Pardon My Take - Trailblazers CJ McCollum And Mt Rushmore Of Worst Mondays
Episode Date: July 9, 2018We're back from Vacation and recapping all the things we missed. Lebron to LA, Paul George has been brainwashed, Boogie ruined the NBA by making the Warriors the favorite to win the title, (2:12 - 9:1...9) and we still have World Cup fever (9:19 - 16:43). Mt Rushmore of worst Mondays to go back to work and a bonus Mt Rushmore of Darren Rovell's 40 rules for turning 40 (16:43 - 36:25). Who's back of the week including Jay Z getting roasted (36:25 - 41:52). Portland Trailblazer CJ McCollum joins the show to talk about NBA free agency, what its like always being in trade rumors, being an NBA player from the Patriot League, and how we have to stop calling Kevin Durant a baby back bitch (41:52 - 77:28). Segments include Thoughts and Prayers to the Croatian player that dissed Russia, trouble in paradise for Dwight Howard's relationship with every NBA team, Stay Classy Phil Mickelson, and Hank hot in the streets for Bieber getting engaged. You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake
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Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
or YouTube.
Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music.
On today's pardon my take, we are back from vacation.
We have CJ McCollum from the Portland Trailblazers.
Hopefully he's still on the Trailblazers.
He thinks he's going to get traded at any moment.
Trailblazer for life.
Trailblazer for life.
We also have an update of everything we missed.
So LeBron to LA, World Cup, Boogie Cousins, all of that, and the Mount Rushmore of worst
Mondays of the year or days you have to go back to work.
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It's part of my take presented by BallSchoolSchoolSchool.
Welcome to part of my take presented by SeatGeek.
Today is Monday, July 9th, PFT, 7-9, Jeff Fischer Day.
Yeah, ooh, a nice espionation and all those fucking bleacher report and all those fuckers
are gonna kill that joke.
Espionation.
Those guys don't hire anyone good.
No.
Hey, PFT.
What's up?
LaBron.
Like the city.
Yes, LABron.
The city of angels is going to hell because LeBron James really screwed us over.
We take one week of vacation every two and a half, three years.
In his defense, we did take the vacation on the first day of NBA free agency.
So we missed a few things, but we had a good vacation.
Hope you had a good vacation over July 4th.
Welcome back to part of my take.
We have CJ McCollum on today, but before we do that, we're gonna do some Mount Rushmore's
and we're also going to basically catch up on everything we missed.
So let's start there.
LaBron to the Lakers with a terrible team as currently constructed.
Let's give credit where credit is due on breaking this story.
LaBron to the Lakers was first not reported by part of my take.
Correct.
All of our predictions about where he was not going to go ended up being true.
So a lot of credit to us for being first.
As far as LeBron's free agency decisions, it was by far the most anticomactic because
I think everyone sort of knew he was going to Lakers.
There was that one moment where Philly met with LeBron's associates.
So they met with Ben Affleck from Goodwill Hunting.
They met with LeBron Jr.
Yeah.
They basically met with a couple guys who knew LeBron and they're like, hey, listen,
he's not going to Philly, but here's your woge tweet to say that you met with him.
And then he went and clutch sports with a K. By the way, that's, do you think they regret
that?
No.
I think the K because you see usually they spell clutch with a C.
I get that.
And so they're kind of the wild card.
I feel like that's one of those ones they look at and they're like, I wish we had named
it something different.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
But so they do a press release and that was it.
And LeBron's going to be a Laker and now Kobe is silently stewing and he's going to
pretend to like this, but you know he hates it.
Yeah.
But who was the first person to report that clutch sports had issued that release?
I think it was Woj.
I think it was Woj.
Well, this is how the Sard retreated it.
This is how the world ends, not with a bang, but with a woge tweet.
Yes.
One interesting thing I saw that when he went to Miami, he promised seven championships.
He went to Cleveland.
He promised to bring a championship home.
I haven't said anything about going to Lakers.
Well, Magic Johnson, uh, did something good with getting LeBron and then immediately followed
it up with like the weirdest.
They got Rondo.
They got Lance Stevenson.
They got Javelin McGee.
They basically, they basically just got a bunch of people that don't fit with LeBron
whatsoever.
Well, on the court and also just like a bunch of people that are going to piss LeBron James
off the most.
Yes.
I'm actually, I'm very excited about this fit.
I am psyched for LeBron to be a Laker.
It does throw into Jeopardy, his attempt at getting 10 finals losses because he's not
going to get there.
He's not going to make the finals.
I actually have a little stay woke that I think LeBron, this is going to be a year because
I don't, I now I'm thinking Kawai is not going to go to the Lakers this year.
They're going to wait it out because Pop is like, fuck this, Kawai has been literally
dodging us.
That report that he, he left the building when the Spurs went to check on him in New York.
So I think they're going to wait a year.
They're just going to ride it out and then LeBron is going to do his first year where
he fakes an injury, pretty much broken hand, tanks and then comes back, saves it all up.
That's why they signed Lance Stevenson.
That's why they signed, like basically he just stacked the team with a bunch of guys
who aren't really going to do anything and LeBron can sit out for a year.
How does that first conversation go with Lance once they like see each other in the locker
room?
Is Lance going to be like, or Rondo?
I think Lance just has to blow his ear.
He just blows on him.
That's a sure, if it's not your opponent doing it to you, that's a surefire way to
get a guy turned on.
Yeah.
Right in his little hot blow.
Yeah.
Put your earphones right up against your ear real quick.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Love it guys.
The Rondo one is wild because they basically like, all right, so we have one point guard
who can't shoot and let's just get another one who can't shoot that everyone could sag
off of and make LeBron's life miserable.
And also LeBron has led his team and assists every year he's played.
So it's like they don't need assists from him.
Right.
And they got none of them.
So Rondo is going to get so many garbage assists to LeBron.
It's going to be amazing.
Yes.
He's going to average like 22 assists and they're all going to be off like 17 foot
jumpers.
So I mentioned it, but seriously, how mad do you think Kobe is?
I think Kobe is probably a little upset.
He's doing the thing where he's like saying, oh, it's great to have a superstar back in
the city again.
Well, and now there, I don't know if you guys saw, but the list that we're saying like
best Lakers of all time, just guys who played on the Lakers at some point.
And Kobe is like, I saw one list where it was like LeBron, Magic, Wilt, Kareem, Carmelone,
Shaq.
Like Kobe was the ninth best Laker.
He's kind of edged out.
It was fucking awesome.
So this has got a mama mentality.
Like he's going to show up to every game, I feel like, sit sideline, maybe even suit
up.
I wouldn't be shocked.
Just him and Jack Nicholson sitting sideline.
Kobe's probably going to, here's my prediction, Kobe will wear his jersey to a game at some
point, his own jersey.
Yeah.
I mean, there is that second max that they have.
So Kobe, Kobe might be looking like in his chop.
So if they don't get, if they don't get Kauai, which I'm assuming that they don't because
he's a known conservative for support on part of my take.
And he's not going to go out to La La Land with all the Looney Tunes out there.
So who are they going to get with that second max?
No one right now.
I just honestly don't, I mean, I think LeBron literally was like, I'm going to go to LA
and because it's LA and it's because I'm LeBron, someone will eventually come, maybe
not the first year.
I mean, that's the best part about this whole entire thing, LeBron to LA is that he signed
a three year deal with an option for a fourth, basically the biggest fuck you to Cleveland
and Dan Gilbert, because he would not commit to Cleveland.
He's like, yeah, you know what?
I'm going to commit to Magic and Genie Buss, who I've never met before.
But Genie Buss, to her credit, I mean, she has a direct line to Phil Jackson.
Is this the time?
Phil wouldn't come back.
So Phil wouldn't come back this year, but maybe once they add another piece or two and
LeBron gets his one year of a fake injury out of the way.
That is a prime Phil Jackson move to swoop in on an already established, really good
team.
Once LeBron keeps Luke Walton out of the huddle for the first time, sometime in like mid-January.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Ty Luz came out and said he's going to give Luke Walton advice on how to coach LeBron.
Oh, good.
Don't say anything ever.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let him punch all the whiteboards, because then you don't have to draw plays.
I love it.
Because you didn't have one to begin with.
I love it.
They're assembling a super team of LeBron James and all the worst fits with LeBron James.
The other fallout is the fact that like the calves this year are going to be so funny.
Like J.R.
Smith, I think is still on them, like Tristan Thompson, like all these guys who played in
four straight finals playing without LeBron is going to be the funniest fucking thing.
Is this Kevin Love's team?
It's got to be.
Other news, Paul George is brainwashed by Russell Westbrook, so I don't know what's
going on there.
That was another weird one.
Through the biggest party in the history of Oklahoma City for him.
Yes.
Yeah.
That actually was a genius move by Russ.
The night of free agency being like, Hey, I threw a huge party with you for you.
So you got to come and don't make this awkward by signing with the Lakers.
Yeah.
He also traveled back.
He was like, what came from his vacation in Hawaii?
So it was like, I'm coming back.
I'm coming back from Hawaii.
And R.I.P.
Mello.
R.I.P.
Mello.
Although he's going to, he'll land somewhere.
He'll probably go to the Rockets.
He's going to be a piece.
Oh my God.
If Carmelo Anthony goes to the Rockets, that is going to be the least defensive, most
offensive team of all time.
All right.
So, so I want to talk about that because the other news that got everyone upset was Boogie
Cousins to the Warriors and everyone got upset because the Warriors went from the favorites
to win the NBA title to still the favorites, the NBA title.
Honestly, at this point with the Warriors, any addition that they make probably decreases
their chances on winning another title because it's like they're a perfect team.
So no matter who you add, there's always like a small chance of it fucking up the chemistry.
And so, yeah, I mean, Boogie's a good player.
Here's why it makes them worse.
You ready?
Here's my take.
Fair play points between Boogie and Draymond.
Double, double.
That's going to be a bad, bad fair play team as FIFA rules go.
Like they're going to be subtracting a lot of points for the technical fouls.
It's going to be great because Draymond, it's like a, it's like an old, it's like a getting
a puppy when you have an old dog and the old dog has to teach it how to like act normal.
Draymond's going to have to teach Boogie how not to get out of control, which is going
to be hilarious to watch.
Draymond's at that stage in his career where he's going to be like a grumpy older dog.
It's like, I got no time for puppies.
Yeah, this puppy keeps licking my chin.
Yeah, get the fuck out of my way, puppy.
So everyone flipped out.
I honestly like don't understand why everyone flipped out because Boogie cousins is a good
player.
Yeah, he's a good player, but he's also got an Achilles injury.
And he's also like you said, like a dick and kind of a bad locker room guy.
So I don't understand how and the Warriors were already going to win the title.
So to then be like, oh, it's all over.
I could see Boogie hating KD.
I could see that that relationship blowing up a little bit.
Yeah, maybe.
Um, so I actually, I have a hot take.
I think the Rockets letting Ariza go and somehow making it Michael Carter, Williams or Carmelo
Anthony's has more of an impact on the title than Boogie cousins.
I think if Carmelo goes to the Rockets, that's going to be bad.
That's going to be bad.
Yeah.
They're going to practice with more than one ball.
It's going to be great.
Yeah, they're going to invent a new offense where they actually play with multiple balls
at a time.
So he's going to get it going.
Um, let's see.
