Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S01 EP45: Dawn O' Porter

Episode Date: September 29, 2020

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' - S01 EP45: Dawn O' PorterJoining us in the studio this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) during the lockdown and beyond is the brilliant writer, director and presenter - -Dawn O' Porter. Dawn's fantastic new book 'Life in Pieces' is out on the 1st October. Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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The forward government still isn't investing in public schools. Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the supports they need. They can't wait another year. If the forward government won't change, it's time to change the government. Our kids are counting on us. Join us at Building Better Schools.C.A. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. Hello, I'm Josh Riddickham. And I'm Robbeckin. Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell. The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. And to make a little tricky. So in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation,

and to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. Hello and you are listening to lockdown parenting hell with... Can you say Rob Beckettie? Can you say Josh Widducket? Can you say Josh Widdickham? Let's just get out of she no-no. There we go. That is Ewan White's two-year-old, two-year-old,

two-year-old, seven-month-old daughter named Kara. This was her first take, she had now perfectly annunciating it, but this was the one where she kept asking for a banana I think. You know you've got you can't do something for nothing these. There's no free lunches. You know what I mean? There's no such things free lunch? Put the kids to work. Also I'm quite enjoying the fact that about a week ago someone said, oh you need to change the day with the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the the to. the podcast. the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the to. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. tod today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. yes, thank you. We had a word with those guys in City Hall and we got it sorted out again for us. Yeah, I'm not letting, you know, civic freedom get in the way of this podcast keep in its name. I've realized something about lockdown, Rob. I know. It's only take us eight months. Yeah, which is, I was like, why am I finding it's so difficult every day to work out what to have for lunch. to to to the the to the the the their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, to to to to to to to to to to thi, to to to to to to to to, to, th. Yeah, to, to, to, th. Yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, thi. Yeah, I'm not, I'm not, thi. Yeah, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not I realize it's because I'm never in the house, so I buy lunch all the time. I've been making my lunch for six months.

I've got no ideas, Rob. What are you having for lunch? I'm in the same boat. It's getting to the point where basically I can't be bothered, and then I, because I was out of the house usually, I was going to Pratt or somewhere. Yeah, or you're in an office space and get in that. I'm an office space or whatever. And now I'm completely lost with, I don't know how, I don't want to sound like I'm out of touch Rob. But I don't know how people eat lunch in their own homes. I don't understand. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. th. th. th. I'm th. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. th. th. th. th. the the. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. Oh. Oh, and we are WFH in, but also there's certain filming things you need to do in a studio or on set somewhere, right? So I'm doing a bit more work now, but I'm still just sort of accepted to get up at the same

time in the morning as blue and do the kids stuff. Because I'm still, we're still in the lockdown state of mind, but I'm so like, yeah, that's my favorite, quite a lot of work to do that. My favorite Alicia Keystone. Yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, I know what you mean. Is there an argument, Rob? Yes, because I feel like lockdown's been eased, but my sort of commitment level to be in a parent,

I don't think it's sort of, I mean, this is very difficult to say. Josh already feel stressed about the conversation I have my wife once she hears him. Are you worried that the commitment level 1 to 5? Are you worried that she's raised it? She's kept it at level 4 when really the commitment level should be dropping the 3 or half or 2? If we the R rate in our house is currently 2.7 in the relation if the equation of lockdown situation to work situation and yeah I think I think the lockdowns the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the th. the the the th. the the th. tho. the tho. the tho. tho. tho. th. th. to to the the the to to c. to c. to c. to c. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to c. to c. to c. to c. to c. to c. to c. to c. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the commitmea. the commitmea. the commitmea. the commiteme. the commiteme. the commitmea. the commitme lockdown situation to work situation and yeah I think I think the lockdown's gone up to level four but I've been on a level four even though I was down at level three if that makes sense Josh is that make sense? Yeah no I understand what you're saying? I should just reinforce you're probably I should just reinforce you probably almost certainly that little

conversation has taken you a month nearer to having a dog very quickly yeah yeah and I've regrettha th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th th th th th the th th th the th. th. th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've the that that. I'm the. I'm tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- the the the the the the the the tho-I tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theeeeeeean to to to to to thean to theaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. I's thoooooooooe the the to to having a dog very quickly. Yeah and I regret bringing this up already Josh because I've just realized last week I had to stand a hotel away with work and I wasn't even at home and so that will be immediately thrown back in my face if she ever heard this. We went away to a hotel this week for our anniversary. Very nice place. Not me and you, you and your wife. Yes, yes. Six months podcast she was livid. Let's get a room. But she, we were having lunch in the- You said that, like it was sort of like a code word for sex. Well, you heard- I'll tell you, in fact, coincidentally, I've just told you three minutes ago,

I struggled to have lunch in my own home, so it did feel quite illicit. Oh, God, look at it's it. It it. It it. It it. It it. It it. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. We were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were. We were. We were. We were. We were. We were. We were. We were. We were. We were. We were. We were. We were. We were. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thea. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thea. thea. We were thea. We were thea. feel quite illicit. Oh God, look at it. It's not a ham sandwich again. So we were having lunch, and there was a guy on the next table. So he just came into the restaurant area of the hotel. They didn't even bring him a menu. He was like, just went to the waiter. Can you make me some poached eggs with some avocado and some tomatoes on some toast. She wasn't on the menu. Oh, okay. That's a big dick swinger. He had that pure confidence of someone you knew was quite a mover and shaker. Was it like a posh hotel? Yeah it was. It was a place called Clifden House, which is very nice. Let's put it this way. It's a national trust property role. It's where a Harry and Megan stayed before their wedding. Oh Joshua,

what a place for an anniversary you probably the taxpayers expense even though they've now bloody done one. I'm like Frogmore Cottage. Yeah. Still using the bloody letterhead. You've seen that just as you get some bloody parts voice over and a fizzy dick. Anyway it was the first anniversary so we're treating ourselves, it was post-lockdown. Anyway, the guy in the next table, we listen to his conversations, then I go to the toilet, my wife, he's kind of talking to his friend who's a fitness instructor and should kind of give a career advice, etc., etc. My wife works it, he is the owner of the place, Googles it. He has a fortune of 1.2 billion pounds.

