Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - Now That's What I Call Parenting Hell - Volume 5

Episode Date: July 15, 2022

While we're on a very short record break so here's a hand crafted selection of the finest tales and advice from the Parenting Hell podcast archives. Each one a guaranteed banger... TRACK LISTING:1. Kerry Godliman (Series 1 Episode 5)2. Jason Manford (Series 1 Episode 6)3. Alison Hammond (Series 1 Episode 12)4. Lorraine Kelly (Series 1 Episode 17)5. Judi Love (Series 1 Episode 25)6. Robbie + Ayda Williams (S1 EP 66)7. Michael Sheen (Series 2 EP5) If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Looking for a collaborator for your career, a strong ally to support your next level success, you will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue. York you.C.A. What does Possible sound like for your business? It's more cash on hand to grow with up to 55 interest-free days. Redefine possible with business platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Turns and Commissions apply. Visit MX. C.A. slash business platinum.

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicum. Welcome to Parent in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully, how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

Hello, you're listening to now, that's what I call Parenting Hell, Volume 5. So have you had any big bust-ups then with your teenager? Yeah, we've had loads of rouse, yeah. And anything in particular that's a bit of a sticking point that it's not getting resolved to keep cropping up? Me breathing, me waking her up in the morning? What's your schedule? I get her up now Now we're back at school. In the Easter holidays she was sleeping until gone 11, 12 most days.

I've been getting her up now by nine, like with some attempt to have some structure. And she'll get up and sort of get on with it. But yeah, she'll do the morning. Both of them do the morning. They do the work in the morning. And then, to be honest, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, the, the, the, they, they, they's, the, they, whether they're doing it not or not, I don't really know. This is the thing we're finding, is a lot of parents who are homeschooling are saying they're just knocking it out in the morning. Yeah. Do you think the schools are a bit long? A lot of what goes on in school isn't the academic learning anyway. It's all the other

and that's what I'm feeling sad that they're missing out on. The academics, I just think that's just data, isn't it? I mean, they'll retain that often. Otherwise, if teaching was just about like learning information, there wouldn't be schools. They'd all be doing an open university, wouldn't they, from age four? But like, they need to go out with school, they need to see their mates, they need to sort of have the other day, mom, why are you so aggressive? I'm like, that's my brand. That's my brand. That's who I am.

That's my USB. Yeah, Elsie couldn't be less interested in, you know, my comedy and stuff like that. I did, we got asked to do these little clips, like for your lockdown. We made a little clip, so we totally did some comedy sketches and stuff and she was involved she was a bit more interested in that but I was like trying to sort of explain how to do it she was like well what do you know I'm working comedy I do know I'm working comedy I do I've got quite a funny story about that about parenting it's a bit name droppy if you were suffer that that's all basic basic when me and Romish was doing the Shania Twain episode for

our series about country music we went about Shania Twain and after a show we were seeing the dressing room like drinks there with her and all her family and friends and her son was there was like 17 and he wants and they live in Switzerland and he wants to go to to LA to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be a to be a music to be a music to be a music to be a music to be a music to be a music to be a music to be a music to be a music to be a music music a music a music to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a s.. I. I. I. Shea. Shea. Shea. Shea. Shea. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. I I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. She. She. I. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's the the the the the theto LA to be a music producer, right? And Shania Twain, we're having this weird conversation with Shania Twain, one of the greatest selling female artists of all time, one of the great selling artists of all time, is saying to him, look, go to London, move to London and learn your trade there and then when you get a bit older then go to LA you don't want to go to to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the to the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their telan.lainneneneneneneneneneneneaulan. te you te. te and teo'l. their you their you their you their you what do you know about the music industry? You don't know anything about production and I just did that. Amira Mish cracked up and like we're in the O2 arena that she's just sold out after moving from a small town to Nashville to become this next star. It doesn't matter who you are, kids will never,

never listen to their parents. Carrie, do you think your children are like proud of what you do? They don't think they like me much. No, I don't know. Yeah, I think so. I don't know about my daughter. I don't think, it's so hard to sort of navigate her 13-year-old personality and hormones. It's so complex in there, to be honest. I don't know, I, thi thi thi thi thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin' thin' thin' thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I don't thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi It's so complex in there, to be honest. I don't know really. I think my son is, I think my son's proud, but as I say, he's still little and sweet and sort of malleable, you know. Yeah. The team thing has been massive and really sudden, like she was still, before she got a phone and started at secondary school and stuff like that, I still felt relatively in control of her life.

But as soon as that began, I felt like there was this huge shift and it's normal and it's normal and it's normal and it's normal and it's normal and it's really hard as a parent, to let them to their kids older and they all say it's all not like even, you know, Shania Twain. It's like, it's all normal, it's all normal, but it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all like, it's all, it's all, it's all like, it's all, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, it's all, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, like, it's all, like, it's all, like, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, like, it's really hard as a parent to let them go and let them move on. There's all these milestones like when they start school you have to let go. I'd love to let go at this moment Carrie absolutely love to let go. I think this must be a really tough age to be in the lockdown with your little girl? Josh Josh I found out today your daughter goes down for a 90 minute nap and I think you're moaning too too much too much too much too much too much too much too much too much too much too much too much th th th the the their their their their their their their their their their their. You're their. You're their. You're their. You're their. You're their. their. their their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their. their. their their. their their. their. I's is their. I's is. I's is. I's is their. I's is. I's is their their their their their their thi. I's thi. I's to te. I's te. I's te. I's to. I's te. I's to. I'm thea. I'm thi. I'm their their their thi. found out today, your daughter goes down for a 90 minute nap and I think you're moaning too much about this lockdown.

I'm throwing it out there. Yeah, but I use that 90 minute nap to do this. Why? I like to work around the diaries of our guests and let them choose the time. Oh shut up. If my kid was at a 90 minute nap, I would be starting this as soon as they woke up. That's how I'm rowing. And that is why I am a good husband. Obviously you've got like a houseful Jason, but if for like in a bit of magic that like your wife and all your children just got disappeared for 24 hours and it was still locked down. You had the entire house to yourself and the day to yourself. What would you do? What would that day look like? I think it would, half the day would be, I'd try and sort out me ultimate team on FIFA.

