Pardon My Take - Wild Card Weekend, Kyle Long Calls In And Retires, + Hank Soggy Sorrows

Episode Date: January 6, 2020

A Wild Wild Card Weekend. We start with the fastest 2 minutes (2:27 - 6:20). The Bills Texans game was absolutely insane and Josh Allen was equal parts electric and crazy (6:20 - 21:19). The Patriots lose and people are asking if this is the end (21:19 - 43:17). Saints lose a shocker and Kirk Cousins gets his signature win (43:17 - 53:46). Jadaveon Clowney cheap shots Carson Wentz and Russ Wilson keeps the Seahawks season alive (53:46 -61:02). Who's back of the week including documentaries and a review of "Dont Fuck With Cats" coming Wednesday (61:02 - 70:57). We call Kyle Long who retired on Sunday night to find out what a freshly retired Football Player thinks . Jason Garrett is finally fired, we think. And Hank does Soggy Sorrows for the Patriots loss (83:40). You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, Wild Card Weekend, and boy was it a Wild Card Weekend. Holy shit. It was crazy. We're going to recap every single game. We're going to do some boomers.

We're going to do some who's back. We actually called Kyle Long, our friend, he announced his retirement during Wild Card Weekend. For a few minutes and soggy sorrows, Hank's going to do soggy sorrows, possibly the end of the dynasty. He's agreed to it. So we're very excited. No, don't.

We'll get to it. We'll get to it. Before we do all that, pardon my take is brought to you by the Cash App. Not only is it the easiest place to send money to your friends, but it's also the place where you can buy fractional shares of stock with as little as $1. Pifty, you're going to play the market this year? Of course. I'm always playing the market.

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I have a future bet on Soleimani becoming the Ayatollah one day. So maybe I'll say that. Bad Beats Monday. Bad Beats Monday. Okay. Come back in. Let's go. Let's go.

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Wild card. Wild card. Woo. Wildcat. It's a run. Woo. We start in H-Town where JJ Wannaburger, beloved by all Texans, was back in action and on camera more than Chrissy Teigen and John Legend at an award show.

The Bills came out hot using their trick playbook to run the Billy Special, a touchdown pass to quarterback Josh Allen and almost Devon, single terry, blue cheese mountains, jumping through some tables, was running through the Texans defense like a large order of duffs through your colon. It was a tale of two halves as Deshaun Connery Watson started moving the rock at will and DeAndre the Giant Hopkins hands proved to be the eighth wonder of the world. The wild finish came down to kickers as Kymie Ric Flairberne had all the Texans fans singing woo.

Woo. Finally, back to the cameraman, JJ Redick Watt started out playing dookie but figured out his three-point stance in time for one shining moment which he promptly ruined by farting on his brother TJ Watt as first reported by eSports reporter Dan Ravel, Texan 22, Bills 19. We go up to Foxborough where the reports of a winter storm left Patrick Chung disappointed as there were no piles of snow on the field Saturday night. The story of this game was Derrick Henry aka Traktor Sito tough to wrap up like a big

burrito, football point view at incognito, make you surrender like your hero Hito, Traktor Sito, Ryan Tannehill outtooled Tom Brady 72 yards to 209 yards. The student became the teacher as Syke Vrable played mind games and played the part of Will Hunting telling an incredibly accomplished Fields medal winner Bill Belichick, do you know how fucking easy this is for me? I'm sorry you can't do this. I'm sorry you're not as smart as me. Mohamed Zinn Nudes was thirsty but came up empty and it looks like Tom Brady won't have

any reason to smash his phone this offseason. If this is me first reporting the end of the dynasty let me just say it's been a pleasure covering it starting all the way back at the catch where a young swam and an even younger Tom Terefic were in attendance at that play. Titans 20, Patriots 13. In the big drew breezy where Taysum Jonah Hill made the Vikings defense look super bad. Sick reference boom your references are out of control. Kirk marry your cousins exploded with Einstein's theory of quarterback play.

If you play long enough eventually you'll win a big game. Adam made his good luck black eyed peas for New Year's and he's got a feeling that these vikes are going to be some good vikes. Kyle Rudolph Rudiger helped pull off a true underdog story and Sean Puffy Combs Peyton said I'll be missing you to the 2019 NFL season. You viked that Minnesota as a Viking shot the Saints in the dome 23-20. We finished in Philadelphia where Carson Wentz suffered a first half injury and without any of Russell Wilson's concussion, the Eagles were forced to turn to the ageless wonder

Josh McCount of Monte Cristo who had been waiting patiently 20 years to appear in a playoff game. It was pizza Carol Day at the DK Met cafeteria. Which table you sitting at boom? As the Seahawks were able to feast on a battered eagle secondary. Quentin Thomas Jefferson declared independence in Philadelphia and the Seahawks are the first bird team to beat another bird team in their own nesting grounds. As the Eagles lay an egg to finish the season.

Seattle 17 Philadelphia 9. Wild card. That was an awesome weekend of football. Oh my god. Why is it over? That was an insane wild card weekend probably I wouldn't say the best wild card weekend because I honestly just can't remember all the wild card weekends at the time I had. But it was probably the most thrilling.

Every game two games went into overtime. Every game was felt like it could go either way. You had huge upsets. You had maybe the end of a dynasty. Maybe the end of Drew Brees's career and Carson Wentz got hurt. Yeah. It was a crazy weekend. I mean getting it started with an overtime game is always an awesome way to get the

ball rolling and especially the way that that game turned out. Well yeah. So it's crazy. So we'll start with the Bills Texans. By the way you can watch us on Parstallgold.com slash PMT. The Bills Texans and we joke the Saturday ESPN game is always the biggest snoozer of a game in wild card weekend and it was the exact opposite this year because that game lost its fucking mind.

Dude the game was like being waterboarded with four loco because you were alternately like passing out from excitement waking up feeling drunk. It was insane. It passed the test. I had so much fun. I was actually screaming at a television in a bar. Yeah. I felt like I was in a Buffalo Wildlings commercial.

They passed the test where I was just randomly standing up in my living room like screaming at the TV wondering what the hell was going on. The Bills looked awesome in the first half. They played way too conservative. Like that was a classic case of they started settling for field goals and being happy that they were up and the Texans to Sean Watson. When Davos Sweeney says he's Michael Jordan like that's what he's talking about the fact that he has that poise and that one play where he got sacked twice twice sacked spun

around and made a play. But that fourth quarter everyone lost their minds in the coaches lost their mind the players lost their mind the announcers lost their mind everything went to shit all at the same time. What was crazy about that Watson hit. He did absorb two hits like right back to back like bang bang and I think that if the second guy hadn't hit him he was going to fall down he almost got like knocked back on to equilibrium by the second guy that was sacking.

But the fact that he didn't go down then scrambled it was amazing it was it was so much fun to watch. I actually think I think the game turns out a much different way if the start of the second half is called different yes on that that touch back that was initially ruled a touchdown. We were introduced to the Sky Judge the Sky Judge came running out and we've been clamoring for the Sky Judge for years now turns out it's just like a 40 year old dude who's probably 30 pounds overweight no offense to Sky Judge. But he revealed his face because it was so clear what happened was the the call happens

it's a touchdown the ref is a total dick but he calls it kind of correctly like you have to either kneel right or you know what I mean like he just kind of threw the ball and the Sky Judge comes running on the field and essentially someone from New York probably called him up probably that big red button that we we've been demanding after the NFC championship game last year. Roger Goodell called him up and was like go fix this because it's a common sense thing that will never hear the end of this if they call that a touchdown. Well since when does the NFL care about common sense since when do they care about the spirit

of the rulebook. This is like a brand new day for the NFL and there are two Sky Judges there was the first they were actually the men in black. Yes there was Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith there was a white guy and a black guy they came out there and they immediately like they pointed at the ref they're like dude what are you doing you fuck this all up just trying to make that about yourself. So what happened was he caught the ball and then he tossed it forward to the ref. So well not before.

Hold on. He motioned to the ref and the ref waved him off and then he threw it. So and if you actually want to call it it's an illegal forward pass right. No it should it should have been it should have been a touchdown for the bills. I know it's like safety. No should not throw it forward. It's like it's some I'll pull it up but isn't that it is that not an illegal forward pass. I don't know.

Either way he threw it forward. I'm happy that they called it the way they did eventually because it was one of those common sense things but the ref did pretty much make it clear like I don't want the ball right now you have to kneel before you give me the ball and they just put his hands up in the air like free play. Yeah like balls up. Don't touch not touch me not touch me. You're a little brother.

Yeah not touch me. I'm not touching that ball. Yeah it would have been a zero second touchdown probably the fastest touchdown in NFL history. Everyone who had the over was like holy shit this is awesome we're back. It was incredible to watch but yeah they I think they got it right in the spirit of the rule but I mean the NFL historically has not given a shit. If I'm the Bills fans I'm I don't know what you organize like Hank you got arrested in Roger Goddell's office space.