1.2 billion, Rob. That's how he gets whatever breakfast he wants. It was one in the afternoon, mate. It was hanging poach-take on toast. Well, how many millions into it's a billion? I don't know. I don't know. Because I, it's a billion to trillion thing I don't even deal with it's like looking at the stars. I don't really comprehend it.

I know it's there, but I don't. I think that I think one is a thousand million and another is a million million. It was a billionaire. one thi thi thinnen't th th. I I I I I I I I I I thi. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I thi thi that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I their one is a billion. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the billion. I thi. I thi. I was a billion. I was a billion. I was a billion. I was a billion. I was a billion. I was a billion. I was a billion. I don't. I don't. I think. I think. I think. I think. I tho. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I was a billion. you were a billionaire? I just don't think I'd be doing the podcast. I don't know what I would be doing, but I wouldn't be here. No, I mean, I think you would. I think you would, but I think you'd do one show a week. I might not do it as many of the advert reads. Yeah, so I just couldn't believe my mind. Anyway, his son showed up and I did think,

what would that be like to be the son of a billionaire and be a billionaire parent? What would you do? Because it's not just rich that is obscenely rich. Like, he could just go to Jadie's sport and buy. Exactly. Like, you can literally buy the Argos catalog. If you were a billionaire, Rob, what would you do? Would you give your children all the money? Or would you worry that that would ruin them? This is a parenting question. Right, I'd give them a lump, but not the old lot. to chari. th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, what would would would would would would th. th. tho, what would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. th. th. th. th. they. they. th. they. the, they. they. they. they. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Like, their. Like, tho. Like, tho. tho. to. tho. th. th. th. th. th. I'd give some of it to charity. You don't know that too much, yeah. But like, would you be worried that they were going to be... I mean, if I had a billion pound, mate,

I wouldn't give a shit about anything. Choubmy? I want to be worried. I think it's a very intense feeling. I'm so worried that I'm not the th w w Or I'm so worried I'm spoiling them. Anyway, I'll love the poached egg, even though it's not on the menu. Going back to lunch, I've been skipping breakfast, doing the school run, and then either working out,

or not working out, but either way, once I've done or not done something, and then I have like eggs in a certain way, around half 10-11. If I'm I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have that I have that I have that I have that I have that I have that I have that I have that, I have like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I have that, I have that, I have that, I have that, I have that, I have th. th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have like, I have like, like, I have like, like, I have like, I have like, I have like, I have like, I have like, I have like, like, like, I have like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, that, like, like, that, that, that, th. I have like, I have like, I have like, I have like eggs in a certain way around half ten eleven. If I'm indoors for the day and I'm working from home, I do that and then I have like a later like snack and then eat dinner in the evening. But I'm just sort of all out of ideas. I did, I'm just bored of cooking. I'm so bored of cooking. I'm rubbish at it compared to like, still better, Toby's still better than me. I'm done with cooking in that I've done so much because also I've been cooking for myself or we've been cooking for ourselves and for our daughter because she doesn't eat the same meal.

Yeah. So essentially between you you're cooking six meals a day. It's like we're in a kind of semi-popular cafe. Yeah, you probably do more covers than some struggling cafes throughout the corner. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber 1 for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cashback on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings.

Not whatever you think University is for. Get Uber one for students. A membership to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Jain for Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. What does Possible sound like for your business? It's having to spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with business platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and conditions apply. Visit Amex. tox. Josh, we got some emails. Yes. Sorry. We have got very off topic. That's fine. T. T. T the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. tha. tha. tom. tom. tom. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. to. th. to. th. th. th. to. t. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to sorry, we got very off topic.

That's fine, you know, there's a billionaire that ordered poached eggs. Or did an egg? You don't, you don't turn up that kind of good content. Do you want some, you've got a short trip to school? Do you want a couple of short trips to school? The commute, the school commute? Yes. Do you want a short one or do you want a really long one to... Oh, can we have both? Yeah, we'll have the short one to start. Short one first, yeah. This is from Lorna. I think I'm a contender for the quickest school. We live four doors from the back of the school around a 30-second walk. Oh, 30 seconds! Where you have to drop off

before COVID, I would have been allowed back out the same gate to go home again, but now there's a one-way system. We have to walk all the way around the front to go home. It adds an extra three minutes. I've attached a picture of our walk to the school. Amazing. If you have a look, I've sent that to you. Oh, that's so good. Is that too close? It is very close. So, this is from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from th. This is from from from th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the the the to. to. to. to. the the the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the same. the the the same. the the the same. the the the the the the the the same. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the same. the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the to. the the the the that too close? It is very close. Um, so this is from Sam Hardacre. When my eldest son was born, my wife and I worked in Hebden Bridge, but live in Halifax. When the time came, we decided to send him to a nursery in Hebden Bridge,

since it was only two minutes away if we needed to go and collect him from work. Then, the Box boxing day floods happened, followed by flood defence work commencing on the main road between home and nursery. Previously on a good day the journey was 20 minutes. With a flood defence work, temporary lights and a resulting traffic jams increased this to an hour each way. I can, I was actually on that road two weeks ago and I did it twice and it ruined my week. There we go. Two hours a day in slow moving car with a toddl strapped into the car scene. And also when you know it's only 20 minutes about the traffic.

Have that, can I suggest something here? Wait, it hasn't finished. Oh no, what else going to happen? This went on for a few years. Eventually my wife and I got new jobs. to to to. to. to. to. to. to. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. their. toe. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their, their. their, their, their, their. their. their. tod. tod. todd. todd. todd. todd. todd. todd. todd. todd. todd. todd. todd. todd. todd. t months away from starting school, we decided to keep him in the same nursery. Just grit our teeth and do the commute. Take it in turns to do the drop-off pickup. We didn't want him to have to deal with the change of scenery and new faces, only have to do it all over again when he moved to school. Get listeners to Hebden Bridge, drive back through Halifax, basically passing our house, then drive to Leeds in rush hour traffic.

We're probably driving an extra two to three hours a day so our son wouldn't leave nursery. Oh my life! He'd grown up in. When school came about it, it turned out he'd adjusted to new scenery and faced a matter of days, so he probably could have just moved him to different nursery after all. I totally get doing that because you don't upset the kid, but also it's probably better for the kid not to have parents that have driven for three hours every day. Yes, yes. That's like a part-time job before you do your job.

