Pardon My Take - The Office’s Brian Baumgartner, Pitt QB Kenny Pickett, MNF And A Special Wednesday Reading

Episode Date: November 17, 2021

We do some MNF clean up and ask whether the Rams are actually good or not. Mike McCarthy monkey butt. College Football talk(00:02:54-00:29:48). Hot Seat/Cool Throne and Coach K has a major problem at Duke with everyone getting DUI’s(00:29:48-00:51:02). Brian Baumgartner aka Kevin Malone from the office joins the show to talk about his new book, The Office, and the Packers probably winning the Super Bowl(00:51:02-01:22:32). Pitt QB Kenny Pickett joins the show to talk about the Game Of The Year, 2 gloves, his hand size, upcoming draft and more(01:22:32-01:44:22. We finish with a very special Wednesday reading from Dan Orlovsky’s blog(01:44:22-02:05:29).You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we got a twofer for the people. We have recurrent guest, Brian Baumgartner. I don't know if I say his name correctly every time because it's Madison Baumgartner, so I kind of- Brian Baumgartner.

Now, Kevin from the office, great guest in person, awesome to have him in here. We also have Kenny Pickett, pit quarterback, maybe potentially top 10 pick. He's climbing up the draft boards. This is, I don't want to say the G word, but it is our grooming process here. We're getting in with Kenny Pickett before Kenny Pickett blows up. Why don't we change, like how we phrase that? We're baiting him. Yeah, we're becoming friends with him early on enough that when he becomes the starting

quarterback for an NFL franchise next year, we can be like, that's our guy. Then after three years, we make him give us 10% of his contract. Josh Allen, Josh Allen. All right, we're going to talk money. Football, talk some college football, hot seat, cool throne, and then a special Wednesday reading, because we're going to do it Monday, but we ran long because it's football Mondays. So pack show for you and we're brought to you by our friends at Tostitos. Listen, Tostitos has created Romo in your ear, a Bluetooth earpiece that helps a football

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They're the official chip and dip of the NFL, so thank you to Tostitos. Okay, let's go. Welcome to part of my take presented by Tostitos. Go right now to Tostitos.com slash Romo to get a chance to win Romo in your ear. Today is Wednesday, November 17th in PFT. I have a question, are we sure the Rams are good? I don't know. I think that Odell Beckham has found himself in a situation that Odell Beckham doesn't

deserve. Fran, I think that we need to have an honest conversation about whether or not the Rams are doing enough to put enough pieces around Odell Beckham. There was a moment during Monday Night Football where they zoomed in on Odell Beckham and I don't think this is what he was thinking, but I could see someone in his spot thinking this being like, damn, maybe it is me. That moment where you're like, maybe I'm the reason for all these toxic relationships. Definitely not.

I can guarantee you 100% that's not what Odell Beckham was thinking. No, I know, but that's what I would have been thinking. His face in that moment was like a reasonable person, be like, is it me? Am I the one here? Right, like if hypothetically I had an old show on Sirius that only lasted for one episode and then after that I had a show on ESPN2 that lasted for one episode. Maybe I would start to think it's me. I know I have that sort of self-awareness, Odell Beckham doesn't, but I think in reality

what last night just kind of confirmed for us, which we should, we're so fucking dumb that we haven't realized this yet after how many years you've been watching football, like 30? Oh, my life. You've been watching football for probably like 32 years. Yeah. Actually, my son for the first time yesterday or Saturday said dead at football and I was like, that's it.

I love that. He's a football guy. I figured it out, but he didn't want to actually watch, but he just acknowledged the fact that that's all I do. I think he just associates it with like data sits there and he watches football. That's all he needs to know in life. Yes. He's already probably a better gambler than you are.

Yeah, oh, it does. So, I would think that after all this time spent watching football, we'd finally understand that even good teams suck in the NFL. The amount of parity that there is, there are like three teams that usually are better than the bad teams, but then three weeks a year, those three good teams are actually much worse than even the worst teams. Okay. So, I agree with you and it's true.

There's always these clunkers. You saw the Cowboys last week lose to the Broncos. I think the Cowboys are a good team. We talked about many times about the Packers and what happened week one against the Saints. The Rams though, I think the Rams, we got a little fooled from that week three win against the Bucks. So, if you actually look at the Rams and I think there's a little bit of a, oh, Sean McVeigh and Matt Stafford, what a great story, they have Aaron Donald.

The Rams passed the test of random team you don't root for that you can name a ton of guys from. Yeah. So, the random team that you don't root for that you know a bunch of guys on the roster will always seem better in your brain because you're like, well, yeah, Aaron Donald, Jalen Ramsey, you know, all those guys, Matt Stafford, Whitworth, you can just start listing all these guys, they're not your team, so you think they're good, but I look back, right? The Rams, if you take out the Bucks win, which was phenomenal, it goes back to Hank when

the Patriots with their peak of their dynasty and you guys would always make fun of teams that won a big game in September and be like, well, they won the week three Super Bowl. The Rams won the week three Super Bowl. They beat the Bucks. They beat them very, very soundly at home. The rest of the Rams resume at this point, they have not beaten another team over 500. They have beaten a combined, so every team that they beat, the best team they've beaten besides the Bucks is the Indianapolis Colts.

Record for the rest of their schedule, if you take out the Bucks win, is 15, 39 and 1. They have beaten the Lions, the Texans, the Bears, the Geno Seahawks, and the Giants. These are teams that you wouldn't be saying these are the best teams in the NFL and they've had tests against the Cardinals got smashed, tests against the Titans get smashed, and then go into a Monday Night Football game where I know Billy said it was a clowning. It was not a clowning, it was a whooping, and it was man football, and we had a sad field goal at the end by Sean McVeigh, who then did it on Psychic. It was a whooping.

Yeah. It was a whooping, not quite a whooping. I think, well, the difference between these two teams is the Los Angeles Rams are like a basketball team playing football. The Niners are like a football team playing basketball. Or they're both basketball teams, but the Rams are playing with point guards and the Niners are playing with power forwards. No, the Niners are a football team playing basketball.

They're just running you over. George Kittle on Vaughn Miller. Yeah. Now, be careful, Big Cap, because we have a truther, we have a twirlike truther in the house, and of course it's Hank, our resident hater on all of our friends. I actually, this is because I... Do you already hate Kenny Pickett? This is because I care about our recurring guests.

I don't know if you guys remember, Vaughn Miller has been on this show multiple times, had some hilarious moments. Yeah, that's true. His dad, he called his dad. So they don't kiss? I'm confused by your statement. You're right, you're right. Actually, you're right.

And if you watch the video, I love George Kittle probably more than you guys. He won me money. I bet I'm just going to score the first touchdown on that hit. No, I love him so much. I told him some honest truths when I said national tight end days become too commercialized. It's like the Hallmark holiday now. We need to get back... That's his holiday and you're hating it.

Yeah, I know. No, I'm just saying. We honestly, we need... It's a great holiday. If you make a holiday, why wouldn't you commercialize it? That's the fucking point. I didn't love because it delutes the meaning of the holiday, Hank. I love him so much.

That's what holidays are. I love him. Do you love Valentine's Day? Do you think Valentine's Day is still a lot of fun when you can't get a reservation anywhere? No, I don't anymore. No, I don't. Damn, shit. Got you there.

I love George Kittle so much. I bet him shoes on Iowa, Wisconsin, and I thought for a second I wasn't going to make him pay, but then I'm going to make him pay. But that's how much I love him. Anyway, I watched the video, clicked the video, it's like George Kittle pancake block. And you can just see the fullback run full speed in Nevon Miller, and that's what tipped him over. I love George Kittle.

I think he would agree. I think we call them right now. No, his hand placement was perfect on the block. If you watch it, it is very clear that they're going back and forth, the... What do you call it? What's it called, Billy? The chip block? The chip block was very clearly what tipped Nevon Miller over.

He did not... No, no, the chip block pushed him off to the side, but are we going to take that out on college? It's one and a half, first one. For fulfilling his assignment now? No, I'm not. People are clowning Von Miller unnecessarily. It's not fair to a recurring guest.

No, that's 49ers football. They're doing the things... It's a great... They always do. It's a perfectly executed chip block. Okay, so yes. The 49ers always do this, where they have all their players, they're wide receivers, they're running backs, they're tight ends.

Everybody plays in that offense at times like they're an offensive lineman, and it's a beautiful thing to watch when the running game is working like that, and that's what we saw last night. The fullback helped, but this was like... George Kittle got his hands at the perfect place and drove him through Von Miller. 100%. I just think it'd be a lot different. I would speak differently about it if it was a one versus one. It was a one and a half, it was a one and a half, first one.

We'll settle this. Okay. But you know what? He's such a good guy, he's probably going to give credit to us. I'm 30 local time. I already texted him this morning because I need those shoes. I got to resell them. No, I'm just kidding.

Phone on. Here's your speaker. Sorry. Hey. Hello. Hey, we're taping part of my take right now. Hey, Greg. Hey, that was PFT.

We were talking about Monday Night Football and Hank is taking credit away from the Von Miller block. He's saying it was more the fullback than you. Well, it was Monday Night. That means it's Monday Night Raw, so we were just out there tag teaming. Thank you. Okay. Thank you.

So you're going to give, but would you say when we pop in the film, that was also a perfect block from you? I agree with that. Yeah, I'll take that. Okay. Wasn't your hand placement perfect on that block? My outside hand was a little outside, but if you keep your feet running and moving vertically, they're not going to call holding.

Last question. If you played a game of pick up basketball tomorrow and we gave you 10 fouls and then you're fouled out, how quickly would you foul out? 10 possessions. Okay. Perfect. All right. Thank you.

All right. Love you. Goodbye. See you guys. We both, we're all right. Everyone's right. Good job. That's some analysis.

You don't get it. We're out. Never been wrong. Damn. Never been owned online. Nope. All right. But yeah, I think the Rams have a real problem.

I don't know. I've been the person who has talked the most about Matt Staffer's legacy and the numbers that he's going to amass, but Matt Stafford, he, and it sucks for the Lions because they keep getting ricochet shots, but when he plays poorly, it's Lions Matt Stafford. And you had the bonus of him running five yards past the line of scrimmage last night, strafing like he's in Call of Duty and then trying to throw a pass. Well, he ran backwards. Yeah.

Well, he, he went across and then he was like backwards and he strafed. Yeah. He pulled a psych and tried to go backwards and then Philip Rivers was like, that is, it was perfect that Philip Rivers was on the man and cast at that point because that is a play that Philip Rivers would make. Yes. That's like right out of his playbook. Uh, yeah.

I don't know. Matt Stafford might be, he didn't look healthy last night. Oh, you do that for him. Yeah. I think that I might be the first to do that. Nice. I mean, if you saw us throws though, he didn't look like the Matt Stafford that we know. Part of that is because they don't have Robert Woods anymore and Odell Beckham.

Every team's got injuries. Odell Beckham is not Robert Woods. Every team's got injuries. Odell Beckham does not deserve to play on a team without Robert Woods. If he knew that Robert Woods would not be on that team, Odell Beckham never would have signed that contract. I'm just saying, Odell, my point is we anointed the Rams very quickly because we love it.

We love the story. We love Matt Stafford. We love McVeigh. What can he do? He's unleashing. We love the fact that they dominated the box week three looking at what they've done. And the nice thing about the NFL is we get to prove it all because they play against the Packers in a week after their bye week.

But I do, I am officially moving the Rams off of a team that I feel strongly about that could go to the Super Bowl. Okay. So they might not go to the Super Bowl, but we also should have seen this coming a little bit because this happens, I feel like every year, like Kyle Shanahan, if there's one coach that he owns, it's Sean McVeigh. So the Niners stink at home. This is the Titans lost too.

They haven't. Yeah, but Kyle Shanahan has not won a game at home in the last, I think two, I think he's 0-8. It was 0-8 in the last eight. In the last eight, with the exception of when he plays Sean McVeigh at home and he's 2-0. But yeah. At that point, I just think, I think that it's, we can't overreact the other way and be like, the Rams stink, throw them out of here.

They're awful. No, no, no. We're going to see them play. Wait. They don't stink. But what I'm saying is, this is not just last night. It's the Titans game too. The Titans did the same thing to them.

And then I looked back and I was like, why do I keep thinking the Rams are a Super Bowl contender? And then I looked at their schedule and I'm like, what have they done besides that week three win that shows me that they're an elite team? And you're right. There's a lot of teams that can beat, you know, it's any given Sunday. But I think the Cowboys and the Packers and the NFC I feel confident about. And I throw in the Bucks just because you never count on Tom Brady.

And the NFC, I would say the Titans, the Ravens and the Patriots. And if you want to throw in the Chiefs, oh yeah, the Bills, we keep forgetting about the Bills. They lost to the Jaguars. It kills me. We're just doing a bit with the Bills right now. But I think I'm, I am officially taking the Rams out of my feel confident I could see a world where they get to the Super Bowl.

Because they're, they're soft. They are. The Rams are soft. They're, they're a basketball team playing football. They know all their names. And they'll be, yeah, they'll be able, every, every like five years we need to have a reminder in our brains that whatever coach is now starting to put together dream team like situations, just assembling all the good old players like it's fantasy football.

We just need to remind ourselves that as good as it looks sometimes, that it's not actually a good way to build a team for the long term. No, no. There's never been a team that's had like a prolonged to like a successful, you know, three or four seasons based off just signing every free agent and collecting everybody else. What are you going to say Hank? I'm not a math guy or a nerd, but the odds, you know, there's never a home team Super

Bowl until last year. The odds of it happening two years in a row have to be pretty, pretty fucking high. Zero. There's zero. No, I'm saying the odds. I'm saying the odds of it happening two years in a row have to be crazy. Yeah. Yeah.

