Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S01 EP44: "I want a dog...."

Episode Date: September 25, 2020

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' - S01 EP44: "I want a dog...."More misadventures in parenting from Josh and Rob.Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, I'm Josh Riddickham. And I, Rob, to the te. The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. So in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation. And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. Hello and welcome to lockdown parenting hell with...

So can you say Josh Widdicum? Josh Widdickham. And Rob Beckett. Rob Beckett. Oh, good one. Double it up. Double it up. We've got a Dornow Porter on on Tuesday, and that's a bit similar to the way they've

amalgam their names. Yes, it was it Rob Beckettikom. If we got married and have children, I th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, Josh, Josh, I, Josh, th, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, I'd th, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, I, I, Josh, Josh, I, I, Josh, I, I, th, Josh, I, I, th, th, th, Josh, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I thed, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thiii, thi, thiiiii, thii, thi, thi, thi, I thi, I to the way they've amalgamated their names. Yes, it was it Rob Becker de Com? If we got married and have children, I think, I mean, I think personally, our name would be the least of our problems. There'd be lots of sort out, two divorces. I think we would get record figures though for the podcast. Can you imagine that episode? So me and Josh have been having an affair, we're getting married and having a kid and we're going through two divorces. Anyway, we caught up with Gary Linneker, who's going to tell us about his lockdown? Imagine if we just did it as the intro to an interview?

Yeah, and it just carried on. How are you, Rob? I'm all right, actually, yeah, pretty good. You know, the kids have sort of gone back full time to school now. And it was like the Sunday and I was like, you know, you get that sort of like overwhelmed feeling of anxiety, but I've got this stuff to do, but over the weekend you couldn't do it and I had this massive, what felt like this insurmountable to-do list on my phone of stuff, and I thought, once it gets to Monday,

and I've done the school the school the school the school school get them up from Squirrel, I carry on for a couple more hours and get it all done. But like as soon as the kids are at the house, I did everything I need to do in about 19 minutes. But on the Sunday I was just like, it was like, no it just grows in your head. This stuff that doesn't even exist. And once you've got to go out the house, you've had a coffee and you think chalkboard for the fridge to write things to do on it and two of them are text someone like that's one way to do this and they've been on there for about four or five days. Who are you texting? Plummer. All right fair yeah that's that's not just a text is it like what has been left for a bit because it's not just like how has it go mate it like opens up a whole chain of

communication about something you've got no idea about Robert doesn't open up a chain of communication the amount they replied to my text I could tell you that for free. Okay and what is the issue in your house because you've had a tales my spoiler get in the loft? We're getting the loft the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the the the the the to the the the to the to the to to the the the the to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tha. tha. tha. I I. I. I. I'll. I'll. te. te. te. te. te. te. too. too. I. toe. I. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I's. I. We're getting the loft turned into, it's the onsweet in the loft. Oh, we just, it's ready for the next stage. Oh, okay. What are you putting up? Because we're just getting it done. Oh, lovely.

Look at you, look at you have, get an unsweetenance plumbing. No, no, we've had an onsweet. Oh, we maintenance plumbing. Well, it's more of a, you know. What are we fucking going on about? This, this, no one's listening to this shit. I know what? No, no, no, no, no. You know what? You know what? What's it we talk? Even I'm bored and I'm in the conversation!

Jesus Christ! Do you know what that here, Rob? That sounds like how. You know, like a 50-year-old bitter comic who imagines young comics. That's how he imagines it. Just two people boringly talking about nothing. Oh, when did you stop listening to it? I think it was the episode where they was talking about Josh's plumbing, basically.

I've got some stuff for you. I've got one in. I still not send the text though, have I? Do it now. Text him now. 10. What day is it? No, it's Friday, Robert, it's Friday. Oh, we don't do this live, calm down. I had that said to me once, you know, I do the voice-saver, the celebs go dating. Yeah.

And it's not on at 9 o'clock every night on E4 like Monday to Friday. And I was playing five and a to nine. And we said, we played eight to do the voice of the thing, you're going to make it or you're going to be late? Absolutely unbelievable. I was in Crystal Panthers for like five to nine. I went, oh yeah, oh yeah, the recording studios around there, that's why I just do it after football, that's why I play football. Oh really? Oh yeah, yeah. So I better go mate. Don't want to keep chatting I got to the tev. It's just the video the video video video video video video video video video video to to the video video video video video the video video the video video to the video the video the video the video video the video the video video the video the video video the video video video the video the video the video the video the video the video show show live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live. to to to to to to to to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the show. the show. the show. the show. the. the. the. the. the. the. home. Oh yeah. Is it related to a new on-sweet? It's relating to parenting. Oh, I've got something to tell you, by the way.

