Pardon My Take - Trevor Bauer, Patrick Mahomes Got PAID And Tik Tok Drama

Episode Date: July 8, 2020

Tik Tok drama has never made us feel so old but it's so fucking funny (2:16 - 6:47). Patrick Mahomes got PAID. We discuss the contract and the future of the Chiefs and how much Mitch Trubisky will get paid (6:47 - 29:12). Hot Seat/Cool Throne include Jake Marsh breaking down wild Mahomes stats and PFT thinks he can be an NFL kicker (29:12 - 46:11). Reds pitcher Trevor Bauer joins the show to talk about baseball coming back. how the testing is going, and his feud with Scott Boras (46:11 - 73:55). Segments include PR 101 for DeSean Jackson, Mt Rushmore of offensive trademarks Dan Snyder tried to claim were worse than the Redskins and Guys on Chicks.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, we have a packed-packed show. We have Trevor Bauer talking about baseball coming back from a player's perspective. What he's experiencing. Will baseball be played? We have Patrick Mahomes getting absolutely paid, paid, paid, paid.

We have Hot Seat Cool Throne. We have a Great Mount Rushmore. We have Guys On Chicks, PR101 for Deshaun Jackson, tons of stuff. Still no sports, but tons of stuff to talk about. And we're doing it all because of our friends, the Cash App. Pardon my take is always brought to you by the Cash App. We're in the Cash App Studio. Not only is the easiest place to send money to your friends, it's the safest.

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You get $10 for free, $10 to the ASPCA. Today is Wednesday, July 8th. And since all my drama has been put out on the internet for the world to judge me, let's lay out everyone else's. Anthony got with Cynthia a week after we broke up on tour. Jaden actively tried to hook up with Dixie at our house on the 4th of July in front of me while she was dating Griffin. Griffin cheated on Dixie with Taylor's ex Kaelin and Bryce's ex Elle.

Jaden and Josh cheated endless amounts of times on Mads and Nessa for the past few months and Keo cheated on Olivia. The only person who has a right to be upset with me is Charlie and I'm sorry I hurt her. We broke up and I messed up by kissing Nessa. I'm not sorry to Josh. We are not boys and we haven't been boys since he lied to Charlie saying I had an STD six months ago trying to get her to stop seeing me. I'm not going to let these hypocrites try and ruin my life without their lives being

out on the internet too. I've never felt so old when I saw TikTok trending on Tuesday Monday night and this was the message we got out of this. Well, this is what happens anytime that one social media platform trends on another social media platform. I'm just always lost about it and it's it's Shakespearean drama. It's crazy. We're going to get to Patrick Holmes.

Don't worry, but this is clearly the biggest news of the day. Oh, by far. TikTok is falling apart. TikTok stars are falling apart. I just want to go through these names again because it's fucking hilarious. Anthony and Cynthia. Those are normal names. Some taking nominees.

Yeah. Some taking nominees. Yeah, it really broke their hearts. No, literally. These are the people. Yeah, I know. It broke their hearts not winning 19-year-old of the year and they just lashed out. I like that they eased us in with Anthony and Cynthia.

Like there was there was Anthony and Cynthia's in 1950. Then we got to Jaden, Dixie, Griffin, Taylor, Kailin. I can't believe Dixie hasn't changed her name yet. Yeah. Bryce L. Jaden again, Josh, Mads and Nessa, Keo. Keo, wait. What the fuck? How do you spell Keo?

K-I-O. Of course. I don't. I've never felt so old. We're going to get to it on a secret throne, but that is the funniest statement that's ever been released. I've alluded to it. Patrick Mahomes gets paid half a billion dollars all of a sudden the platform that his brother

is on and all his competition gets canceled immediately. Yeah. You don't think that money pays for a little detective work? Good point, PFT. It's that I can't wait. I wish I could hit a fast forward button from like 15 years from now. Who wrote this? Chase Hudson?

Huddy? Huddy is over. Little Huddy. Little Huddy. Huddy's like 40 years old and put that slide it right in front of his face and be like, you tweeted this, man. Listen, the second you start to. No, he wrote it in his notes.

Yeah, notes. Sorry, notes. The second that you start typing anything to notes app, you know that some shit's about to pop off. Yes. That's turning the key on the submarine to launch a nuclear missile. I hope I never get to any place in my life where I have to unironically post a notes app because at that point, I don't think there's any coming back from that.

I just, I'm pissed that little Huddy messed up by kissing Nessa. That was the ultimate betrayal. To be fair, they were on a break. Oh, where did all these people exist? Oh, well, I mean, it's basically is like Romeo and Juliet, like instead of instead of what that like the Capulets and the Montelogs or whatever, there's the Sway House, there's the Sway House and there's the Hype House and all these people are divided between those two houses.

There's, you know, I don't really know, but they're in California, it's all just like all your fear of California teens, they all organize in these two houses and that's where it all goes down. Thankfully, they're just going to take each other apart. What we need is knowing, like just hearing the name Sway and Hype and like knowing that 10 years ago, all these people who are on TikTok would have been like ex-gamers. We need Sal Mascala to get in here and intervene and let us know what's going on. Not even ex-gamers.

No, they probably would have been it. You would have had one. You have to be more athletic. Dude, you're telling me that you're telling me Jaden would have fucking been ripping rail grinds 10 years ago. He's just dancing. How old are these people too? The girl Charlie is 16 years old.

No, this is exactly Shakespearean. I'm pretty sure that everybody in Shakespeare was like 10 years younger than you think they are when you read the plays. Everyone's like 12 to 18 years old. Holy shit. All right. So that's TikTok drama. I just saw that and it was one of the funniest things I've read, unintentionally one of the

funniest things that have been put on the internet. Well, it's also, and I obviously like don't really understand it either, but it's a classic situation of like this kid got called out and instead of just, you know, owning up to it, he decided to just throw all the gas on the fire and just blow up everything kissing each other. How does this tie into dog coin? That's the real question about this. Yes.

Dogecoin. Yeah, they're pumping and dumping and dumping dogecoin. And so people are saying that this notes app got notes apt just as a distraction. I'm pissed that I'm not in and dogecoin. I'm long. I'm long on dogecoin. Full disclaimer. I have been long on dogecoin.

It's a sliding door moment though. It's like I picked Bitcoin to Jen. I trusted Steven Segal in his pyramid scheme that was literally a pyramid scheme. I fucked up. I should have done dogecoin with the talkers. Yeah, the memes were way stronger on dogecoin. It sucks. All right.

Speaking of money, let's talk about the real story. Patrick Mahomes got fucking paid 10 year extension, $503 million. This is the ultimate contract tweet porn that I still don't even understand his contract guaranteed mechanisms were trending because that was part of it. And it seems like it's a rolling contract that they get to keep paying him and then he can get out at any time. But either way, he made a shitload of money. Yeah.

The bottom line is he's rich as fuck and he's going to be even richer living in Kansas City where he doesn't. He's a 24 year old that never has to pay for a beer in his hometown. So right there, that's worth at least like $2 million a year. Plus he's getting about $500 million. It's like the guaranteed mechanisms part of the contract doesn't make sense to me, but they also said that it's not going to be rolling with the CBA with the with the cap is right. The cap hit jumps up to like $60 million in five or six years.

And at that point, he'll probably have renegotiated. Right. He's going to keep renegotiating. He does get a guaranteed $63 million a guy signing and a guaranteed total guarantees up to $141 million by March 2022. Now you say the cap hit because this is the ultimate Patrick Mahomes is worth it because he's, it's almost like he's worth it because he already won a Super Bowl and you'd pay a lot of money for a Super Bowl, any franchise would.

But the ultimate question now is will paying Patrick Mahomes this much hurt the team? And of course it will because he's going to be paid a lot of money and is it going to be worth it in the long run when you have to figure out a way to cobble together a team by paying Patrick Mahomes this much. I think the way that this summer is gone, you're kind of banking on the fact that the earth might not exist in 10 years. So you might as well give somebody a massive contract and then, you know, three, four years down the line.

It's like if the earth's still around, then yeah, we'll figure out that problem. We'll roll that ball down the hill. But anybody that plays with Patrick Mahomes is actually going to be elevated to a much higher levels. Correct. Even afford to kind of recycle or get new wide receivers on rookie deals. You can get guys that are free agents that might not be that expensive and just putting him in proximity of that arm.

They're going to be worth a lot more. But depth and margin for error gets a lot slimmer. And I'm not saying that they shouldn't have paid. They clearly should have paid him. Now, obviously I would never like, could you imagine rooting for the same quarterback for like 15 years? That's lame. I'm happy that sounds terrible and like someone else.

And then someone else and someone else and Mitch, he hasn't had his deal yet, so we don't know what it's going to be. Well, this sets the market right. There's actually a non-zero chance that the Chicago Bears see this and they're like, you know what? We picked Mitch ahead of Patrick Mahomes. So technically, I think we should probably pay him five hundred and sixty. All right.

Wait, I want to think about it. Like Tom Brady's been a constant in my life since I was like 10 years old, Super Bowl six Super Bowls like the loss of him leaving is something that's really been right for me to handle. Emotional to anyone. You don't have to worry about it. And then out. So all right.

So I want to get back to the Mitch aspect, but the Patrick Mahomes. So he is part of elite company. There are 13 guys who have won Super Bowl MVP and League MVP. Nine of them, nine out of 13 are in the Hall of Fame. The other three are Aaron Rodgers, Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, and then the 13th is Patrick Mahomes. So essentially you're saying he's already a Hall of Famer. Yes.

And then the upper, upper, upper echelon of NFL players when you when you actually break it down as like there's only been 13 who have done this and they're all fucking special. So how many Super Bowls does he have to win in the next 10 years to make this contract? Well, I would say if he wins six Super Bowls on top of the one that he already has, then it's absolutely worth. Oh, I'd say it's way less. I'd say if he wins two more, two wins, three Super Bowls total, I think it's worth it. I mean, it's probably worth it.

No, actually, listen, you know what? I just talked myself right there. I talked myself into an actual skip Bayless debate on like at what point is who gives a fuck how much money the chief spent on Patrick Mahomes. He's awesome. He's going to get paid and he's going to be awesome to watch for me as an outsider for the next 10 years. I wish they'd paid him more.

If you though said over under Super Bowls for Patrick Mahomes and you said it at let's say three and a half, I would hammer the under and that's that's nothing against Patrick Mahomes. That's just the NFL. The big case for can you keep a roster intact when you pay a quarterback that much is Russell Wilson, Russell Wilson first four years in the league. The Seahawks were dominant. They win a Super Bowl.

