Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S01 EP16: Correspondence Special 

Episode Date: June 19, 2020

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' - S01 EP16: Correspondence Special We get so much amazing correspondence from listeners, and not enough time to get through it all, so we've decided to release the first of a regular series of 'correspondence specials' where we hear more of your (and our) tales and adventures in parenting.*WARNING* Features even more 'salty Josh' If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparentEnjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx   A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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and member terms apply hello I'm Josh Whitakam welcome to lock down welcome to lockdown the show in which Rob and I to be a parent during lockdown which I would say can be a little tricky. So in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation. And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. Hello and welcome to lockdown to lockdown to lockdown.

With Josh Woodardown. And Rob Beckett. Quite a good one I thought. Excellent. I actually think the daughter actually did it better than the mom. At points there. Well it says Layla's 60 and her mom is 94. There is a shift. There is a shift where you will be in charge of your parents at some stage. Amazed. Layla Bradford and she is three and she has learned to enjoy what an achievement. The odd beef sandwich instead of a daily cheese sandwich during lockdown. And she now likes her one-year-old brother.

Oh, what great progress, worrying that the beef sandwich was ahead of the sibling. Yeah, as if that's the thing that's really been ruining their lives, is her inability to eat a beef sandwich. Kids will refuse to eat stuff just to be annoying. And like my kids do it all the time, they fundamentally refuse to eat certain things, and then when there's someone else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else else's houses or like my mom's there, they'll show off by loving it. Oh, I tell you this, Rob, every, when we pick her up from nursery, and you're like, oh, what did she eat today? And they'll be like, oh, she ate a kind ofer doing a guardian restaurant review and she's a... What kind of fucking preschool does goat's cheese salad? They are based in East London Rob. Okay yeah metropolitan media elite. They are very much the problem of gentrification.

What the fuck? Let me get the menu up. Let me get the menu up. Hang on. Don't you do have a pat lunch or they always cook for them? They cook for them. Your kids eating better food than me. I always thought you took your own lunch until you went to a proper school. Now this is the best thing about it. So they have breakfast, lunch to open an email called summer menu. Summer menu, here there go, talk to me.

So obviously it's different each day, Rob. So just choose, and obviously it varies week on week. There's two separate menus to keep them alive and kind of enjoy it. Because you know what kids like, they'd hate eating the same thing, didn't they? They don't want to go, oh not another Wednesday lunch, Tajine. So give me a day and give me a meal and I'll tell you what they're having. Wednesday breakfast? Banana porridge with home meal toast. Fine, perfect. Fine.

Okay, Friday lunch. Coconut fish curry and brown rice with steamed carrots. No way. Carrots or parrots what's she eating in Nothing. Have you ever seen these carrots they feed them? A fish, a coconut fish curry? Will she eat? Yeah? the? their? their? they? they? they? they? they? th? th? th? th? they? they? th? th? th? th? th? th? the th? the they? the they? W! W! W! W. they their? W. their? W. W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W? W? W? W? W? W? W? W? W? W? W? W? W? W? W? W? W? W? W. W? W. W? W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. tha? W. tha? W. the? the? the the the the the the the the the their their their? their? their? their? their? their? Wea? Wea? W ever seen these carrots they feed them? A fish, a coconut fish curry? Will she eat it? Yeah. Talks for the day, so fish curry for lunch, what's breakfast?

I'll take you to breakfast. It can't be worse than fish curry and... So breakfast? It was mashed avocado with roasted tomatoes on toasted bagel. There's no need to roast those thfish fish thomomomomomatatatatatatatatatatos. A thfish th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A thi cush thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A ta. A ta. A ta. A toooooa. ta. ta. ta. ta. toda. ta. ta. ta. A ta. A tomatoes on toasted bagel. There's no need to roast those tomatoes. Who's roasting tomato to breakfast? Honestly, mate, when I turn up, the smell there, I'm like, this is just unbelievable. Can I go there for one day a week? I'd love it. And dinner? What's dinner? What's dinner on the Friday? Binge, homemade hummus and sweet potato wedges.

Oh my life. Followed by stewed strawberries with mint and natural yogurt. This is, I've never heard anything like this, Josh. This is unbelievable. It's like eaten. But it's honestly, it's the same price as everywhere else. But I do have to. Where they cut him back on? Well they got white their own ass at eight months. I'm jealous, I'm not having a go, I'm just jealous. Do you know Wednesday dinner? Yeah.

