Pardon My Take - The 2024 Takie Awards, 28 Winners, Guest Presenters + Blake Of The Year

Episode Date: July 31, 2024

It’s time for the 2024 Takie Awards. We’re ready to give our 28 different awards from the past year in sports. Awards included Take of the Year, Should’ve put a man on that shooter, still alive person of the year, Italian of the year, Florio of the year, Ratio of the year, Blake of the year and podcast listeners of the year. Guest presenters include Joey Buck, Ryan Whitney, Jerry O’Connell and many more.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, the 2024 takeys are here. Magical evening in sports. Yes, we have 28 awards to give out. The greatest awards in the sports media landscape. We have everything. We have Lib of the Year, we have Take of the Year, we have Blake of the Year, we have Viral Woman of the Year, and of course, Podcast Listeners of the Year. So it's going to be a great show. We're very excited and it's brought to you by our friends at DraftKings. Not playing

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Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. 18 and over in most eligible states, but age varies by jurisdiction. Eligibility restrictions apply, one per customer. Enter the Best Ball $15 million contest by 9524 to get one bonus entry. $20 entry fee required. Reward expires at contest lock on 9524. See terms at draftkings.com slash DFS. Okay, let's go! It's Part of My Take, presented by Varsity Sports.

Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by DraftKings. Get in on all the best ball action. Download the DraftKings app. Use code TAKE. That's code TAKE for all customers who enter the NFL best ball 15 million millionaire contest to get a bonus ticket and get a shot at being crowned one of two millionaires only on DraftKings. Today is Wednesday, July 31st, and it is the 2024 Takeys. Yay. Yeah. All right.

So sports. Sports, if anyone is listening to their first Takeys, this is our yearly sports award that we do in the middle of summer. It basically goes from the back half of 2023 to 2024 at this moment. we have 28 awards that we are giving out tonight. It will all culminate in podcast listener of the year award.

The AWLs are going for a ninth. Nine Pete. Holy shit. Nine Pete would be a record. It would be a record for most takeys won by anybody. This is like John Wood in UCLA. With this Hamilton. 20 Yankees.

The pyramid of success of listening to part of my take. You're part of it. Yeah. So it's going to be a great award show. We should say too, if you're listening and you want to watch, we look good boys. Wearing suits, get all kitted up, boys looking nice, even the boys in the booth. Yeah. I would say the boys in the booth are looking they're looking good they're looking like I would say over

three and a half DUIs between them. Yeah looking good. One of them's not paying child support. Huey definitely looks like a college kid going to court for the first time. Yeah. Like you got a you got a drunken public ticket. Yeah open container. I'm gonna put on a collared shirt but I'm gonna keep the undershirt on Probably not fully tucked in Yeah It's a good look and the judge is gonna give him a lenient sentence because he's just gonna look at him and be like man This kid doesn't have a lot going on for him. Well, he's gonna look at him be like

Your father owns a business. You seem like a good kid. Let's learn from this Yeah, max max might might be the one missing out on child support I can't see memes no max looks like he was lawyer. Yes, stand up memes. He's kind of looks like an accountant Yeah, actually looks me. Oh, it looks pretty appropriate. I mean memes looks like a pedophile Now that I'm thinking about it cuz he didn't have his glasses on he looks like he's going. Yeah, he gets catch predator I was gonna say he looks like an Amish kid that went on Rumspringer and had too much fun learning how to do like like basic Excel operations. Yeah. So he's a former Amish kid that now loves computers and works at a tech firm. Us in here we look good. Hank you look like a playboy. Yeah.

Yeah you look awesome. Yeah. Whenever you break out the round sunglasses you know Hank is either ready to do the take ease or took way too many drugs Factor fiction ah fiction You look like a drug dealer Circle glasses play I know squares are too too big for my my little face Yeah, it's kind of like an evil scientist type look too. Yeah. You're cooking something weird up. Yeah. Oh, like a tech, like a tech. I'm in tech, but I'm really just like selling drugs. Yeah. You look like a futurist. Yeah. You look like the guy that sits Elon down. He comes in like the banana boat. He brings in a suitcase of

ketamine and then tells him what the future is going to be with robot. Yes. I like that. Okay. That's a good, that's a good job. That's a good life. We also should have said at the start that in the past we've done cameos. This year we wanted to bring it back home. So we have- Not all the time either. Yeah, we haven't done it all year. We did it the last couple of years.

But this time we figured let's have our friends of the program, our good friends, recurring guests present a couple of the awards. So we have some guest presenters that will be great for the listeners, see some familiar faces, some friends. And yeah, should we do it? 28 awards to give out. Let's kick into it. Okay. So we're going to start with the take of the year. We're starting off with the- Whoa. Yeah. We're starting off with a bang. Set the stage. You would think the take his take of the year would be the finale, but no, that's actually the preemptive time now towards the end. I take the year. We have a lot. We have a lot to get through. I want to laugh about a lot of these. Shout out our good friend, old takes exposed. He helps us

with this every single year. Let's just dive into it. I want to hear what you guys have to think about a lot of these. Okay. A lot of these are takes that were said maybe a couple years ago, but they came true this year. So that's when they, you know, a good take usually takes a couple of years to fully grow and become a beautiful tree and then we can harvest from it. Yeah. You got to give it some time until it becomes flame and hot. Yes.

So it really reaches the truth. Yeah. So some of the ones that have come true this year that I loved, this one is from Neil Eyre on SB Nation. This was from February 11th, 2022. The Derek White trade is a disaster. Sorry folks. Brad Stevens made his first major mistake as GM. Oh, that's a good take. That's a good take. That's a good take. That's a good take. Disaster. Disaster.

And was the trade a disaster because Kyrie Irving was on the team? I don't know what exactly the trade, why it was a disaster, but Derek White was the ultimate glue guy for the Celtics championship run, was it not? And the first year too, the first year was the first two years. Yeah. Maybe it was just he was saying like Kyrie Irving will never win a championship for the Celtics With this Derek white trade, which was might have been true after Kyrie because 2022 Kyrie was already on the nets. Okay Oh, yeah. Yeah true, but a disaster

Experiment. Yeah, here's one. This will be a theme Colin Coward is featured many times in this one This is from 2020. This one was beautiful to watch sprout this year Name the top 100 players ever. Hard to find many that didn't love the game. Passion matters to me, but hey, Anthony Edwards has great measurables. I don't think you could think of one person that like loves the game more than Anthony Edwards does right now. But I love those takes, especially during NFL draft season where they're like, he's a great player, but is he really in love with football? Would he marry a football? Yeah.

Yeah, Anthony Edwards, I would say he loves basketball. He had a very good year and he clearly cares a lot. And sometimes you don't have to care about, you don't have to love the sport if you just love winning so much that you just don't want to lose in anything you do Yes. Yes, exactly Here's a good one from Pierce W Huff This is a call that should happen. Hey Monty Williams. This is Brad Stevens with the Celtics. I'm about to fire Joe Missoula Would you be interested in coaching our team?

That's a great call It would be it was coward too. No, that was W. Huff. It would be a very funny phone call Yeah, yeah Monty Williams. Although he he's pretty good at getting paid. He might be just a good coach at getting paid That's true. Yeah, I think it worked out. Well, yeah, it worked out great I want I want to do a little game called who said this quote you ready for this one I'm not leaving until I get a Super Bowl This is about a player that was drafted to a team. Stephon Diggs.

Nope. Oh, drafted. Drafted to a team. I'm not leaving until I get a Super Bowl. I'll say this right now. I could give you a thousand guesses. I don't think you'd get it. Zach Wilson.

No. Mac Jones. No. Again, a thousand guesses. I don't think you get it. That freelance. No, that was said by Tom Watson. Desmond Ritter after getting drafted by the Falcons.

Desmond Ritter is now on the Arizona Cardinals. Oh, that's good to know. I didn't know that. Yes. That's good. So he did in fact leave before getting a Super Bowl for the Falcons. In Atlanta. Yeah. You should just never say that as a Falcon. Yeah. These are these are all very fun. We addressed this one actually in February, but it's still one that needs to be revisited because in 2019, the Athletic wrote a piece and said, in case you missed it, Patrick Mahomes has thrown 36% of Troy Aikman's career touchdowns

in about 8% of the games. And Troy Aikman quote treated that in 2019 and said, in case you missed it, talk to me when he has 33% of my Super Bowl titles. He now has 100% of his Super Bowl titles. That was tough. But Troy, Troy walked that back later. He was like, okay, he did it. Yeah, he did it. He did it. This, this one is from Nick right this, this may, he said, by the time the Celtics adjust to playing real playoff basketball, the Mavs are going to be up three one Hank. Like that one. Yeah. Yeah. It's a strong one. That's a strong way. It was Nick. One of the ones leading the charge at the Lakers were actually

the best team in the way he was one of them. Yes. And then he pivoted to the map. We get any Kevin O'Connor Celtics takes. I don't think I have any. He had a lot of hits. He did say the war. Yeah. Every team that the Celtics were playing was going to beat them. Yeah. Basically picked every team to win the championship except the South. He said the nuggets. There's no chance the Celtics could beat the nuggets in a seven game series. A two for, for Cal. Cal said in February were built for March. Not April. April. They're built for March. Forgot about goal key. Yeah. And then also the AD at Kentucky, Mitch Barnhart said, as we normally do at the end of every season,

coach Cal and I have had a conversation about the direction of our men's basketball program. And I can confirm that he will return for his 16th season as our head coach and something weird happened And some then the chicken the chicken man the chicken man gave him a call Yeah These are these are all just fantastic again. Shout out our guy old takes exposed We'll rip through a few more and then we'll give you a winner Mason Dodd said hate to be the only grown-up in the room. I like this one just because he's he's admitting

He's the only grown-up in the room. Yeah, never a good idea Yeah, he'd memes would love that this and how he looks. Yeah hate to be the only grown-up in the room But puka Nakua has no upside Fifth round rookie wide receiver on bottom five teams. Don't move the needle I love the guy having a strong take about a fifth round receiver to like hate this pick Yeah I don't think this guy's gonna be a superstar you going out on a limb and then when it gets cut out from under you look like a dumbass. Not only that, but just to be the hate to be the grownup in the room, like that really

sets you up. Yeah. We had- You never want to be the grownup in the room. No, you never want- Nobody likes the grownup in the room. This one you will like, Hank. Dan Orlovsky said in 2021, he believes Belichick will win another Super Bowl with Mac Jones at QB. And he said, Mac Jones is the best rookie QB that I have ever seen since doing this job when it comes to knowing where to go with the football, when to go with the football and how to throw that football. Ever seen. Ever seen. Wait, what are the criteria

that he has knowing where to go with football? Where to go with the football? Five yards. When to go with the football? Yeah, nope. When to go with the football? How to throw the football. How to throw, but he's short.

But he doesn't specify actually throwing the football. No. That's the big one. Yeah. So, Dana Lovsky might not be wrong about those three things. With, when, how. Now, there is a possibility that that Belichick will win a Super Bowl at some point with Mac Jones. That's true. Can't close that door. Yep. Uh,

similar to the Cal one. Uh, Terry on Arnold Alabama cornerback said coach Shaben ain't going nowhere. He's going to die coaching. That one was, that one was nice. That one was very nice. Uh, Max, you'll like these next two. Congratulations to the 2023 NFC East champion Philadelphia Eagles. That was from November 5th, 2023. And also Colin Coward said, he said, let me pull this up. National League just surrendered to the Phillies. Nothing to be ashamed of. That was in 2023 fall. Oh, those were for Max. How did those go? Not well. Personal favorite of mine. Chad Johnson said in September 2023, all you fucking doubter, all you fuckers doubting Zach Wilson, don't

jump on our bandwagon later. I didn't. And I won't. I won't. I'm not going to. I never did. Not going to not going to jump on any bandwagons. There might have been one from the Bears from training campus that Sundays are going to be fun. And then my last nominee is from Cade McNamara on playing QB for Iowa. Please just keep on saying it's the shittiest offense in college football. Please just think we are going to be so shitty next year. Please. That's a lot of pleases. Yeah. And they're, I mean, they had a great punting system this year. Yeah. Great punting system, great return game.

Yeah. That's about it. Yeah, good punting. Do you guys remember any of your takes that were notably bad? I don't think I had a single bad one this year. Yeah, I don't think so either. I think I was 100% accurate. I might have said Justin Fields is the guy 100 times, but I also walked that back.

I might have said Sam Howell's the guy. I might have said that there's no way the Celt times, but I also walked that back. I said Sam How's the guy I might have said that there's no way the Celtics are gonna lose to Luca or beat Luca. Yeah, Hank I'd buy a good year. Yeah, actually you you did cuz you just you either won or were terrible Yeah, so the lighthouse was real. Yeah, we'll get to that. We have a take you for that. Alright, so drum roll the winner for the 2024 Take of the year take II is Dan Orlovsky. Congratulations Dan Orlovsky Incredible saying he believes Belichick will win another Super Bowl with Mac Jones a QB Mac Jones is the best rookie QB that I've ever seen since doing this job when it comes to knowing where to go with the football, when to go with the football, and how to throw

that football. Everseen is just something you should not. Everseen is crazy. That's what it came... It was like the sixth QB draft that is class. Yeah. It was between that and the hate to be the adult in the room, where I think the two finalists. Because it's not...

To win the take of the year, you have to really like do a, say something in it that is so absolute that it's like, come on man, ever see it. The adult in the room is a tough one because you're, you're already, you're crowning yourself. Yeah. By, by introducing or introducing your point that way. The Orlovsky take about Mac Jones is noteworthy just because of how badly Mac Jones flamed out this year. Yeah. So you're getting, you get benched multiple times for Bailey's Appy, it's tough to say,

well, you know what, maybe he was a great, maybe we're misremembering. Maybe we're allowing the recent history of Mac Jones to not remember how great he was. How great he was, yeah. We'll always have that season. I also am now thinking about it, I don't think there's ever been an adult in a room that has argued about a fifth round draft pick. No, no, that's the exact opposite of being an adult. The adult in the room says,

why are you guys arguing over a fifth round draft pick? Yeah. Like this is crazy. Yeah, hate to be the only one with a level head on my shoulders, but let's have an argument about Pook and Nakua. Yeah, okay. PFT, you have our next award.

Yeah, next up we're doing, this is an award that I absolutely love. We've done it, I believe, every year of the show. Maybe not the first one, but it's the Lib of the Year award. Lib of the Year, and we've got a stacked roster of nominees. First off, Chris Long for a career excellence in Libness. This is a lifetime achievement award?

It's a participation trophy. How many Lib of the years has he won? I believe two or three. Yeah he's he he libs. He libs hard. He's like the bagel bites. Pizza in the morning, pizza in the evening. He just libs. He's libs in the morning, libs in the evening, libs at suppertime. Yeah he's got the the libs strong wristbands that he wears all the time. Chris Long's nominated. Travis Kelsey also nominated. Yeah. His outstanding work in commercial performances. Yeah, the Pfizer, trying to get the shot.

Yep. How much do you think he got paid for that? $4 million. Probably a lot. Probably a lot. $4 million? I'd say more. Do you think he got free shots for life?

You should. Yeah. You should. Yeah. Also nominated, we have Billy Football. Oh nominated for what do you do? He ran for office against a bunch of Republicans. Oh, he must be a big lip must be a big lip then yeah And then final nominee is Jersey Jerry Jersey Jerry's nominated for Lib of the Year He's talked on live streams a lot about how much he loves Joey B. Yep. He's his guy

Yeah, he's actually been saying he's been walking around the office being like all you guys got to just trust in Mama. Yeah, mama lies. That's that's that's his goat. So we have a very special presenter of the year political commentator Nick Adams USA, okay Australia Get a boys and Nick Adams alpha male here now this next award goes out to the most Oversawed Marxist on Barstool staff. It's called the Lib of the Year. This is a man, and I use that term lightly, who took dozens of hours to get a single hole in one on a golf simulator and takes his marching orders from pro-communist unions. I can confidently say he hasn't stepped foot inside a hooters in at least 10 years. Without further ado, the 2024 Live of the Year award goes to Jersey Jerry.

You should be ashamed of yourself, son. Oh, that's beautiful. Thank you, Nick. I appreciate that. Jerry. We'll see if Jerry's, I just texted him to see if he can come accept it because I have to imagine he's so excited about this Yeah, he's named after a state that I can't remember the last time they went red. That's true. That's true Jersey Jerry What a lib big lib. That's what when I think of libs I think of Jerry first a hundred percent Yeah, first and foremost. He drives a foreign car. Yeah, that is yeah interesting. Yeah Okay, I already actually is a vegetarian now. Yes. No, vegan. Vegan Jersey.

