Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S01 EP28: Snail-ma-geddon

Episode Date: July 31, 2020

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' - S01 EP28; Snail-ma-geddonMore misadventures in parenting from Josh and Rob. Find out more about the great range of school uniform available from F&F at Tesco here: https://bit.ly/BackToSchoolPC Available in selected larger stores. Subject to availability. Excludes Next.Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parenting(And the NikNak account is @penrosehouse #niknaksafety)A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Looking for a collaborator for your career, a strong ally to support your next level success, you will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue. York you.C.A. I'm going back to University for zero-dollar delivery fee, up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cash back on rides, not whatever you university is for get Uber won for students with deals this good everyone wants to be a student joined for just 499 a month savings may vary eligibility and member terms apply hello I'm Josh Whitakam welcome to

lockdown parenting hell the show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to to be a parent during lockdown which I would say can be a little tricky. So in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation. And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. Hello and welcome to lockdown parent in hell with... Say Josh Whittakke. Say Josh Whidacom.

Josh Whedding. And say Rob Beckett. Oh lovely. That's nice. She sounded surprised by your name as if she's gone. Oh, those two together. Oh, those two together? Oh, that's a good parent. Oh, I did find kids. Oh oh I'm more excited to say my name than yours. Yours frozen a bit.

Widdacum. Beckin. But and k'k. Must be fun for them. But and k'k'er when you're a kid. But k'k. You're the key players when you're kid, you're not good. That is from Stuart Sellers. Oh, that SS? A punctionate, isn't it? Yeah, it was.

From Hamburg! And she is our daughters who are five and this is our youngest Penelope who turns three this week. I love the name Penelope. I think it's a great name Penny. I used to play of O'Penny as a kid. You are. It was basically Plainill for girls in the 80s. And I know the toys aren't gendered. But they were in the 80s.

Really, the hardcore gendered. But Penny's lovely, and thank you, Penny. Well, Josh, how have you been? What's happening in your world? How is your daughter? Well, I can't believe this. drop both her nap so her naps gone twice a week okay it was every day wouldn't it yes so we lost five of them a week I'd say oh a couple of days a week she'll be so tired that she'll still relapse

I have to fall off the wagon with naps yeah yeah she's been given the all clear yeah yeah she's given the all clip but she's stopped watching television just completely lost interest like I know young people don't watch telly but like she's not she's on Minecraft she's not gonna I think the days of scheduling are over yeah like she's stopped so you'll go do you want to watch the clangers not a bite so so now so now the days are just. So now the days are just endless. It's not endless. It's not the days is just. I's. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. She's the th. She's the the the th. She's stopped. She's stopped. She's stopped. She's stopped. She's stopped. She's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th is th is th is the is te's te's te's te's te's te's te's te's the's stopped. the's stopped. It's stopped. It's stopped. She's stopped. She's the's the's the think the days of scheduling are over. Like she's stopped, so you'll go, do you want to watch the clangers? Not a bite. So now the days are just endless. Because there's no moment when she's not doing something.

Well, the drop in the nap's good, because you can go out for the day. Where before, you don't want to go out for the day, because you want to rush back. Yeah, exactly. And that finishes and it's too loud. So what tell are on offer for her like anything? You'll just be throwing any thing? Have you the apps as well? Was it just see babies or like what was on Sky or? Yeah, well we've got all the like Netflix and stuff.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's not a taste thee. So she's got all the options. And then she just won't watch any of them. But then on Saturday we had a babysitter who stayed over so that we could have a lion after going out. Oh lovely. And came down and she, Javi, the babysitter, she'd managed to get. Javi, I mean not picked up much work since Barcelona. She's great though Javi because she just managed to find space and like, she's always there. She's always opened, but you know, exactly.

100% meal completion, right? Yeah. But they were watching a Bug's Life. Yeah. And then, um, I think it was a bit old for her. Because she was watching it like it was a bit like a slasher movie. Like, she looked scared. And then the moment, George Grasshop is scary though. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi, thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the Yeah. In Bug's life, oh my days, they are. But she was watching it. Yeah. But she'd take, even if it's because she can't move because she's petrified. I take that. Keep her quiet. And then the moment Javey left she just walked away. So it's like she, I don't know what it is. I don't know what to do. I'm now having having having having having having having having having having having having having having having having having having having having having having having having having having having the opposite the opposite the opposite the opposite the tele acty actually. I just read, she's stuck up. She's you know what she is. She's that liberally. She's sitting there, ivory towel, no TV. She doesn't understand the common man. What's wrong with her? What's wrong with Catch-Race? Mr. Chip, say what you see? Anyway, that's been my week. How's your week? Well, that's a th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's that's the that's that's that's the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's a that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that that that. that that. that that. that. that that that. that that that. that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the they. the the the the the they. the the the the that's that that that's that that that that that that. that that that that that's been my week. How's your week? Well, big news this week. Big news. We put a call out for your help,

and I want to say thank you, the, it's an unprecedented amount of emails. Do you want me to, do you want to hear the advice or do you want to tell us what the situation? Well, the situation is, we were supposed to be driving to to be family family family family family family. because of COVID because of no flights, blah blah blah blah blah. However, last week we decided to cancel the holiday because we was only going to lose like 90 pounds or something in I think we can even get that back so we wouldn't have lost any money because the balance was all due. Luckily we did cancel it because we

had a cold feet about or what if it rises again so the news about Spain but but Spain is now on the quarantine list yeah so we couldn't have gone because I wanted around to work when I got back. Yeah. And also now, because I said it on here, I could even sneak it back. Everyone knows I've been. I'm asking for advice. So I couldn't even cut anybody. Wait a minute. Are you going to northern Spain? Is this your cover story? Yeah. Probably. It's on loose it with? Two days camping in Kent. Oh my God. Kill me. You live in Kent? I know! See why are you camping? That's where you live? I think I was so totally. Just a worse version of your life. I'm not. I grew up in a terraced house. Yeah. But I'm not. I grew up in a terraced house. Yeah. I grew up in a terrace house. Yeah. I'm a their. I their. I their. I the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I grew th. I grew th. I grew th. I grew th. I grew the t. I grew t. I grew up t. I grew up t. I grew t. I grew t. I grew t. I grew up t. I grew up t. I grew up t. I grew up t. I grew up the the the t. I grew up. I grew up t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. t. t. t. te. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. t. t. hours, like I'm used to sleeping near people that