Are we lending any credence to the fact that LeBron James goes to a team in a state with
legalized marijuana?
Hmm.
Maybe you just wanted to smoke it up.
By the way, I cannot fucking stand this bullshit.
Like LeBron is the anti-Kevin Durant because he went to the Lakers with no one on it.
No, many people are saying who said that?
Uh, I'm a wind horse like, trust me, I'm Zach Lobo.
That huge winner of the week is Brian Winnhorst.
Zach Lobo said it?
He gets to live in a town with like a decent climate for a change.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's, he's, he doesn't have to deal with 95% humidity of Miami.
He doesn't have to deal with the water that catches on fire in Cleveland.
No, dude.
That's an actual storyline that's going to be going like LeBron had the balls to go
to a team with no one.
Yeah.
Oh, I want to see like a documentary crew fall around wind horse like a fish out of
water.
Hollywood Windy.
No, he did Miami.
He knows.
He can do it.
He's, he's a chameleon.
He just basically has to be, you know, follow, follow LeBron.
Yeah.
But the West coast time, the late games, that's going to play havoc with his narcolepsy.
I actually, if LeBron's thinking about doing a bunch of movies, a Batman Robin reboot with
LeBron and wind horse would be.
Who's Batman?
Yeah.
That's a good question.
That's a good question.
I mean, wind horse probably has a longer career ahead of him, right?
Yeah.
At this point.
Yes.
Definitely.
Yeah.
All right.
So, LeBron, World Cup fever has been amazing.
Yeah.
What do, I mean, Brazil, out, Neymar, flopped his little heart out, flopped his little wiener
off.
I'm going to, I'm going to miss Neymar.
We had a lot of fun talking about his flops.
I think the stat before the quarterfinal game was he had spent 14 minutes on the ground
over the door.
The roll one was unbelievable where he just kept on rolling forever.
It looked like he was on fire.
Yeah.
Most guys only lay down for about two or three minutes and then it's over.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
He's talking premature, ejaculate.
Yeah.
But I'm going to miss Neymar.
I really am.
Like those rolls were so fucking funny where he would get, he got stepped on on the sidelines
when he was stationary.
Yeah.
And not moving.
Somehow the laws of physics don't apply to him when he gets fouled because he was lying
still on the ground on the sidelines.
A guy stepped on him somewhat accidentally and then he acted like he got hit and then
rolled, rolled, rolled.
Well, and he's such a good actor that every time it happened, you're like, oh shit, he's
actually hurt this time.
And then they do the slow-mo replay and he's grabbing his neck when someone brushed up against
his shin pad.
God, I'm going to miss that so much.
So France, Belgium, England, Croatia, England has been watching the English celebrations
where they basically just, it's just an entire bar of pasty white dudes who just throw beers
on each other every time they score has been my favorite part of the World Cup.
It looks like the Patriots' celebrations.
Yeah.
No, it's great.
Yeah.
I think so, yes.
Here's a great, great tweet from Harry Maguire.
He scored a goal.
He scored that header.
He said, now this tweet was from 2016, all right?
So about two years ago, he goes, just spent four hours putting together a flat-pack fucking
desk lamp.
I will seek vengeance on the nation of Sweden in this life or the next.
Got him.
He got it.
That's like a really shooty version of Taken.
He got it.
Yeah.
He has a very particular set of skills, which he's getting mad at Ikea.
Yeah.
That particular says everyone has that set of skills.
That is the most relatable thing ever.
Yes.
17 times you were mad at Ikea.
Watching that game, it was, I was a little bit surprised because I'm a Sweden stan.
We all know that.
I'm a big Zoltan guy.
Oh yeah, we all know that.
Yeah.
Everyone knows it.
I thought that Sweden was going to be really good.
It turns out that when they play against good teams, you realize that they're just
a bunch of like six foot two, 190 pound guys that can't run or control the ball.
Yeah, or score.
Or score, really.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Or even try to score.
Yeah.
They're just content on playing defense.
They looked really, really bad.
Yeah.
Well, Sweden is known for their neutrality.
And Russia, the Russia Croatia game was maybe game match of the tournament.
Yeah.
Match of the, are we putting it there?
We'll call it.
Calling it match of the tournament right now.
The drama.
I, I'm going to miss the World Cup so much.
It's.
What is it?
Oh, it's over next Sunday.
But did you guys know this?
No.
You ready for this?
You hear about this?
The next World Cups during football season.
No, that's not true.
Yes, it is.
The next World Cup is next year when the U.S. Women's National Team is going to run.
The next World Cup is during football season.
How stupid is that?
Because they put it in the fucking desert.
You watch your mouth about guitar.
Cutter.
But dude, what does the desert have to do with it?
Because it's too hot in the summer.
So they're going to do it in the, they're literally, they change everything about the
World Cup.
They change just ruined everything.
They get to use their hands in this World Cup because.
In the middle of November.
The feet are going to be too hot on the ground.
The cool the fuck cares during football.
Actually, you know what, I'm calling it right now.
It's going to be the fall of sports.
It's going to be nonstop sports all the time.
But come on.
I mean, I love soccer, but if you make me choose between football and soccer, it's a no-brainer.
So that, this is, you fucked up FIFA.
You're now on my shit list.
Now you are.
We are bridged too far.
Right now.
The slave labor, the blatant corruption, the bribes.
I could look past that.
Going up against football.
Uh-uh.
Protect the shield.
You're out on my, on my book.
How's that going to affect the NFL ratings?
Well.
Ratings might be higher.
Will there be an NFL then?
Probably not.
Not as we know it.
Just flag football.
Dude.
Mike Vic playing flag football, by the way.
Have you watched them?
No, I haven't.
He's playing in a league.
It's awesome.
He's the greatest flag football quarterback of all time.
Jesus.
It's fucking awesome.
I can't even imagine.
It's the greatest thing ever.
All right.
Let's do our Mount Rushmore's.
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All right.
Mount Rushmore.
We had a lot of Mount Rushmores over July 4th, and I think we got everyone, you know,
when you get three Mount Rushmores a day, it's hard, so we're going to wean everyone
off.
We spoiled it.
Yeah, we spoiled it.
So we're going to do two Mount Rushmores today.
The first one is going to be worst days to go back to work, so worst Mondays slash days
to go back to work.
Point of order.
Yeah.
I also included days to go back to school in this.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
Cool.
Let's start.
I'll start.
Okay.
Why don't you start?
Hank, why don't you start?
Hank, you go first, then PFT, then me, then the back through there.
All right.
We got this, guys.
First Monday after the Super Bowl.
Okay.
Yeah.
I think that was probably a consensus number one.
Yep.
Yep.
Considering that we, we, we advocated to change the law on the last week's part of my
take.
Yes.
Great pick.
Great pick.
Okay.
Hank, what's worse, going back to work the day after you win a Super Bowl or the day
after you lose a Super Bowl?
The day after you lose, for sure.
Yeah.
I would say so.
Yeah.
I would say so.
Did that happen recently?
Oh yeah, last year.
Okay.
My first one is going to be...
Five when I've...
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
My first one is going to be, I'm going to go with day after 4th of July.
Especially...
So today?
Yeah.
If the 4th of July happens to occur during the middle of a week, nothing is worse than
going back to work on like a Wednesday.
And knowing that you have three more days, one of which is going to be consumed by a
hangover that would like explode a cricket's brain.
So yeah, I'm doing that one.
That's a good one.
All right.
My first pick is going to be the Monday after the opening round of March Madness.
That is a really tough pill to swallow.
When you get up and you're like, I've just been watching college basketball for four
days straight and then you look on your phone, you're like, is there a game on right now?
Nope.
There's not a game on.
I've always said they need to stagger it to ease us off.
Like we're doing right now, they need to do that with March Madness.
My second one will be, let's see, I'm going to go with the Monday after Thanksgiving.
So that one's tough too.
When you drink, eat tons of football, and you're almost at Christmas, so you're like,
all right, we got...
But you know how like that...
That's good.
When you get into December, you can kind of coast, but like that first Monday after...
Like that first week after Thanksgiving, you still kind of have to try.
But you forget sometimes.
Actually, every year Thanksgiving is on November 28th.
True.
True.
And so that's always in December when you go back.
So you might be in Coast mode then.
I'm going to disagree with you on that one because there's so many people that are out
of the office on that day that it's not...
It's like you're...
It's not really a day to work.
No, no, no, I'm not saying the Friday.
I'm saying the Monday.
Yeah, I'm saying the Monday.
You'll get people out and if you're like trying to communicate with somebody at another office,
they're on vacation.
Wait, people are not off that Monday.
Some people take that Monday off.
No, that's a wild taste.
Some people take that Monday off.
No one takes that Monday off.
You have December coming up.
You have Christmas coming up.
So that Monday when you actually have to go back to work after four days of just eating,
you know, drinking everything and you probably have to deal with traffic or flights when you're
coming back on Sunday, that day sucks.
Okay, here's one.
This is especially true for school, but it also counts for a job.
Whenever you have a really, really, really bad zit, that is a bad day to go into work.
Yeah.
And that's all you're thinking about.
Do you still have that happen?
Yeah.
Occasionally, sometimes.
It's tough.
But I'm saying like, remember those days, especially in high school, and you just know it's going
to be...
Yeah.
Everyone's going to be looking at my zit today.
Yeah, that's a tough one.
Double bonus if you have a cold sore.
Mmm.
That's probably a...
That's a real tough one.
Pretty tough day.
Yeah.
It's relatable.
My next one will be just the first day of school for middle schoolers and high schoolers.
Like, it's good for college because you just party, but you have the summer reading you
hadn't read, you have to figure out how to cram.
Ooh.
I actually think the first day...
It's like the second day is really bad.
The first day you got that tan, you got your new clothes, you're looking hot, you're checking
everyone out.
Like, hmm, it's nice to be back.
It's the second day that's true.
You got fat over the summer?
Yeah.
The Monday after the first week of school.
Yeah.
Because that's when the work has caught up to you.
Yeah, the first actual day is kind of fun.
And you realize you have the full year ahead of you.
Yeah.
The second day of school when you show up and you're like, what, we're doing work today?
Yeah, we're doing this.
Yeah, like, wait, you need to let me ease in.
So, all right.
And then my second one will be the Monday, the first Monday when it's snowing and you
think you're going to have like work or school called off, but you still have to go in.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
That's bad, yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
My third one is going to be...
I'm going to go with the Tuesday after your team loses a late Monday night football
game.
Mm-hmm.
That's tough.
And you've stayed up until like 1 a.m. and you're just, you're stinking of shame and
probably also alcohol.
Mm-hmm.
That's a bad one.
All right.
I'll go similar to the Monday night football, that second Monday in January when you lose...
Because, you know, they always do the national championship game on that first Monday and
that second Monday when you're like, wait, what?
So now I got to watch like Pitt play fucking Syracuse or something at like six o'clock
at night.
That sucks because Monday night football is the savior for everybody's Monday in the
fall.
Yep.
Especially for gamblers.
They don't have anything to look forward to on Monday night till football comes back.
That sucks.
And then my last one is going to be the Monday or day after the Christmas office party when
you're just like, oh, what did I do?
Yeah.
What did I say?
What did I do?
How drunk was I?
Yeah.
Everyone's gossiping.
People come in late.
That sucks.
