Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S01 EP52: "You could buy a lion from Harrods in the 1970s..."

Episode Date: October 23, 2020

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' - S01 EP52: "You could buy a lion from Harrods in the 1970s..."More misadventures in parenting from Josh and Rob.Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Looking for a collaborator for your career, a strong ally to support your next level success, you will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue. York you.C.A. Back to school signals a fresh start for students. New classmates, new teachers, new lessons. Change is in the air. But one thing hasn't changed.

The forward government still isn't investing in public schools. Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the supports they need. They can't wait another year. If the forward government won't change, it's time to change the government. Our kids are counting on us. Join us at Building Better Schools.C.A. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. Hello, I'm Josh Riddickham. And I'm Robbeckin. Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell. The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. And to make a little tricky. So in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation,

and to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. Hello you are listening to lockdown parent in hell with Arthur. Can you say Rob Beckett. I can't say Rob Beckett. No hunt. Can you say Josh. Can you say Rob Beckett? I can't. Say Rob Beckett. No, I can't. Can you say Josh Widdickham? Josh Widdickon. Oh, it looks like Arthur's got his favorite. You will notice you can only hear my voice listeners. That's because Josh Whitaker is currently late. So I'll

let you know who that was. This is my son Arthur age 3 who in the second week of lockdown snuck an orange highlighter pen off the table and decided to color his entire willy with it to make that as worse. He must have really enjoyed the sensation of color and he's knobbing as my six-year-old daughter said, why is his willy's so big and standing up like that? I was multified. My friends however, thought it was hilarious and offer refers to the lockdown highlighter dick incident. I think, I mean, that, it's a weird thing to read out on your own when your co-host is currently trying to get an Uber back from the nursery drop-off, but alas, I've had to deliver the Highlighter Dick news solo, because Josh Whitakam, listeners, is, he's been a busy boy this last week. He's recording hypothetical, but he's running late

and he's texted me running late, trying to get an Uber in the rain. And the thing with Josh is, he is one of the most disorganized people on paper, you know, when you listen to his comedy, everything's really well written, isn't it, and structured, but he's actually incredibly disorganized, so I am, oh, oh, oh, oh's he sent? Oh no, he sent me a photo of the inside of an Uber. Okay, what's your, what's your ETA? What will happen is, guys, I can guarantee that Josh will

turn up in a panic and a stress to record this but still have a hot cup of tea that he's made before the recording. He's one of those people, sorry I'm late but turns up at the meeting for Starbucks. So while he's waiting, I should deliver some information that we've got guys. For Josh's Wi-Fi 9-15 you at... Okay, sorry, well, it's currently 909 and he's gonna be another six minutes. He also said he's got a leave bang on, we're recorded 9 a.m. till 10 a.m. today, guys. Sorry, does it feel like a normal sham? I'm really exposing the engine under the car bonnet of life

for us at the moment. Shall I record a voice memo? You can play. Yeah, go on. Yes, please. replies yes. Anyway, so the fingers of Josh, right? He's, yeah, he's surprisingly to organize Josh, he's just sent a message, yeah? Let's see what you say. Still in the rain in the taxi, so I'm coming as fast as I can, but I'm not going to lie. Having to update my Uber app really, I mean, that's added two minutes on straight away. Okay. What the ethics with drinking your tea when wearing a mask? I. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tap. the tap. the tap. I's. I's. I's. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's the ethics with drinking a tea when wearing a mask and a cab? I knew he had a cup of tea! I knew it!

How have you got a cup of tea? Also, what's annoying at the moment is he keeps mentioning the rain, that, oh, I'm in the rain, in the cab as if the rain is holding him up. It's not a snowstorm, it's not a sandstorm. A tububub an u u u u Uber. An u Uber. An u Uber. thub can can can can can can can can can can can thub. An Uber. An Uber. An Uber. An Uber. An Uber. An Uber. An Uber can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can't can't can't can't thu. An Uber can't can't can't can't the the the thu. An Uber can't the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. too. thau. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. thau. way, people, but it's weird. When you watch Josh's comedy, I think Josh is an excellent stand-up. He's, you know, everything's so well written and measured and thought about, but in his life, it's all falling apart. I often describe Josh Whitakam's stand-up as like, damp, when you see him live, he sort of slowly builds, he's so well put together, you sort sort of don't even know it's happening. You don't even realize comedy's happening, but before you know it, just like Damp,

if you leave it long enough, it dominates the room. And I think that, I'd always say it's one of his greatest strengths of the comic. He's like the Uber was six minutes away and I had to update the app and I didn't want to just stand in the range I had to buy a tea for that reason. Okay that's fair enough he's had to buy a tea to get what is he doing? Sorry people. But don't fear I come loaded with great anecdotes for a parenthood. I'll smash out as soon as I sit down.

