Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S01 EP64: Sindhu Vee

Episode Date: December 5, 2020

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' - S01 EP64: Sindhu VeeJoining us in the studio this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) during the lockdown and beyond is the brilliant comedian, Sindhu Vee.Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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and member terms apply hello I'm Josh Whitakam welcome to lock down welcome to lockdown the show in which Rob and I to be a parent during lockdown which I would say can be a little tricky. So in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation. And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest none of us know what we're doing. Hello and welcome to lockdown parenting hell with Rob Beckett.

I just say it daddy. And you say Josh Whitticum, Hello and welcome to lockdown parent in hell with Rob Beckett. That's saying daddy. And you say, Josh Whitakum. Just saying it for me. There you go, didn't want to say it. That's Joseph two and a half asking his parents to say it for him. Come on, Joseph, just pull your finger out. It's our time, unprecedented times here. We just need, you know, just need our name said by child. Exactly. Come, we, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, to to, to to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say. to say. to say. to say. to say. to say, to say, to say, to say, to to thi. to say, thi. to say, to say, thi. to to to tho. to too. too. too. too. too. too. too. to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, unprecedented times here. We just need, you know, just need a name said by a child. Sort of asking.

Exactly, come, we're all pulling the same direction in, mate. How about you, Josh, good? Yeah, fine, totally fine. You've been working a lot. When's last leg finishing? Is it up until Christmas? No, it's December the 11th. So, we normally we'd go, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, th, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to. the to. too, the the too, the the the the the too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, the we've gone up to Christmas. So this is the first time I'm like, I'm gonna have some time before Christmas. Oh, and basically I'm done, apart from a couple of the Zoom gigs, on December the 12th.

And I'm just, I'm just on Easy Street. What's your, what's your Christmas plan? What the toys you're getting for the little one or? We we we we we the th, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th, th, th, th, th................. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, the, the, the, to, the, thi. So, thi. So, to, to, to, th to to to to to to to to to to to to, to to She's got really into Christmas now. This is the first year. Oh right, okay so she's she's proper for it. She wants a pink sparkly bike. That's it. Absolute classic. And she wants a Elsa jigsaw. I'll be honest with you. She's really, you know those things you think, oh that she's not going to get into unicorns in the color pink. Like other girl and she fucking has mate. Well that's the thing that's what our five-year-old is that the same. Our two-year-old, she's a lot more into, she absolutely loves dinosaurs. Right. I cannot get enough enough of them. Yeah. But I'm desperate to watch drastic parts of a fa. Yeah, I love all the d d d d d drastic. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's their. It's their. It's their their their th. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like their that's like their their. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like, their. It's like, their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the same. the I'm just panicked. I cannot go too early with it. I think they spoke about this before and they're way too young for it now. Exactly. So it's just a waiting game. So I just need to know when I can show them the first Jurassic Park, need to work it out. Probably about 10? Yeah, potentially. But it's weird though because a ten they're their 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10. they're 10 10 10. they're 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10, because, because, because a 10, because a 10, because a 10, because a 10, because a 10, because a 10, because a 10, because a 10, because a 10, because a 10, because a 10, because a 10, because a 10, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, they're, they're, th. I, th. I, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're theyto Santa. And he said his boy, 100% is over the sort of magic of Christmas.

And it's Christmas list. It's like a sort of like a hostage demand list, like in a negotiation. It's just written it on a bit of like a4 paper at the printer that's folding an half all creased. And just written in the top left down corner Dear Santa I've been good this year so can I have PS5 or Macbook skateboarded Apollo 11 rocket Lego clothes money football boots good quality Mike rugby ball not even a thank you. Good quality Mike. I know they're all they're all broadcasters now Josh. Bloody yeah we're in trouble aren't we really made me laugh do you do how Christmas is your house have you got your tree? Oh yeah we've we we we we we we we we we we've they. we've they. we've they. they. they. they. they. We've they. We've they. they. they. they. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're all all. their they're all. they're all. they're all. they're all. they're all. they're all. they're all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all. they're all. they're all. they're all. they're all. their all. their all. their all. their all. their all. their all. their their. they're all. they're all. they're all. they're all. they're all. they're all. they're all. they're, how Christmasy is your house? Have you got your tree up? Oh yeah, we've gone full Christmas. This year, first year, artificial,

first year, artificial. With the amount you leave your heating on, those, those needles are going to be on the floor by December 12th, right? You are going to be very, very anti this. You've got a plastic tree. You've got a plastic true. We. We. We. We. We. We. t. We. t. t. We. th. th. th. the th. We. the th. We've. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the first. We've the first. With. With the the the the the the first. With. With. With. With. With. With. With. With. With. With. With. With. With. With. With. With. With. With. With. With. With. With. With. With. With. With. With. With. First. First. First. First. First. First. First. First. It. It. First. First. It's. First. It's. First, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the amount. the amount. the amount. the amount. the amount. First, first the amount. First, first. First, first gone, the first year, I've always been anti it, but I've got sick of... Rob Beckett fans would not be happy if you didn't have a fake trade. It's an artificial. Stop saying fake, stop saying plastic. It's artificial. It's like it's 4G. I've got 4G. I've got 4G. Astrochurchery. It's like a pitch in Sweden. But you know, it's it does look realistic. It's good. But I'm you, you, you, you, you, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, stop. Stop, stop. Stop, stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's their. Stop, it's their. Stop, it's the same. Stop, it's their. Stop, it's their. Stop, it's, it's, it's their. Stop. Stop, it's, it's good but I just think yeah the the needles would drop the amount of heating we've got in a house it's just they're thirsty thirsty are you pouring an innocent smoothie down on for their for it to a for it to keep hydrated throughout but a bit of a couple of Lucasades just to keep it energized but I'd say what is good I went to Costco and they sell these like garland things and you they're like a tha' the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I'm th I'm th. th. th. th. th. I'll th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I'm their their their their their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. they're th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're about... Like a reef? Yeah, but not a reef, but it's in one long, imagine like a really long fat bit of tinsel,

but it's not tinsel, but it looks like a green, like a bit of a tree. I want you to be about. So it's about five foot long, right? I think there's about 20 or 30 quid. With lights on on baubles and you just plug a their their their their th. It th. th. thso, it, it, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th you know in America it's so much more festive than this country they just put it everywhere and that it's an absolute game changer it is so festive our house I'm loving it. I uh we haven't we haven't done it yet because we we got the tree too early three years ago and by Christmas Day it was that's the problem with a

real tracks when you go artificial you can pop it up late November. Yeah, I'm not going to go artificial, Rob. Come on, mate. Why not? Why not? Because I don't want to go with an artificial tree. I like the smell. Get a candle, and cheat it. We've got a candle and cheat it.

