Pardon My Take - The 2020 Takie Awards Featuring Blake Griffin, Blake Koepka & Blake Bortles

Episode Date: July 6, 2020

We’re back from a mini vacation and we dive into the Redskins name change, Joey Chestnut’s continued dominance, and Bryson DeChambeau getting swole and still being a weirdo (2:49 - 38:04). And then- The 5th annual Takey awards are here highlighting the strongest takes and general excellence in sports media for the 2019-2020 podcast season. Featuring appearances from Tommy Lasorda, Tommy Lasorda, Chris Hansen, Cassius Stanley, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, BIGTIME TOMMIE, Kato Kaelin, James Garretson From Tiger King, Butterbean, Kermit the Frog and Curt Schilling (38:04 - 105:11). Plus: Blake of the Year with phone calls to Brooks Koepka, Blake Griffin trying time defend his title, and Blake BortlesYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, the 2020 Takies. What a shitty year this has been, but we have the Takies. We have some great awards. We have 21 awards we're giving out. We have some celebrity guests giving those awards out.

We have Blake of the Year. We have, give me some more PFT, I forgot about it. I mean, we've got Big Time Tommy making his- We taped this a week ago. We have Big Time Tommy. We have Big Time Tommy makes his debut on part of my take. What other awards? No, but the awards.

The awards. We have, let's see. Oh, guys, still a live guy of the year. We have, holy shit, that show happened this year of the year. We have- Take of the year, worst take of the year, worst prediction of the year. Podcast listeners of the year. Oh, that'll be interesting.

My dad of the year. We've got just a ton of great awards, just a magical night of showmanship and pageantry. Great show coming up. Before we get to that though, we also are going to do a little who's back and catch up with whatever's going on in the sports world. Before we do that, part of my take is brought to you by the Cash App. Not only is it the easiest place to send money to your friends, it's the safest, especially now that no one is using cash anymore.

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It's part of my take presented by BARSTULE Sports. Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now. Use code BARSTULE. You get $10 for free, $10 to ASPCA. Today is Monday, July 6th, and we have the 2020 Takies coming up. Get excited. The entire back half of the show is all the Takies, also just a disclaimer.

Do not be the person to ruin Blake of the Year or podcast listeners of the year. Don't do that. Don't do that. I'm hearing, Big Cat, that if the podcast listeners from part of my take actively tried to ruin either of those awards, it significantly reduces their chances of winning it. Correct. So don't do that. Don't do that.

Let everyone enjoy it, but get excited. The Takies are coming up. Before we do that, we have a couple things we want to hit. I know we're going to talk about the Redskins name change, but I wanted to PFT. I wrote this down because I didn't want it to escape my thoughts. I didn't want us to just go right through it. Joey Chestnut is the greatest athlete of all time. That's it.

It's over. If you look at the career that he's put together and how he keeps beating himself, here's how you know greatness. He doesn't have a guy that he's going up head to head against. He's only competing against his past self and he continues to dominate himself from a year ago and there's just no ceiling to it. He's gone from like, remember when 50 Hot Dogs was like a holy shit moment? Now it's like 50 Hot Dogs is nothing.

Dude. He eats that for breakfast. There was ever a time that Joey Chestnut could mail it in his number one competitor that was going against. What is his name? Jake? Uh, something Matt, something. Dude.

How about Kobayashi? No, no, no. The second guy. Kobayashi has been around. Matt Stoney. Oh my God. There we go. Hanks on vacation, by the way, of course.

Uh, Matt Stoney. He wasn't there. They're doing it in a bunker. There's no music. It's fucking weird. Coronavirus. No one to push him. That is the time where he could basically, he could have eaten 50 Hot Dogs and more.

He could have eaten one by like 20 Hot Dogs. He still eats 75 Hot Dogs. He is a true champion. The only one who can beat Joey Chestnut is his fiance who broke up with him a week before the Hot Dog eating competition that one year that he lost. People don't talk about that. That's literally the only thing I could stop. It got in his head and he got taken off his game.

That was, that was, by the way, if you're dating Joey Chestnut, you have to know not to break up with him that week. Yes. Do it like a month before. In fact, like I have some theories about that, that Kobayashi planted her. Just to screw with him, just to break up with him before the competition. It was probably Matt Stoney. Because that is fucked up to do that to a man.

That was the one Matt Stoney won. We keep going back to Chestnut, topping himself year after year after year after year after year. It's just, I haven't seen an individual athlete go on a run like this ever. This is Tiger Slam, like mid 2000s Tiger Woods shit. That's a great point. It is. He is better than Tiger Woods.

I would say better because Tiger Woods only competes against what, 200 other people in a golf major? Joey Chestnut is literally competing against anybody that's ever eaten a hot dog. Also, if Tiger Woods had gotten broken up with, like right before he was going to get married, he probably would have won more majors. It's true. Like he, you know, like so he actually, I don't know how that helps. I don't know who that helps.

I think that would help. Tiger? No. No. No, Joey's just better. Joey's. I tweeted it. I wasn't joking.

I am blessed. I wake up every morning and I'm blessed to be alive at the same time as Joey Chestnut. You know how people are like, I was alive at the same time as Mozart. I don't know if anyone says that because they've been dead for a real long ass time, but Mozart never existed. Yeah. There's some people, there's some, you know, times in history, like I can't believe I was alive for that.

I cannot believe I was alive for Joey Chestnut and thank you, Joey Chestnut. You are fucking Marvel. I met him one time in a Savannah strip club, Savannah, Georgia the night before St. Patrick's Day. He was getting ready for his corned beef and cabbage eating contest. Yeah. He was just out until like 1 a.m. casually housing like several dozen Miller lights. Next day he wakes up and he eats like seven pounds of corned beef.

That's a fucking legend right there. I think people don't realize after the hot dog competition, you know, they think like, oh, they probably just go back and like puke and whatever. Joey Chestnut goes out. He said that to me when we were on the fucking bus to Staten Island, I was like, so what happens after? Oh, you know, we'll go out and get drunk. Yeah.

Like what? I ate 12 hot dogs and I was sick for like five days. George Chestnut ate 73 and he's going and doing soco and lime shots off the waitress's belly button. Listen, what a fucking beast. At the very least, he's a two sport athlete and should be considered in the top 300 of that guy's porn star list because he, the way that he's able to swallow those things is really, really open up that throat that's got to be, he's top 150.

Have you, have you seen like the trends? They'll call him like the, I think they said the glizzy gladiator. He, what is glizzy? What is it? It's a hot dog. People kept asking I was glizzy when I was eating hot dogs. Yeah. So it's, I don't, I don't know like where the term comes from.

That's why we have you, but that's why. Yeah, I know. He should be given the title of the goat. If you think about it, like nobody else can just say that they're the goat. The throat. A goat, the throat goat, a goat will eat anything and eat all of it. He is the fucking goat. People, when I was tweeting, like a video from when I was in the competition

from four years ago, people were tweeting like, oh, I didn't know big cat was down with glizzy. Like I was like, what am I, I thought I did something wrong. It's like people, people, they try to hide when they're eating a hot dog. They don't want people taking pictures of them. Bro, I got you. They don't want to get into like who is it? Was it Mitt Romney that just went to town on a corn dog at the Iowa State Fair?

Mike Pence will never use a straw. There's like, there's an absurd amount of pictures of Obama eating hot dogs. Yeah, like I saw somebody. They're like 20 pictures. There are reporters who make like their entire year's worth of salary just by hanging out at that Iowa State Fair and taking pictures of every single presidential candidate, being like, this guy, yeah, this is going to make for a great Photoshop dick later.

OK, so Urban Dictionary has glizzy. It just says a hot dog and then using a sentence. Pops wasting no time to throat the glizzy. He a real glizzy gladiator. All right, I fucking love glizzies. I glizzies all summer once trying to get Carmelo to the Chicago Bulls. I'll do it again. Did that work?

Eventually it did. All right, so that's Joey Chestnut. We also have sort of sports coming back. But again, like everything that's coming back, it's weird. Like baseball, as you saw the buck shut down their facility because someone tested positive for coronavirus. Baseball players are opting out. I think Mike Trout feels it feels like he might opt out.

I don't I'm not going to tell anyone what they should and shouldn't do. All I'm going to say is doesn't this feel like the one chance Mike Trout has to go to the playoffs, a 60 game season? That's the first thing I thought of. It's like, dude, you don't like you could just get hot for a couple of months and maybe go to the playoffs. It'd be nice. You may never go to the playoffs. Listen. Yeah. In this case, he might finally reach that point where Colin Coward

would be able to recognize him in a mall if you're right into him. And now he's just throwing that out the window. How does that work? If you if you opt out of the season, do you get paid at all? I don't think so. So he doesn't need the money. Yeah, he's fine. But yeah, he David Price opted out.

Who else opted out? There was a couple other guys that opted out. There was somebody somebody on the East Coast. I don't know, but the bottom line is on top of it. Baseball is coming. This is what you're hired for. You should know that you should have the fucking list. God damn it, Jake. He got ahead of himself because he beat Ravel on Bobby Bonilla day.

That's pretty good, though. Who opted out? Who opted out? Who opted out? David Price was a big one. He feels like an East Coast guy. So we'll just say it was David Price. It was someone on the Diamondbacks did. I know that Dan Herron.

Yep, he know he opted in. That whatever. OK, that was good talk. Baseball talk. All right, Redskins, name change. Yes, finally going to happen. Listen, I am 100% behind this. And here's what I've been saying. King, there we go.

And that actually I'm not going to count that against you because I can't believe he's on the brazen. Better late than never. He's another one. Dude, you could finally go to the playoffs. But didn't the Braves just have somebody that came down with covid? Freddie Freeman. Freddie Freeman had.

Yeah, Freddie Freeman. Yeah, hopefully he gets better. Yeah, thoughts and prayers pop up less. Great alliteration. But yes, the Washington R Awards officially decided to change her name. I've been on board with Redskins doing this for the last, like probably 10 years.

And let's just for the sake of this argument, throughout any feelings that you may have around the name Redskins, whether or not you believe it to be offensive, whether or not you believe it to be a slur. If you are a Redskins fan, most people that I know are totally on board with the name change just because it's a new fucking page. It's turning the page. They've been so bad.

The generals. They've been so bad. That'd be better. That the name Washington generals is more aligned with a winning culture than the Washington Redskins has been for the last 30 years. We've tried everything since then. We've tried since we like last won the Super Bowl in 1991. We've tried hiring old coaches.

We've tried hiring rookie coaches. We've hired bingo callers to be coaches. We've hired college coaches. We've hired Steve Spurrier. We hired somebody called a Jim Zorn. We've tried everybody. We've tried everything possible. We've tried new quarterbacks.

Tried moving the team to fucking Maryland. We've tried literally everything. It's going to happen. Let's rebrand. Now, here's where here's where it might get interesting because Dan Snyder said that he is putting together a committee to study whether or not the team name should be changed. I would not put it past Dan Snyder to come back with a report and be like,

well, my report says that the team name doesn't need to be changed. Well, then the thing, though, is that Nike and, you know, some of these other companies FedEx are going to put pressure on them and they're going to change it. And I think they're going to change it. And they shouldn't get credit because it took them way too long, but they're going to change it. So what do they change it to?

I said the teeth. Yeah. So you're trying to make the teeth happen. I think I was maybe a little high when I thought of it. The only issue is naming a team, the teeth. It would be cool to have you have like the jazz thing where you don't know, like, is it the teeth, the teeth, the teeth, the tooth. Oh, that's OK. That makes sense. Tooth. I don't know. But tooth.

I don't know. But you could have teeth instead of people holding the defense signs in the stands. You put an S on a tooth, tooth, tooth, the teeth, teeth is plural. I know. That's funny. Go teeth. Right. People are going to fuck it up. Yeah. The tooth. Like, well, I'm a tooth. I'm a teeth. The problem with the teeth, when it's the Washington teeth,

is George Washington had like the fucking wooden dentures, right? Yes. The nastiest teeth ever. You can have people just holding up wooden dentures. And I said, go back to RFK. Well, that's obviously going to have number one. That's why they're trying to make that happen, is they're trying to get back to DC and DC council is like, we're not taking you back until the until the name has changed.

So we're going to tell you what, Piquette, we're going to put a pin in that. You're trying to make teeth happen. I did a poll. I'm just saying. I think that out Clay Travis doing Twitter polls. I think they should be final seventy five percent said yes. I think they should. I've got a couple ideas. One, it sounds like the Warriors and the Red Tails are the leaders in the clubhouse right now. Yeah, whatever. That's fine. Kind of boring, but it works.