I had on mind the Monday in high school after you did something embarrassing at a party.
Mm-hmm.
Because everyone's...
Here's what it is.
It's like two days to come up with a nickname for you at that point based on and prepare
their roasts of you.
So everyone's bring their A material on that Monday morning.
Although it might happen to me.
It might happen to me.
Snapchat and everything.
It might already go, you know, I mean like you get it out of the way.
The millennials.
Yeah.
All right.
Is that your last pick?
No, no.
That's what I was going to have.
But yours was too similar.
So I'm going to call an audible.
I'm going to say the first Monday of spring break the year after you graduated from college.
So you got...
Wait.
Huh?
Yeah.
On spring break.
Got it.
But all your friends that might still be in college, you're still like kind of connected
with the college scene.
You're at work and you realize, oh, I don't have an entire week off of work every, every
March anymore.
So when spring breaks going on?
When spring breaks going on and you've just entered the workforce.
Got it.
Got it.
Yep.
From my last one, I will go with the Monday after the first beach Sunday of the summer.
So usually pretty responsible, whatever, and then it's Sunday, it's super hot.
You're like, I'll go to the beach, have a couple beers, that turns into a couple dinner
beers, and you're drunk.
And then the next day you're like sunburnt, hungover, jumping off a bridge.
Summertime is definitely the like, I could just drink all Sunday and deal with this Monday.
Yeah.
I mean, it's generally accepted that if the weather is nice, you should be getting drunk.
Yeah.
One that we missed the first Monday after that Kentucky Derby big fight NBA playoffs weekend,
which is like the first, that's basically the first weekend of summer, unofficially.
What about the Monday when there's a US open all day playoff going on?
Well, not for us because we're bloggers.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
That's like the best thing ever.
That's the fucking best thing ever.
But like when Tiger Woods was doing that playoff, everyone was at work and they were
like trying to, the boss button got used a lot that day.
Yep.
Big time.
Big time.
All right.
So we're going to put those out.
Pardon my take, vote for it.
Tell us what we missed.
I'm sure we missed some Mondays.
I'm happy that none of us fell into the trap of saying the Tuesday after Labor Day because
that actually is the best day of the year because that means all football is back.
Yes.
And you get that Thursday, you get that the Tuesday after Labor Day, you have the Thursday
night football, then, then Saturday college, Sunday, then double Monday night.
That's the fucking best.
That's like literally my favorite day of the year when it's like I have the whole entire
sandwich in front of me.
All right.
What about flashing back to like high school, let's say that you were on the football team,
you lost a big game or you did something really bad in the game on Friday night and
then you have to go in on Monday.
Do you have any, do you have any kind of like injury or something that makes everyone be
like, whoa, that guy's a badass.
Yeah.
Well, chickstick scars.
That would be better.
Yeah.
But I'm saying like if you lost a big game or something.
Yeah.
That would be really bad.
Hypothetically.
That would be really bad.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Really bad.
All right.
Let's do our second Mount Rushmore.
This one's a little special because while we were out, we missed Ravel's 40th birthday,
which is he aging like Benjamin Button, dude, because I was shocked last year when he was
on the 40 under 40 list.
Yes.
Ravel is like total, total like Ravel move.
He had like a week long birthday.
Every fucking night.
Birthday week.
Birthday week.
I'm going to eat this because it's my birthday.
Ravel eats so much shit, but he doesn't even eat it.
He just, he doesn't eat it for fun.
He eats it to tell everyone about it.
As an honorary millennial, you don't actually have to eat something to eat something as
long as you order it and then you take a picture of it that counts as you eating it.
So Ravel decided that he was going to impart 40 rules of living from 40 years on earth by
Darren Ravel because everyone needs advice from Darren Ravel.
Here's how to be more like Darren Ravel.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah, sign me up.
Yeah.
So this is our Mount Rushmore of his 40, 40 rules of living from 40 years on earth.
This is Mount Rushmore of his worst ones.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, I guess it could go both ways.
Yeah.
You're mileage may vary.
You want to go first?
You go first.
I'll go second.
Okay.
And Hank will third.
All right.
My first one is if you have to pay interest on something, you can't afford it.
So I mean, I guess nobody should own a house.
Yeah.
So and so Darren Ravel wants to make everyone homeless.
Yeah.
And he also had like a few before that it was like something about leasing cars.
Always lease a car instead of buying it.
Oh, shit.
My bad.
Do you, were you going to do that one?
I was sorry.
Okay.
My bad.
You can still do it.
No.
Well, we'll act shocked.
I'm sorry.
Wait, do it.
We'll act shocked.
No.
Wait, did Darren Ravel by saying that?
Did he just say that the U.S. government can't afford to do anything?
Is it U.S. government's insolvent?
Yes.
All right.
So Darren Ravel 40 tip under, or turning 40 is he basically just did an Instagram like
the, the laugh while no one, or dance like no one's watching.
So he said, cry no matter who is watching.
That's not a good tip.
It's not.
Yeah.
If like, if a girl you're trying to impress is watching, don't just start crying.
Well, no, unless you're crygaziming, which as we learned is, it's true, it's super hot.
If you're, if you have no reason to cry, if you're crying at work, because your bosses
means you, I think that's a bad reason.
That's a bad time to cry.
Like there's, there's definitely times when I'm not cry shaming people, but there's
definitely times when you should not cry.
My first one would be, don't fear death.
It's a waste of time.
Cause that just made me think that like at some point in Ravel's life, he was like sitting
in his room terrified of death.
And then after like two years, it was like, oh, oh, shit.
Yeah.
Um, also like from an evolutionary standpoint, there's a reason why we fear death.
It's because it's bad and we want to be around to fuck more and create.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So technically if you're fearing death, it just means that you're super horny.
Right.
So Darren Ravel, why don't you put your money where your mouth is and start just doing like
those stupid wing suits that dudes do off of mountains.
Get sponsored by Red Bull.
Fucking loser.
All right.
Thanks.
My second one is play scratch offs instead of Lotto.
At least you're going to have fun.
Just play them all.
Yeah.
You got to take 50, 50.
You got to take chances if you're going to win money, so it's like.
You actually have to.
It's not about, it's not about, you don't play the Lotto to have fun.
It's actually for someone who pretends he's like a econ.
Major, you know, he, you diversify your portfolio by playing the lottery, the 50, 50 and the
scratch offs.
That's very true.
Also a portion of your money playing the Lotto goes to schools.
True.
So does Darren hate school children and learning?
Those are really hard questions that we need answers to.
All right.
Let's see.
I'm going to go with bass or underrated sore bass salts.
So I mean, bass are not underrated.
I think they're very properly rated.
Yeah.
You sit in your own filth.
That's why showers exist.
Jacuzzi's are awesome.
Bath, just sitting in like still water, kind of gross.
Bass salts, also that just seems like a lot of work.
I'm okay with an occasional bath.
Like once a year bath, but just being like, I think baths are very properly rated.
Now you know what isn't properly rated is sitting down in a shower because that's awesome.
Yeah.
Or a shower beer or shower dip.
That's what we call a man bath is sitting in a shower.
Yes.
All right.
You have two PFT.
I'm going to go with, there's nothing better than eating things out of a container.
It's like, what is that?
So true.
So true.
What the fuck is that?
Here's a list of things that are objectively better than eating things out of a container.
Drinking things out of a container.
Coming.
Much better.
Oh, that's a good one too.
Yeah.
Coming into a container and then leaving it in the fridge.
Yeah.
That's actually better.
I was throwing the container in the trash.
Yes, exactly.
Yes.
Yeah.
Coming, yeah.
Eating a whole tire pint of Ben and Jerry's and coming into that.
Disgusting.
You just said you ate an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's out of a container.
Yeah.
But then I came in.
And then you came in.
And then you came in.
And then you came in.
Coming in, it was better.
Yeah.
Let's see.
I'm going to go with invest in comfortable underwear and a good mattress because as
we know on this show, Lisa and Miandis are not a big investment.
They're very, very cheap and they're great so you don't actually have to break the bank
to be comfortable.
Okay.
So I'm going to go, my next one is going to be spend time with five good friends instead
of looking to please 20.
Ravel is just basically being like, he doesn't have a lot of friends.
No.
So he's pretending that this is great advice like, hey guys, limit your friend group because
you'll just have more fun spending time with just yourself.
Yeah.
He's like, yeah, I went through a really awkward time where I had like 20 great friends and
they were all like, hey Darren, come hang out with us.
Here's a good life tip.
Instead of having five good friends, just make one great imaginary friend.
That will get you a long way in life guys.
Hey Darren, can you come hang out with all 20 of us and tell us why our choice of Blue
Moon is actually not a great beer?
Oh man.
Yeah.
You'd never in your life had 20 friends, Ravel.
Never.
My next one is-
It's because you ordered those pizzas with anchovies on them.
Yeah.
Northwestern dorms were fucking lit.
Your life is never too busy to not have time for mini golf.
If you played mini golf more than like 10 times a year, you're probably a psychopath.
Mini golf is fun on vacation, but you realize after like 10 holes, you're like, yeah, all
right, I've had enough mini golf.
Yeah.
If you're not within 15 miles of a beach, you shouldn't be playing mini golf.
Right.
You basically play mini golf when you pass it on a highway and you're like, I haven't
played mini golf in seven years.
Let me play once.
Darren's hanging out next to the holes, telling everybody his tips on them, like the little
kids.
Right.
Now this is a windmill hole.
You want to hit it like in between the slots.
Also, you play mini golf just so that you can get the ice cream after.
Like that's really what we're- that's really- you're just working for the ice cream.
You are at that 19th hole where you can hit it and win a free game of mini golf.
Yes.
You only play mini golf to potentially win a free game of mini golf.
You're stuck playing mini golf for the rest of your life.
All right.
And then my last one is back up your photos because the fappening happened and that's
actually bad.
Yeah.
That's a really bad advice.
Stay clear of the cloud.
Yeah.
All right.
I'll go with my last one.
This is tough.
I'll go with medium rare is the only way to order a steak.
No, that's true.
I actually agree with that.
I disagree because if you go to a bad, like a chain steak place, you sometimes want to
go medium because you never try- you can't really trust it.
And also, medium rare plus exists for a reason.
No, you don't do that.
Yes, it does.
Medium rare plus exists for a reason.
If it said medium rare plus is the only way to order a steak.
Also, if you never order a steak rare, yeah, it's delicious.
Right.
Exactly.
So this is not- it's just like factually not true.
Like you change it depending on the restaurant you go to.
All right.
Like if you go to a shitty restaurant, I'll sometimes go medium.
If you go to a really high end, I'll go rare.
I just say medium rare every time.
It's like a reflex for you.
Yeah, right.
Path of love's dog.
Plus.
So I get one more, right?
Yep.
There's just so many good ones to choose from here.
I think I'm going to go with kiss everyone who makes you happy every day.
So that's a lot of kissing.
That's a lot of kissing.
That's a lot of kissing.
That's maybe in some cultures.
Maybe it reveals Italian.
I don't know.
But in this culture, I think it'd be kind of weird if I just kissed everybody that may
be happy.
Yeah.
You don't- yeah.
I mean, it's a lot of re-vel kissing.
Like that's the thing you have to remember here.
This is re-vel.
I think re-vel is just laying down the groundwork like, hey, I'm going to start kissing people
a lot now.