stink as shit. I don't want to do it an holiday, right? However, my wife lose, bit my middle class, think it'll be great, all her mates are going. I'm, to be fair though, I'd like to do two days because the kids will love it. They'll absolutely love it, it, and then we can just put them into bed and then all the grown grown grown grown grown grown grown grown grown grown grown grown grown grown grown grown grown grown grown grown grown grown grown grown grown grown grown grown grown grown grown grown grown grown grown, all the grown grown grown grown grown grown, and the grown-ups can sit around the campfire, get drunk. You don't have to worry about babysitters, there's only one place and you can enjoy it. Right? So we've done all that, but I'd still think the advice for a long drive will help because now it's on you, Josh,

because you're driving for seven hours to Cornwall. Well, do you know what, in the last 48 hours I've read these emails, that's become more and more penciled. Well then we've got a situation where I've actually toyed with this as I said to Rose, because it's a long drive if we do it, why don't you and my daughter get the train and then I'll pick you up from the station because she'll have a much better time. So you, she could get the train, say to Devon. I can't work out who's got the better deal. I think it might be you. It might. But Rose can't drive so my hands are tied. Yeah. So where were you drop them at like, you'll drop them at like the main waterloo? Yeah, Paddington. I wouldn't be able to do that bit either because I'd need to go ahead because it takes so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much much much much much much much so much much much much so much to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. tha. tha. tha. t takes so much longer to drive. You know, so Rose your daughter are going to have to get from East Under Dependent, which is, I'd say, an asshole of a German.

No, no, no, don't, they can get a black cab. Okay, so yeah, so yeah, so gonna get a black cab, 40 minutes? Yes, yeah. So they're already doing quite a lot of driving. It's. Yeah, as long as they're not paying. And I say that my dad is a black cab driver, okay? Even a two-year-old is watching that money go because that is fast. That is fast. They're going to go to Pattonton and a cab. Then what's the train journey to Cornwall? Well I'd meet them in Devon because you're going to stay with family. Yeah, yeah, about about the their their their their their their. So, their their. So, their their their. So, I th. So, I th. So, I th. So, I th. So, I's th. So, I's th. So, I's th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, thea. And, even, even thea. And, even the. And, even the. And, even the. And, yeah. So that's about three, four hours on the... No, it's only two hours and a half. Two and a half hours.

Do you know what I think that's a good idea? And the drive is four hours. But it's expensive though, because you're having to pay for petrol and for train tickets. Yeah, but I'm willing to music and podcasts on my own for four hours so be it. Can I come with you? No, someone is sitting. And I'll just get, I'll just train back. Okay so that's your, because, that's a, no, that, I would say, to say that's the plan, uh, would imply that I've managed to push that through. Okay, so Rose is still showing. She certainly not said no out of a tha. Because th. Because th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. to thi. to to to thi. thi. to to to to to th. th. I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'll. I. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the car out of a trip to the knickknack shop?

So you can buy six dangerous knickknacks? Just think, not only have you got boots-faced with knickknacks, you've got four seats. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. So, here's some news from people who've made these journeys and how bad it is. This is from Stephanie Lyons. I have thia thia th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. th. th. to th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. thi. thi. toe. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. So, th. th. So, th. So, th. th. So, th. th. th. th. th. She is still th. She is still th. She is still th. She's is th. She's is thi. She's is the. It is the. the. thea. thea. Wea. It's thea. It's thea. It's toooooooooooooooooooooooes. Yeah. This is from Stephanie Lyons. I have no advice but have a cautionary tale. My parents stay in the south of France for several weeks every summer, and one year my husband and I decided it be a good idea

to drive though with my five-year-old son and four-year-old daughter. The plan was we've made the journey, part of the same track here. The old split it up. They'll split it up, they'll love the ferry. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, they'll sleep. Wow, wow. About an hour into the journey became clear that our son was car sick. Oh no. He'd never shown signs before so we hope this was just a bit of over excitement. So we stopped at the lengthy break, lots of fresh the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. they're they'll th. T the. They'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll sleep they'll sleep they'll sleep they'll sleep they'll sleep. They'll sleep. They'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll s s s s they're s they're s they're s the. they're s thea. thea' theat. they'll sleep they'll sleep they'll sleep they'll sleep they'll sleep they'll sleep they'll sleep on the road again. I got to say that I've been in France yet? No, we live in the north of England. And they're going to port from Portsmouth. Oh, that's a dog of a journey. That's a that is like news report worthy of like Newcastle fans to their today for the

game. If they lost, it'd be one their their their their their their their their they're, it would be one of those ones where the managers said that they were actually going to pay for the fans. Yeah, because it's an awful journey. So an hour in car sick, yeah? Yeah. Unfortunately, car sickness was here to stay. Our 300 mile car journey in England was punctuated by visiting most services on route for cleaning and changing my son. Well, right.

So several hours later we arrived at the docks. Happy to finally have a bit of respite from the car. No. However, it transpired the travel sickness was not just limited to the car. I've been on lots of ferry journeys in my life but few as rough as this one. More of the same, four hours into the ferry journey as I cradle... What the train are going? fucking a lap of the UK first? Four hours! I cradled my limp son in my lap as I watched my daughter, soon to have enough energy for both them, ran around all the seasick passengers like a whirling dervice. As she ranned towards me, at full speed, the ferry tilted against the crashing waves.

She fell face first onto the arm of my chair. She burst her lip. I'm not exaggerating, there was blood everywhere. Oh God! Not wanting to miss out on all the attention her brother was getting to insist on sitting on my knee, breeding profusely while screaming at full volume. My husband was nowhere to be seen. After another couple of horrendous hours riding the high seas, we disembarked at Calais, covered in crusty vomit and blood. My son, Green, and my daughter with lips the size to give the Kardashians a run for their money. Lovely turn of France.

