Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - Loose Neck vs. Stiff Neck

Episode Date: August 1, 2025

As we take a very short break during the summer holidays - here’s a selection of some of our favourite chats about (mostly) parenting misadventures with previous guests…  We’ll see you in a week or so for the start of Series 11!! Episode Playlist: 1. Romesh Ranganathan (The 3rd) 2. Cush Jumbo 3. Richard Osman 4. Lily Allen 5. Frank Skinner If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available free everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please follow and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx MAILING LIST: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Record-breaking global sensation Chris Brown presents Breezy Bowl 20 Stadium World Tour. Celebrate 20 years of Chris Brown live in Toronto, performing at Roger Stadium, due to demand second show at it August 20th. With special guests Summer Walker and Bryson Tiller. Get tickets now at LiveNation.com. Don't miss the biggest R&B event of the year. For more, visit Chris Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to

be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice, and of course,

tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing. ["The Star Spangled Banner"] Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Whitacombe. there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing. Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Whitacombe. And you're listening to Now That's What I Call Parenting Hell. Shall I do the intro? You can do the intro. Welcome, Ramesh. What? We always know this. I know we know each other, but a little bit of build up would be nice. You might recognise him from The Weakest Link from...

It's Not Rocket Science. It's Not Rocket Science, Judge Ramesh. He's Death on Live TV as part of Soccer AM. Yes. How's your intro for that Ramesh? Welcome back. Yeah, like it. Like it, yeah. Welcome back.

You're our third time. Yeah. How many people have you had on three times? Just people that want to keep promoting. That's who we are. Team pluggers. Luckily, I've got enough projects on the go that I could be a weekly guest. Any reason you do Wolf an Hour, isn't it?

Yeah, basically. You came up with your contractual commitment to the podcast. What are we talking about? What are we talking Anyways, you do Wolf an Hour, isn't it? Yeah, basically. You keep up with your contractual commitments. What are we talking about? What are we talking about this week on Wolf an Hour? It's my new show that I've got, actually. It's just Tom Davis's podcast. No one's realised he just puts the same guest every week. Welcome back, Rom.

For the uninformed listeners, three kids, what ages are they now? Three boys. We've got three boys, 14, 12 and nine. Right, okay. So you're heading into pubes town. It's getting older. Teenage boys. Men. You've got men under the roof. Yeah, it's slightly, well, it is like having a bloke in the house. I mean, he's almost as tall as me now. I'm living with a young man that's grown up in Crawley. Do you know what I mean? So he's quiet. He's like a Crawley bloke.

I've got a Crawley bloke in my house. Do you know what I mean? I don't know if I know enough about Crawley. The only person I know from Crawley is you. Yeah. Well, imagine me, but sort of less socially awkward and actually having some success with women. No, I mean, no, I'd say if you put your eldest son next to you when you were the same age, you'd look like different species. If you'd time travel, if you could never do back to the future. I don't know what you and Lisa have done, but I'd say sort of you've let... Well, I've got an idea.

Let to few... This is parenting hell of you've got an idea. Let me have you. You this is parenting hell. You've got no idea. I mean, the evolution of man chart, I'd say you've gone a few levels up in one generation. For what I would say is Lisa's genetics have done my bloodline a huge favor. That is summarizing that. Yeah.

Which I'd say, Ron, I'd say is fine for you to say. But yeah, for me and Rob who are white to say that Lisa's genetics have done your bloodline a good service. I certainly hope that Lisa's not on some you know, some other podcast going I've done Romesh's bloodline a favor. Oh, your son's so handsome. Must be all the white in him. We diluted that brown right out and actually when you really get it down low enough, it's actually quite appealing. She was dealing with double concentrate and she's really,

really diluted that there. So you've got a crawly bloke in your house. Yeah. And do you get on with him like a mate? A little bit, yeah. It's sort of, it's three levels of parenting actually, because like our youngest is sort of, I mean he's nine, but because he's the youngest of three, he's quite babied, do you know what I mean? So, yeah, I'm going with him and he wants hugs and sort of, you know, messing around and like, you know, he does, I'll play Fortnite with him a bit and stuff. The middle one is really into tech and stuff, so I go in in there into his room and he'll talk to me about the iPhone 15 for 45 minutes.

And then you go into, you go into... What kind of chat is he having about that? Mate, he's like obsessed with tech. So like, so whenever we're buying anything, I go into him and it's like going into curries, he'll start giving me the breakdown of the various And another line you can only say, not us. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

Yeah. But he knows all about the specifications of it and stuff and what he can do. Yeah, and all that. And he's like, he's like deep dived into like YouTube videos on, you know, different bits of tech and like cameras and stuff. I don't, he's super into it. I don't even understand half what he's saying, to be honest with you.

And then the eldest one is just a bit of a, he's quite, I wouldn't say he's quiet. He's not like life and stuff, but he is, he's very cool. You know, he sort of makes you wanna be his mate. Do you know what I mean? So I sometimes go into his room and I'm a bit thirsty, to be honest with you. But it is like having a mate, Jimmy, not all like sort

of exchange music, like recommendations and stuff like that. And some, but it's got, he's got to the point now where he started to, I say it's got to the point. It's been like this for the last couple of years. He does find me embarrassing. Like, I don't know if I said this last time I was on, but he actually shoved me when we're at a restaurant because I was being embarrassingly loud. I was sort of, I was sort of telling a story. Well, I was just sort of telling a story. I was telling in an animated way and like the younger two were laughing and I thought I started warming to my theme. I was like, yeah, okay.

That's like, he's pretty good at the end of the day, isn't it? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I was running some gear out, do you know what I mean? And, um, and, um And in the middle of it, he just goes, Dad, can you just like, can you just keep it down a bit, please? And I was like, Mate, listen, I said, these people will be glad to be getting a show from the great Ramesh Ranganathan. But yeah, he started to find me a bit embarrassing. When I saw him the other day, you were saying that he's trying to nick your trainers because you're the same size.

