Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - Now That's What I Call Parenting Hell - Volume 3

Episode Date: April 23, 2022

'Now That's What I Call Parenting Hell - Volume 3'While we're on a very short record break so here's a hand crafted selection of the finest tales and advice from the Parenting Hell podcast archives. Each one a guaranteed banger... TRACK LISTING:1. Romesh Ranganathan (Series 1 Episode 29)2. Jo Brand (Series 1 Episode 37)3. Ivo Graham (Series 1 Episode 39)4. Paloma Faith (Series 2 Episode 7)5. Peter Crouch (Series 1 Episode 43)6. Nadiya Hussain (Series 2 Episode 17)7. Alan Davies (Series 1 Episode 9)See you on Tuesday for the return of Bobby B and Stiff Neck! If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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and member terms apply. Hello I'm Rob Beckett and I'm Josh Willickham. Welcome to Parent in Hell the show in which Josh and I discuss what is really like to be a parent which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, Tales of Parenting Woe.

Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Now That's What I Call Parenting Hell, Volume 3. What are they into? What they are into, which has come to the forgery in lockdown is Fortnite, which is this Battle Royale online video game that we cannot stop them playing. And it's, we went out for dinner with this couple a few, maybe like two years ago. And they were talking about how one of their kids was addicted to fortnight, right? And they were saying, oh, it's just a nightmare. He won't get off it.

And we said to him, we want you to stop playing fortnight for a day or whatever, and he kicked off. And Lisa and I, wea, we're today, thrown, thrown, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and I's, and I's, and I's, and I's, and I's, and I's, and tho, and tho, and thi, and, and tho, and tho, and tho, and tho, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tha, tha, tha, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, thi.... thi. tha, tha, tha, tha, tha.. tha. tha. tha. they're tha. tha. they're tha, tha, tha,, oh yeah, no, that's difficult isn't it when they get into that? And you know when you do that thing, on the drive home we were going, oh isn't it? It's a shame, isn't it, when people allow that? Because I think what's good about us is we're very clear on the rules. And it sounds far too violent, sounds far too violentthat. Cut to now, I've got kids talking about assault rifles for like nine hours a day in my house. The five-year-old talking about, I can get that rocket launcher. I mean, it's insane. And it crept into our lives because our eldest son, who's probably the most, I mean, you know, not just, I would say it's over and above the fact that he's the eldest, I think he's more sensible than a th..... th. th. th. th. th. th. And, th. And, th. It's th. It's more, th. It's more, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, the, the, the, thi, the, I've, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. I's, I's over and above the fact that he's the eldest. I think he's more sensible than the other two just generally. He's kind of got that vibe about him.

And he came and spoke to us and he did it properly. You know, he had supporting arguments. Yeah, he did. He properly did. He said, can I have a chat with you guys about something? He talked us to be about to their..................... It. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to talk. to talk. toe and tooke and tooke and to talk and tooke. And he tooke and to to to to to to to to me to me to me. to to me. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to took. And to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the tooke. the the tooke. the the the the the the the the the tooke. the tooke. thing, he won't get too carried away with it, would it be okay for him to be allowed to play fortnight? And Lisa and I, just wallowing in the pride in what our son had done, just disgusting, kind of just,

isn't it what we really, do you know, sometimes I kind of can't believe what a good job we've done with him. You're like, like the government, like the government when coronavirus are sneaking up, we're doing pretty well here, aren't we? Yeah, honestly, it was so, it was so, so sickening how we, how proud of ourselves, you know, for him to come and talk to us like that. Anyway, so we allowed him to do it, but but the problem is, and this is the common thing that we the common is the idea that you can allow one of your children to do something regardless of age gap and could completely compartmentalize that from the others is a fantasy it's an absolute fantasy so as soon as he started playing it our second son is like can I is it

possible to play in a huge show he provided no supporting arguments if anything his behavior up to that point had been a series of counter arguments to letting him anywhere near fortnight, right? But regardless of that, we didn't want to be unfair, so we said, all right, let's play, and we had all these bullshit rules as well. Can we just say that you're going to play for one and a half hours a day maximum, and listen, and listen, when we say it's time to come off, you come off, there's no arguments and they went, yeah, no, that sounds fair. That's absolutely the way we do it.

And so like mugs, fucking mugs. We went, yeah, okay. And then once you've done too, how can you look at your little, your youngest son and stop him from engaging it? So then, what what's it on? Is it on Xbox? I'm- No, that's the problem, Josh. It's on everything. It's on everything.

It's on PlayStation, it's on Xbox, it's on mobile phone. I'm pretty sure you can play it on a fucking water bottle if you want to. They're like, like, they have extended that game everywhere. There they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. T. T. Theat. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. thoge. that. that. that. the. the. the. the. th. the. th. th. the. It's on, th. It's on, th. It's on, th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the. It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on, toeat. It's on, the. It's on, theat. It's on, the. It's on, that game hasn't reached. It's insane, man. And when you look on YouTube, there's loads of videos, loads of videos, that's, I mean, that's the other side of it, is the YouTubeers that have been spawned by fortnight. My children, if they are not playing fortnight, they are watching YouTube videos of people playing

fortnight and attaching drama to a series of completely inconsequential events that are happening in front of them on the game I mean it is so could you explain fortnight to me yes yes so so so so what it is is have you played I can't I find fortnight quite hard but I play the same style of game but with call of duty war zone which is like real, like a simulation of a war zone where fortnight's like sort of like colorful characters and mad stuff, isn't it? And then you have to build. Is it like Doom? Like a modern version of Doom?

