Pardon My Take - Scott Van Pelt, Jon Rahm Wins The Masters, NBA Regular Season Ends + UFC

Episode Date: April 10, 2023

Huge sports weekend and it starts with the Masters. Jon Rahm wins in an incredible performance and we’re sad about Brooks Sunday. Patrick Cantlay is still out there and Tiger looked old (00:00:00-00:36:04). We talk UFC, Odell to the Ravens and NBA regular season ending (00:36:04-00:57:32). Who’s back of the week including Harry Potter and Hockey Hank (00:57:32-01:16:08). Scott Van Pelt joins us from Augusta to talk about the weekend, Rahm’s performance, the Masters Groundscrew and tons more (01:16:08-01:43:15). We finish with the lottery ball and a new bet (01:43:15-01:49:17).You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, the Masters. We talk about a weekend of golf. John Rom's incredible Sunday. Sad Brooks last round.

We're gonna get into all of it. NBA seedings have finally happened. The regular season is officially over. Talk a little bit about that. Playing games coming up. We had UFC. We had, what else do we have? We had a ton of stuff.

It was a crazy sports weekend. Odell Beckham. Odell Beckham, yeah, that's it right there. So Odell Beckham, yeah, a bunch of guys in the NBA got in fights on the last Sunday of the regular season. So a lot of sports to get into. And we have our good friend, Scott Van Pelt, a tradition unlike any other Scott Van Pelt,

zooming in from the airport after the Masters right before he eats a big Texan cinnamon roll. Yeah, big Texas toast or whatever it's called. So before we get to all of that, we are brought to you by our friends at ourselves, the Barstool Sportsbook. Today's show is brought to you by the Barstool Sportsbook, the one and only sports books of shows

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and bet with us at the Barstool Sportsbook. We've got NBA and NHL playoffs coming up. So get excited. Great time of year for sports fans. Okay, let's go. Boy! Boy! Now in the street there is violence

and not a lot of soft work to be done. No place to hang out or wash in and then I can't blame all on the sun. We're gonna rock down to electric avenue. And then we'll take it higher. Oh, we're gonna rock down to electric avenue. Presented by Barstool Sports. Welcome to part of my take.

Today is Monday, April 10th and John Rom is your master's champion. Fuck! Whoa! Whoa! You took to Brooks' loss pretty hard. That was too loud. Holy shit.

Was that too loud? That was way too loud. That scared me, dude. I thought Max was saying fuck because he forgot to record something. That was Jake, yeah. That was Jake saying fuck. Oh, because he had to say it.

That sounded like a Max. Oh my God. I get scared of the shit. Are we able to turn that down or are people gonna like shit themselves in the morning? That was our darling Jake fulfilling a promise because Greenie was rooting all in for John Rom.

Everything he's got, he said. Everything he's got, which is a lot. And so our darling Jake, to combat that, said that he would say the F-bomb if John Rom won. And John Rom won. And John Rom was fantastic. He was exceptional. It's hard to root for a guy like that.

I did, again, I think it may be, I might have to go to rehab or something, the Brian Windhorst Lebron treat. I was just thinking every time he hit it off the tee and he is so strong because he is, it's like a shotgun goes off when he hits off the tee. He's so good. He's so good.

When he's died, I would say that he's like, he becomes an assassin when he locks in. Well, oh, so I went and looked up some fun John Rom stats because we obviously have known about him. He's won a major before. He's like, I don't know, is he number two? I think he might be two behind Scotty Sheffler.

Yeah, I think Sheffler's one, Rom's two. But Rom was playing, he didn't play like his best golf leading in this tournament, but he was still only plus 900. Yeah, he's got the notebook in his back pocket and this is Rambo, which just rules. Yeah, big ass. Yeah, big, huge dude.

The dude has an ass that won't quit. So he has a mental coach. And his mental coach used to be a bomb disposal expert. That is the coolest thing you could ever do is find a mental coach and not be like, oh, this is my therapy. No, this is a guy who was basically Jeremy Renner in Hurt Locker

and he tells you how to become when you're coming up, the back nine at the master is trying to put the green jacket on once and for all. Hoseba Del Carmen is the dude's name. And so apparently when they started working together, Rom wanted to fix his temper because he has all these outbursts or used to have these outbursts on the course. And the bomb disposal guy was like,

let's just not talk about golf. Let's just talk about your normal temper. And then hopefully that will carry over onto the golf course. That's genius though, having like a bomb disposal. That's probably the best person in the world to talk to about remaining calm. Yes, I mean he's, John Rom is a guy

that everyone should want to root for because he seems like a very cool guy, calm guy because of the bomb disposal guy. Also fun fact about John Rom, his swing is the shortest on the PGA tour because he was born with a disfigured foot and one of his legs is shorter than the other. That's that's right.

So he doesn't have ankle strength. Yeah. And he shortened his swing for it. Does that give him like a better approach? I don't know, but I feel like this is now gonna be a fad where, you know, the hanks of the world start like, you know, shortening one of their legs to get the John Rom swing.

Tiger almost did that unintentionally. Well, should we talk about Tiger real quick? Because I, Well, let's, let's, let's give John Rom his flowers. John Rom deserves all the flowers. He was phenomenal. He shot. The second best golfer in the history of Arizona State.

Yes. I'm Phil Mickelson. Yes. So Tim Mickelson, his brother was John Rom's coach. Yes. College coach and first agent. Another fun fact about John Rom, you know how he learned how to speak English?

He said, he dispelled this little, but yes. By listening to Eminem. Yeah. By learning Eminem songs. So that probably led to him having to get somebody who's like a bomb disposal technician to teach him how to keep his temper quiet. Yeah. He, he, I read an article that was basically like,

John Rom, the media ran with it after his first win in like 2017 and he's like, well, not really. That's not really how I did it, but I'd listen to some. No, the other part was Tim Mickelson, Phil's brother, coach, used to make John Rom and one of the other teammates who both were Spanish speaking do 10 burpees every time they said a word in Spanish, which seems, seems like the athletics

gonna write a takedown piece on that retroactively. Yeah. But it worked. Beat it out. Yeah, right. So yeah, John Rom, phenomenal, phenomenal Sunday. It was his dad's birthday. It was his, his dad passed away, I think,

but it was his dad's birthday today. Okay. And there are certain things that we should be, we should be informed of before tournaments start so we can figure out who's gonna be the team of destiny or the golfer of destiny. Knowing that it was going to be his father's birthday on Sunday, I would have liked to know that.

Also, I would have liked to know the fact that his caddy got that number. I think he was number 49. It's 49 today. Yup. That's another fun fact that Jim Nance brought up several times, how that ties in with his dad. And also he just had a kid.

So he's got two kids now, one of which is less than a year old. Another thing I would have liked to know and about before I decided who to bet on because it's always a golfer with an infant that wins at the Masters. Yes, yes. And it's, it also is the 40 year anniversary of Seve Ballesteros winning the Masters.

I would have liked to know that. Fellow Spaniards, Spain kind of a dynasty in Masters now. I think they have six. Yeah. So they're. Most Masters. They are, they're running rough shot on everyone else. Agatha.

Agatha. But yeah, it was, John Rom was phenomenal. 30 holes because of the weather on Sunday. And he was just like unflappable because obviously we'll get to the part where we were rooting for Brooks. We bet on Brooks. We also wanted Brooks to win because he's a friend.

And John Rom just gave him no, like Brooks played bad. Brooks choked a lot of, I don't want, I'm going to say Patrick Cantley really choked. Patrick Cantley played slower than anyone's ever played in the entire history of golf. And Brooks is a tempo guy. He's a tempo guy. Yeah.

There was actually a moment where Victor Hovland was already walking up the fairway because he's like, I can't wait for Patrick Cantley anymore. He was playing with Patrick Cantley. Pretty sure you're not supposed to do that. So Brooks, tough Sunday. Everyone will make the joke. The live joke, 54 holes.

Liv actually had a great showing because they think that what they have, they had Phil and Brooks tied for second. Patrick Reed was top five. You made a little run late. Was there someone else who was top five from Liv? I believe so. Either way, the Liv showed out.

The Liv showed out, but Brooks, so some may call it a choke. Others, like us, will say there was a divine intervention at play. I alluded to this on Twitter, but we had maybe the greatest jinx of all time by someone in this room. Well, yeah, there was that.

Did someone want to fess up? Because people, when I tweeted, one of the greatest jinxes of all time happened on the PMT group chat on Saturday. Most of the replies were saying, it's Max, or it was Billy, or goddammit Jake. Why would you say that? Who would like to stand up and put their hand up

as the person you need this? You know what, Big Cat? I'd like to be the bigger man in this situation and say that I played a part in it. Okay, no, you didn't. I played a part in it. No, no, who did it? I'd like to just take some responsibility for it,

and then we'll see if anybody. No, no, no. Okay, yeah, yeah. Go ahead, go ahead. Who did it? No, good point, Hank. All right, I'll just read the text. This is on Saturday after they suspended play for the day.

I just hope I get a second to explain myself after. Oh, are you admitting it was you? Oh, for those of you who? You're the person, yeah. If you just started to listen to part of my take in the last two weeks, and you might not recognize that voice, that's Hank Lockwood, back from his vacation.

Yes, who? Someone hurt both of you on vacation with your kids, and I'm gonna get to the bottom of it, because I feel bad. There's something that scars you guys just when the V word comes up. No, we just gotta keep the lights on here. We're just grinding it.

I was gone too. I don't know why all the attention's going ahead. We're gritting grinders. Oh, you were celebrating the Passover too. It was religiously driven. I'll say this. If you had jinxed Brooks the way Hank did, I'd be equally as mad at you for your vacation.

So. This is dramatic. Dramatic? Dramatic. You said traumatic. It was traumatic. It is traumatic. Your brain wasn't on again.

You showed up and you hadn't turned your brain back on from, you were in sleep mode. Hank texted this after his play was suspended on Saturday. Brooks had a four stroke lead. He said, the question is, would Brooks come on on Sunday? Or would it be more likely he come on Tuesday if it gets delayed and they have to finish Monday? Pretty presumptuous of you.

Pretty presumptuous of you. You basically had already. You crowned him. Yeah, you know, he had tailored his green jacket. He was like, well, this is set. Perfect. We got our guest Monday. Brooks is on.

Hank was like, do you think all the other live golfers that greeted Brooks on the 18th green to celebrate his green jacket, you think they'd all want to come on? Hmm. Thoughts? I think it's dramatic. Listen, I made a mistake.

I was probably thinking a little bit too far ahead of myself. You think? But one, we were talking about merch. So we were planning shirts for if you want. Shirts, I understand. My head, no. Shirts, I understand. It's understandable, but I'm just, again,

if you let me speak without interruption, it'd be nice. Don't confuse the listeners with shirts, because merch is part of the business. We have to have a shirt ready to go if Brooks had won, because we can't come up with a shirt in five seconds. No shit. We all had to do shirts before. You are proving my point.

But don't muddy the waters. I'm just explaining myself. Keep them separate. No, it's the same. Because they were, I was going through the process of thinking of shirts, thinking of ideas of if you want. So I was thinking of him winning. So yes, that was the headset, mind space I was in.

And then I did, I was like, oh yeah, because in that conversation, it was like, these are the different options for if you win. So I was like, oh, he's going to win. And I was like, oh, I wonder when he would come on. The rain stops. I was like, he probably wouldn't come on Sunday, because the master's is a lot coming on if you were to win.

No, no, you said, do you think he'd want to come on on Sunday? That's not what you said. You're explaining. All right, just forget it. All right, fine. I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry. No, no, no, keep going.

I'm sorry. I fucked up. I'm the reason Brooks blew it like he had a bad Sunday. No, no, no, no, you explain yourself. Sorry you lost your bet, big cat. No, no, OK. I'm so happy to be back. Excuse me, Hank.

I'm also in this room. Oh, sorry. No, keep going. That doesn't sound like you're sorry. We're just correcting things that you're deliberately getting wrong, because it wasn't, you weren't saying, oh, he might cut. Like, we got to see.

