Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S01 EP47: Doc Brown

Episode Date: October 6, 2020

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' - S01 EP47: Doc Brown AKA Ben Baily Smith Joining us in the studio this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) during the lockdown and beyond is the brilliant rapper, comedian, actor, screenwriter and presenter - Doc Brown AKA Ben Bailey Smith. Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, I'm Josh Riddickham. And I'm Robb. Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell. The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. So in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation. And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing.

Hello and welcome to lockdown parent in hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Whittaken. There you go. That is George who turned five in lockdown and Arthur who is two and a half. Oh very nice. I think I think they did it better than their mum. Yeah, she didn't deliver it with as much passion as I was hoping. No, but I didn't know whether that was, sometimes when I talk to my kids, I talk to them like they talk. Do you do that? And then you feel like, why am I staying that? That's how I speak too loudly to my daughter.

Like I up my loud? What, why am I doing that? I suppose like I'm kind of a foreign person if if I'm kind if I'm kind if I'm kind if I'm kind if I'm kind if. coffee abroad, you know that kind of terrible Brit abroad. Lou always tells me I'm too loud. Yeah. But I think she's too quiet. She's like middle class whispered quiet. Yeah. I don't want to put anyone out.

You just, yeah, it's just my foot's on fire. Could someone that... How are you, Rob? Good? Yeah, I'm quite excited about autumn. I like autumn. It's the best. I'm going to say it's the best season. I like. Or spring. I think spring. I like the, yeah, the two transitional ones. I enjoy them the best. Summer's too hot, winter's too cold. The anticipation of autumn. Like knowing Christmas is coming. Getting a coat out the bloody loft. The leaves. The first, the the the the the the the the the the the hot. the the hot. the hot. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoomomomome. thoome. I I I'm thoomea. I'm thoomea. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm tha. I'm tha. I'm tha. I'm tha. I's tha. I's tha. I I I I I I I I I I's th. I I I I I I I I I I's th. I I I I I's th. I I's. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's th. I's th. I's the. I'm the. I'm tha. I'm ta. I'm ta. I'm going. I'm going.a. I'm going.a.a.a. I'm going.a. I'm going.a. I'm the the the Getting a coat out the bloody loft, the leaves,

the first hot chocolate, the first mold wine. This sounds like an alabarchage promo. Previal League season has started. I absolutely love it. I know this ain't the podcast. Fucking hell I love sport. I love it. Love it.

I don't want people to go back into the stadiums. I want to watch five games a day and just sit there and just get fat and be a big mess on the sofa like in Wally. That's all I want. I'm not going to lie. I've hardly seen any of it, but I've, why are you watching it? Why are you watching it? Where are your children, Rob? weekend. Oh right yeah well I was a yeah I was at a kind of farm and then on Sunday I listened to the Man City game while I cooked dinner. Really well the way I get all my boxing and combat sports in is I offer Sunday morning to get up

with the kids and I'll get up for like six and then say to Lou I think I said before you stay in bed but then I can get all the boxing done early and just let them play in the other room. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's the the th. the the th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll their. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I I I I I I I. I I I. I. I I I. I. I. I. I. I. I their. I th. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. th. their. th. th. their. they. the the the the the the the the way. the way. they. the way.the advantage of two. My daughter, I'd say she's not the best independent play. No, they're not, they get bored. That's what it's quite Andy having the other one. I did a test the other morning to see how long she could just do stuff without calling for me when we were in the kitchen. I was just drinking a cup of tea. Fifteen seconds. That's how long the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi's thi. thi's thi's thoomomoomoom's th. thoomoomoom's thi. thi. thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's the the thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi. thi's thi. thi. thi's thi's thi's thi. thi's thi's not thi. thi's not toooooooooooooooooooooo toeeeee. toeea. toeea. toea. tea. thea. the's the. of tea. 15 seconds. That's how long I lasted. I was trying to read an interview. Trying to read an interview with Gary Linneka in the paper. And over two hours I failed to read the interview of Gary Linneka. I just, I can't believe, because I text issue to you so we can talk about that. I can't believe what people of our kids do at weekends.

Oh mate. Did you say it was Joel Domit's post. Him and his wife, Hannah, lovely couple. We love, Joel's a friend of ours. Lovely people. Yeah, he went on a Saturday morning to this place where they teach you how to do patterns on top of the coffee. So it's not coffee making, it's just how to move the... Is that all that was? Drawing a fucking, you know, mustally arm or whatever it was, Joel wants to draw on top of a coffee? Yeah, exactly. So it was just showing them how to draw a, like, if you want a picture, their tipe, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, whi.. to to to to to draw, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, or what, or what, or a. to. to. to. to, or, what on their hands wrong. I just don't have a moment when I'm not I worked every evening and day last week and my Friday I was a fucking mess. So I'm in a text group with my dad

and my brother where we'll talk about Plymouth Argyle and other football it turns out. Although it's really only for Plymouth Argyll, but my dad really does watch too much Premier League football for the group. And you just like my dad was watching, what even was the game? Like Spurs v. Newcastle? Do you know how unlikely it is? I have to look at the fixture list and think in think in think in the th. I th. I the f in th. I the fi the fi fi fi fi fi fi. I to to to to to the fi. I the fi. I to to to to to to to to look. I to look. I to look to look. I to look. I to look. I'll to look at the to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the to the the the the the the to watch the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. I th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. the. I the. too. too. too. toge. toge. toge. togu. toge. toge. too too too too too too too too too the. a fixture I want to watch and I have to do two weeks of social maneuvers to get myself in the position. I've just found out what it was. It was a latte art course. I mean, come on mate.

I don't think I've looked and appreciated what is on the top of a coffee. No, of course. From it being ready and me drinking it, there's not enough time for me to look at the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to be, to be, I, I, their, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I, I, I, I, I, I........... I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I's, I's, I'm, I'm, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape., tape., tape., toa, toe., tape., toa, toe., toe., toa, toe, toe, toe, toe me to look at the top of it. But also, do you know why Joel is drinking his coffee? He's drinking his coffee for pleasure and he doesn't need it because he's had 11 hours sleep. You're making a coffee and you're having to mainline it because you've got up at 6 a.m. Watch boxing while your two children sit in the other room. Trying to convince myself that I'm the lucky one. Yeah, I'm try try to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thin thin thin if I'm thin' thin' thoom I'm thoom. I'm thoom. I'm thoomfoomse. thoomorrow thoomorrow to convince to convince to convince to convince to convince to convince to convince to convince to convince to convince to convince to convince to convince to convince to convince me. I to convince me. I to convince myself. I to convince myself. I to convince myself. I to convince myself. I to convince myself. I to convince myself. I'm to convince me to convince me to convince. I'm to convince. I'm thin thin thin. I'm thin. I'm thin. I'm thooooooooooooooooooooooo. I'm thoooooooooooooo. I'm thooooooooooooo. I'm th. I'm the lucky one. Yeah, yeah, try to tell you yourself, I know this. How shit is my life. Thanks, actually, Just, thanks to bringing that up. How awful is my life that I think I've won this weekend by getting up at R5.6 to have a coffee and what's boxing in the dark. Do you know what I do as well, I got up at 550 on Friday because she's potty trained but she's going through it right? And that really messes up the sleep so her sleep's gone

to shit and they've told us at nursery that that mess will mess up the sleep for a couple of weeks and it has. Why is it's why is it messing up the sleep the posthree? I think it's because've got nappy on in the evening, have been I? Yeah I know, but apparently it's a very regular thing. They're not as relaxed, blah, blah, blah, blah. So I was up at 5.50. And I was sat there watching the fucking clangers, trying to, like, trying to get my phone at an angle where my body was masking enough, where I could look at it enough, th. the the their their th.. their th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. So, th. So, th. So, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, they's, they're, they're, they're not, they're not, they're not, they're not, they're not, they're not, thi. They I was just trying to convince myself, actually it's great that she's got up this early because we'd get a lot of one-on-one time that we wouldn't get otherwise.