Not necessarily trying to nick my mate. So they're really into like dance and performance and stuff like that, right? So a few weeks ago, we were going to, they were going to, what's it called? Musical Con or something. It's like a, it's like a it's like a event like comic but like comic for musicals right so so I was so I can see when you Google your glasses still on the setup I'll be back for the last don't worry. Come on.

He's got my story before I do this new material I don't know if there is a lot for the end of this it might just all be set on the bottom of the best fake laughers in the business, mate. I heard this in a restaurant. It's not that good. Yeah, he overheard it in Carluccio's. So anyway, I was doing Saturday Kitchen in the morning and then I was meeting them at Musical Con afterwards.

So I went over there. That's not a day. I know, incredible, right? So I went over there. I know incredible right. So I got some abuse off Saturday Kitchen by the way. I didn't think it was a controversial show but I managed to get into some controversy for it. So do you know you do Food Heaven or Hell? Yes. Yeah. Right. So my Food Heaven was sticky toffee pudding. Right. So we got Food Heaven and like you know they bring the meals. It's always food heaven. It's always food heaven. Yeah. I mean, I think if it's food hell,

the interview has probably not gone well. So we're giving Ramesh raw meat as voted for by the public. So they gave me sticky toffee pudding and like normally, you know when they bring over the other meals or whatever you sort of share it out. I just ate it to myself and then because I thought that's what you're supposed to do. I just ate, it's my food heaven. So I ate it. I left on my way to musical con. I look at my phone, just my phone's blowing up with people calling me a greedy bastard. Like a selfish clown. You know when you leave a thing, especially live TV, I mean Josh I know you're used to it, but like when you leave a thing just going, I think that went all right. And then you look straight away you get an immediate response and you go, oh right, okay, well that was unfortunate gentlemen, I thought it had gone well. Who didn't you share it with?

Was there another guest? I can inform you if you want. Matt Tether with Jack Croft, Will Murray, Sophie Mitchell, and special guest, Romesh Ranganathan. Are they the people that come on because they know about like whiskey? No, they ran a restaurant. I've actually been to that restaurant since.

Oh, here we go. Well, no, no, I paid for the meal. I don't know what you're insinuating. I wasn't insinuating anything. Well, you said, here we go. Did you scoff all the food on your own and tell a story too loud? Dirty little Toffee. He sat on his own, but he's still telling a fucking story. Did you just call me a dirty little Toffee?

I mean, I forgot that Toffee's a brown and then it erases. And obviously you're a huge Everton fan. Thank God. I'm a fan of the Toffee. I'm a fan of the Toffee. I'm a fan of the Toffee. I'm a fan of the Toffee. I'm a fan of the Toffee.

I'm a fan of the Toffee. I'm a fan of the Toffee. I'm a fan of the Toffee. I'm a fan of the Toffee. I'm a fan of the Toffee. I'm a fan of the Toffee. I'm a fan of the Toffee. I'm a fan of the Toffee. I'm a fan of the Toffee. I'm a fan of the Toffee. I forgot that toffees are brown and then it raises. And obviously you're a huge Everton fan. Thank God.

Yeah. I just got a wonderful goodness and parts screaming you big toffee at people. Anyway, anyway, I go to music, I go to musical con and I go to find least in the Excel, I go and find Lisa and the kids and she says, Theo is in the middle of a, in the middle of a class. He's doing some dance. He the 14 year old. Yeah, he's a 14 year old. Yeah. So I walk into the to watch him in the dance class. He's doing dance like street dance, like on his toes and all that in a brand new pair

of my Jordans. He's just so not only is he wearing them, he's like doing spins on them. Do you know what I mean? He's like, well, he's not moonwalking. They, you know, they don't, they don't favor that anymore, but he's doing all sorts of stuff. Macarena. I think a dance move. He's doing like... He's trying to think of dance moves. He's doing Agadu, Jimmy's shit, Superman.

He's upside your head. On his own, you can't get a trip together, no, he really wants to. Hello, Kostrumbi. Hello. There's the intro. That's it done. Thanks for doing this. We're very excited.

Thanks for having me. It's so nice to come on something where you can, like, actually talk about real stuff rather than just your hack thing all the time. Oh, yeah. Like, when you have to go on the one show, and if you're doing something that's quite deep, you have to go like, yeah, well, it was a very difficult thing

to portray and stuff. But you can be yourself here and say what you want. So talk to us about Macbeth. You mean the Scottish play? Yes. The Scottish play. Sorry. Sorry.

I know. I always call it Macbeth. It drives people mad. They refer to it as a Scottish play to make you feel better. And then I just say Macbeth and it makes them feel like they've been cursed. So I quite like it. So what's going on? Why can't you say Macbeth?

Here we go. The classic Macbeth. Right, Rob. There's a big theatrical tradition across hundreds and hundreds of years. Yeah. That if you say the word, I mean, even the fact we're talking about it means I'm going to get so much shit for this. Who from?

If you say Macbeth while you're working on Macbeth, it's supposed to be bad luck. Right. Okay. So people don't call it Macbeth, they call it the Scottish play. Okay, right, okay. So you have to call it that when you're working on it. Does Tennant say Macbeth? We all say Macbeth. Also break a leg, Pete, so you can't say good luck. Yeah, I think it's one of those things that's like wrapped up in Victoriana somewhere, like maybe no one liked saying the word or they were like, they were like, people won't know what the play is about. How will we invite people to come to see it?

How will people know what it is? Macbeth means nothing. We'll call it the Scottish play. People will know that it's set in Scotland. You know, like how my show called Cricut Record to help people who don't get it. I was like, all these deep names we could call our show, like we could call it like, you know, this and that.

They're like, yeah, but that doesn't really say what it is. Are you aware of the Sky Planner? Are you aware of people that just go through the Sky Planner? They need to know exactly what it is. Now I am. Channel 5, fucking boss that. Every time you go past channel 5 on the Sky Planner it's literally a description of the show. Yeah life on narrowbo. 20 moments from 2024. Anyway you've got children Kush or a child? Yeah, calm down there. I've got one, just one. One.