It's zero because it's never happened. Right. Two years back to back. Yeah. No, that's how it is. If something's never happened, it will never happen. Yeah. Zero percent.

That's how we do all of our gambling. Got it. Yeah. And yeah, I know the overreacting, but I'm I'm taking them away from my top three teams in the NFC because we've just thrown them in cardinals. Cardinals are better than the Rams right now. They've dealt with a bunch of injuries. Let's play a game called who's harder because we've already established that the Rams are

soft. Yeah. At times the Cardinals kind of have that softish vibe to them sometimes, but they can kind of on the ball sometimes the Cardinals harder. I think the Cardinals are harder than the Rams. I think they are too. I would say I would say that the Seahawks might be harder than the Rams. Yeah.

They might be. You're right. They might be the softest team in the West. The Buccaneers harder, harder, harder, absolutely. When their defense is playing like their defense has a shitload of injuries. But I just think of what they did to the Chiefs and like how hard they hit everyone and their team when they're playing, when their defense is clicking, their team where I start to like actually worry about the other team's health.

Saints. The Saints are harder than absolutely. The Saints are no longer. The Saints used to be the soft team of like the soft, good team of the NFL. That is completely thrown out the window. They're hard as fuck. Yeah. I think the Giants are harder than the Rams.

Yes. Yes. Easily. So who's softer? Texans. Texans soft. Well, I'm just talking strictly NFC teams. Okay.

Out of all the good NFC teams. I think they're the softest. They're the softest. Yeah. Yes. Mystery solved. All right. Let's talk to them.

Oh, we also had speaking to the Cowboys, the Monkey Butt game. We knew, we called it that Mike McCarthy was going to get in his bag of tricks, passing around Monkey Butt. It was Red Ass Week. Yeah. It was Red Ass. The guy is unbelievable. So he handed out like Calamine lotion and talcum powder.

Credit to Mike McCarthy. He's kind of realized that X's and O's and timeouts are not his thing, so motivation has to be. Yeah. No, he's doing a great job. He's pulling out all the stops. This is officially Mike McCarthy going like leaning in 100% to the stuff that Jerry Jones will never tell him how to do.

Mike McCarthy is essentially just PJ Fleck of the NFL now. Yeah. He's like, I'm going to build this program. Yeah. Guess what we're going to do? We're going to have a word of the day every day, and then I want somebody to do something of practice that reminds me of that word. Yes.

We're reaching just like motivational quotes on the wall, Mike McCarthy. Yeah. And Billy, you said, you had something that you were going to say about Monkey Butt and about Red Ass Week. What do you got? I remember what I told you about Red Ass Week. You were saying like something about the ingredients in the Monkey Butt formula. Oh, Monkey Butt's actually like great for chafing.

Oh, nice. Yeah. It's just like an actual great product. I just love that. Free ad? That's okay. And Billy's some Monkey Butt. Yeah.

I love that. I honestly don't know a Monkey Butt. It's like gold bond, right? Yeah. It's like a liquidish gold bond type thing. So the Cowboys got their ass kicked so bad by the Broncos that he declared that it was Red Ass Week around Dallas. He needs some Monkey Butt around here.

So he put up like pictures of baboons with their giant buttholes, those like red giant buttholes everywhere. And as I put this on your butt so it doesn't get shaved. Yeah. You got your butt smashed. It's next level football stuff. Uh-huh. Yeah.

And what happened? I'm fired up. They came out and what? They came out and killed the Falcons. Dude, supply chain issues. Joe Biden hasn't been providing enough watermelons in supermarkets. So Mike McArthur's like I can't smash anything, might as well get some Monkey Butt. Plan B.

Monkey Butt. Mm-hmm. Okay. I'm a full-on believer in the Cowboys now. Like, and you're... I've been for the majority of the year, like they are, when they're clicking, they have every piece that you need to play with the top teams. This is 100% what you need Mike McArthur to be doing to optimize success for your team

is keeping him away from all the actual play design and play calling. It's also, and now I'm going to knock on wood for the Cowboys fans out there because I don't want to jinx it. But it is nice because the Cowboys have always felt like the team that every single year it's like they had all the talent and then people got hurt. And now you're actually seeing all the talent on the field. Yeah. Like Michael Gallup coming back, which is crazy that they, you know, a team with this

many offensive weapons just adds Michael Gallup. They have everything. I also think it'd be fair to say that if Mike McArthur wins the Super Bowl in Dallas, you can pretty clearly point to the fact that Aaron Rodgers is a system quarterback and only won his national championship with Mike McArthur as his head coach. And that would be the first, wouldn't that be the first head coach to win with two teams? I'm pretty sure. Probably.

I think it's the first, it would be the first NFL head coach to win a Super Bowl with two different teams, two different teams. I don't quote me on that, but I'm pretty sure that's correct. Huh. Who would have, who would have won with two different teams? I'm either, it's either a very obvious one. I'm completely missing and I'm going to sound like a total fucking idiot or I am absolutely correct and I pulled this one out of my monkey.

But, pulled this one out of my monkey, but Jake looking, there are six coaches who have taken different teams, but one with two different teams. I don't think so. I think I'm correct. I don't think so. I think you just Google has a coach ever won a Super Bowl with two different teams. This is this article. And if I Google it, Jake, Vince Lombardi, no, who are the coaches?

The coach for Denver, Don Shula, John Fox, lost both. Yeah. Yeah. No. Mike Shanahan. No. The Parcels went two and one, but he wins. Nope.

Nope. Nope. Haven't done it. Haven't done it. I was so, so far, no coaches ever won a Super Bowl with two different franchises. There we go. So, Mike McCarthy would technically be the greatest coach of all time. Well, he would be a very good coach and it would also diminish Aaron Rodgers' legacies

when I'm getting here. Of course. Absolutely. Anything. And Skip Bayless would be so happy. Well, you know, I'll say, hot seat, cool throne, we'll talk about legacies and institutional chaos. I just, I want to see Skip Bayless just happy for once in his life.

Yeah. I want to see him just experience pure joy. Well, no Saturday night, date night with Ernestine when they sleep in the same bed. Yeah. Well, it's in the same room. Same room. They push the beds together. Yes.

All right. Let's do some college football talk. We're getting down to it. Two weeks left in the regular season, I think Cincinnati fans, you are now officially in, we will get totally, totally screwed zone because Oklahoma's loss was enormous for Cincinnati and the way it's shaping up, I think Cincinnati could, could actually do this. I think they could actually do this. I think there's enough losses out there that they could actually do this.

I still think they wouldn't get over a one loss power five team, but I think they could do it because I think there's enough losses to be spread around that they could actually get in. I don't think they haven't done anything on the field to actually make us be more confident. It's more than everyone else. Right. Even their wins haven't been that impressive. No, they haven't covered the spread in forever.

I still think it's going to be, so a big 10 team is going to get in. Yes. And we're going to have to wait. We're recording this right now before the rankings come out. Yes. But we can tell just from what they've done in the past that they do not like poor schools. They do not like non-power five schools. Correct.

I think the rankings will... They're looking for an excuse to keep Cincinnati out. The only way that Cincinnati would have a chance in my mind to get in is if they had just absolutely dominated for the last three weeks, which they haven't done. No. They've been crunching the numbers, looking at everything. They obviously need Oregon to lose, which could very well happen in Utah this weekend. They need Alabama to lose to Georgia, and they need basically Oklahoma and Oklahoma

State to play to a tie, because that's how the Big 12 is most likely going to work out, is if Oklahoma State beats Oklahoma, they then rematch in the Big 12 championship game. So Oklahoma State could run the table and maybe get in, but it would be against the same team. They won two games in a row, and people would probably look at it side-eye being like, well, what does it prove? It just proves that they're better than Oklahoma State twice. I still think what's going to end up happening, and it'll be very funny to see, is the SEC

championship game, Georgia, Alabama. It's like 40 to 38. Georgia wins, and they keep Alabama as a two-loss team in the top four. So the problem is... They might even put them at number three, so that they... Yeah, they couldn't put them at four. So that they wouldn't have them play each other again one week after the other. If there are multiple losses that go down the lines, I could see it happening.

If there's multiple one-loss teams in Cincinnati, I don't think they would do it. They've never put a two-loss team in the playoff, and that tricky spot of, do you put Alabama at four and make them rematch again? So I was having this debate. People were saying, well, Alabama's at two, so that if they lose, they would just drop to four. I actually think it's the reverse way. I think Alabama's at two, so if Georgia loses, they drop to three, not four, so you avoid

the rematch. That's how it's set up. That probably happens, too. But I also think that if Alabama loses in a very close game, they might just drop to number three. What I thought you were going to say, and which would be very, very funny in very college football... I think I know what you're about to say.

It would be Notre Dame, Sneaky, and over Cincinnati, which I would be the most wrong thing of all time, but also would be the funniest thing of all time. So it'd be hilarious, because obviously, Cincinnati beat Notre Dame in South Bend. But Notre Dame gets in because, again, they're not poor, and they get to hypothetically number four, they play Georgia and get beat by 60. That would be the most hilarious possible outcome. That's what I'm rooting for. Either way, we're going to have some fun last two weeks of the college football season.

I do think, I still am inclined to think they're going to try and find a way to fuck over Cincinnati, but looking at it, I think Cincinnati is almost like, just by the fact that everyone's going to lose to everyone, they're going to find a way. It's going to get to a point where the committee will, in a Wizard of Oz moment, they will have to either reveal themselves of being like, if everyone had four losses, Cincinnati still wouldn't get in, or they'll just have to let Cincinnati in. I don't think they have to reveal anything. Because if you have everyone catching two losses, and you still keep them out, then

everyone's like, what's going on? I think the committee is just going to be like, hey, we're a made up group of trolls that live in a room, and we can do whatever the fuck we want because we have no actual accountability. So here's your final four, you're going to talk about it, and you're going to enjoy it, America. I do think that in terms of the rankings that are going to be released later on tonight, I think that it's probably going to stay status quo in the top six, knowing that the committee

can just bump Michigan over Cincinnati if they do beat Ohio State. It might move them to five because they beat Penn State, but it's going to be essentially, it's going to be the same six, top six in whatever order, and Georgia also just keeps destroying everyone. Yeah. Unless it's a transparent formula, they're not going to, they never have to actually explain themselves about anything. They can come up with whatever stat that they have to justify the order that they want to

put these schools in anyways. Yes. I'm officially done ever thinking that anyone can score on Georgia. That first drive by Tennessee, they should put that in like, they should put it in like the Hall of Fame at Tennessee. That first drive was fantastic. And then- We've got a blueprint, big cat.

Yeah. All you have to do is, you have to play the entire game, like they played that first drive and most of the first quarter was not bad for Tennessee, but there's just no way that you can keep up with that Alabama defense for that long. Tennessee, I would file Tennessee under a team that is now competent at a lot of things, which is a good step in the right direction. Where like they're, they can, there was no moments in that game where it was like, oh my God, what is Tennessee doing?

It was just Georgia was better. Yeah. For Tennessee fans, you have a great off season ahead of you. You have an off season of actual anticipation because you've got a lot of stuff that you've built up right now. So you can look forward to next season as that's our year, if we're actually going to be good. Yes.

Also just going to throw out one last thing. Just throwing it out there, Michigan beating Ohio State and then Wisconsin beating Michigan, the big 10 championship game, the maximum cast. And you probably got to let Wisconsin in. And Notre Dame. All right. Should we do hot seat? Cool.

Throw any other college football? Notes. Yeah. Justice for UTSA. Yeah. I've had it in my top 10 the last three weeks. They're getting boned. I think UTSA needs to be, just put them in the top 10.

You can not ever think to include them in the final four in the playoff when it comes down to it, but just let people that went to school at UTSA look at their logo on television for a while. Can you imagine if you're, if you're a UTSA alum, when is the last time you get to see your full logo prominently displayed on ESPN? Probably never. I heard that the committee is keeping them out of the top 10 because a certain grad refuses to get creamed.

That's what I heard. Michelle Beetle. That's what I heard. That's all I heard. So maybe shave the beard chaps. Also UTSA, we often talk about watching one game and being like, oh my God, this guy is incredible and then sticking with it forever. UTSA, number four on UTSA, their wide receiver is Calvin Johnson.

And now obviously he's not, but when he played against UTEP and I watched that entire game, the whole time I was like, this guy is unstoppable. He's incredible. How is he not a top five pick? Put them in the top 10 committee. Put them in the top 10. Ole Miss. Lane Kiffin just is a fucking maniac, isn't he?

Dude, I'm so, I love Lane Kiffin, but God damn it, man. Everyone has to explain to him that it is okay every now and then to kick a field goal. No, no. Lane is just like, fuck it. Seven is more than three, big cat. Look it up. Every time. Every time.

There was that, in that fourth quarter, they should have been up by two scores and they did a fake field goal after also passing up a field goal from like the five yard line. It's just basic math that like, hey man, you don't have, and again, I think it also is demoralizing for your defense. I think it's demoralizing for your team when you fail on fourth downs repeatedly and you have to drop back out there and be like, fuck, well, we could have had three points. Not every time you got to kick a field goal, but he's gone all the way to the other end where he's allergic to kicking field goals.

Yeah. It's fun to watch sometimes, but it's also very confusing because when I'm watching sometimes Lane Kiffin makes me feel like I'm really dumb, that I actually don't know how football math works. But he actually has learned so much about football math that he's chosen to forget all that. Yes. That's when you know that you master something.

