Pardon My Take - Von Miller, Super Bowl Storylines And Lebron Blames

Episode Date: January 22, 2020

It's time for Super Bowl storylines. Andy Reid vs Kyle Shanahan for the biggest choker? Fullbacks and the Big ten. Will this be the last Super Bowl in Miami because of global warming? And much more. (2:41-23:13) Hot Seat/Cool Throne including NFL Draft in Vegas and Iguanas are dying at an alarming rate. (23:14-35:00) Super Bowl MVP Von Miller joins the show to talk about Chickens, offseason, and how he will pay us if we can force the Broncos to let him start running the ball. (36:23-1:02:19) Segments include bachelor talk for guys that don't watch the bachelor, (1:04:25-1:07:44) embrace debate who is the real hot boi, (1:07:45-1:09:48) Lebron Blames, (1:09:49-1:11:32) and guys on chicks.(1:112:33-1:19:04) You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have Super Bowl MVP, many-time Pro Bowler, Vaughn Miller in studio. We're current guests. We've had him on a few times. He's always great to be on. We also have a new deal with him where we're going to get paid and maybe the listeners get paid if we can get Vaughn Miller to run the ball next year in Vic Fangio's offense, which isn't really an offense, whatever. But if it involves running the football, then it is. And it is. We have Super Bowl storylines. We have Hot Seat Cool Throne. We have Bachelor Talk, Guys on Chicks, a pack show for you. The pipes are going to keep

going. Fastball coming. Fuckin' A, Pete. You motherfucker. Everyone tweeted all business, Pete, right now. Tell him to fuck off. He's an asshole. It's so easy to clean these pipes. So goddamn easy. Is it really? It has to. Probably. Has to be. Cleaning pipes, you would know. Clean the pipes up. Yeah. All right. We're brought to you by the Cash App. We're in the Cash App Studio. Part of my take is brought to you by the Cash App. Not only is it the easiest place to send money to your friends, but it's also a place where you can buy fractional shares of stock with as little as one dollar. I'll take it this time. I'm going to invest in clean pipes. There's got to be some kind of, Steve Jobs has figured this out. I'm going to invest in the economy and Warren Buffett.

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Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Go put in code Barstool. You get $10 for free, $10 to ASPCA. Today is Wednesday, January 22nd. And we're going to do some Super Bowl storylines. Storyline City. Storylines before you even know that they're storylines. It's actually gotten pretty predictable the last couple years. Where they're going. We usually get 33% of what we're going to toss out here is going to be put in your face by big national football media writers. So let's do it this way. Let's knock out the low hanging fruit. Let's knock out the ones that we know everyone's going to talk about. And then we'll get to maybe the more detailed ones that no one will be talking about except us. So first one that we got to get out of the way. It's the

redemption, the revenge, whatever you want to call it for Kyle Shanahan and you read. Yes. Big time fuck ups in big time moments in Super Bowl history. Can they get over the hump? Can they get that big win? And I'm actually more excited for whoever loses this because now they're a choke artist. That narrative is going to continue. It's going to be the lamarification of what's going to happen. If Kyle Shanahan for whatever reason decides to have Jimmy G throw the ball 30 times, that's all we're going to be talking about. I think luckily the way this offense is built, he's made it impossible for him to forget to run the football. So he's like he's taken that out of his own hands and also any read the other way. Any read could throw it like, you know, 95% of the

time and do the same thing to himself. Yeah, that could happen again. I mean, the whole thing is going to be great. Also with Andy Reed, I don't think anyone's going to blame him if he has Patrick Mahomes throw the ball. No, true, true. So they've kind of both gotten the way of our narrative, which I don't appreciate, but good for them for both doing that. I think a no brainer. This is probably going to happen real early in the week. Peter King is going to talk about the Cuban coffee. Peter King is going to be writing about the cortados, all the different sorts of Miami Arabic cabins or whatever they're called. So that's going to be front and center. The first thing he notices is that and then probably cigar city micro brews are everywhere. Oh, nice. Wait, under

redemption. We also have to throw in D Ford. That's going to be a big conversation. You know, fucked up them going to the Super Bowl last year. People forget Tom Brady would have had an interception on that play of D Ford's not off sides. D Ford is now in this game going against his former team. Right. That's a redemption. Now, likewise with Andy Reed, if he wins this Super Bowl legacy, we're talking legacy, two questions come along with that one Hall of Famer. Is he all? Yes. He all famous. He loses. Yes. I think he is too. But no doubter if he wins. Yeah, only three. Only three coaches in the Hall of Fame without a Super Bowl. If Bill Cowher's in the fucking Hall of Fame, Andy Reed should be in the Hall of Fame. That's a good point. Andy Reed's got

a way better of a coach than Bill Cowher. I hope they make it. Bill Cowher, one ring. I understand. Bill Cowher has lowered the bar for the Hall of Fame. Bill Cowher is basically like a few games over 500 lifetime, right? I don't know. Jeff Fisher should be in the Hall of Fame. I agree. Two wins away from top 10 of all times. They should make Andy Reed's Hall of Fame bust out of butter like to do it a state fair. Minnesota State Fair. Yeah. Also with Andy Reed, if he does win, are we talking retirement? No, not with Patrick Mahomes. It would be nice. It'd be one thing if it was like the end of the road, but this is Andy Reed can coast with it. Patrick Mahomes for a while. Would that be great though to see him go out on top? No chance.

On one hand, it would break my heart. No. On the other, I get it, Andy. You know, it's going to reinvigorate him. He's going to be looking for more. How about this one, Hank, best tight end in the league? Yep. Or like the most gregarious, most eccentric, cool tight end. Kind of big, hardy, like meathead, but lovable. Best current tight end in the league. Travis Kelsey or George Kittle. It's a Kittle. Great Kittle. No, it's definitely great Kittle, but that will be a discussion that will be had. Yeah. Another obvious one is the quarterback connection between San Francisco, Kansas City. Looking back throughout history, you've got Alex Smith. You've got Joe Montana. You've got Bono. You've got Gerback. So for a while, Steve DeBerg,

it was what John Boyce's article said it was what 149 wins with the X 49ers. So 49er that was a drafted 49er won 149 games for the chiefs while the drafted chief won zero for their three decade span. That's so impressive. It's crazy. There was, I think it was like 200. I wrote it down. It was like 261 starts by 231 starts by a San Francisco 49er drafted quarterback for the Kansas City Chiefs. That's incredible. It's like the pipeline goes straight from San Francisco to KC. Steve DeBerg had 52 starts and three postseason starts. Joe Montana 25 starts, four postseason starts. I mean, I was too young, but like Joe Montana going to the AFC championship, kind of forgot that. Steve Bono had 31 starts, one playoff start, Elvis Gerback 47, one playoff start, Alex Smith

76, five playoff starts. So literally for three decades straight, the chiefs only had quarterbacks that were drafted by the 49ers. The best part about that stat though, Brody Croyal, 10 starts for the chiefs drafted by the chiefs own 10. Oh no. Yeah. So he ruined it. I was hoping he could have had one in there. Who's the combo breaker? Was it was it Heward? I don't know who exactly. Wait, no, no, it's Patrick Mahomes is the combo breaker. He was the first one to get started because he started for Alex Smith. Right. They had their chance to get it. Right. Yeah. Right. Yeah, that's going to be funny. And also because of the quarterback connection, we got to mention Joe Montana, Joe Montana doing a million interviews this week and saying, well, my team's going to win.

Oh God, that's going to be good. I'm excited for that from Joe Montanable. He already tweeted that. So we're good. He's going to be walking around like a NASCAR driver this week, just with all the different sponsors doing any interview. Anyone that wants to stick a microphone in Joe's face on the street, he will give you an interview. What? What if you're a 49ers fan and Joe Montana doesn't say I'm rooting for the 49ers? That would piss me off. Maybe it's one of the situations where it ended poorly and he switched sides. I don't care. I would piss me off. If Joe Montana shows up to the Super Bowl wearing anything but a 49ers shirt, that would piss me off. He should do the cornflakes. Is he doing the cornflakes? I'm sure he'll be involved. Okay.