And I'm thinking, what am I doing? Well, yeah, it's not one at one time, it's a three-way with a clangers. It's a three way with a thronger, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, it, it, it, it, it, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thee, thee, thee, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that she, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th., tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thoooooooo''-a, tha, tha'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a, tho'a, tha, tha, this weekend, Rob. Yep. So first thing, walk in, very nice, walk him. First sign, you think, look, what's in this? First I'll just read it to you. Sad news, it starts, sad news. It's within great sadness that we've had Einstein put to sleep. He was an old otter that developed a few health problems, then there's a photo of Einstein. Otters are territorial, so introducing another otter to keep Darwin company is not an easy thing.

It would have to be female and then they may not get on. Darwin is currently happy and showing no signs of depression. We will monitor his behavior over the coming weeks. How do you know if an otter's depressed? It keeps up, keeps ordering dominoes. He's listening to Bonnevare for the tent time that day. He's just got radio head on loop in his little cave, whatever they're sleeping. That was the opening, the opening thing I saw. Also as well, who is going to this farm that regularly to be like, where's the other otter? Well, exactly.

I mean, surely just move over it. And then if anyone asks, ths, ths, if, if, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's the other otter? Well exactly. I mean surely just move over it and then if anyone asks, because really if you're that bothered you'll ask. Yeah. You don't need to get new people to know that some of the... Where the line's going on. I wouldn't, at my house have a sign on the front as anyone comes to sad news can't do that. It's too bleak a news to start off with. Just wait for something to ask. Just put in two different otters that are friends that look like the original otters and you're fine. Anyway, it was a bleak start to the farm.

Have you ever fed a cow. I've never fed a cow or I've, I'm presuming you have otherwise this a real conversational, a cold. Their tapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapem. Their their. Their their. Their their. Their their. Their th. Their th. Their th. Their th. Their th. Their th. Their th. Their th. Their th. Their th. Their th. Their th. Their th. They's th. They're th. They's th. They's th. They's th. They's th. They's th. They's th. They's th. They's th. They's th. They's th. They's is th. They's is th. They's is th. They's is th. They's is th. They's is th. They's is th. They's is th. They's is th. They's is th. They're th. They're th. They're th. They're th. They're th. They're th. They're th. They're th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. mental. Oh yeah, they do have a big old tongue, don't they? You can launch, oh mate, the kids love a cow's tongue. That is so funny, they just, you can put like the food on like a fence post, they just lick it. They put their tongue out when they're fighting a bit of carrot in their mouth. It's a great laugh. This one, we go to this farm in Bromley, when Down is down in Kent called Christmas Tree Farm. You can just like launch a bit of carrot in its mouth, it loves it. I'll tell you what I'll do is I send you a picture of a cow's tongue and then we'll stick it on Instagram and I tell kids love it mate. Was it all right apart from that then no cow tongue? It was fine. Yeah, you know, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, it's, it's a that. It's a th. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's a th. It's a th. It's, it's, it's. It's. It's, it's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th that th th that th that that too much? No, no, at the end of the day a farm is just a farm, isn't it?

You're sort of zoo. I know it's not a zoo. I'm just saying though, you seem, you said you worked every day and night last week, you feel, you seem a little bit stressed. So tired. So what's your sleeping pattern like at the moment? If you're working day and night. Well when I work in the evenings I am oh that is a that's a big tongue you've just sent me wrong. It's a big tongue that's a big old tongue isn't it? They're mouths of mental cows. Yeah it's great fun. Did you just Google the words cows tongue? I've got a couple of bookmarks. I love to deliver into the news of how much fun of cows tug is. I said you'd have one. It always looks like an alien. Oh wow, that I don't like that one. That's creepy.

I'll put them both on the Instagram group so you can have a look. If you haven't listened to the episode, it's going to be a strange term of events on Instagram. Yeah, so's gonna be alright, mate. Yeah, it'll be fine. We will do your emails on Friday. If you've got any, this is how to get in touch. Email us, hello at lockdown parenting.coad.uke, or tweet us at lockdown parents,

or Instagram, lockdown, underscore parenting. And you can also send the stuff PO Box 76748 London E99DW. Right, Josh, here we got this week? Well, that is a difficult question. It's either Ben Bailey Smith or Doc Brown. We should explain that his kind of stage name and his name when he was a rapper was Doc Brown, but he also goes by his actual name, which is Ben Bailey Smith. Yes, so he was a rapper for Doc Brown but he also goes by his actual name which is Ben Bailey Smith. Yes, so he was a rapper for Mark Ronson as Doc Brown, did comedy as Doc Brown but now

he writes and acts as Ben Bailey Smith. So throughout, it's not that we're getting his name wrong, it's just that we're switching between the two because we're unprofessional. We panicked. You went Doc, I went Ben. Yeah. Anyway, it's a great interview if you can get past that. Hello, Doc Brown, aka Ben Bailey Smith. How's it going? Very well. Very well.

How are you guys? It's lovely to talk to you in a formal setting up our mics. Rob's very excited because he was a big fan of Des. Oh yeah, that Des show was great. You was in Des, wouldn't you? As a copper. I was, yeah, I mean, it was a bit of sweet experience watching it because they cut so many of my scenes that by the time you actually met me, it was like, oh right, there seemed to be a lot of familiarity around this dude, but he's just a pe Yeah. Because I thought because first of I saw you carry it like you because you're carrying like a bin liner of like body parts and I'm like I swear it's still brown as Ben isn't it? I thought that it's a thing. Like Ben's got amazing act to be like do more than getting it properly later on but it did

feel like you were like best mates and I was like it's the first time the bloat with a bag spoken. Exactly. So as you can imagine, for mums, that's a terrible thing, right? Because my mom was like, oh, I thought you, you know, I thought it just seemed like you were an extra, you know, is that your, uh, okay. You know how mums are? They know, they never get it. They're just like, oh, so it was like a little sort of walk-on thing. No, it fucking wasn't. Yeah, there's an actual part, I don't know, they just cut it back, right? So like I said, it's bittersweet because I also think it's the best thing I've ever been on. Wow, I would dispute that, Doc, because I want thing is like, obviously this is a parent-imported. It's interesting now because, you know, my peers, my comic peers, such as YouTube boys,