We've got a candle, we've got some room diffuses. It looks and smells like a real tree. lit already lights on it. You don't have to find the fairy lights, you don't have to twirl them and tangle them around, you just plug it in. That's one of the best bits, getting Christmas tree ready. But what's the worst bit? Taking those lights off as the needles fall? No, I do quite enjoy the dismantling of the Christmas tree. Where do you get rid of it though? The council? They don't they don't th th th th th th they don't th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the. their their the the. the. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. their their their their their their their their th. their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. the. Christmas council. They're council, they don't know what's going on, I don't know what day all the week is. But our ones, they go, yeah, take it to a local park. Do they? Do they? I'm not gonna get that in a car and drive it to a park?

It's a nightmare. Take it the park. It's like, you're basically, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they're. they. they're. they. they. they're. they plague, they just threw bodies on top of each other and buried it. It's like that. It's like a fenced-off area, you just chat the trees in and it parls up like some sort of horrendous. Oh no no, no, pack any council come and get it. If I could put, if I was allowed to put a tree on the street and the garden. Well, that's what you used to do and rent is properly. Is it true that you're not having real food for your Christmas dinner as well? You're just going to release the smell of turkey and then have a plastic one in the middle of the table. It's our hook, our Christmas. We use our imagination and just launch it, and throwns, it's their th was just chocolates and toys and stuff like that. So what she's done this year is a book vent. So she's got loads of books and they get a book each day.

They're sharing an advent calendar and then they unwrap a book and then they read that night a Christmasy book leading up to Christmas. Blamey. Yeah, it's pretty impressive what she's done. Yeah, she wants to start selling. the their. their. to. to. to start. to start. to start. to start. to start. to start. to start. to start. to start. to start. to start. to start. to start. to start. to start. to start. to start. to start. to start. T. their. They. They's. T. T. T. T. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They're. They. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. the. They're. the. they're......................................................'s a great idea. I mean maybe have I given away the idea already. Yeah, I think you're fine because this is like the equivalent of like you can use this in court because this is time sensitive. Well yeah, I'm going to show you the book then and if people are interested in the book then, we will sell them next year. That's the deal. We'll stick that on Instagram. Do you care what you get for Christmas now? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. this is this is this is this is this is this is this is though because I'm not really into anything to flash. Like, I quite like computer games, stuff like that, but a lot of the time I would just buy that for myself throughout the year. Especially because I do YouTube videos of me playing computer games. I sort of justify it at work.

So yeah, it's not really anything that I, normally we do experiences that will go on holiday or lured book a hotel and that kind of stuff, rather, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, th, th, like, th, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the the the the the the the the the th, I, I th, I'm, I'm, th.. tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, thoo, but I'm not really like I want to do, I don't really have, I'm not into watches or into cars or into fancy clothes. I mean who gets a car, you don't get a car for Christmas. So yeah, not really, but probably a bit of Lego I'll be happy with Josh. Yeah? And then when when the kids are in bed I'll do that in the evening with a nice glass glass. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. to th. the to to to to to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to watches, I to watches, I to to the watches, I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tas. the the the the thea. thea. the thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea Christmas? I don't really do. I think it's the same. Like I never thought I'd reach the stage where I actually prefer giving the presents to getting them now. I go, yeah. I thought that was, when people used to say that I think you fucking liar. You absolutely fucking-Lewis ever and you think that's the best way to be. Don't you dare to give me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me that. that. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. Do me th. Do me the the the that. Do th. th. th. th. that. that. that. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. the. the. theat. theat. theateat. theatea. theatea. thea. theatea. theateatea. thea. theat. I th shit. Everyone wants to get loads of presents. But actually, as long as I got a chocolate orange, I can give a shit. Though the advice I'd give though for parents at Christmas is I got the, they got a like, a Disney sort of like Castle thing that you had to assemble and obviously it's hard to do it. So I spent four hours assembling a Disney castle Christmas Eve up up against the clock.

So I was trying to lose that offer on Sherry having a laugh and I'm sat there like a factory worker. Oh against the clock as in time wise. Yeah because I'm picturing you like leaving on a grandfather clock. Yeah no but like having to do that and like we want to get the tramp. I mean they're not going to listen to this are they and? And there's someone listening to this and then tells them it and ruin my kids Christmas. That'd be awful. But a trampoline for Christmas, but it's so big we had to get it delivered to like grandparents, so it's in the grandparents' garage. Got no way to put it. So it's in there.. Put some tins around it. And also their bedrooms look out onto the back garden. So it's like I've got to wait to their different, so I reckon it'll you'll have to put up like a sheet around yourself like when they kill a horse at the Grand

National. Yeah, something like yeah. Or like you know when they like makes a big building disape like in the morale. Yeah I don't know what I'm going to do because really the only the only time I can do it because I can't assemble it anywhere else and then drive it over. It's not like a small thing. It's got to be so when you're all sat having a baby. Be honest Rob. Be honest. Two questions. So say say you're doing this at what? 8 p.m. on Christmas Eve. I reckon 8 p.m. 8. At th. 8. 8. 8. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m. the the th. I would would be the the their their their their their their their. I their th. I their. I their. I their. I their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. th. A. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A 8 p.m. on Christmas Eve? I reckon 8 p.m. would be the earliest because they've got to be sound asleep. 9 p.m. on Christmas eve when you're assembling the trampoline. It's gonna be yeah how pissed you're gonna be out of 10? Angry or drunk? Drunk. Because I'm not an American mate. I reckon what what will happen is the problem is it's gonna be so cold I'm gonna be on my own. to? the the the the the. the the. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be to be the the, to be to be the the, to be to be the the, to be their. to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be their. to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their tape. their tape. their their their tape. I. I. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm going to be on my own because of lockdown rules. Is there not like someone who's bubbling with you that could help you like lose dad or your dad or something? Yeah, but I can't make someone come in my garden at 9 p.m. and put a trampoline together? Christmas Eve.