It isn't parenting related, and then we'll get on to the parenting. All right, okay. Is it as exhilarated as the last chat? Well, I don't know if I've toldging on Saturday. Oh yeah! Got to the bottom of the stairs in the, you've done always be comedy, James Gill's gig, I'm sure. Yes, in a nice pub in Oval. Yeah, the Tommy Field, which is a kind of gastro pub with an upstairs room. Obviously, mask on, in I go.

Bottom of the stairs, quicker pump on the old, the hand hand sanitizer they've left out. Yep. And it was it was one of those pump action mayonnaisees. So I just confidently walked into the pub. I went over to mayonnaise, text smoking slipping out your little helmet's hand. So how much did you squirt? Well, I'd say probably half a squirt because you get the initial and then you obviously realize you don't continue once you realize. So I'd say half a squirt. Like a ten pence piece worth.

Yeah, enough that it was troubled. Rubbed it in, obviously and I haven't got COVID so maybe it's doing the job. Did you rub it in? No I got a napkin. See that's the difference to him you would have licked it off. What just pure mayo? Yeah just straight in. We knew you were done you wouldn't do it? No I don't think I because I actually think that would have looked even worse to a bystand in the pub if I walked in. Is that your like like like like like like like like like like like like the the the the to the to to the to the to the to the to the to the the to to the the to the to to the to to to to look to to look to look to look to look to th th. I was to look to look to look to look to look to look to have to have to look to have to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho. I. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I got the the the the the the. I got. I got too. I got too. I thethe pub. If I walked in. Is that your pre-match ritual? Walked over to the Mayo, splurted someone into my hand, taking my mask off, eating the Mayo,

and then warmed upstairs. You know, some footballers do the cross, the Catholic cross or, you know, touch the grass. Oh, Whitakum, pump a mayo, yep, there there. they. they. they. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thum. thum. thum. thum. tho. the the tho. tho. tho. thoom. Yeah, tho. too. too. too. Yeah, too. Yeah, too. Yeah, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, yep, there we go. Oh God, that's, you don't need that, that's because you was thinking about it. Do you still do that weird little thing you do before gig where you get water and you tap it on your wrists and on your, like, is it your temple? On my face, to call myself down.

I don't really like the first couple of shows of a tour, but by six or seven tour shows in once I'm dead behind the eyes, I don't need to do it anymore. Six or seven, come on, man. But no, I'm not going to bring the Mayo in as part of my pre-match, because you can't bring a pump around from the theatre to theatre. I could just get those little sach. Yeah. Yeah those those those those th. Yeah th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho the or the or the or the or the or the or the or tho thoes or the little thoes or the or theateate or tho-I tho-I th. Six or six or six or six or six or six or six or six or six or six or six or six or six or six or six or six or six or six or six or six or six or six or six or six or six or six or six or six. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'm theateateate. Six or th. I's six or th. I'll th. I'm six. Six or six or six or six or six or six. I'm six off you, go. They're normally free anyway, no one's going to judge you if you take them. Sorry, parenting. Yeah, the worrying development in our house, okay. So now the current Sitch, five-year-old is, four and a half-year-old, is in primary school five days a week and then three days a week in preschool for the two and a half year old, nine till three, okay? And Wednesday of last week, my wife Louise said to me, I want a dog, I miss my babies in the day.

No, no. Haunting me about that was like, I miss my babies during the day. She's not called them babies. They're not babies. They're not babies. They're not babies. I want a dog. I want a dog. A and I've had a picture of a different dog each day from my wife Ask him what I want. I don't want a dog Josh. I don't even want a dog. I don't even want a dog dog. to have your life back. Yeah, and I'm gonna be the silly bastard that walks it and clears up all the dog mess