What age are we dealing with Kush? Don't speak for my womb. Yes, I've got one. I've got one child called Maximillian. Oh, lovely. He's just turned six yesterday. Oh, how was the birthday? Good one. Well, okay. Funny you ask. This is like therapy. You can go really deep.

So his actual birthday was yesterday and that was a great day. Gave him presents in the morning, went in really happy to school, took in 30 caterpillar cakes for the class with me, having trolled every email I've possibly ever read about any allergy that any kid had in the past. Oh, gosh. So I was just going to be like, take in Harrybo. And then I suddenly had like a bad feeling that it was a bad idea. But I actually, on Saturday, he's just got into Nintendo Switch very recently.

Oh, yeah. I actually got given it in a goodie bag a few years ago, like an award. And I didn't know it was in there. And I set it up having been one of those like I wasn't much of a gamer as a kid so I was never like oh he's got to have a video game and then you get all the guilt about like should they play video games and stuff like that. Anyway he discovered Mario, Mario Wonder has been playing, really likes it so my mate told me that you could hire the Cineworld for like a couple of hours really early in the morning. It's quite cheap because no one uses it anymore.

They can play Nintendo Switch in the Cineworld. Oh wow. Oh my God, I wanna do that for my birthday. So I did that for his birthday with like eight of his mates. I thought I'd nailed it. I thought it was gonna be great, amazing. And then Peter Hut was literally opposite. It's almost in one of those like industrial parts

where it's like Cineworld, come out, Peter Hut, amazing. And then Peter Hut was literally the opposite. It's almost in one of those like industrial parts where it's like, see in the world, come out, Peter Hut, easy, right? Brilliant. The dream. Great birthday. And then it was all set up. But I thought, I stupidly thought that there'd be somebody there like connecting the controllers and like doing stuff. Oh no. Oh no. Oh my god. And like there's eight controllers. And I also thought- In a fucking cinema. In the cinema. And I also thought if there's eight controllers, and I also thought... In a fucking cinema? No, in the cinema.

And I also thought if there's eight controllers, then obviously every game can be played by eight kids. This is not the case. No. So some of it had to be sharing, or getting into teams, as I called it. Oh, God. Well, I ended up having to orchestrate most of the party,

and I think he really enjoyed it, and his mates really enjoyed it, but I booked that so I would have less work to do. Yes. So I wouldn't have to do the pass the parcel and all the rest of it and actually I ended up giving myself a job like I was in I was basically a buttlicks rep for about four hours. Where did you plug in a switch in a cinema? Where are the wires? Wireless. Oh so you're in this cinema with eight kids on your own. Was it a drop-off party or were their parents there as well? Drop-off.

Fucking hell, mate. Oh, my God. I had one or two of my mum friends stay, either very small mum friend circle, and they immediately went and got me a rose as soon as the bar opened. So you could see, it was all sterile. They kind of strooked me and said, it's okay, the bar opens at 11.

I just went out, got my rose. Genuinely that, and I know it sounds bad, I don't want to be frowned upon, but even on holiday with the kids, after a few days it is just non-stop, in the pool, running here, running there. And they're like, I want to do this, and then they argue over who gets to float,

and you know, it's just classic kid stuff. When we're on holiday at home, they're always bickering but when it gets like mid-dan I've had like I'll just get a little beer. I don't know if it makes parenting easier or you're just just dead to it but it does make a difference. Yeah but do you know what? Imagine if you went to pick up your kids from school and the teachers like come mid-day it got tough mate. I've had a couple of beers this afternoon, sorry. Have you ever walked in towards the end of being one of the early parents to pick up? Which

I'm not there every day like a nanny that helps me as well but sometimes I go and I just catch the energy as I hit the door as she's releasing them back into the wild you know they get to go and they're going yeah that's your one that's your one when it's thrown about and you get there and you catch their energy of like you look in that class and you think fucking hell 32 kids one what yeah she must be like really like that is a lot isn't it that's a lot of little energies in one close place I'm not doing you down here but you've just gone, I had to look after eight children and you had a Nintendo Switch. You didn't have to teach them anything. I'm one of six and I consistently think about like what the hell my parents, like how they were coping with all two

years apart. So it's just like a class of children, constantly, I don't know how they weren't drunk. When you were growing up, did you just sort of like break off into little sections of the siblings, like the sort of the younger three and the older three or? Yeah, because we were also, we were two girls, two boys, two girls, and we were in bedrooms together a lot. And me and my big sister, we danced a lot. So we did a lot of like dance.

In fact, my dance school was in Mottingham, actually. Oh, was it? Which one? It was called Cooper School of Dance, and it was like in a big community, they're all in community centers, like in the States. It was always, I was always like, oh, she made me a broken glass. Always wear broken glass with my tap shoes

to get in the front door. Yeah, Mottingham's a bit lively for a kid to go dancing. Yeah, like grinding on the floor of community centres a lot when I was six or seven. I remember going to a party when I was 15, I was sick outside a church in a bush in Mottingham. So did you grow up around that way? I grew up in Sydney, in Lower Sydenham. Oh yeah, by the massive sage roof. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So you mean the Saver Centre, it was called the Saver Centre. Yeah, it was called the Saver Centre and then it went to Sangeries, but it's huge, isn't it? Biggest, that is biggest in the country. It's the biggest in the country. This is the worst bit of podcasting I've ever done. Sorry.

Sorry. You've got your own way, Josh. Josh, you've got to remember, there was a time when you only used to get food from supermarkets. Yeah, yeah, of course. And then there came a time where you could buy televisions in supermarkets. Yeah. And socks and stuff. And that was the first time that happened in Sydney was Save Center. Oh, yeah. And you get those toys

and there was DVDs. Love it. Yeah. Um, get yourself down there, Josh. Well, I've got a connection to you dancing in Mottingham with your sister. My wife went to the Brit school with your sister. Oh, she was in my sister's year. Yeah. Oh my gosh, what did she study? Oh God, I don't know. She said she just smoked and took herself too seriously.

Yeah, everybody did that. Yeah, it doesn't narrow it down. It just trains you up for being in the creative industries really. Just smoke and smug it up a bit. Yeah, she said she was there with Amy Winehouse. They had a bit of a thing because they had the same coat, but she was acting. And you might say what was her biggest role?