Uh, they should move it to Clinton, Maryland. Call them the Clinton body counts. That would be sick. So you've been reading Q and on. And yeah, the Clinton Clinton kill lists. OK, they could alternately call themselves the Washington Bullets. I think would be awesome because they changed the name of the bullets back in the nineties when the murder rate was high. And because the team name got changed, the murder rate went way down

just because that name changed. I thought it was because of the assassination. No, it's just because of the. Yeah, just because. No, I thought the bullets was the assassination of wasn't someone got assassinated and that's why they changed it. Oh, no, that was the guy in the park, Vince Foster. Now you're reading Q and on big cat. No, no, no, no, I'm pretty sure the Washington Bullets part of the reason why was because they there was some assassination.

No, it was it was because D.C. was the murder capital of the United States at the time. And so they changed that. Yeah, you're soccer being an assassin. But now come back, bring bring back the bullets. It's time. The jerseys were for the old bullets were fire. Or they could name them. It's been a while since we've had a team that's been named after

like a really big movie that's come out. We had the Raptors do that. We had the mighty ducks do that for the NHL back in the day. We haven't had one of those in like 10 years. So Washington parasites. OK, we sick. Washington green books. OK. Washington boner dogs. OK.

Washington and then they just make red skins in all caps because a couple of years ago, Dan Snyder was like, I'm not changing the name. You can put that in all caps. What about what about the Washington skins? And then the the mascot is Hannibal. OK, yeah, the serial killer. I like that. The movies. Hannibal.

Just keep red skins and have it. It's Michael, Mike Shanahan's red face just staring at the sun. Could you imagine if they had fucking Dwayne Haskins coming out on the gurney and like his Ray Lewis entrance? Is him with the mask on? That'd be nice. That would be cool. The Washington Haskins. Yeah. Well, he's not going to be on the team for very long. What's interesting to me is that they're asking

Ron Rivera to help pick the team name. I think that when they were making their pitch to Rivera back, you know, five, six months ago, they told him from the get go, they're like, hey, you're going to be not only in charge of being the coach of the team, but you're going to be the face of the franchise. And we're literally going to give you the power to pick the next team name. What if he hit who's his hero, Dicka?

What if he Washington, Dicka's just Swagger Jack Chicago? It was like Washington, Dicka's. Yes. And then he just comes out for the national anthem every time just farts into the microphone. Lights up a cigar and leaves knowing Ron Rivera, though, like he's pretty boring. He'll just name it like he'll be like the Washington maroon. Like are the first thing he sees burgundy.

Yeah, the Washington rugs. What about the rugs? Actually, the Washington carpets. Washington carpets is not bad. That's kind of confusing. I see. I want them to do some oddball like that. The teeth, the carpet, what about Hannibal thing? I would be some stupid. I'd be fine with Washington football club.

Washington FC, soccer and all that bullshit. Yeah, but that's that way it's stealing football back from the Brits. Yeah, I I just think they have a chance to do something really stupid. Oh, and it would if you do something really stupid, it will totally eliminate everything that's happened before. Like if you do the Washington Warriors, everyone's like, well, took them long enough.

If you do a fucking huge unveiling and it's the Washington carpets. You've changed the narrative, my friend. I mean, you could get stupider without like just being dumb. What if you just had like the Washington Cumshots? No, you can't because that you have to do it like something ordinary that is like actually like they could never name it the Washington Cumshots. If you get more 0.001 percent chance, they could name it the Washington carpets.

But if you get more offensive than what the team name was before, then people beg Dan Snyder to change it back. Right. And he's the hero by changing his name. That's a little goalpost move. Yeah, I like that. I kind of anchor the negotiation. What's the most offensive name? I don't think we probably don't need to go down that road.

But yeah, I it's going to happen. And then I would assume the Indians are next. And then who's going to hold on? The Braves are going to hold on for a while. Yeah, they're going to hold on as long as they can. I don't know. It's just like and then, of course, they'll be hand-wringing in every movie. I can't believe you did it.

I just fucking change it. I think I think it's I think it'd be cool to have the chance to make a opportunity to change it and just like Dan Snyder. Just get get a fucking room and I'll nominate myself for it of a bunch of dudes getting really high and we'll just come up with a new name. Listen, I am very excited about this because I mean, just a new team name for a team that I grew up rooting for is awesome.

Also, you can it feels like this is like I get to buy a bunch of new T-shirts. You can sell fucking. Yeah, you can sell a lot of new shit. Yeah. During a pandemic. No brainer. The Washington tailors. They're kind of named after Sean Taylor. But the logo is just a man like measuring your in short. Yes, short dude.

Tailors are always short. Yeah. Measuring. Short dude with a with a sick mustache. Measuring Dan Snyder's inseam and being like, oh, sir, it looks like you dressed immediately right down the middle because your penis isn't long enough to reach the leg holes. He's just like, this is your tailor. He's right next to the baker shop.

And it's like, you got all these guys are my guys. If it if it does become red tails, we're going to see a lot of furries become Washington Redskins fans. And they're just going to walk around just like with a little red fuzzy tail poking out of the back of his. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So that's going to change. And then the other thing we had was Bryson D.

Shambo being the biggest douchebag all time. I did have an idea that I tweeted out. But I feel like it's worth more discussion. Like let's ring some more. Let's ring some ratings out of this choice and call it the decision. Like the LeBron James got it. And it's like Chuck Todd on one of the morning shows interviewing Dan Snyder. Just trying to get it really.

But he wouldn't be Dan Snyder. He's he's got to just be so confused that like, why is everything changing right now? Why is why are people mad about it? Yeah, he probably hasn't even fucking turned on the news. Yeah. Hmm. I'm just excited. I'm excited.

Like this is like a new a new birth for me in terms of my football team. Washington after births. There you go. Washington placentas. That works. All right. So Bryson D. Shambo. Holy shit. This guy, does he have any idea like how the media works? So how it goes is Bryson D.

Shambo has gotten bigger. He's hitting bombs. It's electric. Awesome to watch. And then he got in a fight with a cameraman on Saturday and said the cameraman was following him, a.k.a. doing his job as a cameraman and that cameraman and women shouldn't be putting them in a negative light all the time after like bad shots

because it can hurt their image and their brand. So he's saying that it's bad form for the cameraman to be filming Bryson after he hits a shot that doesn't go according to which is literally the only reason you watch golf to see somebody get pissed off outside of them, the four majors. I'm watching golf to see someone shit down their fucking leg. You know what? I'm out on Bryson D.

Shambo. Yes, he's big with the bombs. Yes, he's put on weight, but he's artificially. I'm going to say it right now. I think he's taking steroids. I think that it's artificial popcorn muscles. I also wouldn't be surprised if he gave Brooks Kepke's caddy coronavirus. He triangulated the way to get the droplets sprayed directly right on him.

You don't just go from being a math guy, from being a guy who's most known on the PGA tour for taking 90 seconds between shots and like doing calculus in your head instead of putting right six footer to being like the the the tour Hulk, you don't just you don't make that transition. I am not he now he's rocking the fucking tight shirts. And he the Scali capital. I don't think he's I don't think he changed it. I think he's just like stuck with the same clothes.

Well, it just got bigger with his size. Never bought new clothes. Yeah, he just looks like he's a dad picking their son up from a dropkick Murphy show. And it's he looks like a poser. I'm calling him out. Bryson D. Shambo's but fuck you.

OK, so counterpoint the bombs. Yeah, the bombs that he hits are so electric. And I don't know what the fucking spin action or whatever the hell they call it. The club speed, whatever the golf nerds say, I'm in on all of it. I don't fucking love watching it. I hate Bryson D. Shambo. I think he's a douchebag and you can quote me on that. But I'm here for the bombs.

Yeah, I'll watch him. I'll watch him drive every single hole. I won't watch after that. I think he's a he's a JV Kepka. I that's actually offensive to our friend Brooks Kepka. But he's trying to be. I don't even think he is a JV. He's trying to be fresh cut from the freshman squad.

He hits bombs. Yeah, and he and and I still don't understand the thought process of getting mad at a cameraman and then getting like so mad that he talks to the media saying the cameraman was in the wrong and then making it so much bigger. Streisand affected himself out of this world. So he did this after the round was over. He he got in a fight with him at like during the court like so. So he hit a bad shot.

The cameraman followed him again. The cameraman's job. And then he had words with them for about a minute in the middle of the round. And then afterwards was like, I don't think they should show us in our worst moments bad for our brand and image. Yeah, he probably thinks his own caddy is a spy. He's like, why is this guy hanging out next to me? Tell me what shots to hit.

Oh, my God. It's I mean, Bryson, you do realize you're on tour, dude. You're not just fucking, you know, you don't have a tea time on Sunday morning with the with the fellas at the local country club and being like, why is this cameraman? Why the paparazzi out? Bryson's going to be a guy at some point this year is going to try to be a bad ass and roll up one of his one of the cuffs on his legs and hit a shot out

of the water, spray himself down with water, and then he's going to get pissed off that a camera actually broadcasted. Right. Right. Exactly. All right, let's do. So we got take he's coming up. Let's get to our who's back of the week. We have Jake here. Hank is on vacation.

Jake, why don't you lead us off? Who's back of the week? Jake, Hank sent one in, but I want to I have one as well. Vacations, Hank's suggestion. Yeah, no, Hank's was Mazvid all recurring, recurring guest. Yes, shadow realm. Yes. Fighting on short notice on Saturday night. That's going to be a lecture.

So that'll be nice. And mine is live basketball. We got the TBT that started this weekend and paired with March Madness Nostalgia, you've got the big time in major names. You've got Fletcher McGee from Wofford. You've got Mike Dom from South Dakota State. The Dominator app from Wisconsin. Yep. Wet.

My pick, Bayhams Army, no bias whatsoever. We're playing on Tuesday. Eric DeVendorf and company. We don't talk about TBT around here, though. Real quick. All right. Point of order. Is it you refer to it as the TBT? Is it the TBT is or just TBT?

Because it's the it's OK. It's like TSN in Canada is the sports network. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's where we've got TBT coming back. Yeah, we've got TBT. Fuck TBT. It sounds like. Yeah, sorry about that. It sounds like a disease that's recurring.

It's like, damn, I got to go get. I got to go and get another penicillin injection. TBT is back. I'll give TBT a little credit. What they've done with the court is good. The NBA should obviously take notes. It feels because it's weird not having fans, but they got enough things going on

that it doesn't feel like it's a totally empty gym, even though it is. And they invented the bracket advancement sticker. I don't like the school. I don't like the score thing they're doing, though. I don't know. Elimending. Yeah. That's what they did.

The NBA also. Such a nerd thing. But they did remember how much I struggled with it. Even it was so fun. But I struggled with it. But as I recall, you liked it. But I struggled with it. After you struggled with it.

But I know I don't think I did because I couldn't understand the over-under. I mean, it made it more fun. Jake, explain it to me like I'm a 35-year-old sports blogger who's dumb as shit. It's a stupid nerd. Hold on. I'll do it first, then you do it.

I'll do it. I'll do it really dumb. It's a fucking stew. Jason Elimi used to kick for the Broncos. He made this stupid Matt nerd thing where if you're up by a certain amount of points, the game's over. OK, so at the under four time out of the fourth quarter.

OK, you've already really irritated me. Yes, I did a better job. The first whistle, under four minutes left in the game. All right, so Jason Elimi fucking sucks. You guys are fucking sucks. Thank you. I got it. Yeah, so I got it.

I was big catch. I explained it well. Yes, I did. Kick first whistle, under four, goodbye clock. You add eight to the team that's leading score, and you play to that. See how stupid that is to walk off fucking every time. It's sick.

Whatever. All right. Fine. You know what you're doing, though? You're limiting the amount of points that can be scored. I can't learn new math. That's not cool. Eight.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's the over under part. But, Jake, what if the team was going to go off after those eight points, and the other team was going to score 100 points? You don't know that. I'm also mad because I bet on Fletcher McGee on Saturday night because he gave me his word that he would like,

you know, he had that terrible performance against Kentucky when fucking, what's he? See, the ball. The Wofford. Yeah, they beat Kentucky. Wofford should have beaten Kentucky. Right, they beat St. Paul in the hall in the hall. I'm still mad about that.

Yeah. And Fletcher McGee was like over eight from three. Right, the first game, he made like eight threes, right? Yeah. Yeah. You don't forget Fletcher, and now you did it again. I've also texted a few Vermont players. I'm starting the petition to get Vermont a team next year.

