude that won. Okay, all right. That's really neither here nor there.

That's fine. People get freaked out if I got a obscure golf stat right on this show anyways. They'll be very off brand for me. Yes. It is. It would have been, but you didn't. And there you go.

So you're right on brand. Perfect. All right, Scott. Thanks as always. Great to talk. And make sure you tell Stanford Steve that that Tiger will not win a major 2019. I'm going to immediately hack limits after I hang up.

And I want to say thanks for having me on. It's been too long and you should know. Still to this day, anywhere I go, it's 50-50 that the person will come up and say, hey, Scott, I enjoy your show. Or, hey, Scott, love you on part of my tech. Perfect. It's a 50-50 ratio, which is amazing considering

that we do the show on ESPN nightly. And my visits here are fairly sporadic, but I always appreciate you reaching out and have me on. And then what about the like 5% there? Like, hey, Scott, Peter North. That didn't come up much, because that was pixelated out. That reaction, every time I see it, because I remember, I just felt Jesus Christ.

And I remember they didn't make our show, which was sad, because it was special. That was the one. Our show, yeah. Very special, very special. And you know what, since it was only one, it will always be our show. That's true.

That's absolutely true. You're a co-host on it. That's probably on your IMDB page right now. Absolutely. Right underneath SportsCity. You were on Bustleventile. Wasn't responsible for who's now. Yeah, wasn't responsible for who's now.

Did the audiobook for Tiger. No big deal. Yep. No big deal. All right, thanks, Scott. All right, boys, be well. That interview with Scott Van Pelt was brought to you guys by CBDMD.

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Okay, let's get to some segments. First up, we have this league for the Philadelphia 76ers and Amir Johnson going on his phone during the game while they're getting beaten by the Nets in game one of the playoffs, round one. And it's a this league. This league, guys.

This league, checking his phone during the game. It's back, bad visual. Perfect booties. Actually, he did say that his daughter was sick, so it kind of made it like, oh. Can you wait for that until like I get these jokes off? Yeah, we need to get a couple jokes off about the fact that NBA players

check their phones on the sidelines. So if they had the same rules as Augusta National, this never would have happened. Just confiscate all the phones. True, true. True, true. Could you see what site he was on? Yeah, it was Brazzers.

Brazzers, okay. That's what I figured. He actually pays for the premium membership. You should be allowed to look at porn on the sidelines of an NBA game. If you're not in. Get all horned up. Yeah, you get horned up.

You get that testosterone going. Did you guys see what Dream On said about it? Yeah, he said, no big deal. You go on your phone at work. True. Fact. That is a, checkmate. I do.

I do. We all do. I do a lot of stuff at work that I not, I wouldn't necessarily, yeah, it wouldn't be a great idea for like, for Draymond Green to like bring a laptop out with him to the free throw line. Does that mean we can kick people in the nuts at work?

Yeah. You do it at your work. Yeah, you do at your work, Dre. Yeah. Can you just cuss at people and call them little bitches all the time? He started getting salary shamed after that. They're like, yeah, but the difference is

I don't get paid a million bucks a game. Oh, so the more you, the more money you make, the less you should look at your phones. Yes, correct. Actually, you know what? Cliff Kingsbury was right. Looks like the NFL is a step ahead of the NBA,

allowing their players to take cell phone breaks. Yep. So this is on the Sixers coaching staff for not allowing these breaks during games. It's crazy that people think that like players don't check their phones during half time and stuff. Like, of course they do. Of course they do.

Baker Mayfield, probably. You sit there. Wait, had they declared that they were going zero dark 30? Because if they haven't declared it, then I don't see a problem with it. True. I don't think anyone's gone zero dark 30.

Yeah. So as far as I'm concerned, from the playoffs. As far as I'm concerned, it's just open season. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. He decided to go dark on the playoffs altogether.

I like it. The most zero dark 30 he's ever been. We have a who cares? It's Louisiana. It's Louisiana. Who cares? We'll wait his back. Thank God.

Just slipped it. So perfect because like from the beginning of the story, like who the fuck cares? And then they made a whole thing about it where they didn't have them coaching the tournament. Then they waited for Tiger to win and Game of Thrones to come back to like slowly slide it and be like, oh yeah, he's a coach again.

Dude, all he did, all he's guilty of is making a strong ass offer. Right. And that's fine. Right. Yeah. I mean, I respect him for saying it. Sean Miller still has a job.

Sean Miller has a job. Rick Petino is going to get another job if we work harder. Yeah. We are working. So he wasn't Cincinnati. He was. He was.