I was explaining my head space. I wasn't saying what I said. No, it's fine. I was spawning your head space. No, I fucked up. I'm sorry. No, no, keep going. I thought Brooks was going to win.

I made a mistake. I sent a wrong text message. Jank's the whole thing. It's all my fault. What about the fact that you also don't believe weather's real? And then weather reared its ugly head on Saturday. Golfers are pussies.

They should just play through. Well, I agree with that. I think that big weather had a part in this. If they didn't have fake trees, it wouldn't have been a problem. Yeah, so here's the thing. Is big weather, where you ask Brian Windhorst's face? Where is the weather channel located? Huh, it's right outside of Gusta.

Do you think that maybe they wanted more ratings on the weather channel? Oh, what would do that? Maybe a big storm coming through Augusta potentially suspending play. Just something to think about. I think the trees are rigged to fall. Control demolition.

Hank, I am that one guy who I know that you could, I guess, die, but dude, you could sue them forever. I'd basically be like, I'm in the tournament every year. Those are my off. Oh, yeah. No, as far as hitting the jackpot goes in terms of lawsuits, having a tree hit you at Augusta, that's the dream.

Yes. Hank, I accept your apology. And I also would like to say, if Brooks had played well on Sunday and lost by a stroke, I would have put all the blame on you. He didn't. He did not play well. That's the matter of the fact here.

Like, he didn't play well. So it can't be, a text can't have caused what happened. OK. But you did have a part. And I apologize. A small part. Yep. Everything turned.

Everything turned. Everything turned for Brooks. Literally from that moment on. Now, shout out, Brooks. So he did play. He played really well Thursday, Friday, and Saturday before Hank texted us. Yeah, that's true.

He was awesome. I mean, he was in the lead. We were designing shirts. Yeah, we were designing shirts, which we have to do. Yeah. Yeah. Trying to make money for the company here. Yeah, Brooks did not play well down the stretch.

That sucked. We wanted him to win. It would have been cool, especially like, just the idea of Brooks not playing in the PGA tour, but just showing up and ripping off one or two majors a year would be awesome. Yeah. In fact, if he had won this and then,

he seems like he's back. Like, Brooks is back to playing old school Brooks golf until Sunday happened. As long as Hank doesn't say any more tests. And Hank keeps his name out of his lips. It would be very funny to have Brooks making $100 million to play in tournaments he doesn't give a shit about, and then showing up and still dominating the rest of,

like, the PGA when it came to the majors. But he played well, for the most part, before the weather delay. And then the course just, it didn't agree with his game. He was also fucking up his tee shots. His first tee shot in his last round today, that's when it was over. When he found himself hitting out of the wrong fairway

on the first hole, that's my move, Brooks. I'm an expert at doing that. I hit 70% of my second shots out of the wrong fairway. He just hit it up the other fairway, and then he got a perfect spot. Yeah, Rom did that on the last one. I've never seen a player take a provisional on the 18th hole of the master.

I didn't think that that was a thing that you could do. But yeah, he just said, yeah, I'll take a provisional. And then he played his second one out of the fairway. But then he found his original one. No, he played his second one out of the other fairway. Yeah, the wrong fairway. Yeah, then he found his original ball. No, that's the shot that he hit, I think.

Oh, OK, yeah. And then he just picked up his provisional. Got it. Jordan Spieth. Shout out to Jordan Spieth, because he's quickly becoming like the James Winston of the PGA Tour. He had 21 birdies, which is the most in the field, 10 bogeys, and two doubles.

So he was just like all over the map. Yeah. At one point, he was like hitting out of a tree. Yeah, he had a scintillating round four, 66. Like, a lot of guys actually, like, it was crazy. 66, and he lost his match. Yeah, and John Rom, like, credit to John Rom, he, because any other, like, if you

look at how some of these guys played on Sunday, it could have very well been a playoff situation with some of these guys, like, Phil played incredible. Yes, Phil shot a 65 on Sunday. Yeah, Phil was locked in. Phil, on Saturday, when he came out rocking the all black with the black gloves, looking like a hitman, I knew that he was about to do something special.

Also, shout out to Seawoo Kim for wearing the shirt that just said PGA Tour all over it in, like, different fonts. And he was playing with Phil on Saturday. Yeah, and to Patrick Reed for wearing his other jersey. He was wearing the Aces jersey. Yes, yes. He was wearing a pink Aces shirt and then a black Aces hat. The rivalry, I would have just loved

to see a live player win the Masters just for the chaos that would have happened afterwards. It was still a great tournament, just, I mean, it was weird because the weather, Saturday afternoon, having that, like, your plans kind of ruined, that sucked. But having 30 holes on Sunday to watch. And I wish it was a little tighter.

I wish we had had a little more, like, Brooks had stepped up a little more and it had been back and forth. Because it did feel, as soon as John Rom took the lead, it was like, he's not giving us. They were out to get Brooks because what better way to stop a player who doesn't really like to play golf than to make them play 30 holes of golf in one day. And behind Patrick Cantland.

We're like, Patrick Cant play fast. Yeah, there we go. That guy sucked. That guy sucked. Did he say that? No, I'm sure he did. He did, to himself. I'm sure Rick Riley will come out with that one.

Put a clock on it. Within 30 hours, Rick Riley will say Patrick Cant play. It was bad, though. It was bad watch. They, I think the quote, Brooks was asked afterwards, because you could just tell he was so pissed. He said, the group in front of us was brutally slow. John went to the bathroom seven times today

and we were still waiting. So yeah. So John Rom just. John Rom pissed on. Well, no, I think what John Rom did, which is very relatable, is when your food's taking forever, and you're like, I'm just going to go to the bathroom and hope my food's here when I get back.

He just kept on going to the bathroom, didn't have to go. But was like, well, when I get back, we'll be ready to play. Also, that guy who takes the really, really quick piss break when you're out on the course, respect to that guy. I think that was Max with us. I think Max might have put his dick out and taken a leak on the course on the first tee box. What are you talking about?

Did we play? Not homo. No, no, no, but did we play? Was there a video of it? Oh, no, not of that one. Oh, not that one. All right, there will be though. Well, he did have the camera out there.

That's true. Also, I went to take a piss at a tree and Jake was like, whoa, you're too close and wouldn't play swords with me. And then like tucked his dick in and walked away. All right, too. But yeah, go ahead. Unexpected shout out to the birds, to the eagles. And John Rom's green jacket ceremony

said that Zach Erts texted him before the first hole and said, like, this green's looking wide open. First hole is looking wide open. So he goes out there and he double eagles it out of massive respect for the birds. And that right there tells you that the bomb. Excuse me, double bogies it. Double bogies.

That bomb detectors doing a great job because anyone else, and really just I'm saying anyone who's not a professional golfer, which this is in rocket science, but if you double bogie your first hole, it's over for the rest of the week. Yeah, at that point you're like, I'm going to get drunk. Yeah, even if I get close,

I'll be thinking about the double bogie at the first. Yeah, so John Rom, I've loved John Rom since I first said eyes on him. And when I first said eyes on him was 2018 when we went to the US Open. He, I think he might've been staying like near where we were staying. And I saw him in the tiniest Porsche ever

and he does not fit in a Porsche. And I was like, I respect this guy because he basically was like, when I make it, I'm going to buy a Porsche, even though those aren't made for guys my size. Yeah. He just squeezed in. He looks so uncomfortable in the Porsche.

It's him in a Porsche is like him in that tiny hat that he has. Yeah. And it's not really a tiny hat. He's just got a massive head. He's a huge dude. Just big head, big guy. He's more of a Haas than Scotty Shuffler is.

Yeah, no, he's country strong. He's kind of, yeah. Yeah, no, he is. Which country? Whatever country you want. The Basque region. Yeah, he is definitely country strong. Yeah.

He's got a little Adam Dunn to him. Yup. Big donkey. Yeah. El Buro, they should call him El Buro. He does. That's a good nickname from the donkey. He's got that frame where you're just like,

again, if you close your eyes when he's hitting off the tee, it's like a shotgun box. Yeah. No, John Rom, once Brooks hit that opening tee shot of his last round into the wrong fairway, you just knew that John Rom, he's not a guy that's gonna fuck it up. No, Brooks didn't play well.

And I know there's a lot of people who are rooting against Brooks. They had a fantastic Sunday. Yup. Because if you don't like Brooks, and I'm not gonna sit here and try to change your opinion, watching him like slowly let the lead leak and then just have John Rom

completely stranglehold on it, that must have been very fun. Yeah. You must have had a great fucking time because Brooks didn't play well. And it sucked. That's the part that sucks the most. If John Rom went out and shot like a 64

and Brooks did well, you'd be like, okay, well, John Rom was just phenomenal. It did feel like Brooks left a few out there. It's like, fuck. So he needed one bounce to kind of get the momentum going. And it felt like the momentum just never started going as well. There were like five different greens that he hit and his shot lands and you're like,

oh, that's a good shot by Brooks. And then those fucking undulations. Yeah, I know. At Augusta. And shout out to Jim Nance, by the way, because Jim Nance, he has been going to this tournament for what feels like 300 years and watching it. The second a ball lands, Jim Nance will be like,

oh, that's gonna be bad. Even if it lands like five feet from the pen. Yeah. And then slowly, but surely the ball rolls back. They pull a hank and it goes in the fairway. Did you see Jim Nance had the perfect delivery of a live joke? Oh, yeah. He crushed it.

Brooks hit one and it went in the crosswalk. And he's like, there's Brooks Kepka on the CW, the crosswalk. And I was like, damn, Jim, you still got it, bro. That's as close as Jim Nance will ever get to nuking you on a show. But that was a nuke bomb. It was a nuke bomb. There was a little bit of bittersweet revenge that Hank did have against our friend Max Homa.

Because Max Homa, in the now infamous viral clip where Hank chipped up and then had the ball roll back to his feet in PGA Tour 2K23, like five times in a row. And Max was like, yeah, I showed this to all the boys on tour. We called a hank now. He actually had a hank, maybe even on the same hole, Hank. Did you see that? Wasn't the same hole.

And listen, he's the one that called it a hank. He exacted revenge on himself. He cursed himself. I didn't say that. I had a bad PGA Tour clip. It's a real shame that he was making fun of me by calling it a hank. And then the same thing happened to him. I wish it didn't happen.

I noticed you deleted your tweet. Well, I wrote the wrong. I wrote the wrong. I meant to write bite. I wrote cut. Yeah. So that was just like a vacation tweets don't matter. You could edit that with Twitter Blue.

Yes. Oh, fuck that. Oh, did you see the stats, by the way, behind it? When did you buy Twitter Blue? Was it after the April 1st? No, it was the day before they threatened to take it away. I did the stats and there was like 73 people bought it after the deadline. Yeah.

Like of all the blue check marks. I was like, God damn it. I hope that's Jake. Yeah, Max. Shout out to AWL who's who yelled out that's a spicy meatball. Yeah. You're welcome to come watch. Watch the Masters with us now that you've been kicked out of Augusta forever.

Maybe I do like saying that's a spice. Spice. They gave me umbrellas might have helped. Yeah, harder to find. Harder to find. But let's not talk about Max because he didn't play well. And I don't Max needs to finish like top 10 for me to make fun of him. Like it just didn't go his way in a bad way.

Spin zone. He he didn't have his A game. He didn't have his best stuff. Or is B and he made the cut at Augusta. Or is even though he wasn't playing very well. That's hard to do. His F plus game. Tiger.

The Tiger made the cut and that's finished at the now. People are up in taxes about Tiger Woods where they're like, hold on. Hold on. It was hold on. Progress. Hold on. Yeah, what do you finish? What do you finish?

Todd for 43 that was his best 24. I'm not going to make fun of Max. I don't want to do this. Twenty twenty twenty one cut twenty twenty two. Todd for forty eight twenty twenty three. Todd for forty third. He's OK. So like in twenty fifty five.

We're going to get to the top five. Yeah. OK. Yeah. Yeah. He's going to win soon. You're good. You got this Max.