That's something I'm going to do.
Yeah.
There's also a few that are on there that are just so- like when you- they're not terrible-
it's not terrible advice, but then you realize that it's re-vel giving it and you're like,
no, that's the worst advice.
Like when he said, become obsessed with one part of history, learn every detail.
He's talking about Gatorade.
Yeah.
And that's the dumbest advice ever.
Who would ever-
Like we don't need a book on Gatorade, dude.
Who would ever become obsessed with one part of history so much?
That sounds really dumb.
Yeah.
It's true.
Oh, you know who was obsessed with one part of history?
It was Hitler.
Mm.
What part?
He was obsessed with like 19th century Germany and how great it was.
Yeah.
So if you're- if you know any- if you know so much about one part of history that you're
forced to tell these sorts of boring stories-
Yes.
...to your coworkers-
Yes.
...then there's a problem.
Hand up.
Big time.
Big time problem.
He also just ripped off like a bunch of sappy like hallmark cards.
Yeah.
Never go to bed without making up with a loved one.
Thanks, dude.
Interesting no matter how bad your voice is.
Yeah.
That's someone with a bad voice I can tell you that's gonna piss a lot of people off.
Yeah.
Really bad advice.
Yeah.
Really bad advice.
The last one I saw that was interesting was be good at five impressions.
Choi O'Oil provided is amazing.
Yeah.
What five impressions do you think Ravel has?
That's not his family members.
Yeah.
We gotta figure this out.
We gotta get to the bottom of this.
I'm gonna go- I feel like Ravel does like a lame 1920 style gangster.
Yeah.
Yeah.
See?
I bet he does that one.
He does that.
Yeah.
Or like some kind of Broadway show-tuning guy.
Hey.
I'm here to tell you about-
I'm here to tell you about-
I'm here to tell you about Lemon Lime.
It was the original flavor and they changed the formula.
Like a Steve Martin routine from when he was a kid.
Yeah.
He probably does something like super like an Allen Greenspan or something like that's
super boring about like economics.
Oh no.
He definitely does a Trump but his Trump is just like saying-
It's so bad.
It's just saying whatever he's gonna say like, hey check out these new- did you hear Oreo
has quadruple stuff now?
Very fake news.
And then he ends it all-
Sad.
Every single time he ends it with your fight.
Yeah.
Every single time.
He doesn't have to do anything.
He probably does like all the commissioners too.
All the leaks.
He does a fucking killer Goodell.
Yeah.
He does a great impression of every single big brand's marketing firm that sends him
a press release to repeat.
Or he does a billbilla check where he just mumbles and thinks it's hilarious every time.
Yeah.
Snap face.
Was that a shot?
No.
Was that a shot?
No.
Was that a shot at PFT?
No.
Snap face.
Felt like a shot.
No.
Felt like a shot.
Felt like a shot.
All right.
Let's do our who's back and let's get to CJ McCallum.
So, PFT, start us off.
Who's back?
Okay.
My who's back of the week.
We're only doing one this week, right?
Yeah.
We're only doing one.
We slam them out.
Every week.
Who's back?
It is who's back.
Okay.
My who's back of the week is Markel Foltz.
He's back.
Because Drew Hanlon, NBA's skills coach and consultant, he tweeted out to Sixers fans,
dot, dot, dot.
Get excited.
And he's been working with Foltz.
Oh.
He can actually shoot.
We're just a few short hours from seeing a grainy, like, Zapruder-style gym video of
Markel Foltz making, like, exactly one three-pointer.
Yeah.
Shooting one free throw.
It's not an air ball.
Wow.
Markel Foltz.
Get excited.
Their first pick might actually be back.
So, now they have two first picks actually going into next year.
Yeah.
Kevin White and Markel Foltz.
Kevin White and Markel Foltz.
All right.
Hank, go.
My who's back of the week is cigarettes.
So, a new study came out of 20,000 Americans and it revealed that young people are a lot
more likely to report being lonely than senior citizens.
And it turns out that loneliness has the same effect on morality as smoking 15 cigarettes
a day.
On morality?
On morality?
Mortality.
Mortality.
Okay.
Making it even more dangerous than obesity.
So, if you're lonely, just smoke a bunch of cigarettes and you'll actually be healthier.
Well, that's also, that's doubly true because then you get to hang out with all the smokers
that are outside.
True.
You make new friends there.
I just quit smoking today.
Yeah.
All right.
My who's back is all of us because, I don't know if you saw, but Jay-Z got dragged online
for his little jet ski photo.
That was a new one, right?
Mm-hmm.
All right.
I like missed all that.
I woke up one day.
I was like, oh, that was, that happened yesterday?
Yeah.
I was like, we have a new meme?
Yeah.
But it just proves that like the internet comes for everyone and kind of elevates everyone
else.
Like Jay-Z has all these millions.
He's one of the best rappers of all time, but he can still get clowned like everyone's
dad.
And he got fucking roasted.
I mean, he looked ridiculous.
Mm-hmm.
You can't jet ski with a helmet and a full shirt on.
Right.
Did he have, right?
He's wearing like a Patrick Ewing shirt underneath his life vest.
Did he have goggles on?
No.
He didn't have goggles.
I feel like I dreamt that part of it.
I thought, I also, I understand what you're saying because I also for one moment thought
he might have had like biker gloves to like protect his hands.
So yeah.
He got Jay-Z.
Whew.
That's pretty bad.
But it makes us look good.
I would never wear a helmet.
I would.
Yeah.
Never.
Well, yeah.
If I'm going jet skiing, I'm definitely not going to wear any more like safety apparatus
than necessary.
Like what you do when you're on a jet ski, you put on the life vest, if like the person
that's lending you the jet ski hands you one, and then you unclip that sucker the first
second you're there.
Yeah.
And you say, babe, hold me tight.
Mm-hmm.
So it's going to get bumpy.
Mm-hmm.
And then things happen, you know?
It's a pretty good setup.
Yep.
Because the girl's sitting behind you.
I've actually never been on a jet ski.
So.
But it seems cool.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's go to CJ McCollum.
We have a great interview with CJ McCollum.
He came in right before we went on break.
And really cool guy sat with us for like 45 minutes.
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All right, here he is, CJ McCollum.
We now welcome on CJ McCollum from the Portland Trailblazers.
He has a podcast.
It is called Pull Up Pod.
So you're kind of squatting on our corner here where, you know, your basketball player
who decided he was going to podcast.
We can get into that because I got a tweet that it's outrageous.
We need to start ranking these weak ass journalists with descriptions of their strengths, weaknesses
and ability to make up sources.
What are we just, we're just eye candy for you.
You just rank us like hot or not, that's very problematic.
I think when you reverse the rules a little bit, people get uncomfortable.
You know what I mean?
I'd say so.
We're analyzed.
Rank us.
Would you rank us right now?
How would you say we are?
So far.
It's obvious you guys are doing a terrific job.
You guys are number one on the charts and I'm pretty far behind you guys.
So that kind of shows you, you guys are really good at your job.
What are weaknesses just from looking at us?
You can say my weight.
It's a struggle with it.
You can say that I've got stupid hair.
Yeah.
I don't, I don't really know what your weaknesses are right now.
I need more time to kind of analyze the situation.
Then I have to go back and listen to a lot of previous podcasts.
You know what?
It's consistency.
Waiting until you get out of our locker room to talk shit on us.
That's actually a big time journalist move.
So you're.
Is this considered locker room?
Yeah, this is a locker room.
Yeah.
Well, we'll get into that.
But I would say my biggest weakness as a journalist is that oftentimes I become best
friends with guys I interview, so then they give me their number and we text all the time
after.
So then when you talk about them.
When we talk.
After this.
Then after, after it's all over, we're such close friends that we won't ever talk shit
about you on the show anymore.
But then you'll give us court side tickets when the Blazers come and play in New York.
And scoops.
Those are expensive.
Yeah, I know.
But that's like when LeBron's visiting or something.
Do you want us to bash you or not?
I mean, we are pay for play journalists.
What do they say?
Any publicity is good publicity, so you guys are going to talk about me, talk loud and
clear so they can get my name right and spell it right.
Okay.
Yeah.
I saw you going toe to toe with Stephen A. Smith and Max Kalerman.
What was that like?
That was fun.
I met Stephen A. Smith years back.
He actually is very, very good friends of one of my mentors, Gary Howard, who's a Lehigh
grad.
He used to be the editor-in-chief of Sporting News, so Stephen A. is very loud.
He's knowledgeable and controversial, so I knew he was going to come at me and try to
get me to say something crazy on national television, but I helped my composure pretty
well.
And I think everybody has a right to their own opinion and that's like you can't get
mad if somebody thinks certain things about your game or thinks that you're not a fit
or that you could be a better fit somewhere else.
You have to respect it.
And that's how I've always been.
Some people like my games, but I hate my game.
I don't really care because they're not writing my checks.
Did you prepare for your debate against Stephen A. Smith?
You know how like presidents, they'll have somebody stand in for their opponent.
Did you have like, I don't know, like a pit bull with his nuts being squeezed into vice
that you were practicing debating against?
No, I was going through the car wash, essentially.
I was on a lot of morning shows on radio.
I went on ESPN live, did some live hits with Sports Center, and I was kind of just walking
all across that huge campus and just trying to make it on time to each segment.
Did you go to the cafeteria?
Yeah.
I did.
Three times Jinx.
Yeah.
They have really good smoothies.
Mm-hmm.
Turkey burgers at...
Man card.
To die for.
Yeah.
Man card.
They had...
Turkey burgers.
Yeah, waffle fries right before I cut out.
Okay.
Get back.
And switched over to sweet potato fries.
Mm-hmm.
I got me some waffle fries.
They were sensational.
Do you, what's your diet like during the season?
Do you have to eat clean all season long or do you give yourself a cheat day?
I eat pretty clean.
I just say 85, 80% clean chef does a good job of mixing up.
Shout out to Chef B.
Chef B.
Shout out to Chef B.
You can follow him on the Grammast Chef.
I think it's Chef B Kitchen Assassin.
I will.
Yeah.
Chef B Kitchen Assassin?
Yeah.
Actually, go to my Instagram and you'll be able to find it.
Speaking of Instagram, mine's 3J McCullum in case you guys were wondering.
Okay.
Nice.
Yeah, I wasn't, but now I am.
That's actually a great name.
Yeah, 3J McCullum.
But he does a great job of mixing things up and cooking healthier versions of things I
like him.
I'm 20, 21 days, no dairy so far.
I had a little bit of butter in my lobster during the day, but I cut it out, did a food
sensitivity test and my body wasn't responding well to dairy.
It was causing inflammation to my body.
It was raising my allergies and my sinuses and I just felt like change was needed and
I feel great.
You know what you can do if you're allergic to dairy, you can just drink paint.
If you drink white paint, that's what Bruce Arians taught us.
White paint?
Is it better than almond milk?
Yeah, way better.
Almond milk gives you tits.
Yeah.
That's why Stephen A. Smith used to drink it and he's like, I want those titties.
That's what he said.
That's true.
I think he just refuses to work out.
Yeah, that too.
That too.
Wait, I'm looking for him right now.
Chef B.
Kitchen assassin.
Kitchen assassin.
Is it all one word?
That is a great question.
Let me check it out.
Kitchen assassin.
