Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - Now That's What I Call Parenting Hell... Volume 10

Episode Date: January 5, 2024

As we take a very short break for the new year here's a selection of some of our favourite chats about (mostly) parenting misadventures with previous guests…  We’ll see you next week for the start of Series 8!!  Episode Playlist: Jessie Ware (S3 EP30)  Mike Wozniak (S3 EP2)  Nihal Arthanayake (S5 EP12) Isy Suttie (S3 EP6) Pat Sharp (S3 EP10) Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xxx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're they're tha be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

I'm going back to university for $0.00. Up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cash back on rides, not whatever you think University is for. Get Uber won for students. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just 499 a month. Savings May 3, eligibility and member terms apply. Hello. Hello. I'm Rob Beckett and I'm just a try and I'm Josh Whitakam. And you're listening to now that's what I call parenting hell. Do you want to do? Do want want want want want want want to do the intro to do to do to do to do the intro to do I'm really interested to know about this intro that you do. You're much more prepared than we, my mom and I. That was the intro.

Oh, oh. There is no intro. We just say hello and we just say hello and we just say hello and we just say that so that's we know that that's good is that correct? It is correct I've got a five-year-old who's just started school and then I've got a two and a half year old and then a ten-week old. Oh my dad I just I got actually my heart rate went up there as you said all tho those I could feel I could feel I mean, yeah, how old are yours? Yours are in school now, right? Yeah, I've got a five-year-old in year one of school, and then I've got a three-year-old who's like in nursery, nearly four, so she's in like three or four days a week,

so they're pretty much in school now, which is groundbreaking. You've got a kind of system. Look at the other two people here. I might sit this one out guys. I don't feel like I've got... Good for you, Rob. Me, I've got a three-year-old and a four-month-old. So I'm not a million miles from you. No. Also, just to say though, guys, I've got to do the school run, so can we wrap this up in about four hours time? Is that all sling, because I've got a whole system, I'm like militant with this third one. I don't know about you, Josh. How are you doing with the four-month-old?

Do you feel like you're being stricter with the old sketch? Or have you got no sketch? We haven't got, he doesn't seem to be into sleeping in the daytime, which is pretty opprific. So his record record heaunenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenene. He heuu. He heu. He heu. He heu. He heu. He he. He to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to, he. I've to be. I to, he. I'm. I'm, he. I'm, I'm, I'm, I. I, I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I, I. I, I. I, I. I. I. I. I, I. I. I, I. I. I. I. I. I, to, to, to, to, to, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to pretty oppressive. So his record nap so far is 45 minutes which is not long enough. No you can't you can't get through an episode of anything on Netflix with that. No really. No exactly. Yeah it's not long enough. How about you? So you're going for, you're going for, have you got a clear schedule? So what are you on two and a half months basically? Yeah I I feel and I know this will divide people that listen and I apologize in a to. to. to. to to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their.. their.......................................................................................................................................... the........ feel and I know this will divide people that listen and I apologize in advance. I tried with my first one to like do the thing where I was like, you know I'm a pop star she's got to be on the road. She's got to be

able to kind of you know jam with the musicians at 10 o'clock at night and you know and that shit didn't work then I realized a hard way when she hadn't slept through the night, like, 10 months. And then second one was a little bit more like, you know, bad cop. And then this one I was like, mate, you got it like fit in. Wow. Yeah. Full Russell Kane, we call it here. Oh, is that what Russell Kane does? Okay. Well, Russell Kane managed to get his child to sleep to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, you their, you their, you, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you their, you their, you their, you their, you their, you their, you their, you their, you their, you their, you their, you their, you their, you their, you their, you their, you their, you their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their th.. th. that. that. that that that that that that that that that their bad their bad their, their, their child to sleep through the night for 10 hours within about 45 minutes of delivery with a technique where it's not about getting them to sleep,

it's about keeping them awake so they're tired for bedtime, blackout blinds, air conditioning, and flannels on their feet to wake them up if they do nod off before bedtime. Yeah, he got it from Granthanamo Bay, his technique. But he stands by and it has worked for him, so you know, you can't judge anyone in this game. Listen, maybe I'll try the flannels. Yeah, you're straight onto Amazon to order ten flannels. Russell? Russell?

How cold is the water? You know what, like, yeah, I think my youngest is just to just put up and shut up and he just watches because my son is an incredibly noisy two and a half year old and so he makes enough noise for all of us. Okay and it's also that's middle now you've got a middle child on your hand you had a you had a youngest three months ago and I'm a middle child and I'm here to tell you you are just worse because you are you have to fight for more attention. I disagree with you you the you the youngest th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th th th th th th th thi thi th th thly th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thell you you are just worse because you are you have to fight for more attention. I disagree with you because I am a middle child and I am the best child of all my mom's children so I don't know what

I'm gonna talk about but no my my son yeah he's he's struggling with I think he's struggling with I think he's struggling bless him he's done all right the five-year-olds just kind of thinks that he's a to-I to-I to-I to-I to-I to-I to-I thi. thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I'm thi-I'm th. I'm thi-I'm thi-I'm thi-I'm thi-I their their their their their their-I their-I their-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to-I'm to-I'm thi to-s. I'm thi's-I'm thi thi's to-I'm thi's thi's thi thi just kind of thinks that he's a dolly and she likes it. And she goes like this to me, she goes, mom, I think he needs feeding, like she's like the mother-in-law. She's like, oh really? No, no, no, I've got this, darling, I've got this. And she's like, no, mom, I really think you need to feed to feed to feed to feed to feed to feed to feed to feed to feed to feed to feed to feed to feed to feed to feed to feed that to feed to feed to feed that to feed that to feed to feed that to feed that to feed to feed to feed to feed to duck tiny carons. Aren't they? No Davy, you forgot the lemon. I didn't even want lemons, I just half said that in the shop, now you keep bringing lemons up. Whenever we go to the shop, I don't all say you forgot the lemons. Like, and they

are like a naked mother-in-law. Totally. But my two and a half year old, he did a thing. He thou th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. We th. We th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I to to to to to to have to have to have to have just told told to have to have told told they-up only only only only only only only to me to me to to to to me to me to have just to have just to have just to have just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just to to to to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have told, told, told, told, told, they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I've they. I've they. I've they. I've told, I've they, I've they. I've told had a kind of empty pram, you know, the miniature ones that you've got in your playroom, you've got about five of them broken. But yeah, we had one of them and the, and my husband said, where's the baby? And he's, he said, oh, he's dead. And Sam went, oh, my husband went, oh, oh, that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that, that, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, th. the, the, the, the, the, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. the. the. the on well with this new one. Yeah, he basically killed his brother. Oh my God. Oh wow. Yeah. So is he two and a half and he's aware of death then?