Do you just like mail a bunch of dildos to the NFL League office feel so bad for Bills fans do a shit in just ask to use their bathroom over and over and over again at Park Avenue. Fuck they were that game was so winnable and I guess we should talk about our guy Josh Allen because he was awesome at times. He was awesome running the football the first half. It was clear that that was like they were going to unleash him and the Bills had such a good game plan to start the game. I don't know what happened.

They just kind of turdled when it got closer. It almost was like Bill O'Brien's conservative nature was transferred to the other sideline because Bill O'Brien was just the game started with the Texans punting twice in Bills territory which is Bill O'Brien special but Josh Allen and the lateral play the shades of Reggie Bush trying to lateral it in the championship game where it's like I thought you were going to say Fiji rugby. No because that also would counted. Nope.

Yeah. He offloaded it. Fuck it. I'm just going to make a play and you could see in his eyes that he was like this might be going a little too fast for me and the whole and this is also when like boogers calling for screen passes on on third down and spikes on fourth down and the refs the refs started over time by saying there must be a winner in this game like everyone lost their mind at the exact same time and it made for just fantastic television.

Bill O'Brien would have played for a tie. That's how that's why they had to say that they knew that about Bill who by the way doesn't look healthy. He's he's developing like this pear shaped body thing going on. That's football. It looks like a cartoon lunch lady a little bit but he was very conservative. When they had the when they had the lead he played like he played not to lose a game. Yes.

And it ended up working out for him but that was mostly because of Josh Allen and the way that he played in the fourth quarter which was insane insane but it was so fun to watch. It was awesome to watch and the thing about Josh Allen is there's no in between with Josh on any play. He gave him play. He's going to prove somebody right and he's going to prove somebody very wrong because and it's kind of like how we observe Josh Allen either really like him or you hate him right and he will make you right and then he'll make you wrong on the play after.

So he's fun to watch. He's exciting. He threw like a forty five yard deep ball to his full back in double coverage was awesome. He was playing with his pants on fire. He was playing. Like a little kid just hopped up on sugar just running around making plays. He was like Brett Farve Brett Farve had 80 D. I'm thinking that that with Josh Allen he's he's got these plays that they script for

him at the beginning of the game but then they just kind of go back to a base offense right after they get all the creativity out and why I man there's like so many things that the bills can look back on. There was a shitty shitty call that that blindside block call that was soft soft but more than anything like I Frank Gore is a Hall of Famer. Why are you giving Frank Gore the ball when when Singletary was awesome. It was there was a moment where I looked it up and I was like am I losing my mind. Singletary had like five yards of carry and Frank Gore had two yards of carry and they

were had equal amount of carries is like why are you doing this. You need to win this game. You can't just keep playing conservative football and that just bit them in the ass the end and they almost want it still even even in spite of all of that in spite of Josh Allen kind of losing his mind and that that's sack sequence which I would say actually the first sack wasn't really on him when he took the sack on third down. That was him. Yeah.

No that wasn't on him. His line just didn't block. No. So it was a quick snap and his line just didn't even touch the second sack. He could have at least thrown it down second sack thrown out of bounds that sort of thing because that one that one was weird because then the Texans right field goal territory was like a six point swing was also crazy that the booth which they didn't have their best game just didn't bring up the fact that on fourth and like 28 or whatever it was.

They never brought up the idea that could punt there right there like oh they just have to go for it. It's like really they have three time out they have the time out like just why wouldn't they kick it like they just never the booth had a tough game was a tough game that everyone lost their mind at the same time. We also had a punter spiking the ball because they were going through replay review and they figured they might as well have their kicking team out on the field just in case that it wasn't overturned they wouldn't have to rush them on.

They had them spike the ball on first down. Yes. It was insane. It was nuts. And I loved every second of it. I wish it had gone another way. I wish that the bill is won. I think the bills probably should have won that game because the Texans offense is much

much different without willful fuller it only have Deandre Hopkins to stretch the field. It becomes a very very different game plan for them. I want to say the bill should have won that game but that is put that is not giving enough credit to how incredible Deshaun Watson was in the second half the fact they needed two two point conversions and they got them both in both in like great fashion and we should probably mention we probably have gone the longest that you can possibly go without mentioning JJ Watt because he was on camera seven billion times is pacing. He was he was a no show the first half second half.

He made the plays that they like he actually the Deandre Hopkins the sequence where Deandre Hopkins decided to just run with the ball like he was reaching for the goal line at the 40 his own 40 and fumbled the the bills are going back by the way the bills if they had just picked up that ball they could have run it back. I don't know if you remember. Yeah. They they he picked up the ball and then they just kind of started celebrating instead of running back.

No one was touching him. But anyway the bills are going back in and JJ Watt has the huge sack to keep to a field goal which keeps it to that two score game and that was like a huge play and they had another second in overtime which is a huge play and I'm just happy that he had those big plays because the poor cameraman that had to spend the entire afternoon with his camera locked in on TJ Watt for that TJ Watt reaction. I was worried that they were never going to get it. They finally got it in like the fourth quarter.

Isn't that insane though that we've got guys coming back from pec injuries in just like a month and a half. What are you trying to say? I'm just saying it's insane. What are you trying to say? You haven't heard about this type of injury being recovered from until the age of modern medicine. Ray Lewis did it.

Yeah. Well that was Ray Lewis. The deer antler spray. Did you see Brian Cushing on the sideline with just a huge black eye? Yeah of course. That's the most perfect thing ever. He lives his life always with the black eye. If he sees himself in the mirror without a black eye he's like I got to go out and get

him to fight ASAP. He either got in a fight. I'm getting soft. Either got in a fight with someone. He probably gives himself a black eye. Well he either got in a fight with someone at Starbucks because he didn't want to be there. Maybe his wife.

Because he didn't say Merry Christmas to him. No his wife made him go to Starbucks because remember he was like Starbucks for chicks and or he got in a fight with like I wouldn't be shocked if he just got in a fight with a piece of equipment in the weight room. Just head butted the bench press. Yeah like fuck this. Yeah just dropped a barbell on his face. It was a fun game to watch again.

I'm just sad for Bill's Mafia because I thought that this was their chance to win a game and I was thinking after the game what where does Buffalo go from here because they've got a pretty good team. I just don't know. I don't know how you can improve. They have a lot of free agents. Yeah. A lot of shit.

They're defense. They got a lot of shit. They got to deal with PFT. You want to. Do you want to end this game. Do you want to. Do you want to finish talking about this game and move on to where the bills could go. I got.

I got one more thing to say. Okay. I want to say goodbye to Lorenzo Alexander because Lorenzo Alexander has been one of my favorite players throughout his entire career. He's the Taysum Hill of defense and he's also played offense too. I think over the course of his NFL career he's played offensive guard. I think he's played offensive tackle. He's played full back.

He's played linebacker outside linebacker middle linebacker and defensive tackle. He's played. He's done everything. He's Swiss Army. He's had an awesome career and it sucks that it's over because I used to always love watching him play. So that sucks. And we also should just give a shout out to Booger for giving us another great game

telestrator dick with Booger uses the word come a lot in the broadcast to the point where I think he's starting to realize that he uses it a lot because this was the this was what he said during the telestrator dick. These two guys are coming now both going to come inside. So that's what he said during the telestrator dick and been watching a little too much to you on a Trump. Yeah. There you go.

Ding. Another reference. So he had to. He stopped himself because he realized like oh Booger you did it again. You keep talking about guys coming inside other guys and doing it well though. There's a telestrator dick on the screen was perfect. It was just you know as much as people hated on Booger for his performance I mean I get it.

It's fun to get mad at announcers and I love doing it too. He absolutely made up for it with that telestrator dick. I think that was him throwing a little red meat to America being like OK I know that you guys are talking about me. There's a dick. I guess the only positive I could say for Booger and Testor because they had a terrible game was that the game was so crazy. Maybe they were just trying to match the mood by being equally as crazy and bad.

Yeah. They were drunk. They were drunk off football just like the rest. He does have to come up with a different word than come though. It's kind of like I can never insert. Well I never know you know effect in effect. Yeah. So I just say impact.

You need to say attack or or or rush or just anything but penetrate. Yeah. No don't anything but come. He just always is saying they're coming on his face and they're coming at him and like I think at one point he said look at look at him come on Josh Allen's face and look at this guy come in Josh Allen's face. This guy's a load too when he just it's it gets a little too much. So he's got to maybe he should just specify which cum he's using.

He's like look at this guy C O M E in inside. It may just before every telecast like Booger's going to say the word come a lot. I mean it'd be great. So you know he doesn't mean the ejaculate one. It would be great if they bleeped them out when he was saying come it would sound a lot a lot funnier. But yeah the Texans next week we have the everyone's calling it the Mr. Risky Bowl because it's Mahomes vs. Watson.

I get it. Guess what. Mr. Risky could never be in the AFC playoffs. So shut up. That's true. Yeah. But the bills. Where do they go from here.

Well funny you ask PFT. We can go to the next game. What was the next game. I'm a little forgetful. Is the dynasty dead. Are the Patriots done or are they finished Hank Hank's going to do soggy stars at the end of the show by the way. He's literally getting in a shower while we interview him.

