Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S01 EP25: Judi Love

Episode Date: July 21, 2020

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' - S01 EP25: Judi LoveJoining us in the studio this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) during the lock down and beyond is the brilliant comedian and presenter, Judi Love. Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, I'm Josh Riddickham. And I'm Robb. Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell. The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. So in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation. And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. Hello and welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and

Just Widdickham. Pretty good? Really good. I like the energy, I like the volume, the real strong Beckett and Whiddickum. Who is that? So that is from, so the mother is called Louisa Mingo. Sebastian saying your names. Oh, well done, Sebastian. He is three and a half. Sebastian Mingo. What a name. Good on him. He's got to be a performer with that name. He sounds like, it sounds like an artist.

Oh, that's a Mingo. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful painter. Good on yourself. He interrupted his father Chris's video call with 30 people, including senior management, to say, Daddy, I did a poo poo on the potty. That's good. Which I think's very nice.

I imagine he articulated it very well indeed. Yeah, Daddy, I've done poo poo, really hit every syllable. Chris Mingo's like, sorry about this. Cable. That sounds like, you know, like, like, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the to the the th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, thi, thi, wonderful, wonderful, thi, thi, thi, wonderful, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. this top table. That sounds like you know like when people don't call it Christmas now are you looking for Chris Mingo can't wait for it. Chris Mingo is coming up. What are you doing this Chris Mingo with the rello's over? Hey guys? We're talking about talking about interruptions my daughter as we just started doing this has been banging on the door and I had to grab it off her off her off camera gave me me me me me me me me me me me me me me the the the the the the the the the the the to the the to the to to to to the to to to to the c. the c. the ch. the ch. I are you're to the chr. Are the chriss. Are the chrilo the chrilo the cri's the cri's the cri's the cri's the chrilo the chrilo the chr. are like are like are like are like are like are like are like are like are like are like are like are like are like are like are like are like are the ch the ch the ch the ch. are the ch. are the ch. are the ch. are the c. are the c. are the c. are the c. Are the c. Are the c. Are the c. Are they. Are they. Area. Are they. Area. Area. Are we look look look for the the they. Area. Area. Area. Are we look. Are we look look. Are you look. Are the the the doing this has been banging on the door and I had to grab it off her off camera gave me

a flower for no reason this is what they do they're vindictive children she knows I'm working well I said dad's working leave him alone it'll come out and speak to you in a minute and do you know whatever so she knocks on the door and goes daddy I love you I've got you a flower. You don't give a shit about me. You're doing this to distract me and get a... She don't actually, she's never done this ever. Where's the flower from? Was she ripped it off of one of your flowers? Yeah, she's ripped it off the flowers.

Yeah, she's ripped off the gardening children. I've had chili seeds, right? Make loads of chili plants. I misjudged it. I've now got 35 chili plants. I only need the 4 or 5. Have you? Have a pepper on it.

I didn't realize every seed would grow. Like I thought it was like a bit bland, have a pepper on it, a bit chilling. So she's got one, my daughter, in a pot, and she was like watering the garden, she's like can I water my chili plant? I'm like, yeah, and she gets the watering cam. And she's just drowning it. She's just drowning it. She's just drowning it. She's just drowning.

their to chili plant. She's just looking at me carrying on. Because in her eyes, obviously it's all more water the better. They need it, isn't they? It's only going to just soak away. Do you know what I've realized is, if they haven't had enough sleep, they're awful. And if they've had too much, they're awful. So they're just annoying in a different way. They're either grouchy and having it to go to. They're their their their their they're their. They're they. They're their. They're they. They're their. They're they're they're their. They're they're they're they're they're they're they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just just just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just just, they're just just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just. They're just, they're just. They're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their. They're their. they're just, they're just, their. their. they're just just just just just they're just going, they're just going, they're just going going, they're just going going just going, they're just they're just going going. they're just just they're just just they're just their. they're just they're like daddy daddy daddy daddy you're fuck off this morning do you know what I did I've never done it before they were annoying me sat they were fighting shouting and all that and I had to ti the kitchen up before preschool I'd decide I put two headphones and just listen to a podcast as loud as I could to drown them out oh is that allowed I don't know if it they weren't they weren't those big they were they they they they were they they they were they they were they they were they were they they were they they were they they they were they they they were they they they were they they they were they they they they they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were weren't they were weren't they were weren't they were weren't they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they weren't w weren't they weren't w weren't they were they weren't w weren't w weren't they were they weren't w weren't they were they weren't they were they weren't they weren't they were they were they were they were now, are they? Not his big bad boys. They were like, earpock, but it's still full of noise, isn't it?

An headphone, that's the point. Yeah, but they can't, they can't see it. They can't see it. They knew, I went, I'm not listening to this anymore. But I just had enough, I just had enough. Oh, that about 930. Brilliant. So it's a really difficult period and I preferred to have her being an absolute horror show from 430 to 6 day. Have you thought about a cold

flannel mid-afternoon just to keep her away? From myself. The Russell Kane technique. I sways you did with it to keep them awake? We've have a a a a their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to th. th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to, to to theea. to to to thiiiiiii. to thiii. thi. But, thi. But, thi. But, if technique. I suppose you did with it to keep them awake. We've had a lot of feedback from certain episodes, haven't we, Josh? We have had a lot of feedback from certain episodes. I'd love to hear your feedback on people's advice and techniques. If you've got any issues with them as well let us know we can read them out. That's always quite a good form. There's so far there's three guests that we've reported the guests. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. the the the the the the th. their. their th. their th. their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their th. th. th. their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. to. to. their. to. to. to. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. thPCC isn't that? Yeah, yeah, it should have been five. We forward the tapes straight on, we just find it easier. We're basically, we're the crime squad. We're actually, it's a big ruse. We're not actually comedians.