So that was accurate. That's actually where we didn't see the guy's face. Yeah. That was Rick Petino. That was actually Rick Petino, but it doesn't look like he's taking that job. Got it. But yeah.

Good for LSU. Fuck it. Who cares? Who cares? Perfect news dump timing. The only way it would have been better is if it was right as Tiger was hitting his last putt. Yes.

That would have been pretty awesome. Yeah. Well, they probably got screwed up by the time change. Yeah. If there's anything that Louisiana knows, it's how to bury some bad news. Yeah. Just throw it out there on the biggest Sunday of the year.

All right. Hot in the streets. What do you have? You have something for us. Yeah. So this is a new trend that I've noticed recently. Siebs? Oh.

No, Siebs is still going on. Siebs? Siebs is big. Oh, by the way, shout out to everyone who went to Coachella. I always almost say Coachella. Looked awesome. They should look in Fuego. Those fucking porta-potties.

You're on Personal Firefest. Yeah, it was awesome. Yeah. My hot in the streets is saying that you want an attractive person to kill you. That's like real hot on Twitter these days. That's kind of bizarre. Yeah.

If somebody's like really good looking, you say, oh, I want, like, name a hot person on Twitter real quick. PFT Comptor, you would say, thanks for suggesting that. Oh, my god. I want PFT Comptor to run me over in his car. Probably can't reach my head, though. No, but I'm in a car.

Oh. I'm in a tall car. Oh, you're in a car. You're very tall. Like a big wheel? Very tall car. You got a tricycle? I got two.

I got power wheels. You actually know how to ride a bike now? I got horses in the back, but they're all a little Sebastian. So people are actually saying this? Yeah, it's very common. Yeah, just if you think somebody's exceptionally attractive. I don't know what part of Twitter you're on. Say, oh, man, I want this girl to shoot me in the head.

Like, it's a nice way of saying that she's so attractive that she could do whatever she wants to. OK. It's out there. Trust me, it's out there. Can I ask a question to the young bucks on the show, Bubby and Hank? Is Coachella like over?

It kind of feels like it's not that cool anymore. I think it's still going. It is? All right. I'm not. This is the first year. Childish Gambino air-dropped everyone that was in the crowd. I saw that.

I think that's a pretty trendy move. This is trendy. This is a first year. Wait, what do you air-drop him? Shoes. Everyone that was in the crowd that had their air-drop open to the public, which is a psycho move. He air-dropped them and was like,

picture of shoes. And it's like a voucher. You get a free voucher for these shoes. Oh, that's pretty certain. But the shoes are white shoes that are purposely made to look shitty. Oh, so what's such a bad gift? What did we get free shoes for again?

What did we do when Erica gave us free shoes? Oh, no, no. She gave us free shoes just as a thank you. Oh, yeah. So I got Jordan's one. Would you do anything big? Existed for three years. Oh, yeah.

That's right. It's a three-year birthday. She sent us on her for the bucks. We got some shoes. I still haven't used those. Fuck, I need to buy some shoes. So, Bobby, you think Coachella? That was nothing like the, by the way.

Next year, by the way, we should, yeah. Well, it was kind of not. I was very thankful for the shoes. Next year, we sent Liam to Coachella with GoPro Strap Tone. OK, I like that. Actually, I'm going to cancel that because you were way too excited for it. It seems like a boondoggle.

It seems like you just wanted to go hang out. You failed that test. You're such a millennial. Let's just give it to a dog. Let's just send a dog to Coachella. Yeah. That would actually be a great idea. Yeah, we should do that with a GoPro on it

and just see how many pets he gets. See how many pets he gets. And we don't even need to give him food because they'll just feed him like scraps. That actually. He'll be the festival dog. That's the future of Coachella. Like, eventually, they're going to run out

of all the hottest new musical acts. And they're just going to put a dog on stage and be like, free boobs. Just the best doggo. Yeah. That would be awesome. They're bringing the internet to Coachella. To see the lineup of performing acts.

And it's like, Rex. Yeah. It's Fido. Fiskets. It's Fido with a free buffet of bacon. Wizard. It's awesome. They're still like three more weeks of Coachella, too.

Oh, so that's where my anxiety, because that's exactly right, Hank. This is the first year I've been like, you know what, I'm not intimidated by these young people. Once it goes on for the third week, I'm like, wait, it's still fucking going on? Kanye Sunday service at Coachella. You'll be scared shitless.