That is one of the most intense journeys. But I think if it is a good nursery, but I just don't think I could do it. How good is it? How good's a nursery? How good can it be? If it was driving two to three hours in an empty car, I might be able to take it. But some of that time, there's a toddler in that car.

Yes! Oh wow, that is brutal. There we go. If you want to get in toucest with us, this is how. Email us, hello at lockdown parenting.co. UK, or tweet us at lockdown parents or Instagram lockdown underscore parenting and you can also send us stuff, PO box 76748, London E99DW. Right, Robb. Yes, mate. Who have we got today? We have got Dawn O'Porter, Josh Whitaker, best-selling author, TV personality. She did some documentaries, isn't she?

Yeah. Or she moved to LA to concentrate on writing, where she lives with her husband, Chris O'Dow, the actor and their two children. Very interesting this one, especially how different it is in the US. Yes, it's absolutely fascinating. And she had come up with what I would describe as a superb way of dealing with homeschooling, that I've not heard before and has blown my mind. The pod-based Odyssey, which we

now call it. We will see whether people adopt it themselves and whether she changes UK schooling habits. This is Dawn O'Porter. Hello, Dawn O'Porter and welcome to this show. How you're doing? I'm good, thank you. I'm, you know, I'm all right. Yeah. Yeah. You sure you're all right? Yeah, fine. That's the start we're th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th! th! I th! I th! I th! I's th! I's th! I's th! I's th! I's th th th th th that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th, we th, we thee. We thee. We th th th th th th th th th th th th th th, we th, we th, we th, we th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th th that's that's that's that's that that that's that's that's that that's that that's that's that that that's that that that that that that that that that Yeah. You sure you're all right? That's the start we're looking for. What we don't want is I'm great. That's a disaster start for us. It's been a while since I've given that answer I have to say yeah I'm fine. It's all right. Okay so this is the best start I've ever had. You can feel the stress and the pain. Hopefully the listeners, nice and chirpy. Yeah, I'm all right.

Yeah, I'm okay. We're getting there. What, can you let us start about your setup, please for us and the listeners? Yes, I am a woman and I have a husband. Just noting all these facts down. Yes, I just wanted to give you an exclusive. to give you an exclusive Yeah, wow, okay. I Have a husband and I have two boys Yeah called a five and a half year old called Art and a three-year-old called Valentine

And a dog called potato and a cat called Lilo and a fish called hippo and that is my lockdown Oh wow, and are you in the UK or in America? I'm in Los Angeles, California. Full time? Full time, I've lived here for about 12 years now. Wow. I know. Rob, me and you have the exact same terribly parochial response, exactly the same thing.

Wow. Living in America for 12, wow. You haven't got the accent though at all have you? Who even picked it up? No, no I haven't got the accent. In fact I think I've got more English and I but I do have the annoying inflection. I notice when I'm talking to my kids I'll be like so have you like packed your lunch and in that kind of they do in California so I definitely have picked up something. Yeah luckily not fully. How do your kids so they've got an English accent and an Irish accent in

the house and then they've got American accents all around them so how do they sound? Well obviously because we've been the primary influence for the last few months I'd say our three-year-old is sounding pretty English right now. Okay. And art is he just, do you remember when, like the Osbournes in the 90s, how they just had that weird hybrid? Yeah, where are those children from? They sounds a bit like that.

That's not been heard since the Osbournes either. I'm not, Callum Best is the other one. That half English, half, kind of full and acting. Yeah, exactly. I've been like, like when, like when, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, like, That half English, half Californian accent. Yeah, exactly. A bit like when Madonna moved to England and she suddenly got a bit English, he sounds a bit like that. But they'll do things like, we had a babysitter once and she was like, what's a garage? A garage?

It's like, what do you mean garage? And I had to go, no he means garage. And she's like, oh right, okay, it's just we have moments like that all the time. Yeah, because he's locked in there at the moment. You might want to get him. Yeah, yeah, we didn't there a while. And how, so how, were they off, because I assumed they're not in school yet the three years? nursery? Well what is delightful is today is my second day since March where I

have a kid-free house. I will repeat second day since fucking March. So the situation we're still like heavily in lockdown here it's really it's really really awful and and my... It makes you feel any better. We're heading that by ourselves. Yeah, so I heard. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just feel like we're going to be in and out of this for a while. But so Valentine is a preschool, but he'll be going to the preschool that is also art school. They have a preschool. But the school can't open, art the preschool this week. So he's, last week he went two mornings.

This week he's going five mornings. Next week he goes five full days. Oh, what a week. Guys, I just, I just, I, like, we've had some help for the last few months. We've had a bit of babysitting and but when I don't know if you find if you're in the house and they're with the babysitter, they don't care for the child care. They want to be with us. I feel like when I'm in the house, if like I've got to do some work and then so we've got like a babysit around or something and then I'm just in the house. I feel like I feel like. I'm th. I'm th. I'm It's not, it's not, I can't go, here's the kid, now I'm gonna go and watch pointless. It's just no.

Yeah, you gotta be doing something. You've got to be doing stuff. Yeah, yeah, I can only ever do it if it's work, and I have to work. And then I put music on and try to ignore it on to ignore it on to to to to to to to to to to to to the music on, I'm the music on, I'm the music on, I'm to the music on, I'm to the music, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music, I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the music music music music music music music music, I the music, I the music, I the music, I the music on music on music on music on, I to to to the music on, I to the music on, I to the music on, the music on, the music on, try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and to to to the to to to to to the music music music music on music on. I'm not going to listen to my baby screaming downstairs and not go down. So then that's half an hour of like, you know, do you want a poor patrol plaster or you want a, you know, pepper pig plaster? And so then we're going through all that and so then we're going to the baby said it's like, actually you, because his school isn't going to open.