We just do this to try and get in the try and get into the info on kids that aren't being looked after properly, but we'll get time when they're both out of prison it will be fine. So I mean they're too powerful in the podcast. They're like the Obama's. We've got to bring them down. There's don't, you know, like the Clintons. There must be some sort of email chain. I'm sure Chris Rans is in some fruity what's the true. We can hack that's that be good good start that's the dream that is the dream how has your week been

Rob well okay so we have booked a summer holiday this week okay I know a lockdown summer summer summer trip we are yeah Ocean Beach in Ibitha yeah yeah Wayne Lila can sort us out I've got a bed so we just gonna sleep there day and night oh I have realized though certain things as social distance it is. Stuff's better, isn't it? Just more space in restaurants, more space in bars. It was never fun being rammed in, was it, into a small space? That wasn't any good. No, have you found greeting people's easier because you don't have to worry about the type of greeting you give them? So what are you what are you doing? Just sort of an awkward? Just not touching them them them them them them them them them them them the their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their their? their? th. their? th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. I. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I th. I th. I's te. I's tea. I's tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. their. their their their space. the awkward. Just not touching them. And it's brilliant because I did a TV show.

Yeah. So I did, I did celebrity catchphrase, so we can't discuss how it went. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, we spoke about this. I absolutely smashed it. Yeah, you did absolutely smash it. Did they talk about me? They talk about you like, it's like, you know when there's a pub and they're like a celebrity,

like the time Steve Davis came and played Paul in a pub. It's like that, it's like... Fucking hell, Judge, I had your reference point. That is Steve Davis at a pub? Well, I was thinking about what happens in a pub and I was thing thooker player. And who's the best snooker player is Steve Davis? Oh my god, yeah, why I would love it. Tell me if you were in a pub and Steve Davis turned up and played Paul, you wouldn't be keeping that to yourself would you?

No, do you know what happened is half the pub who have How's he so good at that? So what was I saying? You've got, um, yeah, they talk about you in hushed tones. They do. The time Rob Beckett did it. But yeah, I didn't have to greet, have any of that problem of greeting people who you've not met before, but who you're aware of from the television. So for instance, Gemma Atkinson from Strictly in Hollyoaks, etc. How I've never met before, but obviously I'm aware of. Yes. How am I meant to greet her for the first time?

Yes. It used to be an awkward, an awkward cheek kiss, it would be like, and a bit show busy. Yeah. If she would never do the first. thia. thi. thi. thi. thi. I, thi. I, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, th, th, th, tho, I'm tho, I've tho, I've tho, I've tho, I th, I th, I, I, I, I, I, I I I I, I I I I I I I I, I, I I I I I I I I I I I I, th, th, th, th, th, I I I I I I th th th th th th th th thi, I thi, I've thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thoo. I've tho, tho, th you started joining office, and went, oh, this is Jemmer, she'll be working with you today. You wouldn't go, mwm. You're like, hello, or hand shake. But in tele, everyone starts like getting off with you. No, we're gonna need you to go to HR straight away.

Please, Mr. Becker. Anyway, do you know what? Something's going to have to happen soon though, Josh, because people won't stick to just not doing that. It's just all a bit too awkward teenager. I just think, fist bump, boom, you're done. Elbow's too close. If you do that, you're like about a meter away, fist bump, bang, you're off. That's what Vladimir Clitchco did when I met him, clang. And I was like, why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why that that way that that way that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was just th. I was just th. I was just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. I was. I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, yeah. I was like, why th. I was like, why th. I was like, why thi. I was like, why that way way way way way way. I was like, why that. I'm that. I was like, why, why, like, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why is a th. I'm th. th. th. thi. I was like why are you doing that link because he gets alpha male men trying to squeeze his hand too hard because he's a Right, yeah, boxer and also germs if you do that you don't really touch your face He can wash your eyes so I think fist bumps the way forward because in my view would be that you shouldn't You shouldn't really touch anyone until you kiss them on your wedding day. That is my view and that got you thrown. that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that tho tho tho tho tho the the the that. the the tho the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tho. tho. thu. thu. thoooooooooooooooooooooooo. te. tou. te. th. tho't it? And it was a great get out. It was a great get out when you come home from DeClub with all your guys, all your mates. Yeah, exactly. People are going, the thing about Josh, he's very germphobic.

He's very germphobic. He will not have sex of women for years and years because of the germs, okay? Not because he's chat line involves Championship Manager or Steve Davis Bants. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber 1 for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings.

Not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber one for students, a membership to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. Anyway, let's talk about my holiday, right? Because this has been stressing me out. We were supposed to go away in June to Greece, but that just got cancelled, obviously. And then we decided, right, to go to my wife and away goes northern Spain with her family

to an area. So, and I don't know why I've agreed to this, but I have. We are driving from Southeast London to northern Spain. Oh my God. That is a that is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thuu, th. th. thu, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that. tho, tho, that's, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. We's, th. We're, th. I. I th. th. th. than. the. the. that's thean. We're that's just just just just, thean. that's just just just thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. Oh my God, that is a journey. Oh! So how long is that drive? 12 hours from Calais. So what time's your boat? We're getting a Euro tunnel. Guess what time?

What, like, six a. 5.02 a.m. Far. What? What? What time you're getting up? He can't be there? 45 minutes before the departure. Right? That's a 415th arrival at Folkston. Jesus. It's only 35 minutes in the tunnel.