The season is finished. The dynasty is not done where. So the panic button. Did you smash it. At what point did you smash it. What kind of question is that one point did you smash it during the game because it was one of those weird games where it felt like the Patriots were going to do even with 15 seconds left.

You're like something weird is going to happen when they didn't score on the goal line. That was that was tough and then going in the fourth quarter that's probably when I started to get panicked. I was like this is this is feeling sketchy like we should be winning. This is bad. I don't feel good about this game. I thought it was bad right on the opening drive for the Titans when Derek Henry was just imposing his will and Belichick is really good at taking away one thing right and that's

all the way to play action. It's really a ten hill which you didn't have to need to as Derek Henry running for seven yards a carry. It was to the point where like Derek Henry getting a five yard gain in that first quarter felt like a win. He didn't get touched until he was like four yards into the Patriots backfield. Derek Henry when he scored his touchdown in I think it was a second quarter. He scored a one yard touchdown.

His yards per carry went down to seven point six. That's how good he was in the first. I don't know how you stop him either. I really don't because they tried everything that they could but when you when you don't get a square shoulder on there maybe you just have to tackle him by his hair. You have to specialize in someone who can jump around him and just pull him back by his little dreadlock. Shout out to us for being a Derek Henry podcast for at least two months now because we've

been talking about Tractor Cito and Derek Henry season how in December November December now January no one wants to tackle him. Nope. And no one wanted to tackle him on Saturday night. So this game was pretty much the Titans basically out Patriots the Patriots like Vrable coming in running the ball controlling the clock the classic time snatcher saga which was incredible to watch. Yeah.

So if you didn't watch the game or you didn't follow exactly what was going on with six and a half minutes left and the Titans have fourth down and ready to punt there's a rule in the playbook that each penalty doesn't stop the clock until after five minutes hits. So he basically just erased two minutes of time on the clock knowing that he wanted the game to be as short as possible. And not only did he do that as a loophole. So they took an intentional they took a delay game and off sides and they got actually the Patriots to go off sides.

So it's three penalties in a row. Well I think Belichick was doing that on purpose at first right to try to take away their five yards and it was it was like a it was dueling Adam Sandler gifts from uncut gyms both those guys staring at you saying this is how I win this is how I win and that's what Belichick did against the Jets. Yeah. So he said he said they're going to close the loophole at some point. So his quote from earlier in the season when he did this exact same thing.

Bill Belichick did the exact same thing. He said it was just the way the rules are set up. We're able to run a quite a bit of time off the clock without really having to do anything. That's probably a loophole that will be closed and probably should be closed. But right now it's open. That's ominous. I'll just say I love I love harmless intentional penalties. It's so funny to watch them go back and forth and I guess the rule is you can't commit the

same penalty twice in a row because then it's unsportsmanlike behavior on the coach and it's 15 15 yards and the clock stops. So you have to think of different penalties right to commit back to back to back. Right. So and this is so Belichick and Vrabel I would assume Vrabel got this from Belichick because Belichick did it with the Jets like I'm sure that Vrabel is paying attention like hey but Belichick essentially is like those hackers that the FBI hires to like hack into their own mainframe to find all the loopholes.

Yeah. Essentially eventually Belichick coaches long enough will have like a perfect rule book because he will found every single loophole that exists. Well then they can just say things like common sense and just make up whatever they want. Right. That's true. But it's crazy that this is how it kind of and at the time everyone's like is this actually a good thing.

But the way the Patriots often seem like the Patriots are going to come down and just waste all the clock. Right. Just kick a field going win. Right. So that's a calculated risk. And you should all we should also note that Vrabel did this partially because his punter was incredible.

Brett Kearns was insane. Like he was the field position game just tipped the way of the Titans all night long. So he did that. They had the motivation. Did you see that the Patriots gave the Titans Bolton board material. So after the game a lot of the guys in the Titans locker room were talking about Kyle Van Noy talking about how this was going to be the Patriots revenge tour. So they kept on bringing it up saying how's that revenge tour.

And Mike Vrabel went into the post game locker room with his players and said they wanted hyenas. They got fucking hyenas referencing Tom Brady's hype video that he released on his Instagram Saturday morning which was which was awesome. Awesome. Can I say that. Incredible video. Incredible.

Him and Edelman. Back to back. Oh their video fiends. They're always awesome. Everybody was saying like when you're a lion when you're in front of a lion it's too late to be scared. Yes. That was his whole message was he didn't count on running into Midwestern dentist.

Yes. That was going to shoot him and in a protected game preserve. And Vrabel also went out on the field and basically just fucked the field before the game started. Yes. He was planking on the sidelines for minutes at a time just putting his dick inside the turf like Les Miles likes to pick up the grass and eat it. Mike Vrabel likes like he likes to come on the field.

Shout out booger. You should call that game. It was it was intimidation from from Vrabel from the very beginning and in that showdown where they were just staring at each other willing back and forth penalties and the clock melting according to Aaron Schatz at football outsiders the win probability for the Patriots decreased by 6.5 percent. There it is. It's just pretty big.

That is big in a game. Yeah. So and then on top of all that this one is just pure conjecture here but the goal line stand that the Titans made in the first half which basically that was a huge huge moment because the Patriots had moved it down the field a couple of times. They ran the play same play three times ran the same same play three times. You this is going to hurt Hank. But and again we don't know if Belichick was going to pick this guy but Rashawn Evans

who made the big play Alabama linebacker the Titans in the draft two years ago traded up to get one spot ahead of the Patriots to pick him. Now Bill Belichick loves Alabama players. I don't know. Maybe they weren't going to get a linebacker. They have a great defense. They have great linebackers but like that's another Vrabel thing. So Vrabel has basically learned the Patriot way and then came in and did that.

It was a crazy game. It was you watch that whole game like being like OK well now the Patriots will probably you know do something here now they'll probably and Edelman had the big drop which is weird because he's always the guy who makes all the clutch plays. He also had that awesome end around though when Brady told him get in position and pretended like he he pretended he was mad at Edelman which would never happen because they're best friends. So he was like get in position right now and then had him come in motion took the hand

off ran an easy four touchdown. So this is the first time since 2003 that an AFC championship game won't have Tom Brady paint manninger Ben Routhasberger and it's the only the second time since that time 2003 that the Super Bowl the AFC representative from the Super Bowl won't have those three guys the only other time that Joe Flacco. So it's crazy like it's very weird that the Patriots are out in the wild card weekend. The whole thing just feels odd. It does but also as of I took a night slept on it and it's like since we moved to New

York three years ago since this show has existed every year the Patriots have been in the Super Bowl when we're down there statistically it can't happen every year. So it's almost feels better. Just because there's 32 other there's 31 other teams or whatever it's just not going to happen every year. I'd rather they lose in the wild card. Thank you for calling the Browns the Lions the Bears the team. It's better to lose to a former Patriot and a guy that it's like Patriots.

It would have been. I just want to lose. This way. Or yes because the chiefs and Ravens are rivals their fans are knowing it's like they're the worst losing to them would have been the worst losing to go where it's like the Patriots basically beat the Patriots Vrable friend of the show friend of the program I like him personally it's like all right well you know you lost to them go out beat the Ravens beat the Chiefs I would it's much better losing the Titans than any of the other teams left

in the AFC. It is you can like what Hank is saying Patriots fans can spin that where it's like Mike Vrable the only thing that could be John Harvon and beat the Patriots. The only thing it didn't be Patriots was a Patriot right we learned how to do the Patriot way and the way he won that game like the clock control and and running Derek Henry and winning with a power power offense and you know their defense which isn't that great of a defense statistically this year playing really well. The whole thing is like yeah the Patriots beat the Patriots yeah I can see that you

could also make the argument that it's good to have at least one former assistant of Bill Belichick. Well he was never even assistant also Brian Flores beat you too right that's true back to back. The Patriots have really the Dolphins was already like the guard was up the panic button was out of this might not be the year you make the argument that the Patriots have a two game winning streak going against the Patriots right now. Yeah.

Yeah. They're hot at the right time and they're peaking at the right time. The Patriots are beating the Patriots at the right time. It's going to be interesting seeing the Titans play against the Ravens next week because I mean that's probably going to be one of the shortest games in NFL history. Yes. It's going to be run the ball run the ball run the ball run the ball. Big 10 back.

I'm counting that as a big 10 bowling. Absolutely you should. Hank do you think there's any merit to the theory that the Patriots lost this game intentionally so that the Titans would get a worse draft pick so that Josh McDaniels and Tom Brady when they go to the Colts next year. Oh it's the Colts. They'd have a little advantage over and the Colts are going to welcome McDaniels back that's what you're saying.