Anybody get mad followers off this?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, that's a good one.
Oh, he changed it.
Oh, wow.
Chef underscore B underscore PDX.
Okay.
I like kitchen assassin a little bit better.
Kitchen assassin.
Any tips from us about how to be a journalist?
Absolutely.
Please give me tips on how to become number two in sports podcasts.
Okay.
We'll sprinkle them in.
You know, we'll sprinkle them in.
Here's one.
When you say, here's a good question before you ask a question, then you already trick
to thinking it's a good question.
So here's a good question.
How bad of a teammate is Evan Turner?
Evan Turner is one of the best teammates I've ever had in my life.
You guys need to have him on a podcast.
He's one of the funniest individuals I've ever come in contact with.
Okay.
And Mark Titus is a friend of ours, used to play with Evan Turner, said, not so much.
So, but that's a little journalist tip.
You say, here's a good question.
Seriously?
I think they just fuck with each other.
I think they're good friends.
And Evan Turner has been on a million teams.
So you like to, like, I like to do the whole, oh, well, he's one of the dopest individuals
on this earth.
What happened with the car that just like randomly went into his pool?
Oh, that was crazy.
So he played the practice that day too.
Truck drivers brakes went out when he was turning and he looked like I'm going to kind
of go up the mountain, so to speak.
And they, there was no guard rail or anything like that.
And he just went off and right into E.T.'s pool.
Luckily, there was only like, I don't know, a foot of water in there.
But it was just such a, I don't know why it was just such a funny Evan Turner story to
have that randomly happening.
And almost if it would have hit his house, it would have been destroyed.
He got so lucky.
He went to the pool.
And also there were no people sitting at the pool.
Right.
And the driver could have drowned, could have got trapped because they had the water cover
on.
He could have got trapped underneath.
Underneath the truck, it would have been a problem.
Imagine if his house got destroyed and he would have had to sell a lemon when he got
traded halfway through the season, like always.
That would have sucked.
He made it through two seasons so far.
Oh yeah, that's true.
So we started knocking on wood.
I have kind of a serious basketball question for you.
Playing out in the Western Conference, obviously everybody talks about Golden State going into
every single season.
They do?
Yeah, well we do.
It's the first time I've heard that name.
We talk about Golden State so long.
Do you do the thing where you won't even say their name?
Yeah.
I've been worried.
Yeah, like who are they?
I've never heard of Kevin Durant.
Kevin Durant.
What's that?
Yeah.
How many burners do you have?
No, I told you.
Look at my tweets.
Whatever I say, whatever I think I say for the most part, I try to not to curse too much
because that looks bad and there's kids following me and curse words are terrible.
They're fucking awful.
They are.
They are.
But honestly, people get mad because I tweet, you know, as a fan sometimes because I'm a
fan of basketball.
So I'll be watching the game and I'll tweet my thoughts in the game or I'll say, like,
I felt like such a such shit and didn't touch it such, you know, be like, look at you hating.
I'm like, how am I a hater?
I'm friends with these guys.
I'm not a hater.
I've known Draymah like I always say, since he was a chubby kid at Michigan State.
So like, I'm not a hater.
Like I'm friends with these dudes.
I would take a shot with all of them for the most part.
So you're saying that this Twitter account I just found 3J McCollum, 42069, who tweeted
at someone saying just because he has a podcast doesn't mean he isn't working out finding
new slant.
That's not you.
Did I say that?
No.
Someone said that.
I don't know.
Did you?
Someone said it about me just because he has a podcast.
That's me.
He's not working out.
Exactly.
Was that you?
That was you, though.
No, that wasn't me.
I just made that one.
I might have slipped them a few dollars.
Yeah.
That's another journalist trick.
If you can't find a tweet that's incriminating, just make one up.
I was like, ah, be somebody taking my size so I'd like to see.
So I actually, I saw that story, I think it was actually a couple of days ago when you
said something about how you, you know, not putting every single workout on Instagram
doesn't mean you're not working out.
I tend to disagree.
I would like to see more box jumps and slow motion, but how annoying is that when you
just are in the off season and you're trying to enjoy yourself and fans are chirping you
being like, are you going to get back in the gym knowing you're probably in the gym every
day?
Exactly.
I mean, it's part of the lifestyle, but sometimes it's frustrating because it's like the saying
goes, like a teacher does a tweet, going to work today, going to teach the student,
taking pictures, teaching my kids, you know what I mean, a doctor's not like operating
on the table like I always do.
It's a slippery slope, but a lot of fans want to see that.
They want to see the progressions.
They want to see what you're working on.
Some people are fans in general and just want to steal workouts from you.
So it's not encouraging for them to only see, you know, the pictures of you on yachts and
with your belly out and, you know, enjoying concerts or drinking milk, you know, you can't
drink milk on a fashion shows or just relaxing and eating food and looking like you're having
fun because you're supposed to be miserable after you lose, I guess, and just staying
in a cave.
That's true. Everyone that doesn't win an NBA championship should not should not travel
outside their state and you should never put, you shouldn't post on Instagram unless
you're working out and you can only work out 23 hours a day.
You only get one hour to yourself.
Yes, that's true.
You get to sleep, maybe play a little Fortnite.
So that's that's to send your playbook.
Yeah, that's true.
How, how miserable with all that said, how long did it take you to get over the sweep
this year? Because that one kind of came out of nowhere.
Yeah, that one hurt. That one hurt. I remember going on KG's area 21 in FaceTime with him.
And he's seen me sitting there. I was eating Italian food, drinking some wine, watching
the game, just shaking my head. It sounds very depressing, right?
And he's like, come on, man, you got it. You got to get out of the dark, man.
I see you look like you were sitting in the basement. You're still down.
He's like, you just basically got to, you know, move forward, understand, you know,
what you could have done better, how you can get better going forward.
And, you know, enjoy your summer. And I think from that day on, I took a couple of days,
probably a week or two to where I was just disappointed, thinking about it, watching
the film. And then you kind of flush it, figure out ways to improve, rewatch the film later
on and man up, look yourself in the mirror and figure out, for one, did you play as hard
as you could? Yes. Did you do everything in your power from a, from a studying film standpoint
to getting your sleep, to eating right, to getting your reps? Yes. And I did all those
things. So you live with the result and the results are, we got swept. Now I have to figure
out how to get better, how to take the things I did to another level, be more efficient,
continue staying in the course, stay healthy and continue to figure out ways to empower
my teammates and live with the results. Again, whatever, whatever happens, the upcoming season,
you can live with it as long as you did all you could.
I've wondered for a while about, you know, players that are at your level right now,
you know, you're capable of going out and dropping, you know, 40, 50 points a night,
if you feel like it. What do you work on in the off season to actually improve? Like
you work on a new move. Do you know, oh, do you know the Hezzie Jimbo? The Hezzie Jimbo.
Who? I like the Hezzie Jimbo. I like the real basketball head like me. I like the Hezzie
Jimbo, but you got a Hezzie off the Jimbo. Oh, okay. So like you bought the shoot, no,
got you into the Euro. Hang on. So you fake Jimbo, Hezzie, then Euro? You fake Jimbo,
Hezzie, Euro. That's filet. Okay. What's filet? I got to get the filet. My game is actually just
travel a little, then pass the ball because everyone realized I just traveled and then
just kind of stand out of the line. You're a good cutter. Yeah, good cutter. Maybe the first few
possessions and I get tired. You're a spacer. Yeah, then I'm a spacer. But what do you do at
your level to like actually improve your game? Like is there a move that you work on? Is there a
different skill set that you work on? That's a great question. I think, I think, great question.
Thank you. That's another, that's another journalist. When somebody compliments your question,
you take the time to. And then your co-host doubles the compliment. Yeah. Okay. You were saying.
Excellent question. Back to PFT's great question. Basically, you, you watch a lot of film, figure
out, you know, strengths, weaknesses, what you're good at, what you're not so good at,
and you continue to build on your strengths and then you work on the weaknesses. And I think for
me, to continue to work on my body was one of the big points of emphasis from a balance standpoint,
strength standpoint core. And that'll help the lateral quickness. That'll help continue to tighten
things up offensively and defensively. So I've been spending some time in Miami, DBC is where
Oladipo brought a lot of those guys. Their trainers are, they have biomechanics to kind
of study your body, figure out some of the deficiencies in your movements and joints and
ligaments and all that stuff. So started there and just kind of tighten the body back up before
you get back on the court and progressed to going through moves, obviously working on moves,
continue to tighten up, you know, stuff I do consistently, shooting, dribbling, passing,
and then you take the movements that you've done in the weight room and add them to the court.
So slides, figuring out how to get in and out of your cuts, coming off screens,
figure out how to chase better. Cause like you said before, that team up in the West Coast
conference, who seems to be in the finals every year, they got a lot of guys who run off screens.
So you got to be able to chase tight, avoid, avoid screens and being shape enough to
still score on offense, which is very, very hard doing this league. So that's the next step.
Just continue to get better on both sides of the ball and it all starts with your overall body.
What about a hook shot? Maybe like a baby? I do have a baby. If you take the gram out,
I posted something a couple of days ago and the last shot is a Euro. Okay. Off the Jimmy. Hey,
Hezzie. And then wrong foot, right hand. Okay. So hey is also Hezzie. Hey, yeah. Hey, hey, hey.
I got you. That's the Hezzie. Yeah, yeah. This when you're going down the street walking,
when we leave here and you're going on a street and you see a guy, hey, cross her, cross her up,
cross her over. Hey, Hezzie. Yeah, break the ankle up.
And she doesn't think that you're trying to say hello, but you tell you just work on your game.
Yeah. Yeah. How many times, how many ankles have you broken in your career?
In the NBA? In, in full career, high school, like growing up, everything. I've shattered.
I'm sure in the Patriot League, you probably broke a lot of ankles. I've, I've tweaked a lot of
ankles, a lot of crossovers, a couple of Hayes and they jumped and I didn't shoot it. So that
I make some look pretty, pretty stupid. Yeah. You're also a foot injury survivor. And I just
want to point out Bubba, our producer, is coming back from a pretty substantial foot injury.
I've seen the ankle brace. And a lot of other people are like,
I've seen the ankle brace, but I didn't want to comment on it.
You got any, any words of wisdom for him or hypothetically, anybody else that's had a foot
injury? How did you get hurt? Oh, well, well, a car hit a little Hezzie.
Yeah, I got hit by a car. Oh, you Hezzie to cross the street.
Yeah. No, and it was that casual. He texted us after he got hit by a car. He's like, Hey,
guys. So it was a Friday night. He's like, Hey guys, sorry. Oh, Friday night.
He's like, Hey, no, it was early though. It was like three o'clock in the afternoon. He's like,
Hey guys, sorry. I can't help work tonight because I just got hit by a car. Wow. So he
apologized to us. I'm sorry to hear that, man. You gotta be careful with those crosswalks. But
I think that the foot injury is the worst. It really allows you to dog bite dog. It depends
on where you get it. Yeah. But yeah, those your hand, your hand's pretty important. Yeah. I like
the little dogs. Yeah. My dog mess with big dogs. I'm just saying, like, what if you get a dog bite
in your hand? What are you going to be able to shoot? No, yeah, shoot through it all, man,
whatever it takes. What if it's like a lot of blood and you also didn't get a shot or medication?
