Pardon My Take - Shark Tank's Daymond John

Episode Date: December 12, 2018

Monday Night Football recap and playoff scenarios before Week 15. (3:10-13:20) Hot Seat/Cool Throne including Gen Z is getting called out for making a bad name for millenials. (13:21-26:57) Shark Tank's Daymond John joins the show to talk about his business career, what being on Shark Tank is like, and Big Cat/PFT pitch him a bunch of ideas and offer their brains to be purchased. (29:24-57:38) Segments include Embrace Debate,(59:47-1:03:28) Not to brag but we called it Big Ben,(1:03:29-1:04:41)) Stay Woke Steph Curry,(1:04:42-1:08:52) and Guys on Chicks (1:08:53-1:17:21). You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have SharkTanks, Damon, John, one of the best random interviews we've done all year. It was one of those ones we walk away from where like, holy shit, that was a lot of fun. So much so, he hit us up on email and was like, I want to hire you guys. Listen, it was kind of like a desperate move on his part.

He hit us up within an hour. Be careful, he can still give us money. We're called the desperate. It was great to hear from him. Yeah. You know what it was? It was very diligent follow-up I am. I think we just had to send us a thank you note so quickly after this interview.

Yeah, we just vibed. When you vibe with someone, you vibe with someone. We vibe with Damon, Damon, Damon, John. It's still struggle with us. We get to the bottom of that of how to pronounce his name in the interview. We have some HotSea Cool Throne, and because it's Wednesday, we have guys on chicks. Before we get to all that, PFT, go ahead buddy, yup, it's fucking that time of the week.

You know what time it is. Oh, you know you like it, big cat. You know when I talk to you about the cheese and the shells and the sauce, sauce, sauce, you know that it gets you all moistened up in your ear. I want to talk to you guys out there about Velveta shells and cheese. It's going to satisfy every post-game craving that you have. Every single one fills you right up. You talk about filling.

The game day ritual begins early for all you college football fans. You got tailgates at start of the morning. You stand, you make your voices heard from the stands through every minute of the game. Whether it's either scorching and humid or it's cold and rainy, it's wet, wet, wet, just sloppy, sloppy, sloppy. And watching out a bar out there with friends can be just as intense. After a long day of being an SEC, an SCX fan, fans want nothing more than their couch and to indulge in nothing but the good stuff.

If I'm a little concerned that they leave out Big 10, Big 12, Pack, any, you know what, no matter what conference, no matter what state you're in, Velveta will put you in a good state afterwards. You're just going to want a cigarette, maybe check Twitter, take a nap, make a sandwich. You know that feeling that you get after you eat Velveta shells and cheese. It's got that unique richness, creaminess, cheesiness, and meltiness in the shells pulled with the creamy cheese sauce, delivering a cheesier bite. It's like a little cheese gusher.

It's a craveable post-game snack. You a gusher, big cat? Yeah, just stop. You know you like to gush. Quick and easy to prepare with no additional ingredients necessary, you just boil the water, get it all hot, cook the shells, moisten them up, you stir in the cheese sauce, and that is perfection. So satisfy your post-game craving with the cheesy, melty, creaminess of Velveta shells

and cheese. Oh, okay. Well, all right. Let's rip. Everyone, let's go. Now in the street there is violence, and then a lot of work to be done. No place to hang out or wash in, and then I can't blame all on the sun. Oh, no, we're gonna rock down to electric revenue, and then we'll take it higher.

Oh, we're gonna rock down to electric revenue, and then we'll take it higher. Cool, cool. Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by SeekGeek. Today is Wednesday, December 12th. PFT, I have to start with a question. Please tell me that the Green Bay Packers aren't going to make the playoffs. That's not a question. Okay.

That was just tell me. That was you begging me. Please tell me. I've looked at it. The Bears are a much better team than the Packers, but I've looked at the NFC, and it's an absolute mess. I'm looking at it too, and you know what season it is? It's playoff machine season on ESPN. I go to that website.

I should just bookmark it and just use it even in the off season when they don't have it, but I love the playoff machine. I've been running the scenarios, crunching the numbers. They're not gonna make the playoffs. They're not gonna make the playoffs. I promise you, they're not gonna make the playoffs. Thank you. Okay.

They are not, but you know who is gonna make the playoffs. Who? The Browns. The Browns are not gonna make the playoffs, but I'm down with this thought. Keep going. The Steelers are gonna lose two out of their last three. Who do they have? It's also reading schedule season.

Yeah. They have the Saints, the Patriots, Lost Lost, and the Bengals. Anything can happen in a rivalry. Those two teams don't like each other very much. In fact, I've been told numerous times to throw out the record books when they get together, so it doesn't matter if the Steelers can somehow beat the Bengals and my whole life is a lie, and I should not have thrown out all the records. Wait, so, but the Browns have like a million other teams that have to jump?

If they beat the Ravens. Okay. Okay, so they're gonna have to beat the Ravens. They're gonna have to beat the Bengals. They can do that. It's Hugh Jackson again. Yup. And they're gonna have to beat the Broncos.

Okay. And then what? And then the Steelers need to lose. They need to control their own destiny. They just need the Steelers to lose three. Oh, all right. Well, that's enough. So you need the Steelers to lose the Bengals and the Browns need to win all three.

Correct. This is the point of the season where all... Slimmy dream. I mean, listen, anyone can dream at this point in the season. Like the Packers, the reason why I brought up the Packers was the everything that needed to happen for them on Sunday and Monday actually happened. And that scared the fuck out of me because someone tweeted it, I think last week, they're like, what is what the Packers need?

No chance it happens. And then everything happened to get them one step closer. I'll give you one reason why you should be afraid. Yeah. They got some bulletin board material yesterday. Okay. By the Monday Night Football crowd. Yup.

This was actually pointed out by John Coon on Twitter. He spotted it. He said, this is... I get why you're showing the playoff picture, but to not even include the Packers on the In the Hunt graphic. Yeah, I saw that. They just... They made the editorial decision.

My guess is it was probably Jason Witton to take them off. I noticed that. They just declined to mention the Packers. That's bulletin board material. Well, here's what's going to happen. The Bears are going to win because the Bears have their own bulletin board material. Aaron Rodgers said that he feels very confident going into Soldier Field because they've had success there.

Oh, it's a fact. That's a fact. Yeah. But that's bulletin board material. Either way, the last three weeks of the season is going to be fun watching all of these play... Because it does feel like there's one team out there for both the six seeds in both AFC and the NFC that is going to get very, very hot and be that team no one wants to play.

We've already designated that as the Cowboys, right? Well, would you say right now that the team no one wants to play? Well, I think Seattle. Let's talk about Monday Night Football. So, Seattle, Russell Wilson with a huge 76 yards passing and Kirk Cousins, holy shit, Vikings fans. That's your quarterback. Yeah.

And what's funny is Kirk Cousins signing was one of those things where everyone in the world was like, hey, this is a bad idea. To a man, everyone was like, hey, this is a really bad idea. But because of the NFL and how the quarterback position is played and how there is always year to year a few teams that have no answer at the quarterback position, anyone could be stuck in and be like, talk themselves into saying, Kirk Cousins, maybe. He did put up like 50 points against the Giants last year or something. That's what he does.

He'll score 35 points every time against the Lions, the Bucks, teams like that. And then he'll just crap himself like he did last night against the Seahawks. Now, what he is, is Case Keenum in a tuxedo. He is the nicest- I actually don't even know if that's the case anymore. He is the nicest looking version of Case Keenum that you can put together. I don't even know if that's the case anymore. But he sucks in prime time.

He sucks. He has a real bad church hangover on Mondays. And he's what, like, 0-7 on Monday Night Football, something stupid like that. Here's a little Saber metrics for you. You ready for this? Yes. Last night on Twitter, there were 30% more people, excuse me, 15% more people tweeting Kirk Cousins is trash, those words, than Kirk Cousins about his fantasy performance.

That's a ratio I don't think we'll ever see again. You don't want that. You don't want that. Like that specific phrase, Kirk Cousins is trash. It wasn't like it was a hashtag. Because independently, people were doing more bitching about that than bitching about his awful fantasy performance. We tried to warn everyone that Kirk Cousins looks a lot shorter in the Vikings uniform

and is not going to perform the way that you need him to perform. And the Vikings, they're just a weird season because it felt like they were a step away. That's why they brought Kirk Cousins in. They were in the NFC Championship game. And they go to Seattle. And Seattle didn't even play that. Their defense played well. But Russell Wilson wasn't that great.

Here's another Saber metric for you. The Seahawks under Russell Wilson are 2-0 when he throws for fewer than 80 yards. There you go. That's a wild stat. Yeah. Digging in the stats today. Yeah, that was big time. You're kind of taking the tank's job.