And nice. And to the TVT. No, and to the TVT. It's the Jake Marshes. The Jake Teeth. Ooh, ooh. Yeah, you can start a game. OK, cool.

The Vermont, very cool. Yeah, the Blunts. The VVC. The Vermont, the Blunts. That actually sounds pretty sick, yeah. So we'll see what happens. Talk to me in 12 months. The Bonks.

Yeah. That would be cool. Vermont Green. Just think about all the merch you can sell. Gravity Bonks. The Gravity Bonks. The White Owls. But look out for that team next year.

OK, we will. The Heroines. I can't wait. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself between now and next year. Might not have any other sports, so who knows? All right, PFT, who's back? My who's back of the week is baseball staying relevant.

Because on Thursday, Friday, March, morning, baseball announced that they were officially canceling this year's All-Star game. So thank you, baseball, for reminding us that you're not going to play the game that should have been played tomorrow. Yes. Now, it's very nice of you to officially announce that today.

And you know it's because there was one baseball nerd writer that had the All-Star game scheduled on their calendar and emailed Rob Manfred. He was like, just a point of order here. I did make travel arrangements a year and a half ago. Should I cancel those? Cancel the team's hotel at the local Marriott? Yes, so they officially announced that on Friday.

And it was baseball at the same time trying to do a Friday news dump. And they were trying to bury this news on the Friday before the 4th of July, which is when you have any bad news, if you're a corporation. That's the day that you put it out. And so baseball was trying to bury it by announcing it on this day.

But instead, everybody was like, wait, they're trying to bury this news on the Friday before the 4th of July. Nobody actually gives a shit about it. Right, right. I was so confused when I saw that. And also baseball is relevant because Pablo Sandoval is back looking chonk.

Did you see the media member who took the picture who basically then did a 12 tweet thread shaming the rest of the internet for shaming Pablo Sandoval? No. When he tweeted the picture of Pablo Sandoval looking like a blimp, knowing what was going to happen. Like, dude, you tweeted it. You were the one who put it out there.

It said he cultivated master in quarantine. Let's see. Pablo Sandoval's week has been a discussion forever. Yeah. No, that's, listen, this is the peak male body right here. This is the perfect baseball body. It's fucking feeder all like, I don't know what's going on. He's got thigh gap.

Are we still doing thigh gap? The thigh gap looks amazing. Here, go to the chive and keep calm. Yes, still there. Oh, yeah, there you go. When life says, fuck you, 29 photos. Siri, you ignorant shit slut. That's not what I said.

32 photos. These strange times call for unique drinking deliveries, video. Chive on, brother. OK. Yeah, so Pablo Sandoval's back. My who's back is, I don't really know how to phrase this. I don't, OK.

Well, so who's back, big cat? Pedophile accomplices are back. Gillian Maxwell got arrested. And Alan Dershowitz. Alan Dershowitz. Allegedly, allegedly. That guy, keep trying to blog through it, bro. But I, so if you know anything about the Jeffrey Epstein case,

it is all kinds of fucked up. I was arguing with someone briefly online who was like, you have to let her have her day in court. And I was like, the justice system has to do its job. It's like the same justice system that enabled Jeffrey Epstein. But why I'm saying it's who's back? Because I just, there's something extra special about the political world we're in right now where both left and right

try to own each other with pictures of a pedophile accomplice and maybe a pedophile with their candidate. Yeah. And they both go back and forth. It's like, hey, you both have pictures. Isn't that the problem? I'm kind of the mindset that as bad as things have gotten at all the top levels of government,

having the Democrats and Republicans just tweeting photos back and forth of Epstein and Maxwell hanging out with either Bill Clinton or Donald Trump, like just going back and forth. Run out the clock on America by doing that for the next 10 years. It's too on the nose that people can't fit. Like I want to slide a mirror down and have everyone just like tap them on the shoulder and be like, hey, look in the mirror.

You're just like the problem here is that every politician's been with this fucking pedophile. Yeah. Has nothing to do with left and right. And it's the fact that the pedophile has been in all of the circles like of power. Dershowitz has been going off. Oh, dude.

Somebody get Dershowitz a medium sponsorship so he can put these these tweets that he's putting out a long form blog because he's just he's replying to nobody online and saying just for the record, every time that I went to Pedophile Island, I always brought my young daughter with me. Dude, you see, he said, release the tapes. He's like, release the tapes because if I'm not on any of them, then I'm clearly not a pedophile.

Wait, so there are tapes? Well, there's the. Did he just unknowingly acknowledge that his client may or may not have had tapes? There's an idea that Jeffrey Epstein basically taped everything in his house like all the time. So he's like big film guy. He was like, yeah, release him.

I'll be I'll be exonerated because I won't. I won't be a pedophile because I'm not taped being a pedophile. There you go. There you go. I have a phobia of cameras. Guys, melting down. But either way, yeah, those. I hope that I honestly do hope that she stays alive long enough

that we can get some some kind of fucking answer. She's probably the closest person to Jeffrey Epstein that there was. Right. And because I firmly believe that all the powerful politicians and just powerful individuals that were definitely associated with them, including the CIA, by the way. Now we're getting real woke on that. No, but it's.

But he was a CIA asset. Dude, he had so many people. I compromise. I think that she had as much dirt on him as he had on her. And she's probably the only person. Right. I could say that. So she probably has, even though she's a scumbag and she's done a lot

of unforgivable shit, pedophile herself and possibly will probably definitely allegedly a pedophile herself. She has maybe a lot of the information which we need to find out. So yeah, just how about this? Let's keep her away from Manhattan Correctional. Just have just get some fucking answers for the victims. Jesus Christ. But yeah, that's the new the new sport of choice on Twitter is being like,

look at look at this guy, look at Trump with him, look at Bill Clinton with him. It's like, but isn't the problem that both were? Yeah, I think didn't Eric Trump tweet out something about like Epstein or Maxwell at one of their weddings. And then somebody replied with, well, here he is with your dad. And then he like deleted it's its self-owned city right now, because there was also the woman who said, why have we not arrested any of the alleged like pedophiles who have been involved with Jeffrey Epstein, male pedophiles

that were involved with Jeffrey Epstein? Why are we going after this woman accomplice? And then someone did the dis you. And there's like 15 pictures with this woman with Gillian Maxwell. Oh, my God, it was incredible. And I love how can you be so stupid? I love that they're going down the feminism angle with like you were only choosing to persecute Gillian Maxwell because she's a female,

because she's a strong, bad ass, independent woman. It's fucking insane. Pretty much if you if you are tweeting defending in any way, you can almost instantly Google and find a picture with you with one of them at an art function in the last 15 years. Jesus. Yeah. Well, what's crazy about is these people have their pictures taken more than anyone. Like, there's so many pictures out here.

Like, I think that if you would go to Getty Images and search for Leonardo DiCaprio paparazzi pictures, you're not going to find as many pictures of them like carrying cat litter out of the local beastie feast to go home and feed his kittens as you're going to find of Gillian Maxwell just next to rich and powerful people at popular like public events. It's crazy. So I'm I'm glad that I don't think that we've ever been in the same room. See, now I'm now I'm questioning myself. Yeah, I'm sure something like this.

You bro. Was she did she attend the one year anniversary of BVT at Irving Plaza? I don't know. Is she a big punk fan? Dude, imagine if she's like sick of Takies on Monday. I'm in jail, but at least I'll find out if I'm an A.W.L. You know what? In the off chance that Elaine has listened to an episode apart of my take. I'm revoking this award winning listener status.

Take it back from her. It's like a Reggie Bush Heisman. She is no longer a listener. She never listened to the show that shit vacated out. Sorry, Elaine. Good. No, not sorry. Not sorry. I'm sorry. No, don't say sorry. All right, let's get to the Takies. We got some awesome awards.

Great show coming up. Blake of the Year is coming up podcast. Listen to the year and a bunch more. Before we do that, when it comes to meat, quality matters, but there's more to it than texture and taste, you got to try butcher box. You have to try butcher box. Butcher box is the best thing out there. You get great meat, humanely sourced meat straight to your door.

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The twenty twenty take. OK, let's do it. We have twenty two awards, twenty one awards that we are going to give out for the takey, the takey awards. Twenty nineteen, twenty twenty, half of twenty nineteen, twenty twenty. Only we would create an award that is halfway through the year, therefore confusing when exactly the award should be given. I think it's it's pretty clear that it's just like a twelve month period.

Yeah, if it happened since the last takeies, it's a baker's dust. And then we add in that extra month. If it happened in June of last year, we're going to count that. I'd like to just off the top of my head, give an impromptu award of worst year of the year to twenty twenty. Oh, twenty sixteen, not up there. I think worst year of the year is twenty twenty. We're not even half we're we are halfway through,

but we still got six more months. Once twenty twenty ends, everything's going to get back to normal. It's going to be perfect. Do you think twenty twenty is going to run up the score on us? That's a big question. They're getting some style points. Yeah, second half team. Yeah, we're getting our ass kicked.

Well, first no answers. First half, we chill out. Second half, we go the fuck off. Twenty twenty is going to go the fuck out. Yeah, imagine if twenty twenty hasn't even gone to the fuck off yet. Dude, we haven't got the aliens yet. Yeah, it's all going to happen. Although aliens could be I'd be down for the aliens at this point.

Aliens would be sweet distraction. Spice it up. A nuclear attack would be just a heat check from twenty twenty. Yes, one of these polarized caps is going to melt completely. Yes, exactly. So we have our take of the years, take, take the awards. I don't know why I keep saying take of the year, take the awards. We're going to give away twenty one awards.

We have everything. What was the award? We were just discussing that we could give away as an extra fuck. A bonus, a bonus take you right off the bat. Yeah, we were thinking about a bonus take you right off the bat. And it's already alluded me. Do you want to explain why would take is we even started in the first place? Oh, yes.

I knew we're listeners. Oh, we just actually listened back to last year's takies in the beginning of the show, I say. So it's time for the take ease because it's that time of the year where we have no sports and holy shit, would I give anything to go back to that time of the year with no sports where it's literally think about this. We complain about no sports when there are two days on the calendar with no sports. At least this is the worst.

You know what, it's not the worst thing in the world that we didn't get a batting title or a home run derby this year because such a shame. We are still trying to avoid eating each other's ass. So that's that's like a little silver lining the situation. But yeah, it's like you don't have a home run derby that week. It's the home run derby, the Espeys. And then there's like one day that's filled with WNBA games.

Yes. And that's we looked at that week as being the worst possible time to be us. And now that week is Groundhog's Day. Yes, that week I would give anything I would love to watch the sky in Mercury. I would love it anyway, because I always love watching WNBA, but I would especially love it if they had a game this afternoon, a little matinee with they play in the summertime when kids go to camp. But yeah, so that is why we created the awards.

It is in response to the Espeys that have been canceled. The Espeys happened. That was a fucking. That was a fart in the wind. Do you know how many people watched? I think it was like 50,000. You when you said that it was happening. Yeah. That was the last.

That was the first and last I had thought of it. Mm hmm. So there it is. Nobody thought of it. I think if you were a host of that show, if you were an award presenter or an award receiver, you and your immediate family watched it. Besides that, I don't think anybody they gave snacks and award and they didn't even fucking tag him.

Really? Like Sports Center tweeted it and he was like, yo, like, can I, you know, at least put my fucking mention, put my hat in there. God damn it, Jake, just as average is 402,000 viewers. Why don't you have to send that? But that making it the smallest audience on record for the event. Still, it's a lot of fucking people. That's all. You know what?

That's the gyms. They still have their TVs on from before coronavirus. Yeah, they haven't turned those off. The gyms, that's that's the only thing that's on in the gym right now. There's no electricity, but those TVs are still going, you know what? This show, the take awards for the first time ever are going to have more listeners and viewers, if you're a scare moochie, than the espies. So we finally passed them.

Yes. Good job. Yes. Yes. All right, so let's get into it. We have a ton of takey to 21 takey, some great stuff, some great guests, some great celebrity presenters. But we are going to start with with a nice general one to kick us off. Worst take of the year and the nominees and we'll discuss every nominee as we go along. So the nominees, this one is one of those worst take of the year. Some of them have been set in the past and now came came through this past year.

So the nominees are Dan Woken. Oh, that's a funny name. That's a very funny name right now. So he tweeted in 2017 yesterday, a college football coach's agent called me, literally translates to Libcat. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Yeah. He called me. He called me. And he said, LSU hired Ed Ogeron. We laughed for a few minutes.

