Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S01 EP42: "What's this really about?"

Episode Date: September 18, 2020

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' - S01 EP42: "What's this really about?"More misadventures in parenting from Josh and Rob.Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Looking for a collaborator for your career, a strong ally to support your next level success, you will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue. York you.C.A. I'm going back to University for zero-dollar delivery fee, up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cash back on rides not whatever you think university is for get Uber won for students with deals this good everyone wants to be a student joined for just 499 a month savings may vary eligibility

and member terms apply hello I'm Josh Whitakam welcome to lock down welcome to lockdown the show in which Rob and I to be a parent during lockdown which I would say can be a little tricky. So in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation. And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. Hello and welcome to lockdown parenting hell with.

You ask the weekend. And go back it. Oh, that's a lovely one. That's a lovely one. That's a lovely one. th. parenting hell with. Last week at him. And I'll back it. That's a lovely one. That's Finley saying our names. Four-year-old Finley. His mum Abby has sent this in. I'm laughing, but I feel so bad for these people. This is my four-year-old Finley saying your names. He was supposed to start school yesterday and couldn't because he got struck down by the bloody virus last week. So after all these months counting down the days, I could send him off.

I still now have him at home until he recovered. Abbey, my heart goes, I cannot express how much of my heart has got out to you there. That is, I am, I think everyone listening. Also as well, poor old Finley is his th. It's, th. It's th., th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi's thu. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thu thu tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thu thu thu thu thu thu thu th th th th th th th th th th th th th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. theee theu. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo th out to you there. That is I think everyone listening. Also as well, poor old Finley, it's his new school and stuff like that so we'll be started a bit later but I'm sure it'll be absolutely fine. I move schools first couple of years and stuff so it will be fine. Abbey hopefully he's better already, I think he's better already but he's got to wait a certain number of days. Oh dear me, to go back in. So poor Abby, she's had locked down, school holidays and now poor old Finley has got to stay

our school for another couple of weeks. Do you know what, full credit to Abby for taking him for the test in that situation and not just keeping it to herself. That is a very noble decision. I think, I personally, I think, don't quote me on this, I don't think that gets you out of it, does it? But actually do quote me on it. I generally think I would have been tempted to just send him in for a week, get his feet under the same, go, oh yeah, he's, now you say it, he is, no you say it is a bit hot, he's a bit, he's a bit, a bit, a bit, a bit, a bit, a bit, a bit, a bit, a bit, a bit, a bit, a bit, a bit, a bit, a bit, a bit, a bit, is, is, is, is, is, that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's, that gets, gets, gets, gets, gets, gets, gets, gets, gets, gets, gets gets, gets gets gets gets, gets gets gets gets, gets gets, gets, gets gets, gets gets, that's is, that gets, is, is, is, is, is a that gets, is, is a that gets, is a that gets, is a that gets, is a that gets, is a that gets, is a that gets, a that gets, a that gets, a that gets, a that gets, that gets, gets, that gets, gets, gets, gets a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a So yeah, I'll probably take them for a test. But well done Abby for doing the right thing. Yeah, well done for doing the right thing. Oh, brutal.

Please let us know how Finley gets on, because I'd like to know how he got on with his first out school so we can follow this whole story through Abby. Thank you very much. I tell you about my play date. So I set this up didn't I? You've been hooking up with new guys, haven't you? Hoking up with new guys. It went well, Rob. It was good. Nice. It was a genuine success. So this is the person who goes, so your daughter's friend at preschool, you approached

the parent. Approach the parent via text. Met up with them in the park. Nice. And within I'd say five minutes, my daughter had fallen over quite badly and grazed her knee. Oh, okay, yep. How are you when they fall over, right? Because I'm almost to the point where I feel like I'm a bit heartless. Because kids walk right.

You've got to be like, no, get up, you're al right. You're one of those ones? Or... That looked bad. Yeah, oh my God, no! Are you alright? Are you okay? Yeah, that's what you can't do. Are you sure? It looked really bad, that looked like it really hurt. Are you okay? I think you've just got to let them lead to the emotion in that situation. And then try and like, dampen the flames, as it were the the, I imagine Roy Keene would be with his child. Do you know what I mean? It'd be like, fucking man up.

Get up, get up, come on. It's only two stitches. Walk it off. So then you'd occasionally get glances of the knee when she was going up a ladder and it looked bad, but we're like, we've got to carry on with the play date. Yeah, we've come this far. It'd be awful, it it it it'd be awful, it'd be awful, it'd be awful, it'd be awful, it'd th. It'd th. It'd th. It'd th. th. tho, it's th. tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. that, tho, that, that, to to to to to come, right, right, to come, to come, to come, to come, to come, to come, to come, to come, to come, to come, to come, to come, to come, come, come, come. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, to, to, to, to to to to to to to the. to to to to to to to to to, to to to to to to to throw, to to the. knee was fine in the end. It was great. Do you know what? She got on with the other child. Very well indeed.