Yeah, his tank's very triggered right now. So we also had the Booger vs. Whitten rivalry went to a fevered pitch on Monday night. They had a huge debate on air about kicking a field goal or going forward on fourth and goal. They said, you have to kick a field goal when you're down 6-0 to make it a one-score game. Yeah. Okay. And it feels like this season, they're running out of time.

They need to... I think there's only two Monday night games left, but it's time for them, although they're going to do the off-game. They get a playoff game. Yeah, they get a playoff game. Don't scare them like that. It's very clear, though, that the season needs to end for them. Yeah.

Well, you're right. The debate, like, statistics and sabre metrics and win probability was like watching two second graders try to figure out a Kool-Aid recipe. Yeah, I've never felt smarter. Yeah. Do I put the powder in first or do you kick your... You know what he's... You know what he's...

Listen. Yeah, like shells and cheese. Yeah, putting the cheese in when it's still boiling water. Stirring the cheese. Couldn't be me. Couldn't be Hank. Couldn't be Hank. It was bad.

The chemistry's not there yet. This is why you need more time. It's two weeks left. No, you need more time. It's like Hugh Jackson. You know, you fire Hugh Jackson after he goes 0-16 and you don't get to see how awesome it is when he gets those two more wins. Yeah.

So, who knows what kind of chemistry these guys could have together next year. It could be off the charts. Put them both on the side. Put them both in the bugger mobile. Put on opposite sidelines. Yeah, just have them face off. And give them paintball guns. Yeah.

So they can shoot at each other. What's the... I mean, the... Fuck. The Mario Kart when they... The Battle Royale. Yeah. Get rid of the Genesis halftime show and have them just fight each other with the balloons

on top. I love the Genesis halftime show. It's 30 seconds of a black and white performance from a band that I'm not cool enough to know. And also shout out to our friends, Imagine Dragons, for getting the halftime performance for the national championship. That was... I don't... Did they even put it out for bidding?

No. Did they even... That was in... There was no big contract. It's like when Halliburton got the opportunity to do all the services over in Iraq. Yeah. Here you go. It's like...

It's just pencil and Imagine Dragons for everything. You get to make all the money. I have a question for you. Yes. Um, because now that I think about it, I think that the Packers might... You fucker. I knew you were gonna... Yes, because...

All right, I'll read it out loud. But... It's scary. Yeah, I looked at the... I just looked at the schedule instead of listening to you talk. The Bears have to win them. Yes. They have to win.

They have to win to end their season otherwise. You guys got this. It's fine. Packers basically just need, like, they need the Vikings to lose two out of three and everything else will work out for them. Aaron Rodgers is afraid to play in Soldier Field. He just... That plays for whatever reason.

It always brings out the worst. Yeah. And now I don't know... I don't know like what you're doing. But I do have a question for you. Yeah. Has there ever been an interim head coach who has gotten his team into the playoffs? Hmm.

Let's coach a playoff game. Hmm. I actually don't know the answer to that. That's what I was hoping. Stats department, get it going. Yeah. Figure it out. Because Joe Philbin...

He might have figured this thing out. Joe Philbin. What a guy. I'm very much looking forward to him coaching in super cold weather. Okay. Like wearing a knit hat, looking like an infant version of Tom Coughlin. I think the Bears will get in the playoffs regardless. So if I'm going to pre-spin zone a Bears loss on Sunday, which I think they're going

to win. I really do. I think this is one of those things I'm getting nervous about for no reason because the Bears are a superior team. Yeah. You think they're going to win so much that you're going to pre-spin zone them losing. I'm going to pre-spin zone. If the Packers do somehow get in the playoffs, they have to give Joe Philbin the job.

They would have to. And it would be unbelievable. Hank? I would love that. What'd you say? I'm a researcher. Hank's doing his research. Okay.

So we're going to filibuster a little more? So we're saying if Joe Philbin gets the Packers in the playoffs, he gets the extension. He gets the head coaching job. He gets the head coaching job. That's fair. Yeah. Do you have the stat? No.

Because Aaron Rodgers will take all the credit for leading the team into the playoffs. Not only has no one made the playoffs, no one since 2010, the interim coaches have not even finished the season with the winning record. That was a confusing sentence. Okay. 2010, I'm thinking back to who that could be. Jim Tomsula went 1-0 after replacing Mike Singletary. All-time high win percentage for Jim Tomsula in the room.

He's the best. Jimbo. All right. Well, so I'm not worried. It's going to play itself out. Not worried. Not worried. Let's do Hot Seat Cool Throne.

Then we have Damon John, Shark Tank Extraordinaire, a really, really fun interview. I think you guys will really enjoy it, but let's start with Hot Seat Cool Throne. Hank, do it. My Hot Seat is love. Why? Cardi B and Offset are getting divorced. Yeah, we talked about that. Yeah, it's real shame.

Yeah. Real shame. So what? That's it. I don't think Cardi B loved him anyways. Yeah. That's it. Cardi B.

What's up? Come on the podcast to discuss Cardi B. Could any of us handle Cardi B? No. Okay. She's so ratchet. I love her. You can't say that.

I know. She's so ratchet. You can't say that. She let me whisper in her ear. You're not part of ratchet culture. Actually, I would disagree with that. I think I am very ratchet. Not that ratchet.

I'm pretty ratchet. You're pretty ratchet. Yeah. Okay. Thank you, Hank. Another Hot Seat is championship cup celebrations because they brought the NLS cup to a strip club. I saw that.

That was... I don't know if you're ever going to break that. Like Stanley cups, it's cool. People get cool pictures or whatever, but just having a stripper twerking right over the trophy. Went in Georgia, went in Atlanta. You have to go to the strip club. And it was...

Did you see that video? I did, yeah. It was unbelievable. So, MLS in soccer in general, good job. You getting a little respect, all it took was having a championship game in Atlanta and then the team taking it to get a lap dance. The trophy. Yeah.

Well, whenever we start a new sports league, our trophy should just be a pole, just a stripper. That's the only thing that you can do with our trophy, just dance on it. I kept waiting for the lady, the dancer, the lady dancer, to give birth. Yes, she's an artist. Yes, the artist. She was facing away from the camera. It's an Atlanta strip club. I was thinking maybe there's a chance she's pregnant and what if she just slid the baby

out into the cup. It's a very weird thing to think of. Yeah. Did you get turned on by that? Oh, yeah. Okay. Swaggy P haters are also... Ken Bone over here.

They're also on the hot seat because he got signed by the Nuggets and was named SI Sports Person of the Year all in the same week. Congrats, Swaggy P. Yeah. Good job, Swaggy P. He has to share that award with Javelin McGee though. Yeah. So it wasn't actually him.

It was the whole entire... For whatever reason, SI named the entire Warriors team SI Sports Person of the Year. That doesn't make sense. No. No, but this is how they do it. I loved this time of year when they... Like two years ago, they gave it to American Farrow. Remember when they gave it to a horse?

Well, he deserved it. Listen, I saw that horse run. That horse was... It's a beautiful horse. Yes. It's a gorgeous horse. Gorgeous horse. Great.

I'm sure you guys read this article, but they did a study that 2.2 million Americans picked up a lacrosse stick in 2017, a 35% increase over just five years. Yeah, to throw into the trash. Mm-hmm. Son, you're not playing this stupid sport. You guys want to take back any talent made fun of me about it. What was it? 33% increase?

A 35% increase. Well, I mean, if you increase... Over just five years. Yeah, if you increase from like 10 people playing lacrosse, it's not that many people. It's like when Skip and Shannon had the fastest growing sports show in television one weekend. Yeah. Yeah, no shit. No one was watching.

Now three people. Yeah. Now Ernestine's watching. There was one 24-hour fitness like in Topeka that left all their TVs on by accident. Fastest growing. There you go. You the man, Skip. There ain't no problem.

My other cool throwing is Game of Thrones. Yeah? Why? I finally watched. I got addicted. I basically been binging it for the last month and a half. I finished it and I just want to say that it's a great show. No spoilers.

No spoilers. Don't spoil it. You finished it? There's like one season left. Well, there's one more season left. I finished all the seasons that are currently out. How long did it take you? Because I've...

This is one of those shows that I've thought about getting into a lot. So many times. So many times. But now it's to the point where I'd better pencil in like a whole weekend of me doing absolutely nothing. Yep. Well, that's how it started. I had a weekend where I was doing nothing and I was like, oh, I'll start watching it

and by the time the new season comes back in April, so I was like, I'll finish it by April. I ended up getting so hooked I finished it in like a month and a half. Okay. Month and a half. Month and a half of commitment to that. Yeah. That's great.

He was so committed that when we flew out to LA, Hank was watching it on the plane, which if you know Hank, which I mean everyone who's listening knows Hank, he sleeps every single flight no matter what and then sometimes wakes up and pukes on himself. Yeah, Hank. Yeah, fun fact. Hank always throws up on himself during the flight. False. But no, he was just watching Game of Thrones the entire time.