They don't think school's going to open here this year. We think that's just something we all have to presume. Yeah. So I got together with five other parents who were in arts class and we created a pod. And so they, four days a week, he's out the house. We do five kids a day.. I, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, to five, to five, to five, to five, to five, to five, to five, to five, to five, to five, th. th. to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It, th. It, th. th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It's, th. It's, thi. It's, that, that, that, it's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi. thi. thi. It's school school school school school. It's out the house we do five five kids a day at each house so on first days I I homeschool five oh nine from nine till five on a first day that is commitment I'm getting itchy I'm getting itchy thinking about it so

awful it is it's like you know how when you do a kids party you say it's two hours long for a reason because it's just awful. Well, that's eight hours of kids' party basically. But I have to make... Is it worth it though for the other four days? It is. Now Valentine's not here, so it really, really is. It's incredible. And each parent has their own version of hell when they've got it at their house and so but I've I'm surprisingly because I've

just because I'm this because this is the best solution I could find this is the best I could do I give myself a hundred percent to Thursdays I'm in from the second they lea I'm theirs I'm not trying to do anything else school's got like zoom classes from nine until 12 which they all hate because they're five and it's awful and then and then and then in in in in in in the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm th. I'm their. I'm tho. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I I I I I I's. I's. I I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. It's th. It's th. It's the. It's. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm they all hate because they're 5 and it's awful. And then in the afternoon we do, I organize things and I've got like potato sacks to do potato sack races and loads of arts and crafts and we're doing tie dye t-dye t-shirts this week. And I don't know who the hell I am anymore. So this is who I am on Thursdays. Are you, do you think you're one one the better one one one one one one one one one one one one the better, the better, the better, the better, the better, the better, the better, the better, the better, the better, the better, the better, the better, the better, the better, the better, the better, the better, the better, the better, the better, the better, the better, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, tho, tho, tho, I tho, I tho, I'm, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I, I, their, their, the eight hours? Well we've got a deal so they do the school until 12 and then they're

allowed to watch TV for an hour in the afternoon is downtime. So I think everyone's, yeah, everyone's going really well and each house is really different and and I and we're all just doing the best we can and it's not my fucking four days a today. I've got an idea for you. Have you thought about teaming up with 364 other parents? Amazing. That would be amazing. I did actually come up with one idea. When we were trying to work out how the pod would look, I said we could just be brave and all do a week each in a row five days,-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-just done and then you get four weeks off none of the other parents were into that idea which is totally fair and also at the time there was a risk but what if the school does open in three weeks and then you know three parents had to do a their parents just didn't have to do that theyrace to their thrown th you th you th you th you th you th i i i i i i's thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their. their their their. their their. their. their. their their. their. their their their. their the. the. th. That'd be heartbreaking. That's like when you buy around and then they call last orders.

Yeah, that is not fair. That's not fair. Don, what's the first glass of wine like at 6 p.m. when all the other kids leave after your day teaching? What's the, what's that emotion like for you when you've that was, I can't believe you think I wait until six o'clock. Have a big sum? The wine's out? I was like, they leave, they leave at five and Chris literally hands me a margarita at one minute past five. And it's just the best, it's the best. I mean my drinking throughout lockdown is an absolute, like it's a legitimate problem but um yeah that Thursday that Thursday like late afternoon drink is just it's wonderful and it's such a good feeling and

because because I am working quite hard on the Thursdays there is also like a kind of high-five session like it's well done high five you did really well feeling of I did good I'd like a bit like a bit like after a workout. And so that drink is really nice, that first drink on the Thursday night, it's really nice. Do you find it easier to school them as a group than one on their own? Because when there's just one kid, I think they're go, oh, go away, mom, I go away, dad. I don't listen. But when that. that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the their their their the first. their their first first th. thii. thi. thi. that that's that that's that's that's that's lying, is it easier to sort of, you know, teach them as a group? Do you know what? I don't, I don't know. I'd say it's with a five-year-old, I'd say it's really hard either way.

I think trying to do remote learning with a five-year-old is a really, really difficult age. It's really hard to keep their their their their their their their their pens, oh, oh, it's boring. Can't hear what the teachers saying. One of them just, you know, thumps the other one. And also, whoever's house is, is just a massive asshole that day. Because, say, if it's, arts apparently quite well behaved to everyone else's house, but he gets overwhelmed when he's at home and all these other kids are here. So he'll just be melting down all morning. So he'll just, you know, be melting down all morning. So it's terrible, but we show up for the classes

so the teachers don't tell us off and we do the best we can. And that's literally. I think it sounds like a great idea. Yeah, it's good. I think there's a lot of parents now who are listening to this thinking, I wish I'd heard this idea in March, thapapap.............

At some point, Dawn, there's going to be a WhatsApp group of just four of you all complaining about one loose cannon. That's the danger of the pod. Yeah, it is true. We're all being like, we're all being very polite about each other's kids. We're all being like, no, it's fine. What you should do is have a promotion and relegation. So at the end of each week, a child's relegated to a different, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, thiary, thiol, thiol, thiol, thiol, thiol, thiolome, to, thiolgated to a different pod and then another child's promoted. That's so good. Can I tell you what I do do that is, I said do do, which I really love is I do a star chart with them which is keeps them in check so five stars and they get a lollip and if they act up I take a star away and I have to be really stripped about it and when I take a star away it is honestly it's heartbreak real tears from somebody else's kid you just feel like so

awful but but there's a couple of them that just you know aggravate each other all day so I do it and I take a star away and I let them be heart broken for five minutes and then I say if you want to organ if you want to get that star back, the to to to to to to to the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm their, I'm the their, I, I'm their, I'm their, I'm their, I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm their, I'm their, I'm try, I'm try, I'm tak, I'm tak, try, I'm ta, ta, try, try, try, try, tell, tell, tell you, I'm if you want to organize if you want to get that star back come with me help me tidy up the shoes and I'll give you a star back so they've never got a less star for more than like 20 minutes yeah but it totally keeps them in line and then at four o'clock or at 330 I am I do one big thing where they will anybody doesn't do them and has a non-ruly toddler or five-year-old, they are really powerful tools. Yeah, mine really responds to it, but I do find, I don't know if you find this. Sometimes when I want them getting back to five stars so they can get the lolly, because it's nearly lolly time.

I am finding any reason to give them a them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them their their their their their their their their the give them a part, oh you didn't spit in my face or swear at me, have a star, I find myself giving away too cheap. I know, I know, but that fear that one of them won't actually have their five stars is so horrible. You've got to make sure they get it. The one week I was like, I couldn't think of anything so I said, if you draw me a picture, I'll give you a star and this kid had just had just just just just just just just just just just just had just had just had just had just a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit th th th th th th th th th th th th that just had just had just had just had just had just had just had just had just a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit th th th th th th th th the of a bit the of a bit the of a bit the of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit thrap the of a bit with my kid and he drew this really beautiful, it's five, detailed picture of the fight. Oh wow. That was, that was really emotional. I felt kind of overwhelmed by it so then anyway. He got his lollipop.