Yes. All right. Let's do Hot Seat Cool Throne. Hank, you want to start with Hot Seat Cool Throne? Yeah, my Hot Seat is Danny Ricardo, slash everyone in the F1. It's coming down to it. Three races left. It is coming down to it.

Push, push. Push, push. Great race on Sunday by Lewis. Can't wait to watch it on Netflix. I really enjoy, yeah, I don't watch races either, but I like to go into the Instagram comment section of official F1 and just the people get really upset hating ReSapp and hating Lewis Hamilton. It's very, very funny.

Passionate. Yeah, very passionate. But we released our Mugsy Grand Prix video. Yeah. It came out yesterday, so it's out now on part of my YouTube. We raced. We did a race, me, you, and PFT racing in recliners. Do you think, what do you think Danny Ricardo would say about the fact that you just cheated?

Oh, spoiler. Well, that's, I mean, that's, I was looking for an advantage. I didn't cheat, but I did have the best, I did have the best driving. That was like, that was, that was, that was a non-driving part aspect. Yeah. Oh, skipping a lap? Well, you cheated off the bat. You literally cheated.

They said not to pump into people and you literally started by ramming your car directly into mine, spinning me out. They turned to me and said, are you going to try to run me off the road to start? And I said, yes. After they had a safety meeting where they're like, make sure one will put a knot, run into each other. At the safety meeting, at the safety meeting, we all agreed not to run into each other. But that's not a rule.

That was us agreeing not to do it. In front of the safety guy, I was going to run into Hank, if Big Cat didn't, Big Cat took him out. I see daylight. I push. And also, I never said a lie. I said, in front of the safety guys, because we had to do it so we get in the car, they were freaking out.

That was so stupid how, like, anal they were. Hank looked at me before the race, he said, are you going to try to ram me at the start? And I said, yes, I am. And then I did. Even if you lied to him, that's not cheating. But, but I was very honest. I was very honest. There's a difference between lying and cheating.

We'll get to Dan Orlowski later. Absolute dirtbag move anyway, but my driving was so superior that I came all the way back. I had some trouble after that, which, you know, I was forced to look for any edge I could get. That's besides the point. Including subtracting laps. Did we take that four years ago? It seals like it.

It was hot out. It was hot. It was very hot. I was sweating my sack off. Yeah. Either way, drive, move the day, drive the day, not, you know, make your own, make your own decision. But that's just a fact.

Okay. Okay. So go watch that video now. My cool throne. Oh boy. What the fuck? I don't have anything written down. I forget.

Okay. Okay. Throw me an extra one. I'm an extra one. Throw me something. I'm an extra one. NFTs. Billy's got his NFTs.

He's releasing as an experiment. Yes. That actually was what I had. NFTs. Believe it. NFTs are dope. African Bullfrog. It was an experiment.

Yeah. I don't, I didn't want to plug that. Right. You've ruined the experiment. Oh really? Yeah. Cause it was like, it was like a joke. No, don't worry.

So the 2016. I want people to pay me money as a joke. The 2016 part of my take NFT collection is coming out soon. Yes. So you have your personal NFTs as an experiment. The personal NFTs. No, it's a bit. We're supposed to scale.

It's a bit. I'm trying to see how well. How much money you can take from our listeners. Not, that's why I was. It's an experiment. It's an experiment. It's a test. It's a tribulation proof.

Marshall Henderson. Marshall Henderson. He's presenting an investment opportunity. I like this art. I already phrased it was so funny. It is art. This is an experiment. I like it.

The money is real that you're going to have to pay for it. I'm experimenting. But the idea is an experiment. I'm experimenting with light fraud. Yeah. Okay. It's not fraud. It's art.

I'm selling a little art. I'm dabbling in art. Let's do an experiment. How many of our listeners can mail us a hundred dollar bill? It's an experiment. All right. Good cool throne. Thank you.

This happened the last week. I don't remember mine. Okay. Soon enough. PFT. My hot seat is my own investments. Oh. And I'm not talking.

No, I'm not talking about fraud. I would never buy a frog. I'm talking about my financial stake that I own in the Green Bay Packers. Yes. Number one, shares are being diluted today. They're selling, I think, 300,000 shares of them for 300 bucks. Again, that's not fraud. Yep.

And also, not only are they being diluted, but there's apparently fine print on them now that says, by buying these, you're not allowed to criticize Roger Goodell, the NFL, or any of the teams in the NFL. And the punishment is up to a $500,000 fine. Yes. Yes. Now, I don't think I've ever criticized Roger Goodell or any teams in the NFL. Is that real?

If it says it on the thing, I know that if you buy a shareholder agreement, technically Roger Goodell, like if you bought it and committed a crime, Roger Goodell could find you $500,000. Yeah, personally. Yeah. Roger Goodell can fuck your wife. I also, if you own a share of stock in the Green Bay Packers. The Packers stock, which I like to make fun of, it's now been ruined because the man who

shall not be named wrote an article about how these stocks mean nothing and they don't actually gain any money, the man obviously being Darren Ravel, he for a brief moment made me actually side with the Packers. No, because I was like, we like to make fun of Packers fans, but I would say 99.9% of Packers fans who buy the stock know it doesn't actually mean anything or any chance of increasing in value. It's just to feel a part of a team. Ravel had to explain that and tell them how it was actually a bad financial decision.

You've ruined it for everyone else. You fucking nerd. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not going to go selling my personal share of the stock anytime soon because stocks always go up and I feel like, but I did short it today. I shorted the stock because of those reasons and also because those motherfuckers cut Blake Bortles. Yes.

They released him yesterday and it's bullshit. They used him. They used his body. They used his brain. They used his playbook that he brought over from the Seahawks, a curse on the Green Bay Packers. Yes. Your cool throne.

My cool throne. Let's see. I was going to drop Mike McCarthy on you guys, but instead, I'll just say cool throne is Hank Spear time. NFTs. NFTs. Billy's doing an experiment. Cool throne is Hank's Spare Time because Tom Brady has his Man in the Arena show coming

out. Oh. And a new Halo dropped. I forgot we should have mentioned that to Kittle. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So not only is there the Man in the Arena, the show, but there's also a post show with like Teddy Bruce talking about the show they just watched.

A lot of show. And then there's a post post show talking about the post show. And then there's also a podcast about the show that's coming out. So Hank is Hank is book solid. Man. Do you guys want to do recaps Wednesday or Friday? Yeah. Right after succession.

We're waiting for a succession recap. People talking a room. That's my succession recap. The deal almost gets made. Then it doesn't tune in next week. I haven't even seen this in this week's podcast. That's every single week. Kittle is sober, but he's acting like he's fucked up.

Let's stand. What will the shareholders think about this? A really nice house or conference room and almost get the deal done. That's also a succession recap. They wear a lot of black Tony Romo style plain baseball caps in this one. For the 10th episode in a row, Shiv thinks that her dad actually takes her seriously. Logan uses the F word. Oh, man.

Actually, my cool throne is the Washington Bullets because they're in first place. Oh, no. I don't care about the Washington Bullets overall first place in the East. If the season ended today, they would be the one seat in the Eastern Conference. They're pretty good. They beat the bags. The bulls are too. Yeah.

Bulls are too. Bulls just wax the fucking Lakers as a rule and crew. So crew. So got a sick fucking video for you. Yeah. Speaking of the last night was was a perfect encapsulation of how LeBron is just. An absolute fraud. He, the story came out that the Lakers basically like asked Caruso to take less money because

they had to pay the luxury tax, which is a crazy ass to ask a player. No. Why would you ever do that when you're just trying to make as much money as you can? You don't give a fuck about the team being in sour cat problems. But LeBron is the GM. Everyone knows this. It's true. He could easily have been like, we need Caruso.

We need Caruso. We need Caruso. Didn't. And then it's all over. I'm like hugging them. Social media. Like, love you, bro. Maybe he's just happy that Caruso is getting paid more money.

I guess. Bulls are good. Caruso, I love Caruso. Say what you want about Lakers. I'm a big baller. I'm a big baller. I'm an ironically become a huge big baller. I've been on the ball train since the beginning.

That's actually. But I never thought I would be a huge Lonzo ball fan. I followed Kuzma closely because he was best friends with Lonzo when they were rookies and he was like funny. Like he's a very, he's, he's fun to root for. He's kind of a clown, but he's like, he's got that irrational confidence you need if you're going to be a superstar and he's kind of playing like that. Yeah.

You need the confidence. Confidence comes first. Then the skill comes second. Yes. If the playoffs started today, Bull, Wizards, one seed, Bulls, two seed. Wow. Who would have thought Celtics would be the out of the playoffs? No, they play the playing game.

No, no, the playing game. Yeah. The nine seed, right? They would play the 10th. They would play the 10th seed. They're the nine. Then they would play the eighth seed. Okay.

God damn it. That shit makes me so mad. Yeah, but the Bulls. Just let everyone in the play. I've said that I don't care about the Bulls, but I reserve all rights to become a massive hypocrite in case they finish in the top four. I care very much about the Bulls. It's very fun to watch them, although West Coast basketball I can't stay up for.

I just can't. I watched the first quarter last night and I went to sleep. Speaking of, I'll do my cool throne first, the Bucks, who are outside of the playoffs right now, and the real cool throne is the rest of the league because Giannis is already planting the seeds to maybe leave Milwaukee. What do you do? He said in his GQ article, he said, one challenge was to bring a championship here and we did. It was very hard, but we did.

Very, very hard. I just love challenges. What's the next challenge? The next challenge might not be here. Me and my family chose to stay in the city that we all love and is taking care of us for now. In two years, that might change. I'm being totally honest with you.

I mean, winning a championship for the Milwaukee Bucks is a pretty fucking big challenge. It counts as two ranks. Yeah, two ranks. If he could win a championship, an NBA championship for the New Zealand breakers, that would be much more difficult. This is a cool throne for everyone who is a fan of off-season NBA more than regular season NBA. You got your wish, Giannis might become a free agent or demand a trade.

Where else would he go that would be more of a challenge than Milwaukee? LA, trying to play with LeBron. Yeah, trying to coexist. Yeah, with LeBron and that shining star that's always on him because it has to be on him. All right, my hot seat is Duke. Duke, institutional chaos, Duke. If you missed the report, Coach K's grandson, who's on the team, nepotism much, and their best player, would you say it's their best player?

Yes, Paloban Carroll. Their best player, got DWIs, well, I don't even know when it was. Last night, night before? I think it was Sunday morning, so Saturday night. And Coach K kept the lid on this for, he was putting pressure on the police department sounds like for the last couple of days. Coach K should retire right now. If he had any backbone and stood for anything that he says that he stands for, you can't

have this. Or at the very least, remove the letters D, U, and I from his grandson's Duke University sweatshirt. Yes. Removing bias for a second here, big cat, because I just want to, you know, since this is this situation will apply to any person who gets in any type of driving trouble going forward. Would you not say that this is a possible coaching moment that he could use to help these players

grow as humans? I do think it's a coaching moment. He should say, guys, I've failed you. I'm retiring right now. Got it. That would be a great coaching. Is that an all-coach? Any time one of their players gets in trouble driving or off the court, they should just

retire. Well, especially they're under 21, college kids should go to college to do college, not to drink. They're under 21, driving a vehicle, disgusting. I would also take, I told you this before the show, Hank, I would also take Coach K if he doesn't want to go to jail or retire. If he wanted to give his grandson to Pete Godet, like he did all those losses in 1995, I would take that as well.

If he literally changed legally, Pete Godet became his grandson, the DUI grandson's grandfather. I was going to say, like, DWI. I thought it was DUI. It's DWI. What's the difference? No idea. Under? Wow.

It was point, he was 0.08, but he's under 21. So wait, is his grandson, or his minutes per game higher than his blood alcohol? Let's find out. I'd say probably, no. Probably not. All I'm saying, Becquette, is I think that if you call yourself a major college basketball program, you shouldn't have any sort of motor vehicle incidents, and you certainly shouldn't have any nepotism on your team.

I agree. And you know what? Let me just say this. Maybe the athletic department will come down on this kid. Maybe. Maybe. The athletic department. Also Coach K?

Oh no, Coach K's daughter, the grandson's mom. Okay. Okay. So maybe she'll come down. Do you think she should maybe give him a spank on the butt? Yeah, dude, that's probably much worse. Here's what I was saying. Did he slap the ground before he walked on the line?

People actually, there was a Duke fan who was like, this is ticky tack, he was 0.08. So they have Gardner Webb, Lafayette, and the Citadel. Oh, that's great. And then Gonzago, Ohio State. Yeah, so we're at it. Yeah, three game suspension. Yeah, three game suspension. I'm sure.

If it happens three games from now, he would be suspended for Gonzaga. Actually, we should do a reverse suspension. Everyone knows TWIs equals three games. It should be a reverse suspension. The grandson should have to play 40 minutes against Gonzaga. Is that a follow? Yeah, that would be funny. Just watch him out there.

It's both of them. Either way, I'm disgusted. How do you get a TWI if you're not driving? Riddle me that. So it's an aiding, abetting DUI. So if you're a passenger in North Carolina, I think somebody's driving under the influence who is under the age of 21, you both get in trouble for it, especially if it's your car.

So if they're driving your car, then it's like you gave them the keys. I just assume they're so young and so drunk that one of them was doing the pedals and one of them was doing the wheel. I think it's just good. That's good teamwork. They're aiding and abetting each other 24 hours a day, whether it be in a car while you're hammered or on the basketball court. Go ahead, Billy.