Yeah. Tiger Tiger made the cut and then people got pissed off at him because he withdrew. Many people are saying Tiger shouldn't be playing in the Masters anymore. But if you make the cut in the Masters, you should be a lot of people are pissed off about him. They're saying that he's ruining his legacy by taking it by taking a spot in the third and fourth round from players that could have made the cut if he weren't there that would have actually finished the tournament.

To them, I say hardy fuck you. You've got a big dump in your pants if you don't want to see Tiger Woods playing in the Masters. So I wouldn't say this, but some people online would say this. Cinex, let's call him, that Tiger's injury did seem to come on like a wave as soon as you started playing bad. I wouldn't say that. I would also not say that.

But it's also I'm a huge Charlie Woods guy. Yeah. So I would not say that, but I read that and I was like, hmm, something to think about, maybe I'll bring it up on the show. Well, you know, Tiger, he hates bogies so much. That's like he absolutely can't stand bogies. He would he would he would love to finish around if it was just like straight pars and shoot even par.

There was that old story when he played the best tournament, maybe of all time in the US Open at Pebble Beach, where he beat the field by like a record amount. He had, I think the lowest four day total in the history of a major championship. And on the 18th hole on the last day, he scrambled to make his bogey or excuse me to make his par instead of hitting a bogey. And he celebrated and everybody was like, look how happy he is to win the US Open. And he was like, no, I mean, I knew that I was going to win the US Open. I was just trying not to make a bogey because I can't fucking stand bogies.

So if you can't, if you hate bogies and you're out there and you're playing like shit in third round, it's probably like a little bit mental that you're like, oh, yeah, my body does my leg hurts and my leg hurts. That must be why I'm making these bogies. So I'm out. I just love it's it's really only Tiger. There's not many. I guess there's there's a bunch of like sappy people and golf writers and everything online.

But Tiger elicits something out of these writers that you just don't really see with anyone else where they just get so serious and like romanticize everything. This one was I screenshot it because I laughed out loud when I saw it. This is from Ryan Burr, who I think covers golf. He said, the ultimate warrior, the national. Notice he didn't say Augusta national. He said, the national is a tough walk for anyone. Throw in the wet and cold.

I was hoping the cut would stay at plus two, not because I didn't want Tiger Woods to make the cut, but because the pain it would cause if he had to play on. This guy just chill out, dude. Like Tiger, Tiger's going to be fine. Yeah, he's going to keep playing the Masters. He might win another one. He's going to play his select tournaments every year. I don't think Tiger's going to win another Masters.

We all said that before, 19 to I would. I will, you know what, I'll drive my car into a ravine on purpose. OK, if Tiger Woods wins another Masters, I listen, I would not. He's the one guy who wouldn't count out for anything just because. He he's Tiger Woods. I obviously, the odds are against him severely against him. But again, before 2019, everyone thought he was going to win another Masters. Yeah, I feel like that was the end.

That was the end of the line for him, where that was the one where it's like, oh, holy shit, Tiger did it. But before that, people were like, no, there's no chance. Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and say there's no chance that Tiger wins another Masters. I will be a Tiger believer. I mean, I'm going to root for him, even if it means I have to drive into a wall. Sounds like you're not.

No, I'll take that for the team. If you listen, if it means that Tiger wins on their Masters, I will I will drive off a cliff. Hank, we when you got up to take a John Rompy, we were saying that some people online were saying that Tiger started getting more injured as his play got bad. We wouldn't say that. Did you see anyone saying that?

I did not. Oh, OK, good. All right, good. So you you you don't have any haters on your on your timeline or anyone talking about it that way. Yeah, I mean, it was it was slippery out there. Right. It's hard to walk. Right. Right. It's got a bad back. Yeah, he he was walking and then all of a sudden he wasn't walking. I mean, the clip of him

right trying to get the ball out of the hole was tough. The clip of him just walking down the street was tough. I didn't say this. I'm saying some of the people were saying even in like the first and second rounds when he was hitting shots, he would pick his leg up after. Yeah, I think he was hurt the entire time. Yeah, I would never say he got more hurt, though, as it went on. Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot of walking.

It's a lot of walking. I mean, do you want me to read the tweet again? How long to make war? How long do you think it would take you, Big Cat, to to play 18 holes at Augusta if you had to walk and also count every single shot that you were hitting? I I thought to myself, probably about 13 hours because think about how fucked up those greens are a long time.

I I was I was thinking about this hypothetical. Do you think we should try and join Augusta? I was thinking about that. We should. I would I would do it. Why haven't we just applied? I don't know. That's what I kind of popped it in my mind. OK, nice. All right, let's hit him up. Let's apply. I had this thought.

Why doesn't everybody just play Augusta all the time? We get really, really good for the Masters. And it turns out it's super private and you can't get. Yeah, I was like, I was like, four. No, why? Why don't they just play it a thousand times to get really good at it for the Masters? Like, turns out you can't.

It's a good strategy, though, that you had. Do you think that's why Freddie Couples is in contention? It seems like every year in the first two rounds, Freddie Couples, by the way, the ultimate flex playing with a crew next sweatshirt and a yellow and the dayglow yellow golf ball, which is such an old man thing to do. But Freddie Couples, I feel like everyone's always surprised in major tournaments when on the first day, Freddie Couples is like,

he shoots like minus one. He does it every year. Like what is because the man has played Augusta for 40 years and knows every single hill. All this, all this got to make the cut. Shadow of Freddie Couples, absolute legend. I was going to throw out this hypothetical. If you had a superpower that the minute your ball gets on the green,

every putt you ever make will go in. So you could be a hundred yards away or a hundred feet away. It goes in no matter what. Do you think you could get your golf game good enough to make the cut in Augusta? I would. Yeah, I would. I would pull my trick of just hitting. I would just go putter all putter. No, no, you can't. No, no, it's it's only on the green.

Yeah. No, I would putt. I would putt down the down the fairway again. I don't think that would make the cut. That would not make the cut. I bet it's a very long golf course. There's no way that would make the cut. You see all those balls rolling down. There's no way that would make the cut.

What are you talking about? Putt. There's no way that would make the cut. No, I would not. Hank, you think you could? Yeah, it's got to get out there. Grind. You got to get out there and just work on it. So how sick would that be if you had that in your bag where you're like, the minute I get on the green, it's it.

And everyone's like, Holy shit, he's the best putter of all time. And why does it keep slicing his drive like he's never played before? It would be fun. What are you going to say, Jake? You cannot apply for membership. It's by invitation only. Membership slots open primarily when a member dies. So we got to start killing all these guys. All right. I have a list of people we need to kill.

Yeah. I don't say their names out. No, no, no, no. We could actually be like, they'd be like, oh, they said their names. They're going to kill them. We'll just see. We're not going to kill anybody. Totally. But Jake, who are some of the people that are members there? Condoleezza Rice. I know she's there. Yeah, Jack and Klaus. Uh-huh. I forgot to shot him out on Thursday, Friday's show.

But he started off the tournament really well right down the middle. They should show the shot tracers on those. He should also play. If I was like, that's what I love about Fred Walkins. If Fred Couples made the cut, he made the cut. But I'm saying like, if I think Sandy Lyle like played his last masters, why would you ever? I know that there's a rule that like, if you can't be competitive,

you shouldn't be playing. Fuck that. Yeah. If I want a green jacket, I'm playing for the rest of my life. Also, they should let Tiger should you should get to use a golf cart. Wait, we have a plug. What? Pete Kors. Oh, OK. Let's go. So we're open to an invitation. If anyone would like to invite us, we are down to be invited to become members of Augusta.

How fast do we get kicked out of Augusta? I was just saying, how fast do you think like the masters would lose all of its allure? Yeah, I think I think we instantly there's like an unspoken negotiation that we have with the masters where it's like, just, you know, that you shouldn't show up and we won't try to show up. Yeah. The the people were pissed about the not being able to watch Brooks on Saturday. It's just the ultimate flex by the masters is that they do.

I think this was the 68th year. They do a one year contract every year with CBS so they could just pull it at any moment. Yeah. Well, did you know that I'll have you guess? What do you think the rights to broadcast the masters is? How much do you think ESPN and CBS pay? I don't know. Per year. Hundreds of millions. Zero dollars. Oh, because it's free.

Yeah, because they don't free because, yeah. That way, Augusta can control everything that goes on with the broadcast. So it's like, we're going to set it up. You guys show up, you're going to get all the ratings, but you can't tell us how to do shit. And remember our tournament. Remember commercial. Yeah. Well, they're there's a yeah, they're four sponsors. It's like IBM, Rolex, some other but super rich company.

What they did in, I think it was like 2002-ish when the whole women want to join Augusta and they're like, no, you can't. This is the boys club. They pulled all their commercials for a couple of years so that those advertisers wouldn't get blowback because they're like, we don't need we don't need to make money off this. So they were like, we'll just go no commercials so no one can complain to our advertisers.

Yeah, they do. It's the ultimate flex. They do a million dollars in sales. I think was it every minute at the pro shop? It's insane. They make a shitload of money and they have zero dollars in TV rights. If they wanted to, they just every hour because every hour, seventy five million. Yeah, that probably makes sense.

Every every minute would be a lot. That'd be a ton. That'd be a shitload of money. That's that's that's a lot of sandwiches. Hold on. If they were, wouldn't it be a billion, though? Hold on. No, it would not be a billion. It wouldn't be a billion.

How much a billion is 60 shit time. It's a shit ton. Yeah. Yeah, exactly right. All right. So if they were open for what, 10 hours, 10 hours a day, four days. So they'd make six hundred million a day. I think that would be more if they built enough more shops, they could do it. That was a cool stat until my brain was like, yeah. No, it's it's a million per hour, which is still a fuckload of money.

I saw it was like something like set. They make like 70 plus million in the course of the five days. Yeah, they also have like underground tunnels for security and it's basically Disneyland. Yeah, that rules. The whole place is awesome. You can you can tell me sometimes you can tell me any lie about August. And I would believe it. Yeah, we got to go. We were going to go one year in and as a podcast and we'll review it.

Yeah, Augusta review. Four and a half ball, four and a half out of five balls. Yeah, pretty good golf course. OK, so shout out, John Rom. We're going to talk more masters with Scott Van Pelt in a minute before we get to the rest of the show, brought to you by our friends at Game Time, Game Time, the exclusive ticketing partner of Barstool Sports, created by fans for fans.

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Use code PMT for $20 off your first purchase term supply. All right, Hank, pick a number one through three for the next topic we talk. Three. Three. Okay. Odell Beckham to the Ravens. Wow. Number three. Number three, that that did kind of shock me and it feels like it's the least Ravens like signing of all time. Ravens have been stone cold committed to not having a good wide receiver

for like the last, I don't know, the entire existence of the franchise. Well, I guess we should wait to see what Odell Beckham looks like, because it could be the most Ravens signing of all time. If Odell Beckham's washed, I don't think he is. Yeah. But that would be the most Ravens signing of all time to sign Odell Beckham and he's not good. Well, he hasn't had a full season in what seems like forever right now, and I think when he was healthy playing on the, on the ramps, he was good.

Yeah. No, he was lighting up the Super Bowl. He tore his ACL. Yeah. He was really good. So this seems to me like, I don't think Odell would have signed with the Ravens if he thought that Lamar Jackson wasn't going to play next year. Well, counterpoint, now that I said that out loud, you're counterpointing yourself. Yeah. They did, they did pay him $15 million,

which is an insane amount of money to pay Odell Beckham Junior. Right. Right. It does feel though that Lamar Jackson should be like excited about this. You think maybe it's it's like a it's a nice it's a nice little offer like buying chocolates and some flowers when you fuck up. Hey, here's Odell Beckham. You know what? It seems a little bit desperate, a little desperate. It's like, please, please, Lamar, take it back.

But maybe that's what Lamar wanted because it's been a lot of it's been a lot of like no conversing back and forth. A lot of your sleep on the couch, you know, two ships in the night. Maybe this is what he wanted is like, just show me something. Show me that you love me in some form or fashion. Either could be mostly like hopefully $300 million or here's an Odell Beckham. Yeah. I mean, it also could be like Lamar looks at this and he's like, I you could have just given me the $15 million.