How far are you from Folkeston without giving away your exactly location? It's about 50 minutes, so it's far, about 50 minutes. So that's not too bad. So we've got to leave about 3.15 a.00.00.00.00.00. three 15. th. to leave about 3.00.00.00.00.00.00.00. to leave about 3.00.00.00.00. to leave about 3.00.00.00. to leave about 3.00.00. to leave about 3. to leave about 3. to leave about 3. to leave about 3.00. to leave about 3. to leave about 3. to leave. to leave. to leave. to leave. to leave. to leave. to leave. to leave. the the to be. the to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. the to be. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th.00.m.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. much so we've got to leave about 315 AM. Are you going to sleep? Well the plan is Lou's going to drive us to the folks to drive us onto the train. Yeah, but I'm going to fright her and now and I don't want to feel sort of stereotypical mad about this. I imagine when he gets to the point we've got to drive on to a train, their their to their to their their to their their to to to their their to drive, to their to drive, their to drive, to drive, to drive, to drive, to drive, to drive, to drive, to drive, Lou will will will will like the easiest, it's just a tunnel. She's a tunnel that will move at a later date. It's just that she will go, you do it. Anyway, so she's gonna drive down there. And once we get to France, I'm driving from there.

So I'm gonna try and sleep on the way down. But then we're stopping halfway between Spain and then carry on driving, I've got to get a roof box. It feels like I've gone up three levels of dad within one conversation. I'm driving two children, a four year old, two to Spain. I've got to get a roof box so that, you know, to put all the stuff in, bikes or whatever. I don't know. Do you take bikes to Spain? I don't be this as a platform now. If anyone has done one of these long drives, help me. Do's and don'ts and don't, horror stories. So that if mine descends into a disaster, I can reread that email and sort of find a bit of joy.

So please email in. Do you think driving is actually, is a better role than being the passenger that has to keep the kids occupied? Do you know what I like the cut of your jib here Josh? I feel positivity from that. But I agree, yes, because Lou will have to be a bit more in charge of snacks where we're stopping on the journey and things like that. And I'm just, I'm a machine. I'm just, I'm just, I'm just going. Slot in. If if that if that's a small, if that's a small, if that's a small, if th. If I'll th. If I'll th. If I'll have, if I'll have, if I'll have a small, if I'll have a small, if I'll have a small, if I'll have a small, if I'll have a small, if I'll have a s- I'll have s- I'll the the their. I'll have a small. I'll have a their, I'll have a their. I'll have a their. I'll have a their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. I'm a the the their. I'm a their. I'm a their. I'm a th. I'm th. I'm t. I'm tap. I'm tap. I'll t. I'll tap. I'll tap. I'll t. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll t. I'll the the the t. I'm just going. I'm just going. Slot in. If that's smash you, I could be there about half-eleven. Should have got a later one, Lou. But yeah, so please email in any horror stories from those drives and any tips. That'd be greatly appreciated.

Because I'm driving to Cornwall. I'm worried about... See, that's a beast. Yeah, but we're going to stop in Devon, I think. But that's not distant, obviously. But basically what we're doing is we're stopping 45 minutes from our destination, which is absolutely absurd, but it's because my parents are in Devi. Yeah, no, I sort of stop. there. Should we stop? the Exeter?

. . . So, to, to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to it's not compared to that. We were thinking about Cornwall but I just think it's going to be too busy. It just gets narrower and narrower than it. Well you just think the people get funneled in. Yeah it all started piping on a cake. And then basically you just you just have to eat Rick Stein. You have to eat that close to each other's face. If you've got anything on the things we've discussed, this is how to get in toucest.

Email us, hello at lockdown parenting.co.Uk. Or we're on Twitter at lockdown parents. Banging guests this week, Josh? Absolutely brilliant. I think this might be my favorite episode we've done so far. It's really funny and also it's really kind of poignant and interesting and... And honest, very honest. Julie's wonderful master chef, loose women, comedian, radio show and she's a, yeah, she's a single mother with a, 11 year old and a 15 year old.

So, yeah, but I'm strapping though, it does get a bit emotional points, but it's well worth it to hear a different side of parenting, I'd say, when you, Josh? Loved it. Loved it. Judy, they love. Hello, Judy, and they. How are you both? You're right. Yeah. We're all right, we're just been having a weird conversation off Mike, me and Judy where Obviously Judy knows how well she's done in Celebrity Master Chef, but I've only watched her get through the first round So I'm telling her not to tell me, but I'm also hoping that she's going to hint that she's won. Oh, you can't do that. I could never do that. I could never do that. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. the. the. that. At the moment you can see I'm a semi-finalist.

So you have to watch, you can have to watch and see what happens next. And you were saying beforehand that you like Greg but you didn't like John at all, that's what you said, wasn't it? Listen, I'm trying to get the job to come back and judge other people's foods, yeah? Don't mess up my shit. Okay? I love them both. You're a woman of many talents though Judy, so Master Chef, you've got a radio show, you do stand up, you're a loose woman, you're a mom of two children. Can you give us a quick outline of your set up at the moment? You're living in South London, aren't you? South London, I've got two children. My daughter just turned 15. So really that's like 25. You know, my the the the the the the the th. You. You. You. You, you. You, you. You, the th. You're the th. the th. th. th. the th. their, th. their, th. their, their their, their their their th. You're th. th. their their their th. You're their their their their their their their their. You're their. You're their. You're their th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's th. I's to to to to to te. I've te. I've te. I've to to to the. I've the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm turned 15, so really that's like 25. You know, my son, she's like the granny of the house, I don't know how.

And my son is 10 going on 11, and they're just, they're so different, but then they've got similarities. The difference is my daughter's probably a little bit more serious, but she can have a little bit of but she can find her own corner just be chilling with herself and be fine and my son he wants constant stimulation. Constant stimulation from Netflix playing a game from having a conversation from a rap battle to a debate. He just is constant. All right. And then if he gets up and no one else is up, oh he's not waking him up on purpose, but he is you know walking up the stairs quite loud, you know, he is like coming in your room. Oh I thought you called me like he's got your energy, Judy, that sort of performer, attention seeking, because I do feel like what you described this, how one could be describing you,

of always loud, busy, engaging stuff. Is that wrong? Maybe, maybe? Maybe, maybe. What's your style of parenting Judy we we just heard you dealing with a delivery and would you say you lead with respect with fear and with personality my style is let's get this shit done yeah all right by eight o'clock I want to be in my bed watching one of my films or something I don't want to see I love you I fed you today I've chared you today I've chatted you today I've chatted you todd I've todd I've todd I've todd I've todd I've todd I've todd I've to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to to their their to their tod tod tod today I today I today I today I today I the today I to the to to the to to to to to to to to to want to be in my bed watching one of my films or something. I don't want to see. I love you. I've fed you today. I've chat with you today.