It sounds like he's drunk or on drugs. Right, I'll just tear this one little thing and then he should be here in a minute. We've had a lot of people message in saying, Sand's crotch fruit doesn't mean you've had your bollocks cut off. It means no fruits from your crotch and you've decided to remain childless. Just to confirm he's not been castrated. Right, I think he's here people. Hello.

Hello. Yes. Josh! Hello. I do apologize. Hugely unprofessional. Can I just say a few things have happened there. One I've just said how you were the one who said you had to do The 10 a.m. was the bit that was the most in concrete of those two times I'm going to be honest with you. Oh really? Well how comes, what

time is school drop-off? Wow, the traffic's got really bad on the way to, and I'm not going to lie Rob, a lot of the cabbies seem to think that Sadiq Kahn has intentionally closed some of the roads to make to make to make. to make. to make. their. their. thapk. th. th about then then then to th. th. th. th at that at that th at to to to to to to to that to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th to to the to the the the the the the the roads to make my journey worse. That's the implication of a lot of the cabbies I'm working with at the moment. Well, I have, in their defense, there are road shut, and I say, there's a road chart and they go COVID. And I just don't, that's not an answer. No. You can't shut a road for COVID, thrown. Why? I'm not going to lie. There's, there, there, there, there, there, there bumper. So what time is drop off? It's Mille B8 but I dropped her off at 830. Well it's not

going to be 8, it's from 8. It's from 8. What happened that you just got delayed this one did you? No she won't she we bought her and this is a great investment. Yeah it's really paid off at the moment 20 minutes to work. It plays a thing where you it plays the gruffelowl I I I I I I I I I I I I the the to to to the to to to the to the to the to the to to the to the to the to the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. the the the th. I th. I th. I'll. the the the to. I. I. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It's. It's. It's. I. I. I. It's. I. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's. plays the gruffelow and stories. The grufflo, read by Melda Staunton, who's obviously one of our great actresses as well. No idea she is, but I'll take that word for it. Yeah, yeah, she's very good, Rob. You're a Stiffleck's lover. I'm a Sheridan Swift girl.

Do you know what? You're a Melterstallon, and Smylton, that's some to stop. You're a male distorton, I'm Sheridan Smith. If you want the snail in the whale read by Gemma Collins, I'm sure you can get it, Rob. But, um... That would be a great read. Rob's gone boring person who went to Rada. And the G.C. thought the snail was a bit of a diva. I wanted to travel. So she's got... the ability to sleep in th in th in th in th in th in to sleep in the to sleep in to sleep in to sleep in to sleep in to sleep in to sleep in to sleep in to sleep in to sleep in the to sleep in the the the to sleep in the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to tho. tho. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. trimea. tri.ema. trema. troomoomoomorrow. the the the the thea. the. the. the. th morning now. Okay. And she's got a big bed now. So she's got, so she's got the ability to sleep in further than she did previously, I'd be awake but we don't realize she's awake. Okay.

And I didn't set my alarm. So we got up at 25 past 7. Oh, yeah, that's quite a quick turn around isn't. Also I did describe your comedy like damp. Damp. I should do some stuff on damp. That's really my... You would know, but the way you deliver it, I was saying because I'm on who's very disorganized, actually your comedy's very structured and very well put together and it sneaks up on you like damp where you don't even notice it. It's happening at the start and before you know it it dominates the room and it's all anyone can talk about in the room like oh my god you're smashing it but I think that also yeah yeah and there's also it's actually it's quite

financially difficult to get rid of yeah yeah yeah yeah well we've paid for the ticket now it was a compliment though Josh yeah thank you also also by who's gone you need a power line adapter for your Wi-Fi apparently a lot of IT people have got in touch in between a power line. A power line adept at it. It's got a power line adapter. It's like an electric cable that you have and you think you just plug straight into your computer. I'm just googling it now. There we go. You could wait to laugh the episode but it's okay. This is one of the least least the the the the the the the the least the least the least the least the least the least the least the least the least the least the least the wait till after the episode, but it's a... You know what I mean? This is one of the least professional warnings I've ever had. 25 minutes late, just Googling Powerline adapters. Oh, wait a minute. There's a write-up of the man you game class.