Yeah, true. True. That would have been cool, too. True. But they're like, hey, look, isn't this nice? We got you a receiver. So he's going to look so fast in that purple. Yeah. He's going to look really fast. Very fast. The other the other NFL story, Joe Douglas. What was he at, Billy? Did you see this? He was at like some fundraiser and they asked him, is Aaron Rodgers coming? He's like, oh, he's coming. He's going to be here.

So it has to happen now. Well, it seemed like GM like at a it looked like a fundraiser just being like, yep, Aaron Rodgers is in. It seemed like the the Ravens put a premium on Odell because they knew that he was supposed to meet with the Jets tomorrow morning. Right. And that they were probably going to try to sign him so they're like, don't let Odell leave the building, give him a big offer and have him sign with us instead, which is, I mean,

it would make way more sense for him to go to the Jets, right? Like, if you're Odell, if if your dad was cutting together highlight reels of how good you were with a quarterback that couldn't get you the ball when you were playing with with Baker, right? Going to the Ravens and having maybe no Lamar Jackson. That seems like that's a recipe for absolute disaster. Yes. If it's Tyler Huntley or somebody else, not Lamar Jackson next year. Odell is going to be pissed off.

Oh, he's going to be very, very, very, very, he's probably going to sit out in protest by like week three. He's going to be very pissed. He's going to be very, very pissed. All right. Next number, Hank. Two. Two. UFC was awesome on Saturday night. Israel, Adesanya slept Pereira, who he was 0 and 3 against lifetime, two kickboxing, one UFC. And then maybe like the most cold hearted move of all time,

mocked Pereira's son, who was crying, watching his dad get knocked out. Yeah. And yeah, I would, I'll say it. I love, I mean, I loved it. I know that people probably were like, oh, that's that's fucked up. But Adesanya afterwards said, I'm petty, bro. I remember the first time Pereira knocked me out in Brazil, his son came into the ring. This is a five year old we're talking about at the time

and then started to just lie dead next to me. I'm like, you fucking little asshole. I'll whoop your ass if your dad don't do it for you. I look for his kid and I pointed at him and I saw him and I copied the taunt just to remind him. Yeah, I love it. I absolutely love it. Like mocking a five year old. That's like 10 now.

Yeah. But at the time, he remembered that a five year old did that to him. Dude, if you knock somebody's dad out, you're allowed to make fun of that person's son. Yes. That's what goes along with it. Also, if you're stronger than your dad. Exactly. If you're a UFC fighter, maybe don't bring your kid to watch you get your ass kicked. Yeah, because even if you win the fight,

you're like five year old is watching you step into the ring and some dudes trying to knock your head off. OK, but what if this becomes his villain origin story where he becomes the best per son becomes the best UFC fighter of all time? You know, it beats out of Sonia. Does out of Sonia have a son? I don't know because his because per son should be allowed to challenge out of Sonia's son. Yeah. In a fight like bare knuckle boxing. Now we're just commissioning children fighting.

Yeah, I mean, right, right, right. Yeah, come come see us West Virginia. It was awesome, though. It was like I love out of Sonia. He hadn't been able to be prayer. I was at the fight in Mass and Square Garden where prayer was just like he just out of Sonia was winning the fight the whole time. The prayer just kept on coming and coming, coming, couldn't stop him. And it was own three.

And then finally, he gets what he's been looking for, that elusive victory against him. I love out of Sonia because he actually does believe that he's a video game character when he looks like he's in Tekken and he likes what they call him the style bender. Right. Yes. And so he'll just like he'll pull out these crazy ass fucking moves where it looks like he's a video game character, like trying to shoot a Hadouken at you. Yeah. And then you're like, wait, what is he doing?

And he's like saying it's some energy transfer, some bullshit like that. I love having a wild card like that fighting the UFC. Yes, no, it was it was awesome. You see, he also stole his celli out of Sonia, stood over him. It was taking his bow and arrow celli just right after and just throw him into. Yeah, he just like no, he just created the man. If you're 0 and 3 against a guy, I would imagine you have a lot of built up anger, things that you've like Sonia probably just sat at home.

You're like, you know what, if I beat him, I'm going to fucking do this. Yeah, I'm going to do this. Bill, you remember the first time you won a food challenge? How good that felt and how you wanted to disrespect the food? That's what he's going through right now. You just gotten bodied by food left and right. And now, of course, yeah, you're allowed to rub it in the face a little bit. Fire it up.

Also, Mazadal retired. Yeah, he did. People kind of thought because he was obviously was fighting in Miami, his hometown, so yeah, he'll be back. I mean, he was undercard on Kimbo Slices backyard fights, backyard brawls. Like for the career, he'll be back sublime directory. Who can forget he will be back? We're calling our shot.

Last one, one. I was going to say 17. Oh, damn. Did you see, by the way, Statholes Sports? He had a blog today, our friend. I think there was a guy on Price's right who did Plinko and he got zero four times in a row fake and he well, I'm just going off the block. Right. The blog was fake. No, the Plinko clip.

I saw the Plinko. OK, all right. So I didn't see the clip. I just read the blog said that it was harder. It's actually like crazy or what you're doing, not getting the lottery ball for Plinko's in a row at zero. Both rigged. Yeah. OK.

Number one, NBA playoffs were ready. And we also had a great last three days of the NBA regular season. We had the Mavericks tanking on Slovenia night. That sucked. It was literally. I didn't know it was Slovenia, dude. There were like there were hundreds of Slovenians who flew halfway across the country to see Luca play. And he played one corner.

It was Slovenia night. Did not know that it was. It made it very funny. But yeah, everyone's upset because the Mavs were still alive to make the playing game. I think they need to go to an O and I think Oklahoma City had to lose a game and they're like, fuck it, we'd rather keep our own pick, which they have to be in the top 10 to keep their own pick.

Otherwise, they owe it to the next. So this makes them the 10th worst team. So the lottery ball, ball odds are better. So we saw people were so upset and it's like, how can you be, how can you, how can they shock you at all when we've been heading this direction for a very long time that once you get to a point where it's like, we can't win the title. We're going to try to lose.

It just we were eventually going to get to a point where a team tanked while still being in the math. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's still weird, though, to see a team just run away from playoff contention, especially when you made a move like bring Kyrie in, which seemed that was an all in move, right? Yes. I'd say that the Mavericks were all in on Kyrie. And then Kyrie, he skipped his exit interview with the Mavericks.

No way. No way. Yeah. Yeah. He did not do his exit interview. Luca was upset by that because everybody else did their exit interview. Kyrie decided he was he was done. He was done with the season. So Kyrie kind of just congrats to Kyrie. He's getting better at breaking up franchises. Yeah, it's he's in record time.

The Mavs are in a weird spot. Yeah, the game, though, it was bizarre because a team that could still make the playoffs, being like, fuck it, we're not going to do it. And then on the other side, it was actually a perfect, like, mirror image of, like, competence. I know that people are mad about the Mavs move. But if you're trying to keep your pick, winning that game and potentially having a Hail Mary going into the playing game

and then having to win those games to get swept, like, I'm not. If I were a Mavs fan, I'd be fine with it. Maybe not a Slovenian Mavs fan, but every other Mavs fan, I'm fine with it. They should refund the people that flew over. They should. The bulls, they played the bulls in this game and the bulls should have tried to lose because they already have the 10th spot. They're already in the playing game.

And they also, if they don't make it to the playoffs, would want better odds. And it would have like, I think they're going to now end up like 14 or 15. They would have been 10th. So it was one team doing the correct thing, getting scrutinized for it. And the bulls being idiots, being like, oh, we want to get, we want to get everyone like more time together before we get swept by the box. Yeah. And so I, I just like the NBA has been heading this way and it wasn't

stopped when the process happened and all these things. So you can't be upset that this happened when you've kind of allowed it for a long time. You have seen a lot of people say that they need to fix the lottery and figure it out. No one really knows, understands how to fix it. I still think that there should be a tournament after the season over where all the teams that don't make the playoffs compete, the winner of that tournament then gets either the best odds in the lottery or they get the first overall pick. If it's better than the midseason tournament, if you want to try to add

more games and like, you know, more excitement, having these teams play at the end of the season that all suck and being like, who can, who can be the best would be fun. Yeah. Well, the Mavericks didn't even have the worst weekend, I would say, of all teams that were in playoff contention. I'd say that would go to the Timberwolves. Yeah, your Timberwolves. My Timberwolves, the future's looking great right now for him.

Rudy Gobert took a punch at Kyle Anderson in the huddle. According to Woj, Kyle Anderson told him to shut the fuck up bitch. Woj, he decided to censor the word fuck, but not bitch. That's an interesting editorial. The Disagreement started with Anderson telling Gobert to block some shots and then Gobert telling him to grab a rebound. And then Kyle Anderson said, shut the fuck up bitch. Gobert threw a punch and got sent home for the day.

So how are we feeling about your future? Well, well, we're talking about the process right now, right? It was it was good expected value. My expected value out of that bet was the right bet. Now, what do you mean? Process over results, right? Process guy, the process of putting that future in was the correct number. It was too good.

The number was too good. Turned out the expected value based on what the odds were when I put the bet in. I'd make that bet a hundred times. I think your line was like the if they could just win two series and get to the Western Conference final will all have a hedge opportunity, which would be only the second time the Wolves have ever done that in the history of their friendship. I'm going to retract that and say if they win one playoff series,

then I'll still be in good shape. Do you know what, though? KG said he loved to see it. He said he loved the the like a little bit of what was the exact quote, Hank. So you might be OK. Yeah, maybe it's maybe it's like training camp where in football, you get so sick of punching your own teammates in the face. Yeah, you want to hit somebody else in the face.

What did he say exactly? Nothing like a light scuffle to tighten up the screws before the playoffs. LFG. There we go. LFG. Yeah, I'm in. OK, I'm back in. It was a good bet. And then he responded to the playoffs plan. Whatever. Stakes up.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, it's good. I'm very excited about this. I think that you guys are going to be eating your words when it comes to the Timberwolves. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. They're ready to go. They're fired up.

So the seedings are set in the East. The Bucks won Celtics to Sixers. Three Cads for the Sixers. Celtics is what we all obviously in this room want in the second round. Hank, you weren't on the show last week. False. Oh, you came on for just a lot of water. That's right. Did you get that?

You came on for the lottery ball. You weren't on the show to talk sports. What did you think? Well, I could have talked about whatever you wanted to. You chose to talk lottery ball. What? It's your show. Well, no, I we had me on as a guest. We asked you to come on when we were going to talk sports

and you couldn't do that. But anyway, what do you think about the Celtics blowing the one seat? They we did talk about this. Oh, we did. Yeah. Oh, man, my mind's gone. They didn't blow the one seat. Oh, they didn't. No. Were they they were the one seat at one time, right? Yeah. For the majority of the season.

I guess. I mean, they didn't. I wouldn't say they blew the one seat. They could have had it. They did not. They had some injuries. You know, they didn't. They weren't. It sounds like Brooks. It sounds like you're describing road management going on. It wasn't as bad as X wasn't as bad as Brooks.

But no, I'm ready. I'm excited. You feel good. Yeah. I mean, Jaylen Brown's injury is a little bit weird. We're going to see what happens with that. He cut his hand picking up a broken face. He's a baseball player. You know, yeah, I'm just programmed whenever I see hand injuries to think whatever they're saying is fake.

So why is that? Because it's always it's always like the baseball injuries. Like, oh, you know, I fell out of a shower when Dustin Johnson fell down the stairs. Like some injuries just sound weird. Yeah. Picking up and hand ones are always weird because it's like that's also usually when people get frustrated, they like punch something.

And then they say, oh, I cut my hand on a vase. Yeah. I don't think he punched something, but it's just a weird coincidence. Well, so he got five stitches from picking up a vase, which seems like that seems like a lot of stitches for just grabbing something, doesn't it? Yeah, I think I could grab a vase and not get any stitches. I'm confident. Yeah.

I really do. I don't challenge. You should do the Jaylen Brown challenge. It's going viral. We should do that for PMTV this week. Can we set that up, Max? Just break a vase in the green screen room and see if we can pick it up without, you know what, I'll do you one better.