They go to another one. The last four years, they're still good. So they went from four. They won 46 games in the first four years, regular season games. They won 40 games in the last four years. And you might think six games isn't a lot, but they missed the playoffs by a game. They missed the buy by a game twice. So out of those four years, you basically eliminated a chance.

You know, getting a buy is greatly increases your chances. So is Russell Wilson worth it? Yes, but it makes it a hell of a lot harder when you don't have the same depth and margin for error when you put together a roster. You know who this really sucks for more than anybody is the people that just got Madden and they're trying to set up their dynasty mode and Patrick Mahomes used to be a very affordable quarterback. And now with a live update, they're getting absolutely hammered in their ability to create

a team. Like fuck that. I would actually get a refund if I were them. How much of a difference do you think Andy Reid makes in that situation versus Pete Carroll? So Andy Reid, it's a good question, Hank. I think you absolutely, well, no, I think Pete Carroll is a very good coach. Andy Reid is a better offensive coach, obviously. But Andy Reid, now that he has a Super Bowl, he's not going to coach forever.

He's not going to be there for Patrick Mahomes. What's he going to do? I don't think Andy, I think Andy Reid's probably got five more years, maybe. I mean, well, he said today, I'm a happy guy. I'm wearing my best Tommy Bahama. So he wore that as like that. His formal Hawaiian shirt is what he wore today. I shudder to think what Andy Reid's retirement Tommy Bahama shirt looks like.

Oh, it's going to be great. Because him having like a really nice one implies that he has like mood rings of Hawaiian shirts that he puts on. If he wakes up curious, if he wakes up angry, if he wakes up just in a great mood, he got a quarterback for the next 10 years. But yeah, I don't think that Andy is sticking around 62, 62. So Andy, Andy feels like a guy that might start fading off in the sunset. And if he gets, he also has a ring, he has a ring that changes everything.

If he gets another Super Bowl, he might retire at that point. Right. I just, I, you can't expect Andy Reid to be there for the length of Pat. I don't expect Patrick Mahomes contract to be there for the length of the. I mean, it's like we said, it's going to renegotiate. Who knows what's going to happen? I, you, it's one of those weird spots in sports where you have to pay him blank check $500 million, but you also have to acknowledge that it's going to be a hell of a lot harder

going forward when he takes up 13, 14% of the cap and putting together a roster. But I guess that's why you also pay Andy Reid. And you hope that Patrick Mahomes, like you said, elevates everyone else. When I first saw this contract and I saw 500 million, my, my initial thought is that if I had, if I had that much money guaranteed when I was 24, I'd be fucking dead immediately. Like I probably, I don't think I would survive longer than two years. If you paid me 127 million or what was the check that he got? He got 66 million on signing on, on signing.

If you gave me, well, that's really only like 35 million, so not really worth it after taxes. But yeah, if you gave me $35 million, like cold hard cash in my bank account when I'm 24 years old, I'm dead by the time I'm 25, at least he's living in Kansas City. That's true. Yeah. That would be a little, a little more leeway on your life expectancy. Does he move over to the Missouri side now? He's got a little money in his pocket.

People are wondering. So I got a cold takes exposed for you guys on April 27, 2017. Someone in the media tweeted, didn't trade up to take Patrick Mahomes in the top 10. That's a huge win. That was big cat, I bet. Fuck. Yeah. That sucks.

That sucks so bad. Also, my favorite thing about quarterback contract Twitter is watching people just speculate. Okay. Who's next in line? What does this mean for Dak Prescott? And you know that there are a lot of people saying like DAC is going to get a similar contract.

That would be hilarious. Yes. I really hope that happens. Man, that would actually make my day as a Washington to be determines fan. If Dak Prescott get paid $50 million a year, hell yeah, do it Jerry. It's an, I mean, that's the thing too with Mahomes. It's unprecedented. Yeah.

I don't know if anyone's ever won a Super Bowl MVP and an MVP in his third season, really his second season. Like he, you know, Big Ben won a Super Bowl, won his second season in Tom Brady, but they didn't win MVPs until later on in their career. And now you can correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that this is the first contract in the NFL where a player will be getting paid more money than Roger Goddell. Roger's going to be heated. Yeah.

What was his salary? I think it was like $34 million last year. Russ might have, might have beaten that, but I think Russ is like 36 or something. No player has ever won a Super Bowl making more money than Roger Goddell. So I don't know. Is that trend going to continue with Patrick Mahomes? Many say it might. So if you've listened to this show for a long time, you know that I'm down to lose

pieces of my body for whatever, stupid things. I think now that like Patrick Mahomes has the first three years of played out, first three years of Mitchell played out, I think I'd give up a leg to have Patrick Mahomes on the Bears, a full leg knee down. Left leg knee down. Okay. You don't really. I can't imagine what I would be thinking.

How long is this statement going to last? Because what if like, you know, he becomes a journeyman in like six years and ends up on the Bears. Did you win another? Did you win another Super Bowl? Yeah. You don't need your legs in your 40s. Dude, I just couldn't imagine having a quarterback like that.

You won't be able to walk at your son's graduation. Big cat. That's true. Crotch though and everyone's like, maybe gives me a little bit of applause. Show up like Lieutenant Dan. Yeah. Yeah. That was actually a storyline in Adam Sandler's romp comedy of, you know, the

this week, the week of it was a guy without legs and everyone said that he was a World War II vet and he wasn't. He had diabetes. So a lot of people. Hilarious story. A lot of people. Played by Rob Schneider. No, some old guy didn't know.

A lot of people would just assume that you were a veteran. Yeah. On the streets. I have a friend that lost a leg when he was in fifth grade and a lot of people just come up to him and thank him for his service. He just stopped correcting them. Yeah. Surprise.

So, so I would, I just don't know is, is, and I like Mitch and I'm not trying to pile on him, but he's part of the conversation here. Because he, is it like one of the worst draft picks? It's not his fault. But is it one of the worst draft picks in terms of trading up and then having a guy like Patrick Mahomes who, you know, you need the best ever, you know what you need to do. Mitch just needs to change his jersey number to number nine because that's how many teams passed on Patrick Mahomes.

I just wish he had been drafted lower because then it's not, oh my God, Ryan, Ryan Pace should be fired just for this. Just for the minute that Patrick Mahomes signs that contract, be like, uh, okay. I think you should actually give, make that a public offer for you to give up a leg. It's not a bad deal for you. You don't use your legs that much anyways. You probably get better at video games. Uh, you would lose some weight immediately.

Yup. Boom. You get, you're, you're BMI, your BMI would be slightly overweight now, instead of morbidly obese. Uh, leg, which one? Your left one? Yeah. Your leg.

You've got skinny legs and like no ass. So I would say, uh, I didn't ask about my ass. Your leg is, well, the ass, that's a question. No, I know, I know. Yeah. Is the open-ended leg ass gross? Is your ass part of your leg? No, I said knee down, knee.

Oh, knee down. I would go a little bit higher than that. Why would you need, why would you want a knee if you didn't have a lower leg? Uh, you got to go, you got to go right above the knee, if anything. Okay. I think that would probably cost you about 24 pounds. I just can't, I just need to move on. We just need to move on.

Plus your other leg. Patrick Moho, just go do your thing. It'd be awesome. Bears, go find someone else. Like I said, who would want to have their salary cap ruined by Patrick Moho? It's not me. And I think what you bring up about being bored with one quarterback, it's absolutely the truth.

Right. I've watched probably 25 quarterbacks in the last 20 years in Washington. It's exhilarating. Yeah. Like every new guy could be the guy. The three years I had with Kirk Cousins were the most boring years of my life. I was like, Oh, who wants a guy that's going to go eight and eight and be consistent? Dude, I sold myself on Mike Glennon.

I could sell myself on anyone. That thrill of being like, this is the guy. Chiefs fans don't have that anymore. You know what your guy is. I had fun with that. Not for me. Uh, all right. That's Patrick Moho.

I'm MLB release their schedule. So we're getting closer. What day? There's like no daygames. There's some weird times though. No, there are daygames. There's one daygames. No, there's daygames.

On opening day, there's only one. I saw the Cubs had a bunch of daygames where they always do, but there were some like weird times they're playing like five o'clock or something. I think it's time to have an honest conversation about the MLB's plan for reopening. There's no chance that it works. All right. We'll talk to Trevor Bowen in a minute. Yeah.

We'll talk to him about it. We'll get his thoughts. I want to be optimistic. I've reached a point where I'm just like, I've given up. No, I think, I think all of our hopes and dreams actually rest on hockey because hockey's playing in Canada and hockey is like not testing people for COVID and they're coming back like it seems like it seems like Florida is just going to that's going to fall apart quickly soon to Canada.

Please for once pull through for college football feels like it's going to be a spring season. College football is just going to say fuck it. No, I don't think so. You don't think they're in fuck it mode? No, I think the SEC is always in fuck it mode. SEC maybe, but the fact that they're now colleges that are like, we're not going to have our kids come back on campus. I think it becomes a harder and harder sell.

And it's just college is NFL. Obviously, the difference is they're they're paying the NFL players, but there's also a structured this is the commissioner. This is the league. This is mandated college. You have all different states rules. You have all different conference rules, the NCAA trying to get in. There's like a hundred and fucking 50 teams.

I just don't know how they do it. I honestly don't. I've I've been talking to Biz Nasty about this because we were discussing the shells ideas about coming back and having, you know, the tournaments in different cities and all that. I'm trying to get biz to get tested for the for the antibodies because if he's got the antibodies, then he can just be a goon for hire and be like a million bucks. If you're good, if Tom Wilson breaks his wrist on Sidney Crosby's face accidentally by

skating into him with a forearm ready to go, then he is ready to step in and he will be confirmed COVID free. We need that. We need we need biz back in the league. I kind of want to get a test too, just so I could market myself as the COVID free kicker. Yeah. If they like, can you imagine the night I did get a test the day I did, but that was a couple of months ago.

You think you've had it? I think that Billy's you were so bummed out when you didn't have it. Billy football has talked me into the idea that the antibody tests are all screwed up and you can get like a different result. You're just going to keep getting a test until you get getting a test until they accidentally reuse a test on me. There's been, but my idea is, and this is actually like 50 percent serious. If the jets are the giants, lose a kicker the night before a home game and they have

to put him in quarantine and I'm available and I've got the antibodies. What percent serious 50 that 50 way too high. You don't think there's wait. No, you don't think I'll keep going, keep going, keep going. But no, but I'm going to have my phone on ready to go. I will just market myself. I'll do a better job than all the other guys on Saturdays. What about the punter?

How about I just camp out? What about like every player on the team? I could camp outside that like every Saturday night in the whole college is in the area. What about like every wide receiver running? It just be so much easier on the way into the stadium. Better shape. The special teams coach could just pick me up on his way into the locker. What about just going for it?

