Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S02 EP10: "Feels like a practice divorce..."

Episode Date: February 23, 2021

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL'S02 EP10: "Feels like a practice divorce..."More misadventures in parenting from Josh and Rob.Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Looking for a collaborator for your career, a strong ally to support your next level success, you will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue. York you.C.A. Back to school signals a fresh start for students. New classmates, new teachers, new lessons. Change is in the air. But one thing hasn't changed.

The forward government still isn't investing in public schools. Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the supports they need. They can't wait another year. If the forward government won't change, it's time to change the government. Our kids are counting on us. Join us at Building Better Schools.C.A. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. Hello, I'm Josh Riddickham. And I'm Robbeckin. Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell. The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. And to make a little tricky. So in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation,

and to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest none of us know what we're doing. Hello and you are listening to lockdown parent in hell with Josh Widdickham. Josh Wiggum and Rob Beckett. Rob Beckett. That's really good. Right, bedtime? There we go. That is five-year-old Penny Walker. Penny, what, that was so efficient. It was so efficient. It was almost like a Glaswegian football manager.

Just like, let's get this done, say the names and we could get it over and done with. Do you know when he's not a fish and Rob? This is Penny saying Josh and Rob's names during her ever-increasing lockdown bedtime, which went from 7.30 to 9 p.m. Oh, how old is she? Five. She has agreed that if I let her record her voice, she'll go straight to bed after. As you will hear here here here here here here here here here here here here here here.

As you were here, she lies well. Oh wow, well yeah, I think, do you know what, lockdown, as we're recording this, we were recording this on the Monday before Boris announced the road map, but 8th of March is looking likely for schools to go back, Josh. How you feeling about it, Rob? Oh, I can't wait. All I want is my kids to go to go to school, a haircut,. That'll do me. Bob, how far away is a hair cut for you? The hair cut? It must be another three months, two months. Do you know what? Do I tell you I did my own hair cut Rob? Yeah, but you don't really have a hairstyle, do you? What? How very dare you? Yours is just a big ball of hair, that you just sort of... Not after I dealt with it, mate, mate. thi'. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'd to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I, I, I, I, I did, I did, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll to to tel tell you. tell you, I'll tell you, I'll tell you, I did tell you, I did tell you, I did tell you, I did Rob? Yeah. Do you know Kit who does makeup on, and Sammy, who do makeup on Last Leg? Yeah, they do,

they can't do my hair cut, but they could direct me to do my hair cut. Oh, so they, yeah, because I've done stuff now where you get makeup people, but they don't, they can't put it on your face. They they they can't can't they can't they can't can't can't they can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't they can't put they can't put they can't put they can't put they can't put they can't put they can't put they can't put they can't put they can't put put they can't put they can't put they can't put put put they can't put put put they can't put they can't put they can't put they can't put they can't put they can't put they can't put they can't put it they can't put it they can't put it they can't put it they can't put it they can't put they can't put they can't put they can't put they can't put they can't put they can't put they can't put they can't put they can't put they can't put they can't put th. th. that. they can't put it th. that. they can't put that. they can't put they can't put they can't put they can't put they can't put they can't put they can't, they tell you how to apply it, don't they? Yeah, so I was talked through doing my own hair cut, basically bunching my hair with my hands and then, because I couldn't get the knack of it with the scissors in the mirror because it's actually very difficult in the mirror, trying to cut your own hair. It is, it is really, it's very surprising because youthose tricks where you have to drive a thing in a mirror whatever yeah so I just had a pair of clippers just I was just basically holding my hair out and then just clippering the ends off all the bits of hair oh well done does it look right what did you have it on last leg if I watch it yeah yeah it looks all right I think it looks quite good okay