I'll do it blindfolded. I think I could pick up a vase blindfolded and not get five stitches. OK. I'm down to watch that. Yeah. Part of the party. Don't you play golf this summer? It's broke. I mean, but the difference between me and Hank is I would sacrifice playing golf this summer

if it make good content for PMTV. I think this is a future problem. Why not both? No, I mean, I will be great content for PMTV. I'll be able to play golf because I'll be able to pick up this vase without shattering my finger. We don't know when the video is coming out.

Well, no, but being. Yeah, we don't know when the real one videos. No, golf is no, Hank's right. Golf is good. So we're going to get that video. I never said we weren't going to get the video. What's the ETA on that? It's coming.

That bad, that bad boy is coming. OK, so Jalen Brown, vase injury, Max, how are you feeling about the Sixers? Sixers had a great win on Friday night that again, no one's talking about against the Hawks. Were the Hawks. Oh, the Hawks were playing. Sixers didn't play six guys.

Oh, OK. Jaden Springer, Jaden Springer revenge game. OK. It was awesome. We had Mac McClung got some time. Nice. Yeah. And I don't know. I'm fired up for the Sixers. I watched that whole game on Friday night

when I was expecting it to be the worst game of all time. And it was really fun. So we got to figure out what's the bet for the inevitable Celtic Sixers second round game. I think we should get that first. You guys want to kiss? Yeah. People were throwing out the idea

that you guys would do a shave your beard bet. Yeah. Losers shaves their beard. They go cross that bridge when we get there. But we can say right now, if we're planning out a fountain calendar, if you guys play each other in the second round, would you be willing to do that?

Why don't we just make it whichever team gets further? No. Loser has to shit. Yeah, why would we do that? No, no, we should do it. We should wait for it. No, but that's the same thing. No, we should wait.

No, because you should be penalized if one of your teams loses and doesn't even get smacked. You guys are just jumping the gun. You should just pump the brakes and relax and wait till the second round. We're about some shirts. We should put some shirts out. Yeah, we should.

We should use some shirts. Merches just talk to us. They want us to talk about the next round and the round after that. You think Peyton Pritzker? You guys are going to be rooting for the Celtics, obviously, right? Yeah.

Yeah, I'm going to be rooting for the Sixers to lose the maximum amount of pain. But no, but like in the Celtics, in the whole playoffs. But it's like, I'm not rooting for. If you want the best case scenario for this podcast, given that we have an award after Blake Griffin, Blake of the Year, same way, Brooks is in it. We want him to win.

We all want the Celtics. We all want. Is he in Blake of the Year? No, but he's a friend of the show. A recurring guest. George Nyang. George Nyang is also a recurring guest. What about that?

Kevin Love. Duncan Robinson. Duncan Robinson. Are they in Blake of the Year? Do we do season long awards for them? LeBron James. All right. I was just trying to.

I guess you guys are against our friends. No. We just listed all our friends. We're rooting for them all to have a really fun time in the playoffs. Pat Bev. Pat Bev. I would like to see what I think would be good for the show.

Hank, you have to admit that. CJ McCallum? Of course, CJ. Having Celtics Sixers play each other in a series. CJ of the Year. I didn't know we did that. I don't know. We should.

CJ of the Year. How's he? Hey. All right. In the West, it's going to be awesome. That's really. We'll do a whole preview with someone, but the Sons and Clippers playing in the first round.

And then, I mean, even the, even the Kings and Warriors, where everyone expects the Warriors to win that easily, like Kings, Kings can just play. No one believes in us. The entire playoffs. Yeah. Which is crazy. It's crazy to think that, so the Kings are, they're not going

to be favored in the series, right? If you look at what the odds are. No. So, but the Warriors can also play that nobody believes in this card too. Yeah. Well, the first time ever. No one believes in them on the road because they're terrible.

Yeah. They are bad on the road. I still think that it's Chris Paul's. This is his postseason to lose. Oh, I'd agree. If he doesn't get a championship, it's like, what are you doing, Chris Paul? Yeah.

This is the one time that you have. And then I can't wait for the Lakers to win the play-in game. I'm going to be like, watch out for the Lakers. Yeah. Watch out. Let's watch out. Chris, these Lakers would be great. We need to have Shannon Sharpe at every game.

Yep. Yep. That would be so good. Nobody's talking about the nuggets. No one's talking about the nuggets. That's true. They're flying under the radar. Just keep an eye on them.

No one's talking about the bucks either. All right. People are talking about the bucks. No one's talking about the bucks. People are definitely talking about the bucks. A lot of people. No one's talking about the Timberwolves. You should just mute the team name.

And then Corey. Yeah. I haven't talked about them. Yeah. What were you going to say? Warriors versus Kings is David versus Goliath in my fall rankings. Number one versus 124. No.

I love that. Oh, versus. Worse. Your overall power rankings of every team. Warriors for number one and 124 dead last for the Kings. I already apologized to the Kings when they clenched the playoffs, but. Oh, you probably get a lot of tweets. Yeah.

A lot from the Kings. I'm actually shocked we haven't had. We didn't have a terrible Kings take that people could dunk on us for. Besides Jinx. I mean, preseason, it was the right call. Doesn't that feel like something we would have done? Yeah. But I mean, who has Kings takes in general?

Well, I'm saying like, but we usually find the take that hasn't even been said and then have it somehow be wrong. Yeah, that's true. We are really good at that. That also is a byproduct of us not ever saying like, where do we think the Kings are going to finish? Because they probably would have said dead last. This is going to be their first game on ABC since 2007.

That's great. That's every team. The regular season, they air like a game a week. Okay, let's get to who's back of the week. And we have Scott van Pelt coming up. Who's back the week is brought to you by our friends at Coors Light. Sometimes the days can get so crazy that you forget to make time for fun. When that happens, you've got to choose to chill.

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Who's back in the week, Hank? I have a couple. My first one is me. I'm back. Thanks, Hank. Vacation was nice. I missed you, Hank. I just want to say, like I know, I listened to the podcast.

I heard, and I've heard over the years, you know, the hate and vitriol you guys have towards taking time off and you love the grind day in, day out, 365. And I wonder sometimes, like, am I wrong? Is it messed up of me of thinking this way? And then I go to places like San Diego and see how people live their life. And it's like, yes. These are my people. Vacation people.

Yeah. It's just a lifestyle that, like, sometimes I'm like, you know, everyone in this room has a different mindset. Maybe I am wrong, but then it's like, no, I'm just with the wrong people. Oh, okay. So you want to, is this you breaking up with us? No, no, no. Well, I was happy you were back, but I guess I shouldn't be.

This sounds like it's not you. It's me talk where you're like, you've discovered yourself on vacation. Like you did your Eat, Pray, Love out in San Diego. Also, now you want to be a beach person. Isn't San Diego like just a ton of like retired, like Navy in military? Like they deserve that. No, there's people everywhere. Okay.

Out and about. Bars are filled every night. It's just a different, it's a different, it's, it's an eye-opening experience. All right. So you don't want to be with us. That's fine. Do you want to leave? No, I do.

That's not. Hank, I want you to be happy. Right. But then I go on vacation and you guys just churn me constantly and make me feel bad for being on vacation. Because we miss you. This makes a lot of sense to me. It seems like you want to be just a full-time vacation person.

We miss you. No, I just think that, you know, taking a little bit of time off to spend with family and resting and recharging is good every once in a while. Well, I came back and I was getting, I mean, again, it is what it is. I fucked up. I lost everything. I screwed everything up. I screwed everything up.

No, you didn't. Brooks. Brooks screwed Brooks. Yep. In Playwell. But we love you. We miss you. That's why we chirp.

I miss you guys. I, I, you know, it wasn't nice to hear the things you were saying about me on a podcast. I wasn't there. What did we say? Yeah. I wouldn't say anything mean about you. I was your firefest because you asked me like five to do the podcast at five o'clock in the afternoon, the day of.

You weren't my fire. Hank, what is this joke? What did you miss about us? You were not my firefest. I love you. Hank, what did you miss the most about this podcast? Wouldn't it be worse if you left and we just pretended like you never were coming back? Wouldn't that hurt more?

No. Oh, okay. Well, then I'll start. It was a week. I was gone for like two days. I thought I was, I missed you so much. I would just look up and he's like, not there. I just miss you.

You fucking love you. Come and travel blogger and make vacationing your job. Yeah. It's a good idea. It's a good idea. It's a really good idea. We need more whale content. I miss you guys too a lot.

I just, yeah. Yeah. You could boondoggle like, I mean, that was or sidetracked, but Donny, everyone loves the wanton Don. We love the wanton Don and Dave is in Italy right now and he texted him some recommendations and Dave was like, did you live here? And he's like, yeah, for a year, Dave just had no idea. Now, to be fair, Donny, he did a lot of traveling around Europe during the year, but I knew he

lived there. He was stationed overseas. I knew he lived there. Hey, I don't want to. He's going to Everest. What did you? What did you miss the most about this podcast since you missed us so much? Just the camaraderie skies being dudes locker room.

Do you want to hug? Do you want? Do you want to hug? No, no hug. You should hug. No. I missed you. I missed you guys too.

A lot. A lot, a lot. I'm either who's back is the max is not Hank. We tried. He's not Hank. Max is great. No, but he's not you. See what I'm doing is I'm putting him down to put you up.

You also did that last week when he was well, you did also bet against Yukon in every tournament game. I don't like Yukon. I stick with some point. You're going to start after. No. No. My lose back week is the Bruins.

Yeah. Set the season record for wins in a season. I just fucked that up. But they put the record for wins in the season. Right. Pasta scored 60 goals. Our friend, my friend, John Fidelberg has been, you know, watching every game. Talking about how good they are, wondering where the bandwagoners are, why more people

aren't talking about the Bruins. So I'm here to start the bandwagon, hop right on just in time for playoffs, Bruins, Celtics. I did put the future in a long time ago. Bruins and Celtics both won the championship. That would be great. But I'm all Bruins for the rest of them at least month and a half. Yeah. It's shocking that other members of sports media aren't talking enough about the Bruins

setting. Would you say the season record for season wins? It's actually an incredible record in a single season. In a single season. The fact that they did that in a single season is the most impressive thing ever. 63 wins. Yeah. It's pretty crazy.

So welcome, Puck Hank. He's going to go for it. Congrats on the president's trophy. The president's trophy in hockey, I think, is a bad thing, though. I will say that. Like, that is something I'm worried about. Just, you know, as day one on the bandwagon, it's like, do you really want to be flaunting the president's trophy and everyone's faces like capital's fans used to do and then they

lose in the first round? That might be bad. That seemed like it was a personal shot. I thought you missed being on this podcast. The capitals won the president's trophy every year and lost in the playoffs first round like 10 times in a row. It's a fact, but the fact that you brought it up seemed like it was direct. It was personal.

No, I'm just bringing up historical context. Historical context is important. Yeah. Well, we won a Stanley Cup. Eventually, yeah. Yeah. So maybe eventually you'll get one, too. I already have one, but yeah, it'd be nice to get another one.

I am rooting for the Bruins. Bruins and Leafs. Those feel like they could conflict. Oh, big time. But it's the value. I got tremendous value. All right. Hank, let's talk some puck.

I think we're going to have Biz and Whitney on for a playoff preview. You should get some like really, really detailed Bruins questions from fights to ask them. I mean, just why don't they shoot more on the power play? Yeah. This is the best, the best hockey team of all time. Right. It would be a massive disappointment if they didn't win the Stanley Cup. Yeah.

In a single season. Yep. Chris Paul and the Bruins going for a legacy this year. Yep. All right. My who's back of the week is Harry Potter. So I just found out that before we started the show, they're doing an eight part series, just Harry Potter.

I have a confession to make. I'm same. Same. Same. I've never read a word of Harry Potter. Same. I've never seen a second of any Harry Potter movie. Same.

They're just trying to find new ways to make us watch it. And I still won't watch. They're going to just keep making new Harry Potter's in different. Like, all right, Harry Potter. Listen up. Who is it? What's her name? Okay, Rowling.