You know, I've still got a write back at who's 76. So I'd probably sort that out, I'd definitely do that. But I mean, trying to, crack it, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'd that, I'd that that that that to sort that to sort that that that that to sort that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that day that day that day that day that day that day that day that day that day that that day that, that day that day that day that day that day that day that day that day that day that day that day that day that day that day that day that day that, that day that that th that th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, thathen, thathea thathea thathea thathea that, that, that, thate thate thate thou. It's thatea' thatea' thate thate thate thate that, that, th out, I'd definitely do that. But I mean, trying to, crack it, I mean, trying to sort this house out. We've done nothing but clean. Spring clean the house. But it's like, you know, it's like shoveling snow while it's snowing when you've got kids around. It's just relentless. And so I think what would be nice would be just to get to a point where everywhere where everywhere everywhere everywhere everywhere everywhere everywhere everywhere everywhere everywhere everywhere everywhere everywhere everywhere everywhere everywhere everywhere everywhere everywhere everywhere where where where where where where where where where where everywhere was lovely and tidy and done and then I could bring them all back and go right we at least I know now that the the basics are done yeah

so I could just keep on top of it just that's been a fresh start with the house oh what a tree that's a problem situation in but we were hoover and there'll be just crumbs admit that to the point now where the local birds flying into the back door because they know there's gonna there there's there's there's there's there's there's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to their to to to to to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to to their their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the local birds are flying into the back door because I know there's gonna be food on the floor. We've become like Chaffarga Square mid-90s, it's feeding ground. Yeah, so I'd probably, I'd do a bit of FIFA, I sort of the house out, and I started one of those, the career mode the other day, and my wife was asleep next to us,

and I thought, I just got a start on this and she woke up at one point and obviously you started like a youth player my wife woke up she said what you're doing and I said I'm just playing FIFA she said why aren't you playing? I saw I'm waiting to get on. She said I was waiting to get on I'm new I'm new to the team so I don't get like last 10 minutes for a few weeks or you know make a name for myself she said you've got half an hour to play football and you're spending on the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the the th. their th. th. th. I'm th. I'm to to to to to to to to th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm to say. I'm to say. I'm to say. I'm to say. I'm th. I'm th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I's. I. I. I's. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm t. I'm just just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. t. t. t. t. t. te. te. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just half an hour to play football and you're spending most of it, sat on the bench watching the computer playing football. It's a tough game, isn't it? Tough game out there. I've got him.

Let me ask you guys a question, yes. In your house, is there like a chores league table with your wives? No, well, on a Sunday or I'm trying to get it moved to Saturday is cleaning day so we do all the cleaning in one day. Oh wow. Yeah so it's like one of us will take my daughter and then the other one will clean and to be honest last week I was I was just desperate to do the cleaning because you're just in your own world. Yeah, you put the radio on you can podcast. Right. Well I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the the the the the the the the the the th, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is the the the the the the the the th is is is, is, is, is is, is is, is, is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is, is, is cleaning, is cleaning, is cleaning, is cleaning, is cleaning, is cleaning, is cleaning, is cleaning, is cleaning, is cleaning, is cleaning, is cleaning, is cleaning, is cleaning, is cleaning, is the the the the thi is thi is theto do the cleaning because you're just in your own world. Yeah, you can put the radio on, you can broadcast. Right. I know. Well, I discovered ironing the other week.

Do you remember? Oh yeah. All right. And I got a flashback to my dad doing it. So my wife does it, she's in, we've you. It is, it's the secret, it is the, this is the dream. Ining board in the living room, telly on. Oh, yeah. Nobody, nobody bothers you because nobody wants to do the job.

Yeah. Nobody checks on you. Yeah. Nobody comes in to check. And also, I'm lost a seven year old gonna moan about a crease in his pants. There's no comeback. There's no comeback. And also if you're holding a red iron and the something's happening, you got oh can you grab the kids? I've got this. Yeah. It's like a hot cup of tea with a baby in it. Oh do you mind I've just got this one second. I got a flashback of my dad that that that. My dad used to do the ironing on in on on on on on a Saturday on a Saturday on a Saturday on a Saturday on a Saturday on a Saturday on a Saturday on a Saturday on a Saturday on a Saturday on a Saturday on a Saturday on a Saturday on a Saturday on a Saturday on a Saturday on a Saturday on a Saturday on a Saturday on a Saturday. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I things. things. I things. things. I things. things. I things. things. I's. things. things. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. oh my God, he was ahead of the curve, that man, watching final score doing the ironing, nobody bothered him. Well it's that thing, isn't it? What used to be a job when you've got kids suddenly becomes your escape? Oh my God. Great cycle of a podcasting. Oh my god. It's a pornographic. I put the bins out yesterday,

it was like two weeks in Iron Apples. Have you got any like, if you had one tip that you've kind of learned that's actually helped you parenting in lockdown, is there anything that you've kind of gone, oh that would really help other people parent in lockdown? It's hard, isn't it? I think because, you know, when, again, when we talk about pre-lockdown or early lockdown, Jason, you know, I was thinking about learning Portuguese and sign language and maybe the ukulele, and now I'm just trying to get through it roughly within the same boxing weight category as I started.