I've kind of looked at the schoolwork. Just just get by. It's survival mode. And yeah, it's survival mode. to let's just get this shit done. OK. I do. I don't know if they really think I work. I don't know. They see me on TV. They're like, oh yeah, great mom, that's nice. Sometimes I think they just they just freak up,

just this woman who rants and makes noise and they're like, yeah, Judy, love, yeah, it's my mom. I don't know. But what's it like for, you know, your son's 11 and his mom is an officially professional loose woman on tele during the day. So how is that for him at school? Because you know, loose, I mean, is it a bit more oblivious because I don't see it because they're at school but that's quite, loose, that one's still sinking sinking in I think from the kids especially like the teachers and mums when they go to school they might know who I am I I don't think it really sinks into them because if there's no storms on there do you know what I mean there's no day there's no jayhast they're like yeah yeah cool cool cool like they're not so they realize that it's quite known, but none of the subjects really touched them

unless I mention their name. And then it's a battle of, oh, why did you mention my sister's name, but he didn't mention mine. Yeah, because normally it's just like Michael Bull flogging a new album, isn't it? Which is not gonna hit through to 11 Oh, did you, mom? Yeah, cool. I try to engage you, I'm like, I say to my daughter, look at my eyelashes, babes. They're not really good today because you did them and, you know what I mean? Talking about, you know, women and, and it's how hard it is and how hard it is and it's how it, she's just, she's, they were younger then? Because did you did you raise them on your own?

Yes, is that right? Yes, I've raised them. So you're a single parent from baby? From young, you know, they've got the same dad. We've spent out for years now when my son was like newborn. I probably was, yeah, maybe even for pregnancy, you might as well say. And so I've constantly been that single parent. And sometimes, you know, the person can almost be there, but you're still the single parent, you know, when you think of decisions and things

that have to be made, you're the person. So I think because I grew up at the single parent home, I think I've grew up in the age group, especially their their their th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I thi, I've thi, I've thathea, I've thathea, I've threatha, I've thathea, I've threatha, I've threatha, I've threatha, I've threatha, I've, I've, I've, I've, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, that, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, tho, thoomomoomoomoomorrow, I'm, I'm nota, I'm not..a, I'm not. And, I'm not. thoeses, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I think I grew up in the age group, especially to West Indian coach. You don't ask your parents nothing. Yeah, you don't ask them, why is this happening? Or you just be in a room and be quiet. So I've kind of taken on a row where I have conversations with my kids, you know, a lot. Look, this is what's happening. How do you feel? you feel? What's going on? I have really quite open conversations with th. You th th th their nothing nothing nothing their th their th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thathings nothing. You that nothing that nothing that nothing that nothing that nothing that nothing thathings. You thathings. You thathings. You don't their that. You don't that. You don't that. You don't that. You don't that. You that. You that. You that. You th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I to th. I to that. I that. I to to that. I that. I that. I that. I thatea. I thatea. I thatea. I thatea. I thatea. I'm thatea. I'm thatea. I'm to your dad this week, how do you feel, what's going on? I have really quite open conversations with them. I think my daughter finds it annoying. She does, but I don't. She finds it. So do you try and talk to them about like, did you find that, you totally comfortable talking to your 15-year-old daughter about, you know, boyfriends and what she's and all that kind th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that is that is that is that. thathea thathea, thathea, thathea, th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that that, that that that that that that, that, that, he's up to and all that kind of thing.

Yes, my mom, I grew up at my mom, she would be like, no boyfriends, them just gonna want to to try and to try and that in English, it means they're just gonna want to have sex, but her word was dig you out. That was her. Dig you out. That's a graphic image. That's what? Like a fucking highway maintenance worker. That's you. Right. Treating it like it's tarmacin, fuck it out.

From your mom? And depend on what, depend on what kind of person you are, you might actually find that line quite intriguing. Yeah. I'm gonna treath the fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking the fucking that, fucking that, fucking that, fucking that, fucking that, fucking that, fucking that, fucking that, fucking that, fucking that, fucking that, fucking that, fucking that, fucking that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, oh, oh, oh, oh, that, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's actually find that line quite intriguing yeah I'm gonna treat you like HS2 baby I'm gonna open thing and dig you out my dick's gonna be like a shovel yeah oh shovel dick's turned up oh shovel dick's turned up yeah oh again you know I mean don't say that shovel dick you might not have a job but he's got a shovel dick, you know what I mean?

So, could I just ask, was it just your mom's phrase? Or is everyone saying dig, dig you out? I don't think, I think there's a few people that might use the term, and it's a very vulgar term, but I think it's in the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thermermerme thi's in thi's in thum v v v v v v v v v v v v vulgare v vulgare, termeroguoom v vulgar term, termo termen, termen, termen, termen, termen, tool termen, termen, terme is very terme, terme, terme, terme, terme, terme, terme, terme, term....... term. term. term. terms, terms, terms, terms terms, terms, terms, terms, terms, to, to, tool, to, tool, to, toooo, tooooooooooooooooooo, term, t's more context to it, you know, there's more layers to it. It's more about not just the physical, but it's the emotional and mental analogy behind it in the sense of having no respect for you and just, you know. Yeah, because digging someone out, the term I was like taking the Mickey out of them or being horrible. If someone's digging you out, you guys going, they were digging me out for my outfit and stuff, not that time. So I think it maybe just the message was maybe, just disrespect, was it just disrespect you?