Well, that's you've been clearly on a ship in the last five months mate, but like there also. It the the there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. thi thi's thi's tho. tho. tho. thi's tho. tho. tho. to to be to be tho. to tho. tho. to to to to to th. th. to th. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. to. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to to. I'm to to to tog. I don't to to to to to to to to to to to to of ship for the last five months mate. But like there also is going to be a point for instance the weekend where the dog isn't replacing the babies, it is working in tandem with the babies. Ganging up. It's ganging up. How big are you going to get the dog? By the way, just to be clear, you are getting a dog? I'm not getting a dog. No, right. I said, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I said, I'm th. th. th. th. thi, I'm thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. that, that, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that that the the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi getting a dog. No right I said this is the start of me getting a dog now isn't it what I've said I said I'd only entertain it when they're both in primary school five days a week and also secondly the eldest doesn't like dogs she hates so I don't know if I've told this story the youngest loves dogs okay with a the youngest I'm gonna. Like a little kid's face okay. T what you know, an Alsatian lick its face, okay, which is very unadvisable. Don't let a kid do that, but you have to pull her away from dogs because she wants to jump all over them, okay? The other one, I was driving, there's a lovely little old granddad looking dog,

you know, my little beardy once, it gets tired up outside of school near her house. And every time we drive past, the youngest one, the youngest one, the youngest, the youngest, the youngest, the youngest, the youngest, the youngest, the youngest, the youngest, the youngest, th, the youngest, th, th, th, th, th, the youngest, th, the youngest, the youngest, the youngest, the youngest, the youngest, the youngest, the youngest, the youngest, th, their the youngest, the youngest, the youngest, their, their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, their thoggooo, thoggo, thoggoy, thoggoy, thoggoy, thoggoy, thoggoy, tho, thoggoy, their that and I said oh look at the doggy like that and the oldest one it was quiet in the car out of knowledge when I hate dogs. Oh wow yeah so you've not got a child both of your child have got unhealthy relationships with dogs yeah different ways it's like ones that addic to one's in recovery so the thought of bringing in a dog into that situation is going to be absolute carnage awful Awful, and it's not fair on the one that hates dogs. So we just said, when they're both in school and then we could talk to them about it, and if they're into it, then we might do it. But that's me trying to get out of it. But the other option is she thought about getting a job, Rob? Yeah, you wish your baby's in the day, how about you go work? Yeah, yeah.

Or she could get a job in a pet shop, win, win, win. Yeah, exactly, get a job in a pet shop. Look, I'll go be a dog walker. But I'm not, I don't want Lou to get a job, but she's going to go back. I'm going to attract that. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. I just just. I just. I to just. I to just. I to to to to to be to to the the to to be to be the to the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I. I their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I their. Yeah. I. I. I. Yeah. I. I. I the to go back to work when they're both in private this is I'm going to attract that leaving just leaving you and the dog yeah like Turner and Hooch in the house together I'm just sorry about that barking in the background it's me and the dog I didn't want oh oh why they just cheered me up I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber 1 for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers. Up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cash back on rides.

Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think University is for. Get Uber one for students. Get Uber one for the to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just 499 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. The other thing that's going on Josh as well is I would ask your opinion this and our listeners. Basically I don't know whether to correct my kids anymore with stuff. For example when we went down to correct my kids anymore with stuff. For example, when we went down to visit my mom and dad, there was those bungalows, right,

near where they lived, and I expect there wasn't, what's that little house, well, it's not a little house, it's a bungalow, because it's not a bungalow, bungalow, bunga, the house, they go to a bungalow. And I go, no it's not a bungalow, it's got two floors, but it is a bungalow. So now I've just started going, yeah, it's a nice bungalow, isn't it? Yeah, of course. We've all been there. Yeah, so what, you can't just give in to all the time, but then you can't, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, to to to care, to to to to to to to to to to to to care, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tha, tha, tha, throwne. the throwne. the the the the. the the. throooooooooooooooooo, to the tha. it, so I've heard a thing, I remember this, which is, so if they pronounce something wrong, yeah. So if they call a house a bungalow, you'd go, yes, it's a lovely house. So you're kind of correcting them, but you're not overruling them, and then over time they'll learn it's a house. So they'd go, that's a lovely bungalow, and you thue. And you thue, thue, thian, thian, thian, thian, thian, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, that, that, thrown, thrown, thrown, thin, that, that, that, thrown, that, that, thi, 'd go, that's a lovely bungalow and you go, yeah it's a lovely house, you

idiot. Oh, you meant that. I meant that. I know that. But you know what I mean? But you know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, so I don't know whether that. But it's a way of if they were pronouncing house, they're though. the other. thinininininininin. It's, thoe. It's, thoe, tho. tho. It's, tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. It's, tho. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's tho. It's tho. It's tho. It's tho. It's a too. too. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. You. the. You're that mouse, you wouldn't go, yeah, that is a lovely mouse. You'd go, yes, it's a lovely house, if that makes sense. Yes, okay, so I'll do that.