And she auditioned for the advert for Moore magazine that Billie Piper got where she burst the bubble. Wow. That's her big acting story. That was quite a big magazine though at the time. So shove That's a big acting story. That was quite a big magazine, though, at the time. So shove your Macbeth up your arse, mate. I know, right? I was once down to the last two for a cheese strings advert when I was 11. Really?

Interesting. Which is a bit distressing. When I watched the advert, it was the one where all the kids were dancing on the street, like this, going, bend me, shake me, anyway you want. Oh, yeah, I love that advert. And then some of the kids were doing dancing on the street like this going, bend me, shake me anyway you want. Oh yeah, I love that part. And then some of the kids were doing back flips in it. Yeah. What's distressing about that is they made it sound like,

oh, you were down to the last three, like as if they picked one. But actually when you watch it, there's about 35 kids. So essentially, I just didn't make it. Top 40? Top 60, yeah. You got down to the last 40 for that job. Do you know what every every commercial audition when you were a kid back then in the 90s when no one knew what they were doing

was you popped to CNA just before to get something good to wear and then you went there and they would literally just put on poplites and go okay kids you like cheese have a good time and it would just be kids in a room just yes oh my god and then they go you you you're through is there things you've auditioned for whether when you've seen who it's gone to you've gone you've got to be Yes. And I'll say that yes and yes and we'll leave it at that. Hello Richard Osmond. Hello Josh Riddickham. How are you? I'm very good.

How are you? Who is this gentleman? Hi Rob here. I'm Josh's assistant. I take notes. Work experience. Pretty much. Yeah, lovely.

We're doing it in person Richard, which is exciting. It's much more fun doing it in person I think. I don't know because I find it weird. I like it. He doesn't like being in the room with us No, I know. I love being in the room with you. But for a podcast to face me. I Haven't got face for telling you but I think sometimes not in person. Yeah, I don't even like the camera on really Yeah, I'm experiencing what the person's saying the same words to the listener So if you listen to this as a punter just as a general listener, you don't see each other's faces and what

they're doing. Do you want to close your eyes? How's that for you though? Because I'm just sat with my eyes shut. Why am I being warned about this? A basement in Soho? Just slip this mask on Rob, will you? I'm just popping my trousers down Richard. But we're very excited to have you. We've wanted to have you on the podcast for years. Really? I didn't know what to do and should have asked. We did, but you said in person it was locked down. At one point I messaged you and you said you didn't have a laptop, which I just thought was fucking mental. And you said I didn't have a laptop with the internet on or something.

No, I think I don't like doing podcasts at home, so I'd always say, oh, I don't have the tech. Yeah, I know, but that's weirder than just saying I don't like doing podcasts at home, so I'd always say, Oh, I don't have the tech. Yeah, but that's weirder than just saying I don't like. If you said I don't like doing podcasts at home. No, but people take offense then because they get people to go. Yeah, well, ours, though, ours is quite a fun one. Yeah, we've never said that. Yeah, good. Well, they'll say, all we need you to do is think of 14 things.

You have to think of. What's your guilty pleasure? Nothing. You shouldn't be judged on what you like. Yeah exactly. And then that's what kills the mood. What's your perfect Sunday? Not this. Not thinking of this stuff. I'm a zero prep guy that's my joke. Are you the same? Yeah I am really. Usually the first thing I say is gonna be the best thing you're gonna get out of me by and large the more prep I do. So you're a briefing call guy when you do a panel show. Yeah. Last leg or something, if they call you up and briefing call you...

I'm alright. Do you refuse it? No, don't refuse it. Of course not. No. It's always good to talk to people. And it calms the producers down. Yeah. Do you know what? That's always the thing, producers. You know the thing when... Bloody producers, eh? Now you're on the other side. I always remember when... Yeah, honestly, what's their problem? I always remember whenever a young comic starts getting big, and you boys both went through this, you'll get booked on shows. One of the big things is they send you a car.

And every young comic is like, oh my God, I've made it. Like, they sent me a car because I'm pretty big time now. And the truth is a producer doesn't send you a car because you're big time. A producer sends you a car because they need to know Where you are it's a cinch. Yeah, like having a bug because they don't trust you They know you're an idiot. They tell you to turn up to the studio two hours early Yeah, because they know you always do as late Yeah, and they need to know that you're in a car and the person who's driving that car can ring them

Yeah, so they need and also they know when you've been picked up and a bit of a backstage from the last leg for years Alex Brooker didn't know that. So he was giving his excuses for being late. No. Not knowing. That the cab driver said he's only got in. They had a record of when he was getting in the car. Sorry the car didn't show up.

Sorry guys the car was late. And they're like, oh Alex. He should know by now shouldn't he? He does know by now. Well he certainly knows now. He certainly knows now. He's very should know by now shouldn't he he does know by now he certainly knows now he certainly knows now he's very good Alex Brooker isn't he he's my favourite on that show yeah I mean cuz you need one comedian otherwise he's just two journalists yeah well he melds it together yeah like you think

cuz Adams got a tough job live show hold it all together the screen like that then you've got the sort of news anchor person way that you do and then funnies with Brooker. I was watching one the other night, it was that Mel B was on. It was a new record for, you can always tell when Alex has got a joke, right? So I'm going to say something, and Alex will go, it's like, but Mel B is not used to working with comics maybe, she talks so much, I think he did six. Oh, it's like when, but God bless him, he's still got it out. LAUGHS

Come on, Mel! I was really counting on it. I was like, what's Brooker got here? He's got something about the thing that Adam said about two and a half minutes ago now. And it must be good, because it's such a big gap there. Yeah. Poor old Melby. I'd say you and Alex Brooker fall into the same pool, which is people that you book not

as comedians but they're as good as comedians. Yes. So you'd book them on A League of Their Own or Last Leg or something. I've always been lucky like that because by and large when people watch you on things, if you boys are on something they go, go on then make me laugh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's your job. Whereas with me they're like, oh why is that's the guy from pointless is on this show yeah so

since you do a joke they're like oh my god this guy you've seen the guy he doesn't do jokes he just did a joke i bet john grisham's not this funny it's like yeah all have to be as funny than john grisham whereas you have to be funnier than steve martin hardest job in the world rob in it toughest job in the world doctor actually both isn't it? Toughest job in the world. Doctor, actually, both nurses and doctors, that'd be bloody up. The comedian then doctor, then novelist. Well, that's what I think. So you are an author now. Yes, I am.