Yeah I think this is a long con by Josh McDaniels saying not this year let me fuck up the draft position for the Titans real quick then I'll come back and be ahead of them. Well surprisingly enough we have the most compensatory comp and whatever you call those things. Compensatory. Compensatory. Did you see that someone had a great woe on Twitter on Saturday night that Tom Brady's all the ankle stuff he has around his ankle it's actually a buzzer that Ernie Adams hits

every time there's blindside pressure. I believe it. And that's why he's the greatest of all time. I believe it. But so would you. That feels like holy shit dude. Maybe he's got eyes in the back of his head and the only the only fault the Patriots had this year was like they forgot to change the batteries.

That was it. I like that buzzer. The buzzer ran out. I like that a lot. So Hank where because this is going to be the big discussion. What happens to Tom Brady he's a free agent for the first time in his career. And are you how are you feeling about the dynasty. Listen 2009 the Patriots lost in the wild card game to the Ravens I got absolutely smoked

Ray Rice had that first like first play touchdown. They got killed at home everyone's like the dynasty is over. I was the first dynasty. They went and had another complete dynasty. So it's not. It's a double. They got two guys. People aren't really giving it like the dynasty is over.

The second dynasty is over. OK. Start of the third act for the Patriots. So you think there's a third one coming. I do not. I don't see Brady going anywhere else. Like I've thought about it. I understand that it's the first time in his career he can do whatever he wants.

But I just realistically it's like one of those things where you can do whatever you want. But you don't want to leave your job. You don't want to leave. Like he runs the Patriots. He can do whatever he wants. He knows the system. He knows everything.

He would have to go move his family. New system. New coaches. New players. Not if he goes to McDaniels. McDaniels though. If they go together. But where are they.

I can't. There's nowhere that they would go. I'd be like oh yeah I could see that happening. I just don't. I don't. I understand that it's a possibility. I just don't see it happen. The the question that everyone keeps throwing out there like oh yeah Tom Brady might go

to the Chargers or he might go here there. I don't understand what the Patriots like who would they bring in that would be better than what Tom Brady is. And the only question is whether it comes down to money because it's like if Tom Brady says I want to get paid thirty million dollars a year and I want it to be a two year contract then I could see Bill Belichick being like I looked at the tape and you're not worth that. But I do think that whatever when when they drew out the Jimmy G Tom Brady was not like

he did not want them like bringing in his prep like his his successor but now he knows he's older. I don't think he's ever going to like signing a two year deal but this is it's much different now where it's like but the money thing is what I'm very. They are we're going to give you the money that you want but you have like we're also going to draft a guy and when you're done he's going to be the guy and you have to be OK with that but we'll give you what you want for these two years because Kraft says he's the most important player in the franchise he's not going to like fuck him over but again

it comes down to Bill Belichick the reason why you guys had such sustained sustained insane success that probably we'll never see again in the NFL is because he always knows when a guy needs to go but it wasn't really Brady's fault none of it like he played well OK I like he had no weapons and the defense just shit the bed the last two games I agree that Brady looks like he still has stuff in the tank he was not the reason they lost either of those games but that Titans defense wasn't special and they scored 13 points at home like it wasn't a special defense that wasn't like they got beat by this insane insanely good defense that shut them down like they ran the ball three times in a row on the goal

line they didn't even give him a chance yeah that was that was baffling I agree that was about you were waiting for that like the the classic play action where no one's around Tom Brady just standing there I mean that's also a product of the fact that they never replaced Gronk they never even really tried to replace Gronk they got and they got 95 receivers this year they play with nobody they have a nine year old tight end that they they tried to use to replace Rob Gronkowski and that's not going that's not going to cut it but I don't think Bill's looking at the team being like oh Tom is like we need to get rid of Tom no and Tom is stability it's like we can keep Tom on get him some weapons and but I just

agree I think that they're going to be I think that they're going to get a quarterback in the later rounds but it's going to be less of like a this guy needs to start now here's the only thing I'll throw out last thing I'll throw out about is I I agree with you Hank that I I would if I had to put my money on it that Tom Brady would be back with the Patriots and they would still be probably when the FC East probably have you know either be competing for a first round buy or somewhere around there the only difference this time it feels like is that the other guys in the AFC are young and good like it's not it's now Mahomes and Lamar Jackson like the competition has kind of regrown in the AFC where it's a lot

harder than it was maybe four or five years ago. Yeah but I don't think a team can win two out of the last three Super Bowls be in three out of the last four and then one wild card playoff loss the dynasty is not over. Okay so one but one more year Hank you said that there are two dynasties but if they win double dynasty if they win next year that's still a part of the second dynasty. Yes. So they have to go two years again would there then be the start of the third dynasty. No I think if they win next year it'd be part of the second dynasty but then if they win the year after that then it's like a third dynasty. You take yeah you take the most recent two and that starts the third dynasty. Oh you

can you can pick and choose like that. Yeah. Nobody in dynasty has to be three out of three out of four or three out of five I think is a dynasty. Thought experiment on the open market right now. Let's just say it's Team X out there. Okay not the New England Patriots. Also Phil Rivers someone I think it was Will Brunson threw it out Phil them replacing Tom Brady with Phil Rivers would be hilarious. That'd be great. Can you imagine if they replace him with James Winston. Bill Belichick's heart would explode. He would just go insane. Bill Belichick would definitely get James Winston and he'd throw like two interceptions on the open market. I don't know if that's possible. But I actually would think it would it would

happen. Who's worth more money. James Winston or Tom Brady. James. That's Wow. That's big of you to admit that Hank. He's just got more years. Yeah. 26. Yeah. And he's a future Hall of Famer. That's so we know if Tom Brady is a future Hall of Famer. Yes. Wait is this the is this a six year bump for Ryan Tannehill. No he's been in the league for like eight or nine. Oh and he was so bad. Like if you look at Ryan Tannehill stats you would think the Patriots won by 40. Marcus myriad outplayed him. He was one for one. The pity package for Marcus Mariotta is hilarious. Basically the package for Marcus Mariotta is them saying we're going to give Derek Henry a 30 second break because he's carried the ball 17 times

in a row. So we put Marcus out there and try not to fuck things up too bad. Yeah. The by the way this guy on Twitter because obviously Twitter was going crazy. I did the I bet on the Patriots so I couldn't like enjoy the the Twitter memes. I was so mad that I bet on the Patriots even though I was just waiting for that to happen. You know what I mean. You were waiting the whole game like OK they're going to probably march down the field. But this guy Joe Concha TV. I don't know where he's from TV. He said the mockery of Brady on Twitter is so Twitter. Know this. He's the greatest quarterback of all time. Nine Super Bowls six championships. The unprecedented comebacks and said Super Bowl against the

Seahawks and Falcons. Go ahead and laugh. You'll never see another quarterback with this resume. I love when people don't understand Twitter and they try to make a point on Twitter about how bad Twitter is and stop. Stop having fun and making jokes about people that you don't like. God forbid anyone makes a joke about a team losing which we do when every team. Michael Jordan's a fucking crying face meme. Yep. It's I just I love that shit. So you will do soggy sorrows and we'll maybe get to the real core of like how you're feeling. Yeah. So Hank if I come back on Saturday if two if two is still on the board. That's your favorite Saturday night. You party. You get ready for the big game. You wake up. You're

like you're going to the game. He doesn't day off Sunday. He doesn't watch the games anyway. He has to watch from the concourse. Yeah. But that's that's gone. I know if two is on the board. Do you take him. No. No. No. You don't drive. I don't you don't want. You're insane. I don't I don't want to deal with the crazy man with the bullshit media for like a year being like to bullshit media. You got to get the mainstream media. Well I mean the Boston media is the worst. Like they're the ones that are doing G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. Just get someone in like the fourth or fifth round. Get a bad quarterback. Yeah. Like no I'd rather have a bad quarterback than a good quarterback. A big 10 some big 10 like random back quarterback. You have

a big 10 quarterback right now. I know I'm just saying I'm saying like the third or fourth best big 10 quarterback that's available. So you'd rather you'd rather waste the pick on a no one needs family from Iowa. Tom Brady is proof that it's just development within the system. So you got to get the next guy that's going to learn the system over the course of a couple years but not threaten. So I hear what I hear what you're saying. I understand what you're saying. I think it's completely incorrect but I get it. If you're Bill Belichick ignorant slut. But if you thank you for bringing your point out thank you for speaking your mind so that I can know that you're wrong instead of just assuming that you're wrong about things.

But if you heard Bill Belichick talk after the game he sounded different than he's ever sounded in the past when they were asking him like okay what's it going to look like moving forward. He's like I just need to take some time and think about the game that just happened which you never hear Belichick say ever. Also he's got some thoughts running through his head too like if Brady's gone I don't know if Bill is going to stay around too much longer. Yeah he loves football. I don't he can't do anything. If he leaves football he's well he could go to like a front office position. No he's I feel like the minute he stops coaching football he's just going to die. Or I'll just go up in the booth and let Steve he take the range.