So it got a little infected. What kind of dog? It was like a little like 15 pound dog. A little
15 pound dog. Yeah. Do that much. Well, it goes right through the finger. Right. Yeah. Sharp
teeth. Well, I did fracture my index finger in four different places. Oh, that sucks. Put the
splint on and just, hey. Oh, hey. It's a four week soft dog. Get some pins in there. Can we just say?
Get some pins in there? No, I didn't do the pins because they said I wouldn't be able to get my
full motion back in. That's the important finger. One of the fingers that touches the ball. That's
why I'm not in the NBA. I broke my finger when I was a sophomore in high school. Put pins in it.
So this joint right here, it doesn't straighten out. There you go. So that's probably why I'm
not in the picture. Also, my shooting form looks like Odell Beckham on bath salt.
The trigger doesn't need to be straight, though. It can be slightly bent. Oh. Oh, so maybe not
explicit. Throw that out. Throw that middle finger out. Yeah. What's it like? I mean,
you're the only one who's ever been drafted out of Lehigh. Did you get recruited anywhere else,
or was it? Lightly. I was lightly recruited by a few other schools. Bowling Green was another
school to offer me. University of deferment. Okay. Akron recruited me heavily. I wanted to
go to Akron, actually, but they had no scholarships left. And that's when Shaka was on staff at
Akron. He used to train me when I was younger. But they gave the scholarship to Zeke Marshall. He
was the top 50 center in the country. And yeah, he stole my scholarship. Miami, Ohio,
always recruited me, didn't offer me. So that's crazy because you were, I mean, we just had the
NBA draft. Like all these guys, you know, a lot of them, especially in the lottery, which you were
a lottery pick, were stars from high school, you know, from, from like sophomores in high school
on, and you basically had to take the path that not no one has literally no one has ever taken
from Lehigh to the NBA draft. The path less traveled. Yeah. It is interesting, though,
how you made that progression because you were a lottery pick. You got to the NBA and, and
obviously, like when you first entered the league, the level of competition has got to be
night and day compared to what you were going up against in the Patriot League, right? Yeah,
absolutely. How did they, how did you manage that transition? Well, I didn't really belong
in the Patriot League. So the transition is a little easier for me. Ooh. No, it's just what it is.
I was a little bit ahead of my Patriot League. Hey, cross them up. I'm out of there. But no,
I think it's just about how hard you work, honestly, in the confidence you have in yourself,
like you guys believe before this podcast even launched that we could be number one,
even when no one else believed it. And that's kind of how I've always been. That was my mentality.
It was, I was going to go out being me. I was going to go out Hezian and shooting jimbos. And
if I didn't make them, I didn't make them, but I was just going to do everything in my power to
put myself in a position to go out my way. Was there like a holy shit moment when you got to
the NBA and the players are all so much bigger and so much more athletic? Yeah, you try to go up
and do that normal layup that you're doing the Patriot League and somebody goes and grabs it.
That's the, oh yeah, these guys can jump a little bit higher in the pain than, than what I'm accustomed
to. But besides that, man, just the, the travel, the lifestyle, it's a lot you have to adjust to
playing 30 games versus 82. It's a lot and your body goes through some, some different changes.
So going into the NBA, you have been rumored for some trade stuff. What is that? Yeah,
just a few. What is that? Like just dealing with that day to day being like any moment I could
get the call from my agent being like, Hey, you've been traded. It's stressful at times,
but then you realize, like I always say, you work, you work hard every day, you control the
controllables, put your time in, get the treatment you're supposed to get, try to play well in big
games, being, be as consistent as possible and live with the results. And I always say it's,
it's nice to be wanted. You can look at it two ways. Like why, why is there always trade rumors or
I'm doing something right if there's trade rumors about teams actually wanting me. If no one wants
you, that's a potential problem. That means you're not doing everything right or you're just very,
very expensive and they can't afford you. And the multi-billion-dollar business,
everybody can be afforded. So I just try to play as hard as I can and block it out, but it's,
it's impossible. Literally, Bleach Report app comes to your phone. You're like, Oh, it's me again.
You should delete the Bleach Report app right now, actually. Do you have? Yeah, you should.
Do you have a alert song? Okay, that's one last subscription Bleach Report. Suck it. Do you have
alerts on Google alerts for yourself? I do not have Google alerts for myself, but friends,
teammates, group chats, they send me trades that work, trades that go through or potential
rumor trades. Clockwork moms, moms will call me and be like, Have you seen this one? So they're on
the trade machine. Hey, what do you think about this? And I'm like, Dad, I don't really, I don't,
I mean, supposed to get traded for five years and have a dad. Like I'm trying not to read this stuff
and he'll laugh it off, but they live in Ohio. So there's any cast rumor of the newspaper comes
out. Yeah, they want you home. They'll, they'll bring it up. Like, do you see this? Yeah.
Does that get annoying? Do you wish your friends didn't do that?
I think it's funny because a lot of times I'm unaware and they'll, they'll be like,
what's the truth to this? And I'm like, there's no truth to that. Or I have no idea. Like,
I don't know. You have to ask such and such. Like, I don't know. But I think it's funny because
they're, they're invested in my career. So they want, they want me to be in the best, best position
possible. Well, I asked that because I'm trying to figure out where we like fit in your group of
friends right now. So like, do you need a yes man? Do you need someone to like, what do you want
us to do? Fall guys, we could do, we will sign up for fall guys. They're always needed. Yeah.
So that's us. Don't need a yes man. Um, yeah, you're like, you don't, no, no, he's right.
Yeah. He's looking great. You're right. You're absolutely right. CJ. You don't, yeah. You're
always right. Vacation recommendation. Guy. Okay. Guy. Uh, Abiza. Sure. So we're just going to
be whatever that, what's that book, photos, photos. Go to sandals. Yeah. In Jamaica or,
uh, uh, what's it called? The hedonism. Yeah. That's what I was looking for. Also need
good restaurant recommendations in the city of Vegas. Guy Fieri's is up on Times Square.
Pretty good Portland. There's, oh, the donut place. Yes. Yeah. I went, uh, no, actually,
I was going to say I went there, but I waited. I saw the line and then I said, no, the line is real.
Yeah. I was like, fuck that. You have top pot up there. Is that just the top pot?
I'm not sure. It's talking about wheat. Oh, that's illegal. That's actually doing a shot.
Yeah. It's the one that golden tape broke out to because it was so good. And substance. Yes,
it is. It is. It's what legal in Oregon. Yeah. Do you watch Portlandia? I have been on Portlandia
and I have watched it humble brag. I was hurt my rookie year and since I was hurt, I got to be
in more scenes because I wasn't practicing. So it was like, I'm hurt, but hey, we need an extra.
Perfect. How true is that show? It's pretty accurate. It's got a lot of accurate settings and
scenes and it's a good show. It's very funny. It's very funny. Very funny. I have a serious
question. Portland is very weird. Yeah. They keep it weird. Keep Portland. They invented that slogan.
Keep Austin weird. Um, you grew nine inches in two years when you were in high school. That's
this is according to your Wikipedia. Huh. So first of all, hmm, that's what she said. How'd you do
that? Interesting. A lot of prayer, a lot of prayer. So prayer. Okay. Because I stretching
before I went to sleep was crucial. My dad actually graduated high school at five seventy six three
now. So I was just praying, God, don't let me graduate high school with five, seven, at least
let me get to six foot. Yeah. Because if you graduate high school five, seven, you might end
up in the Patriot League. Might ended up at it was it? Yeah. Yeah. You might be hosting a podcast
right now. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Being one of us. I'll be an extra. I'm actually five, nine and a
half and three quarters, five, 10. I'm basically five alone. Not really. Is he lying? Yeah. He's
lying. I'm five. So again, going back to the journalism aspect, I think you're doing a good
thing by all these media appearances. You're getting your name out there, but a little tip.
If you ever want to be asked back somewhere, steal something like Bill Walton was just on the jump.
He stole a framed picture of Bill Russell. They have to ask him back. Yeah. So if you take something
then not from here. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Stop looking around. Don't
look at that, Jeff Fisher. Why don't we do the other way? Why don't you give us your wallet?
Yeah. And then you have to come back and you have to come back and get it.
Well, how would I be able to pay for things? Well, just, just hit everybody with a hezzy.
So you gotta buy them. Yeah, you guys, you live in Oregon. Hezzy and through. Hezzy and through to
city. Got an app on your phone or something. I need my wallet, but what I can leave you is cash.
A pull up pod subscription. Oh, okay. That's fair. All right. One free
pull up pod subscription. This year you hit your career high 50 points against the Bulls
in January. Were you in the zone? I think I was in the zone. I think I was locked in. It was a
back to back. I was pretty tired, slept in a little bit. I think I went to sleep till like
four a.m. that night. It was one of those nights where you're just looking up stuff online, watching
Netflix, trying to pass time. Yep. Next thing you know, looking up stuff online.
A lot of videos all the time, you guys. That's a wall. Yeah, just looking up stuff online.
Next thing you know, the first quarter was over and I had 20 plus and I'm like, oh,
this is going to be a good night tonight. Could you feel it though? Could you feel like the basket,
you know? Yeah. Once I, once I hit the first couple of shots, the basket continued to open up
and the form was crisp. I didn't really feel like I was tired much and
coaches let me rock. Players kept feeding me, calling plays for me and kind of empowered me
to keep going. I keep scoring. I think somebody came up to me and was like, you're going to get
50 and I was like, I don't know. And they're like, no, if that. 50 burger. Were you mad,
were you mad that the game was over? Because you were like in a once in a lifetime type of zone?
I didn't even play a whole fourth quarter. Yeah. You only played three quarters messed up.
Do you think? I wasn't tripping, man. 50 and three is like, a lot of people can get 50 in a game.
Well, I don't know. A lot of people probably can't, but 50 and three quarters is special.
That means you're like a certified killer, like me, Clay, Dane, Coby, certified killers, Coby.
You should have, I mean, Coby would never have taken himself out of the fourth quarter. He'd
been like, coach, I'm going for eight and no one else is getting more. I'm going to score 40 in the
fourth. Do you think there's an asterisk though, because the bulls are tanking? I think there's
an asterisk by it because when I have kids, I can say I scored 50 and three quarters. What did
you do with your life? Against the tanking, against the tanking team. They're not going to remember.
I didn't think the Chicago Bulls, oh, the team Jordan played for you. Jordan was guarding me.
He's going to be like, oh, campaigners on that team. This is before campaign got on the team.
Yeah, true. He goes, he goes in and out. He just kind of lingers all the time.
Look, 50 is 50. I don't care if you do it at your, at your church, at your church league or the
community center. What about on Xbox? It's even tougher on Xbox. Yeah, it is. That's tough. You
got to be a real, actually, it's not that tough if you have the levels down. Do you play? You play
at 2K? Occasionally. Do you play as yourself? Yeah, we usually do random or I'll pick the blazes
of the Spurs or whatever player I want to play with at that time. Spurs, you like the Spurs?
Nothing wrong with the Spurs. You ever trade yourself to the Spurs? I've never traded myself
to the Spurs. What was the last team you traded yourself to? I've never traded myself anywhere.