Well, apparently, I don't know, I feel like the Lion King was maybe play, it's circle of life. Oh my God. It's too much for me. But I remember when my daughter saw it first time and her older cousin said, when Simba's dad is dying and it's written, and my daughter went, he's just sleeping and her cousin was like, he's dead. And I think, yeah, she got some hard truths. Did it need such a brutal death? Because there's an old lion dying, and then there's been trampled to death by Wilderbeast.

So you're saying Rob that you think the lack of success of the Lion King is they've misjudged how they put that film together. Yeah I just think, you know, if they got it right, imagine the success the Lion King could have been. Mike Wazniak, thank you for joining us. Can you just explain to the list the list the list the list the list the list the list the list the list the list the list the list the list the list the list the list theto the list of what happened there? There was barking. There was a barking. God, I'm even slightly breathless from dealing with, and this is the level of crisis that's quite high level of crisis for me these days. So I'm all, golly, I'm all flustered.

So yeah, there was barking, that was Pam, Pamela who is a, a wirehead Hungarian visula, who lives in my house. How are we spelling Vigilor? I want to say this dog. How do you spell a Vigla? How's that being spelled? V-I-Z-S-L-A. Exactly how I would have done it on my own. It could be that I've got the Z-N-S the wrong way around. Beautiful dog I was expecting an absolute mess, but it's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I'm, I'm, I'm to to to to to to thi, I'm to to thi, I'm th, I'm thi, I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, I, I to, I to, I to, I to to, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I'm thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the the the the the thean, the thean, toldld type which is like a gun dog after a big night out who's not not safe to be

handling firearms of any kind. And what crocated the bark in the Vizler? I at all times carry with me a bag of dried ballsticks. What about for the dog? Lovely bit of business. My kind of humour. Is that a bag of ballsticks? I've never seen a dried ballstick. I've seen a wet one, obviously. I'm no prude.

You prefer them wet and fresh. The drying process definitely takes the edge off, I would say. Yeah. Oh, they're long. They lose, they lose some of their glory glory, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the edge off, I would say. Oh, they're long, they lose some of their glory, I would say. They're not intimidating. Oddly, when chewed, they smell like, sort of badly gone off fish as well. So there is a price to be paid. Yeah, for quiet.

Yeah, very much so. But that seems, so it's bought us some time, I would say, for now. Yeah, okay, fair enough. We'll crack on then. As well as the Hungarian vizla you've got, which is a lovely dog, are they a good dog for families? Well, I don't know anything about dogs. I think so. don't know. How did you end up with what is no precedent for me in my life so I've got no there's no yardstick for me to measure it right? This is your first experience of having a dog. Yeah I've never

had a dog before. My wife how old is it? The dog is it's a lockdown dog we've we juke the dog we jumped on that band wagon big no. Yeah so as soon as it's all opened up again you know we'll be sending her back obviously. To hunt Budapest. Exactly. With a pride flag on its neck. Exactly. And she's going to join a right-wing militia. Yeah. Mike what's your family set up at home? You've got the visitor, how many kids you got? We've got two little girls. So one has just this weekend turned 10. The other one is seven. Pam's about eight and a half months old.

They're quite a tight unit. Do the kids love the dog? The kids massively love the dog. The kids knew that they'd loved the dog before they met the dog. So my wife grew up with dogs, my wife had dogs in lieu of siblings. So I can't really tell the difference between dogs and people. It's all. Oh God, I wouldn't want to go around your ass for dinner then, in ball sticks all around. Yeah, so the children the children have been brainwashed from the get go th go th go th go th go th. th. th. th. th. th the the to to to the to their to to to their to their their to their their their their their to their their their to their to their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. their their th. th. the. the. tod. today. today. today, today, toge. tog. tog. toge. toge. toge. the. So, their their the. So, their-go that they are dog people. So it was always it was just a matter of time before we got a dog. You've held out a good period, 10 years. I think one of us had promised the big one that years ago, oh, you're a bit too young, you're a bit too young, you need to be able to get

involved with a dog and take it for walks and tidy up after the dog and when you're nine years old, but if you make a promise to a child involving an age, I mean, they will remember that. I mean, it's completely verbatim. And this was, you know, and they helped in remembering that by repeating the promise to you on a daily basis for four years' time. So once she did turn nine last summer, then the pressure was really on. And we were in lockdown and we just, we just waited long enough for thi that that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th the pressure was really on and we were in lockdown and we just we just waited long enough for the prices of a dog to saw to well above 34,000 pounds and that's when we pounced. So it's tough to get a dog and dog walkers are in demand now. Oh man now is the time they potle about with their little vans fill out with dogs. I the their their togs. I mean it's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their prices, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th th th th th th th th th the, the, the, the, the, the, the, tog togs togs togs togs togs togs, togs, togs, the, the the thetime. Now is the time. They poodle about with their little vans, fill out with dogs. I mean, they're absolutely rolling in it.

It's quite good as well. The big one wants to be a dog walker as well. That's what she wants to do for her career. Yeah, well how many dogs have they got a dog walker? I think it varies a lot. There's a park we go to, Pam and I, sort of in the middle of the day when the kids are at school where there's two dog walkers who team up. And they go bulk, definitely.