This sounds lovely. Halumi, mozzarella and corjette fratata with lemony natural yogurt and poppy seeds. Oh, wow. I mean that's, the thing is though, this is what I've been thinking, kids will eat better and more adventurous stuff if they're with other kids when it's offered to them. Yeah, totally the the tho tho thot thot tho that's that's that's that's thot that's thoom that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that, I that, I's that, I'll th. that, I'll that, I'm th. th. th. th. I'm th. th. th. Kids, I'm thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thoom. Oh, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I's, I's, I's th. Oh, I's. Oh, I's th. Oh, I's tooom. Oh, I's tooom. Oh, I'ma. Oh, I'ma. Oh, I'ma. Oh, I'ma. Oh, I'ma'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'er. Oh, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, toootally. It's a great thing to do because when they're like there, we went around a friends the other day for a social distance gathering, I love to, you have to say that now,

even though sometimes it's not. Sometimes you try, if then a nun this like chicken, throasted chicken with all like time and pepper and salt and all this stuff and they would never have it out of it but. They wouldn't go near it. So so at home the simple equation is the more time we put into the dinner the more likely it is to be refused. Is that simple? It's cutting. Anyway that isn't the reason we got into this. So here th so th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th is th is th is th. that is that is that is that is that is that is thus thus thus thus that is not that. thus. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the the. the. the the the. the the. the te. te. te. te. te. thea. thea. today. to to to to to the. to 't the reason we got into this. So, here's a question Rob. Yes. You said before on Tuesday about are you showing your children a film that was the right age bracket?

Yeah, it was awful. I mean, they love Muppet babies. Have you ever seen Muppet babies? Basically, what you realize is it's like, kids TV is like the marijuana entry drug? Yeah. Well, like, they'll be on C. BBs but then all of a sudden they'll turn it over and realize that there's like Nickelodeon and Disney and all that and all the horrendous stuff all about the Barbie summer adventures and things like that. Anyway but I they love Muppet babies and then I thought they want to see a different film that I'm bored of caution, scenes of tobacco smoking.

Oh yeah. And I was like, you know, and I would argue that. They haven't started smoking up, they robbed. That would be an awful time of future. Yeah, so the fact they're already on roll-ups, you know, that's what they're like. But it's awful, I didn't really take much notice of the 6 plus because the warning was to tobacco. So I just assumed it's got to be 6 plus and a warning because some of the characters like maybe smoking in it. So we're like, anyway, I turned it on.

I don't remember I sent you the WhatsApp, the WhatsApp messages. There's a scene where Kermit, struck to an electric chair and it's about to be murdered essentially what's the plot are you trying to suggest that he deserves this I'm not seen has there been a fair trial I don't know what's going on right anyway just did and they're both doing it looks so evil and they go no no but then they were like turn it off turn it off and I was like well I can't turn it off because obviously he's not going to get killed so then I had to fast forward it and then Miss Piggy come in and saved the day but oh my god they were oh my god so how did they react to they did they recover quickly? Yeah sort of until they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they to they they they they they they they they they they recover quickly? Um, yeah, sort of, until they went to bed and both woke up with nightmares, screaming Kermit.

Oh God, oh, May. Anyway, so it was a horrendous moment. I felt so guilty. My wife had to come in and save the day, but, you know, as ever, I'm committed to the podcast and reported it from the front line and I sent your WhatsApp. So here, you can listen to my breakdown as I explained what happened. Girls, do you like the film? No. Is Kermit okay? No. Okay. Should we turn it off? No. Okay. I don't like it. We've turned it off. one point there was loads of men with guns just shooting at pictures of Kermit.

That's not six plus. I mean, you know, hold me hands up. I've got a four-year-old and a two-year-old. But oh my, yeah, basically I think there's the ratings you've got to take into account when it was filmed and when it was made. Yeah, that that that that that that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that's that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, thi. thi's, thi's, thi's, thi. thi's, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi. thi. thi. that's that's thi's thi's not, that's not, that's not, that's not, that's not, thooomoomorrow, that's not, that's not, that's thi. But do you know the thing about it is wrong? Six plus doesn't sound bad, so I don't, do you know what I mean? It's not like you've put on like critters or something. Do you know what I mean?