So I just want to be waltzaheim to know when you're never wanted a white Christmas more now that I know this is going on. Or I could or I could risk it get pissed and get up early and do it at 3 a.m. No way if you're pissed and you're doing it you're gonna have a go. Oh yeah I'm definitely gonna have a go. I'm thinking like getting a big boat to put on it as well because that'd be quite fun but it will be amazing when they's. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they'll they'll. their. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. thi. to to to to to to thi. to to te. to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi be amazing when they see it and they're excited to see it and go on it. But it's just a bit of a logistical nightmare. So if anyone's got any tips on that, I'm sure other people have assembled a trampoline. How hard is it? Do I need a second person? But yeah, I'd love to be driving to a petrol station to try and

buy them weird little rectangle ones. Oh yeah, the weird little rectangle ones, no one wants them. I remember Christmas Day things not working and it's an absolute heartbreaker, isn't it? Yes, it's awful. So yeah so that's gonna be my challenge, Christmas Eve. Let us know what you've assembled Christmas Eve. What Christmas present style disasters you've had? Rob, would you like to see a three-year-old with insanely long hair? Yes, please. Yeah, because I said you can tell the age of a kid by how long the hair is.

Attached as a picture of my daughter, how old do you think she is? Before I guess, before I guess, what I was saying was, you can tell, if there's two children next to each other, normally girls, I can tell which one's older. I don't know if I can necessarily guess the age, but I'll be able to tell, even if the same height, it's the same, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, they, they, the, they, the, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, if the, if the, if the, if the, if the, if the, if the, if the, if there, if, if they, if they, if the, if the, if the, if there, if there, if there, if there, if there, if there, if there, if there, if, if there, if, if there, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is............ they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they, if there, if there, if there's, they, they, they, they. they. they. they. they. they. their, if there's, if there's, if there's, if there, if there height, I'll be able to tell who's older by the hair length. Yeah, well this girl, oh wow. I mean she looks young, doesn't she? That looks like a wig. That can't be all her eggs.

So this is a picture of my three-year-old. Three? Three? I was going to, honestly, I thought she was a little five-year-old. She looks like cousinette. that is th. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi-I. thi-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I thi-I thi-I thi-shea-she's-I thi-I thi-I look like, I thi-shee. She looks like, I thi-shee. She's, I thi-shee. She's, I thi-n. She's, I thi-shea. She looks, I th. She's, she looks like, she looks like, she looks like, she looks like, she looks like, she's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's, she's, she's like, she's like, she's like, I thi-s. thi-s. thou-s. thin. thoooooooooooomeree. She looks like, I thi-s. She looks like, I thi-s. She's-s that's unfair, but like the hair is as thick and long as cousin it, but they've obviously cut the fringe. That is insane in three years. She's so cute, this girl. We've had 12 inches of the hair cut off and donated to the little princess trust who make wigs for girls who have cancer.

I mean, it's, which is obviously a lovely thing to do. Yeah, I think. that, which, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, thi. thi. that's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, in, thr-a, thi, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. th this means this girl is just going to have really fast growing hair for the rest of her life? I mean, yeah, I think that's just going to, she's going to spend, it's all fun and games now but the money she's going to have to spend at airdressers. Yeah, I'll have to go airdressers, why? I've just tri just put it on for fun. I've got questions really. Just, you know, what do you do with it? When she goes to preschool and her, is it, Platts? Are you putting it up? You can't put it up in a messy light fun? It's too much. Or is the parents have fast-grown hair? Is her dad team wolf? Let us know. Do get in touch. Do let us know on all of those those those those those those those those those those those th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. things. Can she sloondunk? What does possible sound like for your business? It's having to spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit.

Redefine possible with business platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and conditions apply. Visit MX.C. Back to school signals a fresh start for students. New classmates, new teachers, new lessons. Change is in the air. But one thing hasn't changed.

The forward government still isn't investing in public schools. Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the supports they need. They can't wait another year. If the forward government won't change, it's time to change the government. Our kids are counting on us. Join us at buildingbetterschools.c.c.a. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. Right. Steph Collison, this is, if you are struggling with taking the dummies away from your children, this is a story that might make you feel better about your own experience. We tried the first time to take her dummy away when she was two and a half.

Did the whole fairy gift pulava, she got a new doll's house and was very happy to give her up her dummy. The first two nights she slept like an absolute dream. Couldn't work out why people thought it was so hard, how stupid I was. Night 3 she woke up crying and wouldn't stop. She did this every single night. I didn't get more than two hours sleep a night for almost three months. Jesus, just give her the dummy. Give her the dummy. After my eye twitched after 57 consecutive days, through sheer exhaustion I gave her the dummies back. 57 days! Oh no! Oh, you've done so well and then he's... Because he just sort of think, I've lost two months of sleep for nothing.

Oh God, 57 days! 57 days makes it worse. If she said it after a couple of months, but you know she's counted them. Yeah, she's now four and a half and has been dummy free for a year after the third attempt to take it away. I do think though, with the the their their their their their do think though with the dummy, it's no point rushing it.

If they really want it and they let them have it. I do think though, it's quite good to go like, what, because I had a dummy till I was about three I think, or four, and my mom and dad said, you can have a dummy, but you can only have a dummythat you're scared about doing, they just get there naturally and it's actually fine. And you don't need to rush it type of thing and I think you get so, especially when you first, it's so caught, I've got to get rid of the dummy

and it's sort of, you're causing you and the kid unnecessary drama for really, for really who gives you a good. to really who to they, who they, who they, who they, who's, who's, if you still had your parents, somebody like, we've got to start, he keeps going to smother himself, keep eyeing under that duvet. Do I mean, but you're a grown-up, you make your choices, you shuffle down? Give you life a good. I ain't gonna judge her. I think the last thing we've probably got, going to put any pressure on this or make it. Why? So much of the pressure put on those things and I think a part of Lipp was like with me with a

dummy was a bit like that was like you feel like a kind of societal pressure don't you? Yes, I think. Yeah, exactly. But and you know and I think it's just not putting too much pressure on you or the kid because if it's making a mappy and they're cool with it. And with the nappy thing, we don't have nappies in the night now at all for the three-year-old. And that was because she went, I don't want to wear a nappy, it's scratchy. So we said, wear the nappie then you can have no nappy so in the end she was okay and then she did have a dry nappy for like about a week and half two weeks in a row then all right they will take it up now she doesn't have one but it's like we allowed her to tell us she didn't want to wear it

anymore they've got to be into notired and stress. You're going to have to keep changing the beds and just sheets and stuff. There's no rush for it. Totally. I've never met anyone who's 27 still wearing a nappy a night just in case. You got to 23, didn't you? Yes, exactly. And then I've thought I've got to make a change. And I get some more in because some of these are just from quite old episodes, but it's still quite funny. This one's about having kids close together. Great podcast, guys. We've got a 22-month-old and a four-month-old. Just a quick story. We were told by our midwife that when having the first, be careful.