So they've got, they've got, it's knocking on the door of double figures each. Bloody owl. Oh, that's too many. I thought it would be about sick. And that is intense when, for Pam in particular, who is, I mean, it freaks her out because they're all loose and they want to see this young papa never sniff about and it's intense. She basically crawls up my back and tries to pretend that she's just an unshaven backpack back basically. So they've all gone away again. And so your children back at school now, presumably? They are, yeah. Yeah. So your, and your wife has a job where she leaves the house.

She has an NHS job and is currently being worked to death, yes. And then there's the sort, yeah, her lay about husband. But that means you're stuck with a dog. I'm stuck with a dog. I'm, I. I. I. I. I. I, I, I. I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've tho, I've tho, I've tho, I' tho, I' th. I' th. I' th. I' th, I' th, I' th, I, I, I' th, I' th, I' th, I've th, I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've thi, I've that, I've that, I'm that, I'm that, I'm that, I'm that, I'm that, I'm that, I'm thi, I've thi,there's the sort, yeah, her layabout husband. But that means you're stuck with a dog. I'm stuck with a dog, but I, I've come, I think I've come to terms with it. I think family life a lot of the time it is just a slow chipping away of yourself resolves and you're, in your self-esteem. And she's very much, she's very much the last nail. My lovely little hairy last nail is what she is. So I've given in the first couple of weeks I just thought,

we've made a huge mistake! And, you know, you're ruining the inside of the house and then I looked at the inside of the house. The inside of the house is a mess anyway. And then, and then thought about the impact that she's had on my day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day day that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's the house and the inside of the house is a mess anyway. And then thought about the impact that she's had on my day today and my schedule. And even outside of lockdown I'm mostly doing absolutely naff all anyway. So to be fair, she gets me out for the odd airing. She's doing your favor. She is. She is. Yeah. Your girls obviously, both in school. And what are they, are they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. that, that, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th, th. th. th. th. th. th, th. And, th. And, th. And, the impact, the impact, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thou. In, th. In, their, thou. In, their, the. In, thou. In, th. In, th. And, th. And, th. And,. Yeah. Your girls obviously are both in school and what are they, are they quite easy now at 10 and 7, you know, that you're beyond the sort of toddler baby years and you've not here, teenage years. Yeah, yeah, good great. I mean, yeah, compared to, to what are you? What are you? What are you? Wo? Wo? Wo? Wo? W. their. W. th. they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, th. they, th. Are, they, they, are, are, th. Are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, th. Are, th. Are, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they, they, they, they, they, they, are, are, are quite, are quite, they, are, are quite, are, are, are, are, are, are quite, are, are, are, are quite, are, are, are, are, are, are quite, are, are quite, they, they, know, they're, I mean they're sort of fully sentient human beings and all that kind of stuff.

I mean they can go and get to themselves a drink and all that kind of thing. Yeah, quite advanced. Pretty, pretty advanced. So I think, yeah, this is quite a nice age, I think. Honestly, I don't have a great deal of complaints about them specifically. But what's interesting is some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some thiiiiiiiiiii. thi. thi. they's they's they's they's they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're thi. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they. they. they're, they're, they're they're, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're, thi. they're they're, thi. they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they. But what's interesting, some people go, oh no, it's just difficult in different ways. It's just as difficult, but in different ways. Well, there's always something, yeah. I mean, like the big one has already begun to fathom the shortcomings of her parents, for example. You know, you know, it's dawning on her that actually maybe, maybe we aren't world class. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, it. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's just. It's, it's, it's, it's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, it's. It's. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's just. It's just. It's just, it's just, it's just, it's just just just just just just just, it's just just just just, it's just just, it's just just just, it's just just just, it's just, it's just just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, maybe we aren't world-class, do you know what mean? Yeah, maybe we're not the finest minds in all of Christendon.

But they're still at an age where mostly, at this point now that they're in age where they're on the whole quite like the being with their family, you know? So that we're not getting the kickback of teenage or teenage age. And you're scared of that. I'm completely terrified. Yeah. Because you, I mean already at the age, you get, you get, you get little hints of it. You get little moments, you know, during a little family spat or during an absolute humdinger-roubde you get, particularly because the big one's got quite sort of laser-guided ability to break down your total bullshit and spit your own words back on you, you know. So give me an example. Well it might be over detail. I mean it might be for example, no, you're trying to be, we're going to

to talk about this actually. We're going to sit down just for five minutes and we're going to to talk about why you know what you did with your sister it wasn't quite right okay and then there's a sort of beep beep beep beep and she's you set a timer on her watch for precisely five minutes and you said you said off five minutes we would stop so I'm off goodbye thank you that seems very officious rigorous but I think yeah I think so these these little these little moments when you have the detail the detail the detail the detail the detail the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. these little moments when you have your the detail of something you've said spat back at you or all your own words through making your face that those those are the moments when you can sort of leap a few years forward and think oh I'm gonna be out of my depth

there quite badly quite soon. Nihau welcome to the show how are you? Oh I'm really happy to be on this I'm not gonna lie this is this is this is this is amazing this is amazing this is amazing. this is amazing. this is amazing. this is amazing. It this is amazing. It's amazing. It's this is amazing. It's this is amazing. It's to be to be th. I'm to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be thi. I's to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the the they. I the they. I they. I they. I'm they. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. the thi. thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I'm really I'm really happy to be on this I'm not going to lie this is amazing. It's amazing. Very happy to have you here. Yeah I think we're coming on your show as well yeah of course you are. Although all the wait a minute well for BBC reasons this has not happened because you're coming on my show no no no no no no no no about, I was talking about my last book and I think we're going to come on to talk about the new book. It's an absolute book. And you've got a book out. It's a book frenzy. You've also got children. Can you give us a rundown of your child's situation? The child's situation is I have a 13 year old girl and a 14 year old boy. A. A th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. to to th. to th. to th. th. th. to to to to to th. to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to to to to to to to toeeeeeea. toea. toeea. toea. to to to theea. the my son who is 14. He'll be 15 in November and Aria is my daughter. Yeah. And they loathe each other at the moment. So it is proper, like it is carnage. Like it is absolute carnage. It's like one of them is mainland China and the other one's Taiwan and it's just, it's always tense. The tension is always there. So, how long is this this be thi thi. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, the thi, the thi, the the thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their the other one's Taiwan and it's always tense. The tension is always there. So how long has this been? Is this a new development? No, it's just, it's just they're very close and age. There's only 19 months between them.