He went full vegan. Vegan Jersey Jerry's what they're calling him. Interesting. Yeah. Okay. Great award. We will get, we'll get Jerry to stop in when he gets in here to accept that award. I'd like to just see his face. So how he reacts to that. Next up, we have death of the year. Big year for death. Death had, it put up some numbers. Huge year for death. Death, it put up some numbers. Huge year for death. We had that string the weekend where it was Monty Kiffin, Shannon Dougherty and Richard Simmons all in one weekend. It was like, what's going on? But the nominees, we have Richard Simmons, dead. Let's remember that he's dead.

Yeah. He was one of those, he was definitely in the camp of, you could have told me he was dead five years ago, we'd have been like, sure. Yeah, he would have been a great football coach, I think. Yeah, yeah. For one year. A motivator. For one year, yeah. And then once things go wrong in the locker room,

you're like, get this guy out of here. Yeah, we lost OJ Simpson this year. Rest. Yes. Toby Keith, very sad. Yeah, Toby year. Rest. Yes. Toby Keith. Very sad. Yeah, Toby Keith. Legend.

Love Toby Keith. And then we also lost Matthew Perry, who is nominated for Death of the Year. A talented Mr. Roto? No, Matthew Perry. Perry with a P. Matthew Perry. Yeah.

OK. The winner for Death of the year for 2024 take he is OJ Simpson. Congrats OJ. You're dead bitch. You're dead. You're dead. You're so dead. Sorry. Much, much, much better football player than human being. Yeah. And he's dead. And he's very dead. He's also extremely dead. He's so fucking dead so dead Dead is like the record show. OJ is fucking dead me I Wouldn't die remember when Hank found out that OJ died because all then that was that was one of my favorite parts of the year We got action with that

Clip in that was an incredible that was that was in midst of Hank either Missing shows because he was sleeping too late or he was all over the place sleeping. Yeah, you actually you missed OJ's death. Yeah. OJ died. Did you know that? What?

OJ died. Yeah. Oh nice we get to break the news. OJ is dead. OJ Simpson dead. Dead. Dead. How?

Dead. Died by death. Dead. That's confirmed. Yeah firm dead. Everyone's been talking about it Yeah, that's insane. He is dead. He ain't coming back that is I wish we hadn't told him Yeah, I'll see how long could he go without knowing who's back of the week on? Wow, so Hank you didn't know oh, she don't know what are your thoughts on no, Jay bad guy. Yeah, good riddance No, what are your thoughts on no, jay? Bad guy. Yeah good riddance And woke up at 11 11 a.m. One day on a show day and found out that oj died I hope everybody out there had the pleasure and the opportunity of getting to break the oj death news to somebody

Yes, that was that was an honor to do that to Hank. Yes. Yes. I believe it Yeah, no, he's dead won the trophy and everything dead person of the year dead person of the year We should get death back on the podcast. I agree recurring guest. We got to find him So yeah, what would you say for it? Like you don't want him to rest in peace? No, I said rest Yes, rest and piss. Yeah, rest and piss RIP bozo rest and piss. He won't be missed. Yeah, welcome to hell bitch smoking on that Simpson pack. Mm-hmm Hell is your offensive line being 120 pounds and you got to pound the rock. I don't think OJ would have held up over a 17 game season.

Agreed. Especially 18 too. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Couldn't play in today's NFL. Someone threw out the idea, which I kind of liked. Well, actually I take it back. I don't like it, but it was interesting.

18 game season, every player can only play a maximum of 16 games. Oh, I like that. But then I was like, I don't like it because it would wait too many excuses and it would really suck to be excited about a game and be like, fuck, now we're watching Desmond Ritter. Yeah. I like it in theory because it just it's chaos. Yeah, it's it's a rake.

A strategy would be awesome. Like 17. You can't do two games. Everyone has to sit out one week? Yeah. This sounds a lot like Little League, where everybody gets to play. And I was thinking about, the more I was thinking about it,

I was like, all right, I liked it at first, and then I thought I definitely would get fucked, because I'd bet a line on Monday, and then they'd be like, this is the game we're throwing, and I'd get fucked. Yeah, there's a lot of reasons why that probably wouldn't work out in reality, but it's, it's fun to think about. It's a fun, it's a fun idea. It's a thought experiment. It's a very good greenie rule. This is how dudes use our imagination. Yeah. We just think about wrinkles to the 18 game season puzzle. Yeah. 18 games is so good. We should get like, uh, like what was the, um, what was the movie where they were cracking the code for the Nazis or they were cracking the code of the Nazi imitation?

Game. Yeah, I mean we need that we need a we need a camp with nerds trying to figure out the perfect 18 game schedule Well, it would be very funny though to see if they did have that rule where each player could only play 16 games The dumbest coaches would think that they had it figured out and they completely screw it up. Correct. That would be like Mike McCarthy would absolutely fuck that idea up. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, he'd like, one week he'd sit his entire defense.

Next week sit his entire offense. He'd sit Dak and CD Lamb at the same time and be like, we're using this as an opportunity to see what a roster is going to look like next season. Yeah. And be like, we're using this as an opportunity to see what a roster is going to look like next season. Yeah. And then the, and then the week that they don't sit, like they stay with sit Dak and CD lamb. And then a different week, he would sit the entire offensive line. Yeah. Dak would get killed. Yeah. It was like, God damn it. Mike McCarthy. Our computer guys, our computer guys told us this is the right move. Yeah. Okay. Next up. Next up we have the Lighthouse of the Year.

Ooh. The Lighthouse of the Year. A lot of good lighthouses out there. This is a huge year, maybe the biggest year in the history of this show for lighthouses. I'd say they're having a moment. The nominees are, to the Lighthouse, the book. Oh. Nominated. It's a great book.

Is that the book? Light Read. We got him? I got him? I don't know. Did I get you a get you a book but hey, that's the meanest thing you could do. Yeah was children's book Okay, was about lighthouses. It was about lighthouses. Yeah, we read it isn't they all though? Yeah. Yeah, okay that that book is also nominated Okay, whatever that book was called Hank. You remember it. Mm-hmm. What was it called? I don't know. Okay I remember the book. I don't remember the name. You remember seeing a book. You saw a book and you ran the other direction I remember the book. I don't remember the name. Remember seeing a book. He saw a book and he ran the other direction Hank seen so many books in his life Hank Hank thinks he sees something say something is about books. Yeah

Hey, do you have any do you own any books? I do what books you own in your in your home Hank sees a backpack full of books and he calls the cops I have a Larry Byrd biography that I've been I've read like ten pages of at multiple points I'm not hey listen I've started over 40 books in the last five years not finished a single one of them, so I'm with you on that I have a book about habit that I'm also trying to read about Breaking breaking bad habits okay, but you can't I have you can't focus enough. No no no that's a Dabbing that I've read it before though It's wait, so like ten years ago. So you have read it

This is is this are you rereading the book about cuz it didn't work. Is this Sisyphus? Pushing it up. Yeah push it up Yeah Ain't trying to start a book about having good habits that would help him read a book Hank timely fashion Can is there spark notes of this book? I don't know. There's an audiobook. I've downloaded that too. And you still haven't gotten to it? No. I love that. I love that for you. So we've got two lighthouse books nominated.

We've got the Cape Hatteras Lighthouse in North Carolina. The tallest lighthouse in the United States. According to the United States Coast Guard. Respect the military and the troops. The old lighthouse at Gill United States. OK. According to the United States Coast Guard, respect the military and the troops. The old lighthouse at Gillette Stadium is nominated. It was a great lighthouse. It was awesome. Everyone loved it.

They won championships. They won Super Bowls with that lighthouse. Then the new Gillette lighthouse is also nominated. The losingest lighthouse in the history of the New England Patriots by far. Yes. Mickey Mouse cartoon lighthouse. I mean, Hank, fact or fiction, things have gone badly since the new lighthouse

came out. No, new lighthouses was last year and they had gone badly two years ago, but they haven't gotten better yet. I'd say they got worse. They fired a whole we have a new we have. I bill Belichick is no longer your coach. You lost a legendary quarterback who throws when, where, how, where... He knows where to put it. Things were all coming together with Mac Jones, the best rookie quarterback season of all time. And then you just got rid of all that and now you're shit. And now you have a quarterback that it looks like he throws a heavy ball. Yeah.

So... The winner of the 2024 Lighthouse of the Year. Yes. Is the old lighthouse. That lighthouse was awesome. Real one. It was a real one. Multiple Super Bowl dynasty, the dynasty lighthouse. So PFT, hold on one sec, Jer, stay right there. If the new lighthouse didn't win, could someone say that it's not even a lighthouse? It's not a lighthouse. It should not have been nominated.

Yeah. Because it's a fake lighthouse. Well, you also nominated a book, which isn't a lighthouse. Your new lighthouse is a giant butt plug, and it sucks, and everyone hates it. Nope. Don't win football games.

It's a great lighthouse. I have a question. Hey, do you ever think you're gonna light the lighthouse? I have a question, yeah. If you ever think you're going to light the lighthouse? I have a question. Yeah. If I was hypothetically asked to be the keeper of the lighthouse for a Thursday preseason game in August, could I do it? What does keeping a lighthouse entail? Lighting the light.

Are you just standing at the top being like, no, this is a real lighthouse? It's real to me. Yeah. Hank, I give you permission to be the keeper of the lighthouse. Against maybe the Eagles. If you read a book about a lighthouse. Yeah, full book. Okay. And you finish your habits book. Okay. Okay. Yes. All right. Good. All right. So congrats to that lighthouse. Congrats to the old lighthouse. What a wonderful lighthouse you were. We have winner here, Jersey Jerry. He's going to accept his award.

He also forgot his wallet. He's been looking forward. Jerry, we're doing the takeys right now, the 2024 takeys. You have won an award. Thank you. Which comes with a cash prize as well. Oh, there we go. Right up my alley.

You love cash. Yeah, you love cash. So would you? That's off, but we'll be all right. Would you like to know what award you won? Yeah, of course. OK, PFT okay you won the Lib of the Year award for all your work in the liberal community pro-union guy I was pro-union guy you're big mama guy not you're asking for handouts yep I'm not I'm not no no I

didn't I'm not a Lib that's number one. Well, you won the war on the year. So voted on this Many voters it was yeah, it was a true democracy Yeah, so there will be a graphic that says lib of the year Jersey Jerry Jerry's trying he's trying to rig the vote Yeah, very lib of them. Yeah Whoops, I don't want to accept the award. Okay. Well you you can't not accept it Yeah, it's been given to you. You hate meritocracy. You hate the fact that you won something Oh, I think Jerry's a participation trophy guy a true lib. He wants everyone to win the award. That's true Everyone asked to be put

For up for this award. Oh, wow. No, no one asked to be nominated also, Jerry aren't you happy like the the voting for the take ease is Secretive and some may say a coup which is exactly what you people do. I don't do any of that. OK. I don't do any of that stuff. Like, zero. I don't even want to talk about what my theories and stuff are.

But my theories are anti-lib. I don't know. It seems like the case has been laid pretty clearly. Yeah. But you look like a limp. Oh, look at Jerry. He's so happy he's won this award. He's just trying to give it to everyone else inside.

Give it to Hank. No. No, you're wearing a hat from Pittsburgh. Yeah. You love the Steelers. Yep. Unions. Where's Joe Budden from?

Delaware. I believe he's from Scranton, Pennsylvania. Yeah, he's from Pennsylvania. Oh, is he? Pennsylvania. You are on the record saying you're Joey B. Guy. Yes, but that was Burroughs. Yeah, OK.

All right, there we go. OK. That was Burroughs. Thank you, Jerry. Limit of the year. Limit of the year. Congratulations. I will, Jerry, in lieu of a cash prize,

I will be donating your cash prize to the Democratic Party. Oh, yeah. They just got $90 million. They'll be good. Yeah, you asked for that before. So like you said, your word's not mine. Mamala's going all the way. And she is.

She is. He just said she is. Yeah, yeah, he said she is. Yep. Live of the year. Jersey Jerry. All right. Where were we?

Lighthouse. He just said lighthouse. We were awarded to the old lighthouse, yeah. OK, next up, big one. Viral Woman of the Year. Ooh. Paris Hilton? Lot of viral women.

Lot of viral women this year. Herpes, Joe Kank. Yeah. She has herpes. Allegedly. Pam Anderson confirmed. Oh, hepatitis too. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. So you're B. Which one would you prefer? Yeah, you Okay, so you're big here Which one would you prefer yeah you choose big I think that's the wrong one I think she might have C Yeah, I think she has C. So now you have B. Ah Viral woman of the year we have the Chargers fan Remember her. Yeah, she was really into the Chargers charger that was crazy plant that was nuts and then just paid actor industry plant paid actress yeah the craziest that I still don't really know what happened there uh we have Hawk to a girl mmm she's burning bright that is as viral as viral gets yeah um lean to the

plug yep went viral Probably very viral. Yep. That was a crazy story. That was a moment. What was the story? Uh, Adam 22, uh, let a guy fuck his wife. Yeah, on camera, in front of him, for the podcast. And then got mad about his wife getting fucked.

Yeah. Because people made fun of him. And it, again, don't want to say that we play the game the right way, but you don't see us, any of us getting fucked on camera for views. You will never see that. No one wants to fuck us on camera. Maybe Huey.

I'd watch a video. Look at him. Yeah. I would. I don't want him to, but I would. If you put it in front of me, and you're like, check this out, Huey's laying pipe. You wouldn't look away?

I would have to look. I'd have to look. It'd be morbid curiosity. We would never stoop to the level of a podcast like No Jumper and have one person on our podcast try to get set up with another guest on our podcast. Right, exactly. That's disgusting.

And I don't think it should happen. Yeah. And then finally, the Oilers fan. Yeah. Or her viral moments. Almost getting them to a Stanley Cup. She was great. She was great. I really appreciate that moment. She was great. Okay. So we have a special guest, our good friend, Paul Bissonnette giving us the winner of viral woman of the year. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum,

bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, of the year. Bum ba da dum, ho! Pardon my take fans. Paul Bissonnette here from the Spit and Chickles podcast for a very special announcement. It is an honor to have been selected to hand out an award for the 2024 Takey Awards. And I will be presenting today the 2024 Takey Award

for most viral woman. And some of you are gonna be shocked by the winner, but I don't care. And without further ado, drum roll please. Get that spit off my face. And the winner of the 2024 Takey Award for Most Viral Woman goes to Oilers Girl Kate. Those luscious tits made so many people happy

on the internet. It propelled the Edmonton Oilers to a those luscious tits hate so many people happy on the internet It propelled the Edmonton Oilers to a long playoff run that just fell short But she still deserves a ring based on those beautiful boobies now some of you I know what you're saying Hawk to a deserve this but just you remember Oilers girl walked so Hawk to a good run and that's a wrap Okay, so congratulations. Congratulations. So the Oilers fan. Very happy for the A Cups.

She had she went on spitting chiclets. She's always girlfriend. She's always girlfriend. So incredible viral run for her. I mean, and also I appreciated it when she came out so strongly against the haters. Yes. That really made the haters. Yes. That really made me think. Yes.

OK, what do we have next? Next up, we have the Joe of the Year. Joe of the Year. A lot of great Joes this year. Big year for Joes. Huge year for Joes. First nominee is Joe Mazzulla. Coach of the Boston Celtics.

Best friend. Thanks. Stepfather to Henry Lockwood. Thanks. Best friend. He poured beer on you. Uh, Joe Biden also nominated for Jordan. Honey on him. Wait, what? You're pouring honey on Joe Biden on Joe Missoula. You poured honey on him. Goat. Wait, is that that like LeBron reference where it's like pour honey on him and then pray for the bear? Well, Braun posted that Instagram and said if like me and the bear in the same forest

pray for the bear or whatever. Yeah. And then Shannon Sharp. That's right. I'm pouring honey on you goat. Yeah. Yeah. Pouring honey on Joe. How fast would Joe Missoula kick your ass if you poured honey on it? Very fast. That would be an awesome. He was ready to kick my ass when I was putting on sunscreen. He's probably training. Joe Biden also nominated for Joe of the Year. Still alive. For being still alive. Still alive.

We think. JoJo Siwa nominated for Joe of the Year. Don't know who that is. If you have two Joes, do you have one? Who is JoJo Siwa? For, I know. She's a talker, YouTuber. Dancer.