you know, you're starting to have kids now, you know, which is exactly the same as in my friend group. All my friends are having kids now, whereas I was a young dad. So if you remember when we first met, already had kids, right? Yeah. What's your kids set up, Ben? And how old was you when you had kids for the Felices? I was 26. So if you can imagine having kids at 26, I mean, that's, you know, in the old days,

that wouldn't have been old, right? Like in our parents era, that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th and th and th and th and th and th and thi. that's, thi. thi. thi, that's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to, too, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. to. to. to. to. to... to.. to.. to... to, to.... to, to... to. to. to. to, to. to. to. to. to, to. to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. too. too. too. too. to, to, to, to. to. to, to, to. to, to. to, to, to young. Because I was 30 and that was still quite young. Yeah, that's still quite young. It was a complete head fuck, man. I was like, not ready at all. But then the same time you're never ready, are you? So you just sort of find a way. I think the tricky thing for me was that, you know, I was a youth worker, my first daughter was born, I had no, I mean, when I was little I wanted to be in show business, but by the time I become a young man, I just thought, it's not, it's like a dream, you know,

it's a pipe dream. Now I've got a kid, you just got to be sensible, do your job. So the first couple of years of my eldest, you know, she's 15 this year, I mean, crazy. Wow. Yeah, so the first couple th th th th th th th tha tha tha thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, that, it's, that, that's, that's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it I was. I was. I was. I was. I was a baby and a baby and a baby and a baby and a baby and a baby and a baby and a baby th. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I was. I was. I was. I was their. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was. I was. I was. I was. tod. I was. todd. todd. I was. the. the the the the the the the the the toddler when I would have met you guys, you know, like, talking to 2008, 2009, and in 2010, I had a baby and a toddler. So it was intense, and you know how it is when you're starting out, I lived out a suitcase. I was just not, I was not about. And I have to say it was really, really, really, really difficult. It was. Because when you start on the open mic circuit, you literally gig five nights a week and you're driving to the middle of nowhere for no money. So the thought of trying to do that with tiny kids at home, I mean, I just don't know how you did it. It was a struggle for me as like a single bloc. I was in all the competitions, doing the open mics, and then the

rest of the time I was just driving driving driving driving their thrying thrying thrying thrying, I was just driving. Because I had a car, do you know what I mean? I had a car. You get like the bookers like off the curb or like a Christian nose, people like that. They'd be in touch if you're, oh, like it's happening, it's happening. They'd be like, yeah, can you drive Carl Donnelly to Stafford and back? Because there's a middle spot with your name on it baby, you're going to be huge. And were you driving him in a car that had a child seat in the back? Yeah, definitely. It would have been my old, it would at them times it would have been my VW golf and then

2010 I started to get a bit gasped because 2000, I don't, I don't you, I don't you guys, I don't you guys remember but like the th you guys, I umpet, like, there was just a year where I just suddenly just got bookings up the ass. I was, I had money and I bought an Audi A4 and that was just like with a black one with a leather interior, cream leather, and I just felt like an absolute boss in my council flat with the Audi A4. It's a classic, it's a classic mum's car, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the book, the thi, thi, thi, thi, the book, the book, the book, the book, th, th, th, th, th, book, th, book, book, book, book, book, book, book, book, book, the book, book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, thi, I I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I the thi, I the thi, I the flat with the Audi-A-4. It's a classic mum's car, isn't it, the old Audi-A-4 dog? That's what you go. That's what you're about? That was a beast.

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So obviously, you have kids and your focus changes, right? You know, when you used to look at Google images of like, fit actresses or like an actor that you rated or a comedian or whatever, and you'd always see that Google image result of them at the premiere of some kids with their kids. And you think, oh, actually, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi-a, thi-a, thi-a, thi-a, thi-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a, th. th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their-s. their-s. their-s. the-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. the-s. the-s. the-s. thi-s. the-s. th. result of them at the premiere of some kids movie with their kids. And you think, oh actually, that's pretty cool, isn't it? Like one day, like, but you can't imagine you doing it. And then when you have kids, you start thinking about, you stop thinking about adult content all the time. You realize everything you do is has an adult content and you think, well, it would be quite cool to have something that my kids could enjoy. So, you know, obviously they were little, they'd watch the CBBs bedtime stories and I

thought, I know people at CBBs, I don't know anyone at CBBs, but it can't be that much of a leap. I must be able to stick my room in there. I started making calls and I got in toucett with the commissioner at CBBs, and she was like, join the fucking Q mate, Judy Dench is waiting to do this. I was like, yeah, I thought they'd just snap my hand off. Yeah, I thought they'd just be like, oh my god, yeah, brilliant. Like, get in there, do something with the kids.

So I actually waited years to get on the CB. Did you? And by the, yeah, by the time I got on it, my kids too old to care. They didn't watch CBBs anymore. It was kind of fruitless, but the other story to it was that I thought they shot it in London, but they showed it in Manchester. I think see children's TV had moved up there. And, yeah, you, you get on it. You know those guys that you know where it's like if you meet them, you're getting on it. So I meet up with my friend Cy and Matt and obviously we get on it. But I ended up having an all-nighter and I hadn't looked at the call sheet. So I was just thinking, oh I'll be afternoon or whatever. You know when your phone rings. You know when I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone th. I'll th. I'll be the phone the phone the phone the the the the the the th. I'll be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the th phone. You know there's a problem if your hotel phone rings. Rings. And it was like the third time and the reception was like, there's a driver waiting here for you downstairs, you've got to come down.

It was like frantic. I was like, oh my god. I was fully clothed, just passed out on my bed. And I just got up, clothed and just went downstairs got in the car and within like because it was the holiday in at Media City so it's like two minutes away so within within five minutes I was sat in a room with Kerry and this other dude Alex who were like the people that babysat my kids while I was doing comedy in that as early so I was just just tripping out. I hadn't slept and with the C. BB's guys.

Oh, man. And they're just caking makeup on my face. I like smelling salts. Trying to make my eyes look less hard shot. Oh, mate. Oh, mate. I was just so not how I planned to you know prepare for my voice was going. Did they know you'd been out? I think I probably told someone probably told the makeup assistant or something but oh mate I was a mess and it was just really annoyed but then you know people would hit me up

online and say oh my kids love this telling or they love that telling of the book so I think I got away most emotional they've ever seen since you were crying throughout, weren't you? No one's ever seen someone delivery looking so disparate. I felt awful. Eating the kebab was a bit nuts. Oh, I can't wait to watch that now, knowing. Yeah, knowing, knowing, behind the curtain. And you've also done a children's picture book as well. That you're really ticking the boxes to get to get, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you, you're, you're, you, to, to, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the thi, the the the thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the, the, the the, the, the, the, the the the th. Yeah, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, they. thin, thi, they. thin, they. thi, they. they. the the the the the thi, the with your output. Yeah and what I've learned is and what you will learn is the you're the king now but that just lessons they eat away it every day until you get to the point now

where both my kids are so embarrassed of everything that I do. Unless I'm like like like every now and again they'll go do you know so and so so. So at the moment the only claim to fame I have which you the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the th. the th. th. the th. th. to the th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the their. their. their. their. the the the the the their. the the the the the the. I the. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. the. the. the the the the. the. the. the. I the. the. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. the the. the th moment, the only claim to fame I have, which you guys will have in the future, is that I know Dominic Holland. Do you mean? I'm right? Yeah. Because Dom's son is Spider-Man. Yeah.