And there's just this, oh, this friction. You're always trying to, it's exhausting refereeing. Yeah, I can constantly kind of try to go, no, just be kind to each other. No, don't do that. No, don't say that. Don't trigger that. Don't escalate that. It's a constant kind of like, like,

like, theyme. Like, theyke, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, t, t, tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttty.. ttty. tha, tha, like, like, like, like, like, like, it's kind of like, you're always trying to go, no, please don't say that, don't do that, don't trigger that, don't escalate that, don't react to that. What are the main beefs then? Between them, what's the main issue? I'm just the sibling, my brother and I had a little bit of it when we were growing up. It. very different personalities. They definitely love each other, right? Like I know there's a lot of love there, but they just can't, they can't coexist at the moment, particularly well.

But Gerard and Lampard, you know they're good, they just didn't link up. There you go, there you go. Absolutely, absolutely. What you're saying is you need to swap one of your children for Gareth Barry? Well we can take it beyond be on football it's like a Lonzo and Hamilton I think as well it's there's there's there's carnage there's definitely beef this bigy and two pack except no drive-by's which is because neither of them are driving licenses. Are you are you shug night in the situation is that I kind of am shook night yeah you're right so how did you you feel you you the partner you would have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. the. thearn. the their. they. they. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. there. there. there. there. you feel when you found out that your partner was pregnant with the second? Because that turnaround, you would have had a nine-month-old? Yeah, well, for me,

it was kind of okay, right? Because I don't have to do much, right? Like, I was, first six months of being a parent, I was a terrible dad, right? Like, I was a radio one DJ, I was off DJ, and I was like, and my wife turned to me, I kind of became my dad's generation, which was that I go out of work, right? I'll enjoy the nice stuff like cuddling a baby and putting photos on social media, and not really be kind of present as they say. I mean, my wife, I remember six months in,

turned around and said, right, okay, well, if I'm gonna have to do this on my own, I might as well do it properly on my own, and you can do one. And I was like, yeah, like, literally gave me that kind of ultimatum because I just, I just effortlessly slipped into this kind of really archaic role of being a, which really kind of freaked me out because that's not the guy I thought I was. No, I wouldn't have expected that from you.

No, and that's not who I thought I was going to be and then just I guess, I don't know, the the cultural nature of how I grew up just became that and then suddenly I was like, well, okay, that's not who I need I should that's not who I should be and I I yeah it's kind of well I don't know if my wife would agree that I flipped it around my own head you did enough you do enough to save the marriage yeah yeah yeah 17 years later yeah 17 years later yeah so our 17th anniversary save it going it's a very fine line isn't that? That's kind of why yes I don't speak for themselves yeah exactly exactly numbers don't lies. Was your parents so with your parents were they a

bit quite sort of old school with with the mom did all the baby stuff and then the dad just worked yeah I don't think my dad was present when we were born yeah I don't think he was he was there when I thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the th. th. the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the to. the the the. the., I don't think he was there. I think part of the reason was that my mom said that he fainted at the sight of blood, so she thought it would be best that he just didn't. So the nurses kind of attended to her, not to him, right? So it was a better, but also again, it was a generation that didn't, I don't think, you know, change nappies or got that involved really. You know, my dad, my dad worked away a lot as well. So I don't think, yeah, I think there's a very clear roles. I mean, my mom did work.

She was a nurse in the NHS. She worked part-time. But it was very much a given that my dad was the breadwinner. My dad paid the the primary breadwinner was my dad and that's how we brought up and also as well you know it's my brother and I so there's three guys in the house so you're in that kind of environment as well you know so yeah it was weird do you think one of the differences not just generation but also your job was DJing on Radio 1.

So it doesn't even feel to the person who stuck at home like you're going out to work. It feels like you're going out to play records and have a laugh. Yeah, I'm sorry, but Womad in Singapore, that fly alone is a grind, quite frankly. Right? Okay, going off to do Glastonbury, these things are hard work, Josh and Rob. And I'm not sure I appreciate the tone, Josh, if I'm honest. But also, when you have to present that show, you can't go, oh, this has been a bit boring actually at Glasterby because it's on radio you were like, it was the best one ever, these guys are amazing, you know, I'm over the time of

my life and your wife's at home. Yeah, yeah, well that's the thing isn't it? You know, you're doing a DJ gig in Thailand and you're kind of thinking, wow, this this is amazing. But there's the way the way th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, their, their, their, their, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, together, thin, together, thin, thin, thin, they. and, they. And, thin, they. And,the way you speak to your wife about it which is like oh so boring and crap went into it was rubbish and then of course you come back and you get on radio one knowing that your wife's not listening and going big weekend in Bangkok get the suburb of club big tunes were being played you know to us absolutely most banging sound my life was out, it was raising a queue around the block and then when we dropped this track the whole place kicked off it was a mad one and then come home and go, yeah, God, worst

gig ever, that terrible. Also, it's all Radio 1, you can't really be like I'm a bit tired as like the baby last night because it's so youth-centric that station. As soon as there's a whiff of you've got a kid, you're on route to Radio 2 or 5 Live. You're not there long enough. That's why Scott Mills, he's got no kids. That's why he lasted so he lasted so long. He's about 57. Good on him. What an innings he had at Radio 1? Yeah, there was, there was that, though, the thing was always when I was at Radio 1st. The audience was skewed much older that remember the Chris Moyles years, it was all young parents. Like the idea that under Chris Moyles it was loads of teenagers going, this is the greatest thing in the world.