Dancer. Love it. Love her work. Love her work in the joke and reality TV. Yeah, what'd she do this year? She did? uh, I Forget what show was called those on ABC. It was like She's on Disney Channel Disney Channel. Yeah, that's right. Oh, yeah. Yeah Disney Channel She's she's had she's had big years on like a big Jojo see what she was on a show She's like advertised during Sunday football every week. Ah That show a show that is it the one where they sorry we were watching football. Well commercial football. Yeah, I'm still thinking about football

Yeah, I'm thinking about what I just watched. Yeah Okay, Jojo Siwa nominated for the year also nominated for Joe the year Joel and bead. Oh, he is a Joe He never show he had a pretty big year. He went all the way to the conference finals. Conference semifinals. Conference quarterfinals. Conference quarterfinals. He just had a really good game in the Olympic Exhibition.

Oh, that's great. He had a great game against Germany in the Olympic Exhibition game. On a super team. Yeah. So huge year. That's probably the most important game he's ever played in.

That actually, we did the voting before that game This might change. It's kind of sways thing. Yeah, but the Joe Joe's blue upon dance moms She's a mom. No. She was the dancer like oh, that's oh she had a mom. Yeah. Yeah, she was a dancer She's a dancer with a mom They don't make those any and that's a great idea No, what what is that? It's moms. It's like the children like She was like a young child. It's a creepy show. It's a very creepy show. It's a very very creepy show

The it's about like the moms ah Okay, I would say honey boo-boo adjacent. Yes Forces world's toughest test on Fox That was the show special forces world's toughest test on Saturday night football. They were advertising for Fox. No must've been wild. Yeah, so That's fine Jojo see what big fan huge this podcast is There should be a podcast mom show. Yeah, I was thinking we should do a TV dad show. It's just my kids watching TV. A TV show about kids watching TV?

It's me turning on the TV. And then Bluey's on. Yeah. And then it's like, all right. And that was the episode. When you were talking about Bluey, I had no idea what a drug Bluey was for kids. I had a friend that came into town, their five-year-old stay with us, and the kid was jumping all over the basement, punching walls throwing stuff around just in a bad mood

I go down there. I turn on bluey. Yeah, and it's like Hypnotized it's also the greatest show ever created because it's seven minutes long so you can tell a kid. Hey You get what you get to watch three more blueys that feels like a million Yeah to a kid and they're like three more. Yeah blue is I'll never run out 20 minutes done bluey is a drug for kids for sure Yeah, so here to present lose a girl Wait, she is. Yeah That just fucking blew my mind. Yeah bingo. They're sisters also

Very funny because they did a really good job with Bluey's dad works at the airport. Okay. He's a drug sniffing dog. That's fun. And his Bluey's mom- Wait, his dad's a narc? Yeah, I guess so. Maybe bomb sniffing dog.

And then his mom is an archeologist. Bone sniffing dog. Yes. I like that. Pretty cool. That's very good. Pretty cool. They did a good job. One of them should work in the White House. Next up, we have the presenter for the Joe of the Year Award.

Our good friend, Joe Buck. Hey, I'm at Dick's Sporting Good, so it is my distinct honor to present the 2024 Takey Award to the Dick of the Year. No! He's right. I'm Joe, and it's my honor to present the 2024 Takey Award to the Joe of the year to Joe Mazzullo, the Boston Celtics head coach. Congratulations, Joe.

Incredible video. Wait, can we pause real quick? Let's take a second to admire Joe Buck's outfit. Yeah, I thought it was jean shorts at first. I don't know if it is. I'm going to choose to believe these are jean shorts. Yeah, this is this is the best dad outfit I've ever seen in my entire life. Well, this is like his St. Louis is really showing. Yeah, he's wearing jean shorts tucked in with a belt tucked in t shirt. Yeah, to jean shorts, dad hat. Yeah. He looks great. And his son hit the hit the moonwalk. We love Joe. Joe is one of our favorite recurring guests. Can't tell the history of part of my take without Joe Buck.

You can't. And he actually didn't take any, when I texted him asking for this, he didn't take any offense that he wasn't nominated for Joe of the Year. That's okay. He knows he had an off year. Yeah, he's got something to aspire for. Yeah.

Aspire two. Yeah, he did have an off year. He called zero games where someone almost died. Yep. Sad. So kind of set the bar and he wasn't able to live up to it Very sad congratulations Hank to your best friend. Did you tell him? I did tell him. Yeah, what'd he say? He hasn't responded yet. Oh Best friends. That's just best friend. Yeah. Yeah, you guys don't have to talk. No be best friend

He's probably upset that he won the award and he's gonna get complacent. That's true Did we poison the Celtics by giving him Joe of the Year? It'd be a real shame. That would be a real shame. Okay, next up, Girlfriend of the Year. Girlfriend of the Year, big time award. We have some big time nominees. First up, it is Taylor Swift, who was very prominently during the football season. Matt Smith? What?

For dating Matt Smith? Oh no, but she did do that and he was problematic. Wait, Mattie Healy? Or Mattie Healy. Yeah, come on Hank, get up on your lower. Yeah, come on. She started dating Travis Kelce this year. Some may say Travis Kel Kelsey is Taylor Swift's boyfriend

Depends on the season. I would say right now. He's boyfriend. He's boyfriend football season. She's girlfriend I mean Travis has a good case for boyfriend of the year, too. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Uh Kyle Philpowski's girlfriend. She's They've been together for a long time. No one put in more work than her. And everything played out perfectly. Yeah. Like she is the mastermind, to use a Taylor Swift lyric. She plotted this out, and now he's in Utah.

Yeah, minus the whole part of him slipping out of the first round because of people questioning their relationship. Yeah. Still don't really know how Duke was able to keep that under wraps for two years. It's very strange. Very, very strange.

Very, very strange. She also nursed him back to health though. So let's give her some credit after he had that devastating leg injury after the court storming. That's true. He came back in record time and some people thought he was dead. Yeah. And then finally, Jake Browning's girlfriend who took the league by storm in week 17 in

Joe Burrough's box. Yeah. It was, I remember where I was when I watched that. Yeah very nice lady. Okay so uh we have a guest presenter for girlfriend of the year. Is she anyone's girlfriend? Not to my knowledge. Okay. Has she ever been someone's girlfriend? Sure she has been. Okay. Yeah definitely. At some point. Would she also say that she was a girlfriend? Sure she has been. Okay. Definitely. At some point. Would she also say that she was a girlfriend? In her life? Yeah, definitely. Would she say recently she's been a girlfriend? I don't know the answer to that. Okay. But she's currently no one's girlfriend? I don't know the answer to that either. When was the last time she was someone's

girlfriend? I don't know the answer to that either. Okay. Have you ever been someone's boyfriend Hank? Have I? Yeah. And Tiffany, the mystery presenter has at one point been someone's girlfriend. Yeah. That's kind of a coincidence. That is a coincidence. It seems like that's almost wild. Like it's a key in a hole. Yeah. Okay. Like a knee in a wall. Let's go to our guest presenter for Girlfriend of the Year. Hey guys, Tiffany Gomez here to present to you your 2024 Girlfriend of the Year Takey Award. Nominees are Miss Taylor Swift, no explanation needed. Jake Browning's girlfriend, Stephanie Niles, that went viral

for her white bodysuit. And lastly, Kyle Filipowski's girlfriend, which I think we all know, and I think we all know, and I think we all know is not gonna win. Lastly, I think I'd be in the running if someone didn't fumble, but not mentioning any names. But nonetheless, our winner is Ms. Taylor Swift. Okay, what incredible.

Great work, great work Tiffany. Tiff, we love Tiff gomas gomas You should rekindle that We we kind of have it. Yeah, just oh this really yeah, how he's checked in Yeah, I mean, I don't want to I don't want to get into specifics, but you're checked in well Yeah, she can't check in he had to hit her up checked in. Well, yeah, she can't check in. He had to hit her up. She's not allowed to FAA. That's true. She wanted to go to Paris for the Olympics with you to too soon. Oh, man. Like this week, she invited you to France, the most romantic country in the world. Would

have been a great place to get down on one knee. She also DM'd him on TikTok. Oh yeah. Max does know all the DMs on TikTok. Yeah, I think it's. Yeah, somehow Max is logged into my TikTok, which I don't really use. But I just get emails whenever whenever Hank gets a DM. Oh, I love it. And I was with Big Cat and I was like, look, look, Hank just got a DM. What does the DM say? I couldn't I can't see what the DM says. I just get an email that says, Adam, you have received a direct message from TikTok by Tiffany Gomez Gomez

I think that I think the DM said want to go to Paris in a lope. Yeah. No, no marry me Yeah, yes or no false if she proposed to you You have to say yes. Yeah I don't have that in me to say no. Yeah, right. You'd figure it out later. Yeah, say yes in the moment Yeah, that would be a hell of a wedding. Yeah Could be destination that would be fun Okay, also, I think I think Jerry O'Connell would possibly be a bridesmaid no he'd have to He'd have to marry. Oh, no, because he'd get to the part where it's like speak now or forever

Hold your piece and he'd be like I I object. Yeah. I personally object. Me. I'm here. I should be Hank. OK, next up. Kiss the bride party with love. If we get involved, it would be a triple kiss. Yeah.

He'd need like a little sheet to stand behind for the kiss the bride. Sounds like a movie. Next up. Next up, we have Dom of the Year. Ooh. Dom of the Year. Great award.

This is the first year that we've ever presented this. Yeah. But we've got some good nominees here. First up is Big Dom. Oh yeah. The Fluffy Eagles. Fluffy Eagles. Remember when he got kicked out of that game that rocked?

Show your football. Oh yeah, my football's somewhere. Where's my football? Oh, I got it. Where's my football? Dom said he said, my paisans, game ball presented a big cat from Big Dom Incredible he's a best. He is the best

We were gonna actually get him to try to be a guest presenter And then we decided you know what let's not burn that relationship with something as frivolous as the take ease Not that the take ease are frivolous to Big Dom they would but we would want he's a football guy first first time Big Dom Comes on the show needs to be in person and we have to have like at least 45 minutes with him. And also a lot of chicken parm. Yep. Shitloads of Big Dom nominated. Okay. Also nominated. Dom of the Year. Yes. The Dom of the Year from last year from the viral Dave Portnoy pizza review. Yes. Yes. which was he just kept on yelling Dom of the Year, Dom of the Year. That guy, self-anointed Dom of the Year. Self-anointed. Next up, we have Max's nephew.

Yes. Named Dom. Dominic Delente. Shout out baby Dom. Shout out baby Dom. Baby Dom. I think we should, I think right now, I don't know who wins Dom of the Year,

but similar to like when Nick Saban gives a scholarship offer to like a five-year-old, I think we should give an internship offer to Dominic Talente. I'm okay with that. I love that. In 18 years' time, he has an open internship offer to Dominic Talente. You sign him up right now. Lock him up.

Yep. Big moment for baby Dom right now. That's a huge moment. Huge moment for baby Dom. Now, the problem is it's going to be Huey and Memes hosting this show. It's going to be no one listening, but he will be an intern. Yeah, we're ending Italian unemployment one baby at a time. Yes. He's got a job. Also nominated for Dom of the Year, Taylor Swift.

Yeah. Interesting. She kind of wears the pants in that really. Yeah. She's just one girlfriend of the year so could she go back to back? We'll see. We've never had a back to back. You haven't? We've never had a back to back. You had a back to back? I've never had a back to back. Yeah. What is that? If that was a number, would that be a 96? You'd be 96ing? 11? No, that's spooning. No,-to-back back-to-back spooning would be more like seven seven Yeah, something like that back to back one seven and up back to back I think back-to-back is not that the truth is I think it's 96 is back-to-back One of the scariest phrases you can say to a short man. Yes Also because I watched record for dream one time and Back to Back has a different meaning there. Yeah. Okay.

So the Dom of the Year award goes to Big Dom. Yes! Big Dom. Big Dom! Huge work in the field of Dom-ness. You crushed it, man. You crushed it. The Eagles couldn't win without you. Yeah. Took the world by storm. The season fell apart.

The minute Big Dom got off that sideline. And got a massive promotion. Yep. He's now director of what? All football? I think he just is the Philadelphia Eagles. Yeah. He's the whole, the build the whole team out of Big Dom.

Yep. Yeah. Could win a lot of games. What is he, Max? What's his actual, he just, Max just searched Big Dom promotion. You'd think you'd have this in charge of game day coaching. He's coaching. Eagles add game day coaching operation title to Dom DeSandro's growing responsibilities. I think they did this as a, so he can't get kicked out

anymore. They should also make him director of sanitation. Yes. Yes. Uh, okay. Big Dom upgrade Eagles security chief Dom DeSandro receives promotion to make it harder for NFL. Discipline them after I love that after 2023 ban. They basically are protecting Dom. That's really solid. Yeah. Yeah. You should, I mean, players should be promoted to some sort of coaching title to make it harder for discipline. I feel like Goodell is going to do whatever the equivalent of a Rico act will be for the Eagles. Yeah, don't say nothing. He's trying to take down the whole operation.

Okay, next up, Italian of the Year. Big year for Italians. Big big year. We had one of the Italians that took the world by storm. Tommy DeVito is nominated. Tommy. He had a couple of really good games. It was so much fun. That Monday night game, the world was going crazy. Everyone was doing

the fingers. Yep. And his family. It was the perfect time and place. We knew that it probably wasn't going to last forever, but when it was happening, we were just embracing it. We also have Big Dom. Big Dom nominated. Huge, huge work. Can we do the back-to-back? First time ever. Also nominated Caitlin Clark. People don't realize she's Italian. Half Italian. She's half Italian. Play for Italy. Italian. A great Italian American who is growing the game of women's basketball.

And finally we have Sean Stilotto, Tommy DeVito's agent who is a recurring guest. And he couldn't be more Italian if he tried. He's already a Hall of Famer. Yeah, Italian Hall of Fame. You see, he met the Pope. He did meet the Pope. That was the most Italian thing ever. Yeah.

That was probably a big, big day. But yeah, he came in when he was being inducted into the Italian Sports Hall of Fame that is located in Chicago So congrats to Sean we have a special guest who is presenting this award we do it is Italian She is oh, it's Diana Rossini also great reporter great reporter Quarrel very thorough very accurate memes was just booed in the oh Meem's like he's our guest presenter means guess what she just got another source Wow memes you booed our presenter Damn Okay, let's play the video. Oh

Hi, I'm Italian reporter Diana Marie Rossini here to present the Italian of the Year. Whether you're 100% Italian like me, or you just like to be like Giada and sprinkling your Italian words like, carama, mozzarella, caboglu. Or if you're like PFT and you're 1% Sicilian or perhaps you're offspring like Big Cat has a little meatball in them. It doesn't matter, everybody knows all Italians love three things. We love to eat, we love to Everybody knows all Italians love three things. We love to eat, we love to love, and we love to fight, which is why this year, the Italian of the year goes to Big Dom with a Philadelphia Eagles. We still have no idea what your job

is. I like that she added the Marie. Really, Diana Marie Rossini. How many vowels can you end in names? It's important I Also like she she was stirring up pasta, but it was pasta salad. Yeah as it looked good. Yeah dead. Yeah Congratulations Dom is one the first ever back-to-back take ease. That's very impressive for Dom big Dom. He came on to the scene I actually think this is a bad job. Big Dom coming on the scene at NFL this year showed what a bad job we did as NFL fans. Correct. And NFL podcasters. The fact that we did not already know about Big Dom was

a massive blind spot in this show. Yes. So we do apologize for that. I also blame Matt for not bringing Big Dom. Yeah, you should have told us. You should have told us. What part of Big Dom's life made you think that we would not want to be interested in him? The second we laid eyes on him, we're like, we love this guy to death. I don't know, it never came up. Yeah.

What else are you hiding from us, Max? Seriously. Don't worry about it. Okay. There's definitely another Italian who works in the Phillies or something. You got a guy. We gotta fuckin' know this guy.

Okay, next award. Actually, let's do a quick ad. The Takeys are presented by Coors Light, our favorite beer in the world. The perfect summer playlist may be elusive, but one thing is for sure, it gets better when it's enjoyed with a cold Coors Light. Because music plus Coors Light equals chill amplified.

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go crack open a nice cold Coors Light. You know what? If you're listening to the Takeys, go get a Coors Light right now. It will help chill you out for the rest of the Takeys. We've got a lot of awards still coming up. So thank you to course light. Okay, next up next up we have a very important award. It's the why didn't they put a guy on that shooter award. Oh, and we've got some great nominees. Okay, first up Dante defenz, Enzo. He was electric at the end of that game against the 76ers. Also very Italian. Yes, extremely. I mean, you got the triple threat. You got the Italian guy, you got the Villanova guy, and you got the New York Knicks guy just taking Max out. Yes. It was a bad day for Max. We also have Peyton Pritchard nominated for his Outstanding Performance in the last second of quarters. Just put a guy on him. Why didn't you put a guy on that shooter? Next up we have Trump's assassin. Should have put a guy on him.