So good job, Dan. That turned out to be the worst take ever. Like sneakily, that's an awesome thing to do because you get so much interaction on that tweet and it keeps on giving down the road. Yes. More LSU keeps winning. Yes. The more your tweet becomes super relevant. True. Skip Bayless for throwing away his Ezekiel Ely at Jersey with his ball level microwave. That's up there.

And then he had to take it out and then take it out. John Elway saying that at age 34, Joe Flacco is just going into his prime. Joe Flacco was an absolute disaster for the Denver Broncos. Our boss, Dave Portnoy, telling TMZ that there was no chance that Tom Brady will be leaving New England. And I had a subsection for myself because we started to throw it out there. I said my subsection is when before the right before 24 hours before they decided there was going to be no March Madness, I said I would inject myself with coronavirus

if they cancel March Madness. That's bad take. Bad take. I said thanks for coming out. Chiefs pretty much every time they went down in the playoffs. And finally, a worst take of the year when I Laker Dan, when he started tweeting Kobe Slander 12 hours before Kobe tragically passed away, which was just bad timing. There was no way that you could have known about that. I was in the major. The coronavirus. Laker Dan. There were some there were signals that maybe you should not have offered.

But by the way, can you inject yourself with coronavirus? I think you could try to inject. Eventually I will with the vaccine. Well, when you inject yourself with coronavirus, you don't get corona, right? Because you have you can only catch it through respiratory. Yeah, true. Through the droplets. I still can't believe that they canceled everything. I mean, I can now, but the shock, the awe, remember that?

That sucked. All right. So the winner is Dan Woken for his LSU. I could they hired Ed O's Ron and all we did was laugh tweet. Who's laughing now, bitch? Have it. Have it. So that's worst take of the year. What do we have next? Next up, we have trend of the year.

This is always a fun one to fill out. Kind of take a trip down memory lane and remember all the weird stuff that happened. The first nomination for trend of the year is Richard Mealy watches. Richard Richard Mealy, Richard Meal. Richard Richard Meal watches. What are those? That's what Odell Beckham got fine for. Got it.

Going for two when you're down 14. That's my personal vote, because I love to just flex on people and let them know that I know math. The math says if you go for two, if you don't get it, you can do it again. Yeah, I can't wait till that. See, those are the little things I miss about sports is just learning one small fact about analytics and then telling everyone who I ever encounter for the rest of my life, that small fact to try to make them think that I'm a smart person. 11 personnel, one running back, one tight end.

There it is. Good. Next nominee is disavowing the royal family. Yes. So whether that's your own inheritance or if maybe you are linked to visiting Jeffrey Epstein's Island and you're getting kicked out of the royal family, just separating from the royal family in general is very hot in the street. I like this one.

I'd like to say, preemptively, I will not ever accept an invitation to the royal family. No, I still fuck with the queen. No, well, then I don't fuck with you. That's a problem. Problematic. Ever hear of the kind of a pedophile alleged ever hear of the a lot of allegations declaration of independence. Hank, I have a bunch of people signed that piece of paper and bunch of people

paid the ultimate price for it to give you your freedoms and your liberty and you're turning your back on a queen. You're subjugating yourself to the United Kingdom like a bitch. Do we let Billy talk right now? Yeah, I feel like it's dangerous as soon as like Epstein's Island comes up. Billy's got to take it. Hanks, what the colonists used to call a royalist. Oh, nice.

Boilers. Got him. Let's tarred the feathery's island. That's right. That's in vogue. Tax collection. Disavowing. Yeah.

And have Harry and Meghan Markle moved back stateside now? Are they here? I think so. Did they move to Canada first? Yeah, they're kind of they're doing like a lukewarm adjustment period going. You can't just jump into the United States from from UK. You got to spend some time up in like Labrador. Shout out to them, though, for standing up to their creepy ass uncle.

Next nominee is cheating. So just cheating in general, whether you're the Houston Astros or your Tristan Thompson and Chloe Kardashian. Scott Van Pelt playing NCAA 14. That's right. Using sliders all his players. Only Scott would get away with something like that. And the winner is.

Cheating, cheating, hot new trend. Also, shout out to the New York Yankees because their fans were the first ones to jump on the ass. Yes. Turns out you might want to clean out your house before you start going over to somebody else's house. Cheating was very hot. Cheating was very hot this year.

Shout out to Alex Bragman for coming on the show. It was a real shame that baseball didn't play because he came on the show. Was like, I think people should, you know, retaliate by hitting players right before that came out. And everyone was like, oh, you're going to get smoked unintentionally. I think we did this a few months ago. The unintentional like beneficiaries of coronavirus, Houston Astros, definitely one of them.

Oh, yeah. Like no one's thought about how they need to get beaned a million times. That's going to be so fun seeing baseball come back and being like, oh, yeah. We have the Astros. Imagine if they break the record for hit by a batter in a 60 game series, like break the hundred and sixty two game. I think we can do it. I believe strongly enough in the unwritten rules of baseball.

Hell, yes. All right. Next up, we have football guy of the year this year, but a lot of football guys we love. So the nominees will be Will Muschamp, who said the quote, Thanksgiving is a meal, not a day when talking about whether his players would practice or whether he would watch film. So he's pretty much in and out as just a regular meal.

We're going to get in, we're going to get out. We're going to get back to looking like a sweaty dog, watching all this film. Dan Mullen, not for letting his wife kiss the entire team, but he let everyone know that he learned to multiply by sevens before any other number so he could count TDs. So that's a big time football guy. Huge. Yeah. Coach Ed Ozeron, our good friend for winning the national title

and telling all the haters to suck that tiger dick, bitch. And for going jogging at high noon every day to make friends with the sun. Yeah. Yeah. Roll tide, what fuck you? All time clip. Just pretty much having one of the best football teams of all time and just shoving it down the haters' throats. And then the Winnipeg Blue Bombers fan, Chris Matthew,

who hadn't worn pants in 18 years until his team won the great cup. We had him on the show. He then put on pants. That guy, all time football guy that we year winner is we have sound for this, right? We have sound for this. The winner is we have the person who is accepting this drum roll. People in drum rolls.

Thank you for your friendship, you guys are phenomenal. Go Tigers. Go Tigers. OK, coach, I just love hearing him say I love him so much. Thank you, boys, for your friendship. I love him so much. We actually have to send we just start sending shit. Send the trophy out. Let's actually make the trophy this year, because now we have Jake Marsh.

We have to send it to yeah, Jake is our wildcard, so he can actually follow through on an empty promises. Right. So we owe a trophy to Jim Harbaugh. We owe a trophy to coach. Oh, who else? What is the trophy? I think it's just a football. Yeah, I can't remember. We actually designed it and then we just ran out of gas.

I think it's just a football. It might be just a football. Maybe we just sign a football. Yeah, and give it to him. Yeah, we'll put it like inside of a glass case or something like that. Dip it in gold or a bronze dip football. A fondue set with a football. See if we can get any of these coaches to eat a football.

I'm down for that. Yeah, Andy Reed would absolutely eat a football. What is this? Yeah, just deep fried. Duncan and cheese, you're good to go. Little cubes of football. OK, next up, next up, we got the rising star. The rising star of the year award. And do we have a cameo for this one?

Yeah, we have a special guest presenter. I can say that the the nominees are Jason Whitlock for entering the take game. Yes, starting to blog. Woody Page still calling in his column, though. That's right. I give him a shot. Got to give Jason Whitlock a shout out, even though he's just blogging, which we've all been doing for like 20 years. He will write on his tweet.

Check out my column today. Dude, that's not what a column is, but I don't care. No, a column is a blog for boomers. And so it works out. Woody Page for starting a podcast for inventing podcasting. Yes. And then our darling, Jake Marsh, rising star of the year. I think he was nominated last year for this award as well. But for taking Darren Ravel head on, apply directly to the forehead.

This is not your content, Darren. This is Jake Marsh and he's coming for your job. Yes. OK, Hank, you want to play us the winner? La, la, la, la, la. Welcome. I'm Kato Katelyn. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. From one recurring guest to another, I am proud to announce the Tanki for 2020 media rising star is none other than Woody Page.

I know there's a lot of hoopla. As a matter of fact, this is such a popular award. I wrote a song for you. And it's a congratulatory song called Tanki with Jakey. It really took some liberties. Wow, and you're a winning fighter, leaving the after gone cage. The 2020 Tanki goes to Woody Page. The balance were counted and it's no farce.

If you don't believe me, just ask Jake Marsh. So thank you for watching this year's award for the Tanki. This song would be longer, but I drank four Gatorades and now I've got to go pee pee. Congratulations, Woody Page, Kato Katelyn. And of course, one more award you won. The Little Kato Award. He's missing a hand, but there's a high five.

And this is your award, Woody, Jake, you guys get a group hug. Well, not so tight with Little Kato. All right, congrats. I love you guys, Woody. Bye, Kato. Really, he goes above and beyond and delivers on those cameos, doesn't he? Well, I was just saying, cameo is great because we find out who is on cameo to make a quick buck and who is on cameo because they just desperately want to

talk to another human being, Kato, obviously in the latter. And then the people who just do the bare minimum, like getting get out. Let me take your money. There's a lot of those. I mean, I think that song is the song of the summer. Yes, summer. Yes, absolutely. Wow. What a track. We'll put it on Spotify.

Who's Kato? Kato Katelyn was OJ's houseguest. You like lived in the pool like you in the 90s. Yeah, actually, yes. He is. If you had been if you had been witness to like the murder of the century, you would have been Kato Katelyn. If your hair was a little nicer. Oh, I lost. OK, yeah, exactly. You are Kato Katelyn.

Yes, you are Kato Katelyn. All right. Next up. Thank you, Kato Katelyn, for that wonderful rendition of whatever the fuck that song was next up. We have the award for Family Friendly Chain Restaurant, offering a sports bar style setting for American food and arcade games of the year. What an award. Who could it be?

So the nominees are Chucky Cheese and David Buster's. Yeah. And the winner is David Buster's because we love going to Buster's and we haven't been in forever. We're going to put in the all time Monday reading The Buster's Guy. So here it is. If you missed it, the throwback. Let's throw it back to Buster's Guy. Here it is.

My she's 25 boyfriend, he's 27 of two years is obsessed with Dave and Buster's. Fair. So far, I don't see a problem. I really don't know where to start with this and it sounds very petty, but I am at my wit's end dealing with my boyfriend. Some context. We have been together for two years and he is overall fantastic, very thoughtful, kind, funny, interesting and responsible. For instance, he always brings me my favorite snacks when he goes out without

me even asking for them as a try hard move. He'll come for me after a tough day at work. I work at a call center and get some crazy ones. For the most part, he is also very respectful of me. This sounds like a great relationship. Yeah, we were both raised Catholic and he's very active in the church and an overall stand up guy, which I admire a lot. Literally the only problem in our relationship is this obsession with Dave

and Buster's. I'd say that he's the total package. This is total package. I'm only telling you guys all this so you don't just tell me to break up with him because although we have this problem, I really don't want to leave him. I guess I will just get to the bad part. My boyfriend absolutely must go to Dave and Buster's once a week or else he throws a tantrum.

I am not exaggerating when I use the word tantrum. We are talking crying, stomping, etc. It's bad. That's again, Dave and Buster's is awesome. Yeah. So this is a little crazy. None of this behavior is abnormal to me. He will beg and plead and state that the only thing he wants is for us to quote,

go to Buster's. Why are you leaving Dave out of it, though? Like I admire the fact that he's short. It's that Buster's that he's got his own pet name for Dave and Buster's. Basically, you're in a relationship with three guys right now. Boyfriend, Buster and Dave and it's been more than a if it's been more than a week. He'll say we haven't been in quote forever. I love this guy.

I want to be best friends with this guy. This guy has given off major like I grew up in like some weird cult like environment vibes, right? And these prizes. Yeah, and Dave and Buster's was like a mural champion. Yeah, I like this. I like this first introduction to electricity. And so he just like fell in love with it.

Yeah, scratch MJ's competitiveness. This guy's got competitiveness. I've tried talking it through with him. I have suggested other restaurants, even other barcades, but it has to be. It's not the same. It's not the same. They don't have the same burgers. They don't have the power play card.

They don't have the million dollar midway. So many things. Yes, so many games. Take me to a Chuck E. Cheese and I will I will throw a fucking fall. So new barcades. They always do like the hipster throwback games like, oh, we have the Simpsons game. Don't you love it?

