Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S01 EP21: Russell Kane

Episode Date: July 7, 2020

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' - S01 EP21: Russell KaneJoining us in the studio this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) during the lock down and beyond is the brilliant comedian, Russell Kane. Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, I'm Josh Riddickham. And I'm Robb. Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell. The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. So in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation. And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. Hello and welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hale with

Shush Reddyton and Rob Beckett. Rob Bucket. Very good. Very good from Eiler Klein's. I'm very impressed for that. Very, very efficient job done, no messing. That's how we like it. Um, throughout lockdown, Eiler, our two-year-old has developed a deep and unwavering affection for garden gnomes. Started off with one, as I thought it was quite funny, and she liked it. We now have four. They're all called Mr. Nomey, even the female one. She needs to say good night to them all, and as they're not designed for two-year-olds, to-s, their, their, their, their, their, their, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to to, to, to, to to, to to to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, and th.. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho. thoa, thoa, thoan, thoa, thoa, tooan, tooan, tooan, to to to to to to at Nome Hospital. Oh no, no, you've set yourself up for a fail there.

Nome Hospital. Don't, you know like feeders. You know these people that get to Forty Stone? Yeah. They're just like feeders. You're feeding the gnome addiction with Nome Hospital. You're creating more problems. Wait for it, mate. thiii. to thi. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, their, thi, thi, their, their, their, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their. their. their, their. their. their. thi. thi. tho. too. too. too. too. to. tooom. toe. toe. toe. too, toe. toe. too, their, their, their of the Excel as she. She loves to pretend to breastfeed them and have no idea.

It's completely fucking weird to have two tiny men attached to her nipples. Wow, I mean, what are, are these two all right? It's a hell of an image, isn't it? Oh, Nome Hospital as well. What are you in for? Broken out again? No, I just, I I I just, I just, I just, I just,? No, I just sat down with no clothes on the fishing rod went up my ass. There's nothing more sinister than that.

Yeah, yeah, it's all it was. Yeah, that's like it. The thing is that knoes, kids love loams, but they are, I'd say, the most breakable things for a child to have, it's ridiculous. I've had a number of tha tha tha tha tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thoome, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, thoome, thoome, I's thoome, I've thoomom, I've thoom. tho, I've tho, I've tho, I've tho, I's tho, I's tho, I's tho, I tho, I' tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho. It's ridiculous. Yeah. I've had a number of things that have just broken that I think I should fix and I just never do because the kids forget eventually. Oh, so what have you got to fix? Oh, like they keep pulling the heads off these little like Disney Princess figure things. And like, because they just break over through, just don't bother, I just can't bother, I just, I get glue out.

I'm not very good at fixing stuff. Like, you're not very handy, I've got more handy, they're not, don't call the press. More handy. I've been whistling at women, actually. Sorry, what was their ass in the shops, why not? Sorry, what was the question? I tell what I was in it completely. You've become more handy in lockdown?

No, no, no, since becoming a parent, I've really lent into my role. So I've like, the other day, the kitchen door, I mean, this is such a pathetic achievement. But throw out in my head, I'm just like, look at you, just doing this like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,, I'm just like, look at you, just doing this like a normal bloke. But one of the cupboard doors came loose, the hinge. I just got a screwdriver, screwed it back and tightened it up. Just as, as like, like it was the most normal thing. You know, like how he was just like, yeah, I could do that. You want, you sort of want like a guard, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the guard of honour, clap after, don't you? That's, because I'm used, I can't do anything.

I have to get a bloke around to hang pictures. I can't, I didn't even know what a raw plug was till about a week ago, but you have to drill an old, put a little plastic thing in. My dad's awful at DIY. My dad's awful at DIY. And you know, he'll th uh, that to to to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to to to to to to to to to get a that's a that's a to get a that's that's their to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a that's that's that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that. that's a that. that's a that. that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that. that's. that. that's. that. that's. that's. that's. that's a that's. that's a that. But can I, can I give you a story about him doing DIY? He's a, it was a black cab driver, he's retired now, but he used to go work about like one, two in the afternoons, he'd normally get up a bit late because then he worked late, right? So anyway, I left for school, right?

So, he was up early. blind to tie it round, right? It says eight in the morning as I left for school, right? I came over half three, so he should be at work by now, and as I walked into the house, I heard him say, oh fuck you, you little, and then the bad word, and he was still trying to put this hook in. And since then, he's always been so angry and aggressive when he's ever done anything, I've sort of, you know, I had a whole routine about when he tripped and spilt varnish in the house. And he screamed at the floor, oh you bollocky cump. And I was like eight or nine here listening to this. And then he said, this is basically an old joke now, but it's still quite funny. I was laughing at him, obviously you would where someone was that angry screaming at a carpet that he went keep laughing I'll fucking varnish you in a minute. As if he was just going to paint me. Yeah no I'm not I'm not great at it but I do like every time I've got plans this

weekend well because we're recording this on Friday I'll have already done this so you know I might I might have died by this point when I really. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the th. th. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. th. I'm. th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I'm. I'm the. I'm th. I'm th. I'm t. I'm t. I'm the the th. you know I might have died by this point when I really what's the plan? We're emptying the shed and so I've got some I've got some shelves coming from IKEA that we're putting it so tiding up the shed. Have you got an electric drill? No, I haven't got an electric drill that would scare me. So yeah I've been like that for years I've bought one from Bosch it was about th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's. What???. What?. What?. What?. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the they. I's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I's. I yeah, I've been like that for years. I've bought one from Bosch. It was about 20 quid, yeah. And I've always thought, that's not my game. I'm not a drill man. Give me a microphone a load of people. I'll do that job, but I'm not a drill guy.

I haven't got -taped because you know you're turning it, just turning it with a screwdriver. It's basically a screwdriver but well fast. Yeah, yeah, but I suppose with an IKEA set of drawers, you're not worried about hitting a wire. That would just be my worry. Yes, obviously I'm going to hit a wire. Yeah, that yeah, I would never go in to a wall, bareback with a drill. No. going bareback is what got you into this problem in the first place, isn't it? Yeah, exactly. Should have had a raw plug on. Do you know what, I've realized, I've got to the point where I've realized, it's better if I just spend the time I would of putting up the pictures, doing some