Because the other game they'll play at the moment, they go, dad was your favorite color and I go, like red, and then if something red goes past, go, you, you win. And then if so, I'm yellow, it's yellow, I goes, I's yellow, I was, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the, the, the, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their. their. the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, It's a worst game of ever... What are we doing? Who's ours ever... So we've all won. Come on guys, have you heard a war zone? Can't we just play that? Go to Monopoly? That is a bad game. That's an awful game. Unless they would have... I hate Monopoly. Um, ease off Josh. We might have come in. They might come in. Yeah. Do you want some emails? Oh, yes, please, Joshua. It's the lockdown parody mail bag. But it's actually emails and there's no bag.

Now, do you remember the discussion of the Munchkin 360? Which still makes me laugh as a name. What is it a, uh... It's a sex position. And uh... What would that look like? It's got to be shoulders up to the ears, spotted. Did it?

Someone's on top, shoulders to the ear, squat up and down, 3,000 times. So the Munchkin 360 is the cup that the person didn't realize their kid was drinking from the moldy cup? Because they did... Oh, yep. Hi Josh. Rob. Just listen to your to your the to your the to your, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it looks, it's like, it, it's like, it, it's, it, it's, it's, it's. It's. It's, it's. It's. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. It's, it's that, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's that's that's that's that's that's got that's got that's got like, it's got like, it's got like, it's got that's got that's got that's that's that's that's that's that from the moldy cup because they did. Oh yeah. Hi Joe, this is from Nick Roberts. Hi Josh Rob, just listened to your email regarding the Munchkin 360. We went to visit friends in February who have a similar age child to ours three and 18 months. Whilst having dinner a couple of drinks I noticed a look of horror on my wife's face. I asked her what was wrong. She mumbled on her breath everything was fine. It was only only their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. th. Just. Just. Just. I'm. only on the journey home that she told me that she'd noticed that our friends had the Munchkin 360 that our boys have, but theirs was on the training board disassembled with the rubber lip detached from the lid. When we got home,

we immediately took the cup apart to find a layer of scum that had grown over the last three years. Oh no! Oh! This is like, this, this, this, this, this, this, th a, thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, their, thirty, thirty, their, their, their, thoom, th. th, th, th, th. th. the, thu, thu, their, their, their, their, their, their, thu, thu, thu, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thoooooooooooooooooomu. And, theeeeeeeee, thu. thee, This is like, this is like a public service announcement. If you've got, I don't want to get like sued by the Munch. I'm like, I don't, we're in very tricky position here. What what I should say is, I'm sure that if you were to read the instructions, thi. the cup, everything is covered. th lie Rob. That's not the only email we've got about this, but I'm not going to read them all out. Is it a thing? The one, okay, so

this is a public service message. I want to tread delicately here. It has been alleged that if you do not clean the munchunchunchunchunch. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that th. the, that if the, th. th. th. that's that's not that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that, Rob. that, Rob. that, Rob. that, Rob. that, Rob. That's that's that's th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the instructed in the manual there may be a residue. Which would happen with anything that you didn't clean? Yeah, if you didn't clean my asshole, it'd be a right misdemean there. But I do. Well, we've got some emails about that as well. Lou disassembles here on the draining board and removes the rubber lip and I'm ready to go again. So guys, if you any, this is what we've done. We've actually, because we had, I counted 12 different plastic cups and straws thing, right? And probably they all just end up tasting

up plastic and all get a bit leaky and stuff like that. So we've got rid of them all and we just bought two good ones. This is not a sponsor, but these Yeti ones and they're really good and you can take them apart and wash them and they are just their their. their. their. their. their. And their. And their. They are just. They are just. They're their. They're their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. t. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. and you can take them apart and wash them and they are just their drinks indoors now unless they want cups right there's no other plasticy ones and stuff like that but all I'm saying is just if you've just if you've got plastic cups guys give them a good wash them a good wash that's what we're saying we're not in any way making any points about any specific cups give all cups the wash they deserve. Yes, also I would like to suggest if you are into a bit of mold investigations, there's two other locations you'll be able to find some. You know the little mat you have in a bath, so the kids don't slip over, flip that over, absolute mold hell.