It wasn't. It was loads of blokes in their 30s pretty much, wasn't it? And so when I was doing my specialist show on Radio 1, of course that was just two hours of me mixing live and playing tracks back to back largely. But when I was doing weekend breakfast and the weekend afternoon, which are daytime shows, then you are trying to kind of, you can say that you've got babies. So I had babies around the right time because a lot of the listeners were also doing that. They were also having kids, I had kids late, so I became a dad in my mid-30s, whereas so all the people who are having kids in their mid-20s, A, you were identifying with

them and B, that was a kind of core Radio 1 audience. How are you nearly 50? I'm 51. You're unbelievable. No way. This is outrageous. What's a secret? Not looking after your kids? Is that nice? No, it's a secret, not looking after your kids? It's, uh, no, sorry, it's, uh, it's, uh, it's a, it's a chutney. It's, uh, it's a cuckney. It's a, uh, which, which, which, robin his book said, it's a jam. And, Josh, it's not a jam, it is a chutney. No, I've got a bit of a bit of a chutn't thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's, it's, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, th. It's a, a, a, th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a thi. It's a the the they. It's a the dinner. It isn't, it is just jam but like you can have what you're roasting a bit of strawberry jam but like you can have a bit of mango chutney on a curry but that's fine but no no let's not get bogged down by this we're getting on well anyhow we had this argument on your show last time.

We did we did we did. Hello. Is he a try to to hang out? Hello, Izzy Suttie, how are you? Hello, I'm fine. I've got a coffee and a pint of orange squash. Oh, God. Hangover? Is that a hangout, hungover cure? Or just how you start a day? I did go out last night with my two of my friends for that like how much have we all been out in the last year and a half and it was absolutely brilliant. We went to this place where you like grill your own food over a grill? What? Oh, yeah. What do you mean? They don't do it for you? No. I didn't think that. And they were like, yeah, you bring you a grill.

And yeah, yeah, I remember there's this cafe that I used to go to with my Scottish friend years ago in Clapham where there was a and we love going there and then my mate was like, you know you could just do that at home. It is literally a taster and it was like, oh yeah. The point of going out is they do it for you. So you've been in lockdown cooking for yourself for 18 months and you've gone out to cook for yourself got a coffee and a pint of squash. Can I ask a question?

Are you too old for squash? How dare you? Oh, I drink squash too, Josh. I know, well I took that as red, Rob. But... I presumed as much. Is it? What kind of squash is it?

It's orange squash. Do you know what, Ellis is absolutely obsessed with squash and I think if I hadn't found Ellis, that's a weird way of describing my relationship, if I wasn't going out with Ellis, I probably wouldn't have it in the house, but he gets, I mean, we had to have one, he's like this with squash and radox, he has to have one full one, like in reserve or he gets to have one, he's like this with squash and radox, he has to have one full one in reserve or he gets to be. Me and Ellis have a lot in common. Squash, you've got to drink a lot of people aren't drinking enough water and if one just keeps drinking tea and coffee which is bad for you

and if you have a little bit of flavor in a nice pine of water to have some squash it's good for you. It's good for you Josh, do you know what, do what, do what, what? How I'm consuming more water? What's that? I've got 840 meals of soda streamed water right next to me here, Rob, in a bottle. You got soda stream? You mean, it's little bubbles in it? I bought a soda stream because it's the 90s. And it's absolutely changed my drinking habits. Okay, so have you got, have you put... I'm wary on this because because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, the the the the the the the the the tho, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I've, I've, I'm, I've, I'm, I've th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. to. th. to. th. to. to. the you put it? I'm wary on this because at one point Soda Stream we're going to sponsor our podcast and they didn't and I don't want

to give them too much advertising for free. So what is you just selling Fizzy Water? Yeah, so I just have Fizzy Water because I really like Fizzy Water but I was starting to get guilt about how many plastic bottles I was getting through. So you get through it. You get th th th th th th th th th th th th th th so so so so so so so so so so so so so th th so so th so th so so so so th to get to get to get to get to get to get the the the the to get to to to to to their their their their. And I their. And I'm their. And I'm their. And I'm their. And I'm their. And I their. And I their. And I their. And I their. I their their their their their their their their th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I'm thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I don't thi thi thi. I don't thi. I don't through. You get through it, don't you? Yeah, you get through. Sometimes I think, Josh, you've got to stop having so much guilt. Just drinking water, mate. You're not in charge of the bottling process. But I just thought, I'll get a soda stream and then it's in my house. Do you make Coke and lemonade if it's a Friday night.

That's exciting. You show your own apple ties. I make my own apple tie. It's easy to make? Yeah, it is five squidges of the button and there we have. Five squidges of the button and there you are. Oh wow, I want to get one now. I'm literally looking at them on Amazon now. Josh, what are you doing?

We should have got the money in for it. We shouldn't just be saying it. This is terrible advertising. I never had a soda stream in the 1980s. Was it 80s or 90s? It was both. Emma Vince, my best friend had one. It was so exciting to go.

But what happens if you put like ice cream in it or something would it make fizzy ice cream? I think you just I'm telling you're just all right Heston's on the phone. Guys I'm thinking of diversifying. I don't think that such a thing is fizzy ice cream is that? You have to buy gas canisters to refill it. Yeah you do have to buy gas the plasticy metaly. Yeah exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that. that. that. that. I I. I. I. I. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm that's. I'm. I' that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I ice cream is that? But you have to buy gas canisters to refill it. Yeah, you do have to buy gas cans. But in there plasticy, metaly? Yeah, exactly. They're great for the environment job. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Just ship tiny bottles of gas around the world so Josh could have a fizzy apple, little turd. He must have fizzy apple, it's a weekend. in the paper bottles can you? You what? You can't get you can't put you know like if you're trying to have you can have fizzy and glass I suppose can't you? Yeah I reckon paper cardboard wouldn't contain the bubbles would it? No. It has to be airtight. Do you know what just buy a bottled water is it? Can I say that? Is it allowed? I think we've covered all bases of the options of fizzy water? we promoted and had to go at all the different angles, if anything. I think people have left more confused than at the start of the Fizzy Water conversation. Do you drink squash, Josh?