So that's one of the only things, really, that my kids are like, oh my god. You know, you know, you're one, you're one, you're one, you're one one one one one one one one one one, you're one one one one one one, you're one one one one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoome', tho thoom, tho thoom, tho, thoom, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho.. tho. to. to. to. too too too too too too too too too too too. too too. to to th I remember Spider-Man from, I think maybe it was best of all, you know, one of those festival gigs where you see the older comics with their kids, you know. And I was like, yeah, I remember him. I remember him, I remember him side of the stage and they're like, that's like the best. I'm like, I'm doing movies, TV shows, I've worked with some of the greatest. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I, I, I, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I the, I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the, the, in, or the greatest comics in the UK and they're just like, don't give a shit mate. Don't give a shit. You know, Spider-Man's dad. And what's it like from now they're teenagers? Is it just they just want to avoid your all-cost type of vibe? Yeah, and it's extra difficult because bizarrely I am quite popular with like my older daughter's age th like the today thoult with like my older daughter's age group like with sort of 14 15 16 year olds. They just love loads of stuff that I've done or they grew up on my children's show that I did for CBBC.

So it's always been quite problematic going to her school because kids get weird when I'm around. So it's another reason that she doesn't she doesn't like me. Oh really? Yeah so when you was doing the school drop-off, you was doing the kids TV show? It was Bedlam. When she was in year seven, it was actually Bedlam. There was one day. She went to a school, the older, yeah it was, man. The older one, she went to a secondary school that none of her friends from

primary school went to find out is anybody do is there anybody I know who's got a kid that age I might be going to same school I can introduce him or whatnot and I did a show with these DJs these female two female DJs and I was just chatting about this this this this September I'm really like prang about it and they said what's their that thi. And thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. I they. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the same the same the same the same. I the same. I the same. I the same. I the same. I the same. I the same. I the same. I the same. I the same. they. they. they. they. they. they. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. to the. the. the. the. the. the. th. the. th. th. the same. I the same. the? And I told them, they were like, oh, I've got a friend, her daughter's going to that school. And I was like, what, hooked me up? So I did that like parent date thing where you go meet a parent and we went to get pizza with the girls with her girl and my girl, and they hit it off. So it really took a lot of anxiety away. But then, on her, I, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, I, I, it, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I did, I did, I did, I did, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, like, this is three years ago, I went to meet her outside, it would be nice to meet her and I was, I bumped into that parent. So I'm chatting to this woman, and as I'm chatting, there's kids freaking out around me.

And then it becomes like, it goes from a trickle to like 10 kids to 15 to like 30, then to like 50 and people are demanding photos and they want like to like to like to like their to 15 to like 30, then to like 50. And people are demanding photos and they want me to like wrap into the phone and all this business. And this woman's just standing there watching. And then as it died down, she was like, is there something about you? I don't know. Because I'd never told her anything of what I did, you know. So yeah like that's embarrassing I think for a kid that's trying to establish themselves. Yeah and that's that's been a constant battle and now my little one has started secondary school this month. So it's another

new school that I have to deal with. I just haven't gone. I haven't gone in. Was it joking it was more so like because of the kids TV stuff? Yeah 100 percent. It's like the kids tv. st. st. st. st. st. st. st. st. st. st. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the kids. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like like. It's like. It's like like. It's like. It's like like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's th. It's th. It's like the kids TV stuff and all the old raps that are online, you know, like the Russell Howard shit, that's stuff. Like kids pass that stuff around. You don't think they watch the so you think you're funny 2008 fine. Puri. I check the heels. Do you like with a 15 year old, so do you like with a 15 year old and so she's back at school now presumably but during lockdown and stuff we, is she keeping to herself because

we spoke to Catherine Ryan and like her teenage is basically living her own life and same Carrie Godleyman under the same roof. Yeah like Catherine and and Kerry are great examples because I've spoken to, over the years I've spoken to to them loads about th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the th, the their their their their their their their th, their th, thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, the, thi, thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th great examples because I've spoken to, over the years I've spoken to them loads about this because they were two of the only comics that I knew who had kids around my kids age, you know, so you've always talked about stuff like that. And yeah, lockdown was weird because I think I was probably more worried about her than she was about herself and her own life, do you know what I mean? I'd always be like, make sure you're talking to your friends online, do you know what I mean? Make sure you're getting in that WhatsApp group and having a chat, keeping, keeping connected.

She was like, listen, I'm fine. And she was actually absolutely fine. I think it's more, I think lockdown was probably more complicated for parents just like, because we're anxious anyway, you know what I mean? Just freak out, sort of freaking out about everything. Did you do homeschooling? I didn't really need to, because I've got girls, like my friends who've got boys, it's like a fucking nightmare man, like trying to get them to concentrate for like an hour on schoolwork when they're not in school. Whereas girls love a task, they love a sit-down task, young girls. That's why they're so far ahead of us educationally because they actually, they're wired differently in the way that in terms of concentration. There's that like,

I don't think girls are smarter than boys or boys smarter than girls. All that's totally equal, but the energy, the difference in that testosterone is is so profound I think. Living in a house of, like when you say you had one girl. Yeah, and then. And the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the think. Living in a house of, like when you say you had one girl, and then two girl, yeah, and then you had the second where you, we like oh great a house of two girls and me, which is your situation as well Rob. You got two girls Rob. Yeah I've got two girls yeah. Do you find yourself out numbered? Yeah, yeah, Lou started calling it the Fanny Club and they all shout you're not in the Fanny Club at me, which I think's quite brutal. That is. That's insane, isn't it? It would be a, it would be a big decision for you to join the Fanny Club. I know, imagine that. What a tour show that would be.