Well, well, you basically, you drop, you drop, you drop down onto an island and you find weapons and there are 99 other people on that island, you know, other characters, all these other players, and you have to be the last one standing. That's the aim of the game. But you can also do it as squads. So you can team up with a couple of mates and there's a social element to it. And the thing that makes it more addictive, because there's lots of games like that, the thing that makes it more addictive

is there's loads of these different skins. You can play as, you know, they've got a spot, dead pool, you can play as aquam, like, and they put these skins on the shop, and the shop has these skins for a limited, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, is, is, their, is, is, is, is, is, is their, is their, is, is, is their, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is................................... The sso. The sop, their, the sop. The sop. The sop. The sop. The sop. The sop. The sop. The sop. The s. The s. The s. The s. The s. The s. The s. The s. The s. The s. The s. The s. The s. The s. The s. The s. The s. The s. The s. The s. The, so... They've got you over a barrel, mate. How much are you spending? Mate, I don't want to think about it. I mean, every day, every other day, I would say, that's not an exaggeration.

One of the kids comes up to us and tells us about a new skin that's been released is available for only 24 hours, and they absolutely have to have it. And you end up and you end up paying 20 quid and they go look at the skin I've chosen and they're playing as a hot dog. And I'm supposed to be... And I'm supposed to be happy about that. It's just a money pit though, those sort of thing. It's quite... No, but the thing is, this is a crazy thing, right? So the kids are trying to legitimize it to me. They're trying to explain it to me that it's a serious thing. And they do do these events and stuff and it is, you know, it's proper top level of fortnight, right? Like one of these tournaments, if you win.

They're not playing as a fucking hot dog, mate. Absolutely not. Imagine trying to get in the camouflage that. Where would you go? In the woods, there's a hot dog. There's three million. I spend the whole game behind the kiosk. It's the only thing about like psychiatric nursing

really is because I worked in a very high kind of, you know, was a very high potential for violence and people getting out of control because it was an emergency clinic. I think that the one thing that I learned to do was to at all costs keep calm and pretend you don't care. That's actually quite good for comedy as well to be good. And if you look as if you don't care, people genuinely think you don't, you know, so whenever there were kind of tantrums when they were small, when they were much smaller, when they're like two or three, you know, I never ever let it kind of sort of get out of control with me because I just think that made things ten times worse. And I've seen parents do it really,

lose it. I saw one today in a restaurant and they properly, like the kid lost it, but then the mumm started started with him and it just made it worse and worse and worse. I'm not going to lie to you though, it was a great watch. Yes, I bet it was. Oh yeah, when your kids are behaving and they're kicking off, it's absolute gold, isn't it? It's a dream. It's the summer holidays as well. I'm coming off the back of the the back of lockdown with the summer holidays and the fear, you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you the fear, you the fear, the fear a lot of pressure on parents when they're working and stuff like that.

And I imagine Joe how was it for you as well? Like I know a burn was at home a lot but like did you get home late and then get up in the morning to try and see the kids and stuff? Because like you know it's hard when you get home late touring. Oh yeah. Oh yes I did all the time. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes I the the th. th. th. Yes I th. th I did all th I did all th I did all th I did all th th th th th th th th thi th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the. the thi that the. the. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. the. the. to to to to toooooooooooooooooo' too' too' too' too. to to to to their their their their the time. I mean for you know for five years I probably got roughly three hours sleep a night. Yeah. And you just kind of get used to that in the end you know it was it was all right really. It was fine and also I actually really did sort of think about what work I did. I never did anything where I had to go away from home for very long. And when I used to tour I used to, I can't believe I did this now, but I used to come home every night. I know. Wow, that is insane.

The best bit of touring is not coming home, Joe. What are you doing? I know it is. I don't know. I just kind of thought, I can't do that. I never did more than one night anywhere. And I think the first the first the first the first the first the first the furthest I went was Newcastle, that's quite a long way home. And actually one night when Eliza, my youngest was really, really young, I flew up to Edinburgh

in the afternoon and then after the, it was a TV thing, when that finished at half ten, I got someone to drive me home and I got in half four in the morning and I can remember like the front door opening and burn just like handing her over to me because she was screaming her head off and poor thing he'd just been up all night with her so yeah anyway those are the days yeah I mean I remember having an argument with Lou about like similar sort of scenario like that when she just went to hand me the baby and then she was going but you get to sit in a car for two hours driving somewhere and I was like, oh my God, what is our life when that's a good point? Like that's the people in the relationship

