Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S02 EP1: Bobby B and Stiffy McGee are back!!!

Episode Date: January 19, 2021

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' S02 EP1: Bobby B and Stiffy McGee are back!!!Guess who's back? Back again. LPH is back. Tell your friends....We took a short break in the new year but now we're back full time. Today's episode is a little taster and a catch-up. From next week we'll be back every Tuesday and Friday as before. This lockdown isn't going anywhere and neither are we. Spread the word people. Rob and Josh. xxWe're so proud and honoured to announce we have reached 10 MILLION DOWNLOADS!!!!And to say thank you and help those in need after what has been a tough year for so many, we've started a Just Giving page for the Trussell Trust which you can find here;https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/lockdownparentingWe've kicked things off with a donation and if anybody is in a position to help this fantastic cause then please do. No pressure. But they do great work for a brilliant cause so if you can spare even a little please do. https://www.trusselltrust.orgThanks and see you soon.Josh, Rob (and producer Michael) xx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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and member terms apply hello I'm Josh Whitakam welcome to lock down welcome to lockdown the show in which Rob and I to be a parent during lockdown which I would say can be a little tricky. So in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation. And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest none of us know what we're doing. Hello and welcome to Series 2 of lockdown parenting hell with

Can you say Rob Beckett? Can you say Josh Widdicum? Yes. Whittakit? Very good. Very good. Very good. Very good. You get very good for that. I mean, well done. Well, well done. Well, that. Well, that. Well, tha. Well, tha. Well, tha. Well, tha. tha. tha. to to. to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the th. tha. to say, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to tha. to to. to. tha. to. to. tha. tha. to. the the the to. the to. to. the to. to. to. You're getting very good for that. I mean, well done, I reckon you could give him. Very good. So that's a lot of praise.

Yeah. Because he didn't say your name. No. He's a year and a half, so I'd say that's about, I'd say that's part of the course. It would be very good if he said your name at year and a half. Yeah, oh yeah. I mean if anything, if anything, if anything, if anything, if anything, if anything, if anything, if anything, if anything, if anything, if anything, if anything, if anything, if anything, if anything, if anything, if anything, if anything, if anything, trying, trying, trying, trying, trying, trying, trying, if anything, trying, trying, try th. th. try, try, try, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very,, trying to get him to do the names for the podcast is overly ambitious. I think a year and a half is the youngest person we've ever had opening the show. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I'm sorry, you've guilted me into this. Well, who was it? Well, I would say very good. Come on, Brian, Josh. Thank th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. Yeah, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the year. Yeah, the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Robin Josh, thanks for doing a podcast me and my husband always listen to it together and love it. Absolutely fascinated in how I never listened to a podcast with anyone else. Do you? No, well once me and Lou tried

to on honeymoon and it was like one them serial ones where it's like... sexy. Yeah I know it's a bit of true crime on the beach and a bit of a... A bit of real crime in the bedroom? Yeah. Yeah. And I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I th. I th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm a th. th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a the the the the the the the the the th. It's a the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the th. the the th. the th. bit of real crime in the bedroom. Yeah. I bet it didn't work up. My mom and dad listened to this in bed together, which I don't know I feel about. Do they do other stuff? No, I don't, I don't, I don't, no, not anymore. It's just missionary. They're old. It's 76, wait. He's due for a vaccine, give me a chance. Do they, are they just staring at everything I would say, that sounds loaded?

Do you know what I mean? If they're listening to a podcast, are they just lying there staring, listening? Or are they? I think listening to a podcast when you go to bed's a little bit of a backhanded compliment because we all know you save the A-list podcast for your walk, okay? And then secondly, yeah that's when you're properly focusing on it or a drive to work or something like or your train journey. The bedtime podcast, we all know what it is. It's you're interested but not in Charlie Brooke told me this because he struggles with getting to sleep. He said what you need is something you're interested about

but not really interested about. And then you fall asleep slowly so it's a bit of a buffeting commel. Oh, mate, I was out like, I had a nap yesterday and yeah, I had a nap listening to John and Ellis and I was out like a fucking light. It was like. Oh wow, you're really, you're starting the new series really throwing shade Josh. I like this. No, I mean, I mean, and you, and you you, and you you, and they they they they they they they they they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and th. th. And th. th. th. th. th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, I, I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they're, they're, they're, they're, th. And, tha. And, tha. And, tha. And, th. And, th. And, tha. And, tha. th. th, Josh. I like this thing. No, no, I mean that as a, I mean, you know, they know I'm a big fan, but, um, I'm yeah, but on the back of us saying you saved the least interesting ones for bedtime. Oh, come on. Yeah, let's be honest. Josh, you've changed. You used to shut down when I went on people. to you. you. You used. You used. You used. You used. You used. You used. You used. You used. You used. You used. You used. You used. You used. You used. You used. You used. You used. You used. You used. You used. You used. You used. You used. You used the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they know. They know. They know. They know. They know, they know, they know, they know, they know, they know, they know, they know, they know, they know, they know, they know, they know, they know, they're I'm saying that I fell asleep listening to John and Alice. What an opening! What an opening! I'm welcome back people. I literally woke up as their podcast was finishing. It was phenomenal. Like, I slept for the full podcast.

I sort of think, do you retain any information subconsciously? Is this a fast-track way to like, make the Matrix be real? If I listen to a Kung Fu podcast? Do, do, do, do, do, do, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. Wooo. Wo. Wo. Wo. Lek, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, thi, thi, I'm their, real. If I listen to a Kung Fu podcast, do you reckon I'd know a bit more about Kung Fu at the end, even if I was asleep? Yeah, I don't know how big the Kung Fu podcast market is. But, um... Yeah, I don't know, I'll have a look, I'll see what's on there. Keep going, I'll find out what kind of options I've got. It happens in friends, doesn't and is that based on Chanda, where it's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, don't, don't, I don't know, I don't, don't, don't, don't, I don't, don't, where like Chanda listens to, it's like, learn French. So it is a thing, isn't it? Yes, I want Chanda, yeah, Chanda, Chandra, is it true smoking? He's listening. Yeah, and it was listening to like, you're an impowerful woman, powerful woman types of.