No, I don't know. No, you don't. But I do make my own apple ties like a complete tweat. Do you let your kids drink squash, Izzy? Well, look, everything's gone. If you, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, th, th, th, the, th, the, th, th, the, thi, the, the, thi, thi, the, the, the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th. th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th th. And, th th th th thi. We's, th th th thi a year and a half ago, I would have said no. But I mean, I don't know about you, but like everything, all the standards have slipped. Yes, yeah. You know yo-yo's, those like,

fruit winders. Yeah, yeah, they're fruit winders. I don't know. I don't know if that's the right name for it. I think, I th I think there's an own brand version of them called Fruit Winders, which is why, which Betty won't eat. She's like, no, it's got to be a yo-yo, it's got to have the cards in it. That's how they get kids reeled in, isn't it? But she must have 18 to 20 yo-yos a day. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, which, which, to, which, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, they. they. they. they, they, the the the the the the to the to the to the to to the to to to the to the to the the like, no you've had, you've had 12, maybe you could eat some proper fruit, but then in my head I'm like, well it is fruit, it's just baked fruit. But it's just like, if you like someone looked at her diet.

So yeah, no they do drink squash. The little one doesn't, I make it very weak, but then he just grabs my pint of squash and down's like half of it. So this is your second appearance on the show, Izzy. Can we just have a quick reminder of the ages of your kids? Yeah, Betty's six and Stefan's two. And when you was on last time, we had Ellis on as well, your partner, who was doing like the early shift and you were going to bed later because you was writing a book. Now your book's finished, is that correct? It is, yeah. So what what what what what what's what's what's what's what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, so, so, so, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. this? This, this? This? This? this? This? This? this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, what's what's the sort of set up now with the the child care divide now you're not

right in the book? How's the sleep? Okay so's a sleep junkie Josh okay listen Josh it's not gonna be easy for you to hear this. Brace yourself yeah it's good. What? easy for you to hear this. Brace yourself. Yeah. It's good. What? Yeah. Interviews over.

But it was bad about a week ago, isn't it? It was terrible for years. So console yourself with that. Like, basically, the reason that Ellis started doing the mornings and I was doing all the cooking and cleaning and return, which some of my mates thought was quite unfair on me but I was very controversial enough it was very controversial really well in locks we were in city leave and remain very much it was very much of a lot of abuse of me and Rob over us still you had the easier side of the deal I got called a

gammon pig The thing that I feel like I didn't mention the first time is that when I say all the cooking and cleaning, like I wasn't really doing that much cleaning and like it sounds like I was like you know dawn till dusk scrubbing floors and like mopping. Yeah, like a like a 1940s housewife. Yes exactly with opinion and if you saw this dining room I'm sitting in it I mean like there's a pile all the time on the on the dining table of like pens and books and like my work, Ellis's work, the kids drawings just getting higher and higher. Yeah. Every single table. Oh my right. So yeah I think the we still call it the dining just getting higher and higher. Yeah. We've got other them tables. Oh my, right.

So yeah, I think I mean it sound like. We still call it the dining table. We've never dined on that table and it's fucking like, it's like a boot sale, stock room. Yeah, but no one would ever want to come to. Like, a car boot sale, people would pay not to come their. The only time we're eating here is Christmas dinner and I this is how much I did cooking and cleaning. I found a pee yesterday in the corner from Christmas dinner that was like all shriveled

up. So what is it now? July? Hello? Pat's shot. I was going to try and do it's Friday afternoon. Get ready for the week. Do you want to do the intro to this one? It feels like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, I, to, to, to, to, to, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to-I, to-I, to-I, to-I, to-I, to-I, the try and do, it's Friday afternoon. Get ready for the week. Pat, do you wanna do the intro to this one?

It feels like you're the most qualified to start a podcast in an upbeat manner. Here we go, here you'll like this. Friday afternoon, even if it's not, welcome to the weekend. This is where it starts with the Parenting Hell Podcast starring Pat. That's a lot of peas. That's incredible. That is, is that just experience or did you learn that somewhere? I just learned to jock it, Rob, really. I just jocke it. I went to America on a skateboard when I was 19 and listened to the radio and came back and turned up the echo at Capitol. From the top of the tower we're smashing, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that's a that's a that's a that's a that, that, that, that, that, that, th. That's a th. That's a th. That's, th. That's, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. That's, th, th. That's, th. That's, th. That's, t. That's, tode, toda, toda, toda, today, today, today, toge, togu.a, togu. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, their, their, the the the radio and came back and turned up the echo at Capitol. From the top of the tower we're smashing the tunes. That's so true, it is an American style,

actually, because you do it a bit more delicately, it doesn't seem like American. I got a bit older so I've chilled out a bit now that I'm on Greatest Hits Radio so I'm more the tied back, but still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still was like you know people you say I love that what you did but I didn't get it what was it all about you know what did you say? Just energy but that's the thing though it's like having that energy I think energy is good for anything you do including like work or being a parent it's when you're knackered you can't do it and how how many kids you that you tho to the to the the the the their their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their grown-up kids? Yep, we have three kids and we have two grandchildren and one more come in. So yeah. Oh wow, grandchildren.

So what ages are your kids and the grandkids? Um, Daniel is 31, Charlotte's 29, Nick is 34, and our grandkids are two and one month or five weeks. Yeah. And another one due in September. How is it being a granddad? Oh it's great. Yeah, it's really good. We have beautiful, beautiful granddaughter, beautiful grandson and another granddaugh. And I love it. I love being called grandpa and I like being young enough to sort of, you know, not look like a grandpa. I see some, some of the dads out there and I think, wow, you must be grandpa too. And they go, no, no, no, that's my kid, not my grandson. So.