Nice, even at a time of terror that she's retelling. She can't can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can that a good. That that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that is top level writing. Um, the night- I'm getting absolutely stiff-knit-boner on that writing. Oh, we'll put in, we'll put in. The nightmare continued in the same vein as she, it's not just my neck that's stiff. As we journeyed through, northern France, it became clear we'd not reached the hotel we booked in advance, we decided to stop at the next hotel we came across. To use the term loosely, it was more like the motel

than Norman Bates would preside over, and our room was four beds stacked in a row, no room to move around. This is a, like a basketball player's bed. This is a strange turn of events. As I lay in bed, unable to sleep do some strange animal sounds, I began to worry about the next day day, I, I, I, I couldn't let him wake up in this hellhole on his birthday. So as everyone woke up my husband began

to sing happy birthday I said silly daddy's got the wrong date is your birthday tomorrow. This is a huge error. So you can't just invent birthdays. I think that's a decision born out of your head being all over the shop. Yeah. Because you would never make that normally, right? Well no, but so were they delayed that like... My husband looked at me like I'd lost the plot as he can be vague over dates he stopped singing. My son looked in complete confusion and said, I'm sure it's my birthday. Even my daughter looked at me suspiciously, but I started now now so I couldn't back down. So he sat off again with my husband hissing you, sure it's not his birthday, me trying to explain the situation. I had to phone my mom en route to explain that though she'd baked a birthday cake and decorated, she

would need to take them all down and tid them away and not make reference to the fact it was her grandson's birthday until the day after the thirty too' the the th...... th. th. I I I I I was th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. I was thi. I was the. I was try. I was try. I was try me me me me me me. I was try. try me me me. try. try. try. Mea' is trying trying trying me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me. me me me me. me me. me me me me. me. try. try. Me. Me. Me. Me. I was try. I was try. I was try. I was try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try try try try try try try try try try try try. Me. Me. Me.m. exhausted close to tears. The next day we sang happy birthday with my son, gave him his presents. He waited patiently till the song of finish before announcing that it was his birthday yesterday but he thanked us anyway. So he's gone along with it. But he knows, but I do think sometimes your kids can see if you're losing the plot and even at young age like I swear I've seen the four-year-old say to two ones, just like, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, I'm just, I've their, I've their, I've their, I've their, I've their, I've their, I'll their I'll their I'll their I'll their I'll their I'll their I'll their I'll their, I'll their, I'll their, I'll their, I'll their, I'll their, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll their, I'll, I'll their, I'll their, I'll their, I'll their, I'll their, I'll their, I'll their, I'll their, I'll their-and, I'll th. And I'll tho' tho' thea' thea' thea' thea' thean, thean, thea'eru. thea'er's thea' their th-old say to the two one, just leave him. Give him part, you know like Linneka and Gascoigne. Have a word. I have a word of him. Mom have a word of him. We'll stay out your way. So that could have been you.

Oh, God, that sounds horrific. And she says the way home was the way. Can you imagine the tha way giving your kids to the grandparents. Oh at least the grandparents are there. If I thought that was me and I'd give the kids to my parents and go to the fridge and down three bottles of beer. Just to start and then drink mine. Well I think, imagine if you got there because were you getting there and then it was just going to be you four anyway. Yeah. So you wouldn't have even had the respite when you got there. Do you know what? It was like such a relief because we were getting quite anxious

about it a bit stressed and a bit short of each other. Yeah. Me and Lou and then was like do we think we should go like that and then when we decided not to we should go that and we're sort of you know draw a line under it. We're so happy as like oh my god like sometimes we're sometimes we're sometimes we're sometimes we're get through it we find them we're so positive which is good sometimes but you don't need to put yourself through unnecessary stress you shouldn't be approaching a holiday like you're approaching a lockdown yeah you're not we've got to get through this it's a holiday we've got a exactly the kids don't care even so I'm not doing now is you're going for two nights house it's quite small so we've rented my friends got like a house in Margate we've rented that was on Airbnb renting this like a three-bedroom like yeah

right on the beach so that we can see the grandparents back for dinner and do that and it was like that's such a nice away and also I said I said I said I don't I've got that booked off work anyways you the to to to to to to the to work I to work I to work I to work I the to work I the to work I'll the to work I'll to work I'll the the to work I'll to work I'll the the to go I'll to go I'll to go go go go go go go I'll the that the to go go go go I'll to go go I'll to go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go I've to to to to to to to to work I'll to work I'll to work I'll to work I'll to work I'll to work I'd to work I'd to work I'd to work work to work to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the somewhere, go to a spa and I'll go golf for the boys. There's my gold plan is coming into its own. We've got a, we've got someone who's also called your turncoat for your golfer. Really? I can't believe, I feel like I'm uncovering a huge conspiracy theory. I'm gonna have to start like hiding in the Ecuadorian embassy. People are gonna be complaining about, you. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I' the their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their go. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I their. I'm. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm to. I'm. I'm. I'm to. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm to. I'm to. I'm the the the the the the the the the the theory. I'm gonna have to start like hiding in the Ecuadorian embassy. People are gonna be complaining about you're gonna get thrown off Twitter. You're gonna get kicked out of clubs, thrown off the course. You know like the minor strike. You're gonna find like a gulfor a drive ahead in your bed as a crack? Yeah.

Just a tea. Just a tea and you're on a door still. Do you want to hear some more nightmare journeys? Oh yes please. I'll think now it's making me feel better about not going. But also I do apologize in advance to anyone that has is actually currently on route on one of these journeys. Imagine hearing that story as you, imagine you know what? Well you have that parenting podcast, Rob's going for a trip to Spain. They their their the estate, let's bang it on for a smile. Right. When I was eight, my family and I went on a road trip to the south of France. All four kids are Living Nanny, my mom and dad crammed into a Volvo Estate like sardines. Trailer full to the room with camping to the back.

He takes a living nanny camping. He fucking old, you gotta look after your kids at some point. Jesus Christ. Imagine the living nanny. We're going on holiday, I'll thank God for that. Do you want to come? No! No! No, it didn't sound the contrary, I was going to live in a fucking tent. Anyway, they're in the state. I thin' thiiii. I tho tho tho tho thothat's illegal. I used to go on the holidays where my dad would build seats out of suitcases in the boot.