Oh, mate, there, just because he's Asian. Is that what, is that how Apple works at podcast? I, I'm not, I'm not offering any opinions on Nigel Lung. But. I think they spoke about Kung Fu and episode. Let's not get bogged down by that. Yeah. Anyway, so so podcast. What was the tha? I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. thi. that. th. th. the th. th. th. the the the th. th. th. Is th. Is th is th is th is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. the tho. the tho. the tho. tho. tho. Is th. Is th. Is th. th. th. Yeah. Anyway, so, what we talked about? You had a nap. What was the nap? Oh, well, so I did last leg on Friday night for the first time back. First time I had a drink this year actually. Well, I was actually asked to do the last leg this week. And I just lead into why I couldn't do it. And I also had to pull out of Graham Norton. Yeah, you're just dropping you. You're just the the the the the the the the last. I the the the last. I the the the the last. I th. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, sorry, sorry. No, no, no, I'm joking. I've got nothing to say about my nap. Oh, no, no, you just, you was a loud one because you was tired from the extra half an hour work you did. Oh, no, no, no. Well, what happened was then Rose had the throwne, like, basically, th. thathe. thathe. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. to, to, to, I was, no, no, no. No. No. to to to to to to to say, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. th. No. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. to. th. to. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th20, let's be honest. Oh, so you was up with the baby, baby, a three-year-old.

Yeah, well, that's a shame because we could have done it together. But I've had to, listen, we're having a nightmare, Josh, right? I reckon lockdown. I reckon lockdown. It's the worst one. There's no summer. There's no summer, there's no heat. There. There's. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. the there. there. there. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that that that the that the the that the that. You know what? The sun is very underrated. It is. Every day it turns up. You don't even notice.

Do you know what I mean? Like every day, like the sun knocks up. Where this bloody country doesn't rob? I know, like half an hour a day. But their toe ignorance. But our ignorance was bliss in lockdown. Let's face it. We didn't have to do any homeschooling, but we're having to do that now, which actually in its defense, it does give you a bit of a structure to the day. Yeah. It does give you something to do. I just think really, you've just got to not let yourself get overwhelmed by it slightly. And I'm talking from a five-year-old, it doesn't really matter. It must be difficult if you've got someone doing a to, Gucrcuncunc. G G G G G G C C C C C C C C. G C. G C. G C. G C. G C. G C. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's, to. I's, to. to do to do to do to do to do to do their sc. their sc. to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to to their to to to to their their their their their their their sa. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It. It's. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to.? Well, phonics, we had to teach

them about a car, they had to draw a car and label it, which I just basically let a drive the car up and down the drive for a bit. Yeah, nice. What do you mean draw a car and label it like steering wheel, wheels, that kind of've done? Are they peed with Joe Wicks? I think Joe Wicks should put in an invoice to the Department of Education. It's absolutely outright. Did you just say do Joe Wicks? Yeah, do Joe weeks for half an hour.

But anyway, the five-year-old luncheon, so got into this but the, look, this is why it's worse, lockdown free, okay? Absolute bombshell dropped on the beckets. Everyone's okay, but Lou is on new medication and is now officially shielding. Oh my God. Yes. Oh my word. I know, so what does she mean in reality? I know it's one so that means she can't go anywhere. It means quite in the fucking loft until everyone's had a vaccine essentially. Oh my God. And does she mean, does she get a vaccine early doors because she's shielding? Right, so yes, it's been a stressful week. We found out a Monday that she's got to be shielded. We spoke to a few people and she's extremely clinically vulnerable, right? Which is a horrific thing to find out your eyes.

It's got so, you just wanted the emotionally vulnerable. That's what you were left in camera. I just wanted, you know, I just wanted, you know, motion vulnerable and sexually liberated. That's what I wanted from the GP. But unfortunately, it was clinically extremely vulnerable. So it's fine though, she's fine. She's just on this new bed of cage. Which basically means if she gets it, it's a nightmare, basically. So yeah, what it means thi that, it's th th th that that that that that that that that that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that that that, that's what I that, the th. th. that's what I that's what I that's what I that's what I that's what I that's what I that's what I that's what I I that's what I that's what I I that's what I I that's what I I that's what I I that's what I that's what I that's that's that's that's that's that's that. It's they. It's they. they. they. they. that. that. they. that. that that the that the that the that the that that the that that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm the really go anywhere and neither can I or the girls. So we've had to pull the youngest out of nursery and I was a bit unsure about going to nursery anyway. It feels like an absolute breeding ground but anyway that's the side. So anyway, she's out of nursery.

So, theyrowns, so you're the youngest is at home from nursery? Oh yeah, every day. Until Lou gets a vaccine. Yes, and we're not really supposed to send her back to school until Lou gets a vaccine, but I think she might be in category four, which means that she's due it by the middle of Feb. But then you've still got to leave it like 20 days or something and then you're supposed to get your second one. But I think as the cases drop that it's less risk and all that but it means I can't really work properly apart from this so I think so I couldn't do last leg and then I

couldn't do Grand Norton so I think you're Grand Norton which is a shame so now I'm basically working out because I've still I've got too much work on to be honest because of Pando but I'm supposed to be filming Robin Rommish right we've done four episodes you've got two to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the the the th so the to th so the th so the th so tho tho tho tho tho tho tho their tho tho th. th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. I'm th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm theean. I'm thii. I'm theean. I'm just just just just just just just. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm the. I'm supposed to be filming Rob and Romish, right? We've done four episodes, you've got two more episodes to go. So essentially the plan is I might, like Margaret Fatcher, have to live in a hotel. Wow. You might have to live in a hotel. Yeah, for like a couple. Yeah.

So basically what will happen is I'll go and do the filming and then I'll just go back to the hotel rather and home. So I'm not going for Rob. But I don't know where I am yet. It could be, I don't know what the plan is. They're working on it now. So I could be doing it. So I'm working, if you're working, the hotel for work.