Those ones always look so tired, don't they? You know, they're really, they're a bit older and they're just a bit. They're like, they're they're they're their th. th. th. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. I. I. I. I. I's a thin. I's a thin. I's a thin' thi. I'm just a thi. I'm just a thi. I'm thi. I'm just a bit. I'm just a bit. I'm just a bit. I'm they're just a bit. I must. I must. I must. I must. I must. I must. I must thi. I must thi. I must thi. I must thi. I must thi. I must thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I thi. I thi. I must. I'm a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit thi. I'm just a bit thi. I'm just a bit thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. It's a bit thi. It's a bit thi. I must him in the park and I'm running around and you know I'm just going to turn 60 in there like give us a break. Do you do, do you get called on to do a lot of grandpa-based babysitting? We do and we love it because to be honest with you you know one of our grandchildren, Kaiha, our oldest one, the two-year-old, he's actually in America because our son lives in New York with his wife and they're there, th, th, th, th, so th, so th, so th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, like, th. th. th. thi, like, like, like, like, thi, like, their, like, their, their, their, like, like, like, like, thi, like, like, like, like, thi-in-in-in-i. thi. thi. thi. thi, give, give, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, thi, their, thi, thi. to-i. to-i. to-i. to-i. to-i. to-i. to-i. to-i. thi. thi. thaya, our oldest one, the two-year-old, is actually in America because our son lives in New York with his wife and they're there. So we don't see them all the time, especially with what's been going on. So when we get called to babysit our five-week-old one, we're there and we often don't want to give him back really, to really, well,

they're all British, but I need the ones who live here to really, you know, slap into it and get a few more kids here. So, and with them having grown up kids, you know, this is not a good tip for life, I'd say, but some people have said to me that, you know, when they're grown up, you're just worrying about them in a different way. Do you find like, what's it like being the parent of grown up kids? How often do you think about them? Is it dominating your life in the way it did when they were children? It doesn't dominate your life, Josh, but you are absolutely right. You're never going to stop worrying about your kids and you're never going to stop lending the money and getting them to start on the property ladder and just you know just being there to help them I suppose and you'll always do that because they are your kids

so anything you think that you guys are spending now believe me it never ends it just keeps on going oh god oh no that's not what I want to hear Pat. Well, it gets bigger. I mean, the sums get bigger, don't they? The deposit on a house is not exactly, you know, a train set, is it? Do you feel like, was you working loads or was you off work when the kids were small? Did you see a lot of them, or was it a bit tight?

You was all over the place? Telly I imagine when was w w w w w I was w w I I I I I I I I I was working I I was the the thage. thage. thage. thage. thage. thage. thi I was thi I was their thi I was thi I was thi. their thi. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was thi. I was thi. thi. tho. tho. th. th. too. too. too. today. too. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I was th it a bit tight? Because you were some, you was all over the place on telia when they were younger. Yeah, I was working a lot and I still am to this day to pay for the extra bits that I just mentioned. So therefore it never stops. But I did see them a lot. Yeah, I was a pretty good hands-on dad and I think my missies would agree with that. I mean I took. to. to. their. to. their. to. their. to to their. to to their. to their. to to to their. to to to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to to to to their. to to t loved it. I mean I took Nikki when Nicky was a kid he was very funny because he was probably say two or three years old probably three or four maybe and we would go to sort of Chessing the World of Adventures and then someone would come up and they would obviously were no selfies in those days because then nobody had a camera so they would say can I get your autograph and I'd say well I've got a pen and they'll go to a the the the the.. I'm well well well well well well well well well well well well I'm the the. I'm the the the the the I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their I I'm go I'm go I'm go. I'm go. I'm go. I'm go. I'm I'm I'm I'm go go go. I'm I'll go go go go go go go go go go I'll go I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm to to to to to to to the the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I or whatever and you'd do one and then another person would come along and they'd get your autograph and then a big line would start and by the time you got to the end of the line there be people going yeah can I get your autograph I go sure what's your name and they went yeah what's yours and I went well why do you want why do you want to why they go because everyone else did and I said all then th and th and th and th and I th you and I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th the the the try try try try try try try try try try try to to their their their their their their they they obviously about a foot tall, or maybe too far, I don't know how big kids are anymore,

but he was a little boy, and he would be tugging at my trousers, and he got so used to hearing people saying my name, that he said, for goodness, St. Pat Sharp, hurry up. He goes, oh, what to go on the rides. And that was how he grew up, he grew up, he grew up, he grew up, he grew up, he grew up, he grew up, he grew up. He grew up calling me Pat Sharp because of people going, Pat Sharp. So I never got called Dad, I was just Pat Sharp to Nicky and he's 34 now, but now

he calls me dad so thank heavens for that. Oh, that's nice, eventually. As a kind of celebrity in that world, did you like, when you're going to Chessington World Adventure, are you queing in those situations? Or is the family got special perks? Well? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. that thatathe thathe thathe thathe thatheatheatheathe thathe thatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheat, th. I I th. I th. I th. I you queuing in those situations or has the family got special perks? Well, we did have some moments where they, you're going to think this is really pretentious and your listeners are going to go, what a dick. But they closed the theme park for us and we got in either early or late like Tom Cruise. Wow, like Tom Cruise. I mean, because at one point, Pat, I would say you was one of the most famous TV presenters in the country easily. Well kids TV you know yeah I never really yeah but then I think actually kids TV makes you mega famous because they grow up with you and then they see you on other things so it's like they've all seen you

and it's sort of there's a different bond I find sometimes you've summed that up Rob. There's an amazing affinity with kids TV presenters because I can go into a room where there's somebody of say, you know, your guy's age and there's Graham Norton and the person who's coming over will probably come up to me as a kids TV presenter before they go to Graham Norton because it's part of their childhood. Yeah. They remember you And they remember you from a time when they didn't have, you know, relationship, mortgage, rent, this, that, job worries and everything else. They just remember chucking down their school bag on a Friday afternoon and, you know, and watching me and the