the first, so that's good though. You're on IV if it's expensive, you've got all three. You're tapping out after that, you think, wouldn't you? Yeah? Yeah? So after they were born, she was round and having the same chat about, be careful. I know you went through IVF, but you can't get pregnant really quickly, thi th and th and th and th and th and th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, you've th, you've tho, you're th, you're tho, thi, you're th, you're th, you're tho, you're tho, you're though, you've though, you've though, you've tho, you're tho, you've tho, you've tho, you've tho, you've th, you've th, you've th, you've th, you've th, you've th, you've th, you've th, you've th, th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, threat, threat, threaten, threaten, threaten, threaten, threaten, there's no chance. We've had to have IVF so we doubt it would happen that easily and we've ended up with Triplie's so we'd rather stop there, okay? Two and a half months later, guess who's pregnant with twins? Five children

under the age of one. Oh my God. Oh my word. Wow. Five under one! Five under one! I think that's worse than having five at once. Do you mean? Because at least if you've got five at once, they're all at the same stage. But imagine everyone's just nine months behind. Oh my God.

Oh my God. I genuinely, before I had kids, I used to think twins would probably be the dream scenario because you just bash them out, you know what I mean? And it would be like, you got two kids to the price of one, but actually five in a, oh my word. Five under one. Five under one. You'd have to get, you'd have to get help, you can't do that. I couldn't look after five kids on my own. No. I could do one.

I was talking to my friend who works on last leg. He's got three and I was like, I was like, I'll be up to this weekend. He was like, I'm my wife's working, so I'm just going one on three. And I genuinely, I just couldn't even tho' tho, I tho, I thuuu, I thus, I thus, I thus, I thus, I thus, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I tho, I tho, I that, I that, that, I tho, I tho, I to tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, to that, to to to to to to to to to to to to to throoooooooooooo, that, that, the moment, there's one kid. I know loads of people do it, but I was like, how the fuck do that? You know when you like hear about like Dolly Parton's one of, what is she, one of 12 or something mad like that? What's your day? Well, I think when there's 12, when there's 12, the eldest starts looking after the kids for you, because they want to feel, you know, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, th, th, the, th, thi, the, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what............... th. to, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, is. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to.the work. Having one kid changes your lifestyle completely, right?

But going from one to two, absolutely sort of screws you with like, it's just, you're just split completely between them. So I think from two to three isn't that big a jump as from one to two. It is hard to work, obviously having three kids, but you're just used to, that's just that's just, that's just, that's just, that's just, that's just, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, the, the, th, the, th, the, thi, the, thi, thi, thi, they... thi, thi, thi, the, the, their, their, their, their, absolutely, their, absolutely, absolutely, their, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, the, absolutely, absolutely, the, absolutely, the, the, absolutely, the, the, the, the, they................ the, the, the, the, they, they, they. they. thi, thi, thi, thrown. thrown. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, absolutely, to, absolutely, sco, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely. But when you have your first one, it's like a couple's house that turns into a kid's house and then when the second one comes on, they start out numbering you. Yeah.

I've got an Instagram here this is quite funny about pronouncing things wrong. Hi guys, some of the podcast definitely helped you in lockdown as I've a seven-year-old and a one-year-year turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn they they they they they they they they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll their their try. their try. try. try try their to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their they'll they'll just turned them. This is how this is how backdated me are we've had to be Josh. This must have been said in September. I listened to Rob's elephant trunk story and thought I'd share ours. That was where my daughter said it, quite rude. Our youngest Ellis is a boy who loves cars and we are trying to teach him colors. So he thought best to combine the two to help his concentration. Now we know he's white car. He is definitely saying white car, but all anyone else hears at the top of his voice is, Wancar, Wanker, Wanker, as he points at the offending vehicle. We are hoping he gets his pronunciation through soon as a dread white car's going past. Especially with a window open in the summer. Wanker! What was that? Oh, nothing.

If you've got anything you want to get in touch, this is how? Email us, hello at lockdownparentin.co-d.uk, or tweet us at lockdown parents. Or Instagram, lockdown, underscore parenting. And you can also send the stuff, PO Box 7, 7, 748, London London E99DW. Right, Rob, who we got on today? We have the wonderful Sindhu V, a very funny comedian and I was like to Jonathan Rossiver the other week she was really funny on that as well and it was a great interview and she's very different

kind of parent isn't she to what we are saying. Very different, very different. Far more in isn't she? To what we are saying. Very different. Very different. Far more in control of the situation than I am. This is Sindhu V. Hello, Sindhu V. Hello, Josh. Cindy, what should I have set up at home? Okay, I've got three kids, two dogs, two now that we got a puppy in quarantine because,

why not? One husband and two turtles.... got a puppy in quarantine, because why not? One husband and two turtles. What a twist at the end. And how old are they? They are. So I'm gonna say this on the podcast and it's crazy. I, because I speak a lot about the children on stage, I have a habit of being vague about their genders and their ages ages. I just think if I get too specific it gets too real.

Okay. So I have two teenagers they're in the advanced years of teenage tom and I've got one who is quite far away from being a team. 40. Yeah. I always wanted a lot of children. Then I had two and I was like, God damn, this is hard. And so I just was like, holy shit. And I kind of was just thought that's enough, you know? And then when that wore off, I don't know why it wore off, but it did. I was like, oh my gosh, what about all the children I was going to have? And so I had another one. And I learned that three is what tips you right over the edge. Oh really?