It's just because it's a tobacco I had to thought that was all it was. There should be a thing there for like execution. It should be an 18 if that's the kind of seamless throwing in. It's awful mate even I was watching it going calm down kids and that part of his gun you know I'm okay I'm okay I'm the commets all right he looks in a right state. I've had a bad incident this week so you know how you've had problems with who and we on the floor yes we've had that problem but it's an indirect result of the child now. Okay. So she's been... The cat get involved? Yes.

So she's been luring in the neighborhood cats, right? By taking the food out into the garden and feeding them. So I reckon there's five to seven cats that aren't related to the two cats in our house that now basically live in our garden. We're running a nine cat operation the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the the the the food the food the food the food the food the food the food the food the food the food the food the food cats in our house that now basically live in our garden. We're running a nine cat operation in the garden. Okay, so she's taking the food outside, right? Yeah, yeah, she takes it out like one bit by one and that's the game and you're like, oh, that's quite sweet, but actually the reality is now that the garden is covered with territorial cat piss. And then, because it's summer we turned around earlier on and there was

a cat pissing on our sitting room floor that wasn't our cat wasn't our cat why would it come into piss well I think it's like is it getting more territory I don't know what's going on what do you do how do you get rid of cats well they don't stop feeding them would help yeah I start feeding them with but I wonder whether that kind of horse has bolted that that that that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the th th the th the th th th th th th th th th th th out th out tho tho- tho- the the the tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho the tho the the the that that that to-cou- tot teat toy te teat that that that that that that time, stop feeding them would help. Yeah, I stop feeding them with it. But I wonder whether that kind of horse has bolted, that cat has bolted in that sense. Like, there's nothing we can do about it.

But now we've got a cat coming into our house summer. Yeah. Just boiling. So, I mean, they're getting more confident around people and the doors always open, you know what I mean? They're super confident, mate. They couldn't give us shit. A pigeon got caught in my back room the other day and it flew into, because you've got big, like, byfold windows, it flew into the window and you could see the outline

of his head and wings. Like a kind of cartoon mark. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they. They. They, they, they. They, they, they, the, they, the, they, they, they, they's, they, they's, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're they're they're they're they're, exactly. So yeah, it's awful, but they keep going in. It's basically like getting bits of crumbs off the floor and biscuits and stuff like that, the kids are bad. And it's just, he keeps doing it and because my office is at the end of the garden so I can't, my office so I can't see it happening. And what happens is I've run block to get to the front of my house in order to show it out. Well this is the problem. No one warned me when I had a child that it would also lead to like an attachment

of animals coming in because of the mess and the food and the ants now. their ants now. they'll have a little smoothie to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to to be can't tolaphymeawn. I can't. I can't. I'll to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have tolapot. I will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will just. I. I. the the the the the to find. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tool.awn. the the the the the the tomoomorrow.awn.awn.awn.kkart. they.a. theyn't. theyn't.a. their one. their's in the house. What does Possible sound like for your business? It's having to spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with business platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and conditions apply. Visit MX. toexx dotty, business platinum.

Right. Shall we have some correspondence, Rob? Yes, please, Josh. It's the lockdown parody mail bag. But it's actually emails and there's no bag. Okay, well this is a new feature based on Shappy Corsandy's disaster, which she referred to as a milk tray moment. So if you've had a moment where you've completely lost it, tell us about it, in our milk tray moments. And all because the lady loves milk tray. I got nothing. Should we get some sort of payment for this sponsorship? Well, I don't think anyone's made milk tray for the last 20 years,

so I don't think anyone can actually access any because it's a it's a snack from the 80s it's basically like raisin splits or something they're still going I've had loads of people having to go up me on Instagram for slacking off milk tray so someone's like oh it's my birthday last year actually it's really nice oh oh come on oh come on oh you are you are eating a flake in the thak I I I I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the -pest stalker to deliver a milk tray about me knowing. You're weirdo. So, Holly Law, one of my children ate the last cornetto from the freezer. The other one was crying, and for a while, I've been wanting to try this new ice cream delivery service. So I thought, no problem, I will order us all a special ice cream as a treat that will solve the upset. The ice creams came and I had forgotten to order myself one. Later that day,

my mum dropped around a magnum ice cream through the window for me because she felt sorry for me after what had happened. I unrapped it, put it in my mouth, and my youngest started crying again because apparently it's not fair that his brother had two ice creams in total and he only had one. So in what Shappy described as a thunderstorm outburst, I shouted, I get nothing! And flung the magnum at the front door where it smashed and fell into a melty puddle. I get nothing. I get nothing. My son then offered to buy me an ice cream with his pocket money.