But yeah, I find it, it's a really good method, but also, what kids will do for sugar, amazes me. Yes. Are other parents going, can you do this and not do this with my child or is allowed or are you not allowed to impose your rules on the other four parents? No, I think every parent in the pod is using sugar to get through the day. Yes, to get through the day. No, luckily and I'm quite happy that, you know, the pod was, I chose who I was going to pod with for the reason that it's a group a group a group a group a group a group a group the group the group the group, I the the th. a group, I th. th. I the th. I th. I was a thi. I was a to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be, I was, I was, I'm, to be to be to be. to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, to, to, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi. tho, tho, tho. thooooooooooooooo. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th you know the pod was I chose who I was going to pod with for the reason that it's a group of quite relaxed parents who you know would let you do your day just to have their own. I bet there's a little kino pod and like an exclusion pod of the absolute ed cases. Yeah I mean I mean chewing on the cable leg. Well weirdly we're the only part time people are still really scared and lots of people here haven't left the house since March you know haven't really? Yes yes yes so many people. So what can't

what can't you do at the moment in like where you are in California? Only eat outside so the rest of restaurants are open but only if they've got streets that you can sit on and then no pubs, you know, shops have capacity limits. There's no schools, obviously, there's no offices. You know, we're not on a stay-at-home order anymore, but they've never said it's okay to see up to six people. For example. Yeah, they just really haven't really said that. So we just created this pod and we just live in this kind of tiny, tiny bubble. And do you find being in LA, like is it a different upbringing? What are the main differences for a child growing up to LA to where I don't know where

you grew up? I grew up in Guernsey? Yeah, Guernsey in the 80s where there was like no crime in LA? And is there no crime in LA? None, none, none at all. It's really clean up their acts over in L.A. Yeah, yeah, it's really nothing at all. Wow, having, it must be so, you, it must be so strange to having such an alien child to,

to what your kids are experiencing from Guernsey to L. I imagine the same for your partner as well, it, it, it, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, to, to, their, their, their, their, their, to, their, to, to, to, their, to, their, the same, the same, the same, to, the same, to, the same, the same, the same, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is a, is, is a the same, is a the same, is a the same, is the same, the same, their. their, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their you guys did. Well it is, I mean, God, I mean, I don't know, it doesn't, you know what you don't realize how weird it is because you just feel so used to it all of a sudden. I mean the weird thing about LA is it's not like living in a city because it's also spread we live, you know, we have a group of friends that we see and that we have, because we don't have any family out here, we've got three couples, two of which are Irish, one is American, and we've all kind of raised our kids together, we live really close, and they're like, you know, we're all aunties and uncles to each other as cousins. And so it's quite small town in a weird kind of way, the way that the kids are growing up. Yeah, I'd say in Guernsey and an island, you were way more surrounded by people,

kind of much more sense of a bigger community than our kids would have here. Yeah, I think so. But then the one thing that I notice a lot is anxiety, there's a lot of anxiety in America and especially in parenting. Hygiene was always big before this, you know, like you see moms at the playground following their kids around with antibacterial gel before COVID even happened. And you know people talk about I got allergies and I need to hydrate and it's all, and they, everyone's kind of worried about everything's going on with their bodies all the time and so then you bring COVID into the mix and the way that it Fueled parents anxiety here was I found quite overwhelming I think we're just naturally not so anxious as Britain and do you worry? And do you worry that your children being exposed to that kind of anxiety? Might give them those anxieties if you don't they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I they're thi. I thi. I thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. And thi. And thi. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. they're thi. they're they're thi. they're thi. thi. thi. thi they're thi they're they're they're thi they're they're thin they're thi thi thi thi thi. thi what I mean. I don't think they'll be tobacco because Chris and I are quite feral. As in we're not particularly anxious we're not like you know wash your hands and

you know be a clean person but we're not we're not obsessively about that and and also our home I guess our home is quite relaxed and so they you know thinking Valentine going to school now with him his three he goes to school the mask the mask the mask the mask the mask the mask the mask the mask the mask the mask the mask th and th and th and th th and to to to to to to th and to th and I th. th. th. th. And I th. And I'm th. And I'm tho the and I th. And I'm th. And I'm to be to be to be to be to be and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. And. and so they you know thinking Valentine going to school now with him his three he goes to school the mask on perspects between the kids only allowed to play outside all this kind of stuff like my fear for them post COVID is that they will just find other people disgusting so they weren't they haven't to wear a three-year-old at school yeah yeah he was he was a mask their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. I I was. I'm the. I was. I'm. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I I I was. I I was. I I I I I I I I I I I was. I I I I I I. I I. I I. I. I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th school? Yeah. Yeah. He wears a mask all day. Luckily he's great at it and if any, you don't know what's going to happen. If in the UK you end up getting told that your kids have to wear masks at school, my kids wouldn't do it

until I got the masks to dinosaurs on and then they just wanted to wear it all the time. He's actually really good, Valentine of wearing it. And their their their their their their their their their their, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's th. He's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's, he's, he's, he. He. He. He. He. He's, he, he, he, he. He. He. He's, he. He's, he. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi's thi's thi's thi. thi's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theee. thi. thi. there's perspects between the kids like if they sit down and play at desks there's perspects between them I know no touching not really no but the thing is because because because he's three he's weirdly they just get on with it yeah they don't know any different really did I yeah I'm actually really grateful despite the amount of alcohol have to consume to cope with the last few months I'm they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they don't they don't they don't they don't they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're their th thi tho tho their tho their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're grateful despite the amount of alcohol I've had to consume to cope with the last few months. I'm actually really grateful that my kids were this age during this time because it's been harder for Chris and I in terms of child care but Chris and I are their favorite people in the world we are who they want to be with the most so if we could keep them entertained at home we could keep them happy this must have been so hard for their their their their.. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their. I their. I their their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I I I I I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their their their their their their their their the. I'm thea. I'm tea. I'm tea. I'm tea. I'm tea. I'm their their their their their their their their at home, we could keep them happy. This must

have been so hard for people with older kids and who missed their friends and who didn't just want to be with their parents all the time and who really had to sit on Zoom every day for months. I just find that to me is so much more stressful than my three-year-old wearing a mask and getting to go to school. Yeah, no, I can see that. Yeah, definitely. That's the generation I feel most sorry for, that sort of like 16 to 23, that age group, where you're supposed to be going out with friends and meeting new people and going to parties, and they've had that take away really.