work that will pay for someone else to put up the pictures the pictures the pictures the pictures the pictures the pictures the pictures. up the pictures, the pictures, the pictures, the pictures, the pictures, the pictures, their, their doing some work that will pay for someone else to put up the pictures. That's a great idea Josh, but I don't know if you're aware of the current crisis the arts and the theatre industry is in. So I think we're going to have to start learning quick. Shit. Shit. Because you can't use that argument. So it's better off to hire someone and it's their profession and they can do a job. But I'll go out and do my job. But we haven't got a job to go and do so. Have we? I was going to say something else and I can't. We're not talking about kids are we? We're not talking about kids. How of your kids then? But I tell you about, we could say this one for Friday. Okay. What I was going to talk a to. I try. I to say. I to say. I to say. I to say. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I'll to say say say say say. I said. I'll to say. I'll to say. I'll to say say say. I'll to say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said I said I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I'm. I'm. I'm. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I this week we've had three major events. One, on Saturday, she is going,

we've recorded this on Friday due to a family retirement party that she's happening. Anyway, this week we've had school uniform being bought and tried on. I meet the parents' induction type thing. Because basically they can't do the inductions at the parents induction type thing because basically they can't do the inductions at the school normally they'd invite you know you invite them in and also like they was doing this thing where all the kids dial into a zoom call and the kids get read a book and it's I mean like trying to manage you know 20 people adults on a zoom call imagine children with their adults all on mute

like also parent dick swinging at ninja I mean because it all happens in they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they all they all they all they all they all all all all all all they all all th all th all all th all all the thy tho thy tho thy that thi all all all all all all all they they they they all all they they they adults all on mute, not on muo, like also parent dick swinging at ninja, I mean, because it all happens in school games. We had a zoom call, right at the start of lockdown our nursery decided to do a zoom call for her class, for Chestnut, and it was basically, so chestnut are what, two to three year olds on a zoom call. None of them paying any attention. So it's just all the parents really sat there. Awkwardly worried about how they look, what their backgrounds like. You know, you're desperately searching the backgrounds of the parents you know that you've got issues with. Also weirdly my daughter for some reason

has picked up a Jay Mansfield Park book. Who wrote that? Is it Jane Austen? Yeah. Anyway, she she she she she she she the book the book the book the book the book the book the book the book the book the book the book the book the book the book the book the book the book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book. their book. their their books. their book. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. My. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the. their. these books and they're like proper books, Mansfield Parks are proper, like you read that, you're like, 15 book right? She's just been taking it around with her, like some sort of like, like, like, Mike drop, like she's at reading Park at four. And then she said, I want to hold this book for reading club. And I was like, I can't like that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, you're like, you're like, you're like, you'd like, you'd like, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, like, like, like, like, like, that, that, that that that that th. th. th. the. theat, theat, the. thried thean, thrie. that that that that that that that that that that that that that We're about to get a mouthful of a gruffalo and you've got Mansil part there. Anyway, it just made me laugh. I know you. All the parents going bloody hell that Rob Beckett's daughter's not a chip off the old blog, which is it? She's knocking out Jade Austin once a week. You know what we're doing a gruffelow. Anyway sorry go Josh you were doing this zoom call. I know so we were doing this zoom Zoom call and then one of the parents was like shall we sing a song? No! And none of the kids are going to sing a song. Suddenly it's 2.30 on a Tuesday afternoon and I'm singing fucking whatever the song.

What's it ever is? Brad Mary? No, no. Myles keep on it. Prad! Imagine that. Like an absolute belt. This isthis. Pran, imagine that. Like an absolute belter. This is me.

Come on, kids. Wothering Heights by Kate Bush is ambitious. No, so it's two in the afternoon, two thirty in the afternoon, and there's just 20 sets of parents, no kids, just singing, wind the bobbin up together. That's what the song was. And you're you just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just like, this isn't living? That was like week one of lockdown. I can't do this for three months. Yeah. There hasn't been a follow-up zoom call. No, I think that's the right decision to be honest. But anyway, I'll talk about the very

stressful week. Oh yeah. We're not stressful but it'stalk about that on Friday. Look forward to it. Look forward to it. Now, on Friday's episode, we will, we've got some great emails in. We've got Rob, there's got someone who needs your help and what would Rob Beckett do. Always. We've got, we've got a milk tray moment and we've also making me feel better. we've got someone who left their child in the house without realizing it. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. thi. thi. their. to their. their, their, their, to their, to to their, their, their, their, to to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob. their, Rob. their, Rob. their, Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. We's, th. We's, th. We's, th. We's, th. I. I. I. I. I's, th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the house without realizing it. So I look forward to reading you that. Oh lovely. Yes, please. Can also, can I put a call out for anyone that's had their work meeting interrupted by their child? Yes. And how it went? Because I've been obsessed with those videos online of like BBC News interviews and Sky News interviews. They're on my Twitter. I've retweeted them. So if a kid's interrupted a serious chat, so I know someone was making, one of my friends' wives was making someone redundant and their kid walked in asking for biscuits. Oh my God, what the, her kid,

or the redundant, the person who's being made? No, no, no, the person making the person redundant. Her kid walked in while she was making some redundant. Because if it was the person who was being made redundant and then their kid came in asking for biscuits like Oliver. Not any more! Thanks to this guy! Yeah, for the next three months, snatch a tree! I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber one for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cashback

on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber 1 for students, a membership to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary eligibility and member terms apply. Josh will we got this week? This week he's got a very different approach to parenting. Rob, how would you describe it? He sounded so elaborate on a partridge then. Our guest this week is Fred West. Well yeah, Russell Kane I would say is one of the nicest most kind hearted people have ever met always looked

after me at the start of comedy I did his warm-up support and stuff of that. However, he's a maniac. He loves comedy, he loves gigging, he's got so much energy, he's hugely intelligent, he research, it's everything he does, and he approaches everything with a distinctive plan of action. And fatherhood is no different to the rest of his life, and he has got very meticulous ways in which he parents which sound very effective but I don't think everyone would be keen on it and it's incredible listening enjoy Russell Kane Russell Kane Rus, how are you? Do you want the lying version or the true version? True true for us? It's like Mo Farah has been put in a box I've got so much energy I'm used to just running around doing these long shows the long shows the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin thin the the the the the the the thin thin the the the the the the the the thin thin thin thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin to to the to to the to to to the to the to to to to the to to to the the the the the the the the the the to truth for us. True. It's like Mo Farah has been putting a box. I've got so much energy. I'm used to just running around doing these long shows at high energy, going to the gym,

doing podcast. Just my days are normally full and now they're empty. And I've got like twitchy legs when I'm trying to fall asleep. It's an absolute freaking nightmare. I've had to get an exercise bike just to milk off the excess. You are one of the most energetic and just like busy people I've ever met in comedy and you're always doing something. And even if you're not like booked on something, you're inventing a new way to sort of do like with your Facebook rants or podcasters, you're always doing about a million

things. as you're thrown the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi tho tho tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they. they. they. they. they. they. the the tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, thoooo, they. tho, they. tho million things. So is it really stressed you out like the. There's a bit of FOMO going on. Every year I tell myself, this is my peak creative year. Finally, I have arrived. This is the year where I write the best stand up. Oh, I will ever write. And of course now in my head is, I'm sort of taking a year. When I'm sort of a taxin' tha, I'm sort, I'm sort, I'm sort, I'm sort, I'm sort, I'm sort, I'm sort, I'm sort, I'm sort, I'm sort, I'm sort, I'm sort, I'm sort, I'm sort, I'm sort, I'm sort, I'm sort, I'm sort, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm sort tell, I'm sort tell, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I t, I, I t, I t, I tell, I t, I tell, I tell, I tell, I tell, I tell, I tell, I tell, I tell, I tell, I tell, I tell..... I'm sort, I'm sort tell, I'm sort tell, I'm sort tell, tell, tell, tell, tell, you know I'm going to go cost a sales old for a year. That's what I feel like. So it is really, that is doing my head in. That bit, so I feel sorry for my manager because he gets called every day.