Yes. So I'm working, yeah, if you're the the the the the I have to wait five to seven days. Oh my God. Yep, to get a test, then I know I'm going home about it. So in those five to seven days would you just stay in your hotel room? Yeah. Bloody out. But I'm already, like, because at the moment, we can't go shops or anything like that, we just got out for a walk, soobey. to thi, I I, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we're, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I'm, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th. th. th. th. th. th. tha, tha, tha, tha. tha. ta. ta. ta. ta. th. th. tha. th. th. tha, I'm, I'm, I'm we're all doing everything in so no one's really been anywhere we took the kettles from what yesterday and it was so muddy and I don't know about you but I feel quite sort of I don't have any emotions like any feelings anymore because it's so ground dog day.

I nearly just jumped full face into a puddle. Just feel just a feel something Josh. Just feel something just you're a different feeling like everything so comfortable You're just in your house, you're in soft clothes. I just want to feel alive, Josh. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Oh wow. So it's been a bit of a dramatic week for the old show. Oh my word.

So you're going to be doing a parenting podcast while basically you're living alone in a hotel like some kind of playboy figure. Yeah, a who's just lying about it going, yeah, tough day with the kids again today, even though I'm just like, got a cigar. Living on room service. Oh, but, no, we're not on that stage yet. But so that's where my head sat. And when would this happen?

Do we know? Beginning of Feb. But theyme. beginning of Feb next couple of weeks. We're due to start filming beginning of Feb but they're looking into moving it and then we're also trying to find out with Luke and have a vaccine and stuff like that. It's an absolute nightmare Josh and then... that's unbelievable. And we've had the kids at home. I've got I've invented some good lockdown things we can talk about though to keep kids busy. Yeah but the bit about yeah but that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's to to to to keep to keep to keep to keep to to to to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep their their their their their they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. that's they. they. they. that's they. they. they. they. they. they. they. that's. that's. that's. that's absolute that's that lot? This is the cat up. It wasn't great but um better than you. Oh yeah, I was feeling quite cocky you always in many ways I should have led this conversation, but it's too late now. Go on.

Do you know what after this we're going to the park for the first time in 10 days? Oh yeah, you had another isolation did you? No, their their their their their their is their is is is is is isolation in their is isolation in their is isolation in their is in isolation in isolation in isolation in the bag. So the nursery, her carer, or one of the carers got it. Lunch cover as well. So close. Not even full-time, lunch cover, mate. You want to get out to the suburbs, mate. It's not, it's fine here. If we're kissing each other in the street. I'm starting to think, do you know what? I think this nursery is going to be pretty much immune by the end of the month, the way things are going. They've had every strain. Back to school signals a fresh start for students. New classmates, new teachers, new lessons. Change is in the air.

But one thing hasn't changed. The forward government still isn't investing in public schools. Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the supports they need. They can't wait another year. If the forward the forward the forward the forward the forward the forward the forward the forward the forward the forward the forward the forward the forward the forward the forward their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their 't getting the supports they need. They can't wait another year. If the Ford government won't change, it's time to change the government. Our kids are counting on us. Join us at Building Better Schools. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario.

What does Possible sound like for your business? It's having to spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with business platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and Conditions apply. Visit MX.C.A. slash business platinum. So she's been off, so she was off from a week ago on Friday. Uh, so or whatever it was. I can't remember, it feels like, what, is that all it was? All that was a fucking lifetime. Oh, I had a howler as well, I ordered, you know, like restaurant, do boxes, right?

So I went on time out and it said, a few London boxes that you can get sent you out and you sort of like try and make it like a date night. We're trying to do that on a Saturday. Yeah. Patty and bun by the way is incredible. I did their one, really nice burgers. I think they do veggie and vegan ones. Anyway, I ordered this Mexican place. It's quite quite lumpy, quite expensive. But you've got lo and we got lothe and I than the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I their. I their. I thought. I thought. I thought. I thought. I thought. I thought. I th. I th. I ordered. I ordered. I ordered. I ordered th. I ordered th. I ordered. I ordered. I ordered. I ordered. I ordered. I ordered. I ordered th. I ordered th. I ordered th. I ordered th. I ordered th. I ordered th. I ordered th. I ordered th. I ordered th. I ordered th. I ordered th. I ordered their. I ordered their. I ordered their. I ordered it their. I ordered it. I ordered. I ordered. I ordered. I ordered. I ordered. I ordered. I ordered. I ordered. I ordered. I ordered. I ordered. I ordered. I ordered. I ordered. I ordered it's ordered it's ordered it's ordered. I ordered. I ordered it's ordered. I ordered. I ordered. I ordered it's ordered. I ordered. I ordered it's ordered. I ordered it's ordered. I ordered it's ordered it's ordered. I ordered it's ordered it's about 60 quid, right? Come through and it was like, oh, yeah, thank you. I hope you enjoy the best vegan Mexican going. I was like, you what? And it was one of them vegan restaurants. It doesn't say what it's made of.

It just at the top it says vegan Mexican. But if you miss that, it's just like, oh, beef brisket, no, it's that it ain't it ain't, it ain't, it ain't, it ain't, it's that, it's that, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's that, it's that, it's that, it's that, it's that, it's that, it's just, it's that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, it, it, it, it, it, it, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's, th. It's, th. It, th. It, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. I, th. I, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, tha, tha, tha, tha, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, tofu. Don't lie, just tell me what it is. It's not... I know that's your interpretation of it, but it isn't it, is it? That can't be allowed, Josh. Why do they do that on menu? Just tell me what it fucking is! So did you eat it? It's coming in two weeks? I was coming in two weeks? Yeah, I knowket what's the process maybe it is a two weeks long? I can't believe you're planning dinner in two weeks time. There's nothing else to fucking plan Josh what else I'm doing in two weeks time sitting in me house eating something? We have a takeaway Saturday night and we order it 30 minutes before it arrives from, rather than two weeks. This is a restaurant box, you have to cook yourself and I'm bored of my local takeaways. Okay? Right, yeah, yeah. They got to the delivery options. No,

but basically we found out that Lou had to shield the day all our shopping run out and I was going to the shops, we've had nothing, we've lived off takeaways for a week. Oh, fuck. Look, Lou got a deliveroo from the cost cutter of Maltese's and bread! Yeah, we've done that. We've done the deliverer from the co-op. It's a depressing when they turn up and you just feel. You feel embarrassed. The worst I've done is I got absolutely battered on whisking diet coke and I run out of dite coke. So he just bought me like six cans of Diet Coke. That's a bad one. Oh my God, that is a low moment, Rob. But that's when he was delivering that, I imagine he didn't think this guy who answers the door's going to be hammered. He thought this is going to be a kind of 40-year-old mum of two divorcee who's watching away. That's what I am in my mind. Oh dear.