You put Harry Potter in a Twitter thread and I'll read it. Okay. The whole series. I might. So I won't actually do that. Maybe on the back of a cereal box. I've already committed to watching the Jersey Shore, which is one thing that I missed. I'm thinking about trying out Harry Potter.

But I feel like so when we're growing up. It's too old. Yeah. It felt like I was too old for it when it was young. Right. That's how old I am. Yeah. Because I'm really old.

I read the books. I was a kid. I was right in the age frame. And that's actually when I read books. I love the books. I hated the movies. Can I just watch Star Wars? That's the same thing, right?

Which I also haven't seen from start to finish. Same. It's going to be HBO. So it might be like, we should do it. What? Violent? No. But the books aren't violent.

No. It might get horny. Oh. But they're underage kids. Hufflepuff. They're high schoolers. But they were implied in the books. Yeah.

But I don't want to watch high schoolers get freaky. Yeah. Do you read the books? I read all the books. Sounds like you don't know what happened. No. There's plenty of implied bang in the book. What house are you, Billy?

I'm probably Slytherin. You're Slytherin. Yeah. What do you have? Hanks. Gryffindor. Hanks Gryffindor. Hufflepuff.

You run this entire company. Puff it up. Pretty much the extent. Isn't there a... Ravenclaw. There's like a staircase. Is there a staircase? Yeah.

They move. There's a sorting hat which is pretty much like the lottery ball machine. Yeah. Okay. So Harry Potter's back. Harry Potter's back. By the way, who's back? You're like a Dudley brother.

That felt mean. Oh, no. James just said that was mean. Oh, no. Oh, fuck. All right. You're both Dudley brothers? Just you.

Hagrid. Just me? You're Hagrid. That feels mean. That's a fat joke. Oh, no. Wait. It's all the way back.

Good to have you back. In the third one, he gets blown up, right? Oh. Doesn't he like fly up like a balloon? Oh, no. That was the ant. That was the ant. That's a football season.

Something like that. Is that like the Dudley boys? You can just be a Dudley boy. Hank, you should be rocked. Hank and Billy, you guys like totally missed out. I'm like, you could just completely insult us with Harry Potter references. Oh, big time. Never get them.

Big time. You should just keep doing that. People would love it. PFT works at Gringots. Oh, no. Oh, fuck. Is that the dwarves? Yeah.

That's so funny. That's so funny. I forgot to laugh, Billy. I got more. Okay. Go, go, go. Go, Hank. You too.

Big cats, Hagrid. Yup. Fat. What else you got? We got some more. I actually get Hagrid a lot. See you, Hank. Shit.

Hank's thinking. What do you got for us? Lay it on us. My pot. That's too far, Jake. Oh, no. That's a slur. Jake just uttered a slur.

He put a slur in the Harry Potter. You call that a slur? Yeah. You call that a slur? Yeah. You call that a slur? Yeah. You call that a slur?

Yeah. You put a slur in the Harry Potter. You call this mudbloods? Yeah. Oh, that sounds very racist. I wasn't calling it, but like. No, it sounds like you called us that. Okay.

Is that, is that what we are? I think he said over here was like mudblood city. Oh. That was a Tom Brennan moment. Yeah. Yeah, that was worse. Oh, you probably, I can't really think of many insults. You probably had the crumb in the world cup.

Oh. Oh, yeah. Well, you could also just do the killing curse. Just kill him if you want. No, I would never do that. Yeah. That's too far. I don't, I don't read nerd shit like that.

But the movie sucks. The, the show's probably gonna suck too. Okay. That's my take. Sounds like there are a lot of words. Books are good though. If they make a game of thrones. At least 200 pages.

Multiple. Oh, Butterbeer, right? There's always like, there's always like 400 girls lined up around the block. There's this one store in New York that sells Butterbeer and they all line up and then they take like 30 seconds to have their boyfriends take pictures of them with a Butterbeer. I would try Butterbeer. Yeah. Why not?

Two of my favorite things. Yeah. My other who's back the week is Crack. Crack's back in New York City apparently. Yeah. New York Post reported that there's. You saw it on the street? It never left.

Yeah. No. Crack was low key. Like it was, it was mid for a while. Crack fell off. And now apparently there's a resurgence in Crack. Uh-oh. In New York City.

So be on the lookout. Okay. That's one drug I don't think I'd ever want to try. Yeah. Bad vibes. Yeah. I agree. Crack's back to Crack.

Yeah. Yikes. That's nuts. Yeah. All right. My who's back is the state of Connecticut. They already were back, but they won another national championship. Quinnipiac.

Oh yeah. Place where we taught our first course beat Minnesota in the frozen four. Awesome. Awesome game winning goal. Off. It looked like a design play off the face off in overtime. So they scored it with like 10 seconds into the overtime. Quinnipiac was.

From everything I understand was like a dog shit, dog shit, uh, hockey school for a very, very long time. And they've basically ripped off the most wins in hockey in the last two years. And now they have a title and unfortunately Minnesota just continues their sadness. Yeah. Respirosity with Wisconsin. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, the Wisconsin has more state hockey Minnesota. That is the, you know, the school. They have five national titles in hockey. Yeah. Wisconsin has six. They're going to party so hard at Quinnipiac. They might as well just cancel the rest of the semester there. I mean, pretty fucking crazy that the state of Connecticut just went back to back.

Yep. Like that. Uh, okay. Go cats. Bob cats, right? Uh, yeah, I think so. My who's back is Shaq. So remember that FTX case?

Uh, there's a bunch of celebrities who are sponsoring it and being spokespersons. What FTX case? You know, I'm just kidding. Oh yeah. With the SPF. Okay. Uh, you know, like Pineapple Express, Seth Rogen's character. Yep.

He like serves papers. Yep. So it turns out Shaq is the last person on that list. I think it's like 30 to 40 celebrities who's avoided getting served papers. That's awesome. It seems like Shaq would be very easy to track down. The easiest. Yeah.

Maybe the easiest person in the world to track down actually. So allegedly Shaq's been avoiding them, like getting away from them, just knocking the papers. And he, someone connected to Shaq or a random person texted the serving group in Texas. Shaq lives in the Bahamads. You stupid fuck. Give Beth Shaw my regards. Uh, Beth Shaw is the server's, uh, wife. And so apparently someone allegedly connected to Shaq, maybe threatening the server.

And, uh, yeah, Shaq's nowhere to be seen. That's cruel. Isn't he doing NBA on TNT? Yeah. He's like. Lock that down. Yeah. Shaq Fu, he's avoided all the servers.

He probably just swats it when they try to serve. Yeah. Isn't he going to be, do they go, they go on the road. Oh, that would be awesome if it happened in the middle of the taping of that. You don't be sick. Like Kenny Smith gets up, runs to the big screen and meets Shaq there. And Kenny Smith serves him with the subpoena. Yeah.

I just don't get why Shaq's saying such a hard time. Yes. I feel, I'm not feeling bad for Shaq. He did make a ton of money. How the hell is SBF, like getting really nothing, like he's out of jail and like Shaq's getting tracked down by like a bunch of dudes with papers. Well, SBF, he's arrested, right? No, he got out.

Yeah. But he's, but he on probation, like is he on parole? I don't know. It sounds like they already, they already served SBF. Yeah. He's, but isn't he going to jail? Yeah. But no, they don't know yet.

Right. He might get out of this. Right. But he hasn't. But Shaq might not be going to jail either. He paid the bail. He's out probably with a monitor. Right.

So he has gotten it worse than Shaq, which he should. Yeah. Right. But Shaq's like on the run, like, come on. I think what Billy's saying is that like Shaq is too friendly to be really charged with a crime. Like, come on, leave Shaq alone. Yeah.

We've just let Shaq chill. He's like done enough to like avoid the papers. Yeah. Agreed. By evading it, there should be like, there should be a time to be a time of it. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a game.

All right, Jake, finish this off and we'll get to SVP. Yeah. Continue with the hockey theme. My who's back is our first responders. Yeah. Game week on Long Island. New York's bravest. New York's finest.

In Long Island. Clashing at UBS Arena. Sold out UBS Arena Saturday. Coverage begins at 4.15 p.m. Eastern time. Battle of the Badge. Who are you? Barstle.TV. I'm down the middle.

You have to be. You've got to pick a side. In the booth with Biz. But yeah, if you want to get hyped for this game, go to the spit and trick with YouTube. Battle of the Badge documentary. They're behind the scenes crew. Led by Sean. Mike helped as well.

Everyone. It was unreal. Like it'll get you very excited. They're going to fight. Yeah, there's some fights in this game. They are going to fight. Which is always fun to watch. Yeah.

Like these guys have probably thought about who they're going to fight well ahead of time. Yeah. This has been planned out. So it's an annual game. It's an emotional pregame ceremony. Then when the puck drops, battle. Game time.

Yeah. Let's go. So tune in Barstle.TV Saturday afternoon. Love it. Very excited. Very, very excited. Who you rooting for Billy? NYPD.

Okay. Nice. I don't. I think, well, I think I'm doing the in-between periods. So I don't think I'm allowed to. I think I'm going to just do the Jake thing. Just be like neutral. Yeah.

But also firefighters are awesome and their trucks are cool. Yeah. I'm just thinking about the trucks. The trucks are cool dude. But also I don't want to get arrested. But the trucks are cool. I do get arrested. I hope both sides win.

Yeah. There you go. I hope both sides win. All right. Let's get to SVP. Talk a little more masters. He was at Augusta all week. Great stuff with him.

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Okay, we now welcome on one of our favorite guests, great friend. It's a tradition unlike any other Scott Van Pelt live from the Augusta airport. Here he is. Let's just hop right into it. John Rom, man, is he strong. So that's your golf observation? Is John Rom strong? Well, it's a Brian Windhorst tweet as well when he said, and man is LeBron strong, and

man is he strong. So, but he, like, you're watching this, we're playing a weird tournament because of the rain and everything, 30 holes today. John Rom, when you're watching it and he takes over the lead, was there any doubt in your mind that he was going to give that up? Like he just feels like a killer that just doesn't give up those type of moments. That's the exact word that Andy North fellow badger used afterwards. He's a killer.

And not every guy out here is kind of wired like that. Rom just wants to squash you like a bug. And the thing about Brooks was that you could just sense it was like a racehorse that was ahead, but was just slowing down. And you could just tell that he had to make birdies and he couldn't. And no, I mean, when they flipped the lead and then when Rom made birdie on eight to go ahead two, I mean, look, anything can happen here, I mean, but Rom just, and it's boring. It's kind of super inside golf, but like just technically what he did until like on 12 you

got to fire over the, you know, hit it over the bunker, don't mess with the flag. Perfect shot. 13. Over the green, down and chip it down, make a birdie. Perfect. 14. He allows you drive and hit an incredible shot. He just did everything technically perfect and nobody could really do anything to get

close to them. And like Phil shooting 65 was insane. But I mean, you know, to answer your question, no, once Rom had the lead, it was, it was a wrap. And the course kind of changed a little bit after the, after the weather hit on Saturday. We saw when they called it off, there were, there was just standing water everywhere. I couldn't even believe that they were still playing when they decided to suspend play. From a real golf point of view, because we're idiots that we just watched on TV.

We just, we screamed like, go Brooks, let's go Brooks. And we don't really know what's going on out there. What was it about the course that changed that was at a disadvantage for Brooks and helped Rom? I don't know that it was the course, honestly, I mean, well, look, Brooks benefited massively as did anybody who went late, early Thursday, Friday, and that's just 100% luck of the draw. You either get the good weather or you don't.

And Brooks in that part of the draw did. And then like Rom and Tiger and JT and whoever else was out there, like Saturday, I can't explain to you how bad it was. I mean, relative to, I mean, I've been coming here for 20 something years. I've been here when it's cold. I've been here where it rains. I've never been here where it was that cold and that rainy. And like Thomas told me today, he's like, I absolutely smoked my drive on 18.

I had 240 yards to get home on the 18th hole. Like that's, that's not a 240 yards second shot for these guys. And so I just thought, Rom, I mean, look, John Rom is so strong. He was really strong in the shitty weather on Saturday. And then more than anything, like when they came out Sunday morning and Rom had a putt for birdie and Brooks had a putt for par, Brooks missed, John made, just like that. It goes from four to two. And I mean, that's just big momentum shift as you can have.