And you use the will to live, let alone have other kids. So how many did you imagine you're going to have other? Oh, four. I wanted four. I wanted four. Yeah, I wanted four. Always did. Even when I was very young. I'm going. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to use. to use. And to use. And to use. And to use. And to use. And to use. And to use. And to use. And to use. And to use. And to use. And to use. And to use. And to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to live. And to use. And to use to use to use to use to use to live. And to use. And to use. And to use to use to live. And to live. And to live. And to live. And to live. And to live. And to live. And to live. And the will will use the will use the will use. And to live. And to live. And to live. And to live. And to live. And to use. And to use. And to live. and she would say, you will not even get married if you keep on behaving like you are behaving. The job that I had, which was investment banking, it's very incompatible with being the kind of mother, it turned out I wanted to be. I never thought I would want to be that kind of mom. I thought I would, you know, I always wanted to be a mom, but my boss had five children in banking and she had a stay-at-home husband and three nannies. So I thought, well I don't have a stay-at-home husband but if you can I'll just get a net, I'll just get nannies, you know what I mean? And what didn't, what

I had no expectation of was that I would have my kid and then that I would change so much because I had him and Iook my full maternity leave and I was desperate to get back to work because I really liked my job. But the moment I got to work, I didn't care about deals. I wasn't hungry anymore. I just wasn't. I guess. Well, a lot of my friends were.

They were. And I, it turned out that if you're not hungry, then being on a trading floor becomes a real mind-fuck. You have to have a certain attitude of like go, go, go, go, go, go, and all I could think about was, you know, my son is teething or, you know, I wonder what he's doing. And I just was like, I was not happy, and then they were very good to me. They changed my job. I was the first woman for whom they created a three-day week on the trading floor front office. But you know, I didn't grow up wanting to be in banking. See, I was doing something very different. I think that's a sign is that when you have a child at so many levels, you go back to your roots. Whether it's culturally or the family roots you come from, or whatever your ambitions, yeah, so it didn't work. So I quit. I did such crazy rock and roll shit. I made the firm do so many things. You know, I had to take my clients.

I used to cover the US dollar market, but I used to cover clients in Europe. And I had to take all my clients to New York one time and to see Freddie Mac and Fannie Mait, whatever, mortgage bonds, blah, blah. And I said, I'm not going without him. and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and, and, and, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I to, I'm, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to toed, toed, toed, toed, took, toed, toed, to c. to c. to c. to. to travel without my kid. I remember he was 11 months old and I told my boss, I said, I'm not going without him. And he was like, and he said to me, who do you think you are, Madonna? Like, you can't travel on the road with help and a kid. And so I was like, I don't care, I'm not going to go.

So they were so nice. the best trader there ever was? No, no, I wasn't. No, I wasn't. No, I wasn't. But what it was, I was by no means. I was not even a trader. I was in sales. But what it was was this. And I think this is a very important thing. It was a road trip. So I would have been gone, I was gone about two weeks. And the second thing was, it was an important road trip and my, and my, thapapapapap. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, by, by their, by, by, by their, by their, by their, by their, by, by, by, by their, by, by th. I was not, by, by, by, by, by, by, by th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was, by, by, by, I was th. I was, I was, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I was, by, by, by, by th. I was, by th. I was, by their, by their, by no, by no, by no, by no, by no, by no, by no, by no, by no, by no, by no, by no, by no, by no, by no, by no, by no, by no, by no, by the. I wasthink my boss, because he had several kids, I think he was, he had this idea that if we keep cutting women out when they talk about their kids, we're going to end up with shitty salespeople. Because often it's a good salesperson you have to let go. But I will say one thing, I will say that at that time, I think there was more openness to this idea in Europe that somehow you try and accommodate women and children then there was on Wall Street. Yeah. Because when I was in America it really

felt like I was doing something crazy. Yeah. You know where it's here people were like oh that's cool you know not like are you high that wasn't the vibe. It was it was a great trip. I guess Europeans especially like Spain in Italy are are way more family focused and in North America. Well, yeah, I think when it comes to work and women and finance, it's like pick a lane. You know, in Wall Street it's like pick a lane. And I think, I think the UK is second. And then after that is the rest of Europe.

And I think the UK has been trying to get it right. And I think th th th th th th th th th th th th th th think think think think thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, thi, thi, thi, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, thi, thr, thr. I'm, thi, the. I'm, thi, thi, thi, tooooooooomorrow, to, to, to, to, trying to get it right and I think they have got it. I mean, things are very, very different now than when I was there. But no, it was such a crazy trip. And I will say that mental health-wise, it was probably not the best thing to do. Fully focused. I never slept. Everyone was jet lagged. You know, the Indian nanny I took with me stopped speaking. I thought she had a breakdown. She just stopped speaking. I thought she'd had a psychotic break.

So then you started stand up when your daughters, when your children, the older ones were teenagers. Is that right? Yeah, two were in double figures and one was very young. And how did the kids react to that? Well, Josh, for the longest time, I was doing open mic in, you know, but fuck. They didn't know what I was doing. They were like, you're not really, well, anyway, I never read good night stories and all that because they don't be in India and I thought it was always so tedious. So that's not like they's not like they's not like they's not like th th like th like they's not like they's not like they's not like they's not like they's not like they's not like they's not like, they's not like, their they's their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. t. today. today. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. their. their. their. their. th. tedious. So that's not like they missed that. But what about bath time? No, bath time, no, they have a bath. What am I going to do? I mean, of course they're not that small, when they were small, I was in the bath and they want them to drown, but as soon as they could have a bath, I was like, they were like, they thrown. their thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thr, thr, thr, they were. they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, that. their. they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, when. When. When. When. When. When. When. When. When. When. When. When. When. When. When, when, when. When. When. When. When. When. When. When, when, when, when. When. When. they were, when. they were, when. they were, when. they were, when. they were, when. they were, when. they were, when, when, when, when they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, when, when. out and with a totally dry face and I'd be like,

who are you kidding? I was like how is this how is this possible? I said no mommy I did I said you did not you did come on dude come on and then by the time it was like really the only time your kids know is when they're friends or you're on YouTube or TV I mean otherwise how do they know? They don't and I think for me that was that was that was that was that was that was that was th that was th th that was th th th th that was th th th th th th th th th th. the the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only only only only only only only only only the only only the only only the only only to to toooo the only only only only only only only only the only only the only the only only only the only only only only the only the only the only the only the only their friends or you're on YouTube or TV. I mean otherwise how do they know? They don't. And I think for me that was probably, I think it was maybe when I did have I got news for you, which I did very early, maybe I don't know, you know, very early and it just happened. And I think my son was a, he said, he asked me, where you want to have I got news for you? And I said, yes, he said his science teacher had asked him. And he said, I said no to him. And I said, why?