Think of this, screenplay. And it just hangs up with it. How are you, how are your family dealing with that? Are you good to to to tha? tha? tha? tha? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that is, that is, that is that is that is that is that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, th. That is, th. That is, th. That is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that is thi. that is thi. thi. that is that is really that is really that is that is really that that is really that that is really that is really that is really, thi. thi. Are you good to live with or is it a nightmare for them? I am fortunate out of most of the stand-ups I know in that before this horrific COVID or if you're posh COVID-19 thing started I was already doing these blogs called Caney's the reason I did those was if I wasn't doing anything that was topical that week I was able to jump in first and get the best jokes before Friday came around and I got Newsview came on for example. I would he would have done the best Dominic coming jokes that I could think of. They couldn't be stolen in advance. So lucky for me I've

already learned the slightly weird timing of performing to a camera and imagining where I've learned it by afterwards going through the comments and working out where it's sort of like a pause but it's not a real pause so I sort of know I know the timing already yeah so I've just poured my energy into doing a load more of that so for me I've had places to stick that energy so it hasn't impeded too much on Lindsay and Miner's life not that not that they're still alive they're too skiletting they're their they're they're they're they're they're their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're that that that that's that's that's that's that's they're they're that's that's that's that's they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi they they thi they they they thi thi they're they Ross, you live up north now in Manchester, aren't you? Is that right? So it's your wife, you, your wife Lindsay and then you're doughty Minner. Yeah. And how else was Miner now? Four? Good age? Horrible in it and that's worse. It's worse. If there was a statue of Miner in the garden I'd be tearing it down due to a fascist. to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to to a to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tie. tie. tie. I tie. I' tie. tie. tie. tiea' tiea' tiea' tiea' tiea' tiea' their their their their their their tree. tell me stories about Minner, like where she always went to bed at the right times and very structured scheduled and she was a good sleep and stuff like that. And then you tell me stories about like on train, she'd just strip off naked and there's

nothing you could do. And so what kind of child is she? Like how is it? I always say to people, even at 8 a.m. you woke up. So I have, and it's particularly men that love to hear about this. I've nailed sleep. And I say, I, even though Lindsay and I did it together, I was sort of the one that came up with a plan who said, what we're going to do what we do what we do do to do to do to do to do to get to get to get that came up with the plan who said, what we're gonna do, what we do to get our daughter to sleep through the night.

So I will admit we've got sleep, and I know a lot of people don't like to hear that, but blokes do, they like to purve in on my full night sleep and hear how I did it. This is not normally going to be, just tell me, just, just to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the to the to the to the the to to to to to to to to to to me, I, I'll just, I, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'll, the, the, the, the, the, to, t..................... And, too, too, too, too, too, too, to, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, Stop it. I'll tell you how I achieved that in a minute because men love to hear I did it using nerdy charts. But it's when the eyes flick open. That is when the hell begins.

But that sort of also proves that, that also proves that regardless of the temperament of your child, whether you've got one of the laid back ones dribbling on its bricks as it amuses itself or whether you've got a holy water sizzling on the forehead bastard like I have. I do truly believe if you want to and there's no reason why you have to, there's no pressure to get your child through the night, but if it's something you both desperately want as a couple it can be achieved. What was your method, Russell? The benefit I've got is I'm the last one out of all my friends to have kids, right? So the downside is I'm going to be on a ventilator when she's done sports day. The plus.

100 meters, go one, you can run in for daddy. Do you remember the war? No, but the plus side is I was able to watch all my groups of friends and what went wrong most often, apart from all the usual childhood illnesses, was arguments about sleep, kids in the bed, sex life going down the drain, relationship going down the drain where the child's on the throne, ruling the house as soon as it was born. So I was thinking to myself, do you know what, I don't want that to happen to me. Plus my mom the the the the th th th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, thrushes, tho, tho, to to to to to to to to to to tho, tho, tho, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrushe, thrushe, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thr. And, thrown, thrown, and thrown, and thrown, and toge, and thrown, and thrown, and thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thr thinking to myself, do you know what? I don't want that to happen to me. Plus my mom was a childminder and a nanny, so she's a bit like badass with routine and sleep. So I just, me and Lindsay were like bobbing around in the pool on one of those all-inclusive

holidays and we're like, should we, should we start training for a baby? And I was like, before we do, before that Marvelorn that, before that, before that, before that, before that, before that, before that, before that, before that, before that, before that, before that, before that, before that, before that, before that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha in the bin, we are going to be in agreement on sleep. And that's the mistake most problems make. They just, once they've got a screaming satanic object in front of them, that's when, should we have the chat now? The time to have the chat is before fertilization. You need to agree about sleep in advance. It's really, really important. It doesn't matter if you both want to be bed, the to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they.a, they. And, they.s, they.s, they.s, together, theymea, together, they.s.s, they.s.s, ss, scea, scea, they. And, the if you both want to be bed sharing hippies, baby, hanging off the boo, behoove and all that, and you're both in the bed together and you're going to do attachment and go be up all night and be baby-led. That's fine.