Officially a really successful one. There's probably a stat backing up as most successful one ever or something. More than Donaldson? Excuse me? Who? More than Julia Donaldson? Julia Donaldson has a long back catalogue. Great answer.

Great answer. So she sells, you know. Pound for pound. She's still selling Gruffalos. You know what I mean? Not personally. She wrote that a long time ago. It's done. It's done years ago and like every week just the money just keeps running in for Donaldson and the guy who did the pictures. Axel Scheffler. I do think that Donaldson, like obviously she wrote the Gruffalo but who drew the Gruffalo? Axel Scheffler. I know, but he doesn't get enough respect. They 50-50 it!

Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah, that's the... I was going to call him a drawerist. That's put me off writing a picture book. Not a drawerist. No, no. Illustrator.

Illustrator, not drawerist. I shouldn't be the vocab man in the room. Yeah, Scheffler is... Oh, he's raking in. Don't you worry about Scheffler. Oh, yeah, if you went to Scheffel's house, you'd take your long time to find a loo. And Doralton lives in quite a small house. No she doesn't.

She does. No. Isn't that one of her books? How do you know? Because, Donaldson lives in a very small house. There's a cow in there. She opens the door.

Moo. There is that story about a house. She opens the window. Bah, ah, ah, ah. Well that's true, what's that book? What, Donaldson's book, Room on the Broom? No, not that one, there's one about a house where there's not enough room

in the room or something. Is there? Was it not just an email to her estate agent? Sheffield. She does live in a small house somewhere. No way. Yeah. Let's talk about your empire, husband.

What you got? We've got a place in Brooklyn. There's nothing on the opposite side. We got locked. You're fucking loaded. No, listen, honestly, listen, we're not preparing to podcast my left home. I don't need the space anymore.

Oh, right. Yeah, of course. Okay. And that's a producer. Oh, of course. Okay, and that's a producer Is this someone trying to get evasive about how big their houses that's what that is you don't give a fuck about this show You sort of flog you knew but what's it called last devil to die last September the 14th? So the fourth in the series the fourth in the Thursday Murder Club series people seem to be loving it, which is lovely You've got two kids. I do, yeah.

How old are they? They are 25 and 23. Just going back to 23. How often do you hear from a 25 and a 23-year-old? I mean, I would say enough. No, it's interesting that because sometimes you think, I haven't heard from them in a little while. Is that bad parenting on my part? is it bad childrening on their part?

And then I think back to when I was 25, how often I talked to my mom, like maybe like once a month. I said, because we didn't have email back in those days. And I just thought, and that seemed to work out all right, I still love her, she still loves me. It's okay, so you have to slightly go, oh, it's okay that there'll be a few days go by

and you haven't spoken to them or miss them. But yeah, no, I hear from them a lot, which is lovely, and one of them's just around the corner from us, which is good. But no, honestly, it's great. I love that they're out there in the world. I love that they're self-funding. They're not like looking at the book charts going, Dad. Yeah, come on, mate. Come on, mate. Do us a favour. You're saying what? Julie L. Donaldson's kids driving around. Yeah. I say, yeah, you've seen the house she lives in though. Come on, mate. No, it's great, you know, I did your live show and the one thing I felt I could pass

along to that audience, because they look knackered. Yeah. Oh my God. I mean, listen, they were making noise, but a lot of it was sort of, you know, what? Yeah. It's a tough gig because everyone in that room wants to go to bed. Oh, they're steeped down. I tell you, Manford is the only person I've seen

start his show with, just so you know, will be done by 9.45. Yeah. Do you know what? And he's right to do it because TV shows, you always know when they're finished. Yes, yeah. But you go and see live shows like theatre sometimes.

Oh, I hate it. You have to look it up and just go three hours. Oh my God. That's why I've never go to Bruce Springsteen. Oh no, I never would. No. I never would. No, thank you. It's too long. Yeah. Do 45 minutes. no, I never would. No, thank you.

It's too long. Yeah. Do 45 minutes. Oh, and they would love it, wouldn't they? I'd never go over 10 p.m. with my shows, my tour shows. It's too much. Start at 9.30, don't you? Yeah.

Quarter to 10 sometimes, I feel like. 15 minutes of gold, everyone's like, no. That's why I love Edinburgh, it's an hour. And that's about the amount of time you should watch someone. Yes, I agree. I think maybe, you know, a little interval or something. But yeah, where do we get onto this? You were talking to the crowd. Obviously they had younger kids, a lot of the audience, apparently in Hell Live. Yes, yes, yes. But yeah, some of your advice was quite good. Yeah, no, I was

saying that because it's hard with young kids and it really is hard. So yeah, people are feeling bad about themselves. Really don't. There's very few harder things psychologically, emotionally, and just physically than bringing up kids, especially if you've got a few of them or if you've done it by yourself. But people always say, never ends though. Honestly, it never ends. Once you've got them, that's it forever. It's just, listen, it changes, but it's always as hard. And that's absolute bullshit.

It gets so much easier. And pretty much every turn. When you go to school it gets a bit easier, but then you you've got, oh I've got to do Nativity plays. Yeah, there's a bit of admin and they've got swimming and picking up. Book day and all of that kind of stuff. But yeah, as soon as they're old and they just hang out with their mates and you're like... But even school is easy. Like you're going, alright so I've got to do a school run and then I'm up against it and then maybe I'll have to work this evening. But then when they

go to sleep tonight, they're asleep. Yeah. Yeah. I mean they wake up every two hours. Yeah that is so tough. Because it gets to the point where your kids start waking up at midday because they're teenagers or they get up at like 2pm and there's a certain type of parent of course who's like no no we must wake them up because we've got to go hiking. But if you're not that sort of parent and I am not, you look at your watch, you go, it's 2 p.m. I've watched the Saturday lunchtime football game already, and he's not even awake yet. You know, it makes me feel better about myself if someone's still asleep.