And he's like, why would you be on TV? And I'll go. That is a real confidence booster. Yeah, but I think the other thing is, I for the kids, I was still always a full-on mom. I was still taking them to school, waking them up, going to see their football, packing their lunch. Who has the time in between telling them to stop beating each other up and get their shit together and get in the car to be like, oh by the way the way I'm very, I've always been quite demanding academically of the children. So by and large, they don't like to talk to me. Are you quite stern, mother, like quite strict?

I mean, I'm told I'm strict. Who by? Everybody in the house? What about other kids? Of their kids? Have there been things you don't like going on in your house and you've had to impose your strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict strict rules rules rules rules rules rules rules rules rules rules rules rules rules rules rules rules rules to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to to to to to on in your house and you've had to impose your stricter rules on other kids? I wouldn't do that to other people's kids in our home. If they come, they behave badly.

They're my guests, they can. You will see my kids looking at me in utter panic. Like, oh my God. And they look at me in like, they're like terrorized because they know what it means to me, but they've also understood. We have a phrase in Sanskrit, which is, a tithi deva, Bha, Bha, which is the guest comes as God. So you do never criticize your guests, you know what I mean, no matter what, but when they leave, I look at the kids and they're like, we know, we know, we got it. We saw it. But I think there's a very strong code with the children, you know, about what's done and what's not done. So when you say, because you obviously you

didn't do the bed, you don't do the bedtime stories. What are the other British, not parenting traditions but kind of parenting norms that you find kind of baffling like that or just like... I mean baffling, you know, I do know, I can see why you guys tell stories and it's nice. I just am like, I'm not fucking doing it. I just, it's not even like a bad baffling. I'm really afraid of the question. What other things are you not doing? I don't, what else do I not do? I don't really play with them. Okay.

Like I play, they're around me playing. Like now I play with them because I've taught all of them how to play rummy and three-card poker. That's fine. But I won't play like fucking, you know, Legos, man, no, no, no, no. I've been a kid. I did all this. But don't you find that nostalgia going back to those games and doing something together? Don't you get a bus from that? No, but I do other kid things with them. Like for example, you know, I've always had, I've always been a little,

I've always been a little bit cavalier with this bedtime business, you know. Oh yeah. Yeah, it's when they were very little then you have to because you need routine and rubber. But like say when they're four, five, six, seven, like when they've started school, I mean, before they go to nursery, I don't care when you sleep, when you fall asleep, I'll pick you up where you are and that's it enough. Thank you. But if we're going out and you're going to be sleepy and then misbehave, then we have like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they. they. they. they. they're, they're, they're, they're, they. they're, they. they're, they. they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, rules, these kids just have to adapt. I'm like, yeah, that's pretty much right. But every once in a while, you know, there'll be something we want to do, like, there'll be a TV show that we all want to watch and it's like past our bedtime, I'm like, screw the bedtime, let's watch. Or like, you know, if there's a movie that we really want to watch, and I don't have many rules around like dessert and ice cream and whatever, like this fine, it's in the fridge or we have this, eat it, you know, like just use some sense. So would you say you let the small things go but big things you come down on them quite hard? I think so. I mean, I, you see kids, the things that kids do which are interesting to both kids and me, I'm there. I'm there. Like I took my

children alone when they were four and two to Disneyland by myself. Oh my God. All the way to Los Angeles. From London? Well I went from London to Atlanta to attend my cousin's wedding, which was a great wedding by the way. And then from there I was like, I'm not going back to London. We're already here. So let's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their th. th. th. their th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. I th. th. th. I th. th. I th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the. the the the. the. the. the. the. to to to'm not going back to London. We're already here. So let's go to LA. And my husband was like, I can't do it. I'm like, that's fine. I got this. So there's those kinds of things, which I think a lot of adults are like, are you crazy? I'm like, no, it'll be fine. I'll be fine. Okay, like really. So when the first few Pixar movies came out, they used to be one every 18 months, like when my teens were young. I used to not want to go on the weekend

because everyone brought their kids and kids would talk and it would be like a kiddie movie event. And I'm like, I don't have fucking time for this. So I used to go on the first day that the movie came out, which was usually a Thursday or Friday, and I would go to the school, I did this with both of them, go to the school, tell the school there was a dental appointment or something, get the kid out of class,

and the middle of the day we would go to the movies. Oh, I bet your kids, I bet your kids loved it. them because you see kids will tell their friends and so I would just do it and I had to because both my kids have my husband's gene of being very honest they would look at me with their eyes like suspens I'm like remember the dentist and we would leave and I'm like dude we're going to movies and their heads would explode and I'd be like but here's a thing if you go and tell your friend tomorrow I'm gonna go to jail their their their their their their their their so so so so their you their you to go. to go. I'm to go. I'm to go and I'm to to to to to to to to their. I'm to to to their. I'm their. I'm their. their. I'm their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. I's their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. te. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell tell. tell. te. tell. tell. tell. tell th. th. the. the. their the. th. their their tomorrow, I'm going to go to jail. So they never told. They were like, oh, shit. And now they tell me that was so bad, like we were so scared. But you're generally hard on them academically. Does that not go against that? One day of missing school, you're going to not get a, you're not going

to get 10 on 10. What's the Fast and Furious ones, they're terrible. I find them so bad, and I grew up with Bollywood, right? So really, my standards are quite low. But anyway, I remember a couple of years ago, the last one came out, like, fast and furious, even more idiotic or whatever it was called. And my son, who was a, you know, who was a teenager at the time, it, it, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was to to to to to to to to th. th. It was th. It was th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their, their. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. the thi. their, their, their, their, the you know, who was a teenager at the time wanted to see it. It was coming out at like midnight at the view near us. And he wanted to see it and he didn't want to go alone, bababab, because then, you know, he'd have to. So he asked me, and I said, yeah, of course I'll go. the movie, because you want to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go. to go. to see. to see. to see. to see. to see. to see. to see it, to see it. to see it, to see it, to see it, to see it, to see it, to see it, to see it, to see it, to see it, to see it, to see it, to see it, to see it to see it to see it to see it to see it to see it to see it to see. to see. to see. to see. to see. to see. to see to see. to see. to see. to see. to see. the the the the the the the the the movie. the movie. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the woke up and I drove, I criticized the movie for the duration. I was like, what, now he's flying in a car? Fuck this, and my son was like, shh, shh.