I think the pressure must be off though for a driver if it's a cold drink. Yeah. I mean, you're delivering something hot. I think you're under pressure to get it there warm and hot. I told you my deliverer idea. No, go on. So I think you should be able to pay an extra fiver okay to increase the radius of restaurants so you could pay to for an extra two miles of restaurants oh oh you know what I

wouldn't as soon as you said an extra fiver because we're already playing delivery fee and it's yeah yeah I thought there's no way what Josh is gonna suggest I'll go for an extra five for a mile but two mile I'd have taken a five for a mile it could be five a mile and so you could do as many extra miles as you want. You sign a waiver that you accept it's going to be a little colder than you would expect normally, but you're given, I'm four and a half miles from Central London, extra 20 quid, 20 quid. You can have anything in to have have a 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, have have have have have a thaa, tha, tha, have a tha, have a tha, tha, th, have a th, have a thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, for an extra th, for an extra thi, for an extra tho, for an extra $, for an extra $, for an extra tho, for an extra, for an extra, th, th, th, for an extra, th, for an extra, th, th, th, for an extra, th, th, for an extra, th, th, for a th, for a th, for a th, for a th, for a th, for a th, for a th, for a th, for an extra, for a thi, for an extra, thi, thi, for an extra $, for an extra $, for an extra $, for an extra $, for an extra $, for an extra $, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20oh. You can have any, yeah, extra free grand.

You could probably get something from Madrid. Get some tap at. It's a good idea though, isn't it? I'm into that. The extra mile. Wow, what the big of it, oh, now I'm just doing. After this, I'm going to start putting in a postcode an extra mile from from my house. Do you do th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho to tho tho to to tho to to to to tho to to to tho to have tho to to to to to to to have to have to have to have to have to have to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tod. I today. today, today, today, today, today, today, today, to today, today, to today, today, tod an extra mile from my house just to see what could happen. Do you do that when you're moving? Like with with them when we moved house, that was one of the first things we did was put in the new postcode into a Delivero. I like mourn the things I no longer get

on Delivero since I moved like I mourn the death of a relative. What have you lost in your move? Because you're still in move? What the the the their. their. What their. What to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. their. to their. their. to their. to their. their. their. th. th. their, th. I. I th. I th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm th. I'm, th. I'm, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, the the the the the the the the th. I, th. I, th. I, the th. I, th. I'm the the th. I'm the the th. I'm the the the the the the. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the thooooome. I'm, East, so many years ago, yeah, but there was a place called gum powder, which was just like a Ponce Indian, you know, like a, like a dishroom. You sound like you're being racist about a person there. Sorry, no, no, no. Some Ponce Indian. Oh, whoa, whoa. Calm down Calm down, just Ponzi Indian restaurant. Yeah, that's high. I think you really, with that word, you really have to say...

Yeah, sorry, yeah. I hope the ed is kind to me in that situation. Yeah, exactly, yeah. But you miss it, you miss it. Yeah, I miss it, but, uh, yeah, there we go. You've got to dust yourself off and move on so the shielding not the shielding the 10 days off nursery yeah and then so couple of days in she got a cough and we're like oh here we bloody go oh no oh my god you've been at

that test center so nearby one so we went to the test center nearby one the tests and a nearby one twice twice the the the the th i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i th i th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the that th the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the is the is the is the is the to to te te te te teeeeea. teeeeeeeeee te te the the the the the one. How many have you been? Free tart three for? No, twice, twice, twice. And the private one at home, three. The private one at home, yeah, that was an annoy. The panic order, like my vegan Mexican. Exactly, the absolute panic order. The one about, do I tell got away with this here, I'm gonna be able to, anyway. I mean, has the doctor ever been on time? Have you ever, have you ever got to the doctors, the GP's?

And they went, oh, he's actually ready for you. Oh, really? Oh, okay. Do you know what, Rob? You say that? to get my flu jab, tho, tho, tho, tho, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the to, to.. tto. ttoo. ttoo. ttoo. ttoo. ttoo. ttoo. ttoo. too. the the to. the the the the t. t. t I'm not vulnerable enough. I know I'm pretty far off and my ass was not nearly good enough to get me up the league table. Good enough. Yeah. Very good. You had your flu jab. And because of the COVID restrictions, they don't let you in. I arrived at 4, walked straight in. I reckon I was in and out of the doctor's surgery in under 3 minutes. Wow. Good. I was very tempted to to take a selfie of having the flu jab. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the COVID. I. I. the COVID. I. the COVID. I. I. I. the COVID. the COVID. I. I. I. to. to. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. I. So. I. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. the. to. the. to. the. to. the. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Good work. I was very tempted to take a selfie of having the flu jab and put it on Instagram

as I was having the COVID vaccine. Oh yeah, you should have done that and then just done a picture and gone, yeah, lovely. Only five grand uptown got myself the vaccine. Just a tea, what happened? Can you imagine? Straight on the daily mail sidebar. Yeah, exactly. Good to know that people off the TV are key workers now. Get it in me.