No judgment from me and you shouldn't be judged by anyone. The problem is when you've got one person on one method and one on the other. If you've got a mom saying, you know, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're the, you're to, you're to, you're to, you're to, you're to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to do, and to do, and to do, and to do, and to do, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, and th, and th, th, th th th thin, tho, that, that, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that, tho, that, and th my boo by our marriage days and you wonk in the spare room. That's an issue. Have you been listening in to my house? No, but it's like because I always think everyone's like putting pressure on women. Her breast is best you need to do attachment. Now what's best is a really buzzingly happy mentally stable household where the children are being raised in a positive environment. If that means slamming formula into its mouth on day one. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to their their their their their their to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their thi their thi thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. thi. thi. thin. thin. thin. the. thin. the. the. thin. the. the. thin. the. thii. their their the children are being raised in a positive environment. If that means slamming formula into its mouth on day one, so be it. Yeah. Do you, I mean obviously the you need to decide this before you get pregnant is of use to about 2% of our listeners. Yeah, it should be a filter on Tinder. Early doors, isn't it? To be fair, for the people who

what age was, I mean, sleeping through the night. So we did eight th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their their, their, they. they. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, th. they. they. to be fair, for the people, listen, what age was, I mean, are sleeping through the night? So we did eight hours by eight weeks and 12 hours at 12 weeks. They were my targets. They're your targets. Oh, God, it's like the wolf of Wall Street. I love it. Eight hours at eight weeks. A little bit of baby trivia which anyone now who's had a kid will know but

probably never realized it before. Most babies are born chronologically speaking like daytime, nighttime speaking back to front so you'll anyone who's been lived with a pregnant woman will know baby doesn't do much all day sit down 8 p.m. What what what's a bit of Britain's got talent or whatever baby starts kicking yeah every time and then kicks are all through the night, I've had a rubbish night sleep, and then it sleeps all day. The reason for this is, as far as the stuff I've read, is, of course, when you're walking around all day,

if a woman's pregnant, she's rocking the baby effectively, and when she's laying down, the baby's not being rocks and they're not being, So they think that's why so many babies are born awake at night asleep during that. And where you're so knackered, you just follow that pattern and you end up two, three, four, five years of screaming baby all night, asleep all day. So contrary to what some people think about being some sort of sleep, and forcing a baby to sleep through the night, it's quite the opposite. My daughter was never allowed to cry or self-sue for any their th. their th. their th. their. And to, to, to, their, to, their, th. And th. And, their, th. And, th. And, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. their, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. So, th. And, th. And, th. th. th. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their, where their. their. their. th. th. th. th baby to sleep through the night. It's quite the opposite. You know, my daughter was never allowed to cry or self-sue for any of that nonsense that people here. We just worked initially when she was tight,

once she'd regained her birth weight, towards keeping her awake during the day, which is much, much easier. So you're just stretching. We're talking about when they're due for their scheduled nap. So babies need 16 hours sleep. Babies need 16 hours sleep so why wouldn't you squeeze 10, 12 hours of that sleep into a night time and had the four hours naps throughout the day. So whenever she was due for a nap, that's when I'd let my mom in, start rocking her so tho's thii th th th th th that that that that that that that that that that that that, to to to that, so to that, so to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the baby's the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby their baby their baby... their baby, so baby, so baby, so baby, so baby, so baby, so their their their thi. their thi. their thi. their their their their their their the. their the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to getting like a vein in the side of my schedule head going out.

You should be awake by now. So it's not about getting them to sleep, it's about keeping them up. Indeed, initially. And then what you'll see is you can gradually stretch the periods at night and people like you should never wake a sleeping baby. You should never fuck off out my house. What I would do is if Miner was due for, I don't remember what the timings are now because it seems like a lifetime ago. So she's supposed to have 90 minutes morning nap from 10 to 1130. 1131, I'm unswaddling that child. Getting her ready, fed on time, awake on the kick mat.

We were using like a cold flannel on her feet, anything to keep her stimulated in a way. And our our friends like that will never work you. That's Japanese prisoner of war thorough. Have you thought about working in Guantanamo Bay Russell? Sometimes I just screaming a face. Just play loud heavy metal for six hours. It was it was all done with like games. I know I'm not invested. But we but it was our friends every single one across that why work theythey supposed to get up before? You should be on pool nub at 4 a.o. Play the game. And that's the other bollocks that winds me up is that babies wake

at 4 a 5 a.m. is nothing you can do. It's absolute dog shit. If you get on a plane to Australia, your baby doesn't magically know Because people's definition of what they call a blackout curtain is pathetic. It winds me up. People like, I've got the blackout just like it said and you go in and you like you could kill a vampire within seconds in that room at 6 p.m. You shouldn't be able to walk across a blacked out room at midday. It should look like in Spanish and Italian people do proper blackout shutters and stuff. So we did. So instead of doing a 7 a.m. to 7pm date, what use is that to a stand-up if, because I want to be involved as a dad, I said to Lindsay, let's do 9 till 9 till 9 until she goes to school. And we get a bit of an evening and we did get

a lay in as well. So that's what my sleep but your daughter can, Russell, during the coronavirus. You thought about training yourself? You know, I can't, I am more of the, one of the surprising things about me, I'm more like the sort of puppy that runs around the park and then you just look across and I'm asleep in my basket 20 minutes. I've always been a brilliant sleeper because I sort of leave it all on the stage or in the office or on the phone call or whatever. I am quite good at relaxing at night, weirdly. You're so well read with stuff like that. I know you always do your research and whatever it is you're doing. So it's the same with kids and stuff.

Um, it's only like books you recommend and also is there any bit of parents where you've goney that. That's not worked out, you know, the things that you've messed up. Well, the two points there, the first thing is, as you'll know, anyone that's got children, it changes from generation to generation. So when my mom was in, gave birth to me, for example, back in the cholera epidemic of 1918, when my mom gave birth to me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me, the the to me. She was told, you know, routine, read as much as you can.

This is the most important thing that will have happened to you. But if you have a baby now, you are literally, like, radicalized by the maternity nurses. Don't read anything. Let the baby, let the baby, let baby will tell you. What, when they're the bollocks, it's like a milk slug with no brain. What's it gonna tell me? You can drink milk and shit itself. I'm gonna teach me anything. Everything else I've done, everything I've done in my entire life

and the same for anyone else, has been enhanced by study and preparation. There is virtually nothing that is not enhanced by, even when you get married and it's the most romantic, but every single thing is studied and planned about the schedule. And so why would I, which is the most important thing, or second off to stand up, you'll have a fly. You know, why would you not educate you.

Don't educate yourself, educate yourself less. Take knowledge out your head. Just roll the baby through a corona tub and see what happened. I'm going to fucking learn my shit. So that's the first thing is don't don't be bullied into not breeding because unbelievably that is the culture of your both your friends and your peer group and they're good studying. It's a baby. Let baby lead you, that's the doctor and also the nurses. And then whatever you feel as a couple go with th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to the to to their to to their to to their to their to to to their toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. their their their their their, their, the dogma and also the nurses. And then whatever you feel as a couple go with that, there's loads of, if you're into attachment parenting

and the evidence is split, none of the one, not one thing is best for the child than the other. What's best is a happy household. So if you're into attachment parenting, go and read everything to do with bedchering, attachment, You go for it. If you want to be more on a schedule like me, there's loads of books to read Baby Whisperer. I would recommend, I can't remember what the author's name is on the Baby Whisper of it. Gina Ford's good, contented baby handbook.