But I went with him because I think those things with kids are fun and it's about the kids and you do those, but you don't have to fucking bath time, come on. I've got a question then on that. So you've got, you describe late teens, where do you stand on drinking, partying, relationships? What I've realized from this conversation is I can't call your view on, like, you know, with most people you go, I could probably call what Rob's view would be across and that it's quite consistent but you work on a very much a policy by policy basis I can't like 100% zero consistency across yeah there's nothing you're not Boy Johnson yeah wow

but mine is still more scientific than anything for us definitely and so that's a very good question because I'm obviously, you know, quite Indian in the sense of, I didn't grow up, you know, in a drinking culture. Of course I drink and my parents drink, but drinking culture by which I mean getting completely trollied and vomiting on the streets and this kind of thing, which is quite common here for teens. Yeah. So I had a choice. I could either have been. I could either have been. I could, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, because, because, th, because, because, because, because, because, th, because, because, because, because, because, because, th, th, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, their their th. th. thro, thro, thro, thro, thro, th. th. ed and vomiting on the streets and this kind of thing which is quite common here for teens. So I had a choice. I could either have been as stringent and probably lost my teenager in some way because he is a Western child. I don't care what you say. He's half Danish. He's been raised here. I'm quite a mix, both, you know, because I've lived here a long time and their their theterms of I'm doing stand-up and this, and these are not traditional Indian things, and he's not being raised in India.

So I could have stuck with my value system and said, oh, it's right, it's right. But I think I would have lost him, and I think for me, a central guiding principle with my children has always been that my children must always feel that where I am is home. No matter what they do and what shit hits the fan and what shit they do, they should know that they can come home. And to have that, to engender that feeling in your child, I think you have to, there has to be a sense in them that things could get ugly, but they'll always be okay. There's no judgment that would make them unwelcome. And I think shame is a very, very, very big part of this equation. And you have to somehow let your child know that there's no shame when they are in front

of your eyes. So if that is my guiding principle, what I had to do was I had to turn to my Danish husband and be like, what is with the fucking drinking and fucking? What's the plan? Because I don't know. Are you willing to accept whatever he said on that? Well, we're very good friends. And I didn't at once agree.

We had some back and forth, but I know that what I thought was, I can't trust myself on this because all of the signals I have are completely contrary to the world in which this child is raised. And also I trust my husband, because my husband is a very conscientious and responsible guy, and I thought, well, fine, it was very hard in the beginning, really hard, and my husband used to take my phone away because he'd be like he's gone out, calling, giving him 83 missed calls is not going to help. Oh yeah, no. And so he just would take my phone away and then also at that time I used to speak a lot to my mother who passed away in November,

so I don't speak to her now. I mean I do in my head but you know, I used to call her and I said, oh my god I can't't believe I didn't marry an Indian and he's let him out to go drinking and, ah, and my mother used to say to me, she used to always say, first of all, she used to say, you are very stupid. She started every sentence like, you are very stupid. My son-in-law is a great man. And then she used to say to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to say, to say, to say, don't try and teach him what you don't know. She used to ask me questions like, are you Danish? Are you British? Are you a boy? And you're like, no, no, no. She said, then why are you trying to teach him? Shut up. So I think I just let it go. And then when I saw that things were not going off the rails, I started to trust the process. Does, does, does, does, does, does, does, does, does, does, the process, th. th. th. th. the process, th. th. th. thr I, thr I, thr I, thr I, thr I, thr I, and thr I, and thrific. thrific. their, their, and you're like, and you're like, thrific. thrush. thrush. thrush. thr-a, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thr. And, thr. And, thr. And, thr. And, thr. And, throwne. And, throwne. And, thr-a. And, thr-a. And thr-a. And, thr be like if my daughter when she was a teenager and having a drink and it was a bit tipsy and was too scared to come home in case I

bolloped her and then she was just sat on the street or her mates waiting to be sober. You don't want, you know to be the parent that goes to the off- I was a bit nervous because you know I mean, let's be honest. I don't care what you what the world says. Kids are drinking younger and younger these days. You know and they're not 16 when they start drinking. Not no. I've got absolutely shit faces a 15 year old. It was self-served vodka orange. And I came home and I was sick at a front door and I was sick in my bed and then I pissed myself and I was like 15 that's insane. Well there you go as as for relationships I have always thought I mean of course deep down I want to arrange all their marriages don't I can't and I mean I you know I have people in mind my close my told the thrown I thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I the th. I th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I th. I th. I th. I th th th th thi. I thin. I thin. I thin. I thin. I thin. I thin. I thin. I thin. I thin. I'm thin. I'm thin. I'm thin. I'm thin. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thin. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the the the thi. I the th. I th. I the right age and I just somewhere deep down I think well that would be nice but then I say Sindhu shut up is never going to happen. I think all moms are like that though even like Western moms. My mom would always go oh she's nice because she knows the mom and dad and it would be easier for everyone involved if you just

got off with a girl around a corner. Yeah maybe not just get off, like Mary. That to me is like the goal. But you know, and I, but I've had people in my mind for my children since my children were four and five, but I don't say anything about it. I keep it to myself. What I have spoken to my children about is issues that, because when it comes to drinking thing I was less certain on this stuff, I'm not at all uncertain. I've spoken to them about being responsible consent. A consent has been a big thing in my mind for these kids. And so I've talked about being responsible, consent, and also try not to come home with someone I think is very dull. Because I just don't know how, like, I don't think I have it in me, you know. My husband doesn't say anything to them. He's like, I'm happy if you're happy, which is, what? On the subject of your husband, we do offer our guests a chance that if any gripe or issue with something their partner does with parenting, and I don't feel like they can ask them or tell them, you know, this is your opportunity to indulge, you to indul indul indul indul indul indul indul indul indul indul to indul to indul to indul to indul to indul to indul to indul to indul to indulge to indulge to indulge to indulge in to indulge in to indulge in to indulge in to indulge in to indulge in to indulge in the the opportunity to indulge in the opportunity the opportunity to indulge in to indulge in their their you really think there's anything I felt that I

haven't said to him face to face? I did think that would be the response. I just don't have anything like that. When was the last time you like really lost your shit with them? Oh God, I don't know. Like I let me think probably very recent. I mean I lose my shit on a regular business. Over the weekend I lost my temper because because you know what 18 plus 6 is not 22 it's not fucking 22 and we've been over it so many to how is 18 plus 6 20 22? 22. 22. The dogs were running away my husband was like just let it go. I got crazy. 18 plus six should not be 22. Come on. I mean, to be fair, I'm still working it out. Okay, first of all, I think what I have to also put in here is that those years of being at home with

the children, I was very on it. You know, I didn't just say, well, go ahead and please get A's and show them to me. I worked with them. I figured out what they knew how to do, what they didn't know how to do, you know. And disciplining, discipline in practice is a very important part of performance. And I think as a stand-up, especially, you know, you go out and you gue because that's what gets you good. So, discipline in practice academically is something that I think from a young age, they've, and I don't think I'm unusual, you ask any South Asian parent, I'm going to tell you this. You know, it's a big part of their day. It's like you have to do this, you have to come home from school and you play a little bit, you have to do studies.