Oh, that's good. And they're local, are they? They're around the corner? Well, they're moving away. So the whole thing was totally pointless. Oh, no. but there you go, that's life. It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. And she had that one play date, and now she's back having no mates. Yes, yeah.

So then, it's her birth then a few weeks. We got in touch with our friend that does children's birthdays. Yeah. And we were like, birthday abandoned. Oh no. By that point obviously we discussed it with her what she wanted. This is a nightmare? Absolute disaster. Birthday birthday abandoned. Oh and you mentioned it to her as well? Yeah. Oh no Josh this is a terrible told of it was you planning? Well we were planning it's the middle of October so it a difficult, and we obviously worried about, you know, people being worried about COVID.

So we were going to do something outside, but with an indoor option in case it was pissing with rain. Fair enough, okay. But now, the dream is dead, mate. Can't you, I can't, because they're too young, as I say she could have a few people over, but then you can't, well, well, well, well, well, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th.. we're three. So, yeah, do you have to be there? I'll take one for the team? I mean, I always take one for the team and it comes to the kids parties. The worst case scenario would be that the three children are dropped off and the parents leave so that we're six but we've got four children to look after. I think that's what some people do when they get older, they just leave the kids. No th th th th th th th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I thi, I th. I th. I th. I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th just leave the kids. No. Yeah, that's what happens.

When would you leave a child at a birthday party? I reckon from now really, from them starting primary school, so five. Imagine holding a birthday party, 20 children, none of them yours except two. Well, I think that's what happens because they're used to be in a group together and obviously so everyone sort of knows everyone, they're all at the school. So that's what I'm picking up on is that going forward the party thing will be right here's my kid I'll pick them up at four o'clock. Do you think it's worth it? The one party you have to do the year which would be hell on your child off. Well that's what I'm sad. Do you know what they're doing Denmark? I've read this book about having kids in Denmark. It's called A Year of Living Danishly. It's really good, Helen Russell, but I read it.

Someone said to me, how do you feel about your daughter's starting school? And finally, yeah, quite chilled. But I've read this book about raising kids in Denmark? Well, I've always wanted to live. I love Copenhagen. I thought it would be quite a cool place to live. And they've got an amazing welfare system and staff and it's really just like a nice place. Very progressive country. Yeah, so I'm a big fan of Denmark and

Copenhagen. this book and it just sort of popped up. She also does listen to to the author to the author the author to listen. the author. to listen. to listen. to listen. to listen. to listen. the author. to listen. to listen. to listen. to the author. to too. too. to too. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to to to to be. I. I. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I to to to to th. I the th. I the th. the th. tho. the the the tho. the thoooooooooooooooooooooo. I'm the the the. thoooooo. I to the. I the. I to to this show, the author Helen Russell. I'm getting her on. So I think we should get her on because the way they do schooling is so madly different and child care and they, what they do is kids are normally in child care like on state sponsored child care from can be six months if you want like and go off and all the way through till school and what they do is for kids parties is they go right it's your daughter's party so we are bringing the whole class to your house at midday for one hour and then in the hour you play a game they have some cake they have something to eat they put balloons on boom boom boom and then the teacher takes them away so you can set it all up they're there for an hour and then it so it's just done bang then that's good plan the the their their their their th oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh th oh th oh th oh th oh th oh that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th oh th oh that's that is tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho. they they they they they tho tho tho tho tho th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they that they they they they they the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they the they the they they they they they they then you keep the weekends to yourself. Oh, that's nice.

That's a good plan, isn't it? Yeah, that is good. Oh my God, but what, how slow that hour will feel? Come on, Jeff, it's only an hour, it'll be fun, would it? It's only an hour. We've all thought that when we're sat watching something that's long and an hour and rubbish. And also, you're never gonna like them all, just by probability. No, of course not. If you've got 30 people in your house

and like you're not picked, they just all decide to go to that school, there's gotta be a good percentage that you would hate, some that are okay, some you like, and you can't, you know, and you can't show that kind of stuff? Yeah, exactly. I mean, but anyway, that's how they do it in Denmark, but I've realized I do want to raise my children in Denmark, but I'm six years too late. I also think I do think it would have an impact on your career if you're having to commute from Copenhagen. Yeah, but I'd be so cool though, I'd just turn up with little scant the little little little little little little little little little little little little little little scand the little scand the little scand the little scand the little scand their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I'll thin thi. I'd thi. I'd thin, I'd thin, I'd thi. I'd that's. I'd that's. I'd that's. I'd that's. I'd that's. I'd that's. I'd that's. I'd that's. I'd that's. I'd that's. I'd that's. I'd that's. I'd that's. I'd that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd thi. I'd thi. I'd thi. I'd thi. I'd to th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd that's that's that's that's how. I'd that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. I'd probably be thin because they're all thin. I think you just catch it, didn't you, in like Scandinavia. I think you, it's like COVID, you just catch thin and tall?