I enjoy playing the game, but a lot of times we do random. Random means you get three random
selections. And if you go to the third random, you have to keep the team. So let's say you get
two teams you don't want to play with. I won't name them. You can name some teams you
wouldn't want to play with on 2K. The Magic. The Pacers. The Warriors, because I don't like
super teams. They're bad for you. Okay, so let's say you get them. You hit the random again.
And whatever you land on the third team, that's your team. Okay, so let's play that game. We'll
just play the random game game, team game. Suns. Are you hitting it again? Well, you can also go
back to it. Well, okay. Yeah, you can go back. Suns. So let's say we hit the random again. Yes.
Are you hitting the random again? Yes. Oh, pistons.
Hit the random one more time. All right, jazz. I'm taking the jazz. Oh, okay. See if you can call
him to the jazz. Wow. I'm talking about 2K. I like that. I like that. I like how you did that.
Linked. Have you ever put yourself in the trade machine? On ESPN? No, that's a yes. That's a
looking. That's after you look up stuff online late at night. Then you go to the trade machine.
Who said it has to be late at night? Well, you did. You said you didn't sleep. I was talking about
this particular incident where it was a back to back. We landed late. I had to research some
things. It could be in the morning. Yeah, I got to research some things. You got to plan your
vacations in advance for all star break. I got to research what makes me the most horny sometimes.
Don't you already know that? Oh, you got to take it out. You got to dabble. We all evolve. Yeah.
Do you play any other games? Are you a gamer?
Not really. I've played UNO before and Jenga. That wasn't what I was talking about.
Okay. I was talking like, do you want to do you want to squat up on Call of Duty with me?
I've never played Call of Duty before. Okay. All right. That's enough. I'm not very good at
those type of games. I could play. Yeah, I could play in FIFA Mario Kart. Xbox?
That would matter. What do you have? I have a PS3, but a PS3. Oh, is that you need a new
contract? What is it? Four now? Yeah. Four is out? How long ago did four come out? Five years ago?
So maybe I have a PS4. The problem is it's not at my house. It's at the rental property. I don't
really use it. Oh, where's the wait? What do you mean the rental property? I was renting a house
and then I bought one. I left it at the house I was renting. When did you buy a house?
You sure that's a good idea? Listen, guys, it was a great decision. The market is doing
extremely well. The value of the property has already risen. I actually bought the house
a year or two years ago. It sounds like you're doing really well. Can I have some cash? Yeah,
but I don't think you're supposed to buy a house if you're constantly on the trade block.
Like you're supposed to just live in a hotel. It's just rumors. Man, it's five years in, man.
Just rumors. Don't believe the rumors. Why would I want to live in a hotel? Also,
do you have a 501C3? We can set something up. Yeah. What is that? What were those?
It's essentially allowing me to get a tax write off. Okay. If I do decide to give you some money.
We can start your foundation for you. Yeah. You know what? It can be those guys. Here's an idea.
It can support struggling journalists out there. It can be called the CJ My Column Foundation.
My Column. Yeah. And then your first big break as a journalist is in five years when we
embezzle all your money and then you can write about it. Players Tribune, these two podcasters
took me for millions of dollars. Yeah. The inside story of a blog swindle. Yeah. Well,
you know, I got good accountants. They will never let you guys swindle money from me.
We're pretty good. Okay. We can talk. We can talk our way through it. Listen. We
we had people pay what $10,000 for our goldfish? Yeah. So 10K for a goldfish. Yeah. It's basically
a Ponzi scheme. So we know what we're doing. I think we know how to get away with fraud.
You guys do know what you're doing. Yeah. All right. Well, let's we'll wrap this up. I have a
C-keek question. Put in promo code take you get $10 off any C-keek purchase. Want to go see
the Blazers hard to get tickets to the? To Mota? At Mota? Yeah. At Mota? Yeah. It is. It's packed
house. Okay. All right. Yeah. I mean, the fans do look like they're pretty much, they're pretty
into it. That's one of the best. They wear the T-shirts. Yeah. They wear the T-shirts. All right.
You are from Canton. Yes, sir. I like that. How do you think the Browns are going to do this year?
Excellent. We're going to be very, very good this year compared to what we were last year.
Let's see what I did there. Zero wins last year. I'm calling it right now. Six to eight wins.
Whoa. Six to eight wins. We may be able to get, we may be able to go 97 and sneaking as a wild card.
We have Josh Gordon. We have great draft picks. We have Taylor, who's going to be the quarterback
for now until Baker's ready to take over the throne. I actually heard today that he's not,
but okay. Baker's, Baker's going to be. Baker's going to start? No, no, no. I heard that Baker
is like very impressed with Tyrod and he's saying. He's got to say that. Yeah. Baker's going to win
the job. Maybe he does. I don't care who wins the job. As long as they throw the ball to Josh
Gordon, Travis Landry. Four yards to Travis Landry. Four yards to Baker. He'll take a 10.
Although it's usually four yards when you need six. Do you have a tight end now?
We do. We have a tight end from last year and then we drafted another. Tight end from Miami.
Okay. Two years ago. He's very good. We drafted a running back from Georgia. We already have Carlos
High. Shout out to Carlos High. Shout out OH. They didn't want you. Why would you do that?
They didn't want you. That has nothing to do with the football team. Yeah, but it's still.
Don't do that. I mean, do you not root for Michigan too? I don't really care. I grew up
a Miami Hurricanes fan. Oh, Randall. I was a Sean Taylor fan. Best football player of all time.
I had the visor in everything when I played. Did you do the tape up stuff on the visor?
I take the visor. I had the backflap and I played quarterback. Could you have been a pro?
No. No, I probably could have. Maybe you got a scholarship somewhere? I could have got a scholarship
for sure. I stopped playing because I wasn't trying to go across the middle. They made a movie
from quarterback to receiver. I'm not going across the middle. CTE. CTE is real. Yeah, you don't need
that. That's a business decision you made. That's a smart one. I'm going to be able to play with my
kids. All right. One last. Let's do one last random. Hornets. What about them? You either hit
random again or you? It's 2K. Yeah, 2K. Hornets. I want to add this to my podcast. Hornets. Hornet.
I like Kimba, but I would hit a random just in case so I can go back to it. Just to see. Okay.
Wizards. I'll take the wizards. Oh, you're just going to run with the wizards. Wow. Okay. They're
very good video game team. Yeah, but there's only one ball, but you're right. Very, very,
very good video game team. The fact that they all hate each other doesn't come across electronically.
Do you think you're the missing piece to maybe like have everyone chill out on the
Warriors, not hate each other? On the Wizards? I'm talking about the video game, bro. If you
play with them on the video game, you got Otto Brad, you got KP, you got a lot of good players.
Yeah, I know you didn't say John Wall. Not a John Wall fan. I'm a big John Wall fan. I was just
with John in Miami. We're got the same place. So you'll play for the Wizards if they trade John
Wall first. That makes sense. Yeah. I'm happy and poorly, man. Like I said, I bought a house,
I want to live in that house as long as possible. Now he's trying to give me a move to the East
Coast already. You're worse than the baller. Who is KD? Call him Blog Boy. Oh yeah. Shout to the
Blog Boy. You know, we call KD Baby Back Bitch. Oh, that was a surprise. We do. Oh yeah. It's
very impressive. But he hates us. He hates Blog Boys. I think it's mutual love, honestly. I think
he was just confused. I think KD would have fun if you have his number. Can you call him right now?
I have his number. Oh, give him a call. I don't know if it's a good idea for me to call him while
I'm talking to Barstool. Why? Because I'm going to say he's a Baby Back Bitch. Like yeah, you're
right. You're right on that point. But that's just such a harsh word. Blog Boys is very
demeaning. Blog Boys is like, it's like a fun, loving, playful word. I don't think it's fun.
What we're from when you say the B word is things get out of hand in a hurry. Okay. Baby Back
B word. He's just a baby bitch. We will take out back. You are so disrespectful. Yeah, I know.
He started it. Yeah. Listen, I actually. He's a nice dude. I can't disrespect him. I'd love to have him on
sometime. Wait a minute. He's not going to come on here. I keep disrespecting him like that.
They're going to be nice. I'm talking about a two-time champ. KD, listen. I've totally switched. I
don't think you're a Baby Back Bitch anymore. No. I just think you're a baby. Yeah. People who say
that you're a BBB, you're actually a big baller brand. Good job. Shout out to big baller brand.
Yes, shout out to big baller brand. Shout out to Lee Nning. Anything is possible. Who? Hey. Oh. Who
else are we shouting out? Shout out to my Snapchat, cjm3. Shout out to my Big Brown. I'm about to
start. Shout out to Cleveland Browns. Shout out to Cleveland Browns. You're going to win a game this
year. We're going to win at least six games. Let's win more. Am I allowed to bet on football?
Yeah, I think so. Well, bam. I don't know if you are. Okay, so you give us your money. We'll
bet on football for you. I can't agree to that over the airway. So wink, wink, wink. We can bet
push-ups. All right, there we go. Let's get fit. Cj, thank you so much. Appreciate you. Everyone
subscribe, pull up pod. This has been fun. You're now a recurring guest. So anytime we want you
on, you have to come on. That's fine. Long as you guys continue to show my podcast love. Okay.
We'll shout it out every single once a year. I'm not going to say, I'm not going to say the team name
that you don't want me to say anymore on the podcast. Also, I'm going to say, I'm going to say this
right now because you, you have told us that Kevin Durant's not that bad of a guy and that we
got to stop. He's a really nice guy, man. Y'all can't be disrespecting him. I'll stop saying baby
back bitch. I appreciate that. Okay. Because he's a nice dude. He don't deserve to be treated like
this. Just a regular pussy. Oh my goodness. Y'all are incredibly disrespectful.
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ZipRecruiter.com slash PMT. ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. All right, let's get to
some segments before we do that. Breaking moves. The Lebron King of LA mural has already been
defaced. Yeah, so awesome. They put a bouncy on it. Dude, it says... They said, if someone goes
to this mural and defaces it, we will pay you 300 bucks and someone did it. They, someone wrote,
no, well, Kobe did it. Kobe, if you need 300 bucks, just, you know, I'm sure the Lakers will sign
you to like one of those one day deals. One day deals, yeah. You retire again. Just say I'll retire
as a Laker. Yeah, right. He says, we don't want you three and six, lay fraud, no king. Great job,
LA. Spot the lie. Yes, spot the lie. Well, embraced debate. Was it Kobe or was it Skip Bayless?
True, true. Skip, oh man. Skip's got to be so pissed off that Lebron's in his hometown.
I'm going to love what Skip's going to be doing with Lebron this time. I mean,
there's a good chance that Lebron beats up Skip Bayless at some point this year.
Yeah, or someone, some Maverick Carter. I feel like you just got to say that if, if someone's
going to do something for Lebron. He's a fall guy. Maverick Carter. Yeah. Yeah. All right.
Put some horse head and skip Bayless's bed. Yeah. Thoughts and prayers. We got thoughts
and prayers for the Croatian guy who basically went after all of Russia. You're going to say his
name? Say his name. Damagaj Vida. Okay. Damagaj. Damagaj. That's a badass name. That's a badass
name. He, what did he say? He said glory to Ukraine. Yeah. After. So that's, that's like
a rallying cry. It's an anti-Russian thing to say because remember Russia, Annex, people,
people don't remember it, but the Annex Ukraine during the Sochi Olympics. So he said glory to
Ukraine in an interview, I think, like right after the match. Here's where it gets interesting is
FIFA in their bylaws say that no player should make an overtly political statement to the media.