Other stories. Super Bowl. I think Hank mentioned this. Super LIV and Live is one of the hottest nightclubs in Miami. So they're going to get a ton of free promotions. Someone for like Sports Illustrated or maybe Wall Street Journal will do a, the real live is here. Like interview people at 3am drunk. We need to find out, Jake, if you're listening, how much free advertising is live getting this week? Expected free advertising. Let's get on that before other national sports media journalists on that note. I think it should be a Super Bowl story, but it won't be that it's bullshit that the Super Bowl logo sucks and has sucked for the last 15 years. Because they don't change it. It was awesome. Now it's just the numerals in like steel and it looks

terrible. Yeah. It's like Roger Goodell found a font for the Super Bowl and he's not changing it. If you're, if you're under the age of 24, go look at what the Super Bowl logos look like in the 90s. It was cool. They were sweet and it was cool. You would buy a hat every year because it looked awesome. Now it's, it was cool when you used to be able to put the patches on your jacket. I love the guys, by the way, that walk around the best with the like Letterman jackets that have the patches from every Super Bowl. Their teams won. Someone's out there. I think there's two guys that have gone to every Super Bowl. There'll be a story about them. But yeah, there's, it sucks now. The industrial complex of the Super Bowl is taken over and it's just these, these huge fucking numerals,

which I hate that part too. Just give me the numbers, right? Because it always screws me up. That should be a story. What else do we have here? We've got Battle of the Fullbacks. Yup. Big Battle of the Fullbacks. Oh yeah, that's a big story. People are talking about it. No, they already are because it's Jusiek and they always say he's going to be a story about himself because they're going to find out he went to Harvard. Anytime you can write a story about a football player that somehow went to Harvard, they're going to be able to write that. So it's going to be, it's going to be Sherman, Jusiek, our Fullbacks officially back as first reported by Part of My Take last year. Yes. They are officially back. How about this fun stat for you? Ready for

this? First time in seven years that the Super Bowl will not have LeGarret Blunt or CJ Anderson. That is a very fun stat. Isn't that fun? That's fun, right? CJ Anderson last year with the Rams, LeGarret Blunt with the Eagles in 2018, again in 2017 with the Patriots, then CJ Anderson with the Broncos in 2016, Blunt with the Patriots in 2015, and then CJ Anderson in 2014 with the Broncos. That's a fun one. It's crazy. They never played in the same Super Bowl. Right. That's just a random one. I wish the Chief should sign CJ Anderson right now. I mean, they can do it just to keep it going. Belichick used to cut a guy the night before the Super Bowl just for fun. Yep. That could happen this year. You never know. Oh, Sports Illustrated having a party on Saturday night, even though they

laid off half their staff. Yeah, that's gonna be a big story line and see how many people from Sports Illustrated actually show up and think enough of their bosses to go to their own party. Darren Revelle rating the quality of females at different Super Bowl parties. That's right. That did happen at Playboy. Playboy used to be good. The models at Playboy used to be good looking according to Darren Revelle, but when he got his invite to the Playboy mansion, hold on. I'm gonna pull it up. It's it's an all time all time. Oh, here it is. Playboy not having gorgeous women. Hold on. Playboy not having gorgeous playmates at its Super Bowl party does affect a brand that is already faltering. Hashtag reality. Here's reality. That's reality,

bro. That's just fucking that. That's reality right now. Have it if he was alive. No, no. No, this was actually in 2012. Yeah. Hashtag reality. You can that really drives at home. Yeah, you're right, Darren. You're right. Playboy back when you used to hide. I guarantee you, Darren never hit a Playboy in his house. He probably like walked up to a playmate was like, can you do a quick spin for me and like took a quick note was like, yep, not up to stuff. Not great. Not great for the D man. Yeah, let me see those heels. Okay. Robert Sala, his birthday is this week. Oh, he's in birthday week. So he's he was born on January 31st. Everyone's talking about his birthday. Wow. So it's going to be really it's going to be Robert Sala and then Eric

B. Enemy going up against each other two coordinators that were not offered head coaching gigs this offseason. Okay. Here's one I found CBS Sports posted this one. This one is very stupid, but I kind of like it. If Andy Reed wins the Super Bowl, it will be his 222nd career win his second Super Bowl title because he won with the Packers as an assistant coach, and it will come on 22 2020 lot twos. Well, so it dovetailing off that the Super Bowl is going to be played on a palindrome this year. So it's 02022020 same forward as it is backwards. Wait, but it's not 202. Wait. Yeah. Oh, 202. 202 zero. But if you go backwards, where the other zeros come from 0202. Oh, I see what you're saying. 020. I still am missing the if you go backwards. Okay. So if

you write down, write this down on a piece of paper, do a little visual. Okay, ready? I got it. 0202. 0202. Oh, yeah, 020220. Now that's because I was turning it upside down. Out the zeros in there. Oh, the zeros at the front. I was yet. Yeah, February is the oh, second month. I don't put those zeros in. I just go to also. It's being played on Groundhogs Day. Speaking of Groundhogs Day, the last time the Niners was being played on Groundhogs Day. Speaking of Groundhogs Day, the last time the Niners played a Super Bowl in this stadium, they won. So is history going to repeat itself? That's interesting. 1994. 95. 95 Super Bowl 94 season Chargers monkey off their back. Steve Young now means business. That's right. And in that time, the Niners have not won a game

in Miami Stadium, the Hard Rock Stadium, whatever was called before. Damn. They have not won a game since 1995. So it's been 25 years. Damn. The Chiefs, on the other hand, are eight and three in that stadium, which is a fun fact. That is fun. Marlins man, just him in general. Yeah, Jeter. Jeter. Marlins man's cats. Cocaine. Someone will write a story about the cocaine. Yeah. Jimmy Garoppolo's dad is named Tony, like Tony Montana. Tony Garoppolo. Everything will be spelled Miami vice. Yeah, tax font. You'll get everything. That will be cool. Jimmy G is now in Miami, which is the home of Brazzers. So it's going to be like a candy store. Yeah, it's a home game for him. Yeah. Yeah. Some people are talking about this. I don't know if a lot of people are, but some

people are saying this is the big 10 Super Bowl because I've been saying teams that have the most players represented. Iowa has four players. Penn State has five by far the most. Right. Also, that's another bowl victory for the big 10. Also, the Bears gave their best players, the 49ers, and they took the worst play caller from Kansas City. Yes. So now Kansas City is in there because you guys got their chips. And the Bears X players also played for Big 10 schools, Purdue and Penn State. Good point. And the Chiefs wouldn't be in the Super Bowl if the Bears didn't draft Mitch Trebisky instead of Patrick Mahomes. Actually, Will Brinton had a hot take. I got tagged on a tweet that he said that if Mitch Trebisky got drafted by the Chiefs and Patrick Mahomes got

drafted by the Bears, Mitch Trebisky would be better than Patrick Mahomes. That is quite a take. So it's an institutional failure, which I actually agree with that. Yeah, I like that. That's a good, that's a very, very good. Every quarterback. Best take of the week so far, Steven A. Smith got to take your hat off to him. He's the best in the business for a reason. He said this morning that if the Chiefs had Alex Smith, they would be in the Super Bowl as well. Yes. So is Patrick Mahomes a system quarterback? Yes, he said he's great, but it's really the skill players that make him great. They're good, but they make him great. They're fast. Another one, we've got Texas Tech's own Patrick Mahomes in the Super Bowl. Miami is the closest

city to where Mike Leach lives. That is definitely going to be a storyline. 100% of the storyline. Someone will write that story for sure. It definitely will. Also, congratulations to the municipality of Miami, the city, whatever it's called. Dade County. Dade County. This is your 11th Super Bowl. This puts you number one in the history of the universe. Number one in the universe. Most Super Bowls. A lot of people are giving out number one in the universe these days. Do you think anyone will enjoy this Miami Super Bowl because with global warming, there may not be another one? Yes. We should write that. We'll get that take and we'll get the Chiefs need to change their name take. Yeah. What has changed since the last time

Miami had the Super Bowl? Well, the water has risen and now all these houses are going to be submerged next time we have it. They should actually give, the NFL should announce that the Super Bowl is going back to Miami in like 2060 so that we can then write all the stories be like probably not going to happen. I like the Chiefs one. That one for sure. We've talked about that before, but if you get into a championship game, if you're the Indians, the Redskins, the Braves, Chiefs, you will get the score. I actually think that there's only one way that those teams will change their names and that's if there's a C words, R words Super Bowl. When they play against each other, I think at that point the NFL will be like, hey guys,

it's fine to have one of you here. Now it's like everyone's talking about it. Too much of a good thing, Mr. Snyder. There'll be that the zag of everyone saying, well, this is the first of many Super Bowls for Patrick Mahomes and then someone will say, well, are we sure that it's the Chiefs that are going to go on a run or is it the Niners that are going to go on a run? Because they might be set up better. We are going to get some Dan Marino never won a Super Bowl talk. Oh, poor Dan. Let me just say, if you're thinking about going there, don't. Dan is a good player and an even better person. He is so even-keeled, mild-mannered, happy-go-lucky. This is not on him. The mayor of Miami. Yeah, everyone thought he was going to go to multiple Super Bowls after he dropped that

person. Oh, Mercury Morris, speaking of cocaine, might be involved sometime this week. Call that his own Super Bowl. Okay, we got any others? Hank, do you have any? The first Super Bowl, the Patriots aren't in in a while? No, that's, I mean, it is what it is. Everyone will be talking about the Andy Reed losing the Patriots and. Yeah, that's true. You do get a little bit of runoff by having both coaches have their biggest loss be against the Patriots. You're going to have Richard Sherman, the picture of him staring out onto the field after Russell Wilson through that INT. Richard Sherman bet on himself stories. Yeah. Oh, Richard Sherman is going up against a quarterback. No, I was going to try to work in a Russell Wilson angle, but that's not working out. The other thing