Imagine if you turned into a kind of Scandinavian heartthrob. Imagine me at six foot two, it'd be too much, wouldn't it? If I was six foot like three, it would be too much to take too much, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, too, I, too, I, too, too, I'd, too, too, too, t, t, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, thin, that, that, thin, that, that, thin, that, that, that, thin, that, that, th, if you look like Tom Davis, it would just get a bit too, it would just get a bit too much. It's a bit much already, but imagine like I'm sort of like energy and like in your face, like but this, I imagine being like looming over you like is absolutely bulk. But is this, is your personality that you're trying to make up for your small kind of, I mean I don't want to compare you but like people always say about Napoleon being very short. Yeah, maybe that's what I'm trying to make up for. Would I still be funny if I look like Thor? This is how you can get in touch.

Do you want some emails, Rob? Oh, please. It's the lockdown parenting mail bag. Right. It's the lockdown parenting mail bag. But it's actually emails and there's no bag. Right. Do you, before that, do you think there'll be another thing that comes into replace emails? What? You know like that-

This is turned into tomorrow's world? I'm just saying. Can emails get any quicker? The thing's slown them down is the person writing them. Dictation will happen. No one's doing dictation at the moment are they? You'd have to be mad to be doing that. Well I'd love to be able to just think something and it appeared in word. I would absolutely hate that. That would be one of the worst things that could ever happen. Really? Because you'd leave it on and you don't start your thoughts and it would start your thoughts and it would just. Yeah, like, better work, oh it's a funny parenting idea. They've gone out actually, maybe I could go upstairs quickly. And then you'd like, the email would forward on or something. You'd like go for a piss and you'd be caught in your own thoughts and then you'd come back

and you just send you all your pissed thoughts to your agent. Yeah, I should definitely carry on cutting out wheat because my ass is in pieces. Have you heard back about Larmy and Poor? Ha the tip of coffee in the morning to the on-the-go cup. This episode is brought to you by Nisprasso. Elevate your morning coffee ritual. From the first sip of coffee in the morning to the on-the-go cup. Make every morning unforgettable with nesprasso. Discover a world of possibilities with or without milk.

Visit Nispresso.c.c.c.a. to learn more, or a Nespresso Boutique near you. What does Possible sound like for your business? It's having to spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with business platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and Conditions apply. Visit Amex.C. slash, I've got to tell this before we do emails. I wanted to do some filming in Huddersfield last week.

And I stayed in this hotel that was completely empty. Yeah, I met up with Alex Brooker on one of the evenings. No one in a hotel apart from me. I went, and they they they they they they they they they they they went, I was they went, I was they they went, I was they went, I was, I was, I was thoom. I was, I was, I was thoom, I was, I was thoom. I was, I was, I was, I was thoom. I was tho, I was to thoom. I was told, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was told. I was told. I was, I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was, I was tho, I was tho, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was tho. I was to to to to to to to to told, I was told, I was to to to told, I was told, I was told, I was to told, I was to only, they went, they went, when can I have it? They went, whenever you want, they are the only one here. Right? And then I found out, listen to this headline. Hardisfield Hotel transformed into UK's first coronavirus care home in three weeks. The UK's first nighting gal care home to help the surgeon vulnerable people amidst a coronavirus pandemic has opened in a hotel pandemic. And it was just me. Wow, the hotel, the hotel, an egg I'm telling you if I stayed there as an older person I'd love those eggs but yeah no it was all good should we crack on and stop them like

coronavirus. Should we go to some Macy Gray on? Okay you asked for stories of siblings born close together this is from Jane Crocket my brother-in-law had a colleague in the US. This colleague and his wife were unable to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. I the the their. I was a their. I was a their. I their. I. I their. I. I. I their. I. I their. I. I. I their. I I. I I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I was th. I was. I was. I was. I'm. th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the a colleague in the US. This colleague and his wife were unable to get pregnant, so they decided to use a surrogate. The woman who was a surrogate got pregnant. Three months later, the colleague's wife found out that she was also pregnant. The couple's siblings are therefore three months apart. Oh my God. So it's three months' age difference. So it's basically tin. Imagine having a child and thinking there's another one on the way in three months. Oh my, oh no. I mean, I think that, is that better or worse than twins?

I think it's better because one will be a bit more stable and settled, but you've got to do it all again just so close after you always want to do it in one blast. There is I know people with twins would dis-spute this obviously there is the advantage with twins every night you're getting through two bad night do you know what I mean? Yeah and also as well you've not got the stress of another labor because how stress you know that oh god is it all all right okay this is from Claire Hunt this this from th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is the the the tha tha thau thau thau twin thau twin thae twin thae thau thau thau thau thae thi th Hunt. I just wanted to let you know about the gap between my first and second babies. They are ten and a half months apart. Oh, okay, so this is the record so far from the same woman.