How old is his kid? Six. This made me feel bad and I cried as well. I love that. Who's done that before? She's not angry and then just cries as Oh my word. Oh that's so bleak. There's a lot of explaining and apologizing to everyone in my house from a childish tantrum and we haven't had an ice cream since. Oh no. That is astonishing. That's going to be the Magnum gate for them, isn't it? That's it for them. That's for the magnum's ruined for them. Because you you you th. That's, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. That's, th. That's, th. That's, th. That's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's a that's a that's a that's a that's it for them, that's forever. That magnums ruined for them now. Because he'll go, oh I love the magnums. Remember that time that you cried and threw one against the window and said,

again, nothing? Okay, nothing. What pathetic, a pathetic little delivery? One little madden throwing in a pandemic. Fucking, now it's hard, isn't it? We're looking forward to that and you can't even have it. Poor London. Do you know what? I mean, we've talked before Rob about whether we'll do merch for this show, but I think when we do, I think I get nothing feels like one of the slogans. Yeah. Michael, on the milk tray jingle.

So this is me asking you on the show. So obviously, if you're listening, you've already heard the jingle so this is kind of postmodern thing but can it combine the milk tray advert from the 80s with the words I got nothing shouted yeah which one of you wants to shout it I got nothing that's gonna make no sense to them hearing it the first time oh so it's what we'll do gosh this is like podcast jazz I don't know what's happening but I love it I felt I should start tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap the tap the tap the the tap the the tap the the tap the the the the the the taping the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th try try try try try try try trys try try try try try try try try try try try toys toys toys toys toys toys t first time. Oh, so what we'll do? Gosh, this is like podcast jazz. I don't know what's happening, but I love it. I felt like I'd start tapping.

It's like a beat poem. I don't know what's happening anymore. I've got nothing. Nothing! That lockdown parenting podcast has reinvented the form actually. I just thought it was just some big to complain about. And it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't th isn't th isn't th isn't th isn't th th th th th th th thinks th thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks did take you a thousand to do, Joe Robin, you splag. Right. Rob, you hate Bing, don't you?

I can't stand the Giza. Now I've not seen Bing, but we got this email and then I watched the title sequence to Bing. This now is absolutely mad if you haven't noticed this. Hi, Rob and Josh. I love your podcast. It provides me much-leaded comic relief for my dog walk after the kids have gone to bed. I particularly enjoyed the Daisy May Cooper episode and her stories of parenting how.

Something I feel I had to comment on was her hatred of Bing. What puzzles me most is not where Bing's parents are or why Bing has to cry in every episode. But it is. In the opening credit in credit, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, if thi, if thi, if you thi, if you thi, thi, if thi, if thi, if th, if th, if th, if th, if th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. But it is, in the opening credit, Pando takes off his shorts for no reason. My husband pointed this out to me and now I can't unsee it, nor figure out the reason why he's the only one to strip down to his pants. I'm going to send you Rob the opening titles to a Bing episode. All right, okay, and I could comment on it live. I want you to comment on it live. Well, you can just type it into YouTube. I've got it here, look. This will blow your mind.

Come on, Flop. Come in, Bing. It's walking out the house, down the steps, meets with all his mates. There they're like weird teddies as well, aren't they? So a little high-fire for the elephant girl. Um, because he's a girl that's an elephant, it's not like an elephant man. Spin off.

Oh, yeah, and shots, for that reason. Absolutely, no reason. Yeah, so they're all fully dressed and a panda. For their trials, and he their their their their th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, it, th. It, it, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. It's th. It's thi, thi, thi. It's thi. It's thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, tha, tha, trousers off and he's running around in pants. And they're weird little peasant servant people that are always with them, just picks up his shorts and puts some of his pockets. It's such a weird and it's CGI. So it's not like an actor's gone rogue and they haven't noticed.

They've CGI decided in the title sequence in the background should someone just thought this right, no disrespect to people that do cartoon animations, yeah, but you're in goals Pixar, let's be honest. That's where you want, that's where you want to be, that's like arenas for comics, yeah? But some people will end up doing daytime British TV cartoon animations. So those guys are probably not a skilled, not as experienced or they're outlaws and I think what we're dealing with here is a maverick of the form. You know in Fight Club where he flashes up a dick at the end of it, you know, like he just puts that into the, I think that's what that guy's done.