She provides a military do this. Wake up, have your glass of water at 7 a.m. Proceeds to the nursery and wake up. Now some people find that patronizing. To that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, is their is their, is their, is their, is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, is the the the their, is the their, is the the the the the their, the the their, their, is their, is their, is their is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their their their toda, is a today isa, isa, isa, is a today isa, I was like in uniform doing like a circuit of the building before. I bet if you had any howlers any any fails with it Russ where things have just haven't clicked. Well I have no idea if I don't want to come off sexist or anything I have no idea if this is because I've got a little girl where I guess it would have been the same if it been a boy but I just I am struggling with the you know I mean it'll be like get th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the get the get the the the thi thi the. I'd the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'll be like th. I'll be like th. I'll be like thi thi thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'm thi. I'm theeeeeeeeeeeee. I'm thi. I'm theeee. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I I guess it would have been the same if it had been a boy, but I just, I am struggling with the, you know, Minner will be like, get me a biscuit now, Daddy. And Lindsay will be like, do let a speak to you like that. And I'll be, and I'll pretend to discipline. But I'm just, okay, Daly, what type of biscuit would you like, like,that. I should be guiding her better and I'm just struggling with the being the bad guy.

Do you think it's a comedian thing, Russell, that you want to be liked? Maybe. You don't want to disappoint her. Maybe. Possibly. But I've been doing it this genuinely. I mean, I don't know how bizarre and Freudian this is. It started by me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, you thi, you thi, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you. thi, you. thi, you. thi, you. thi, you. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, you, you, you. that, you, you, you, you, you, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't know how bizarre and Freudian this is. It started by me saying to Minner, because she's allowed to have the light on in the hallway and a door open as she drifts to sleep. And she started to push the boundaries for the first time ever recently. So we had four years where she never even put her head out of the bedroom. And recently she was like, can I just play in the hallway. And I just toldld to told told told told told told th, th told th th th th th th th thin thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin' thin' tho, I tho, I tho, I'm thin' thin' tho, I the the the the light the light the light the light, I the light, to to to to to to to to to have the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, the th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thr. thr. thrown, I'm thrown, I'm thrown, I'm thrown, I'm thrown, I'm thrown, I'm thrown, the thrown, I'm the hallway? And I just told her my dad, what my dad was like, it's bedtime, door closed, lights off, don't fuck me, so I didn't swear. And she, I now sort of do, she's like what would your daddy do if I was doing this? And then I do an impression of Dave

Kane and it sort of sorts it out of turns. I try to them into my dad when I need the difficult part of the parenting? That's a, that's, of all the techniques you've got, using your dad from beyond the grave. I do like a politgise. How did you get her to stop? Because one of my daughters just takes her clothes off at any opportunity, if you don't watch it for long enough, just sort of strips off and your daughter, like everyone. She gets hot doesn't she? Really hot you said. May last night, woke up at 2 a.m. dripping in sweat. My daughter has aircon fitted into a bedroom. I know it's a bit extravagant on 16 degrees Celsius every night blasting. the thrown to the air. to theyn. the tree. to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. thooom's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. the. toe. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toea. toea. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe the spinny vent thing on it to make it less severe.

We had to take that off last night. She's exactly the same as me, just born hot. And I'm the same. I've got an aircon unit in my room. Poor Lindsay. Lindsay has to, she's got a heated blanket on her side of the bed. I miss it. You know that. You know that the treatment the the the the the the the the the the the thinkinkinkinkinkinkinkin kit the the the the the the the thinininin kit thin thin thin thin thin thinne thinne the is the is the is the the is the is the the the. the. the. the. the. the. thi. thi. thi. the same same same same same same same same same same same same same. the same same same. the same same. the same. the same. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thin. thinanananananananananananananananananananan the is the is the is things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. thean. sleeps. Wow, the temperature situation. So he's actually just hot when she's out and about, so she'll take stuff off on the try. So the nakedness, she's still naked. So like we've got, and she's tall my daughter as well. So though she's forced, she could pass for five and a half or six.

It's not, it's starting to get a bit the to be totally starkers in the front garden. Do you know what I mean? I think on a holiday on a hot beach, people wouldn't mind, but as soon as the yodel guy turns up, she's out there doing clap the NHS. There'll be like Tuesday at 3 p.m. naked, clapping for the NHS. And it is worrying that my daughter's an attention junkie. And I'm like, please, I keep, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, like, I, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, like, like, the, like, like, like, like, the, like, like, like, the, like, like, like, the, like, the, like, the, the, the, pin you know, he didn't dance. And it's terrifying. But she just won't wear clothes. She just, and I'm like, please, just, just underwear would be a start,

you know what I mean? Just some underwear. And you have sort of explicit yoga stretching in the background of a zoom call. Yeah, I don't know what it is. She just will not be impeded by clothing. If we go out for walks and stuff, she will. But on a train, if I get the, I'm hurt, I feel hot, I know we're in trouble. I know we're not normal, me and Minner because we will go out, I don't know,

and it'll be February, and we're both walking down the high street, t-shirt, jeans, and the fairy hoods and I'm getting looks from parents. I cannot get a coat on her. I've got a coat with me, but it'll be under the buggy. And my coat will start on, and then I'll start dripping in sweat. So we just like these two freaks with t-shirts. I'm dripping in sweat. We'd look like we had COVID-19 now.

We'd be abducted by the Chinese government if we went out of the road. You're one of the kind of, I'd say the most well-read people I know. You read a lot and you do a lot of audio books and stuff. Is your daughter following in your footsteps with that kind of stuff? She has inherited the audio book bug from me. So until this mess started, we had no screens in the week rule, so you're allowed films at the weekend. And the reason I do films, again, again, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I th, I th, I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't thi thi tho, I don't thi, I thi thi, I'd the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most, I the most, I the most, I the most, I the most, I the most, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the theate theateateateateateate, I theateateateateate, I'd theat theat theat theate the th you're allowed film. You're allowed films at the weekend. And the reason I do films, again I don't push this on anyone else is my own personal choice, is it's just a theory I've got and there's a little bit of evidence out there that if we all watch a film

it's longer scenes, you've got to follow a story from beginning to end. You've got to use your concentration. Whereas if it's an iPad game or really quick cartoons, it's a bit more, oh you've done one thing, let's move on to something else, it's not really training the concentration as well. Of course that's all gone to shit now. I'm feeding them. Munch the munch in the mouth, Mr. Tumble in the eyes. When we're doing the daily walks, thi. When we're their ma, their, their, their, they, to to to toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. too, let's too, let's too, to to to to tho, let's tho, let's to tho, let's to to to to to to to to to to toe, let's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toe, let's, let's, let's, let's toe, let's too. their, let's they. they. they. they. they. they. they. theymea, let's they. theymea, theymea, theymea, theymea, thoomoomoombse, let's thoomo, let is just me and Minner, while Lindsay cries in relief that we're both out of the house for an hour. We never do our family walk together, it's just Lindsay kicking us out the door of our fuck out. We, Minner has an iPad, but she's got earphones plugged in and closed and she'll have an audio book on. If you can get kids hooked on audio books, you feel less guilty as a parent because they still see it as a the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, we're, we're, we're, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. We'll, th. We'll, th. We'll, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, their, thin, thin, their, we're, we're, we're thin, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we because they still see it as high value because they're holding the forbidden iPad. And they can even look at the steel square of whatever book it is they're reading.