Yep. Definitely should have put a guy on him. Should have put a guy on him. I think they saw him on the roof. A guy should have been there. Sloped roof. Where were the guys? Should have put a guy on him. Is he an assassin or do you? Attempted assassin. Would be assassin. Would be assassin. I think you can't give him that title. Yeah. Shooter. Yeah, no, he doesn't get assassin. Think you can't give him that title. Yeah. Shooter. Yeah, no, he doesn't get, yeah, he doesn't get assassin.

Yeah, just ass. Yeah. And also nominated is Zach Golke. Jack Golke. Sorry, Jack Golke. That's OK. Jack Golke. Jack Golke nominated.

You got it. I got it. Put a guy on that guy, Cal. Big time put a guy on that guy. Cal should have put a guy on Jack. He didn't know that Jack Golke is wetter than wet. And the winner of the Why Didn't They Put a Man on That Shooter Award is Jack Goulke. Yes!

Jack Goulke. Congrats, Jack. Great work. They should have put a guy on you, though. Goulke was, I mean, he was made in a lab for March Madness. Get a hand in his face. Just the perfect, I really do think that the NCAA, like, for all the hand-wringing of, like, the game

is changing so much, make a Jack Goukis rule that basically we just get to vote on, like, five guys every March Madness that no matter their eligibility, they get to stay another year. It'd be nice. Because Jack Goukis this year

would be such a fun story to watch. Just turn on a random Oakland game and be like, oh Because Jack Goukki this year would be such a fun story to watch. Just turn on a random Oakland game and be like, oh Jack Goukki's going off again. The thing is, Jack Goukki could beat anybody on the right night. Yes, he can. He showed that. Yep. He showed that. Okay, next award up. This is a doozy, boys. Because we might have a back to back winner. Another one? No, not back to back, but back to back years. Ah, nice. It is, it is the still alive person of the year Tommy Lasorda Memorial? Tommy Lasorda John Madden Memorial.

I think Queen Elizabeth too. No, fuck her. Yeah. Bill Russell. Liz, fuck her. Yeah. Lizzy's in a box. In a box, in a box. Lizzy's in a box, in a box, in a box. We have given this award every single year, I think, most years, the Takeys.

And a lot of times, a person dies that year. Yeah, who was the first one? I don't remember. Who did we actually go see death about? Lasorda. Lasorda, Lasorda. Yes, it might have been Lasorda. So it might be the Tommy Lasorda Award.

Either way, the still alive person of the year, this is a person you can't believe is still alive. The nominees are Joe Biden. Possibly. Still alive. Still alive. Still alive. By the time this airs. He's like a...

We are taping this a week before we air it. He's like step alive. Okay. Or like a... He's like a divorced dad. He's alive every other weekend. And we don't want to jinx this, by the way. We don't want any of these people to die.

We don't want this to become a jinx thing. Joe Biden's still alive. Donald Trump's still alive. Yup. By inches. By inches. Nancy Pelosi's still alive. Physically.

Physically still alive. Cannons. What? I don't get it. I mean, Hank, you canons. Yeah, I wasn't familiar with their game. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I got a second. Well, it's kids. Uh, Mitch McConnell still alive as long as they keep plugging back in. Turkey, Turkey, Turkey, Gobbler, Gobbler, Turtle, Turtle. Yeah. And Jimmy Carter, who won it last year. Now, this would be an amazing run in Still Alive for Jimmy

Carter, because I believe he's been in hospice for like two years. We talked about it when it happened, but his grandson said that there are some days he just doesn't wake up, which is a telltale sign of being dead. That's true. Not waking up is dead.

Or you could be hibernating. Yeah. So some days he just doesn't wake up. But without further ado, the still alive person of the year for 2024 is Jimmy Carter. Again, back to back me championship for Jimmy Carter. He's outlasted the still alive person of the year. He won it last year. He stayed alive for the entire year. Again, we are taping this seven days before we air it. Who knows? But he's still alive. Memes just sent the picture of Nancy Pelosi in the group chat.

Cannons, right? Respect. Yeah, respect. It's respectful cannons. It's respectful cannons. Yeah. Hey, come on. Yeah, no. Guy like you? Guy like you with those glasses on looking right. She looking right Okay, so Jimmy Carter wins still live person of the year Unbelievable, I think he can do a three-peat. I

If anybody can do it, it's Jimmy it would be unprecedented. I don't think anyone would be able to top it I don't even know if anyone will top a two-pep has anybody ever ever been not dead for three years. Oh I don't think so. I don't think so Again, he is half dead. Listen Jimmy set up right now. He really is. Okay next up next up We have Scout of the Year. Ooh the Scout of the Year award. Okay, the nominees are Tony Scheffler's cat Yes, scouting scouting great barn cat. Yes. Scouty. Scouty. Great barn cat. Yep. Productive. Kills all those birds. All the anonymous scout quotes. Yes. That come out before the draft every year. They're always fun to read. Yeah. They were heavy on my guy,

Caleb Williams this year. Yeah. Does he love football? Who's to say? We don't know. And then Connor Stallions. Connor Stallions. One of the craziest stories, like, we don't know and then Connor Stallions Connor stall here one of the craziest stories Like we don't give it enough credit how crazy that story. I know there's a Netflix documentary coming out I can't wait for that. I cannot wait for that and I actually think the person we have presenting is part of it Oh, he's gonna be in it. He's gonna be in it. Okay. I can I just watch a single Documentary about sports on TV without Dave Portnoy showing up? He is in it, and he is presenting this award. I now I text him to ask him for this. I've not watched it, so we're watching it all together.

And I'm guessing he might be ad-libbing a little bit about Michigan. Let's see. OK, here he is, our presenter for Scout of the Year. Hey, this is Captain Dave, proudly here to present the 2024 Takey for Scout of the Year, a Scout, an important, honest, upstanding member of any organization whose job in the military, in the Navy, on the football field, Scout the opponent, give any clues, anything

you can give to help your team succeed. Nobody exemplified the American spirit, the Marine spirit, the football spirit, the Michigan man spirit, more than Connor Stallions, proud to award him the 2024 Scout of the Year National Champs, go blue. Yeah, all right, congrats. Dave looks like a old sailor now.

Yeah, I don't know what's going on with his hair. He's got the beard. His beard. The sunburn. The hat. What's that? There's a logo. What is the logo? Gordon Fisherman.

Is that it? He looks a little bit like the Gordon Fisherman. Yeah. He does. All due respect. But Connor Stallion. Connor Stallion, great human being. Incredible, incredible story.

He is Scout of the Year. Incredible story, like you said that it was an inspiring. He is scout of the year. Incredible story like in spot like you said that like it was an inspiring. It is. It's a very inspiring story. When he was growing up, all he wanted to do was help Michigan football win a national championship and he set a plan into place where he joined the United States Marines, learned recon tactics and then took that, wrote a fucking manifesto, joined his way onto the Michigan football program first as like an unpaid assistant, just like a volunteer,

worked his way up and to the point where he was providing actual information about their opponents based on him sneaking into games and shit with tactics he learned in the Marines. Yeah, all right, yeah, yeah. And they won a national championship. Also, it's just a great story. It's as simple won a national championship. It's a great story. It's as simple as this, Hank.

He wrote a manifesto and didn't kill anyone. That's hard to do. People write manifestos. They kill people. Manifesto is a bad thing. Conor Stallions wrote a manifesto, and all his dreams came true. Yeah, we should be thanking our lucky stars

that he is obsessed with college football and not some weird corner of the internet that we don't even know about yet. Didn't we get a story? Oh yes, now this is flashing back at beer games. Couple guys who were on the Michigan team said after they won the national title, which was, where was it played?

Was it LA? Houston. No, Houston. They went out after. They were out at a bar, maybe a strip club, I'm gonna say bar, and in were out at a bar, maybe a strip club, I'm going to say bar, and in the corner of that bar, maybe strip club, Connor Stallions was just sitting there and he kind of did like a good job and gave him like a hat tip and was like, job well

done. I love that. And they're like, how the fuck was he here? So he's everywhere. Everywhere, yeah. Yeah, Huey, as a Michigan man, what are your thoughts on Conor Stallion? He's a great man. I mean, just a hero to the community. I mean, I let him watch my kids if I had one. Okay. That's a really good choice. That's huge. Would you watch your kids if you had one? I'd probably give it to him. Okay. Yeah. All right. So

there it is. So not only did he just win a takey, he won Huey's future child. Yeah, any good Michigan man should just volunteer their firstborn to counter stallions. Yes. It really is maybe my favorite college football story ever. It was incredible. It was incredible. OK, great award.

Next up, we have Gambler of the Year. Wow. Big one. Big one. A lot of good gamblers this year. So the nominees are Jontay Porter, for getting suspended from the NBA lifetime suspension. Yeah. For betting his own props and taking himself out of games.

Yeah. He hit all his bets, right? Yeah, I think so. So he was a pretty good gambler. Yeah, he was a good gambler. He was a... Yeah. He had a system. He almost went tout. Pro athletes just shouldn't be on Discord. Like, leave was a good gambler. He's a yeah, he had a system. He almost went out pro athletes. You shouldn't be on discord like that. Leave it. Leave. Leave the discord for the nerds. Yeah. Also, what was he doing on discord? He was in a gambling group and

that's like, I think that's how it happened. They kind of like they had the receipts. Yeah. And they were probably the ones telling them like, yo, yo, come out of the, we got a way to make some money. Also just don't get more than four rebounds right crazy for him to like I Feel like if you're a Starter in the NBA and you did this it'd be very hard to prove when you're John T. Porter It's very easy to prove because he played such little minutes and no one bets his props and no is really where I was right Right, and then it's a hundred thousand000 on his prop in a random February game, and he's coming out with a fake shoulder injury.

Yeah, every other player that is getting the minutes that he was getting would not take themselves out of the game for anything. Correct. It's like, I need every minute. Correct. Give me every minute that I'm promised. And he was just like, no, my eye hurts.

Yeah. Ow, my eye. Great excuse, by the way. Yeah. Great excuse. Shohei Otani, Gambler of the Year, a legend. Mm- way. Yeah great excuse show. Hey, Otani Gambler of the year alleged. Mm-hmm great work. Yes show his interpreter also up for gambler of the year not alleged yeah, the forensic accountants came back and they said that the Ipe right Ipe Ipe it was all Ipe show had no idea whatsoever

But I hope that At least on the winnings, on the bets that he did win, maybe EPA broke him off a little something. Yeah, just cut him off a little something. Dave Portnoy is actually nominated for Gamble of the Year, because he had his stretch where he won

pretty much every single bet. Michigan, UConn, who else? Celtic, Scotty Schell. He won over a million dollars four times. Yeah, all huge underdogs. Insane, yeah. Who else? You want over a million dollars four times. Yeah. All huge underdogs. Insane.

Yeah. I didn't have that conversation with him that it was like this is the year of the chalk and you became the hottest gambler. But that's, you know. Results are results. Results are all. You don't, you never give back a winner. You never do.

Doesn't matter. Yeah. Because when you lose, people let you know about it. Correct. So you have to let them know when you get one right. And you're still going to put the money up and he had the oilers Into the that wasn't a chalk that he had them into game seven. Yeah We have all the Lions if you remember

It was basically the entire Lions secondary Jameson Williams They had to cut a couple guys now. I still think they got screwed because all they did was they didn't bet on the NFL. They just logged onto their gambling account while at the Lions facility. You gotta have an IT guy who's better than that. Yeah, so the IT, it's supposed to be like Geofence, right? Yeah. Like if you're an IT guy,

you block those websites, those apps. Or you just pretend it never happened. On company property. Yeah. Well, I don't know. I think it was... The NFL has it. It was the NFL that had it. happened on company property. Yeah. Well, I don't know. I think it was the NFL has it's the NFL Yeah, had it so all the Lions. Okay. So who do we have to present this award? So to present this award we have our legend our living legend Stu finer. Yes

the winner of the 2024 TC award the best gambler is show hey The best gambler is Shohei Otani and his interpreter, Opepe. Wow. The shit! Fucking ass Licklin, I fucking love you from Snoop Miner. Ready to roll, ready to roll, ready to roll. Okay, first of all, congratulations to Shohei and his interpreter, double award. What happened in that video?

Why is he next to the loudest highway ever? And it looks like he's in the snow. How did he know to record this? It's rocks. I thought it was snow too at first though, but I think it's just rocks. So I think what it is is I think his son- He records a video every day. I know, and that was like muffled.

I think his son is opening a restaurant, so he's like like oh, I might as well get promotion of this highway video. Yeah, and a restaurant. That's not open I don't know. I don't know. I I love stew. I love the name of the rest Oh, no, it's actually open it is oh, I don't think that's the name of the restaurant. It isn't it's like cork and some No, I think I think his son is working in marketing for this restaurant. Got it That's what I think it was but he was like gotta go over next to a highway And so this is I was hoping for the pool for being on I know I really was too God damn it. It's okay. The pool would have been great or fireworks Fireworks would have been great as well the mulch if you did on mulch day

Yeah, the fireworks video was all time. Can you just pull it up? We just play it for the people who are watching this. It's all time. It's also like the biggest firework ever. I don't really understand. Stu Finer doesn't feel like someone who should be. Yeah there it is. 28 days when I blow my load tonight, this is what it's gonna look like! In 28 days. Look at that back battle. Yeah, the back battle. Great balance.

28 days without... Exploded! That's just a bomb. I don't think that's fireworks. I think Stu just built a bomb. Yeah, Stu also just being back in our lives come football season It's just such a it's great. I just need him back in my life Okay, next up PFT actually why don't you do an ad and then we'll do the next award next up

We have an award coming right after this ad as big cat said and this show is brought to you by Shady Rays I'm rocking my Shady Rays right now Shady Rays are the official sunglasses sponsor of Pardon My Take. Get ready for the season with the official sunglasses brand of Barstool Sports at Shady Rays. Our friends have you covered with their newest, boldest, premium polarized shades. They're kicking off the most anticipated release of 2024 with a limited edition debut of their Rival collection. So the Rival is the single-lens style. It's aggressive. It's Barstool blue. It's got a premium stool and stars lens etch. And if you're looking for something more casual, the classics are also getting the Barstool

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Head to ShadyRays.com. Use code PMT for 35% off polarized sunglasses. Try for yourself the shades that are rated five stars by over 300,000 people. Okay. PFT, what do we have next? We carry on in the show. Yes. With an award for the startup of the year. Startup of the year. A lot of good startups this year. Vanny Woodhead 2.0. Yes. I actually had that thought last night. Yeah, because when we got Vanny and we were like, what are we going to do with it? And you're like, don't worry. I'm going to get on it.

It's been a while. Are you on it? No, but I'm ready to get on it. Oh, OK. Ready to hop on it? You do some push ups. After Grit Week. You're ready to get on it.

So what was the thought that you had last night? That he's ready to get on it. Vanny Woodhead's in the fucking garage shit. Oh, that was your thought? I need to get on it. And you were the one who, you made the biggest mistake because when Vanny showed up, you took ownership. Did I? Yeah, you did. You said we're going to do so many ad deals. We're going to do this. We're going to do that. And I said, great, whatever you want to do, I'm in. Sounds like you, you got a plan and you're like, yeah, I got a plan

Okay, I I will have a plan and I'm gonna 2025 that thing will be on the road driving souped up at some point 2025 Next by next spring summer spring summer summer are you talking Jaloon when we do? the 2025 take ease Will we be able to do some of it from Vanny woodhead? Yes I'm going to go with the song and Jaloon when we do the 2025 take ease. Will we be able to do some of it from Vanny Woodhead? Yes, I mean we could

do some right now. I should have phrased it differently. Some of it from Vanny Woodhead on the highway. Yes. Okay. This is just Hank's preemptive take of the year. Yeah. It's going to be a ready to go. You don't believe in me, Max? No. I believe in more in this than your dunking,

for sure. I'll give him that. I think that's a very fair thing to say. Yeah, I think you can switch out parts on the car. It's way more likely that this gets done than the dunk. Yeah, for sure. But the fact that you're saying 2025 doesn't give me a lot of confidence. Well, no, I have to. We have to get it fixed. No, it's like where I have to find something we wait Who's the who owns it? No one? Literally doesn't well that part. I'm not you you got to do the oh no. No what no wait. What did administer it? I don't absolutely not You are you you were the one that got it back here. I know I didn't No I didn't. I had nothing to do with it getting back here.