Nostalgia. Dave and Buster's has everything. They have the hits. They have the old stuff. They have the good news stuff. You got to go Dave and Buster. Just stay away from the deer hunter that makes you accidentally play zombies sometimes because like I there's nothing worse than going up to a nice

game of Big Buck Hunter. Oh, and then it's and then it's and you select your game and they give you zombies. Shout out to anyone who still has crews in USA. When I tell him, I don't really enjoy going with him and that he could go alone. He says something like, what do you mean you love Buster's? I give you all the prizes. This guy's given away the prizes. It's not even about the material thing.

It's about the process that he really loves. That's more than just a stuffed animal. Yeah, that's more than the bouncy ball, the crazy bouncy balls. Yeah, it's it's more than the like weird jelly hand things that you can slap and stick on people. Those are only available like being redeemed for tickets. You can't buy those on the normal market. You think you should buy beanie babies knock knock off beanie babies these days?

No, no key chains. Oh, you better believe he's got key chains. When we do go, we spend a ridiculous amount of money, which I split with him. Now that now you are a good girlfriend and he makes me follow him around to each game to play together. That's it. Oh, wait, no, no, I pressed him about it. And the only explanation he's been able to give me is that he had his ninth birthday at D&B's and considers it, quote, the single best day of his life.

This, you know, holy shit, I love this fucking guy. This guy is Jim Harbaugh. Yeah, he might be. I won so much. Absolutely something that would do. Shout out this guy because there's nothing like dominating something and then being like for the rest of your life saying, I just want to do that again. Yeah, that specific thing. And you know what?

Like the more I think about it, like planning your entire week around one day of drinking food and watching cool, like video games and sports, that's exactly what we do with football. Yeah. And it's it's also what's the alternative? Going through every sitcom you've ever watched and figuring out how everyone's problematic. I'd go to Dave and Buster's. You know, what's depressing is driving past a Dave and Buster's and not going.

Yeah, I'd be like, man, I really wish I go in. Everything that you do for the rest of your drive will not be as fun as going into Dave and Buster's going into Buster's. Yeah. How do I help him move past this? I really want to keep dating this man. I know nostalgia can be a powerful force, but this is absolutely unacceptable. Please help. Too long didn't read.

My boyfriend is obsessed with D&B's and won't accept not going there at least once a week. We have a great relationship other than that. I don't see any problem with this. No, you need to just you're dating the coolest guy on the planet. Yes. The only way that you can actually beat this is if you get better at Dave and Buster's than him. Yeah, that's the only way. You cannot tell him not to go to Buster's. You cannot tell him, hey, we, you know, let's skip a week,

because then he'll say we haven't been there in forever. You can't have him go solo. The only solution if you really don't want to go to Buster's is you have to get the high score on every single fucking game. That's exactly right. You have to win more tickets than a one time. Yes, that's really it. And he will never go again. He'll never go again.

Yeah. Or just like, what if they go on a vacation? They probably can't go on a vacation. I think they probably go to vacations around Dave and Buster's only in cities that have Dave and Buster's in them. Like you can't go overseas. They've been to Tampa many times. Yeah, Jesus. Yeah, there's one on every block.

It's like Starbucks in Tampa. Oh, man. All right. That's our Monday reading. Shout out that guy. If we can, if someone knows that guy, I would love to talk to him. Let's go to Dave and Buster's with him. Yes, I would. Yes, New York.

We will fly you out. I love anybody that's depending on where you live, there's that passion about any like weird small things. Yes, some find them fascinating. Someone has to know this guy because there can't be that many guys walking around being like, I need to go to Buster's

because of the best day of my life. Well, the single best day of his life. I mean, the staff at that Dave and Buster's definitely knows him. He's a regular. He's the only one that walks into Dave and Buster's and says, I'll have the usual. And honestly, there's nothing cooler than being a regular at a bar. No, you want to go to a place where everyone knows your name.

You show up and everyone's like, hey, here he comes. He probably changed his name to Dave and Buster. Maybe maybe Dave Buster. Shout out, Dave and Buster's way to go. Way to keep it going through a pandemic. Unbelievable. OK, what do we got next? PFT next up is the premature celebration of the year.

So we've got a few nominees here. First is Ole Miss and Mississippi State. Just the state of Mississippi, the Egg Bowl. Yes, gets the Lifetime Achievement Award. I'll say that right now for a continuously premature celebration ending that they always have every single year. The second nominee is the 49ers for putting up an Instagram picture of their interception in the Super Bowl and saying, hang it in the loo before they won.

And then the last nominee is the state of Florida. Just the state of Florida. Yep, just just pointed to Sean Jackson. We're ready to go to take. He goes to the 49ers. Yeah. The 49ers just because they put a filter on it and everything and had it all captioned and properly hashtagged with the right location. Oh, just tough, brutal, just tough way to end the season.

Kyle Shanahan. I kind of I want Kyle Shanahan to someday win a Super Bowl, but him just being the big game. Like he did that was a torch passing from Andy Reed to Kyle Shanahan. Like we need one guy who in every sport who constantly can't get over the hump. Yep. And if he's that guy, so be it. Yeah, it just happens to be Kyle Shanahan. I kind of hope that it sticks around with him for a while just because it's fun.

Right. It's fun to see different new ways that he could possibly do that. Right. It's fun to just have that storyline of like who can get over the big hump. Like you need that in sports. All right. Next up, we have postseason tournament that Duke basketball didn't qualify for of the year. The nominees are NCAA tournaments. But wait, big cat, didn't they cancel the NCAA tournament? They did. But unfortunately, Duke said they were not going to play

in the NCAA tournament before the NCAA tournament was canceled, therefore eliminating themselves. So Duke did not qualify for the NCAA term is what you're saying. Yeah, they Lehigh themselves. Got it. OK. The NIT, the CBI. And I think there's one other CIT. There it is, Jake. All right, we have a cameo. We have a special guest presentation from here.

Let's get it. Here it is. Hi, I'm Cassius Stanley from the 2019-2020 Duke Blue Doubles. Here's originally the take key for postseason tournament that the 2019-2020 Duke basketball team didn't qualify for of the year. And the winner is the 2019-2020 NCAA tournament. He was so confused. Stanley, who was on that team. Uh-huh.

Announcing his own team not making the tournament. We should have done an AOC of the year. I have Hank present that shit. Where do you transfer to? Ah, DePaul. Yeah, that's right. So you're going to get you get some good stuff there. Or Creighton, maybe. Maybe Creighton sounds right. Creighton sounds right.

Creighton. Yeah, yeah. So Duke eliminated themselves before the tournament was canceled. Hank has to get a cat. Nope. Oh, they didn't even qualify. It was probably their year, too. That's the worst part. No, it was a crazy. It was a crazier next to the play this year. OK. All right.

This is why it reminds me of Montreal. I was going to make it. Before we do the next award, P.F., do you want to do a quick ad? Yes, I would love to. The take keys are presented by our great friends over at Bright Cellars. If you guys have not checked out Bright Cellars yet, you need to check them out now. It's the personalized wine subscription company that matches you to wines based on your taste. So you take a 30 second quiz and Bright Cellars has an algorithm

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They've got a personalized wine concierge team that's available to answer any questions or concerns that you might have. So get your sheesh on. Check out Brightcellars at Brightcellars.com slash PMT. All right, back back to the takey words. This is one of my favorite awards that we give out. I do. Yes. From the start, we gave out Lib of the Year, the Lib of the Year award.

And I believe Chris Long is a three time recurring champion. Is he? I think so. I don't think he's ever been beaten. Damn. Tough to find a bigger lib than Chris Long. What a beast. So Libman, Chris Long is nominated again. OK. Also nominated for Lib of the Year, Mike Gundy.

Yes. For not wearing an O& shirt. All the times he didn't wear all that. Well, he stopped wearing O& shirts. So Lib of the Year nominee, Mike Gundy, Lib of the Year nominee, Drew Brees. Lib of the Year nominee, Billy Football. Yep. For re-homing the raccoons instead of killing them. Big animal rights activists, Billy Football, nominated for Lib of the Year. You cock. You could.

Billy, back in the day, when men were men, you would take care of trash pandas with their bare hands. We didn't we didn't take them over to daycare across the street. OK. What? Yep. This is OK. Libby Football. I don't have. And the Lib of the Year nominee, the last one on the list is NASCAR. NASCAR famous libs over at NASCAR.

So let's find out who won Lib of the Year. I ain't doing Jake. It's big time, Tommy. And it is my honor to announce the Lib of the Year award. We got a strong field this year. We got Chris Long, Mike Gundy, Billy Football and NASCAR. Drum roll, please. And the award goes to.

It's a tie between everyone. Everyone gets a participation trophy. You know why? Because that's the old school way. Have a great summer, guys. OS for life. Dickities. Oh, I love it. I love it. We got to make sure. We got to make sure. I got it.

You're part of it. You're part of it. Yeah. No, I'm not. OK. Every everyone actually got it. We all shared every listener. Every person in America has shared now in the Lib of the Year award. Yes. This I actually know, I think it's just the nominees. I think only if you were nominated. Yeah.

So we got to make sure that we. It's Chris now, your favorite long brother. Yeah. No, Kyle. No, me and Kyle. You guys share a trophy to give him an ideology. Yeah. You guys are Eskimo bros of a Lib of the Year trophy. Yeah, dude. I've you just you're you're fucking the same tax returns. Dude, I just I'm just Billy.

Just say say something nice. Yes, say something in the Lib. No, I'm not. Go ahead. Thank the people. I'm not thank thank you so much. Big time, Tommy, for the for the shout out. I'm a huge fan of your videos, old school style. Um, I'm a I'm such a big way.

OK, you are a fan of his videos that you just don't even have the line. Correct. No, it's old school way. O.S. for life. But he's just so overcome right now with his wind. I just I'm so like you're weeping. Honored. This this Lib. Cuckoo is just in my brain. No, there's no this is a way of life.

Yeah, it is. It's a disease. It's a brain disease. Is this Lib Cuckoo the year? Have you seen the bumper stickers, Billy? It's a mental disorder. Dude, when you go to the doctor. Yes, probably. OK, now I'll live with your award. All right, the next takey that we have is the takey award for question.

We asked Rob Lowe to ask Magic Johnson on Rob Lowe's new podcast when he had Magic Johnson on as a guest. Of the year of the year. And the winner is Rob Lowe asking Magic Johnson the question that we asked him. Let's play that question. I have another question I want to ask you. You're you're OK. So I did. Do you know?

Pardon my take. You know that that that great. Yes. Right. Yes. So those guys are huge fans of yours, as you know. Right. And and they're like, you need to add. I said, I said, look, you're the best sports podcast. I'm going to be interviewing Magic. He's going to be one of my first guests. Do you have any questions?

Do you have any thoughts? And they're like, you have to ask him. Does he write his own tweets? And I was like, what? That's of of all the things of all the things that you could ask one of the greatest men players. That that's what they wanted to ask. And so here I am. I'm asking what's why are they obsessed with your tweets? I don't know. No, I have somebody write them out.

I I tell them what I want to say and they write them. That's right. Yeah, that's what I kind of do. I mean, do I need to go back into your Twitter feed and see if it looks like somebody else like took over your feed? And there's crazy, like Charles Barkley smack talk going on. Am I missing something? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't I don't get into that on my Twitter feed. No, we're going to continue with the takies in a second.

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Mac Weldon is going to start giving you 20% off every order for the next year. That's at Mac Weldon. You can use their loyalty program, Weldon Blue. Get 20% 20% off everything that you order for the next year just by getting up to level two. We love Mac Weldon. Everybody here at Barstool wears Mac Weldon all the time. They've got some of the best quarters that zips in the game.

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The Canadian of the year, we've got some great nominees. We've got Don Cherry nominated for his service to Canada. Yep, we have Lucas Magnata from Don't Fuck with Catch. Remember that? Hey, you guys remember that show? Yeah, Lucas Magnata, Canadian of the year. And then Luke Wilson for wearing the part of my take shirt on Hard Knocks. Unfortunately, as he was cut by the Turk doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. He got back in the league.

He joined the he joined the Seahawks later on in the year. And he was rocking the Canadian tuxedos left and right all year all year long. That feels like 10 years ago. It does. It was less than a year. I was actually thinking about that the other day, because I was complaining that we don't have any football without realizing that literally every year at this time of year, I don't have football and I complain about it.