On foot down. Yeah. Not even kicking me. Yeah, I mean, that's what I'm saying. That would happen beforehand. 50 percent. I think that's more of like a point. If I'm in the fucking parking lot, I'm actually I actually think you need to get a mental test with your goal. You just tested positive that you actually are 50 percent. There's literally everyone on the team that could kick.

Yeah, but I'm better than everybody. I don't know about that. Except for maybe the punter. Sam Darno, I think every athlete on the team. You are better than probably 50 percent of the team. I'm way better than the scope. I don't know, dude. Lane Johnson, I think Lane Johnson probably has more power in his leg.

No, PFT can kick. I'm way better at kicking than Lane Johnson. I don't know. None of the other players have kicking training. He's definitely better than 50 percent of the team. Way better. I'd say better than every player, except for maybe the backup quarterback that has a lot of time on his hands to dick around and the punter.

I don't know, man. All these guys don't have to kill the punter. They're all around the field. They're on the field all the time. They're best players kicked in fucking high school. Like, all these guys were the best players in high school and they probably kicked everything in high school, too. I don't think that that's true at all.

I think definitely true for some of them. I think that the players that were great athletes and kicked in high school for the most part become like a Johnny Hecker. No, like a guy who just plays every position in high school. OK, so go ahead, Billy. You're forgetting that a lot of linemen in Pop Warner used to have the biggest leg. Right, that's what I'm saying. They make them kick the kickoff.

Right, that's what I'm saying. In Pop Warner, they do toe style kicking. But they can kick. But they're also on the field like a million hours a day kicking around, probably kicking. Yeah, you saw a video of O'Dell doing right now. Definitely can kick. Yeah, O'Dell could kick. So that's why I'm not.

That's why they traded him away from the Giants. I believe in you, P.F.T. Fifty percent's a lot. Fifty. I'm better than. Wait, are you 50 percent? If you got the chance, you would you would make the most of it. Thank you. That's all I want. It's just a chance. OK, there we go.

Just staying ready. You want a chance. So you're going to live in New Jersey. I will drive to MetLife Stadium every Sunday morning if there's a player that tests positive for covid, if there's a kick or the test positive. OK, Bill, you need to take a guy that waited outside the Patriots. You need to figure out a way to take out the punters is really well.

No, I was thinking I was going to hide in the bushes, wait for the special teams coach. But then if a punter got there first, I'd jump out with a hunting knife. Just having and then also Sam Darnold every weekend. Conan, you need a list of everyone in like the greater New York area that kicked at any level and yeah, maybe go off on all the planes.

Yeah, the planes, right? They can't be that many people. Red Bull players, they could they could just send their private good point. Oh, geez. Yeah, you know, all the soccer kicking a soccer ball is much different than kicking a football. I think I do you think you're better than 50 percent of the players on the Red Bulls from 35 yards?

Yes, from any distance, 35 yards. Yes, then 50 percent of MLS. Yes. OK. All right. Well, confidence is the half the battle. I don't think I'm being irrationally overconfident in this. I think I think maybe by saying that you added an extra zero. Yeah, I did. No, you're right. My math was wrong, and that's a common theme for me.

So I fucked up with the with the zeroes. It's a five percent chance that it actually happens. But I think that I'm better than 50 percent of New York Red Bulls soccer players at kicking field goals in football. Tony Miola could only make like a thirty five yarder when he tried out for the Jets. I'm not talking about goalies. Goallies do they do goal kicks.

They're actually better at kicking than most players. What are you going to say, Billy? Bergen County is a football hotbed and they definitely have a ton of kickers. Could they just not pay and keep their eligibility? Don't use the word hotbed. How many kickers in America do you think are better than you right now? I'd say probably like five hundred thousand people are better than that.

OK, that that that seems like that's I'll take the under. Is that I'd probably take the under. I would have said like two hundred thousand. Oh, now you guys are talking to me. OK, you're right. I know we need to find 50 percent. Listen, you started. You started with there's a 50 50 chance. The Giants will sign me.

So I had to find a way to work in the backdoor here where we had some math that made sense. It's 50 percent if their kicker test positive for Corona the morning of a game. And I just happened to be in the parking lot with a sign that says not to bring up bad things in the past. But what about all the XFL kickers? They're not going to be in the parking lot. I will be.

They probably some of them live around here, but they're not going to be in the parking lot. That's the parking lot aspect. Listen, I'm going to be I'm marketing myself as like the most convenient solution. Not the best. Right. Right. OK. Right. Like I'm the most convenient, probably is to go for two. I'm the gas station condom. Right. You'll take it if it's the only you want a Trojan, you want a directs, you want a brand name or you just don't use it and go for two.

Right. Yeah. Right. You say, fuck it, I'll pull out. But if you see if you see a rough rider, I think most people do the hanging off the tag and it's ninety nine cents. Yeah, it might break and it might fuck up the rest of your life. But it's there. You might give it a shot. All right, let's get to Hot Seat Cool Throne. Hot Seat Cool Throne is brought to you by Bud Light Seltzer.

Try it for yourself and see why the great taste of Bud Light Seltzer is putting all others in the hot seat. Fourth of July is coming up and we know you need some ice, cold, Bud Light and Bud Light Seltzer. So remember to use code PMT on Drizly to get five dollars off your first purchase of Bud Light Seltzer delivered right to your door. Hot Seat Cool Throne, do you want to start with Billy? OK, Billy, how was South Dakota?

You went out for Trump's. No, I didn't come up with speech. You wanted to dispel the sack as you were walking out the door. You said, I'm going to go save some monuments. Billy Billy gets nominated for Lib of the Year once and immediately books a one way train ticket to South Dakota and go hang out at Mount Rush. Yeah, OK, I was I was there to see reptile gardens. You're wearing cowboy boots.

You are the dude who comes back from Europe with a fucking accent. They were they were there for three days. There again. OK, keep going. OK. I don't realize he's wearing cowboy drive in those. They're a gift. They were given to me while I was out there. I don't bring your fucking bow knife and shit to the office today. Billy, are you wearing Carhartt?

No, there's talk at Billy. OK, they're simps. There's different snow free ads. OK, cool company. They're they're really cool. No free ads. So yeah, Cool Throne, people who get first hot seat, hot seat, hot seat football because a bunch of D three colleges have started to cancel

their seasons, including mine. So in a couple of why did they have bad tweets? No, just the seasons just because of Corona, everything. They're not having people back at their campuses. So like we're starting to see like definite. Do you agree? And like I feel like that's a precursor to Division One. Well, I think the Power Five, as long as there's money involved, they're going to play.

They might play what I heard, which actually would be so fucking perfect for debate is that every conference just plays their conference schedule. And now we have to just decide who's got the best conference. So like every team in back. The it will be no crossover. And everyone's like now four teams from the SEC get into the U.C.F. is going to declare another national title. Yeah. Well, there's well, they wouldn't even play.

That's no. Yeah, they wouldn't play. Well, what would the independent schools? What? I don't know. I'm going to play. I don't know. Well, they would probably get to play an ACC schedule. No, Notre Dame would absolutely just get into the playoffs right for going undefeated and not yeah, not beating anybody. I'm hearing rumors that Dabo is purposely making sure all his players catch

covid so they have the antibodies for the season. Rumors from who? Rumors from your brain. Have you been listening to part of my take? I've been listening because I think we floated that theory. Absolutely. 100 percent. It's herd immunity. Yeah. I've seen Colin Coward on FS one. Anyway, cool throne.

People get scared by headlines. Great idea for a segment, by the way, herd immunity. Yes. So there's a lot of headlines that are like scaring people, like, oh, there's a new virus that can kill us all again. And then there's like the bubonic plagues back. And the thing is, like a lot of those things, like the Black Death, the bubonic plague has a cure. But people tweeting out the link that says the bubonic plague has popped up

in Mongolia. This is another thing we've done on part of the Internet. We've literally I canceled fear like a month ago. I said, I was done being afraid. There's more. I'm just bringing up another one. Do it. It is the quote tweet industrial complex. This is actually like that headline was absolutely written just so that people would quote tweet it on CNN and then dunk on it. I actually like this, Billy.

You're just going to like if people don't listen to every show, they can just listen to you and catch up to what they missed. I did the tick disease. I did. I'm just canceling the fear. OK. Thank you for canceling fear. I did that a month ago. That was murder hornet season. But yeah, bubonic plague.

If you don't follow along, there is a story about the bubonic plague every single year. Yes, it's always in like New Mexico. I feel like New Mexico or Arizona is scary name. All right. Hank, your hot seat. Cool to run. My hot seat we talked about at the beginning of the show is tick tock. Yes. So apparently it's all the rage. Everyone's talking about it. But apparently the government is talking about shutting it down like India.

I guess shut down like 39 because it's developed. It's a Chinese developed app and they India shut down like 39 Chinese apps. And there's talks Pompeo, Secretary of State that they might do the same thing. Mike Pompeo. Yeah, there is. That's fucked up because if you set that precedent that you're going to shut down every single Chinese app, then where am I going to go? See pictures of like my guy friends looking like chicks that I want to fuck. That's an issue for me.

Yeah, it feels like tick tock is not long for censorship. Besides seeing the tick talker censorship when they're lately spying. No, I'm saying whatever. Like I'm not even talking about that. But I'm saying the reaction from the tick talkers would be unbelievable. Like watching what they would do. Bring back by the little huddies. Yeah, it would be just it would be chaos in the streets.

What has Vine been up to? Vine's been notably silent during all this. Do you think that? I mean, we do need to bring back Vine. Yes, it was a better version of tick tock. Yes, well, it's because we could understand it. True. And we were young seconds. Yes, it was when I was in my 20s.

It was a good old day. It was a six second video that you could record and then put music under and then put online and it would repeat. Yes, then my cool throne is Usain Bolt. Do you guys see what he named his daughter? No, like is it? No, I don't think take a guess. I mean, like lightning bolt Olympia lightning bolt.

Oh, nice. Maybe the greatest name of all time. Yes, that's good. That is sick. Olympia lightning bolt. She's going to be fast. Very fast. All right, PFT, what's your hot seat cool throne? My hot seat is going to be. Well, I had a little hoodie on there, but we obviously I think we drove that one.

My hot seat is Joe West. Joe West said today that even though he's been labeled as being in like a target population or a very dangerous population in terms of catching coronavirus. Believe it or not, Joe West might have some underlying health issues. But yes, umpires, especially. I feel like coronavirus and I don't understand coronavirus. I don't think many people do. But I feel like coronavirus wouldn't be able to get past his neck.

I think it's like a huge roadblock. Right. It's like he's wearing a mask over his trachea all day. I agree. So he's got like a natural protective layer that's in there. He's wearing a mask at all times. Yes, he has been. And plus he just wears it. That's what umpires do. Just like all you have to do is put some netting on there.