Basically, when my son was eleven weeks old, a time in which they had not stopped crying and slept no more than two hours, I discovered I was six weeks pregnant. Fuck off! People are animals, Rob. No offence, Claire Hunt. Every week between the middle of September and the end of October my son and daughter are the same age. I'd like to tell you what the first two years were like, but they're a total blur.

You're shagging all the time probably. That was... Four years later. Well, you're not going to believe this. So have you got any thoughts on that one, Rob? When are you allowed to have sex after? After you give birth? Because we're currently up to five and a half years in my house. I'm gonna, I've said I've said this to not get too graphic about it it it it it it it it th it th it th it tha tha tha tha tha the the the the the the the the the the to to the the the the the the the the. the. th. th. theate. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. So th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the. theeea thea's thea's the thea' thateea' thatea' thate that that that that that that 't believe this is true but this is what a midwife told him he said also don't do not get too graphic about it it obviously depends on how traumatic or not traumatic of course of course because if there's a cesarean or if there's stitches needed I think it's probably the most delicate way to yeah that it does put you out the game for a little while doesn't it so it also it also depends surely how the you can't judge. No, I'm not judging, but yeah, yeah, it also depends how knackered and ruined your life is. Some, you know, some people have more stamina than others, some people have more

robust vaginas. That's just a way of life, so we cannot judge, can we, that's how you end your stand-up tour show as well, isn't it, th th th th th th th th th. th. thi thiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th, to to th, th, to th, th, th, th, th, th, th.. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thrue, thrue, thrue, thrue, thrue, theeeeeat, throoooooooooooooooooooooo with that speech? Yeah, yeah, that's just a part of life. Some people have more robust vaginas and other peoples. My name's Robbicke, Keep Supporting Life Quality, Good Night. Good night, stay safe. So, my friend, I told this to... Am I allowed to say robust vaginas as a cis match? Yeah, it's one of my favorite bands the robust, robust, I'd be a great bad name, wouldn't it? It would be good. Would you reckon the fans would call them for sure? Because Biffy Clara are called Mon that's Monabiff, isn't it? Right, yeah. So what would the robust vagina call themselves?

I don't, I think we should leave this conversation just as, because, the R-badge. The R-badge? I think like you're a bit uncomfortable with my robust vagina. Well you're not going to believe what I'm about to tell you from my friend. Go on. Our midwife, I told him this and he said, our midwife told us, she once delivered the baby, spent about an hour doing all the checks, put the baby in the cot, left the room, cave back five minutes late and the parents were humah- That is not that is not correct use of a hospital bed. I mean there's robust vaginas in those robust vaginas. I don't know that's human. That is unbelievable and to the point where I actually don't believe it. Um so if you've got children that are closer together than what's that night ten and a half months yeah I mean that couple I mean you can't you capt in a toub to the teatinne th of th of th of th of th of th of th of th of th of th of their that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th th th th th th th th th th thi the thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the their they. their they. the the. that's that's that that that that that that's that that's that's that's you? I don't think everything's back in order then, is it? No, I don't think you can...

From a science perspective, because that would be an hour, literally bang on nine months. So yeah, ten and a half months, that's the winner so far. I mean, that is unbelievable. Do you want to hear from the the age gap. I have I feel I have to email to discuss Rob's opinion on the name Agnes. Okay yep. Please find attach a photo of my toddler her name is Agnes. Oh though I do not hold authority on baby names I can assure you Agnes is very much still used in the 21st century. Side note and my partner has warned me against revealing this. She was six weeks early and we hadn't firmed up a name for her. Given her sudden arrival, we

panicked and named her after our dog. Oh, no. So the dog is called Agnes as well? Yeah. I think that's weird, isn't it? I'm sorry. I can't wait for her to ask why she's called Agnes when she grows up. Well, how old's the dog? If the dog's 16, yeah? And then, you know, and by the time, you know, Agnes, the human, grows up, the dog will be gone. So it won't be really an issue, but to have them in the same house for a long period. Well, it says they've had the dog reason of the name. No I'm joking. We've killed the dog. Agnes, okay, yeah. Well that, that, yeah. I wonder if there's any parents listening that regret name, the name of their child. Oh yeah, send them in. That's got to be. She's a very cute

little child. The photo, she's a very cute little child. She's a very cute little, a little child. She's a very cute. A little. I. She's, she. She's, she. Oh, she. Oh, she. Oh, she. Oh, she's, she. Oh, she. Oh, she's. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi. Oh, th. they. their, their, th. th. Oh, th. Oh, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, their. Oh, their. Oh, their. Oh, their. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, the the the the the th. the the the the the thi. their. Oh, their. Oh, using it. Oh, this is a lovely name, I'm sure. She's a cute little kid, doing a bit of cross stitch, going down the bridge club, do you know what I mean? Getting bits of Bobbbed in all day. Yeah, it loves VE Day. Oh, I've got a quick IVF email and I can't remember it was wrong, but he really made me laugh. That was a fan the fan than th fan th fan th fan th fan there, the fan went on him and it put him off. Oh my god. That's a cold breeze on his phone.