But I find that because I've got four brothers and there was no, and even like, there was those of boys and cousins of boys. So I actually found it really refreshing to have girls in the house. And your mom must have been over the moon. Yeah, so she's been desperate to buy a doll from a market for my kid, which she did and has been putting a draw since. Hopefully, she won't listen to this. But she bought literally, but she bought six weeks old. She bought a doll that. She's got about eight years until she could play with that. But yeah, so she was desperate for it and for me as I just I found it nice to having girls rather just like it was all boys and and it's weird some bloke should be like, oh when you're going for the boy then I was like I'm really not bothered. But I don't, I'm just, I'm happy with girls totally. I've got no inclin' inclinations. If I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thinatherherherhernate, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just thin, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I've thi, I've thi, I'm happy thi, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just thin, I'm just thin, I'm thin, I'm thi, I've thi, I've thiole, I've thiole, I've thinatherherherherherherhernate th. I've th. I've thinathernate thin't thin't thin, I'm just thi, I'm just thi, I'm just thi, I'm just thi, I'm just thia' thia' thiolouin, I'm just thiolou-a, I'm just thioluui, I've thi, I've got to have a boy. Do I mean, if people do, that's fine, but I really don't care. No, I mean, I used to. Some men are obsessed by it. Yeah, I used to. When I found out that we were going to have another kid, I really, I can't lie, I really

wanted it to be a boy. Just to even it up. But it's so funny the way. mean she she's she's way more of a tomboy she watches football with me and we're able to talk about stats and an individual players do you mean which is just like that's a dream bro and that's what you want it's not about agenda you just want somebody watching football with you like she was like we watched we watch Palace Everton the other day and she was like look if you refresh the BBC football table on the website mid game with the the league the the th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thin and thin and thin' thin' the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I the th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theate the the the the the the look, if you refresh the BBC football table on the website mid-game, we're joint top of the league with Everton. She's like, as long as the score stays the same, we're joint-top.

She's like, I've never seen it in my lifetime. I was like, actually, that is quite a profound moment for a Palace fan. So do they get on Doc? Are they, because, so, do, do, do, do, do, they, they, they, they, they, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. We, th. We, th. We, th, the, we, we, we, the, we, we, we, we, the, we, we, the, the, th. We, th. th. th. th. th. th. that, we, we, that, we, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, thethey, because obviously they're, I always think this is weird, like when you get, because when we, I've got one kid, and all you can see in them is kind of how they're an obvious kind of amalgamation. Yeah, they're like half you and half your partner. Yeah, and then when the second one comes along, people always like, they're such different characters. Do they get on or they? Do they. Do they. Do they. Do they. Do they. Do they. Do they. Do they. Do they. Do they. Do they. Do they? Do they. Do they? Do they. Do they? they. Do they? they? they. Do they? they. Do they? they, they, they, they. Do. they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they. they, I. they. they, I. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they, I. they, I, I, I. they, I, I. they, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, like, I th. they, like, like, I th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I they, I they, I they, I th get on or they? Yeah, I think it's all kind of biological. So the second child will be completely, almost seem completely the opposite. And that's not an accident because the second child biologically is, every animal is focused on survival. So the second child in a human family is just like trying to establish who they are, like what

their character is. So they just find something that's not like any other member of the family.................................. the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they are, like what their character is. So they just find something that's not like any other member of the family so that they're able to stand out and basically survive and frive. So they are like chalk and cheese my two, but that's kind of why they get on, they really complement each other. So one gives the other one something that they don't have do you know mean so like my older one's

super super organized and the little ones like totally the opposite but then being totally the opposite the little one has got a more of a kind of what would you call it like just a freewheeling positive outlook on life whereas the old one because she's so organized and so focused on everything being right, will get more upset when things don't go right, do you know what I mean? Whereas the little one's more relaxed when things don't go right? So they really complement each other because they both need both of those attributes, you know what I mean? And that's that's how it works and you'll find the same Josh when you have your second, that's just how they develop. It's fascinating to watch.

And what I've learned, I guess, is I used to always look at the kids just like you do, it's half my missus, half me. Then as they get older, you realize, no, no, I've got the equation all wrong. It's a third your missus, a third you, and then 60 percent is just this new being and that's when you really start to build the respect for them. Because I think I think when they're really little you don't really respect them. Like I think I'm like I'm a weak your heart like I clean you. I don't respect you around in a wheeled throne like I don't respect you I don't respect you to you know I don't respect you're to you. to you to you to you to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to to the to the to to the their to to their their their to to to their to to their to to to to their to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. the. the. I the. theeeea. toea. toe Yeah. It doesn't mean enough to respect you.

Are you a strict parent, Doc? I imagine you've been quite chilled and sort of like calm with it. I can't imagine you like. I think I'm both. I'm definitely chilled. I definitely try and get, I engage with them and I don't want to not get what they're talking about, you know. I recognize that there's some things I just have to to to to the some tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi their their thi. thi. thi. I'm thi thi thi thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. thi. I'm teeeeateateat. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo' tha. I the. I the. I some things I just have to let go. Like TikTok's huge. And I, yeah. So like my approach, TikTok is I just need to make sure it's safe without like killing their vibe, you know. But it's hard to keep it safe, that algorithm stuff of it. Of course. Yeah, the algorithm is mad at a TikTok. And are you on TikTok? Because it seems like that said the same thing,

but like, you know when you've just got like the social kind, the social media sort of, lethagy, like I've just, I've just got to that point where like I don't even do Facebook or Twitter anymore. I just, I just got Instagram and that's mainly because I find it draining, I find it like pressure. You know that feeling where you've got a gig tonight and you don't really want to do it, but you have to do it? That's kind of how I feel about the social is. It's like, oh, I should post something humorous, humorous, show people that I'm busy, you know. There's a pressure. that's a job, but they feel like that's all. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I that's all, I that's all, I that's all, I that's all, I that's all, I've thah. I've thah. I've that, I've that, I've that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that, I that's that's that, I should should should should should that, I should should should should that's, I should should should should that's, I should that's, I should that's, I should that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's kind that's kind that's kind that's kind that's kind that's kind that's kind that's a job, but they feel like that's all, I haven't got any likes for a bit, I've got to do something so bit.

And I just don't, I can't, I just can't get my head around how much pressure there is on totally. School kids to have a good output and content. I can't imagine how bad. Big time. Can you imagine growing up with it Josh. And also, also the thought of reading my tweets if you said here's a list of the tweets you'd have sent between the age of 13 and 18, I'd rather gouge my eyes out than read that shit. I know 30 year olds now. I've got 30 year old friends who periodically delete, like they go back into their accounts and just delete all the shit they were saying when they were like 25. Do you mean? Because they find it so cringy. We also time moves on, doesn't it? Like, the what was so can be socially acceptable 10 years ago. So now, it's mad, isn't it? And out of context can look terrible. And he could lose your job. People lose their job over Twitter. I think that was part of the

reason I just quit it a few years back. I remember like there was one tweet and I think it's probably the last thing that really made me laugh on Twitter before I left where it said like they were people speculating about how they were going to defeat Thanos in end game and someone just tweeted like the Avengers is going to defeat Thanos by going back to his tweets from 2013. Yeah, and I thought that's it man, that's the world we're in now in in in in in in in in in in taken taken taken taken taken taken taken that's it, man. That's the world we're in now. I'm out. Like I'm out because- It'll be taken down. Yeah, I'm gonna be drunk and say something dumb. And I just can't do it because we know how we are in our soul, especially as comedians. We're not, we're not mean people. We're just trying to find things that will make people gas in equal measure, you know, because like their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. the. the. the. to to to to to thi. to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be th. I I I I I. I I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. theate. theateateateateateateat. theatean. theateat. thean. toean. toean. to to to of surprise it's such a huge part of just great laughs. Yeah. Do you look at the social media of your daughters? Yeah and and I stay on top of I mean obviously I follow

them but like I stay on top of like just what their status is so like we have an agreement like you're on TikTok you're on Instagram you it's private right that's that's rule number one You have a private account and I have you know I've got my public Instagram account But I have a private one as well, which is just for my friends so I can post boring stuff about my kids And I don't post my kids on my public account because I just don't want to Yeah, I just don't want to you know how it is. I don't want you. I don't you you you you you you you you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you know th you know to to to to to to th. thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. I th. I the the the th. I th. I th. I to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi thi thi thi. I don't want to throw them under the... I don't want people saying, oh your kids ugly or, oh, your kids mean to my kid or whatever it is. I don't want to have those discussions with people that I don't know. So I've got a private account. And that's how I sort of...