with the Patrick Mahomes and the like, this will be the first of many is that you'll get that and then you'll get people immediately saying, well, they said that about Aaron Rodgers and Mike McCarthy and they never got back. True, good point. That's okay. Richard Sherman teaming up with Jimmy Garoppolo who beat him in a Super Bowl. There it is. Yeah, I like that. There's some good story lines. It's going to be a great week. I'm excited to watch all the people slip up on Greg Kittle. Yeah, Greg Kittle, Greg Kittle, Greg Kittle, Greg Kittle. It's happened a couple of times now. Antonio Brown's going to work his way in there somehow. Oh man. No, he's going to be. Oh yeah. He got arrested today. Yeah. Okay, so. Or he's about to get arrested as we speak. Sure. Yeah,

you can say that at any point. I'd be like, yep. He's currently. Hey, did you hear about Antonio Brown? He's about to be arrested on Instagram Live. Yep. Makes sense. Makes perfect sense. The Greg Kittle thing, though, we are killing that. Like it is slowly seeping into the world. I saw Mike Golik senior. Mike Golik. Big Mike said it this morning. Like editors. There's, and it's one of those things that I've actually started to question myself sometimes when I say his name. I'm like, is it? Oh yeah, it is. If Joe Buck, do you think we can get Joe Buck to say it? Yes, we're going to, we're going to basically just do the meow game with Joe Buck. We'll have him on this week and we'll just say Greg Kittle so many times that he doesn't know

up from down. All right, before we get to our hot seat, cool throne, barcelgold.com slash PMT, barcelgold.com slash PMT. We're also brought to you by our friends at Hawthorne. Go check them out right now. Listen, guys, smelling good is important. Hawthorne smells really good. You can get cologne. You can get body wash. You can get shampoo. You can get it all. We actually just got it. We got a boxes. Did you see the boxes we got? I did. They are smell so, so good. I wore cologne yesterday. You did? Yeah. People were like, yo, PFT, you smell good. Right. So here's the best part about it. You can take a quiz and some of the questions that will help you make your customized scent. So now you have a scent that is just yours. No one

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Use promo code take to get 10% off your purchase. Hawthorne.co. H-A-W-T-H-O-R-N-E.co. Use promo code take. You get 10% off your purchase. You're going to smell great. Everyone's going to smell great. Hank, hot seat, cool throne. My hot seat is UNC basketball. Oh boy, they stink. Things are real bad in Chapel Hill. They're dead last in the ACC. That's behind Wake Forest and everyone. Has Coach K ever been last? Dead last now. You know what? Definitely not. Good thing that's because Roy Williams doesn't cheat and so he's being surpassed right now with everybody that plays fast and loose with the rules. Roy Williams is, it's so bad. It's gone so bad that Roy Williams thinks he might die before they ever get good again.

Like he had a quote where he said, everyone says well you got help coming and he said that I hope I'm going to live long enough to get there. Wow. Wow. Tough times in Chapel Hill. Real tough times in Chapel Hill. Coach K just keeps chugging along. He wouldn't give up on a season like that. No, he would not. Numbers never lie. That'd be great if Roy Williams faked his own death. That would be fantastic and then came back to life as soon as they started getting good again. Yeah. Also, I don't think you can be accused of like an NCAA infraction if you're dead. That's true. Like he could pay people. I was like the Aaron Hernandez thing. Trust me. Yeah. It's what's that called? Non-arbitration abatement. It's abatement

if you get accused. But I bet you that the NCAA has like death goons that go after you even after you're dead. Yeah. They definitely. They just, yeah, they remove all sorts of banners and they take the rings that you take with you in the casket away. Great hot seat, Hank. Thank you. Yeah. The cool throne is getting the gat. Getting the gat is, this could be hot in the streets, but it's the new hot in the streets dance. LSU's football team has kind of, you know, made it famous, but they were the ones that were doing it that they had that video in the White House with the random like, I don't know if she was on the team. What are you gonna say? What are you gonna say? I don't know. Just random lady. It was either random White House assistant aid or

football team aid. Random White House lady. Hot lady. She was. Yeah, she was a smoke, but it was like it was. She was what? She was a smoke. Aaron Ravel said that helps the program. She looked polite. So that video went viral and it's just like now all the teams are doing it. It's the new dance. Get used to it. You'll be seeing it probably until like summer 2020. What does it mean when they go get the gat and then they put their fingers out like that? What does this mean? Gun. I think it means like get the gun. Okay. And then get ready to shoot it. I'm gonna shoot it. You first you get the gat, then you get the gat. I got it. That's all it is right there. Then you get the money. Then you get the power. Yeah. Then you get the sat because you're tired

from getting the gat. Then you sit down and just hang out. Yeah. Exactly. That's right. So get in the gat for the throne. All right. Okay. Good hot seat. Cool throne, Hank. Chris. That was a great hot seat. Good cool throne. No, both were great. Then why'd you say good? Because the second one was good. So yeah. Right. All right. Great. Good. Okay. My hot seat is iguanas. Oh, iguanas on the hot seat big time because it's going to dip below 40 degrees. That's a different one. Those were iguanas. Yeah, those were iguanas so too. I don't think the iguanas said was up, did they? It was up iguana? I think so. Those were just dudes, I thought. Oh, they were dudes. Yeah, I thought they were bros. I thought they combined them at the end. You're forgetting which

tagline goes along with which. No, but then they combined them all at the end. I know that there are a lot of animals that drink beer in these commercials. Okay, so iguanas. So the iguanas are falling out of trees in Miami now because it's so cold. So once temperature drops below 40 degrees, iguanas, since they're warm-blooded, they just stop being able to move so they get paralyzed and then just pass out and fall. Wait, it's going to be cold there? Right now it is. Tonight it is. So if you're walking under a tree in Miami, I love that second-wear sweatshirt, bring your umbrella because an iguana might fall on your head. Yeah, the iguanas did some was up. That's what's up. They basically combined them all because they're like, this is all

working really well. Yeah, so iguanas, there was a while, there was like a 10-year period where Budweiser could do no wrong with any of their ads, no matter how bad they were. It's like, that's a cool ad for Bud. They used to have a pit bull that just got fucked up all the time. Yeah, it was great. My other hot seat is Chad Johnson because he didn't show up for his XFL trial unlike me. He had it booked for Monday. No showed because he knew that there was a superior alpha that had already gone down there and kicked the shit out of balls. So he's a coward. He's a coward is what he is. So Tronte Cinco over Ocho Cinco. That's Mr. 35 to you, Chad. And then my cool throne is sex because Tim Tebow had sex. Finally, our long national nightmare is over. Tim Tebow got

married, put his penis inside of his wife, and then they had sex until he orgasmed. That sounds like a lot. Do you think that you are better? You might not have even made it inside before that happened. That's true. I was going around telling people, I think I'm better at sex than Tim Tebow until he has sex the second time. Yeah, he probably is better the first time than me, like right now. It'd be great if he was just like a starfish and he was just bad at it. That's the one thing that Tim Tebow is bad at. No, he's not good at baseball. Yeah, it's true. He can't hit a fucking fastball. He's not, yeah. He's getting moved up to triple. He's better than Jordan. No, he's not. Better than Jordan at baseball. Yeah, he's not. The stats will bear me out. No.

Nobody, I mean, Jordan did it in the middle of his career. Tebow's already, Tebow's tried to start his own extra career. Jordan got suspended and had to go play it against his will. Tebow is his love. Ever since I heard that Sean Payton won Tebow to be Taysom Hill and he turned it down, I've changed my view of him. That is a big time. That's true. So we know that he could not have fell and be playing as Taysom Hill. So I am better at sex than Tim Tebow because he won't switch positions. It is crazy that he just wouldn't do anything but be a quarterback. Like, dude, you stink at being a quarterback. But you could be a quarterback slash athletic. He should have been a fucking tight end. He would have been a beast. What a shame. What a shame.

Well, now he's having sex. Yeah. So he's just like us. He's confirmed not a virgin anymore. All right. My hot seat is Andy Reid's diet. So Andy Reid was going on a diet and then like within 30 minutes said that his celebration was going to get a big cheeseburger on Sunday night. So that diet don't last. That's just dinner. Yeah. But that diet didn't last. So I'm happy that it didn't last. Are you expecting out of all the choices he could make in the Kansas City Stadium and Arrowhead Stadium concourse, a cheeseburger is pretty good. Yeah, it's true. But it's just funny that a chili milkshake. He literally gave one interviewers like I'm going to go on a diet and then someone was like, what do you have to do after this?