It was in the old deposit room. Um, let's cut to the chase. Rob, you got any salty emails? We have actually. It's quite a lot of saltiness coming in here. This is a very unsalty Josh, I'm not a fan of it. Oh, go on. So I got started on in the park. So I was there with my personal trainer, right?

Sorry, you were all right though. Why not told you this? No, no, but I'm already laughing. So I was there with my personal trainer, right? Sorry, I don't know, every sentence gets fun of you. Go on. But what exercise you're doing it before as I come over? What was I doing? Chin-ups. Chin-ups? Chin-ups? Okay, fair enough. Yeah, press-ups. So that kind of stuff. On there's like, you know, there's a little bit of equipment, but we weren't totally using it, we're kind of in and about that area. then we did like a rap on one thing and then you know how you go off and you do like another set and then you come back to use it and he was on there and we were

like oh can we use that after you and he totally flipped it was just talking through the bloke you can give us a big bloke. Age? Probably about 40 he was doing you know when big strong people in the gym are doing stuff to try and impress other people to show them how strong they are, like doing really fast press-ups and all that kind of stuff. Yep. And I'd say his... What's his body shape like? What's his body shape like? Yeah, like a triangle? Not as big as the rock but bigger than Jason's Gafan. He lacked the rock's charisma and charm. Right so yeah he's on your bit of equipment. I'd say his personal skills were similar to if you imagine someone who's come back from Vietnam and they've seen stuff that's happened and they've never really recovered from it. That kind of hair trigger that he was on. So he just flipped it was one. it was one of the strange, it was one. It was the rock. It was he. So, right, right, right, right, right, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, he, so, so, he, he, he, he, so, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, so, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he. So, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he. He, he. He, he. So, he. So, he. So, he. So, he. So, he. So, he, he. So, he. So, he, he. So, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he.. That kind of hair trigger that he was on. So he just flipped, it was one of the strangest things.

Like flipped like angry like 1 a.m. outside of kebab shop in a parochial town anger. Oh no. It was so mad. How big is your personal trainer though? She? She, okay. trainer though? She is about the size of me. So it's an unfair fight, he's bigger than both of you. He's bigger than both of us. And it would have felt unfair for me to

tell my personal trainer that she had to fight him. You've got the best engine, so why don't you go first, tie him out, then I'll head by him after. So anyway, he just flipped. He was like, I'm usinganting and it was so mad. And he was like, I'm using the equipment, ruh, right? And then I just calmly said to him, what's this really about? Oh no, you've got him.

I was really pleased with it. Oh, that must have been the equipment, mate. It was like so mad. We basically got bullied off the equipment. We had to leave from. We got bullied off the equipment. When we left, he said, watch out if I see you around here again. It was like, it was absolutely mad. It feels like you're a new school teacher in inner city school and you're getting bullied by the kids at the start. Also it was 9.30 in the morning. What's happened in his day in th in the day th in th in the day th th th th th th th th th th th the day th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We th. We've th. We've hea hea hea. We've he he th th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We we th. We we th. We we th. We we th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've the theeea. We've theateate. We've theateat. We've the. We basically theate. We've the. We basically the. school and you're getting bullied by the kids at the start. Also, it was 9.30 in the morning.

What's happened in his day so far? Oh no. It was one of the maddest things I've ever experienced the mott. But it did make me think, is he just a listener who's trying to get a salty, um, is think that you as well within your rights to be sulted there, Josh. I was totally with him. I've never, ever in my life to be bullied off a piece of equipment at the age of 37. I was bullied in the park rob by the bigger boy at the age of 37. It never stops. Oh, Josh, well, well done for like, stand up for yourself because you don't have a fight of him. I. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi. I thi. I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I was thi, I was thi, I thi, I was thi, I was thi, I was thi, I was thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I I've thi, I I I I I I I I I I I th. I I I I I I I I I I th. I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi, I thi, I've thi, I've thi, I was thi, I was thi, I was to be never never never to be never never to be never never to be never never to be never to be never never to be to be to be to be to be thi, I've never never never thi, I, well, well done for like, stand up for yourself, because you don't have a fight of him. And I was really pleased with asking what it was really about.

I hope that when he closes his eyes at night, he's really going to have a think about that. Right, would you want some unsalty, too salty, Josh. Well, this is a nice message about you, Josh. We've got a listener here. Terry Smith, sounds like a made-up name. Terry Smith, I think I worked with him. Anyway, he said he likes the podcast, blah, blah, blah, blah.

I just want to share a very unsalted Josh story from a few years ago when he started off his tour in Oxford To be honest, Terry, that doesn't help this message. No one cares, but happy birthday anyway. You know, people do that and people go, it was my birthday actually. It's like, no one cares, mate. Do you try to to be fair. Do you guys, to their birthday, Josh? No, to be the worst birthday in the world.

