Pardon My Take - Zach Harper + Heisman Trophy Winner Ricky Williams Reads Our Horoscopes

Episode Date: May 14, 2018

Lebron got smoked by the Celtics but he has a photographic memory so it's all good (2:20 - 8:44). Hockey talk and the Caps are an absolute wagon (8:44 - 12:10). Shout out all the moms and all the Instagram/Twitter posts shouting out all the moms on Mothers Day (12:10 - 13:05). Who's Back of the Week including Brooklyn 99, PFT keeping his promises, and Big Cat triggering himself with his own troll website MJvsLebron.net (13:05 - 24:56). Zach Harper (@TalkHoops) joins the show to talk about the NBA playoffs, what can the Cavs do to adjust, and what will the Western Conference Finals look like (24:56 - 42:03). Former Heisman Trophy Winner Ricky Williams joins the show to read us our horoscopes and tell us if we should buy BitCoin (42:03 - 57:02). Segments include PR 101 for Jordan Spieth and Webb Simpson, Talking Soccer Big Cat's soccer team got relegated. Hmmm Kawhi went to a Dodgers game. Well that Makes Sense Dwyane Casey was fired by the Raptors and Hank Hot In The Streets You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's part in my take, we have the Celtics taking care of the Cavs, Game 1. The Capitals are an absolute wagon in the Eastern Conference Finals. We also have Tall Coops, Zach Harper on to talk about the NBA playoffs, and Ricky Williams, Heisman Trophy winner, one of the best college football players of all time. He comes on the show to read our horoscopes because he's a big horoscope guy.

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Bye! Now in the street there is violence, and then a lot of stuff, work to be done, no place to hang out or wash in, and then again, leave all on the sun, oh no, we're gonna run down to electric avenue, and then we're taking higher, oh, we're gonna run down to electric avenue. It's part of my take presented by Stool Spons, welcome to part of my take, presented by Seek Geek. Today is Monday, May 14th, and LeBron has a great memory.

He does. Did you see that? Yes. He remembered the play. Yeah. It was a 30 second span of the game, my favorite part of that whole thing was the reporter's clapping form. Yes.

It was a magic trick. It was a master class, and LeBron somehow making his terrible game one performance and an absolute throttling by the Celtics, Be Forgotten Quickly, and do you notice too, he was actually being kind of a dick to the reporter, because the reporter was like, what happened here, and then he just was like, well, I'm LeBron, and here's my photogenic memory. It was a photographic memory. Yeah.

Photographic. It was a classic like Belichick answer. You asked me the question. I'm going to tell, I'm going to literally, I'm a robot, so I'll just answer precisely what you said. So LeBron remembers. He does remember. So I, yeah, I think past LeBron owes future LeBron a big apology for not showing up.

So here's my question to the floor. Do you think LeBron is playing a possum, or do you think the Celtics are truly a problem for the Cavs? I think it's a problem. I think because, I mean, everybody's saying, okay, LeBron's going to just snap back into LeBron. Which he's done in the previous two series, mind you. But Brad Stevens, the mad scientist, looks like he's just completely out matching the

Cavs. The Cavs suck. Right. Besides LeBron. But the Cavs do lose game once. LeBron likes to lose game once. He likes to like play rope and open, feel him out. His worst games have been game ones, and then he shows up and he's like, oh yeah, I'm LeBron.

I think the Celtics are obviously, and this isn't really a hot take, the most problematic team for them in the Eastern Conference because of Brad Stevens, because of the guys they have in the court. But I just can't, I can't like overreact to one game. I just can't. Well, neither did LeBron, because they asked him if he was concerned, and he said, I have zero level of concern. I never went to college.

There you go. This isn't March Madness. Yeah. So LeBron didn't learn how to be nervous. No. In college. Yeah. He skipped that.

That's in your Gen Ed class. Yeah. It was just anxiety 101, and he didn't take that. So LeBron really was a dick in this press conference. He's like, yeah, it's not single elimination. Thanks. One thing I think people aren't talking about enough is that he makes the Cavs wear suits, matching suits in every game.

Yeah. Like business trip, dude. There's no way that JR Smith and the other guys want to wear suits to games. Yeah. JR Smith doesn't want to wear clothes. This is part of, this is just part of being part of like LeBron's team. You have to do what he wants at all times. Right.

I think that's part of the reason though. They're not going to be serious. Oh, okay. The suits. Yeah. Okay. LeBron also, I mean, we don't need to get in the whole MJ LeBron thing. We have a website for it, mjvslebron.net.

Go check it out. He doesn't really try on defense much anymore. No. He just kind of floats. He just like hangs out. And I think there is that, that he is going to flip the switch whenever he wants. But LeBron, at least game one and you know. I'm not going to talk about the panic button yet, but what I am willing to do is put the

Celtics clearly in the don't look now category. Oh yeah. I'm saying even if you're the Warriors, the Celtics are don't look now. Right. They are like, Hey, are they just going to keep winning? Yeah. This is kind of weird. The Celtics aren't winning.

They're just, they just haven't lost a game in a while. Yeah. And now you actually, I think if the Celtics keep winning, you have to ask yourself, will Kyrie screw up the chemistry? Mm-hmm. Yeah. They're a better team without Kyrie and God and Haywood. Yeah.

Everyone keeps saying, well, they'll have two of their best, their two best players back next year. Well, do you really want that? No, you don't. You get rid of it. You dump those salaries. Yeah. You're going to try to reduce the cost of a 10-year contract.

I talked myself earlier into the Rockets upsetting the Warriors in seven and then the Celtics being the Rockets. Yeah. Okay. So that's not going to happen. I'm ready for a Banner 18. So here's the thing with LeBron. He shot probably as poorly as he's ever going to shoot when he was like over three from

three points. He was really, really bad at shooting. The whole team shot terribly. Right. But even if LeBron has a game where he, you know, he shoots like 60%, he just absolutely nails it. That's still not going to make up the difference. Well, and like Hank said, he kind of, he makes him wear suits.

I think it also, when LeBron is not playing great, I think the rest of the team's like, okay, well, we're going to suck too. Yeah, we're fucked. When we already suck, but we're just not even going to try to be good. Yeah. They definitely don't, there's no next man up in Cleveland. There's one guy and he's either up or down. So you mentioned the Western Conference finals.

It finally starts. We are, this is the series that is billed as the NBA championship and I'm excited for James Harden to submit a James Harden full on series. He is going to suck in this series. That's my prediction. I hope so. He's going to have at least two or three games. He'd be like, is James Harden?

Is he drunk? I hope so because like there's nothing better than fulfilling a stereotype in your head that you already have. So I really, really hope, I hope he comes out game one and he gets off to a bad start because they don't call those fouls where he jumps into people. And then that throws him out of his game. He's like, well, we're not playing my weird game where the rules I invented are. You know, like, I think, I hope he sucks.

I hope the wind gets taken out of sales very, very quickly and then never recovers. The fun part about being a sports fan is just assuming, you know, like the, you put a stereotype on a guy and you just keep going with it. Like the best times were when Peyton wasn't clutch or when A-Rod wasn't clutch, when LeBron was couldn't win the big one. It was like, those were fun because you're like, every year you're like, this is going to happen again. It's going to be really funny.

So James Harden, right, it's like, like he's like under some weird drug during the middle of the Western Conference finals or a big playoff series. That's something we need to hold on to. Right. It's like when Big Ben slips on the walking boot for the first time every year. It's like, okay, we were right about this. We need this. It's happening again.

Right. We can, we can rely. Like sports are the one thing you can rely on a few things happening over and over every year. Like Duke's year. It's going to be Duke's year next year. Again. I am, I'm very much looking forward to a potential Brad Stevens, Steve Kerr matchup in the finals

just because like that is the whitest combination of coaches. Oh yeah. Steve Kerr looks like, Brad Stevens looks like he's Steve Kerr's assistant principal. Mm-hmm. Yeah. They, they definitely have faculty meetings every morning. Yeah. And they just sit around.

They have lukewarm coffee. Plain bagels and plain cream cheese. Yeah. But there's not enough for both of them. Who's, who's working the crosswalk today? Oh, that's your, it's your week, Steve. Yeah. Okay.

So you go out there and make sure that it's single file when the parents are coming to pick up the kids. And Steve's like, you know what? I'm kind of a fun kind of coach. I'm just going to let Javail coach this one. Yeah. You know what? I'm going to let the kids out 15 minutes early today.

But not really. They just have to sit there silently. All right. So in hockey, the Washington Capitals have now become like the most dominant team ever. Some may say because PFT actually went through with his bet. Yeah. Many are saying that. Yeah.