I'm like, right, I'm getting stuff done. Yeah. And also, you're the protector of the house. Yeah. You know, people are sleeping upstairs. Someone would have burst in. You're there. Yeah. Unless it's a really good bit of football. Oh, yeah. Then it's so he's house. Yeah. You know, people are sleeping upstairs. Someone would have burst in, you're there. Yeah, unless it's a really good bit of football. Oh yeah, then he's upstairs. Yeah. Lily Allen.

Hello. Hello, how are you? I'm good, how are you? We're very good, we're very good. Thank you for doing, oh shit. We've already thanked you off air too many times. I told you, if you do it one more time, I'm gonna get, I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna have to be honest with you, Lilly. Josh is a really big fan. I'm a big fan of your music to the level. Yeah, but it's a bit too much of a fan. If I ever make a playlist for someone, I'll always put the song Cheryl Tweedy by you on the playlist. I think it's a masterpiece.

Is that your favorite me song? No, but you can't put the classics, can you? You gotta show that you're kind of, you've got to give them a curve ball, right? When you're making playlists. Deep cuts of Lily Allen. The deep cuts of Lily Allen. So Josh, what I would say is he has to get it out early doors

or otherwise he keeps saying thank you. If I'm a big fan of someone's work, then I'll just say thank you for coming on the podcast a lot. You know what? This is reminding me. The other day I was on holiday in Kenya and we ran into do you know the artist Jack Boniotti? Oh yeah yeah of course yeah. Was it Torn on the Platform is that what that is song?

Yeah. Yeah and he was talking I was talking about the olden days and he was like saying he was like yeah God do you remember the Bush Hall gig which was like one of my first gigs and I was like oh my God you're such a fan And I can't believe you came to those shows. And he was like, I was supporting you, you moron. I was like, oh. Awkward. And you just sat on a Land Rover in Kenya, looking at your ass as that goes on.

We went on safari. Did you bump into Jack Penyati in Kenya? Yeah, we ran into him in a hotel on this island called Lamu. Oh wow. If you're not in Kenya for the safari, what's happening in Kenya? Why are you going there on holiday?

I've not heard of it other than safari. You know what? I went there to meet Makeda Ronover, my co-host of my podcast. Yeah. Miss me? She missed me. Are you just making it up for a great segue

into the promo? Oh yeah, I made it up. I'm getting good at this. No, I had been to India with my husband for Christmas because my ex-husband had my children. So we planned this trip for ages and we got there and it was really cold. Oh.

Because we forgot to check what hemisphere it was in. Yeah, I just sort of imagine India's whole all the time, but it's not, is it? Yeah, right. So I went there for 10 days and then I got back and felt like I hadn't really been on a holiday, but I had to wait around because we were applying for our green cards.

And so we were like waiting for our passports to come back. And Makita was on holiday with her mom in Kenya and I was jealous. So I literally just booked a ticket. I didn't even ask her. And then I just turned up. Just turned up? Yeah.

No, I did actually call her. I said, would you mind if I booked a ticket and came and joined you? And she said, no, not at all. That'd be great. And I said, good, because I've already done it. So it was like T4 on the Kenyon beach. Exactly.

With you three, a little reunion. Exactly. You've got two children. Lock on my chest, yeah. For our listeners, you've got two children. Long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, heading towards the transition. Right, yeah. One of them is very cuddly, the younger one. The other one's not so cuddly, but adores me and is obsessed with me. So I am not there yet. It's funny because the younger one is like,

you can tell that she wants to be a grownup, but she also really still like craves the cuddle, like wants to crawl into bed and watch TV and she's still a baby. And what's it like moving to them to America? Is it a different parenting culture over there or is it? Is it a different parenting culture? I mean, there's a lot of focus on play dates in America,

which is like a bit different. I feel like in England, having your friend over for tea is something that happens like once every couple of weeks or something maybe. Whereas they seem to have play dates like every effing day. And do you have to be there, is it as much bonding for the parents as the kids or do you just drop them off at the door and then go to the shops for a couple of hours or do you have to be there as well? Usually it will be if they're going to someone else's house

then the parent will pick them up from school and take them to their house. Right. I'll go and pick her up after dinner. Oh that's not too bad then. I thought the way you said it was felt like you had to be friends with the parents as well, which I find quite overwhelming. I don't really mind. I kind of hit bit arm's length, you know?

But you want to see the house they're going to, don't you? You want to be able to see where they're going, but you don't want to have to sit there and have a coffee with someone you don't know. When I forget an address, I like put it in Google Maps and look at the outside of the house. Really? To know where they're going? I'm like...

I think we all do that. You want to know where your kid is, don't you? And I'm like, Marnie, what does Jennifer's parents do? On Zoopla. Oh, I love a Zoopla. How have they got a five-bedroom townhouse? Yeah, it's funny. I think everyone does that.

You can't help it, can you? No. It's bad, isn't it? But I think it's just intrigue. I'm the same. If they go from 100 percent, I go, oh, do you get that? I'm like, no, I don't. I'm like, no, I don't.

I'm like, no, I don't. I'm like, no, I don't. I'm like, no, I don't. I'm like, no, I don't. I'm like, no, I don't. I'm like, no, I don't. I'm like, no, I don't. I'm like, no, it's funny. I think everyone does that. You can't help it, can you? No. It's bad, isn't it? But I think it's just intrigue. I'm the same. If they go from 100%, I go, I'll get the address and I'll pick them up later. Yeah. And then you're like, let's have a look at that. And then you go, oh, blimey, they put, one million they paid for that last year. What does he do? Or when they turn up in a flash car, you're like, okay. Well, what I find really intriguing is the super flash car,

modest house or modest car, mental house. I'm like, what's going on here? Well, really rich people don't do things like buy flash cars or fancy clothes. Yeah, that's what they say about the experts on succession. So the people won't actually have that good of furnished house or stuff, because they're not-

They're not like that. They're not into it. And for your kids in New York, Lily Allen being their mom is that a non-event there, whereas in this country, if Lily Allen's your mom, that's a huge deal. What's it more like in New York? Is it a bit more?