The one time I heard about two people in the same car gang in DWI, they tried to switch seats. Do you think the grandson said, do you know who my grandfather is? So hypothetically? Yeah. You should never drink and drive them. It's bad. He should be punished for it.

But I would like to know where this cop went to school. Where did he, where did they, where did he get arrested? Durham. Durham? Oh. UNC grad. Shout out. You got to ask the question.

I don't know. I, for one, respect our police officer to sank. Me too. You should never drink and drive. Step down. Right now. Institutional chaos. Before someone gets hurt, really, step down.

What a gift that the grandson gave him for his retirement tour. Beautiful. Here you go. Pop, pop. What do you think he calls him? Pop, pop. Just call him coach. He calls him pop up.

He's definitely been called coach since he was a baby. Just like, this is what my son coach. He just always tells everybody what to do. You think coach K like met with the police officers afterwards? It was like, hey, I just want to say, like, thank you. You did a great job. And I leaned in and then really gave them a piece of his mind, but it was like under the auspice of like, I want to teach you how to be a leader in this community.

Good for Ben Chereau that he has coach K's grandson to lead all the headlines. Like that, that's the one spin zone for him. True. We can all make those jokes. All right. Also, if you're from Italy, you should be allowed to drink under 21 in the United States. Agreed. He was cultural.

This is on coach K's family. And it's Italian discrimination, the most discriminated class in America. The entire Shashevsky family should take credit for this. Yes. They're Polish. Nobody discriminates against Pollocks. Never. No jokes.

Michael Savarino, he played four minutes against Gardner Webb, or did he ever had last? Was that the people we did the? Yeah. The Polish jokes? Those are funny. I would never make them. Screen door on a sub. Yeah.

The Polish Navy has screened, tried to install a screen door on their submarine. They sent a rocket to the moon during the day. All right. Jake, Hatsi Cool Throne. Hatsi's the Mets. They lost Noah Cindergaard and the fan base doesn't seem too happy about it. Wait, they lost them? Like they can't find them?

Yeah. Missing. My friend isn't working. No, he's off to the Angels. Oh. Interesting. Jacob DeGram, of course, coming off the injury. Now Thor's gone and Mets fans are...

I'm sure they'll take this rationally. Exactly. My cool throne is Abu Dhabi. They're hosting two NBA pre-season games next season. Now, redemption for Fight Island, maybe. Put the court on the beach. Ooh. Also, Jake, pre-notification, because I'll want to bet on that, and it'll probably be

at a really random time. Okay. So make sure you mark that. Mid-October. I'll write it down. That's definitely going to be like a Tuesday. We're just walking around the office, like you take the Nets or the Nicks. I just like how Adam Silver is once again standing up for human rights.

He's the best commissioner we got. Thank you, Adam. Best commissioner we got. All right, Billy. My hot seat is Mack Jones. Mack Jones has sort of gotten the... Some people are calling him the Grayson Allen of the NFL, and to add to sort of his... Why?

Because he always gets DUIs? Well, because he's a tripper. He didn't. He did not. He was... He was... It's now coming out that Mack Jones was a child actor and child model, and just really sort of making everyone be like, yep, exactly.

I saw some of the pictures of Mack Jones. He doesn't not look like Billy Football as a child. Ah. You hate the one you look like. What's wrong with being a child actor? I'm just saying people are sort of... He's kind of almost like a Duke athlete, Grayson Allen type that may be sort of taking liberties that he shows on the football field.

Billy, can I give you a piece of advice real quick? We... The way that it's going with Mack Jones, right, like his career arc and how the Patriots look right now, we're going to have more than enough time to hate him. Let's not force it. Okay. It's going to come naturally because he's probably going to win like five Super Bowls with Bill Belichick.

So let's not like... The trivial stuff will look foolish when we hate him for winning five Super Bowls, we're like, remember we tried to hate him for being a child actor. It's going to come. It's going to come naturally. We have more than enough time where Hank is just shoving it down everyone's throat here. Other hot seat, Rex Ryan. He does not want to be associated with Robert Salah and then Robert Salah said, you know

where to find me if you have an issue with it. But you guys... Yeah, okay. He came. Thank you, Rex. So... I wasn't going to associate him at all. The...

Did he say something about it? Talk about irrational confidence, that guy. Yeah. Rex... Hank, the man has the highest score ever in terms of problem solving and logic in the state of Maryland. Uh, Stuart Finer, our good friend, Stu Finer, put it best. Shout out you fucking fat slobs, suck my wife's fucking down, just...

There it is. That's his message to Rex Ryan. I just think of every time that Rex Ryan comes up, but yeah, Rex Ryan basically made... No one was talking about him, then everyone was talking about him because he was talking about it being like, don't talk about me. Okay. I won't... I'll stop, Rex.

By the way, where do you go to get tested for that if you're just in Maryland? Do they have... Is there like a building that adults can go to? It was... I want to get tested for my logic and problem solving. Buddy Ryan definitely did that as like a dig on Rob. He was like, Rob was acting out and so he was like, Rex, here, fill out your name. Boom.

You're the best. Yeah. Just... He took him to a nondescript building, handed them a piece of paper, he printed up himself. Yes. I was like, wow, Rex, you're really smart, Rob. Yeah.

Our logic is incredible. Rob, you piece of shit. Fuck you. Uh, and you're cool, Throne? Uh, Jimbo Fisher's time in Texas A&M, he said we're going to recruit an unbelievable class this year, so I'm the dumbest human being on God's Earth to recruit all these guys to A&M so I can go across over there and go play against them. Okay.

So not leaving for LSU. All right, so, or maybe not leaving for LSU or put it through the college football translator, put it through the little thing, he's saying, LSU, you got to pay me a lot more than that. That's what he's saying. He's also saying... Oh, LSU, your first offer was $12 million. How about $15 million? He's also saying to every single kid that he's recruiting right now, you guys are awesome

players. I love you very much. Look how much I'm talking about you right now and how great you are. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going anywhere whatsoever, trust me. I'm staying here. Or... That's a nice hedge by him.

In the event that I do go, just letting you know, I still think that you're great. You can just transfer. Come to LSU. Yeah. Yes, because I have all this much more money now. Yep. All right, let's get to our interviews. We've got Brian Baumgartner, they say it right at that time.

Baumgartner. You'll find out. Okay, we'll find out. We'll have him from the office and then Kenny Pickett. Before we do that, better help. Go to betterhelp.com slash PMT for 10% off your first month. The best way to think about therapy is through a bunch of analogies like, hey, you get your car tuned up to prevent bigger issues down the road.

You get your annual checkups and you go to the gym to maintain physical wellness and prevent injury and disease. Well, how about you do that with your mental health? You got to go to therapy so that you can have routine maintenance on your mental and emotional help. Wellness to prevent bigger issues down the road. Therapy doesn't mean something's wrong with you. It means you're investing in yourself to keep your mind healthy and Barstool Sports agrees.

They're offering better help services to their employees as an added benefit to help take care of their overall well-being. Better help is customized online therapy that offers video phone and even live chat sessions with your therapist so you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. It's much more affordable than in-person therapy and you can start communicating with your therapist in under 48 hours. Why invest in everything else and not your mind? You got to invest in your mind.

The podcast is brought to you by BetterHelp and our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com. It's okay to not be okay. Go to betterhelp.com. B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com. Okay, we now welcome on a recurring guest, recurring in person. It's Brian Baumgartner. He's got a new book out.

It's called Welcome to Dunder Mifflin, The Ultimate Oral History of the Office. We're mid-conversations, so let's just pick it up. You are noticing how beautiful this studio is. Yes. No, for anyone who sees pictures or watches this place, it is as disappointing as you would expect it to be. Really, it's a very clean studio. Clean?

Yeah, no, like 20 hours a day. It's clean. We have a guest. We have Billy just come in here and fuck everything up, so it looks messy. It's like a bit that we do. We actually are very tidy people. We've learned through the years that if we try to clean ourselves up, then people will start taking us seriously.

That's a disaster. No, that's not your brand. Yeah, because if you walked in, are you doing the rounds today? Have you gone? Oh, I'm doing the rounds. Did you do Good Morning America? Today's show. Today's show.

Okay. Are those interchangeable? Yeah, they are. Okay, because I always ask. Yeah. I go for my life asking a guest. I typically am. But today I'm aware.

Okay, so the today's show, you did it. It's beautiful. It looks nice. It's clean. Yeah. And then you come in here and we get you to bring down your, you know, feelers like these guys. Are we even taping anything?

It's relaxed. Yeah. This is relaxed, though. I appreciate that. So just like a couple guys talking here, what's the biggest sex scandal in the history of the office? Like, you know, we're not. Yeah, like you, we're not even taping.

Yeah. This is just basically just. You could lock a room. On, on, on, on camera or off camera? Like one of both. Oh, well, no, the on camera. That's no. That's right.

Yeah. There was a cuckold, right? Yeah. Yeah. Andy was the cuckold. Yeah. Cuckold. He got cuck.

Yeah. He got cuck. Yeah. He got cuck. Yeah. He did for sure. Yeah. That would be, yeah, that would be it.

Who do you hate the most? On the show? Yeah. Off camera. Off camera? And this is just. Yeah. I mean, there's dip spit.

There's probably. Copy cops. Like probably. Yeah. Probably Correll. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

He's a diva. Just, he's no. Did anyone become a diva? No, that's the crazy thing. And I think actually, I don't know, is this like Barstool or something? I don't know. We were just a bunch of idiots, like unknown on the show. They're looking for unknown people, right?

And so we get on and even, people forget, like Correll, the little movie, 40 year old virgin, that wasn't until season two. So it was like, nobody was known. No one had that attitude. And I think it was all of us kind of like coming up together. Yeah. No, it would be like your brother or something, be like, what, shut up, you're not going to act like that.

Yeah. There was none of that. You guys all became more famous together. But what about at the end? Because the end, I've always wanted this about the office because one of my favorite shows of all time and most hardcore fans say all the end, you know, when Steve Correll leaves, I think actually there's some very funny moments when he left, after he left. But the ending of it, was it, it's time to go, this is good?

Or were there a lot of people who were like, why can't we just keep going? Really honestly, it really was like, it's time to be done. And here's why. Really a very specific reason, because there was conversation, we talk about this in the book, welcome to Dunder Mifflin, available at bookstores today. No, that, that it could have like, I called it ER, we could have ER'd it. Yes. Right?

Like Clooney Leaves, you bring in whoever came onto ER, I don't know. But like it went 20 years ER'd it. So it could have done that, like, you know, John Krasinski could have gone and, you know, become Jack Ryan or whatever and, and different people could have left. Some could have stayed. But Greg Daniels had an idea of the, of the end of the show from the very beginning, which was the documentary has to air. Right?

So this thing that they've been shooting, we've been shooting for nine years, has to eventually air. And once it airs, it's almost like a commentary on reality television actually, right? Because once you see yourself on television, everything changes. So the show couldn't really exist in the same form. Once everybody would have to be aware of how they were perceived, which we explore a little bit at the end of the show. So the idea, just to wrap up that point was basically we want as many of the original

people to be like, Mindy Kaling had gone to do the Mindy project and, and, and, and Stephen left, but most of the original people were there. And so to tell that story, those people had to be there to sort of see the ramifications of their idiocy over the years. So maybe watch some of them, if it had been extended, some of them probably would have become more diva-like than they even were because they're, like you said, they're seeing themselves on TV. That's right.

You don't act the same in front of a camera after you're already watching yourself on TV. Right. Unless you work for Barstool. Yes. And then you all just act like the idiots you are. Okay. None of these are on. Yeah.

Right. Yeah. So just as a shrine to him, no actual content is going out. Oh. Okay. I thought I'd seen some stuff, but maybe not. It would be funny if you did another season where it was post everyone realizing that their star is kind of like a real housewives when everyone just season two, everyone gets

divorced. Right. And they have this faith, this little bit of, you know, famous and they latch on to it. Right. That would actually be a very funny spin-off show of everyone being like, yeah, Kevin Malone NFTs and try it. That's right.

Yeah. So there's, I don't, I can't remember if we've ever talked about this before, but I try to avoid Reddit at all costs and going down the Reddit, the Reddit, the dark hole of Reddit. But there's apparently, and I've seen the chains that Kevin Malone is a secret genius. Have you heard this before? Yes. So, yes. Yes.

So the basis for the, and this gets into your point slightly, but the basis of this, when people pull evidence, like my new little glances to camera from early on and like, he's a gambler and how does he, and then he gets fired and suddenly he owns a bar. So that is an unerred storyline. How he has the bar. I'm going to fill you in on this. It's going to blow your mind. Okay.

Ready? So the idea is that once the documentary airs, Kevin Malone becomes the fan favorite of people watching. I have in my office at home, like my face as a cartoon and like Kevin rocks and all this stuff, right? So there became this movement of Kevin Malone being a fan favorite and partly based on my own experience in the world, I can't go into a bar and not be offered a drink. They want to have a drink with Kevin Malone.

So the storyline is shot, but not aired that Kevin Malone goes into bars, everybody wants to buy him a drink. There's a particular bar in Scranton, Pennsylvania that he goes in all the time and he has accumulated such a credit at that bar from people buying him drinks that he uses that as leverage to own the bar. I love it. That is a true written story that was shot and the finale was like an hour and 45 minutes already and they're like, all right, we have to cut that.