Yeah. It was wild. Hank, do you remember when you threw up on our neighbor on that one flight out to... I think that was to LA too, wasn't it? Miami. We were going to Miami for the All-Star game. Yeah, that was bad. We were just eating a yogurt and the guy, you're like a little baby.

Yeah. He threw it right back up. It was a little spittle. The guy that was in the middle seat, to his credit, handled it like a champ, like getting puked on by a stranger. I didn't puke on him. He spit up. Yeah, but I was getting in the barf bag.

It was, he might have caught like a draw for two, but it wasn't that bad. He caught a couple of strings. You would vomit. All right, PFD, you go. Okay. My first hot seat is Kansas, Duke and Kentucky basketball. They're all fucked. Yep.

Because they are not in the top 25. Oh, I think so. Adidas scandal. They might think that their number is one, two, and three, respectively, but not in this one guy's poll. That's right. Graham Couch, he has a vote, apparently, in the AP top 25, and he took all three out of his poll because they haven't played a true road game.

Meanwhile, teams like San Francisco, Buffalo, they've played stronger schedules than Kentucky has. I mean, it's so true. They do play just neutral sites or home. Yes. They're in the top 25 entirely. I'm okay with that. Yeah.

I'm okay with that. I think there shouldn't be polls till like two months in the season anyway. So take everybody out. Yeah. Nobody. It's like earning your stripe in Cleveland. Yes. Absolutely.

I agree with that. Yes. I don't think you can be out here giving a stripe to Buffalo. Just because it's probably, Buffalo is electric though. Their team, yeah, they're good, but their team is probably happy to not be playing in Buffalo in the wintertime. Right. So like a road game is really a home game for, you got to account for that.

There should be no preseason polls or should be no first month polls in college basketball or college football. I agree with that. Take the bias out. I agree with that 100%. My other hot seat is mice. I finally got all the mice out of my apartment. Great.

Yeah. Finally sealed that sucker up. You've all been sitting here waiting. Yeah. You probably should have been because I was most likely bringing in diseases to the office every day with all these fucking mice running around. Yep. You were like the Oakland Coliseum.

Listen, I've got exactly. So putting mice in the, uh, what are they, where they were, they were in the, uh, soda dispenser, the, the, the actual fountain. Yeah. They found two, two dead mice in the soda found to like when you hit like a mouse came down. This is so clearly Mark Davis did this to try to be like, Hey guys, we've really had to move to Las Vegas. Same, same thing.

Like he, he's doing with a turf on the field, just making it all fucked up. So everyone's like, yeah, they can't, they can't be here. We're on to you. Cheeto lover. He's like leaving raw, like rotten fish in the ceiling tiles and shit there. This is, this is very clear. Yeah. Those are probably his pet gerbils.

You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying, Richard gear, you know what I'm saying. That's quite a rumor. He gets started. That's, you know what I'm saying. I didn't say it. I don't, you know what I'm saying. I don't think that a guy like that could pull any girl that he wanted.

I don't think he has to be like searching for rodents, twin brother John to come out with them. Yeah. My cool throne is Shreveport, Louisiana. Got it. Shreveport just took over the Louisiana city power rankings from New Orleans, Temple's interim head football coach, Jeff Collins. He cut an all time promo ahead of the independence bowl.

He's going to be playing down Shreveport against Duke. Basically was a professional wrestler behind the city podium, which that's a whole other thing to talk about. Like they let these football coaches stand up on the Marist podium and just start screaming. And he was talking about what a great team that he has and how much he loves the city of Shreveport and how his team is going to love Shreveport and all it has to offer. Just really made Shreveport seem like an awesome town. Okay.

And no, have you ever been there? I have not. It's got a casino. All right. Now I'm interested. Yeah. There you go. It's got a casino.

Should have started there. It's like a little bit colder than New Orleans. Okay. So not quite a swampy. It's one of those cities that they basically look forward to their St. Patrick's Day parade all year round. Like Savannah. Like Savannah.

Yep. Where they die the ocean or the river blue. That's Tampa. That's Tampa. Yeah. So Shreveport sounds like an awesome place to go. What's the major industry in Shreveport? People who used to work in the oil industry.

Who now live in Shreveport. Who now have pensions. Got it. Okay. That's my understanding. That's pretty good. I've been there a few times actually. Yeah.

I got the hell out as soon as I could. But one night in Shreveport, you'll have a great time. Great. Yeah. Did it? That's my only cool throw. All right. My hot seat is, I went, I did the seeing right on Monday, but we have an update on that.

The Bulls have created a leadership committee task force. So cool thrown then. Chicago Bulls. No. Hot seat. If you have to have an interim coach, create a task force to be an intermediary between you and the players. 12 players.

Not like, we're not talking about a football team here. Right. 12 players. You probably suck at coaching and everything's a dumpster fire. Instead of calling it a leadership committee, if there are only 12 people to choose from. It might be 15. I can't remember. There's rosters in the NBA.

There's 15. 12. 12. So the leadership committee should, they should just call that the fuck up committee. Right. And so it's like, okay, you six people are on the leadership committee. Right. The other guys are like, what the fuck?

Right. It's, it's wild to have that. Like, hey, we just picked two guys to be on the leadership committee who then have to go tell the other 10 guys. The whole thing is just a joke. So fuck everyone involved, fire guard, car form and fire John Paxson. My cool thrown is I've had this theory, millennials, I'm sick of it. Okay.

You ready for this PFT? So I saw an article, Gen Z should get more bullshit, you know, like crap on the internet than millennials, the next, next in line. So I saw an article how millennials market to Gen Z and I was like, what the fuck aren't we the same thing? Turns out we're not. So Gen Z is 1995 to 2008. When were you born Bubba?

95. Interesting. Motherfucker. So you guys are the ones who are actually fucking everything up because you guys are like the 18 year olds, the bratty 18 to 22 year olds. What? What do you mean by you guys? You're, are you Gen Z?

No. When were you born? 93. Okay. So why are you claiming that is your clique? I'm not. You're, you're looking at us and you guys and I'm trying to make it known. Well, we're talking to Bubba and our audience.

Yes. Yeah. So generally 16 to 17 years old. You're the ones who are fucking it up for the millennials. You're giving us a bad name. And so I also saw this, a translation Gen Z, how to speak Gen Z. So we're going to, I'm going to tell you how to speak Gen Z. Instead of that really sucks.

You say, oof. Yeah. No, I say that instead of, wow, that's shitty. You say yikes. Yikes. Yeah. Okay. Instead of, I can relate to that.

You say mood. That's, that's good. I can't believe something that shitty can happen. Big oof. How I've heard, I've heard Liam say that so many times being like, big oof. Yeah. Big oof. The show is not ready.

They're just, they're hacking the English language. Yeah. They're taking every single phrase and just making it one syllable. Yeah. I like that. That's incredibly horrible. I'm sorry that happened. Shit, man.

And then finally, wow, that's a minor convenience. I want to fucking kill myself. So that's Gen Z. If you want to try to talk to Gen Z, little, the fucks that are ruining it for us millennials. Uh-huh. PFT, we need to start drawing a line in the sand because we get blamed for everything. And it's really not us. It's the other guys.

Right. When was the last time a Gen Z person shopped at a Toys R Us? Probably never. Probably never. When was the last time you went to Hooters? Probably never. Never. That's why you're killing all these fine establishments.

Yes, exactly. And then my other cool throne is my back because I finally got physical therapy and I was told it's actually not a core problem. It's everything else that's fucked up. So my whole body, the physical therapist is like, your hips suck, your upper back sucks, your lower back sucks, and your core just failed to support everything else. So, but I'm going to be back soon. So it was 2018 still year of the core?

2019 year of the core. The core helps, sets up everything else. So it's going to be back. So you're going to get in shape too? But wait, you just said that it's not your core necessarily, it's everything around your core. Well, my core wasn't ready for the workload that I put on it. But the workload I put on it...

You worked out too much. No, the workload I put on it was because everything else fell apart. So if I can build everything else up, my core can be... The body is a work of art. We can build on that. So I'm going to get in shape. I just want to have big, just giant cartoonish arms. Okay.

Like the rest of me, I don't give a fuck about. You can do that. Just huge arms. So we can do that. We can do all that. Hank, what are you trying to get? I need some boulders for shoulders. What?

Boulders. What did you say? Boulders for shoulders. Okay. You should have just said I want bigger shoulders. We should get some weights in the arms. But I want boulders for shoulders. Okay.

I don't want bigger shoulders. We should turn one of the bathrooms just into a workout room. Yup. Just put a bench in there. And a squat rack. Actually, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to get one of those, you know, the Bowflex dumbbells that have adjustable weights.

I'm going to get those and put those next to the toilet. Every time you're taking a crap, curls. I like this. Toilet, toilet curls. Toilet curls are a great idea. How come no one's ever put a gym in their bathroom before? Fuck. Toilet curls are a great idea.