Yeah, I think they, yeah, just like disrespect, you know, have sex with you and leave you and haven't got no, you know, feelings for you, you've got to be careful with that. So I've kind of taken a different kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to kind of to to to to to kind of, to be kind of, to be kind of, to be kind of, to be kind of, to be kind of, to be kind, to be kind of, to be, to be kind, to be kind, to be kind, to be to be to be to be, to be, to be, their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their a different tone, you know? Yeah. Was that conscious decision then that you thought, well, I didn't really get what I needed. I had questions about dating or growing up and stuff like that. But I didn't really get the chance to speak to our mom about. Was it a conscious decision to rely on your aroach for your daughter? Yeah, I think so, we used to talk with my mom, we used to laugh and she just say, because she was older, say the most hilarious things, but I still think like in this day and

I think I've got to come with a little bit of a different angle. I find these kids have got so much other kind of areas where they can hide information. So I feel like I have to kind to their their of, you know what I mean? There's so much different apps, there's so much different people that are, their reach of speaking to people is just so wide. So I thought, you know what, let me just try and I work to both of their different personalities. My daughter's more the one that will cringe and not want to hear it. And my son, he's open, he knows every, he knows, he knows, he's the answer, he's open, he's open, he's open, he's the answer, he's open, he's the answer, he's to, he's to, he's to, he's to, he's the, he's the, he's the, he's the, he's the, he's the, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's the, he's, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,, he's the air. Oh, well, he wants to ask questions and he wants the answers. My son's a kind of kid where he knows the answers already,

especially if it's quite a uncomfortable question, but he will still ask you just to see you embarrassed. Oh, really? Oh, what kind of things is he asked? He'll just be like, oh, you know, so labor was really hard. I heard there was a thing called tearing. What is that, Mum? My God, that bloody out. I only heard that three years ago. Yeah.

Yeah, well, this is what I'm saying. That he would ask, I don't know if he's asked that specific question, but that in a kind of under, he will ask a real deep where you're like, what the hell? like a real deep where you're like, what the hell? Are you, are you, are you, do you ever double down and try and embarrass him back? No, this kid, you ever tried that as an option? No, this kid's different man. He's got, he, I swear down, he's a different, he's a different, he's a different breed. He really is. And so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange children that are so different in the house. This, you know the little one? He can debate, he would debate your ass off.

You will sit there and question your life. Like really, I'm arguing, not having a debate with a 10-year-old. So I just try to encourage him and be like, yeah, I'd be like, you know what's something? You could get into politics or could be a lawyer, you know, because you really like to challenge and put forward to your opinions. And yeah, I think it's a school he goes to very, they really encourage the kids to have opinions. God, that's the, I am absolutely avoiding that school. I can tell you that for free. They're great, they are quite great, but he definitely, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was on, he was on, he was on, he was on, he was on, he was on, he was on, he was on, he was on, he was on, he was on, he was on, he was on, he was on, he was on, he was on, he, he was on the council board at the school because I you know he's a young black boy and I felt like I wanted him to do

something more than he's quite great at sports as well but and maths but I really wanted him to venture into another area because I feel like young black boys always put in the areas of sports so that's why I put him in there and it seems like I was bloody right because this kid can chat. That's great. It's interesting though because it does feel like you make conscious decisions about how you're talking to your daughter and how you want your son to sort of learn and be educated. Just from the way you was brought up and stuff like that. Is that something just happened naturally or was it a conscious decision? I think because I think it definitely is a conscious decision.

I think, you know, because I am a single parent and you know, I'm not in a relationship with their dad and, you know, I felt like I am really for my son, I really wanted him to understand like women's rights and how you make someone feel, especially a woman if he, you know, grows up to date, women. Like I want him to understand how you consciously make someone feel, you know, his role as a man, him thinking about relationships, because I think it's important. I think we're at a time where so much stuff has happened around relationships, consent and sexism and all these different areas. I think it's really important for us as moms who have sons to educate them because I think that's

what's needed. I think the boys need educating. We always we always down on the girls oh Oh, you know, you know, you know, don't wear too much of a short skirt and don't do this and don't do that and, you know, don't date too much and oh gosh, you've had lots of kids, it'll be hard. I remember having my two kids and a family member said put on a woman, but maybe we need to have a conversation with our sons Like some you know if you if you go to hug somebody especially a girl and you need to you need to know you know, you know, how are you? You know, how are you? You know, how are you? You know, how you feel in? You know, you know, mom's not feeling good today, got a period, you know, just tell him straight. That's the older generation thing though as well, where your mom would say, don't, don't go there because a boy will do that. Not boys need to be told off for doing that. It was almost your

fault for getting with a boy, because you know what theythe women to avoid men because that's what men do. Not the message really should have been, you shouldn't treat women like that. Not you're an idiot for getting involved. It's not your fault that they're being dicks. You know, so that. How was it when they were younger as well? Because obviously now they're older and you've got tour next year and stuff. What was it like when they were younger and stuff? How was that when they were little like toddlers? I think the other day I was just reflecting back on when they were toddlers and I just was like, I felt quite emotional and overwhelmed because I remember days I really struggled. I struggled, you know, being a single

parent on your own. There's different, different things. The routine, financially, the emotional support, the physical support, childcare, always had the child care problem. And it was just, it was just like, wow, it was just, it was such a heavy period. And I had a sick mom at the time as well. She had dementia and she'd had quite a few strokes. So it was just like, it was quite a dark place in the sense of, yeah, definitely was depressed. But it was, you know, those areas, you know, not having the partner and not having my mom who was well, you know,

I think for women when they have kids, is that mom that kind of support. so not having those those those those those those those those those those those those those tho tho the main the main the main the main the main the main the main the main their their their their they have kids it's that mom that gives them that kind of support. So not having those main characters and support networks in your life when I had the two kids was really hard. It was definitely really hard, especially, you know, once I had the two of them. I think the hardest period is once my son was born. Yeah, that because my son was born and then, I think my mom my mom my mom my mom my mom my mom my mom my mom my mom my mom my mom my mom my mom my mom my mom my mom my mom my mom my mom my mom my mom. My mom. My mom my mom. My mom. My mom my mom. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I think. I t. I t. I t. I think. I t. I was. I was, t. I was. I was born and then I think my mom died maybe about five weeks after, no no, five weeks before he was born. Oh, that's so tough. So I was like, yeah, eight months pregnant and my mom died and I, she would have been cared for her since I was about four months.