He went, let's see if the pals that panda's cock. That's where he's going. When he gets sacked or she gets sapped the animator, that panda's dick will be out in one episode and have to be pulled from the air and apology delivered. Now you've seen it as well, you can't watch Bing without seeing that the panda's just taking off his shorts for no reason. That goes in my questionable TV. That's a questionable section of kids TV we need sorting out. If you've got any more of that you know how to get in touch. Now Rob you've got some correspondence. Yes, because you've got a couple of emails this one here from a lady called Emma Law. I've opened it up just to work this out because I've only ever known you as a good guy. So it's th. Rob th. Rob th. th. Rob th. th. Rob th. th. Rob th. th. th. Rob th. th. th. Rob. to to th. Rob. to to to th. Rob. Rob. Rob. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. I to to to to to to th. was quite shocking to me so we've had a couple of emails this one here from a lady called Emma Law and she said my husband met Josh

last year he works in London my husband so I'm used to him being home late because of the unreliable trains yet we've all used that one before Emma don't worry about that I had unreliable trains again southern rail even though he was on southeastern anyway anyway This particular day it was parents evening at the school and I'm sat waiting for him to get home when I get a photo for him and Josh at the train station saying I'm not going to make it the trains have had problems so they've had to change. So is she accusing me of going for a pint with her husband? Well no she's quite excited about this she's not accusing you of anything. Actually it's in your. I've never been so excited and so pissed off in one moment. I was very jealous as I've been

a fan of Josh for many years. And I'm pleased to say Josh wasn't salty at all. But she had to go to parents even alone a little bitter saying it looking very happy to our photo with Emma's husband there and what is obviously a pre-Covid snap arm around the shoulder with this guy. Oh, that sounds like me. He's got arm around the shoulder. So not salty at all. And we've got a couple of other ones though. This one again, another non-salty Josh here. So you do well. Me and my brother met Josh at the Fringe Festival last year. Overall, he was a really nice fella, although he was struggling to find the venue

that he was performing at in an hour and a half, which was a bit concerning. My brother did help him, the mothing out of a massive two that was right behind him. That was right behind him. It was worth it though as they got a picture and the show was really funny. I can tell you Rob. I can tell you that that would have been one of, I would have been in a terrible state at that point. Can I say something here, Josh? I think you're an excellent comedian, right? great performer you are a panicker before end. I've seen it. Especially when you first started you used to pace, clap your hands together in a weird sort of like motion and then used

to get each hand on itself and you used to get water cover your face in water and get dabs with water and put it behind your ears and your temples. Still do it. Still do it. So you must have been so flustered at this stage. Do you know what the worst thing about this was?? you. you. th. th. th. the the the th. the the th. the the the. the the. the. the. the. the. you the the the you you the you the you the you you the you you you you the the pace the the you you you you you the pace you used the pace you used the pace you used the pace you used the pace you the pace you the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. You used th. the. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. the. the. temples. Still do it. Still do it. So you must have been so flustered at this stage. Do you know what the worst thing about this was? So this was, and this is a parenting, this is a parenting story in the sense of I went to Edinburgh for two nights and obviously have friends up there and it was really it was the first time in months that I'd had a way from being a parent. So I went out both nights but both previews had been books for like midday. So I know so you hung over. So I'm sure you would say that I'm not the best drug at the best of time so I've completely lost the ability now. Yeah so I'll take you through these two nights so the first time I got

back to the hotel room at about 3 a.m. right? And I went into my room and I'd been in the room already but um the duvet the d'oeuvres wasn't on the bed. There was no duvet. There was just a pillow, the pillows and no duvet. And so I phoned down. I was like, there's no duvet. And he was like, what are you talking about? I was like, can I get a duvet please? So five minutes later, this is how drunk one, it's five minutes later, the guy turns up with a duvet, knocks on the door, walks in, looks at the bed and goes, you are aware they've just tucked in the duvetu.... So tuce. So tuce. So, tuce. So, tuce. So, tied. So, tied. So, I. tied. tied. tied. the tied. the tied. the the the the the the the the the the their, took. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, th. So, t. So, the. So, the. So, the. So, the. So, the. the. the. the. tttttttoo. too. too. too. too. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. What did he say? I heard it was just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I had two duvets. I was a duvay, I kept the second duvah. I always had two duvets, it's my thing.