Oh, I bet. And also the kids' plastic toys of the bath, water gets in there. You don't really clean them. and dry properly. That needs to be chucked out every three months at least I'd say. Let us know if you've got any other places where you're finding mold. It's quite a plumbing, water heavy app. It is, it is. I do need to text my plumber actually. But I will update people on that. Now could we hear the sweet Dulse at tones? Miss Macy Gray. Now you remember we discussed Macy Gray having children in swift succession and asked for people... Yes, she's known for it if anything. Yes I'm not a parent but love the podcast. I list a Friday's podcast where

you spoke about somebody having two children 10.5 months apart and a no a family that can beat that. Oh my boyfriend's colleague had four children in eight months. What? They had a daughter December 2010. Funny name. They had a daughter. Just a bit fun. Just a bit. It's a classic. I mean that after the club in chat we had. We're on fire again. I mean there's no rest for us. They had a daughter December 2010 and then fell pregnant almost immediately afterwards with triplets who were born prematurely in August 2011. Oh wow.

All of the children are in the same school year, and they've struggled to find a place that would take all four of them. Oh, bloody hell. That is brutal, isn't it? They've attached a article about it from women's own as if I wouldn't believe. Did I say the author's name because she's just read the paragraph saying please don't use my name, which I'd implore people to put at the start of all of their emails? Yes, 100% that needs to be the first thing you say before you tell us about you found a rat in your **** too. We're gonna have the m-a-a-crew on our case, man.

I think what we should do is we'll bleep what we found the rat in and people couldn't decide for themselves what you said. But we could do a full bleep in episode. Because a couple of CUNTs slipped into an episode. Yeah, I do apologize.. I'm quite pro the C she was annoyed, she just wanted to make me clear. Just wondered if I'd noticed. I'm quite pro the sea word, actually. But some people like, oh, it might put them off their breakfast.

And you think, oh, you're boring, thea. Imagine not being had to eat your cornflates, because someone said a word. Well, exactly. You've got really. they. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. I. I. I. I. I. their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm tha. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm really. I'm really. I'm going. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm the the the the the the the the th. I'm to. I'm to. I'm not to. I'm not to. I'm to. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm th. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the balance. I'm not having a guy at your mom, I don't know what she eats, corn flakes, cocoa pops, whatever she found. No, it's fine. Honestly, it's not ruined at breakfast. Oh good. This is, I'll say it's from Natalie Corn, but I'll probably have to take that out at the end. Just listen to the bit about three kids in 2.5 years, compelled to email you. This didn't happen to me, thank tho. to to th th. to th. th. th. th. their their their. their. tho. their. tho. tho. their. their. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. too. too. to. their. too. to me. to me. to, I's, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll. I'll. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm toe. I'm. I'm toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm toe. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I went to NTT. All the couples had the first child of January to February. Then a few months later, one of the couples announced they're expecting again. Even bigger shot came when they went to the first scan to be sold they were expecting twins. In a nutshell, therefore, some was born Feb twenty-seventon and their identical daughters were

born in the December of the same year. Three kids ten months. Three kids ten months. They should get that. That would be such a funny thing for them like on someone's moaning about the kid and they've got like one kid they just walk into conversation. Three kids ten months. Take that. It's not winging. Now Rob you've discussed kids parties. We were discussing them being the Danish way. Yes so would you like to know the Mozambique way? Oh, I was just saying that this morning that I'd like to know. You were just saying that. Yeah. And Jude has come through for you. Come on Jude. I've got three kids eight, ten and sixteen. I was listening to Friday's episode about birthday parties. I noticed your astonished your astonished. their thor will stop accompanying their children's birthday parties. Just be thankful that chaperoning very young kids to parties is

the norm in the UK. In Mozambique where I live it's completely acceptable, indeed expected, to invite about 10 children to your party and to experience the following. Anything up to about 50 people of various ages, including many unaccompanied kids turning up about three hours after the party's start time and staying until well into the night. It's highly likely that you won't even know some of the attendees. They'll be extended family, or very possibly some neighbors who happen to hear the music

and fancied popping over. No way! Oh my God! This is the best bit. I've even been to a funeral where standing around the grave as the body was being lowered into the ground. Someone next whispered to me, who died? Really? They just love a meetup. Yeah, she says in Mozambique people just love a get-together, kids party funeral, whatever happens to be going on. Oh my God, I mean, what's the social distancing like there at the moment? I don't know what the COVID situation is in Mozambique, but that sounds like an absolutely breeding ground-free. So that's Boland, to be fair, that is, I don't know if it's like, it's a class thing as well where like, when I was growing up, people would just thu., people thu., people thu. people thu. people thu. people thu th th th th th th thu. People thu. People th thu. People th thu. People thu. People thu. People thu thu thu thu thr- thrown that the the the, people th th th th th th th their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their their, that, the the the the throooooooooooooo to today, the the the the the theat the I grew up in Devon. We didn't have a front door key. We didn't need it. The house was permanently unlocked because there was no crime. So we'd just go out