okay I'll have a look on all four later to see your hair and then okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'll the the th the th I'll th I'll th I'll th I'll th I'll the th I'll th I'll have I'll have I'll th I'll th I'll have I'll have I'll have I'll have I'll have I'll have I'll have I'll have I'll have I'll have I'll have I'll have I'll have I'll have I'll have I'll have I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll th I'll th I'll th I'll have I'll have th th th th th th th th th th the th th th the th th th th th th the th th th th th th the th th th thtoo right. And then obviously I'll turn it off immediately once I've seen you're in. But I think, you know, actually, for entertainment and television, you are, ah, if you get a letter from production, allowed to get your hair cut, but I think these rules were introduced if you are playing a like a period drama character, you have to have your hair cut or you can't do the show, but I think in many to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the their their to to to their to their their to their to to their their to to to to to to to to to to to their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, their, their, their, their, their........... But, their, their, their, their, their, their, you their, you their, you their their their their their their their their the. the. the. the an theateateatea. tea. tell, toea. toea. toeanananananananananananananananananananeteen, toe. But cut or you can't do the show but I think many ways Rob you're playing the character of Rob Beckett which is many ways of coming to Victorian chimney sweep character in a way it is a period drama of that time but yeah we could sort of bend the rules to get a haircut but I don't think it's the right thing to do Josh. No not when you can do it yourself with a hair cut by someone else again. And I'd argue, my Instagram stories are funnier when I've got the hair of Myra Hindley. So, you know, it's working in my favor, really,

the silly hair, you know? Exactly. So would you consider cutting your own hair? No, I can't. No, I'm not the optimist, Josh. Part me feels like it's gonna happen soon, but I'm gonna see what Boris says and then make a decision on it.

But yeah, anyway, we'll see how, how's your week been Josh in a lucky, lucky, lucky D3? Um, yeah, ups and downs. It was on top of stuff on Wednesday morning at 1130. I'd say I was on top of everything. It was all going well. Call from nursery. Daughter's been sick. Oh, do you know what? I know this is, I hope she's okay, but I'm not sort of saying, oh God, you're so conditioned for it to be COVID-related. I was like, oh, just a bit of sick, an old-school child illness. Yes, please. Give me a carpol to do, though, and let's ride this out. Well, that's what you bloody think, isn't it, Rob? So, and I totally agree with this policy.

Being sick is an instant 48-hour ban from nursery. I think that's fair. I think bands a harsh word, like you've done it on purpose. Bands the wrong word, isn't it? Suspended. He was suspended. It feels like she's been sick on someone for effect. Yeah, she keeps trying to go back and they keep trying to fuck off. It's really awkward. Um. Two day man, it's so fun. I thought when she threw up and they brought out the red card, I felt that was unneeded. Yeah, yeah, that was a real term. Yeah she never been sick before there'd been no need to use them. Exactly. So we get the phone call she's been sick. Obviously her going in Wednesday Friday she can't make the Friday that anymore so suddenly suddenly the complexion of the week has changed hugely in an instant.

Yes. But you think it'll be fine it'll be a lot of clangers and sofa. Yeah to be honest I'll the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. they're they're, it'll be a lot of clangers and sofa. To be honest, I'll probably still get all the stuff I need to do done and Rose will just sit on the sofa and watch the clangers with her. Yeah, so yeah, yeah. Because Rose isn't working at the moment. She does a sit, buying and selling antiques. She's taking photos of my hand at holding a variety of heavy things. I mean, she's she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I'll, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's stuff, she's th. I'll th. She's, she's to to to to to to to to th. She's, she's, she's, she's probably, she's probably, she's probably to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to be to to to to to to to thi, she's like a some sort of lockup the amount of furniture that Rose is shifting online? Oh nice. It feels like some sort of drug baron cover up. Do you know what do you want me to just go down? downstairs. Do you want to just go down to the podcast? I don't know whether this is a good podcast. Could you feel for 30 seconds? Yeah take a photo of my daughter's we've just moved her out and you to to to to to to to to to th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah... Yeah. Yeah............... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'll. I. I'll. I'll. I'll. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t.. the Instagram. And you can, I'll text it to you and you can, I'll be back in ten seconds. I'll react, ten seconds. We've all been to Josh's house on this podcast for one episode and I'm still in awe of the knickknacks. I think I can hear Rose laughing at Josh taken

a photo. But I, it's a constant stream of furniture being bought and sold that I can't, I don't know where they they they they they they th. I th. I th. I th. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. th. I'm, I'm, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. toge. toge. took, I'll took, I'll took, I'll tell you took, I'll tell you, I'll tell you, I'll, I'll, I'll took, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, know where they keep it if I'm honest with you and part me thinks are they just shipping drugs in it you buy a hundred pound wardrobe and what do you find in it a kilo a cake do they call it cake is a cake a kake of drug term snow a kilo a snow Michael's laughing and also why you've spoken on this before why am I feeling when you're here I was gonna jump in I quite enjoyed you sort sort of monologuing it to herself. What happened? Well, I basically sat monologue into myself for ages, then I realized Michael was there and he spoke before, I could have just, I could have just spoke to Michael. Oh, so bear in mind, a week ago my daughter slept in this room. Fucking hell Josh that is that that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I'm that, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've, I've that, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th house that you're gonna have to start paying business rates I