That's incredible. It still makes it, but that's it. I really was wondering like how, how did you end up owning that bar? You own poor Richard's, the place, the watering hole, everybody used to go and I do kind of subscribe to the Kevin Malone is, I don't, I don't think a secret genius. I think he is a genius. I think, I think he's a savant because yes, he was a terrible accountant, but he was also a great gambler at times when he came to like doing certain percentages with cards.

Right. He can't be dumb and be a great poker player. So was it just that in your mind, Kevin Malone was that unengaged at work that he just didn't give a shit? In part, but also like there's a, there's a, there's the whole phrase is idiot savant, right? Here's the great, here's the greatest. I didn't hear, I didn't hear about this for years, right?

I think the idea of this with Kevin started the basketball episode. I played basketball. Those were, that was not edited. That was real live. That was actually one take two of me making, I don't know, 13, 15 feet of footers, three free throw line extended, but so that there were like weird skills that he had. Yeah. The poker series bracelet.

So here's the greatest insider writers joke of all time. They chose the writers, didn't even tell me. They chose Scrantnicity, a police cover band to be his band and specifically chose him to be the lead singer and drummer of this band. I didn't know this. I'm not that, I am not a musical genius, but apparently in the police there's the beat, but the singing occurs off of the beat from where the normal drum beat is. So you would have to be a musical savant to be able to play drums and sing at the same

time. At the same time. Yeah. He's just singing. The vocals were based around a sting who was playing the bass. That's incredible. So it'd be around, it'd be something that he could sing easily, not what, what's the same Copeland was playing on the drums.

I'd never thought about that, but you understand it. I love it. I didn't even know. But yes. So he was, he was also a musical savant. That's incredible. I mean, that's just a testament to people, you know, being diehard fans of the show and loving the show so much that they then watch it again and watch it again until they find

out some storyline that maybe is real, right, that you're saying might be real, right? They perceive it. I think it's great that they've got, it's kind of, it goes to show you what a well-crafted show it was overall, that the writers were having so much fun that they were thinking about these little extra jokes that they could put in there. Oh yeah. It really adds to the fullness of the show and makes everything else like, there's an entire world that they created for themselves.

So the book, how long did it take you to write this book? I don't know, should I say like 10 years? Yeah, say 10 years. Yeah, 10 years. No, I mean, it's been, it's been essentially two years since the beginning to today. I don't know when people are hearing this, but today. Today. No, tomorrow.

Today. Yesterday. Whatever. It's, it's freaking out. I actually just found out I signed like 7,000 books. We just sold out today. Oh, wow. Look, yes.

Okay. Breaking news. Like during the pandemic, like how we got King Lear, Shakespeare, the Black Flag. Now we got, welcome to Dunder Mifflin. Yeah. That's right. Honestly, this was, you know, the show was big when it was on, right? And there's fans who watch it.

It was, it was a rabid, kind of cult following though, right? Like, it wasn't like friends when it was out in terms of just like mass media production, whatever. And then the numbers started coming out about the streaming stuff. And I started walking into restaurants again and airports and going like, this feels different than it ever has. And the basic gist is, so this was two years ago, so seven years since we have filmed anything. It's the most watched show on television, right?

I was just heard the other day, people talk about Squid Game, Succession, all, more people are watching the office now. Now it's been eight years since we filmed anything than anything else on television. And for me, it was like, why? What the fuck happened? Like, how is it? Like, what, what happened? Like, how is this possible?

I'll tell you how it's tremendously rewatchable. Like it is. I watched it when the pandemic happened, I watched it again, full start to finish. And I still will pop, like it is the perfect show that, and I think a lot of TV watchers fall into this trap now, where you have anxiety of, what am I going to watch? What am I going to watch? Like, what do I want to invest two hours of my night into? And the office is like, well, let's put on the office and we'll figure out after one

episode. And then it becomes like 10 episodes you're watching the office. That's just what you're watching. Right. Well, let me ask you a question. Do you think does the office bring you comfort? Yes. Yeah, definitely.

Except for the volume of the intro song, which I think I taught you about that last time. Did you get to chat with anybody over at Netflix? No, I haven't. You were like three bars? It's so loud. The rest of it's great though. Yeah, it does.

It's like Big Cat said, it reduces anxiety watching it. It also, I think it brings comfort now, a little less now because this job at Barstool is, you know, for the most part a joke, we have a lot of fun all the time. But I think a lot of people, I remember when I first watched it, I was in college still and I remember being like, I wish I could just find a job where it seems like people have fun. You know what I mean? And obviously, you guys, you know, it's a TV show, but I think there is that comfort

to it too. To like making corporate America or the job that you might not love, trivializing it and being like, look, you can have fun. So I think that's probably where the comfort, some of the comfort comes from. I think so too. And you know, not to go too, too deep, but I think that there's also like, there's like the surface thing, right? Which is like, Michael Scott says horribly inappropriate things.

There can be some snideness there. It's kind of subversive in a way, which I think is why partially it appeals to younger people, that sort of subversive thing. But I think also, and this is part of reading the book and talking to, I talked to 44 people and recorded over 100 hours of interviews with people about this. But one of the things I think is that in the end, it's kind of about love and creating a family, right? And whether it's the Barstool family or whatever it is, and that search for people when they're

going through a heart. And I asked you that question because this is what, when I'm out and about, and people will not just come up to me to like say it randomly, but they have this like intense need to tell me about a really bad time in their life that they watched the show and it made them feel better. And I think in the end, that feeling of love, I don't know if love is the right word, but like kindness, family, community, togetherness and like being in an office together and like caring about your coworkers.

Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. It didn't matter which character it was, but there would always be a time when when somebody would have something serious going on in their life and there would be jokes all around written around the episode, but like in the storyline for Kevin, when he was worried about the skin cancer and he was waiting to get the call back. There's ridiculous stuff going on. You're like at the ice skating rink, Michael Scott's just like, you know, flying around

out there, acting like a fool. But then you see there's always like a few shots of everybody rallying around that person, making sure they're okay. It happened with every character, even the characters that were probably the least likable to their coworkers, like Dwight, there were times when people like lined up behind him. Right, like Tam and Dwight, that relationship between the two of them, weirdly, that they bonded. Yeah, no, totally.

I think it's a lot about just understanding that even if you're in a very boring job where your job is to literally sell paper and count paper, the most boring thing that you can possibly sell probably, there's still like, there's a reason why it can you can still have moments of joy and you can find family and relationships inside that office. Yeah, yeah. I think everyone goes through that. Yes, absolutely. So in the book, you talk about how every morning you guys had to method act your job.

Yeah. So this is actually, and it was one of those things where someone, I started talking to people, someone reminded me and I was like, oh yeah, because it had been a really long time. But this is like, think about, you know, network monolith, corporation, money, bottom line. So the first season, right, we would all show up. So having to show up to work earlier than we would ever be used on camera. Everybody get ready.

And then at, say, 7 a.m. generally, we would go into the office and the cameras would just walk around for 30 minutes and film us. And you just were like, just like we were working, fake work, fake phone calls, going to the copier, doing copies, like a lot of the, a lot of the images actually in the credit. So like Kevin on the adding machine and Dwight with the shredder and like the copier going and stuff like that. We're kind of pulled and used, but like very, not 30 minutes a day. And I had this conversation with Ken Quapas who directed the pilot and he said, look,

so many pilots, first shows, everybody's trying to get to know each other. We're trying to introduce this whole story and everything's happening and it feels new. And he was like, this has to feel like everyone has been working here for decades or at least a decade or whatever, that this is where you, that your chair has your body imprint in it already. Right. There's no, where is the phone? There's no newness.

And so that, like we would just work truly, like fake sales calls, passing notes, passing papers, walking through. And I think just that time and all of us, not just for that, but all the other time. I mean, this is a hugely unique thing, right? Which was, there were, I'm not going to count right now and we know I can't, 12 actors that were in that main bullpen of the office in there all the time. There's no fake walls. Right.

They would shut the doors. There'd be two camera guys, one sound guy and all of us in the room. So like in terms of, you know, improving off of each other, working off each other, learning from each other, different skill sets. Oh, if I'd say this to him, this is a layup, like all of that stuff happened because we were just together. Right. All the time.

That's awesome. I also have to wonder how that would have gone if you had all been established actors at the start of the show and the director's like, Hey, can you come in an extra, you know, two, three hours early and just hang out and pretend that you're in an office for a while? I wonder the fact that you guys were all kind of new and starting something together if you were like more receptive to doing that. Probably.

Yeah. I mean, probably because everybody was on board. There was no like, I don't, I truly don't remember any questioning or like, like, oh, you know, or, or anybody's saying like, I don't want to do that or nothing, nothing like that. Yeah. Did Ricky Gervais ever show up after, you know, I know he's an executive producer in certain times.

Was he actually involved in the creation of any storylines or anything like that? So he, I mean, he made, he made an appearance on the show as an actor. He would show up occasionally. He and Ricky wrote an episode. This is like scratching the cobwebs of my brain. I think it was the convict episode, which is shortly after the, you know, Andy Bernard and they came over and we were the eliminating actors one by one. Yes.

The branches merged. So yeah, I mean, they were around some. Stephen Merchant ended up directing one or two as well, but, but largely no. And they actually, for the book, I interviewed Stephen Merchant and he talked about, he thought, what was happening at this period of time is that British shows that were brought over were all failing, right? They were all, all failing. And Stephen said he thought the smartest thing that he and Ricky did was leave it alone.

Like we shouldn't pretend to know the cultural references that are funny or whatever in the United States. Like let's let them do it. And they feel like them staying out of it actually helped. Make it more purely America. Yeah, I believe that. All right. So I know you got to do a couple other interviews back here in the closet.

Like what is that? Do you hear that banging? Oh yeah. That's the pipes. Yeah. There's air in the pipes. Oh, okay. It's sad to, again, you're, you know, we haven't even turned on the cameras on the pipes.

Yeah. All right. So my last question, you go to Roback, R-H-O-B-A-C-K, use code PFT for 20% off your first purchase, Q-Zips, Polos, everything at Roback.com. Best stuff out there. Do you think Aaron Rodgers should be in jail or prison for holding a super spreader event every Sunday and willfully lying to the public about his vaccination status, thoughts? And should he have to strip his Super Bowl away?

Oh, strip his Super Bowl away from 2010? Yes. 11? Yeah, probably. Okay, good. All right, so we're on the same page. Would you like, as a Packers, are you an owner as well or just a fan? I am just a fan.

You could buy some stock today. Is it today? Yeah, today. Want me to buy you a share? Yes, buy me a share right now. Yeah. Right now. Right now.

I'll buy you a share if you disavow the Packers for cutting Blake portals. Why did you do that to Blake? He's our friend. I like Blake. Yeah. I know Blake. I like Blake. No, you don't.

Yeah, I do. I don't. I want to talk about the packers. Listen to me. I'm worried. Worried about what? So Aaron Rodgers just tortured me. Yeah.

No, I know. And I'm worried. They're great, by the way, the Bears. They're so good. They're so fun to watch. Listen, Justin Fields vs. Jordan Love for the next twenty years. Sign me up for that. I'm worried.

I think the Packers are actually going to win the Super Bowl this year. I do too. I do too. You heard it here first. It's actually a lock. No, I saw I saw I'm a great gambler. Everyone knows my locks never lose. I want to know in game of the years this year That's not that good want to know you can't be better than one and oh game of the year How many five and oh it's significantly better than one of five game of the years. Oh

I'm gonna know Everybody has a game of the year every other week in their game of the year. No, I'm saying every other week What was your game of the year? It was a pit versus UNC last Thursday night? No, big deal easy winner took overtime and also like a month soon to show up at the perfect time for it to win But yes, okay, so I mean all my locks the Packers are a lock to win the Super Bowl I really like the way that they I mean I I believe You discount the game that Aaron missed which I know you can't do but if you if you set that aside Mm-hmm, and you acknowledge as I think now it's hard not to that the first game of the year was an aberration

Right, so you're setting aside the chiefs game You're setting aside the fact that Aaron Rodgers didn't get vaccinated and lied to everyone setting those things aside Yeah, and I'm saying that they have looked the best team in the NFL this year I'd agree their defense is just what sets them apart from old Packers teams like the defense is Super Bowl level at this point I saw and I would buy you a share of the stock. Unfortunately. It says that it's non-transferable, so if I buy it I can't then give it you can't give it to me. Yeah, once you're in blood in blood out You can't put it in my name. Nope. Nope. You're maybe there's a curse. They just don't want us now What else any other NFL? Actually, that would be a great story

I became an owner and they won the Super Bowl. That's a good story for who? For you personally great life. Yeah. Yeah, it's a great story for me Okay, all right. Let's do story time. You become an owner Aaron Rodgers gets hit by a bus. That's a great story for me Personally, it's really now you're pushing it. Well, I mean I wouldn't know my injuries I didn't tell you the injuries. Oh, what were your injuries? He can never walk again I Know I think the Packers are very very good this year I saw a staff that was like the last time the only times they've ever been top three in defense

And it was a list of all the times they've won the Super Bowl They won more than three. No, yeah, no, I'm saying top three in defense in that year, right? 2010-96 and then it was whenever, you know, one I mean those are fake Super Bowls anyway one and two or whatever Okay, yeah, no, they don't count. Yeah. Um, but yeah, they're very very good Yeah, I'm assume you're enjoying every moment of this season I I really really really am and in fact I posted the director was there. I had a Movie I had a Festival movie thing come out and I went to the this was the Arizona game

I went oh, I went to the red carpet and I took pictures and I said hello to everyone and then the screening happened And I went boop and walked back out That was next door. I appreciate that watch the game and then the game was over and I went in and did a Q&A I appreciate that so much. I feel like a lot of actors Kind of lose like there, you know, they're fans, but it's like not I want to watch every game fans Right, and I love that you're an every game fan. Then that was a big game. Yeah, and I and that was I mean Devonte out That was the yeah, it was an impressive great win impressive win Are you gonna go to Super Bowl in?