Yeah. Really good idea. We should have given that to Damon. Yeah. That would have been good. We got to save some of the money first. Yeah, you already love this. All right.

Let's do that. And you just came up with toilet curls, which is a genius idea. Yeah. We actually should do that. I am. Yes. And people are going to be like, oh, why are there curls? Why are there weights in the bathroom?

This is gross. Don't pee in the sink. Blah, blah, blah, blah. And we're like, listen, we're just trying to get Jack 2019. Sorry. And also pee in the sink again. Yeah. Let us do that.

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You can find him on Shark Tank? Shark Tank, yeah. You can find his new album coming out soon? Now it's not a rapper, it's more of my speeches that are scored, so I don't want to insult the people out there with talent that put music, I'm not rhyming. Don't sell yourself short, spoken word, you're like Henry Rollins, right? You know what, spoken word, absolutely. Beat poetry.

Yeah, yeah. Little class snapping and berets and lattes and all that stuff, I got it, love it. Damon on demand as well, now before we start, we're going to make you an offer. This entire interview is going to be a pitch with inside of an interview. So you know, can I act and respond like I really am? Or do you want me to respond like the Disney ABC Shark Tank guy? I don't want any of the bullshit. Yeah, I don't want any bullshit.

You curse. Yeah, you can curse. You can curse, we can. Oh, I can curse, no. We'll give you permission to curse if you show up enough for this interview. Here's the deal. If I what? If we're cool with it, once we're cool with you, then we'll allow you to curse.

All right, go fuck yourself. We'll let you know. Oh, okay. All right, so here's the deal. We're going to, this is the offer. About four years ago, I offered Mark Cuban 10% of my brain for a million dollars. Now you're getting two brains in this interview, okay? So we're going to offer you 15% of our collective brains for five million dollars.

Just think about it right now. We're going to do the interview at the end. You can tell us if you want to buy us or not, 15% of our brains. Okay. All right, let's do it. My first question, do you get annoyed that Dramon Green has, like people say your name incorrectly now? Because I almost said Dramon, John.

No. Okay. You know why? Because people have been mistaking that for years. They either call me Damon Dash, Dramon, whatever the case is, it doesn't matter. That's a good first question. Yeah, that's, I'm just losing. But I like that.

I like that. Yeah, you like that. Just losing the box. How many ping pong balls can you fit in a 747? I would say, that could be the stupid shit I've ever been asked in my life, a million. Okay. Yeah, that sounds about right. Yeah, sure.

What the hell? Sure. I like that. You actually, you have an interesting story. I want to get into your background a little bit before we start getting into some more stuff because I've got some other stuff I want to pitch you that might be even more lucrative than our brains, but I'll let you decide on that later. You have an interesting story.

You started out with your first business inside. Was it your mom's house when you started in what, high school? Right out of high school. Yeah. Yeah. That wasn't my first business. That was one of my eighth business. What was your first business?

My first business was selling pencils in school. Hell yeah. Yeah. Pencils I would steal from the boys and then I would put the girl's name on it and sell it to the girls. You'd grave the girl's names and... No. I'd paint them.

I like that. Okay. Were there certain types of pencils that were more expensive, like more lucrative on the... No. They were all the same. Taekwondo roga? Taekwondo roga.

Taekwondo roga. Taekwondo roga. Taekwondo roga. Great ROI. But you have to have a premium line, right? Pintech would be my premium line. Yeah. I wasn't thinking that far.

So wait, how many times... I always find it interesting, especially the Shark Tank, all your guys' stories. How many times did you fail before you started to feel like you were being successful? Because I read the story about doing a boat party that didn't work. I did a boat party. Yep. How did that fail? How did that fail?

Yeah. Well, we didn't know about marketing, so we were handing out flyers and nobody really showed up for it. So it was just... You literally rented a boat. I rented a boat. I rented a guy named Kid Capri, who was a great DJ, who still is. And then I just told her we had a boat party and it was $75 or $50, whatever, the circle

line to go on it. And very few people showed up. So I was out of about, I don't know, $12,000, but that was a lot of money to me. I was 17 years old and I borrowed 11,000 of it. So how do you get out of that hole? Do you slowly work it off? Yeah. Yeah, I just slowly worked it off.

But I had to make sure I paid back the guys and they ended up lending me $50,000 later on for something different. Okay. I like that. So yeah, it's a slow process once you get in debt. There's no magic wand to get out of it. No magic wand. That's too bad.

I really wish that there was. Stealing it off pencils. What do you think about millennials getting into too much debt to be able to buy products and now we're bankrupting Toys R Us and stuff? I don't know. You have two types of millennials, really smart ones and really dumb ones, right? You have the ones that don't buy a car because they uber all the time and they save money doing that.

And then you have the stupid ones. Not everybody has financial intelligence. I didn't have it for a long time. If I was young right now, I would be blowing my money on everything. So when was the moment that you started to get financial intelligence as someone who's 33 and still does not have it? After I blew about $20 million. $20 million?

$20 million, yeah. Okay, tell that story. Well, you think about it, let's look at the athletes and the people today, athletes and a lot of winners, they usually bankrupt three years either outside of leaving the league or receiving the money and you can easily blow $20 million. If I was an athlete right now and I was 25 years old with $20 million, by the time I pay my agents, the money is $16 million or $18 million, by the time I pay the IRS, now I have $9 million, I buy a house for a million, I furnish it for another million, I get out

of the debt that I've had prior, a half a million, I got to make sure I take care of my side pieces. Private plane. Private plane, I fly private, I have one, two, three kids and my cousin Pookie wants to open a modeling agency, I think that's a great idea. So I give him a million dollars. That would seem very specific. Is there a cousin Pookie?

No, no, no. Okay, no, no. We all have cousin Pookie. No, no, my cousin is Rallo, but he does the same shit, same shit, right? And anyway, you out of it, right? But thank God, I had already had a business that I was making more and more and more, but when I turned around and looked at it, I invested in the market, it was high, when it went down, I took my money out because I thought I would lose it all, not knowing

you would rebound back, right? You buy some bad real estate, you out of it. So this was when you had already invented Fubu? Yeah, I was probably about 31, 31 years old, yeah. How long did it take you to bounce back from that loss? Well, I was making more and more every year, so I wasn't like an athlete who hits their prime at 25, I was now making more and more, so I got more and more money after that, and I realized how stupid I was with those mistakes.

What would you say to a 25-year-old that got 20 million dollars? How would you invest that right off the bat? Go find some mentors who have more money than you and ask who their financial advisors are. It's interesting that you use that word because I know you're real big on the mentor relationship. You've had a series of them, I'm assuming that you probably have some people that you mentor as well. Sure, absolutely. How does that relationship solidify?

Is there a formal thing where they're like, hey, will you be my mentor? And you're like, yes, I will. And you hand them a rose? Or how do you determine when that relationship starts? No, that's not how it works. There's no rose. So you go up there, you find out what the mentor wants in their life, right? Because usually mentors don't want money, right?

So you ask them, what do you want to accomplish in your life? Or they'll be like, hey, you know what, I love giving to kids in need. Or in the case you say, all right, well, you know what, I'll donate four hours a week to this charity, and in return, can I talk to you once a week, twice a week, whatever the case is. So it's a symbiotic relationship. And then sometimes, listen, if you're young and you're hip right now, a lot of the mentors at 50, 60 years old, maybe they don't know social media and how to convert their companies

online and things of that nature. Maybe you say, listen, you know what, I'll put in time and show you how to work, Instagram, Facebook, and all that other stuff. And in return, you show me how to have financial intelligence. That's like Peter Thiel just wants to steal young blood. Blood, yeah. He just wants blood. Not so much the social media, just your white blood cells.

Thought about that. No, no. Like a 22-year-old, and he's like, I just want your blood. No, no. Okay. So what would you, if we were like, hey, we need a mentor, what would you, what would you expect from us in return? I don't know what you have to offer.

Yeah, a lot. We don't have time. Our brain is 15%. Well, we've got, we've got. We've generated. 15% for your brain. What are you talking about? You get 15% of our brain.

That means anything you think about? Everything that we create. Everything that we create. Everything you create. Also, you get your intellectual property. You mean I have, I have rights on everything. Correct. Even if you die.

Yes. A little bit of an asterisk that you didn't read on the contract. You also have 15% of all gambling losses. Hmm. So you got to take the good with bad, right? No. There's no downside to everything. Well, you own 15% of our brains.

Yes. So when you want these creative brands, you have to acknowledge that. There is some risk. Okay. No problem. As long as the losses, I don't contribute money, but I can use that loss as a write-off on my taxes. Yeah.

Absolutely. All right. I like the idea. I got a counter. Yes. $50,000. That's a little too low. Right now?