How about that? How about that absolute dunk by Belichick on that one reporter who said Bill what do you have to say to the fans who've been with you through thick and thin and he was like well I'd say there's been a lot more thick than thin. I'd say there's been no thin. He's like yeah pretty good. I mean that's a good flex. Like who what's the thin. I think by thin they just mean like wild card lost every 10 years and the like relentless NFL investigations into their various cheating methods. Okay so get ready for the next what would you say six months of is the dynasty over. Yeah so I mean I'm going to be scouring the local real estate market to find out where Tom Brady is buying and selling houses non-stop. I'm going to find out where he's trying to enroll

his kids in school because it's a normal thing to do that a lot of people are doing. So yeah we will have a lot to talk about. We are by no means done discussing whether or not the Patriots are done or if they're finished. All right before we get to the next game butcher box it is 2020 guys I'm done with carbs cyan are carbs I'm eating meat meat meat and I'm doing it with butcher box they send you high quality meat the highest quality meat for better price in the grocery store every month butcher box ships a curated selection of high quality meat right to my apartment all meat is free of antibiotics and added hormones each box has 9 to 11 pounds of meat enough for 24 individual meals packed fresh and shipped frozen and vacuum sealed so it stays that way you can

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quarterback career possibly ending now I'm not going to do that I told you so but we did have this discussion about a month ago and I said the one thing I'm nervous about is Drew Brees making two or three deep throws he looked bad he looked bad on Sunday that was a head scratcher of a loss for the Saints and not taking anything away from the Vikings who Kirk Cousins gets his big win and made big throws in overtime and deserves all the credit he even brought back the you like that but the Saints like what a what a crazy three year ends you know to this whole thing where it's Minneapolis miracle the NFC championship game and then a home game against the Vikings seven and a half point favorites and they lose in overtime I think with Drew Brees you can at least

point to his thumb as being a problem but this happened last year but this year but they are still good enough to make the Super Bowl last year they should have been this right but the same but their offense was still pretty good and if you have like a 80% Drew Brees when they had Camara and they had Ingram last year and they've still got Camara I think that they're still a good enough offense when he's totally healthy he he didn't look right today like the fumble that he had where he just dropped it out of his out of his injured right hand that was something I don't buy that I think it's I think he honestly like he was not mobile the the credit to the Vikings defense for having a great game plan where they basically just rushed him up the middle and he can't he

can't deal with that pressure and I just don't understand why Sean Peyton like Taysum Hill was electric he was the best player on the field and he I don't know why I guess it's kind of a you have to you have to play Drew Brees you have to keep playing Drew Brees I mean it was it was it stays out there they win that game it was so funny when he gets taken off the field and was a Troy Aikman that was like I don't like any play where Drew Brees is on the field and then Taysum Hill throws a 50-yard bomb yeah Taysum Hill runs for 30 yards and then Drew Brees comes on and fumbles right away it's like what the hell are they doing they have that felt like a winnable game that they kind of lost because Drew Brees didn't have his best game and I agree like Drew Brees is gonna I

don't think he's gonna retire and he's still I'd still take him over half maybe more than half of the league but you like if you watch that game and you're like ew that's he wasn't really mobile he couldn't like that that interception was exactly what I was talking about a month ago where at the end of the half where he tries to throw it deep he can't get enough on it he under throws it and the Vikings go and score to end the half and it changes like basically the entire outcome of the game I don't think that he's he's definitely not what he once was but I still think that he's good enough to get an NFC team to the Super Bowl I think I think this Saints team was good enough to go to the Super Bowl if they I mean you saw like against the 49ers just a few weeks ago there's

still a good offensive team yeah when they need to be Drew Brees I think there's some questions about itself I think he'll be fine next year he's not going to be like MVP level Drew Brees that I've seen before but based on the team they have around him I don't know I still think that he's good enough but then Taysum Hill coming in so he's able to throw like a 50-yard pass because you don't know what he's going to do out there you assume that he might be running the ball because he's like he's not a Swiss Army he's a he's a Leatherman you know those Leatherman tools they're like more durable than a Swiss Army they don't have a wine opener on him so he's a Mormon so he wouldn't need that anyways he's like a hardcore gritty version of a Swiss

Army knife and when you have a guy that can run you over playing quarterback it opens up other things on the field so like when he throws a ball there's like there's still a little bit of novelty to it right so I don't think he could go out there and be a better quarterback than Drew Brees I shouldn't put it all on Drew Brees either because unfortunately to say Mike Zimmer out coached the hell out of Sean Payton had a weird game he had a very weird game some weird play calls in the first half some weird clock management at the end of regulation the whole thing it just felt like he let that game kind of slip away too and again not taking any way the Vikings deserve all the credit in the world I don't think anyone gave him a chance to win that game I sure as hell didn't

I bet against him and and they Kirk Cousins point I don't think Kirk Cousins like was incredible but he made the plays when he had to and their defense stepped up and Dalvin Cook looked 100% healthy and that was that's the Vikings team that everyone watches I like beat up on bad teams you're like this team has so much talent where is it they put it all together on one Sunday afternoon in New Orleans and win a shocker there is a lesson in Kirk Cousins for all of us and that's don't take any assignments that you think you might fail at so he doesn't take many chances he'll crumple up like a little ball and he'll fall down he he throws the ball out of bounds to throw intentional incompletions he doesn't take any chances so he's not really going to light up

the scoreboard against a good defense but he's also not going to fuck things he's not going to kill you as Mike Tomlin would say and and to his credit I've been a guy that has shat down the throat I think we all have Kirk Cousins and I've enjoyed doing it I'll probably continue to but I'll give credit where it's due uh that was a clutch pass that he threw uh you have to feel it it was like a 50 yard bomb and then to Rudolph in the end zone for the last you know what that's where it all turned around for Kirk Cousins this year where he he remembered that he was allowed to throw passes to his tight end yes and that he had a really good tight end yeah because at the start of the season it was like Rudolph was not there he was not existing in the offense and then having that

type of outlet and throwing like probably the least creative touchdown pass the the tight end fade to end the game um but he threw it up where he needs to be and when you have a big player like that fuck yeah throw it up to him so there's one guy out there probably who's got like a half Kirk Cousins Michigan State half Vikings jerseys probably like Dinah or Eden Prairie or somewhere who's never given up on Kirk Cousins today is your day that's it like you there there are there can't be more than 15 people on this earth outside of Kirk Cousins immediate family and I don't even know if I count all them who went into this game like I I've referenced before but I have some close friends from Minnesota they were texting me all game like here comes Kirk he's

gonna fuck it up he's gonna fuck it up because that's what they've grown to expect in big games so to whoever's out there I would like to see the receipts like someone show me a screen grab of all the times you've defended Kirk Cousins his age and thin yeah no because you know there's some psycho on Twitter who will be like Kirk Cousins advanced basically because James one of one yeah James 101 for Kirk Cousins I want to know that person because I will give you a retweet and you're and you deserve your victory lap for winning a big game a playoff game in New Orleans it was a huge game but I mean let's not get carried away Kirk Cousins wasn't incredible oh he's gonna shit down his he's gonna shit down his leg yeah he will eventually and he wasn't he wasn't like great

in this game he made no he made a couple great throws he didn't kill him so he didn't kill them he didn't kill him he didn't kill him so like Tomlin he Kirk didn't kill him and I and I will eat crow I did Dunn chain the Vikings way prematurely this year off of a win off of a win because Kirk Cousins looked like Kirk Cousins and now now he looks like Kirk Cousins I'm not gonna say version 2 point Kirk Cousins version 1.12 is what he looks like right now I'm sure he brought back that you like that he did yeah and everyone it play the hits such a catchy phrase what were you going to say Hank I would be that was a pass interference okay so that moment the Rudolph the fact that they review it is insane we're talking about this during the Eagles Seahawks game

there needs to be a word for the three seconds as a fan that you sit there after a big play a big fourth down doesn't go your way and you're like there's got to be a flag so those that three seconds I you just live in those three seconds that's where like all hope just lives in those three seconds you can bottle it up where where they show it and then maybe the secondary is is celebrating and you're like there has to be a flag there has to be a flag the Saints game ended on that which that was just classic I think that was just no I think that was just classic hand fighting I don't think there was a penalty there but to sit there if you're Saints fan and be like turn those machines back on I want to see a replay would you want this to happen usually it lasts for about like

you said three seconds it's delayed flagrification yes might be a good turn but it's a bargaining stage of grief yes it's where you're like maybe it's not over maybe maybe something's gonna come in and save me for my certain death and in this case it came about 15 seconds after the play like they'd all swarm the field and then the answer was like wait wait a second drew bruises like looking around like a prairie dog on the sidelines like something was happening yep and they were reviewing it they were pushing people off the field it was a great great call because you could you could really see it either way if you were to sit down and explain to me by letter of the law that it was pass interference on Rudolph I would probably be like yeah you might be

right and then if you were to say that's classic hand fighting I could see that point too yeah it was enough where it gave me you know it did it just gave me an extra 10 seconds of football where I thought the game was still going on no it's it's those three seconds if you add them up like I would say every football fan spends a year of their life waiting for a flag if you live to 85 years old you've spent one full year of your life in those three seconds or even it even counts when when a player makes an when the opposing team makes an unbelievable catch you're like there's no way he was in bounds yeah those three seconds are fucking for real it's a drug it is a drug it's because we all grow up thinking that we're all the