But they've got the earphones and you feel like they're having a literary positive experience, but they feel like they're having an iPad experience and everyone wins. And audible have got some, like all the Julia Donaldson ones and I don't know if any of your lot to read those stick mail. Yeah, yeah, they really go to town and read it slowly so it takes about like 28 minutes to get through Gruffload. Yeah, it's like, on your point five speed. Exactly. Russ, has there been any like ideas about parenting or like, you know, tactics and strategies you wanted to use that Lindsay has said no I don't I think that's too much or I don't agree with that way obviously I think you're the ones bringing these ideas in is that fair or is it Lindsay as well takes more the other way around

Lindsay will be the more strict hardcore one I'll be the I'll be the in fact she's like why you're being such a pussyhole and that he said more she just spoke to you like in the the you like you like you like to like to like to like to like to like to like to like to like to like to like to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the try. try. I try. I try. I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's said more than a month and that. Did you just speak to you like shying in there? Do you want to go back in and correct her? And I'm like, I don't want to be seen it. So it's more like that. The one, the strategy that I did that I brought in that Lindsay was skeptical about first, but that as prove that I've proved because she's quite rightly a bit right. A bit right. A thrown. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thee. thee. thee. thin. th. th. that I'm, thee. So, thin. that I'm, that I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm. So, I'm. So, I'm. So, I'm. So, I'm. So, I'm. So, I'm. So, I'm. So, I'm. So, I's. So, I's. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I's. So, I's. So, I'm. So, I'm. So, I'm not. It's. It's. It's more. It's more. It's more. It's more. It's more. It's more. It's more. It's more. It's more. It's more. It's more-year-old and that is right, of course it is and I realize I'm a bit wrapped around the finger, but I've read a really brilliant book, forgive me, I'm not listening to all the all of your episodes of someone may have recommended it already called Philip Perry, the book You Wish Your Parenthood, yeah, yeah, oh yeah, my wife's heard that game changer. And what it is, right in the heat of the moment when the child is being absolutely violent

and has just thrown a drink across your laptop or whatever, or does something really bad, if instead of letting your anger unleash, which I'm weirdly good at finally enough for a highly strong person, I'm quite good at staying calm, is the first thing to do is identify with why they might be frustrated to acknowledge their feeling. Now when I told this to lean, fuck off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off a their their their their their their their their their their their their thi their their their thi thi thrown a thrown a thi thrown a thrown a thrown a thrown a thrown a thrown a thrown a thrown a thrown a thrown a thrown a th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi thi. I thi. I thi. I thrown. I' thrown. I' thrown. I' thrown. I' thrown. I' thrown. I'm thrown. I'm thrown. thrown. thrown. I'm thrown. I'm might be frustrated to acknowledge their feeling. Now when I told this to Lindsay, I fuck off my laptop, fuck, fuck, and then I'm like, no. Did you identify with Lindsay's feelings at that point? Yes, I did. Well, you can get on adults. It works really well in debates when you go, I understand why you're angry about the Winston Churchill,

for example. I totally get where you're coming from. If I see it from your point of view, I would feel X, Y, Z. So you're in a non-patronizing way, validating the emotions that that person has. The problem is, you use that phrase, it's having this effect on me a minute. You know, when you speak to me like that, it hurts my feelings. We both felt a bit silly and American doing this method. It feels a bit like into an American self-hocally, but it totally takes the sting out of the child's anger. But I do need to, what, Lindsay is right, I do need to work on being a little bit tougher

when she's being rude to me and when she's being naughty, I'm a bit soft. How much does your parenting differ from the parenting that you received as a child, Russell? Massively. Not so much from what my mom did, but from my dad. As my dad used to constantly tell me, I didn't have a dad, so I didn't even ever dead, and I used to whisper, you lucky fucker. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Everyone. All my friends, because I come from a council area, so mostly single parents, my friends, my friends,, from, from, my f, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from their mom, from my mom, from my mom, from thi mom, from my mom, from my mom, from my mom, from my mom, from thi, from my mom, from my mom, from my mom, from my mom, from my mom, from my mom, from my mom, from my mom, from my mom, from my mom, from my mom, from my mom, from my mom, from my mom, from my mom, from my mom, from my mom, from my mom, from my mom, from my mom, from my mom, from my mom, from my mom, because I come from a council area, so mostly single parents, my friends, or divorced parents or dysfunctional marriages.

I thought I was one of the few, a mom and a dad and a house. Very rare where I come from. And everyone used to tell me how lucky I was, but they seem to always seem to be happy than they always. My dad was not physically abusive at all. And he, in fact, he wasn't, my my my my my my to my to to my to to my to th. My th. My to to th. My th. My to to to th. My to to th. My to to to to to my friends, my friends, my friends, my friends, my friends, my friends, my friends, my to to to to to to to to to to to to my to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to my to my to my to my to my to my to my to my to my to my to my to my to my to my to my to to th. My th. My th. My th. My thi. My thi. My thi. My thi. My thi. My friends. thi. thi. My thi. My friends. My friends. My friends, my friends, my friends, my friends, my friends, my friends, my friends, my friends, my friends, my to me. My to. My to be happy than me always. My dad was not physically abusive at all and in fact he wasn't abusive at all on any level he was accidentally just very negative and invalidating. So I've put it all down and I've recently released like it's not so much a memoir but sort of it's called Son of a

Silverback it's a book all about my dad growing up as a son of I stop it before I start stand up so therethere's no, I went on stage and I felt like this, there's none of that in there. So I just, I try not to, like my classic example of my old man was I would go for a cycle on my bike and I would have cycled 10 miles in the day and I'd be about like 14 years old. I was so proud of myself and my old man. I used I was I was I was I was to go I was to go I was to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the th. I was th. I was th. I was to th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was just to th. I was thirty thirty, I was th. I was th. I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try th. I was th. I go, I used to cycle 30 a day to work. Fuck here now. And this will go out of the road. If we were going on holiday the traffic would be shit. He would know in advance the hotel's going to be shit. I reckon the food will be shit. The whole thing will be a rip off. So I try to work on not putting that negativity in because I'm very lucky. It didn't affect, you know, it turned me into the opposite, it made me resilient, but it could have had another effect on me so I'm careful not to put that a negativity in.