But he said that he doesn't care. He's going to go ahead and be a martyr and go down to Florida and say and say, I'm going to be doing this. Joe West is not scared of a little virus. You can't keep him out of the stadiums. So Joe West is putting the entire Major League Baseball on his back. This also might be another scare tactic by the MLB, because I still think they just want to have the playoffs.

So they're like, if we put Joe West on these games, then we're going to get more players that don't want to play until later. Right. So that's another bargaining chip that we can use at the last second. Oh, you guys want to play games? OK, well, you have to play with Joe West. Stay safe, Joe West. Please do. And my cool throne is going to be describing things in as boring terms as possible. It's another quote, tweet thing that's going across the Internet right now.

It's just like, name your name, your favorite sport event in the history of your favorite athlete. Yeah, but describing it as boringly as possible. I just did one. I did one from PMT has described your favorite sports moment as boring as possible. I said, Blake answers the phone. Oh, that's pretty good. That's nice. His video, by the way, was one of the greatest things of all time ever.

And there were some stay wokes, but he honestly, he after he won it, he texted me, he said that he was doing a Red Bull promo, like they were falling around that week. So it just worked out seamlessly. Incredible. He's our Blake of the Year. Describe your least favorite sporting event of all time as boringly as possible. Two doings moving. No, moving.

Moving up one spot. To take the far inferior player. That's pretty good. Or you could just say every day since the 2017 NFL drive. Yeah, every day has been a living hell. I'm like the office space every day is worse than the day before. Yeah, yours is I wish I didn't have a leg. Yes. All right.

My hot seat is I got two of them. One is Future Me. I I'm now the coach. Doug's is now the coach LSU. So what happened? Wisconsin, they just fucked Joshua Waller. All my friends hate Joshua Waller. They some dork named Joshua Waller got an extension.

I was talking about the video game. Yeah, the video game. I was very. I think it's Gary Anderson, which makes it even more annoying because he was such a shitty coach. Better kicker than him. Yeah. Yes. The so I'm playing this morning at 8 a.m. Doing a morning Wednesday morning, Wednesday morning, a morning stream.

It's actually very fun because it's like only maybe a couple thousand people. The chat moves a little slower. People are just kind of chilling. We talk, we chat, not the same everyone trolling me. But yeah, I'm at LSU. I'm excited. And then my other hot seat is Darren Ravel because we totally forgot to do this.

But our guy Jake Marsh has some Patrick Mahomes stats that no other podcast or Twitter feed has. Jake, please tell us. First, I need to address yesterday I did a tweet about saying how many bottles of ketchup Mahomes can buy because he loves ketchup, but I said it under Heinz. He has a deal with. Yeah, he's a huntsman. So I had to address that. That's true.

Canceled. Yeah. Imagine if Jake got canceled for using the wrong ketchup brand awareness. You're canceling. So with five hundred and three million dollars, you can buy 19 million three hundred and fifty three thousand five hundred ninety seven point five Kermit the Frog Puppets on Amazon.com. Holy shit. OK. Twenty five ninety nine each.

OK. I feel like that should come with a bomb inside the crate. If you order that many. Holy shit. Just like immediately drone double tap. OK. OK. Mahomes was born in Tyler, Texas. And two years ago on March 24th, the Broadway Square Mall in Tyler, Texas, had a Muppet Babies themed plated event, including Kermit the Frog. Oh, so little connected dots. OK. We had a lot of fun.

Yeah. As of May 8th, 2020, there were five hundred and three million active internet users in India. Five hundred three million dollar contract. Wow. Same number. That's fun. Finally, we got a lot of people. That's how many Indian people listen to part of my take. We should do a cricket segment. We got to get it. We got to tap it.

Listen, we've we've tapped in to the gamer market. We need cricket. We've already strongly disavowed the Chinese market after the seven dot line going around the South China. Something LeBron would never do. Yeah, applause for us. Thank you, Billy. We need to find a way to get into Indian iTunes.

Do they have iTunes there? I mean, cricket is basically like you thought baseball was boring. No, cricket. Cricket as it goes like three days. Oh, no, I've I watched a 10 minute video on cricket recently. They've adapted the game where now they have like a one a one day long version again. That's exactly that's the point. If you have to adapt the game,

that means you're probably pretty boring. Yeah. Three hundred sixty degrees, though. I mean, that's cool. Yeah. Yeah, it's like red zone for cricket over in only 18 hours. It's like cricket crack. And finally, we've got a chain reaction little thing. So five hundred three million dollars is what the contract can go up to. Five or three is the area area code of Portland, Oregon.

OK. Portland is one thousand seven hundred and ninety eight miles away from Kansas City. And the year seventeen ninety eight was when the first bank robbery in the United States happened is at the Bank of Pennsylvania at Carpenter's Hall in Philadelphia. They stole one hundred and sixty two thousand dollars and eight hundred and twenty one. Holy shit. That sucks. A lot of money. Yeah, they could only and that equals five hundred three million dollars today.

No, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Say that part. It's like the Lincoln's secretary was Kennedy and all that bullshit. Right. Right. Imagine being a bank robber in the 17 like late seventeen hundreds. The goat sick. Yeah. You don't even have bad bitches.

But you don't even have like president's masks to put on as disguises. You just wear a George Washington mask. You need one. You just roll up on your horse. Like there's no there's no cameras. It's not. Yeah, I always think about that. Go to the next go to the next town. No one's going to find out. Like if you're a criminal, like when what at what point were you like?

Fuck DNA evidence. Yeah, that changed the game. That's like probably the mid nineties. O.J. Simpson trial. Yeah, this sucks. You had to be like a world class sucker before electronics to walk into a building and be like, here's all my money. Please look after it and then walk out of that building.

Yes. So anyone that used a bank back in the seventeen hundreds deserve to get that shit. But also kind of more probably a little bit more dangerous back then to rob banks because everyone had guns. So they could just been like stop that man instead of someone just chasing you to tackle you, they just shoot you. But if they don't hit you on the first shot, they have to have like five minutes. If you walk into a bank cricket game, if you have if you walk into a bank

with a loaded gun, you have like a five minute head start on everybody. Yeah, just just make sure you zigzag. Yes, exactly. On the way out. Just like walk at a brisk pace and you'll be fine. All right. Oh, my cool throne is Kanye West is going to be president. Maybe not, but eventually he probably will be. This is one of those ones where it's not going to be this year.

But like if you don't think that we're on the way for a Kardashian being in the White House, you're not paying attention. That's going to happen. I actually do think that I don't think it's going to be Kanye. I would actually think that Kim has a better chance of being president than Kanye does. In like five, ten years, one hundred percent. What's up, Billy? Go ahead.

Please. I got a hot seat. OK. In relation. Is it something we said last month? Nope. OK. OK, hot seat, serial killers or people committed crimes from 1900s because they're using ancestry.com to get a previous DNA from like they got the Golden State Killer recently. He just got convicted on DNA evidence.

So in the same vein of what we're saying. Didn't Patton Oswald's wife track him down? Mm hmm. I have no idea. OK. Yeah, did crazy. But yeah, so OK, hot seat. Thank you for that interjection. That was good. Thank you. Good job. Yeah, they're collecting all of our DNA.

Sweet. Yeah, yours, too. What do you think? You got a COVID test. Mm hmm. They have your DNA. Oh, yeah. They have a chip inside your brain. What are they going to do? Yeah, no, you're being tracked right now. Yeah, you probably shouldn't be around us more. Please leave. All right.

Let's get to Trevor Bauer before we do that. PFT, you got a quick ad. Yes, before we get to our friend, Trevor Bauer, I want to talk to you about our great friends at Shady Rays. We love our Shady Rays. We've had a bunch of people that are tweeting pictures of their new part of my take sunglasses that they've ordered. They're limited time sunglasses.

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That's 50% off two or more pairs at Shady Rays. That's PMT50 for buy one, get one free. You can get two pairs for 48 bucks. Also, I don't think that that code works on the part of my take Ray Baker collection. I could be mistaken, but I believe that was in the the Monday read that we did for these sunglasses, but it works on every single other pair that they have. They're ShadyRays.com PMT50 and get your 50% off. And now here's Trevor Bauer.

OK, we now welcome on recurring guest. Cincinnati Reds starting pitcher, Trevor Bauer. He's got his momentum media company. You should go check it out. Watch momentum.com at watch underscore momentum on Twitter. They're doing some awesome new stuff with different players. He's teaming up with Ken Griffey, Jr. We wanted to have Trevor on because baseball is trying to come back.

And you are always a very vocal person who says whatever they think. And we want to get to the bottom of it. So let's start there. How has the first week or so of being back gone? And are you confident that this is going to work? Yeah, before we get into that, LSU shirt I see there. Is that Joe Burrow that your boy? Yeah, that's our boy.

I'm my video game. I'm we're LSU fans, but also my video game. I'm coaching LSU now. So yeah, I got. Yeah, I love it. Yes, bro. Cincinnati Bengals. We're all excited here in Cincinnati to have him.

Yes. Hopefully baseball is still going when they're when they're coming back. And so I think it will be the first week back has been pretty crazy with all the regulations and the testing, the procedures and stuff like that. When we're getting tested every, every other day now with a spit test, which is, I don't know if you guys know anything about the spit test. No, no, no, explain it. So they give you this little packet and inside there's a vial and it's got a

little like a funnel on it. Like you had like a protein funnel that you pour protein into a water shaker or something to sit there and spit into it. And it probably takes like five minutes to get enough spit to fill this thing up. Then you take the top off and you put a new top on with some liquid and you screw it on and mix the liquid and then deliver it to them. The problem is when you spit, there's like the bubbles on the spit is pretty graphic, right?

What are they talking about? But if the bubbles are, there's too many bubbles, it gets like up into the little funnel and so you have to take the funnel off and like scrape the spit bubbles off and then like put it back on and continue spinning. So that's we saw it's alive up to the line, but the line's pretty high. So it gets kind of messy sometimes. So anyway, that's, that's every other day. Every morning we fill out a survey.

Have you had any of these symptoms? Have you been in contact with someone that potentially might have had this, that or the other of whatever. So it's like 20 questions. And then we have our own thermometers that we have at the home. So we take our temperature twice, input those numbers. In general, I'm like, yeah, in the mouth, you can put it wherever. It's just a thermometer.

You got to stick it somewhere. So now some people might choose somewhere else. I don't know, but yeah, you do that. And then I wake up at like 11. So I'm usually taking my readings about 1130 and I pretty much go straight to the ballpark. And then when you get to the ballpark, you can't enter unless they take your temperature there.