Yeah, well wait to do this. This is why I'm reading this out. My memory of Journey was being covered in my own yellow distinct memory of the trailer tilting on its side as it lost a wheel. The rear right wheel bounced away along the motorway behind us. As the trailer started to tilt my brother and I were delighted by the five-foot high bright orange firework like sparks that lit up the rear window whilst my petrified mother and father screamed, no mention of the living nanny's reaction. She did. See the trailer the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their thoeoleoleau thoeau thoeauauauauri. the rear right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right. their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the t. I. I. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. tree. th. the the. She's in the trailer probably, poor thing. After the incident, so in attempt to take the stuff that was in the trailer that had been written off, the seats were to lay flat for the entire contents of the trailer was put in the back of the car, whilst me,

my two brothers, my sister and the nanny all had to lie flat on the contents of the trailer. Imagine that nanny go it feels a HR department now. Oh dear there we go. That's amazing. That's amazing. Dear Josh and filthy grass. Golf grass. Yeah filthy grass is a reason not she... The pitch snitch. Love the podcast a reason not you. The pitch sniff. Love of the podcast guys. I can honestly say it's genuinely helped me get through lockdown with a child Friday me with laughs, etc. etc. Thank you very much. On last week's podcast I was talking about golf being the perfect excuse for some time away for the kids.

Josh asked, what's the strangest hobby that someone's taken up to get time on their own? My hobby may hobby may hobby may hobby may hobby may hobby may hobby may hobby the hobby th hobby th hobby th hobby th hobby th hobby th th th th th their th th th th th th their th th th th th their their their th. I their their their th. I tho-a. I the. I th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've their tho. I've th. I's. I's. I's. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. te. te. te. te. tea. te te toge. te. toge. te. the. the. the. the. the the that someone's taken up to get time on their own? My hobby may be the answer. Given that my hobbies before having child were, rugby league boxing, MMA and weightlifting straight bodybuilding. He sounds absolutely terrified. He's got his absolute beast, this geyser. So here's what I have started doing is jigsaws. Oh, okay. My latest jigsaw.

Seems quite a jump from the high octane aggression. But it's difficult to get someone to, you know, say, why don't you do some of your rugby league? But listen to this, these are, he's given a three-point reason why jigsaws are his best hobby. Okay. My latest jigsaw is a 2,000 piece jigsaw, basically sunset, meaning approximately 1,200 pieces are green, 400 blue and the other 400 yellowy orange. This is by no means a quick cut puzzle to complete. What I do is I start the jigsaw on the breakfast bar in the kitchen, meaning as soon as I've started, my partner actually wants me to finish it so we can back it away.

Yep. So she never wants disputes when I suggest I do a bit of the jigsaw. Oh, this broke a genius! Yeah, in some instances she actually promised me to do some more to get it finished. I'll wipe their bums, you do your jigsaw. You get on with that bloody use. Because the jigsaw looks like it would take a long time to complete. I don't to to to to to th don't th don't tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. thi. thi. thoan thoan time to complete, I don't have to rush it. On some occasions I can get up to two and a half hours to myself before the other half asked me to go back to being a father. Not only this, but I found I can actually spend

around 10 to 15 minutes finding a few pieces to add to the jigsaw, then have 15 to 20 minutes of quiet time staring blank before it aroundouses suspicion. It genuinely is quite therapeutic and for a short while I forget that I'm surviving on roughly three to five hours of broken sleep per night at the minute. Also there are practically an infinite amount of different jigsaws. So this can never run out. I'm on my third of the 15 that I brought when I took up puzzling. Fifteen jigsaws. God it's like when Abramahirch took over. 15 jigs. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15 jigsa. 15 jigs. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was. I was. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. I'm. It's. I's. I's God it's like when Abrahma Hitch took over Chelsea. She bought every one, 15 jigsaws. That's mad! To be fair, I do that with Lego sometimes. If I start a big Lego thing, and I'm like, I'll do Lego with the girls, and then I've basically given the little mini figures to build as I'm building the main bit of it. And then I move it from the table to that the kitchen the kitchen the kitchen the kitchen that's the kitchen that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the kitchen that's the kitchen that's that's the that's that's that's the that's the main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main the the main main main main main main that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main main the kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen then again I'm like oh let me just crack on with it so it gets done so that is a great it's perfect he's

really nailed it he obviously isn't he sounds like quite an obsessive man yeah he does he's a busy guy is a triathlet is it Gordon Ramsey it's a man who's a man who calls himself Luke the puzzle master's the the the the the the puzzle So even this is like, it's like, he's managed to make puzzles, Alpha. Yeah, he's mastered them. I'm the, I'm your, you little Jigsaw, you're my bitch, I'm the master. Get on that kitchen side and get dealt with by me. Yeah, even that's a bit of great. I like it, I like his vibe.

Call me a grass. He's absolutely worried. Because on paper that's not a cool thing to have done. I think it's cool but down the rugby club you don't know you don't don't think it's going to an anecdote. No, and he's doing it on the parenting podcast because he's confident none of his mates listen to this. Oh yeah oh yeah we don't get a lot of bodybuilders listening to listen to listen to listen to listen to listen the to jigsaws, I might do another jigsaw. I did do a jigsaw at the start of Lockton. Yeah. And it was on the kitchen table, it was that kind of situation.

But I wasn't consciously doing a Luke puzzle, master smith. No, I did it because I actually find it quite therapeutic. Yeah, let's get you out of parenting a little bit. If the kids are screaming, you don't really hear. Well, the other thing is, you can kind of occasionally get your daughter involved. Did you do this? Yeah, but get to put a bit in. But yeah, so at first I was like, no, this is annoying because they keep ruining it and the delay in progress. But actually, in a way, that's increasing progress.