twins and some bright colors and a bit of gunds. I mean, what's not to like? What age were your kids when all that was going on? Were they fans of the show? Are they too young or too old? I can't really work the time like. Nicky was spot on, our oldest son he was spot on, he was about the right age and a little bit younger than the contestants, they were around about 12 or 13 and he was probably about, it started, Nicky was born in 86, the show started in 89, so by the time the show was sort of 93, 94, he was he was a prime candidate fan. He used to come to some of the recordings and we we made Funhouse the whole series for each year was made him one week at Scottish television. Really? Yeah so we would go for seven days I'd take the time off capital and then for seven days we would go to Scotland and we would do one in the morning one in the afternoon two times seven is 14 series done for a whole th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. So. So. So, th. So, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the the the the th, the the th, the th, the thi, the thi, the thi, the theeough, the thea''''''-soooooooooooooooooooo' the tho one in the afternoon, two times seven is 14 series done for a whole year. So I've only ever spent ten weeks of my life doing Funhouse. It's mad, isn't it, isn't it, isn't it mad? Because I, you know,

I mentioned this when I last spoke to Josh and I said to him that you know people will come up to me and say in a Burley voice a great big guy at a DJ set and go, you made my childhood. And I'm going, well that's just as well, isn't it? And you know, and you think about it that people come up and also say to me, not my name, they just look at me and go Funhouse House. I mean, the best story, the best story the best story I've the bestthat one was that the Nordoff Robbins Music Awards lunch in about early 2000s and Posh was there as in Victoria Beckham and with David and they were sitting at a table and they had people around them so that people couldn't go up to them because they were sort of the flavor of the month at the time and they

didn't want everybody coming up to them and their and their their. their. their. their. their. to to to their. to to to their. to to the time and they didn't want everybody coming up to them and they couldn't eat their lunch and blah blah blah. So at one point I sort of glanced over and and she smiled which she doesn't do a lot as you know and she um and she wagged her finger in a way to say beckon you over like this and I thought oh okay I went over and to say hi. I just want to say that I heard the radio the radio th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th th th th the th th th th th th th th th th th th thu tho thu the on the on the on the on the the the thus. thus the' the' the' th the' thus thus thus thus thus thus th th thus th thus thus thus thi thi thi. th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the their their the their their their their their their their their their their their their thr-a thrown. thrown. the the an the an the an the an the an the an the an thean throan the an thrown the an the an and you were mentioning my autobiography learning to fly and it was so nice you were so kind about me and you weren't rude about me or David or anything like that. It was just really nice and David was in the bathroom and he heard it as well. And while she was saying all this to me I just focused on her eyes and he was grinning and leaning over her shoulder next to her looking at me just smiling. So I then I then looked look around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the looking at me just smiling. So I then looked look around and I went, oh that's great, who's your friend? And she said, oh that's my husband Daly and I went, oh right yeah, and he was obviously the England

captain at the time and you know probably equally as famous as he is now and and he looked at me and literally in his voice he just went, Funhouse. That's it for this special best of episode. What is Oh my dog with Jack Dee and Sean Walsh? This is what happens when two thick people make a podcast. Come together and talk about the moronic things they've done. What about dogs? This is what happens when two thick people make a podcast. Come together and talk about the moronic things they've done.

What about dogs? What so Jack and Shore did they talk about dogs? No, sometimes they just talk about their illnesses. Who should listen? You don't have to be mad to listen to this. Yes you do. When you consider how many quality podcasts there are out there, you've got to be off your nut to think oh I'll listen to this this this this this this this this.... What is th. What is th. What is th. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Yes. Yes. the. Yes, the. the. the. the. I. the. I. the. the. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. Yes, the. Yes, the. Yes, the the the the. You've got to be off your nut to think, oh I'll listen to this instead. Seriously though, what is it? What is Oh my Dog? Well, they get a guest on and they talk about dogs? I mean sometimes there's not a guest. Because they don't turn up. Sometimes one of the presenters is late because he gets locked out of his house. I don't really know what it is actually. Yeah. It's just a shambles sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh shamb. the shamb. the shamb. the shamb. the shamb. the shambles. the shambles. the shambles. the shambles. the shambles. the shambles. their their their the shambles. What their. What's. What's. What is. What? What. What? What. What? What. What? What? What. What. What? What. What? What. What? What. What? What. What? What. What? What. What? What. What? the th. What. What? th. What. What. What? the th. Oh? the the the the th. Oh? the the the the the th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, the the the the the the the the the the they. Oh. Oh, they. Oh, the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. Oh, the th. Oh just two gentlemen running a podcast. Maybe it's called Oh My Dog, because it's what a podcast would be like if it was managed by dogs. Oh My Dog with Jack D. and Sean Walsh.

New episode every Monday. Hello, my name's Joe Wilkinson, and I do a podcast with David Earl. It's called Chatterbix. Chatterbix is a podcast, that. podcast magazine and chat show isn't it? Yeah. We're on three times a week we have loads of guests, special guests, surprise guests. Can I read some of the highlights? Yeah? Interviewing a Red Arrow pilot. Visiting a haunted house. Chattie, Harry H. A. ta. H. an. And I'm a castery. And I cried. Chattah. And D-H-A-T-A-B-I-X, Chattavix. Andy Bush here from Guestanators. The brand new game show where guesswork beats Google. Join me, our resident quizmaster, Statman, Matt,

and a celebrity guest as we dive into the brains of the great British public. Statman, what sort of questions we've been asking? Well, Bush, here are some of my favorites. Who's the best Irish person? Which finger would you chop off if you had to? And how many human-sized corgis could Prince William beat in a fight? To play along at home and listen to the podcast, just visit guestomators.com. I think I'd chop off my left little finger, by the way.