I'm just going to read that, Rob. And then I'm going to... I'm not going trying to solve this for you now, Josh, you know that. Yeah, well they're more than welcome to, um, try. Where are you recording from today though? It's like, the kitchen. The kitchen. It's a bit like, with you, it's a bit like Joe Wiley, on radio. It's like, I'm like, I from from from from from from from from, I their. th. their. It's like, it, it, it, it's a. th. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a little. It's a little. It's a little. It's a little. It's a little. It's a little. It's a little. It's a little. It's a little. It's a little, it's a little, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's a. th. It's, it. th. It's. It's. It's. th. th. th. th. It's. It's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. th. the. th. th. the. th the back of an Uber, that would be absolutely perfect for me. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber1 for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cashback on rides.

Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber won for students, a membership to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Joined for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. What does Possible for your business business. What does possible for your business business. What does possible to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the to the to their to spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with business platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and Conditions apply. Visit MX. C. A. S. A.X. to a today. Josh how's your week been. Fine. We've taken a step backwards in potty. Okay. Go on. So it was a very good start in

so she the weeds she so she, the wees she was doing in the potty, and then she went straight to pooze in the toilet. Oh, there was no potty situation. I was like, this is amazing. And now she's gone back, she's decided to take a step back to pooing into the potty, which is a heart, right? What's the technique technique technique technique technique technique technique technique technique technique technique, what technique, what's the thapapape? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, thirty, thigh, the thirty, the thee, the the to, the poo, the poo, the poo, to, to, to, to poo, to poo, to poo, to po po po po po po po po po. to po. to po. to po. to po. to, to, the po. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, they, they, they, they, they, they, the, the, the, the woomtoy. the the the the the the the wooooooooooo, th.'s the technique for getting rid of it? I go for, I basically just slam it down the toilet. I sort of bang it down the toilet. Yeah. And then I wipe it with a tissue and put it down a toilet. Yeah. And then a wet wipe if it's stubborn.

And then wash my hands. part of your regime. Part of the ceremony of it, do you know what I mean? So that's that's been alright. She got scratched at nursery. Oh, what evil little bastard did it? Do you know? They never tell you. They don't tell you. But as she turns out we've got a snitch in our midst. She, she told us. She grasped. Yeah. What's your vibe towards that child now because Because I could, I could, I think I could slap a child. I also like thing, I like the knowledge that I know who it is. I'd never hit a child, by the way, should just clarify for like I'd never hit a fuck child through like disciplining or like you've got to do this. So I think I've never done that and I never would thin. I that I that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the the the the thi tho- I've tho- I've th thu thu thu thu the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I've think I thi thi that's different. Is that a fair headline? Or a good kick, just a good kick up the ass.

Like David Beckham on Simeone, like a kind of, like a kind of, yeah, a lash out. Yeah, a lash out. There you go. Or just like, I look like I'm trying to pick my kid up, little elbow. I mean, I have, I've never never never, I have, I've never done it, been very tempted in a soft play when there's always that mad lunatic kid that is too big, running around, screaming and like I just think little trip sort of slough him up a bit wouldn't it?

Yeah. A bit like I feel like a footler in a 70s just put a bit on him early and it takes a wind out their sales. That's what you do do that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's what th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi that's that's that's that's thi. thi. thi their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi. thi thi. thi thi thi thi. thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their th. th. their their their th. their their their their thi their their thi thi thi thi thi's thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi them know you're there. And they know that they're in a game then. They know that. They can't have free run at the center. Exactly. I know nothing can. There won't, there will no like injury, but just a little, hello, just let them know you're there. Yeah. Exactly. That's That's fair, isn't it. I've got a a funny a funny a funny a funny a funny a funny. That's fair. That's fair. I that's fair. I that's fair. I that's fair. I that's a funny. I that's fair. I that's fair. That's fair. I that's fair. I that's a funny. That's a funny. That's a funny. That's a funny. That's a funny. That's fair. That's fair. That's a funny. That's a funny. That's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. They that's fair. They that's a funny. They that's a funny. They that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that they. They. They they. They're. They're. They're. They're they they're they're not. I. I they're not. They're they're they're they're not. They're they're not. They're they're they're they're not. They're that. They're thank you for doing that but those and people messages gone they were searching for the broccoli barber. Right we should have we should have got that. We should have started that Instagram. The broccoli but obviously hadn't heard of broccoli in South East London it's a place. Yeah looking at the broccoli but my brother didn't know that I gave him the shout out and he thought he was getting loads of weird bots because he got loads of followers and the first one was about three four in the morning and then he realized it was all the mums and dads getting up early listening to the fucker.