Really, it's hard for the parents with like a three-year-old, but they, but, but, but, but, but, they, they, they, they, th-old, th-old, th-old, to-old, to-old, to-old, to-old, to-old, th-old, th-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s, to-s, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to- You go for the teenagers if you do that some people are struggling the most. I was going to say it's what obviously it feels like you've got into your groove now with a pod and things like that and obviously it's been a few months. But well there are moments like in from March and you know and April and May where we would say it was just you know the moked tray moment. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's the their. It's the. It's the. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It's. It's. It's. It's. I. I. It's. I. I. I. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. say it was just, you know, the moment where you just, we call it a milk tray moment where Shappico Sandi just lost it over a milk tray of her kids for no reason and had to apologize to him. There was a moment when it was just getting too much of the kids and you sort of lost it or anything like that. So many times, so very, very many times. I found it, I found it, I found it, I found it, I found it, I found it, I found it, I found it, I found it, I found it, I found it, I found it, I've th. I've th. I've the, I've their, I've their, I've their, I've their, I've their, I've their, I've their, I've their, I've their, I was, I, I, I, I, I've to have a to have a to have a to have, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm a. I'm a. I'm a. I'm a. I'm a. I'm a. I'm a to. I'm a to. I'm a to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, I'm a to, I'm a. to, I'm a. to, just moved house which has been life-changing for us because up until a month ago we lived in a bungalow and there was no outside access to the garden unless it was through our bedroom so Chris and I had nowhere to escape to. And it was, we bought that house well before we had kids.

We didn't anticipate that our lives would go in this direction. But we, it was it was very, we were very much on top of each other and just felt like we couldn't catch a break. And so in the old house, I did have some days where I just couldn't take the moaning, the the noise. I mean, we made a deal at the start that I would do all of the cooking because cooking is a great passion in my life. And it's, I found it incredibly therapeutic to be able to go into the kitchen, put the radio on, pour wine, and concentrate, concentrate on a meal. And that was kind of my solace. And I found myself when I was losing it, just going and doing that. But then after a few months, after three meals a day, seven days a week for three months,

I even found that boring and it was around that point where I started to have some epic level meltdowns of just being with my children and then just turning around and walking away from my children, going into another room, slamming the door and very likely screaming and having that moment of actual rage and frustration, breathing it out, returning to the children and carrying on. Could I ask a question? Yes. Could you take us through with an example what a very light scream is? Oh, I don't think I could do that now.

I think it would really hurt you. It's definitely, it's definitely the kind of scream where if you heard it, you would die on 999. Okay, all right. Okay. Okay. One of the things I think me and Rob did to deal with this was start this podcast. And now, you, I suppose, is this to deal with the kind of monotony of lockdown have written this book, Life in Pieces, which is a diary of life in lockdown.

Yeah. It was like you trying to make the best of the situation or was it just you trying to escape? It was really odd. I write for a living and I really, I really love my job and I find that when I when I get immersed into a writing project I it does something very good to my soul it's very good for me so when lockdown started I had a novel to write but there was no way that I had that level of focus so I but I needed to write something so I set up a blog and I started to write a daily diary of lockdown and it wasturned into such an important part of the process for me. All day I would make notes on my phone when anything funny happened. We were potty training Valentine for the first month, so you can imagine my house was literally

covered in shit. I was there with you. Yeah. Yeah. And so I started to kind of, I've always been quite, Chris and I quite private about family and kids. But I, the, the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to me, to me, to me, told, told, told, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. the ta, the toda, today, the today, today, today, told me, told me, told me, told me, told.a, told.a, told me started to kind of, I've always been quite, Chris and I quite private about family and kids, but I felt in this weird scenario of lockdown, the opening up, the sharing of the parenting woes, the funny bits and the awful bits, just felt so therapeutic. So I was just making notes all day on my phone of things that happened,

and they're kind of compiling them into this blog every night and I just looked it gave me something to look forward to every night after the kids had gone to bed again I'd pour some wine write my blog and I and I became really addicted to it and I started it started to just be it made me laugh and it felt like a massive release and yeah so that's how it started but I never ever thought that that blog would become a book but what happened was at about ten to 12 weeks I had this absolutely th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho' I'd th again I'd tho' I'd tho tho tho tho tho tho and I'd th again I'd th again I'd th again I'd th again I'd th again I'd th again again again again again again I'd th again again again I I I'd th again I I I I I'd th again I'd th again I'd th again I'd th again I'd th again I'd th again I'd th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho to to to to the to to to to to to thee to to to thee to theeeee thou the the the the the the the th ever thought that that blog would become a book, but what happened was at about 10 to 12 weeks. I had this absolutely huge body of work, this kind of, you know, this diary of this really intense time where nothing was happening, but everything was happening. And so my publishers asked if I could put it into a book and that they could publish it, and I honestly took the paycheck. Let's not beat around the bush.

No, you made good of a bad situation. I think like but how much kind of time and evening are you spending? So you get the kids to bed, you're knackered presumably, yeah. And then you're kind of having to switch into the mode where you're writing or did you do you find that completely relaxing in a weird way? Yeah, I loved it. It was like I said, it was just such a good outlet and I made notes all days. Then I had the note on my phone. I'd email it to my computer and then an hour on it every night and it made me feel like