Los Angeles if the Packers are in it. Yes, okay, that's an easy there. Yeah, we'll see you if they If not, then I don't know then I mean they'll win. What the airmen doesn't lose nfc championship games shut up It's all I have It's all I have it's all I have oh the Bears are so good this year They're getting better. Okay. Are they during the hunt? No, are they getting better field is getting better That's all that I'm compartmentalizing the entire season. It's I'm jaded against him by the way. Why I'm jaded against him Why he doesn't know this and not really I'm fake jaded I grew up in Atlanta. Okay, so I'm a university of Georgia dog. Yeah former dog

He couldn't wait his turn. Oh, so you're gonna win the national championship and the Super Bowl this year Siggum look at that Whoa, and George is very good in the world series Yeah, but I can't take credit for that and I've had people now to say well you could take credit credit for that No, because I know I just know I mean like I can't enjoy it because I'm a huge baseball fan Yeah, and I get I get shit Well, I'll ask you your opinion about this a huge baseball fan I did theater for years and years traveled around TBS the Braves run TBS. I'm a braze found from it

I mean, I was hardcore Braves fan Then I moved to Southern, California and said I'm not leaving Southern, California and I and at that point This was like in between TBS and when you could watch every game on the planet now on the MLB thing I couldn't watch I couldn't watch the game I'm like what am I gonna go back my parents moved away from Atlanta my sister moves away. I'm like I can't Like what am I gonna do and I love baseball? First thing I did is I got tickets at Chavez ravine and I became a Dodgers fan

I just was like I want to go and I'm gonna invest in the team your team had a team. Yeah Yeah, I'm a what seem head. It's an expression love baseball giant baseball fan. Oh, yeah, but I'm a Dodgers guy now I mean, yeah, you can't take credit. That's fair. Yeah, so I can't take credit for the Braves Yeah, but you are gonna credit that we're gonna win the bull the Bulldogs You're gonna win and the Packers are gonna win. You also don't you get to wear the same G on everything you Isn't that work out? Yeah, our producer Bubba who's colorblind wouldn't know which team which day you don't know what this is You wouldn't know which day of the week. It was depending on what hat you're wearing It's gray. They're always great

All right, well Brian, thank you so much. We appreciate everyone go by welcome to Dunder Mifflin the ultimate oral history of the office We love the show. This is like a perfect holiday present. It is No intro well two things one I'll tell you this because I think this is what is cool about actual books We were like books, but yeah, that's what we say we went through I went through thousands and thousands of pictures that were like in the basement collecting Picture book and so there are there are over a hundred pictures in the book that have never been seen anywhere before You should have said that from the start. Yeah, it's a picture book pictures. There's a color. It's a picture book guys You like pictures it also has I'll say this right now

Very big text the pages you can read a lot of pages quickly I'm just gonna say right now. That is the perfect bathroom book. Mm-hmm bathroom book that this book was meant to be read in the bathroom I love it. Yeah, thank you as a compliment. Yes. Thank you. That actually is the only place that I read. Yes. Thank you Yeah, so it's the highest of compliments. Yes, there it is. Go buy it though. Thank you. You're always welcome back I thank you. It's nice to be in here now I'll I'll have better expectations next time about what my surroundings will be I think actually the nice part about doing this car wash here is the studios get cleaner and cleaner as you go So this is the worst it's gonna get I love it. Yeah

You're just gonna keep going up from here. There is by the way guys just to be clear Can we zoom in on that? There is a stack of laundry. Yo, yeah, just dirty clothes. No, it's not When I talk about the studio that doesn't have to be fancy I'm looking at there's just dust bunnies Everywhere, I mean just everywhere sounds like you're judging. There's dirty clothes sounds like you're judging There is a stack of cables unplugged into anything. Mm-hmm. So those are very important You never know. You never know and these smell clean Yep, they look clean that one smelled clean. All right. I need I need to get some bar stool gear before I leave. Yes We got you. Thank you so much. Thanks guys

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Zip recruiter comm slash PMT you can try zip recruiter for free That's zip recruiter comm Slash PMT zip recruiter the smartest way to hire and now here's pick quarterback Can you pick it and now for something completely different? Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest it is starting quarterback for the Pittsburgh Panthers Kenny pick it also winner of My game of the year, so thank you. I know you probably can't talk gambling But did you know that you won my game of the year? Do you know afterwards like I know beating UNC is big

But winning me the game of the year was a lot more important. Oh, yeah, I mean I knew before the game I had somebody send me actually that we were the game of the year You know my friends are pretty ruthless So they had to make sure that I knew about that before the game started And then I saw some of your tweets during the game and I had to send you one I was congratulating you on the the game of the year. So it was a win-win all around. Yeah It was a great great game great season so far. I was very very nervous, but I think I Are we in the trust tree right now?

We're in the trust tree. Absolutely. I think the two gloves make me nervous, man The two gloves make me nervous. Can you talk to us why you're a two-glove quarterback? I think that you're a very very good quarterback And I've watched a lot of pit football this year and you guys have been playing very well But in that Clemson game was great But for some reason two-glove quarterbacks always make me nervous in big moments in big moments. Yeah Where's the where's the translation in that? I don't know. I think it's like you just can't feel like what have the ball sticks to the hand Yes, something like yeah, you're gonna do like a tuck rule almost at the worst possible time. I think it I

Don't know. I just have a better grip with it It's been it was something I did when I was younger got away from and then it came back in college Actually against UNC two years ago Was really I think the second time I did in college after that game. I stuck with it It's been it's been working ever since so I'm just gonna ride it out. Okay. All right, so you're if you're comfortable I'm comfortable, but I just had to get that out there because I don't I don't know what it is I think the PFT nailed it. It's like at the worst possible time. Boom. You try to throw and it just sticks to it I just always assume that if a quarterback's got a glove on his throwing hand

And first of all, I don't know if I've ever seen a quarterback with two gloves when a Super Bowl. Oh We'll have to do some deep deep numbers on that, but I'm pretty sure it hasn't happened But I just always assume that like the small touch passes There's just like that fraction of an inch between your skin and the ball I like skin-on-skin and so I feel like you're losing some of the sensation that you might feel in your fingertip Against the skin of the football when you throw it, right, right? I mean that all that all definitely adds up and makes sense. I haven't run into that issue yet But if I bump into it, I'll probably take the gloves off

The other thing is the long hair which listen, I love it. I love long hair. I personally have long hair I think it's a good look, but it's another thing that we've talked about on the show Probably too much is that long hair quarterback Super Bowl is that whole thing Are you gonna are you gonna continue to grow it out? Are you gonna trim it up once you get drafted? So long hair is good or not good from a from a visual standpoint. It's good from a me thinking You can win a Super Bowl standpoint not so good. What if we send a trend of it being good? We could start it here on the show. Yeah, I'd be down for that or cut into a mullet Have you have you considered the mullet? It's been enough for discussion

I don't I think there's a lot of people my family especially my girlfriend. I would not be a fan of it But you know, I think you know, we could we could definitely talk about that after the season going into next year So this year has been great. I I I think it's you're an awesome story because like what happens every year in the draft You get guys who kind of come out of nowhere a little bit later late bloomers Has there been a moment in the last year or so where you're like, oh, I'm actually Now going to be a high draft pick because I know for the majority of your career in college It was like, yeah, Kenny pick it might get drafted, but he's not gonna be a first-rounder now It looks like you're gonna be a first-rounder. Have you had that like light bulb? Oh fuck

This is this is getting really real. I'd say so. I mean it kind of it's built kind of like week by week It's just gotten bigger and bigger And you know the absolute I mean that was the reason I came back that the whole goal was you know to To be able to win a championship and come back and go in that first round I think a lot of guys have that kind of goal when they do this I don't think I'm the first to obviously, you know for grow the draft and come back And you know, I'm excited the way it's going. I just hope we can finish it finish it the right way So when you were just stop making the decision to come back

What was what did agents and everyone tell you like what they say? What round you would most likely go in if you went to the draft last year? Yeah, I mean everything I was hearing from agents coaches You know some NFL personnel that and you know ex players and I mean obviously I mean I paid manning it as you know had gave me some advice and he got some information for me and everything I was hearing was was four or five round four or five and You know then maybe come back Peyton was just like, you know Do you see yourself as that kind of player and the easy answer was no? And I just wanted to bet on myself and come back for one more. That's awesome

And it's it's it's a it was a great bet because obviously you're having a great season But I think it's it's you see a lot of times guys being like fuck it I want to just go to the NFL or I don't really trust that people are analyzing me correctly I'm gonna be a second round guy and you're like no I'm gonna bet on myself at college football and see where this takes me. Yeah, I mean, that's the thing I think guys like it's such an emotional decision I think the best thing that I did with the decision was kind of take the emotion out of it and look at it as a Business standpoint like, you know, I'm I'm here, but this okay, so everyone has me here. I gotta come back

Play at a higher level in order to even be in that discussion where I feel like I should be So what once I kind of sat down and kind of looked at it as like a number standpoint and what makes sense And what's the best for my career? You know in my family and that was that was kind of an easy decision So I want to go back a little bit to your childhood growing up playing sports because I read that you you started out playing soccer when you were kid Might be a red flag some people might say but You had to you had to quit soccer because you were too physical. Is that true? That was true. I was a minute. It was like an indoor soccer league

You had this like bubble like 10 15 this from my house is like a rec league And definitely got you know sad to sit out a couple games The soccer career career was short-lived So I hope that One red flag there and so so then obviously you progress playing football and you become friends with Peyton man That's pretty cool that you get to be like, yeah Peyton's just wait. I got to take this. It's Peyton Did you go to the to the Manning Academy? Did you go to his camps? Yeah? Yeah, I went there twice So that's kind of how the the relationship started

And I was there this past summer You know and I kind of I noticed that Archie and we text once in a while sending some stuff So it's it's a really cool relationship. So I bring up his name because our our friend Billy football here He just texted the group and said good news Peyton Manning won a Super Bowl wearing two gloves. Oh Yeah, the rain was in the rain or was it it? No, probably not in the rain one. That was the seattle one It was probably the one in that one. Yeah, what but in the against the Panthers that wasn't the rain though No, I was the rain was obviously against the bears, but I'm saying when did he

He was wearing it because of his neck surgery the Broncos. Yeah, I did become a two glove guy I've seen I mean Rottlesburgers been a two glove guy At times Brady's been a two glove guy at times. So yeah, we can I just Warn her. Yeah, I've always just been nervous The ball is gonna get stuck and you're gonna be standing there like fuck the ball stuck in my hand at the worst possible time Uh, do you think God was involved against that in that game against you and see because I I do After my touchdown, I got off to the sideline. Yes, and I was sitting on the bench I looked at, you know, the other quarterbacks and I was just like, thank god. We had the ball first

Like it was actually insane as soon as they got like we finished up There was you know, it was coming down pretty hard, but not nothing like it was when they got the ball. Yeah It was it was ridiculous. The winds shifted. It was like you couldn't get a read on the wind. It was it was unreal I wish I had known god was gonna it was like a tag team. I tagged god in at the end Um, I would have made it the game of the life a lifetime if I had known god was gonna get involved But shout out the big man upstairs for helping me out in overtime. Um It's got to be so annoying when you throw a pick, right? I mean we got to at least address it I knew this is what I was waiting for

I knew the last name was gonna come up in this discussion I mean, come on you When you guys had when you had chris blew it and kenny picket You blew it your kicker and kenny picket your quarterback Like it's I think it's lame at this point But have you gotten to a point where it's like maybe I'll just change my name Maybe I'll be something else. I mean the good news about the blew it and my in my last name We weren't here together

We were we were kind of so all pit fans had blew it for four and then me for four So I guess they were blessed with eight years of unfortunate names at certain positions, but uh, no No, I'm gonna I'm gonna keep the name Um, and hopefully throw is you know less. There's you know minimum interceptions. I possibly can Uh to kind of you know limit limit the uh, that's unsure twitter goes nuts about it too Yeah, that probably has an impact like a small impact on your decision making is like my last name is People are gonna absolutely roast me if I throw an interception. So I'd better be careful. Yeah It's definitely something about you should you should do like one of your big first ad deals that you do when you go to the

NFL is like just legally change your name to touchdown kenny touchdown And you can get it, you know, well, I'll sponsor. I don't know what would sponsor there or just change your middle name Yeah, so you'll never Yeah That's good. That's a good loop. That's really good I get a very important question asking. So you played behind ben denucci james madison university legend when he was at pittsburgh How how much did you learn from ben and have you been in touch with ben about his burgeoning NFL career? Yeah, I learned a lot from ben and max brown actually, um, you know, when I was a true freshman

They both were they both were here max starred. He and i'm getting injured Um, you know ben came in and I came in at the end of the year too. So Um, I had two, you know, older guys that that were here to kind of learn from and I took a lot from both of their games and you know, obviously then ben went on to james madison now He's in the league doing good things. So yeah, he's definitely a great guy to learn from I feel like quarterbacks that stick around at pit They develop in a different way from quarterbacks that might just play like one or two seasons elsewhere Because in your home stadium, there's just so much weird shit that happens there between the wind

The turf by the end of the field Would you is it more of an advantage for you? Like knowing where the wind's coming from in the stadium or which sections of the turf are going to be Absolutely chewed up from big ben by the end of september I mean, I'd say bow the wind is the wind is tough. I mean, I would say it's it's tougher for kickers Um, but I definitely the field is I think he's an advantage. I think teams come in I always watch them in warm-ups kind of like walk every inch of the field Um, like somehow I think that's they think that's going to help them

I mean, it's just got to know it's just not a great surface and you just got to play You just have to have to know that when you're making your cuts and everything Um, but I think it definitely gets gets in their heads when they're walking around perigame Uh, is damarino a mentor of yours? I wouldn't say mentor. I mean, we we talk, you know every once in a while Um, you know coming on visits as a as a high school recruit That's the guy that you chase when you see all the records on the wall and stuff So now that you know, I'm starting to see my name next to his Um, it's it's an unbelievable feeling. I know he was on the yeah part too, right?