are jealous about the commute. But it's so true though. I mean, you must do that as well you keep that sort of tally that sort of tally th of that th of th of th of th tha th tha. You tha. You thuuuu. You that, you that, you thu. You that, you that, you that that that that, you that sort of, you that sort of, you that sort of, you that sort of, that that, that sort of that sort that sort that sort that sort that sort that sort, that sort, you that sort, you that sort, you that that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you thi, you thi, thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thi, thi, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th the last second of how long they've sort of you know done done their child duty and how long you've done and if it's half an hour more than no day you're like right. At the start we said to each other we will never argue about who's the most tired okay because someone might be but it's not going to help it's only gonna we just never we're just gonna be both tired like that and it once once the the the the the the the the the they was they was they was they was they was they was they was they was they was they was they to to to they. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. I I I their. I their. I their. I their. their. their. their. their. the the the tell. the the tell. the the the tell. the the tell. the tell.'re just never we're just going to be both tired like that and it once is in the shots and he was desperate to have a row with me she went I did this and I did this I went no we said we'll never make who's most tired of competition but it's not a competition but if it was I'd fucking win what there you are go for a coffee and I'll have the the the kid the kid the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th k thin thin to thin to thin to to to to thin thin to to the to the the the thi this this thi thi to to this to this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this th th I th th th th th th th th th thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the this of the nice things that I've got going on is emotionally

it's been a bit more challenging because me and my daughter's mom aren't together. We broke up last year which was obviously to quote quite a lot of my family, not ideal timing. But while obviously these things are incredibly sort of stressful and sad and complicated, we sort of, it was done with the sort of best of intentions and sort of very amicably, and particularly over the sort of Christmas period, we started to get, I think, into quite a nice co-parenting rhythm in London and we hang out most days and I think at the beginning this year it was like, okay, we're starting to feel now like we're sort of doing okay at this new chapter and maybe even now we might be able to start getting a bit more closure from our relationship. Yeah moving on slightly but still

co-parenting. It wouldn't say it was the best time for a global pandemic to have forced us back into the same lovely listed home. Essentially, the pandemic has led to you to playing a kind of act out of your own parents' situation when they had children, either. Yeah, that's exactly it. I mean, my parents weren't in this specific house. They weren't in Graham Hall, obviously. They weren't in Graham Hall. They were in, they were actually in Japan on another chapter of the wild expat ride that I would have been. I wouldn't try and improvise what Graham Hall would have been in Japanese because I don't think it ends hugely well. I've just a bit clear, so basically you were sort of, would you't living together. I'd, in one of a series of quite sort of cruel,

ironic twists that have befallen my life over the last year, I was living just down the road with a couple of friends of mine called Julian and Rose. Basically, if you went to Eaton and you fall into any sort of trouble in your adult life, you get sent a sort of emergency Julian to bear you out. So they live just down the road and so it was perfect they had a spare room. Unfortunately just after I moved in with them they then told me that they were expecting a baby. Oh my. So my, I mean I was never going to be in their spare room for too long because eventually I'll probably get my own place but it did put a a very specific time that cot is quite small you're a tall. their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I their. It's. It's. It's. It's their their their their their their their their their their their their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. they's. they's. they's. they's. they's. they's. they. they's. they's. they. they's. they's. I. I. I. I. It. It's they're they're they're they're they're they're their. I. I. I's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their they're theytime dead-on. And that cot is quite small, you're a tall man, aren't you? It's not IP, Rob.

During the, you know, of course, occasional darker moments when one wonders, sort of quite how things have come to this, to have a nursery being assembled around you. And they're like, oh, you know, obviously, you can stay as long as you want, but th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to, to, to, the the to, to, the the the to, to, the the the the to, the the the to, to, the, to, to, the, the, the, the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the tod...... tod. tod. today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, tod like, oh, you know, obviously, you can stay as long as you want, but we are just, we're going to build the baby bouncer today if you don't mind. That'll just be here next to your boxes. Before lockdown, I'd moved in with Julian and Rose, but I hadn't completely adjusted, or administratively, to the new situation, and I'm not the most organized person the best of times. So I realized at the end, th th th th the end th th th th th th th the end th th th th the end the the the the the the the thi the thi the the the the the the the the thi the theateate. We're the. We' the. We' the. We' the, the, the, the, the, we the, we the, we're, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, to, to toean, toean, toean, toean, toean, toean, thin, thean, thean, thi.a, thi, or administratively, to the new situation. And I'm not the most organized person at the best of times. So I realized at the end of a sort of evening coming home from a gig that I hadn't got the keys to their place.

But I did still have the keys to my old place, but this was when sleep wasn't going quite as smoothly, and it wasn't ideal if she woke in the night. And I thought, well, I could come in at one in the morning and just sort of sleep on the sofa because I'm doing the early shift tomorrow anyway. But I don't really want to wake her up because that just won't be ideal for anyone. And I'm afraid to say that the decision I took, given that it was only about five hours until she woke up anyway, was to instead use the third set of keys at my disposal, which were the keys to our Ford Focus, which is part out of the black. So, a lovely almighty to in the Ford...