We should start the broccoli barber. Also I've got another thing my mom's complained about the giant doll that she bought for my daughter when she was born, because I was saying she was desperate to have daughters in the family. She said it wasn't from a market, it was from an actual shop, but she did agree it was actually bigger than the baby she bought it for. I think that's the key point. The market, I don't care if so. The market wasn't the detail I remembered. The fact you've been given a toy that's bigger that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's bigger than your child was what I was getting out but anyway so I stand corrected mother it wasn't from a market. I've got another update on my life I did go to the zoo on Sunday. Oh yes which was have you been to the zoo? London Zoo? Yeah why not? It's a classic. I'm a bit taught with zoos because I'd feel like they might be mean but my kids love them. I think the London zoo I think they're the the the the the the th th th th th th th th they're th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the thin the the the the tho thoes thoes thoes thoes tho tho tho tho tho tho their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho to to to to to the toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo their their their their their the London Zoo, they're pretty ethical. There's a picture of David Attenborough opening an enclosure. He's not gonna stick his name to something bad. I'm sick of him, Josh.

You need to really see which way the wind's blowing on this one, Rob. Yeah, but I don't care. I know everyone loves him and he's old, but I think he's great. But I just feel like, I know think it's great what he's doing, but I just feel like, fucking retire, let someone else have a go at it. He's done, he has done animals on BBC for 80 years.

Do you know what I have- Bloody Safari Adventure, just sitting there going, come on mate, it's my turn soon, isn't thin? I'm gonna say it, Josh I've got a chip on my shoulder about it because whenever I watch Planet Earth, those how it was made things, infuri at me is always a white middle class bloke that went to university going, oh yeah, actually me and Rupert sat out here for eight days to try and see the draft, and I feel like let's someone else have a fucking go. Do you know what I mean? It's never a geese are watching it, is it? I sound like me. th. It's th. It's th. thi thi thi, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I, I, I, I, thi, thi, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th. A, th. A, thi, thi, thi, thi, a white, a white, a white, a white, a white, a white, a white, a white, a white, a white, a white, a white, a white, a white, a white, a white, a white, a white, a white, a white, a white, a white, a white, a white, a white, a white, a white, a white, a white, a white, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, a white, a been her a week actually. He's put a scaffold up, yeah, not seen a draft. Like, it's all, I just, I just feel like, let, other people might engage with the environment if other people are allowed to fucking learn about it. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. I don't, I don't dislike Atchambra, but I just think, take someone else with their, who else is going to take over from him? I always get the feeling the feeling the feeling the feeling the feeling the feeling the feeling the feeling the feeling the feeling the feeling as well. It really does show up how little Atambra is doing. He just turns up in a big coat. He just turns up, I'm, to me fair he is 93, but he just turns up in a big coat and tells everyone off for how bad it is. And I'm like, I'm doing my best here at him brunt. Do you mean? I'm washing out the yogurt pots. What more can I do? That is a lot of yogurt pots. Good news, our producer has just got broccoli underscore barber on Instagram. So if anyone wants to follow broccoli underscore barber. Just photos of broccoli, I wonder whether you, just photos of people cutting broccoli really. Yeah, that'd be great.