Zero. The last I had to do with Benny Woodhead was I was paying like hundreds of dollars in insurance and I gave it to Billy. I said get it off my insurance and get it off the road and go to a chop shop. And he said done. And then it came back to life because he just never did that chocker and then everything from that moment I have not I've not had anything to do with where have I had anything to do with it why did it just spawn here are you have no idea so much I'm not I just I took responsibility I had any fact fiction fact ish I had said

my goodbyes fact ish okay well but I'm I'm ready to now fully take full responsibility going forward. This is like in my 2025, it will be on the road driving memes you got to get but you guys are gonna have to do stuff in it. You got to get the Adam Silver meme going. It's it's to hubie. Get get ready to learn how titles work buddy. Because you're 100% just throwing this at him. I'm going to get it fixed first, but. OK. You're going to get it fixed before you get it

actually registered? I don't know. That's administrative. I'm not the most administrative guy. I can figure out getting it fixed, getting it sold, and getting it like. I'm pretty confident that Hube is going to be pretty good at the administrative stuff.

Yeah, me too. Yeah. Me too. Me too. He's going to be really good. Yeah. He's going to be pretty good at the end of the uh... yeah we can be really good at the running all over the city it doesn't say here's my kids return to the public will be it doesn't sound like he's excited about any would have anymore but i am though i am i just kind of forgot about it

to last night yeah i had like uh... there's a car in there. Yeah, but The potential is still there. Yeah, that's all that matters. Yeah start up the year. I guess that's for next year then Yeah, that would be the start up for 2025. Yeah, it's not an overnight thing room wasn't built in the day or months Yeah, we got five months How long did it take to build Rome? I don't know. No one really says.

I don't know. I don't really think about the Roman Empire. Yeah. But yeah, Hank, listen, you've had months already and but you meet what concerns me is you immediately punted to 2025. Yeah, so spring summer ish. I don't know how many construction products you guys have been a part of but it's not like something That's just you you have seen that van you gave yourself a year

Deadline six months. No, you said spring summer ish That could be August June 9th was the arrival of any woodhead. Okay. All right, so by June 9th 2025 Okay, so it's anniversary. That's fair. Got it. Uh, startup of the year nominee Booper a social media app for dogs. Oh, we're dogs can connect and become friends with each other on there. Great idea I like that and not to be confused with blooper that fat fuck and then the final startup of the year Nominee is Darren Revelle's new business clit. Oh Clit it's the collectibles licensing that brand. And it's Clit. It's called Clit. On the stock market it's Clit. Yeah, the logo when you look at it, it's Clit.

Clit. It's Clit. So Darren Revelle's Clit is nominated for Startup of the Year as well. Okay. And the winner is... Yeah. Darren Revelle's Clit. Yeah! Congratulations Darren Revelle. Darren Revelle doesn't... He finally won a take want to take he I do I do love that He doesn't think about sex so much that he like didn't even think for a second. It looked like click cuz it does Yeah, it looks exactly like it's the the name is click. The logo is click Yeah, and it never even dawned on or vell's never seen one. No Okay, congrats Darren. I think that might be his first day. He's probably want to take you before ya Next up is a big one

plane passenger of the year We had a big year in plane Traveling riding plane riding. So the nominees are our own Max Delante for His two sodas burrito burrito techno music farts honestly the techno music is maybe that one of the more wild wrinkles that whole story is just hungover as hell just blasting I was just I think you can't move like you know you can't like he's having like I was just vibing I mean I'm a mental party on a plane

while you're hungover I kind of want like I kind of want now She's got a mind your own business Just worry about yourself. I kind of want now to like have we should have max create like a techno Album and habits yeah have a call call it like burrito Techno two sodas and farts. Finance, six eyes, two eyes. You could do it, Max. All right, so Max is nominated.

DJs, hit me up. Our good friend, not girlfriend of Hank, Tiffany Gomez. Yeah, congratulations Tiffany. She was an incredible plane passenger this year. And she's been a great plane passenger since then yes I mean everyone talks about the time she got kicked off. No one talks about all the successful flights Yeah, what the fuck since that happened? Yeah all the all the times that it hasn't gone that poorly and then finally the guy pissing With the weirdest grip ever

He was told that he couldn't use the bathroom Upon takeoff and he just started pissing in the middle of the aisle That guy rocks. Can I uh, can I say something controversial? Yeah, I Understand where he's coming. Oh, that's not controversial at all. Okay. Okay good. I the only I don't I understand there have been times in the past year where We're in the plane. The plane is yet to reach its cruising altitude Seatbelt lights on and I got to go really bad like really really bad We're in the plane. The plane is yet to reach its cruising altitude. Seatbelt lights on and I got to go really bad.

Like really, really bad. Emergency level. And I've been told, no, go back to your seat. I did not pull my penis out and pee onto the aisle of the plane, but I'd be lying if the thought didn't occur to me to do that. Did you get up and then get told to sit down? Because I feel like I have really had to go especially he was in the first row

You can basically just look the other way from the flight attendant and just get in the bathroom So when you come out you're in trouble, but you're yeah, it's like it's worst-case scenario like that's only in an emergency situation, but You kind of have to like if you really worst-case Emergency like you could you could make it out there was a flight without having to like you know I know that was on this flight with me I don't know if big cat or max were but I remember making eye contact with Hank on this flight and we got delayed on the tarmac for like 30 minutes I got up after like 20 because I'm like I got to take a piss so I get up and I get told no they're like go sit back down we turn the seatbelt light on

we're about to take off and so I'm okay, I guess I'll just listen to you. I turn around, go back to the seat, wait there, another like 20 minutes passes. Yep. And I get up again and the flight attendants like, please stop. And I was like, it's an emergency. I gotta go. And so I just walked past her, went to the bathroom, peed, came out. Then 10 minutes later we took off. But she was trying to, she was holding my piss hostage at that point. That should be included on the passenger's bill of rights. If you got to go, you got to go. Agreed. Yeah. The only thing, the only mistake this gentleman made was I would just piss my pants and not gotten the felony. Yeah, the pissing your pants, registering

as a sex offender probably. Yeah, not good. Not worth it. Not good. So to present Plane Passenger of the Year, uh, we have our good friend Jerry O'Connell. Hello, I'm Jerry O'Connell, actor, TV presenter, and AWL. I am here today to name the winner of the 2024 Takey for Passenger of the Year. passenger of the year. Without further ado, the winner is... Wow. Tiffany Gomez.

To accept the award for Tiffany is me, Jerry O'Connell, actor, TV presenter, and AWL. Tiffany gave me a message to convey to the world, but I would personally like to take a moment and convey a message of my own to you, Tiffany Gomez. Tiffany, to fully comprehend the impact you've made, we need to start around 3500 BC with the invention of the wheel. Around 2000 BC, humans began using horses for travel.

1783 AD, the hot air balloon. Around 1800, the first steam locomotives, automobiles later in the 1800s, and in 1903, the Wright brothers made their first controlled flight. There was some space travel after that that we'll skip past because we need to get to that That fateful day of July 2nd, 2023, the day passenger transport changed forever. On July 2nd, Tiffany boarded flight 1009 from Dallas, Fort Worth to Orlando when a family member stole Tiffany's AirPods and Tiffany told us that motherfucker was not real. There was a reason Tiffany was getting the fuck off and they can believe it or they cannot believe it.

Tiffany doesn't give two fucks, but Tiffany was telling us right then that that motherfucker, that motherfucker back there was not real. We thank you, Tiffany. We thank you for warning everyone. I mean, yeah, everyone did have to de-plane and go through security again.

The flight was delayed like three hours. We could have had two sodas in that time, but we want you to have this takey for Passenger of the Year. Finally, I'd like to speak to Hank. Hanky, you blew it. You could have been with Tiffany, the 2024 takey winner, but you blew it. Bing-bong. Huey's WNBA takes are better than your whale takes.

Bing-bong. You eat scrambled eggs like a takes are better than your whale takes. Bing bong. You eat scrambled eggs like a child. You call them scrambies. Bing bong. Your boat driving sucks. Take another class, Hanky. You can't do multiplication tables. Pay your taxes, Hanky.

Bing bong. Stop talking about the duck boat. No one cares. Summer of Hank is almost over. Give Tiffany her AirPods back.ing bong your short game socks That's it guys Sorry guys, it's where a podcast it's a joke it makes no sense Joc the legend he's on grass to Tiffany Gomez Well deserved well earned he was so so excited to present that award to her. Yes, no one better than him and Tiffany Gomez.

Hank. Yes. Actually, I have no more questions about Tiffany Gomez. Would you like to accept it on her behalf? Yes. And then, but knowing that if you accept it on her behalf, you have to at some point give it to her. Yes, I'll accept it on her behalf.

I love that, I love that, I love that. I'm honored as her representative. Nice. And you can't wait to give it to her and I Can't wait to present this award to her. Yes again, I Can't wait to present this award to okay Next up we have the partnership of the year. Oh big year for partnerships this year The nominees are

Uh, the nominees are... Go on. Uh, the Live PGA Partnership. Yes. We're taking steps. We're mending fences. We're coming up with agreements. There was a demand letter, I think. There was an outline that was put into place and agreed upon.

But they are partnered. They are partnered, and they're getting closer to a true partnership. Okay. Uh, also nominated for partnership of the year, Hank and Tiffany Gomez. Oh, nice. They've been nominated. Also nominated for partnership of the year, Hank and Max

in Mount Rushmore season. Oh, a contentious Mount Rushmore season that did not go well. It's a good partnership. It was also great. The highlight was when Max went on vacation and blew it for our whole team. No, when Hank blamed Max for sucking and then Hank went on vacation and Max brought him all the way back. Well, he went on vacation

and then I won like three in a row and then I went on vacation and we lost everyone. But in Hank's defense, he was hung over that one time we had to do a Mount Rushmore at 8 p.m. on a Sunday. That was your fault. That was your fault. Which is a weekend. It's a weekend. I think that's where the debate started. It did, yeah. Also nominated. We did like three mail rush, whatever. Oh no, oh God. Let's relitigate.

You had to clock in and put a hard work, hard days working at the podcasting factory. That was also, Hank last summer, he was summer Hank last summer. It was great. Last summer was amazing. Yeah. Because you had that month where I hadn't moved. No was here, and we just did the podcast and that was it Yeah, just ripped it up also nominated for partnership of the year. We have Hank and Joe Missoula Oh good partner rubbing honey on each other not on speaking terms right now. No, it's okay

It doesn't say red. I know I Just delivered okay Also nominated for partnership of the year. We have Hank and golf ah Good partnership one of the best partnerships one loves the other a little bit more though. Yeah, like it's one-sided There's a promising future. I think there's you know buy-in now as long as you don't golf on camera I'll get out though. I'm really on camera. I do I'm do yeah I'm happy to have bad from out there because then when I'm due. It's really the on camera that you're bad at. I'm due. I'm due.

Yeah. I'm happy to have bad film out there because then when I get good it's going to be that much sweeter. Okay. Also nominated for partnership of the year Hank and Gravity. Keeping him down. That one's kind of dragging you down. That one you can sell.

Yeah. Yeah. Sell that one. Okay. And the winner of partnership of the year goes to the live PGA tour. Oh, congratulations. The live PGA tour. Yeah.

And PFT explained to me what their partnership is now? Their partnership is that they have an outline that they've agreed to and an arrangement and a skeleton clause that they put in. And it seems like things are progressing. Wow. They're basically the same organization right now yeah what do you think would be like more nerve-racking to sit next to on a plane the founders of the live tour or Tiffany mmm all-time bad passengers live live probably yeah not all time one time

well it was a pretty big day in American history, Hank. No. Come on, Hank. I was talking about Tiff. Oh, man. Oh, you're talking about Tiff. Oh, OK. All right. All right.

OK, congrats to Liv and PJ. Next up, we have a very special award. It is Ratio of the Year, one of our favorite awards to give out every single year. I will read the tweets and also tell you what the quote tweets are. For Ratio of the year. The nominees are Jonathan Ross, who said, prediction, AI will displace social drinking within five years, just as alcohol is a social disinhibitor, like the Steve Martin movie Roxanne.

People use AI powered earbuds to help them socialize. At first we'll view it as creepy, but it will quickly become superior to alcohol. So five years, no more beer. We're just going to be robots. We're just going to wear ear pods. Yeah, that sounds awful. 2.6 thousand quote tweets. This guy sounds like he just smashes the AI button for every product. Every problem that he has. Yeah. 7.7 million

views on that one. That one was quite something. This one is just funny because it was a woman said the flex I like to see and it was a kid holding a sign that said I read a thousand books, thousand books club before kindergarten. So it's a five year old. Yeah is that I don't know I'm not an expert on kids do they typically read before kindergarten? No they don't know how to read before kindergarten but the ratio is so this person tweeted it they had 67 million views 5,000 quote tweets on it and the best quote tweet was someone said, no footage, just a piece of paper, he a fraud like Wilt. Talking about Wilt Chamberlain.

I love that. A great, great, great reply. Next up, we have the quote tweet of our coworkers winning a championship, the Boston Celtics fans in the office, who had for the 18th time the Boston Celtics are NBA champions as everyone just shakes hands like they're coming off of the 18th hole. I could have been there before. 22 million views, 3.2 thousand quote tweets, and one of the best best one is perfect example of why spoiled franchises

across all sports don't deserve to win have celebrated first downs harder than this. Yeah there were a lot of people saying like I've celebrated a touchdown for my backup running back in the fantasy league harder than this. Yeah. It does infuriate me looking at how much success Boston sports has had where this is how they celebrated a championship. Yeah. So that was quite something. This one is anonymous. It has 9.6 thousand quote tweets,

38 million views. It says, if Taylor Swift is going to be taking over our Sundays, I'm going to need to see a sex tape. These are my demands at Pardon My Take. Okay. I don't recognize who that is in the video. Who is this guy? Yeah, I don't recognize it. He looks like a care. Who's that guy? Right. It's me for not deleting it. You gotta leave it up. Got to leave it up because if you take it down, then then the terrorists will have

won. Yeah, exactly. 38 million views. Last one. This one is from the storyteller. She said Keanu Reeves would totally shit himself if anyone actually tried to kill him, let alone thousands of evil hitmen. He's just a makeup wearing salesman and what he's selling are lies. Violence isn't sexy. Death isn't easy and karma won't get you. Keanu, try selling truth. Try selling truth.

Stop acting. Yeah. 16,000 quote tweets. That's pretty good. Hank, that kind of blew your mind. 1600. Sorry. Did you not realize that Keanu Reeves was an actor? No, I mean, that just, I can't believe that someone would come to that conclusion, or that's how they would feel after watching John Wick.

Yeah. Yeah, sometimes- This isn't real. Yeah. It's a good reminder, just some people need to turn their brains off sometimes. Yes, that would be true. The Colonel taught me that. It's a movie.

It is a movie. Yeah, in fact. Ah, Tommy. That's a movie It is a movie fact. Ah Actually movies the ratio of the year You know, we were gonna give it to the Celtics fans where I'm looking at these numbers Do I have to take it? I had ten thousand quote tweets. That's a lot of quotes tweets Okay, I for for the record big cat Do you want to see a sex tape? No Would you watch a sex tape?

Yes. I think if a sex tape was put in front of you, honestly, if you took any male and any female and had a sex tape and you said, here are these people having sex and just showed it to me, I would look regardless of who it was. Yeah. If it was in front of me. Yes. So do I have to give it to myself? Yeah. I didn't want to just because I didn't want to start it all over again. Yeah.

Okay. So I won. Ratio of the year. Yeah. I got ratioed to hell. Congratulations. Holy fuck. When Memes sent me that, he's like, I'm sorry about what I'm about to send. And I hadn't thought about it for probably four months. Yeah. And I looked at it and I was like, oh my God, the numbers are staggering. Now, did you, uh, do you think you gained followers or lost followers? Lost

probably. Yeah. Probably lost. Yeah. Hey, listen, we all say things. We do. I stand by it. I stand by it. You know what, big cat, it's because you were acting in that clip. Try selling truth instead. That's true. If a gunman came to me and said, hey, you got to be on a sex tape, I probably would be like, I come too fast. Self-truth.