So I'm basically taking my temperature four times in span of an hour and a half. Then you got to wear a mask at all times indoors, not to wear one outdoors. But I mean, if you're in the training room, get a massage at your locker, eating, you can't really wear it while you're eating, but you're encouraged to wear a tooth food room. Can't interact with the chefs. So they have like pre-packaged meals. We have to order our meals in the morning and they're like pre-packaged.

They cook it and pre-package it for lunch, dinner, snacks, stuff like that. This is crazy. How long does it take you to find out after you submit one of those spit tests? How long until you find out whether or not you're positive? I don't know. I haven't heard any of my results back. I'm assuming that I don't hear anything. I'm negative.

Yeah. And if I do hear something, I'm, I'll probably hear fairly quickly. I got a lot of returning around, but I've heard some stuff about the testing facility being like overrun with tests and they're not being able to test guys or like not be able to run the results. And so some teams still haven't been able to complete their intake testing. So they're not even able to practice right now. Geez.

It's a mess. How, so speaking of practice, how, uh, overall, do you think the team is looking and talking to guys around the league? How are they feeling about the season starting in like three weeks? Are guys ready to go? Are they feeling like they are in shape to play start the season? It's such a mixed bag. It's, uh, you got guys like myself were ready to go like now, uh, start the

season now, I'd be fine. You got guys that weren't able to do anything. I mean, if you lived in New York or Jersey or California, Los Angeles area, like you couldn't get to a gym. You couldn't lift. You really couldn't be outside and throw. So you got guys that are ahead. You got guys that are behind hitters haven't seen live pitching.

And I mean, they saw what, uh, a week and a half of games in spring training, something like that, uh, but basically since like September, if you didn't make the playoffs, guys haven't seen live pitching. So some guys hit, some guys hit off a tee. Some guys didn't swing at all. It's such a mixed bag. I had no idea our team specifically, we got a lot of guys that care a lot and that came in ready and we're able to work out and throw and all that.

I know, uh, Sonny and Louise Castillo, uh, are ready to go. Michael Lorenzo is ready to go. Um, and on the hitting side, Castiano took me deep about five 50 yesterday. So he's clearly ready to go. Yeah. I saw that video that you put up on Twitter. Um, it was like cut in and out with George W. Bush saying that we won't get fooled again thing.

Did you make that video yourself? Cause I could actually see you sitting down at Final Cut pro and like making your own memes, your own live action memes. You, you nailed it to a tee. I mean, the program, the look on my fit, everything. Yeah. So I made it myself, had a big meeting with my, uh, my company with momentum last night, three and a half hours.

So while I was listening to everything going on, I was sitting there making a video multitasking at his finest. That's awesome. Uh, so you talked about the spit test before. I also read that baseball is banning spitting entirely. Are they're trying to take spitting out of the game? Like they, you can't take spitting out of baseball. I, you, you played for, uh, Frank Kona for years.

Like, you know, people are going to spit dudes are going to spit and scratch themselves when they're on a baseball diamond. And I don't think that there's any rule that can really stop that. Uh, I'm interested to see how they try to enforce the rule. Is it going to be a fine? Is it going to be a warning? And who's the guy that's going to be sitting there watching the video trying to like, is that, is he spitting?

Right. Yeah. Right. Sky judge. Right. Maybe you got a fly in his mouth. Yeah. Right.

What, um, how, have you talked to your teammates? I'm sure about the fact that you're not going to be playing in front of anyone. As of right now, we, it might change. There might be more people that are allowed in the stadium. How do you think that's going to affect the game and like from a pitching, from a batting standpoint, like how is it going to affect everything? I think it's going to minimize the value of home field. Generally, like you get a lot of adrenaline and momentum when you're

coming back in a game or when you're in a big situation, your home crowd's going crazy. Uh, so it's going to kind of level that out. I think it's going to weed out the people who are not weed out in a way, but people who are driven by the moment and people who are driven by the competition itself. Um, the competition is going to be there. They're still hitting the box.

The game still matter. So people who are driven by that and being the best, you're going to see them play to their normal level. They're going to appear to play up a little bit this season because I think the overall level of the game might be a little bit less. Uh, in some ways, um, but the guys that aren't driven by, uh, the competition as much as they are either the moment or the money, um, probably don't have as much motivation this year.

I mean, we've already seen some guys opting out for various reasons. I'm sure some of it is due to the money side. Um, so it's going to be interesting to see which players kind of rise and which ones kind of fall this year. What, what about, uh, do you think it'll be easier to hear someone banging on a trash can this year with no fans in the crowd? You would expect so. Uh, I don't know if that's old or new technology.

I think there's new stuff, you know, it's hard to hear buzzing going on. I'm not sure if that's a thing or not, but, uh, I saw your shirt when you took a picture, you're still like, you're, I like it because the world has obviously changed drastically since spring training. There's a lot of important things going on, but you are, you are the torch bearer of I'm not forgetting about the Astros. I'm going to wear this shirt and troll them, uh, every single chance I get. I appreciate that.

I don't know what you're talking about, man. I was just taking a picture, happy to baseball back, you know, uh, yeah, we talked about the Black Sox scandal. What's that a hundred, a hundred years ago or? Yeah, yeah. So I mean, might as well just make the Astros the next one. I agree. I think people do need to be reminded of it from time to time because like I miss,

I miss caring about slightly inconsequential shit. You know, like there's so much serious. Stuff that's going on in the grand scheme of things like the Astros cheating. Yeah, it sucks if you're a Yankees fan or Dodgers fan or, or, uh, if you play baseball against the Astros, but in the big picture, it's not that huge, but it feels good to get mad about that small stuff. You know, honestly, yeah, I mean, with how ridiculous 2020 has been, I mean, we got a pandemic, we had its election year and we got, I mean, Kobe, you know,

passed away traffic. There's been a lot of stuff, George Floyd, obviously there's so much serious, heavy stuff going on in the country. The TikTok stuff, I'm sure you're familiar. Yeah. Huddy, little Huddy, little Huddy gate. Yeah. Yeah.

Making, making some fun of some things is, uh, as much needed, I think for everybody. And at this point, look, I mean, it is what it is. It happened. Everyone's aware. It's part of the culture now. And it's like, you know, making memes is like, it's like crying Jordan at this point. Like you make an Astros meme every now and then it's funny.

If you make them too often, it gets old. You got to space them out a little bit. Right. So, um, was there a part of you that even though, you know, you lost out on a lot of games, you lost out on, on a good amount of money this year by not playing games for the first couple of months of the season? Were, was it kind of cool just being like, yeah, you know, this is some awesome time off that we're getting right now.

Like I'll take a couple of months to relax, rejuvenate, you know, ease my way into the season. I went the opposite way. Um, I looked at it like an off season. So I basically just killed my body for three months. Uh, but I got a lot stronger and a lot more powerful out of the a mile an hour or so to my fastball or whom I command. Uh, so yeah, I went that way.

When I, when I all shut down, I was like, there's no way we're playing baseball before, I mean, maybe June at the absolute earliest, but probably July. Like I got three months, something like that. I'm, let me, let me try to get better. So I tried to use it for improvement. I know some guys like looked at it and like, man, I don't have any motivation. I'm going to go fish or I'm going to go spend time with my family or I'm going to go, you know, hang out on my boat or whatever it is.

But, uh, my hobby is like getting better, uh, and seeing and researching stuff. I'm a bird. So I was in the gym or, or, uh, or researching. So the, in the attempts to bring baseball back, it was obviously very much publicized, uh, the fight between the players, the MLB, PA and the owners. Um, you were very vocal about it. Do you think there's going to be any residual? I mean, there's, there's going to be contracts, you know, the new CBA next year,

but is there residual, can you feel it anger about how the owners handled everything and how they tried to put it on the players when in reality, they just were trying to get the cheapest deal possible. Look, it's hard to, it's hard to blame either side. And it's very easy to blame both sides. Like you can look at it a couple of different ways on the owner side, you'd look at it like if anyone was running a business, they would want to find a way to make, not lose money, they lose money.

They don't have a business. They can't employ their employees. They can't operate stuff like that. So save the bottom line, uh, seems to make sense. And best way to do that when you're not making as much money as to cut costs. So I understand it from the business side on the player side, like we don't sign a per game amount. We don't sign a, you know, pro rated contract.

We sign like if I play this year, or once I sign this contract, I'm making X amount this year. So if I get hurt in spring training and I play zero games, I still make that amount right or wrong. That's what that's what the contracts are. So on the player side, it's like, I can see why the players would be upset about not getting, you know, their amount of money, or at least a pro rated amount.

Like you, you shouldn't make less per game than you would have normally. Like, you know, so I can see it from the player side. I can see it from the owner side where they, where everyone messed up is that the, the first thing that the owners did was make it a public fight. Um, I don't know any other business that would intentionally pit their, uh, their customer base, which is the fans against their product, which is the players on the field. Yup.

Um, but that seems to be the decision that was made enough from a negotiating standpoint and pressuring and trying to get the best deal and all that, it makes sense in a way. The problem is it's very short-sighted. It's about getting the best deal this year and doing irreparable damage to the sport. There's going to be a lot of people that just won't watch baseball for the next next amount of years, cause they're so mad at the sport for arguing about money

in a time when 45 million Americans, I don't know what the current number is, but you know, upwards of 40 million Americans are unemployed, uh, stimulus checks aren't going out on time. You have racial unrest going on in the country, civil unrest, like all this serious stuff, like we talked about earlier is going on. And then you have millionaires and billionaires fighting in the public about who's going to get more money or less money or whatever. It's just all these things are going to have to be done behind closed doors.

Anyway, that's where they should have remained. And then from the very jump that just got put in the public sphere, which is the wrong thing to do. It just occurred to me that with no fans in the stands this year, nobody's going to be there to boo when a pitcher tries to throw it a first base, like more than once in a row. You know, like that, that always cracks me up when fans do that. Does that ever get into your head?

If you like throw it a first base, maybe twice and they start to boo and you're like, Oh shit, I better not do it again. They're really going to let me have it. Not mine, but I do know some pitchers who get the yips on throwing the first. So like they'll come set and they can't, they freak out and they pick over. And then they're like thinking about, well, I didn't mean to pick over. I just did that. Why did I do that?

And then they do it again and again. And I've seen guys pick over like six or seven times in a row, not because they want to, just because they have the yips and the pitching coach has to call time out and come out there and talk to them. But like to break the, to break it out. Yeah. So we'll, we'll see how that happens. It doesn't bother me.