I actually found out the first time I realized that I was a bit famous was at the Doctors Josh because at my doctors, when it's your turn, a robot voice says, Rob, Beckett, and then it comes up a massive LED screen thing like that, and I did it. Then someone looked around and I was like, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, massive like LED screen thing like that and I did it and then someone looked around and I was like, huh? And I didn't realize that was after the jungle, it's really weird experience. Have I told you about when I thought I had hemorrhoids? No, go on. Was that Ponzi Indian? And I phoned up the doctors and you know, let's say they do that thing now, our doctors where before you get an appointment,

they'll phone you back and they'll go through your symptoms with you to see whether it's worth you coming in. Yep. And she may be describe all the symptoms, which obviously, I'm not comfortable at the best of time. So it was an awkward conversation. Yeah, it's just like, it's like it's like, it's like, it's like, like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, a..... Like, a. Like, a. It. It. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. Like painful and itchy. Anyway it was it was fine. All the time? No. No, just no. Sorry, this is the same conversation I had with her, Rob. I thought hemorrhoids and piles is when you basically had a tiny little ball bag that come out your bum. Yeah, but I didn't

have that in the end. Oh right, okay fair enough. Sorry. What did you have? Yeah some kind of infection that was treatable with a over-the-counter cream. Oh, right. What did you use? Um, do you know what? I think it was. Just a bit of antiseptic? That bit, a bit of suit. I think something was behind the court or something. I can't remember the name of it.

We don't have to get bogged down by your thirty. I highly recommend it. It was within days. I was in a much better state. And it was just a crack or was it the actual hole? It was, do you know what, I would describe it as the region. Anyway, we had this conversation, similar to this in fact. Yeah. Anyway, I got to the end of the conversation, all very awkward. Yeah. And I actually went, um, are you the comedian Josh Ridicum? Oh no, on the phone? On the phone? Oh God. And I was like, this, I mean, that is unprofessional, isn't it? Yeah, not now.

Come on, mate. Anyway, neither here nor there. So we drive to the test center. Yes. So the first time we did it, the first time we did it, I th did it, I th did it, I th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha, was, was, was, was, th. th. tha, was, was, th. tha, was, tha, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, Itime we did it, there was all three of us, because all three of us were unwell at Christmas. Yeah, that was Tilbury, wasn't it? Was it Tilbury? Yeah, that was Tilbury. So this time it was just four miles away, Hackney. So we drive in, but it was just my daughter,

which was an error in a way. Obviously, you don't want to do a to do. But it made it a lot more difficult that we weren't doing it as well. Oh yes, of course. And you can't really waste a COVID test in a pandemic just to keep your daughter happy. They should give some fake tests out shouldn't they? Yes. I'll just take a little cotton bud yourself. That's a great thing. Yeah, I do that next time. Yeah, because it all being driven somewhere and being forced to do a test when you're like three and don't really understand what going on. It does feel like you've been kidnapped. Yeah, exactly. Particularly because we've took her in the boot, which was probably missed out.

Oh, by the way, my boot is, I put a load of stuff in the boot for the day before lockdown. Yeah. Still there. I reckon I'm going to have my to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have my to have my to have my to have my to have my to have my to have my to have my to have my to have my to have my to have my to have my to have my to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go going. to go going. to go going. to gooomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomom. to go going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going to go going to go going to have my to have my to have my to have my to have my to have my to have my to have my to have my car to have my car to have my car to have my car toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo o'. tooomorrow. to next three months. Oh did I tell you I went for a car wash, Rob? No, no you didn't tell me that huge news, but please fill me in. This is how bad you're gonna like this? You are buzzing about this and it's a car wash. He charged me an extra three quid because the car was so dirty. No, he charged me extra because the interior of the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the car was the car was the car was the car was the car was the car was the car was so the car was so the car was the car was the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi is thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi t. t. t. t. t. t. tttttttttttttttttttttt. t. thi. me extra because the interior of the car was so dirty. Oh, I mean, what I accept, if it is much more dirty, there needs to be a levy, but three quid seems like it's a bit of a nominal amount.

Do you mean? Would you have not done it if you didn't give him the extra three quid then? Well, it was two late because it was going on and then he kind of a thiiiiiiiiiii..... thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I's kind thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. T. thi. thi. Thea. Thea. Thea. Thea. Thea. Thea. Thea. It is is th. It is thi. It is thi. It is thi. It is much. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's the. It's theea. thea. thea. thea. thea. It's thea. It's thea. It's thea. It's thea. It's thi. It extra three quid. Oh, so what's your thought process there? Was it really bad or do you think I'll go somewhere else next time? I don't know because I don't know what how other people's cars, how dirty that? How dirty is your car when you're getting? Yeah, so I try, what I'll do is I t don't know, I'll shake the mat a bit and put it back in. But this is how I operate and how I would operate if I was that guy. If I was in, I'd have gone, that's TV's Josh Ridicub there.

He might not know who you were, but even if you didn't know you were, you're a bloke, the car,, I would have gone right, I'll do this this time and see if he tips me. And if you don't tip me, I'll charge him extra next time. Yeah, well also I then turned out, it was a disaster all rancor. It was a disaster all. Because I had to go to a cash point. Oh no. Also because it was 18 quid. It was end up being 20 quid He asked for the three. He asked for the three, I would have, I would have, out of principal, waited for that two quid back. Well, I should of, shouldn't I? But there we go. Anyway, we go to the test site. It's a fucking nightmare. So we failed twice. What do you mean, failed? She grabbed the thing. Oh, she ruined. Okay. Now you'll be glad to know obviously I know where my hassles. to be ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha so it's quite easy to call the guy over this time. Yeah. But the second time she grabbed it, Rose just went, fuck!

At last... Which I would say isn't helpful in anyway. It wasn't what I'd describe as game face. Oh, oh, like, do you know what's bad is like these, all these awful, like, stressful things that are happening to us in lockdown? They think the ones are really processing it all, right? But it's the kind of stuff where, like, that, if that happens to you, that would have been an anecdote that you, that would have told a their their their their their their their their their the and that's how everyone's every day is just tracked in a car trying to ram a cotton bud up their kids now. She just sat in the sit when she shouted it she was like staring straight ahead in the seat like just kind of

home this kind of existential crisis. So were you trying to do it then? I was doing it and she was restraining? So I was doing the cotton button and she was restraining. So you had to go put the hazards on? Hazards on? Third test. Did it third time. Yeah. Negative. So she's fine. So she's to go out. Is it immediate? Was it one of the immediate ones? No, no. It's the next day. It was a it was or I think that was Sunday and I think we got it first thing Tuesday morning. Oh it's not too bad. No not bad. And you didn't have it so all good. All good and so then just been killing time this week it's just been you know she can't go out but she's not really the best thing about it is she's not a child that's that into going out. That is helpful. I would say sometimes you know if you've got more kids. But this morning I made made th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's that's that's th. th. th. that's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the the th. It's the th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's just just just just just just the. It's just thee. It's just theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I's just just the. It's, right, like if having two, but this morning I made me think of you where the three-year-old came in