He's like cheeseburger. Well, maybe it's been no fries spin zone. That's Keto if you eat the bun. No fries. He didn't say he didn't say I just ate a cheeseburger with a bun. Yeah. Yeah. No, you're right. He didn't say cheeseburger and fries cheeseburger with a bun. He just said cheeseburger. Carb free Andy. Yeah, absolutely. He's I can. Could you imagine the visual of Andy Reid taking like the bun and throwing it out on a cheeseburger? No, I can't. The only way I can picture that is if it's whole wheat. Oh man, or sesame. Even sesame like picks every sesame off. Was this a vegetable or tiny little bit? 100 vegetables on my bun? My other hot seat is books. Did you see the guy who rips his books in half? That was the dumbest

thing ever. We're like strong dude. No, this guy was like, Hey, does anyone else do this? But I ripped my books in half to the along the seam so that they're easier to transport. So he reads half. And then when he's done with the first half, he takes the second half and reads that he takes both halves with him at the same time. No, no, he leaves one half at home. What if you get halfway done? I would imagine. I thought he brought both. I thought it was like a pound of iron or a pound of feather situation. I mean, there's only one specific point in time where you'd need both, right? I guess. Like if you can time it out. Yeah, but you'd time that out. Like I'm getting like switching reels on a film director. Right. Right. Yeah, that's too much. Because for me,

if you give me any bit of daylight to stop reading, I'm not going to pick up. No, it was a hilarious visual. I think it did fall under the category of one of those fake viral things where someone's like anyone else put mayonnaise on their, on their, I don't know, fill me in here, toilet water. Anyone else wipe with mayonnaise as a lubricant. Yeah. Anyone like to leave a thin layer of mayo out in the sun till it dries. Yeah, right. And use it to wipe your dairy air. Right. And that goes viral. So there was a part of that, but he also was kind of a weirdo. So maybe it was real, but it was a very funny thing. He just had all his books ripped in half. Just tearing the shit out of books. Yeah. Although that is pretty badass. If you're walking around

with books that are torn up and you're carrying them in your hands, that does look cool. Also, it looks like you hate books. This thing called the Kindle. I don't know if you've heard of it. It has every book ever. It just looks like you're frustrated trying to read. All right. My cool throne is the NFL draft because it's cool again. It has, is this real? Yeah. 100% real. I think so. The NFL draft is going to have a stage in the Bellagio pool and players are going to be transported in a boat, which they should have to row break. That would be great. Odell Beckham has just re-interred the NFL draft. I mean, well, there should definitely be props on which players going in the water. Yeah. Yeah. This is Fred Smoot walked so the NFL could run. That's right. A little love boat

action going on. You should be able to get your rocks off on that boat. Yes. Absolutely. Let's see. Who are going to be the top like 10 picks? Who's most likely to fall? Joe Burrow. Jordan Love has just that great balance. Did you see those hands? That's pretty good. 10, 5, 8. Yeah. Those are huge monster hands. He's going up the draft board. That's pretty sweet though. Getting a boat ride up to visit Goodell. Yeah. I hope somebody pushes Goodell into the water. Just dunks him, gives him a swirly in the Bellagio. Like, yeah, you could, I saw Hank's o-face. So this is what I'm worried about. We are on the cusp of what could be a national nightmare here with this NFL draft because in the past, we've had Chicago, we've had Philly, we've had New York, we've had

Dallas. Every single one of these cities has gone out of their way to boo Roger Goodell. We might not get a good boo in Vegas. I don't think the people in Vegas should boo Roger Goodell. One, because he just gave them an NFL team. Two, because you're too fucked up. You're too happy in Vegas to want to boo anything. Counterpoint PFT. You're just booing numbers that pop up next roulette wheel. Last weekend, there was an event in Vegas. Who received the biggest pop in the crowd? Tom Brady. What does that tell you? He's going to be the Raiders quarterback. No. Oh. They're going to boo Roger Goodell. Oh, got it. Okay. What about the Raiders quarterback? A plus B equals C. Derek Carr. David Gruden. I hope Mark Davis smells out. Mark Davis should come up.

Mark Davis should be driving the boat. Yeah, because it would definitely crash. They should give him a duck boat, which is like a conversion van that he drives into the water that's been retrofitted with a motor. You guys won against me though when I said this though. If Brady, like I wouldn't even be mad if you went to the Raiders. And if you went to the Raiders, like everyone would be rooting for the Vegas Raiders. You would not be mad. And Tom Brady, if Tom Brady can do whatever he wants. If Tom Brady is like, I thought about it, I made my decision and what I wanted to do was be able to go to Vegas. You can't, I would never be like Tom, what the fuck, fuck you. Whatever Tom Brady wants to do, he can do. And if you just decide to go

to the Raiders, which would be shocking, that team would be electric. I would agree it would be very well liked. Absolutely. You know what they need to do? They need to have Mark Davis as like one of those gondola guys in Italy. Yes. That's in charge of paddling of a super long with the striped shirt, the striped shirt. He's been tight smoking a cigarette. He's got a bottle of wine and he just takes you by gondola up to Roger. Need it. Need it. Need Mark Davis somehow involved. All right, let's get to our interview with Vaughn Miller. Before we do that, are you wearing your me on these? I'm wearing them right now. I'm wearing my me on the world. Yes, let me see. We're all wearing our me on these because roses are red, violets are blue. Your butt is cute.

Rhyming is dumb. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone. Were you saying that my butt's cute? No, that's a, well, yeah, actually sure. To show how much they love you, me on these has not one, but three Valentine's Day prints this year. This is the perfect opportunity to show that special someone you're ready to take it to the next level with matching pairs. That actually is that's, that is the next level. So match me. So I know it's real is a motto this year. If you're matching your BFF or even your dog, it still counts. Also someone told us that me on these has new lounge wear rumor has it that it's lounge where you can wear out and about. Keep your eyes peeled for some cozy new additions. Me on these has a great offer for listeners for any first time purchase. You

get 15% off and free shipping. There's a no brainer, especially because we have 100% satisfaction guarantee. Listen, me on these has probably been our longest sponsor and we all wear them every single day. Like that is a guarantee. Personal guarantee at my entire closet is me on these. You need to get them. They're the best underwear. So get 15% off your first pair free shipping and 100% satisfaction guarantee. Go to me on these.com slash take. That's me on these.com slash take me on these.com slash take. Okay, here he is. Vaughn Miller. Do you want a plan chapter? You started your offseason program? No, I ain't started it yet. You probably don't even lift

anymore. Are we good to go? All right. Well, this is Vaughn Miller. He hasn't started his offseason program. We've been running in hot. What's up with that? I actually have started my offseason program, but I haven't got into the weight room yet. Oh, it's a mental thing first. It's like we like I like in San Francisco, we do like we do like stairs and we do like stairs and like weight ball training and like push ups and like pull ups. I haven't got I haven't really got on the weights yet though. I like that. That's like my offseason training before I get in the weight room is just putting on gym clothes and like sitting in my car outside the gym and then going home. That's the mind right now a month and then you go in the gym. It's like a three step process.

It's like what Big Cat described getting mentally prepared to be in a gym, seeing yourself in gym clothes first. The second step, take a bunch of pre-workout, go to the gym and then just sit on the toilet for an hour. Let your body acclimate to all the caffeine and stuff. That's basically it, but I got the Pro Bowl and the Super Bowl that kind of like interrupts it. So I don't really go like too hard before then because I'm gonna have to take time off to go to the Pro Bowl or the Super Bowl. Then after that, I take another week off and then I get back in. Are you gonna go all out in the Pro Bowl this year? Yeah, I always do. I mean everybody else is just chilling. I mean it's an easy MVP if I go hard. It's probably a check too, right? Because MVP gets like a car

or something? It's a car and stuff. I got a car already because I went hard. Did anybody say anything to you when you were going hard on the Pro Bowl? They're like, hey, I got a little bit and I had to apologize to a couple of guys, but I already told them before like when I play, I don't know anything else. I would love to like go out here and half-ass it with you, but I tell the guys beforehand, and this is like my this is like my sixth Pro Bowl. So this is like my eighth Pro Bowl. So everybody already knows. You forget how many Pro Bows, sixth, whatever. I just got on the phone with Courtney and suddenly he got, he's going to the Pro Bowl. They just announced them today or yesterday. They just announced him yesterday and he asked me what was his advice. I

said, hey, just chill out a week and then when the game comes, go hard. Go hard. Go hard. I feel like that's a valid point though because if you don't play hard, aren't you more likely to get injured? Uh, no, not in this game because they kind of, they blow the whistle kind of quick. You know, you got to think about it. You got a lot of stars out there. You don't really, really want to see anybody get hurt. Right. But, um, yeah, like sometimes in a real game, if you, if you like half-ass it out there, like you got a higher chance to get hurt, but with, um, the Pro Bowl, everybody's half-assing it. So it'd be good. Yeah. All right. So we have on Miller. He is an eight time Pro Bowl or future Hall of Famer, uh, Super Bowl MVP. You know his, he's

been on three times. He's here with myglockoma.com. Go check it out. We're getting some glaucoma awareness going on so that people can know more about glaucoma. How many people have glaucoma? 70 million people worldwide. And of those 70 million people, 27% of those people go blind and one eye within a 10 year span. Can we get myglockoma.com to maybe put a link to the podcast on their site. So 70 million people go and then also subscribe. Maybe a little collab. I mean, we gotta, my back, we scratch yours. We gotta, we gotta talk to them. But glaucoma, glaucoma is, is a real, real like a crazy serious disease. It makes doing like, like everyday stuff, everyday lifestyle stuff like cooking or driving like really, really tough.