But for some reason, it feels like it's been longer for me to throw out football. I agree. I'm just going to assume that it has for some reason. I don't know why. But the Canadian of the year award goes to Luke Wilson. Yeah, sorry to the other nominees. But Luke Wilson, good friend of the program. Congratulations, Luke. By the way, if anyone can get any of these people to give an acceptance speech,

we are more than welcome to try to get them. Well, I'm sure we can get Luke Wilson to give us an acceptance speech. But hopefully the days after will live off the high of the takies and get some acceptance speeches rolling. Yeah, for sure. All right. Next up, we have Invention of the Year. This is a loaded class this year. Number one, Lister Quill by Hank by Henry Lockwood.

Lister Quill combining Listerine and Nyquil for the perfect knock you out. Clean your teeth. Now, do you brush your teeth with Lister like you brush your teeth as well? No. OK. You don't brush your teeth. Sorry. So you now just realize that this is a hack for you to not have to brush. No, no, you brush your teeth like what you you're it's cutting out a step of your nighttime routine. Got it. Teeth, take mouthwash, drink a little Nyquil.

Hank, do you cut out step two and three? Got it. You are. Do you normally swallow Listerine? No. But if it's mixed with Nyquil, if you cut it with Nyquil, it's you know, you guys, the technology, you guys aren't up to speed on the technology. The technology is that you don't have to swallow it. It just seeps into your gums when you go.

Ah, so you still spit the whole thing out. Yes. You're not swallowing the Nyquil. No. OK. Got it. Got it. OK. Seeps into your gums. Does the night? Well, I think you should brush your teeth after that, though. Yeah, probably because it would taste nasty. Do you do mouthwash before you brush your teeth? No, sometimes. I don't really have.

I don't do, but. Why are you doing so much Nyquil? Yeah. Why are you doing so much Nyquil? I'm not. But when I do, I'm like, damn. Wish I could cut out a step. OK. All right. That's one of our events of the year. Number two is why you guys got so many questions.

Pricey coronavirus vaccine, which surely has to. We're taping this a week before. So it came out. Good to assume it came out. Yeah. It came out last week. That's awesome. Sports are back. NFL 100 logo, which was so fucking cool. Yeah, it was. It's going to look weird this year, won't it? Yeah, although it could do one on one.

The new football looks awesome. Yeah, with the red, white and blue logo on it instead. Sick. And then finally, Elon Musk's truck that was supposed to be like the greatest defense truck of all time. Then he threw a rocket in the window cracked. That was a great invention. So the winner is, again, we're taping this a little bit before, but the coronavirus vaccine, which surely has come out.

We did it, science. I can't believe we're this is unbelievable. Shout out, Bill Gates. They said. Appreciate it. Yeah, they said February at the earliest, but nope. They got it by July 6th. Great job. Thank you to Billy football and his idol, George Soros, for funding the creation of the vaccine. Good job, guys. Love you, Billy. Thank you.

No, OK. Next up. Next up, we have this this category is the PFT's dad of the year award. My favorite. There are some great nominees. We had we had a new challenger enter the fray this past year. So the nominees are Mike Florio from Pro Football Talk, my internet dad. Marlin's man who has entered the chat this year because he hung out with my mom for a while and they're good friends. Interesting. And then my real dad. OK.

So who knows who it's going to be? Do we have do we have the presenter for us? Hi, everyone. This is Marlin's man. As you know, I'm a Barstool believer. Kind of the envelope, please. So to 2020. Take the best father of PFT of the year award goes to. Mr. Commenter, you're the winner.

Yeah. OK. Hey, by the way, PFT, the World Series Champion Nationals are looking pretty good right now. So your mom, I said my love shooter shoot. Oh, real dad. Yeah. All right. I'm very, very happy that Marlin's man is not my father of the year. Right. But he announced it. So he kind of still is your daddy of the year.

He's my dad's dad of the year. Right. Right. He's your grandpa. Grandpa. Yeah. Watch out for the elevators. It's great, great grandpa. That's a deep cut. You got to earn your AWL if you if you get what happened just now. My great, great grandfather had an elevator fall on a set. All right. My next up pretty simple explanation.

We got Thirst Trap of the Year. So the nominees for Thirst Trap of the Year are Doja Cat, who promised to was a little trap. Yeah. There's a trap free the nipples. She was going to dump them out if her album hit one. It did. Then she said, haha, just fucking with all you guys.

Pretty much giving the entire Internet blue balls, which how stupid is it that I just love the idea that a bunch of people voted a million times to see some nipples while on online where they could get all the porn in the world. And then when she's like, I'm not showing you my nipples. They're like, fuck you. How could you do this? I can't come anymore.

You know what, though? It's just like it's you always want what you can't have. So the first time you see a woman and she's got a shirt on, you're like, I really want to see the Tata, right? But at the first time you see her and she's already got him out, you're like, oh, whatever, right? You're just giving me that you're giving me the milk. I won't buy the cow.

Brooks Capcom, his GQ spread, where he was looking really, really hot and trying extra hard to be the heartthrob of the golf world, suck our dicks, Brandon Chambliss. Just bring the link to chimpanzee blow. And then we have finally Julian Edelman for his father's day thirst trap, where he said, happy father's day, dad, and then posted a gift where he had his shirt off, catching a football in his dad.

You could barely see his dad in the background. All right. And the winner, we have a special guest presenter. Here he is. Hey, everyone, Chris Hansen here of Hansen versus Predators to catch a predator and have a seat with Chris Hansen. I'm going to need you all to take a seat right over there. I'm here to present the takey for thirst trap of the year.

And the winner is Julian Edelman for his father's day thirst trap. Enjoy. I'll be watching. See you soon. Damn, he was going to be watching there. Yeah, he really creeped me out. I didn't even watch it until just now. You know, they did that the very first episode to catch a predator was like around the street.

It was around the corner from my house growing up. Yeah, the very first one. It's kind of weird that they just said, hey, we're going to take this residential neighborhood and just have a parade of pedophiles stopping by. Yeah, Chris Hansen is good to see that he's still just out there doing his thing, whatever it is. It's like you want to try something else after a while. Well, you say he has a show called Take A Seat with Chris Hansen.

Were you really milking that, huh? He asked the pedophiles questions. So who was your inspiration? Was it Jeffrey Dahmer? I'm going to say, you know, the crown prince of France. Yeah, who did you look up to? The OG pedophile. When you were a kid.

All right, next up. Socrates was my guy. Next up, we've got the Apology of the Year Award. Apology was a big year for apologies. We had the likes of Rudy Gobert apologizing to the entire United States and the NBA and all the reporters for infecting people with the coronavirus when he he got back from a trip overseas. Didn't take it seriously and touched every microphone.

Then we've got Drew Brees with the epic handshake picture. I'm not even going to address the apology. Just the picture itself, the black hand, the white hand, shaking hands. That said it all. Yeah, Mike Gundy, his apology when he actually did the predator handshake in live action in real time. And then Big Ben apologizing to the Lord for jacking off. Yes. So this is a staff field this year.

We're going to give the award to Drew Brees. Oh, yeah, the Shutterstock image of fighting racism. And I think it actually did end racism. Yes. Haven't heard a lot about it since. Congratulations, Drew. Good job, Drew Brees. Way to go. I still can't play.

I mean, credit to Drew Brees, though. Here's the one thing I'll say in defense of his use of the Shutterstock. He found the version of it that took at least 30 seconds to scroll down and find. He didn't pick the first one. So that's a good job by his PR team. Yeah. And he also remembered to download the real image and not just do the screenshot where it says Shutterstock. That would have been very.

That's what if Swag Kelly had gotten in trouble for racism, you can better believe you would still see the Getty Images watermark on his apology. Yes. Oh, Billy's mad again, because Billy still thinks Swag Kelly is like a number one quarterback. He is the best quarterback of the 2017 draft, 2018 draft. Yeah, that was a terrible take by you. Remember you said that? I love you so cool.

Yeah. OK. Good job talking to the mic. All right. Still alive person of the year. This is a big one. We have some good nominees to share. The first nominee is Willie Mays, who we hadn't just didn't even realize he was still alive. I think I probably have some part in that because I keep tweeting out that Barry Bonds, like smiling next to what looks like a dead Willie Mays.

So that kind of confuses people. But Willie Mays still alive, 89 years old, still alive. Some say the best baseball player of all time, still alive. This is why we need to get Barry Bonds in the Hall of Fame, because the vast, vast majority of Willie Mays's public appearance over the past like 10, 15 years have been at Barry Bonds Milestones, where he's sitting in the front row, like dapping up Barry Bonds. If Barry Bonds gets in the Hall of Fame, Willie Mays is either going to induct him.

Yep. Or he's going to be like front row supporting Barry Bonds. And then there is and then just make it a spotlight of Willie Mays's career. You get a double dip. Yep. Kim Jong-un, unfortunately, still alive. Was felt like he might be dead for a little bit there. But turns out he was announced dead. Yeah, he was dead. And then he's still alive.

He was speculated being dead. Yes. But I think he they were saying that he like he took a train and went to go live in a harem with like 62 prostitutes. He did the Lamarone. He ate a bunch of horny goat weed and drove out to the bunny ranch. And then finally, Tommy LaSorta, who is still alive. Our friend, Tommy LaSorta, he's turned 92, 93 or 94 this year. We don't know.

He doesn't know. But Hank, you have a cameo for us, a presenter for Still Alive Person of the Year. Hey, guys, it's me, Butterbean. Heard y'all talking about me on the show the other day. Happy to announce that the 2020 Techie Award Still Alive Person of the Year is me. Wow, what an honor. Tell that weekend, turning years, Billy, I want a piece of him. Jake, you have a great day, my friend.

Good job, Butterbean, just giving yourself the award. But you weren't nominated. So let's go to another guy who's still alive, who gives us the real winner. Oh, hey, folks, I'm WWE Hall of Famer, Hack Saw Jim Duggan from the Golden Age of Wrestling. And I'm here to present the Techie for the Still Alive Person of the Year. And the winner is Tommy LaSorta. Yeah, very much alive.

How about a ho, everybody? Ho, for Tommy LaSorta, tough guy. I love it. When you do the Still Alive Person of the Year, all you got to do is just search wrestlers on cameo. It's like, oh, he's still alive. Did he have his two by four with him? Yes, of course.

In that in that cameo. Oh, I love it. Oh, all right. What can I do a verbal meme? Yeah, go ahead. OK, OK, OK, Sean Oakman at the coin flip. Butterbean, I'm the Still Alive Person of the Year. OK, OK, which one?

The worst meme of the year goes to. Wait, OK, I don't understand it. Yeah, but Sean. Yeah, what does Sean Oakman say? Sean Oakman is big, tough. Yeah, but what is he? He's jacked. No, no, but what does it say on him?

It says it says Butterbean. OK, so he's strong. And then where does it say Still Alive Person of the Year? Say, OK, you can have it, Butterbean, because he's so big and tough. So is it a cartoon strip? No, I mean, it's got multiple panels. I'm looking at Sean Oakman. It says Butterbean on Sean Oakman.

It's what next? How do I understand? So I'm just like, damn, it's not even a live action meme. It's a meme that you have to read. No, it's not a live action. It's like multiple pages. OK, Billy, Billy, verbal meme, Sean Oakman. I have five dollars. Baylor, that's perfect.

Sean Oakman. OK, right. But that's so that says, hey, no, no, no, no, no, this is Hank. The winner of the year's time of the sword, Butterbean. No, it's me. All right, Billy, I'm going to stop you. Perfect. OK, here's a verbal meme. It's Derek Henry and Mark Ingram at the coin toss. OK. Derek Henry says, normal Sean Oakman memes.

And then Mark Ingram says, Billy, football is Sean Oakman. Yes. No. Yes. That is. Next up, we have the preemptive take. The liberalism is cloudy and mean. I hate pedophiles. OK. OK. Wow. All right. Thanks, Joey.

Projecting a little bit there. That's kind of weird. How do you disavow? The preemptive take, it just occurred to me that somewhere in Billy football's brain, a liberal is a pedophile. It's the same like the Venn diagram is a pancake inside your brain. The preemptive. We need to put all the settings so that's YouTube for kids,

for Billy's YouTube, because clearly he's watching too much shit on there. The preemptive take of the year award for 2021. We're going to. I'm just going to assume that Mike Gundy will be involved in the mix in 2021, Antonio Brown will definitely get back in there. We haven't heard from him in like, I don't know, six months in off the field stuff. So I'm assuming that he will have some sort of controversial tweet

or Instagram post. But the preemptive take of the year award for 2021 goes to Dan Dockich. Recurring guests of the show for eventually he's going to say that MJ is better than LeBron because LeBron has never been divorced. And so he's not committed enough to the game and to his craft. I like that. Yeah. So we actually asked Dan to present this award and he said, no, thank you. So he's a proud man.