and then the old one was still asleep, it's like six or something, and I was like, just go and play with your toys, she went, I don't want to, I don't want to, I feel alone. And we'll talk to you, but talk, but to, but, but, but, but, but, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, th, th, they, they, th. And, they, th. And, they, th. And, tho, tho, they, tho, tho, tho, tho, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thrown. And, thr, thrown, thr, thrown, thr, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thr, th one and they're saying that you can't just go go go and play your sister no it is a quite intense I imagine just having the one where you feel you you you are basically her companion the whole time she's also she's gone off TV again oh no the thing is I think you and Rose you're a little bit more like the rose is a bit more middle class than you isn't she but then you're a bit more like a little the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the to to to the to to the to the to to to to to the to to to the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the to. the to. the th. the. the. the. the. the. the more like... I love the TV class. You know me. I know you do, but you're a little bit more higher up the working class, into middle classes of me, so that like my TV gene is so strong in my kids that they will gobble it up forever. Do you know what?

I thought on Sunday, so last Sunday when she was ill, the day we went for the test, and she was obviously just ill........... And they. And, thiiiiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, told, told, told, told, told, told, too, too, too, too, too, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to me, thi, thi, thi, to me, thi, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, went for the test and she was obviously just ill. Yeah. She basically watched TV all day because she was unwell. Yeah, fine. And I thought this is unacceptable and unsustainable over a full week if this is what her week at home is going to be. Yeah. And actually, careful what you wish for because she has not watched TV since. It's genuinely, I think it might be when she's locked down actually, because it happened last time as well. I think because she's not going out and about, she's so full of energy she doesn't want to watch TV. I agree.

So this is what I've been doing with mine, right? What you do. Yeah, put my treadmill, just time to it. they cry, but they, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, they're, they're, they're getting, they're they're they're, they're they're they're they're they're they're getting, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th and tho, th and thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, that, that, that, threaten, that, that-a. It's not. It's not. It's notaa. theaa. It's notea. It's not. threaten, that-a put my tread all just time to it they cry but they you know they're getting fit aren't they now so what I do is my strategy is if they're too annoying at home aren't they right if they don't go out all day so I try and take them out in the I don't wait for good weather I will go out in the bad weather so if it's as they're as as the the the the they're as they're as they're as they're as they're as they're as they're as they're as they're as they're as they're as they're as they're as the they're as they're as they're as the they're as they're as they're they're they're they're their their they're they're they're they're they're they're their they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the the their their their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the th the tho the the that their their them somewhere muddy, get them as cold and as sad and as tired as you can. And then when they come in, all they want to do is snuggle up and watch the tele, and just chill because they appreciate being indoors.

Well, I think that's what I'm about to head towards with her. Have you got a full puddledles suit? suit so she's, have I told you that she's, I'd say a big issue, she's the fustiest person about clothes I've ever met. It's genuinely insane. Weird, like she doesn't like wearing certain stuff? She hates wearing a coat. Like, even in the ice cold she would want to take a coat off. Did she like a puddle suit? So we've got her this, we let her choose it, she likes it. Rose took her out just before lockdown to the park and apparently I'm about to test it because we're about to go to the big slides today. Oh, okay. But Rose said, apparently the friction difference on the slide, she goes at fucking

70 miles an hour now in this suit. Apparently it's unbelievable speeds she can get up in this suit. So I'm quite excited to see that. She sounds like a red ball drink daredevil. You know the red ball, one challenging. Like the fastest slide ever and it went oom. You know that thing that was it, Ian Thorpe or was it the other one, the American one, Michael Phelps when they wore the like that suit that got banned for swimmers in Olympics, whatever that was. I don't think the Australian runner, the female Australian runner that wore one with like a hood on. Oh, Kathy Freeman, yeah. She looked like a human sperm. Yeah, she looked like a human sperm. That's clearly peltiannual. That's clearly pelting it around the park. There's nothing else to do do that. I I that. I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that's that's tho, I've tho, I've tho, I've the thoom, I was the thoomat, I was the the thoom, I was the the the the the the the the the the the the the Australian, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was the Australian, I was the Australian, I was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I was was was was th. I was th. I was th. I was tho, I was that, I was that, I was that, I was that, I was that, I was that, I was threats was that, I was threats was threats, I was that, I was the Australian was the Australian was the Australian that, I was the slides. I don't know, do you think it's going to be busy? Yeah, the parks rammed when I've been to the park. You've been locked up ten days. There's nothing else to do. Even Matt Hancock was in the park the other day,

someone filmed him, even though Boris said everyone's stay at home and Ancock's bowling around a park looking. You know, as much as you know, as much as you know the government are being them. But what a terrible life it must be like all week on good morning Britain on the news and then having to change your kid around the park where everyone films you and shouts at you. Jesus Christ. I've got a few little tips, lockdown tips Josh. I think we should go back to that. I feel like we're right. I'm so glad we didn't change your name of it because we're right back in the fire of lockdown now. So little tip tip tip to to to their their their their their their their their their to their their their their their their to to their to their to to to to to to to to to to be to their their to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to their their to to their their their to to to to to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their today. today. today. today. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. today. today. to today. tod of it because we're right back in the fire of lockdown now. So little tip if you're going out to the park don't give your kids any liquid. Yeah. They won't need a piss. Just let them drink when they get home. What do you feel about? Dehydration? Taking children behind the bush, Rob. What's your view on that?

Well, I think that's fine, especially in lockdown. I mean I've even had a pissing the bush on walks recently. I've been going for long walks so I'm pissing on the floor in a bush in the corner. Deal with it. That's just you know where else you want me to go. It was a piss myself as I walk again. I can is I've never used a vagina to piss myself personally. No I've never used to I've never I've always been cock and balls when I'm pissing. So I don't really understand the angles it comes out and I you know and that's why I find difficult. Do you mean you can aim a dick but I don't really understand how a vagina can aim. So I sort of get the girl's legs and just lift them up and sort of fire it almost like it's like a like a gun. Oh really? Is that what you do? You don't go with the crouch?