Oh, yeah, we'll be very intimate. Once Cam Newton shows up to Coachella, that's when I fall out. And a couple of geners, you need at least one gen. I can't keep track of all the geners, though. Kylie's got to come and have her new booties got to pop in some jean shorts, the hottest new trend. And then she burns them after everyone buys

the new jean shorts. It's like, trend over. Was it Kylie that ended racism when she gave up Pepsi to the condo? Kendall, that was Kendall. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Which one do you pick?

All right, let's wrap up. We're going to do, instead of Monday reading for the next few weeks, we're going to do Game of Thrones recap because it's the hottest show. Huge, finally. Spoilers are going on right now. So if you do not want to be spoiled, do not listen to the rest of the show.

We'll play, let's play like 30 seconds of music. So if you're here in the music or 20 seconds. Dragon music. Put in the dragon music. Mixed with, it's Louisiana who cares. As soon as the dragon music's over, we're going to spoil. We're going to do spoilers. I have binged it all.

Some folks hate corruptions. Some folks hate folks for breaking the law. Some folks have a problem the way we recruit basketball. Me, I don't mind it. Down in the bayou, all is fair. Who cares, it's Louisiana. It's Louisiana who cares. I have not said a word because I was going to say it.

I have not said a word because I was scared it was going to get spoiled. Hank, thank you for not spoiling it. You're welcome. I did, I did have to. I knew I had to because it was like silently kind of pissing me off because you told me behind the scenes that you're not watching it. So I felt bad because if it was on the show, I probably would have. Yeah.

But internally, I was like, I have to do something. So to find my Game of Thrones. The Florida Man spoilers. I did give you some spoilers. I didn't know that. Yeah. Yeah. The crossbow on the toilet.

Yeah. That was one of them. That was Peter Dinklage killed somebody. Oh, that was a spoiler. Yeah. Big time. Where the fuck are my Game of Thrones notes? I have a couple of questions.

So this is the first episode I've ever watched. Shoot. Big Cat watched every. Well, no, that's not true. I watched the first like I've watched the first two episodes back in 2011, something like that. OK. So this is my first one.

My my my first question is there are tons of fires that are just burning everywhere. Yeah. Who's in charge of like switching out the firewood and the oil. Always. Yeah, there's no lights. And it's also there's like a like kind of like the fake birds in Augusta. There's always crackling fires. Yeah.

As like the background. You never see anybody changing the fire. Yeah. I guess that'd be a very boring part of the show to show. Oh, there's some. Yeah. I think I answered my question. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. So Hank, I wrote notes down. We'll do a recap of the first episode of season eight to quickly catch up. I wrote some notes down as we went along as I was watching them. I'll just shoot some off here. Rob Stark was is my favorite. I wrote that down and then I just said whoops, because that was a red wedding.

So I was like, this guy's really going to win it all. Red wedding was when that lady got stabbed in her uterus. Yeah, and her tum tum. Yeah, they just changed that Dario guy. That fucked me up. That'll be a good. That was they just used it for like, I had to look that up after I watch a show. They like changed a character, the actor, but it was completely different looking guy.

It was like they and Viv. But like totally different looking. Even that was a little bit closer than what they changed this one. I was like, what? Who is this? Never addressed it to the person. There's like a blonde hair Fabio looking guy. More like a brown hair, like look completely different, completely different,

completely different. The narcos guy was awesome. Oberyn, yeah, he fucked. He was bisexual and he was also like the best with a spear until he got too cocky. Yeah. And then he got his eyes gouged out. It seems to me like incest shouldn't be a big deal in this show because no, it's not for such like a small community of characters.

Big come up for the state of Alabama because it's normalized everything. Yeah, everyone's fucking everyone's sister. It's just like whatever. It shouldn't be so stigmatized. It's weird because at first when I started watching it, I was like, this is gross. Cersei and Tyra Jamie are fucking all the time. And then like Cersei just blows him.

I'm like, oh, whatever. Yeah, their boyfriend, girlfriend, they fucked on their son's dead body. Oh, yeah, that's right. That's like that shake that bear video. Remember, I didn't hate Joffrey. That's crazy. Yeah, he made me laugh because he was so like he was so annoying. Yeah, he was so.

I hated Ramsay. Ramsay was a psycho. But Joffrey, he was so hateable, but in like a funny way because he was such a little twat. I just wanted to slap him. Speaking of Oberyn, which episode ending like left you the most shook? Oberyn was up there. Jon Snow dying was up there.