Yeah. OK, what do we have next? Next up, we have the WNBA Rookie of the Year. Oh my god. There's a lot of good options here. We've never given this award. No, it's the first time ever. Thank you to Caitlin Clark for growing the game. Or you to Angel Reese or thank you to whoever or thank you to Cameron Brink

Oh Those are the nominees. Oh Caitlin Clark Angel Reese people watch the WNBA for her too and Cameron Brink are the nominees and the winner of the WNBA rookie of the year award It's Cameron Brink. Wow! Cameron Brink, I think she has grown the game. And Huey, you're a WNBA expert. How has Cameron Brink been playing?

She's hurt. Oh. Yeah, but. But like only day to day? But think about this. Rest of the season. Oh, rest of the season? But think about this big cat.

But the first few games she had. Incredible. Ratings are so high right now. And that's with Cameron Brink injured. Imagine what they're going to be when she comes back. That's true. And the fits she's been getting off. I did also like the memes that went out about Cameron Brink.

Those were funny. People were finding all kinds of pictures of small men and large women. You guys know what I'm talking about. What was the impressive part of her season? She was on fire to start? Yeah, she was just a very good rookie. Very similar to Angel Reese in how she played and her numbers. A little bit better shooter.

She was great at Stanford. Well, I also think, didn't she make, I think she made the Olympic team before Caitlin Clark did. Yeah. It was the three on three team. Yeah. Yeah, that's a fact. You should be representing this country right now. All right. Cameron Brink is our W NBA Rookie of the Year. Congratulations to her. Yes. How

tall is she? She's like six two. How tall is she? Six four. Six four. Yeah. She's a four. Oh man. And how tall is her guy? I don't know actually. Good question. Yeah. How tall are you here? Six on the dot. Oh. On the dot. Good for you. Is that, wait, when you say six on the dot,

you can't actually be six on the dot. No, without shoes, 6.01. I don't. OK. All right, all right, all right. I'm up for debate. All right. OK.

OK. Back to back. Back to back. All right. Next up up we have The Ruth Conda forever Award take of the year. This is now. This is our co-worker Kevin Kevin Clancy started This when we had the famous Ruth Conda tweet that went viral. I think it was

Four or five years ago it read just told my 10-year-old daughter about RBG with his Ruth Bader Ginsburg when she passed away. What's this? First I'm hearing of this. Yeah, she, what was the song playing? Fuck, it was like hilarious. When he's on the tarmac? Yeah.

It's a great clip. It was like Rocket Man or something? Yeah, it was Rocket Man. Yeah, I think it was Rocket Man. All right, so just told my 10-year-old daughter about RBG. She had tears in her eyes and then she did the Wakanda pose and said, Ruth Konda forever, which is the sort of pop culture crossover that I can celebrate. I love that.

So this award is for people who basically just go online and lie about what their kids say in terms of politics because they're too scared to say it themselves. The lowest of the low. The lowest of the low. Imagine having a fictional child say something themselves. The lowest of the low. The lowest of the low. Imagine having a fictional child say something online. The lowest of the low. So the nominees this year, we have some good, we have three great nominees.

One happened just recently. This is from JoJo from Jers. She said, I told my 11-year-old daughter that Jo had dropped out and she started to cry and through her tears she asked, so who will run now? And I said, Kamala. And then she shouted, fuck yes. That's so that's so true. So sweet. So true. She's one of those Twitter accounts that she has to be online all the time. You have to have notifications set up for every tweet,

no matter what, like part of the news ecosystem it comes from. Yeah. If it's politics, sports, weather, she's always like the first reply to me. Yes. Wild move. Yes. The next is from Ellie NYC. She said, or he, I don't know, Ellie, she? 1L? Ellie. E-L-I-E. Ellie Schmidt. Yeah. My kid just said it's sad to watch a pack of lies beat a good person just because the good person can't speak. Talking about Joe Biden versus Donald Trump in their debate.

That's a fair point. Like you can't lie if you can't talk. Yeah. And Ellie replied, I literally just gave him a hug and said that debates don't matter. Turns out debates do matter. They do a lot. They matter a lot. It's kind of where it kind of it's kind of where you talk about all fell apart. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So and then the last one is from Rebecca Hazelton. She said everyone dies one day. Everyone even wolves, but not books not words words don't die

my son Three who is a lot smarter than I? Words don't there's no I have a three-year-old I don't think three-year-olds know what death is a three-year-old never constructed this type of sentence Yeah, like let alone the death part the sentence yet No three-year-old my son started talking to me about death around four and a half. My three year old has no idea. But again, let me read it. This is from a three year old. Everyone dies one day. Everyone. Everyone. Everyone. Yeah. Let me do it in books. Not woods. Woods don't die.

What the fuck? Why did- this is bad parenting. Why did you teach your three-year-old that wolves die? Seriously? And that everyone dies? Yeah, I don't want to know that when I'm three. No. Hell no. Okay, so Ruth Konda Forever, which is a, I'm happy we added this category. Shout out, Kevin. And the winner is for the Ruth Konda Forever Takey Award. It's Rebecca Hazelton.

Everyone dies one day. Everyone. Even wolves, but not books, not words. Words don't die. My son, three, who is a lot smarter than I am. Wolves die. Wolves die. But not words.

So we taped the takeys over two days, so a little out of order at points, and I tried to coach my three-year-old to say this whole thing, and I sent you guys a video, and she got the last sentence, and it wasn't even correct. Yeah, it was like, I think she said words. Yeah, words. So it proves yet again that this is the most bullshit thing ever. I was saying the words to her, feeding her lines, and she couldn't get it. If you do have a child, though, that is that eloquent? What a content goldmine that would be.

Seriously. You can just retire right now. Yeah. Quick break from the takees. Talk about our friends at Factor Meals. I have been a Factor Me meal guy for a very long time. Actually before factor meals came on as a, uh, advertiser, I got them cause they are the best. You can change your menu every single week. They send you fresh meals. You put them in there, your refrigerator, then you pop them out, put them

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and use code PMT 50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month. That's code PMT 50 at factor meals.com PMT to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month while your subscription is active. Okay, let's get back to the take the 20th award that we're giving out this year is for the 17th best quarterback of the year. Whoa First annual I think we're gonna repeat this next. Yes, it seems like a good category

Yes, the 2024 taking nominees for 17th best quarterback of the year are Kirk cousins. Oh Kirk win this 17th best quarterback quarterback? That's just past half. Yeah, yeah. Deshaun Watson. Oh. He might have been worse than that, actually. Yeah.

I think we had him in the 20s. OK. Gardner Minchu. That feels about right for Gardner. Yep. I feel like he could win this. Geno Smith and Dak Prescott. I feel like he could win this. Geno Smith and Dak Prescott.

And the winner of the first annual 17th Best Quarterback of the Year award is Dak Prescott. Wow! Congrats. Now, we didn't do this award just so that we could put it on a logo and post it, did we? No, we grinded through hours and hours of tape. We watched every throw that he made going back to Mississippi State. We watched everything about Dak Prescott. a logo and post it, did we? No, we grinded through hours and hours of tape.

We watched every throw that he made going back to Mississippi State. We watched everything about Dak Prescott. Yes. And we put in together a spreadsheet and a proprietary algorithm, and it spat this out. So Dak is officially the 17th best quarterback in the NFL. Wow, incredible.

Of the year. Now it's cemented, because once you win the Takey, it's cemented forever. That is what you are. Okay, we got a few left. We're rounding it out. We still got Blake of the Year left. We still got podcast listeners of the year left.

But next up, we have the best four-win team of the year. Now, you might be saying, what the hell, four-win teams? But guess what? Four-win teams are usually the teams that are next up. There were some great four-win teams. They're building something. something first up the New England Patriots who went four and 13 huge season for your boys enormous start a start of the championship DVD right Hank yep was Drake may draft night also up

the Washington commanders four and 13 yeah, I gotta give credit to Hank his for one team was better We drafted before them. So we got Jayden Daniels. That's true. Yeah, did you see the Giants clip? No from hard knocks. No That GM asked his son. He said you gotta get Jayden Daniels if you want to win You got to take a shot Wow, and then he said with conda forever Books don't matter. No books matter The Colorado Buffalo's four and eight Yeah, what a great what a great start incredible season Dion was college football. Yeah, and then finally the Arizona Cardinals are up for the four win team of the year

with their four and 13 Record so they were better than the Patriots because you drafted before the Cardinals, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah, so they might, according to my metrics here, they're the best 4-win team in the NFL. Yeah, that's facts. OK, drum roll.

And the winner for best 4-win team of the year goes to the Colorado Buffaloes. Congrats, Colorado. Incredible. I know the ESPYs probably ignored the Colorado Buffalo. Congrats, Colorado. Incredible. I know the ESPN probably ignored the Colorado Buffaloes, but not here, not on Pardon My Take. We're giving it to them, the best four-win team of the year. The ESPN doesn't pay any attention to Colorado football.

Finally they're getting shined. It's disgusting. Yep, finally they're getting some shine. We also fucked up when we did the Mount Rushmore of Animals that you'd like to be. Yep. Because if we're taking animal mascots, I feel like Ralphie should be right at the top. Yeah. Ralphie's got a great gig. Ralphie lives on a farm outside Boulder. They bring her onto the field.

She runs and they don't really tell her where to go. They're just like, we're bringing this Buffalo out onto the field. Yeah. And let's just let the chips fall where they may. Yeah. Ralphie's the best. Uh, okay. What do we got next? Okay. Up next we have the buyout of the year. Oh, good one. A lot of good buyouts in 2023, 2024. First nominee is Russell Westbrook.

Yeah, the buyout king. Russell Westbrook, see two in a row in Utah. He's put together a mini dynasty of buyouts, hasn't played a single second of basketball practice with the team even But he's getting paid. Yeah, next up. We have Monty Williams. Mmm, Monty Williams former son double buyout former piston Yeah back-to-back and the final nominee for buyout of the year is Jimbo Fisher Yeah, Jimbo Fisher got the big check from Texas A&M. We saw the big check get delivered onto the field the week before the buyout happened.

One of the best college football wrinkles, like Texas A&M especially because of all the oil money, but yeah, the donor donating like $100 million at halftime of a Texas A&M game and then seven days later Jimbo Fisher getting bought out was so perfect. And all three of these guys really hats off to them. They're all winners because you've accomplished the American dream. Correct. You're getting paid to stop working.

Correct. That's awesome. The winner of the 2024 buyout of the year takey is Jimbo Fisher. Wow. Texas A&M. The price of oil and gas went up. They were able to afford it, got him out of town. Now he's just going to go fishing for a while.

What was his buyout again? Shit, what was it? Jimbo Fisher's buyout. It was so awesome. I want to say he got like $70 million. It's also so funny because when you get a buyout, $75 million, when you get a buyout like that, you get a bunch of people, oh, 77 million. You get a bunch of people who don't follow college football that fly in from the crowd and being like, they can't fire him. The buyout's too big. It's like, no, no, no, no. Listen. There's no buyout too big.

When you're the only game in town, especially at a big state school that's in a small town, that's where all the money goes. So they will figure out a way to at least be... Now, this is actually a sweet spot for schools. Like, we always say Penn State, but I also feel like A&M could sneak into a college football playoff, too. This is a good spot for them. Yeah, it is. Okay, next up, Max, get off of my Taylor Swift tweet. You're gonna accidentally retweet it. I know that's what you're gonna do.

It's up to 40 million views. Get off of it. You just retweeted it Come on, dude You fucking asshole It's funny though, there's accident there's accident It was a little I mean back fat face max you do have just like a ace in the hole at all times Just retweet it every day. Oh I won't delete it. I'll never delete it.

Okay, let's get to our next award. Can't win the big one of the year. A lot of athletes can't win the big one. A lot of big ones out there that can't be won. Yeah, so we had Connor McDavid. Can't win the big one. Can't do it. Can't win the big one.

Almost did. People say he's the best, but he can't win the big one. He won three out of seven of the big ones. Yeah. Caitlin Clark can't win the big one. Can't win the big one. Cannot win the big one. College. College.

Choke. WNBA probably. Can't win the big one. Olympics. No gold medal for her. Nope. Rory McIlroy. Can't win the big one. Can't win the big one. I don't think medal for her. Nope. Rory McIlroy. Can't win the big one. Can't win the big one.

I don't think he's ever going to win a major. I don't think so either. He's going to be one of those guys that you look back on and you're like, Colin Montgomery. What could have been? Can't win a major. Yeah. Sergio Garcia.

Can't win a major. Can't do it. Lamar Jackson. Can't win the big one. Can't win the big one. He's got a lot of number two. They were favored at home. Perfect setup. Number one seed. Incredible season. Can't win the big one. Can't win. He's got a lot of number two. They were favored at home. Perfect setup.

Number one seed. Incredible season. Can't win the big one. Run the football. Run the football. Max in the lottery ball. Max is never going to get this lottery ball. He's never going to get the lottery ball.

It's so funny watching Max just not get the lottery ball ever. He can't win the big one. The good thing is that I can win the big one with my sports teams. Actually, Joel Embiid's the next nominee. Can't win the big one with my sports teams. Actually, Joel Embiid's the next nominee. Can't win the big one. And he can't even win the small one. He can't win the big one before the big one. He can't win one.

He actually can't win the big one before the big one before the big one. He's never won one that was like above average size. Yeah. Can't win it. Max can say, oh, gold medal. That would actually be really funny if USA finished second. Now I'm rooting for it. Yeah. Can't win it. Uh, Max is gonna say, oh, gold medal. That would actually be really funny if USA finished second. Now I'm rooting for it.

Shit. It would be. But now I'm rooting for it. Damn it. But like, that would be everyone. I guess. I guess. But it would be really about you.

Actually that was stupid. There's no way that the Bulls or the Wizards would have anyone on team USA. It would be about you, buddy. That's actually a fair statement. Yeah. That's a fair point. Yeah.. It would be about you, buddy. That's actually a fair statement. Yeah. That's a fair point. Yeah, but it would be about you. But it's also a big loser move to be like, well, if I don't win and it be a championship,

at least I've got a gold medal. Yeah, Carmelo Anthony. Yeah. Friend of the program, Carmelo Anthony. Friend of the program. We like Carmelo Anthony. Aura. Okay, and we have a very special guest presenting this award. Oh

Hey guys, we're here Ryan Whitney I think the number one reoccurring guest on the number one sports podcast in the world pardon my take and I'm here to present To you for the 2024 Takies Award the award of can't win the big one nominees Caitlin Clark Rory McIlroy, Connor McDavid, don't like him being a part of it, go Oilers, Joel Embiid, who else we got Lamar of the Baltimore Ravens and Max with a lottery ball and the award goes to Caitlin Clark, Crimea River Portnoy. Caitlin Clark can't win the big one of the year. Wow, Caitlin Clark. Thank you, Ryan.

Incredible. Thank you, Ryan. Appreciate that. I mean, I thought that this was going to be Connor McDavid. I thought that it was going to be Connor McDavid right up until Ryan Whitney said he would not announce the award saying it was Connor McDavid. Yeah, but I think that Caitlin Clark is a great choice if you had to was Connor McDavid. Yeah. But I think that, you know,

Caitlin Clark is a great choice if you had to replace Connor McDavid with somebody. Yes, exactly. Exactly. If maybe, you know what it is, this might be kind of mean Whitney. He never won the big one. You think he's got, you think he's got, can't win the big one sensitivity. Yeah, he might. So that probably is where that's from. Yeah. Oops. Our bad. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry Ryan. I just that just occurred to me right now. Yeah, okay next up. We have a new award Sexiest NFL fan of the year. Oh, yeah. All right. It's some sexy fans speaking of Taylor Swift is nominated for sexiest NFL fan of the year for her brain for her brain is nominated for Sexiest NFL Fan of the Year. For her brain.

For her brain. We also have our good friend Stavi, who had an incredible run with the Ravens that fell short. Ronnie. He was part of the, you know, the team and everything that went into it, so it was pretty cool. We have Sprinkles, Detroit Don and Super Fans. Seatmate that they,

that came back for a playoff game. What does she get dressed up as? Is she a clown? I would imagine. There's gotta be some kind of... I thought she was a cupcake. She might be a cupcake. Oh, a cupcake. Okay. Yeah, that's sexy. Sprinkles, okay. Um, Sprinkles is nominated, and Jake Browning's girlfriend, nominated again.