And is it treatable? It is, it is, it is treatable. It is treatable. But like I said before, 27% of these people are going to go blind and one eye or another. It's, it's real serious. All right. So go to myglockoma.com right now. Learn more about it. Okay. So Vaughn, you've been on the show many times. I actually was going back in and doing some research on what we talked about the last few times. I want to tell you, I want to read a quote for you. Maybe it's not a direct quote, but something you said March, 2018. You said, Mitch Travis, he's going to be great. Do you still think that? Yeah. Okay. Great. Great. I mean, he had good spurts. All right. Yes. There we go. Big spurts. I mean,

I like, I don't, I don't think, I don't even think he would tell you that he's a finished product yet. Yup. But he has a lot of potential and football young and he's done a lot of great stuff for the Chicago Bears. So he's just got to keep going. I like your attitude. So you also know, I know quarterbacks. You have a young quarterback. So let's talk about true. I know quarterbacks and like, I can see them. Like I sack them and I can see them. And I know like the good ones from the bad ones. Mitch is definitely not bad, but our guy, we got a rock star. Rock star. We got a rock star, like owning up to football. Joe Flacco, you're talking about. It's his birthday today. Would you like to say, Joe Flacco?

You should FaceTime him, right? Yeah. Happy birthday, Joe. Yeah. Happy birthday, big dog. But Drew Lock. We're actually, we were early adopters of Drew Lock. We just thought he had, he had Moxie right off the get go. When you, you know what it was, when you said he throws a hell of an incomplete pass after like one practice, I was like, okay, that's how you know. If somebody looks good throwing incompletions, he like, he like scrambled out and like ran around, shit one dude went to the salon and he threw it and the receiver just barely missed. And I was like, bro, that's, it looked good. I was like, bro, that's crazy. That's how I got it. Sometimes it's better to throw a good looking incompletion than a bad looking completion.

Yeah. 100%. Yeah. Maybe not for like moving the football. Not in a game, but in practice. If you throw like a duck and it's an completion, it's like, okay, it's just, it's a matter of time. How many times can you do that? Somebody picked it off. If you throw like a really nice pass, it's incomplete. Like, okay, this guy got something. He just missed. Okay. So he's a rock star. So you guys are set there. When did you first know that he was going to be good? Man, to be honest, like, to be honest, like when, when he came and I saw him like throw the ball and just, I saw his, I saw his demeanor with the other rookies because when rookies come in, they don't really kick it with like the vets off top. They got like, they own like a little

colt that they kick it with and they like tell jokes and they're like, they're all like together by themselves and stuff. And I like watched them and like, he was like the leader of the rookies and like off top from day one and, um, everybody just kind of gravitated towards them. And I saw him in practice. You know, people, people might not see me, but I see everybody on the football team. And like, I just, I just saw him and I just knew it off top. Like he was good in the locker room. Everybody loved him. And that's the number one sign off top. You got to, you got to be likable. You got to be likable. And he was definitely likable. He was talented. And when we got him on scout team, he was going crazy out there and like, yeah, just to go. That and being being able to

sing along to young, was it young GZ on the sidelines? But he was doing that before. Like he got to the Broncos. It was just that day made it like really, really big. That and being tall too. John Elway, what likes him real tall? He's not, he's not that tall. Yeah. No, he's not tall. Six, six, one. Yeah, he probably likes 61. Yeah, John Elway is going to give him that shit. I'm 63. Okay. So John Elway, does he walk by and he's like, good job, Vaughn. You're 63. He likes that. No, I mean, I give your eyes like, okay, but I tell you, as I, as, as, as my career has progressed and the more time I spend with the Denver Broncos, like John is like super cool. Like he has, he's super cool. He knows the players. Like if you talk to him, he's going to talk back to you.

At first, you know, you're like a young player and you're like, I don't want to, it's John Elway, the legend hall of fame. Like I want to stay out his way. I hope you don't see me. And then like over time, it's like, bro, like he, he, he's human, just like everybody else. Yeah. He see it like how we see it. He's super cool. And you guys had a good end of the season. You kind of turned it around at the end of the season, which I mean, does that, you've been in a lot of teams now. Do you, does it carry over from year to year? Like, are you going to go into OTAs being like, Hey, we had something cooking at the end of the season? Nothing, nothing carries over except experience. Right. And we definitely had a lot of experience.

We definitely had our battles with adversity. And I feel like that adversity is really built character on our team. We got a lot of young guys and there's no way that we know how to do it right unless we went through what we went through. Right. I feel like next year, everybody has, everybody has confidence. Everybody excited. Everybody's excited. Everybody knows what we can do when we're on. And we got a great offensive line. Garrett Bowes played out of his mind towards the end of the end of the season. We have Joanne James back. We have Bradley Chubback. Phillip Lindsey is coming back. No offense. It was just, it was just crazy like all year. He was just like crazy and spurting. And he's going to be year two next year.

And we got Cortland Sudden, of course. And on defense, you know, we got Kareem Jackson. Hopefully we can get Chris back. Justin Simmons. Then the draft is coming up. And, you know, we're going to get all type of, we're going to get all type of dogs and we'll be ready to go. Yeah. Stay inside your division. You've had a rivalry for a few years now with Phillip Rivers. You've been getting after him a lot. Are you going to miss it at all if he's not in the division? Yeah, I'm going to miss it. He's a, he's a, he's a Hall of Fame quarterback in my eyes. He's a great quarterback and not just, it'd just be weird to look at the San Diego Chargers or the LA Chargers without Phillip Rivers. Right. He's just, he's just so intertwined

with the, with the franchise and organization. So that clip went viral of him talking some trash with the jet in the Jaguars game. Has he ever talked trash to you? Has he ever said anything to you? No, but like, yeah, I guess he has. Yeah, I guess he has. It was one game. And I kind of like yanked him up like, Hey, you know, but, um, what did he say? Cause he doesn't swear. No, that's probably more annoying. I forgot what it was. He was just like, uh, he hit me late because I kind of, I really, I'd like to be honest, like I hit him late. Yeah. But the ref didn't call it. He was like in the ref face at first and then the ref didn't listen. He was like directed towards me and it was just like a rage splurge, splurge things. Like my coach told me

like my fresh, like my Ricky season and he was like, you would never get ejected if you just grabbed a guy and I'm just like, I just grabbed him. Right. That's all it was. Mother freak. God dang it. What you doing? What you doing, Vaughn? You son of a gun? Uh, how are your chickens doing? They're doing pretty good. Oh, I know that. Greener, greener pastor's chicken. You guys to check it out. We got a humanely raised product. We got organic product, pastor raised, non GMO, you know, and in today's, uh, in today's world, everybody wants to know where their food is coming from. And yeah, at greener pastors, we got you covered when, uh, when Marshawn said, take care of your chickens where you like, yep. Right. Like,

like I knew instantly, I was like, I got to make a meme to this. Yeah. Like right when he said it, I got to make a meme to this. Did you make a meme? Yeah, I made a meme. Take care of your mentals and your chickens. They did pretty good too. He's right. I'll be the judge of that. Let me look at your Twitter. Yeah, it's on my Instagram. Instagram. Did you, uh, do you do your own photo shops? Oh, no, I got a group. I got my, I got my, I got right here. Okay. Got, oh, here it is. Marshawn Lynch. Y'all take care of them chickens. Vaughn Miller. And there you are in the back of a pickup truck with a chicken. That's a pretty good meme. Pretty good. Pretty well. Yeah. That's a pretty good meme. They told me that it was people like people on my social media team,

they was telling me not to post it. I was like, no, this is going to go crazy. And I, and I posted it and it went crazy. So I got the, I got the vote on that one. Yes. Absolutely. Um, do you, when, when Vic Fangio has a, uh, kiddie stone passes, it goes to the hospital, then coaches at night, does that pump up the team? I'd never even realized it. Really? Like he's, he's such a writer. He's like such a writer. He didn't show any facial emotion. Like he didn't say anything to the team. Like he was just so gangster about it and like coached and then went to, and just, he was just there like nothing happened. Like, Jesus, soldier. Did he eventually pass that thing? Yeah. I think he did. Yeah. I think he did.

I know that it was, uh, it was night before the Hall of Fame game, right? And so he just coached that entire game, just dealing with the pain. Just think about it. Walking, you know, head coaches don't sit down for three and a half hours. Right. So he just like so stoic and gangster just walking around and he had a kidney stone. Do you like playing for a guy like Vic who's, you know, old school defense, passing kidney stones, that kind of shit? Yeah. I love, I love coach Fangio. I really, I like the way that we've modded our coaching staff. We picked up at Schumer. We got, uh, Mike Munchack. We really got three head coaches on the roster and elect and we got John Elway leading the ship. So I'm pretty excited where we're going with our organization.