Feel like I'm living in a big yellow storage. Yeah, and it doesn't look bad It's just that is a stock room. Yeah, it is a stock room. This is terrible. No, if you do put this people try to the furniture will have a negotiating Sort of strength here by going no, I know you need to get rid of it. Oh, well Rob we'll th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that's that's that's that's that's thi. thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's thi. It's thi. thi. that's that's that's that's that's thee. that's that's the. that's thi. thi's thito this. Can I just say, sorry if I will come back to this. I've got so much to tell you. Okay, yeah. But sorry if I just went quiet, but I did just mistakenly wheel away from the microphone because I've got a new chair that has loosened my neck. Oh wow, we've got a proper desk chair, office chair. I've the the the the the thue thue th got thue thue th. thuuuuuuuette, th. thu- thu-a. thu-a. thu-a. thu-a. thu-a. thu-a-a-a-a-a-a-I've got tho'-s. tho'-o'-a-o'ero'ero'ero'eroyan tho-s. I'm tho-s. I'm tho-s. I'm tho-s. I'm tho-s. I'm tho-s. I's tho-s. I's tho-s. I's thu. I's thu. I's thu. I's thu. I's-s. I's-s. I's-s. I'm th-s. I'm tho'-s. I'm tho'-s. I'm tho'-s. I'm tho'-s. I'm tho'-s. I'm sorry-s. I'm sorry-s. I'm tho'ero'er-s. I'm sorry-s. I'm sorry-s proper desk chair, office chair. I've got a desk chair. Is it ergonomic?

Oh, mate, do you know what? I asked my osteopath, I said, I should change my chair because I always get stiff neck when I'm in front of the computer. The problem is now, saying I've got a bit of a stiff neck is an absolutely fine thing to say but you can't say that to your stipefath without laughing now, thuu of course. And the word Stiffnack to me now doesn't mean stiff neck. It means, it means humorous comeless comedian who's well regarded in Edinburgh but can't sell around the country. Oh, is that what it is? Humilous. I thought that's a bit harsh on a stiff neck. I'd just say they spend more time writing. Well, speaking as one myself, Rob. Actually, I'd take it back. Because I was thinking this the other day. In most circles in comedy, I would be considered quite a loose neck.

Only on a podcast with you am I considered a stiff neck. Yeah, I know, but you're only a little bit stiffer. Do you know, I'm not a full stiffer. Do you can jump between the two. You're not to to to to to to th. You're not, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're th, you're th, you're th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, I'm, I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm, I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm, I'm th, I'm th, I, I, I'm th, I, I, I, I th.. I, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, th, th... I th, th. I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.. I'm, th two. Do you know, you're not full-blown stiff. So you got a wheelie chair, that's fun, isn't it? Yeah, would you have paid the extra 30 pounds to have the man build it, Rob? And it depends on what my sort of self-esteem situation was that week. I tell you what, during COVID, no, out of COVID, yes. Because I won't want him in the house, but did you pay the extra? No, and I regret it instantly. Oh, God, yeah. If I'm honest, the only reason I wouldn't get him to do it would be shame, but that is not a reason to do anything.

I'm like, I could build a fucking joke. It had a 4.5 easiness rating on Amazon to construction. Out of what? Out of five? Fucking hell, that's hard! No, I think it was like, it's good. Oh, maybe it was meant to be tell. No, surely, the lower the number, the easier it is. Oh God, maybe that was the mistake I made. I haven't even heard of this before. An easiest, what is it an easiest? Well, it was like, it was like, marks out of five, and it was 4.5 which I thought meant it was easy to construct. No, that's a hard one.