But then I don't know how people watch this show like alive because Jon Snow was dead for five hours for me. He was dead for like two years. Yeah, that was at the end of the season, right? Yes, yes. The Hound is one of my favorites. I also finally, the Hound was the first guy I realized if you don't watch someone die in front of your face, they're not dead.

Yep. Those like, OK, that's how this goes. Yeah, everyone in the show is either dying or murdering somebody. That's the best way I can describe it. Do you think you think he's going to fight the mountain? Yes, I thought the mountain was dead. Who do you think is going to win? Hound. Wait, the mountain is not dead.

The mountain is dead. No, they remade him as like a Frankenstein. Oh, OK. The the maester made him like he's real fucked up. Like the Night King brings people back from the dead. And then like the maester has like an evil scientist that he's like a doctor. I like the Night King. You should I root for him?

Is he good person for him? He's pretty, pretty bad ass, dude. No one really knows what he wants. He's always he's not cold, right? What if you just want someone to talk to him? If he talks, I might imagine if it was just like someone would be like, hey, Night King, how was your day? How was your Wednesday?

He's just like, thankfully, someone finally asked me this. I've been up in this north, freezing my ass off and no one's been talking to me. They're dead people. So they're like the NFC north, right? Because they they're in the cold all the time, but they pretend that they're not cold. Yes, they're yeah, the whole north, like the Starks, the Wildlings, the night, the army of the dead, they're all basically offensive alignment on like the bears in the pack.

I love it. And then that Dothraki guy that looks like Steven Adams, he seemed cool, but yeah, but he died. Died Cal Drago. Yeah, big time dead. Fuck, Stannis Baratheon. That guy sucks. I liked him a lot up until oh, you liked when he burned his daughter up until his 12 year old daughter.

I was put no more blood season two. Basically, he killed. Oh, you liked him when he when he is in two season three, three or four. Yeah, that was cool. That was bad ass. That's what he's not ruthless. He's ruthless, but that's like Belichick. Shit. He's got the blood. Get rid of your daughter one season two soon and one season two later.

The daughter shit was fucked up. The blood magic was amazing. The the other part about Stannis Baratheon, the red one was a smoke. Never trust a chick who's like dedicated to always wearing a choker. That's a big red flag. But it takes it off and she becomes like a 90 year old old lady from like the the woman from it's basically happy Gilmore's grandmother out of nowhere.

She's like hot and then she takes off her choker. She's old. I think I'm old. I'm like a mack turtle neck for chicks. The high sparrow dude is the worst. The worst. That guy thinks he's so much better than everyone and he talks in like riddles and rhymes and fuck him. I'm happy. It's a terrible name.

OK, here's my other hot take. I love Cersei. I love her. When she choose when she the one of the best lines when when they're like, what was the question? Do you choose this or this? And I choose violence. I choose violence and then she blows up everyone in the city. The many face God is like T1000 when she's running after Arya.

What a little girl. Is that like the calculator? No, no, T1000 is the guy from from Terminator, dude. The TI 83 that the cop that runs really fast and he just keeps running and it's like what the fuck is going on? You're thinking of drug wars. Yeah. I haven't seen Terminator. I don't like how Ramsey Bolton treated his dogs. Didn't feed him.

That's not cool. He did feed them. Well, but he didn't feed him for a while. Yeah, he would starve him and then and then give him humans. What's the deal with the dragon? There's one dragon that went rogue, right? Well, he died. Oh, five. How did you kill a dragon? The Night King. The Night King. Oh, he speared him. That was when he threw the spear on Twitter that night.

They should never have Game of Thrones on at the same time as NFL Sunday. Yeah, it's too confusing with the crossover tweets. Yes, I didn't understand why they didn't just take one of the dragons. They just burned that Night King alive. I feel like the whole show could have just ended. That episode was tough. The other thing with Ramsey that kind of pissed me off on the rewatch was that remember when they walk in with the giant and Ramsey kills the giant?

Like he could have just killed Jon Snow right there. Yeah, he was kind of like a little bit of that every now and then. I do love the show. The my last two points, little finger whisper talking. So annoying. Fuck that. Talk with your chest. Talk like a man. Mr. Big Chest. Stephen A. Smith would would slap him around in a debate.

I think Stephen A. Smith would beat a dragon. Yes, in a debate. No, just it's fire. Just in real life. I think he could defeat a dragon. They said they said in this episode, the dragons eat whatever they want. So they have very bad nutrition. They're like Albert Haynes worth or just overweight all the time.