He wants to come to he wants to come to that take organically. Exactly. I think he also doesn't want to leave a paper trail showing that he knows about that take before he actually says it. Yes, true. Smart man, Dan. Very smart man. Good friend of the program. Love Dan Dockich. I miss I miss getting mad about Dan Dockich talking about Big Ten Basketball.

Yeah, I agree with you. There's all sorts of stuff out there that like we love to complain about sports and about bad sports takes, but they're so fun. Right. They're so fun. So I hope that that guys like Dan there should always be a place on local sports talk radio for Dan Dockich. Yes. All right. Next up, we have worse prediction of the year. Now, this one is a deep, deep class.

So the nominees are Clay Travis for talking about the coronavirus. He said there will be way less than the yearly flu in the US. It's less contagious and said China has more than triple our population. Looks to have kept it around 3000 deaths and that's with an incredibly slow start to treatment and he'd be surprised if we get into the thousands. Honestly, so predicting that we will not get into the thousands. Where are we at now? I think it's like 120,000.

So he said won't get into thousands for coronavirus deaths. The next nominee is also Clay Travis. He said after more deaths rolled in, he said fewer people would die than in an average year from the flu. That appears likely to be true. And he said that and there's 37,000 people a year die from the flu. So that also was wrong. Where are we at now with deaths?

120,000. OK. OK. More he said he said. Oh, this was just a double down. It will get as bad as China. Three thousand people died in China country three times our population. If we get as bad as China, a thousand people will die of coronavirus here. That also ended up not being true. He also said our next nominee is Clay Travis for in mid March said

coronavirus infections are likely to peak next week. That was mid March. In March. Yep. Did that happen? That did not happen. That did not happen. And then our final nominee is Clay Travis, who has said that he'd be surprised if we got over 60,000 deaths for the coronavirus.

And then we have this under control. So he he quote, tweeted something in mid April and said, good thread to read here from a month ago as forecaster now for 60 K deaths at most parentheses and likely that's likely too high. Someone replied, I still don't think we break 40,000. And he replied, I think you're likely correct. So well, to be fair to Clay, he's just perpetually surprised. Yes, he's not saying it's not going to happen.

He's just I'm going to be shocked. It's over 60,000. And I guess he's just like always he's just like shocked by stuff. Yes, nice movie target thousand, couple thousand, 37,000, 60,000. Yeah, we're we're double that, but that's OK. So let's go to our cameo. We have we have someone who's going to present this for the takey of worst prediction of the year.

I'm Kurt Schilling and I'm here to present the takey for the worst prediction of the year or the best if you're woke. And the winner is Clay Travis for saying I'd be surprised if we get into the thousands when talking about total coronavirus deaths in the US. However, turns out he's actually right because there's 20 times more people that have been infected than not. So to all the others, they can suck it. OK, congrats to Clay Travis.

Good job, Clay Travis, with a huge one there. He actually wanted for predicting there's going to be no more than about a thousand deaths. OK, so it's the first one. The first one felt like it was right. Yeah, that's yeah, that's probably the best of those takes. Is he you think he's going to continue going on just like every 30,000 people who'd be like, I'd be shocked if it gets 30,000 more. Right. I'll be really I kind of I kind of like that.

Just stick with it. And eventually you'll be right. Yeah, it's actually doesn't matter if you're right first. It matters if you're right last. Right. And I do the same thing only. I do it with like sporting events that don't actually kill hundreds of thousand people that make very bad predictions and then keep doubling down on my predictions. But I mean, whatever.

I'd be shocked if Mitch Trubisky didn't make the probe. Yeah, 120,000 deaths, whatever. And that's like that's no one. Next up, we have the retirement of the year. Big year for retirements. It comes down to three people this year. The nominees are Conor McGregor for all his retirements this year. So it encompasses at least two, probably three retirements this year.

Rob Gronkowski for retiring last year. And then the third nominee and then telling all of us at every turn that he was not going to play football again. It was a great retirement. His his entire retirement was spent thinking about playing football and telling people he wasn't playing football. So wait, let's just go back to this one one sec. Is Gronk basically saying that he just didn't want to play like for the Patriots anymore?

I think so. Actually, you know what? I go back and forth because he might be doing that. And his body was banged up. There's also a chance that Rob Gronkowski is still retired. Right now, he just happens to play football occasionally. I wonder in his brain, he might be like, yeah, I retired. I don't do that anymore. I wonder if Tom Brady stayed with the Patriots would Gronk be back.

I actually think maybe there's a chance that would have happened that he was going to take a year off no matter what. I doubt it. I think, Billy, I would love to hear what you have to say. No, honestly, I think that the workload the Patriots wanted him to do was higher than something that Tampa is going to have him do. Got it. Yeah. OK, there we go. I think that's where he's like, you don't have to block. You don't have to like block Terrell Suggs anymore.

Like you can be wiring. Go outside with 100 years old win column for Billy. There we go. That's a win, Billy. I mean, just good. Yeah, sit back. Sit back. Enjoy the win. Enjoy the win. If you keep talking, you're going to end up in a loss. You'll talk your way out of it. Enjoy that win.

I think you're right, though. I think that if if Tom Brady had stuck around in New England, Rob Gronkowski would probably still be retired. Yes. And then the third nominee is Leroy, the dog. Leroy retiring after nailing the Rob Gronkowski. Yes. Big year for Leroy. So the the winner of retirement of the year goes to. Conor McGregor. Oh, wow.

Major upset. Yeah. Conor major upset. Well, you go Conor. Also, I mean, Leroy might come back at some point. He's leaving that door open. Conor McGregor definitely retired for life. Absolutely. No chance. Never fighting again. Absolutely not. No chance.

I will inject myself with the coronavirus if Conor McGregor comes back and fights. All right, let's go to actually let's do one more ad real quick. And then we have four awards left. We're coming up to Blake of the Year, so get excited. The Takies are presented by our good, good friends over at Mac Weldon. You've heard us talk about Mac Weldon before. They believe in smart design, premium fabrics and simple shopping.

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You may remember this famous winners in the past. Boppe, who else won? Jason Tatum, did he win? And Boppe won a couple of times. I think Boppe won multiple years. Pool of Stitch might have won one. So 19 year old of the year. The nominees are Addison Ray for his work in TikTok.

It's a girl for her work in TikTok. Little pump for his work in TikTok. Her rapper. Yeah, so he is his. Yeah, he's a he's a TikTok rapper. Yep, just a rapper. Maverick Baker, also a TikToker. I'm just not going to use pronouns here.

Blake Gray, TikTok. COVID-19, also known as the coronavirus. Lovely peaches, TikTok and Hunter Roland for their work in his work in TikTok. His Hunter is. OK, Hunter would be a wild name for a girl when I think it kind of works. I feel like Billy is going to name his daughter Hunter at some point. Yeah. All right.

Do we have someone who is going to tell us who won? Sure do. Hey, guys, it's me, Patrick Mahomes, proud to announce the 2020 takey winner for a 19 year old. Congratulations to COVID-19. What is the 19 for anyways? Oh, well, congratulations, COVID. OK, the novel coronavirus.

Love it. Thanks, Patrick. Now I can officially respect the virus because it's one something. So, yes, it took a while to get there, but now I will accept that. Wait, I can pretend I'm like a puppet on cameo and get paid. That was Patrick Mahomes. Patrick Mahomes. What do you mean, pretend you're a puppet? What do you mean, pretend you're a puppet?

I thought that was current. No, Patrick Mahomes. Did you not hear him say, hey, guys, it's Patrick. Very disrespectful, Billy. Oh, yes, I mean, Elmo, the 20th takey of 2020. This is a big one. This is one that really blew my mind when I was looking at the nominees. This is the award for holy shit.

That show came out this year of the year. Stackfield, we've got Tiger King. Who? Holy shit. That came out this year. Tiger King came out this year. Shit. What? Love is blind. Remember that.

Remember Love is Blind? That came out this year. Yeah. Don't fuck with cats. That came out this year. That came out this year. Fuck. And the XFL.

The XFL came out this year? The XFL was this year. It was all in 2020. So a lot of stuff's happened this year. The winner of the holy shit that show came out this year of the year award is. Hey, it's James Garrison, the Jitski King from Tiger King. I'm proud to announce that takey winner of the holy shit that show actually happened this year is the XFL. Congratulations, Vince.

And better look next time, brother. P.S., you should have signed PFT Dumbo. Wow. Okay, thank you. What's his name? The lemur guy from Tiger King? Yes. Yes.

I actually have a painting that's on the way. Remember Chilling with Chills? Wow, that came out this year. That was the show. Holy shit. That came out this year. She made a painting for our studio that we will put up and everybody would be like, who's that fat guy on the Jitski and be like, remember that show everyone was obsessed with

for like two weeks? That came out this year. That's amazing. Okay, well, thank you for the endorsement. That means a lot. Yes. I know Vince McMahon is probably a big fan of Tiger King too. So hopefully he saw that and Vince signed me.

I've heard rumors that Vince is trying to personally buy the XFL out of bankruptcy. Wow. So like before it was a shell company that owned the XFL. Nice. So then he had that to clear bankruptcy. I'm hearing he's trying to buy it himself. Nice. By the way, Jake, you should be careful because if that guy has any of your information now,

he's probably already used you for some plot to snitch to the government. He has your car. Okay, so he has mine. All right, well, that's bad. All right, we have the second to last. We have two left. So let's do it. The one that probably everyone's looking forward to the most, the Blake of the Year,

which has been decided, let's kick it to Blake of the Year. All right, it's that time of the year. It is Blake of the Year. We're going to decide who the number one Blake in the world is as a refresher course. First year, Blake Bortles won. Second year, it was just Blake Bortles versus Blake Griffin. Second year, Blake Griffin won. Blake Kepke was in the competition.

Now Blake Griffin picked up the phone in 2.8 seconds. It was fast. 2.8. Many say it will never be broken. Many say it will never be broken. Although I do think... A quarter patino. I think he is so locked in that we might see some...

We might look back at this Blake of the Year competition and be like, holy shit, Blake Griffin went to places we never thought a Blake could go. Or we might look back and say, is Blake Griffin bad for Blake's because he's so good and the dynasty is too strong. Yesterday, we got some news on the Blake front. Blake Kepke's caddy was diagnosed, unfortunately, with COVID-19, had to withdraw from the fifth major, the Travelers. You have to ask, is his mind going to be elsewhere or is it a Blake of Destiny situation where

it feels like, let's win one for the caddy? Right, right. How we're going to do is we're going to call each one. We're going to time it, and then we will, I guess we'll call them back and let them know who ended up winning. We're going to go reverse order of how they finished last year, so we're going to start with Blake Bortles. PFT is going to time it.

We're going to call. It's just a pick up. The first sound. Are you ready? Is everyone ready? I'm ready. Just say when to hit start and I got it. All right.

Here we go. Okay. All right. Blake Bortles is coming up right now. Let me make sure I don't give him his phone number in here. All right. Ready. Set.

Go. Oh, 575. 575 for Blake Bortles. Holy shit. That was quick. Very impressive. All right. 575.

We'll call you back. We'll let you know. All right. Okay. Good performance from Blake Bortles. Coming out of the gate strong. Good performance from Blake Bortles this year. Damn.

That also tells me that if there's an NFL GM out there that wants to give him a call, he's going to. He's sitting by the phone. He was ready to go. He was ready to go. All right. So now we're going to go Brooks Kepka. 575.

And you know what? It would have been faster. There was like a little bit of a lag after you hit dial, but it's going to be the same forever. You know what? I'm going to tell you go when I hit the button. All right. So Brooks Kepka.

Okay. Brooks Kepka. Go. Oh, 5.5. Oh, shit. Blake Kepka under the wire. Wow. Impressive.

Brooks. I'm improving. I'm trying. Okay. Well, you know what? You know what? You know what? You know what?

You know what? You know what? It would have been faster. There was like a little bit of a lag after you hit dial, but it's going to be the same for everybody. Yes. I'm going to tell you go when I hit the button. All right.

Okay. Well, you've beaten Blake Bortles. We're going to call you back. Blake Griffin is still up. All right. Can't wait. Okay. All right.