Yeah. Yeah. I, God, I would hate to patronize anybody by giving them tips on how to parent, cricke, what you end up doing is playing this weird like game of, I call it top tired or not tired with your wife, which is essentially, unless you are the most tired, you're not tired at all. That's how it works, like in relationship. And so you're constantly on this, like, you're just dropping things into conversation. You know, I did, I I I, I, I the the the the the th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I's, th. I'm, th. I'm, thin. I'm, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th th th th, like, you're just dropping things into conversation. You know, I did the washing the other day. And you know, my wife said,

oh, nice, are you doing that? I said, yeah, I thought I'd get it done. And she meant to say it as a compliment. What she said was, Oh, no, it's really good though I am doing the washing right now in the present, I've not been doing it for last five weeks, you know, so there's those little, those little like digs, I had a moment, let me tell you this, I had a moment. At least you didn't take it with you, Jason, and then I'm holding it with you, and then I mentioned it. I'm then, I'm holding it, I'm holding it, I'm holding it, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm not, I'm not, I'm thing, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. I'm th. I'm, I'm th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm not, I'm not, th. th. th. th. th. thin, th. th. th. th thin, th th thin, th. th thin, th thin, thin, th thin, thin, thell you this when we first started the lockdown I said to the kids right we've done it I've done a schedule I think that's my tip

actually is schedule schedule and routine that is the only thing that's gonna get you through this whole process so you know I've been getting the kids up as if we were going to school at we start at half nine so it's not too bad but you know still makes to the to make to make the to make the regular school time and we have a break time at the same time and we have lunch time. I get the kids to make their own lunch, that's been a revelation. And then in the afternoon we do some chores around the house together. So I get the kids, right, you are going to do Hoover upstairs and it's been, you know, it's been quite good in that respect. What I did on the first day was my wife was in the kitchen, I was just saying to the kids, right, this is the schedule, we're going to do Joe Wicks, we do this, we do this, do this, do this one. I said heard like a scoff you know that noise you like only your wife can make that just goes right into your heart from another room she sort of went ha and I said what you're laughing at she said oh you're

gonna teach them washing her you're gonna teach yourself first to you and I said I'm not this is in front of the kids I went I'm on a minute I said I've been using that wash, I've been using a washing machine all my life, man and boy. I know me way around a washing machine. I might not use it at the moment. I know my way around a washing machine. I was livid. I was livid. And she said, go on then, show us the washing machine. I said, don't in and it was the draw for the dryer. I wasn't even looking at the right team. I'm just stood there with the wrong drawer. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber one for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats.

I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings. Not whatever you think University is for. Get Uber 1 for students. A membership to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary.

Eligibility and member terms apply. Allison Haverd, welcome to the show. We finally got you on with me and Josh. Hello. The tech situation got a bit hairy. Well, we should tell the, we should tell the distance that basically we've had half an hour hour, tea, tea, minutes into that I'd given up hope that it was going ahead so yeah I'm not I've not got my game head on you was literally either I know it was done I was cooked mate I never I thought that last attempt I thought this will never work and then you plunge

something in Alison and you went yeah that was perfect I was like what happened in the last 28 minutes I literally I was like a technical genius. Well, done. I went to imports and outpour. I was all over it. Allison, could you give the listeners a quick rundown on your setup at a moment, your kids and where you're living and what's happening? So I'm living just outside of Birmingham. It's quite rural. I've only just moved in January, and I've moved

to a house which is nearer to my son's school, just to make things a little bit easier for him because we lived about eight miles from the school before, so we were doing the school run and it was, I had to take him to school every single day and it was like, I can't take this anymore. How long was the drive? How long was the drive? I the drive about four years, but it's only seven miles. But imagine that at rush hour. It takes about an hour. No way. It's about an hour through rush hour. Honestly.

Two hours of your day. Yeah, it's, well, I never used to pick him up. He used to always get the bus home. But I used to always take him to school every single morning. But I did it for four years and I thought that's enough now. And this is his final year and I've actually moved, I've got round to move him. He moved and it's his final years. He'd done that for four years and then he moved. I know what was the point? I know what was the actual point? But honestly I can't tell you how much it was actually doing my head in, that commute every morning. Just imagine. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the the th. th. th. th. It is th. th. It is th. th. th. It is his th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He the thi thi th. He was he this is this is this is this is this is this is this is his this is his this is his this is his this is his this is his he he their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their move. He their move. He their their move. He their their move. He their thi. He moved. He moved. He moved thi. He moved the move. He moved the move. He moved. He moved. He moved. He moved the move. He moved. He moved. He moved. He moved. He moved hea. He moved he he he imagine I had to get out of bed. It's terrible. I had to get ready, get dressed. You weren't allowed to drive him into school anyway because of lockdown. So that was pointless. You've done it for about four weeks. You spent five years at this school doing an hour of that. Yeah, yeah, I've got into debt. I've got a bigger mortgage. Yeah, thanks for that Rob. Thanks for making me feel so much better.

Thanks. And my workers, a lot of my workers gone, got no money. Great, thanks. You're working from home, Alistair. We've seen you and actually your son, he's about how old's aid and 15 is he 14, 15 now and he's homeschooling, yeah. He's your cameraman. He. He's my cameraman, but I do have to pay him. I have to pay him, babes. It's not just like... Do you? Yeah, yeah, we negotiate, I think, five pounds enough. I think for a 15 year old. You know, five pounds, a shot. For a child. Yeah, get up out of bed. He has to get dressed to come and film with me, obviously. He has to get to to to to to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get the to get the to get to get the to the to to the to the to their to their their their their their their their their to bea. I to bea. I'm to bea. I'm their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Ia. Ia. Ia. Ia. I'm te. I'm tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. te. toe. toe. filming in the garden he has to get ready, he has to have shoes on, have a shower, because it's like work. But we negotiated £12.75 and that's what we're going to go with. Every time he films for me it's £12.75. I'm actually filming tomorrow on the show and they want me to do a picnic and they were asking if Adam wants to join me and I just said no I just knew he would want to he's happy behind the camera not in front yeah but this morning I've got a lot of

money well they're not giving it to me babes they're not giving it to me imagine if he was on a bigger fee than you does he does he get excited by the fact John TV Allison he really doesn. Josh, he doesn't care. I think he's proud because I've seen him, I did Rocky Horror Show last year and I was the narrator and I saw him in the audience and you know when you can just tell someone was really proud of you. I see like glints of, oh, that's my mom.