Yeah, broccoli underscore. I mean, it'd be really upsetting for Joe's new venture. The broccoli barber has more followers than the broccoli barber. If we can get to that state, I'd I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'd th. th. I'd th. th. th. th. th. that's that's just just just just just thoes just that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. I's. I's. I's. I's. that's. that's. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. It is that is that is that is that is that's. It's. that's. It's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. that's that is that is a that is a that is a that is a that is that's that is that is that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that is that's that's tho followers than the broccoli barber. If we can get to that state I'd absolutely love it. So yeah I went to the zoo. Yeah how was the zoo? Sorry. Yeah it was good. Saw a giraffe, saw a tiger. Oh yeah, I still think at three they're too young to realize quite how unlikely

it is that they're going to see a giraffe in the middle of London. You want to go, come on, mate, that giraffe shouldn't be here, but they're just like, yeah, of course a giraffe's here. It's in my book. Do you know what I mean? He's here, because at some point, some mental Victorian circus had him jumping off of the trampoline, his granddad, now he's here. See this is why th this is why th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thus is thus is thus is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, because their, because their, because their, because their, because their, because their, because their, because their, because their, because their, because their, he. It. It's thi. It's here. It's here. It's here. It's here. It's here. It's here. It's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here, he's here. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. what's happening. We've got, we're doing that. No, this is some mad bastard bought that from Arrads 80 years ago and now you've got it. That's why it's here. I've never been to Harrods. You could buy a lion from Harrods in the 70s.

You could buy a lion from Harrods in the 70s. Yes! We're not on what I liedthen feed them to the lions? What? When they've got too many giraffes so they can't be re-homed or releasing to the wild, they just kill them and give them meat to the lions. Why do they need the school kids there? To teach them about... What? Teach them not to have the world they've seen a bit more like, it's just an animal and we've got to kill it. Essentially, Jeff, is that the UK having a weird relationship with the animals, Rob? The way we are with dogs and cats in the UK,

it's very different, in like Brazil, my mate's husband's Brazilian, and it's just like, you have a cat and a dog it lives outside, it's not part of the family, and it's very, it's, the, it. Rob I was I was recording another podcast. I mean I did mention it on that by shoot I'll mention it on this because it does play into the fact I was having to do it in the kitchen. Yeah, I was interviewing the football and Neville Southall. Oh yeah like a zoom call style thing and then he didn't he didn't murder a draft did he didn't murder a draft did he he in. And he. And he. He he he me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He didn't. He didn't. He didn't. He. He. He. He. He didn't. He didn't. He didn't. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He the. He the. He th. He did. He did. He did. He did. He did. He did. He did. He did. He did. He did. He did. He did. He did. He did. He did. He did. He did. He did. He did. He did. He did. He did. He did. He did actually, no. He's wrung his neck. Big-handed, big-handed bathed and saffle, I've always said it. My cat jumped up onto the sideboard in the kitchen and I couldn't do anything because I had to pretend to be part of the interview and just started licking the butter dish, the butter and I'm just sat there and all I'm doing is watching it and I can't do anything about it, absolutely paralyzed What the cat? What the devil say? Well I didn't know I didn't bring it up because I was like I don't want to ruin the interview but I go out and look I'm professional and you know how I hate

that. So I was just sat there during the interview and behind my laptop and just see a cat licking all of the butter in the butter ditch. Oh also. Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh so so so so so so so so so so so so so I so I so I so I so I so I so I so I so I so I so I so I so I so I so I so I so I so I so I was so I was so I was so I was so I was so I'm so I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th thi th thi th th thi th th th th th th th thi th thi th the the the the the the the the the the butter in the butter dish. Oh so they couldn't see it on your screen. No he couldn't see it. Oh, but you just sat to watch it. I'm just sat watching the cat licking the butter in the butter dish. See in Scandinavia they would have killed that cat and fed it to the foxes. And that's why they're such, you know, world power. they caused a lot of controversy in Denmark the ddem the ddem their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the of controversy in Denmark the giraffe killing, which I don't think, yeah. Oh shit. But in Denmark they were like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm never buying Lego again after that.

Yeah, I know, but yeah, I'm not saying I'm pro-draff killing, but I was just a... No, I did. But you could buyubs in there, like you could go and play with and buy like you would in a pet shop. Oh my word. Yeah. Didn't Grace Jones ride a tiger into Studio 54 in the 70s, have I made that up? That can't be true.