She was great. She was boxed. Yeah. Okay, so we have a very special guest presenter for this award and let's kick it to him. What's up, everybody? It's your boy, Stavi. I hopped out straight out of the

pool because I'm getting my Michael Phelps on this summer and I'm here to announce the 2024 takey for the hottest, sexiest NFL fan. And that is the winner is none other than me That's right take that t-swifty Jake Browning's girlfriend Bam, I will never lose to anyone connected to the Cincinnati Bengals Jake Browning

You can lick my Stavros brown. I the only competitor I have respect for sprinkles. You were a worthy adversary You deserve this just as much as I do. Thank you, I'm honored to win a takey. As a special give back to the AWLs who are NFL fans, I am offering to fuck your wife all season as long as the Ravens play your team. As a gift to you, I will fuck your wife after the Ravens beat your dumbass team. I want to wait in the fucking Super Bowl baby. Let's go. Nice job. Stobby. Bustache is looking good too. Look at that. It looks so good. It looks kind of like the Natty Bo

logo. Oh man. So Sprinkles got a little shout out there. The adversary. Yeah. So so Stavi, he won the award that he was nominated for and presented. That's pretty good. Yeah. Pretty good year for Stavi. Great year for Stavi. All right, rounding it out, we got a few more. We do. We have a special category here.

New category, the Florio of the Year. Oh. The Florio of the Year award. Oh, this is a big, this is a big. Who's going to win this? The nominees are Mike Florio. Oh Year Award. Oh, this is a big, this is a big, who's gonna win this? The nominees are Mike Florio. Oh. Just the lie?

The biggest lie? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought you guys made your piece. Hey. I'm just trying to get kind of. Memes, can you explain Florio of the Year Award? Someone who just kind of over exaggerates stories and. Lies.

Yeah, kind of lies What was it was the thing that he got so upset about floria when sites made up things for oh he got upset about the Archie Manning's yeah story. Yeah, where it was like some websites out there are just generating. Yeah, his inflammatory headlines for clicks Yeah, that was a great one. Yeah, but yeah Hank, it's disappointing because you and Mike made your piece publicly. No, we have we're good. I was just curious what that meant. You just called him a liar though. I asked Does it mean lies? But doesn't okay, the Florida your nominees are Mike Florio.

Diana Rossini. Matt Miller. Dan Graziano. Wow. A lot of Italians on this list. memes seems like you you gotta type. And the winner of the Florio of the Year Award for 2024 is Mike Florio. Mike Florio defending the crown.

It's all about the family. Memes, will you will you want to accept this award on behalf of Mike Florio? Yeah, I would love to. Okay. Dan Graziano came in as a late Florio? Yeah, I would love to. OK. Dan Graziano came in as a late Florio, but I managed to beat him out with just all time lies on the part of my take podcast.

Went on an all time rant. But I'll be back next year to win it. OK. How many of these nominees had a story about the New York Jets? All four of them. Had a story about the New York Jets all four Who came up with the nominee list I came up with three out of four which one did you not a Florio? Okay, it was just automatically Okay, you came up with all four. Yeah, I like this category though. It's like who can unseat Florio. Yeah, it's like King of the Hill Yeah, who's the Floreo of the year will be will be watching for next year. All right

Next up we have Coach of the year big big year in sports. We had some incredible championship runs Someone's got a win coach of the year. The nominees are Joe Missoula from the Boston Celtics. Great coach. Yeah. Oh, Hank, he's so tired of winning. He just doesn't even. I've shown more excitement when I got passed in the fan. I mean, it's a nomination and we'll talk when he wins. Okay. JJ Reddick, Los Angeles Lakers coach. Great coach. We have Jim Harbaugh, won national title, got hired for the Chargers, our guy,

football guy through and through. And then Andy Reid with his third Super Bowl. Getting close to that. Is he the GOAT? Yeah. I mean, it's going to be tough to beat Andy. Andy is in the GOAT conversation. He's halfway there. Yeah. Current coaches. Yeah. He's really, really good. And he's got a great quarterback. Yeah, he's coaching his balls off. Is. All right, we have a special guest presenter for this award. I've not seen this video.

So let's all watch it together. Boys, it is my honor and privilege to announce the 2024 Takeys Coach of the Year, one of my dearest friends. And this is an insanely proud moment for me because this man is like a brother to me, JJ Redding. Fuck you Max, I know you're sick hearing that name. Fuck you. Congratulations JJ, you have earned this award, you deserve this award just like everything else in your life. Take the

Lakers all the way, listen to me, look at me, take the Lakers all the way because you've got a lot of haters out there, a lot of naysayers, Max being one of them. And hey, Max, what are you going to do when the Lakers run wild on your candy asses out there? Silly congratulations, bro. Again, you deserve this. Cherish this moment and I'll see you at Christmas, man. Max does hate JJ incredible incredible fucking despises JJ Rettig. Oh It's funny, okay We got three left. We do should we should we add one? We didn't do our play of the year Oh, yes, piece had there they gave to Lamar. Okay. Do you guys have a play of the year? I have a play of the year. Oh. The Aspys had their they gave to Lamar. Okay. Do you guys have

a play of the year? I have a play of the year. Travis Kelsey throwing the lateral to Kaderius Tony that was called back on the flag. Yep. And Travis and Andy were saying it's sad because that won't be included in Canton one day. Yeah. Well, we're we're memorializing it right now. Okay. My play of the year is summer league when brawny took it coast to coast and he bricked Ten footer. That's a good one. Yeah Hank Probably oh, I have one Well, if Hank can think of one I had one for him probably had to be in the Copa. Oh, yeah

Okay winner, which which team? I had one for him. Probably had to be in the Copa. Oh yeah. That game winner. Which team? Argentina. Nice, nice, nice. Which team? Who are they playing? The semis. I'm blanking on who they're playing, but the semis final win is incredible.

Who scored? Portugal. Who scored? Portugal. When they beat Portugal. Do you remember who scored? Yeah. Hamas?

Hamas Hamas Okay, I was gonna say that Mac Jones interception in England you remember that one Yeah, that one that was under thrown by like 15 yards. That was a great one. Can we nominate that one? Yeah, absolutely Okay, absolutely. So we should let the listeners vote. Yeah. Yeah listeners. We'll put up a poll. I have one too. Okay The Jalen Carter almost interception off of the spike. Nah, that wasn't that cool. Yeah. That wasn't. You lost the game.

But it was cool. Yeah, no, it wasn't cool. All right, so we'll let the listeners vote. They have four to vote on. So we'll be giving out after the listeners vote. All right, so the last three awards, PFT, you got one of them? Yeah, this is the preemptive take of the year award

Hmm, so this is where we try to get out ahead of the story Yeah, and call something way in the future Yes, and I'm excited to see what you guys have yeah, I don't know what each other's preemptive takes are Yeah, so how do I start this who wants to start? Why don't we start with memes? We'll go around one with Hank Memes your preemptive take of the year. All right, the 76ers will implode with Paul George. OK. And Joel Embiid will force himself to the Knicks.

Wow. Wow. I mean, that would be crazy if true. OK. The 76ers will succeed with Paul George. OK. And Joel Embiid will win an Eastern Conference Finals MVP. Whoa.

In a losing effort? In a winning effort. Oh, okay. We're not ready to say. Wait, wait, wait. Is that your dream? What was your wildest dream? That's not our dream.

In your wildest imagination. This isn't dream of the year. This is take of the year. What's dream of the year? In your wildest take, the Sixers still lose in the finals. Correct. That's not what I said. They come in second place.

That's not what I said. He could win both. But I said that he will win the Eastern Conference Finals MVP. I personally, if I thought they were going to win the whole thing, I would have started there. Yeah. That could be your take. Who cares about the Eastern Conference Finals MVP?

Yeah. Who does? That's my take. OK. Huey. The WNBA. The finals of the WNBA specifically will have more ratings. We'll have the third most ratings in the fall.

Wait, third? More ratings or third most? Third most in the fall. The season of fall. So behind college football and the NFL okay there needs to be a third place God WNBA finals will surpass the NBA opening will surpass the NHL and it'll be the third most watched sports Oh series that was it it'll it'll it'll battle the World Series and it will be 30. Okay. I like that Who do you have a nice take?

Okay, I like that. Yeah, who do you have a nice take? The Vegas Aces obviously, yeah plumb and mrs. Wilson and the other sides up up in the area. Okay Okay up in the area. I've noticed you he adds words that don't need to be there. That's okay And I love it We need to up the word count of each podcast like paid by the word up in the air yet yet doesn't need to be in there Up in the air yet. Yet doesn't need to be in there. Mm-hmm. He just... It's like almost like he's... He doesn't... He knows he's done talking,

but he's like, let me just get one more in there. I fucking love it. All right, Shane, you got one? You got one, Shane? What? Take? Take. Preemptive take. Am I rolling? Yeah. Gus Edwards will lead the NFL in rushing touchdowns. Okay. Okay. What teams he

play for? He's on the Chargers. Oh, interesting. What's on your shirt? Also Rookie of the Year. What's on your shirt right now? Offense. What's your shirt say? What is your shirt? Oh, it's a Chargers shirt. Mm-hmm. Oh, it's a Junior Sale. Okay, all right, got it, got it. His nicest outfit. Okay. All right, boys. My preemptive take of the year is that Taylor Swift and Travis are going to get engaged. Oh and Then she's gonna put out a terrible album Oh because she's happy and she doesn't have any boyfriends to complain about and then all our fans are gonna start to hate her Because her music sucks because she's happy with her personal life Wow How about I like it. I like it

Okay, my preemptive take of the year. I believe Henry Lockwood is going to dunk. Let's go not Got not I can't believe you fell for that. I Believe okay. That's my preemptive take Henry lock was gonna dunk not That's improper English is it There's a comment there dunk not

Dunk not no, I think you're gonna be able to dunk. I really do I actually do other two psych Hank my prince are you high right now? I really do I actually do other two psych Hank my prince are you high right now? How I should rephrase that how high zero percent high I believe you're gonna be able to dunk Hank I just don't want to say thank you because I said thank you I got nodded What type of night? What type of knot was that PFT? It doesn't matter. I Believe you're gonna be able to dunk. Thank you.

Psych. Yeah. That's fine. No, I actually do. I actually 100% believe you're going to dunk because you've been working out a lot. You've been training a lot. Thanks. Gotcha. All right. What's your preemptive take? It wouldn't be the most shocking thing if you did.

No. I think it's opposite day. Yeah. OK. What's your preemptive take? It wouldn't be the most shocking thing if you did. No. I think we're going to. It's opposite day. Yeah. OK, Hank, what's your preemptive take? My preemptive take of the year is that Drake May and New England Patriots are going to have more combined wins than the Washington

football team and Chicago Bears. Combined? Combined. That is the craziest thing. It's wild. That's wild. Hank. That's wild. How many wins? Seven. So we're gonna have we're gonna have six combined more equal. So maybe if you want to has four, one is three. That's that's wild. That's well taken. Would you like to wager on that? No, I'm already in pretty deep with PFT. So I'm just gonna yeah

Oh, that's right. Sometimes I forget like I feel like I'm a bad gambler and then I remember that Hank is gonna owe me What twenty thousand dollars is fifty fifty thousand dollars? No, you're gonna owe me fifty. Yeah, I already gonna be up 20 I think it was fifty to three or fifty to thirty. So I think you might owe me thirty now Well, well, it wasn't that if the Patriots don't make the Super Bowl in how many years I think was 50 to 10 I think it was yeah five years, but it here is no way I give you 50 to 30 So it's four more years. Yeah more years. Yeah. Yeah, it's like there's always money in the bananas. I got it I'm rich. Yeah, I'm gonna be so rich in four years. They're gonna make a super bowl the next four years easy easy You love Drake, man.

I actually do. Yeah. I know. I've seen the t-shirt. You should release that. OK, quick break from the takees for the row back question. Row back question for memes and pug, because you guys are sitting here with me.

And we forgot to do the row back question, but now we're here. Row back question for memes and pugs. How is the editing of the takeys going? It's a great time. It's a great time. Yeah, it's just so many fun awards. I don't know which one's my favorite pug. Okay.

Nice job, pug. Memes? Yeah, it's a great time. Lots of fun. We're watching Jerry Gessum states. Okay. Alright. So roeback.com.

We love the people at Roeback. They're one of our favorite sponsors. Qs is polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. I'll tell you right now, the joggers are the best. I wear them every single day. Polos, if you're a golfer, do it. The light sweatshirts, just in time for fall. Roeback has it all. Roeback.com promo code TAKE. 20% off your first question or first purchase. That was the roback question. 20% off your first purchase. roback.com. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. And now back to the Takeys. Okay, it's time for one of the most important awards we give away every single year at the Takeys. It is Blake of the Year time. So here's what we're doing. We've done many different ways for people who are listening to their first Takeys. Blake of the Year is

Blake Griffin, Blake Bortles, and we've added Brooks Koepka probably five years ago. He is a Blake. I don't know what the exact stats are. I believe Blake Griffin is a three time winner. I think it's Blake Bortles has two and Brooks sadly can't win the big one. He has zero. So we've done it every single way. We've done it first to answer the phone call. We've done trivia. We did the famous lottery ball year, which was painful and I'm shocked that these guys even still return our text messages. This year we're going old school with a new school twist. It's going to be similar to the phone call, the first to answer the phone, one previous

Blake of the years. This year we're going to do a Zoom link. So I've told all three Blakes a window and it's, we're in the window right now. They're in all different parts of the world. Blake Brooks is in the UK. Blake Griffin is in LA. Blake Bortles is in Florida. When I texted them asking them what their availability was, Brooks said he's playing in a golf tournament in England. Blake Griffin said that he's got some meetings and shit that he's got to attend to and Blake Bortle said he has absolutely nothing.

So Blake Bortle seems like he would be the betting favorite now. But... Brooks Skepka not on the course now though. Not on the course but Blake Bortle's also probably not the most technologically savvy. So Blake Griffin feels like he could be the leader in that respect. So Blake definitely has practiced. Yeah. He's like opened up his own, he's made sure that the app is, uh, is up to date. Yeah. That it's the most current version. Uh, Bortles

might be kind of lounging around, but he might have more technical difficulties just accessing the app. Correct. He might not even have the app downloaded. Okay. And now how are we judging is it first to show her screen recording? So we'll have it exactly right. If they both show up at the same time, we'll figure it it out But it's first to join and we have to hear them and see them correct they have to connect to video and audio So once they join if they're if their video is on the screen and we can't hear them doesn't count now Are we allowed to tell them we can't hear you? Yeah, okay? Shane are you if Shane is listening? Can you can you say something real quick just so the people know check check check check? There we go. Okay, so that that way that the people know it's not on our end

Right Shane is able to connect a video and audio right memes Question Blake Bortles is a three times three times three times three three three three three zero Wow Wow, either one will, either one will win the best of seven or one will break the dreaded streak. Get the monkey off the back. So, uh, I'm texting all three right this second. I'm saying first person to connect to video and audio on the zoom wins Blake of the year, wins Blake of the year 2024.

I told them all to even if they don't win or they feel like they didn't win, they should still try to connect because we'd like to see them all. Big Cat real quick sidebar. I know we just laid out the entire rules and we plan this whole thing out. Is it more of a Blake move to not be able to connect to the zoom? No, no, no. We, we, maybe next year we'll do that wrinkle, but I've already set this up. It was hell of a time setting up three different time zones. When I thought about it, Blake's probably not ready to go.

We still also, next year we're golfing or doing something. Next year we're getting them all three together. We'll figure it out. I want to get them all three together. Okay, here we go. First person to connect to video and audio on the Zoom wins Blake of the Year 2024 with the Zoom link sent. Oh my God. Okay. What if they what if they all of them just don't join and we just sit here.

If the Blake's unionized. Oh we have somebody. No, god. Can we hear him? You are literally waiting in oh, we got another one. Oh, no, here comes Blake portals. This is gonna be heartbreaking for him. Oh Can't wait to talk shit about my Wi-Fi. Oh, and I think I's wearing the Blake of the year. I think Brooks might have tried to join just now Too. Oh my god The Blake oh Too fucking good And now I'm not gonna lie boys. I had my my Wi-Fi guy come out this morning. We took the stricter plate off this bad boy Not exactly street legal, but uh, was it worth it?