No, because a crouch. I used to do the crouch but they were just it would jet at an angle onto. Oh, the moment the trousers is. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, it, it, it, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their, they. It's, it's, it's, the, the, the, the, they. It's, their, they. It's, it's, it's, it's, them to crouch, when they crouch, I pick them up from their thighs, right? So I've got their back on my sort of chest and thighs up and then just sort of aim it. You know, you know, I'm not like cannon water guns they get a theme park, you know, a fair game. I sort of like, imagine a two-added catarer, their their their their their their their their their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they's them pissing behind a bush. And that's the way I'll do it. Because if they just crouch, it just goes onto the trousers or knickers, I find. So if someone wants to walk around the corner, you'd just be firing your daughter's piss at them. Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't fire it at people unless they had something to say to me

and I might give themthe main park of a little bush somewhere and then just pick up and so more on the corner said, all right mate, are you the bloat for Mott the Week? Yeah, okay, yeah mate. She ain't got a dick, this is the best way to do it. Yeah, fair enough. I think that's a good back and forth, that's just top level stuff. I don't think anyone can argue with that. I mean what's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. the thi. thi. thi. the thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that the the tho' th. th. Are th. Are th. Are the bloat. Are the bloat. Are the bloat. Are the bloat. Are you you the bloo. Are you the bloo. Are you you are you are you are you are you are you are you are you are you are you are you. Are the the the the the the the th. the th. the the th. th. the the the the th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. thooooooooooooa. thoa. thoooa. thoooooa. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooe. Are you're piss. I'd do the the the crouch but I'm I'm not doing it I'm not confident that it's not going to be the end of the whole trip do you know what I mean? Yeah exactly but I do find the double-landed water gun approach it does eradicate that risk because it will not go on the trousers they might enjoy it they do they do they do so enjoy it they do so become quite a fun thing that th th th th th th th th th th th th I th I th i th i th i th i th i th i th i th i th i th i th is th is th is th is th is thi thi thi to to to to to thi. thi thi to thi. thi. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th i th i th i th i th i th i th i th i th i thi thi thi thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi to to to to thi to you holding them like a bazooker on the shoulder but that can't be right I'm crouched myself I you know I'm I to eye to eye with Danny DeVito you right to eye to eye with Danny DeVito okay yeah that's what we're operating at I

also think that's probably if Danny DeVito that's angle of the piss. He's always there waiting, it's something he does. Oh the other thing I've been, do you toy is that they squeeze or press that it's really loud? I think people know this already and there isn't a way to make it quieter, open it up and put a bit masking tape on the speaker to muffle the sound. Oh that's good. So we had to try. How did you work that out? I don't know, I just think this toy was really loud and they didn't have a thing on it. I thought, if I just, you know, you can normally open the back of it and take the battery's, just put a bit of masking tape over the speaker and it just do do the sound. That's good, Rob. And then, and then let the next level is just. the the the the the the next. the next. the next. the next. the next. the next. the next. the next. the next level. the next level. the next level. the next level. the next. tapapape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. the next. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. the the the their. their. their. their. tapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapap. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It any lockdown tips, do email them in. So we're back now in lockdown for the foreseeable really, aren't we? Oh, could I tell you the lockdown idea disaster I had? Yeah? Nighttime scooters? Oh, like when it got to about four or five o'clock it gets dark and they're going to be I'll take about a scooter out outside, yeah. In the dark, because it's it it it it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's their their their their their their their their, because they've got light on the street, right? Yeah. Because it's like the wheels light up and, you know, it'll be a bit of fun.

Anyway, it lasted about three seconds. They immediately could just keep, because it's like the paper and ain't level. Just they both fell over about 15 times each. I've got that's that's the two hundred yards. I was like, right let's back in, that's the end of my time to. I even had, but I've got a hat with a light on it. I was even aiming it at the pavement, but it still went enough. So nighttime scooters, it doesn't work. Here to Judge. Hello. Here to Judge is a new weekly podcast from Little Wonder where we dismantle predicaments posted online. Featuring spicy dilemmas from Am I the Arshole on Reddit. I haven't stopped giggling since you've said the word poops. Two, am I being unreasonable quandaries on Mum's net? I'm an adult and I'm reading this aloud.

Join me, Priya Hall. Me Robin Morgan. And me, Leylan of Arby. Subscribe to Here to Here to Judge Judge to Judge to Judge to judge to judge to judge to judge to judge judge to judge to judge judge judge judge judge judge judge judge judge to judge judge judge judge judge judge judge judge to judge judge to judge judge to judge to judge to judge to judge to judge to judge to judge to judge to judge to judge to judge to judge to judge to judge to judge to judge to judge to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thea.ea. tooo-c. too-Ia. toe. the to the the. Subscribe to Hear the Judge Now on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. I love this podcast so much. This is the problem now, isn't it? It's doing this lockdown, and it's dark at four, it's dark when you wake up. It's cold. I mean, imagine if there wasn't a vaccine Rob this. I know, very exactly. Also as well, Daffodils are sneaking out Josh. The day, every day, right, the day's getting longer, right? Each day is going that way and then it'll be the, it'll go, the clocks will go back. So we are getting it. It's a slow grind, but we're getting us. You've just got keep the faith. Ka. And like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. to, they. the, the, it's, it's, it's, it's, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to. to. to. to. to. to. the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the they. they. the the they.a. the the the the the the they.a.a.a. the getting this. You've just got to keep the faith. And like you say, whatever happens,

you can't change what's that and you can't change all the bad news. You can only change the way you process it and deal with it. And you've got to try and keep positive. And sure, every night, I have anxiety dreams about me, when you can get it Josh. Do you know what I mean? If you're having that dream, at least you're asleep. At least you're asleep. You could be awake thinking of that. Yeah. Here's something that I've struggling to deal with in lockdown. Yeah. I think I've gone off sport. Really? Yeah, why is that? So the day of recording it's Liverpool v. Manu, which should be really exciting. Yeah, yeah. I couldn't give a shit. Really? I'm excited. I'm into it. Why have I gone off sport?