Many are saying it. But a lot of people, everyone's talking about it. Everyone's saying how great it was that I did that. I'm not saying it. Full on shit pump. Yes. The first two games. I'm telling you, this capital's team is playing better than any Washington capital's

team than I've ever seen with the exception of like every Washington capital's team between the month of October and February. You turned to me during the game tonight and you're like, this series has been a lot of fun. Like a lot of fun hockey. I was like, you think that has anything to do with the fact that capitals have been just dominating? Yeah.

Like, yeah, I guess. Like probably hasn't been fun for lightning fans. Well, so for the longest, like Greg, shout out, you fucking loser. Yeah. Fuck you, third leg, Greg. For the longest time, like we always talk about how the capital is running to a hot goalie in the playoffs. And it's just because they just shoot shots from the blue line and it's weird that this

guy keeps easily saving all the shots, even though we had to shoot him. Like this, like the capitals this year, they're playing like the penguins have in the past. They're actually like, all the shots go in. They're stringing together a couple passes every now and again, instead of just like crossing the line and ripping one. And they score like 10 seconds in every game. It's amazing. It's like they start up one, nothing.

It is. Every single game. It is so amazing. So Mike Florio, my internet dad, he pointed out to me, it could be problematic because the caps have a two, nothing lead in the series. But as we've discussed, we rebranded that. It's Dosa Cera. Yeah.

Because die hard caps fans, all of us like, we're not worried. This has been, I gotta say, you know, this is our first year Hank Bubba and I being die hard caps fans because we have 15 to one ticket in Vegas. You were, you've been a little over dramatic talking about how the caps stink every year. I know. Like that's not even, I don't know. This has been the easiest playoff in my life. I look back on it and I'm like, you know what, I really oversold how it cursed the stretch

of hands. Baby, just wait for Obi to score big goals. It's fucking easy. Yeah. It's so easy. You shut up about that, Hank. I hear you shut the door on him. I hear you shut the door on him.

Every time, every time Obi needs to score a goal, he does. Yeah. I don't know why. I don't know why people talk so much shit about him. Hope he's just fucking, he's a brick wall man. He can't get by. The whole beast. Yeah.

The whole beast. I have backstrom either and we're doing this. Yeah. Yeah. Without backstrom. Yeah. And Tommy Wilson was out for a couple of games. Yeah.

Free Willy. He's back. I'm actually looking, I'm so far looking in advance right now that I'm, I looked at plane tickets to Winnipeg. I didn't even think that they had an airport there. I thought it was just like a dog sled. They do. Takes you up there.

They do have an airport. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, yeah. You just go west. Yeah. How far west is Winnipeg?

It's the Minnesota of Canada. Okay. So they're super nice. Got it. They're incredibly nice. They're above Minnesota? Yes. North Pole.

Okay. They think they're better than Minnesota. They are blending each other. Yeah. So I, yeah. I've already checked out plane tickets out there. Hotel rooms. They probably just do a thing where it's like to always stay with her.

Yeah. Just have a friendly meal and a hot cat now. You could stay at the mayor's house. Yeah. Whenever you want. Whenever you just show up. All right. And then before we get to who's back, a little shout out to the mothers.

All the mothers out there. Mother's Day Sunday. Everyone posted on Twitter and Instagram where their mother probably doesn't see anything saying how great their mother was. Everyone's got the best mother. I also want to remind everyone of Danny Trevathian's awesome tweet linebacker for the Bears two years ago when he said, happy birthday to all the mothers out there. So he thought Mother's Day was every mother's birthday.

Every mom's birthday. I kind of like that. Yeah. I think the boardals like the Thanksgiving is the same day every year. I love that. I think that we should just rename Mother's Day. We should rename it after Joanie Ryan because she had to give birth and then raise the Ryan twins.

True. Those units were a handful. Baseball also has. She's the best mom of the whole time. Yeah. Baseball has also gotten out of control with the pink stuff. Yeah. It's no longer like for mom.

It's just how cool can I look like just bedazzling all my shit in pink. Mm-hmm. Like the catchers are just out of control. Yeah. I like it, but it's just out of control. Do you think that Father's Day presents are bought further in advance than Mother's Day presents? Because everyone gets to Mother's Day and they're like, oh shit, there's two days left.

Yeah, there's another one. And they do it last minute. And then like the Monday pops around and you're like, I'm not going to wait until the last minute for my dad. Yeah. So I'm going to buy him like a golf. A tie. Yeah, he needs another tie at some point.

Here's something that you have to wear to work every day. Yeah. Yeah. I want to tell you that all your dreams have been crushed. By me. And you work for a boss that you hate and wear a tie every day. Yeah. Happy Father's Day.

Yeah. Thanks for slaving away for 50 years. Thanks for your kids could have a good life. Yeah. Thanks for driving me to my soccer games that you didn't care about. Yeah. And just sat in the stands and watched me commit hand bowls repeatedly. Yes.

All right. Let's do who's back. It's a big time Tiger Woods who's back. Tiger Woods, very back. Ooh, did you hear that Tiger Woods hates water? No. So yeah, they were talking about how much he hates hitting the ball into the water. Oh.

And so I thought that was a pretty good strategy. It's very good. But then like the next hole he hit into the water. Yeah. Well, TBC Sawgrass got to watch out for 17. That's right. Every golf fan knows that. Was it 65% of the world is covered by water?

Mm-hmm. So it's actually, it's remarkable when a player doesn't hit the ball into the water. True. Good point. All right. Hank, go for it. I was back the week. I got a few Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

Oh. Oh. Brooklyn Nine-Nine is back. Oh, sorry. I'm so sorry, PFT. Yeah. That's okay. Thank you for apologizing.

You're welcome. Brooklyn Nine-Nine is back. They got canceled by Fox. And then apparently their fans freaked out, had a big public outcry, and they got picked up by NBC for another season. That's so great how a show got canceled and their fans cared about it so much that they forced it to come back. That would a great group of fans that is.

Yeah. Maybe. Wait, so they went from Fox to NBC? Mm-hmm. That's kind of cool. Libs. Yeah. All right.

But they still have two more episodes on Fox. I don't know, I don't know how that works. It's like how Peter King is still, he's writing his column at Sports Illustrated until he decides to move to NBC. Yeah. Wait, so enough people just cried on Twitter? Yes. So you can get it done?

Yes. Yes, it can be done. There are a bunch of people who are like, okay, well, we can get Trump to resign soon if we just keep crying enough. Yeah. This is a bad precedent to set. If you just cry enough on Twitter, something will happen. Shit.

Frozen food is also back. So a lot of people bash us millennials and say, oh, we're only good for avocados and things of that nature. But it turns out that millennials are saving the frozen food industry. Oh, shout out millennials. Shout out Devour. Yeah. Exactly.

Okay. Frozen food is back. Frozen food are just like vegetable, frozen vegetables. Are we talking like microwave meals? Just frozen food. Frozen food. Just say millennials are using freezers more often. Yes.

And microwaves. Which then kills the environment. You know what the worst is? When you move into a apartment that doesn't have a microwave and you buy a shitload of frozen food and then you try to figure, well, if I hold a lighter up to it for seven hours, it's just a frost. Put it in the oven. Yeah.

I'm going to tell you, I'll leave the pizza on the sun for a while and it'll cook. This tweet says, Nielsen estimates annual U.S. sales of frozen food at $53 billion. Hashtag millennials drive hashtag market share. Wow. That's it. So we finally are getting credit for one thing that we're seeing. We've killed everything else. We've killed Applebee's.

We've killed Hooters. We've killed Fun. We've killed TV. Babies. Yeah. Babies. Real estate. Everything.

But frozen food. We brought that back. We got that unlocked. The last one was just Boston Dynamics. They have a robot that they're going to put on sale. So now we're really fucked. How much? I don't know.

We got to buy one. Yeah, absolutely. That'll be our intern. We have to buy one. Yes. Our intern robot dog. Oh, shit. Yeah.

Smarter than Billy. That's it. Bark into the mic, robot dog. Yeah. My first who's back of the week is Future Me. Okay. My first who's back because Future Me cashed a check that past me wrote with the poop eating. Mm-hmm.

And we addressed it a little bit earlier, but I just want to give pass. I want to be LeBron and give credit to Past Me for making Future Me follow through on a plan. That's big. So shout out. Shout out to me. Current you. Well, I'm giving credit to Past Me for this.

Yeah, but current you's big. That's big of you of current you. It's big of me to give credit to former me. I agree. Which is actually past you when people are listening to this. Yeah. Okay. So shout out to myself.

All dimensions of myself. Mm-hmm. My second who's back of the week is Brooklyn Nine-Nine, but Hank took that from me. It's a good one though. It's a really good one. And then my last who's back of the week is Dad's. Yeah. Because, well, you know, it's after Mother's Day and also Nike dropped a new colorway of

the air monarch. Ooh. That's huge. That's off white. It's like taupe. Okay. It's taupe and gray. Nice.

A little bit of green, but not too much where people are going to think you're in a gang or anything. Okay. Got it. Maybe like a little, like the, is it, is it, uh, just got finished mowing the lawn green? Yes. Yes.

That's perfect. Yeah. No, so it blends in nicely. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's really nice. It's pre-stained for all you dads out there. Yeah.

That's actually very smart. All right. My who's back. I got a few as well. I'm shocked, shocked that this was not already discussed because apparently, uh, we have a fraud in amongst us because lacrosse is back elite eight. Did you know where you're not going to mention the elite eight Hank? The elite eights.

A lot of elite eights happening. A lot of really. Yeah. Right now. Currently. Yes. Do you know who's in the elite eight? Oh, wait, wait, wait.

You and C. Okay. John Hopkins. No, John Hopkins. Yes. Yes. Yes. Eric Hughes.

Virginia. Nope. Denver. Yeah. Denver. Well, no, no. Take that back. Denver's a wagon.

I said it. You're not a lacrosse fan anymore. What are you talking about? I, you didn't even know the elite eight was happening. Yes, I did. It was huge right now. Those are, those are all schools that's huge, that probably 90% of this podcast and our listenership could never get into.

How many, how many viewers do you think lacrosse gets by just hungover people who can't find the remote and it's like ESPNU, uh, all it's live sports. No, it's been, it's like that, uh, Saturday morning Purdue, Minnesota game that you wake up to on your couch, bowling in the off season. Yeah. Right. Exactly. Yeah.

You're just like, all right. Well, I forgot to change it because Sunday countdown's over. Yeah. I'll watch this. It's the most exciting sport in two feet. Yeah. No, it's not. It's not.

So exciting. You didn't even know what was going on. Is this I did? It's the fastest sport on two feet. I thought there was a twist. I thought there was some type of twist. Oh, okay. Yeah, sure.

Twist is you didn't watch lacrosse and I did. You actually watched it? The second who's back is everyone thinking they're a lawyer cause crime dramas are back. Evil genius is the big one on Netflix. We're not going to do any spoilers because I actually haven't even finished it, but I think that this is also our next big idea. We need to do a crime drama because essentially all you have to do is, uh, interview a couple like FBI or ATF guys and then mix in a shitload of drone shots of where, around where it happened.

Like making a murder or that it was just half drone shots. Evil genius. Half drone shots. The drone shots of this are awesome because it's just like it's, uh, it's suburban Pennsylvania. And so every drone shot is like a strip mall and then like a small like clump of trees. Right. Exactly. It's like really setting the stage for, we did do a crime drama.

Did we, we did a serial. We did do a serial, but we need to do a video one. We should do a long. It's just, yeah, it's just a bunch of drone shots. Just somebody who's like a hundred percent guilty and we'll just get people to believe that they're not guilty and, and brainwash them into getting that person a person. Yes. Uh, I also, it's a little, have you watched evil genius?

Yeah. Have you started? Yeah. Have you started? Yeah. Yeah. I saw the first two. A little troubling how, uh, how much the people in it are hoarders because I'm looking

like every single house they show and it's disgusting. They have like hazmat suits. I'm like, that looks like my pile. It looks exactly like my pile. I think there's probably, uh, I was going to say less feces in your pile, but there's probably given your recent track record. I have an equal amount of feces. Yeah.

I have a, I have the makings of a murderer just, just by my hoarding tendencies. Oh, so what happened to Larry too? Hmm. Actually you killed it. The death told us. I was out of town. True. That's true.

That's true. Uh, and then my last one is- And we'll do a crime drama on that. Yeah. My last one is Trigcat. So, uh, Triggered, Big Cat is back and in a stunning plot twist, the person who triggered him is myself. So on Friday, we debuted MJ versus LeBron.net.

I woke up and I ran the simulations and LeBron won like eight straight in a row for me. And I immediately got furious and texted Milmore and told him he had to change the algorithm so that, uh, MJ won 70% of the time. So I, uh, I triggered myself. I made a fake website to troll people and I ended up trolling myself the most. Trollception. Yeah. Uh, did you see KO?

Keith Overman weighed in on this debate? Yes. He did like a 10 minute long, like he, he really thought this out, got deep into the analytics, MJ versus LeBron debated in classic, like Rick Riley fashion, like three years a little bit too late. Um, but then he kind of flipped it and he was like, is this the greatest sports debate of all time? So now, now the debate has become, is this the greatest sports?

Is this debate the greatest, the goat sports debate of all time? It's, it's so perfect because these debates, you can, you can try all you want to laugh at it and mock it, but at the end of the day, like why this show works is we mock a lot of things, but at the end of the day, we're mocking kind of ourselves because it like when you boil it all down, I'm still just a meatball dumb sports fan. So if you jokingly start debating MJ versus LeBron with me, I'll be like, haha, that's funny. Like we'll joke and then eventually I'll just get really, really angry and you're like,

it's Jordan. It's like, what the fuck are you talking about? How can you not see this? And then I realized that like, oh shit, I gotta take a step back here. Cool down. This is, I mean, I did that with Titus when we were at the Indy 500. We joked about it and then we ended up debating it drunk for like three hours straight. Yeah.

Well, let's embrace debate on this. What would be the other goat debate? Joe Flacco Elite. Joe Flacco Elite is the only one that came to my mind that can even rival this. How'd the goat become the goat? That's also a good debate. Which came first? The chicken on the goat.

That's a good debate. Um, I guess, I mean, Peyton versus Brady kind of fizzled out. Mm-hmm. Yeah, Peyton clearly won. Um, right Hank? No. Oh, actually no. The easy answer is, uh, it could Alabama beat an NFL team.

Yeah. That's it. That's what our, um, is Yukon women's basketball, bad for women's college basketball. Ooh. Or, uh, if we want to do a little talk in soccer, we're not on messy. Mm. Okay. Ken Ismehor.

Yeah. It's actually kind of Steph versus LeBron, if you've ever done that, you know? Mm-hmm. Same thing. Yeah. Being the same thing. All right. Uh, let's get to our interviews.

We have Ricky Williams and the backstory here. We're going to interview Ricky Williams for real at some point, but the backstory here is Ricky Williams recently had a, uh, a little press. He got in the media because he reads horoscopes. He's big into astrological, is it astrological, astronomical, astrological science, bro. Astrological sciences and his horoscope told him to buy Bitcoin at a very cheap price. And now he's very, very rich. I think he's just, I mean, he's just high, but we should, that's, do we even have to

put that disclaimer for him? No, he enjoys cannabis. Yeah. That's it. We were talking about it after the interview. Yeah. You can tell somebody that is just high all the time because they just refer to his cannabis. So we are, so we talked to Ricky after him, we said, you know, we want to do a real interview

when we, when we see him out in LA at some point, but we had to get him on to read our horoscopes because his story broke that he's big into horoscopes. And I just want to say, I respect the hell out of Ricky for doing the Uranus thing. Yeah. He knows. He went out of his way. He knows. That's a true scientist to say Uranus.

Listen, I do very little interview prep for most interviews and the only thing I had for Ricky was just like, get him to talk about Uranus and then make a joke about buttholes. And he fucking spun it right on us. Yeah. He knows. He knows. All right. Before we get to both these interviews, Devour, Hank said it, microwave meals are back

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Here he is. Zach Harper. All right. We now welcome on recurring guest Zach Harper. He writes about the NBA. You can find him at Talk Hoops. He also podcasts. You can check it out.

What's the podcast at Count the Dings and that's the network right back to back pod back to back podcast is the podcast. Okay. We'll bleep all that out. So leave all that out. You can follow him on Twitter and he tweets every 30 seconds at Talk Hoops. Wow. He's really mean.

He wasn't mean. He's prolific. Zach, I'm sorry for that. Well, being on right now, no, being on right now, I now have to tweet more to get that average back. Yeah. True. True.

All right. So let's talk about the conference finals. The big story going into Monday morning is the Celtics shit pumped the calves and my question to you is what the hell do the calves do to counter what seems like a lot of matchup problems that aren't going to go away? Well, the calves team sucks, but they've been terrible all season late. It's not anything new. Like they've every, they've had like four different versions of this, of this team throughout

one season and they've all sucked. So what they can do is just have LeBron save them. Like that's really the only thing is like LeBron plays great, more shots fall for them. They don't go like four of 26 and three, they play a little bit better defense and then that puts pressure on the Celtics and maybe the Celtics fold. Okay. Also, I think just going to game two is going to help LeBron because LeBron the best, worst first game player of all time.

He might be. I think he's like, I think 16 times in his career, he's lost game one and they've won like nine of those series. So maybe winning game one is actually a bad idea for him. Oh, good point. So the thing that strikes me is like, when you look at you, I mean, you said it, the calves stink, but the Celtics are really good. I know that we talk about, you know, the, the two guys that are out Kyrie and Gordon

Hayward, but the guys that are on the court, like Jason Tatum is not playing like a rookie anymore. Like we don't, he's just not a rookie anymore and Al Horford has been playing great and like all these guys and Terry Rogier and like their defense is unbelievable and they just make shot. It's like, I don't know where it kind of came from because everyone kind of counted them out with their two best guys out, but you look at them and they play really, really good basketball.

They do. It's very spurs like right where they can just kind of plug anybody into the mix and that guy knows the role and knows how to execute and, and they just make it work. I mean, Jaylen Brown is fantastic. Like for a second year guy, like he's so good on both ends of the floor. You mentioned Tatum who's been excellent. Everyone kind of forgets about Al Horford, but Al Horford's like a five time all-star and like an all-defensive guy.

Like he's really, really good. It's just in the past, he's always been destroyed by the calves and destroyed by Tristan Thompson, but Tristan Thompson doesn't exist anymore. So he doesn't have to worry about that. He just go out and be Al Horford, exactly Kardashian could go out there, play a good basketball and, and they just play so well. And like the biggest mismatch of the series is, is Brad Stevens versus Ty Lue. Like Taran Lue is a terrible coach.

He's the worst coach to ever win a championship and, and the fact that he's got to match Brad Stevens, like that, that sucks for the, so what kind of adjustments can he even make? Well he doesn't. Yeah. I mean, he doesn't make adjustments. Right. But in his mind, he's going to have to mix something up, which my theory is he's going to do something really, really dumb for game two and it's going to backfire on him completely.

Yeah. Like maybe bring LeBron off the bench, right? Yeah. We really need that. We got to win that second unit. We should do that. Um, he had, he claimed to have this like secret defense for the Warriors last year that never really seemed to come out.

So maybe spring that on the Celtics because I feel like the Warriors are a better team than the Celtics. So if you spring on the Celtics, Celtics have that chance. I love it. The secret defense. He's got the guys like working on a gyro ball. Yeah. I like the Cavs defense is so funny me because it's basically a pickup defense half the time

where they, um, like if they, if they, like they'll switch and one of them will forget to switch and then they'll do that thing where they're like fake close out to make it look like they were trying, like kind of take a couple of steps to the guy and put their hand up and like yell woo. And then like, but the guy's totally open. It's like, well, you guys aren't even trying on defense right now. Yeah. You know that thing like when you're in it, when the car is waiting to turn and you're

walking and across walking, you give that like fake hustle, that fake job that doesn't actually go anywhere. Like that's their entire defensive team. It's just, oh yeah, I'm going to get out of the way quicker. Yeah. It's never actually go anywhere. Yeah. You run, you run like you move your arms really fast.

So it looks like you're trying really hard. Right. Well, your legs are still going to exact same. Um, is it perfect? Is it time that we start having the discussion of is Marcus Morris, a LeBron stopper. I mean, he was, I think LeBron had like five points on six shots against market force today. Yeah.

So it seems like you got a stop. I like this series because it really is a series for like dumb people. It's basically the Celtics are better than the calves, but LeBron's better than everyone else. So if LeBron wants to be better than everyone else, the calves will win. Right. Yeah. No one's picking the calves in the series.

Everyone's picking LeBron. Right. Like they like make no, yeah, no one thinks the calves can win the series. We're just like, Oh, well LeBron's good enough. He'll make it work. Yeah. He'll figure something out. He'll drop, he'll drop a triple double with 50 points like four street games.

Right. Exactly. And then, and then the, the Celtics will, we'll go back to like Terry Rosier won't be able to hit a shot anymore. And Jason Tatum will look like a rookie and Al Horford will, you know, be with the Kardashian or something. Everything's going to fall apart. So what's your prediction?

Even though we've had game one, do you think this goes seven games? I think I had calves in six before. I'll stick with that because one that who cares. And two, I do think LeBron will find a way to solve a lot of the problem that he had in game one. And that puts a lot of pressure on the Celtics. They like the Celtics had such an easy game today because everything went their way, nothing went the calves way.

LeBron didn't show up and that's the end. It became just almost a practice for them and for most of that game. And so I think that once that changes, you know, we'll see a little bit more pressure on Boston and maybe they won't respond as well. But I, but I'm also just picking LeBron because it's been right. The past like six, seven years now, that's what you do until you get to beat them, you know, to stick with it, but the counterpoint to that, uh, the series doesn't start until the road team wins a game.

So this is another game one that's coming up. So LeBron's not going to play well in game two, because it's actually game one. That, and that's tough, right? And then, and then game, game three, unless the Celtics win, that's, that's also the series hadn't started, right? That's true. It's a lot of game one. So, so you're saying it might be a sweep.

Yeah. So it might be, it might be, it might be. It's seven games sleep. All right. So let's go to the West. The, uh, Rockets and the Warriors, the series that everyone wants to see the series that everyone's calling the NBA title, um, the, but I just can't, I, I can't get my head around it.

I do not think the Rockets will be able to beat the Warriors. Tell me, tell me why I'm wrong or tell me, you know, give me like a little bit of, Hey, you should watch it because Chris Paul might just tear up, you know, Steph Curry and James Harden might be the most efficient player in the game or something like that. Oh man. Well, I don't really think the Rockets can win either. So I got to lie here.

It's a bummer. Yeah. So it's the Warriors again. Here's why, here's why, here's why. There are going to be points where Javail McGee is defending Chris Paul or James Harden. And it's going to be hilarious. Yes.

Literally anything could happen. Like Javail could injure them for the rest of the season. He could injure himself. He could fall into Steph Curry. He could end up like, he'll always look like Bambi on ice. You know, like it's got, it's going to look something like that. So because of those, you know, 15 possessions a game, anything could happen.

Yeah. That's, I mean, that's actually, okay, that's good. What, the key to the series to you, uh, I, I'm going to throw out a name. You can tell me if I'm just being an idiot, but I think Clint Cappella, because he's like that extra dimension that could actually guard, um, you know, stop, stop these guys attacking the rim and stop, you know, basically everything. And also he does really well with the pick and roll with, with Chris Paul and

James Harden and then going to the, going to the hoop for lobs. That's my, that's my X factor. I'm put, I'm marketing my X factor for the Rockets. I agree with you. I think, I think you're, I think you're dead on here. I think Clint Cappella is a huge X factor because of the defense. Offensively, he does make that kind of a difficult decision for the, for the defender and a pick and roll because you know, you, you have to protect against

that law, but then you're also going against Chris Paul and James Harden. So that's a, it's a really tough decision, but really the defense, if he can stop them from attacking the basket, then Houston can defend the three point line a lot better and there'll be times where he's, he's trying to, you know, defend Kevin Durant. If he can stay with him, that's a huge boost for them, but then you have to think at some point, Draymond Green is going to kick into the balls. Right.

And then what, and then how does he respond to that? Yup. That's what it's the Draymond Green and Javale McGee factor that I'm really excited about with this series. Now, when, uh, when the Warriors were playing the Pelicans, the last series, they, they, you know, beat them pretty badly. I think it was, was it four one, it was a gentleman sweep. Um, but that one game New Orleans looked really good and Golden state looked

really bad. What could Houston pick up from how the Pelicans played them in that one game? Well, there is always, so there are two things that kind of factor into this is one, I don't think the Warriors respect the Rockets yet. Like I really, I really don't, I don't think it's as severe as it was earlier in the season, but like earlier in the season, they had some game in January where James Harden didn't even play. The Rockets had like a double digit lead in the third or fourth quarter and

ended up losing that game. And the Warriors basically came out of the same, Oh, these guys aren't ready. And that's what out James hard. Like without the MVP and they still were, they still had that attitude, which is crazy disrespectful to me. But because of that, like I do think there's a tipping point where the Warriors could find themselves in trouble because they don't take the Rockets that seriously as a true contender.

Um, but because of that, like, I just, I don't know. Like I think there's always that one screw up game that the Warriors have where they just turn the ball over 20 times. They don't shoot well. Another team does shoot well. That happened against the Pelicans. That'll happen against the Rockets at least once. So I think the Rockets will definitely have a game, but unless, unless Houston

manages to, to just, you know, play really good defense and not allow three point shooting to be matched. Um, I just, I don't see how they have enough defenders for everything the Warriors have. The crazy thing about the Warriors is even when they do have those games where you can almost tell instantly like, Oh, Clay missed the wide open three. But then half the time they'll be like, Oh, then Clay scored 25 points in the second quarter and it's like, they just, they, they can look bad for five minutes.

I'm like, Oh, but it actually doesn't matter. There's still one by 20. The, um, the other storyline that I'm interested about this series and it's a little theory I got here because if you watch James Harden in the jazz series, the last two games, he looked a little sluggish. He looked a little game six James Harden. I think, I think it's just a, uh, biological clock for him every year. When you get like to mid, you know, early mid, uh, May, he's just like, I

should be on a yacht drinking wine right now. Circadian rhythms. Yeah. I shouldn't be out here playing basketball and his body just starts to slow down until it breaks down. So that's going to happen in this series. I think that's a good deal. I mean, I really think in game five against jazz, they, they went to him and

said like, Hey, elimination game tonight. He went, Oh crap. And then he went and shot seven for 22. I realized like, he was on the good end of that, right? Of that elimination game. Like you think there's something there where I think the warriors just every time just whisper like elimination game. And it's like, you know, it's kind of like a trigger for him to, to really

just fall into that place. And then it thought Chris Paul to win everything. Is it all, yeah, that's right. I suck at these. Now I remember. Did you see the, did you see the quote that was going around Twitter? Like Chris Paul texting James Harden and being like, Hey, do you see that play?

That was amazing. And James Harden texting him back to me and like, yo, I'm out right now, dude. It like, it just sums up their relationship perfectly. Yeah. I feel like if Zach Lowe and I were, were teammates, that's how it would go. Like he would be the Chris Paul there. And he's like, Hey, you know, you get your article done. I'm like, no, I'm out right now.

Why would I do that? Yeah, come on. Yeah, exactly. Um, please tell me that Joe Prunty has a future as a head coach in the NBA. Oh, I hope so. I mean, I, I, you know, I'm with you on this. Joe Prunty said he was, he was spectacular. And I don't want to, you know, I don't want to rip Brad Stevens.

Brad Stevens has been great, but we can't talk about how amazing he is when it took him seven games to beat Joe Prunty. Right? Good point. Joe's nipping at his heels. Good point. Yeah. It's tiny little heels.

Point flip away from, from the fucks being up one nothing in the series. Um, all right. Last question, the C-keek question you put in promo code take you get $10 off your C-keek purchase, use it, go to a basketball game, go to a baseball game, whatever you want, C-keek take and you get $10 off. Kawhi Leonard will be playing for fill in the blank. LeBron James will be playing for fill in the blank. Paul George will be playing for fill in the blank in 2018, 19 go.

Philadelphia, Philadelphia, Lakers. Ooh. Oh, wow. So you're believing this whole like Philadelphia, Philadelphia is going for the best players, novel cons. They like to have LeBron James in the best offender. Yeah. Yeah.

We need it. We need to report that they wanted a two time defensive player of the year and an NBA finals MVP and, and then, you know, maybe the best player of all time. So you think that's actually a much better process than like waiting seven years and sucking the entire time and then waiting two years for your injured rookies to pan out. Like just go get the best players. Why don't they do that in the past?

Right. And they should have gotten LeBron James back in 2014. Like, I don't know what Sam Hinky was doing. If you could get LeBron this year, why couldn't you get LeBron back then? Yeah. What, what is it going to take to get Kauai though? You think, I mean, it's obviously Foltz and a pick and who? Sarge?

I mean, this, this is, this would, yeah. I mean, it probably would be a haul like that. I mean, this is, you know, you, you're not going to get this done because he and LeBron are close, but I trade Ben Simmons for Kauai. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah. Interesting.

Philadelphia, Philadelphia won't like that because Ben Simmons is amazing until he faces the Celtics in the playoff, but it's like he, like. If you're giving me Joellen B for the next 10 years, LeBron for like three or four, Kauai Leonard for like seven or eight, you can win three or four titles during that time. Plus you still can fill in the gaps elsewhere on the roster. So I would take that over the hope that Ben Simmons and Joellen B become champion someday.

Would you be concerned at all with Kauai Leonard with, with his injury history? I don't know if it's in his head or if it's in his leg or if it's in his groin, wherever his injury is, would you be concerned with giving a guy like that, like a huge, huge deal? No, I didn't know I wouldn't be concerned. He's, he's, you know, I guess it just ends up being like, he's the best basketball player, even though it doesn't quite mean that, but I think he's the best two way player in the world.

Like no, no one's better on offense and defense than him in that combination. So that makes him like a top five player in the world. And, and I would assume that he's going to get back to that rather than, you know, these nine games he played this year screwing him up. See, I would never trade Ben Simmons because as a GM, you want to hold onto as much upside as possible. And at any point Ben Simmons could learn how to shoot a basketball. But, but you, you can combine, you know, I don't want to, I don't want to, you

know, kind of diminish what Mackie Delvedova has meant for this league. But you really need Ben Simmons. If you have TJ McConnell, like he's a really the grittiest guy at this point. I call him TJ, my columns because there's so many takes out there about him now. Yeah. Oh man. All right, Zach, thank you very much. We appreciate it.

Uh, you can check them out at talk hoops. Hopefully we'll see you when we're out in LA. We just say that to everyone. Like, yeah, we never, we're never going to get to California. We'll come in and I'll tell you, we'll see you. I'm just going to, I'm just going to look for the van and I'll follow you. We'll just be sucking traffic on the five the entire time. So yeah, yeah, I'll just wait for you on the freeway.

Just circle around LAX. We'll be there soon. All right. I'll, I'll, I'm on my way. Thanks man. Before we get to Ricky Williams and our horoscopes, I wanted to talk to you guys about Felix gray glasses, Felix gray computer glasses are the stylish way to protect your eyes from blue light and screen glare, whether you're your work or

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basically found the way to all the wealth and happiness we want by reading signs. Is that right? Uh, sort of, I agree. So we've, uh, we've given Ricky our birth information, our date of birth, time of birth, location of birth. And are you going to read our chart? Is that what you're going to do? Well, I mean, when I read charts, it takes two and a half hours, but I'll

definitely talk about your chart. Yeah. I have a, I have the close notes version. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. So I just want to check the birth time because the kind of, the kind of astrology that I do, the birth time being, um, precise are extremely

important. Okay. So for big cat, when I see two AM, I'm typically suspicious because it's rare that got it. Exactly. Yeah. So it's, so I, I, I texted my mother is one, one 45 in the morning. Okay.

Perfect. So I need to make an adjustment because with big cat's chart, it makes a difference the time. Wait. Okay. Hold on. I actually lied about the one 45. Let me call it right now.

Okay. Actually, I should probably, I mean, you put me on the spot there. Like, I didn't know what the fuck to do. Hold on one sec. Yeah. I, I, I, it happens often. There's a zero percent chance my mom picks up. Yeah.

And it's, and I was interesting. You guys are born so close to each other. Oh yeah. I know it's weird, right? Fucked up. What does that make him the alpha in this relationship? Because he was, he's a day older than me. How does that work?

Are we, are we twins? What's interesting is what changes most of the only planet that changes. Um, that can change really within a day is the moon. And so, um, both your charts are very, are somewhat similar, except the moon is in a different place. Big cat gets its period today before I do. Exactly. Exactly.

Oh, honestly, so if, if I, if I had to, um, quantify the difference, it would be that big cat is, is it going to be more, um, how shall I say heavier? Um, heavier. That would work. That would work. Yeah, that makes sense. I'd say more grounded. Oh, okay.

Also. Oh, okay. Practical, more practical. All right. Do, do PFT first. I'm trying to get the exact time for, for my birth time. So, um, and when I do a mini reading, I basically talk about three symbols. I talk about the sun and that's what everyone knows pretty much.

You open up a magazine and you flip to your sun sign. Right. So you know that you're in a queries, right? What you don't know is you're also a Gemini, which means your moon is in a sun Gemini. Okay. Um, when Gemini is archetype of the, of the messenger, you know, and, and so for you, a lot of, a big theme in your life is going to be finding your voice.

Yeah. Oh, a messenger or a storyteller, it needs to be able to find their voice. You need to be able to speak. And so moon in the third house and Gemini communication is a very important part of your life. That's so me. I have a dumb question. I'm sorry to interrupt, um, but just, I'm trying to picture this.

Um, Jim and I is the one that's the six and the nine next to each other. Right. Yeah. Oh, no, that's nice. That's cancer. Gemini is the one that looks like Roman, Roman numeral too. Oh, okay. So just two people laying, spooning.

Okay. Got it. Yeah. I mean, it's typically represented twins, but yeah, that's doing nice guys. Love twins. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

So perfect. All right. Sorry to interrupt. So to give you a brief summation here, you have your son is an Aquarius, so that, that makes you the rebel, right? That's the other side, the rebel, the genius person that exists in tension with their collective, right? The weirdos are, this is Aquarius people that, that march to the beat of a

different drum, right? So you're, you're an Aquarius, which means you're here to break some rules and, and, uh, show people what's really there. Yeah. Bad boy. A whistle, a whistleblower. Yeah. Oh, narc.

Fuck that. Not a narc. Well, no, no, not that kind of whistleblower. And the narc, that the genius, the one, the revolutionary, the people that to show people that there's a different way to do it. Oh, like Baker Mayfield when he was at Oklahoma, he goes, he, he, and everybody goes, he, he, and he's like the Pied Piper. Exactly.

Okay. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. You got, definitely got some of that. Um, and you have a, again, you have the heart of the, of the storyteller, uh, or the, the messenger, and you wear the mask of a mystic. So, um, this, this mystic energy is strong in you. So I would say if I was looking at your chart, I would, I would say you're

someone, um, that probably liked altered states, meaning, um, whether it's meditation or drinking or, or altered state to the right, getting high. Exactly. Yeah. Two out of those three. Yeah. Exactly. So, so that's that.

And so how do we put this together? Um, the other thing is in this kind of astrology, we actually talk about past lies out there, but, uh, but it's interesting. So for you, uh, if I looked at, you know, what, what you experienced in a past life, it was really quite horrific. Um, and it honestly being raised by wolves, something like that, you know, or you could think of something like, uh, surviving the Holocaust or not surviving the Holocaust, you know, but, but what would, so what it means is that you

were born with this mood, with the serious mood and, uh, and ease, ease with going to the dark side, you know, because if you think of someone in the past life who, who went through something really horrific, they have, they have some ease with it. They, they, they became used to it. They became accustomed to it. And so what that would mean in this life is you would show it someone who's, who's very much a hard worker and, and doesn't have a problem, um, with self

denial or discipline or focus. If there's something that really needs to be accomplished and it's almost like the more intense or difficult it is, um, the better, the better you'll, you'll do it. Um, could you make the argument that, that pretty much anybody born before television kind of had to deal with a lot of adversity. So, so yeah, like that's, that's what I can tap back into. Okay.

Not necessarily because it was what people were used to. And so it wasn't necessarily adverse, but now if you, you know, you, you grounded it from TV, you know, you take them on TV or their own, or their phone away, take away their avocados, these millennials, yeah, exactly. And they're, they're going to freak out. It's going to be a traumatic experience for them. So yeah, so, so what I'd say about you is what you're, what you're learning, you know, a key theme in your life and what you're learning to do is, is to calm

down, to relax and to enjoy yourself. Because again, in the past, you had to deal with something that was so difficult, you didn't really have the time or the ability to, to relax, to calm down or to enjoy yourself. There was so much difficulty and so much intensity. So the theme of your life, yeah, yeah, the theme of your life is, is really about, um, calming down, having a good time and, uh, and following your heart, you know, making, making crazy choices that other people might not understand.

I like that. So, so in a past life, I suffered so much that I pretty much have carte blanche to just kind of kick back. Like I'm, I'm, I've earned my stripes. Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly. Yeah.

That's what I'd say. Okay. Okay. So, uh, my mom just texts me back. She said it was between one and two in the morning. So she doesn't have the exact time. Some mom, huh? Doesn't know the exact time I was born.

Um, but I think we'd say like 120. 120. Yeah. Let's try that. Let's try 120. They're putting the calculator. Yeah. Well, I have a, I have a computer program.

Hell yeah. You know, on the olden days, on the olden days when people did the, um, took like two hours to draw up a chart. Um, but luckily we have modern technology and so. Well, yeah, as somebody that suffered hardships in the past, I'm just going to clock out and leave you here with big cat. I need to go relax and close my eyes for a little bit. Well, well, what's interesting is, is a lot of, a lot of what I say.

Um, GPSP is going to apply to big cat because you guys were born so close together. Okay. So you can skip the, skip the parts of overlap. Just give me my, give me my unique set of skills. Should I buy Bitcoin? Should you buy Bitcoin? I would say for big cat, I'd say for sure do it. Yup.

For PFC, I would say not a good idea for you right now. A little gambler and they say the gambler and me. I like it. Well, all right. So what else do you see on my sign? So for you again, you're, you're a rebel, right? In your rebellious, your rebelliousness is going to come out through your speech. Right.

You have a son in the third house, which is about communication. You have a big mouth. You know, is what your chart says. Um, and you're not afraid to, you're not afraid to speak your mind. So for you again, you have Aquarius, your moon is in the sign of Taurus. Taurus is about, uh, like I said, it's about resources, but it's about simplicity. It's about calming down. It's about the need for safety and security.

So a moon and Taurus, um, to be happy, you know, they have to have basic, simple things, good food, good water, um, things, right? And when Taurus is going well, they're nice to be around because they value comfort, right? When it gets out of whack, it's because people overvalue comfort and they start to pay too much for, for comfort. And so the advice I'd give to you is, is, cause there's going to be some, some conflict here because on one hand, your moon, your heart, your emotional

nature requires simplicity and requires, requires comfort and things to stay the same, but your son is, is in Aquarius and it has this rebelliousness, you know, this need to shake things up. And so, you know, one of the challenges in your life is going to be finding the balance between the part of yourself that needs to shake things up and be different and the part of yourself that needs to keep everything the same. Okay. So you, you have a Scorpio rising, right?

Which means the mask he wears is a mask of the, I call Scorpio the shadow keeper. Scorpio is a part of the step that wants to get to the bottom of things. And that wants to tell the truth. And it's not afraid to tell the truth, you know, but the thing that tends to happen with Scorpio rising people is when we're growing up as kids, we don't know like what we're supposed to say and what we're not supposed to say. It's something that we learned from, you know, bad, like evil looks from our pairs or from spankings or from rejection from people around us.

And so my, my guess is big cat, you know, as you were a young kid, you probably said some things or did some things that probably scared your parents and the message that you and the message that you got was you're not supposed to do that. You're not supposed to say that. And so what happens with Scorpio rising is they tend to go internal and they tend to keep the things that they see inside because they've learned that if they share them, they, you know, it can get them in trouble.

Mm hmm. Okay. Um, and, and last question, uh, about my chart, do you see any kind of like success in, uh, gambling coming up or anything like that? I do. I, I do. Yes. Oh, thank God, Ricky.

Thank you. I need it. I'm cold right now. So I need something. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, from what I, from what I can tell, it's, it's not a horrible time. It's not a horrible time.

I mean, the reason I say it is because, um, like what I talked about is the chart that you were born with, but astrologers can also see what's going on right now. So the past couple of years, I'm guessing we're, we're kind of difficult and rough where you learn some stuff about yourself, you know, and now you're at a time where you can take the stuff that you've learned through the diff, through those difficult times and, and you can shine with it. It's time to reach, it's time to take risks.

It's time to, to test your, your, uh, your intuition, your luck. Love it. It's time to test your luck. The funny part about this is, uh, we're recording this on Friday and there are no more NBA games until like late Sunday night. So he's guaranteeing that you don't lose no baseball, baby, baseball. Um, Ricky, so I mean, this is all cool. We, we appreciate it.

Our view, uh, we'd love to have you do it. We'd love to get with you in person, do the two and a half hour thing. If you, uh, if you're ever in New York or if we're ever in Austin. Yeah, I'm, I mean, I live in LA, but yeah. Oh, you're in LA. Okay. Well, we're going to be in LA. All right.

We'll be in LA in a few months. We'll set something up. Yeah. I'll be here. Cool. Awesome. Uh, do you want to plug your brand real quick? Yeah.

So it's RW real wellness and, uh, it's really coming together of different passions for me, uh, a passion as a healer, my passion as a, as an herbalist and my passion as someone who really enjoyed cannabis. And so I've taken my, my herbal studies and setting different, uh, herbal, herbal remedies, combining them with cannabis and creating product to help people enjoy their lives more. All right. We'll go check it out.

Yeah. Go check it out. And Ricky, we will hit you up, uh, when we do our West coast swing later on the summer. Yeah, I'll be here. Okay. Thanks, man. Appreciate it.

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That's ZipRecruiter.com slash PMT Zip Recruiter, the smartest way to hire. All right, let's get to some segments. First up, we have PR 101 for Jordan Spieth, who had a snowman on the last hole three putted like from two feet out, went from 17th to 41st. A lot of money lost. How much money? I always love that stat. When they're like, oh, this putt was worth two hundred thousand dollars. Yeah, it was probably worth like three hundred thousand dollars.

Thoughts and prayers to Jordan Spieth. He's might not bounce back. That sucks for me. That's also not great for my under armor stock. Spinzone or PR 101, you can just take off your hat and people will be like, oh, shit, you're bald. Yeah, it's the bald guy. Yeah. So no one will remember that you did the snowman thing.

That's good. He should just actually, since he was so bad at shooting today, he should just call himself Lebron Spieth. How many boobs? How many boobs for that one? Like one, less than one. We have less than one point to fewer than one, fewer than one. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, that's my fourth nipple of report.

Don't correct his grammar because your joke sucked. OK, please don't do that. But by the way, Web Simpson. Talk about boring. Like if golf, if golf wants to grow the game, Web Simpson won the players. He's the Brad Stevens of the PGA Tour. Yeah. Wow. Web, Web Simpson.

I keep saying wet systems from cool boarders. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. They kept showing his swing and being like, he's just got a really weird swing, like a really boring, weird swing. Like he doesn't move his feet at all or his legs. He just like turns his upper body. I also thought he'd be fatter. I don't know why.

Your name is Web. Web Simpson seems like you should be a little fatter than what he was. You little, it bothered me. Web should be an overweight visor guy. Yeah. Right. He should be kind of like a sloppier Bubba Watson. Yeah. He should be Phil Mickelson circa, like Thanksgiving of 2006. Phil Mickelson back when he was illegally trading stocks.

Yes. That's the Web Simpson wean. When he was eating high on the hog. Yeah. Right. Like, so come on, golf. I'm red every night. Yeah. If you're going to give us Web Simpson, at least at least make him the stereotype we put in our brain beforehand, our preconceived notions. Also, Web, I don't want to do like all of your PR work for you.

But if your name's Web, you got to have like a spider design on your shirt. Right. Well, if your name's Web, why the fuck are you on the PGA tour? Why aren't you on the Web.com tour? That's also a great point. Be worse at golf, Web. Drop one of those BZ. Yeah, it would be a lot better if you were just a little bit worse. For me to like fit you into my little compartment of golf watching.

Yeah, exactly. Thank you to the viewers. Web Simpson. Web, the best part about Web Simpson, I'm sure he's just like a golf advertiser's wet, you know, wet dream. Like, all right, we got this guy who is completely unremarkable and he looks like every guy who golfs on Saturday. Every white dude in the entire world is named Web Simpson.

Let's slap some Cleveland golf apparel on him. And maybe maybe we can sell some insurance on his visor. Right. It's like that, dude. Beef. What's it? What's beef's last name? I forget. Oh, Brady. Well, you beef Johnson. Yeah, beef is the guy that like you want to have a beer with. Yeah.

And so sponsors are like a little bit wary of that. Yeah, too much. But Web is the guy that, you know, would want to have a beer with you. Yeah, Web. So it's like, yeah, pay that man the money. Yeah, Web would. Web would buy your first round of Miclobe Ultras. Yeah, Web would seem to be like super excited.

Oh, hey, buddy, it's been a long time. We're only going to have one. We're only going to have one, though. Drink responsibly here, guys. We're going to have one and then we're and then I'm going to sit and wait 30 minutes before I can drive my car. Yeah, here's my wife with probably six children because every golfer that wins has nine blonde children on their arms.

Yeah. And they live in an Orlando suburb, a clear, clear lake, Florida. All right. We have a, hmm, this is for Kawhi going to a Dodgers game over the weekend. So Kawhi Leonard, who could not attend a single Spurs game, the team he plays for season ends and now he's attending Dodgers games. Interesting. Huh, very interesting.

Huh. Well, he's well enough to sit next to the Corpse of Tommy Lasorda. Or did he think he was going to be accused of a murder and wanted to get on TV at a Dodgers game as an alibi? Yeah, good point. If you don't know that story, check it out. There's an episode of Kirby enthusiasm that got a dude exonerated from murder. Yeah, we should.

Dodgers game. We should make that an effort for crime drama. Just a bunch of aerial shots and drone shots. We'll have a what's his name? The Cleveland pitcher. Yeah. Manning the drone. Yeah, Trevor Bauer.

Trevor Bauer. Trevor Bauer is our director of photography for a crime drama. Absolutely. I also have another, hmm, Vladimir Putin. So it was a 65th birthday the other day. How many goals did he score? Five. He scored seven last year.

Oh, I was actually, I didn't know that he played in a game. I was just assuming he was on. He always does. But is he is he is Vlad Putin now 65 years old over the hill? It sounds like it. Not a prolific goal scorer anymore. Five goals. He's become more of a facilitator.

Yeah. More of a he's only like he's only manning line guy. He's only managing the assassination of journalists. Five. Five goals is pretty shitty for, I mean, come on. I mean, and he's playing against the best competition, mind you. The bear, right? No, he's playing against the top KHL goalies.

And they're they're trying their hardest at all times. Isn't Putin a little guy? Isn't he like Ty Domey size? Five, seven. You're getting into some deep water here, my friend. OK, I'm going to back out tall. You know, it is strong. It's all scores goals.

It's all those Super Bowl rings. He's got his fingers weighing about. Yeah, yeah. He doesn't have the wrist test. That's dirty that he used to. Exactly. All right, we have a talking soccer, talking soccer. The English Football League championship is actually the hottest

league in all of sports. What is what is that? It's the championship league. Let me ask you guys a question. Would you rather play in the EPL, the Premier League or the championship league? Like, don't you play to win a championship? What's the difference between the leagues? Well, one has a championship and the other like they don't even have a playoff.

It's just like prestige. Yeah, you get to be there. Right. The other one, you actually get a title and you get like millions and billions of dollars and you make money on your investment. And the other you're just like playing at like two o'clock on a Tuesday outside of a pub in England, but it's the championship league. So Big Cat's bringing this up because the team that he owns, along with

Landon Donovan, recurring guest, the Swans got relegated. The Swansy Swans got relegated. So that sucks. But now I'm going to take Swansy's man card. Yeah. So it's one thing to get relegated. But if you're going to get relegated, do it like that German team did and burn down your entire stadium.

Yeah. So that actually was very nice of Hamburger to get relegated for the first time ever and take away all the relegation buzz away from Swansy. Nobody's talking about it. No, we're good. We're good. You can always count on the Germans to overreact a little bit. Yeah, just a little.

They bring a lot of fireworks. And yeah, I don't know if you can discuss on the podcast, but if you guys had like an email chain with the other owners talking about what you guys are going to do from here. I've I think I've been like blackballed. I've got two suggestions because I'm I'm I think there I think I'm going to be the fall guy. I think they're going to be like, you got to get up and give the press

conference to be like, I fucked up. I resigned. I would actually be great. I'm actually going to say that if the Swans ownership, like the actual owners want me to do that, I will happily do like a big cat out like we're getting rid of the the fat Americans times of change. Swansy is going to be great again by getting rid of me. Dude, being a fall guy is very lucrative as a job.

Yeah, I would assume I get a bag of cash, right? Yes, absolutely. Any organization that wants a fall guy, just let us know and we'll show up and take full responsibility for everything. I'll do the rick patina. I'll just apologize, but say I did nothing wrong. She's like, well, I'm going to I'll apologize, but I still don't know what I did wrong.

And also, did you know that that facility over there was named after 9 11? Remember that? Oh, yeah, that's right. I'd love to invoke 9 11 and all is non-apology. Apologies. Great, great point. Yeah, just do it in a law firm. That's where you look super, super innocent about everything.

No one ever thinks you're you're guilty of anything when you do it in your high priced Manhattan law firm. I have two suggestions for you. Um, number one, uh, I would say, well, did you about the Israeli soccer team? They changed their name to Trump. Oh, just to like getting Trump's good graces because like, you know, he can pull some strings or whatever. Do it.

The I'm sure that whales will be fine being called the whales, Trump's. And then he'll pull some strings, get you elevated to the top. Maybe we'll get a table. Yeah, maybe we'll get a golf course, uh, that he can build on like some ancient burial site. Actually, they'll, they'll just change. They'll turn the entire stadium into a new golf course for it. Perfect.

And then my second suggestion is just higher Maradona. Yeah. I don't know, like as a coach or as a player, even cause it's soccer like Piazza soccer doesn't have enough fat people. True. So are just totally rebrand and be, you have to be over, um, how many, how many pounds in a stone? It's kilograms.

Yeah. I'm trying to think kilograms. You have to be over 250 pounds to be on the soccer team. No, it's not. No, it's the year, how much is the pound again? It's like a dollar and 50 cents. Yeah. Yeah, you have to be over $700 to play on this team.

Okay. And then you can call yourself the whales, whales. Yeah. There's also another whales team that went up, but that's okay. Cause the championship league is where everyone wants, like that's the hottest place to be right now. Which would you rather do? Dominate the championship league or like be on the edge of relegation every year.

Dominate the champion. Can't you actually get kicked out if you do bad in this league? Oh yeah, you can go all the way. You can get kicked all the way out to just never playing soccer again. They just kill you. Yeah. They, they throw you on a boat and ship you to Greenland. Uh-huh.

So it could, no, actually, no, they just put you on an MLS team. That's, that's what happens after you get kicked out of every league. Since we're now, uh, is this possible for our breakers team? Cause I'm, I'm kind of worried about. No, no, no, no, no, no. The breakers, we were in the championship this year. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

We're not going to get relegated. Yeah. Well, no, I probably, I probably get us relegated. At some point, I'm, I feel like I have that stink on me now. Well, the relegation guy, you just put a horse with a full stomach in front of me. I'll take care of all the curses for you. Um, all right. We have, uh, uh, second to last, well, that makes sense for Dwayne

Casey, getting fired by the Raptors. That, I mean, that was the most, that was a no brainer move. They had to do that. Well, he got fired because he doesn't have LeBron James. Right. And LeBron James basically made, uh, all his players never want to play basketball. Yeah. The only way that Dwayne Casey could have kept his job is if he was somehow like

just really good friends with LeBron. Yeah. If you, they should name Maverick Carter, their head coach. Yes. No, I think they're on the outs. Are they really a trouble in paradise? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe I made that up.

Yeah. I don't think that they're on the outs. They built an empire bro. You should start that rumor though. But Dwayne Casey, you see his Maverick Maverick Carter slept with, or with LeBron James's mom. Yeah. Many people are saying perfect.

Um, did you see the Dwayne Casey issued a statement that basically thanked, uh, Canada for being Canada. What he said, he said, thank you for teaching our all American family, the Canadian way that being polite and considerate to one another is always the best way that diversity is something to be embraced and celebrated, that taking the time to learn about each other's cultures is the surest way to find common ground and understanding. Like he just, he was just like, Hey guys, appreciate you being Canadian.

You know, when I was in Canada, another good way to ingratiate yourself with other people is constantly losing to their sports teams. And they don't like you. Yeah. Just rolling over like a Labrador at a dog park and letting everyone, LeBron pet your belly. That's a good way to be Canadian. Okay.

Uh, finishing up. Sorry, Canada. Sorry. We like you. We have, we do love Canada. I do. I am not ashamed. And I joked about it earlier with Winnipeg, but, um, I was like, obviously I'm

looking ahead to the Stanley Cup finals and this is definitely not going to blow up in my face, but the capitals are going to the Stanley Cup this year. And I was looking at either, you know, Vegas or Winnipeg. And legitimately I was like, I would rather go to Winnipeg. Yeah. No, I want, I, the NHL playoffs are more fun when a Canadian team is doing well. And I, I mean, Toronto, I've been to Toronto. It's, it's a really nice city.

It's like one of my top six American cities. I'll take back what I said about, about, um, Winnipeg being the Minnesota of Canada. Winnipeg is actually the Canada of Canada. Yeah. So it's pure Canadian distilled, concentrated Canada. Yeah. Sorry. Yes.

Just as syrupy as a story as you can get. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Hank, we got to Hank hot in the streets to finish up. Also Lil Tay. I'm sure you guys have been following all of our antics on Instagram, right? I just learned who Lil Tay was about 40 minutes ago.

So she posts videos in, in the high, like high end cars with money saying she like in, in a bathroom says this toilet costs more than your rent. Basically just flexes on haters 24 seven. So intimidating. So she, but she only got haters by flexing on potential haters. Well, she, and she's scared, you know, grown men like myself. Like I'm very, very scared of a nine year old. But it turned out that, uh, it's actually not her money or her family's money.

Her mom just works for a real estate company and she's just been like having open houses, like all the buildings and stuff that she's flexing in are actually just open houses. Would it be about the cars? It was the owner of the real estate companies. They asked to borrow it. He didn't know that it was going to be on Instagram. That's fucking genius though.

So what, so Lil Tay is done. The, what, the, no, the way he just quit the real estate agency, I think she's just going to pursue, pursue Lil Tay full time, full time, just becomes like sell stock in Lil Tay. Oh, I'm so excited to see like, this is the next generation of child stars, like TV stars, but it's even like more of a wild card situation because it's just like the entire enterprise is a stage mom and then the Instagram star. Well, and, and it's in next level as well, because it's even like with child

stars back in the day, like they had some discernible talent, like, okay, that kid can act a little. Yeah. This is just, we're just taking a kid and just basically sucking as much money out of them as possible to ruin their lives as quick. She definitely makes Lil Tay smoke weed, right? Yeah. How else are you going to flex on the haters?

They're like livestock. It's like, you have all these kids and you just turn them all into products. It's actually, we're actually going back to the golden ages when, when you had kids, they could work on the farm. There you go. Yeah. You're going to have more kids. That means more followers per capita.

Yeah. This is smart. You guys, Lil Tay or Bad Bobby girls? Bad Bobby. Big Bad Bobby. You kidding me? Bad Bobby gang for life. Dumb question.

Hey, I'm, I'm looking ahead a little bit. 10 years down the line, maybe we breed Lil Tay with a Yodeling boy. The most viral child. Yeah. Just a super viral kid. Yeah. Lil Tay gets put out to stud as like, like a resource. Yeah.

And then so we got to, you got to work in Thanos somehow. Like, Thanos is the dad. Okay. Yeah. If you, if you put only one of them would make it out of there. Oh, if you put Thanos into a crossover, it's instant success. I don't know what Thanos is. Thanos is the one they put in the fortnight.

Oh, Thanos is a good guy. His dream is eliminating 50% of every race of every race. Yeah, he's Hitler. I don't like that. Thanos isn't. I don't trust him. Yeah. Something about this Thanos guy rubs me the wrong way.

All right. That's our show. We'll see you guys on Wednesday. We have Great Week coming up. So get excited. Great Week starts this weekend. I don't want to get ahead of ourselves, but it's the best Great Week of all time.

Yeah. It's the, it's people, a lot of people are saying it's the most attractive, the best. It's tremendous. It's a tremendous, tremendous Great Week. Yep. All right. Love you guys.

Love you guys. Love you guys. LeBron memory test. What I ate for food this entire weekend. Okay. I had a donut on Saturday, but I played two hours basketball so it doesn't count. I had a donut.

I had two donuts. I'm really struck when we're ready. I had crackers and cheese. I bought like three boxes of crackers and just pounded crackers and cheese. You know what? I had crackers and then I dipped it in like chicken salad. I put chicken salad on crackers.

With grapes in it? No grapes in my chicken salad, but there was, there was also like yogurt, like Greek yogurt that I mixed with ranch. Oh, nice. I had Thai food for dinner, which is really good. Then I had some fish food, fro yo. I actually had two pints of that this weekend. That's pretty good.

Yeah, but it's the last fro yo, so it's like you only had a thousand calories per pint. I had, I had sliders. I had sliders twice. What kind? Chicken. I had a lot of chicken. I ate sliders twice.

What kind? Cheese, just cheeseburger sliders. Oh, cheeseburger sliders, okay. Actually, the first one that I had was really, really good. It was waffle fries instead of the bun. Okay. And the waffle fries had like old Bay Crab Season on it, which is really good.

Nice. Sunday, I had Thai food for breakfast, then a bagel. Then I had more crackers and then I actually went to 16 handles and had fro yo for dinner. Wait, fro, oh, then for dinner yesterday, I had Chinese food. Yeah. I had General So's chicken and soup. And then today, no fried rice.

Today, I had Chinese food and I had... The leftovers, yeah. No, no, another order separate order I stopped by. But it was different because the first one was delivery. Yeah. And then the second one, I went into the place and picked it up myself. Better, fresher.

Better, it was really hot and I got... That didn't probably shit in it. No, I got soup and I got General So's chicken. See, this little brown thing, isn't that hard? Yep. You can remember everything. Fucking photographic memory of my ass. It's part of my team, presented by Barstool Sports.