I think he's really impressed with like how I do things. He says I he Instagram mom you really might make people interesting it's really you like make something cat and I think he likes the fact that I can make the cat and I also from a teenage boy you don't get much out of them and never mind any sort of love or admiration at that age do you so anything's a plus or something? And do you find that it's hard to get stuff out of them? To be honest with a their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to to th. thi. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I. I I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's th. I's th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thin. I'm th. I'm thin. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm try. I'm ty. try. I'm th. I'm to to to to of them. To be honest with you, he has his moments. He's still, like, there's glints, I still see him as like a little baby, and I still see him like, he does still want to be my best friend, you don't mean? Like, I go cycling with him and he always says yes, okay, do you want to go for a bike ride? And some people would find that, I think th.... that. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th thin thin thi thin thi thi thi thi thi to to to to thi thi to to to to to to to to to to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th still see th still see th still see th still still still see th still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I to to to to to to to to to to to toei. I toeii. I toei. I to to to to to thi thi thi thi th who wants to go around with their mom on a bike, but he loves it. He loves it. They don't go very far because I get really tired. We normally just go around the block.

And then I'm like, I'm tired now, I'm going back. But he always comes with me. He just enjoys like the try and I'm thin. I'm thinking of getting to getting getting getting bites, the hybrid or something like that. We could just move to the country by a house nearer there. That's what you normally do when you've got a long journey to deal with. Yeah, but what about his school bays? He's got a year left at the school. You're saying he's not going back. He's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the their to their to to their their their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. He's their their their. Hea. Hea. Hea. He's their. He's their. He's th. He's th. He's th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th the th the the the the the their their theiracher? I'm a fantastic teacher. I'm amazing. He doesn't listen to me, but I am amazing. I think I'm a brilliant, I think I'm a really good motivator. I can motivate. He just doesn't listen to me. So what? How does it work out? Take us through

the school day. So in the morning he does have a sleeping, I'm not going to lie, but I've just had an email to say he's got a lesson at 1125. So I would wake him up an hour before and I'd say go and get a shower. Yeah. Tell me no he's not having a shower today. I go okay. And then the computer goes on and I just listen to the teacher teaching my son and then afterwards she goes, go off and do this assignment. And I have to to he to just he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he. He he. He he. He he. He's hea. He's hea. he. He's the to go to go hea. hea. hea. to go to go to go to go to go to go. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's t. He's. He's t. He's t. He's t. He's t. He's tel. He's tel. He's tel. He's tell. He's tell. He's tell. He's tell. He's tell. He's tell. He's tell. He's this assignment and I have to just make sure he does it. Once he's done it, he can go and do whatever he wants, which is normally a game console. What game? It's the one where he kills lots of people in the street and the tax people. It's obviously escapism. Do you miss him being little? I do actually, yeah, of course I do. I loved when he,'t answer back and he just sat there looking at me, doughy-eyed, it was lovely. I miss everything about those times, feeding times. I used to love doing food and mixing different things, broccoli with a bit of meat, put a bit of seasoning in. I'd be like, wonderful lights, he used to love my food. And then he the the the the the the the their their their their their their th. And th. And th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. I'd th. th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd to th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd the, th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I's, I, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, th. th. And, th. th. th. th. t. t. t. too. too. too, t t too. And, t too. And, t too. And, t t toge. And, th. And, th. And, th be like, wonderful lights, I'm wonderful, I used to love my food. And then he'd go to house places and he was like, you know, I'm not feeling that. It's not seasoned. I always seasoned my baby food. My baby food was a tho-boy.

I should have sold that baby food. It was amazing. I should have, I should have. What's your tip? What would you seasoned? Salt pepper? to salt pepper? to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. What's. What's. What's th. What's the th. What's th. What's th. What's, I th. What, I th. What, I th. What, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I, I, I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the. I'm the. I'm theat th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the the purpose seasoning in. I used to have like, mashed potato, sweet potato, a bit of chicken, broccoli, little bit of all-purpose seasoning, and he used to absolutely love it. All purpose, but what other purpose is there than seasoning? It's all-purpose? What else you do with it? Bull spot on someone's edge, all purpose? I've run out of toilet paper, don't worry. Here you go, all purpose.

Once this goes out, they rush on all-purpose seasoning and Tesco is going to go absolutely mad. Anything just becomes amazing. A steak, bit of all purpose. Chicken, bit of all purpose. Mince meat, bit of all purpose. It comes out as if you're a chef. Honestly, I'm not even joking. There's absolutely no reason why anyone should be cooking any bland food around here now.

Do you know I'm a bit of a chef now, guys? Well, I know you've got an ingredient. I'm aware of that. Yeah, that you've got one ingredient. Allison, can you help us? That's your boy's older now. We're struggling to get our daughter's potty trained. How did it go for you? Do you know what? I don't, I don't know how I did it, but I'll be honest with you. He just started going to the toilet. It was the weirdest thing ever. He used to wake up in the middle of the night and just go to the toilet. For one day he, he just, he, he, he, he, he hea, he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he th. He th. He th. th. thi thi thi thi, he just thi, he just thi, he to to to to to to th thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, I put him into the pull-ups, so you could start feeling the wetness and stuff like that.

He was like, I don't like this. Literally started going to the toilet. I was like, oh my god, I am supermum. I am supermiled. I don't mean to make you feel bad or anything like that. It just happened. I was like, tha, tha, tha, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I th. th. than, I thi, I thi, I tho, I tho, I thi, I thi, I th. th. th. th. th. th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, I don't thi, thi, thi, thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. to to to et? So the thing is, I don't think you should worry, because eventually they will go to the toilet. I'm not worried, Alitin.

I'm not worried, because I know that'll happen, but I want to know how long I've got to pick up human shit for. Don't you find it weird that your child's human shit is okay. All you've got to do, Rob, it's very simple. Just add a bit of all-purpose seasoning, it's totally fine. So Lorraine, what's your setup, parenting-wise? Well, we've just got the one, and she is a grown woman and far more sensible than I will ever be, and she just celebrated her 26th birthday, and she was over in Singapore and working in Singapore being there for the last sort of three and a half years and I've really missed her and then she's back

here which is lovely and like of course we're driving her crazy but yeah that's kind of our job do you have you defaulted to like when she was a teenager again have you defaulted to those roles? Not really it's quite different I think thi th th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the theeeeeeeeean thean thean thean thean theean thee the the the the thi thi really, it's quite different. I think she is kind of more like the parent. It's just like looking for us and telling us to tidy up. It's really quite weird. It's mom, you have to tidy up. You know, and she's like, she goes out and like does the shopping and we have to say what we want.