What's alert Clay Travis? You know what the punishment is? Yeah. Yeah. Stick to sports. Stay
out of politics. Oh boy. Yeah. So his punishment is according to FIFA says that he should be
suspended for two games. So we'll see. FIFA, now we know this about FIFA. We know this about
FIFA. They stick to the books. They do everything above board. Yes. So I'm sure they'll follow
their own law and suspend Demagaj Vida. Yeah. Demagaj. I think he wants to be suspended.
Like I wouldn't want to be in Russia. I would want to get the fuck out of there.
Just get the fuck out of Russia right now, dude. You idiot.
That's the dude with the man bun, too. Which dude with the man bun?
Oh yeah. All the guys on Croatia. Well, they have that one dude that looks like Willem de
Faux, too. Yeah. And they're all itches. Itches. Yeah. They just itch. Get it? Oh. Do a Riley joke.
Jock itch. Get it? Yeah. Yeah. That's nice. So if I were him, I would probably steer clear
of like picking up any strange objects, like lacing like all the mints in that hotel with
Polonium. Yes. Be very careful. Be very careful. All right. We have a Trouble in Paradise.
And this is a hilarious story. The Warriors, before they signed Bookie Cousins, apparently
voted on whether to sign White Howard. And they all were like, nah. Like a frat. Yeah. They were
just like, should we let this rush in? Yeah. He did not get an invite to the formal smoker.
So Trouble in Paradise, Dwight Howard in the entire NBA. Because it's rare you see a guy
with this much talent who will go to the Hall of Fame is basically like teams are,
well, we don't want him even for the league minimum. We don't want him anywhere near our team.
This is terrible. Dwight Howard get away. I would say that he's slept with a lot of people's
girlfriends, but that would require Dwight Howard to be not corny enough to have sex with women.
And I don't think that that's happening. I think this is like 12 kids. Yeah, he has a ton of kids.
I retract my last thing. Maybe just don't want all those kids around all the time.
Kids are fucking annoying. This is just one step closer to Dwight Howard's like
perfect ending of his career. And that's just dominating in China. Like Dwight Howard's going
to China where everyone loves him. I don't know if everyone loves him, but he'll tell himself
everyone loves him. He played on the Rockets for a little bit. Yeah. So they love the Rockets.
Yeah. Right. So, but Dwight Howard will go to China and be like, yeah, everyone loves me.
No one has told me to fuck off in English. So, and he'll just dominate and be like,
oh, Dwight Howard put up 40 and 20. Cool. And he'll just stay there forever.
That's probably going to happen. I could seem going to the big three too.
Yeah. And just dominate the big three. No, well, actually, I could totally see
Ice Cube being like, nope, they'll do a vote. I used to be like, nah, I don't want them.
I don't want them anywhere near us. Then he'll start his own. He'll be goddamn independent.
That's what you frat guys call it, right? He's just, yeah. He's just going to basically
be standing at a court with a basketball being like, well, anyone play with me.
Or play rugby. That's what you do when you can't join a frat too.
Yeah. Sing the songs. Sing the songs. Yeah. Pay those dues.
He'd be a good rugby player. No, he wouldn't. He wouldn't. It's too tall.
Just for line outs. I don't know what that is. You guys are so uncultured right now.
Okay. Speaking of which, are we in the middle of a tournament that no one cares about?
The World Cup? No. I care about the World Cup. We're in the middle of a rugby tournament.
No one cares about? No, because there's no such thing as a tournament nobody cares about.
Internationals are going on right now? Internationals are always going. The table is full.
Oh, are we currently playing 11v11, 7v7, or 4v4? The World Cup of Sevens is coming up.
Oh, yeah. Wow. We might even finish fourth. That would be huge.
Third or fourth? Third or fourth. Let's do it. All right.
We have a state classy for Phil Mickelson. So, Phil has reported himself on a penalty
to show that he is a good guy, Phil. The penalty was he trampled a little grass before his shot,
which is so golfed, being like he stepped in front of his shot. And it's so perfect because
he definitely did this on purpose. Oh, yeah. Completely intentional. It happens in movies
all the time where some guy fucks up or he's trying to win a girl and he hires his buddy
to fake mugger and then he steps in to prove that he's all tough. That's what Phil did,
but the golf equivalent of that is calmly matting down a couple blades of grass with
your darn joy. Yeah. Stepping in the wrong place. Yeah. And being like, oh, that's two shots.
Damn. And then Phil is also the Phil vs. Tiger. 1v1 is going to be awesome. I don't give a fuck.
All these people are like, oh, it's Mayweather Pacquiao. It's 10 years too late. It would have
been cool if it was 2007. Who would not want to watch this? Yeah, it's cool now. The same people
that are saying that are definitely going to watch this. Yeah. And the only thing I asked for
is we just need them to be mic'd up. And I like, go ahead, put it on a delay. I don't care, but I
just need them to be mic'd up. I would also like them to hit their shots at the exact same time.
That would be great too. I mean, they can because one's a righty, one's a lefty. Right.
Just like an ultimate face off every single shot. That's, yeah, we should absolutely have that.
That just fix golf? And they play the best ball the whole time.
And so between the two of them. Yeah. So they keep shooting in a mirror
against each other and so they putt. So it's basically just, you know what? It's the Darren
Ravel, Phil vs. Tiger mini golf contest. Here's the problem. If you think that Tiger Woods is
going to be able to stare at a pair of tits like that the whole time and not try to fuck them,
you don't know Tiger. He's got to wear a Chastity belt. Yeah. Those B cups are going to look pretty
good after like the third or fourth hole. Juicy. Juicy. All right. Let's actually, that would be
great if Phil like got in Tiger's head by wearing a sports bra and then taking off his shirt halfway
through the tournament. Oh, it's hot. It's hot outside. Oh man. Geez. Oh, weird. I get the sports
bra on. He accidentally spills water all over his shirt and you can kind of see through the black
sports bra with a white shirt. Yeah. And Tiger's like, oh, Jesus. God damn it. What's he? Stay
focused. Tiger. All right. Let's finish up the show. Hank hot in the streets. Hank. Oh, by the
way, we have, we're going to be in DC for the All Star game and we're going to be at the inaugural
game at Audi Field for DC United. We've caught so much of a World Cup fever. We're going to a
soccer game. See Wayne Rooney. Pretty excited. So pretty good. See you there. Hank. The Wayne
Rooney, everyone in World Cup. Nope. Yep. Yeah. 1967. That's right. Yeah. It's coming. It's coming
home. What is that by the way? Did England create soccer? They used to. Yeah. Okay. They did? Yeah,
they did. They invented soccer. Well, I mean, chances are like one of their colonies that they
were looking over invented and then one of the soldiers came back and was like, Hey, I killed
this guy. But before I killed him, he showed me that you can kick a ball. And here's this bag of
tea that's worth $3 billion. Let's have a good time. Stole all of his spices. Yeah. All right.
Go ahead, Hank. Hot in the streets. Justin Bieber, PFT's favorite musical artist. Got engaged this
weekend to Haley Baldwin. Wait, wait. Okay. Why is he my favorite? I don't know. You always talk about
him. Yeah, you always talk about him. Yeah, you talk about him so much we don't let you talk about
him on the show. Yeah, ever. So my question is, who is Haley Baldwin? She is Stephen Baldwin's
daughter, Baldwin's brother. So she's one of the shitty Baldwin sons. She's an offspring of the
shitty Baldwin. Yes. She's a supermodel basically because she was like best friends with the Jenner
is growing up. So she got all that publicity. She's got the Kardashian shit on her. She's got
yeah, she's best friends with Kendall and Kylie. Okay. Is she is she a worthy supermodel? Yes.
Or she's supermodel, like, like, you know, like the rich kid who got into Harvard even though,
because his dad and grandfather went there. I mean, it's both like she's definitely like a little
obviously she's got some connection. But she's a shitty Baldwin. I thought he was dating Selena.
He was dating Selena. They broke up. He started looking up with her. Can you believe this guy?
Okay, no, hang, hang, screw me. Take this. They went to couples therapy. Okay. And then
basically Haley was the reason they got they broke out of couples therapy because Bieber was
like, Yeah, I kind of like this girl. Haley Baldwin and Selena freaked out was like fuck couples
therapy. We're done. Bro, Selena's engaged. Oh, to who? To Pete Davidson. Oh, that's right. Yeah.
I knew that. Nope. That's not true. Oh, damn it. Damn it. Oh, I always get that confused. I think I
did that last week on the show. I was so close. One super interesting with the Pete Davidson thing
is that he made a joke about the the tear accident in London when Ariana Grande was performing. And
so now the Ariana Grande hive fucking hates Pete Davidson. Oh, man. Are they like the Bayhive?
Yes. Oh, I love her. By the way, don't come after me. I was laughing at you because I was like,
you're such an idiot Ariana or Selena Gomez engaged to Pete Davidson. Well, here's a question.
Does Bieber have any tattoos of Haley Baldwin on her? Yeah, he's got a million tattoos.
Yeah. Okay. So probably. But it just didn't make news because yeah, it wasn't like Pete Davidson
is also kind of a weird guy. Yeah. And Haley Baldwin, not the Baldwin daughter that got yelled
at by Alec Baldwin on the phone saying you're a little pig. You're a little piggy. Yeah,
you're a little pig. Which do you even know that clip? Nope. Yeah. So that was 2007. That's how
long we've been around. Want to feel old? We remember when the Baldwin daughters were famous
for getting yelled at by their abusive father. Can you get me tooed when it's your own daughter?
Yeah. Does that count as me too? I don't know. I mean, yeah, it was pretty bad. What's his face?
What do you? What's his face? Oh, yeah. What do you? What's his face? What do you know his name?
Of course. What do you? What do you not? What are you? What are you Alan? What are you? Yeah.
And we're really hitting all these. I I I'm just like as it sucks. It sucks getting old because I
really try and like I know some of these things. But like Haley Baldwin, I really didn't know who
she was. Yeah. And I went to her Wikipedia after and because I was expecting her to be like, oh,
some famous actress or like she was in a Netflix movie that was awesome. Like nope,
she's just Steven the shitty Baldwin's daughter. So check out her Instagram. It's a little it's
a little more visually appealing. So when you also hosted drop the mic. Oh, yeah. Okay. Oh,
so when you kind of like our co-worker. Yeah, I'm a bad friend. When you say she's a supermodel,
does she actually make money off modeling? Yes. Or she just knows because like she takes pictures.
No, she does like the Calvin Klein Instagram. She's not part of the thought garage. No. Okay.
She's in the I think her and like the genders have a nickname for each other like the Hadid twins
or sisters, whatever they are, Bella and Gigi, Bella Gigi, Kylie, Haley. That's the that's the
click. Wait, is this nice? That's like the brat pack. Is she Eminem's daughter? They have a name
for it. I forget what it is. No, that's no, that's another Haley though. That's a different Haley.
Okay, multiple Haley girls. And what's up with the kid who what's up with the kid who had his
wiener on the Nirvana album? What's he doing with his face? All right, that's our show. Love you.
Hey, I love you guys. I want to I'm going to kiss all you guys because you make me happy every
day. Little piggies.
It's part of my tape presented by the bar.