and leave the house, the house that night was open. Really? And we'd go out and leave that. We go on holiday for two weeks and the house would just be open. Oh no. Yeah, I grew up in South the Sundern that is not an option. No, no. But I remember coming home. I should just say that my parents' house is no longer operating those policy. I remember coming home once. My mom and dad were like downstairs watching tell. It went upstairs and I was just like, one of my neighbors were just in my room playing on my PlayStation. Is like, you're all, Rob? theymeau, Rob. th. th. Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's, thi, thi, th. I was, th. I was, the the the the the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. I, their. I, their. I, their. I, their. I's, their, their, their, their, their, their. I's, their. My, thi. My, thi. My, thi. My, thoooooooooooooo. My parents, th. My, th. My parents, th their, th th thi. My, ambique is not the place for you? It's my spiritual home.

Do you know what though? I think if you're aware that's the vibe, I mean it could be quite a nice community thing, but if you're not aware that's the vibe and you've just arrived, that is an awful awakening, but I would love to know the different kids birthday cultural experiences all around the world. We've heard the Danish way. I think I'm quite an efficient person though, Josh.

Yeah, I think I get it bish-bash-bosh done. I'm a very bish-bash-bosh person. That's why I quite like the Danish way. For that for me, there's too many unknowns there of people that I wouldn't want to talk toidy up her? No, that is a good way. I think obviously child's bedtime is a very good way of getting rid of people. Three in the afternoon. I better get him down for the night. Just get yourself out. It's not locked. I'm from Devon. Child's bed time is a good way to get rid of them. Do you know what I've started doing? So long since I've socialized. Well, yeah, exactly something really thing like,

but what I used to do? You know, you sort of like a family member just to turn up and they're just out to say they're welcome. I started getting, I used to call them for coffee, right, so a little cup. So you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you normally you normally you normally you normally you normally you normally you normally you normally you normally you normally you normally you normally you normally you normally you normally you normally you normally you normally you normally you normally you normally you normally you normally you normally you know, you normally you know, you normally you know, you normally you normally you normally you normally you normally you normally you normally you know, you normally you normally, you know, you normally you normally you normally you normally have you normally have you normally have you normally have, you normally have, you normally have their, you normally have you have you have their their their their their to have you have your, you have your, you have you have you have you have you have you have you have you have you have you have you have you have you have you these little ones from IKEA and they're like sort of like two gulpers. They're really small but bigger than an espresso but smaller than a normal cup of mugger tea, right? Yeah. So I call them a fuck off he cuffs so that they they'll fuck off. You know what cup I give them if I want them to fuck off? What's that? Well I can't say the brand but the most the old mold milker

we're gonna get sued by him we'll beat that one and people could judge for themselves what we're tell you what the attraction episode it'll be great yeah I know I'm not so I'm saying I know exactly the cup they mean she just wasn't into it but if she had been we'd have cleaned it as as specified in the instruction yeah of course as instructed by the head home chose that's I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I that that that the the the the the they they they the they the they they they they they they the they the they they they they the the they they the they they they they they they the they the the the they the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their, we'd have cleaned it as specified in the instructions. Yeah, of course, as instructed by the head home chose at... Anyway, so that'd be good to know other places around the world or what they do for this. Yes. I'd have to know what it's like in Asia in the sort of like Japan.

I imagine that's a very efficient situation. I think that's what is interesting about this. Are there people listening in other parts of the world to whom are weired British customs with parenting sound absolutely mad? Yes. And what way do you do it that you think is a better or worse way than we do it? Yeah, that's great. I mean to be fair we probably could have had that conversation off air and tied it up into a 10 second amount of podcast, you know, we did it. We got there in there in there in there in there in there in there in there in there in there in there in there in there in there in the their their their their their their their in it. We got there. We got there in the end. We got there in the end. I've got some salty emails, Josh, unless you've got some more.