protagonist of our own reality we think that we're the star of the show right so the team that we root for that's our team there's no way that the bad guys can win so when it looks like the bad guys win it's like when a movie when Friday night lights ends you're just sitting there in the theater and you're like wait that who's the back that's not that's not really the end right they win they have to win yeah that's that's what you have when you watch your team just ultimately meet their demise and uh yeah I was I was hoping for replay review just so I could extend that game a little longer my own brain damn is it time to have the conversation though of whether or not overtime needs to be changing the playoffs because we always have to have this we always because listen listen the saints

had one of the best quarterbacks in the nfl that didn't get a chance to throw the ball in overtime and also they had drew breeze right and they did not get a chance to play offense and you know what we didn't get a chance to see the vikings defense in overtime and they're really good too both captains called heads too which was surprising yes in both games yes josh alan that was even the latter lateral was crazy but calling heads in overtime was even crazy and yeah I mean that game actually had a couple possessions but this I yeah the saints and of course this is going to make the packers easier because I the saints would have gone to green bay now the seahawks do and they're battered and we'll finish with that game seahawks eagles the basically two teams that are playing

all the backups and then on top of all of it jadeon clowny with the cheapest hit on karson wence concusses him that was it sucks to hear this as an eagles fan if you're an eagles fan listening to this right now but that's exactly how the season was gonna end because everyone else got hurt around him of course karson wence makes it 16 games and then gets a total cheap shot and a concussion that you cannot like there's nothing he can do and of course like dany cannell I think had the hot take that brains are built differently and maybe his brain is soft he's got a weak brain yeah it's a classic case of the weak brain but anyone who's calling karson wence injury prone off of that is fucking bullshit because jadeon clowny assaulted him yeah

I mean assault it was it was definitely assault uh karson wence injury prone I mean you could say that because he has been injured a lot but they're kind of the freak injury you know like when he's jumping through the air he gets hit in his knee while his legs are on the ground edelman wakes up with one of those hits every morning that's what I don't I mean oh wow edelman's got a hard brain yeah he does he's got a hard skull cannell brain so either way we got josh mcown which was thrilling because josh mcown is the most beloved guy in all sports and uh the like the the backups backup he is the quintessential backup quarterback and he actually kind of made some plays well so that I was actually thinking that the eagles were gonna win this game when he

got in because the seahawks when they lose games they always lose the weirdest fucking games of all time and losing a playoff game to josh mcown who is making his first appearance in the playoffs despite having played since what 1994 forever in the nfl uh the fact that they could have lost that game would have fit in so well with seattle's entire mo like they play they just play weird games but they lose weird games more often than not yeah and so I was I was hoping that we were going to get a josh mcown playoff win it would have been nice to get to watch the no-fap video yeah famous for that's right he issues pornography he doesn't do sometimes you wake up in Omaha you think you go to Detroit and you're jerking off on a plane that's I think that was the moral of

the story um yeah I feel like that helps though because if you're not watching porn you have to work on on fantasy no he's out he's pure alpha so you you spend more time visualizing things yeah which helps when you're on a football field and you're doing like spatial visual visualization so Russell Wilson was great uh March on Lynch had not a good game but he had the quintessential beast mode run where he was tackled like six times on the goal line he still got in I think he had six rushes for seven carries or no seven carries for six yards and a touchdown like a two-yard touchdown too right yeah DK Metcalfe was insane I that was also DK like the Eagles were damned if you do damned if you don't because they either blitzed and got pressure or they didn't and

Russell Wilson had a million seconds back you know to throw so like even the last play they brought the pressure and DK Metcalfe was ran by every single every single person yeah and so he's got these inspector gadget arms too when he gets down like towards the end zone where he reaches out he can get another like yard and a half just by extending his arm out there and they keep saying the announcers keep saying like DK Metcalfe has turned into a complete wide receiver well he hasn't really run any other routes no but he's just really fucking good at those routes yes he's got the lateral mobility of a rook in chest but he's still a very effective chest yes he can get straight down field and he's bigger than you he's stronger than you so like he doesn't have to

be able to run like a full route tree to be really good and I think that there's something to what you brought up last week where the fact that the Seahawks are missing all the running backs yes and they're going back to the well they have means that Russell Carroll can't take the ball out of Russell Wilson's hand correct he wants to so very badly yes right shot never wants to establish the run at all times he's going to wake up in cold sweats tonight thinking about uh Saudi hijackers and also about whether or not he can get the ball to his running back yes and and Russell Wilson had nine carries I think every single one of them ended with him doing that slide where he's trying to get a late hit it's so good it was so many of him he slides his head into players knees so ridiculous

and when josh mccount got in the game credit to josh mccount too because it looked like so he's obviously not the best athlete anymore he can still throw the ball pretty well yeah but he was using all the old veteran tricks oh yeah all the vet tricks it was like in rookie of the year you remember when he lost his fastball yes and he had to play all those like mind games with the guys on base mccount was doing like all sorts of hard counts he was doing a little head fakes to try to like pass rushers without having to actually move his feet so I wanted to see I wanted to see him account victory we didn't get it but now we've got Seattle going to Green Bay which weird shit happens weird shit happens we're going to get the ball we're going to score Matt Hasselbeck the

the famous NFC championship game in Seattle yeah when the Packers I mean that was one of my favorite games that was one of my favorite Chicago Bears game in the last decade yeah uh the the replacement refs game yes the the fail mary weird shit happens when those two color schemes get together it's true and the Packers I don't know man the Packers they're looking at all this they're gonna the Vikings are somehow beat the bike era the the 49ers and then the Packers are going to play the Vikings in the NFC championship game and beat him by a hundred so the Packers are going to win ugly next week I think they're going to see Hawks I hope they get blasted by the 49ers uh last thing on the Eagles it's loser talk but if you're an Eagles fan I feel like you

walk away from this season like those guys it's almost perfectly Philadelphia and this obviously helps that you won a Super Bowl a couple years ago but that was the most ragtag group of guys who somehow willed them to the NFC East championship and gets them to you know a home playoff game it almost beats the Seahawks with their fucking backup quarterback and like six backup uh or not even backup practice squad guys as skill positions that's one of those weird games where you're mad your team lost but you're also like proud of how fucking hard they fought all season long they never gave up it was also crazy at the end like I was asking what's going to happen if Josh McCown gets injured who's their emergency quarterback and it was Ward who's also their

emergency wide receiver correct he's just an all emergency guy he's and he's he doesn't have a position he had to do it yeah he's just the brake glass in case of emergency crazy crazy all right let's uh let's do who's back so my C-keek question promo code take put in promo code take you $10 off C-keek purchase hank you can use it for the Super Bowl $10 off oh wait you're not going to Super Bowl this year that really does suck because that is your favorite literally yeah I know I haven't I haven't had like a day off for vacation god knows how long I needed I was looking forward to it in Miami to I know that's Saturday when we all leave and you stay for your party and all your friends come down and you got like mr VIP because what happens is we all leave so so so

all of our invites go to you and you get to go to the parties and then you get to go to the game it's great concert Saturday night and then the concert post game Super Bowl party concert there's nothing better so yeah it's tough okay Hank do you have a backup team the Titans yeah okay yeah all right who who's your who's back also I was thinking about this too like I again just five percent chance Brady leaves if he does leave I would be the biggest whatever team that is fan in the world yes and he would become the most beloved player of all time for if he left because everyone would just root for him because he's not in the Patriots anymore really you think so I think that's not where he went yeah what if he goes to the Cowboys yeah that'd be electric

I can't imagine Tom Brady goes to the Giants he would not go to the Giants that would be the only team the only team no he wouldn't go to the Jets too I'd assume yeah but I wouldn't even care like the Jets is what if he goes to the Dolphins when AFCEs would be tough but still I would still low key be like every time except when we're playing the Patriots it'd be awesome if he goes to the Dolphins and he wins a Super Bowl there and becomes the best Dolphins quarterback of all time oh man how pissed off would Dan Reno be walking around pounding deaths so angry all right who's your who's back I got a few my first one is the bachelor back to it nice unfortunately and this was kind of crazy but uh bachelor season 19 and bachelor paradise contestant uh jade roper won draft kings

fantasy football millionaire contest what good good for him he won it and now he's a bachelor she won it she won it she was a bachelor contestant now it's really sexist of me jade I mean her name is jade I thought the only guys could be the doctor is the mom that's it yeah yeah sorry jade sorry about that little little bachelor football combination which is jade and we're like oh man fuck that guy we're in the fantasy football championship and also award season is back how many dudes who just like have been silently farting in their pants for the last three months we're so mad that a chick won the fantasy extremely extremely all right awards award season's back yes golden globes are on right now Brad Pitt looks hot as shit uh and so I think what's that it's like three weekends in a