And by the way, 21 thinking of buying a Ford Focus with the potential for their own family taking on this new thrilling shape. I would say that the seats actually don't recline all the way down in the focus. They did in my old Toyota Corolla, but they didn't in the focus. So it wasn't a terrific night actually. Did you not go back seat? I'd go back seat. No, but the back seat has the baby seat in. Of course.

And I'm not confident enough with the ice a fix to take the baby seat out and put it back in again. And again, you know, when I, because I thought, okay, back, it's straight across the back seat and I had forgotten. And again, in a sort of, you know, metaphor for the reminders of my situation, I'd forgotten of course that there it was the hulking, jui baby seat. A couple of weeks before then I'd done a gig, um, I was driving three people to the gig, so I thought, right, great, one in the front with me and then two in the back next to the baby seat. And I would say the j'hui, it takes up maybe 1.25 seats. It definitely, it encroaches into the middle.

So my friend who was doing the gig with me, looked at it and said, oh it's a bit tight in the back, do you think there's any chance we could put the baby seat in the boot? And it was too embarrassing to say, no, because I'm not confident enough of being able to put it back in. Of, it's very stressful. I'm not very practical man. I went to an all-boys boarding school, which prioritized a sort of intellectual growth. So, and also I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was a little, I was a little, I was a little, I was a little, I was a little, I was a little, I was a little, I was a little, I was a little, I was a little, I was a little, I was a little, I was a little, I was a little, I was a little, I was livid because they were a couple. I was like, yeah, cozy up in the back. Really? Hello, Paloma Fay, thank you for coming on the show.

Hello, that sounded like a proper old school radio presenter. Yeah, yeah. Welcome to the show. It's almost daytime. That's what I'm going for. Hello. Yeah, I'm the upbeat one. That's the thing. Josh does it a bit more cash, don't you, Josh.

How would you have done it? I just said, hello, welcome to the podcast. How many fucking kids you got? That is quite a- Not Josh's general sort of state great radio on breakfast DJs. One of the great radio on breakfast DJs. Do you know what? I think I've still got time on 35.

Do you reckon I can pretend. No, it's too late. Greg James is having a go. It's my age. That's a problem with being a radio on DJ. It's a ticking time time time time time time time time. It's a time. It's a time. in time bomb, isn't it? You just, you've got, you know you're getting moved on, it's just when, is it when you wear a boot cut gene? What is it that happens? You walk in Monday and they go, no, he's lost it or she's lost it? We're wearing a mobile phone hulstow. Yeah, exactly. Is that when you walk in with your kids? And like, no kids here. So Paloma, what's your set up with children? What's what's the world's their their their their th. What's th. What's th. What's th. What's th. What's th. What's th. What's th. What's th. What's th. What's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoom? You're thi? It's, th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's that's that's, that's that's, that's, that's, that's that's, th. It is. It is. It is. It is. It's? It is. It's? It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, ti. It's, tick. It's tick. It's tick. It's today. It's today. It's today. It's today. It's today? It's today. It's today. It's today? It's today? What's going on in the world of Paloma faith? I've got one four-year-old and one that's very soon to come

in my inutero. Yeah, so oh wow. Wow. That is as pregnant as you get before you have a baby, in it, really? That was a visual, by the way. That wasn't just us impressed with the terminology. So how far off are you th th th th th th th th th th th are you th th are you th th th th th th th are you th I I I I I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that's that I that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to too try. try try tha try tha thauu. thau. I thau. I toooeooomorrow too to too to to to to to to impressed with the terminology. So how far off are you, Paloma? I sort of, I try not to say because my last birth was so wrong. It's a bit like when you go for your driving test and you don't want to tell anyone you've gone.

So I sort of just, because everything went wrong, she was early, it was a big, bloody mess. Oh dear it was just on many levels so I try not to focus too much on the day. Fair enough and you know it's gonna happen but this not foodish yeah. Well that's the thing I like we like I'll say we but Lou you know it was quite a traumatic birth for Lou and it's a quite a traumatic birth and that was like theyre you know it was so magical we have a home water ber for like, for us it was like, you know, being in the trenches, it was something like, it's not, it wasn't a magical day, we're just happy that it happened and everything was okay in the end but I found it quite a stressful experience,

but you know hopefully this time around me much smoother. So how would your first child, moment? Four. And how are they feeling about the incoming sibling? They say they're excited but I'm sort of sniggering because I'm like you don't know what's coming. I keep saying to her like I'm trying to sort of manage her expectations. Yeah like I said like this baby's gonna cry a lot and it will probably get on your nerves. But I said but then we could just leave it with daddy and run away. Okay. And she's like, sh sh, s, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, th, th, th, the, th, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thin, the the the the the tho, the tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi, thi, thi, tho, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo' tho, tho, tho, th. But I said, but then we could just leave it with Daddy and run away. Okay. And she's like in on it. She's totally like whispers it in my ear like, if we don't like it, can we run away and leave it with Daddy? Now I'm like absolutely.