Yeah. Uh, we were at the national championship game on Monday night. Odell Beckham got in the news. Uh, he was handing out cash there. If Texas A&M ever wins national championship, you're going to be in the locker room, hand out some cash. I personally even favor of it. I mean, yeah, I probably would. I probably just look out for the cameras. I just don't do it on camera. I had the same question. It was, but it was phrased differently. It was how much cash have you given out to the good players on Texas A&M? I haven't given out any money. You know, you sure? We're trying to get another headline. We're trying to get that headline bump again. I mean, like, but it was fake money. It was fake money. No, no, it was fake money. It was fake

money. Joe Burrow on and we, and he said it was real. He said it was real. Yeah. So we fucked that up. Yeah, it was, it was our fault. So that's really actually the only lesson is that if you give away money, just make sure we don't do an interview with anyone on Texas A&M the day after and you'll be fine. I mean, I mean, but we don't know if it was real money or fake money. That's true. And then, like, knowing, like, knowing, like, oh, dude, like, personally, like, he probably, it's probably just like a stunt. Like, he knew the camera was right there. Yes. He's very, very observant. He, like, he probably, he probably did that on purpose, like, gave him the fake money to, like, make everybody go crazy. Agreed. Agreed. It was all

fake. That's the party line that we're sticking to, by the way. It's all fake. It's all fake. Don't worry about it. Move along. I actually think it's horseshit if the NCAA actually investigates it. This should be a great example of one scandal. They should choose to overlook. Just close your eyes to it. I mean, it was only probably at max 700 fake dollars. Yeah. I heard it was 300 fake dollars. Give him 300 fake dollars back. He also is wearing, I see everyone wearing these man purses now. Is that like the new, can I, you think I could rock one? It's a fanny pack around your, this is a saddlebag. Oh, saddlebag. So it's like a gun hoster type. So it's way more manly. Yeah, no, I, but Odell had that. He had the fanny pack around the shoulder. He had the green one,

right? Yeah. Yeah. Odell's swag daddy. This one is like, I'm from Texas. I want, I want one of those. It looks like I got a pistol in there, but I really don't. It's the second time you've seen much firearm. Are you, are you carrying a firearm? No. It's New York. It's New York. I had a gun here for three years. I got these guns. Oh, there you go. Damn. Flexed on us. We haven't been working out, so that wasn't even a flex. I mean, yeah, not really, not real weight room working out yet. Right. But if you wanted to right now, you could bench a shit load. I'm not really a big bencher though. Why does everyone say that? I didn't know what athlete benches anymore. You guys are all betas. I don't know what it is. I just, whenever like, I get under the weight, like,

especially when people are like, watch me and they're like, bro, like, I thought he lifted more than that. But then we get on the football field, like it's totally different. It's all about bend. It's not about, would you say your country's strong? I would, I would say I'm country strong. I would think like, in the moment, like, I can pull it out. I can like, put it out there. But I just feel like in the weight room is just so much going on loud music, pre-workout, guys yelling. Like, I just really can't get into it, I guess. Yeah. Do you like going to practice and having like a loud speaker system set up and practicing to? I do, but with Coach Fangio, we don't have any of that. Right.

It's quiet practice the whole time. We play music like when we stretch and stuff at the beginning, but when practice starts, there's no music. Have you been watching the playoffs? You watch football when you're not playing it? I watch the playoff football. Okay. You watch playoff football. Derek Henry, do you think that you could be Derek Henry if you just, you know, things have gotten a little different? Cause you guys are actually kind of the same size. You both run a four, four, four, five, 40 and you're both beasts. You just play on the other side of the ball. Maybe you should be a running back. I don't want to take anything away from what Derek Henry has done and make it seem like it's easy to do because what he's doing is really

special. So I wouldn't say like, I could be Derek Henry like that. That would be crazy. But I feel like I would be the Vaughn Miller of running backs if I was a running back because I always thought like in my heart, like I'll play running back or like quarterback. Well, it's, it's funny because we were having the discussion like a month ago how at some point, some coach wanted Derek Henry to switch positions and he just did it. Like you probably had a spot where it's like, Hey, I'm going to be a linebacker, but you guys kind of are the same size, speed, strength, all that. You just, you're a linebacker and he's a running back. That's great. And running backs do really well, like rushing a passer. Did you see last year in

the pro ball like Zeke and Alvin Kamar? Like those guys went crazy like rushing a passer. So I could see Derek Henry really being successful rushing a passer. So maybe you need to become, maybe you need to get a couple play packages in their view on the goal line. I don't know, right? I should, I should come over Sunday. Really, we should wait till the Titans win the Super Bowl and then I'm going, yeah, I'm going to see like, we can do the same thing. Would the same size? We got to say you actually, and also you have, you have zero carries on your, on those knees. So you're fresh. I'm ready to go. Ready to go. You change your Twitter bio. So it says linebacker slash RB. And then next contract comes up. They have to pay you like

a running back. So you get that money, double dip on that. And then here's how you make the transition. You say, coach, let me get some, let me get some reps in a fullback, right? You ease your way in there. They let you play fullback. And then one time they give you the ball on a fullback dive, you get your one opportunity. And then you break that off for 15 yards, 20 yards or more, then they're going to give you the ball more often. You know, I've had this pitch for about since we won the Super Bowl. And I got, and I got like a new contract. Like I went in and I was like, a, like, I should be playing offense in the goal line package. I shouldn't be like, if you put me in there and they automatically don't think I'm getting the ball, then you just scheme up the

play to go the opposite way. And it'd be crazy. And like my, the office, the coordinator, Tommy kind of like looked at me and thought about it. And he was just like, no, why? It's crazy. They shoot me down really quick. They don't even listen to my argument. It's crazy. Like if you went through the roster, I'm sure there's many times in your career where you are the best, all around athlete on the roster. Why wouldn't you want you on the field more? I'm with these guys. I'm with these guys on the field. Like I practice with these guys. I practice with Alexander Johnson. And I practice with, uh, with Todd Davis. And I just don't feel like they can cover me. Like they can cover other tight ends, but I just don't feel like they could, they don't feel like they could

cover me. Todd, I said it. AJ, I said it. I just don't feel like, I just don't feel like they can cover me. So, and those guys are really good linebackers. So I know if they put me in the package, I would kill other teams. Right. The bad linebackers you'd eat alive. I would kill them. Vaughn Miller to be running back next year. Make that headline. Well, Vaughn Miller wants some offensive plays. We can get that for you. I could play tight end too. Like now how much of your contract will we get if you do that? Um, I mean, I'm sure we can set up like something in the future. Like who's got to be like, I score a certain amount of touchdowns and like, and then on the back end of it, like, then I could come back to the Barstool guy. Okay. How about this? How about this? As your agent,

I'm going to give you permission to negotiate your own contract. Yeah. Like Richard Sherman did, based on incentives, but then I get 10% of all those incentives because I'm your agent. I told you to do that. You lost me on that. I'm going to make it very simple for you. Here it is. Ready? If you score a touchdown on offense, it's got to be more than one. No, no, just every single touchdown you score, you give each of us $1,000. I like it. Done. Now we have something to root for. It's the four of us. So it's $4,000. So what do I get if I score a touchdown? Are you going to get a good friendship is like, give, receive, like I'm giving you a $1,000. We talk about it on this show. We're like Vaughn and everyone's rooting for it now because like

all of our listeners, everyone who follows us will be like, give Vaughn the ball. Give Vaughn the ball because they know that we can get money. And so now we'll get you the ball. And I'll send you a t-shirt. Yeah, I can like tag the clip and like put it on like your Instagram. You'll get cloud. We'll send you a shirt with a picture of you scoring the touchdown. I feel like, you know, $1,000 for like marketing. Yes, you're now getting the buzz. Oh, that was so I should have done more. Fuck. I meant $5,000. I was just looking for something to say deal because I feel like five five would have been a little much. I mean, you know, we already signed the deal now. Yeah, we did. We did. Everyone saw it. Handshake deal legal tender legal. If you score a touchdown

office, now we got to figure out a way to get into the offensive coordinator's head. Who's your offense coordinator? Pat Shermer. Oh, yeah. Pat Shermer. Yeah. Pat Shermer. How do we get into it? I've been very nice about the things I've said about Pat Shermer. We all have. I love Pat Shermer. And John Elway. I love when he punts. Pat's tough. Yeah, no. John Elway too would be good. All right. So we got to figure out someone. How do we get into John Elway's head? Just reminding that Vaughn's tall. Yeah. Yes. Vaughn is tall. We're going to start a publicity campaign reminding John Elway that you're- Everything that Vaughn is taller than. I really don't think like, I really don't think

like any of that stuff would bother like John. He's just like so like, he's just like gangster and like holla famous. Yes. He walks around and got an aura to him. Yeah. He's special. I don't really think like, you know, any of that stuff would really bother. Do you still talk to Peyton at all? Yeah, I talk to Peyton. I talk to Peyton probably like, so like every four months whenever I see him. All right. So we need to get you with Peyton and Peyton practicing some handoffs with you. A little viral video. That's what I'm saying. I like it. And then everyone says, oh man, Vaughn's looking explosive. I should get that started like getting to do like a whole Instagram like Instagram. What is that? Instagram TV like video making like seven or eight minutes.