row basically all these hollywood liberals can enjoy their award season when we're about to be at war yeah how about that look at these snowflakes up there I thought I thought tropical storm henry was going to dump a lot of snow on the east coast turns out it's on where's this la probably yeah probably los angeles there's a coastal elite what are they what are they what are they doing this in uh in that fucking tinsel town place indy what's that called the hollywood okay is that your all that's it that's it my who's back of the week is the washington capitals oh it is 2020 it is even your bullshit for the capitals they win the stanley cup every year what happens they don't win it this year then i'm sure next year i'm gonna have to figure some other spend

zone to make my brain feel better but uh it's 2020 they went in 2018 they're about to win it again they've got I think they have the best record in hockey right now they just came back from a two gold deficit to tonight to win an overtime against the sharks why don't you francesa the last like seven games for us uh last week so they beat the they beat the hurricanes okay the last one I don't know that I know that they're like 29 and five or something like that great they're fucking awesome it's tom wilson suspended tom wilson's not suspended yet he's not going to get spent because he's just clumsy why are you penalizing a guy for having bad inner ear equilibrium hank i'm not i'm just asking a question yeah it's a fair question it's that he gets to spend

very very fair question okay i'm not going to bring up anything about the patriots so um yeah the capitals are back they're gonna win the stanley cup this year i'm excited about that also who's back is the uh just hornets hornets in general hornets are back single ones single ones especially charlotte if you live in on the west coast in the pacific northwest giant asian hornets have invaded seattle invaded the washington area invaded uh british columbia canada they're i don't think invade without like a motive like they just migrated there no they invaded they're invasive species no they just went there they just went there well no yeah like hanks right they they weren't like hey we got to go take this area over i think they did some asshole you don't know how one it's

operate went to fucking hong kong and brought back like an orange and there was a hornet inside of it and then they fucking came everywhere so they're invaded they're an invasive species that's why they tell you like do you are you bringing back any fruit and they're slaughtering they're slaughtering honey bees yeah so bees are dying at an alarming rate up in washington right now uh so for all you haters that said that hornets weren't dangerous uh hope you don't live on the west coast well you didn't say asian hornet the well the asian hornet you said a single hornet i was implied that it was an asian hornet oh got it got it because they're giant um all right my who's back is crime documentaries on netflix uh hank talked about this last show but don't fuck with cats i watched it on friday night

it is fucked up and we're going to do a review of it on wednesday so watch it well well three hours it's only three hours it's less than the irishman it goes so fast you can watch it on monday night you can watch it on tuesday night you have you have no excuse it's three hours we're going to do a full review because it is fucking insane if you uh yeah like it's one of those documentaries you watch and then you just think about for the next like three days it's funny too but it's also like fucked up it's like this is funny this is real but like there's definitely funny parts similar to the firefest documentary no different way but like one of those documentaries that that gets you talking gets the people buzzing so let me sit down and schedule what three hours two hours

three hours okay so easy i'll do that tomorrow so easy uh my other who's back is old stats that everyone can say wow at because derrick henry uh i don't know if you guys saw but his high school stats were going around on saturday night yeah this is like when uh reggie bush's high school videotape was going around everyone's like holy shit so derrick henry's stats are going around and in high school his senior year it has like all the games there was a game where he had 57 carries for 485 yards and six touchdowns 57 carries he had 57 carries there were four games where he had six touchdowns and another two games where he had five is that not child abuse to give a 17 year old 57 no i think it's child abuse on the other side to run other people

yes yes like the defense that could they be like what are you doing i mean it's too much at some point after about maybe carry 45 or 46 you just stop trying you know you've made your point he had uh he had one game where he had 45 carries for 510 yards and six touchdowns jesus christ the coach i would love to talk to this coach where he just basically was playing a video it was from edwards this game is actually even crazier he had 21 carries for 404 yards and six touchdowns he was averaging 19 yards a carry that's crazy that is insane so the only way that i can think that this those stats exist is on a canadian field where he can get up to like what 120 yards yes on any given carry insane i love it i love i love the old stats so like when people

go down like the berry bonds of the tony gwin rabbit hole or they look up that 2000 miami hurricanes football team or the reggie bush like there's nothing better than be like holy shit this guy was this good oh my god that's i want to know what kind of competition he's playing against him it doesn't probably not great i could see him if he played a the worst team in the nfl he could probably get he ran him 57 times yeah if you gave you can probably get 400 yards yeah if you gave darry canary 57 carries against the ravens next week how many yards do you think he gets uh 57 carries he'd get like 220 yards that's probably good enough to win yes yeah 57 control the clock 57 carries that's how is there even time in a game to do that i don't know that's probably

the craziest part of it is because there's a running clock when you get tackled in bounds obviously so like he just having the time to execute 57 hand he's like army or navy's offense by himself it's insane yeah uh all right let's do let's actually talk to call along so he just retired before we do that you gotta add real quick yeah i want to talk to you guys about peloton you guys love peloton you know i love peloton i got the bike at my house i hop on it on money net football halftime shows i love getting a good exercise on my peloton you've probably heard of it it's a game changing cardio workout from the comfort of your own home now there's a new way to try it for yourself peloton's new 30 day home trial with free pickup and full refund it's a worry free

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with the purchase of a peloton bike and that comes with the 30 day guarantee you can try it out for yourself if you don't like it they offer free pickup full refund it is worry free one peloton.com promo code my take okay uh yeah let's talk to Kyle along so he announced his retirement during the eagles seahawks game and we got him on the phone for a few minutes to talk about what he's going to do in retirement Kyle along okay we now welcome on a very good friend of ours he has announced his retirement not on part of my take which we won't hold that against him but i'm kind of going to hold it against yeah i'll hold it against you but uh it is three time pro bowler bear for life Kyle long first off congratulations on the retirement you must feel great being able

to retire a very rich man at 31 and uh walking away as a bear for life well you know what i can honestly say i am happy knowing that there's there's been things i've done in my career that not a lot of guys can say they've done but at the end of the day like anybody else who plays in the NFL father time finds a way to catch up to your ass and uh you know it's been so much fun playing in chicago so many opportunities i've had so many great folks like yourself that i've been able to get to know um and i was talking to a i was talking to another old lineman from the nfc north last week and we were actually talking about this decision that i made today and he said you know if somebody told you come into my office i got a great deal for you and you walk into the office and the guy

says i'm going to hand you a million dollars but i get to kick in the nuts every time he said at which point would you say i have been kicked in the nuts enough times and i have enough millions to walk away and that's kind of the situation that every nfl player gets into and it's an amazing analogy that my buddy said and i won't say his name because you know it's tj laying david back to your other's ass yeah what'd you say tj laying back to your it was tj yeah 100 tj laying that was the first thing i thought of when you're like another nfc north lineman cool guy tj laying you know you get kicked in the nuts enough you're gonna want to stop getting kicked in the nuts no matter how much they're paying yeah yeah and you know i hate to say that playing in the nfl is like getting kicked in

the nuts because it's not i had a lot of fun so many opportunities like i said and you know now i'm on vacation bro and i'm gonna get a tan like drake said you know i got that that long hair and that that uh what did you say that salt is still in my air and shit man i don't listen to drake i don't have a vacation bro drake said my hair smells like a vacation i don't have hair so i'm gonna find a way to get my boobs as well i think okay there you go he also said yeah imagine if i never met the broskis and you've made a lot of friends along the way so it sounds like so many broskis so many broskis yeah actually this is uh perfect because i wanted to bring this broski up because it's topical uh your former teammate josh mccount came in relief today in philadelphia i i joked that

i joked that he is literally like the perfect backup because half of the league considers him his best friend uh because he's that good of a guy do you have any josh mccount's stories from uh when he took over in relief for jay cutler in that year you know it's it's it's hard looking back because it's so far away but i do remember a few games the cowboys game uh monday night football where we blew out the cowboys it was like negative 85 degrees and there's 40 miles an hour wind uh you know we ran the ball well that day he had the the ball to alshon in the back right of the end zone i think to finish the half he was under pressure uh i believe uh you know there were games we didn't have any chance of being in and josh mccount gave us a chance and now we've seen that

with other teams in the NFL it's really cool man i mean for a guy that was coaching a jv football team eight years ago to come to our team on the bears and say hey man i'm josh i was just you know i was drawing up some hail marries last week for the high school now i'm here to throw that's crazy yes and he did it and we saw tonight uh credit to him then credit to josh did you ever play basketball with him because i saw some highlights of him playing and the guy is deadly on the court yeah he's got hops he's got those kind of bunnies that uh you know it's a it's the rogue wave so to speak the white guy that can jump out of the gym and uh that's kind of how he was i know cutler was kind of similar in his skill set but i think mccount might have a little bit

more bunnies yeah so um about the timing of your retirement here what what was the process like because you you tweeted out that you were retiring in the second half of the eagle seahawks game i feel like there could have been a time that you could have tweeted out to get more buzz going get more people talking about you well you know what it's funny i figured when uh so i started vacation yesterday i went i spoke to ryan pace and matt nagin i told him look thank you for everything and you know it's it's a not you it's me type of deal you know like any classic uh relationship and i'm on vacation now so i'm chilling and i guess it was happy hour i showed up at the right time and i don't know what the beers are called down here services services man yeah that's a great