I'm like you and me, Felma and Louise. Yeah, go. Have you got a plan for like bringing the baby back then? Like some people get present for the older kid or anything like that? Or you just, you know, it's just the escape plan you've got? I bought the present. I thought it was a nice idea. But now that I've received the boxes, I'm not sure how that baby's going to have held those boxes., thaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, tha, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th. th, th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thou, thi, the, tha, tha, theea, tha, toa, toa, tha, tha.a. And, tha. tha. tha. tha, tha, the boxes I'm not sure how that baby's

gonna have like held those boxes inside my stomach for the full term. You could say she picked it up on the way back to the house. That's a good point. I'll say she only had her credit card in there and she just did it online. Yeah. And now you've got like the younger ones. Is there stuff that you did with your the first couple of kids that you think actually that weren't a good plan, that weren't a good idea and you've readjusted for the younger ones that is a bit of a age gap? Well, definitely with the, obviously with the two-year-old we let in our bed and that and that is just, you know, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, the, thi, the, the, thi, the, the, that, that, that, that, that, that, the, the, the, the, the and that is just you know he's in there now at the moment. I think Ab's got pepper pig on at the moment in bed with him.

So you didn't do the bed like letting them in the bed with the oldest two just a two-year-old? No we did we did like with the with the oldest but then she was like right I've had enough of these kids I'm getting in my own bed you know one of those like she wouldn't but she wouldn't come in ours anymore. Then obviously the five-year-old how big's your bed Peter because you're getting quite a big bed anyway? It's a yeah it's big very special bed oh yeah we have to be aft long yeah I think it's a fide. I think it might be eight foot wide oh wow yeah it! Oh wow. Yeah, it's big. That's a beauty. I mean still not big enough for what is essentially six humans. Yeah, I said to, I said to have him,

she, we got the dog as well. And I said, she's not, no, no, no, I've made sure that's downstairs, you know, just stays down the stairs. But she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she was she was she was she she was she was she was she was she was she was she was she was she was she was she was. She she was. She was. She was talking. She was talking. She was talking. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was talking. She was talking. She was talking. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. theeeeeeee. thee the the the the the the the the the the the thi. the. the. the about potentially getting another dog to keep him company and I said, I am not having one more breathing thing in this household. I had to put my foot down there. I said, anything that's living is not coming in here.

It's a carcass of a dead dog. It's dead, it's fine. No, not having it, no. I had to put my foot down. So it was the the kids in the bed thing, that's something that you had to stop then. Yeah, yeah, like I say, with the one-year-old, you know, I just said, look, we this is ridiculous, we're going to have to make sure that we're on it with this one with with with with with this one with this one with this one. with this one. with this one. he's just good as gold really is and we put him in at seven and we pick you know we go we go back in at seven it doesn't make a peep he's just good as gold. Oh that's a dream that. And so the one that's currently in the bed just for people who are listening it's about 8 p.m. what will they be in the bed all night? Well we've got like a cot next to our bed so basically when I he goes to sleep in the the the the the the the the the the the they. and they. the the they. the they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. He is is is is is is is is is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I. I. I. I. I. I. the the the the the the the the the they. I. I. I. t. t. I. t. t. t. I. t. t. t. t. t. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the.to sleep in there and then when I come up, I'll carry him in

there, put him in the cot. So then me and I can watch something or whatever and then we'll, you know, it'll end up getting in about five o'clock or something like that. There's no danger of the rolling out of the bed with an eight by eight is it? It's not. It's not. But, he, the, but, the, the, the, th. But you know he has quite soul for two obviously and he loves lying sideways so

so you know when you wake up you wake up and your faces on the side table imagine that was an eight foot by eight foot bed made and it's still not enough it must have to go for 12 by 12 12 Peter you're gonna have to upgrade your bed I couldn't have to a lot of footballers they have kids quite early and they have like, there's a lot of footballs that are parents. Do you talk about when you're in the dressing, how much should parenting come up? Like was it, because like I'm going to be honest with you? With other comedians that have kids, it's all we kind of complain about. So would that be, would you be sat there with, you know, Harry Kane complaining about having kids? Yeah, without doubt, you know it's the same in any work in industry probably yeah

of course you complain about it and you know you say good things about it people will recommend good holidays to go with the with the family bits and pieces like that so what's strange about footballers is probably you know people do seem to have kids early and I think it's's because you know, earning pretty decent money, what have you and you feel quite comfortable and you're settled with your wife and it's always good to sort of the club sort of encourage having a family because then you're sort of out. Yeah, because you're out of nightclubs, you know, you're out of, you know, you're on the straight and narrow, you know, whatever else you do th you th you th you th you th you th you the the th you the th you're the the th. the the the th. the their their their their're on the straight and narrow, you know, you're changing nappies rather than, you know, whatever else you do.