Because it's longer. Because it's longer. when I played with her and we had that interaction. Why don't you two go off and do something together because we've been doing something together I just sort it out now? All this will never get finished and we've got people coming over the week. I'll do that with the gardening while I was potting out of the plants. Oh yeah. And then you do an hour's gardening which needs doing anyway. I can't tell you to have an hour's gardening which th. I th. I the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I've th. I've th. I've to have th. I've to have to have to have thathea. I've to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to sort to sort to sort th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've the. I've the. I've to sort. I've to sort. I've to. I've toge. I've toge. I've to sort. I've to sort. I've to sort. I've to sort. I've to sort. I've to sort. I've to sort. I've tell you mine I mean I'm gonna get more turncoat snitch stuff. Oh yeah. Sorting out the carriage or the shed. Wow. I know we've had, you've had previous in this, but normally if I'm saying sorting that out,

the best one, the recycling. Do you sort your recycling into different bits? Yeah, and I get... No one's even needed to do that since the cardboard. So it's a little classic, brook. Breaking down the car. I walk sometimes, if I'm walking back from the shops and I see some unbroken down cardboard that I know they're not going to take away, I take it into my garden to break it down. That's where I'm that with recycling. Also, your garden, what's the snail situation in your garden? Well, the snail's situation is absolutely thahahahahah is absolutely tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha thi thi thi th garden around today just to do a kind of post-lockdown kind of tidy up. Yeah. I just didn't know this could be a thing.

So they said that, so I was like there's a lot of snails and then I heard him on the on the phone to his kind of boss and he's like there's most most most most snails I've ever seen. I reckon that's three. What? Not now mate. So on Friday night we're in the garden like having a glass of wine. It was dark because we have the light, we've got the light and then you have a few, we've got a few in the flower beds. So it lit up the bush and you could see like 20 snails. In the shadow. In the shadow. They're they're the s s s s s they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the they're the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi the the garden the the. theigh theigh the. the. the garden the garden the garden thi. the garden the garden the garden the garden the garden the garden the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi th. thi the the thi the. So the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the. theee theeeee. the. theeeei thei thei thri. the. the call. Yeah, snail man's it. You put out in a violin and they just all descend into. So now I'm going to have to, it's a difficult one. So someone's like you could just get, get all the snails and put them in the bucket and take them to the park. But no, you don't mean for a day trip. You don't have a snail bucket bucket man. if. I saw that Josh Willacum.

It's a bit sorty actually. I said, what you doing there, mate, and he had a bucket full of snail. Are you just frown in a bush? If I got hit by a car on the way there or something and I was actually taken to hospital with a bag of snail. That'd be so funny. Hit at a snails pace. I don't know. I don't know. It'll do. Well, it would be that if you got hit by a car. Not maybe, yeah.

Not without the snails. If you weren't fated because it was fatally injured, that's it. I think they'd just go factual, wouldn't they? If I was killed. If you just like got knocked and't kick the bucket? Or we'd go down the snail, wrote the shell. Shellfish driver leaves poor, poor TV host kicking the bucket. It's too much. It's too I think if I saw that headline, shellfish driver leaves poor TV hosts kicking a box. I would go, I don't know all that stuff. It doesn't, does it? So, so I can't, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I don't know all that stuff I don't think that communicates the story. It doesn't do it? So I can't take them to the park. Yeah obviously you can't take a bucket of snails to the park. Yeah.

Also it's a good age is you're busy man you've got to collect snails. Imagine also that when you get to the park you got to find a kind of a tip. to kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind to to to to to to the snake. to to the snake. the snab. to the snab. the snab. the snab. the snab. the snab. to to to to to the to to to to the the the their to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah He looked like you're doing something really dodgy. Yeah, anyway, he said there's too many snails to deal with them. That's his job? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It tells like there's too much grass to cut it. It'll take the hours. He didn't, so he said we're gonna have to write off up it's just impossible. How many of down there? There's about... there'll be 20 on a bush. Can you do a can you do a like a video just of sweet? It needs to yeah what next time it rains because when it rains they all come out. All right okay you do a quick sweet yeah we put it we're gonna put it we're gonna we're gonna put it on the Instagram yeah we'll put it on the Instagram yeah we've got all the sn't. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. tree. te. te. te. they. they. they. they. they. the they. the the they. the the the the the the the plants. We bought all these plants on the garden centre that are being eaten. He was like you can get need to get some like snail, snug pellets. Slug pellets, not snug pellets. And so obviously like oh god do I want to kill more and

then also there'll be loads of dead snails everywhere. Yeah and you don't also you don't want your daughter picking up slug pellets. Yeah and you exactly. So I've googled ethical ethical slug pellets. Oh you're so East London, right? So I've got I found these ones on it on Amazon and they've got 4.7 rating out of 5 but they say when the they say they what's salt got? What's salt's right? It's got me five across the border. Yeah. It's called organic slug and snail control. Yeah. When they eat it it it says they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they they they don't they don't they they they they they they they they they they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. th. th. tho. tho. thoe thooooooooo. thoooooooes thooo. thooe. I their their their their their the ball, do it? Yeah. It's called organic slug and snail control. Yeah. When they eat it, it says they don't die. They just like...

That is a... That's... They just go underground. Is that a PR word for genocide. Ha to be honest, I don't know what my other options are. So what is it doing to them? In the Amazon-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-based-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s-s-s-s th-s'-a-s'-s. th-s th-s. they're-a-s. they's they's they's they's-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s. they-s. they-s. they-s. they-s. they-s. they-s. they-s. they-s. they-s. they-s. they-s. they-s. they-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-s. they-s. they- No, they just, this is the weirdest thing. So what does it do to them? In the Amazon-based Q&A about the snail and strike pellet. What a world. What kind of what am you? Including is it dog friendly? Yes. Is it okay around birds and wildlife? Yes, so all good and then what color the pellets, light blue? And then does it kill the snails? No they just eat it the the the their their their their their their they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their they they they their their their their their their the pellets, light blue? And then does it kill the snails? No, they just eat it and then they burrow underground.

What is that? How does it do that? It just... Is it like the Matrix pill? Is it like the matrix pill? They're like, they'll just eat the paltricks. They eat the pellet and they're like, I'm just going to go underground now, but I'm going to stay alive. Or maybe, because it's like Ketmin and they're not hungry because they're like self-the-red. Like they're dead poised. I don't want a load of m if anyone's and by the way the idea of like put some

silver foil around the plants that doesn't work that's that's one of the ideas suggested there's too many snails for a bit of silver for. Yeah exactly so that the game's over for that Paul Nicholas in these tenders. Really old reference but the kind of reference I get on board with. You're playing to the right market there, man. I'm in your office, it feels like 9097. Talking of snail control and the ethical to salt-based conundrum you've got Josh. I've had a few more salty, non-salty Josh.