Do you think you'll have more kids, Russell? You'll stick your one? No, no, fuck it. Absolutely. No. No chance, whatsoever. And because Minas 4, we're getting the older, you're going to feel different in a couple of years. We have to hear th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th to feel th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that to have to have to have to have to have thate thate thate thate thate thate. thate that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that that, that that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thate thate thate thate thate thate to thate thate an thate an thate thate. that're getting the older, you're going to feel different, you'll feel different in a couple of years. We have to hear that from everybody. You're going to feel different. My eldest was six, and we never thought, but honestly, if I, even a twinge, I'll smash my bollocks off with a spoon. I'll never have another child. One's one. One's one's enough. Miner has twins in one brain. Fair enough. How many of you, how many have you got? Josh, how many have you got? I've got one, so she's two and a half. That's heaven isn't it one?

Are you gonna have more? I think possibly, yeah. I mean, I think the thing with it is. Rob, help him. I like having two. I like having two. I've got onto your head, Rob. No, I love it. I said, Your miss is there going, tell them how you like having two. No, genuinely, it is hell for like 18 months,

but once I get to 18 months, it's so much easier because they've got a mate in the house. So I would say it is horrendous for that first 18 months, but once you get over that and they can play together it's a godsend because they're not on you for attention and games. They've got each other to play with. Do you find one, Russell? Because I kind of think the, is that everything you do, you go, well, once we go through this, that's it. I don't have to do it again with, once I've done to have the sleep the sleep. I've to do. I've to do it. I've to do it. I've to do it. I've to do it. I've to do it. I've to do it. I've to do it. I've to do it. I've got. I've got. I've got. I've got. I've got. I've got. I've got. I've to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it's to do it's to do it's to do it's to do it's to do it's to do it's to do it's to do it's to do it's to do it. I've to do it. I've to do it. I've to do it. I've to do it. I've to do it. I've. I've. I've to do. I've to do. to do. to do it. to do. to do it. to. to. the to. to. to. the to. to. to. the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the to. to. the to. Once I've done the nappy thing, that's it. I've never got to take that on again.

That must be quite a kind of freeing thing. Because you go, this phase, I've got to deal with it once in my life. It's freeing, but then you realize how much people have been lying to you. Because I remember when the baby was born, they was like, thisthen the fucker sits up and goes huge journey and then it's something you're like, oh no, so there's just another hill and you realize it's like that horrific program SIS challenge. There is always another hill. Yeah. It's like you just get to the top of the peak. It's like some horrific Greek myth and there is another peak. As soon as they get to school, it's going to be fine. Is it? Well I'll their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Yeah. Yeah. N. N. their. Yeah. Yeah. their. their. Yeah. Yeah. their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. their. they. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. they. they. their. their. the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the. the. the. the. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. the. the. t. t. t. t. te. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. they get to school, it's going to be fine, is it? Well, I'll find out soon. So yeah, nappy training and potty training and sleep was bad, but there's always another hill to overcome. So far as the specific question of would I like to re-tackle them. I think if a newborn was tele not as I'm really careful not to judge baby-led people.

In fact, I'm jealous that they're so relaxed that they can let Bibi lead the way and all lose it together with soy milk. I'm jealous. But because I have approached it in a structured knowledge-led way, I would like to think, I would find it even easier the second time. I think think think think thatatatatty thatter thathe thatting thathe thathe thathe thatting thathe thathe thathe, I'm thathe, I'm thathe, I'm thatheat, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the the the the the the the th............ I'm, tho, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that. I'm, they. I'm, the the the the time. Pottie training. I think there's a real fear the first time that you're going to, you know, you've worried you're going to break it or do whatever.

But I think the second time, presumably, you're a bit, you just must be so much more confident with the child because you've done it before and you didn't kill them. What's that? Yeah, you are, you are, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're more, you're more, you're more, you're more, you're more, you're more, you're more, you're more, you're more, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, you're just, just, just, you're just, just, just, you're just, just, you're just, just, just, just, just, just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you. the, you. the, you, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the like, when the first one, cause it, oh my god, it's go to hospital now and then, the second one, you're like, oh, it'll be alright, let's give it, let's let him, let's sleep for a bit, let's see what happens. Do you do the thing where every single noise, you think, they're dying, I remember just kept sneaking in to see their chest going, is it breathing? Yeah, she's breathing. But like, check it for like, how that's terrible. But anyway. Oh, God.

When you, when you're not a parent and all your mates are telling you what it's like, they don't have to lie, don't they? So they're like, I've never felt such love and completion. Is it, will it be the next Prime Minister? An astronaut, a Hitticest? You know, what is this baby going to be and you think you're going to have all these but whereas the reality is you just sit there going to be dead, it's dead being by a dog. It's gonna fall off, I'll get a when they're little like that, it's everything's so charged. It's awful. The other thing about having two, Josh, I would just say, I don't know anything about your child, but the benefit of having the type of baby I've had first is it inoculates you

against the desire for a second one. If you're unlucky enough to have a such a well-behaved relaxed baby first, you are tricked by nature into bringing the omen into the house. The second one. I think I'm lucky in that sense because she is intense. Like she's a nursery they'll go, she's a big character isn't she? And you know what they mean. Full of energy. Yeah she's full of energy. Yeah, she's full of energy. I mean the subtitles on that, would you?

Russell Kane. I'm going to say, where do we start? Wow, I mean, Russell is one of the most intelligent people I've ever met and also one of the kind is the most generous. So like, this, sometimes when he talks about like he's scheduled for his kid and stuff, it's all coming out of a place of love and support. He's such a lovely man and a good family man, but like it's so like I could never stick to that kind of regime. I'd be, I'd break it all the time. I know this isn't the bit that, you know to choose from 9 p.m. to 9 a.m. are definitely not the 12

hours I would choose for my baby's sleep. Or what do you choose? I definitely have her going to sleep earlier because what time do your children go to bed? Like my daughter probably we probably leave her about 7.30 and then you get an evening but then you get an evening but he because he works I think he was saying he gets home late but then I don't I the the the the the the th. th. the th. they. th. he. he. I he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he's to he. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to choose. I would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the te. the the too. too. too. too. too. to. to. to. to. he's because he works I think because he was saying he gets home late but then I don't know so he can see it before bed but that I he did say actually we didn't actually get it on the show but his blackout curtains yes he is three layers of blackout so you put like a sheet on the window and then two blinds. That's intent my question with that I should have asked this is does that not pose problems if you go anywhere else?