Yeah, no, he was on part of my take. Yeah, he was uh in the van. He loved he had a great time He's a lot of fun. Yeah, I had to watch that one. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, he was so Now, um, this is something I always think about when when I think about college football and handicapping games The the color schemes and the jerseys when did you guys officially make the switch To the blue and the in the yellow scheme you have right now because it's a classic I don't know why Pitt ever went away from it. Was that just this year that you did it consistently? No, no, I agree. So it started in 2019 and we started to wear like throwbacks. Yeah Um in 2016 when I was getting recruited. I think the first year they started to mix it in

Um, but absolutely. I mean, it's kind of like no one has these colors. Yes Beyond you see these colors like that's Pitt, you know, Pitt's playing so I think it's something pretty special It's it's awesome. I don't I mean, I would imagine you guys play better in the journey You've only worn this jersey color this year, right? Yes, and we have like these steel city uniforms that I'm not a huge fan of I mean, it looks like army It looks like it's just not us. You know, I don't I don't I think it was a good idea Um, you know, everyone's hearts are in the right place by then we just stick with these colors for we all right Yeah, those colors the colors that Pitt has are like some of the best color combinations in all of college football

It drove me insane when when you'd wear the dark navy and like the gold. I thought that was just the worst So you're on the right path. Do you um, do you use the word yinz? yinz I We'll like mess around guys who aren't from here will mess around and say my my roommate's Australian We'll try and throw it in there a little bit But I have a bunch of Pittsburgh friends and they they say it and it just kind of rolls off the tongue for them regular Yeah, I feel like well, if you're all if you're playing for Pitt

You're allowed to use the word yinz or you're from the Pittsburgh area But you can't like you can't say it as an outsider. No and I feel like I can't go back to jersey and say No one would have any idea what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah, just um, does Dave wants that ever call you up? No No, I never I never had a chance to talk to coach, but um, he's actually been like a pretty big supporter Um, you know on tv on twitter, so definitely appreciate him. Wait, so from jersey playing at Pitt, uh Have you changed your allegiance to sheets? Um, I mean, I'm not a huge. I mean, why was why was good? I'm not a I don't have an allegiance to either one of them Honestly, I don't spend I don't really go there

If I want like a nice sandwich at home like there's delis that are that are just way better Oh, wow Stick with the local spots. You pissed some people off with that. Uh, what's your hand size? I can't give you a legit number. We're gonna I'll wait so so big. It's so big can't be measured I'll we could go with that Would you say that it's that narrative start that narrative for me going in the draft day? That'll be great. We don't have the ability to measure his hands They're so big. Would you say they're on the bigger or smaller side in the middle?

Okay, that makes me think small, you know, you can get You can get massages. They're they're different exercises you can do to actually make your your hand was at your your hand span Longer. Have you done those? Oh, thumb to pinky. No, I've never done. I'm sure I will be getting involved with them As soon as the season's over, but I know that's a huge concern for everyone Um, you know, yeah past 45 yards on a rope and I throw 45 yards on a rope. It doesn't say like from a small hand Yeah, are you sure? Yeah

The weirdest thing it is. We're but that's just draft nerds or the weirdest people in the world Yeah, it's it's so uh, the things I get tagged in and then like it says like draft expert and you look it's like 105 followers What are we doing? But yeah, it is what it is. How uh, how far can you throw a football or uh, probably 65 Okay, that's not bad. What's your projected 40 people think I'm slow But I think I'm going to be in like the low four six is high four fives. Yeah, no, I don't think you're slow I think you actually have like It's it's I probably the two gloves is what makes people think you're slowed if we're actually breaking it down sneaky

I'll say sneaky fast. No, but I'm thinking about it like they're I we found out that they're super bowl winners Who have worn worn two gloves? I can guarantee you that there's no fast guys that have worn two gloves Yeah, I don't think I'm trying to think of some yeah No, it's no that's what but big ben did and that's back when big ben had teddy. I would say it is not fast Teddy is not fast at all big ben has functional athleticism That's what you should like you're you're almost too fast to have functional athleticism You have deceptive speed at this point. You're in like the justin herbert range. Yeah I mean, I can I live with that. I'll take that if Mike vick were to two gloves out. I'm out of the discussion

That's for sure. Um, definitely not in that category. All right. So my last question Which is the most important question because you're gonna get drafted in the first round Congratulations on that. How much do you want to pay us to be? Kenny picket defenders now. We've done this for other people. We've done it for josh allen Blake portals baker mayfield. We have a whole resume Binders full of quarterbacks that we will defend and never bash like Certain teams that haven't won a game in the nfl this year Notice we have never said a bad word

About the quarterback there because he's a good friend and we would never do that. So we can be bought Just think about how much you want to pay us. All right. Yeah, I'll definitely I'll definitely Think about all I need is like a part of my take shirt or hat or something. I don't know. Yeah, I think we can make that happen Okay, love the love some merch Rocks emerge. We get definitely get a deal going done. Okay sold I will we will we'll defend you. We will defend you against everyone. I mean, listen, you know I was gonna defend you anyway because you won my game of the year. Um, so I I am forever indebted to you because there's nothing better than winning a game of the year and being like one and own game of the years

I have a quite another question. Yeah Will there be another game of the year? I heard there's rumors going around that there may be another game of the year there might be because Winning a game of the year is a great thrill Because everyone just compliments you about your game of the year and to go to an o on game of the years would be pretty incredible First time ever probably it might there might be I you know what I might wait until you guys see where you guys play a bowl game. Maybe acc championship game That might be a rollover game of the year the kenny picket memorial

Not that you're dead game of the year I like I'm gonna say if it's awesome, you go to know that's great But if you lose and you pick somebody else does that makes us look probably like a hundred better in your eyes Yeah, if I were you big kid I would bet on somebody else for your second game of the year that way He can he can leave college as being the only person that's undefeated in big cat games of the year. That's true. Good point Good point. Yeah, a lot of good ideas. Scouts will like that. Scouts will like that a lot Do you know who the scouts are in the stands?

Like, do you know where they sit and you're like, I got to make sure that I look really good when they're watching me No, I mean they come to practice and uh, it's it's funny because like we do like Like center quarterback exchange we call and then I'll throw it like 10 yards and there's like at the UNC game There was like 15 or 20 of them standing there. I'm just curious as to how much they can get out of the 10 yard like form of toss Yeah There for a reason so that they're getting some kind of information I had one last last question. So this is more about the

Manning Academy stuff Is there something tangible that you've learned that they like fixed in you? Where you go to the camp and then they watch you throw and like Peyton Manning gives you a piece of advice It's like, hey, you're I've noticed that you do this. You should change it and then you've adopted that That's a great question. I would say it's never That cool stuff They do a lot I mean we we have a chance to ask them questions for like an hour and we go over like

You know, they're all season routine how they prepare for games That was kind of the biggest thing that I took from it My the first time I went and I kept that same notebook and I brought it back the second time And I was able to add to that and that's kind of really taken my like preparation week by week I'd say to the to the next level just listen to how Peyton Eli prepared In the NFL. I love it. Well Kenny, uh, best of luck I just love the idea of a professional quarterback named Kenny. I think it's fucking awesome Kenny Stabler, obviously Snake so, uh, best of luck. Thank you again for winning my game of the year. I actually

We you got to come back and come in person After the Heisman ceremony, you'll be here in New York Let's go. Yes. You better get invited. Kenny pick it if we can figure out a way to do a hashtag or or stuff some ballots Kenny pick it to New York has to happen Other balance. Yeah, do you have a Heisman moment yet? Yeah, my game of the year Yeah It was the game of the year Kenny Heisman. Yeah, Kenny Heisman game of the year

All right, man. Thanks so much. Best of luck. Thanks guys. Appreciate for having me on see you man Kenny pick it was brought to you by our very very good friends over at Coors Light Love Coors Light Love drinking it mountains were blue last night. Billy and I went out for some Korean barbecue The mountains were very blue at the barbecue station. It's delicious It's always good. It's the official beer college football the official beer of part of my take And it's the official beer of chilling out when everything's go go go It's non-stop hustle all the time

You got work friends family a million pressing social issues. You have to be on 24 seven. Sometimes you have to chill Coors Light is made to chill We love Coors Light. I love you. You know what I really love to do with Coors Light. It's about that time of year Put it outside Leave the case of beer outside Let nature turn the mountains blue. It's God's refrigerator out there Love Coors Light. Love it, especially when you're pulling out of the snow Love it when you're watching college football when you're watching NFL football

No matter what Coors Light is mountain cold refreshment and it's always made to chill It's the one that I choose when I need to unwind So when you want to hit reset reach for the beer that's made to chill Get Coors Light and the new look delivered straight to your door drizzly or with the instacarp by going to coorslight.com Slash take Coors Light.com slash take Celebrate responsibly Coors Brewing Company Golden, Colorado. Okay, we're going to wrap up the show with little Wednesday reading Uh, we've alluded to it. It is from our friend Dan Orlowski. He dropped this blog

Now I like Dan. Uh, this isn't supposed to be, uh Mean towards Dan. I actually think that because we're going to bust his balls here. That means he's a friend of ours But I still don't really understand where that it came out of left field and it would be We wouldn't be doing our job if we didn't talk about it. Yeah, it would honestly be uh, it'd be omission People would be like, why haven't you talked about the Dan Orlowski blog yet? And frankly, I'll talk about any Dan Orlowski blog If he wants to write up a blog telling me about like maybe why uh, certain quarterbacks in the NFL are overrated this year I'll read that. I also like the fact that Dan Orlowski thinks Matt Nagy is being criminal towards Justin Fields

So he will always have a special place in my heart and he's always, you know what? We'll we'll extend because we're gonna we're gonna bust them up a good one Just guys just busting each other up I'll officially extend the offer if Dan Orlowski wants to come on and talk quarterbacks and also How to not shoot on your wife or jack off or jack off and you know what? We can present a counterpoint article four ways to jack off on the road. Yes to him So when he comes on we will tell him how we play offense Yes, by jerking off all the time. So it's four ways to avoid temptation. First of all, right off the bat

Guys love lists. So he has my attention. Oh right off the bat. Not only do guys love lists, but guys love analogies. So uh, we start with In the NFL, I I skipped the first part, but in the NFL while defense is important You won't win if you never score And it's always easier to score while you're on offense. That's true with temptation being on offense Dan Orlowski is playing quarterback on the other team. True. That's we had to get that one in there He actually handles it well now. I think there was a moment in time where it bothered him But I think he's on the other side of that. He's like, I gotta own it. Well

You can easily own it being like I was in the NFL Right, like that's kind of the trump card on all losers on twitter being like well I got played to play football. I played for 11 years in the NFL. Yeah, so yeah, that's the trump card So with temptation being on offense is about avoiding temptation How can you avoid temptation rather than put yourself in a position to have to resist it? Here are four ways to avoid temptation number one Focus on knowing yourself

I found that if I know my biggest struggles are more likely to avoid them What do you struggle with most whether it's temptation to get more money more power or more sex? It's important to be honest with yourself about it. Okay. All right. My only qualm with this is that Uh, if you take knowing yourself in the biblical sense like adam new eve Etc. He's just talking about jacking off. Yes. It's important to know which I agree with dan I do too. I also it's a little again. This came out of left field this blog So I have to just say like the only temptations he listed were money power and sex. Yeah What's on your mind dan? Well money power sex. Those are like the hierarchy of needs

That's the top like if it's the food pyramid, that's the good part. That's the sweets oils and fats, baby Oh, Jesus. I didn't even realize this. So, uh, we'll have to this is just gonna be a This is probably gonna be a recurring segment now because there's a hyperlink on more sex So it's money power or more sex hyperlink more sex It goes to an article that says 10 practical ways to battle your sexual temptations. No, I've been clicking all the jerk off Yeah, I've been clicking all the hyperlinks already I pre-clicked them and some of them linked to more all pro dad articles got it not by dan though by other people Got it. So that's that's not a dan take quick 10 practical ways to battle your sex

Sexual temptations one jerk off two get so fat that your your testosterone is limited and you don't even want to move I would say three Fall asleep after jerking off. Yes four smoke some weed. Yeah, that's a good one because then you'll just probably be too lazy to Have sex or jerk off five blog Become a full-time blogger six Bet the over on a game. Yep. Uh, that's just like jerking off if you hit it. Uh, seven Just, uh, just don't jerk off eight. Listen a part of my take. Yep nine