Yes. Vaughn training to be a running back. Give Vaughn the ball. Hashtag. Hashtag. Give Vaughn the ball so we can get catch. Because you know Peyton, he doesn't have any social media. So whenever they see him on Instagram or Twitter, like those polls, those polls go crazy. Hashtag. Give Vaughn the ball. I like it. Oh man. Do I got to pay you off for that too? No, no, no. That's our investment deal. Yeah. Look, you get our brains here for this. Do you want to pay us for it? No, no. I was just wondering. I was just going back over the contract and I was just trying to see if that was in there. Yeah, no. How much cash you got in there? I got about 100 bucks. And a firearm. That's a lie. That was such a lie. No, for real. I got 100 bucks. That was such a lie.

I don't know. That was such a lie. Except the quarterback. Except the quarterback. His merc. I got his man purse. 130 dollars. So you lied. I was a little bit under. I was a little bit under. All right, Vaughn. I think that was all my questions and now we're going to get paid. Yeah, we're good. They should also be able to draft you in fancy football next year too. I know, right? Since you've stayed your intention of carrying the ball. I actually had like their own like a little alternate or something like. Yeah. Well, wait, I have one last question. Seeky question. Promo code take. Put it in. You get $10 off. What's the new fashion trend that's coming up? Because I feel like you're always ahead of the curve. I notice you

stop. The glasses are a little bit smaller now. Not the clear ones. You're always kind of ahead of it where you got the next fashion. So what should we be looking for? Cargo pants? Honestly, you know, I appreciate all that stuff. Like about fashion and me being fashionable and stuff. But I really just buy what I like in cargo pants. I'm going to try to bring back. I do have a car. I feel like you have more cargo pants. Oh, yeah. You got to get a Baltimore for that. Yeah. That's big, big Baltimore Raven's flock. I noticed that your hatless now is hatless a thing. No, I just was, you know, going on the media stuff right here. And you know, I usually wear have been traveling around was in San Francisco and then I went to

New York and I'm going to Orlando next week and then Miami after that. So just carrying around like big hats is like a hassle. You're invited to our Super Bowl party. I appreciate it. Where's that? I don't know where it's at, but can I DJ? You could get behind the booth. Yeah, let me do like 30 minutes, 20 minutes. Let me open up. Yeah, why not? Fuck it. Yeah, it'd be crazy. I mean, like Vom Miller Super Bowl. Sure. MVP, former Super Bowl MVP at the Barstool. You're going to want to be there. We have Ruffin Rowdy. So we have the fights. We have a boxing match, like 13 of those. And then it's a party. Yeah. So it's great. Yeah. So you're DJ. I'm serious though. Yeah. No, no, I'm serious too. Like I

will be our answer. Make sure you get in Brock Beach behind the booth for at least 15 minutes. That's perfect. I got a 15 minutes set. Easy to go. Done. Done. And you're going to be an offensive player next year. I like it. This has been a very productive interview. I feel like we got a lot of things done. We should do more often. Yeah, we're just scheming and planning and doing all this stuff. We should get a live chicken in here. Could you help us with that? I mean, in New York, I'm not sure like where live chickens would be. But if we was in Miami, do chickens eat mice? Who wins a fight? A New York rat or a chicken? It depends. It's just one on one. Wow, we have a lot of rats here. Yeah, there might be. Yeah, there might be. So in an

office environment, it's like half a dozen rats. I'd say the rats. All right. So it might not be the best environment for chicken. We don't know if it's a rat though. It could be a mouse. I feel like a chicken beats a mouse, but a rat beats a chicken. Yeah, if it's a mouse, like especially a New York rat, it's over. What about a cat that we will have our cats and chickens? Can they be friends? I don't think cats are friends with anybody. Yeah, that's true. They go crazy on everybody. The devil. Yeah. All right. So we need to find like a bouncer for the chicken to save him against the rats. No, Fox would eat the. But the chicken would run away from the fox. What about a snake? Would a snake eat a chicken?

Yes, a snake would eat a chicken. You're a snake guy, right? A chicken egg. I'm not sure like a whole like chicken. I haven't seen it. You might just have to move into the barstool headquarters to protect the chicken. I am here. Yeah. All right. I'm sure I can write a contract for that too. It would be funny if we just had like a battle royale. What can, what can survive a New York City rat and just leave different animals in our office? Rat fighting and just see how long they can survive. All right. Well, Vaughn, thank you so much. Appreciate it. Excited for those thousand bucks. That's going to be great. I'm pretty excited about it too. Cause you know, it's going, it's going to help me out too. It's going to be a big moment. Like people will be going crazy if you

actually score an offensive touchdown and we get paid. It's going to be great and we're going to be rooting for it. We're going to be, we're going to start a campaign, give Vaughn the ball every single week. I like it. I appreciate it. All right, guys. Thank you. The interview with Vaughn Miller is brought to you by Movement Watches. Now it's time to move on to our all time favorite underdog success story. It's Movement, aka MVMT Watches, founded on the belief that style should not break the bank. They've sold almost 2 million watches worldwide by bringing quality designs at fair prices. I love my movement watches. I've got like three or four pairs. I give them out for gifts. I really enjoy them. I love their sunglasses. I like their

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the guy on a date. That was a huge, huge amount of drama. Wait, she stole her drinks? Yeah, a girl had Champagne out and was going to go on a date with Pete and drink it with him. And another girl cucked her basically, took the Champagne, took Pete, and took her idea. What did the first girl do? Did she swing on it? I mean, verbally, she verbally swung. There's a lot of drama. You got to swing on that. That's onsite. The house was at end. So the show started with a lot of tension I heard. So Pete took the girls on a group date to an underground pillow fight club. Yeah, Aliyah. Who doesn't go there? Aliyah won the tournament and gets a Pete, a kiss from Pete. That's the winner of the tournament gets a kiss from Pete?

Sydney then snitched on Aliyah and told Pete that she shows him one side of her and the rest of the girls in the other house, another side. So she called her two-faced. This causes all the other girls in the house to have to snitch on Aliyah saying she's fake. Which one of these ladies doth protest too much? Yeah, who's the one with the burner account? Is it Maddie? Maddie. Is Maddie still at it with her? You the man, Skip, love the new show on FS1. She, I mean, she had the best date on the show. I heard. Pete doesn't give Aliyah the rose ceremony, but tells Chris Hanson right after that he regrets his decision and might bring her back despite all the other girls calling her fake. Total hezzy hey. What's the difference between a professional

pillow fight and an underground pillow fight? I'm not sure. You actually wear gloves in the ones not. Yeah, so what's the belt situation like there? You can't fight. If it's underground, you need to be in a sanctioned pillow fight. But yeah, if I was watching this show, I'd say Pete's acting like a mopey little bitch. Who's this Pete guy anyway? Pete the pilot. He's just, he's a little. I don't like anyone named Pete. He's like, you know, he's crying over the fact that these girls, it's like, he's like, he can't handle the drama. He doesn't want any of the smoke. But he also signed up to be the bachelor. Yeah, I don't like him. He's not cut out for the bright lights. Nope. Also the girl that I predicted I haven't seen her since the first episode. So I

don't know how she's doing. She's laying low. Auburn coach. Yeah, she's dead. Yep. Can't get fined by the NCAA. True. So yeah, that's it. Auburn coach for what? The girl heard. So I thought it was, I thought her dad was the coach of the women's basketball team, but her dad is actually an assistant coach on the men's basketball team. Bruce Pearl? Assistant coach on the men's basketball team. So did Bruce Pearl, did Bruce Pearl maybe kill this girl? Well, he snitched. He snitched on whoever did. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. So she hasn't just, she's been gone. She doesn't do the crime. He just snitches on people. Right. Oh, and then in the, the preview for the next episode, Pete takes a girl to a chase rice concert and then at the date,

the girls like me and chase rice used to date. Fuck yeah. Nice little, nice little ended on a clip. Of course they did. Of course they did. All right. We got to embrace debate. PFT, you have this embrace debate. Yeah, we're trying to figure out who the real hot boys are. So yeah, us, we'll get to that. Okay. But there's a legal dispute going on in the NFL right now. DeMarcus Lawrence said that he had trademarked the phrase hot boys for his defensive linemates in Dallas with onesie. Now the Niners are going to the Super Bowl. Their defensive line is selling merch that says hot boys with twosies. Oh no. So DeMarcus Lawrence is actually, he said, I gave them consistent warnings to stop using the name according to James Slater.