I love being a mom guys I know you know we all do we love being parents. Yeah yeah yeah yeah but I can wait for the butt but my life was never to be that that was all I did so when when stripped when I was stripped of my life beyond being a mom very quickly needed something that was mine. Like, you know, a grown-up my own thing that made me feel that my life just didn't totally evolve around these maniacs that lived in my hand. But it was good, it was really, it was really good. I'm raising it back and, and it's actually really lovely to have that that diary of this weird time. Yeah I bet. Me and Rob will listen to this back and go, oh my god, what an awful

time. Would you ever listen to this podcast back, Rob as a diary of the time? Oh absolutely not. I think I mean when you're saying what you did when the kids were in bed, all I did was just pissed and play war zone, you've created a book that, you know, your children will be able to read it, be incredible, oh, this is what mom and dad were going from, who were little, and I've done nothing. But yeah, it's amazing to, you know, I don't think I can listen back to this though, Josh, I think are too many hard. I couldn't listen right. So I'm not on it especially with his voice. I'm not paying the ass. It's hard enough doing it live. Has Chris gone back to work, Dawn? Well no, he's getting lots of scripts and there's lots of talk of things happening

but it's you know a lot of them come in going we're doing this when we can. But I feel I feel I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin thin thin thin thin thin thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm th. I'm th. It's th. It's th. It's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. I'm the. I feel like things are starting to move a bit there but again it's very difficult because just like you're experiencing in the UK you think everything's easing up and then we could just get dragged right back again at any point so he's he's written he's written a lot while we've been in lockdown which is great so he's kind of good to go when it ends and and if a production did come up and say right we're going to go for it I'm happy see because I right I'm quite happy if he gets a production to for just to totally isolate with a production I don't mind us doing that at all could I'll deal I'll deal with the kids at home and just you know so he can get some working but I just think everyone's

nervous to price go on productions yeah it's so expensive as well it's not the the the their. their. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th is so th is so th is so th is so thi th is so th is so th is so thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. I'm just thi. I'm just thi. I'm just thi thi thi to thi thi thi thi thi th is just to to th is just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. to to thi. thi. I'm so thi. I'm just thi. I'm so thi. I'm so thi. I'm so thi's so thi's so thi's so as well, it's not like they're all, if it's a big budget film or series or something, it's not something you can quickly knock out. It takes months and months, doesn't it? Exactly. And then we're just putting so many people at risk on a film set, you know, it's just so many people have to be there. So we'll see, we'll see, hopefully soon though. We got a feature in the show, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, brought, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. to. to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. to, to. to, and, and, and to. to. to. to. the, and, and, and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. show, so we gave me the opportunity to mention a sort of parenting gripe that he had with his wife is something that frustrated him

that he could never actually tell his wife face to face or it'll just kick off. But it's a fair, but it's a fair comment. Is there something now that you'd like to say, sort of a parenting way would help your you know your parenting but I don't know if there's anything that you'd like to get off your chest out your opportunity Dawn literally just written up a quick list on my white board so I the first one that came to mind is I'm so weird I'm on a podcast but speaking quietly so Chris

doesn't hear me say that. It's blatantly going to hear about it. I do so wish that he would put the sunscreen on the child before he dresses them. Oh yes. Oh yes. Oh, I see. Yes. That makes sure. Hands down the worst part of my day, every day, is putting sunscreen on my children.

They act like I am rubbing balls of fire onto their skin. It is so stressful. I can't imagine the Irish Guernsey combo is great in the LA stand. No, no, no, no, no, no. And poor arts, we got the Irish skin. So, anyway, so I have, but I have to do it it it it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it, but I have to do it, but I have to do it, to do it, to do it's, to do it's, to do it's, the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. to, to, to, to. to. to. to. too. too. to. too. today, to. th. to. th. the. the. So anyway, so I have, but I have to do it because it's, it was 109 degrees here a couple of weeks ago. Like the kids have to wear sunscreen. And so, but what I do is before I, before I dress the child, I slaver them in the cream so that they're fully covered under their clothes because as we all know,

t-shirts don't have an SPF. And, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, then, the the the the the the the the the the the the the under their clothes because as we all know t-shirts don't have an SPF and and so Ben I put the clothes on the problem with doing it vice the versa is that I have to like reach down the back of the t-shirt this that's strangling the child with the front of the t-shirt and the child because it's dressed thinks that it's done getting ready so when I reintroduce the idea the idea the idea the idea the idea the idea the idea the idea the idea the idea the idea the idea the idea the idea the idea the idea the idea of the idea of the idea of the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tooes the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the of theauuiceauiceaugh is is Ia teaughea tea tea teauoooooooo toauoeateauoeauiceauiceauice is their that it's done getting ready. So when I reintroduce the idea of a sunscreen, the meltdown is I'm on your side it though, that is totally fair, but I can understand having that argument at 8 a.m. before the school run is too stressful to bring up. You just don't. You just don't. You just don't. You just don't. So that's it. Perfect. I'm glad we could offer you that service that you could get that hopefully we'll get we'll be back in touch and see if that message has carried through but we'll find that in due

course. When you read about the divorce. Yeah be the paper sunscreen marriage feud. So Dawn when you come out of lockdown whenever that will be say tomorrow all of the kind of freedoms were returned, what would be the first thing you'd do with your family? It's really interesting that you ask what I would do with my family because the first thing I would do when this is over is leave them with a babysitter for an entire weekend. Yeah, I realized I realized actually the question was yeah. Yeah, I'm really actually the question Josh and I would that that that that that that the question the question the question the question that the question the question the question that the question the question the question the question the question that's the question the question the question the question the question the question the the the the to to to to to to to to the the question. to to to to to to to to ask you'd to ask you'd to ask you'd to ask. to ask. to to to to to the question. the question. the question. the question. the question. I would the question. I would the question. I would the question. I would the question. I would the question. I was the question. I was to to to to to to to to to to the to the th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. that's the that's th. to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to hotel somewhere and fucking drink constantly for 48 hours because I feel that that's what every marriage needs after lockdown. You've been missing the drinking, fair enough. Well no, we go but just drinking. The problem is when you drink so much of our

children it's always with a slight feeling of this I shouldn't be doing this. Yeah, and I want to get back to guilt-free drinking again. Drinking with abandon. Yes. Yeah I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that that that that that that that's that's th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's that's that's that's th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I feel th. I feel th. I feel th. I feel th. I feel th. I feel th. I feel th. I th. And I want to get back to guilt-free drinking again. Drinking with abandon. Yes. Yeah, I think that's best. Yeah. And also just being, you know, just that waking up in a hotel room and not the kids not be in there. You could just lie there till bedtime. Oh my God, wouldn't that just be so lovely? And no one jumps on you or does anything? You could just there that holds up so you'd basically just escape to a hotel with with with with Chris. That's so nice. Do you know the thing is though and as we're talking about this because there's a lot of complaining to do about parenting over the course of this year because it's been really hard but we've had some such lovely moments as well like I definitely do think really was the end of Valentine being a baby. You know, we got out of nappies over this time. He, you know, kind of dropped naps and fully sleeps through their audience. I mean, he was doing it that before, but just he's really not a baby anymore and I feel like that happened. And then,

you know, the more just thinking about being in a hotel and waking up would be so lovely, but then, you know, we've got this th thing thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, their, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th.... th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thr, thr, thr, thr-a, thr-a, thr-a. thr-a. thr-a. thr-a. thr-a. thr-a. thr-a, thr-a, th got this thing, they come into our bed every morning and they're just all cuddly and gorgeous. And I definitely feel like lockdown has made me a way more engaged mum because I've had to be. I couldn't, I was never been very good at playing. I would always be like, they're like, they'd like, come play with me, come play with me, so I'd do the wrong lego and their and the was and now I'm I get down on my hands and I play with them and I do arts and class with them and do all these things that I never did before because somebody else got to do that when they went to school or daycare or whatever. And so I'm grateful for all of that. I'm grateful for this time and I just I'm trying not to look back on it all as being an entirely negative experience. Having said that, I'm over it. But I want it to end and I don't want to do it ever again, but it was great.