So I think it's kind don't have that rule. So with, like for example, one of my kids is not very good in math, but that's fine because they're very good in history. So math, I know what the level is. The issue is, what are you bringing to the table today? Are you bringing your shitty work ethic for who? The world doesn't need that. You bring good work ethic and then if you end up with a B in math, it's fine, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi's thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, work ethic and then if you end up with a B in math it's fine because you got an A star in history because it shows that you're working hard that stuff is in the system in this house and that's very much from me and I also think if they say well but that doesn't make me happy I'm like and no one cares. To be fair I was never that great academically but I put all the effort in I could so as long as they try try try try they they they they they they they they they they they they th they th th they th they th th th th th th th th th th is th is th is to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. that's that's that's that's that's that's to that's could. So as long as they try the best, that's fine by medical. It's the effort and it's the work,

I think children should have a sense of responsibility of what the fuck they're doing here. And also, they have to have some sensibility for their parents. Like, what are you doing today that's doing for me? Hello? Sindhu, which I'm fascinated by, because you have an excellent use of the word fuck when you're really making a point. And what is your ruling on that? When you say what the fuck you're doing here, is that what you're saying to them?

Well, not when they're little. But now, you know, now I'll, now sometimes if the teenagers really get on my nerves or, you know, because they'll push you and they'll argue and they'll say things. You know, and they'll make comments that are intended to make me feel, to put me down, you know, sometimes I'll say something about my comedy or something. And I think that's fair. I mean, they're not being rude, that's fine. But I, so my mother swore a lot. And she swore in front of us, she came from a very feudal family in which swearing is sort of women swear behind closed doors.

So they don't swear in front of the male folk, but they swear in front of their kids. And she had it down to an art form. And she then, when she became a therapist and trained in America, returned from America and started saying things like, fuck your asshole. And we were like, what? She started, like, I don't think it's fuck your asshole. I think it's fuck you asshole, but okay. She started using English bad words like extensively, much to, it was hilarious.

It was hilarious. But she had that energy and I absorbed that without realizing. I never swore in front of my parents, but as soon as I left the house, I was like potty mouth. And then I joined a trading floor. I mean, swearing on the trading floor is normal, you know. What happened is when I had kids, I had to very consciously not swear in front of them. That didn't last. I started with shit and then it went from there.

And then I remember my firstborn was, I don't know, he was not yet 10 and something. He didn't really use it or maybe he used shit or something. And I turned to him and I said, listen to me, man. And I said, listen to me, man. It's something. Something, something. Something. Something. Something. Something. Something. to. Something. to. Something. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the their, their. their. their, their, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. That. the. That. the. That. the. the. the. That. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th something and I turned to him, I remember I pulled a car over and I turned to him and I said, listen to me man, it's a big deal if you swear because it's my fault, but I can't stop swearing so here's the deal. When you become a mother and he said, mommy that's never going to happen. I said, okay, a father, then you can swear. But if you swear now, I'll get into trouble, and I have no time for that. So don't you ever, ever swear. And he didn't. And when you have one kid and you set, here's the thing, because Josh, you only have one, right?

Yeah. Set the tone, because number two and three, they just fall into line, more or less. So yeah, so they don't swear. I think children's respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. th. th. th. th. their. th. their their their their the. I think children's respect for parents is not necessarily, that doesn't have to be expressed through in traditional ways. Yeah. You know, and you know if your child respects you. And also they have a certain ease around you, right? And that's very nice because they're not thinking, oh, I'm now not with my parents.

Of course he has a much better time with his friends. But he should th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thooooooooo. So, thooooo. theeeeei. thoooo. tho. the his friends, but he should feel, because that's when they talk to you, is when they have that sense of ease, you know? Siddeu, it's been amazing, thank you so much. This was so fun. It's been a pleasure to talk to you genuinely. I am absolutely fucing ofing the kind hour ago. I much prefer the two dimensional figure Cindy. Oh I'm sorry. Thank you so much. Thank you so much it was fun. Cindy V there I absolutely loved that. She's very scary. Yes thank you so much to the to the same.

Than. Cindy V there I absolutely love that. She's very scary. Yes, yes, but do you know what, you know like Jose Marino or someone like that, who's got that fear factor but also you go out and play for them. Do you know? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, because you were so spot on though, because the idea I had of Sindhu were like, because she's spoken about it in the past being like very academic driven and quite strict with the kids. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, thii-a, yes, yes, yes, yes, thi, thi, thi, and thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to, to, to, thi, to, to, to, to, yes, yes, yes, like, oh, because she's spoken about it in the past, being like very academic driven and quite strict with

the kids and they've got me grown up, so don't baby them and stuff like that. And then she's like, yeah, I just took him to Disneyland on my own. You never, you never, you never, I'd never imagined she'd have done that. But I think maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, I, I, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, I, I, I, I, I, and, and, I, I, I, and, and, I, I, I, and, I, and, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I've. And, I've. And, they. And, I've. they's, I've. they's, I've. they's, I've. they's, like, are you my dad or mom or are you just this lunatic who screams up me if I don't get good grades? Because if that's the case, what is the point in life? Do you know? I know you've got to get a good job and do well, but you've got to have the fun as well.

And I taken your kids out of move for a parent. That's so, I'd love my parents so much they did that. I'm going to get taken out of school for that. That's your absolute dream. Yeah. Because you think you're going to the dentist. You don't, it's not like, it's not even that you're, you think that it's just another day at school. You think it's are going to the dentist and you're like, see you later, lads them off to watch Monsters Inc. You come back and train tracks. Anyway, thank you for this to, bye.