Yeah. Right now, 50,000 out 15%. Deal. All right. We're going to go downstairs and notarize this, right? Deal. You drive a hard bargain. But see, you wouldn't have offered $50,000 if we didn't start out by asking you for

$5 million, right? That's right. So we anchored it. That's brilliant. Yeah. Great. We almost anchored it. You could have said $500.

Yeah. So you actually lost that. How much money do you have in your pocket? I'll take that. You lost that. Yeah. All right. You lost that.

I want to jump back to the mentor thing real quick because I've always heard that you don't really, you've never achieved mastery in a subject. You don't really know it as well as you can know it until you can teach it to somebody else. You think that's true? I agree. I think you don't really achieve mastery in any subject because the subject keeps moving and changing and developing.

So I always use the theory of Bruce Lee was a master of karate at 30. At 70, he would have to learn how to fight differently because he doesn't have the same strength. But yeah. No, he's not. He's dead because... Stephen Seagal could kick his ass. Right.

Yeah. Bruce Lee is dead. So it's 70. He's not dead. But when he turned 70. Bruce Lee? I'm pretty sure. Bruce Lee's not dead.

100% dead. I just had chicken wings this morning. Are you kidding me? Yeah. No, it's true. It's the evolving... The thing I always... Like a guy like you and what the brand you have created, what fascinates me is you've

essentially created cool. And that seems like the hardest thing in the world to do because it's not just a clothing line. It's a lifestyle. People want to wear it and they want... It's a statement when they wear it. How do you do that? Or was it almost by accident?

It was by accident. It's exactly what you guys created, right? You're hanging out with a bunch of people that you either like or want to get information from. You're sharing with other people. You ask them the stupid ass questions that nobody wants to ask anybody. And you know, people find it cool. Okay.

So no, but he just called us cool. So now I give you permission to cuss on my podcast. See what I just did there? Thank you. I appreciate it. I appreciate it. This is your house. I appreciate it.

There you go. Fuck. Do you want to try? Now I'm not going to curse just because you gave me... Okay. See, this is two alphas going at it right now. Okay. Scariest in what sense?

Most intimidating to either do a deal with or the guy or woman that you are most afraid of that will swoop in and steal your deal. I'm always afraid of Lori. We're kind of in the same space of bringing consumer products to the market. And she has two platforms. She has a very strong platform with QVC. And she's also, if it's a woman related product, she can be the face of it. And she has a lot of success.

So I always have to have a tussle with Lori. Okay. I always think, I mean, I actually think you're the scariest shark. You think so? Yeah, because you always sit back and then you say something that's like really pointed and kind of brings the whole deal down. You're like, yeah, that idea is stupid for this reason. I appreciate it.

You know what? I think the reason I do that is because I'm so busy listening to all the other sharks and I'm compiling it and using it like if I came up with a great idea of why it's not good. But yeah, I appreciate that. But I think Kevin O'Leary also is the one that people really fear. He doesn't do enough deals. He tries.

But in every deal he does, he's like, okay, here's the deal. I'm going to license it and then you're going to pay me 7% for the rest of your life. And believe it or not. And your children are going to pay me 10% for the rest of their life. People do deals with them. And I will invest $4,000. People do deals with them. It's crazy.

I mean, he's like a license. He always goes to the licensing. I'm like. Licensing and royalty. I know that shit, Kevin O'Leary. Yeah. Is there any product that you've invested in where you kind of got caught up in the moment where everybody else seemed to like it and you kind of chased after it and then right

after you had buyer's remorse and you're like, why did I do that? No. But I do end up having buyer's remorse later on down the line with a lot of products because a lot of times it's not the product that doesn't work. It's the entrepreneur that we don't see eye to eye. Can you figure that out right away? Would you invest in someone? No.

So it takes a while to see like, all right, this person was never. Listen, when you're in the tank, it's like going to a bar, checking for girls. All right. Every one of them, as soon as you talk to me, you're fascinated. You think this is going to work, whatever the case is. And then you wake them in the morning and you know. By yourself and you're like, man, that pizza. I totally could have banged her.

No. You wake up in the morning with her and she got a hairy bean bag. Can't relate. Can't relate. What do I just do? Can't relate. Seriously, the pizza. You lost me when you said talking to girls at a bar.

Yeah. I think it's unfair that Robert, whenever he really wants a deal, he starts to cry and talk about like sweeping his dad's factory floor. It's bullshit when he does that. No. He talks about the little rat that he came over on a boat with. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Robert has actually put himself into ratatouille. He's an extra in that. Robert. Robert's a sneaky guy, man. He, you know, he has that whole, I'm really nice type of thing. Yeah. The Canada, like I'm gonna cry at any moment.

Yeah. I'm onto that shit. Yeah. That Robert is a very keen business guy and he knows how to work his angles. Yeah. You also partner with Pitbull, who I think is one of the greatest entrepreneurial minds of our generation. You partner with Mr. Robot?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We've worked with some stuff in the past. Yeah. Yeah. What have you done with him? We did a company called, guy's name is Al, and what was that company out of Miami?

Dalai. Yeah. Coolo. What was that company? Mr. Real Five. Anyway. Yeah. Something.

Yeah. And, you know, that one slowed down, but we also do some other stuff right now. You just described, if you're like, hey, think of a company that Pitbull created. All you have to say is, yeah, it's a VIP, something in Miami. No, no, no, no. This was Shark Tank and I brought it to Pit and wanted Pit to be, you know, the face of it and he was down, but the guy decided to change the direction of the company. So we didn't need to do that deal, but we do all this stuff with Pit.

How much importance do you place on somebody's appearance? Just not in terms of attractiveness necessarily, but like, you know, whether or not they have their shit together. Like me and Big Cat, obviously we're in sweats. We obviously are very cool and hip and very organized, but like your first impression on somebody, how much of that is just like, okay, I'm, I can eyeball you and figure out what you're about. It all depends, right?

If it depends on the impression that they're giving or where they're at, right? If, you know, if a guy comes in, he has a really, he's a banker. His suit is very loose. He has a lot of jewelry on. I'm not trusting him because he's, he's not financially, you know, he's, you shouldn't be a bank. You should be very conservative as a banker. However, if you're a coder or say you're working a podcast, I don't want to see you

in a suit because you're, you're working all night. You're not in a suit or you're a construction worker. Don't come up and, you know, or you have a construction company. Don't show up in a suit. I don't want to see you in a suit. I want to make you something that you're not. Exactly. Yeah.

That's why we don't shower. Yeah, right. We would turn guests off if we were too clean. You don't have to pay for our water bill. That's right. 15%. That's right. That's pretty good.

I like that. No, I think we're making a pretty good case for it. Oh, we're debt work. 15%. 15%. Yeah, sidebar. Don't listen. Okay.

I'm going to try to get emotional. Yeah. And get emotionally involved. More than $50,000. Okay. You have to take the glasses off to get emotional. Don't do it. Don't do it.

That makes you happy. Good question. Good question. Thank you. Fishing? Fishing. Being with my family. Hanging out.

What do you fish? Where do you fish? I fish everywhere. I fish. You know, I fish fresh water, salt water. Yeah. Biggest fish you caught? I caught a 600-pound marlin.

It's not that big. You did? Yeah. Not one of these. They take me out on the boat. They hook the marlin on. Then they hand me the rod. And they're like, here, reel them in.

He's already half dead. Halfway. They take me out on the boat. I throw the rod in. I reel it in. I'm convinced. You can't, you know, you're a real fish. A mate cannot catch your fish.

Yeah. But I'm convinced half of those boats, they have just half-dead fishes on a line. And they just go out a little bit. And they're like, all right, now we'll just reel this fucking thing in. You ever been fishing? Yeah, of course. I love fishing. You know where the biggest striped bass are?

Where? The water. Statue of Liberty. Got them. Got them. Statue of Liberty? The Statue of Liberty. The East River?

Yeah. I don't think you can eat those. Yes, you can. No, you cannot. They're traveling from all the way up in Canada, all the way down to... To the East River. No, they go all the way down to Maryland. Well, you got to get them right when they get in the East River.

Before they become East River fish. You ever see the people Jetski in the East River? Those people are weird. Yeah, they're psycho. Will Smith in that movie Hitch. Yeah. He was Jetski. Yeah.

True. What's wrong with the East River? It's just flowing. It's flowing water. It's clean out. How clean is it? When GE put all that chemicals in. Yeah, right.

When companies were real companies. Yeah. So now... They can just cut all their costs by polluting the Earth. Yeah, what do you think about regulations? You big regulation guy? Depends on what the regulation is. Okay.

How about... No... Tax... You've got us in a lie. We don't know what regulations are. We're taxing clothes. Goddammit. Goddammit.

I was thinking... I was like, CO2. Yeah. We're taxing all synthetic clothing fabrics. We already do that. Okay, do you like those regulations? I do like that. Oh, okay. So you like more of them?