You're disdust. You're just, they don't really post, they just sort of, they're on there to stalk, you know, they just look, they follow celebrities, that's what kids do. Yeah, you know, and I get scared when I see kids that are in their year, that are in like posting in their bikinis, public accounts. They, some of them have got their fucking number. You can just click message and it gives you their phone the phone number. And it's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, they're they're they're they're they're they're thi, thi, they're they're they're they're they're thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. they're thi. they're they're they're they're thi. they're thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. mean? And I'm like, that is insane. That's insane on a public account and your 14, 15 year old girl and in the makeup and in the bikini you look 18, 19 and you've got your phone numbers. Those filters are mad. The filters.

You can look so much older and it's just awful. So that's the terrifying side of it. Oh God. Like I say like I, like I, like I, like I, like I, like I, like, like, like, like, like I, like, like, like, like I that, like, like, like I that, like, like, like, like I that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's the terrifying side of it. Yeah, I've got up at the same time. Like I say, it's not that terrifying when you consider, I've got this far and I'm a relatively irresponsible person. If you just keep talking, you find that it's fine. Like my kids always feel that they can come to me. And now, like with periods and stuff, I mean, I'm not great in talking about their their their their their their their. periods and stuff. I mean I'm not great in talking about the details but it's amazing how that we are able to talk about that stuff and I think it's because I've just made myself available. That's the key. You can't be their friend, you

can't be their besty, forget that. But you can be emotionally available. I can't imagine, I haven't got sisters, but I haven't got a sister talking to her about a period like back in the 80s or 90s. Could you just decide it just it wouldn't happen would it? It was just something that wasn't spoken about. It was sort of like a shame to talk about it where I think my dad would have like shoved a pick fork into his foot and made it seem like it was a horrific gardening accident just so he could get the fuck out of there. With the 15 year old, have you spoken to her about, you know, like drinking or relationships or going out and about? Because it's getting to, at the moment, obviously we're locked down, you can't as much, but it's only like, you know, a year or two away from going out and socializing. We talked about sex. I wouldn't say we've talked about drinking and I think that's because me and my miss is I mean we drink a lot I think they look at it and it's just like ew have you seen what dad says

where he's had like seven of these it's so embarrassing I think they'll kind of like it's there it's not like taboo do you mean it's not like you know if you're in a family where drinking is strictly off the limits you know and the parents don't only drink a Christmas or whatever it is then maybe the kids are going to be way more like oh drinking you know yeah then who knows my parents were drinkers and that like the first booze I had was you know stuff that I thold that I ththink it being normalized is really useful like like and so it's not feeling like your first drink is like some illicit thing that you've had to get an ID yeah all that you know I remember like trying beer and I remember having a hooch

and like at home whooch now I'm talking your language and it just means it's normalized I mean yeah some people might look at the way I have Hooch, now you're talking, now I'm talking your language. And it just means it's normalized. I mean, some people might look at the way, I have drunk to excess in the last 20 years and say maybe I am not the right person to talk about it. Yeah, I wouldn't put you forward to like lead the discussion, Josh. How have you spoken about the sexing? How do you approach that subject? You can chip in at the end. And how have you spoken about the sex thing? How do you approach that subject?

Yeah, you know, I thought it would be impossible and really cringy, but actually they've really helped. You know, and also like you find just, obviously being online, sex is everywhere. It's sort of in or underneath everything that you see online. So it's sort of come up in conversation. They've made it easier in a way. You know, they'll be saying like, whatever that, this TikTok or this Instagram celebrity or whatever is going out with this person,

oh, she was pregnant, they broke up because she cheated with it. Whatever it is, you sort of get into the conversation that way in a way that doesn't feel like judgy on you or us like we're talking about sex in in the wild world basically out there in the world. And that's kind of made it easier and we do talk about it pretty frankly and it's, I'm glad we did it because I never had that conversation. That conversation was never had in my house. Oh no, I'm panicking even thinking about talking about sex with my mom already to make it be cringe. Do you know what I mean? It just wasn't something that was done. I can't imagine you having that chat with your daughters though, Rob.

Like that's like that's too matter of fact. It's weird because you want to be that, important with daughters. It's one of the worst openings. It's just bodies. It's just bodies rubbing in a way, isn't it? Isn't that right, Lou? You tell them, bye. I suppose the darker side of it is the, is the sort of sexual harassment, sexual violence side, right? Boys, you've got to get them ready to get beaten up or to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, soo, soo, soo, some, some, some, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their.a, their.a, their.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a, bea, bea, bea, bea, bea, be know, it does happen, but it's much, much rarer, right? Boys, you've got to get them ready to get beaten up or mugged or something like that.

Someone's going to try you on the street at some point. This is this is what you should try and do. You know, just run really fast. You know, with girls, you sort of got to explain, okay, look, like, there are guys who are looking at you like food right there those guys exist you know from from all the way up to like sexual predators to just down to like just like horny guys on the street you know yeah so that's that's a conversation you're kind of you kind of have to have yeah you got a teenager you can't just like throw them to the walls yeah you've got a say like out to the shops good luck good luck! that's that's that's you you you you you you the you you the the you you th you th you th you the th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you the th you th the th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the the the the the the tho thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo their their the the their the throw them to the walls. Yeah. You've got to say like out there. I'll go into the shops. Good luck.

Going to the shopping on your own of you, mate. Good luck. And again, girls are just brilliant because their emotional intelligence is so high or so much higher than boys that they sense, they sense, they sense, they sense like things around safety. So like they already go they their they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their they their their their their their their their their to to to their s s their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their s shop their s shop. I their s shop. their s shop. their s shop. their s shop. their s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s scececececececececececececececececececececececececea go. go go. go go go go their scea. to tox. tox. their sceaught. I tox. I tox. I tox. I tox. I tooompoceneck. I to scea. to they already go to toilet in like pairs. They call they text each other when they go when they go out they go Westfield or whatever it is when they text. When they text each other make sure the other one's got home. They're already doing that shit. I have I have never ever sent that text. Oh yeah. I have've got a... Like if the police came round and say, Rob, Josh Widdickham's been found like face down, Hampstead Heath trousers around his ankles,

you think it was fine when I left him in the park? What's he done on the way home? Normally just undone to zip, not the whole down to find out. This next episode's gonna get the best figures yet. This is going to be an absolute win. Do you find that your daughter sort of nagged you and tell you off a little bit and sort of almost acts like your parent? All the time, all the time.