I don't know. But I do think we should probably talk about parenting in a minute. Sorry, yeah. Right. th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they they th. th. they th Right, should I tell you about my week of parenting, Josh? It's been busy, yeah? So basically, my daughter's obsessive trying to count to 100. And it's the most boring, infuriating task. It takes ages to count to 100. Yeah. What has she got to? Well, she can, but she does it all, but she basically, for some reason, she can count all the numbers apart from the, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, the the the the the the the the thi, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's to to to to be, it's to be, it's to be, it's to be, it's to be, it's to be, it's to be, it's to be, it's to be, it's to be, it's to be, it's to be, it's to be, it's to be, it's is is is, it's is, it's is, it's is, it's is, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to be toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, to be to be to be to me, it's to me, to me, to? Well she can but she does it all but she does it all but she'd like basically for some reason she can count all the numbers apart from 29, 39, 49 so she does it all and got a 20 21, and then she gets to 28 and then she's like uh and I'm 29 she goes 29 and then she does it all and she gets 39 so don't know why that

nine's fine her off or she goes if he counts to a hundred again I'm like no also also the gosh gosh gosh gosh gosh gosh gosh gosh gosh gosh gosh gosh gosh gosh gosh the he he he he he he he he he he he he he he the to to to the the to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. So. So. So the the the th. the the. the the the. the the. the. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. So thi. So thi. if he counts to 100 again I'm like no also Josh I cannot tell him how to spell right I don't understand the phonics situation yeah so they said cafe was on the screen she went daddy how can I add how do you spell cafe and I went C-A-F-E is what I know I don't know how to tell you and you she wanted to say k-a-f-e. But k-c's aren't always k-k, because the k-k is a k-in' it. What, Jesus, wept, Rob. Because a ceremony is not keremony, is it?

C's a bit like an S, isn't it? Oh God, I'm such a relic. Are we old? Yeah, all right. Can you work Snapchat? Can I work? No. Me neither. I've got no idea what's happened. Have you reached a point where you're, you know, like when you're a kid and there'd be things like your mom would struggle to work teletext and you'd think, I am never going to be that person. And now, I'm actually kind of relaxing into it and quite embracing. Yeah, yeah, you got, it's a balance so, isn't it? Because you don't want to be too far removed, but you don't want to look like, oh, hi guys,

you know, trying to be too trendy. Is there anything worse than someone who's in their 40s pretending that they like Dualipa Lea. Do you know what I mean. Well, that really into grime. Yeah, and I'll be honest with you, that last dual-leaf album is great, but I have gone off Wiley, so there we go, so that's one out of two. You've got off Wiley. That was so funny.

Wiley used to be on my pre-show playlist, right? And then obviously the pandemic I didn't give was on it and I was like quick change your song I didn't know if we'd been cancelled or not but I didn't know I'm got the song's great yeah sure but again I don't put some Kasabian on that we fine oh no not him god it's hard to keep up with who's awful because I want to make a moral decision on it but I can, if you don't watch a look, you can't imagine that like, because if you aren't really on social media, the wily thing was more of a social media story, it sort of broke through into the main news, we didn't really. It's so hard to know, isn't it?

We've got to talk about parenting, Rob. your own parenting. Have you ever watched Sam and Billy Fares mum diaries right on ITVB? Great. No Rob, too busy watching stuff with them old to Staunton. Yeah exactly. You ain't going to get your Staunton fixing this but so basically they are the two girls from Towie that are, you know, a bit older now and got kids and it's all about their kids going to school and all that. So it's a mummy diaries essentially. And so Billy Fairs and her husband Greg are a bit more children, a bit more like fun and silly and stuff like that, where Sam, the other sister and her husband poor are quite like, oh, our beautiful little baby. Everything's quite dramatic about their like, it's very like important and pure this little kid where, you know. Anyway, so they're a a a a a they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a bit, they're a bit, they're a bit, they're a bit, they're a bit, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, their, their, so, their, their, so, their, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so anyway so they're a bit more relaxed the other brother the other sister But then Sam they they kid this is right if you want to feel better about get your kid to school

This is amazing so it's his first day of school young young. It's called so the this pool and there's pool and their kids called pool Paul Paul Jr so it's his first day school he never really went to nursery. So he's a big. There's the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their their their their. There. There's. There's their. There's their. There's their. There's their. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's their. There's their. There's their. There's their. There's their. There's their. There's their. There's their. It's their. It's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their's his first day of school. He never really went to nursery, which was a big sort of thing in the show that he never went to nursery, and he still sleeps in the bed with the dad, I think, and stuff like that. I'm not sure. So he couldn't, they couldn't get him out of bed to get dressed's got to fucking school here you can't just lay you know oh I don't want to go you know get to fucking