Yeah, because you know what? I don't want to get to... You know, you can't make that type of stuff over here. You got to leave it to the other shit countries that want to make it. So tax them as much as you can. Tax is here so that we make it elsewhere. Yeah, what's your biggest weakness? I love doing stupid ass podcasts. Sort of thing.

Yeah, I would imagine doing that. You got one later today or something? I think we're... We got them. We got them. We got them. So what is your biggest weakness? Biggest weakness.

You love too much. I don't know what that would be, but... You don't have a weakness. No, I have it. Okay, let me phrase it a different way. If I gave your employees a truth serum, and I was like, what's one thing that you wish Damon did differently? What would they say?

They would all say, pay me more money. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. Okay. Sorry, guys. You don't have a weakness? I have a weakness.

I just don't know which one to pick. He just doesn't want to tell us because we're in the midst of a negotiation. That's how it works. I see you. What's your biggest weakness? Probably I care too much, yeah. You care too much about what? Everything.

Succeeding. Success. Oh, success. Being number one. You care about people? Yeah, I care about people. Animals? Dogs more than people.

If I had to rank it. Cool. Yeah. What about you? I think that's my biggest weakness. I don't have enough time to go out there and do things like that, which is save the planet. Oh.

Okay. Mine is just, it's hard to find a pair of underwear that fits me because my balls are so huge. Yeah. It's tough. It's just your balls, not your dick. Are your balls really big here and your dick is really big? Yeah.

It's one of the things where, like, by... Because if you have a really big ball, you may need to go. I pee on my balls all the time. You pee on your balls? Yeah. Yeah. Just pee right on them. It's not that one is small necessarily, the other is just so by contrast.

Yeah. If you hold up a palm tree next to the Great Pyramid, the palm tree is going to look small. You're right. Right. So it's tough to find pants, that's what I'm saying. So maybe that's a new line of business for you. That's another, boom, that's another idea I came out with. It is?

Here's what you do. I'm going to get 15% out. Underwear for guys with huge dicks and it will be bought by every guy with a small dick out there to be like, hey, I buy the underwear for guys with huge dicks. Yeah, the tag actually goes outside of your jeans. Yes, exactly. So people see it. So people know.

You just have your underwear made like, custom made like I do. Yeah. You have custom made underwear? Yeah. What's the coolest part about being rich? Making custom underwear. Besides the custom made underwear. Huh?

Yeah. Besides the custom made underwear. You got a bigger, yeah, my underwear called pants. Oh. That's right. Oh, you're free-balling it. Yeah, you know, I got one leg bigger than the other. What's the new bubble?

What's the next bubble? CBD. Yeah. Yes. Okay. See, I like CBD. I think it's, I think it's, I like CBD if it's, if it's, you know, the real stuff, but I think that there are a lot of fly-by-night companies right now that are trying to capitalize

on it. It's going to be a lot. Exactly. Yeah. So the idea is for you to finish our pitch, which I think is we've nailed it. Like, I actually think we've nailed this. Yeah, yeah. I, well, I'll actually start with this.

A SeatGeek question. Put in promo code take. You get $10 off a SeatGeek purchase. Go to SeatGeek. They're a great sponsor of ours. I read that you like to ask people trick questions in interviews. What's your, what's your go-to trick question? When's the last time?

Well, I can't ask you guys this. No, why? Because you guys are going to be honest. No. No. This is when I, when I employ people. Yeah. You ask trick questions.

Yeah. Do you look in the toilet bowl after you take a shit? Yes. Who doesn't? Of course. You have to see how healthy you are. People don't answer that. No, sometimes.

Really? Not to see how healthy I am. It's how unhealthy I am. Well, no. I mean, it's, yeah. I mean, it's, you know, you're looking at glass. After the age of 15, when's the last time something happened to you that was out of your control? Wait, say every day.

After the, after the what? After the age of 15, when's the last time something happened to you that was out of your control? Every single day. 9-11. Well, it didn't happen directly to me. Well, that's, that's an answer. I mean, we were all affected by it in some way. Yeah.

It happened to you directly. It's literally every day. Something happens to me that I don't control. That's right. Like what? Like what? So, like, normally I last really long when, when you're having sex. The other day was like, you know, five seconds.

That wasn't my fault. Love too much. That wasn't your fault. It didn't happen. All right. So let's pitch these ideas to you and then we'll finish this up. Peter, do you want to start? Yeah, my first, this is actually a really good idea.

I'm just warning you. Yeah. So my invention is virtual reality food. Okay. So you get to eat it. You get to taste it. But it's not real. The calories don't count.

But that wouldn't be virtual if you get to taste it. No, but we haven't, the technology I've been working on with my team. You can access parts of the brain that control taste and your senses. And so you can taste the food. You, and you don't get any weight. You create the technology. We come up with the ideas. I'm trying to make them think that I have a prototype.

Okay. So there's a proof of concept that I'm working on. I like that. I like that idea. You like it? Yeah. Okay. What about, so your Fubu, what about Bufu?

And by us for you, we just sell you clothes from my pile for a significant upcharge. Your pile of what? I have a pile of clothes over there. It's like a bunch of trash. Bufu. I like that. It's the hottest, hottest. Everyone's wearing Bufu.

I like that idea too. You need some Bufu. I like that idea as well. So I will sell you this Taz, Charlotte Hornets, sweatshirt, one of a kind. Bufu for $300,000. I like that idea. Okay. I like that idea.

It's sold. All right. Mine's very simple. Yeah. Uber, but with dogs. So there's a friendly dog that's in the back seat and people can play with a dog on their trip. I actually really, the other ones are shit, but I like that idea.

Whoa. Yeah. I do like that idea. Okay. I mean, if you're going on like an hour long trip, maybe you don't want to be on your phone the whole time. You want to like decompress a little bit. What better way than with man's best friend?

I like that. Yeah. Okay. My last. They have cat cafes now. Yeah. Billy Corgan. Yeah.

Yeah. Smashing pumpkins. He has a cat cat. That's so gross. Yeah. My last idea is we just commit fraud, but we admit it beforehand. So if I tell you I'm going to commit fraud and you still invest, isn't that on you? That makes me a cold conspirers.

No, but like I was like, Hey, look, I'm going to, I'm raising a bunch of, I'm doing series a raising money. I think that's what you call it. And if you give me money, I will use it for my own personal life here. I'm not going to actually invest in anything. What can I put you down for today? And then if you give me money, that's you. That's you because you knew it, but you also get the freedom to go out and recruit somebody

to defraud yourself. If I invest in this idea, you'll give me portions of all that. And if you go to jail, I have nothing to do with it. I don't think I'd go to jail if we call it. I don't think you'll go to jail either. I think I don't think you'll go to jail either. As long as you give me half of that. And if you go to jail, which I do not think you'll ever go to jail, right?

I don't have to take any of the blame. You'll have to invest a little to start though, because I'm going to need like a Range Rover. I'm going to need some jewelry and then we'll do the whole thing. And I also can have a key man policy on you. So if somebody kills you, I make the money. He's going to kill you. I'm not going to kill you. I'm not going to kill me.

I'm not going to kill you. I've been threatened. You're going to kill me. I know when a man is threatening to kill me. That's why you're a shark. That's why you're a shark. I like that idea though. I'm down with that one.

As long as I have nothing to do with it, if you die or go to jail, as long as I get a key man. Yeah. Okay. Hopefully. But I'm just saying, I got to look at my, I got to look at my alternatives, man. All right. My last idea for you is pretty straightforward.

It's a knife range. So instead of going somewhere like a gun range, you just have like a dummy and they give you a knife and you can just stab the dummy and just put the knife down when you're done. Get, you know, get a little rage out, good exercise, get the heart rate going. You thought about that one yourself? Yeah. The knife range. Yeah.

I like how you keep looking at me for approval. And I'm like, yep. Did you know he was going to ask that? Yep. I did. And it's great. I'm going to call 911. I got to report you, brother.

Yeah. All right. Damon, thank you so much. Everyone watch Shark Tank. Yeah. I'm looking forward to his line of knife ranges coming out in 2021 that he just, he laughed at me for now. He's stealing.

Two more deals. Two more deals. Getting some more deals. Why? I need you in the mix more. Why? Because you're too picky. Why?

You know, the first year I lost $750,000. Shit. You know, nobody tells you on Shark Tank that, you know, nobody says, you know what, I am going to buy that range room. I'm going to pay off my bills and I'm lying to you. They don't tell you that when they're doing that. Unless they're me because I'm telling you the fraud. I understand.

I'm down with that one, right? Don't you like someone like me more? Yeah. I think I've done over the years. I've done up to now, I think, almost 90, 90 deals. Damn. And they've, how many have it been successful? How many have closed probably is, and could be almost half or more.