You are, when you're drunk though and you're gone, you are, well, it's a tellain. I've seen you be sick in your own hands, at least twice. Yeah I do apologize for that. I, well, it gets words. Two incidents, wasn't it? Why don't, in Birmingham Glee, we should say this for another episode, but Bermanem Glee, and then that Christmas party, yeah. Where I saved your skin. You saved my skin. I've died forever, right you? We'll save that so of another time. But I, a career saving. We wouldn't be here, we wouldn't th. We wouldn't th. We wouldn't nearly sick on Andrew Lloyd Webber's head and let me say you know anyone that seen School of Rock knows he deserves it so let me tell you the second night in Edinburgh I get to the hotel so it's 3 a.m. again no do again. No I get to the room go up and the card's not working so I go down to reception, different guy thankfully and I go up with the hand over the card and I'm like my card's not working could you just

like I want to go to sleep and he looks at the card and says you're in the wrong hotel. I've been drunkenly managed to go back to the wrong hotel in Edinburgh. I've been trying the door. Oh Josh. That was first night, that is classic. I noticed it at gigs where you have people, where it's their first night out after having a kid and they just go buck wild. Like it's the last days of Rome and they just can't, they get too overexcited.

They're not drunk enough for months and they drink loads. I've got one more, well, I've got next to Josh on the train for four hours to Devon. You must be going home to visit family or gigging I imagine. The train was very busy. He was sitting in the window seat. I felt bad sitting next him because he was very grumpy looking. Maybe he had just woken up from a nap. Anyway, he was V. Moody and shoved his bag off the seat and I sat down. I spent three and a quarter hours wondering wondering wondering wondering wondering wondering wondering wondering wondering wondering wondering wondering wondering wondering to to to the to the to the to the to their to their to the seat and I sat down. I spent three and a quarter hours wondering if it was a bad time to tell him he is a wicked comedian and he had Lou wrote on his shoe. So Josh, I never told you as you looked so salty. Oh my word. So you're salty. This is actually putting off people to talk to you. That's unbelievable. I absolutely stand by that. Didn't speak to me once on the train. I consider that a victory. the to. their their their their. I their. I their. I was so so salty. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. te. te. te. to. their. their. their. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. the. the. the the the the the the the 't speak to me once on the train. I consider that a victory. I didn't want to talk to them.

No, exactly. You're sulty, aren't you? You're a sorty guy. I've got an edge. You've got an edge. You've hung over. Wow. It sounds like it, doesn't it? I think the common. Totally, genuinely, if I don't drink I'm a much happier person, but I don't think we should go into this on this podcast. I was a Sunday brunch and they were doing the cocktails. Do you drink, Rob, you've been drinking over a lockdown? He went, yeah, he went, what? I went, lager. But just made you lague, why? I went boredom and depression. Killed the energy in the room. It was so so so so so it was it was it was it was so so funny. It was so. It was. It was so. It was. It was. It was. It was so. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was the room. It's so funny. Thank you for all. Keep your salty messages coming in or non-salty. I'm currently two one up, which is delightful. Don't make them up

like they got on the train. I'd never get a toilet paper stuck on my shoe. How dare you? That is a classic widdicker, I can see you shuffling down that train with that on your foot. Oh, who sits next next next next next next next next next next nextrain for four hours? Absolutely despicable. I mean, the fact I'd put the bag on the seat is a mistake from me, I realize that is passive aggressive move. Back off. Yeah, read the room mate. If you want to get in touch with us a milk train moment, salty moment, anything else, this is how. Email us hello at lockdownparentin.co.uk or we're on Twitter at lockdown parents. Thank you for listening to our first Friday catch up with correspondence because so much we didn't get through but we love receiving it. So much brilliant stuff let's end Rob with a guilty parenting tip from Lucy Haywood.

We told our kids that when the ice cream van is playing music it means they have run out of ice cream. There we go. It's a classic that is. I also like to double with, that's a car of a weird home. They don't know yet. If you've got any guilty parenting tips, keep them coming in. Review us? Yeah, why not? We need to beat the Ramsey's. They've got like 23,000 reviews. Just see how many

times you can review until you get banned. Exactly. Set up some new accounts. I stand by that message., which is Lorraine Kelly. Brilliant. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful woman. Thank you for listening. See you later guys. Bye. Bye.