And Brooks just couldn't make a birdie when he didn't make the birdie on two. And Rom made the birdie on three. You could just, I mean, he just, like I said, that's the racehorse analogy. It's just, you could feel Brooks fading. And I don't think it was the course as much as it was just, he couldn't, he just couldn't, he felt like a little bit like Rory at St. Andrews. He couldn't stretch it out. Right.

And there's a, there's a freedom in trailing in majors. I don't know how to explain it or why it is, but it almost feels like it's just better to be the, whoever's in second. It also just felt like all Sunday and Brooks did not play well. So we're not making excuses, but it felt like he just couldn't get that one bounce that like, you see one good thing happen. It's like, all right, let's go do this. It felt like every time was just a little bit off, a little bit here.

So shot was a little short. He just couldn't get that one bounce. A hundred percent. Like the ninth hole, there's so many greens out here. If you, like, like on 14, the shot, Rom hit was nuts and it, and it rolls to exactly the right spot. Like the shot, Brooks hit on nine is an inch from not getting caught up in the fringe. And if it doesn't, it rolls to, I don't know, five feet.

Like he could easily, it's easily in birdie range if that happens. I don't know how short he was from being on the green on four, but it didn't seem like a ton. You're right. He was just fractionally off. But I mean, Rom is just an absolute monster right now. And you know, like I said, what you get asked beforehand, oh, who do you like in this? And I actually, I said Brooks, I like Brooks a lot.

You and I were talking about hedging. Do you hedge? Nope. Never hedge. Team no hedge. Team no hedge. Wish I did. Yeah.

No, no. Team hedge. Yes. Yes. Maybe that's the thought. But I said to, I forget which show, but I just said, like, why, why pick anybody other than Rom or Sheffler? Cause it's going to be Sunday night and one of them will win and we'll just go, well,

no shit. Of course they were going to win. It's that that's who they are. They're just, they're better than anyone else right now. And you know, here we are. And it's John Rom. Now, if you're a Brooks stand, such as ourselves, is it fair to say, can I say like Brooks is officially back?

Is he back? Yes. 100%. Nice. That feels good. Nice. That feels good to say. Like it was, it was, I was, it was good to talk to him Friday.

Um, like I've always, I've always liked him. He's got like kind of an athletic arrogance that's different than a lot of golfers, which maybe some people think's off-putting. I don't. I mean, he's just over it. He, you know, he, I want to play great majors because I like them in other tournaments. I just aren't that interesting to him. And he's healthy.

And if he's healthy, uh, he's, you know, Rom's strong, Brooks is strong too, man. Yeah. Um, I just, did you see how much I just spit there? That was a lot of spit. It was good. It was good. It was good. A lot of moisture all weekend in the gospel.

Not really. Pimento cheese. Yeah. Spittal right there. But he's really strong. Not as much spit. And, and absolutely, absolutely he's back. And it's more fun, uh, for in the game when, when Keppke is in the mix, I mean, the dude

won four in like 18 months and he had a chance. What do you finish? He finished second on his own. That's the second runner up here. So yeah, unequivocally, Brooks kept it back. So something I love about the masters in, and this is going to be a little bit curveball because they do a great job of celebrating the champion and that becomes a prevailing story and a lot of the other stuff just gets kind of washed away.

There's not a lot of other noise, you know, the live everyone thought it was going to be a big thing. It really wasn't. Uh, but go ahead. My, my one question, one story that I would like for everyone to talk about, uh, Patrick Cantley is the slowest golfer of all time where people pissed after and extra question at Augusta could, could Brooks and John Rahm have just played through? Could they just spend like, guys, we're just going to go ahead.

Like this is too much. If you're at a muni and you're, you know, stopping the cart person and, and, you know, lugging back some suds, you're absolutely airmailing the group in front of you like, let's go. Yes. I mean, Hovland and Cantley took forever and there's, there's a certain amount of, I'll give you some latitude. It's the masters.

It's a big deal. I get that you have a routine and you stick to it. I also get that you're not in the lead and they are, and they're sitting on their golf bags like while we're young, right? What are we doing? And good God, they took forever. Kepka said afterwards, like he's, I think he, I mean, he was being, maybe, maybe John did go to the bathroom seven times, but he's like, I think Rahm went to the bathroom seven

times and we were still waiting. And like, we're the lead group by a lot. Um, you gotta, you gotta have a better sense of sort of, I mean, I think anybody that plays golf, you know, I like, I always hate it. I always feel like if someone, like God, someone's on the tee, like, let's go, let's go. And this is the masters. Right. They're like six ahead of us and, and we're grinding over this four footer.

I mean, no, you, I don't, I, technically, I don't think that you can play through. What would have been interesting to what happened if they did, but it was, uh, yeah, that took, um, entirely too long for the second to the last group to play. What are the rules in terms of a shot clock? Is there, is there somebody there with a stopwatch that's counting? Theoretically, I mean, you look, you can get put on the clock. Um, that happens in golf. I don't, I can't remember it happening here, but it's, it's one of those things.

Like, you know, this annoys me when I watch basketball now and I'm not rules. McJohnny, like I don't care about a lot of stuff. But when you, like, when you hand the ball to somebody for the inbound, right? You, there's the officials always doing that. Like one, two, like you're supposed to count or on the free throw, you're supposed to get 10 seconds, one, two, three. No one counts. Like no one ever counts.

And I'm thinking, well, if it's a rule, is it a rule or is not a rule? Well, you kind of just don't know. Well, when it comes to people being on the clock, it's not like there's a big ass pitch clock, but there ought to be. Cause if there was, there would have been like somebody with a horn going, like you either have to putt or you're, we're going to get a one stroke penalty. Yeah. Yeah.

It was crazy. But, but, so there is, yes, there is a clock in theory, but when you're on it, when you're not, it's more just sort of somebody kind of like, let's go, what, you know, let's, let's get it moving kind of a thing. But I don't know. I don't think anyone was on the clock today, but God, if they were, it would have been an issue, a problem. Did you get a chance to catch up with Phil after the round?

Cause it seemed like Phil was in like alpha fill mode, grabbing people's asses, fig jam. Like he was, it was peak Phil that we saw. He was dressed in all black. He had the frosted shades on. He looked like he was enjoying himself. Yeah. My authority, Cartman shades from like he was in full fill mode.

Uh, we had a good talk on, I don't remember what day it was. We caught up and we're, it was, had nothing to do with anything. Just life stuff. And, and, um, I kept, I kept looking at him like, when did you get so thin? It's nuts. Uh, but then like, look, I'm going to be honest, the live guys had a good week. Kepka played well, Reed played well. Phil had the lowest round he's ever had in his life.

Um, but the fill things totally out of left field. I mean, no one, it wasn't like any, but anyone beforehand was like, Hey, Phil, huh? Yeah. Phil future get, take Phil top five. Like no one was saying that to anyone. So there's a certain amount of just people play well here. Fred couples set a record, the oldest guy to make, uh, the cut.

Um, and Phil's one of those guys, I said to North afterwards, I, I, I think Phil will play well here forever. He just has the kind of game that works, but I didn't see him when it was done. Uh, but he played an unbelievable round of golf, but unfortunately, like no one anywhere close to the lead did anything. Like Phil got to second for a time because everyone in the middle just kind of played like cheeks. Yeah.

Yeah. It's true. All right. So speaking of old guys playing at Augusta, we had this debate before you came on. Uh, can Tiger Woods ever win another masters? It would take a lot, man. I mean, it would, I mean, just, it would take his body, not betraying him. And it would take Sheffler, Ram, Kepke, Thomas, Spieth, Cantley, Shawfley, Phil.

And if you want, I mean, it would just take everyone not playing as well as him. I mean, so I just, look, I mean, this is the obligatory. Well, never count Tiger was out. So that was when I took, yeah. And I get, and look, I mean, of course we look, he did it in 19, but I was before this awful car wreck and it's just, I don't know, man. It just sucks seeing what happened at the, the PGA where he just kind of can't get around and then hear of the same deal.

So it just, it feels like that's probably done. Could he get, could he get the exemption though to use a cart? That's what everyone asked. I don't, he wouldn't do it, man. Yeah. Like it's just, that's a like game of golf kind of thing. He just, he just wouldn't do it. He's just too proud to do, to like, no, I hear no champions tour or whatever.

And you can zip around and that's sure, why not? But like here, no. Yeah. Yeah. I would see that Tiger having too much pride. The other story from the weekend, the weather, the trees, the stoppage, how many, how many guys are on the ground screw to Gus? Cause they're insane.

They might be the best at what they do than versus anyone else in the entire world, any profession. Facts, 100% facts, like trees fell down and a half an hour. It's like it never happened. I have no idea. They, the, the thing about Augusta national is that they have on, they have a bottomless well of resources to just make things happen that don't make sense. Like, I mean, like the last year, if anyone watched the par three contest,

which is actually a lot of fun, like you come back a year later and there was a brand new par three course, like they moved stuff all over the place. There's how outages that weren't there. I mean, and this was like in six months. I mean, it's not reasonable. You can't do that. Well, they did. Right.

These trees fall down. And then like the next day it's like probably new trees were there. I don't know. Or if they weren't, all the other ones were gone. It, it happened a few years ago. Like a, one of the trees on Magnolia lane was down. And then I think if I have it right, I, I swear the next day there was just a new one.

What do you get? Where do you get a new mature Magnolia tree? Like I got in this, like I planted his alias in my yard. They still have those shitty little yellow tags on them and won't grow. Right. What am I doing wrong? I, you know what I need? I need the Augusta ground screw to come to my house and sort out my yard situation.

But you're, I mean, we're kidding, but we're not. Like they do stuff here that makes no logical sense. They're incredible. Like just even seeing on Saturday, the puddles and everything, all the water. It's like, oh, that'll be fine tomorrow. Like no problem. Yeah. And you come Sunday and the sun comes out and the wind starts blowing.

And it's like yesterday didn't happen. I, I, I don't know. It's, there's a lot of magic that goes on here that's hard to kind of figure out. Yeah. And how many lives were saved by the fact that you're not allowed to have a cell phone out there. So every, no joke. So the tree falls and nobody's looking at their phones.

True. They're like, whoa, that could have been a disaster. There, and we were on the air and like we were, I mean, and obviously there's like feeds now. So it's obviously on the internet, but then in terms of the television broadcast, we were simply trying to make certain everyone was okay and miraculously they were. And I think from one of the angles, I mean, I think two trees fell around a person. Yes.

Which how's that possible? And how did they not get smashed by a tree? Just thank God they weren't. But I mean, I was talking to a number of different players like Keith Mitchell. You should get him on. You love him. Cashmere is an awesome dude. And he's on the 15th hole.

And I, I mean, it's a delay and I text him. I said, did you see that? He's like, my heart stopped because his family's out there and he's trying to figure out, like, is everyone all right? And again, they were, if, if like tiger's groups there, or if there were cell phones, 100% people are really hurt bad or were really, or worse. And so again, thank God that didn't happen. But I don't even know what, I don't know.

It wasn't that windy. I don't know what that was about, man. It was like something just came zipping through and all of a sudden trees fell over. Like that's never happened. Yeah. At the time I've ever been here. The live tour guys had their, their bone saw guys out there. Just cut it down real quick.

Yeah. But seriously, shout out to ground screw. They deserve a big shout out for the entire weekend because it didn't feel on Sunday. We were just watching what we always love Sunday at the Masters looked perfect. Other story I want to touch on real quick. How crazy is it that Sam Bennett finished top 10? Put that into perspective. Amateur like guys aren't supposed to do that.

What they invite like four or five amateurs every year. They usually miss the cut. Like when you're watching that, you're like, how is this, how is this kid hanging with the big dogs as long as he did? It was nuts. And I mean, does he, I said on the broadcast, like every, everyone just thinks he looks like Dabo, right? He looks like Dabo.

He also kind of looks like J. Buehner, I feel like. Fair. Well, I think, is that the official Texas A&M beard? Like it's just like, it's like, or is it just like an SEC? Chen beer, whatever it is. He came in the Butler cabin. It was really cool. Like I forget that.