All I can say is thank the imposters. Now y'all work for the real hot boys to clarify. He's telling me that he is working with attorneys to prevent the use of it by anyone other than the cowboys hot boys. Wait, doesn't the Z thing? It's different. It's different. Also, it all originates from Lil Wayne and the hot boys, which I'm looking at Wikipedia now, H-O-T-B-O-Y money sign. But that's where the inspiration comes from. Cash Money Records, yeah. And that started in 1997 in New Orleans. They took over for the 99, 2000. Yep. It was King Midas when they split in half, split the baby in half. What is that? Solomon's Riddle. Solomon's Riddle. They didn't do that where it's like, if you

actually want to be called hot boys, you're not the real hot boys. Because the true hot boy knows that other people call him hot boys all over the lawyers. That's a good point. Oh, so to Marcus Lawrence, he's already thrown out. Right. A real hot boy would settle this and be like, yo. A real hot boy would get the get the get. Guys, don't promote gun violence, please. But that's a hot boy move. It is a hot boy. We should just take over hot boys. We're the hot boys. All right. With four Zs. Yep. Four Zs and three money signs. The Riddle of Solomon Thomas is what they're calling. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't he on the Niners? Yeah, he is. Good joke. Here it is. Thanks, PFT. These hot boys, the hot boys album are just fantastic. The block is hot. Chopper City in the

ghetto. Back that as up. Oh yeah. All time album covers from from Cash Money Records back then. All right. So we're the real hot boys. Everyone shut the fuck up. LeBron blames. LeBron blames his son. So LeBron blames his son. A new low. A new low even for LeBron. He has gone as low as possible. He has blamed his son on his poor performance on Monday night. What did he actually say? He said that he was a little out of rhythm because he went and watched his son play basketball in a tournament in Springfield, Massachusetts and then came back to play the Celtics that night. But they sent him up to say no. They're like, did you go into your son's game effect that you're playing at all? And he could have just been like, no. But he was like, yeah, he's like, yeah,

good point. Yeah, yeah, exactly. He got dunked on too. And because he can't erase the footage, usually when LeBron gets dunked on, he has everyone delete it. Right. He can't erase the footage. So instead, he just blames his son. So he kind of dunked on himself for this answer. Wouldn't you say though that he's saying my choice to go visit my son? Well, he did the made me play worse. He did the family over everything. Right. As a father of three, which is bullshit. Also, I saw his son, his son got hit with a starburst. Yeah. In the game, which was a salt. But also that kid's got to be psyched to eat something that's not dirt and like charcoal and rocks that LeBron always feeds him so he can taste the flavors and wine better. No, you're

thinking of LeBron's three year old daughter. That's who he drinks. The rocks. They've all brawny junior. He makes his daughter make food for herself. And she's like three. That's good. They got to learn sometime. Right. It was an all time LeBron Blames. Every kid, every child has to learn how to microwave saltines with American cheese slices on them. All he had to say was like, well, yeah, you're right. Being a father was more important than not getting dunked on. So this is Ralph Tubo is going down if you keep having sex, buddy. LeBron Blames. All right, guys on checks. Let's finish it up. What's the age where singing in the shower needs to stop? Like home alone, speaker set, no one's going to know when's it too old for that

to still be unacceptable? Never. I feel like singing in the shower starts later on in life. Right. I didn't sing in the shower till I was about 20. Never, ever, ever. Now, if you know someone else is in the apartment, maybe, you know, don't go ham. But if you know you're alone and you can sing in the shower, go for it. Sup boys, especially Errowid, commenter, parentheses, drug guy. Errowid was an old message board where people would log on and describe the drug use. You didn't know about that. No, they would say like, hey, I know this guy writing in was awesome. It's actually a very, very common thing. Oh, yeah. Errowid is super common. You guys just don't know your shit when it comes to finding out about the dark web. I'm sorry I'm more educated. If you

type in like, ask inside of us. Yeah, you're right. My favorite was this one, this one dude had a colony of fire ants. Oh, this one dude? Yeah, this one dude had a colony of fire ants built a nest inside his Mr. Coffee. And he accidentally made coffee with fire ant poison, drank it, his face went numb. He's like, you know what the first thing I'm going to do is log on to Errowid to describe how high I got off accidentally drinking fire ant poison. Yeah, totally. This guy, whoever wrote this in, that was smart. I like to sit down in the shower and makes it easier to shave my legs. My husband says I shouldn't do that because I might sit on his load and get pregnant. Is this possible? Good looking out. And can he aim for the drain at least? It's better to do it in the

shower than it is to do on the carpet right beside the bed though. Yes. Because you're definitely getting some swimmers there. You're sitting in his load. Also porcelain. Porcelain, it's it's too slick. Nothing sticks to it. It is true. You all right Hank? Yeah, just I what that fucking just huge joint you ripped. No, I just drank some I'm having some soup PFT style and I went run down the wrong. I'm throwing the wrong hole. You can't get pregnant if you're pissing, right? So you can just pee while you're saving your legs two birds one stone. You can't get pregnant while you're pissing. What do you mean? You have you ever like you can't get actually the at the moment you're peeing you cannot be pregnant get pregnant. Well, it's like it's like blowing

on a on a dandelion that's in the seed mode. You just you get all the all the stuff away from you. Right. So if you're pissing you're you got to move along now. Yeah. Yeah. The sperm can't swim up. You're not here anymore. Yeah. Sup dad, cat, uncle PFT and Henry. My boyfriend and I were chatting the other day and the topic of boners came up. He goes on to tell me that when he was in high school and would get a boner, he'd just flip it into his waistband. He then goes to tell me every guy in high school did this trick. Yeah. Is this actually something guys do? Thank you. Love you. Absolutely. 1000%. In fact, I did it the other week. Oh, yeah. I've got a real problem going on controllable boners. Yeah. Yeah. Which is remarkable. Yeah. Like I usually don't get a high

T. I only get these random boners that and this might be illuminating to some female listeners. Boners aren't always sexual. Sometimes they just happen. They used to just happen more often. I'm uncomfortable now. Just want middle school and high school. I've got a problem. I usually get very uncomfortable. I usually get boners just riding to the airport. Yeah, I'm getting uncomfortable when I get out. We were riding to the airport many times together. Hank, when we got out of that car, I had to do the waistband talk. Damn, dude. No, no, not the one in Houston. We go to many airports together. I was too tired. But yeah, I don't know what that says about me. Just I enjoy planes. You're excited about planes.

I like air travel. Okay. What's up, Baycat, honk, and P.F. Ween. You got honk? What's that one mean? P.F. Ween. I got a Weenus. Oh, so I've been dating my boyfriend for almost two years now. We get along great and starting to get pretty serious. A few months ago, I moved in with a friend from high school who I consider a close friend. Last weekend when my boyfriend was drunk, he told me he hooked up with my roommate slash friend like seven years ago when we were all in high school. He says it's not a big deal because he hooked up with tons of chicks in high school, but I can't get this out of my head as the three of us hang out at our apartment all the time. Am I overreacting or is this a legitimate gripe to have?

I'd say it's semi-legitimate. 10 is what his number in high school was, man. Well, yeah, it sounds like you're with like Will Chamberlain. So just deal with it. What was your number in high school, Hank? One out of 10. Negative. One out of 10. One out of 10 people that you see on the street, your boyfriend probably fucked. Like that sounds like what that's going on right now. You need, here's what you need to do. Ask her if she wants to have a threesome as a trap. If she says yes, be like get out of my house right now. Get out. If she says no, then no, no, no, no, you say that to her to the girl. If she says yes, you kick her out. If she says no, play this part of part of my take for her to prove that you didn't actually want to have

the threesome. Yes, got him. Hey guys, especially Hank. Been dating a guy for 10 months now and last weekend after we got back from a dinner with his friends. Whoa, my computer fell asleep. After a weekend we got back from a dinner with his friends. Oh, that's a stranger. We started to fool around and he told me he prefers it when there's a little bit of funk when he goes down on me. Oh. I told him that will never happen as I am very clean. I was taken aback, obviously. How concerned should I be? Should I end things with him? Thanks, Jenna. I like a little bit of funk. What a thing to say. Maybe go to the gym right beforehand. I don't know. I don't know what to tell you. Go horseback ride for a couple hours. Sprint up the stairs instead of, you know,

taking your time. We got the funk. Ow. Gotta have that funk. Yeah, do that. I don't know where that guy's coming from though. Maybe, I mean, there's a big wide world out there. A lot of people have weird shit. There are a lot of fetishes. Maybe he was just trying to be polite. Maybe his last girl had some funk and he was like, just in case you are self-conscious about your funk, I could be interested. No, his last girl had some funk. He got addicted to the funk. Tough to quit funk life. Yeah. Poof. Last one. Sup girls. I get an email for an Amazon order today and notice my sister's friend is using my prime to order avid love lingerie baby doll body suit. What is my best method of attack with this woman who is 10 years older than me? Blackmail.

This is prime blackmail material. Hold it in a file. Who is she dating right now? Print it out and file it away. Was this her sister or her sister in law? Sister's friend. File it away for later. She might run for president in which case that is jackpot. In which case that will not affect her presidential campaign whatsoever. But you can still get money. Remember when that was a thing? Yeah, just like, well, if that person did, if that person did a little drugs in college, they'll never be able to run for president. Yeah, did you know? Game has changed. Bernie Sanders spoke marijuana before he became mayor of Burlington, Vermont. Everyone knew a kid in college who was like trying to be president and like, no, I won't drink at this kegger. And it's

like, dude, you had no idea what the future was holding where now anyone can be president. I had a friend that definitely like cleaned up his Facebook after every single night out. He would untag himself from start and not be trying to try and not, you know, trying to run for office. Gotta have a pristine record behind everything. No skeleton in the closet. No, cannot scrape me off that flight log with Jeffrey Epstein. That was not there. All right, we'll see everyone on Friday. We've got a recurring guest on Friday. See you then. Love you guys.