Oh, I've had a... Well, I tell you what, I knew it was bad, opened it. It came with a pair of construction gloves. My trampoline did even come with gloves. Who knew a chair came with fucking gloves? Tiny pair of white gloves like a snooker referee, right? Yeah, why would you need that?. G glove to to to the to to to the to to to to the to to the to to the to to to to the the to their to be to be to be to be their to be to be to be to be to be to be to be their thoomkedue. thoom. thoom. I'm thoom. I thoom. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thoome. I thoome. I the. I the. I the. I the. I that I didn't use them. You had no glove you de-glove for it. I went hand nude. You are tackled a 4.5 difficulty chair bear back. You're an animal John. I am an animal and get this no instructions. What? Where did you get this chair from? I got it from Amazon I should admit I try not to but it was I I've I've got I've got to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get the to get to get to get to get to get the to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get. I'm to get. I'm to get. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. their. their. to. to. their. their. to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. I. Get to. I. I. Get to. G. I. G. I. G. G. G. G. G. G. I. G. G. G. G. G. G. I. G. G. G. G. G. G. I. G. Amazon I should admit I try not to but it was I

I've got prime and I needed it as a matter of course my neck stop apologizing Josh okay everyone uses Amazon also someone's got to support the big man exactly but but can I ask a question your house is beautiful right but very sort of like vintage and everything's from different areas and like that all goes together yeah so stands out like sawthumb or not. Yeah, so you knit, this chair is for a stiffnecks itch, and it's not about the aesthetic and beauty of it. How has Rose dealt with that being in the house? Because I know Lou would find it quite annoying,

having something in the house that serves a purpose, but isn't pretty. Yeah, well, let me put it this way. path recommended one of those desks that goes up and down on a remote control. Oh yeah, twat desks. Yeah, tweak. Yeah, yeah, I know them. The one that you feel like I can't write this email sat down, I've got energy. I've got energy to deliver. What does possible sound like for your business business?

What does possible to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with Business Platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and Conditions apply. Visit MX.C.A.S. to business platinum. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber one for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats.

I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber one for students. A membership to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. Normally people that doesn't work in a creative industry have them to look creative.

That's what it is. Yeah. Well, I would say, when I signed with my agent, what would this be now, 10 and a half years ago? I went to a meeting with another agent. And when I walked into the building, I could see into his glass office, and he was stood up with a hands-free phone with his twat desk up and his hands behind his head as he taught like he was... Oh my god, what's that got to be a 4.5 and a twat rating in it? So you haven't gone for the twat desk? You've got your normal desk? No, I've got the normal desk I thought I wouldn't do the twat desk? You've got your normal desk. No, I've got the normal desk. I thought I wouldn't do the twat desk. Because I'd prefer to be in physical pain for the rest of my life than I'm a twit desk.

Hunched over like a wanking squirrel, but I'm no twa'at man. Exactly. I'm no twiat. Don't you worry about me. Yeah, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my back. My, my back. My, my back. My, my back. My, my back. My, my back. My, my back. My, my, my, my back. My, my back's. My back. My, my back's. My, th. My, th. My, th. My, t. My, t. My, t. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My, my, my, my, my, my. My. My. My. My. My. My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my back's. My, my back's. My, my back's. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. t not a twit no worries anyway so you got the chair you set it all up yourself I yeah well I would have paid and then I found the instructions oh the absolute classic yeah why was I saying this anyway the reason I was saying this is we went to pick up my daughter from nurse oh yeah she's been sick yeah so by the time we got to nursery you know when you're sick and then you're just completely fine. Yes. You've completely got rid of the bug. It's almost like a tactical sick on a big piss up. Yeah. She was fine. Oh no.

Full of beans. Yeah. Yeah, she didn't want to leave nursery. Couldn't understand why she let me. Oh, she can't compute the ban. She's got 40-houbled. the kids. She's got 40, she's sitting there on 48 hour ban. Full energy. Oh no, bless her and she's desperate to see all the kids and stuff.

Yeah, I'm going to say it Rob. Obviously you would never wish illness on your own child, but it's even more galling when they've got a 48 hour ban and they're completely fine. Yeah, because you sort of think, if they're in enough to leave nursery, they're curled up on the sofa until they feel better. Exactly. It's not a fair swap, Josh. It's not a fair swap, Rob. But there we go. How has your lockdown been? Well, last week has been interesting. Well, it's quite difficult to do a parenting podcast because I've been filming with Romesh. Yeah. Yeah. For new episodes of Rob and Romish Verses, I've been in a flat on my own for a week and I've basically been in this flat while we film and I'm just at the end of like a five-day isolation test a release thing that I've been

going home to mo-mo'eigh that I should be at home by then because I've not seen anyone. So yeah, I've been in a flat of my own going mental. In a way, Rob, you have been given the gift a lot of us have been dreaming of for the last 12 months. Yeah, I cannot deny it. It was horrible saying goodbye to Lou and the Girls, but the first 48 hours in a flat on my own was glorious. I can't.