So before it was when like, with smoking, oh, they had such a go to quit. With stuff like playing music, playing, the music, the music, the music, the music, tha tha, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. That, th. That, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. Itthat to quit with stuff like playing music playing my music too loud. Oh it's mad like you're loathing me like were you secretly smoking when when they're telling you to quit are you like a teenager having to go for like a gas for like a house for the down the street. Exactly that and then like you transported back to being a teenager you're like getting like polos and the poos aren't strong enough so you get the extra the extra the extra the extra like like like like the extra to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get the the to the to the the to the the the to their to their to their their their their to to their their th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their th. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm to. thee. theiii. theiiiiii. theiii. thei. the. the. the. thi. I's. thi you transported back to being a teenager you're like getting like polos and the polo's aren't strong enough so you get the extra strong mint. Like get into the house go straight to the bathroom like splash your face with water or even better have a shower you know Listerine the whole night and they're still like where have you been? Do you ever have disagreements with you misses about about what like, you know, if you're being too harsh of them or being too relaxed and stuff like that?

Is there anything that sort of been a sticking point? Uh, yeah, I'd say both ways. That happens, that happens a lot. I think most of the time, if you can, even if you and your missus are at logaheads, you've got to to try and present a to present, to to to to to to to to to, to, to, to, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to toxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, to one of you appears to be the soft touch or one of you appears to be the cool parent, both parents will lose. You're both going to lose, do you know what I mean? Because it's going to create resentment between you two or it's going to create imbalance within the family unit. So you've got to sort of back each other all the time and then behind closed doors you go, I disagree with that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, thi, tho, to, to, to, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, their, both, both, th. th, both, both, both, both, both, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, th, the th. th. th. th. the th. the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thii. thi. thiiiii. thoooooooo, both, both, both thi then behind closed doors you go I disagree with that. Yeah you can't you can't do it in front of the kids. Yeah we fought about like what type of

schools to go to like what they should should and shouldn't be allowed to do like we argue about social media all the time and I'm like there's there's certain things where I feel like okay we'll present a united front but behind closed doors and like I know a bit more about this than you and vice versa you know with other stuff I'll be like you know what I have to like bow down you know this shit better than me so we'll go your way on it but if you have those conversations in front of them they're like ah no one steering this ship yeah this ship. Yeah. Got a free ride. You know? But it is a scary thought, right?

Because you remember when you first clocked that about your parents, oh my god, they're not superheroes. Yeah. They're just like lame humans trying their best and failing. You know? I'm a way to put it, but it's spot on. Like all of us. And it's, you really feel it profoundly when you have kids. It makes you want to pick up the phone and go, Dad, I'm sorry I was such a dick man, this is hard.

This is hard. I get it now. I get it. I get why it wasn't working out for you like perfectly. You know? You go to your therapist and you're like, can I take back every one of the last seven years? Because I don't think it was all my parents for. I think I'm just a dick. Do you feel like, because your music's a big thing for you, Doc, obviously. I'm like, were you, are they into the same music as you? Are you sharing that with them? Were you like, really, like, you must have been really hoping that would be a kind of bonding thing, right? Definitely, and I still do. I mean, me and my wife and my and my and my th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th was th was th was th was th was th was tho tho tho thi thi thi thi tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho that, the their music, their music, their music, their music, their music, their music th. M, th. M, th. M, th. M, th. M, th. M, th. M, I th. M, I th. M, I th. M, I th. M, I th. M, I th. M, I th. M, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, right? Definitely, and I still do. I mean, me and my wife have pushed good music on them from the start, and it's had, I would say, mild to decent success, like mild to average.

Yeah. Because at the end of there, you can't stop kids from listening to pop music. Like music that is now is for kids. Do you mean? Yeah. So whatever is now, if you're like 15, 16, that's your music. And everyone older has to sort of try and work out why it's good. But it just speaks to them. So even though it might seem unlistable to us, to them. It's like, it's like, it's like with a dog whistle, you know? There's a different kind of creature can hear it and we just can't hear it in the same way. Do you find yourself trying to get into it? Yes, and some stuff I do. Some stuff I'm like

whoa actually this, the production and this is insane. Like the song that they loved a few months back as you start of lockdown was the say-so tune, If you don't want to see me, dancing with somebody, and listening to the production on those songs, I was like, it's incredible. We play it loud in the kitchen, it was all have a little dance around. But on the whole, I would say, we've managed to sort of weedle in some of the

good stuff here and there, like, they both like some of the old indie that I used to like they both like a bit a UK garage from the 90s, you know we've we snuck in like bits and pieces. I think you love it when someone uses a sample of something in like a new song you like that's actually an old one this oh yeah that's like a oh yeah that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like oh that's like oh that's like oh that's like oh that's like oh oh oh oh oh yeah yeah that's like that's like that's like oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like like that's like like that's like like that's like like to like blur. They won't like blur. Oh no, my kids like blur. Oh, do I? Oh, there you go. Yeah.

I think the Beatles is a big one. Like we got, we got, we got early on, she didn't really realize. Now we listen exclusively to Moana and, of course. And Gary Barlow's theme tune for Paddington, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I's, the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, is, I is, is, is, is, is the, is the the bl, is the bl, is the the bl, the bl. Oh, I's, the the bl. I's, I'll. they. the the the the blou. the bl. the bl. the bl. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. Oh, the the tune for Paddington the Nickelodeon and and Robbie Williams is tiger that came to tea song. Astonishingly she's into two solo take that singles which is an astonishing. I want to just be playing playing the Beatles and stuff so it seeps in. You know when people hear about that. But the moment I try and put any music on she tries to put her own on so I'd prefer complete style that's. that. that's that that that the that that th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th th th th th th th th th th. th th the the. the. the. the. thi theol-I the. I'll will will will will will will will will will to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. I th. I th. I will th. I th. I'll the the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the to the. I'll to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to she tries to put her own on, so I'd prefer complete silent. That's an ongoing battle. That is an ongoing battle, but it will even itself out, bit by bit. The songs, some of the best songs will become earworms. So like my younger one, you know,

she's just started secondary school, but she bumps the Beach Boys, Queen. Oh wow. She's so eclectic. Shethe Goodfellas soundtrack, she loves. Climbing. And then like AJ Tracy. Do you know what I mean? I'm like, okay. And is she telling her friends that she likes this stuff? Or is that kind of her family kind of music? Certain friends. Like, she quite likes being the black sheep because all her friends.