So I've never had a birthday. Yeah, whereas Terry, that would have been a lovely early September. That's a great date. Great day, kids are back in school, got on all day. Let's let someone else pick up. Anyway, he was at the gig, there was a the show and you got on the mic Mr. Unsalty Josh Winnicum and apologized to everyone the show couldn't go ahead because of the lack of power. However, you bought everyone who had a ticket that night a drink from the bar.

Did I? Well yeah, I mean, it's a regret now. Yeah, I mean it's only a 28 capacity that they knew. It was one bottle of wine. No, that's a big. That's, I, I, that's a, that's a, that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a great, that's a great, that's a great, that's a great, that's a great, that's a great, that's a great, that's a great, that's a great, that's a great, that's a great, that's a great that's a great that's a great, that's a great, that's a great. that's a great. that's a great, I'm that's a great. I'm that's a great. That's a great. I's a great. I's a great, I's a great. I's a great. I's a great. I's a great. I's a great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great. That's a great. That's a great. That's a great great great great great great great, I's a great great great great great great great great great, I'm not, I'm a great great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm not, I'm a great, I'm not, I'm a great, I'm a great regret, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I did do that. Yeah, I mean, it's only a 28 capacity that made you. It was one bottle of wine. No, that's a big gig in Oxford. That's a lot of, that's a lot of drinks, John. That's probably, how many, that's probably a thousand people, isn't it, that gig? No, it was a while ago, though, Rob, so it wasn't the one I did this tod... no. It was about six or seven hundred maybe? You bought 700 drinks! Oh Josh! I think, I'm going to be honest, I think the theatre did them for me at cost price.

Oh, to be fair, like, yeah. That's still a little- That's still a little- You're looking at around £50 and $100 there, Josh. So, well, well played. It's very kind of you. I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, that gig and bumping into an audience when I'm in the street and they were so delighted with their free drink.

The implication was that they preferred the free drink to the potential of seeing the show. Well I mean I just think, do you know what, you didn't have to do that? That was just a problem with the venue, because it's not your problem if the venue goes. No. probably if electric goes, you know, so if anything, but you and the venue died. It was on the whole street, the whole street had gone down, Rob. You bought it for the whole street! Josh! I've overtold you my other free drink story, which I didn't buy.

So me and James Akester in a train crash. Oh yeah, so it was the night of the Leaster comedy thing. Oh yeah, bring this up the time time time time time timeinnockham. Even though you've been going two years longer than me, it was a new round competition. Let's not get involved in it. I'm fine with it. I'm over it. Yeah, of course. Dan Bland came second. He beat me. He was not up for doing this podcast with me, but I'm glad you did it. Lovely fellow Dan Bland and he was deadpan as well, wane, w W. Yeah, th, th, th, th, w W. Yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, thi, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. I th. I th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thea, to to to thea'''a'a'a'a'a'a'a'er's that, thoooooo, th well, wouldn't he? Yeah, well I wasn't there in time for his set because I had been in the... Oh yeah, a big big Winnacom turned up late. It'd already done a bit of a telling. My trainer derailed. My trainer derailed, I had not really done a bit of a little.

My trainer derailing, terrifying. Me and James Acaster. I mean the podcasting community you and Ed Gamble will be currently top of the podcast chance together. I would have heard in panel shows if you two got knocked on the ed back in 2011. Can you imagine it? I'd be buying drink to everyone all the time. So we got derailed four hours we had to sit there then we got taken off the train. We had to get walked the other taken off the train, we had to get walked to the other train, which took an hour, and we got on the next train, and they came around and they had the little trolley and they were like, you can have one thing free off it. And a guy took a stellar off it, and he turned to his wife and he went, this is amazing, isn't it? And I was like, are you, are, are, are you, are like, are th.. Are th. Are th. Are th. Are th. Are th. Are th. Are th. Are th. Are th. Are th. Are th. Are thi, are like, are like, are like, are like, are like, are like, are like, are like, are like, are like, are like, are like, are like, are like, are their, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you split up with Lou, but offered her free drinks, you'd take it, mate.

People don't give a shit. The moment there's a free drink sniffing around. Well, do you know what, I've got the train up to when I went to Huddersfield, right? I've got the train up and, yeah, they come around. Normally, if you go first class, you pay more because you obviously there's better seats and stuff and you get food and drink, don't you get, during the week it's like free booze, right? That's part of the deal. Anyway, so I got them there went, oh yeah, it's a limited menu and because of COVID. I was like, okay, okay fair enough. She went so you can have tea, tea, tea, tea, tea, their their their their to have their to have their to have to have their to have their to have to have their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. their their their their their their. And during, and during, during, during, during, during, during, during, during, during, during, during, during, during, during, during, during, during, during, during, during, during, during, during, during, during, during, during, th. And, th. And, during, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. th our fucking Danze house. They spent about 300 quid on this tray ticket. Why can't they put a beer or a little bottle of wine in the same time as they put the water in? Why can't you have a sauna what kind of corona is going to get in a sandwich? Why can't I think what they've done there is they shouldn't have said limited menu they? I.... I. I. I should should should. I. I they. I they. I they they they they they they. I they they they they they they they they're. I they're their. I they're they're they're th. I they're they're they're they're thi. I they shouldn't. I thi. I they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. I they're. I they're. I they're. I they're. I they're. I they're. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm they're th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the. I'm the. I'm th. the. I'm the. thean. I'm the. I'm thean. I'm they're they're they're they're they should have said we're not doing food. There's no menu it's just still water or tea and coffee but they sure anyway