Like I check the Plymouth score. There'll be football matches that I don't even know are going on now. I don't even really click through to it now on the Guardian and the BBC. What's gone wrong with me? Your team isn't th. th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's theeiii. I's theiiiii. I's thei. I's thi. I's thithe Guardian and the BBC. What's gone wrong with me? Well your team isn't in the Premier League, that's what I'd say. No, that's that's been the same for the last 25 years Rob. Yeah, of course, but so there's no full invested interest in it. But and about the Premier League, the thing about the crowd. the truth about football is it's. celebrating at the away end and all that, that it's lost its pageantry. So it's now, it's just the game and the truth about football is it can be mind-nummingly boring. But- Have I just realized that football is actually shit after all? And all I like is the kind of tribal nature of the fans that.

I do think football can be amazing. Football could be the best sport in the world. I think that's the the the the the the the the their their their th is is their their their their their their their their their th is their their tribe could could could could could could could could could could could could could be their football could be their football could be the best. It's the best football could be their football could could could could be their football could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could. the best sport in the world but it can be the most boring. I think that's totally fair but the tribal aspect of it elevates it. So even if it's boring, it's interestingly boring, it's interesting because if Liverpool are drawing Neil Neil with West Brom and it's is exciting because all the Liverpool fans are getting the ump at West Brom and they're cutting the drama of it of seeing loads of you know the live the the the the the the the the the the the the lives the th th th th ths ths ths ths ths ths ths ths. ths. thi thi thi the the the the. the. It's the and the a looings. It's int. It's int. It's int. It's int. It's int. It's int. It's int. It's int. It's th. It's th. It's th. the. the. the. the an th. the an th. thin's is interestingly thin's is interestingly th. thin's is interestingly thin's thin's thin's thin's thinn't. It's thinn't. It's thinn't. It's inter an thinn't thr an thra. It's interananananananan't toea and. It's interanan't toea. It's interma. I know I'll keep bang the jump of basketball. Basketball is so exciting. There's a reason why in football when it's really good they go, God, it's like a basketball match. Just watch basketball then. I'm not buying this man. You're not buying it. I'm not going to. But I am enjoying the football and I'm getting into. But you're not watching as much watching as much watching as much watching as much watching as much watching as watching as watching as watching. I. I. the the football. the football. I. I. I. the football. I. I. I. I. I. I'm watching. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the football. I'm. I'm going. I'm getting. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I'm. I. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. the. the. It's. the. I'm. the. the. the. I'm. the. I'm. the. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm you haven't watched the game for ages? I don't know what? I don't know who I am anymore. Josh why don't you get go you're going to the park right and then you're coming home so you'll have earned like a couple of hours because you know Rose isn't going with you to

the park? Well you're not gonna yeah I have got I've got an hour that I've got a to have to the park. I've got a to go the to to to the to the to to the to to th. I've got th. I've got th. I've got th. I've got th. I've got an th. I've got an th. I've got an th. I've got an to to to th. I've got an to go to th. I've got an to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I've got th. I've got th. I've got th. I've got th. I've got an th. I've th. I've the th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've got th. I've got to to th. I have got and you'll enjoy this Rob. I've got a osteopath appointment from a stiff neck. The old stiffnecks back is it? Oh the stiffencks back. Here he is! Covered it that's medical isn't it? Because you're stiff neck? Yeah it's perfectly legal. So I've got an appointment because I've got I can't look to the left at the moment. Oh really okay that's quite good though the BBC. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th the if thean. took. I tipe. I tipe. I can't tipe. I tip. I can't tip. I tip. I can't tip. I tipe. I the. I? Okay that's quite good though for the BBC they want more right-win comedians. Yeah lovely bit of business. Here we are all day. All day. That stiff-neck would have had to have three writers in a room that would have worked out. Where to put the funniest. to put the funniest. to put the funniest. the fuer. I'm fucking. the' thee. Sure it could have been a bit bit the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' th. th. th. th. the. thin' thi. the. the' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. theeeeeea'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a' the. time for that Josh exactly just fish bash boss get that joke out speed no sense let's go let's go Josh do you know what I've missed doing this I I've I've liberated getting that off my chest because you know I feel like a

weight off my shoulders before I go to the park and it all goes back on to the shoulders and also my shoulders I don't need a weight on them with the stomach my neck oh the way oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the the the to the the to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to the the to to to to to to to th th I the I tho I to thoooo. thee I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the with the story of my neck. Oh the way your left neck goes. Hopefully don't go on the right hand slide or you're screwed mate. You'll have to just keep turning. Just keep turning round. Ed can't go, just the body can. Is that he did a photo shoot just looking over your shoulder the whole time? He can't go left. Stiffy McGee. Stiff Stiffy McGee, he wouldn't need an osteopath. End of his spirit. I don't want that to become my nickname. Stiffy McGee? When anyone says, I don't want that to become my nickname. Yeah, that was a mistake.

Bobby B and Stiffy McGee are signing out. Fantastic. We're back to, could we stiff? So we are back with, yeah, our series is back properly for series two, where we will be us on the Tuesday and then we'll have our guests on the Friday. Yes. Our first episode is Paddy McGuinness, so we've got loads of good ones. I'm going to say in the can already. Yes, we've been working behind the scenes. We've got loads to bring you that we want you to hear., uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the series, the series, the the series, the the series, the the the the the the series, the the the the the thea. series series, thea. series, to the thea. series to to to to to to to to say it in the can already. Yes, we've been working behind the scenes. We've got loads to bring you that we want you to hear. They'll be out every Friday. We'll be out every Tuesday.

Don't forget to email us or Instagram us anything, any tips, any stories, any of anything you want to tell us, and I'll be tottop of the list and the one that gets read out as well. To be honest with you it's a last come first serve basis around here. It's the old elisciform. Exactly, exactly. And I do want you to anonymously slag off people at the school gates and rubble get angry about it. And I'll do it and I can you can live vicariously through my anger. Thanks for listening guys. I've been Bobby B. That's been Stiffy McGee and we'll be back next week.