So it was really, it was a very, very difficult time. And after that, it was just like, it just seemed like I was in this, this bubble, this bubble, this bubble, this bubble, this bubble, this bubble, this bubble, this bubble, th., th and after that it was just like it just it just seemed like I was in this this bubble if it was so gray I love the babies oh I tell you what the kids though it they definitely are the one that got me through the kids and the laughter and that's probably what pushed me into comedy so it's just trying to I think there's so much pressure on them that expectation from people that you just you know you've you've th th th th had th had th had th had had had th had had had had had had had had had had had had had had th had had th had th had th had th had th had th had th had th had th had th had th had th had a th had a th had th had th had th had th had a that that that th th th th th th th th tho tho tho. tho. that that that that that that th th th that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's so much pressure on that expectation for people that you just, you know, you've had a child, you just know how to be a mom. And sometimes it's not always like that. It's actually a learning curve.

Say for the dads that you learn on the job, but you're learning on the job to something that's going to be an adult one day that contributes to society. It's a really big job. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? If you're in a 9 to 5 and you make a little job and I teach, you've got something else to call, you've got a HR or so on, but if you make an issue and a mistake in the child's life, you're not going to know how well you've done until child's an adult.

Yeah, of course. Did you have thi to to to to to to to the to to the to to to their to to their to to their to have their to have to to their to to to to their to to to to to to to to to know, did you have any techniques to cope with it or did you just kind of head down and you just had to get through it kind of thing? I think my way of coping was definitely like laughter, finding some kind of spiritual, something to engage in spiritually, like motivational speaking and and and finding people that kind of resonated with how I was feeling. To be honest with you, especially as a black female, you know, there's this real emphasis on being strong. So I think there was a period I was definitely very, I was very scared to like say to friends and family, I don't feel

good or I'm feeling really sad or I've cried for like three days. It'd be like, come on man, you're strong, man, you're strong, you know, that's a, and then I started to think strong, strong kind of made my mom sick. She did so much, she was so powerful, she was so, like how much other women are, and just people, and people women women women women women women women women, their, their, their, the..... their, the, the, th. I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I'm, thi, I'm, I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, th. I, th. I, th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm thi. thi. I'm thi. I'm feeling, thi. I'm, thi. I'm feeling, thi. I'm feeling, I'm people, not just women and all backgrounds are going through this, I've just got to get on, I've just got to get on, and then I was just one day I was like, soddy, I'm just going to text all my family and friends and say, listen, I love you but I need a break and I think I'm depressed. There we go. And that was it, and that was it. the thoun. And th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. And th. And th. And th, and th, and th, and their to to to to to to to to to to to th. their to to to to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just just just to just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just to just just to just just th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. to, I, I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was just, I was just, I was, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, and the? It was a very tough message to send it really was because you have to you to allow yourself to be that vulnerable and just

just sitting there waiting I remember I was I was in my bedroom at my old flat and even where I lived I had so much problems. I was living in a flat and there was like damp and it was affecting my son's health. You know my son he ended up in intensive care. My neighbor's husband died in my hands. You know there was people coming in. You know, there was people coming in. You know I worked as a youth working area and there was people coming in who You know, I worked as a youth work in the area and there was people coming in who was doing drugs and vandalizing the place. I had people put, oh, feces at my door,

oil in the, it was absolute, so I was fighting all that, trying to work, try to support the kids, try to make home seem nice even though outside was crap, you know, dealing with grief, a breakup, it was just so much and then it was just like, no, I'm actually not happy. I tell you what it was, I saw my daughter had this, you know, the V-tech little mini computer things, like when they're two-year-old and it's just like a fake one, but she can record it. And she must have been doing something recording and she'd recorded me and I just watched it and I was walking so slowly and

I thought oh that does not, I don't look, I look sad and it was just that one word sad and I thought no, no, forget this I need to get myself together so I can get someone to dig me out. So I just... How was the reaction to the text though, Judy? People text back and like look after you and step up and they were oblivious to how you were feeling until you said. I think some were shocked to how I'm feeling, and then I think what's funny is you've got some some who they they they they they they they they they are they they are they are they they they they are they they they they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were some some who they were they were they were they were they were some some some some who they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some who they were they were not they were where they are oblivious to how you were feeling until you said. I think some were shocked at how I'm feeling and then I think what's funny is you've got some who are the same but they will not break that strong woman mold like because if they

they break if they like are too empathetic then they're gonna have to deal with their own stuff that they're going to go through do that. And so I saw I saw that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're that that that that that that that that to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that to they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to they th. th. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. to the. I the. that that that that that that that that that that saw that in some people, and some people's like, you're so brave, like, you know, I just so respect you for doing that and da da da da da, and we're here for you. And then you kind of sit down and think about all the things you went through and got through. And you're like, yeah, I really went through that as well. So how old were the kids? How old were the kids, how old were the kids when you sent that message and it got too much?