Do you think I should just go out to my garden and be salty in that wood. Yeah, just go out there and just sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort their their their to to s don't, to to to to to their their their to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. the. the. the. thooooooooooooooooo. th. thea. thea. thea. the. the. their think I should just go out to my garden and be salty in that word? Yeah just go out there and just sort of sneer or just don't respond. This one I thought we'd seen that's in the back of sorting on unsaulty. I've put a shout for me being salty or non-saulty but we've had nothing. Absolutely pure. You know maybe I'm just such a great guy. I'm just such a great great guy thg. Maybe thg. Maybe thg th. Maybe th. Maybe I'm just a great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great. Maybe I'm the the th. Maybe I'm th. Maybe I'm th. Maybe I'm just th. Maybe I'm th. Maybe I'm to. I'm th. I'm just the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just. I'm just th. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm not. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just the th. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just th. I guys, great podcast. I met Josh at the rap party for season two of his sitcom Josh. I was working the bar that night, and we had no idea it was a rap party just that a large booking was coming in. So we weren't quite prepared for how much they all drank.

they all drank. This would have been in your hey day of booze. Yeah, you drink a lot. I could put it away. Put it away, loved it. And then would be sick and carry on. That sort of always I liked about you. Yeah. You don't take a defeat. I don't take defeat. Anyway, my main memory was Ellis James, which we've got to get Ellis James in the pocket.

Never as a man been spoken of so much. We are going to do it. It's mad because I'm not going to lie. This must be the most in demand Ellis has ever been to be on anything. My main memory was that Ellis James was trying to convince everyone, including me that tequila and lemonade will soften it. Yeah. Anyway, tequila is a great drink. Only good stuff. The crap stuff is a good. But it's, it makes you happy as opposed to other alcohol. Like it's an upper rather than a downer. Whiskey makes me like that but then I go loopy. It's too much. Yeah. But I know what you mean? It does lift you, makes you warm and fuzzy. But then it can't be my drink.

We couldn't like go for a pint and I'll be like that. Just have a but that's something that Luke Puzzlemaster Smith was doing. I told you I told the NCT story where we went to the pub of NCT like all the dads and we didn't know how to that one the kids were all like three months old so we all just like dragging us out to this pub to be polite to be polite and now like the wives and girlfriends were like oh you go out be nice to see everyone and like anyway so we went out it was like it was it was like from eight to nine thirty everyone had to get back to a night feed so we already like two pints and then we sort of a end of our second I was all to check it was quite nice and then he's like, it's all get whiskey, it's been a bit sort of after us. All right, okay, we're getting whiskey.

Was it a little puzzle master's in it? It may be, I don't know, he turned up in a rubby lead gear. But, um, three? Three? Bloody yeah, we want any whiskey with your ice cubes? I said, I don't even want a ice cubes with it. And he keeps going to three, and they're like, three cubes,

three cubes, oh, three cubes? And then, no, thi cubes, thinks, three cubes, three cubes, three cubes, three cubes, three cubes, three cubes, three cubes, three cubes, three cubes, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, and three, three, and three, he, he, th, he, thinks, three, he, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, th... th. three, three, th. three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, th. th. thee, three, th. three, three, th. three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, he, three, th. three cubes and then on the group still occasionally says how is he going three cubes? Like this one comment that's now about five years ago I fucking here. So how many cubes you meant about? That's what I said oh all right sorry I didn't know oh three cubes oh three cubes we've got free cubes well the one or two oh not far off I'm not some nine cubes of ice there but yeah so this is Ellis James is tequila a l'luna to to to to to to to all to all to all to all to all to all tobe to all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all t. to t. t. t. the the to the the to the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the t. t. the tube tube c. tube. tube. tube. tube. I tube. tube. tube. tube. tube. tube. tube. tube. tube. three. three. tube. I three. I three. I three. I th. I tequila lemonade PR man. But Josh is very lovely to all of us that night and I even managed to grab a selfie with him at the end. In case you remember I was a stupidly tall barman.

I was quite ill. I don't remember it. It was like the day, two days before Christmas. It was one of those ones where, you know when you're ill but there's a big night? Yeah, and you can't miss it. You're like, I've just got to push myself through and actually having this alcohol will really help me. Well, stupidly tall, I mean, what's stupid? I think stupidly tool's beyond seven foot, and I doubt he is. I'd say six four, he loves it.

Yeah, he absolutely buzzes off being six four. I'd th bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th. I'll th. I'll thus, I'll thus, I'll thus, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, this, this, this alcohol, this alcohol, this alcohol, this alcohol, this alcohol, this alcohol, this alcohol, this alcohol, this alcohol, this, this, this, th. I'll th. I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. th. th. thus, I'll thus, stupid, I'll thus, stupid, I'll thus, stupid, thirty. thirty, stupid, thirty, thirty, thi. thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, th. I think that would be first on anything you put down on a dating buyer. Six four! And a bomb. Stribly tall. It's so bloody tall. It's a bloody tall. It's a bloody tall. It's a reference point in an email. I'm so bloody tall. What's it? What's he called? Alex. What's it? I don't remember stupidly tall man that night. No. And he he he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he says. And he says. And he says. And he says. And he says. And he says. And he says. And he says. And he says. And he says. And he says. And he says. the the the th. th. th. th. th. to says. to says. to says. the to says. to says. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. It. the. the. the. So. the. the. t. t. t. t. t. t. the the. the. the. the. the. the. tall. tall. tall. tall. So. So. So. So. in charge of the stupid's was so massive the BBC took two weeks to pay it. Whoa! First and foremost I pay my license fee. That is. I don't know be paying for these media elites to... That is terrible. I would argue though it wouldn't it would be the production company. It would not be the production company. It would not come out of BBC budgets that we pay for as a licence. It's very unlikely that I went up to the Director General to sign off.