I, I don't mind making people mad. I think you guys, right? Yes. No, that is absolutely true. Actually kind of why we like it. Yeah. The, um, so everyone's talking about how the games are going to be played in terms of managers probably having a shorter leash on their starting

pitching because of 60 games, bigger, uh, rosters. Have you had that conversation yet? Do you fully expect it? Because knowing you, Trevor, you don't like being pulled out of games. Is that fair to say? So what's, what's Trevor Bauer going to be thinking? If he gets pulled after five innings, cause, cause it's a do or die game, game 35, and you're like, I shouldn't be pulled.

I still got stuff left. Yeah. I mean, the competitor in me in the moment is going to be mad. Um, you know, anytime I have the ball in my hand, I feel like I'm the best option, uh, to win for the team to win. I think every, every competitor feels that way, you know? Um, so in the moment that the competitive juice is going to be flowing and I'm going to be upset about it, but, uh, remove me about half an hour or 45 minutes

from the game and I'll probably be in there like, Hey, I only threw 78 pitches today. So can I pitch in two days? Can I come out of the pen? Can I like, let me get back up there and pitch. So I think 60 games or every game is 2.7 times, uh, as important. I think that's what the math works out to. And, um, so higher stakes, every time I take the mound, it's worth basically

three games or what would be three games, which of course, if a five man rotation is, is two weeks. So it's like, you know, you start thinking about like that and it's so much more important, um, we're blessed with the Reds to have a lot of really good talent, a really deep bullpen or really deep starting staff, a lot of guys that can, you know, get, get hitters out at a very high clip. So, uh, basically anyone we throw out there is, is going to be able to get the job done.

And ultimately, you know, I want to play in the postseason, whatever, whatever gives the team the best chance to win, whether it's me, um, or not me, like that's what I want. Have you had a conversation with Dave Bell where you're like, Hey man, like if you come out or you're pitching coach, like if you come out, like, I'm probably going to be an asshole, like give me a minute, like give a safe word or is it like, Hey, if I turn a little bit to center field, just know to leave me alone, cause I'm about to launch one.

If you go even further. Yeah. I think that should be it. It's like no safe word because if there's a safe word, he's too close. He's going to have to, you know, I guess no fans. You could yell it. Yeah. The safe word is like a, it's close thing.

You know, by the time he's already out of the mound, he's taking the ball. So maybe it's like, Hey, if I see you coming out and I turn my back, just go back to the dugout. Just let me be. I love, I love when pitchers have, has that happened to you where you've yelled at a manager and he's gone back? No, because Tito realized really early on that as soon as he stepped out of the dugout, he like made and moved to the umpires.

So no matter how much I pitched him on, you couldn't actually take smart. That's really smart. Yeah. That is a good moment though, when, when the manager says, okay, and for some reason, whenever it happens, I feel like the pitcher always gets the guy out. Yeah. Cause just like a, I'm, I'm the boss here. Let me have this.

It's just one of those like alpha mode. So Tito knew that he, uh, he couldn't do that. Dave Bell's got to be ready for that. Yeah. I mean, the one time that I can think of that it didn't work was Matt Harvey, but it wasn't during an inning, right? It is after, after the eighth inning and like, you know, um, but anyway, that's a, that's a whole other story.

But yeah, uh, I'll probably have that conversation. I've talked to David quite a bit about a lot of different things during this time. So that, that one hasn't come up. I do know that, uh, you know, Great American is a little bit shorter to center field than Kauffman stadium is and the ball flies a little bit better. So that restaurant out there, uh, is definitely within striking range. It's calling your name. But, uh, you know, I'm not about putting one on top of the steamboat out there.

I love the idea of you just sitting down with your manager and being like, all right, first of all, I can be kind of a dick. Like just see it like, okay, let's get it all out there. Usually it doesn't take a meeting to figure that one out. It's true. I do like the idea of them naming like a little part of the restaurant out there after you like to do with big Mackland and St. Louis. Like the dead center, if Trevor can hit a call, I don't know, like the Bauer

alley or something like that. And just, yeah, cool name, but, uh, I mean, there's been all sorts of ones in baseball history. You got the king's court in Seattle. You know, it's a cool, like reading on King Felix to get the flotilla, Padilla, the Padilla flotilla. I don't remember which one it was, but there's all sorts of different cool names. You got the, um, you know, the, the roll call.

What do they call the Yankees? The roll call. There's the bleacher creatures. Maybe it was. Oh, that we're, we're Mickey Man only got a blow job. Yeah. Yeah. No.

Yeah. The Bronx is burning. There you go. Boom. Got it. The bleacher bombs regularly bleach your creatures. Maybe bleach your creatures. Okay.

Yeah. So you're right. Uh, have you been doing any more of the brain stimulation stuff? Yes. I wore it actually yesterday. I pitched yesterday. I wore it, um, the first time I hadn't worn it in like three months. So I was a little bit, I don't want to say rusty, uh, but the, the machine

hadn't been used in a while. And so I put it on and the first like two seconds I was wearing it, I got this really bright white flash and a little bit of pain up on my, uh, up on my head. I'm like, that's probably not good. I probably shouldn't be feeling pain in my brain stimulation. So I took it off, figured out what was wrong and then everything was moving out. How did you figure out what was wrong with your electronic brain

stimulating device? Uh, well, it came back to my, uh, education as an engineer. I'm like, well, there's only one thing that could be wrong that is fixable. And that's, I didn't plug the cord in all the way. Ah, I checked that and I didn't have the cord plugged in all the way. But, uh, any other problem would have been, would have been a short or the machine would have been broken and I wouldn't have been able to use it. So I was hoping it was my stupidity and it was your, you're dangerously close to

being like, to, to just like having the entire corner of dumb baseball injuries. You got the drone injury. If you like go on the DL, cause you electrocuted yourself with a fucking, I don't know, like a head scratcher. You realize that you would be the goat, right? I, you know, I got to be the goat at something by the time I'm done. So that's my calling. I'm fine with it.

I got plenty of other dumb things I could do too. So have you been droning? I have not droned actually. Uh, I've been so busy with business and in the gym that I haven't droned much. Uh, but I've been, I've been enjoying the media stuff and spiking my YouTube channel. Nice. Nice.

Very good. Very good. Uh, have you noticed like after having these couple of months to work on some things that maybe you wouldn't have had time to work on before is spin rate changing. Have you increased what pitch has improved the most for you over the last two months? Uh, man, my fastballs gotten faster. All my pictures are spinning a lot faster now.

I can't explain it. You know, it must be a contract to your thing. You're further south. I could be for, maybe it's more humid, uh, you know, closer to, um, a certain city, maybe closer Houston. Yeah. Yep. Yep.

Yeah. I don't know. We'll, we'll see what it, we'll see what it turns out to be. Uh, yeah, the fastballs gotten faster. My change of text, you've gotten quite a bit better. So I'm excited to see how that plays this season. Um, so my last question, we had Scott Boris on, uh, last week. Or two weeks ago, and you went at him on Twitter and we asked him about it.

He responded that he didn't even know that you had gone at him for a couple of days. He kind of pled, uh, ignorance. Do you believe that? Or do you think he knew right away? Oh, it was interesting how all of a sudden I, you know, about five minutes after I got calls from multiple Boris clients, uh, I got, you know, multiple Boris clients on Twitter trying to come after me and for all sorts of different

reasons. Um, I was getting random burner accounts that were located in Santa Monica, uh, just conveniently, um, in Santa Monica. So tweeting at me accounts that were made the literally the day like that day. Uh, I liked this. So it's a incomplete ignorance. All I want's, um, ultimately no one's going to know for sure, but, uh, we can all have our opinions.

Oh, I like the Trevor Bauer versus Scott Boris feud. Let's get it going. Let's get you guys on the same show. Would you talk to him? I wouldn't even shit in his bathroom. Yeah. Would you talk to him? Like, uh, if we, well, I guess you can't or he couldn't, right?

Because he's not a client. You're not his client. Oh, well, I mean, he's broken that rule plenty. He's been recruiting all sorts of clients and lying to him and paying him supposedly. This is all supposedly, but, you know, making all sorts of ridiculous claims about, you know, all the agencies are going to fail with COVID and I'm going to be the only one left.

And it doesn't matter which agency you're actually with. I run the union anyway. So you're going to have to deal with me and rumors about, you know, paying players to, which is illegal. And I think there's potentially some, some lawsuits coming. I don't know. Can we, can we build a bridge here? Or like, we're like, Hey, we're going to do a podcast with both of you.

How do you think who would say no first? You think he would? What? Yeah. You would say yes. You think I'm scared? I don't know. I mean, he is kind of like Darth Vader.

Challenging Scott Boris to a debate of opinions. And I also don't know if you know, but he, he runs a union. Yeah. I'm not, I'm not above getting my hand chopped off in the lightsaber duel. That would go on the dumb things. True. I would monopolize that portion of the internet. So.

I love it. It's true. There's one other feud that you've been into recently. I think this went back to like July 1st or the end of June. You've been going back and forth with Kurt Schilling, a take ease award presenter, Kurt Schilling. You've been calling him Butt Kurt. And I didn't know if you knew this, but like Skirt Schilling was right there.

And Kurt Schilling was right there. But you went with Butt Kurt. Can you walk us through the decision to go with Butt Kurt? Butt Kurt. Yeah. He was a, he seemed a little bit, a little bit butt hurt on online though. He was coming at me and for, he seemed a little bit salty. You know, I don't know exactly why I didn't go after him.

I didn't go out into his little corner of the internet. He came out of his corner and come onto my corner of the internet. And you know, I'm pretty well known in the internet circles for defending my area, my territory. I don't go after anybody necessarily. Very rarely do I pick a fight, but I will fire back if you come at me. So, you know, starts saying stuff about my stats and my character about not caring about winning and all this ridiculous stuff.

So I just, I thought it was funny, you know, all these old baseball players that can't handle the fact that their careers are done and it's not their time anymore. So I went with Butt Kurt and then he wanted to talk about numbers. So I figured we could talk about 75 million or 115 million or whatever the zero number that's left in his account, we can talk about that. Everyone's saying, oh, you can't have an opinion because Kurt Schelling is, you know, so much better in a picture than you are and all this different stuff. And Kurt has this thing about, you know, shitting on advanced stats.

So I thought it was, I thought it was fun to position him in a way where like I'm better than him with certain regular stats at this point in my career through 28 years old. And he could easily make the case that he's better than me through 28 if he just advanced stats. So I found it really fun to just position him in that position where like you're either worse than me or you have to admit that advanced stats matter. That was fun for me. You would enjoy, we've had him on the show a few years ago and we just put him on fake hold for like 10 minutes. We don't have a hold. It's a podcast.