Actually, it's fine. It's really really really really really really really really really really nice. It's really nice. It's really nice. It's really nice. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's nice. It's really. It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it. It's. It's. It's. to. to. to. to. to. It's. to. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really nice. It's really nice. It's really nice. It's really nice. It's really nice. It's really nice. It's really nice. It's really nice. It's really nice. It's really nice. It's nice. It's really fine. It's really quite nice. I'm quite enjoying it. But we do drive her nuts, but that's fine. But you know what? She was quite good. The teenage years weren't too bad. I mean, there was a lot of eye rolling and a few doors slammed, but it was actually okay. But the thing with us was, I was away for quite a lot because I worked down in London. And we were all together until she was about 12, then went back to Scotland for her to go to secondary school in Scotland and my husband really wanted to go home as well. So I did the commute. Not every morning, surely. Not every morning, not a couple of days. It was crazy, it was crazy, but it was doable. But it was doable then because Dundee has got an airport, and tiny little airport, which is so easy, you know, to get there and everything. It was a joy, it was a, it was a, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was a, it was, to, it was, it was, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a to, a to, a to, a to, a to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, too, toda.a, too, too, to, to, to, to, to, and everything it was a joy it was like getting the bus and and we went from London City but Steve was the parent that would say eat your broccoli brush your teeth do your homework and I would be the parent that was like hey look I've got a heat magazine and then free lipstick and you know I was like in a good cop bad cop a little so so that it was a try and a little bit kind to th so strange th so strange th so strange th so strange th so strange th so strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange to th th strange strange strange strange to to to to th to to th to th to th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th to thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the thi thi thi th, it's all the, all the time. I mean, I just feels if it's been two minutes ago that she was a wee tiny baby and it's just gone by so fast. I know everybody says

that to you, but until you're living it, you just, I think it was literally two minutes ago that she was a wee toddler and interested in every, I love the toddles are really interesting. And the questions and the why, why, why, I just, I loved all that. The curiosity of kids I think is the best thing. How was it, how was it, how was it as a teenager when, you know, you being so famous and on the tele every day and everyone knowing, you know, her household name, knowing that, you know, her mom was her own, how was that as a teenage. the teenage. the the teenage, how the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their the. thee. How is thee. How is thee. How is thee. How is thee. How is thee. How is thee. How is thee. How is thee, how is, how is, how is, how is, how is, how is, how is, how is, how is. How is. How is. How is. How, how. How, how. How, how. How, how. How, how. How. How, how. How, how is, how is, how is, how is a th. How is a th. How is a th. How is a th. How is a th. How is a teenage. How is a teenage, how is a teenage, how is a teenage, how is a teenage, how is a teenage, how is th. How is their, how is their, how is their, how is their, how is their, how is their, how is their, how is their, how is th. th. t. te. t. t. te a teenage was she proud of you? Was she a bit embarrassed? I would say on the whole probably more embarrassed than anything else. I mean of course she was really funny when I remember when she was tiny and she said to me and it was before people they'd to mea and it was before people. She said to me, she says mom why do you scribble your name on bits of paper for people? It's really kind of quite bemused. So she's never really kind of kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. that that. that. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. So she's never really known anything else. And the thing is, when I'm at home, I'm just her mom. She was never really that impressed,

which I think is quite healthy, although when she was five and she met Westlife, she quite liked that. Do you think, like most people, obviously, the thing that they have is, Oh my god, the joys of working back early that you are up. And when she was teeny teeny a couple of times I was able to take her into work and that was fit because you can just pick them up and carry them so that was okay. And obviously I wouldn't leave her on her. the one of the one of the te te te te te team team team team team team team team team team team team team team team team team team wo the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one team team would team would the one the one team wo team wo tiny. the the the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tie. tie. tie tie tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny often, but at least I had the, you know, I had the occasionally I could do that. They were really good. So you were sat

there doing an interview knowing that there's some runner who's looking after your baby the kind of green room. She was sleeping. But like I needed them my mom would come down. I mean my when she was born you know my mom was like right it was 11 o'clock at night and I phone my mom and of course she's in Glasgow and she's like how do I get to you? Obviously I'd say the country's got a kind of view of Lorraine, you're a very kind of clear character would you say as a mom I can't imagine you disciplining a child? Can you, can you tell someone off Lorraine? Can you get angry? No, I can, oh yes, I can. I mean it takes a lot. I am like, going to go Hulk. He wouldn't like me when I'm angry. We saw the Esther Vay clip. I've seen

that. I don't do it very often. I really don't, but like, I mean, that's who, like my pals know, do you know what I mean? That's who, that's when I'm sitting having a few, a few, down, then that's, that's, they know. And then they say, tell me about this one. What do you think? I go, well, wait till you hear this, you know, I have to keep her caged. But yeah, I find it, I, I, I, I, I, I, I find it, I find it, I find it, I find it, I find it, I find it, I find it, I find it, I find it, I find it, I find it, I find it, I find it, I find it, I find it, I find it, I find it, I find it, I find it, I find it, I find it, I find it, I find it, I find it, I find it, I th. thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I th. th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, I thin, I thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, th. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi. thi. The thing I am though, the thing I would always be is I'm not our best friend, I'm her mum. You know how you get parents sometimes saying, oh, we're really, really good pals and some people go out with their kids. Not that I mean, we would go out for something to eat with her or something, but and I would like to think that she that she th. th she I'm a mom? You don't want to hear everything. And that's why you've got your pals to tell all these things. So I think it's a bit of a strange idea to think that you can be your children's gained and I don't think it's a good thing. So if she says, Mom, I need to tell you and you go, I don't want to know actually. She should tell your mates. to to to to to to to to to to their their to their their their their to their their their their their their their to their to their to tell you to tell you, to tell you, their the thin, their their thi thi. thi. thi. to their their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thin. thin. thin. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell the the thi thi thi. the thry and talk to them about like, did you find that you totally comfortable

talking to your 15 year old daughter about you know boyfriends and what she's up to and all that kind of thing? Yes. My mom, I grew up and my mom, she would be like, no boyfriends, them just going to want to dig you out. Now if I break that down in like translate that in English it means they're just gonna want to have sex but her word was dig you out that was that was a big you out yeah yeah that's a graphic image like a fucking highway maintenance worker that's you like true like it's tarmacking fucking hell from your mom from your mom Like it's tarmacin, fuck it out. From your mum. And depend on what kind of person you are, you might actually find that line quite intriguing.