How many have been successful, depending on what you call a success, but I would say about 15 of them have been decently successful. Okay. Some have been home runs. Yeah. Yeah. Those are the ones that pay for all the other clunkers. Absolutely.

Right. Absolutely. You know, as dumb as I thought you were, man. I like that. I appreciate that. What a nice thing to say. Well, I know, I'm a high note. Yeah.

I'm a high note. I'll tell you what. When you came in, when they got you set up for this, they were like, hey, he's kind of prickly. What's prickly? You're a lot funnier than I thought you were. What's prickly? No, like, I know how a lot of people say, you know, like, oh, he's this, he's this weirdo.

Nobody likes. He's a shark. You're not, you're not as bad as people say. I made that up. Yeah. I made that up. So it's just negotiating. It's just three alphas nagging each other right now.

Guys, they're from Hollis, Queens, man. Yeah. Bruce Lee's hometown. Bruce Lee's hometown. All right. Thanks, Damon. That interview was brought to you guys by 23andMe. Now through December 25th, the 23andMe DNA kits are on sale.

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Adam Artavino, pitcher for, can you name who he pitches for? Colorado Rockies. The Colorado Rockies. There you go. I was actually just looking it up. I think, is he a free agent? He might be a free agent. Adam Artavino says that he can strike out Babe Ruth every single time.

Yeah, every single time. He's saying that he would have. Would have. Yeah, I agree. Well he definitely can right now. Babe Ruth's dead body. Yeah. I mean Babe Ruth is basically playing dead for like three or four years.

That's also a very small strike zone if you laid his dead body out. So it might not. That's true. That's true. Well, also it's a soft flex because Babe Ruth was a pitcher. Yeah. Sick brag dude. You could strike out a pitcher.

You could strike out a pitcher. So could I. Yeah. I mean, have you ever seen, well John Lester hit a home run. I'm trying to think of what other pitchers. Who's who? Bartolo Cologne. Bartolo.

He hit a home run too. Yeah. Bartolo Cologne is probably the exact athletic equivalent of Babe Ruth right now. I was going to say we need to like, I love these debates. These are what sports are all about is debating things that we can never prove and get really, really angry about it. But what if we just had Mike Trout gain like 150 pounds. Yeah.

I'm in. Mike Trout, you can't lift any weights for a year. He gained 120 pounds, 150 pounds. You have like exceptional hand-eye coordination because Babe Ruth, whatever error it is, he still would have above average hand-eye coordination. I would assume, right? Yeah. So it's like if you took Adam Adavino and put him back in 1920, then Babe Ruth would

probably go yard on him all the time and had Adam grow up in that. Well, he probably wouldn't be allowed to play because he was Italian. So Babe Ruth. Also like if you had Mike Trout play 150 pounds overweight, you'd also have to take away any pitcher who wasn't a white Anglo-Saxon Protestant pitcher just so we get the simulation correct. Yes. And it's always fun too because baseball is the weirdest one to do it in.

Every other sport, I feel like you can actually make this case. Baseball. I actually think baseball, like guys from like Sandy Kofax, probably be a good pitcher right now. Like Bob Gibson or I don't know. But if you took, if you took like the football team from 1940 army team and put them up against Alabama. Yeah.

Okay. That would be insane, right? Like that's where the biggest basketball, the same way. Basketball has had the biggest growth in terms of height, muscle, jumping ability, three point. I mean, they didn't have three pointers. People didn't dunk. Right.

Watching clips from Babe Ruth's swing, just like the swing in general that he had, it looked like he was going fly fish. It looks like he was dizzy. Yeah. He just got done doing a dizzy bat race and then went fly fish. He has a wiffle ball. He has a swing. Yeah.

Like hanging out, drinking some beers in the backyard and you're playing wiffle ball. Also Adam Adavino, it's kind of bullshit what you're doing right now. Yeah. A hundred years from now, two young assholes are like, man, if I went back in time and tried to podcast against PFT and Big Cat, I kicked their ass. Yeah. Well, yeah, no shit because you got all the good technology. Right.

And you're probably smarter than us because books became like you just insert them into your brain. Yeah. You have robot chips in your brain and you can make way more cool references than us because you have a hundred years history. Yeah. It's like. Not fair.

Not fair, Adam. Not fair. I don't care for your name. Adam. Oh, I thought you were going to go last name. Adam Adavino. No, I don't know. Adavino is kind of cool.

Adavino is drinking drive. Yeah. There you go. John Taffer. Sheesh. John Taffer would love you. Yeah. He would.

John Taffer would be all about that. We have a not to brag, but we called it Big Ben. So it comes out that Big Ben, he did in fact have an injury that no one could diagnose because apparently the X-ray machines in the Oakland Coliseum, another thing that Mark Davis is doing, are so old that they couldn't figure out if his ribs were broken or not, has nothing to do with the fact that he just had like a shitload of fat around him. I actually have a theory about this. So I think Ben probably just like tried to fuck with the X-ray machine.

You know, when you're a kid, you're sick, you're trying to stay home from school, you hold the thermometer close to like the lamp to get the temperature up a little bit. Yep. You fake the fever. I bet Ben was just. First fueler. Ben was trying to, yeah, give himself a little bit of time to get back in the game. So he could be a hero, make an entrance, he probably like ate a few chicken wings and

like hid the chicken wings under his shirt and broke them a little bit, went into the X-ray machine. They're like, we can't tell what the fuck this is. What's going on? Ben, this is not a human. It's a dog X-ray machine because it's Oakland and they're trying to figure everything out and Ben is just laying there. He's trying to fudge the rib X-ray.

Yeah. It actually was just a, it was just the game operation, Ben just slid it underneath the X-ray machine. It's like, look, my bones are missing, my femur is missing. This guy's got a butterfly in his stomach. What the hell? Yeah. Why is there a rubber band in his brain?

Well, I'm really sick. Yeah, damn. I probably can't go out there. Oh man. All right. We have a stay woke, Steph Curry. Steph Curry has joined the recent trend of NBA players just saying ridiculous things for effect and he said on Vince Carter's podcast, which I didn't even know he had a podcast.

Did he do the podcast because of us? I think we probably convinced him to do it. Okay. So Vince Carter's podcast, he said, the moon landing's not real. And now we all have to do this whole song and dance for a while being like, oh, well. And then Steph Curry's going to say, well, you know, I'm sorry, I'm not anti-science and I apologize. And everyone's like, oh my God.

Go out there, do your own research, watch a bunch of YouTube videos. I didn't say we didn't go on the moon. From a guy called the Amazing Atheist or whatever. I'm not saying we didn't go on the moon, I'm saying just question everything. We get it. We've done this. But do you believe the moon landing was real? Defined moon.

The big thing in the sky that looks like a big thing of cream cheese. Okay. Yeah. I think the landing actually happened, but I think it happened in, I think the moon is just the Las Vegas area desert. Got it. So you are with Steph Curry. Little woke on that.

Little woke. But Steph Curry was just obviously saying it for attention. No, I honestly, yes, of course we landed on the moon. No, there are people who actually like very much believe that we did not, right? A sound studio in LA? Yeah. Well, it was Vegas. Vegas.

Why haven't any other countries landed on the moon? Didn't Russia? Is that true, Hank? Is that true? It's that department. Go check it out. Also, we kind of just stopped landing. Also, it happened at a pretty convenient time, too.

I do agree, though. We should go on the moon more. Yeah. Like why don't we go chill on the moon? We haven't been back to the moon since like 1971. It's kind of weird. And it's like you. It's like progressive rock.

Did you see that fucking satellite that just went out of, it went into interstellar? Yeah. It's out of the sun's orbit now. Hurts my brain to think about. So that was launched in what, 1977? In 1977. Yeah. And it just keeps on going.

That's pretty crazy. Yeah. And you know what it has on it? It's the greatest throw of all time. The funniest thing it's got. Josh Allen threw that. Josh Allen tossed it. Yeah.

And when he was just twinkling his father's eye, they put a record on the Voyager thing. Yeah. In case another alien, like, life form discovers it. What's on it? It's got songs. I think Johnny B. Good's on there. Okay. It probably has some Beatles on there.

It's got spoken word stuff. I don't know why we decided that we would put it on a record. They would be able, whatever alien technology would also be hipsters. Yeah, they'd probably be like, fuck, I got a CD player. Yeah, they're hipsters. I have a Walkman. I don't have a record player. The Voyager's like, well, the sound fidelity is much better on an album.

You should buy a turntable. It really does hurt my brain to think about it. Just the thinking about space is a little wild. I also like how, now, the Lunar Labs in Houston, they said, tell you what, Steph, we'll come give you a tour next time you're playing against the Rockets so you can see that it actually was real. So all it took was for Steph Curry to be like, I don't think it's real. Now he gets a sweet tour out of it.