But dragons got a little bit of a booty. Stephen A. Smith might get lost, get lost in that sauce. Speaking of that, are they going to have any dragon sex scenes? That would be cool. That would that would be a double whammy because it would be dragon sex and incest because they're related, right? Yes, they have to brother. Just giving it their 69 and just burning each other's genitals.

Yes, my last question or thing that I wanted to talk about was what's up with everyone getting their dick cut off and how do they pee? That's a good question. Like half the people have their dicks cut off. And I just I assume for a while that they were just being castrated, their nuts were getting cut off. But they lewd to like these guys are dickless. And it's like, is there just a hole that they just pee out of?

And then Grey Worm had sex, but did he? No, he's scissored. Yeah, because he's got a hole. Yeah, he's got no dick. But you can't get an army of just dickless guys. The Unix, right? Unsullied or just they just know not one dick in that entire arm. I feel like your body just resorbs the urine that it can't that it can't piss

out or someone to answer that. You become where do they pee? You become like Mel Kuiper with you just one hole. Just pumpkin pie out of the same pumpkin pie for the whole army. I got a fun tip about Mel Kuiper. Yeah. Over the weekend, it was from a guy that used to work in a grocery store in Mel Kuiper's town and he said every week Mel Kuiper would come in

and he'd buy 12 cans of whipped cream. And we had no idea what the hell he was doing with the pumpkin pie. He was it was for all the pumpkin pie he was eating. And the whipped cream bikini that he put on his wife. Yes, that. And he uses it as as moose for his hair, too. Yes, exactly. All right. This episode will wrap up.

I was underwhelmed. They had to like bring everyone back together. Bran is the creepiest dude in the world. He just fucking rolls around in the winter. Also, Jamie Lannister, seeing Bran was fucking awesome. He was like, so the whole you saw episode one, how it all starts. Jamie Lannister throws Bran off the fucking tower. He was fucking his sister's fucking sister.

And that was the first time they saw each other. Oh, that's what it was. And he was like, oh, fuck, that kid's still alive. That was a real creep, that kid. Yes, he just like he just rolls around just like staring at people. He just puts his fucking eyelids back and he just sees everything. Kind of like the fire, though. They don't they don't show anyone wheeling him.

Like he just he just shows up. Well, he's got hands so he can wheel himself, right? I don't know if the the wheelchairs are that. I mean, there's stairs. It looks like a pretty sweet model. Yeah, he's a weird dude. He's a weird dude. And then, yes, Jon Snow was totally fine.

Like he got the news that he's actually fucking his aunt. And he was like, I don't want to be the king. It's like, yeah, but dude, you're fucking your aunt. Yeah, then you just didn't care. Yeah. I mean, listen, this day and age, why would you? It's all over the front page of Pornhub, anyways. It's true. It's true. So, yeah, that's Game of Thrones.

Any other thoughts, Hank? I love the show. I really do. I knew I'd love it. I'm going to be sad that it's when it's over. I'm happy that I watched it this quickly, because I do not understand how people have watched a show for 10 years. I thought it was a good episode. I was pumped to see Jon and the Dragon,

although I was hoping that they were going to like, you know how, like there's the Targaryen music and there's the Stark music, like what they play during their best moments. I was hoping they were going to blend those two for like an epic. Oh, like a take on me remix. Stark Targaryen. Yeah, mash up. That would have been unreal.

You're a big music guy. That would have been cool. I do like music. My other takeaway was that Theon, like they built up this whole thing. He's got no dick. He bitched out when... A lot of these characters are just dickless.

Yeah. No, it's like a big running theme. Like there's, I'd say half of the show is just dickless. Just botched circumcisions. No. That one was just the fucked up Ramsay Bolton guy just cut his dick off. He had two girls. He had his own dick off. He cut Theon Greyjoy's dick off, made him call him Reek,

and then sent his dick back to his family. Not to mention that he had two girls come in the room and act like they're going to have a threesome with him to get him hard and then he came in and just cut his dick off. Yeah, I was going to say, cutting off a flaccid penis would be a lot more difficult. It's tricky. You have to, yeah, it's almost like a mind game

in order to cut somebody's dick off. You have to get them horny first. But I thought it was kind of bullshit how they built up this whole like redemption story. Like he's, he bitched out like five times. He's finally going to save Yara. I figured there was going to be a whole battle, like an epic thing, and he just showed up and was like,

all right, let's go. Let's go, you're free. My question, Jon Snow got on that dragon. That was pretty cool. Yeah, that, you get it. I should have realized that he was a Targaryen the minute he gets on a dragon. That's like a big thing in the books and stuff.