Ooh, do you like, yeah? I'm going to treat you like HS2, baby. I'm going to open the thing and dig you out. My dick's going to be like a shovel, yeah. Oh, shovel dick's turned up. Oh, again, you know what I mean? You don't say that shovel dick, you might not have a job, but he's got a shovel dick? Do you know?

Could I just ask? Was it just your mom's phrase? Or is everyone saying, dig you out? I don't think, I think there's a few people that might use the term, and it's a very very very very very, but I, but I, but I, term, term, term, tum, thum, thum, thum, thum, thum, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thooooooo-s, too-s, thi,'s a few people that might use the term and it's a very vulgar term but I think it's in the term of like there's more context to it, you know, there's more layers to it. It's more about not just the physical but it's the emotional and mental analogy behind it in the sense of having no respect for you and just you know. Digging someone out, the term I was like taking the Mickey out of them or being horrible. If someone's digging you out, you guys, they were digging me out for my outfit and stuff. Not that time. So I think maybe just maybe just the message was maybe just disrespect?

Yeah, just like disrespect, you know, have sex with you and leave you and haven't got no, you know, feelings for you, you've got to be careful that. So I've kind of taken a different tone, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Was that a conscious decision then that you thought, well, I didn't really get what I needed. I had questions about dating or growing up and stuff like that, but I didn't really really really really really really really really really the chance the chance the chance to get to get to get to get to get the chance to get to get to get to get to get to get the chance to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to speak, you to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to, you, you, you, you, you, you, you to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to be their their their that, you that, you theananananananananananeaneananananeananeaneanananeanananeanananeananeanananeananananane and., you toe to our mom about? Was it a conscious decision to rely on your approach for your daughter? Yeah, I think so, because I think like my mom was great and you know, my friends we used to talk with my mom, we used to laugh and she just say, because she was older, say the most hilarious things, but I still think like in this day and age I think kids have got so much other kind of areas where they can hide information.

So I feel like I have to kind of, you know what I mean? There's so much different apps. There's so much different people that they're reach or speaking to people is just so wide. So I thought, you know what, let me just try and I work to both of their different personalities. My daughter's more the one that will cringe and not want to hear it. And my son, he's open, he knows every, he's the air. Oh, well, he wants to ask questions and he wants the answers. My son's a kind of kid where he knows the answers, especially if it's quite a uncomfortable

question, but he was still asked you just to see you embarrassed. Oh really? Oh, what kind of things is he asked? He'll just be like, oh, you know, so labor was really hard. I heard there was a thing called tearing. What is that, mom? Oh, my God, that bloody out. I only heard that three years ago. Yeah. Well, this is what I'm saying. He would ask that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, tho, that, thi, tho, tho, tho, thoomoma, tho. tho. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, th. th. th. th. thaa. toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.. Well, this is what I'm saying. That he would ask, I don't know if he's asked that specific question, but that in a kind of under he will ask that real deep where you're like, what the hell?

Are you, are you, are you, do you ever double down and try an embarrassing back? No, this kid's different, that down, he's a different, he's a different breed. Hi, lads. Hi, Donny. Hi, my love. I like the French headboard you've got right behind you. Yeah. I'm renting, I'm renting a house at the moment to do all the promo in. Don't worry, babe. I've got all the four kids covered over here I got it. Oh fuck off. We've been doing that for the last two weeks, three weeks. I've been alone with the four kids for three weeks. No I get it I totally get it. I've just- I don't think you do. You've got a front board and you're getting up at 1230. I don't think you do. I'm thi. I'm thin't th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the the the the the the the. the the. the the. the. the. the. the. the th. breakfast shows on the radio. It's all right you can capture all of this domestic for your podcast. Yeah, I mean this is great for the podcast.

We should want to explain what's going on here. We should do you want to explain the situation Rob? Yeah, I'll say we have got a well it's our first married couple on the show together and it feels like we've intercepted your own sort of zoom catch-up. Yeah, we should say you're apart. Yeah, you're in separate locations. The I does, I does comedy trope for the last three weeks. Well, I've actually been doing stuff like work is that you're ooh training across being a pop star and like I'm looking after the four children and that's been the,

it's actually a bit of its comed that's been the it's actually a bit of it's comedic but a lot of it's not and the result is I just go I'm putting food on the table. First of all majority of it is comedic there's a grain of it like yeah I am looking after the kids but let's be honest every time I have called you you are playing in your golf simulator at the manor you have rented a manor with a golf simulator you you you you you you you you the you you the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th you th I th. th. I th. I'm th. I thi the. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th th th th th th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm the. I'm thi thi. I'm thi thi to to to to to to thi to to to to to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I'm thi. I'm in your golf simulator at the manor. You have rented a manner with a golf simulator. You're putting in six hours of golf work a day. So I apologize if I haven't taken too seriously the hard earnest work that you were doing right now, but there is no golf simulator where I am. I have, my simulator is screaming

children. That's my simulator is screaming children. That's my simulator. Has this been the most disjointed start to a podcast yet? No, but I think it's a fair representation. I think it's a fair representation of sort of what's going on because you're both in separate places. I just got all the kids. So can you run, how many children? their children? I don't even even't, I their. I their. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, the th. I'm, the th. th. I'm, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is a. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the most. the most, is, is, the most, is, is, is a the most, is a the most, is a the most, is a names. I don't even know. It's funny, in court, we have four kids, but in quarantine, I don't know if you've experienced