Oh, yeah, let's salt me up. I've got a non-salty and salty Rob Beckett story. Myselfelfelf, myself and friends that managed to get tickets to a wa' ticket, to to their, their, their, tick, their, their, tip, tip, their, their, tip, their, thi, thi, thi, their, their, thi, their, their, their, their, we got, we're, the, we got their, we got their, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their.......... their. their. their. tho, their. tho, tho, tho, their. tho, their. their. their. their. they. th. they. their. their. their. their. th. tho. I's. I's. tho, th Bloomsby Fearish in London. In the audience with several comedians. We spotted Rob Beckett walking to his seat. Instead of bothering Rob, by talking to him, we decided to tweet him. The slightly cheeky tweet, mentioned that we were at Bloomsbury, watching David Brent live. We also thought Rob, would be taller. So he's twea the back. Once the tweet was sent we could see Rob get his phone out, laugh and show his friend his phone, then Rob to have to like a reply saying, I'm just really far away, which is even funny, and we were literally standing right behind me. Lovely bit of business. Anyway, a few months later, we were talking about this encounter at a friend's barbea, to bring up the tweet, to their their their their their their their their their their their their the tweet on Sam's Twitter to show the other people present only to find that Rob had gone back to the tweet and deleted the comment. How salty! Mark later buzzard. So what's going on there Rob? Do you know what happened?

Basically, you know what I got I did a couple of Saturday night shows to the BBC. Yeah, they've made you delete all your salty tweets? No, I did it in case I'd said something awful about gingerspice or Lorraine Kelly. Yeah, because we do know comedians that close to us that have been caught with old tweets. Yes, not naming any names. Not naming any names. Not naming any names. But that's all got settled. They're fine now. But yeah, so that's all got settled. They're fine now. But yeah, that's that I that's all that's all that's all that's all that I I that I that's all the I the I the I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. We th. We the. We the. We the. We the. We the. We the. We the. We the. We the the the the the the the the the the. We the. We tho tho tho th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We do th. We do th. We do the. We do the. We do the. We do to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to theea. We do th photo of Deli Alley in a cardigan in the bathroom, that kind of stuff, you know, you don't need it. So that's why, so I wasn't being salty, that is just... No. I think all of my old, I think, but we're both with the same agent, or agency, I think they came to me about it two years ago, and they're like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I. And they. they. they. thi. thi. thi, I's, thi, thi, I's, I's, you're, you're, you're, you. thi, you. thi, you. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so, so. So, so, so, so. So, so, so. So, so, so, so. So, I.. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm. that, I'm. that's. that's. th. that's. th. th. years ago or something. But I think it's a good shout because the stuff changes so much,

something that would have been okay 10 years ago to say, that can then be reproduced a paper taken out of context, could just ruin your career. Especially or that, you know, you hate him to get my lawyers involved. I actually got involved in a long debate on Twitter about a brand of Charles Cup that actually ended up with me having to get my lawyers involved. So yeah, also Josh, I've had a few bits of correspondence about some of our listeners

that follow me and follow the podcast and Instagram have been getting messages from a creepy little imposter pretending to be me. Oh so guys, if you got a message from, and he called it, because my name's Rob Beckett Comic, he's called himself and he used all my same pictures, Rob Beckett Com, full stop and a C, okay? Oh, right? And this is what he's been sending to people. So if you've had this message, I apologize, but I do think you can tell it's not from me, okay? Yeah. First of all, hey, hey, hey, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th thi, to thi, thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thoo. tho can tell it's not from me, okay? First of all, hey sweetheart, I don't say sweetheart, but it's something you may think I would say. Do you think? Yeah, I can, I buy that. Yeah, I'm married, I'll always address all women as mate just to be on the safe

side. I think that's the rule, isn't it now? Yeah, you usually call the munchkin, don't you? Munchkin 180, let's see how it goes. Hopefully we can progress. Hey, sweetheart, thanks of being a great fan, and also thanks for your likes and comments under my fan page. I have been monitoring your page and I can see you're a true fan. May God continue to bless you. Pray in hands, Red Heart. May God continue to bless you sounds like you're about to assassinate them. Yeah I mean I'm not a religious guy either Josh I would never offer God's blessing without you know checking with him first. Him upstairs. So how has

this been brought to your attention? Well first of all my wife was sent a very awkward message from one of her good friends thinking that I was trying it on with her. It's Rob okay, what's going on? I usually thought I shouldn't have pushed for the dog so early as the kids going back to school. Yeah, but it was yeah so which it wasn't the case which but it was a very awkward first five minutes and I was like, I've probably been hacked... panicking but I wouldn't have said that anyway. Yeah but yeah and then loads other people did and then we got it taken down in the end so sorry if you've had a weird little message. That's that is superb. Do you want a question Rob? Oh please. So this is from Adam in Essex. Here is my question. I am due to become a dad in March 2021. Once the baby is here, what are the things that I can do, open brackets, out of the norm,