I wouldn't say I'm a non-event. I don't know. I'm just actually. No, but you know what I mean? It's not, you know, as being in London where you grew up, Jack Pena, are you coming in the school going? Yeah, I mean, you know what, actually now,

I mean, there are kids that do know who I am at their school. Yeah. You know, sometimes when I walk them home, like there'll be like a little group of girls that like sort of follow us and then they sort of stare at me at the zebra crossing. And you're wearing a big dress and trainers, obviously.

Obviously, yeah. On the school run. You're not wearing, yeah. They don't really, although my oldest one, sometimes I catch her listening to my music in her room. Oh, do you? Yeah, it's quite sweet. And you know, now there seems to be like every so often, one of my songs like has a bit of a resurgence on TikTok.

Yeah. Yeah. You know, that's quite fun when that happens. And at Christmas, when your Keen cover is everywhere, do they listen to that? A fan of that song, are you? No. You not?

Lise doesn't like that song. I do like the song when it's sung by Keen, but not me. It is very annoying. No, we do not listen to that song in my house. We don't listen to any of the other music in my house. I've never been like, well, actually, I like back in the day when I used to drink. That was so quick. The change. When I used to drink and do whatever else, then yeah, you know, I'd be like, have a listen

to this that I wrote in the studio yesterday. And everyone's like, oh God, do we have to? And I'm like, yes, listen to this verse. It's genius. If it makes you feel better, Lily, you win. Oh no, I know where this is going. Josh, this is unfair. He wrote a book about 90s TV and he once started reading out passages of it. Growing up in the 90s.

In the green room of the last leg. Not to everyone, just to the person I was with, I just got sent a copy of the book and I was like, I'm really proud of this. And long story short, I don't drink anymore. Yeah, do you know what what it's funny because in England we're not meant to do that sort of thing. Yeah. In America you would be expected to do that and that would be celebrated. Yeah and that's one of the reasons that I sort of live there because I think

it's a much more encouraging environment for people. You don't, people don't cut you down for being like proud of your accomplishments. They tend to lift you up. It gets a bit nauseating sometimes, but I think on the whole it's a good way. Way more positive and everyone's sort of enthusiastic for other people where Britain does want to drag you down. Yeah. But I do think, you know, you've worked hard all day on producing The Last Leg. As a runner, the last thing you need is Josh reading the book to you. It wasn't a runner, Rob. It was someone I was giving the book to because they'd asked for a copy. But in fact, I go, before I give this to you, yeah, I've signed it.

Don't worry about that. Let me read a bit. No, I was just, do you know what? I'm sorry for being proud of my work. You should be ashamed. I should be ashamed of everything I've done in my life Rob. Like all good English people. Exactly. So do you find like that there's a different culture in the schools and stuff over there? Is it much more kind of there isn't that kind of enforced humbleness that we have then? What you mean like in their in their style of teaching? Or just in terms of the

kids and the culture over there like is it much more like proud of themselves, much more kind of positive? Does that come down? Yeah, I think so. I think it is. I think there's a lot more encouragement and also not being ashamed of your failures. Like people really seem to be into the idea of that, you know, failure teaches you things. Yeah. Whereas in England it's like, no, you're not good at that.

Move on, do something else. Whereas in America it's like, you know, what did you learn from that? The Neighbours was on twice a day. That's what I learned from Josh's book. I think you just need to move on, Rob. Hello Frank Skinner. Hello. We are very, very happy to have you on. Dream guest, dream guest.

We've been waiting a long time, Frank. I'm sorry about that. No, it's all right. It's all right. The good things come to those who wait, et cetera. How are you? I'm splendid. Thank you very much.

I'm still, you know, pass around Biden style. I am refusing to stand down. That is the. Let's talk about parenting. You've got one son. Yes. How old is he? He's 12. He's 12.

I'm actually met him didn't I? I met you guys at the Download Festival with Ramesh. Yeah, yeah. We were so drunk, I felt really bad. You know when you bump into like, what is a really lovely father-son day out and the son's still quite young and you're just tumor-ruled in drunk lunatics. I was like, oh God, we're too pissed. Well, I didn't notice it.

You were less drunk than Ramesh. So I... He was really bad. In context, you almost see it over. And so is the download festival, is he into heavy metal music? He's massively into heavy metal. Yeah. And are you into heavy metal music? Well, I was into heavy metal when I was about 15, 16, 17,

and then sort of punk happened. And I got into that, moved into all the sorts of things. But it's all come back to me now, the lure of heavy metal. Yeah. And also to get older, someone really screaming and playing a low guitar is one of the few things that gets through the fog. I've taken to it again and discovered new bands. We were at a thing called 2000 Trees a couple of weeks ago,

which is another festival. We saw ACDC at Wembley. Oh wow. Yeah, we got Alice Cooper and Slipknot coming up this year. Was that December, the Slipknot one? Yeah, that's right. It's sort of Christmas. It's sort of a Slipknot.

Yeah, it'd be lovely. We get the boat back from the O old, it's sort of 23rd, 21st of December. It will feel like a Christmas experience. And so is that your thing? Like, is that your kind of father-son bonding thing is heavy metal music? Well, it's that and Doctor Who. So he's got Doctor Who. And he said to me, do you think we could go back not to the very beginning of Dr. Who, but the beginning of revival 2005 and watch every episode. And that for me, Oh,

like being in a hotel room and that woman saying, I'm not going to say, what I'm saying is it's always better when it's their idea. And what are you like as a dad, Frank? Because I can't call it, do you know what I mean, having met you? It was a bit like, I know when this podcast first started, it was about home schooling and all that stuff. Yeah. I went into home schooling. I thought this is going to be so good.