this, but I feel like the amount of kids that we have like quadruple, because I never, I never realized how many kids we had till we were at home with them all day long and schooling them. It was all of a sudden, like, is it the matrix when, when, what's his his his his his his his his, the name, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. their, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I, I'm, I, I, I, I.. It. It. It. It. It. It, I, I. It. It. It, I. It. It, I. It, I. It. It, I. It, I. It's, I. It's, I. It's, I. It's, I. It's, I. It's, I. It's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. the the the the the the th. th. th th th th th th th t th t th t t t t t t th to. to. th th th th th th th th th th th th what is that? Is it the matrix when, when what's his name, multiplies over and over, like the second one, got a guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They all became multiple beings because like each scream was four screams.

You know, like trying to get a five-year-old and a six-year-old to-sume at the baby, the other ones shitting somewhere. I mean it was rot. It was rot. By the other one she meant me. That was Rob but I do tell him for the most part to clean up his own mess. And how old are you kids? Uh, eight, six, two and nine, ten months. Wow, that is full on. And where are you at the moment, then Robby? You're in separate locations, either in Switzerland, where are you? I'm in Oxfordshire.

Oh, nice. I've come over to do a promo for my album, Christmas present. And if I didn't do that, none of these children would eat gone. Oh I'm glad that I'm glad that we're helping you out with the food Robb. Have we noted that Robin's doing this interview from bed and he's just woken up and it's like 1 p.m. I'd like to put some framework around yes I couldn't confirm that he's still lying in bed topless I assumed he was in LA and you'd got up really early for this but no it is midday it's to to. it's to. to. to. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I that I that I'm that I'm that I'm to that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm to that I'm to that's that I'm that's that's that that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I to. I th. I th. I th. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I assumed he was in LA and you'd got up really early for this, but no, it is midday, it's Oxfordshire. So how, does it stop, why I wouldn't be able to get away with this?

So how are you managing to do this, Robbie, and not getting trouble with either? I got up really early this morning. I did lots of radio shows, breakfast shows to launch my single. And then because that was so tiring, I've just had a power nap, and now I get up and I do this, and then I've got other things to do until nine o'clock this evening. So I'm sticking up your American ass. I will shove that mild accomplishment up my ass, but I would like to take it to the crowd. What time, Robbie Williams, would you say and be truly truly honest because we are

all a witness what time would you say that you normally get up in the morning? I'd say I've been really good just recently but since you've known me which is 15 years 12 o'clock in the afternoon. It died. There you go. Are you a student? Listen I suffer with a undiagnosed order called Robbism, Robbism, and listen, I'm getting there. I'm getting there slowly but surely, but I've had... One minute at a time. So when you're saying them really good recently, what's really good? Half past nine. Sorry, you know you're not you're not agree with that either. No.

No, I'm not at what point have you gotten it but half past nine? I've got I've got a fit golf thing babe. You make your golf appointments for noon. You don't get up to the golf course at night you do not get up at nine. Babe for the last two and a half. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Oh. I've th. Oh. I've the the the the the the the the the the th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. the the the the the th. the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the th. the the the the th. th. the the th. th. the th. You don't get up to the golf course at night. You do not get up at nine. Babe, for the last two and a half weeks, I've been getting up at nine o'clock to do some serious promo and then golf and the golf simulator. Yes. I think people will feel, I mean, I'll take it to the group, but it is, it does sound trying to be a pop star, doesn't it? It sounds difficult for me and Rob, obviously, because we've got fake jobs as well.

Yeah, what time do you guys get up with your fake jobs and your fake job? I got up at 6.30 this morning. Wow. Yeah, I get up about seven every day with the kids. You see them in the morning. Yes, I walk mine thine the mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine the thine thine thine the thine thine thine thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. their. th. thi. their. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I t. t. I tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tha. toge. tip. tog. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha mine to school. That's kind of you. Yeah. I pick mine up. I can't do the pickup, so I do the morning. That's what I do. I can't do the morning, so I do the pickup. There we go, Rob. We should have a child together.

We'd be a perfect couple. What time do your kids normally wake up at? They wake up at about 7. Oh, that's not too bad. Oh, that's good, that's good sleepers. They're good sleepers. They get that from the dad. I still can't. I've got a question about this power nap you've had, Robbie, where I would, if I have a power nap that's normally, you know, fully clothed on the sofa, you are basically naked at the moment. I've never stripped to nothing to have a power of that before. That's just kind of bad in it. I did all of the interviews this morning for the radio people. Some of them

were actual zoom in the studio. I did all of them like this because I'm an eccentric pop star. You did not do the radio interviews like that. Did you bed? Did you really do a topless in bed? Yeah. Wow, strong show. You married an eccentric pop star, you know about me. Do you think that if you just keep repeating eccentric pop star, that will just bypass and there's just an eccentric pop star? Okay, let me ask you this, Ada Williams. Am I an eccentric pop star? You are an eccentric pop star? Okay, thank you. But how long could that last that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th th th th th th the the the the the th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to too. too. too. too. too. too. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to star. Okay, thank you. But how long could that last? Will you be like an old people's home in your night and you just shit yourself and they're going, oh he's shit and so, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm not old, I'm just an eccentric pop star? Brib.