close brackets, in your experience the mum will really appreciate. Now I would say genuinely, not this isn't out of the norm, but I think the role of the dad is really in those first couple of months you've just got to do everything you can to make life as easy as possible for the mum who's got to do things that you physically can't. Yes, get the house as tidy as possible, all the little jobs done. All the little jobs, text the plumber. Text the plumber. Wash out the Munch give 360. Do all of that stuff. I think another thing is to remember how dehydrating it is to breastfeed so you'll constantly need

to keep them topped up with water that made the wife sound like a goldfish. Yeah. But what I would recommend on that is a lot by one of those large jugs with a lid so they've got a constant two liters of water with them when they're stuck with a baby on them. Could I say what I think what I think is quite a good technique which sort of may just be a saying is I don't I think if you want to breastfeed fine if you don't want to breast feed fine up to you right I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm to I'm to I'm to I'm to I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the to the the the the the their their their their their th th th the the the the the the the the the the the thea the the thea they they're they're they're they're they're they don't want to breastfeed fine up to you right I'm not going to get bogged down in that debate is that to his wife if you want to get involved Adam go for it mate if you can do yeah just do it Adam you to manage to breastfeed as well there's money to be made from those kind of

magazines like best and stuff that weird yeah yeah take a break you know you you could be semi famous inameless in dentist waiting rooms. But what I'd say is I do think whether they're being breastfed or it's not, it's formula. One bottle of formula in the middle of the night, I think fills up the kid and lets the mom sleep. And I think that's a very underrated thing and that you can do that. Because if you're not, if they're already on formula, but if you just give one bottle of formula in the middle of the night, it means your wife or a partner can sleep properly and be better in the morning to deal with everything. I'd also think it's quite good to sort of encourage your partner to walk to the shops just to have 10 minutes out of the house. I think sometimes, if they're breastfine and the baby, I think, if the baby's, if their, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, or the baby, and the baby, and the baby, and the baby, and the baby, and the baby, the baby, and the baby, and the baby, and the baby, and the baby, and the baby, and the baby, and the baby, and the baby, and the baby, and the baby, and the baby, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, they's better, they's better, their, their, better, their, better, they.a''.a be away for the baby but just like have a bit of your own time and clear your head everyone you know it's different from else but I think that's good because sometimes it can be gets like three months and you realize I've not

been apart from this baby yeah I'll excellent tip another tip is if your baby like mine for the first three months has colic and so screams for three a a three three three to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm th. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. screams for three hours before going to sleep every night, do consider taking your own life. But don't do it. Don't do it. But playing with the thought, there's nothing wrong with that. That's totally natural. Obviously don't. Don't do it. Also, can I'd say I've got another thing as well to sort of, this is great for a, um, I have a sudden it's at any point, I th th th th th th th th, I th, I th, I th th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, thi, th, to consider, do, do, do, do, do, do, do to consider, do to consider, to consider, to consider, to consider, to consider, to consider, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi thi th, th th th is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to consider, to consider it's to consider it's to consider it's to consider it's to consider to consider it's to consider it's to consider to consider thi, th say, I've got another thing as well to sort of, this is great for a, I have a sub, I think it's at any point of a pregnancy or just a nice thing to do for your partner. They do, have you heard about this?

Don't you wear this, Josh, posh advento, they're a posthu, advent of calendars. Yeah, yeah. They're a. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They're. They. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I. I. I. I th. I th. I think. I think. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th one, they do like the clinic do one, I think Liberty do one or like the the candle people do one, a cup of Yankee candle, what it is, whatever they're throw into candle beauty products right and it could be costly but you get this like, and you can always also get the box to yourself but make like a little advent cander or buy one that every day they're every day leading something to look forward to each day and then also you get so much because you get one bit every day there's something that should be able to use over the next sort of three to four months when the baby arrives and stuff that's good but

they do the liberties like the pop prop and fort notree they expensive versions, but then there are cheaper ones in different more high street shops. There's a John Lewis one. And I think that it's rather than chocolate or sweets and stuff, they are banging. But that is something that got me massive brownie points. There you go. Adam, I hope we have answered your question. Right. Thank you for listening. See you later guys. Bye. Bye.