school right I mean obviously I wouldn't go to that level immediately but you've got I think you've got a bit of cruel to be kind sometimes the kids anyway so you can't get him out of bed so she phones to phone to the school to so so to to to the school th so the school th go th go th go th go th go th go th go th go th go th go th go th th th th the tho the the the tho the the tho the the the the the the to the the the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho tho the the the the thean the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to thoo the oh yeah, we're just having a bit of trouble, actually, that he's not, we can't get him out of bed to get dressed. Can you imagine ringing a school, right? Oh, yeah, he's a bit nervous. It's probably the fucking film crew in his bedroom that's worrying him. When did he wake up? Five-hour when the film crew knocked on the door to come in, a light in the room. They brought his flat white and cross on in at six, but he's still in bed. Right, so she's phoned the school,

and the school's going, oh well, you're obviously going, it's just lunatic, that's the kid can't get drunk. Like that, she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she says she says she says she says, just, just, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, just, just, oh, oh, oh, I th. She's just, I th. She's just, I thoom, I thoom, I I just lunatic, ringing me that the kid can't get dressed. Like that is sending, if I'm a teacher, walling signs are right, she goes, yeah, just can't get him out of best. And they go, well, just try your best and if he's a bit late, doesn't matter, or if he just would rather have him in in his own clothes, and the uniform, if it means that's all we can do, and that we can't, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, they.. they. they. they. to. to. to. they, and, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, the, the, the, the, the.. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. t. t. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the, just. the, just. the, just. the. the, just. the. t so they'd be really nice of school and then eventually and then it cuts like oh we managed to get him out of bed and and he's off to school and then he's obviously half an hour late because when they drop off the school there's no cars there's there's no traffic there's no kids and he goes in quite happy right and he comes over school really they're sitting there they're talking about it and they're they're sitting they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th thin thi thi thi thi to to to to to to tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi thi thi they say to each other, oh I can't believe it. I don't think that day could have gone any better. I was like, you couldn't have got any better.

You run the school to say he won't get out of bed and he was 20 minutes late. His first day was, it couldn't, I do you are, on time and he got dressed, I reckon could have gone better. And you're watching it in just disbelief? I was just like, what do you mean? It couldn't have got any better. So do you watch this regularly? I loved it in the first series when they had little kids

and it was a bit more traumatic because it made me feel better about like, oh God. A bit like, a bit like this podcast really where you see other people struggling a bit there. But now the kids are in their older, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I'm, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th....... th. th. th. th. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thooo. the the the thi, thi, to do with them. Because once the kids are in school, really, I know there's weekends and stuff, but like I'm finding that once the kids are in school, like you just really love and cherish the time you've got with them at weekends, yeah, sure, let's have a chat about this at the end of half-term because I already can feel my tensions rising. But the second like a second wave of like a second wave of like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm like,the show and I love it for those moments when they're a little bit in their own world little thing of like I couldn't have gone better I was like yes it could but I just couldn't it's just made me laugh so much but yeah it's quite a good watch yeah I

will watch it I mean I don't understand what you're gonna do with that show once the people once the kids are in school it's their the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th th th thi tho tho tho tho tooooo thooo tho tho their tho their their their their their their their their their to be them basically sat at home basically watching their own show. I think they are, well one of the couples have just bought a family home that they're doing up so that will be right. And I do think they want more kids but I genuinely think they may have more kids for another series. Do you know what I mean? Cut to this sort of like this show Petering out in 10 years time and me and Lou have twins just to... Just to try and get it going. We've adopted triplets just for the listeners. What Michael Dron was able to do was take it to that Bay Booth place where basketball had become ingrained in the country's entire consciousness. The Air Jordan was something that transcended all these different borders that hadn't really been transcended before.

The shoes gained very quickly a huge street value in American culture. And all of a sudden overnight it was just like everybody wanted them. What the hell's a Nike doing? We're in now the 80s and we're putting the black guy on television to sell shoes to white America. What he did in terms of global marketing and giving other black athletes a blueprint to do that was quite revolutionary. David Falk, to his credit, said, I got a name for this thing. It should be called Air Jordan.

Michael always tells me it's the first and the last grade idea I ever had. It was like what the Beatles were, people screaming, and then you had Michael Jordan. You had Paul and John rolled into one. They'd hoped to sell $3 million worth of shoes, and they sold $126 million in the first year. No one did for marketing what Nike and Michael did for marketing. Nobody.