We're going to call you back. All right. Wow. This has become an incredible performance. Neck and neck right now. Can Blake Griffin do it? I think Kepka's got it. 5.5 is a tough number.

The hardest thing to do in sports is to repeat as champions. It's going to be very hard. What? You don't have a mic in front of you. Billy, talking to the mic that doesn't exist. You don't have a mic in front of you. You don't have a mic in front of you. You don't have a mic in front of you.

You don't have a mic in front of you. You don't have a mic in front of you. That's weird. You do not have a mic. Okay. Here we go. Blake Griffin. Wait.

My phone just went to dim. Okay. Wait. Fuck. I hit the middle. Go. Clear. Oh, 3.3.

Holy shit. You did it again. Blake. You did it again. Congratulations. Blake to Blake champion. You did it again. Blake Griffin.

You're transcendent talent. It was a tough competition, though. Do you want to know the final? Over the top. I need to know the times. Okay. So this year, Bortles had 5.75, Kepka had 5.5, and you beat them both by 1.2 seconds. Wow.

Wow. Yes. We actually were talking beforehand, and we said there were, there's the storylines that were going into this Blake of the Year was, will we look back and say that this was the goat, you know, status for Blake Griffin? Will we look back? PFT was saying, and say, is Blake Griffin bad for Blake's? Is it not fair anymore, do you think?

You know, I'm not even ready to answer those questions right now because I put in the time. I'm also working on a last-dance Blake of the Year documentary, as we speak. And, you know, the footage will show that I put the time in, and the footage will show that I care about this. You know, if you can't accept that, then it's fine. You're not a real Blake of the Year fan. I think all the talk that we've had, we've had Bortles and Kepka on recently and discussed the Blake of the Year with them, I guess you could say Blake Griffin took it personally.

I took that personally. Every time you guys post a highlight of Brooks on the golf course, posted his mustache compared to Big Cats, I take that personally. I see it all. I don't comment all the time, but I see it all, and I took it personally. It's impressive. I mean, you're clearly very emotional. I can hear it in your voice.

Congratulations. The title is yours for another year, and, I mean, I don't know what else to say. There are no words right now. We're truly in the presence of greatness. Thank you, guys. And, you know, if I can, I just want to address the fans. Unbelievable support over this past year. But we brought another Blake of the Year home, so you see me on the streets, yell.

Celebrate together, because this one's for everybody. Wow, he's sharing this one with the fans. What a guy. Blake, one last question. Are you going to take some time to celebrate this, or are you thinking already, hey, let's move on. It's next year. You're only as good as your next Blake.

The way I see it, I have the rest of the day to celebrate, but then it's back to training. Love it. Love it. All right, thank you, Blake. Congrats again. What a job. All right, now the hard part of our job. We should just make Billy do it.

Now the hard part of our job. Billy, do you want to break the news still? Yeah, you want to break the news still? All right. I don't want to be mean to him. All right, so come sit in my seat. I don't have the heart for it. And just tell him, I'm going to call Brooks first.

By the way, Brooks, we were tipped off that if you go to Blakeoftheyear.com, it redirects to BrooksKepka.com. BrooksKepka actually purchased the domain name for Blakeoftheyear.com and redirected it to his own website. Cock the move. You have to wonder, is that bulletin board material with Blake Griffin? It really feels like that. All right, so Billy, all you're going to say is, hey, Brooks or hey, Blake, PFT and BigCat

had to step away, but they wanted me to tell you that you finished second in Blake of the Year to Blake Griffin. I can't remember all that. Billy, just be sure with them. Pretend you're cutting them from a team, from a roster, OK? I've actually been rejected from a lot of jobs. All right, talking to that, Mike. Billy, say this is the toughest part of any coach's job.

Use this stuff like you left your heart out there, and if anyone else calls and asks about a Blake, we'll for sure pass along your tape. It's a numbers game right now, and unfortunately, you've got to make some tough decisions. We're not going to talk. This is so nerve-racking. But also, Billy, you have to tell them that, Billy, this is important. You have to tell them that they can't say anything until July 6th, after the episode comes out, OK?

All right, here we go. Here's Brooks. Hi, Brooks. Brooks Koepka. Hi, Mike. Hi, Mr. Koepka. Hi, this is Billy here. Hi, Mr. Koepka.

Hi, this is Billy here. I'd just like to report that you had a strong showing in the Blake of the Year, but unfortunately, you were beat by Blake Griffin by quite a substantial margin. But you beat Bortles by a very close margin. I'd like to thank you for participating in Blake of the Year. PFT and Big Cat had to step away and left me with the responsibility of calling you. I hope you have a good rest of your day. Please don't report on this until July 6th, when the episode is airing.

Thank you for your time. Bullshit. Brooks, is there anything? Better luck next year, Brooks. Do you have any regrets on purchasing that website? Do you feel like maybe you celebrated before you reached the end zone there a little bit? No, at the end of the day, listen, we all know who it is. That's why Blakeoftheyear.com.

Let's check it out. So the final tally was, Blake Griffin was 3.3 seconds. You were 5.5. Blake Bortles was 5.75. Blake Griffin actually was slower than he was last year, but he still was able to beat. So that's the block. I'm trying to recount. We can go back and check the tape and get VAR on this?

Yeah, I don't see anything changing. I mean, he beat you by a pretty substantial margin there. Yeah, I better check training harder. Oh, by the way, do you have coronavirus? No, I don't have corona if my catty does. Okay, good. But you do, do you not? Yeah, I don't have corona.

Yeah. Some people were saying that you made that story up so that you could be home for Blakeoftheyear. I mean, I would not have had, I would actually be playing golf right now. So it, you know what? It would have been a great story if I won. Yeah. It would have just showed a lot of heart. Shit.

Shit. Are you allowed to have cell phones on the PGA tour? I mean, listen, there's five majors. Blakeoftheyear is one of them. Yeah. Travellers. Travellers is definitely one of them. Where would you rank the travelers in terms of all-time golf tournaments?

It's definitely up there. It's pretty close. Yeah, it's the sixth major behind Blakeoftheyear. Behind Blakeoftheyear. Yeah. Absolutely. All right. We'll be well.

It sucks. Yeah. I'm over two. This is actually really starting to piss me off. Yeah. Blake, next year, we're going to actually change the competition. So we'll figure out something that's different than just the phone calls. We were actually going to do that this year, but obviously there's a pandemic.

Next year, maybe we'll have a mono-e-mono situation. Mm-hmm. I like that. Yeah. I got it. All right. We'll talk to you later. Good luck, Brooks.

All right. See ya. All right. Now the hardest one. Our first Blake, you never forget your first Blake. It never gets any easier either. Billy, if you physically cannot talk into this mic, I'm going to punch you. I'm going to punch the mic into your mouth.

I don't know how it's possible. He literally is sitting right here, and I have to, I push his face closer to the mic because he just drifts. Well, how do I talk into the phone with the mic? You're doing it. He don't. He don't. Just talk.

Your voice will carry you into the microphone of the phone, Billy. All right. Here we go. Blake Portals. Hello. Hi, Mr. Portals. Yeah. Is this Billy?

Hi. This is Billy with part of my take. I would like to regretfully inform you that you did not win Blake of the Year. Oh, fuck you. I'm very, I'm very, I'm very sorry to be the bearer of bad news. PFT and Big Cat were not able to muster up the strength to tell this to you. You had a very good showing compared to last year, but it was not enough to beat Brooks and Blake.

I gave it third. By a margin of .25 seconds, I would suggest you maybe change your cell phone carrier to speed up your answering. I'd be very willing to help research ways for you to get a faster answering. I hope you're having a good day and please do not report on the results until July 6th when this airs. Thank you so much for your time and have a good one. And good luck.

Hey, thanks, Billy. Hey, fuck. Blake. Blake. Sorry, man. Sorry, Jude. Oh, dude. I couldn't have answered any faster.

It was a very strong performance. I'm shocked that both Brooks and Blake Griffin were able to pick up faster because you set a very high bar. You have nothing to be ashamed of this year. God, and I'm still low man on the podium. Yeah, but we were just saying before we called you, like, listen, you're still our first Blake and you never forget your first. Hey, that is true.

I'll never forget it. I appreciate that. Yeah. So you'll be. All right. So yeah, we're going to release this episode July 6th. So you're just going to have to stew with this internally for a while. We don't want to end up screwing up any of the betting markets.

Yeah. Yeah. So that's tough. I appreciate you letting me know, Billy. He's a bearer of bad news. He's the get your playbook guy. The Turk. All right, man.

We'll talk to you later. See you guys. All right, later. Bye, Blake. And there you have it. That was tough to hear. And there you have it. Oh, fuck you.

That was great. What? No, no, no. That was the Blake's. Oh, fuck you. Yeah. Fuck you, Billy. Stunning, unbelievable.

Blake Griffin is your Blake of the Year. Back to back champion. What a performance. I don't know what we're going to do next year, but we are going to get everyone together. We have to. We've talked about the trophy for Blake of the Year just being Vanny Woodhead. That would be nice. And just dropping it off.

Yeah. Just like driving it to Blake's house. Yeah. And just like forcing the van on them. And then leaving. Yeah, right. But we got it next year. We're going to have to figure out some kind of competition where all the Blake's can

get involved. Maybe it's, I don't know what we can do. It's tool streams. Maybe, yeah, we'll do, yeah, we'll do something. We'll do something. But this was another great performance by Blake Griffin. Blake Bortles, still our first Blake. You never forget your first.

And Brooks Kepa is trying hard. Blake tried really hard. Yeah, they all tried really hard. I got to say, you can't even compare this Blake of the Year award competition to the one that happened two years ago. Right. Like the advancements in Blake's that have taken place recently, like it's a different league.

Right. Right. It's maybe some say juiced. We'll see. Are the Blake's juiced? Yeah. Are the Blake's juiced? Are the phone's juiced right now?

Yes. What's up, Billy? You have the quizzical look. Do I have to drive Vanny to Cali? No. Maybe. No. No.

Not right now though. There's zero percent chance you'd survive that trip. The last award, if you weren't listening for the Blake of the Year award, you probably stuck around just for this one. It is the podcast listeners of the year award. It's a very special award from part of my take. The award-winning listeners are so named because they have had a dynasty going. But there are tons of new podcasts this year, tons of very successful podcasts, whether

it's the Daddy Gang, the Come Boys, Rob Lowe's Lomosexuals. There's just so many podcasts out there with so many dedicated followings. It's going to be tough to win. The hardest thing to do in sports besides hitting a baseball is winning a podcast award back to back. Yes, absolutely. The winners of the podcast listeners of the year for 2020 are... Hi.

This is Tommy Lasorda. And I'm here to present the podcast listeners of the year award. And the winner is, pardon my take, congratulations AWLS on five straight champion trips. That was Tommy's phone. So congratulations AWLS. That's what you guys are called now. You guys have stuck with us. Time of no sports.

And the SBFive. Yeah, we'll make that. So no, we do appreciate it. We love doing this. We love the community that we've created. You guys couldn't do it without you because otherwise we were just talking to no one. We could. It would just suck.

Yeah, it would suck. And it's honestly, it's incredible because there's a lot of podcasts that are struggling right now. We've seen our numbers stay exactly or go up during this pandemic, which is a testament to all you listeners. I think the industry standards is down like 20%. We haven't suffered that. So you guys much deserved.

I do love you guys. There's a reason that I say it at the end of every episode. It's not just because I was trying to find a signature sign off. I actually do love you guys so much, much deserved. You guys deserve it. You guys are the best listeners in the world. We appreciate everything you do. We appreciate the interactions and hopefully, hopefully once all this is done, we can get

back out on the road and see some of you guys. So with that, anything, anything else, Billy, do you love them? I love them. I just want to say, even though they hate you, thank you for putting up with me. Okay. There we go. You guys, you guys have really stepped it up this year by just tolerating Billy football. Yeah.

That was a lot to ask. Throwing some curveballs at you, throwing some high heat at your chin with Billy football, but hopefully sports will be back sooner than later. And thank you again for everyone for listening and we'll see you on Wednesday. Love you guys. Love you too. Love you. Love you guys.

Say it Hank. Love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys. Stop saying the pedophile thing. Yeah. Love you guys.

Love you guys. It's distracting. Love you guys. You just keep saying it. What did you even say? I can't get canceled. Billy, what if there was like a 12 year old kid that was listening and you just told them that you loved them?

Oh, they won't. They won't. You are Lib Cup of the Year. Yeah. So it makes sense. Love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys.

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Love you guys. Love you guys.