There's definitely been nice moments in terms of in terms of parenting, but I do like the idea of 48 hours without someone going, Mommy, mummy, mummy, mummy, what they seem to say all the time would be gorgeous. But do you know what? You have that and then I felt guilt. The moment, and you're like, why am I feeling guilty about like the when you, we went on holiday for a week and then we went away for a night,

and I felt guilt leaving, I'm just done a week of this. I know. There's something about it. It's like you've got Stockholm syndrome or something, isn't it? Unfortunately, I think this is what they mean by loving them, which is just really annoying. Oh, don't give me that. Do you know what? I think we love our kids guys? I know, it's so annoying. It's so unfair. It's so pathetic. I do not set up this podcast to find that out. Thank you. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. th. th. th. that's that. I that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha tell you what would be nice because we don't have any family here. If Chris and I ever do anything, we have to get child care to cover us and that can make me feel a bit guilty sometimes because we don't have a nanny so we don't have a regular person. So we always have to kind of work that out. But what would be really, really lovely is to be able to to be able, is to be able, is to be able, is to be able, is to be able, to be able, to be able, to be able, to be able, to be able, to be able, to be able, to be able, to be able, to be able, to be able, to be able, to be able, to be able, to be able, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be able, to be able, to be able, to be able, to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the kids with family for a weekend so we don't feel guilty about it because that's important. That would be the perfect thing to do. Do you want to just, Dawn, if you could just say again what the name of your book is.

Oh, okay, so it's called Life in Pieces and it's out on October 1st. And is it, can we play a game, a lonely scream that that day. Sometimes muffled in a pillow. Yeah, exactly. Everyone's had a pillow scream now and again. I mean if you've not had a pillow scream in lockdown, as far as I'm concerned. That's true. You're not sticking to the rules. Yeah, it's part and parcel. Oh, thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thanks Dawne. Bye. Chau. Dorne. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. to the. to to to the. to to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. to the. the. th Bye. Cheers, bye. Dorno Porter, Joshua. That was great. I really enjoyed that. I got really panicked when I first said a name, because I know that she changed her name when she married Chris O'Dowd, but I got all confused about, because I knew that she didn't just take his name but she didn't keep her name. She did something. You thought it might be Chris O'Po. I didn't know if it's going the name tho tho tho tho. th. She's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th thi. th. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. Don't the the the tho. Don't tho. too. too. the too. the too. too. too. too. too. too. to. to. to. to. to. to. something. Oh, you thought it might be Chris Oporta. No, or I thought it was gonna be, I don't know, I didn't know if it's gonna be like, Porter, I just really panicked and then I said it and then I was like, oh God, I hope

that's right and then no one said anything so I think it's okay. Yeah, we'll clean it A, the pod is mind-blowing. What a great idea. B, America's absolutely fucked. The kids in mask because of the perfect screens! Jesus, Christ! Fuck off! That is mental! I would, absolutely. Basically, the kids in America... They're going to be insane when they grow up. I wanted to ask, you feel sorry for the person that does Friday, right? You want to get Monday. No, you don't want Monday, you need Monday to recover from your own kids and sort the

house out. I reckon you want Tuesday. You feel got a bit of energy of the week. Then you've got Wednesday, Tuesday, definitely. Would you have done the week, I wouldn't have done the her week thing where you get four weeks off and then one week on. Alright, so it feels like working on an oil rig. Not for me. Imagine that feeling. Do you remember the feeling like at the end of the summer holidays on a Sunday night? Imagine the feeling before your week of being the teacher. Yeah but also though you know it's all a bit competitive anyway with kids and parents and schools and all stuff like that

like even if people aren't being outwardly so like I would worry they'll get a bit like a little bit bitchy in between all the different parents or they did that they do I mean yeah that's my worry but if you pick she said she pick four other people so if they're in the same wavelength then it they're.... their. they're their. they're their. they're they're. their. they're. their. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. they're. they're. they're. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. th. I'm thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I'm the. I'm they're in the same wavelength, then it'll be fine. And what do you think about, I mean, she's really made me re-evaluate what I've done with my evenings in that she's written a book and I've watched a series of increasingly unexciting Netflix documentaries. To be fair, the amount she was drinking, fuck knows what's in this book. Because she was like, yeah, it's in my phone. I've done it an hour and night. I was mainly drunk. It's mainly just gusto recipes. But no, I'm being mean, but yeah, that is,

you know, that is impressive to do that. It's an annoying actually to a point. But you know, I was, and I'm still shit at Warzone. That's all I did for about two months. Yeah. I still can't do it. Josh, I've loved this episode and I've really enjoyed it. It's been an absolute joy. I suppose I'll see you on Friday. Yeah, see you on Friday.

Well, you won't actually. We'll just hear each other. We'll just meet up and do another face-to-face one. Yeah, don't tell Boris. I'll have to get from home if you can roll. So we're allowed to me. Oh yeah, so I was going to say, because if we wanted to be getting Tom Allen on here, we can't, we could come here and Michael could come here and we could just get pissed.

But that's the social, but the moment Michael pressed record, we would be breaking the law. Oh, Josh, is it right that your mic's broken at home? I mean, I'm being let down by the fact you're going to have to reply with your working mic. Yeah, that is a problematic situation you've put me in there. For fuck, W. F.H. Anyway, we'll sort it out. We will chat from home on Friday. On Friday. And we'll make sure all recordings done before 10pm. Just in case COVID turns up. Right, see on Friday. Bye.