So did a manager say, did Raffa Benitas go, mate, you've got to have a kid here? Yeah, I've been told, you know, a few times it's all about getting a girlfriend settled down as quickly as possible. The clubs encourage it. Yeah, because it's better for everyone. If you're a anything like, usually, if you're anything like me, you're not eating correctly. You know, you're probably not having as much sleep as you should have. And, you know, certainly when I'm at Ave, she's looking after me in a way that probably I couldn't look after myself. As well, we like playing football. It's so strict, obviously, there's the schedule and all the games and stuff. Have you missed any sort of key moments, like birthdays or like with the kids or first days at school and stuff, like you've had to sacrifice because of playing or the clubs are quite

understanding with that kind of stuff? Yeah, not so much. I was quite lucky in the fact that I had kids late, you know, so it was sort of like, when I say late, it's late in my football career really. So I was 30 when I had my first and then we had to. How the Al P. I passed it, 30. 30? 30? 30. 30. 30. 30. 30. 30. Surprised. In football, you know, they're they're retired so when I look at you know some of the players and you know you know they have that problem of they might be playing a champions league game and their wife is pregnant I mean you can't say I'm just think in their to reference say well I'm not coming because my wife might have the baby you know it doesn't always wash you know it's like you know is she in labour and you say you know I've seen players do it and they say she in

labour and you say no and I said well get yourself on the plane then oh wow so then you could be you know somewhere else and there's been plenty of players that that missed the birth oh and they missed the birth of their kids oh yeah you made you made you made it I made it yeah I've made up in the up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up the the the the up the the the the the I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they they. they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I the their the their the the the the the birth of their kids. Oh no. You made yours though didn't you? Yeah, yeah, I made it. I've made it. I've made it up in there for all four. With all the different nationalities in the dress room as well, obviously in football is such like random, like collection of people that in most workplaces you wouldn't get. Have you heard any sort of wacky ways of their kids? Have you heard any sort of their things th done stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff th. th th. th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their th. th. th. I the. I the. I the. I'm theat. I'm th. I'm theat. I've the. I've theat. I've their their their their their their their the dress room is like, what? You can't do that. Different ways of parenting and having kids. Yeah, I think, you know, one of the best things about being in a football dresser room is like you say, the different cultures

and different ways that everyone does stuff. And yeah, I absolutely love sort of like, just sharing stories and, you know, for instance, Christmas, you know, the amount of people that's people............ their their their their their their their, I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I was, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th....... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their, one. their, one. the know, the amount of people that celebrate on Christmas Eve, that's something that I didn't really know. Like, everyone, like, every, you know, I used to come in, I used to come in on Christmas Day. We trade, obviously we trained on Christmas Day and, you know, the lads have been like, yeah, yeah, we've done our Christmas really, you know, presents, the think, oh yeah, like, and I'd be travelling on a bus on Christmas Day to like Norwich or something. And I'd think, that's probably a good idea actually.

Why don't I start doing that? I was having a turkey sandwich on the bus to Norwich going, yeah, I see that I have a good idea. So this is probably a good way. Hello, Nadia Hussein, how are you? I'm good. Hi, yeah, I'm tired of babysitting my mom's grandkids. Yeah. Can you have them back now, please? I'd say that is the ultimate opening line we've had.

How many kids have you got, Adia? And how old are they? So I've got two boys, teenagers, 14 and 13. At the time, when I had them when they were young, one after the other, it felt like a good idea. I'm regretting that choice now because now I have two teenagers, which is a lot of hormones, a lot of acne and a lot of food. Sounds like a bake-off tent. Yes, yes that was pretty much the bake-off tent and then I've got my 10-year-old daughter who is basically reverted back to being a

two-year-old and she's attached to my ankles. So yeah we're having a great time. Wow. Wow. So normally they'd be at school but you're at home schooling now presumably. Yeah yeah. It's weird because the boys are fine. They're quite good because they're really busy. They've got lots of the schools been really good at giving them work and my little girl is kind of when she comes down and she's like I have to do something creative and I'm like what does that mean? Like that usually means she wants to bake a cake or paint something and I'm like, why don't you go outside and collect flowers and that lasts for all of about five minutes.

Yeah. Yeah, it doesn't want to. Especially when it was snowing for about a week. That's a tough, that's a tough creative isn't it? Yeah, it is. But what I did. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that that's that's that's that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's that's that's that's that's, why that's why that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a th. th. th. th. that's a th. th. th. th. th. thou. th. th. th. th. thou-I. th. th. th. thou-I. th. th. that's a that's a that's a th. that's a that's a that's a tough creative gig, isn't it? Yeah, it is. But what I did find was that when she said I need to do something creative and something for, she had a task and they said, do something helpful. So I got her to sit down and unsubscribe to all my emails. No way. No, why? That's amazing. Nature gave me these little laborers, why not? So I got her to sit down and she and she to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit to sit, to sit, to sit, to sit, to sit, to sit, their, their, their, their, their, their, thoom. tho, tho, tho, tho, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thoom....... And, thoom. thoomorrow, thoomorrow, to, to, to, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, too, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, thoomorrow, thoomorrow, tho, th got her to sit down and she thought it was the best job in the world. She felt really kind of, she felt really grown up by, but you know, I subscribed to a lot of rubbish and so she was unsubscribing and she just said, mom, that's a lot of emails. I was like, yep, you just get, she's done the lot.