I mean, that's like a sacred place to go in the sport. Yeah. And he's in there and he's like, he's told me, he said, I'm more nervous now sitting here with you than I was out there. And he was playing with Sheffler and the pervert. Yeah. We don't say that. We don't say that.

We don't say that. It's spicy meatball. Oh, no, no. Mama Mia. I'm talking about the meatball. Yeah. Somebody gave him a meatball. Yeah.

We already told that person who shout out spicy meatball, they can come watch the Masters with us every year because they're probably never allowed back in Augusta National. No, I think that's fine. But again, apologies for the mis, for, he's obviously not a pervert. But he played alongside a top 10 player in Max and the reigning champion and he was better than both of them for two days. But he did that thing, fellas, where he came into the press center

and said that the course he played, the amateur arm was harder than Augusta National. You know, you don't want to tempt the fate like that. Like DeShambo came in a couple years ago and said par there for him was 67. And things haven't gone great for him since. There's just certain things that Augusta National, you figure out, right? That you just don't want to tempt. You don't want to tempt fate. You don't want to wag your finger at anybody.

And so Bennett did that. But I think it was totally harmless. He wasn't like saying, I'm better than this. But I think the kid came there thinking I might win. He got back to Butler Cabin and he won any one low amateur, which is awesome. I mean, it was an incredible story. And if you go down the list and look at that, how many different people he beat. I mean, that's an incredible accomplishment.

But and the number of times I've been there, like amateurs that are in the final group, like I don't can't remember any. So that was an incredible storyline for sure. Yeah, Scott. I'm curious to know as an Augusta veteran, what do you look forward to eating the most when you go back besides the big Texas cinnamon roll? When you're when you're out there on the course, are you a pimento cheese guy? Now, chicken salad on wheat, chicken salad on wheat is low key, high key, the go to.

And the vets, the vets know that. So go chicken salad on the honey wheat. They replaced the brioche this year, which is kind of controversial. And then people like, well, it's a masters, they probably figure it out. It's that's the one you want. That's the go to. Um, so I probably had, I don't know, not double digits, but a lot of those, including one, like walking out of the media center, just like an absolute animal.

I always just, I feel like you don't eat and then you're starving. And then through the years, whether it was with Rocillo or Stanford, Steve, I've made it pretty clear it's not a treat to eat with me. And I just always look up and I feel like people like, Jesus, look at this guy. Like keep your poise, big boy. It's like chicken salad. It's like, yeah, it's a bad scene. But speaking of the big Texas.

Oh yeah. That one here. Let's get it. Moment of truth. Now this is a tradition unlike any other. Yeah. No. Are we out?

Wait, let's, I got to turn it around, right? Is it not there? Oh no, someone ate it all. Look, they ate all the big Texas. No, it's bad. I think that's, wait, what's Mrs. Freshly's donut sticks? Glazed. We think that's, is that a move?

Yeah, I think that's a new one. Yeah. Wait, this isn't your story. There was a guy that's out there working. And first of all, it's just, it's awesome. People like love you on PMC, which is great. AWLs out there all over the place. But there's one guy that was there working at Augusta Nasha, literally comes over to me

and is like, hey, you got to get the big Texas tonight? I hope so. And think how crusty he's going to be to find out that it's, that all there is is the Mrs. Freshly's. I'll bet Nance got there before you. Yeah. This is how. Hello, friend.

Yeah, this is how we make new traditions. So it's Mrs. Freshly's donuts. But wait, I want to be honest with you. Like if we, and we talked about this, I feel like in years past, I mean, it's a murderous row of treats. Like there's, everything else is just, is high level. Like not just Fritos, but chili cheese Fritos. Oh, that's fast.

Not just, not just Cheetos, Cheddar Jalapeno. Cheddar. And that's good. It's good. Yeah, but, but there's no big Texas. Yeah. And you know what's, again, your listeners are the best as you know. But all year, like this, all year long, somebody will see it and you,

how many, how many times do you get a tweet? Yeah. Where someone just sends you a picture of a big Texas. It's great. It's with a smile. Why are they not sponsoring? I mean, I know you guys are doing just fine, but I feel like, I feel like big Texas is missing massive opportunities to just send you them in bulk.

I mean, the problem is with big Texas, it is the closest treat that you can have that will like substitute for a meal. In a pinch, but you basically have to call in sick the next day. If you're eating a big Texas for dinner that night. There's a, there's a density that just is, is rare. Yeah. It's the heaviest snack. Now, Scott, I want to give you the opportunity to clear something up because

I saw somebody claim that when Kevin Na with Drew on Thursday, there's a coworker that we have that bet on him. I heard a rumor that you were doing the gritty across the bridge there at Augusta because you were so happy that Kevin Na with Drew from the tournament. Is that true? What? And that your head was spinning around. Yeah.

Oh, wait. No, that is that Frank? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We sorted this out with Frank.

We, there was somebody, there was a detente. No, I FaceTimed you. I FaceTimed you with Frank and you guys hash it out. And then unfortunately you broke the detente and started celebrating on camera when Justin Verlander got hurt. Your head was spinning, Scott. We all saw it. Here's what I'm going to do.

Here's what I'm going to do for Frank. I'm just going to embrace the heel thing. Yes. I'll just, I'm going to openly root against. No, you know why I can't do that? You know why I can't do that? Because I don't do it and all people do is fire at me and say that I'm, my head's spinning.

Why are you, are you proud? Are you happy now? And so I can't win. Yeah, can I give you some advice? Here's, I think, how you should play it. Because you're in a battle right now with an unbeatable foe. You just, you just have to completely ignore all of it. I mostly do.

And then, and then people took me seriously when I was like, you can't talk about my kids. I knew you were joking. And then people, and then people were like, you know what it is? It's the recilo. Recilo's the best at the joke that somehow people don't understand it's a joke. And then he just ignores it.

That's his favorite. His favorite is where he can drop something and then people react to it. And he just walks away like, see what I did? Yeah. Not me. But I'm dealing with Frank and all of the people that love, and everyone loves Frank, I'm team Frank. I don't dislike the Mets.

My head's not spinning. I don't celebrate anyone's injury. It doesn't matter because Frank's going to blame me and I'm fine. You can be, I'm happy to be the person Frank blames. But there's no winning either way. So we'll just have to just ignore it and hope it goes away. The good news is Buster only is still number one on the list. And the best Frank story is that he started ranting to me one day.

He always says Buster only is just reporting about the Mets and he's smiling. And I was like, what are you talking about? And then I went and looked and in Buster only's Twitter avatar, he's actually smiling. So Frank was like, he's smiling every time he tweets about the Mets. So I was like, well, that's his Twitter avatar. But here's the thing. This is a secret.

I'm going to, this is breaking news. Buster hates the Mets. Yes! Yes! All right, well Scott. Wait, wait, wait. This is even, this is, Buster hates Frank. He doesn't hate, he doesn't hate Frank.

And he, he, he hates neither Frank nor the Mets, but I said it and I'm sure you can edit it in a way that- Yes. No, we would. Yes. Now it's the Mets. Oh yeah. No.

He's fucking voodoo dolls of me now. Because I had the, I had the stupidity to make the joke. It's just a joke. All right. So Scott, I know you got to go. Last question, rowback question. R-H-O-B-A-C-K dot com. Use code take 20% off your first purchase.

Q-Zips, polos, joggers. I'm wearing the joggers and wearing the hoodie. Best clothes out there. Promo code take for 20% off your first purchase. Last question. How much of your personal wealth have you paid to get Hunter Dickinson to Maryland? We just, we just need to know the number. What's the number?

And we'll, we'll figure it out. All right. Listen. And here's, and here's the thing. If that happens, I will be the greatest hypocrite of all time. Because he was the number one heel in the conference. Oh yeah. He hated Maryland.

He made it his personal mission to troll Maryland at every turn. And then if, like, if he comes there, then everyone's like, oh, that's awesome. Let's go, go Terps, go Hunter Dickinson. So we're just, we just need to know what the number is, you know, but he could be trolling us now and go someplace else. And then, you know, that, that's, that's kind of, I think in every Maryland fans back of their mind, they're like, is he really maybe going to do this?

Or is this all just an incredibly elaborate ruse? I guess we'll find out. Yeah. You guys will be very hateable because I don't hate Maryland, but if Hunter Dickinson's on there and he knows how I feel, because he does the same to Wisconsin. So get ready for that, but you'll be fine with it. All right.

Well, Scott, thank you as always. You are the best. We appreciate it. And hopefully you get home safe and have fun with the Mrs. Daisy's doughnuts. Yeah. I'm just, I'm going to make a, I'm going to make a decision here. I might go fruitables, maybe fun, funnables, fruity snacks. I'm like, that's a total departure.

Those are good. All right, boys, be good. I appreciate you. And Buster, Buster doesn't hate the best. Yeah. We cut that part. Okay. Scott Van Pelt was brought to you by ZipRecruiter.

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Hank, I feel like this has been a tumultuous reentry. I am happy you're back. I hope you get this. I actually am rooting for you in this specific case. Let's go Hank. Because, you know, it's kind of like you don't see someone for a while, a long time, and then you see him again and it's like, what do we, how do we converse?

How do we, but we're back. Yeah, let's go. You called me fat. That was when I knew I was like, my guy's back. Or you literally asked for it. Yeah, no, I did. I wanted it. Give me more.

But now you're mad. No. No, I want more. I like, I think it's funny when you guys roast us in Harry Potter because we don't understand. No idea. Yeah. It's people will love that portion of the show.

So Hank, have you ever gotten this? Nope. Have you ever gotten it? Nope. How many people in San Diego asked you? Not as many. Not as many as you said. No, those are your people.

Yeah. Those are your people. Okay. We did make a bet though. Yeah. Should we say that? Yeah. Hank, what did you agree to if you don't get the lottery ball

before the end of next football season? I will get a tattoo of the lottery ball machine, but if I pass you in total victories by the end of next football season, you will get a lottery ball machine. Yeah. First you have to win one. Trans stamp.

You do. Yeah. That's awesome. Jake, how many do I have? Four? PFT has four. Yeah, that's a lot. Okay, it's a deal, Hank.

You got this, Hank. I'm rooting for you. Wait until Hank gets it once. No bet. No, no bet. Or if I get, even if, what's four? What if I tie you? I think he has to, I think he has to get four.

Well, PFT could also. No, he has to get four. Let's say four. No, no, it's a head to head. But what if we tie? I think he should get the tie. Four's a lot. If we tie it four.

And you keep getting it. Yeah, yeah. If you tie it any number. I mean, I'm going to get at least three more times. If you tie it any number. It's very easy to get this. Super Bowl Sunday, a regular season. Super Bowl Sunday.

Super Bowl Sunday. Football season. And a tie goes to Hank. Okay. That's fair. Yeah, deal. Okay. Have you ever gotten this?

Nope, 90 seconds. Try to chase me down. Oh, that was a false start. No. Oh, no, Hank. False start. Right off the bat. Did you do that on purpose though?

You'd never know with him. No, he didn't. I think he might have. No, he didn't do that on purpose. Numbers. Six in it. I'm going to go with 96. 18.

I'll go 17. 98. 20. 96. This would be great. 41. Is that your second number, Hank? Nope.

Is it your third? Nope. Fourth? Nope. Fifth? Nope. Six? I don't know.

Love you guys. The Easter Bunny has actually nothing to do with Christianity and was a pre-Christian pagan symbol. Do I do one more? Yeah, let's do one more. This counts. 17. 96.

I'm going to go with 98. 20. This counts, Jake. Official. But would you want- Oh, there's one less ball. Would you want to win this? No.

77. That was yesterday. That was Friday's show. Yeah, damn. And back to back shows. 77. Are we sure 69's still in there? Yes, Billy.

69's still in there. Oh, I'm feeling so little, wait. I'm feeling like it's okay. Say it out to me. Thanks for letting me do these 8-bit songs. Say it out to me. Thanks for letting me do these 8-bit songs. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me. Take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me. Take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me. Take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me. .