Or is he packing three layers of blinds when he's going? He's packing three layers of plan. He definitely would take blind. I know him. I went on two of him. He would take blind 100% and we're a sleep mask. But I have always slept better on holiday in places like Spain when they do have those metal shutters. I do think. that I have that I have that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. threat. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha. tha. those metal shutters. So I do think that a blackout blind does make you sleep better. I don't think that is in doubt and I don't know why we don't do it more. So maybe he's on to something. Are you a good sleep? We've never actually discussed whether we're good sleep as ourselves. Are you good at sleeping Rob? I mean what a question? Am I don't think I could go pro, but you know I can't thoan a Sunday on a Sunday on a Sunday on a Sunday on a Sunday on a Sunday Sunday Sunday on a Sunday Sunday Sunday on a Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday on a Sunday Sunday Sunday on a Sunday Sunday Sunday on a Sunday Sunday the the the the the the the the to go go go go pro pro pro pro pro pro. I to go pro. I'm to go pro pro pro. I'm to go pro pro pro. I'm to go pro. I'm to go pro pro pro. I'm to go pro pro. I can't to go. I can't to go. I can't to go pro pro pro pro pro pro. I'm to go pro. I'm to go pro. I'm to go pro. I'm on a to go pro. I'm on a to go pro. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm on a th. I'm on a th. I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm th. I'm a th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I hold me on. I can sleep anywhere, like if on a plane or if you just, if you leave me alone for long enough I'm not working, I can nod off.

But I've not been sleeping that well in lockdown, but it is difficult because you're not being out to get as tired, going out of place and stuff. I think the worst feeling in the world is, well not the worst feeling in the world, obviously there's terrible feelings. But that feeling when your child has gone to sleep in the early days and then you can't get to sleep yourself and the pressure you're putting on yourself to get to sleep. I was so worried about like not the pressure. I just strew away at cool night. So you were worried you'd sleep through their night. Have you got a deep sleep thi sleep thi alarm though, aren't you're so I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I their. I their. So I their. I's so I's so I's so I's so I's so I's so I's so I's so I's so I's so I'm so their. I'm so their. I'm their their their their their their. I'm their their their. their. their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I' their. I's. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the pressure. the pressure. the pressure. the pressure. the pressure. the pressure. the pressure. the pressure. the pressure. the pressure. the pressure. the pressure. the pressure the pressure the pressure the pressure the pressure the What so you were worried you'd sleep through their quiet have you got you've got you've got a thingy alarm there Yeah, but I I'm such a deep once I've gone Josh I've gone And like that's why Lou gets annoyed of me because she always gets out of him the night Because I don't hear it so the about time she wakes me up and kicks me they've gone from a bit? to the tom to to to to to to their their their their th of th of their their th of th of tho their their tho their tho tho their their their tho tho tho their their their things tho their their things things things things things their their their their I'm their I'm their I'm their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th I I I's th I's thi thi's thi's things I's things I'll things I'm things I'm things things I'm things. things I'm things I'm things. things I'm things I'm things I'm things I've got better now, but when I was like a bit more nervous with my first one, when she was like three, four months old, I just couldn't sleep.

And what do you think about Russell reading a lot of books? A lot of books? It makes me feel bad that I haven't really read any other books. Yeah, but Lou has has some. that's like, theyrtles. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like't we? You know like, especially I live in South East Sunday, about time you hear someone shout and they're like three-year-old, stop being a little shit! I mean, what kind of feedback's that? What are you? Stop being a little shit? Oh, come here. Now stop being a little shit? you like that? And I try and get them to breathe when they're getting all worked up to do like, like sort of mindfulness breathing and that helps and calm. That's clever. I sometimes see them doing that like on their own when they're getting worked up. Yeah. So just breathe and just sort of just slowing down the emotion as it as it were. I think that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's like. I that's like. I that's like. that's like. that's like. that's like. that's like. that's like. that's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, that's, that's, that's, that's, that, that, that, that, that, that,tip. That's really, really changed things, is that tip of when they're angry, you've got to understand where they're coming from and they don't want to be angry and they're struggling through this and it's, you know, and you've got to kind of make them and try and kind of stop them identifying with that anger in a way? Do you know what I mean? They need to work it through. And I try and put myself in their shoes as well where I remember when I was a kid

and you'd set something up like that and your mom goes, I'll tie it up with put that away, whatever and you're like in your head though it's and I try and remember not to just but bulldoze them we sort of like I'm in charge just do that sort of bring them along with me you know I mean because I remember how angry I'd get get them on side I'm not a sergeant major I've got I've got a deal with that yeah you're an arm around the shoulder manager exactly I like to see myself I like to see myself as Yogan Klopp. That's how I like to see myself. Children are like Gascoigne. They're unpredictable. They can ruin the day, but they can also bring magic out of nowhere. But they need to be managed and keep them off the booze. Lou read that in a book didn't she told you. Yeah, that's what Philip Perry bangs on about. Keep him off the whiskey and they'll be all right. Thank you to Russell.. th Russell. th Russell. th Russell. to Russell. to Russell. to Russell. to Russell. to Russell. to Russell. to Russell. to Russell. to Russell. to Russell. to Russell. to Russell. to Russell. to Russell. to Russell. to to th. to to th. th. th. the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. I. their. I. th. I. I. I. th. I. I. th. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. Genuinely I'm going to say it. That is the most different

from all the other interviews that we've done. I mean that compared to the Daisy May Cooper episode. Well, you should say to Russell. What would you do if your daughter put a Union Jack Flagg in a shit she did in your shed? What would Russell Kane do? That would be? I don't know if he'd be flicking through his books and there'd be no reference to what to do with the Union Jack and shit. Yeah, let me just consult the books to do. There's 30 books, none of them have mentioned this. Blackout blind so you can't find the area to shit.

Thank you everyone. If you want to get in touch to to to to to to get to to get to to get to to to to get to to get to to get to to to get to to to to to get in to to to to get in to to to to to get in to to to get to it too dark. Thank you everyone. If you want to get in touch, this is how. Email us, hello at lockdown parenting.co. UK. Or we're on Twitter at lockdown parents. We always appreciate your five-star reviews or subscribe on iTunes. That's it really, isn't it? Tell your friends about it. Also you got someone who's a bit of a Luddite, just grab their phone and subscribe to it for us. Exactly. They won't even know that it's getting downloaded until they run out of storage and then you can delete them but that all helps us out. Exactly. It's like that. You two album on iTunes. Yeah, just sneak in into the library. Thank you for listening. Yeah, thank you very much. And we'll see you next time.

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