Amazing. That's genuinely the best task. I've heard anyone. She kind of called the lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot. She's. to to to to to the lot. to to, the lot, to, the lot, to, the lot, th. She's, th. She's, th. She's, th. She's, th. She's, th. She's, to, I, th. She's, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they. I'm, they. I'm, they. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, they. I subs. I subs. I subs. I subs. I'm, to, to,. She kind of called the lot. She's good to get a kid to do it because she started asking and then I kept saying oh no no maybe keep that one and she said no I'm not asking you anymore. She just it's really good because she kind of just she took hold of the situation and she dealt with it like a true 10 year and she just said back off I'll do this and she did it and like honestly it's the best thing I've done this year is get her to do that. Wow she's like um what's the declutoring woman called? Oh Mary Condo. Yeah yeah she's like that. You know that's her name you know that's my daughter's name it's Mary. Oh wow there we go.

And the boys is helpful or are they a bit more grunty and on their own on the computers and stuff? I mean they're really good at asking me if I need help. It's when I say yes that the truth comes out because it's like often they always ask me. Honestly they always they're really good at asking me do you need help. And it's the second I say yes I do. They're like, oh. And sometimes it's just easier to do it myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself to do it my myself to do it my myself to do it my myself to do it my myself to do it my myself to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do it myself. And I think with the kids boys being at home, like we've had to establish boundaries that we haven't had to normally and actually it's my poor husband that suffered the most because he works from home. He works in IT, boring.

We don't need to talk about that. So he works in IT and his, you know, I want to hear more about your husband's job Nadia. No, please don't. You know what I do? When I when I can't sleep, I ask him to talk to talk about work. And so he don't, honestly it works. It's like a lullaby to me. So because he talks about it and it's so dull and so many letters and it's so boring. And he just a podcast on IT and get people to fall asleep it's great I mean yeah fair though I am genuinely interested how big can the cloud get and where is it how can it just hang there where what it's the sap there's got to be a machine somewhere taking it has it yeah so many so many letters what does it all mean but the poor man he works from home and so usually it's my husband the ca that that are at home the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. the. the. the. the But the poor man, he works from home. And so usually it's my husband and the cat that are at home. And ever since lockdown, now we've kind of taken over the space. And I'm

a whole, I'm at home so much more and the kids are all at home. And so you could see the look on my husband's face. He's like, seriously, get lost. Why are you all here for? So because he had his, like he had run of the, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, he, you, he, you, you, he, he, he, he, he, he, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. th. th. th. had run of the, you know, he could come in, make a coffee, he didn't have to stop to see how I'm feeling. He didn't have, he didn't have to stop to make, he didn't have to stop to make any small talk with me. He could just get it, my husband's not a talker. He gets in, makes his coffee, but when, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he gets, he gets, he gets, he gets, he gets, he gets, he gets, he gets, he, he gets, he gets, he gets, he gets, he gets, he gets, he gets, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he.. He, he. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th to. to. th to. to. to. like oh man but then there's the kids so I think he suffered more than anyone else having us at home but the boy spent so much time upstairs it's really hard because I'm like let's play rummy cub and they're like please not

rummy cub and what do they play instead then are they on computers or are they on their phones? Well we don't they their their their their they they their their they they th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their th. th. th. their th. th. th. th. tho. tho. their their their their their their their their their their their. I's their. I's their. I's their. I's their. I's their. I's their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm toge. I'm to. I'm toge. I'm to. I'm to. I'm their their to. I'm they play instead then? Are they on computers or are they on their phones? Well, we don't allow phones during the week. So, and there was a point where we're like, oh you've got to talk to your friends and you know, you've got to keep socializing. But they were just on the phones all the time. So yeah, Monday to Friday, we've called them and said, Monday to Friday and they thi, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, so. So, so. And, so. And, and their, so. So, and their, so. So, and their, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, and their, so, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their they talk to all their friends on their chats while they're at school so I said not Monday to Friday and then on a weekend we might let them have their phones occasionally but it's like you give them an inch and they and they take a mile and genuinely they get in humps like camels what's going on because they're looking down the time so like they're looking they're looking they're looking they're looking they're looking they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're looking they're looking they're looking they're they're they're they're they're they're their they're they're they're they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th th th th th to th tho to the the tho to to tho to to tho to to tho to to the to to to the to to the I feel like I haven't seen their faces, because they're always kind of looking down, either laptop or phone. So, like, I feel really guilty,

but equally, I'm still the parent, so I'm like, no, you can't have them. I'm enjoying parenting a little bit more than this last year and a half than I have ever, because I don't actually care how they, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, th. to, th. th. th. th. to. thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. thi. thi. to. th. th. th. th. th. they, like, I care how they, like, before, I suppose because I was away a lot more, I used to feel really guilty and so I'd give in a little bit more. And now because I'm at home, I'm like, well, let's just make it like each other's lives held together. Because... Alan, if you had a day to yourself, Kate and the kids were out and you could just do

whatever you wanted for the whole day indoors, what would your day look like? Oh, my concern would be how can I slow time? I would love to sit and watch TV. But what I would really, obviously you know what I'd like to do is, what I'd like to do is to turn on the TV and there's a really good Premier League game on. Yeah. I don't know what I would do myself. What can you do? There's nothing to do. Are you watching Old Sport? Are you watching Old Premier League trying to kind of get the hit?