Bip, Brick. I found, I don't like you just, when I'm a really hands-on dad and when I'm at home it's completely 50-50, but then when you go away for a couple of weeks and then you come home you've sort of forgotten how to do it, it's sort of like, you know, you just, it can just go so quick and then you feel a bit, thrown just so, you're just, you know, it's just, you're just, you're, the t-I'm just, you, you, the, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, to, I, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, to, to, t.............. to, to, t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t aren't confident enough to establish yourself as a dad but then and then you sort sort of take that way up. It's very difficult to come back and forth like after food series. Well I've really noticed it now much more so in a way this time because when I have had to go to work I mean and even though we're like Anna and Lyra have come you know we've all come to to the the the to to the to the to to the to to the the to the the to the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tttough. the the tttry. ttry. ttry. the try. the when I've filmed before Christmas. So we would all be living together in the apartment there, but I would go off to work, you know, in the studio for the day and then come back and maybe,

you know, come back after Lyra's gone to bed so I wouldn't see her until the next morning, and I'd notice a difference. thrown, she wouldn't, thi. thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, like, like, like, tho, thrown, thrown, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. their their their their their their their their their their thr, their, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, their, thr. thr, thr, thr, thr. thr. And, thr. And, to to to thrown, to to to to to thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thooo. thr the morning or so it would be different Yeah, and that's just from being away for a bit of the day Let alone like away for two weeks like I used to do with you know with Lily I'd really notice that a lot actually when you you go you're like come on mate. I've just been to work give me a break Give me a break They're gonna shit That food you're eating is because of me going away and working. So let's have a little bit more. There's a lot of that going on.

I know like, well I've not eaten it anyway. She didn't eat it the after the after. And she just lets it dribble down her mouth. That's what Lyra is doing at the moment. She's got the, I think we're getting the point where we realize it we can't give her like the sort of mat pureed food anymore. You know, my hat in that stage. I found it so difficult with the getting on to food. Because she's yeah, she's eating, she's, you know, putting her in her mouth and then she's just looking at us in the eye and just letting it dribble down her face. She knows what she's doing. Now I don't know if you remember th. th. th. the th. the th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thin. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the th. She's, the the the the the the the the the the the th. She's, the the the the th. She's, th. She's, th. She's, th. She's, th. She's, th. She's, th. She's, th. She's, th. She's, thin. thin. to. toe. toea. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, but she's at that period where if you tear her off, she just thinks it's funny. Like she, and on the one hand, that's kind of a bit annoying because you, you know, you want to go, no, don't put your fingers in that socket,

don't pick that knife up, you know, you know, you being told off you know that because at the moment she just doesn't have that even if we if we get you know scared about something and and raise our voices or you know are a bit sharp with her she just thinks it's funny yeah that is horrible when they get out if you do go no other and they try because you actually make them jump yeah yeah yeah that is like the first time you see if you they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they the they the they they the they the they the they the they the they they they they they they they they they their they the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th th th th try try try try try try try th th th th thi the they they they they they they they they they they they're panicked and then they get scared and then it's a horrible feeling. Oh, it's like the first time you see if they cut themselves. I remember that with Lily as well. First, she bumped her lip on something,

Lily when she was very little. And I know lip was bleeding, I just remember that feeling of your child's blood. It's like, oh, it's a their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. It's thi. It's thia. It's thi. It's their thia' thia' their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tie. It's tiea., tieaugh., tiea., tiea., tiea., tiea., tiea., tiea., thea' thi. It's thi. It's, oh, it chilled me. And the same with Lyra when she bumped her head one time as well. It's horrible feeling that, isn't it? Seeing them like that. I think that one where you say like that situation where like they think they're being told off and it's funny. Have you got into this situation where they'll do something and you'll laugh

and then you've created reinforcing bad behavior. So I've got in this running joke now where so social say it's cuddle time and then she'll cuddle her mom and then I'll go I said oh is it my cuddle time and she said no and we both laughed and now I haven't had a cuddle in four days. She's just funny she's just she loves to go it's not your cuddle time. All right, mate, and jokes are joke in this situation. Come on. That's it for this special best off episode.

We'll be back next week. If you are not in the queue and you are waiting, then step to the side. He got in touch. You said, yeah, sorry sorry mate, you didn't seem like yourself the other day. You've only met me three times. The self-service checkouts, I don't care what you're called. I'm not getting tricked into working here. People at festivals, people at their tasks, are their tasks. But do you know what a snakes to look look the to look to their to to to to their to their to their their their their to their their to to th. social media characters lost Clinton, I don't care if you watch Boots Cut, jeans.

What's upset you now? Hello, I'm Paul McCaffrey. And I'm Sean Walt. And we are the hosts of the Hit Podcasts, What's Up Set You Now. Each episode is only 15 minutes long. That is perfect for your commute. Absolutely perfect. What a little 15 minute bus drive to work, stick an episode of What's Up and set you now on. What's it all about, Sean?

Well, me and Paul and a big-name comedy guest, such as Tom Allen or Rob Beckett or Josh Winnockham, will rant about what has got our goat that week for only 15 minutes. All those little things, like for example, do you know Gatwick Airport are now charging you five pounds to get dropped off at their door. And now the sun's back out and people are off doing yoga in the park again. New episodes every Tuesday and Thursday. What's upset you now with me Paul McCaffrey and me Sean Walsh. Hello, I'm Tom Crane. And I'm Simran Shah. And we're the hosts of the new food and comedy podcast, my favorite takeaway, where each week were invited into the home of a celebrity guest to share their favorite takeaway, exactly as they normally have it.

We'll be trying it all from Peruvian street food slouched on James Acaster's L-shaped sofa, to an Antiguan's dinner ta-fa'fie, to hear from you the listener. Your takeaway disasters. Your weird habits. And your personal takeaway recommendations. You can follow us on Insta, my favorite takeaway podcast. On Twitter at Fave Takeaway Pod. Or you can email us. Hello at my favorite takeaway podcast.

tocom. And don't forget the subscribe, the podcast for anyone who loves food but can't always be bothered to cooking. Available on all podcast platforms now. Hello Tom Allen here. And Susie Ruffel. We have a podcast called Like Minded Friends. It's very much a celebration of, I don't know, what would you say, Sue's, being queer? Being queer, but also chit-chat. There's lots of straight people that love it, so I think that you should come along and listen to it. There's something for everybody. It's been described as white noise for gays, but also we had a lovely section about

Glade plugins. So why don't you listen to it. Search, like mind of friends, wherever you get your podcasts. That sounded quite professional, didn't it?