And Blake Griffin, shout out to our friend, Blake Griffin, who said, I don't think Bill Gates' money is real. Right. Hey, if you get any of that money, hook us up, please. Hey, Vivid Videos, I don't think the porn you shoot is real. I think it's all fake. Did you guys know that someone owns the moon? Who?

Hope, an American entrepreneur, sells extraterrestrial real estate. In 1980, he started his own business, the Lunar Embassy Commission, as of 2009, Hope claimed to have sold 2.5 million one-acre plots for the moon for around $20 per acre. But you know what? Genius. But you know what? Dave Portnoy owns the phrase, own the moon. So this guy, Hope, needs to kick all his money up to Dave.

Has anyone else been on the moon? Russia and China. OK, so people are just satellites. Soviet Union, United States and China are the only countries so far to have launched manned space flights. Stats Department's been working overtime today. We really get ready for this. They should just do like a greatest hits of Sunday NFL primetime from Boomer and TJ.

Just send that out. Put that on the Voyager, just to introduce. I agree. Cultures to that. I think it's just U.S. OK. So we're the only ones. Shout out to us.

Hello, guys. Let's go to guys on chicks. Hey, big cat and PFT. First of all, SUP. Hey, SUP. Second of all, do you guys slash all guys like having hairy chests? My man refuses to shave it because it'd take away his manliness. But I like a smooth chest.

What do I do about this? I start dating chicks. Do you have a hairy chest, PFT? I do. Hank, do you have a hairy chest? Kind of, but I've learned that if you shave your chest, the hair goes back faster. So I'm in development. I don't have a hairy chest.

A little baby. I think my chest hair has been ruined by the, by your big nipple. Yeah, you can't grow hair on big fat titties. Yeah, exactly. It's like you can't plant corn on a volcano. Right. It's just all rock. That's what your nipple is.

Yeah, exactly. The topography of my breasts is too severe for hair to grow there. So mine, what I like about mine is it's an arrow pointing up at my face. It's like my eyes are up here if you're looking at my tits. I don't really see it. Yeah, it's an arrow. It actually looks like an Illuminati triangle. Let's try it out.

That's fucked up. Mine's too close. Because more hair grows on the left side of mine. Oh, Hank, you got a little baby patch there. Did you guys ever have anything weird when you were younger? I remember when I had puberty. When you were younger, where you thought that you were sick because you didn't understand why your body was doing something?

Like I only had hair under my right armpit from like seventh to ninth grade. I thought that meant I had cancer. Okay. I know that did not happen to me, but that's wild. I have a friend that, when he got boners when he was like a little kid and used to think he had AIDS. I mean, that was right around that time. AIDS scare.

It's kind of a similar question. Why do you, what's up boys? Little kids getting boners. Why do you guys, dicks hang left and others hang right? Depends if they're left or right-handed, which one they pull with the most. I don't know the answer to this. I just know, remember, what's his name? Fuck.

Evan Stone. He had the big fucking... The swoop dick. The curve. Captain Hook. Yeah. That guy. Wow.

How did that happen? I think this is something that... Well, jelking can do that to you. True. I've done some research on that when I was figuring out the whole jelking phenomenon. I think this is something that older generations deal with more, where it's like which side do you dress to? If you're getting a tailored suit made, they ask, that's their fancy way of saying which

way does your dick hang. What if it's so small, it doesn't matter. But you can just go, I can just... It's asking for a friend. Yeah. I can just move it. Right. It's not like it naturally goes down my right leg.

Right. It's moving around. I feel like this is a question for someone who has dicks that are larger, so I don't know. Pass. Hey guys, especially Big Nip Cat. Oh, damn. Can you give me...

Can you give your male AWLs a lesson on how to compliment tits like a gentleman? I like your boobs. Like a gentleman. Nice rack. I respect your body. I love that one. Those would be fun to titty-fuck. I'm just shooting things out.

Let's just see if any of them can't hear. That's a safe space. How about... Wow, there's some nice sweater puppies. Oh yeah, that's good. How about nice nips? Want to fuck? That's another good one.

Yeah. Hey, is it cold in here? And then what happens is, okay, you say is it cold in here and then she looks down at her own boobs and you're like, no, I was just saying because I was shivering. And then naturally, she's now in a conversation with herself about her own boobs. Yeah. Headlights? You could just say something about...

That probably doesn't... That's probably creepy. That's like an old man thing. No. Like, oh, check out the headlights on that one. That's kind of weird. I like knockers. Knockers?

Hmm. Tatas? During October, yeah. Yeah, you want to... You got anything? Actually, no, here's all you do. You just... You wear a pink ribbon all the time.

Yeah. And you're like, yeah, I donate to... I love breasts. Yeah, I like how the bracelets have gotten progressively more aggressive in what they say. Now, you can basically wear a bracelet that says, love them titties. Yeah. But if it has a pink ribbon on it, you're actually a hero.

Yeah, that's true. This is going to be the year where tits make a comeback, too. That's right. Yep. It's no longer ass season. Yep. Fuck the... Asses have had their little time here.

People have been all about the ass. Yeah. I want a girl that breaks her tailbone when she sits down on a toilet. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Just an absolute real... Real thing. ...to fall off.

Alley McBeal ass. Yeah. I want your jeans to fall right off your ass, not because I want to... Just go to the next question. Hey, Big Hat and PFT, my boyfriend says he's seen more dicks than boobs in real life because of sports. Is that a real excuse or should I be worried? I mean, this goes back to a conversation about locker rooms.

It's like just put a shower curtain up. Right. If you... Yeah. I mean, if you... Yeah. I think that's probably somewhat... It's a very weird...

It's a weird flex, but okay. Yeah. It's definitely real, right? Yeah. Yeah. Let's see. It depends on the age. Yeah.

It depends on the age. It depends on how many people you live with in college. There's a couple things. It depends how good you are at sports. Yeah. I would actually say the more dicks that you've seen over the course of your life is probably well-correlated to how talented and athletic you are. Or if he's a doctor, remember, we were talking about doctors who do surgery on athletes.

They'll probably see all the dicks, right? Or if you're a gynecologist. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Some boys, especially Bubba, Sup. What do I buy a boy for Christmas who's not my boyfriend, but a boy I've been casually seeing for two years now, but also casually for seven years? A cat.

He's 23 if that helps. What? So you've been casually seeing this boy since he was 16 years old? Yeah. Casually seeing for two years now, but also casually for seven years. I don't know what that means. Take that as you will. Okay.

An apartment lease. This is like a weird relationship that this girl is in with this guy. It honestly sounds like you should just not buy him anything. Ooh. You know what you should buy him? You should buy him an emergency contact form and have him fill it out and then he'd be like, maybe put your number in first, then it says, relation, and see what he puts. Yeah.

You should buy him a conversation with you where you started out by saying, what are we? Yeah. There we go. Go to Target and get one of those weird wood blocks and say, what are we? Yeah. We should make it up in his bedroom. Here's what we should do. We should make hallmark reading guards, except where it says like the relationship that you

have. You're getting one for your wife, for your mom, for your dad. Just one for somebody that you don't, that you're fucking, but you want to know if there's more and it just says, what are we on the inside? Yeah. Right. It just has a little pen, little pencil, little golf pencil. Yeah.

Please fill out. All right. I think we cracked that one. Last one. Hi. I'm 24 and agreed to be set up with my co-worker's friend. After I agreed, he told me his friend is 38 and showed me a picture. He's very unattractive.

I already committed, so I'm going to go, but do you have any tips for ducking out of a date early? You're such a mean. It sounds like such a sweet person. Yeah. It's like I already committed to meeting a stranger that I've never met and he's wildly mismatched for me. Yeah.

How about you? Don't judge a book by its cover. What if his personality is great? You know? If it's women for their brains, why don't you reciprocate? You snob. That's gross. No, but seriously, just have someone call you.

Yeah. That's a fail-proof plan. Yeah. It's like you set an alarm that sounds like your phone going off. You don't even have to have a friend. Or just say that you're sick and cancel. It's awesome. Be the best feeling in the fucking world.

Right there. Yeah. Do you think a guy would ever go through that? How old is she? 24? 24. You think a 24-year-old guy would agree to get set up on a blind date? Find out that the woman is much, much older, very unattractive, and still go?

Duh. Mmm. Duh? Yeah. Why wouldn't he? I think most guys would just... Here's the thing. If a guy wanted to get out of this...

If there's a chance that they're going to get laid, they would go. If a guy wanted to get out of the situation, here's what he would do. He would just get wasted beforehand and then either decide not to go because he's drunk, or he would go and be like, I'm drunk and I'm horny, so it's all good. Let's fuck. Yeah. Okay. Just be nice.

People, it's the giving season. December to remember, right? That's right. Let's have a December to remember. Big member to remember. Yeah. All right. Friday.

NFL Week 15 preview, and we already alluded to it, but the biggest guess we've ever had in some circles. Get excited. Love you guys. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye.