Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - ⚽ I don't like teams in blue⚽

Episode Date: September 7, 2026

Welcome to episode four of Footballing Hell... where every Monday Rob and Josh discuss the weekends football (or the bits that interest them) in the only way they know how. Chaotically, with not enough sleep, prep or insight... This week we (sort of) discuss the stories from the weekend of football that have interested us. Including a deep dive into why Josh doesn't like teams who play in blue, and the new Michael Owen reality TV show. Enjoy!! If you want to get in touch with the show you can; Email us: [e-mail] And follow us on Instagram and Tiktok: @footballinghell FPL team -⁠⁠⁠⁠ join the Footballing / Parenting Hell mini league ⁠⁠⁠⁠ LEAGUE CODE: 1a5fc7 Leave us a 5* review and subscribe to the podcast please. You know the score by now. ⁠⁠⁠Footballing Hell ⁠⁠⁠is a Spotify Podcast, new video episodes available everywhere every Monday (don't worry - it's business as usual on Tuesday and Friday with the usual Parenting Hell episodes) A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And welcome to footballing hell with... Rob Beckett. What you're laughing before? I'd take the piss. Rob Beckett. Josh Whitakam. Josh Whitakam. Not the most confident broadcaster.

Oh, okay. Actually, what I would say is, as a clue, retired footballer now broadcaster. Really? And we'll probably be talking about his team today due to the results at the weekend? I'm not sure if this intro to the show like this is shit or not. It's too difficult.

It's so impossible because you've got, like, you're trying to record. I don't know any footballer's voices beyond about three. From a work ethic. For me, it's easier if we don't. Because then I don't have to. I'm a rest of the more laurels approach. I thought you told me you've got loads in the bank already. Yeah, but what I didn't know was people have disappearing messages on

and WhatsApp have changed it. Oh, my God. and I lost Jack Greelish for a bit. So Chris Kimara, if you're listening, yours have deleted. Oh, God. So I've got a few lined up when they keep disappearing. Anyway, broadcaster Talk Sport Coast. You pray for Tottenham.

Oh, is it one of those ones that gets angry all the time? Yeah, but I don't think that's him as a person. It's very much due to the fact his team's finished 17th two years running and they're back in the relegations though. Jason Coimney. First name, Jamie. Close. Jamie O'Hara. Yeah, I mean, I mean, I know this is quite.

difficult, yeah, correct. But I think it gets to the point where that was too easy. Yeah, I don't listen to talk sport. You've got to remember that. Yeah, sure. The guy that hosts football in hell, the football podcast doesn't listen to talk sport at all. No, I don't. I don't like talk sport.

I just say really quickly, it's lovely to watch a feature die in real time. Okay, well... No, that's fine. You can like football and not listen to talk sport. True, you can. You can. can, but I think if you are into football, as I am, and I've real aficionado, as all the comments have suggested, of how much I especially know. Have they? No. I'd say the main feedback is, I cannot believe how little they know

about current football. And it's not until I started doing a football podcast, I realized. Honestly, if you say to me, like, name a Evan Shrikeer, like, yeah, Yacoubu will go into my head first. Duncan Ferguson. And then it's a constant fight back towards... Yeah. Who at the moment, who unloved? They've got two players called Barry and George.

You're a big fan of that, Barry and George up front. But this is a problem. When George scored yesterday, I did think that's not for needy, George. That's exactly what I thought, and I just remembered how fast he was on Pro Evo and he used to play for I act. Then I started thinking of Babingida.

Remember him how fast he was on Pro Evo? Michael, you're a Babingida player? Yeah, Finini George, though, was the one. Yeah, absolutely outraged, especially on chat manager. So that was Jamie O'Hara. Thanks, Jamie. I think he's a him and Jason Cundee. Look, my opinion on Talksball is, when it's done right,

I think it's brilliant because it basically feels like mates having a laugh about their football teams when they're going well or not going well, and I think it's great. And it's worst, naming no names, Adrian Durham, when he does his player ratings at the World Cup and gives like Declan Rice a three out of ten when we've beat a Mexico.

and you're like, this is pure rage bait. So it's the rage bait I don't like, but when they're actually having a laugh, like Ali McCoyce is brilliant on it. I love Ali McCoyce. Cold sticks great, you know, when he's not on the rage rate and he doesn't do that anymore.

I love Charlie Baker. Hulksby and Jacobs. That's a really good people on, but, you know, Simon Jordan and Jim White, it's a tough, it's a tough out. Oh, it's a tough game. That's a tough wonderful. It's a tough.

I just think this was Simon Jordan. Yeah. Do you need to do this? Well, the answer is. I think yes. Because I don't know about you. If I was an incredibly successful businessman that had all these millions

and could buy football clubs, I don't know if I'd do, you know, five days a week talking to Jim White about any old bollocks at Phil's three hours. You've got a job here, mate, that is on, you know, a successful radio station,

but you're not hosting the fucking radio on breakfast show. Do you know what I mean? You're doing it. You're not like... Oh, I don't know. I don't know what talks about. pays, but if you're already a multi-millionaire business owner, is it, is that negligible?

Or is it fun? So is he doing it for the love of saying things he doesn't quite believe in. I think he does believe in him, did he? Well, then his life must be exhausting. Doesn't he go out of the lady that presents on G.B. News? Yeah, who used to go around their ass for a dinner party. Oh, yeah. Do you see that on the news?

Stop now. Just, I don't care what it was. Stop now. What do you prefer? Or oranges or mangoes? Let's do that. Anyway, so that's Jamie O'Harr. I like Jamie. He's a good love. Thank you to Jamie.

I'm a talk sport. What can I say? You're up a talk sport. Well, that's fine. I'll be on there at some point. I'm a regular on Charlie Baker and Paul Hawkesby. I'm a regular on Charlie. I'm up all night.

Listening to the leg show. Matt Ford used to be great on it. Remember we did all through the night? Yeah, yeah. So if anyone's got any ideas about how to open the show because I think I'm getting bored of having to do that and begging for current following as an ex-foot person to say our name. It's too hard, isn't it?

Well, why don't we? We're killing it in real time. Do you want to, do you need to go through all the ones who got left? Yeah, go on. Go on. We might have to cut some of this out because I think they were drunk when they sent it. Oh, fuck off of your favourite. Stiff like your fucking ass, you can't.

Jesus wept. Jesus wept. Well, actually, that was someone else, that was another player chipping in on someone that asked to do it. I would not have lasted 10 minutes in a dressing room if I was good at football. I'll give you some clues. They played English, both. English, both played for Chelsea under Marino.

Oh no. Terry and Lampard. Right. No, it's not them two, so hang on. Oh, fuck off of you, favours. Stick like you fucking arsh, you c-c. Joe Cole. Oh, yeah, well, correct, but he hasn't even spoken yet. No, but I'm just guessing English players that play for Marino. I'd be honest, I'm not using, I'm not using the voices.

I'm not using the voices. The game was so hard. But now it's so easy you don't even need the voices. Well, the voices are no help. Okay. Do you recognise this voice? It's Joe Cole. Of course I don't.

If someone said to me, do you know, I'd do a great impression of Joe Cole, I'd go, well, what? What does that mean? Show us you're a boner. Yeah. That's what I'll take to him. Do you impression, show us.

It's Bridgy, by the way. I can grow up. Wayne Bridge, right. Do you mind doing me a painter? Rob Beckett and Josh Whitakam. Right, okay, so that was Joe Cole and Wayne Bridge. So sorry, they still hanging out just recording voice memos together?

I think they were just out, they're friends, do you know what I mean? You know, me and you, you know, me and Rommis and, you know, we all, and James Acres, we all hang out socially, don't we? No, because we're all obsessively working and none of us know why and none of us can stop. But the good thing is for them, their career had to end due to injury. If in comedy, your vocal chords went at 35. But then surely I think comedians should retire when it's sort of like not a physical injury. It's like when they're, they're, they're, they're,

Mind and spirit becomes compromised due to so much exhaustion, that they start to turn into scum. Yeah, I don't know if you'd get far enough at all. You'd be retiring very early in that case. Well, the thing is comedians, you know, someone would always let them on a stage. A footballer can't just get on a football pitch. Well, they can to do the halftime draw. Rob Beckett and Josh Whitakum.

Bit of fucking professionalism, at last. That's exactly what we're looking for. Okay. Just knock it out. No messing around. No someone interrupting. I've got to record a voice note. Do you know what?

I'll do it. I like this person. Right, okay. They're professional. They clear up. You know them. You've worked with them on TV. It's not Claude McAlelele,

but it should be because it's someone who's just keeping it ticking over. It's Rodry. Is it Rodry? Similar players, Roderry, though. Midfield Maestro. Exactly. That's what I mean.

I've worked with them on TV. By the way, I was getting really laughing. You know what's talking about the Chelsea. League of their own. Fred. Jamie Rednap. Jamie Rednap. Yeah.

There we go. Delivers. Rock Beckett and Josh Whitakam. Yeah. Lovely man, does the job perfect. This is great, actually, because I had all these unread, and it was really stressing me out.

I mean, so many unread messages because I had them unread to find them. Oh, when someone was going through all the Chelsea players, you know, it was in Chelsea players and cereal, and some of the comments on the cliff, I don't know if you saw it, someone said Jeremy, Jeremy's eating all the sugar puffs.

Sending your combination to Marina area, Chelsea players and cereals. Yeah. Well, just think of Chelsea, do Chelsea players and breakfast, right? Because they've had so many players. Like the last 20 years, it's insane. Anyway, I do the last one.

This is really hard. Good to see you on the golf. Hang on. Rob, Whitacom. There's a clue there, Rob. What's that? Good to see you on the golf. Jimmy Bullard.

No, it's not Jimmy Bullard. So this one is, I know this, well, I actually know this football, because you come and saw me play, do a gig years ago. well, we're doing a hundred-seater because he's from near me. He's from Bexleaf Way. But he has had a series.

I'm going to read out all the teams he's played for. Okay. He's retired. Used to play as a defender. Is this in order? Well, he's from Bexieaf, 6'2, defender. A youth career was at West Ham. And then he basically broke through at Aston Villa.

Yeah. And then he played for Birmingham, West Bromwich Albion, Portland Timbers. God, he did the Midlands. And he'd done a few loans. No, I don't know who that. is. Liam Ridgwell. All right, let's move on. I mean, fuck. Jesus, wept.

Liam Ridgwell. The feature's dead. No disrespect to Liam. Oh, has Ridgewell killed it off? But imagine a feature where you recognise Liam Ridgwell's voice. That's not broadcasting. Imagine you're working in a call centre.

You work for sky. Yeah? You work for sky and you get a call and they go Hi yeah I live in Birmingham my set top box has broken Yeah

You think wait a minute Is that the voice of Liam Ridgwell I can recognise that voice anywhere Well mate maybe in Portland It's like Silla Black Everyone knows Liam Ridgwell's voice Big dog he's made waves in America He broke America while you're slagging him off

In Portland I'm not making him off I'm just saying he hasn't got A distinctive voice No he hasn't I think even Liam Ridgwill potentially wouldn't recognise his own voice at times. Is that me? The feature's dead.

If anyone's got an idea for the opening feature, let us know. I'm certainly not putting any time aside to fucking think of something. Well, once you've got to Liam Ridgeway, you've run out of players. Well, I had Chris Kamara. The most galling thing is we've had Wayne Bridge. He didn't even do it. Yeah, we've had Wayne as well. It's all a bad feature, you know.

But we'll look back on this one day. We'll bring it back. It's good to know that Joe Cole and Wayne Bridge are still hanging out together. I like it when you see old footballers hanging out together. So they always hang out. They love music. They go to a lot of music festivals and stuff together. They're always at Oasis.

Yeah. So that's why I see them a lot of Oasis. Well, there we go. Now, Rob. Right, so Josh, you said you've got a list of stuff we'll talk about. Yeah. I think, and I think maybe some of the listeners agree, the list makes things worse. Yeah, okay.

So let's just start talking. I don't think the list helps. I think it panics us. There's no list. Let's just start talking. Did you watch the football? I've watched the highlights. Have you watched any games?

What, in full? Yeah. Hang on. Don't react. We are doing a weekly football podcast, but I'd assume by accident you might watch one even if you weren't do it. As a football fan.

I haven't got Sky at the moment. Right, okay. Because you're getting worked done. And that's true. You're not going to work, but watch any games. That's fine. I am. I've, tell, ask, ask me about the highlights of any of the games.

Okay, well, I'm going to ask you about what you're watching this week coming up. What games have you set aside that you've got to be... Well, I've looked ahead at the fixtures. Well, why not? I know. There's Champions League game midweek. Oh, is that? And there's Manchester Derby next weekend.

Do you know about that? Yeah, I'm looking forward to that. I've got a terrible feeling that Man City are just as good as they were before. Well, yeah, but it makes it exciting for the league, didn't it? Here's my theory, Rob. Go on. Start of the season. Everyone's going, there is so...

much change. This season could go anyway. There's new managers, there's loads of transfers, everything has changed. Yeah. Nothing's changed. Arsenal, man, you're not. The best two teams.

Arsenal Man City. Liverpool are still a bit shit at the same level as before. Yeah, they're still working at aren't they? Yeah. Manu are the same level as before. Tottenham are the same level as before. Aston Villa started ready shit last year.

They've started ready shit again. It's literally the same again. The only difference is Chelsea are a bit better. That's literally the only difference in the whole of the Premier League. But there will be people in the mid-section saying that it's really different this year for people. Well, because of Brentford is six rather than eight. Hey, I'm just saying there's fan bases out there that we may not be respected enough. Of course.

Right. What do you think of their start to their season? I'd say, Rob, they may as well not be in the fucking league as far as I'm going to... Okay, Rob. I'm going to give you some teams, I want you to tell me how many points they've got, okay?

Right, okay, yeah, that's easy... Seeing as you're across it all so much. Yeah, yeah, I'm across it, actually. Look, I'm the Stato here, your Bedil and Skinner. Okay, how many points have Brighton got? Absolutely no idea. Three. They've played three games.

Three, they've got three points. They've got four points. Okay, close. Name the two teams with zero points. Coventry? Yeah. That's the village road, didn't they? This team, I'm sorry, but...

Go on, give me your opinion of them, then I... Just fuck off. I just can't be bothered with them. I just... Ipswich? No, at least Ipswich. You're like, oh, they're in the Premier League in the glory days of the Premier League.

So Coventry, and who else is it? Fulham. Fulham. Just what, just get out and just be a bit of fun in the championship. what you're saying? I don't even know if they'll be a bit fun in the championship. So I'm there's a couple of Fulham fans I like. Richard Osmond? Richard Osmond.

I like Fulham. I like Phelham. Felix White from the Maccabees I like, he's a big Fulham fan. And Lillian. Right. Is she a Fulham fan? They've got good celebrity fans. I don't know. I think Lillian's a bit on the fence. I don't think she's like... You don't think she's down the cottage? She's not down the cottage. I saw him Paddington Station the other day. I was thinking about this other day. You know you said about

That's new for them. Chelsea have got the worst type of fans. They've got the posh ones and in the sort of far right nutters, angry bald men. I was thinking, do they even have a player that everyone loves?

Like, you know, like... I think Morgan Rogers. Morgan Rogers. Yeah, I think people quite like him. But then he started trying to fight Declan Rice yesterday. Yeah, but that's fine. That's fine. But that Zola, everyone loved.

Everyone loved Zola. Everyone loved Rood Hillet. Did they? I think, because it was so thrilling when he came. And then he was saying sexy football and everyone was like, this guy is something else. It's so mad

our boring British football coverage, isn't it? Like, Rudy Lick goes, sexy football. And like, oh my God, it's so far. And now, Mika Richards is like transformed and revolutionised TV by having a laugh. By just being happy, just happy. I know. And enjoying football and laughing.

I'm like, oh, my God, he's such a breath of fresh air. It's like, what all those other fuckers doing in their suits sat there at a funeral? It's a game of football. Oh, we've lost again. No one really cares. You pretending to care this much is the problem.

This is what... I listened to Talksport the other day. There was a bloke on it, and I don't know if it was joking or not. He said, because Tottenham drew, Neil, Neil, we're not in a forest, away from home, he'd cancelled dinner with his wife that night. Right. How would Lew and Rose respond? Oh, my God.

Plymouth have lost. You got, Rose, I'm sorry, we're going to have to cancel Byron Burger or whatever. Or bills, whatever you've got down in Devon. How? How effing dare you? Sorry, Bel Air Italian's going to have to... How dare you? Look, I know you love Frankie and Benny's roads,

but we're going to have to pull the reds. Could I get the same? I don't know. Of course you can. He's Exeter. It's absolutely empty. I think if... When was the last time I was truly affected?

You were affected by England? Yeah, England affects me. But I think that's because... because everyone's into it. So all the mood around you is like that. So I think it's different. Imagine if you was a football fan, you work with loads of the same fans,

that might be different. This is the difference between club and international. I think it's the same as the difference between your birthday and Christmas, right? Yeah. On your birthday, it's just you that cares. Yep. So really your birthday's not as good as Christmas

because everyone's into it. So everyone is into England or Wales or Wales or. Scotland or whatever. So you get caught up in it. So you get caught up in it, like Christmas. A World Cup is Christmas and Plymouth winning a game is your birthday. Yes. That's what it's like. Even when England went out, there's World Cup so fond of.

I still finished my dinner. Of course. No, I'm not eating tonight. We're canceling dinner. But so you've made two calls after Spurs drew. And they drew away from home. One to your wife and one to talk sport. What is wrong with you?

And also, she needs to leave him. I agree, totally. I think with Tottenham, we should talk about Tottenham. So Tottenham, I've lost the first two games. It's still funny. It's still funny. Should we phone Reese James? Should you try Reese again?

I found he was fairly... He was a white about it. I'll try Bill again, but he's quite shy, so I think he knows what I'm doing when I'm trying to ring him. Bill's a producer of Robin Romish, but a massive Tottenham fan. That goes a lot. But surely you should just accept a nil-nil draw

with Not in a Forest. It's fine. He knows what I'm not to here. Maybe he knows what I'm up to, but also he is like producing a show I'm on. You'd think he'd answer? That's twice I've rung in there with no response. So how often do you ring?

Because remember, you've finished it for the series. So what are you going to be phoning about now? We have to go in and do voiceover. I've been having a thought. I've had some thoughts about the edit, Bill. No, that does happen because sometimes I'm like stripped naked and we have to agree on our money nipples I show. Hang on.

Yeah. From what number? Hello, Bill. You're right, mate. How are you? Yeah, good. Can you talk? I'm recording football in hell with Josh.

He can hear you, but... Oh, yeah. You're right. You won't be able to hear Josh, just me. We're just discussing Tottenham, and I'd say you're probably one of the most passionate Tottenham fans I know. We just wanted to know what...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the thought and vibe at Tottenham? Because for us, before the start the season, good manager, spent loads of money, get them all in. What's Marry? What's Marry? What's the thought process at the moment?

Do you know what? I knew you're going to be really about spurs. We can talk about the show if you on. How's the edit? No, no, no. You know what? I would say I'm coming. I don't want to be too doom and gloom just yet.

Just yet. Because the problem, like... You got you got, you got... You're at the relegation zone on Saturday for four hours. Can I tell you something I've been looking at, right? And you might laugh at this. You might be just so fucking sad, Bill. Do you know what?

RXG is against the game. And again, all the other times. Hang up, Rob, hang up. Hang up on this pre. And then this weekend, against North Forrest, yeah, better X-G. And so it's, we are at, at school with Frank, when we were from Frank, right? We didn't look like we were going to score.

We just looked dreadful. Yeah. We just looked like there was no hope. But do, we are creating chances. We just need, but most of the school, plus the board to kill us, and we get a goal. Right. We just need to, we just need to convert our chance.

And that will happen. I just think, I think, honestly, Rob, This weekend, I think that we'll batter and not, I think we'll batter Everton. Really? It's all going to click. Yeah, then it'll click. And then everyone will be like, everyone's so keen to jump on us.

The other thing, by the way. Yeah, because you haven't scored. Everyone's just used, I don't know why everyone's coming for spurs. You haven't scored. You haven't scored a goal. You haven't scored a goal, Rob. Bill I haven't scored a goal, Rob. Bill, Bill, they've sold their squad.

They sold everyone. No, Viller haven't signed the squad. and everyone's going for Spurs and no one's talking about, let's talk about Villa. What do you want to say about Villa? Villa, they look dreadful, they signed,

who's the, what he said, man, man, my gosh, I shouldn't say what he's like. Yeah, if you don't know how to pronounce it,

Bill, I'll just tap out. They've signed, they've signed, load of players. Yeah. They look dreadful. It's still early.

It's still early. Yeah. You know what? I said to yesterday. I want, I can't be. He's shy. He's shy.

He said at one point. He's shy. I don't say this. I don't want to say this. Go on, my only, I think that I'd like Potschback, but not yet. Oh, you want, oh, hang on. So you just said it's all going to click it ever. Now you want to sack as Erbie.

Yeah, no, but I still have this thing of like, he's an ex-girlfriend who were like, I think it would have worked better with him. Right. I still think it just. I think he's a better manager for these people. Was your Stephen Schumacher? Yeah, do you know, when I worked,

yesterday's gay, right? You against Chelsea. It was so, like, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was just running for them. You know what, another thing is another style, I've been looking at so many stats. You run more than everyone else, right? Isle run so much? And I was like, we used to run so much in Podge.

And we don't run anymore. And I was like, I wanted to, I'm like, you guys, there was that bit about 20 minutes into the game. You were just both teams just running. Running so much. And I thought that was about football again, where it was just fucking running at each other like. Yeah, but Bill, do you see the XG?

Arsenal's XG really dropped off from all the running. You, I, do you know what? I've seen a stat that you have the least XG against, don't you? Bill, I've never looked at XG in my life. It's a load of fucking bollocks. You've just bought a load of charlatans are there for the money. They're not going to put any effort in. They just want the dollar and a big move to Ream Madrid if it goes well.

What's the prediction for the Everton game? Oh, I think we'll win 4-0. Okay. Perfect. I'm not. It's too early to get me depressed. Honestly, I think, if we don't beat Everton, Villa. Yeah.

If we don't beat Everton, you can call me. Right, okay. We'll give you a bell if you lose to Evan. If you'll be to Evanton, then I think I'll be pretty low. Anyway, Bill. There were moments yesterday

when Chelsea were in 1-0 and I said to my son, I was like, I think maybe you should just support Chelsea because it is pretty shit being Spurs fan. But anyway, but just look at the XG

and Bill, next time we're filming Robin Rommish, if me and Rommish don't make anyone laugh, we'll just show you the expected laughs. And then you can put those expected laughs into the edit. And before you know it, Nava BAFTA. Is that okay? The ex laughs.

The ex laughs. Cheers, Bill. I'll speak too later, mate. Cheers. Love Bill. He's so passionate about Tottenham. He knows a lot as well, to be fair. Can we go back on you saying he's shy?

Well, Bill, he's a little bit, if he was here now and he saw cameras, he wouldn't want to be in front of them. But he's not shy once you get him going. Right, Rob, can we talk about Arsenal v Chelsea? Yes, I talked about Arsenal v Chelsea. Did you watch it? Yes, I watched it, I enjoyed it. It was stressful as an Arsenal fan,

but it felt like a proper fun game when they're attacking each other. Morgan Rogers is my favourite England player now. Is he? I love him. Oh, can I tell you what the lamest thing on earth is? Have you seen the clip of... I thought you're strictly advert. That's fine.

Have you seen the clip of the journalist asking Mikhail Artetta about the front three of Chelsea and their nickname? No, I didn't even know Chelsea have got nickname. Front three. So, you know how there's occasionally nicknames for front threes, and they're always a bit of a push? I want to say Shire and Sun, because it's so long ago. But the S&S is all along.

No, but Messi, what was it, Messi, Namar and Suarez. Nearly said Saviola. MSN, like MSN messaging. Oh, yeah, I don't know that. But yeah, I get it, yeah. You think that's bad. Yeah. Do you want to have a go at Cole Palmer, Morgan Rogers and Jal Pedro?

Michael? PRP? I think it's going to be CPR, right? No, that's much better, CPR. You know, as well, CMJ, CJM? No. No. So they take the J from Jal Pedro.

Yeah. His first name. The P from Cole Palmer, his second. name? JPM? JPM? J.P. Morgan. So the nickname's J.P. Morgan, like, I named after the business. Journalist. It was like, they're calling them J.P. Morgan. No one's calling them J. No one's calling that. Also, it's a bit too favoured in Morgan, isn't it? Also, yeah, you've chosen one person's first name, one person's second name, so that doesn't work. Because it sounds like J.P. Sounds like Jal Pedro Morgan. And what did Arteta say? Fuck off you loser. Well, no, he kind of laughed along.

and I was like, oh, shit, weird. Yeah. Do you know what? X laughs on that, zero. Ex laughs. You should have seen the X laughs on that when he was getting it ready in the press box. AP Morgan. Well, Gary Neville, I'm going to shock with some current football opinion.

Go on. I'm going to talk about current players here. Gary Neville said to Ian Ryan and the other panel that he thinks Artetta would swap Havert, Eze and Saka for. for J. Pedro, Morgan and Palmer. For J.P. Morgan? For J.P. Morgan. They would swap the ESH.

The H-E-E-S, the He's. The Hees. G. Begibis. This attack so fierce. The He's-B-G-B-G-B-E. He'd swap the He's-B-G-B-B-B-G-B. J-P. J-P. J-P. J-P. Morgan are coming for me with a very watertight contract

that you can't wriggle out of. I don't, I definitely don't think I'd swap. I think that's a mental, like they've had three good games and you've got a front three that have won the league. Mine swap J.P. Morgan. You take J.P. Morgan? Kai Havert.

He's very like Thomas Mueller, isn't he? And I don't really know. He's not an out-and-out striker, but he's so good, Josh. His touch. He just has little flintz. I don't care about his touch. I don't care about his touch. You should care about his touch.

His little touches sort of set up a couple of big opportunities and the goal. Actually, he did dummy for the winning goal. Yeah, he made the winning goal and he scored. It's a bad week. It's a bad week. apart from cover up his boarding head. That air cut, mate. Just get a, he should have done it early.

He had the old summer off. Get the wings. Basically, because what he's got is like, he's going to look like an old Steve Archerball head. He's got his Lombardo. He's got to act early and accept it. I think that's holding him back. Do you know how you get a full head of hair?

If you combine Warnock with Cole Palmer, you get either totally bored off. I just think if your job is like, that's why Joe Cole did it right. He just sort of shaved it all off as it got. When are you shaving off if you're a footballer? Well, I think if you're Col Palmer, it's obviously receding slightly

and he's trying to cover it with a sweepover. You can't sweep over. Like, because of the, have you seen the pictures of Bobby Charlton when Bobby Charlton's comb over is gone? I can't. I cannot look at him as a footballing great because he air is too distracted.

I totally agree. I'm just like, they're saying one of the greatest players of England ever had. I, what? I just think,

if you have to accept what you are and who you are, right? And part of accepting is you can improve it or change, but you need to go,

right, I'm going to do this or whatever, right? And that's fine. But if you're an artist like Cole Palmeries, he's not like a functional

Scott Mottommonee athlete type. He's a brilliant, like, genius at football. He can find little gaps and do amazing stuff. If you want to express yourself, you've got to accept yourself and just go,

you can't hide your bald ed with air spray and bits and bobs you can't do it sure we ask the expert should we ask the expert michael our resident bald expert michael who looks like he's doing it michael you have to look and you're going to hate this as a beef up beefed up referee's assistant that works in the v i've had a lot worse i've had a lot worse so michael how much would we have to pay you to get a bobby cholten comb over um how long have i got to have it for you for the your life just lived like that. For the rest of my life. Yeah, that's just your new haircut, Bobby Charlton.

I'd won at least a million pounds a year in my bank account at the start of every year. Well, but what's the thought process here? No one's going, he's got loads of air. No one's, you're not fooling anyone. No one's gone. No one's gone. He's gone, the glue wigs are let them off. On a quick glance, oh, they've got air.

Bobby Cholten type air, the sweeper, not just him. I know we're picking on him here, but loads of people aren't it. No one's looking at that air and gone, he's got lovely long air. No. He's got loads of it. He's got a ball dead, but he's worried about the coldness on the top of his head. That could be the only explanation.

I don't think those strands of hair are making much difference. Do you know what he looks like? It looks like, you know when a kid needs to tidy their room and they can't be bothered? So they have all the mess on the floor, they just chuck a rug on it. And then goes, look, a clean floor. And we'll all know what you're up to here. Would you have more respect for Cole Palmer if he did the Bobby Chart and comb over? Well, I just think he's almost doing that.

The problem is you do it now. and it's incremental where that sort of sweeping it across. But I just think if you're playing football and you're getting hot and sweaty and you're going to be worried about your air. You're too self-conscious. Yeah. Wasn't Bayle bald and he covered it with his long air

and curled it around? Bail's got a good head of air, isn't he? We've got loads of air, but there was rumours that it was balding in the middle but he had so much long round, he sort of twisted it around until he's kind of covered it up in a kind of... I think it might have been a conspiracy theory.

Yeah, he covered it up with a bun. No. That's why. I heard. That's not true. There's photos where he looks bald. Yeah, look. No, I refuse to believe that.

I refuse to believe that. No, I don't know if he's been doctored, but it looks like he covers a ball patch up with loads of hair in the bun. Gareth, if you're listening, or if you know, Gareth, you want to refuse, it's fine, let's set the record straight. Yeah, he looks a bit like robbed a bank.

Well, I think it's an important thing to discuss because, let's face it, the majority of our listeners are men of a certain age, where bald heads is part of life. and there's also a very strong listener group of women that potentially might be married to these bald men that aren't dealing with it very well.

So is that your main take home from the Chelsea Arsenal game that Cole Palmer needs to shave his head? And then my main takeaway was Chelsea and Chabby Alonzo are going to be really, really good. They're a problem. Yeah, I like a good attacking team. I like it. They went for it.

The defence needs a little bit of work, but also Arsenal are really, really solid. And I think Havert is great, but I get it why people think he's not a proper striker because he's not really. Are you joining me and coming to quite like Chelsea? If you take away... That they're Chelsea.

The history of Chelsea and like Abramovich and some of their fans. I love Chapman-Lonzo, a big fan of Palmer and Morgan Rogers. Enzo Fernandez has gone, which is a huge boost for likeability. Yeah, yeah. And yeah, so, yeah, I think... Do you like JP Morgan? I hate the... I like the attacking lineup, things are exciting for the league.

Don't like the name. And I love, Cole Palmer's one of my favorite players. I just want to see him with a big old air of air. I genuinely think once the transplant happens, his career goes up three levels. Can I ask the next question. I don't think I like teams in blue. Okay.

So into Milan? There may be an exception, but I like that black and white, black and blue stripes. Right. So Chelsea, Everton. Chelsea, Everton. I'm a big event, that. I love Everton.

Really? the toffies, your beloved toffies. I had some great players at play for him. Oh, we got a bit of abuse because, right, so Everton Mince have toffee in the middle of them. Right, so that's why they're called the Toffies. And not the Mince? Yeah.

Okay. I've got that covered. You fucking losers. Must tell them. Why do you care what we think? Do you what I mean? Must tell them. Master.

I do love Everton. I don't want to go through a little. Oh, hang on. Bill sent some stats. I'll just tell him to... Sky Sports recorded an XG of 1.12 for Tottenham and 0.72 for Newcastle. They weren't playing Newcastle. That was the first game. And then against Statenham, Forest, it was 1.6 versus 0.6.

But this doesn't matter. Then he said, Brentford batted us, to be fair. Not going to send you that XG for that. But you can't be Brentford. Brentford are incredible. Brentford are like salanderated. Yeah, Keith Andrews will be. be the manager of spurs for the first six months of next season.

Also, he started talking about Thomas Frank. You've had another manager between, Igor Tudor turned up. I know. Anyway, I was talking about, Man United. I love Everton, Man United. I think Everton are great, great fans. They've got, I love, I don't want to go through a list. Also, Tottenham-wise.

Now, haven't scored a goal. But Troy Parrott, who they got rid of, striker, scored for Real Batis to beat Ria Madrid. And then they've got Vasilovich. I can know how to say his name, is at Brighton from Tottenham Eastcord, and Lancashire is scoring loads in the championship. Oh, that's good. That's good to know.

David Moyes, love David Moyes. Do you like David Moyes? Yeah, I feel a bit like him, a bit like, you know, John Major? Yeah. You know how like, or the same happened with Gordon Brown as well. You know these prime ministers that aren't popular when they're prime minister, but then after a while people see them as a kind of elder. Statesman.

Well, I think, I feel like David, David Moyes at Manu, everyone was like he's shit. But then years later, you're like, oh, David Moyes, he's like a kind of, he's a solid elder statesman of the game. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but also as well, as time's gone on, everyone's realized Man United was the problem, not the managers. Yes. Because he can't have that, whatever's going on within that club as a thing.

I don't know any other Man U manager that's come out of it since. he's the most successful of the Manu managers post Alex Ferguson. Is he? In terms of after Manu. Marino, done fuck all. Right, I'm going to stop me here, Josh. I think they may have done, well, they're both won cups. Oh, who cares about cups?

Well, no, but if you say they're done shit, he won the Europa League, Marino. Barrio, qualified for Jeff. Eric Tenard won the FA Cup. No, no, no, no, no, I'm happy to call it all shit. No, no, no, no, I don't mean at Manu. don't mean a manu. I mean, after leaving Manu... Oh, got you. Who's done well since? David Moyes has done

well since. Marino, it's just gone everywhere, not been very good. Ten Haag, didn't he get sacked after one week somewhere? Yep, I don't know, but yet. I'll listen to a football podcast. I'll have this to find out. Ralph Rang Nick. Might as well be listening. I forgot about a little Ralphie. Uh, Rude van Nistelroy.

No. No. And then, who's Olly Gunnar Solskar? He only manages Manu. He doesn't do anything else. Carrick we're Carrick's in now and we're Rumen Aberin I watched I'll tell you what I watched ASEWilla versus Juventus last night

What is wrong with you? Is it 1998? It was 1-1 I missed the last minute equaliser because I fell asleep I'll... So a couple of things because Ruben Amarin was on there

so I was basically wanting Juventus to beat me Ruben Ammering because that sounds mean but I enjoy the soap opera of it's bad because they are people but if someone's... Yeah well if someone's crap but they stick to their guns

the whole time. I think you're allowed to find it funny. Yeah. If you continue to go, I only ever play over back five and then you keep losing. You're like, make you change it.

Yeah. I've jumped around a bit. I was going to say, no way. I know Michael's done a lot of away days. I would quite like people's advice on going to matches in Europe. Like for a little lads or football friends trip,

going to a town or city to watch a game. Where would you most like to go? Well, I'm going to roam with the kids and Lou in the new year. Around East. I don't know when we're going. But like, That's a way, day. Yeah, so I have booked it so that Roma are playing at home.

So who's going to go with you? Well, I might just go on my own or the Lue and the kids might come. We haven't decided yet. We could have to look at the tickets and stuff. Are they big Roma fans? I thought your kids supported Latsio. Yeah, but I've promised them they can wear their blue top underneath the Roma shirt just for safety. Another blue team I don't like.

I love Latsio's kit. Light blue. I don't like light blue. I don't mind light blue. I don't mind light blue. You don't like dark blue. who don't like blue. I know what you mean.

I'm not a big fan of that dark blue. Who else was, Rangers? Rangers. I don't like Rangers. Why don't like Rangers? Because they won the league every year when I was a kid, so I was a natural...

Because they were two, yeah. Are you starting to feel sorry for Coventry? I think they'll turn it around. Hull look, probably the best out of the promoted teams. Yeah, but that went last. They're hull. We basically spend an hour making enemies on here.

I don't mind. I don't mind. You wait till we try to sell it at all. But this is my problem with people. Can't shift a ticket. That makes you not like me, right? If someone said to me, if someone said to me, if Plymouth were in the Premier League and someone said,

well, they're going to go down because they're Plymouth, I wouldn't go, how dare you? How dare you speak badly of Plymouth Argyle? Because that's, who cares? Let's find out. Who cares? It's entertainment. It's like going, I don't like,

Ken Barlow. No one cares. It's entertainment. Well, how about this, have you ever, let's do it, have you ever boycotted someone because of their football views? No, not you. I mean, the listeners. All right. Oh, sorry. You can email in if you want. Okay.

What's the email address? Football in hell podcast at gmail.com. Yeah. Is that right, Michael? Yeah, close enough. Well, no, not close enough. We need to know what it is to the email. That's right. That's right. Okay. And have you been to a Roma game, Michael?

Any advice? I've been to a Lazio game and it was horrible. Oh, okay. I can't, I can't voucheroma. Very, very, let's call them, tasty ultras in the Lazio stand. Yeah, very, very, very politically charged, I'd say. Yeah, they are quite politically charged, Latsia. And you felt uncomfortable there as a bald white man.

It must have been intense. If you fell under the kosh. Many years ago on a TV show, which I won't name, we filmed a VT, there and the ultras who saw us filming with a camera, we had a small child who was sort of there as a kind of like make-a-wish style thing, being the presenter, they came over and threatened us to smash the camera up. Oh, God. That's how much they disliked being filming.

So when I went about years later, it was, the vibe hadn't really changed. But maybe me and my blonde, blonde daughters might get carried through the standard at the front. They'll love us. On there, blue eyes. I'm there, I've got a mask on scarf. Let's go, lads. I want to discuss, meet the Owens. Oh, my God.

So for people that don't know what it is, basically it's a, like, a reality show about Michael Owen and his family. Yeah. I'm treading carefully here because, well, let's put it this way. He who has not made a bad TV show cast the first show. No, I don't think it's a bad TV show. No. I actually think it's a compulsive.

It's electric viewing because essentially what you've got is Michael Owen who is, who got injured. What we forget about Michael Owen was, he was for a period, one of the most special people in the world. It was so special and like adored. And then obviously he got injured and do that. So I applaud him for having no bitterness really.

He seems very positive. And he's moved on and he's obsessed with horses. He's obsessed of his family that he refuses to tell he loves, which is quite a shift. Oh, that is so weird. He won't tell his family he loves them. He won't tell his kids he loves them. You can tell he loves them.

You know, all he does is talk about and look after and mess about. But he's like, he engages in such a strange way. Like he calls his son a helmet. He's not got tons of banter. So he seems to be on a mission to show that he isn't boring. He's been caught boring by a lot of people. And he wants to tell the world he's not boring. and I would say

this show is not the best case for the defence well yeah because he's not boring well he's not boring the first scene is him hung over and he kind of we're led to believe that him going out and having drinks makes him entertaining

but that's I'd say that's not what that's two separate things no one's going the problem with Michael Owen is he doesn't get on it enough Well, so I think, though, I've watched the whole series. I watch the whole series. I love it. And they actually all get a bit more relaxed around the cameras.

I think episode one feels a bit awkward, because I think, as you would, if you've got loads of cameras in your house, it's a little bit overwhelming, and you've been filmed the whole time. There's an incredible scene with Jamie Carragher in episode one. Oh, what he's showing around his stables? Yeah.

And Jamie Carragher has never been there, despite them being mates for two and a half decades. He goes, so how long have you had this place? He goes, because he's 23 years. Imagine, you know, how long, we've known each other, 15? Yeah. Imagine in 10 years' time, I discover you've got a stable with 50 horses that cost two millennia to run.

I wasn't even aware of it. Also as well, he lives about 20 minutes away from Owen. You would have passed you by accident, wouldn't you? And pop in for a cup of tea. If I lived half an hour away from you and you'd pop in, wouldn't you? Also, half the horses he's training are owned by the footballers. So you'd think it would have come up. Like, he's like that one's owned by Owen Hargreaves,

who he worked with together. So he's never come up. Or is Jamie Carrigan just not sitting there going? What the fuck are these two talking about? Anyway, I found it really fascinating. The first episode. I still don't know what to make of him. He's just a bloke.

That's fine. No, I think he's, I find him so fascinating. He's constantly positive all the time, which is slightly unsettling. He's like, what? He's constantly like, yeah, you know what I mean? He seems to be really, but he's very competitive as well, which is like. But I also, I think when you're making a reality show, maybe it changes after episode one. Yeah.

There wasn't much at stake, Rob. The first episode, they kept saying stuff like, if he doesn't get a win, today in Chester at Chester races, then maybe it will be bad financially. Yeah. Over the summer. But they're not very clear on that to the point where you go, I don't think that does affect. And then they don't get a winner. They have 11 races and they come second in a few.

Basically, what happens is there's a point where he doesn't sell a couple of horses that he needs to sell. Then what he does, he goes, yeah, you know, and to supplement the million pound loss this I just have to go to work. And then there's like a montage of him just in Asia doing loads of insane adverts in like China and Japan. Right. Where he's like doing after shave and then he's doing commentary.

This is the problem with it. You know when the Osbournes came along and you were like, the reason this is brilliant is no one imagined they actually lived like this. Yeah. When the Owens comes along, I go, yeah, this is exactly how I imagined my clones life. This is, so he's kind of got,

He finances his kind of horse empire with adverts in countries where we don't see the adverts. And his daughter is trying to make it in TV presenting after being on Love Island, Kelse-Prize. And then like, he's got another daughter that's at uni studying sports psychology. Yep, I guess that. Yeah, yeah. His other daughter's doing dressage. Yep.

Tick, tick, tick, tick. And he's got a big house. Big house, teenage street art, met at school, tick, tick, dig. So what is this revealing? Do you know what I mean? The only reveal seems to be that Jamie Kemp, Carragher doesn't know Monclough in has a stables. Surely, they'd chat in between games.

Like, what you're doing at the weekend? He's like, I've come from the stables. He's got a barber jacket on and wellies. Carriger, the moment he hears, the horse talk, walks off, goes, not interested. The jeopardy is. He sort of talks about the stables. He says he loves it. Oh, my God, it's my favourite passion.

That's what I, as a hobby for most people. And then he goes, but, you know, we may not make any money. So, God, I'm going to have to go to work again. And I'm like, well, yeah, that's everyone's life. Like, yeah. People are playing golf. I think that's the problem. But if you're playing golf five days a week,

you're playing golf five days a week, right? And you guys love playing golf. But the problem is, we've just got no money. So we're going to have to go to work. Yeah. You go to work, earn your money. And then on your days off, play golf. And then that's just, that's called life, if you want to do that.

I know there's a bit where his wife says he's just not got any money coming in anymore. So he's got to make the stables work. You're like, I'm really struggling in to care. Just don't, how about don't buy 10 ulcers this year? I need to save money. Don't buy 10 altars. All right. I can't get emotionally invested in the story

about whether my clothing can afford to run his stables. Can I get emotionally invested by the story of his incredibly rich daughter trying to make it as a TV presenter? Now I'm struggling for that as well. I'll be honest with you. Fingers crossed, she gets that job. Oh, please. I loved it.

I think it'll be... The problem is they all seem very nice as well. There's no like... They're no like... Fucking hell, this wife's an absolute nightmare. Do you know what I mean? There's none of that. It's just...

It's the opposite of the real housewives. Yeah, because the reality show is basically, look how mad some people can be. This is, look how normal people are. Here's some really normal people. And the twist is, one of them wants you to not think he's boring. Ha ha ha ha ha.

And that's the main arc. That's the main arc. And at no point does he show that he's not boring. No. There's an absolute, there's a bit in the first episode where he goes, they're filming at Chester Racecourse. Also, I know it, Chester Racecourse isn't an exciting enough place to be doing the first. Do you know what I mean?

If you said to me, like, Michael, that's pretty the nearest one to his house. It's like, we're going to film Rob. Rob's doing it. Beckett reality show, what's he doing? But he's going to drive to Bromley to do a work in progress. And what's he going to do after that? He's going to drive home. And if Lou's still awake, they might watch an episode off on a telly.

But if not, probably go to bed and then wake up and do the school run. Yeah. And do you know what? He wants to show he's not boring. Yeah. And do you know what? He really wants to make golf work for him, but he's shit at it and he's not earning any money from it.

So you may have to go on tour again. And what's Lou like? Really nice. actually. She's writing a book. Oh, what does she do? She sort of just sits and writes all down her office and then gets the kids from school. Yeah. And how are the kids doing? Yeah, they're enjoying school and they're doing well. They're actually fine. Yeah, really good. Yeah. Sometimes, you know, there's a few problems when we speak to the teachers, that gets resolved. And then every weekend we do a dog walk. I mean, to be fair, we are actually shitting on a parent

in hell at the moment. Can I just draw attention to the one last bit in the episode one, which I could, which made me want to go, oh, I can't do this. I'm jealous. You've got more to watch to be honest. When they're in the bar at Chester Racecourse and they're filming, someone goes, you filming or something? And he goes, yeah, the sound man's a bit of a knobbed or something like that. Yeah. And then it kind of pans around to the sound man.

It's like, and Michael Owen's like, oh, he doesn't get my humour. And you're like, oh, mate. It's very David Brent. It's really David. He's lovable. I quite like Michael. It's hard not to like him. He's a nice man who I would.

would say doesn't have the insane weirdness that you need for reality TV. Yes. And it's all, they all look perfectly turned out. It's all very calm. Everything's measured. What you want is chaos, really.

Yeah, exactly. You want. On the other day, for example, I tried to go and get some parcels from the neighbours, and I was wearing some sort of like pyjarmory trousers are a bit too loose fitting. And then I put,

I had to pick up the parcels from the neighbours, and I put my phone in my pocket, which is quite heavy. then by the time I'd got back to my door, my trousers and pants had fallen down. Exactly, exactly. That's not happening to Michael Owen. That's what you want,

all pixelated, that's the start of the show, which is why I guys, listen to Parenting Hell. It's an absolute hoot. But what you don't want is, and I'm going to say it, two minutes on whether he likes Dairy Lee. Did he do that? How many Dairy Lees do you have on a piece of toast? Has this made the edit?

Was that on it? I must have just blanked out. When he's hung over, and he's like, oh, do you like this, Derry Lee? Yeah. How many do you have on a piece of toast? It was, what is going on? I wouldn't, to be fair, Josh,

if someone said they saw you do a gig and that was part of your crowdwork, I would have believed them. Don't have a tip of it with a primula? Oh, you're posh, Philly, Philadelphia. Laughing Cow. No, I'm not, I'm not referring to you, madam. Oh, God, right.

Okay, so see you next week for another installment of Football In Hell? I really enjoy that. I'll try and watch some more Michael Owens. Champions League this week. Multi-screen on TNT Sport. Love bit of that. So what have we got this week? The Champions League is only the Arsenal playing in Napoli.

Yeah, like Napoli. It's basically zero importance due to the new film. Well, this is a problem. This is the problem. This is why we need the European Super League ASAP, Rob. It needs to matter immediately. It needs to matter immediately. Manchester Derby on Sunday.

Could I just ask this now? Yeah. Are we Carrick out, Michael? Am I starting Carrick out? No, I think you're jumping on the Carrier. out bandwagon. What? Someone already started Carrick out?

Well, I didn't want Carrick to get the job full time anyway, because I think exactly what's going to happen was going to happen, which is we played five games last season. We literally played statistically. You couldn't have played as few games as we played because we went out first round in every single cup competition. The squad isn't deep enough. He's not, he's not experienced enough.

We've already started slow. It's so funny. It's so perfect. He will not be there at the end of the. season. Who will be there at the end of the season, Michael? Because they like to change from one to the other, don't they? So they go, wild European.

No, because he's too similar. So it'll go, it'll go, it'll go Carrick. Now it'll have to go like. Tuchel. Yeah, Tudjol. And then it'll be Chris Smalling. And then it'll be. Would you take PEP if he wanted to come?

Oh, that's a good question. Yeah, do you know what I would? if he said, I'll be bringing up my divorce in every team talk. Yeah. That's the kind of person who wanted a reality TV show. I think the job is too big for PEP. I think the job's too. The club is so toxic.

What? What? You're going to get fucking God? Yeah, but they're not going to give him 400 million to spend. He can't spend a, he can't sign a new left back every half a season because he's bored of the recent one. Why have you not got no money? You're the biggest club in the world, yeah?

Yeah, we've got money. We just spend it poorly. I just think it's a poison challenge. Alice, where we are a very long way away from. We were just dead forever? No, not forever. But I think we're at that phase just before they appointed. What's his fair?

Julia. We need someone to come in and do what Julia did. How long ago? Yeah, yeah. Because he rebuilt the club behind the scenes and the reason for the following success is he did. He did. If you speak to the Liverpool people, what Julier did,

even though he didn't win much, changed the landscape of that club internally and behind the scenes and allowed then everything that followed. Have we ended with a good point, Michael? I won't go that far. Have we ended with learning something? It's so funny that the only one who knows about football doesn't speak. Football-wise, games at the weekend on TV, there's Sunderland Arsenal, 8 o'clock on Saturday night, and Tottenham and Everton at 5.30, just before, so that's good.

And then Sunday is Manchester Derby. I went to a very nice barbecue, yes. today, Rob. Yeah, okay. Everyone was lovely. Hulu me. And we had a lovely time, but there was zero mention of the football,

and I didn't know what to do. Oh. I just couldn't believe. I thought... They'd have it on a screen? Yeah. Now, I would... Is anyone there that you know likes football normally?

Well, I don't think so, because I didn't know everyone, and I think... I think I was the only football fan. Personally, I'm going, Everett, May United's on. Should we stick it on? And they're going.

And if they say no, I just put it on my phone and have it on silent on the table. Watch it on your phone? Yeah, just on the table. I'm chatting away, but anything good happens, I pop down here. Oh, man. Do you think that's acceptable?

No, but I don't care. What they're going to do? Do you see what Rob did? He had his phone out with the football on? Yeah. End the conference, yeah. All right, then. Okay, all right.

So your anecdotes better than Arsenal Chelsea. Off you go. I'm in. Come on. Come on. Your anecdote, better than J.P. Morgan, up against Gabrielle and Ezri Konse. I've known you for 10 years.

Have I ever repeated a story you've told me? Nope. But I turn up, a smile to make the whole world go around and make it normal. Okay? So, why do you let me have a little bit of football on and you can talk to your shit? What's that? Someone's personalised this for his own issues. Or I just don't go.

I'll just, like, we, we socialised in the morning. It was Sunday morning socialising. I might say next time, Oh, I've got to watch this for the pod. Yes. See, that's the gesture in a good way. The much more, you know, smoother, as opposed to me immediately having an argument with someone's wife.

What's the worst case in Arroyo is, your friend's wife doesn't like you? Oh, yeah. Bothert. Bob, I'm friends with a wife. Does she like football? Women do like football. I've got my friend Harriet coming over to watch the Manchester Derby at the weekend.

I've got female friends, actually. Of course. I love women. See you later. Bye.