I think that's it. Those are the only ways to avoid temptation nine nine. Oh, no. Oh wet dream nine. Okay. Good job hand job from god 10 Grow your hair out really long and don't shave for a while. It's really easy to avoid Close to jerking you off. It's really easy to avoid sexual temptation that way. Um, all right So we're back to the regular article the main article If you know what uh, you struggle with you're better equipped to avoid it. I don't personally struggle with pornography again I'm just gonna throw a flag dan. You just wrote this blog out of nowhere and you said you don't struggle with pornography I'm sorry, but you're a porn guy. Well, who struggles with pornography

Pornography is the the easiest thing to not struggle with what if you're if no if your wi-fi is not strong enough And it's like the the actual video is not loading. You don't get the preview. Yeah, it's not buffering. Correct So it's kind of blurry. That's a struggle with pornography. He's got I don't think porn works on wi-fi. Oh, I always go no wi-fi Interesting. I respectfully disagree, but that would be I've had this problem. I'm like it's buffering I'm like it's fucking wi-fi. They don't want me to they don't want me. Oh, I just get off the wi-fi Here's a struggle with pornography that I have just fiercely for a while Sometimes when the thumbnail is different than what the actual video is and you're like I was sold a weird bill of goods here Sometimes that's a struggle. That's a that's a big one sometimes when you click on something and then it's like

Uh step brother and step sister. It's like wait. I didn't sign up for that. Yes, but there's there's just hammering that into us these days Oh when uh, occasionally, I'll struggle where they uh change the angle of the scene At an inopportune time to what you're doing, you know where it's like hey now It's just everyone's asshole or it's the guy i'm like about you know I'm almost there dan the old school porn. It was the guy's face when he was popping. Yeah, that's yeah I don't need that close. There are struggles. So there are struggles another big struggle with pornography that I've seen a couple times All right, my friends have told me about uh from them watching porn Is there's a kind of porn out there where a girl just gets like stuck in a window

Which is very obviously not stuck in a window, but she's pretending that like her hands are stuck And then a guy comes in she's naked. She's like oh get me unstuck right this whole unstuck thing Yeah, but uh, yeah, the best videos are at the bottom, but they're not even videos. Yeah, that's true That's another struggle, but this is uh Again, it's just a little weird to be like hey guys just wanted to drop this blog out of nowhere saying I don't struggle with pornography But here we are it's me danerlowski. Do you also have problems with a try not to come challenge? Yeah, I okay. You don't struggle with pornography. All right, but he said I but I know a lot of guys who do us We just listed all the ways if you're one of them be honest with yourself about your wandering eyes

So you can fight that battle. I don't think Porn is a wandering eye thing. No, my eyes are locked in one location. Yeah, also. Is that like Is it cheating on your wife if you watch porn? Yes, if you know the woman that's in the porn If you're friends if you've ever bought her Something from her amazon gift list if you and that's cheating if you own her lower body in a sex doll form If you've ever if you ever paid money to Skype with her. Yes, then that's cheating Um, all right, so but he said I know a lot of guys did if you if you're one of them be honest with yourself about your wandering eyes

So you can fight that battle. Remember you don't get points for having temptation. You win by avoiding it I'm gonna I'm gonna politely disagree on this one. I think Watching porn is totally normal. Also if you're in a committed relationship And you are challenged with temptation and you overcome it Doesn't aren't you running up the score against temptation at that point? Yeah, like if you're afraid of temptation You're like you don't want to play against them, right? They're saying anytime anywhere, right and you're ducking temptation So stiff breeze and temptation shows up. Yeah, exactly. You're scheduling cupcakes if you're not going up against temptation. Do you think? Dan is like when he slips up with the porn thing. He's like

Listen, honey. I want to talk to you about something serious. He calls her. I went I went on you Euge's last night Like, all right. Well, we'll have to do some counseling over this. Do we have any any Catholics in the room? Uh, Billy I've always wondered how that how confession goes if you have to confess your sins Do you have to like give the priest the entire rundown of like well first? I went to Euge's calm So there's a there's a website called blacked Then I left because the only they didn't have I've already seen all the 8th street Latina videos on the front page So then I went over to porn hub and uh, and that was that's really what did the trick or can you just say

I've been tempted and I failed Billy lies in confession Priest is like, you know, you don't have to lie Billy. He's like, oh shit Billy, do you do you have you done confession recently? Not in a long time. Okay. Um, was that a lie? No, okay. All right. Number two focus on staying busy I travel most weeks for work while i'm on the road I will purposely leave work to do while i'm in my hotel room So he leaves himself some extra work during these times. I'm intentionally guarding against having idle time

I know myself So i'm guarding against the temptation to lay around doing nothing and allowing my mind to wander to a place That it shouldn't Again, this is like dude The best part about being on the road is you can just lay in your hotel bed jerk off and get room service That's awesome falling asleep After jacking off in a hotel room is maybe the best feeling ever. There's a reason why every hotel room has lotion No, no one has lotion hotel rooms. I don't think I've ever purchased lotion in my life. No hotel rooms are basically

It's like a mini jerk off station. They're like here it is. Yeah, it's a private diy. It's a do-it-yourself amusement park Yeah, uh, all right. So I try to do stuff related to my family I'll I'll busy myself with reviewing my kids schedule Scroll through old photos of my wife and kids on my phone or even order flowers for my wife The point is to keep your focus sometimes keeping your focus as simple as staying busy Now I'll defend Dan on this when I am on the road. I will oftentimes like look at old pictures of my family just because I miss them Um, but that also doesn't stop like there's no it's not temptation driven It's just I I love my family and I wish I was with them. It's not like

Oh, I'm thinking about option one. I'm gonna go fuck some random person or option two look at pictures of my kids I just look at pictures of my kids because I love my kids Right Dan is basically saying that if if I'm left to my own devices in a hotel room I'm just I'm gonna do something bad if I don't have pictures of my he's constantly guarded He he has to remind himself that he has a family right the entire time to not be tempted Like I'm saying Dan sometimes you got to meet temptation head on know that you can conquer it Oklahoma drill with temptation. Yeah me versus you had on a hat And then the next sense he says you got to focus on a hobby or maybe you can just take a walk outside

I'm just imagining Dan in a hotel room. Just just sweating just like shaking because he's got this urge to just touch himself He's like I need to take a cool down walk outside. Yeah. I is this always pacing. I every single trip I've ever taken on the road for work is basically the exact same thing show up to the hotel Clog the toilet have to call down tell them to unclog the toilet lay in my bed for a while Maybe with a dip in be like text you guys being like, where should we get dinner? Go get dinner. Go back to my hotel. Watch whatever game. I'm gambling on fall asleep jerk off fall asleep That's it. That's that's the exact playbook. That's and there's never a moment where I'm like Where's the strange I feel like most middle-aged men would look at that as the best vacation

It's right. I I do not need to stay busy. I actually love not being busy when I'm on the road Uh, yeah, so he says take a walk if you don't want the temptation to follow you around Don't act as if you're interested in being tempted it all the time The dad who stays busy will win over the dad who's teetering on the edge of temptation all day. I also I will Dan Rolofsky from afar seems like a very very good dad. I think he coaches his kids like So that's nice that he's throwing that out there Although I always wonder like do you think his kids one day will read this and be like, what's going on here? Yeah, maybe in in the part where he he changes it up

So this started out as a battle like you're playing a football game against temptation And it's changed in this last section. It's now the dad who stays busy Will win over the dad who's teetering on the edge of temptation which again Are you teetering Dan because you you you offered this so he's saying he's saying that now It's a dad against dad competition right he who go who abstains the longest without coming Is the better dad. Yes. I don't know if that's necessarily true. Philip rivers would probably beg to differ that Absolutely. All right. So number three focus on being in a community when I'm traveling

I'm usually on the road with a group of people even even in the studio There are lots of people around so I'll often go out with a group to enjoy dinner rather than be alone We'll tour a stadium or finish more preparation for work And when I'm when I say I'm with the group. I mean group John Kittner noted Porn PSA guy. Oh, no, that was josh mccow. Yeah, John Kittner taught me to never be one-on-one with a female That's how you know that we're getting into the real meat of the take once the word female makes its first appearance You can't be alone with a female because you'll probably fuck. Yeah, these hoes crazy is what Dan's saying

do you Do you think he's been one-on-one with a female and been like I need to excuse myself. It's the mike pence rule Yeah, if mother's not around I cannot dine with you. I'm sorry I think I actually think it's a pretty normal thing to be one-on-one with a female It's essentially cutting out 50 of the people that you can interact with. Yeah, if you have this rule And most normal people when they're hanging out with a female aren't thinking This is a bad thing that I shouldn't be doing because if you think if you think it's a bad thing to be hanging out with a girl In reality, you're acknowledging the fact that the girl is just a complete source of temptation for you

And not just like hey, I'm talking with a girl. You you acknowledge that penis goes in vagina. Yeah Yeah, that's pretty much what it's boiling down. That's the subtext of any time Dan is talking with a girl. It's like, you know Like physically we could it fits it does. Yeah, these pieces go together Dan should have gone to purdue. That should have been the whole blog. I should have attended purdue Um, never alone with a girl there. All right, so Sorry if you purdue fan if you thought that you weren't going to get a shot randomly Here it is. Uh, all right, so Four focus on your family often. I'm in my hotel. Oh, no, there's more to three. Sorry

The point is the less time I have alone the better and that's true for all of us Most guys I talk to fall into temptation when they're alone The key might be spending your time around more people who will build you up Find a group that has similar interests and spend time with them. You'll keep busy and be in a community double win There is a double win. Okay Well, it's also he's saying that you fall into temptation when you're alone But you can't go out and if you like leave your hotel room and on your walk You see a woman who's also taking a walk. Well, that's outside

Yeah, but you're still alone with a woman walking. No, then you're with god Okay, got it. But if you in the hallway you step in the hallway, there's a woman You sprint back in the room back in or do you but then you're alone the stairs, but then you're alone. Yeah No, I see what you're saying. It's tough box yourself. It's tough out there with these females. Yes All right, number four focus on your family often if I'm in my hotel Just hanging out while traveling in addition to what already mentioned I have a habit of FaceTiming with my wife and kids. I'll call while they're watching tv playing a game or hanging out at the House. I'll simply hold the phone and watch them. It's like I'm in the house with them

It's a small way to connect with the people most important in my life and to hold myself accountable I actually have no problem with this paragraph. No, that's totally normal. I do the similar things that one plays It's nice. The only thing is it it could also be read that dan whenever he is really feeling the urge That's when he facetimes and so, you know when you're getting the call from dan It's like it's like what's going on alcohol. Yeah, I was calling the sponsors like yeah, I've got a bow Dan's got a boner again. Yeah, what's going on here? All right. So whether you travel for work or not How are you keeping your focus on your family? You can say your family's important important But how do you show it? How are you connecting with them avoiding temptation comes down to a battle of your mind and thoughts?

So why not focus on your family the more time your mind is on something other than your temptation the better so um Yeah, again, I this was really random. It came out of nowhere it came out of it. It felt like uh Hey guys, I'm having I'm having some thoughts about watching some porn. I need to get this off my chest So I don't yeah, I actually think that most of what he says is harmless and it sounds like 100 It sounds like he's being a good dad and a good father and just trying to be a good person But I think I think a lot of us out there dan when I woke up at least last week on I think it was Tuesday morning I I was not asking myself. How does dan avoid jacking off in hotel rooms?

But now I'm always going to be wondering that like when he's on the road when they send dan on assignments I'm going to be wondering like how much time is dan spending alone dan if you ever need to talk to anybody on the road Yeah, just you can you can tweet at us. We'll have a conversation if you're experiencing temptation We'll walk you through it. We'll give you some of our advice about how to avoid feeling horny. Yes Just call us listen to part of my take. Yeah, you get FaceTime us. Yeah, you if you listen to part of my take You'll never want to fuck again. It's a fact. It is absolutely It's the anti uh testosterone drug to skip guys on chicks. Yeah, but dan um We will this is our official invitation for dan to come on and we can give him tips on how to

Jerk off better. Mm-hmm. I will be and then we'll break down some film Well, we'll really give you tips about how to de-stigmatize jacking off to the point where it's not even a sexual thing Yes, it's just like uh, just a thing that you do to pass the time. Also. I noticed a hobby I noticed and you didn't you didn't list. Uh, just watch the all 22. Um, that's pretty there's a lot of all 22 Is there not that's probably why he does. Yeah, there's a ton of all 22 And the amounts of all 22 that's his problem with pornography is it doesn't show enough of the actual sex that's going on You just get the close-ups. Oh god, and you're like, oh, I could do that But then when you see the entire room, you've got the cameraman

You've got the gaffers all this stuff the lighting guy and it's actually a lot more difficult to participate in porn Once you see the whole field, I would like to actually know Maybe like a little rating in the bottom right of dan's uh breakdown of all 22 Like how horny was he when he was breaking that down? Carson wins scaled the one seven out of ten 11 out of 10. Yes Yes, um, all right. That is our show. Should we do numbers and anything else billy? There's a chimpanzee in Spain. That's addicted to watching pornography really respect human kind get him this fucking blog I'll send it to her All right, look at that my toxic masculinity showing

Wow, I respect that. It's actually a good point. Why didn't Dan write write this to women too? Yeah, they want to jerk off all the time Uh, should we play brotherhood bingo? Wood number what do we got? I want to play monkey but 97 18 23 is out How many numbers we got left Jake? 6 20 22 26 27 29 49 51 76 78 81 88 97 how many is that? 13 13 97 i'm just gonna get 97

Are we 87 or 88 stole the ball 88 87 88 46 that feels like a million times. We've had that feels like a million times You're confusing it with 47, which is the seven-time champ 46 is now the fourth time though. So got it. Yeah, got it. Love you guys Oh Oh You