Yeah, exactly. I would say, I want to know Alex Sharp, if you're listening, how to tall are you? And if you are over six, seven, I apologize. Yeah. If you're under, I think six foot, six foot, foot four you don't even realize they're tall. Like if they're well built enough, you're just a tall guy. Yeah, you're just a- So like, also like, I'm five at eight, what, you're five at seven? Yeah. I wouldn't say wish. I wouldn't say five, even five at six is stupidly short. Five foot four in a man. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they're just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're th. th. th. th. th. they's, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. they're just just just just like, if they're just just just they're just just, if they're just, that's when it's a, not a problem. No, it's never a problem. A new challenge.

Exactly. Four said man, you know, I'm speaking as a man. You don't have to pay VAT on your shoes. It's a little bonus in that sense. They do get bonuses. Why, mate, he's about my eye, but he's size five shoes, but he's a size five. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that. that. that. that. thi. that. that. that. that. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. thi. thi. thi. thi. ta. ti. ti. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th same shoe. Same level. Also you can have a picture of Snoopy on his shoes and it's easy for him to find. Velcro. Well, I've got a sorty one as well Josh, sorry to bring a five down. Yeah, that's good. My salty Josh experience took place at Glastonbury in 2015. Oh, well, you shouldn't be carrying out to be a glass-deenbree.

This, you would be absolutely flying. I'd have been having a th-I th-I-I-I-I-a-I you know, a couple of years before the baby. Your peak, your peak, your peak, Wicker. You're bowling around. Kanye West, I can't remember who was on that year. You're three years into hosting last egg. You've thought I'd have been doing all right for myself. You'd been all right for yourself. I'd to have th. You're th. You're th it would dry up like I am now. Exactly, you're sort of like if it does end tomorrow I've had a good go at it. Yeah, that's your vibe. You're in Glasgow, no kids, you're at the peak of your booze in

you're having a great time. And I think this woman who's soon to be in her late 20s and the year 20s. I can be salty to her to be to to to to to to their their their their th. She she she's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's. She's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. You're in th. You're in th. You're th. You's. You's. You's. You's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's that's the. that's that's that's the. that's that's the. that's the. the. that's the. th. th. th. th., she realized that wearing dungarees, I mean she could fit a whole bag of wine inside them, making it easier to dispense rather than put it in a backpack. Yeah. So in the, she's sort of like a kangaroo pouch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, it was... So she's already kind of dealt with pregnancy. In that's what you're saying, it also had an any bonus of making the bonus of making me look eight months pregnant, to make, to make, to, to, to, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin' thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, th, th, th, th, th, th, th in th in th in thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the, the, the, the, the, the, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, the, thin, thin, thea, So I could get space. People get also probably... Who's thinking? There's an eight-month pregnant person by the pyramid stage at Glastonbury. I wouldn't think that and through I think, you shouldn't be fucking here, what are you doing? Get home, you loaner too! Anyway, as the wine bag diminished, I got more wobbly, so God knows what the other festivals thought of this nowto four months pregnant as a bag got drunk.

We were next to one of the stage to watch Bell and Sebastian or maybe Jungle. Yeah, Sunday night I remember that. Which, who was it? It was, they were, uh, Bell and Sebastian was about, it was about 7 p.m. the Sunday night, the sound system were playing later on night. Well, Sunday night at Glastonbury, everyone's in a bit. I think everyone needs to be taken, excuse a pun, the pinch of a pinch of a pinch of Richard James's ethical, snail control. Anyway, so Sunday night, you stood next to each other. Anyway, so, so, you've so implies we have known each other previously.

Yeah, you've got no idea. You don't know. That's the, yeah. You haven't bumped into you, you've seen from a far. Yeah. I didn't go, oh yeah. Oh, good to see you again. How's the baby. Anyway, hey, Josh Whitakum, would you like some of our wobbly bag? Okay, so I'm gonna defend you it. I don't like this initial contact. No. No. No. No. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Bunk. Bunk. th. th. th. B. Bunk. to. Bunk. Bunk. Bunk. Bunk. Bunk. Bunk. Bunk. Bunk. Yeah. Bunk. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah.. Yeah... Yeah. Yeah... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.'re not going to drink wine from her stomach. I don't know it is day free on trust though. I probably did worse on the Saturday night and yeah also as well they've started the initial they've initiated the conversation with an in joke yeah which always put a comic on their back foot because they're like right you try to do a joke I don't understand I am I am am am am am am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they they're they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're th I thi thi thi they're not not they're not they're not they're not they're not they're not they're they're they're they're they're they're they're right you try to do a joke but I don't understand. Am I being pranking me with a wobbly belly wine bag? Yeah exactly. And anyway and they whipped out what was left of the bag. Josh frowned and said no he wouldn't and even though we try to insist he refused to join us for a drink of t sometimes a salty response is warranted and necessary.

And I would have been the same there as well. I think also there's something about someone offering you a half empty bag of wine that you think you're gonna have, it's gonna be piss. Oh yeah, piss or have some sort of drug in it. Oh, most likely piss with drug in it. And also you're trying to watch Bell and Sebastian, you don't need. No offence, Helly. He's there for Bell and Sebastian not to meet new people. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. Well, anyway, so I don't think it was that salty, you just didn't want to drink from

my bag. In the other week, and I think it'sto say no to a shot. You then say just the one or two ice cubes though. Just to be very clean. Five cubes in the shop please. Daddy's hot. I once, this is... Three cubes. A guy bought me a drink in a pub.

And then he was just talking to me and talking to me. And I was like, the to just gold to go, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, to to to be, to be just, to be just, to to to be just, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to to be, to be, to be, to to be, to to to to to to to be to to to to to to the the the to the the the ta, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to, to, to me, to, to me, to to to, I've just bought you a drink and I was like, yeah, but I, and in the end I had to pay him off. I was like, I'll pay you back for the drink if I can let. I'm so upset with you throw, okay, well he's 5 pound 50, can you stop talking to me? Sorry mate, but I'm buying out of this, okay? You go off on this venture, but I'm buying out of this round. Buying out of a round, so I, that's email I want to get, sorty Josh. Josh, Josh bought me out of a round because he didn't want to talk to me. If you're there, please do email in. If you want to get in toucetto, and to get in to get in to get in to get in to get in to get in to get in to get in to get in to get in to to to get in to to to to to to to to to get to to to get to to get to to get to get to to get to get to to get thoom this this this this this this this this this this this this thoomou this thoom thoom thoom thoom tho tho tho tho to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to to to to to to to to to to tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. this this this this this this this this this this this this this this thou-a thoooooooooooo us hello at lockdownparentin.cookk or we're on Twitter at lockdown parents.