And you were struggling. I think my daughter must have been about four and a half, five and my son must have been about five months because when he was ten. 10 months I went away I went to Barbados so it's got to be just before 10 months because I literally after about two months I said I've got to go away I said you can either not have the kids now or have them for a longer period when I need to get what's up to you bitch I need to get away again again now for ever and about another six right right it's up to you two weeks now forever and about another six months. Right, it's up to you. I didn't send the bitch bit at the end of the tech, but that's what I meant. Okay. Why was your career at this point as well then had you started doing any of this radio or comedy or was you just

you know what? I was doing youth work and even youth work was so challenging I was begging them. I was begging to to cut my manager to cut my to cut my to cut my to cut my to cut my to cut my to part part part part part part part part part part part part part part part part part part part part part part part part part part to to to to to the the their. I was their. I was. I was their. I was. I was. I was. I was to be to be. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. to. You. I was. You. You. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was doing youth work and even youth work was so challenging I was begging them. I was begging crying to manage that I needed to cut my hours down to part-time because I can't manage the kids and what I was doing as well was working and then there was like if your kids go to school nursery is free and then you go private nursery you pay for that bit. I didn't have enough. So I was instead of having a lunch break, I agreed to like work from 9 to like 1130. I would stop work, run and go and collect my son from private nursery to school nursery, then finish from there, come back, I'll tell you what, it was madness, and then come back for three hours and then have another like 15 minute break to run back to pick him up to take him to like private

nurses so I'll basically so I could cut down how much I was I was paying because I couldn't afford it. So yeah, yeah. How do you go from this Judy? You've had, you know the two kids? You've had depression, post-nettle depression, you've lost the the their th. th. their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thii's thoed. tho's tho's tho's tho's thi's tho's tho's tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. thea toea toeea toeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeean. I's toeeeean. I's toea kids you've had depression post-natal depression you've lost your mom there's been other other experiences of grief and you've had to text your friends saying you know not coping and all this tough stuff you went through at what point did you go what I fancy doing stand up comedy I mean what the hell did I have to laugh at I think you know what it what I think it was like, so like West Indians, we, especially Jamaicans, we can laugh at anything.

Like, when my mom passed away, and I had to go in a viewer in her casket, yeah, I was big, barely pregnant. I literally broke up with my kid's dad and my mom died all in like the same week. And we went to the funeral. I'm laughing because it's just so much. Went to the funeral home. From the funeral home, I was like,

I started to have like, like panic attack, but I'm the loud cryer in the family. So that's not a shock to me by the other by by by by by by by by by th. I th. loud cryer in the family. So that's not a shock to me by the way. I think I would have assumed that. You know me well, babe. So I'm the one that the rest of family will phone each other first and say we've got to tell Judy and they'll be like, okay, I'll drive there. You stand behind her. I'll stand to the left and then we tell her. So they like, like they. They're they're they're they're. They prepare. They prepare. They prepare. They prepare. They prepare. They prepare. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. They're. the. I'm the loud choir. So from when we was going, I was with my sister, she was going, jeez, you're right, and I was like, yeah, I'm going to be, I'm fine, I'm fine. Literally, there was this lady. My sister, another family member, we walked in that room and I just remember this screaming noise and I realized, that's me.

That's me. And it's rolling on the floor and the poor woman, the poor woman, the poor woman, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the poor woman woman woman, this little this little this rolling on the floor and the poor woman, like this little slim, petite white lady was she just had this eight in stones pregnant mama on top of her like almost begging her to carry me out. And although it was, and there was people came in to obviously view their family and the way they saw me screaming, they ran back out, yeah? But the thing is, is that in the mix of that, like by a couple of days later, it was the family joke.

Like we'd be phoning a cousin, oh, yeah, Ginny, did you say she pan the floor. She pan, big, yeah, boy, the mother would laugh. And, and the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they they they they ran, they ran, they ran, they ran, they ran, they they ran, they ran, they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they, they they, they they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they they they they they they they they th. We're than, than, than, than, than, than, thin, than, thee ran, they ran, they ran, they ran, they ran, they ran, they ran, they they the floor, like we just a laugh about. She pan on a big belly row lad, girl, their mother would laugh and, and thinking about it, I know my mom would laugh and we, this is just our thing of coping, I think, in a lot of the black community, to try and get through like emotional trauma. So I think because some of the hardest things I've been through, culturally for me, I can't say for everybody, but within my family, we still laughed through it. So I think I started to realize, oh, this is a natural thing,

but I started to realize everybody laughed with me or it made them laugh, it made them feel comfortable. And it made, it brought a feeling of healing for me and I thought hmm I might have to try this on stage maybe this is what you know I think when you go for a stage where you feel like you've lost everything which I would I don't regret going through that it took me in a place where I had to say well who the hell am I like I've been Judy with a sick mom since I was like 10 years old I'm now Judy a a single parent, the broken relationship,

the mom's not here, like who the hell am I now and what do I really, what do I really want to do in my life? Because life, you can see, you can see it, you can try and be happy, or you can just let all these things take over. And because I was in that place where I felt like I had nothing left apart from these two beautiful children. I just said, Soddick, let's try and make people laugh. Amazing. Do you feel like kind of a different person now? Like, do you feel like you're a different Judy? Or do you feel like you're just kind of in a better place with it all? I feel like I am like Judy, but I understand myself much more, and I don't feel disconnected from what I've

been through because I think it's definitely maybe the person I am. But I do sit down sometime and think like, you know, I just like give thanks in the sense of feeling like I've come through that stage. It was a chapter. It felt like a very, very, very long chapter. But I just, I just, I still feel like I'm me. I'm just grateful to be in a different chapter. That's what it is, I think.

That's what I think. What would you say to someone, if someone's listening to this, going, God, I think that sounds like what I'm going through. What would your kind of advice be to them? Oh, oh them, oh them, oh them, oh th you, tho, tho, tho, their tho, tho, their tho, tho, tho, their, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm tho, I'm tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, tha, tho, your kind of advice be to them? Oh, without crying, I'd say to them, let it go. Just let it all go. I mean, I think the hardest thing is we walk on this earth with so much pretense. I'm telling you, there is hundreds, thousands of people that you know you speak to or they come to work, but that morning they have been on their face. I mean like in tears questioning their life, questioning love, questioning all kind of things, dealing with things from childhood,

but they come into work or you speak, saying, oh hi, you're right. And there's so much of a, like pain underneath. And I think, you need to let go, you need to find that safe that safe that safe that safe that safe that safe that safe that safe that safe that safe that safe that safe that safe that safe that safe that safe that safe that safe that safe to find that safe place, find things that kind of bring you some kind of peace, find that person that you can have that conversation with and don't let other people's expectations stop you from healing like stop you from talking your truth or being your real self because that's what the problem is the expectation of everybody sees me this this strong person, oh my God, you know, I'm the pilot provides, I've got to do this.