retirement that's a great just being like all right you know what uh let's just do it now let's just tweet it now um i saw also your tweet with it you finally got your pads after years and years of asking for them how does that work i i just always assumed that you would get to keep your equipment but you never did until your last day at house hall and you're like hey can i actually get this stuff well as a guy whose dad played i grew up around a lot of a cool equipment at the house that was you know it's all antique it's like an antique show at our house and it's all football stuff and as i went through my career one thing my dad always said is make sure you save your helmet make sure you save your pad make sure you save your cleats because you'll have kids one day and

they're gonna want to see this stuff or you know it'll be important to you and Tony medlin never let me have my stuff but i mean that was his job and when he finally realized that i was serious and i was it's time to go home for the big fella he said you know take your stuff man get on out of here it is how yeah how did elie get so many pairs of pads and helmets then if you can't even get one until you retire that's weird to me i think it's funny you know the super bowl ring probably has something to do with it yeah yeah i'd say that's fair my my biggest question about your retirement because every lineman who retires they lose a drastic amount of weight would you consider maybe gaining like 300 pounds and making a story out of that last year for the eagles game

in the wild card house 352 this year right now i'm 281 wow you should get to like all right so if you're already on the path to getting skinny you should try to get like 190 and then because then but pants yeah jared from subway charger center is my he is my uh he's really my fit inspo okay okay but he's also tatted so he looks way cooler but you get you get like the everyone will just you'll get all that buzz like did you see how much weight kyle long lost and you can just take pictures everyone be like oh my god that's crazy so yeah you should get to like 190 be like an actual skinny guy because after the viral video that went out i had a few teammates the viral video what viral video football game which one are you talking about okay so the video comes out my my pp is on the

internet and all my friends said kyle kyle you know what you gotta do now dog and i said what's that and they're like sex taste yeah yep yo seriously though if you lose like another 80 pounds your pp is gonna look a lot bigger like at least a two inch yeah it's all about the proportion that's actually really good advice yeah just have one leak hey i gotta i gotta sit down for some rice and beans right now but you guys have an awesome night have a great weekend or a great week yeah every day is the weekend now i guess fuck uh well have a great week yeah and congrats kyle honestly i i tell the story anyone ever asked or like who's the coolest you know pro athlete that you you know have come across hung out with it's always kyle long to me because you started in

chicago right when you know barstow chicago was starting so we had we kind of were coming up at the same time i'm not going to say that you're kind of a coward for walking away while i'm still in the prime of my career but you can just take that for whatever it's worth well i have some job opportunities now so if you'd like to hit me up yes actually we would love to have you twitch for us is that where you think we'll catch up we'll catch up with you guys and obviously i'll be uh i'll be nice and saucy this whole week so there you go yeah enjoy retirement kyle bear for life thank you thank a few imperiales all right see ya all right wrap it up the show we're gonna get the soggy sorrows in a minute it's can't miss hank are you ready for it are you mad already you're mad

uh before we finish we have to do a quick jason gearrett update so jason gearrett is officially finally fired we think i think he's fired so as reported by jay glazer so i trust what jay has to say he's been fired after basically being cucked out of his job for the last couple weeks i wouldn't be surprised if jason gearrett was actually helping jerry jones to interview his own replacements well jay glazer had a report and this is the saddest thing i've ever read he said that uh talking about jason gearrett never seen anything like it because jason gearrett they've gone through it now a couple times this week to say okay you're out as your our head coach he says hold on hold on don't do it yet i still want to be considered for this and every time they do it so they said we're moving on

we're starting to interview other people friday night they interviewed marvin lewis they first wanted just defensive head coaches yesterday interviewed mike mccarthy that went so well i'm told mike mccarthy is actually still there spent an extra day in dallas then they're looking at mike zimmer if he was out after this game in minnesota but again they still have to tell jason gearrett know you're gone we're moving on never seen anything like it jesus jesus that's insane so also i saw a report i think ian rap report tweeted out that uh jason gearrett has allowed them to fire him at this point so with with jason gearrett's permission jerald jones has fired him incredible it's it's been a crazy crazy coaching marvin did you say

marvin lewis marvin lewis did i see am i making this up or did they bring marvin lewis in and marvin said that he wanted hugh jackson as his offensive coordinator i yeah i'm sure they all they're always i think it's a package they're always hands to and if you're jerry jones and you want to get rid of the stink of eight and eight with a totally inanimate sideline coach yes marvin lewis change your pace yeah he's an electric factory you basically get to keep having jason gearrett around because you love him so much this is Hank this is like when when you got fired and you just kept on showing up yeah like you just got a job you just you kept your job you're like no i'm just gonna keep coming i was a little a little less high profile yeah but but like you

were fired this is a long time ago this is not part of my take days is what like seven years ago and then you just kept count coming to the office and jason gearrett you should let jerry jones my boss was on vacation though so it's like when he came back he's like wait you're still here whatever just stick around so you jason gearrett the only thing jason gearrett can be faulted is is jerry jones hasn't taken a vacation yeah if jerry jones takes a vacation jason gearrett might keep this thing so jerry jones if you remember when he took over the cowboys he fired tom landry by locking him out of his own office basically like he that was that was old testament jerry jones now we've got new testament who's like soft and and cushy incredible and i i tweeted

this out but i i'm actually kind of serious about it i wouldn't be shocked if jason gearrett was allowed to reapply yeah for his old job after he's been fired he puts on a mustache and what just like maybe dyes his hair black and he's like hey guys they'll just let him come in through the front door they're like listen we're going to give everyone a clean slate here jason so you're going to apply just like mike microthi is if i like your plan i'll hire you and then they'll hire jason gearrett as their new head coach replacing old jason gearrett it's insane i guess i gotta give credit to the cowboys because well and jason gearrett well jason gearrett but in a weird way jerry jones is is doing the thing where he's staying relevant throughout the playoffs so tomorrow people will

be talking about the patriots first maybe the saint second but the cowboys will be third oh what about you think what i'm thinking what shan peyton oh shan peyton just lost today it's true he's been linked he's got family in dallas maybe he goes and watches his kids football games shan peyton doesn't want to make a decision on drew breeze yeah let's take some hill of taste no goes goes with him like al pechino and willy beamon damn and any given sunday damn also josh brick daniels will probably interview him too that's true linkin riley matt rule there are a lot of names that we can keep saying texas yeah although he did spit on himself i'm sure jerry's fine with that jerry jerry jerry drools on himself all the time no he's not i don't think he fits the star

you're done he doesn't fit the star okay um all right let's finish up with some soggy sorrows hank you ready we're gonna go we're gonna change location and hank is going to do the soggiest of sorrows there can't be soggy or sorrow than the end of a dynasty sorry sorry double dinosaur in a double the second act of the patriot's dynasty are you ready for this yep all right here we go let's do it okay we're gonna finish up the show we're in the bathroom at barstool headquarters we're gonna do soggy sorrows hank how you feeling i feel like it's about to get cold it's gonna i didn't know you like to get wet come on hank people love misery what the biggest show we've ever had at part of my take is mike florio is the guest but it really was the double doink

so this is you're competing for there's a lot of podcasts well no hank is the number one boston sports podcast uh we go on the the sports bro the sports dude sports dude hank the sports dude sports dude about to do uh soggy sorrows because he's so upset about his patriot's losing their dynasty do you think you should do it with me pft because of do your pod no i shouldn't do that's a good question all right ready so uh here we go ready do you like do you want it cold or hot hot it's gonna be cold though it's gonna be so cold do you think tom brady's done no he's coming back wait no you gotta get sadder dude no no get sad you can't is this the end of the dynasty how many more superbows in the next three i want you to read i want you to read are you

sad yet oh okay turn off turn off okay all right are you sad how does it really feel like honestly talk i'm gonna say again if you don't start honk you gotta say i just called them honk hank you better talk what do you want me to say i want you to talk sorry the season's over i'm sorry that i have to come back for a sunday super bowl i was looking forward to just chilling in miami that saturday there's probably gonna be a lot of cool events i had to be in fucking miserable my uh minnesota the last two years so it's gonna be cool to be in miami and now it's over hank how are you gonna feel if you don't win another super bowl as long as you're live i'll feel lucky for the six that we've been given it's been a great run ever since i was 11 years old

tom brady has probably joined i'll always be forever thankful for that all right hank last question last question talk us through legitimately the last the last second happens the pick six happens the game's over what do you think it can't be the super bowl every year it's just i'm they hate the water again fuck that i want you sad i want you sad it's let's say everyone wednesday all right bye guys i love you guys love you guys so Take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take

me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, take me, I don't know what I'm doing here, but I'm just trying to get to the bottom of it. I don't know what I'm doing here, but I'm just trying to get to the bottom of it. I don't know what I'm doing here, but I'm just trying to get to the bottom of it. I don't know what I'm doing here, but I'm just trying to get to the bottom of it. I don't know what I'm doing here, but I'm just trying to get to the bottom of it. I don't know what I'm doing here.