So we just, we just kept on bouncing him around being like, oh, sorry, you got the wrong number. Let me transfer you upstairs. It's like we were just sitting back and forth across the table. Yeah. People I argue with on the internet, I don't have anything against them. It's like, it's a chess match for me. It's like a battle of whip, you know, who can get the better meme, who can get the better diss, whatever. It's like, yeah, I would do a podcast with Kurt or I would do it. But like, we could talk it out. I may not agree with everything he says.

I may not agree with Aubrey Huff or Scott Boris on everything, but like, I can have a civil conversation. We can talk about the issues. Yeah. It's like the iced tea tweet where he's like, I go, I log on to Twitter, I talk some shit and then I log off. Yeah, that's it. It's a perfect way to do it. When I'm not competing, when I'm not on the field, I can't talk shit. Like I'm not talking shit to my parents and my friends, you know? You definitely talk shit to your dad. I do. That's fair, but not in the volume.

But I do do the season. When I'm there in the clubhouse during season, there's 30 other guys around that I can pick. I can pick on someone new every day. I get made fun of plenty too. But when we're not in that environment, I get the itch sometimes. So I just get some control. I said something stupid and I fire back. All right. Well, Trevor, thank you so much. We appreciate you joining us. Everyone follow him on Twitter. And like I said, he's got movement media, which is doing some awesome stuff. You got to check him out.

He's partnering with Ken Griffey, Jr. And they're doing, you have a, is it just for the YouTube page where people could say, watch, oh, sorry, momentum. I screwed that up. Momentum media. It's momentum on YouTube. It's watch dash momentum on most socials. Watch underscore momentum as well. You can find me, Bauer outage on all the socials and it's all linked in my bios. If that's easier too. Yes. Okay. Awesome. Well, thank you, man. We appreciate it. I would say best of luck, but I'm a Cubs fan. So I hope that you suck this year really bad.

Oh, I hope I'm just really good against the Cubs and we can talk after the season. Yeah. Oh, like that time that you cut your finger off in the drone right before the world series? Yeah, I'll take a redo. All right, man. Have a good one. All right. See you guys. Thanks for having me on. Trevor Bauer was brought to you guys by our good, good friends over at Meundies. Have you ever seriously considered the underwear that graces your nether regions? You've got some important stuff down there. Well, thankfully, Meundies has, which is why they're changing the game with softer than soft sustainable.

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very slim right now. Meundies has a great offer for my listeners for any first-time purchasers. You get 15% off in free shipping. It's a no-brainer especially because they have that 100% satisfaction guarantee. Just go to meundies.com slash take. Get 15% off that first order free shipping and your 100% satisfaction guarantee at meundies.com slash take. Okay, let's get some segments. First up we have a PR101 for Deshaun Jackson. I'm going to say this. Just as a rule, if you're ever going to post something that starts with Hitler said, not a great idea. Usually a real easy way to bow out of posting whatever that is. Just click the X button on Internet Explorer. Maybe if it's like Hitler said, where's past me my cyanide? Even that. Yeah, probably just avoid the H man altogether.

And then he went on to apologize for and say, I didn't realize that what that quote from Adolf Hitler meant. I think you don't have to get into really the nuance of this to understand that you should not be posting anything by Adolf Hitler on social media. That's just a great rule of thumb. I think he also went with a little defense like, I'm not anti-Semitic. I actually was trying to quote Louis Farrakhan, which is like, oh, okay, another notable anti-Semite. Not putting down that shovel just yet. The world just really went downhill in general when we started letting wide receivers wear numbers in the teens. I like it. Well, it's all the chiefs. You know, here's the deal. That's very confusing watching the chiefs play because it's like, oh, that guy's fast. I like

it. But the numbers go into the teens. Next thing you know, you got Riley Cooper. You got Deshaun Jackson. Julian Edelman's probably going to just ask to be able to play shirtless during games next year. It's a very slippery slope. That's all I'm saying. There is a PR101 for Deshaun Jackson. Odell Beckham counterfeited money and handed it out to players at LSU. True. True. Just nothing really great comes from having teens. Yeah. So yeah, Deshaun Jackson, you're kind of out on your own there, dude. Whoops. Whoops. All right. Just tweet. I'm snacking girl. There you go. Just try to bury it. I did that today when someone was posting a picture of my breasts. Just bury it with I'm snacking. Did it work? Yeah. Oh yeah. Change the conversation. The picture of your

breasts is off the internet now. Correct. That's good. Okay. Let's get to our Mount Rushmore. This one is going to be a doozy. I'm very excited for this one. So the Redskins name change has been in the news and it was brought to the attention that Daniel Snyder in his infinite wisdom at one point tried to argue that the trademark, the U.S. trademark, U.S. patented trademark office was using arbitrary terms on what was offensive or not. So they filed a legal brief that here's what it was. It was the Washington NFL team is once again appealing the cancellation of their Washington Redskins trademark. This time using the defense that the U.S. patent and trademark office has fostered arbitrary enforcement since it has granted trademarks to other names the team

believes are racist or misogynistic, vulgar or otherwise offensive. So they then listed a bunch of trademarks of offensive names of companies and this was Lindsey Gibbs tweeted this out, this list. We're going to do a Mount Rushmore of these companies because they're fucking ridiculous and hilarious that anyone would actually come up with a company like this. So we're going to do that Mount Rushmore. The thing is Snyder ended up not being wrong about that. What? Like they agreed with them that, yeah, we can't say that the Redskins is too offensive to be trademarked. If we have hot octopus, anti premature, ejaculation creams. Dude, don't go all, don't ruin the Mount Rushmore. Okay. All right. So let's do it. We're going to

do the Mount Rushmore of offensive, or no, yeah, Mount Rushmore of offensive trademarks that Dan Snyder tried to use to defend the Redskins. And Billy's also going to do a Mount Rushmore of cutest animals. So you're going to be in the draft bill. You're going to be picking forth. Hank, you want to go first, then PFT then myself. Sure. My number one pick. I just based it on terms of the ones that made me laugh the hardest the first time I went through. Correct. Boys are stupid throw rocks at them wallets. It's pretty good. I like that. I like that. That was that was on my list as well. This is an easy number one for me. Dick Balls. Dick Balls apparel. Why wallets too? That's what like where someone was clearly mad. Someone clearly got broken up with their

something bad happened. They're like, I'm going to start a company to spite men. Yes. Let's let's get them where accounts wallets. Yes. Okay, I'll do which ones you picked. I picked Dick Balls. I like the ones that are. Yeah, Dick Balls that are very just like, Hey, here's what we are. We're not hiding it. So my first pick will be party with Sluts apparel. Just pretty much straight to the point. Hey, you're a dude. You want to party with Sluts? Yeah, here's some fucking clothes for you. How much equity did Rob Ruckowski give to his brothers when they came up with that idea? Fuck, man. I can't believe someone came up with that. Okay, Billy, your first and second cutest animals. First one up teacup pigs. Oh, they are so cute. Nice. Have you ever seen like a

picture of a teacup pig licking an ice cream cone? It's the best. That's good. Okay. My second pick is pygmy African pygmy hedgehogs. Those are the ones you always see online. Yes, they take your hands. Yes. And okay, yeah, that's good. That's good. That's good. We'll come back. Okay, we're going to come back to you. I so sticking with I'm going to go heavy on apparel, a lot of apparel companies on this, but another one that's just straight into the point exactly what you want. I'll go with I love vagina apparel. So just really letting you know this is what this is what we do here. Wait, is it I love vagina apparel or is it I love and it's apparel for your vagina? No, it's I love vagina apparel. Oh, it's not like I love merkins. No, no, it's it's it's apparel for

us. We love vagina. Okay, boom for for dudes. Yes, exactly. We're really hammering this home. Your dude that likes to fuck. I got both apparel companies for you. They must have sold so many bumper stickers to dudes that drove Honda Civic size. I love vagina apparel. I'm for my second, I'm going to go with retardopedia. Retardopedia. Just I can't believe that that's I can't believe that that's an actual company. How like, I actually I literally can't believe that that's so it's a website. It's a it's a website and knock off on Wikipedia. I'm going to actually I'm going to go there right now. What an outrageous, outrageous, like, how high or yeah, how high were you when you came up with that guys? Like, I imagine that's like the okay, so it has nothing to do with people

who are mentally challenged whatsoever besides the outlandish name. It's just it's looks like a collection of people that have done stupid things. Oh my god. Okay, that's a hell of a hell of an idea. But it's very nice. You know, this is how they probably got that approved. It says what retardopedia is not. It's not associated with Wikipedia.org. It's not associated anyway. So disambiguation right there in case you were wondering. You landed here. You're in the wrong place. It's not a sister site. Yes. All right, Hank, your next two. There's a lot of good ones. Edible, crotchless, gummy panties, lingerie, lingerie. Okay. And milkweed bags. Those are those are two where it's like the guys were like milkweed bags is so good.

It wait is it again the same question? Is it milkweed and its bags? I was thinking weed bags with a various mills from yes on them. Yes, and like it's like a collection like Pokemon got to collect them all. You want to get all the milk bags. Yeah, I was thinking it was like a something that could easily fit a quarter pound or an ounce of something whatever product that you wanted. And it was just labeled as milk. It's it's such a genius marketing like what can we corner? How about the guys who smoke too much and get really horny milkweed bags? What do you think about when you're when you're super high? Milfs. I just did a Google search of milkweed bags and did the images and there's a shirt on Etsy that's high milfs matter. I love it. I need to interview someone.

Hank is correct. All milfs matter. Listen, I'm shocked that Spencer gifts in by all those shirts the second they hit Etsy. Man, milfs. Okay. Wow. Go ahead. All right. My next pick is going to be they're just so many really good ones on here. I'm going to go with slut seeker. Okay. Let's see her dating services. So you can imagine probably what that very to the point. Fuck. What I should have done a different one. Oh, which one? Which one do you want to tell you because you'll choose it? Which one do you want to do? Go ahead. You can say it. I don't say no, you're going to take it. I won't say it. You go. Okay. My next one. I'm going to go into the underwear department. Very simple. Jizz underwear. God damn it. Jizz. Jizz underwear. Do you like

jizzing in your underwear? Well, we got the underwear for you. Jizz underwear. Do you think that that specific product is going after like dudes who have wet dreams like late into their 40s? Yeah. I think it's just like it's milky white colored underwear so that you can't get caught if you know it. It's got a little basket ready to go. You don't even have to wake up and change your underwear. You don't want to Google jizz underwear. Okay. I wasn't going to. Nope. No. Okay. No. Billy, your last two cute animals. Cutest animals alive. Pygmy marmosets. Okay. Those are the little monkeys that you see always wrapped around someone's finger like. Oh, they're so cute. Yeah. Good call. And then last but not least,

classic puppies. Puppies. I was going to be mad if you didn't do puppies. Good choice. I was going to be mad if you didn't do puppies. Big time. Okay. My last pick. Pygmy marmosets are so cute. So cute. I probably a little bit of a theme here but or kind of a theme on all of these. I'll go with big titty blend coffee. Just like, hey, I mean, you're going to promise me big titties with my coffee in and in and in. I would definitely. What about bubonic plague? You think that should have been, you know, like a creamer instead of a coffee? Yeah. Fuck. I bet you it is. That's smart. Damn, Hank. That's really smart. Big titty creamer. Big titty creamer. Yeah, that's a it's a separate brand entirely but maybe a subset of jizz underwear. I also appreciate it. I don't

think any of you guys are going to pick this one but Dumb Blonde beer. I appreciate the big titty blend coffee doesn't tell us. It could be any hair color. It's just all the matters is the big tits. I think they have different flavors of the coffee. Yes. It really lets you, it really lets you explore. All right. Your last pick. My last one is going to be twaddy girl cartoons. Okay. Twaddy girl. Twad is an underrated word, I think, in terms of what we think of when you think of British people cussing all the time. We just think of them dropping the hard sea bomb. Yeah. But they love saying twat. Yes. It slaps different. Yes. There's one that's really good that's out there still. Thug porn? Nope. That's my last one. Okay. That's your last one. All right.