I will be like Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society and I'll be really inspirational. And day one, I was saying to him, eight and eight. What is the thought about that? And I've got that. I've got a bit of irritability in me. Because you find you're obviously incredibly bright. You're like fast in terms of wit, but also you are interested in so many things. You've got a huge kind of hinterland, should they say. And like, you know, as you said, in TV,

you're dealing with people possibly who aren't as, you know, good as you. Do you find then with a child difficult to kind of deal with the fact that they don't understand poetry and classical music, opera? No, they don't. It's not that. I mean, it's very, very unusual for me to have a person I mean, it's very, very unusual for me to have a person in my life who I don't mind being funnier than me.

Is that the first time that's ever happened? Yeah. So I can be genuinely, if he says something funny, I can be genuinely pleased almost not quite as if I'd said it myself. Yes. There's a sort of selflessness. And you didn't have that with David Baddiel? I don't remember him ever making me laugh. That's not true.

Can I make that clear? He phones me on my heartiest things. If I say anything like that, clearly lighthearted, he'll f*** me up and say, I heard about that thing you said. Oh really? Yeah. I'll speak to it once, he was going on about a critic that wrote something about it, I mean like 1999, which was like last year.

He still remembers it. He keeps me on a pretty tight leash as far as I think of these as like body jokes, you know, but he takes them as personal slights. So I have to keep them at a minimum. Okay. All right. And is he, is he funny then? Like, is there a, cause obviously you pride funny as a big thing. Yes. The biggest, the biggest, the only, even when he was very, very young, there was a strange, I've never worked out whether this was accidental or whether it was some sort of deep subliminal standup comedy already

manifesting in him. But he'd had his eyes tested at school. So he made an eye chart of his own and I had to be tested on it. And he'd made basic errors, like all the letters were the same size and things like that. It was at the time when he didn't say ABC, he said ab-kuh. So I had to read it like that. So we went through, he'd written the letters and I got to this letter and I thought, Oh, I can't quite work it out. I said, is that a?

And he said, no. I said, is that ah? And he said, no. I said, is it eh? And he said, no. And I thought, Oh, I'm struggling. Maybe put a short stick. And I said, is it dirt? He said, no. I said, I give up. He said, it's a balloon. I remember thinking there was no agreement. They would all be letters. You know what I mean? It actually works well as an actual joke, but I don't know whether it was a balloon that he put in as a prank, but there was a time there's a street near me and there's one of those with two poles sticking up that you have to drive through, which is always stressful.

And I went to and I slightly touched one of the poles and I thought it's only that beyond the black bumper. And then when I parked my car, I went in the house and boss said, have you seen the side of your car? And I went out and he had a massive scratch on it. And I was really like, I'd had the car about three days and I was got it. Actually had to sit down. I was so upset. He gave me about two minutes and then explain that was a sticker that he got out the Beano.

He'd been waiting for a moment. Exactly. Yeah. That's been buzzing in the back of the car. That's a good thing. He was hiding once under a blanket in his bedroom on the floor. I was going to go up and then something happened and I went up about 10 minutes later and he jumped out and went boo, he's tiny and he was red and covered in sweat and he stayed under that blanket not wanting to spoil the joke and I thought that's my boy. T.I. writing for comedy,

which is the name of my new slimming video. Is that a Middlesbrough mug? Yeah. Who? I did a gig in Middlesbrough. You know, when you do a gig sometimes and you get like a little local themed giftsIFs. Middlesbrough, it was a Middlesbrough mug and a Middlesbrough pen. And I think some Middlesbrough rock.

Oh really? Popular with Middlesbrough tourists. Yeah. I didn't know they were famous for their rock. No, I know. I don't know if they are. I've never been to the beach in Middlesbrough. Is there one?

There's a river, cause they play at the Riverside Stadium. Didn't, was it Janino or someone got thrown around London rather than Middlesbrough when he signed for Middlesbrough. Brian Robson never took him there. He just showed him around London and then they signed. It feels like an urban myth. Well, I've seen, you know, Caranca was their manager, the Spanish guy. I was on a train with him going up to Newcastle,

and then you changed, I think, from Newcastle to Middlesbrough. And then I was on the train with him the whole way, him and his wife. It was a bit awkward, because obviously I don't imagine his wife wanted to leave Madrid for Middlesbrough. That's not normally the route you go. She was sort of not looking too happy. He was looking more and more nervous. And as we got into Middlesbrough, her fate, and no offense to Middlesbrough, but it's a jump from Madrid, as it pulled into Middlesbrough station, the look she gave him,

this is our life, is it, for four years? Yeah. It felt a real moment in time of just watching this couple, the realization. Like the wife of someone slaying the mafia. Yeah, yeah. This is it now. How did it feel taking your son to the download and backstage and things like that?

Because you're a slightly older dad and then you sort of think like your kid's younger and all different trends and stuff coming. Luckily, he was into heavy metal and stuff, but it must be pretty cool to be able to take him backstage at download where all the bands are, the Queens of the Stone Age were there and Royal Blood and you're right in it and having access to the bands. It must feel pretty cool as a dad. It is, it's brilliant. It also though, I find myself saying to him, you know my dad didn't introduce me to major bands and stuff like that. Yeah. I need him to know that it's special. Yeah.

I've introduced him now to so many, you know, I've got photos of him with Judas Priest and Bruce Dickinson and stuff. And I love to be able to give him that gift. But I think if things went wrong on the career front and I ran out of money. I don't know how he'd been out just being in row W at Amherst Smith Apollo, you know, it wasn't a problem my dad had, but it was the only celebrity things we had in our any connection at all on our mirror in the living room. There was a signed photo of Noel Gordon, you know, that was Star of Crossroads. It was played by Helena Bonham Carter. My mum was in a supermarket and a pound note

signed by Ginger Baker from Cream. My dad worked at Land Rover and he was buying a Land Rover or receiving one. And in those days, people used to get like pound notes signed. Wow. Working class bravado. So it is brilliant to be able to do that, but I'm probably setting up a precedent which is going to at one point find I can't keep up. That's it for this special Best Of episode.