I think it's an opportunity to save money in it but yeah that's what I found ridiculous um yeah salty salt do you any more salties yeah I got another one here so they came down to London for a little touristy trip in 2018 around Christmas time. Anyway there was on the tube and he says th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thu. th. thu. they was on thu-I thu-I thoes. thoes they was on thoes thoes thoes thoes they was on they was on they were was on thoes they's they was on tho-I they're they're they're they're they're they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're the. the. I the. I the. I the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. theeeeeeeee. theeeee. thee they're they're they there was on the tube and he says I couldn't help but notice what appeared to be the one and only Josh Whitakam, seated and alone, but for some reason wearing a pair of bedraggled converse all-stars that he'd probably bought off a hobo outside the station. I don't believe you. You do wear scruffy clothes, Josh. Have you? I don't have scruffy clothes? Have you. I don't want to a a a scoffy. A to a scraffy. A scraffy. I a scruffy. I to to have a scraffy. I a scruffy to have a scoffy. S. S. S. Srify. Sriffied scoffy. I to have a scruffy. Scrified scruffy. I to have scruffy. Scrippy tra stuff. I to to to toozy. S. I toozy. Sishy tra stuff stuff stuff. I toozy. Sy tri clothes. Sy tri clothes. Sy tri clothes. Si clothes. Si clothes. Si tri. Si. Si. Si. Si. Si. Si. Si. Si. S. Sso. Sso. Ssos. Ssouuu. S. Ssou. S. S. S. S. S. Ssou. S. S. S. S. S. S. Skii. Skii. Skii. Skii. Skii. Skii. Skii. Skii. Skii. Skii. Skii. Skii. Skii. Skii. Skii want you to say it's the heart. They love you, they think you're really funny, they always ask for tickets to come and see you that they've watched your DVDs but they say it always looks a bit grubby. Unacceptable. They think you look a bit messy and a bit dirty. How can I'm gonna be honest with you I'm gonna be honest with you since lockdown the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I thi. thi. I th. I's th. I's th. I's te. I's t. I's t. I's t. I's is is t. I's is t. I's is t. I's is t. I's is t. I's is t. I's is is t. I's is t. I's is is t. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. te. te. t. te. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. I'm always always always. I'll. I'm. to be honest with you, since lockdown your parents have got a point.

I reckon my showering has decreased by 50%. No, but I'm the telly this is. And I, do you know what I think it is? Because you're not a dirty person, you're not a smelly person, because there are comics like that, everyone tries to avoid. But your trainers, you need to keep them in better Nick for telling. I don't want to look like Jay-Z like I've gone box fresh. I'll stop me there you'll never look like Jay-Z so don't worry about that. But if you I think you just need some TV trainers because I do that Rob I do that I have my pair of TV trainers. Yeah but they're clean enough. Josh working class people like nice shoes and trainers on people. It might look like you've put an effort in, yeah? So I did Sunday out at the Pladiom

and Rachine Connor, he texts went, my mom can't stop talking about you. I went, oh really? She's like my standup. She went, well, yeah, she didn't really mention the standup. She just kept on saying, Oh, we had a lovely pair of thi shoes, the the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the the tho tho, tho, tho, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, tho, too, too, too, too, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, to, to, and she's, to, to, to, to, to, to to, to to to to to to to to to to too, their, too, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie...... te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. too. te. te. te. te. te. shoes. So the last legs back mid-October, first episode, I'm gonna be in a pair of box fresh trainers. Yes, you know what, I'm gonna say to my mom,

did you watch it? And I reckon they'll go, oh yeah, he looked lovely. I think that's the key. Okay, let's test it. So this is from, and this has been brought that'll be like it. It's not 1997 anymore. You don't look like you're in an indie band. You just look old you don't like you're not earning. Anyway, so you sat there with your terrible shoes on and this guy I'll grab his

name. Mr. Fox. Do you know what I should do? I'll put a photo now of my current trainers that I was wearing this morning. Yes please please. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. Do thi. Do thi. th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do it th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thrainers that I was wearing this morning. We can put them on the Instagram. Yes, please send them to me and I bang them up. And people can judge you don't do Instagram like I have to do it if you like you're my man. I'll be honest they look like the trainer version of you know the shoes in Shawshank redemption that he puts in the box at the end. Yeah right. So we'll put tho them them them them them them them them their their their their their their their their their. So we'll put their. So we'll put their. So we'll put their. So we'll put their. So we'll put their. So we'll put their. So we'll put their. So we'll put their. So we'll put the up. So we'll put the up. So we'll the up. So we'll the up. So. So we'll. So. So. So we'll. So. So. So. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, th. So, th. So, th. th. th. they. th. they. they's. they. they. they. I their. I's. I's. I's. So, the., anyway, you're on the train. Rachel, my girlfriend and I, big fans of their last leg. So they gestured with a nod to indicate something of interest behind her. She took a sly glance. Also, when you say a sly glance, it's never a sly glance. It's never a sly glance, it's the most obvious.