That was crazy fast. That was insanely fast. Wait, is Brooks joined or no? No Brooks is you might just not Brooks is just the bad luck guy for every single every single year. Blake I got some we got some beef to settle man. You're out on the street saying I'm cheating out here. Oh dude, it's these restrictor placing your wifi. These catalytic converters you're out on the street saying I'm cheating out here oh dude it's these restrictor placing your Wi-Fi these catalytic converters you're swiping so wait listen man not not street legal but uh it's uh it's worth it that was crazy you joined so fast because we've been taped this whole thing you'll be able to watch it back I went to the chat to check to make sure I was like it was going gonna be in this thread and that it came through

Yeah, Portis. Are you out on your porch right now? Yeah, I've been sitting here for what time was it an hour probably Probably pretty far away from your router. Oh, no, and do you know this is Blake Portals, I I feel bad saying this to you. You guys probably aware of this but Did you know it was three three until today? No. Yeah. Is that what the record was? Yes. You have your three time Blake of the year winner. Blake Griffin is now a four time Blake of the year winner. Brooks, he might not even join this call. Yeah, this is tough. Look for Brooks. I'll tell you what

having your notifications on extra loud for an hour is very annoying. Yeah. That was that was actually shocking how fast you joined because we had a moment when we set the whole thing up. We're like, what if what if none of these guys joined for like a half hour and we're just sitting here like fucking assholes just being like, will anyone join? Holy shit. I got a tough question for the two of you since Brooks isn't on the chat yet. Has the word relegation been thrown around in regards to Brooks Koepka? So interesting question. If I knew what that meant, I would 100% have an opinion. Okay. Like relegating. Are we going to relegate him down to the division

to the Brooks League? Yeah. Drop him down. I don't know. I mean, I feel like that's up to you guys. I don't know if that's a Blake's call. I'll say this in Brooks defense. He is probably at the biggest disadvantage because he's in England and he said that he's at a remote place that has like very bad Wi-Fi. I think he just needs to quit the live tour and focus on Blake of the year. Yeah. If he was serious about it, I guess. Yeah. Blake Griffin, do you want to say anything? You want to acceptance speech? I mean, this is one of the biggest takey awards that we give out every year. Yeah. I mean, honestly, dude, Blake, you can probably attest to this but everywhere I go somebody yells Blake of the year

Somebody else Blake of the year. So I mean, this is a big there's a huge award and it's it means a lot to all of us Some of us it means a little bit more. I guess Brooks doesn't really care. But you know what? I'm just I'm just happy to take it home this year. Great competition all around. Yeah. And I feel like this is a dynasty for you, too. Yeah. Yeah, now I get to do the Klay Thompson thing all the time and hold up four.

Yeah. Are you bad for Blakes? Are you so good at Blake of the Year? It might be bad for Blakes. Wait, who won last year? Bortles did. Oh, yeah. So OK, so there's parity in this league still. So, OK, so this is just parody in this

league still. Is it over? Was it best of seven? Please God. We're just going to keep going. So, Blake Portals, what do you I mean, I said the I said beforehand before we sent out the Zoom link that the text messages when I sent you guys setting this all up was very funny because Brooks was like I'm playing in a golf tournament and Blake Griffin was like I have some things going on and you're like I literally have nothing. So what what what is you going to do to change in this offseason because I mean you just have to give up the award and now you have a whole year to think about it.

Yeah, and it's especially a tough look when I had nothing going on and I couldn't have joined. I couldn't have joined any sooner and I joined and you guys are in Blake are just in a full conversation already. It's not even like he's still trying to figure it out and connect. He was already in. So I think I'm gonna have to start packing the schedule a little bit and change things up. Yeah, that's a good idea. Kid Mack, he was already in. So I think I'm gonna have to start packing the schedule a little bit and change things up. Yeah, that's a good idea. And also in Brooks's defense, he's the only one that still has a current job

that they work at. True. A little bit busy. True. Well, if you guys nod. Yeah, yeah. I can't wait to make the part of my take movie and we get the actor from Clipped to play Blake Bortles Yeah, like Blake Griffin. Yeah, we'll get Sam Houser's brother to play

I know we say this every year, but next year we have to get everyone together. We're gonna do it I feel like we're gonna do it. We're gonna get you back out of Tahoe Blake Bortles Yeah, I got dropped from that roster pretty quickly. Did you play out there, Blake? I did. Day one was brutal. It was so fun. Brutal day one. I was like shaking over my practice putts. And then day two and three terrifying. The people lined up on the tee box. It's like, what are we doing guys? And then day two and three, I played a little bit better, but I, you know, I had no aspirations of winning. It was strictly go out there and don't be last. Luckily, A-Rod, Miles Taylor were out there. I heard you saw a bear too. Dude, I was, I was 10 feet from a bear.

Yeah. I look over and I hear something in the tree and I look over and this bear's, it's like, bear hugging this tree and he's just looking around it at me Yeah, and and max I was like max go get the bear and then that woman was was like hey You probably shouldn't do that. Yeah, I went to go over towards the bear and there was people working there and they were like Don't go near don't go near that bear. Don't go near that bear very aggressive Yeah, apparently it was like a mama bear with like three cubs and you don't want to get in the mama bears way No, that's how we feel about the Blakes. Yeah, don't fuck with him. Yeah, I don't think I don't think he's gonna join No, I don't think he's gonna join. I think he's asleep. It is like 10 p.m. It is late. Yeah

He's got a golf round the next day. What were you gonna say? What was your what was your best round like? I think I I mean, I'm not good. I think I shot at 84 day two, maybe it's pretty good with people watching out there. It's a lot having to make every putt. How, how tough are like the two footers that everybody's normally like, yeah, you're good. And you still got to putt those. They're terrible. One of the first times I played in and my dad caddy for me the first day and after like the fourth time I missed an 18 inch putt, he just stopped. Somebody had a crowd come carry this bag. Blake, I caddied for Blake Griffin for like probably four or

five holes. And I got a new golf term for you that I'd never seen on the golf course. Blake Griffin shot a shot that went like, I don't know, a hundred feet into the woods. And the guy we were playing with was like, that was the great shape of that shot. I don't even know what the fuck that means, but it was, it sounded nice. It was a terrible shot.

It wasn't like a hundred yards in the feet in the woods. It was like 70, 70, 80 tops, but it was great shape. It was pretty. Can you imagine the shape on that thing? I was like, I just turned it was like, what the fuck does that mean? You that was a bad shot. But yeah, Blake Griffin can fucking bomb the ball. I watched it. Like it gets you back out to Tahoe next year and we'll do like a little, we should do a little Blake thing out there. Yeah.

Maybe that's, we do Blake of the year right before the tournament. Yeah. Brooks is probably- Make him, make him, make him pair us together at least one day. Oh. Yeah. That would be incredible.

Brooks has to play lefty. I think Brooks might still win. Yeah. Brooks probably is like, oh, I got a whole job. I'm making like, no. How about me and Bortles scramble? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Versus me and PFT. And we play from like the forward team. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. You guys could, that would definitely level it out.

And then between the two of you, it's whoever you take more shots from. Oh. So then there's also competition between the two of you. It's whoever whoever you take more shots from Oh So then there's also competition between the two. Yeah Okay, I like that. Oh All right Max. Yeah, that's Max dude. Just dialing assassin over there can't see him. But yeah, he's in the booth Yeah, we got a new we got a new intern Huey there, too He's he's a Pistons. Oh Hey, sorry Huey

I've been doing great congratulations Huey do you want to tell Blake about your idea for for a sitcom? I have a TV pilot coming out one day Oh, yeah, Blake you should buy this you'll love this. It's about two brothers One named Carmelo the other Anthony born in Denver, Colorado a couple days before you know who gets traded to the Knicks and Their dad grows up their whole life resenting them you know because there's named Carmelo and Anthony and I could tell you're not going with it. Yeah dude if you could just throw that in an email I'll put my email in the chat you just shoot that over to me and I'll get that in front of my people ASAP.

Thank you. That sounds riveting. Thank you. Way to abort there. That was a good, that was way to read the room, Huey. You didn't even get to the part about a new kid named Nicola. Yeah. Oh man.

All right. Well, thank you both, Blakes. You guys are the best. We love you. Blake Griffin, congratulations. You have a full year as Blake of the Year. The trophy's back in your house. I feel like we gotta make new shirts. Yeah.. Yeah doing the clay Thompson four rings on there. Yeah

Yeah Okay. Well boys appreciate it. Congrats Blake. Thanks Thanks, man, really really felt genuine Yeah, I'm happy for you. Enjoy these 12 months. Alright, see you boys. Alright, see ya. Later. And that's Blake of the Year.

Our favorite award that we give out. I love it. It broke my heart to see the look on Blake Bortles. I know, but he wanted it. That was a thrilling way to do it. You're never going to say that Blake Bortles didn't want to win this. Yeah. Holy shit. He was so fast. Blake Griffin. What was the time on that? I would, I would estimate it to be under 10 seconds. Yeah. It was that fast. And I did now I did give them a three hour window. I was like, here's the three hour

window because they're busy guys. Yeah. But still, I mean, I do feel bad because Blake Portals, like he said, he'd been just sitting there for an hour waiting and still wasn't able to do it. I mean, congrats. It's tough to beat greatness. Yeah. And what we're witnessing right now is greatness. Four time Blake of the Year winner. All right.

We have one last award, PFT, and we should just give it out ourselves. Okay. Um It's a podcast listeners of the year award pretty important award There's a lot of good podcasts out there and a lot of great podcast listeners. Yes. So you want to do the nominees? Yeah, the nominees are the hardcore historians. Okay, listen Dan Carlin. Yep I've got them on the list the politik and fans. Hmm I don't know. What do we call those guys Marshawn Lynch Gavin Newsom Marshawn Lynch's agent who's known Gavin Newsom for years Yeah, I started working on this podcast six months ago The politik and fans. Yep, and then the AWLs of part of my take. Oh, wow. Oh, wow

so who won I Don't think politik and is out yet. Okay. So I had to cross that one off the list. Should we do a drum roll? You can do a drum roll. Okay. Hughie, you want to announce the winner? No, he says no. Smart. No. Memes, do you want to announce the winner?

Who won podcast of the winner? Who won podcast the year the listeners the award-winning listeners of part of my take Nine nine nine nine nine Update those bios incredible run you run out of fingers. Jason Pierre Paul can't count the amount of times that you've won AWL. I thought this year was going to be politics for real. Politics next year. I'm looking in my rear view mirror if I'm the AWLs right now. Yes. So thank you to the AWLs.

We've said a million times, but I feel like I could say it every show. We live a dream life. We have the best job ever. And it's because you guys listen to this show like we wouldn't be able to do this if you weren't as Dedicated to us through ups and downs Sometimes you hate us. Sometimes you love us most the time you hate Hank. Hank's not even here. That's fine So that's fine. Listen to you get the award. Yeah at the end of every episode I say love you guys I truly mean that I love you guys. I truly mean that.

I love you guys. Thank you so much. It means the world to Big Cat, me, Hank, everybody in the booth. We really, really sincerely appreciate it because there's a bunch of podcasts out there. You don't have to listen to us. You've got other options and you choose to and it means so much to us. So sincerely thank you from the bottom of our hearts and we love you guys. It's also one of those things that nine times,

it's crazy looking back, cause I don't know if you feel the same way. It feels like we've been doing this podcast for like five minutes, because I don't know, it's like just time goes so fast when you're having the time of your life. But if you had told me, PFT, Hank, when we're sitting in your Austin apartment or house,

excuse me, I don't want to say his house, it was a row house. It was a row house. If you told us when we were doing the test episode back in 2016, uh, that we would have this type of success and we'd be doing it for nine years or eight years, but nine times for the take ease. Uh, I'd be like, there's no fucking way. There's just, I mean, I think we're, we can do it, but I don't think that we're going to reach these heights. We had that, I've told this story. We had that moment when

we were driving from the Arizona bowl back to Scottsdale and we like, we were just two of us in the car and we're like, what would have happened if we didn't do this podcast? And it was a scary, scary thought. It's crazy. I think it's probably the best decision, at least in terms of our work, of our lives. And it really is like, it's freaky sometimes to think that there's so many people that listen to every episode. I try not to think about that as we're recording.

But when I do have a moment where I get to sit back and think about it, it makes me just very, very thankful for all you guys. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's, like I said, you've got a choice and the fact that you choose us means a lot. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. It's immense gratitude that I don't think we can... We can't accurately convey it other than what we're saying right now, but what we're saying right now is a very small part of the gratitude

We feel so what are you guys in the booth anything to for the AWL's? great year Yeah, great year. I've only obviously been here for two This is my second take he since I've been on but every year I meet more and more of you guys And it's a great time every time I meet you And I'm really grateful that you guys have given me this life and I truly truly do love you guys like PFT always says. Yeah. Memes? I took some time to reflect last week when you let me ask some questions to Aaron Rodgers. I'm very appreciative of everybody on

the show and all the people that listen. I was working in accounts retrieval three years ago and Crazy if my entire life changed, so thank you to everybody who listens. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I mean, I'm obviously the newest one here Been a week The people have been awesome They've been really supportive and nice and they seem to be very, you know, very excited for the future and you know willing to hear out everything I got to say and yeah Yeah, they seem like great people and really I'm excited to work for them and work my ass off for them Yeah, yeah, it's a the we have the best fans in the world. It's not even close

I put our fans up against anyone else any day of the week I know there's some other podcasts that have added some strong fan bases, still would take the AWLs over them. Oh, and Internet War? A hundred percent. Yeah. Especially since her next album's going to stink. Yes, exactly.

She's too happy. Not naming names. She's too happy. The thing about me and Big Cat is we're always upset. Yes. So there's always something to gripe about for people to identify with. Except actually now we might be entering phase two of part of my take where me and Big Cat have elite quarterbacks.

Yeah, true. And become real assholes. Actually yeah, we might be going down the, the we're too happy. This might be when it, when it, when the whole podcast just submarines because everyone's like we don't want to listen to winners all the time. Yep, yep. So at least with Chiefs fans when they listen to us and if they think that we're doubting Patrick Mahomes or their team, they can at least take solace

in the fact that they win something. But if our teams win, then everyone else is gonna be like, fuck you guys. But we sincerely thank you very, very much. Thank you for listening to Takey Awards, and we really love you guys. Yeah, so let's finish up with numbers. Okay, great Takeys, boys.

Congrats again to the AWLs. Nine in a row. Hank, what do you think? Proud. Proud. I did it. Proud. Are you wearing those glasses upside down now? He's high.

No. I'm not high. Why do you think I'm high? Incredible take ease. I love doing the take ease awards every single year. So much fun. And we do give the award winning listeners a lot of credit. And every year, I think we say on the show, but we really do love you. Thank you very much for listening.

Yes. We appreciate you guys are the best people in the world. We need to do a better job for next year's Takeys of figuring out the Takeys as they happen in real time. Who's going to be in charge of that? Because every year we do the same thing where- I'm going to be all over it. Oh, hell yes. All over it. No, but you're going to inject it with profiliate. No, I'm gonna be all over it. Oh, hell yes. All over it. No, but you're gonna inject it with profili-mites. No, I'm not.

All right. No, that's good. You and memes, combo. Yeah. Because we- Combos. We do do this every single year where we get to the takeys and then like a day before we're like, wait, what happened this last year?

Yeah. But we pulled it together. I think we had some great winners. Congrats to all the winners. And let's go to numbers 50 so 20 42 Nine this would be great if you know can't win the big one just immediately got a race Yeah, but you admit you can't win the big one eight no um

Let's pick one for the AWL. It's just just for fun. They can have mine no three What should we pick for the AWLs? Nine. Nine. Nine. Nine. Nine. I picked nine.

Oh. I'll give them 11. No, no, they got nine. Hank, new number. Hank, new number. 17. Three. Pug, Shane.

Pug. 99, Pug. 21. Same again in order. Memes, go 99 Pug. 21. Say them again in order. Memes go around the room. 3. 20.

42. 99 Pug. 21. 8. 56. 17. AWOs have 9. 15. 15! Damn! Tivo! My homes! Love you guys! I'm out!

I'm out! I'm out! I'm out! I'm out! I'm out! I'm out! I'm out! I'm out!

I'm out! I'm out! I'm out! I'm out! I'm out! I'm out! I'm out! I'm out!

I'm out! I'm out! I'm out! I'm out! I'm out! I'm out what I'm to say, I'll say it anyway. Today is another day to find you. Shine away, I'll be coming for your love, okay? Another day to find you shine away I'll be coming for your love. Okay? I'll be coming for your love. Okay? I'm rolling awake, slowly learning that life is okay Say up to me, it's so better to be safe than sorry

Say up to me, it's so better to be safe than sorry Things that you say, every little I've heard Just to play my memories away You're all the things I've got to remember I won't disobey memories away You're all the things I've got to remember Be a shying away I'll be coming for you anyway Be a shying away I'll be coming for you anyway

Take on me Take on me Take on me Take me on Take on me I'll give you Give it to you Take on me Take on me I'll take on you Take on me

Take me on Take on me I'll take on you Take on me Take me on, take me on, I'll be yours