Like you have to like, it's like kind of like Avatar. Like you only have one dragon. Like you got to like, you got to become the dragon rider. And he was just like, she was like, oh, if you can get on, get on. Like the sword and the stone, if you can pull this. Right, right. Sword out of a rock and cut the dragon's penis off,

then you become one of them. So that was our Game of Thrones recap. Probably the most basic. You got any takes or predictions? Everyone keeps saying hot pie. What the fuck is with hot pie? He's a fat little shit that makes pies. That's like an internet thing.

Oh, okay. I just want to say I miss Hodor. Yeah, Hodor. Here's Hodor. Hodor. He'll be back. I think Samuel Tarly is going to win the throne. And the whole, like they're going to do a 10-year show

where it's like, hey, at the end of the day, nerds win, and then Ravel's going to be like, see, this is why getting anchovies on my pizza in college wasn't that bad. Wait, what's the name of the kid in the wheelchair? Bran. I think Bran's going to win the throne. He's not a human anymore, though.

He's a three-eyed raven. He'll fucking tell you everyone about it. Bran is the Night King. Just talk to Bran once, and he'll fucking let you know he went to Harvard, and he's a three-eyed raven. So annoying. Okay, I could see that. I don't know what that means.

Yeah, he's like, you're a man now. Not really. What? Shut up, dude. I don't even know what that means. It says almost. That was some prophecy shit. He knows he's going to do something,

because he's like, you're a man now. He's like, almost. Oh, so he might be the Night King? He's going to do something. So he's just going to tip over his wheelchair and beat the army of the dead. You know what would be such a good troll? Is if the very last episode, they brought in an actual

person for modern day, and like a celebrity, like a guest star, and they said, okay, Hillary Clinton wins the throne. Yeah, there she is. I'm with her. I'm still with her. Or she persisted. Or the last scene is the Iron Throne,

and don't stop believing it's played, it's the black. Oh, there's going to be another good one. Yeah. There's a little crossover. All right, so yeah, that was probably the dumbest game of Thrones recap, but also probably the most relatable, maybe, because we really don't, like we just like it.

I don't really know. Do you dive into the theories and shit? Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm never going to do that. I'm more of a... I read one of the books. I like to watch... What?

You watch one of the books? When? After I finish, there's a book about... Look, you all of it? Yeah. You read the book. How many pages? Probably like 300.

Like right after I finished watching it? Probably a month ago? No. I love how Hank squirreling away books, like hiding his reading habit from us. That's way bigger of a story than me watching 77 hours of TV. Yeah.

You read a book? Yeah. Did you have to hide it from people? No, I just didn't say it until now. I never saw you with this book. It's on my apartment. You never brought it in? You ever read it on the train?

Of course not, because he was ashamed of having a book. Damn. Did you read it the right way? Yes. You know what? Left to right? That whole thing? I'm going to Wikipedia Game of Thrones.

I'm going to warm up you, Hank. Yeah, I mean, that's... I don't know. Who do you think is going to win? I love Cersei. She's the baddest bitch alive. She just kills everyone. She fucks her brother.

Then she's going to kill her brother. She's going to kill both her brothers. And I don't know. As soon as you get to a certain point where it's like, oh, this bitch doesn't care. I fucking love her. I like Darnarius. Yeah.

Or Khaleesi, if you're of a dothraki. I am of a dothraki. We speak to tongue. Hey, listen. If you're listening to this still now, the gold episode, we talked to the guy who created Dothraki and Hyvelerion. Pretty badass. Pretty badass.

All right. That's our show. We got a Hall of Famer coming up. On Wednesday. Hall of Famer. Future Hall of Famer. Future Hall of Famer. Love you guys.

Love you guys. Take me out. Take me out. Take me out. Take me out. Take me out. Take me out. Take me out.

Take me out. Take me out. Take me out. Take me out. Take me out. Take me out. Take me out. Take me out.

Take me out. Take me out. Take me out. Take me out. Take me out. Take me out. Hey, look. Hey, hey, look.

Hey, hey. Hey, look. I'll be gone, I'll be gone, I'll be gone, I'll be gone, I'll be gone Things that we say every little hour, just to play love every little week You're all things I've come to remember Sigh away, I'll come and win my life I'll come and win my life I'll be gone, I'll be gone, I'll be gone, I'll be gone

I'll be gone, I'll be gone, I'll be gone