It's the most obvious, think. Have you ever noticed? Yeah. Very, very obvious. Anyway, she took a sly glance back and looked back at me with a joyous glint in her eye. Is that Josh? she said, I confirmed it was. And she said, shatter, should I say hi? Now, being an out of towner in the big scaryto anyone and for safety this includes people you are riding with, especially if it's a celeb of any stature, especially if they have their head in a book and especially if they also have their headphones in. Now Josh Rinnockham this... Headphones in. Headphones in and a book out. I mean the only other thing you can have is VR goggles goggles on. I just love culture Rob. I just love culture. I'm their. I thau c. I tholculture. I just th. I just to th. I just th. I to th. I just to th. I th. I just th. I just th. I just th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I thu. the the thus. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their their. I their th. I th. I th. I thea. A. A. A. S. Sinoea. Sinoea. Sinoea. Sinoea. Sinoea. Sinoea. Sinoea. Sinoe. I th. I th. I th. A. I just love culture. I'm music. I've got book. I'm just... That screams to me, yes, I'm on the tube. Don't even dare fucking talk to me. Headphones in and a book screams that I'm not here to communicate, didn't it? Yeah, yeah. I can't even read.

You hear it's not great. I was listening to an audio book of the book I was holding. That's the way I do it. Yeah, just scan along and try and put it all together. See if they've missed a word. So I must have done that at some point. Oh, we didn't say that there. Anyway, so back to Josh, a house I'd still have sitting on the tube, mind his own business in his trampies, reading a book, the book, the book, the book, the book, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, see, see, their, see, their. their, see, see, see, see, their, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their.............. their..... And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, is. their. their. their. t. t together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. Anyway, so he didn't want to say hello he felt embarrassed so he said at this point I'd rather have been playing knock-and-run with Oscar Pistorius as it would have been safer. So a little bit of a joke about death there. So Mr. Fox we haven't got his first name. It is very anti his wife Rachel having a chat. Anyway so as she turned and spoke that no one speaks in the tubeube. Soo. Some. Some. So. So. So. So, so. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so I I I's, so, so, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I I's, I I I I's, I I I's, I I I I I I I I I I I I's, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I, I I, I, I I, I, I, I, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's to, I's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to too, too, too, toed, too, too, to to to to to to to that no one speaks in the tube and She's had to speak slightly louder and normal to make a voice heard over the unknown volume of the music in his ears

Hi Josh, I just had to take this chance say how much of a fan we are and how much we love the last leg and then it happened Josh slowly lowered his book and closed it without even insert in a bookmark So you're not reading the eye and judge. He removed his earbars one at a time, then proceeded to engage in a wonderful conversation with rage and thanked her for acknowledgement and recognition. I don't know if that was your direct words. That's quite a thank you for the acknowledgement and recognition. But I think that's what you implied.

He was an absolute delight and even put up pose for the attached photo. I said, what's this really about? Anyway, thank you Josh would be completely unsalted. I only wish I'd see you again late in the day. So I pointed out, pointed you in the direction of the pre-Christmaster, Soul Trader, where they had 70% off men's shoes. All right, there's only for the slam at the end the end the end. And thiiiiiiiiiiii. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's that's thi. thi. that's that's that's that's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's th. What's, what's, what's th. What's th. th. th. th. What's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's thate. that's that's thate. that's thateateate. th. thateateau. What's thateate. What's thate. What's thate. What's that 70% off men's shoes. All right, there's only for the slam at the end. And it's a very cozy pre-Covid pick. I'll send it to you on the group. They look very, like when you ever see anything now that's like pre-covid. Even if you're just watching a TV show, it feels weird.

It feels weird. It's mental, to see. Yeah it's mental, but yeah, so they loved you. You're a lovely guy. Oh, very nice. Thank you. You're not salty at all. That's the answer. Well, let's see. Let's see. Yeah, thanks for emailing. There's so much stuff coming. We're trying to get through it also. Don't worry if we've not read yours out responded, but it's in a good way. Good way. So keep sending it in because some, you know, some of it is, you know, dreadful. But most of it's great. We do read them all.

Thank you very much. They're generally, it's so nice to hear that people are engaged, a little too engaged, but there we go. Thank you very much. 'll be back on Tuesday. Oh we've got a banger of an ep. Who we got? The one the only Peter Crouchy Crouch. He's got four children. Four children. Peter Crouch, England legend, Cannot Wait, podcasting legend. See them. Bye.