I tried to watch the Bundesliga. Oh God. I'm going to give myself a Bundesliga team. Yeah. And I chose Colon. he had a lovely time and I turned on watch Cologne and they went two-nil up early I thought oh this is great and then they blew a two-go-lead and drew and I had the same feelings of anger and frustration I have my own team so well this is a mistake. You're looking for a Bundesliga team just support by in Munich don't do it to yourself. Yeah I think you're allowed to glory hunt. Were you pleased when your kids got into football? I would absolutely love that if my daughter got into football.

Yeah, I am. I mean, how it will last? I don't know. They're at an age now when they do what they think daddy likes, you know, but later on they might turn on me. But it gives me more pleasure to be more pleasure that my little, you know, they, but, but, but, but, but, they, they, they, they, they, they, they've, they've, the, the, the, they've, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, you're, you're, you're, their, their, their, their, their, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, tho, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, they watch it. Yeah. It gives me more pleasure that my little, you know, they've got a football team that trains out the back of us and they've got, they started a girls team last year. And there's about 50 girls go over there now whereas my daughter initially they were girls joined in the some of the most sexist people I've ever met. They've got such a low opinion of girls.

And it manifests itself in physical violence. Like a 70s comedy club. It's like a really odd girl. So they don't pass to them, they knock them over, first chance they get. God, that's just suppressed inability to talk to them. That's what that is. How are you at sports stage? Do you get passionate about them winning or like when you watch them? Do you find yourself getting like too exciting you have to calm yourself?

Because you don't want to be that parent? Well I only feel excited about them, William, my daughter did win a race and the real pleasure of it was first of all she amazed herself that she'd won a race and then she turned and ran the length of the track with her arms spread out wide market premier league centre forward to celebrate Winn and I managed to get a picture of that because I was on the track with all the parents at the finish line and the joy on her face is really something to see I think the idea that you should do away with competitive sport I think has seen its day but it gives him such pleasure but I wouldn't you know I'm not gonna be a pushy parent because with it to the point where they start they start hating sport you know like a kind of Andre Agass his dad

yeah end up with a meth habit. I don't want that. No, no. It's not ideal, is it? But I'd rather they were outdoors and looking at the screen, you know? What is your screen time? They're on their iPads a lot, they're watching a lot of cartoons and TV and stuff? We're pretty, we've But I think it's definitely true that if they're on it too long, they become really antsy and narcy and they get, their body temperature goes up, their eyelids start droop in and then

they're kind of unmanageable for an hour. You think, oh, this is some some combination of tiny brain and all this is some some combination a the th, some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some thome of some thininininininininininin, some th of some tiny tiny, some thin, some tiny, some tiny, some tiny, some tiny, some some some some some some some some some some tiny, some tiny brain, tiny brain, thin, thin, th of th of th of thin of thin of thin of thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, th.. th. th. th. th. th. thin, th. th. thin, thin, thin, thin, noise. And they're absorbing a lot of American stuff and there is, there's just a lot of fast-moving imagery and a lot of noise. And even some of your favorite British cartoons have gone a bit crazy, you know, that postman, Pat went mad, and he got a helicopter. It used to be all about, oh, he's got a birthday car to deliver to Mrs. Muggins or whatever, and that would be the whole episode. I think now the idea of them watching Trumpton or even Thunderbirds or even Thunderbirds. Why is that wouldn't be enough? Why is he got a helicopter then? He's just doing special deliveries in a helicopter? Sorry, I know this isn't the point. But why is he got a fucking helicopter? Unless he's delivering a helicopter, there's no need for the budget, the budget of the Royal Mail where he is. And with Sam, they're just a remote community on the Welsh coast. They've got a chopper.

They've got their own chopper just for the well-being of the eight kids at the primary school. So if my kids fall over on Amsterdam, if they're expecting an air rescue, that's what they think is that happening. I find as well, my daughters have started to speak with a slight American swangwang they sound a bit like you know when a Scandinavians learn English by watching friends and that because they're watching so much Netflix my daughter was like I'm kinder hungry I was like what you're kind it just says weird twang because it would they never we've grown up we never watched any American cartoons no really it's only the old well I don't know I mean I did watch quite a lot of Scooby-Doo and the Flintstones

or something, but that just meant me going, oh? You know, that really didn't. I didn't have a rising inflection. Have you lost it at all with them over a lockdown? Is it something that just gnawed away particular you thought that I shouldn't have got angry over that. That was... Well, we've got a brick wall in our garden and it's about six feet high and when I saw the eight-year-old helping the four-year-old on top of it, that I did raise and voiced strong

objections to that conduct. And then I foolishly I shouted from an upstairs window get down and then a four-year-old was looking no don't get down stay there I'm gonna get a helicopter buying them a brick wall a six foot brick wall was a strange present for the garden no I shouldn't say it's the boundary for the next property yes Yes, the visitor the lawn. Yeah, it's getting ready for Tafmada. Over the, over the walk. Come on. That's it for this special best of episode.

We'll be back next week.