Oh I think the penny's out. Oh what? Breaking news. Hang on let me just reading you Lou. Hello Lou. Yeah, the penny is out. Right, you're on loud speaker for the podcast. Oh, hello. Josh is here. Hello. Hi, Josh. How are you? Oh, I'maker for the podcast. Hello. Josh is here. Hi, Josh. How are you? Oh, I'm good, thank you. I'm going to have to search for any more human feces. So Lou, Lou, please can you deliver the breaking news to the listeners? The coin has left the building.

Wow. Literally, as I was, I spent 20 minutes on hold to the receptionist at the doctors, to, the doctors, th, to, the, th, th, th, th, the, th, thuuuuctors, thuctors, thuctors, thua, tho, tho, tho, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, how, to, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, to, to, th. Oh, th was, I spent 20 minutes on hold to the receptionist at the doctors, I had to explain to her what had happened. That wasn't supervising my child and I let her eat money. And then, because it's been six days, I'm concerned. As I'm on the fine to the receptionist, the youngest one is pulling it out. Amos. She just wanted me to explain it to one more set of strangers. Was it was it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it, was it, was it, was it, was it, was it, was it, was it, was it, was it, was it, was it, was it, was it, was it, was it, was it, to it, to it, to it to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to explain to explain it to one more set of strangers, then I had to release

it. Was it a difficult release? Did she seem under duress or did she just squeeze it out? Did it ding? Did it ding? It didn't ding? Oh, I think we should keep it. Oh, no.

Oh, no. In shit. Did you, um, did you, have you met- Did you, have you met? All right. Probably a tax ban one in half. Can I ask what you're going to do with it? Oh, I've got it in a little pot for you, Rob, to look at when you get home. Yeah, lovely.

And she's all right though. Have you metal detected her just to see there's not any more up there? I haven't the metal detected her yet, because I don't know how to work the machine. Oh, okay. I'll do it when I get home. I'm supposed she ate more than one penny. Yeah, she can't. And I was supposed that my child no longer has a penny. So thank you Lou for doing most of the poo squishing over the past six days

I think. Let's not bring this up because I did introduce the idea of scanning her before you dived into a big pile of shit again. Oh that's not always possible is it when there's a potty full of poo. Lou would you like to discuss how we divvy up the weekly the weekly the weekly the weekly the weekly the weekly the weekly the weekly the weekly the weekly the weekly the weekly the weekly the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tooom. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, the the the the the th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th throw away? Lou, would you like to discuss how we divvy up the weekly food shop? No, I would not because I quite like our marriage. Right, thanks for that in a moment. I'm really in the mood for ending it. Yeah, fair enough. All right, talking to you later. I love you. I love you. to talk to you later th. Bye th. Bye th th to th to th to th th to th th th th to th to to th th th th th th th th th thi thi to the to to to the the the to the the the the to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I to to toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. tip. I tip a positive there is? She quite likes your marriage. She quite likes it, God. You can't be pleased with that. Quite like it.

Um, oh, I don't think we've got time. Maybe I can tell it next week, but my day of being an absolute dad legend. I absolutely, you know, some days, I think it's just like, I thinks it's only funn't, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm the film, I'm thinks, I'm thinks, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to be pleased, to be pleased to be pleased to be pleased thi, thi, to be pleased to be pleased to be pleased to be pleased to be pleased to be pleased to be pleased to be pleased to be pleased to be pleased to be pleased, to be pleased, to be pleased, to be pleased, to be pleased, to be pleased, to be pleased, to be pleased, to be pleased to be pleased to be pleased to be pleased thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi theeeeeann't to be pleased to be pleased to be pleased to be pleased to be pleased to me to be pleased I absolutely destroyed it and I talked you through it next time. Well, that's what we look forward to next Monday. It was outrageous. I was like a man on a mission though, just like what more can I do? Wow. It's like we live joined by the amazing

Romash Ranganathan. Oh yeah great episode that one. Anyone you want us to interview let us know. Let us know. Let us know. And if you've got an interview. If you've got a contact details for them. Yeah because obviously we've got a fair reach but if there's anyone you've got a link in and you could get us. Yeah. Let us know the Obama's either of the Obamaas. Yeah. Yeah. Both. Both. Both. Both. Both. Both. Both. Both. Yeah. Both. Both. Yeah. Both. Yeah. Yeah. Both. Yeah. Yeah. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If....................................................................................................................................................................................... Either of the Obama's. Well, yeah, let us know who you want us to interview. And follow us on Instagram. It is run by our, I was going to, where our wives, Lou and Rose, though we haven't asked them to do it yet, but I'm sure. And so they will respond to any questions you have about our parenting on there. Yeah. And then we can go over that every week. They can confirm or deny certain stories, the facts. But yeah, they'll be running it and putting up some stuff.

I feel a bit vulnerable if they're running it. Yeah, so do I. What if it goes really well and it's better than the podcast and it's better than the podcast? All I can say is as long as there's no only fans, or if there isn't only fans, I'll they's I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll th. I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll th. I'll, I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll, I'll th. I'll, I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll, I'll th. th. th. th. I, I, I'll, I, I'll th. th. th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. th. th. thin, I'll the. thean, I'll thean, I'll thean, I'll thean, I'll thean, I'll thean, I'll thean, I'll the th be terrible, isn't it, when we're doing the podcast as a spin-off of the Instagram. Oh yeah, yeah, and we're like, oh, figures are up. Why, that lingerie shoot for last week? Thank you so much for listening. We will be back, as always, on Tuesday, with Romesh. See them. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.