Everything he was doing correlated to those shoes. And we bought any of that because what was the tagline they were selling us. Is it the shoes? You said, hey, man, I can't be Michael Jordan, but I can have this piece of what he represents. The demand of his product and product with his name on it, he reached a point where crimes were basically being committed. Nike, they have a responsibility in this, and they have to do something. And if nothing happens, we'll see more cases like this. You'll see more mothers and fathers like me. The real problem is they don't want to address it in a meaningful way.

The Air Jordans are in the image of Michael Jordan. Shouldn't he have some say about what's going on? I am in no way, shape or form blaming Nike for my son's death. But they can say something. One man in his shoes, out now in selected cinemas and on VOD from October 26th. We've had a few more Instagram messages come in Josh. Yeah. This is from Maximus Beardicus.

I imagine he's got a big beard. Sometimes I put movies on that are in Spanish and when my kids get really confused and ask why they can't understand it, I tell them they're just tired and should probably take a nap. Then when they wake up from the nap, I put the same movie on English and they think they're all better. That is evil. That is astonishing. That is mental, isn't it? But that is that is that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thi. That thi- thi- thi- thi- they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they they're they're they're thi. I. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi go to Spain on holiday, they're just going to think they're really tired. I know. Dora Explorers can be a weird one for them. Little flashes of it now and again. I used to write on that, mate.

What? I used to write Dora the Explorer? Used to write the magazines. Really? How has this ever come up in my laugh? No, no, no, no, no, no. I'll be honest with you, I didn't have enough power. There's quite a lot of levels above me at the publisher and at Nickelodeon. So really, when I say I used to write it, that implies a creativity that was probably quite missing. You were told to write a story about this or that. You'd basically watch you'd to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write write the story to write write write write write to write write write to write to write to write to write the story to write the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story their their their. their. their. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. this or that? You'd basically watch the episode and then you'd have to kind turn it into a story for the magazine. Oh right, okay, so you was adapting like sort of great,

you know, like the Oscars, best adaptation. Exactly, a very similar situation. In the same way, Jurassic Park was originally a book before it was a movie. No it weren't. No it weren't. Was it? Oh, you'd have to do so much imagining of those dinosaurs in that book. That's a lot of, that's putting a lot on the reader, in it. I think, one of the things with books, and you do have to do a lot of imagining, right? No, but that's too much imagining. Bridget Jones, not much imagining. But they, they help you out. They say like in the book, the book, the, the, the, the, the, the, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the so they say like in the book, the book starts and it says the main guy says he looks a lot like Sam Neal. So you know where you are with him. I try to read, I've tried to read East of Eden.

It's Lou's favorite book ever, right? And it is so long, mate. Like the way Steinbeck describes Meadows. It's like it was on a bet. I bet you can't get eight pages on a field. You fucking watch me. I'm like I know what a meadow looks like mate. I don't know. It's grassy. Let's go, let's go. What's that into them? I'm going to say it, and I hold myself 88% responsible for this. This has been, it's a very busy week for me, and I've shambled into this episode, and it's been almost shambling, whatever. And now I'm three minutes from having to go to a meeting. I do apologize to the listeners. But I think, if anything anything it was worth it to hear that Rob has tried to eat Easter Eden and there was too much stuff about Madoes.

Oh we've got to go now then because you're busy Josh is that what's happening? I'm sorry? Unbelievable this is. 25 minutes late leaving now for a meeting about last leg, pointless, pointless. What day? What day is it? Was it Wednesday? All the news will change by Friday? Just turn up on Friday? You don't write anything, do you? You just make it up on the spot, then you? Well, certainly for this episode, I made it up on the spot, and I think you can see that it did need a bit more writing. Fair enough. All then we'll crack on with that, and if it's not hilarious on Friday, all the listeners will be furious. They will be. But. But, we will will will will be. But, we will be. But, we will be. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. thee. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thtime. Proper long one next time. Thank you for everyone for your correspondence. It's just been, you know, it's really built, built the backbone for this episode. Oh, I can tell you that.

I love hearing from the list. Also as well, if you have got a bit of extra time on your hands now, this episode short. I can recommend chapter eight. those explained. Right, see you next time. You read it to Chapter 8. Well done, mate. I'll see you on Tuesday. Bye.