the old friends listen to this, but the rest of the time she keeps it to herself and she knows that she's a freak. Do you know what the older one just listens to pop Harry Stiles, you know all that stuff? Do you find like, because I quite like the idea of, because obviously I don't know yet what my daughter is going to be like, but when we had Lucy Beaumont on and she was like quite pleased that I think she said a daughter was a bit a bit of a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a little th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their. their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. having quite an eccentric child or a daughter that wants to kind of kick against the mainstream. Absolutely. And I think the one thing that both my kids share is they've got that. And I think a part of that I have to say, I'm not not trying to blow my own trumpet, but a part of it, it has to be down to the fact that my life is not linear, do you mean? As much as I wasn't around in the early days when I was doing a lot of stand-up, later on, it was the complete opposite. You know, I was around all the time, you know, hanging out, we get to do amazing things, you know, when I went to host the Baftas, the Baftas in LA, I got they paid for me to their they they they they they their..., they, they, they, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, their, their, their, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, to, to, to, to, to, too, too, too, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, was, their me to take them with me, do you know what I mean? So they're in Hollywood, and I've taken them around the world on tours. We go to Glastonbury every year, thanks to comedy,

do, so they've grown up at Glaston-Bantho. Like, they're lucky. If you're exposed to Glastonbury because I've got friends that will take their kids to Glastonbury and I think I just feel so frustrated to be that close to the party but not able to be in the party if you know what I mean. Okay so you've got to be really smart. Yeah you've got to it it's very very difficult to do with little kids. I never did it. So what we used to do is we used to take them to whenever I did latitude we take them there, best of all,

camp best of all, very sort of child friendly. With Glastow we always made a pack me and my my sister is like no, it's just us two, they can go and stay at my sister's done, you know. Then as they got older, they'd just be like, they'd watch it on TV, you know, and they go, what, this looks like a better version of festival and latitude. And we're like, yeah, it is, it's the daddy. So we just bit the bullet and said, let's do it, but there's strategic ways of doing it. So if you know other comics or artists or even just friends who are going with kids, you can work it out. So say you do three, four nights, right, and there's two or three other families, then you go right, mom's night, Thursday night, do you know? Yes. That's a great plan. If it's just you and your missus, then like what we usually do is we say you have a night and I'll have a night, you know.

Yeah. Just go around, be weird, get weird, do whatever, and I'll just, I'll hold the foot. What's the morning like? Seven I am waking up in a tent. We have the little ones, it's horrendous. It's horrendous. It's horrendous. .

. Oh God, it's going to be the one that's got the second night for the one that's going out. You don't want to be burning your first night and then you're staring down the barrel of you staying in there. Yeah. I've got one final question, Ben, this is your chance to basically have a little moan about your partner. Is there one thing that frustrates you about the way they parent that you couldn't actually say to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the way they parent that you couldn't actually say to their face about it kicking off, but it is a fair thing. That you can now drop here and if she hears it then maybe she'll take it on board. Wow. I would say it's the coffee, the sort of coffee morning chats that she has with other mumps and then comes home with like this horror story. You've got to delete this app or you've got to just then should never be able to do this. And I'm like, I just know that just feels like it's something that someone said that they read in the Guardian or something and now everyone's freaking out. Yeah. My position has always been

and always will be. Let's just let's talk it out first. Yes. Because you can get freaked out. And I have this argument with my sister all the time because she gets super freaked out about certain things so that I know this damages kids is damaged. And maybe it does, but what's going on in that kid's house? There's it, maybe it does, but what's going on in that kid's house. tho's tho' that. You that. You that. You that. to, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, to, to, to, to, to, to, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, you, that, that, that, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you know, like because in my house we chat about this stuff and you

know I like to give my kids enough rope to hang themselves with so to speak you know like let them let them make their own mistakes but also give them the tools to understand like this might be problematic but no it's just going to blanket ban shit you know mean? My mom had to panic when Grand Fifth Auto came out and they got one kid at school, like, was playing it for ages and like got on weather, I had a seizure or something like that. He's like, you can't play that game in case you have a seizure. I was like, it's probably planning for like 20 hours. I mean, there you go They're going to have elements of you, but they're just going to work it out themselves, no matter what you do.

And if you really try and force the issue, they're going to go the other way. So the best thing to do is just talk it out. And when they do make a horrific mistake, you can just absolutely love the I told you so. That's what I lived with. That's what I lived with. Thanks, Ben. That's amazing. Perfect. Cheers, mate.

Cheers, thanks. Ben, Ben. Ben, Baily Smith, stroke, Doc, depending on, uh, I kept calling him tock, and thin. But then I was calling him Ben, oh, I thought, oh should I call him Doc a couple of times as well. It's a nightmare, isn't it? Yeah, but there we go. Wonderful man, really nice to speak to him. Yeah, fast.

I'm absolutely dreading the teenage years. Yeah, mate, that, that, all I've just looked at is asleep tonight. I was just horrified about like, imagine if you're daughter, whose daughters on Tick Tock and their phone numbers on it. I'd go mental. Yeah. I'd buy every phone in South East Under and Friday the River just so she couldn't get another one. I'll go to every shop. You can't stop them going on social media because do you remember the kid that's a to'

thrown? Yes, I know. Yes, I know. I know. thi no. Yeah no I think they can have a phone if they have social their social reader it's a private account. They can have a phone but it's got to be a Nokia 3310. Yeah just getting really good at a snake. I'm impressed your movies with snake. You could save 10 text messages. I can't wait to watch that CBB's bedtime thing thi thi thi. You know and he was half cut. Do you know what mate Romish did. Do th. R. R. R. R. R. R-I. R. R-I. R-I. R-I. R-I. R-I. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it, th. Do it, th. Do it, th. Do it, th. Do it, th. Do, th. Do it, thi. Do, the the the the their, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, the the the their. Do it, just, just, just, just, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Do it, th. Do it, th. S. S. S, th. S. S, th. S, thi. Sik, thi. Sik, thi. Sik, the. Sik, the. Sik, thin. Sik, the. Sik, the. Sike. Sike, the. S've got the same agent as Romesh and I said to her, when I saw him I text and I was like,

get me on that bloody C. BB's thing, presuming the call would come the next week that I've been drafted in. Not a fucking sniff, not heard a word about it. I want to go down the list and see who's done it. It's really good. It's got got got got got got got got got got above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above above Winnik. Mate, the list is, I'd say it's probably got the strongest booking list outside of the Graham Norton show. Or Desert Island Discs? Yeah, Desert Island Discs is an absolute lottery.

It was like, add it on deck and then it'd be like, oh, Philip. And then it'd be like, oh, Philippah? Rob, you are aware it's on Radio 4, mate. That's getting eight times the listeners is the Anton Deck one. It's only because they're too fucking old to change the channel and their old radios. I was waiting, I was listening to Desert Island Discs. Lie, lie, lie, like, what do Iouch and their continuity announcement was he went

next week we're joined by the comedian Michael McIntyre Lockin tire have you not heard oh my lord anyway thank you to Ben all do search out his hungover children's story on CBBs and do search out his his kids books thank you to everyone for listening. We'll be back on Friday. Yes. With various tales from your emails. That did I didn't mean that to rhyme but it's great. It was great. It was great, wasn't it? Chatting to a rapper. It's really rubbing off on you. Anyway, see you see it next time. Bye.