It stops you from actually saying to people, I don't, I'm not feeling that well at the moment. And if you don't stop, you're only going to get worse. Where do you think you'd thin your life their their their life their life their life that be your turning point, do you think? And if there's anyone listening to this that's hovering over that send button to sort of ask that. I think because there's so much access to stuff, the kind of things I was reading and getting myself involved, it would have come to a stage where maybe it would have been something else

or spoke to somebody else. But I think think think think think think thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, you, you, you, you, you, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, you their, you, their, their, you their, their, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that the more things you hold into, it affects you physically. So I think, you know, when I look at family history and stuff, my worries would have been that if it didn't affect me emotionally, it would affect me physically, you know. I always had that in the back of my mind regards to, you know, I saw my mom young, sick from a young age. And those are other fears that was in my mind. So I think at some stage I would have been like,

I need to find something to deal with this feeling. And the friends and family that I have around me, I personally think some of them would have been like, no, what's going on? Because I remember I had one particular friend, and she came to my house one day she was like, what else going on? Why's your house like this? I'm not happy, I've got friends that will tell you about yourself. So I think at some stage they would have been, there's only so long I would have been able to be like, oh baby's yeah, no, I was going to come around to him, I can't come around babes or like, oh no, I left my phone in the bedroom, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. Oh, I've th. Oh, I've th. Oh, I've th. Yeah, I've th. Yeah, I've th. Yeah, I've th. th. th. I've that, I've to to to to to to to to to to to th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've that, I've thin, I've that, I've that thrown the to the told told to to to tell, I've to to to to the the that that, I've that, I've that or I'll go and busy this weekend. They would have been like we're coming to your house. Yeah, they would have made their own intervention.

I tell you something we have traveled a long way since we were discussing having sex with a man with a dick like a spade, haven't we? I'm telling you, babes. This is what I'm saying. It's a more serious episode than normal, but either we can redo another one. No, it's the best one we've ever done. Yeah, it's unbelievable. It's an unbelievable story, Judy. You should be so proud of your journey and what you've done. It's incredible. And I think everyone listening will be inspired by what you've been through. But, I mean, on a personal level, the spade dick was absolutely incredible. Judy, it's been an absolute pleasure talking to you.

Thank you so much. You're both the most inspiring and the most graphic person we've spoken to. And I mean that as two of the biggest compliments I've ever given. Thank you, babes, you know, obviously, you know, trying to live our best life out here. And I just, just be yourself. I think that's another thing I realized. I can't do anything else, babes. I can't be upset. Thanks, Judy.

Thanks, Judy. Thanks, Judy. Thank you. That was, thanks, Judy, love. Oh, I got a bit upset. I think my voice broke and I was trying to ask her a question I'll play through. And then because it was so moving and like passionate and like inspiring, I felt so much pressure on like, one I think would have to say anything disrespectful, like if it was trying to go for fun and also it just went, because it meant so much. I was just thought every, I was like, oh my God, I was like, oh my God, you've like, I was like, you you, you you, I was like, you that, you that, I was like, you that, you that, you that, I was like, you' that, I was like, I was like, you' that, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, oh, I was like, oh, I was like, oh, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm, I'm, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like. It's difficult. Because someone's, you're like, it's so like moving and you're like, oh my god, I forgot that I'm interviewing someone. I just felt like I was listening to her.

And then I was like, I am going to need to ask another question at the end of this. Yeah. And all I can think about is I am of people feel like that, but when you get qualified at something if you engage in it, if you go, I don't hear about it and tap out, imagine that in the podcast, I don't hear about that, just tell me about time when they fell overnight at knee. Come on, you've got to have a story about stepping in a shit haven't you? Come on, man. Come on, yeah. Yeah, oh my God. But I thought it was really good because there must be people listen to this. And if you are listening to this, you're having a difficult time and stuff, they definitely reach out and speak to people because, you know, people do want to help.

It's just I think people get a bit embarrassed and worried. Particularly at this time, I think it I do lockdown, da da da. And now people are trying to reestablish their life, but kind of with these rules and stuff, I think it's kind of a difficult, really difficult period for people. Because I just don't know what I should be doing or not be doing. Like, you feel like you should just, don't I want to hide away forever, but then their stuff. I'm like like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th causing a problem? But then I'm like I need to be supporting the local economy. I've got to go out and buy a birthday card. Yeah these three pounds socks that were made in China nine years ago. They need to be bought. So thank you to Judy. It was brilliant. We should say we've been trying to get Judy on for about two months. I'll be honest th th th th th to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to go. to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to to go. to to to to to to th. th. th. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. thi. they. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to go. to the. to to the. to to the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. I'll be honest with you. I tapped out after the fifth attempt and I thought it's too much effort for this.

It's too much, it's too difficult, it's not going to be worth it and then, do you know what, it surpassed any expectations and I'm so glad we stuck with it. Judy has been, um, she's been desperately trying to get on. To be fair, her laptop broke and then we sent her the wrong mic and then there was a mix-up with times and all kind of stuff like that. So it's just... It wasn't all her fault, but I would say there's a strong 80-20 split. Do you know? None of us are angels in it, but weigh. we will be going through some more of your correspondence. We'll be talking about my week

and that's about it really, isn't it? Yeah, my daughter will have graduated. She will have graduated from preschool so we can talk all about. Love the Al. Gap year summer. I think she's going to go Thailand on her own Pouquet. Thank you for listening. We will see on Friday. Bye.