Like thinking of that being a category on Pornhub is like someone who's like, like they typed in it was like, how is this not a thing? Yeah, like, oh man, we found him. Yeah, we found a fucking glitch in the system here. I was thinking of Reformed Whore's musical bands. Is that a management? It's a band. I think it's got to be a band, a Reformed Whore's. Okay. What about Crippled Old Biker Bastards? It doesn't actually say what that is. White girl with a booty apparel. That's just juicy. Uh huh. Right? Like that's baby. Or baby. That's baby is what it is. Yeah. These, um, God, I just imagined some dude who I imagined Dan Snyder being like, yes, fine. All right. Good. Like we're good. Not only that, don't worry. Like, don't worry. They probably

have like people worrying about the name. Like you guys can stop working. Like not only that, we're good. But think about the like the man or woman who graduated top of their class Harvard Law. And like this came across their desk. They're like, we're going to have to have you go and find the most offensive brands out there. It's like, this is what I went to law school for to go and find, you know, slut seeker dating services. Okay. I actually think that what happened was Dan Snyder was, I can't believe they rejected the name Redskins. Vinnie Serato off the top of your head. Can you think of some other names? And Vinnie was just like, hot octopus, anti premature ejaculation creams, old geezer ones, ghetto booty, bound gang bang, shank the bitch board game, cracker

skateboards, anal fantasy collection, clitoris sex toys. Thanks. Thanks, Vinnie. That'll be enough. Hot octopus, anti premature ejaculation. Didn't no one pick that right? I should have. That was a good one. Also, I there there's a list. They're all offensive, except for milk stew porn.com is not offensive. That is a great website. I'm sure it's also never been. It's just a fact. Right. They do do porn. All right. That's our Mount Rush where it's gonna look so fucking funny with Billy's cute animals next to it. Make your own dildo. We'll make sure that we get the phrasing right there, Bubba, so that people know that we weren't just coming up. Yes, I don't I actually don't like this one. Take your panties off clothing. I don't like that at all. Yeah. It's

like, why would you buy the panties? It's terrible. It's telling you not to buy these clothes. Maybe if a guy's wearing that and a girl's like, I like your shirt. Oh, yeah. Yeah, dude walks up. Yeah, but it's wearing like a Letterman jacket that says take your panties off. And the girl just immediately. Oh, well, you said it because she's just spraying all over the place. Let's go. Yeah, let's do it. Booty call sex aids. What the fuck? Oh, my God. All right. You should just never sell anything called called sex aids. Yes. Yeah, that's true. Sexual assistance. All right. Let's go do guys on chicks before we do that. You had one more ad. Yes, we have a special ad read. It is from CBD MD. And they want Billy to get practiced doing the Mount Rushmore so that one day he

can get called up to the big leagues and do an actual Mount Rushmore instead of sitting at the kids table. So Billy, what is the Mount Rushmore they want you to do? They would like me to do a Mount Rushmore of daily BS. So I've made a list. My first Mount Rushmore of daily BS is waking up sore from squat McGuettin the day before where you just can't get out of bed because your legs are just destroyed. So you do legs every day? Well, I do a lot of legs. Legs feed the wool. What about squattober? Squattober? Oh, you don't even know about squattober. You're not really legs. Getting all sweaty, running to the store for big cat and PFTs, snacks and beverages. That's another daily grind. I'm in this tiny studio, just sweaty, gets real smelly. What are the snacks? Well,

you're actually also the only one that works out in here. Oh, yeah, that is true. You get smelly in here. Yeah, I can tell when Billy's been working out. It smells like what's the fertility stuff? AXE. AXE, yeah, makes you super potent. Next. PFT's favorite snack is Reese's Pieces and Big Cats' Sour Patch Watermelon. My third Mount Rushmore is having trouble locating an adult male African bullfrog, which is becoming way harder than I thought. I'm trying to create the world's largest frog. And my last Mount Rushmore of daily BS is when people constantly tell you to speak into the mic and that you're a lip on Twitter. All right, very good, Billy. Well, no matter what you're dealing with, I think we can all agree that it's always good to have some support. Luckily,

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use the promo code TAKE at checkout. Take, T-A-K-E at checkout. Once again, that's CBDMD.com, promo code TAKE for 25% off your purchase of superior CBD oil products from CBDMD. Okay, let's finish up the show. Thank you, Billy. Let's finish up the show with guys on chicks. How can I get my, this is a vacation themed or summer themed guys on chicks. First one, how can I get my boyfriend to stop playing spike ball the entire time we go to the beach? Hank, your reformed spike ball addict. Beat him in spike ball. It's very easy. That's probably the cut the net very simple way to get him to stop. Yes, say you'll pack the spike ball and forget one leg. Okay, that's good. That's good. Hey, Jake, we're gonna have a fucking Elam ending or whatever the

fuck in this game. High Warzone. High Warzone, honks, stashcat and Karen loving PFT. I've been dating this guy on and off for over a year now and we were planning a beach trip together and last minute I found out that he was going with just the boys and I didn't find out until he was already on the trip. He told me it's because his family beach house and he couldn't bring a girl but still hasn't followed through on our trip to a different place. I'm still mad about it and it's been two weeks. Should I let it go or is he being shady? I don't think he's being shady. I think what happened was the plan was to have it be couples and then like one guy was like I'm not bringing mine then one guy was like yeah I'm not bringing my girlfriend and then it just

dominoes fall and then he's left being like well yeah boystrip. A lot of times it's just tradition too like if you go to the same beach house with the boys for three summers in a row then all of a sudden it's a thing where it's like this is our boys week where we can finally just be dudes. Here's what you get though. You can guilt him into a weekend trip at some point later on this summer so get that. That is you have full upper hand on that. You just give a big sigh and be like make sure you don't go outside while he's gone so get pale as possible and be like yeah would really love to go somewhere this summer. You can do that or you can just go ahead and you can tell him that you had your own girls weekend while he was gone on his guys weekend

and like make t-shirts for yourself and stuff that say clam jam 2020. But then he'll feel like he's off the hook. No but then he gets back and he's like fuck I feel bad because my girlfriend went and had an awesome time without me I shouldn't have done that. I don't think I would ever feel that way. If you came back if you came back and your girlfriend was rocking a clam jam 2020 shirt like but you had a great. I'm not even talking about like the midriff cut out I'm talking about like the little Ezekiel Elliott like braids on the midriff going around the back and she was like sunburn everywhere. But you had an awesome time with your boys at the beach all week. Yeah. They could be like sick now I don't take you anywhere. Yeah.

Sup boys especially chan cat why does saltwater make our nipples shape especially hard under our bikinis. I don't know the answer to that. That's dehydration. Yeah it sucks all the water out of them. Yeah and the milk. Does that happen to the nipples get the nipples hurt under a bikini. That sucks. Damn. Osmosis. Yeah there you go. There it is Billy. Also try using a appealed coconut. Yeah. For the bronze or just French. No tops. Oh you got a piss on it. Anything that hurts you while you're at the beach. The best way to get rid of the sting. Just take a leak on it. Yep. Someone this is a quick one but sunscreen sent move or no. You think you're tougher than the sun. No. The fucking sunscreen. Why wouldn't you do the sunscreen. Slower tan. Hey boys last one.

Hey boys especially vacation honk. My boyfriend is this weird obsession with pooping in the ocean and it's one of his favorite parts of our beach vacation. Aquadump. He'll be giddy for his first shit in the ocean and specifically holds it until we get there from our condo. How should I go about getting him to stop or should I just let his urges go since he enjoys it so much. I mean at the end of the day fish it in the ocean all day. That's exactly what I said. Fish it in the ocean. You don't have to wipe afterwards if you're getting waves hitting you. It's actually wonderful. So it's a wonderful sensation. I wouldn't recommend doing it all the time because then you become the I shit in the ocean guy. But yeah I think he's he's there. He's already there. Maybe just feed him

a bunch of cheese before you leave for just like load him up with string cheese on the drive to the beach and then hopefully he just plugs himself right up. I just hope he's a good swimmer because the awkward juice is great but if you're not a good swimmer you're basically just dumping on yourself. If you can't get away fast enough and you also I mean there's there are things can happen. You just got to make sure that yeah it's a it's a risky move but it's also a very good move when you can pull it off seamlessly. It's extremely rewarding. Yeah but again I don't think that you should it's kind of like one of those honor amongst thieves things that guys that take aquedoms don't tell other people when they're doing it. You just go out there you handle your

business and then you just kind of walk back in take a peek behind your swim trunks make sure there's no stains no harm no foul. Yes all right that's our show we will see everyone on Friday. Are we watching a documentary? No. Yes we are. There's one on Netflix called Home Game which we've gotten a lot of. It's got like eight episodes though. Oh really? Yeah I've watched a couple of them. It's pretty good. I thought it was I thought it was like the last one where it's like eight sports and one. We could watch two of them so watch two the Calcio Storico. What is it? Calcio Storico. Yeah that one is good and then I watched the Scottish Games one which was pretty sick so let's do those two. We'll tweet that out. It's only like 25 minutes each but yeah it's a cool series so

we'll do that for Friday and we'll see everyone on Friday. Love you guys especially you Indian part of my day question. Talking away. I don't know what I have to say I'll say anyway. Today's another day to find it. Shine it away. I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for you, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your服 c, I'll be coming for your love, I'll' wait for you, because you're Just to say that love is the way You often talk stuff, do you remember? You be shying away I'll be coming for you anyway

Take on me Take me on I'll be gone You've got to change