I can't. I'd only be lying if I said, now, obviously it's been probably about a week and a half or whatever. I'm missing them and I really want to get home and lose and poor Lou's been having to look after both of them, so she's had the right shitty stick on the end of this. But it feels very much like a practice divorce. And obviously we're not, we are very happy, there's no potential divorce, but if we were to get divorced, the actual day-to-day situation I'm in now is what it would be. I'm going to ask you a few questions. Did you bring the PlayStation? Yes.

Yeah. Did you bring a lot of work to get on with? Yes, but I haven't really done as much as I planned because of... If I refer you back to the first question. Because I used to, when are you got up kids, it'd be like I'd be able to get an hour in about eight o'clock and then I can't play call of duty the war game too late because I've bad dreams because it's too intense. So like I've been playing a lot of that to be fair. So what was your next quick? No there were the questions. I'm, case case, case, case, case, case, case, case, case, case, case, case, case, case, case, case, the case, the case, the case, the case, the case, their, their, their, their, their, their, to. to. to. to. to. to to to to. to. to. to to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I, I, I. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. to. th. to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I that to be fair. So what was your next quick? I've done as much as well. No, there were any questions. Case rests, your honor. What's your food been like?

Well, food, I've had to buy loads of food in because I couldn't go to the shops again. But I've been doing keto as well, which is just no carbs and no sugars. And that's been alright. It's been quite good to have a little diet thing like that because you can put, sometimes choice is the enemy, Josh. Yes. And then you should I get a takeaway from here or should I go there? But I've been going to the shops have been quite strict my diet.

And I've lost a little bit of weight, so I'm quite happy with that. So that's been like great to have a bit of time to, you know, do my work and sleep, but without anyone else in your flat, the days are fucking long. They are long. What are your hours? What hours are you keeping? Well, I'm waking up about eight o'clock in the morning, just out of sort of habit,

which is a bit of a lie in anyway at 8 o'clock. Then basically I go to bed about 11 and watch YouTube for about 3 hours. I just can't get to sleep. So I'm not really doing enough in the day to get tired. So it's very much like, it's two extremes. But yeah, it's like, the kids do keep you busy. They do feel the day even though it's exhausting but like I don't know how those people that did you know before we was even even allowed support bubbles when people that lived alone in a flat on their own in a big city. Hat goes off she it must have been so

hard to do and I have listened to so many podcasts to like because it's like company so I really hope that they're people to listen to like, because it's like company. So I really hope that there are people that listen to this and it just feels like you catch up with mates because that really helped me just sort of doing that. But anyway, I'm home, I'm home tomorrow, but yeah, no, nothing too mental to happen. Do you talk to yourself? Uh, yes, sort of quite sort of motivational. A bit like a football manager from the side, from from from from from from from from from from from the side.

. If I got a bit down, don't worry Rob, you've done a big shop this morning, you've had a cup of tea and you've gone for a walk. It's going okay. Just do some more Lego and colouring in and it'll all be alright. Wow. I've made a fit at 500, that a Lego. I've got a little baby Yoda to do, and I've been doing loads, and I've been doing loads of coloring. that you've left your kids and you're doing the exact same thing that they're doing? I know, but I don't, I'm not really one of those blokes that like, yeah, can't wait to get away from the wife of kids, yeah, I like, I quite like being with them to be honest, but um, the coloring in, I sort of think it's a good thing to do my time,

but it does almost like, the threather no, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to, to, to., to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, like, to. paper like Charles Bronson's colouring and you're like oh my god you know and I think if I gave me to a therapist I'm like yeah that he's gone quite hard on that leaf of that true what are your pictures that you're doing oh mate I'm a strictly Mandela man a strictly Mandela man not not just portraits of all right I was gonna say there's a lot of colors on those shirts that's that's gonna be a th th a th a th a th a th a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot th th tho that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot th is a lot th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th is a lot th is a lot the the of the of the of the of the of the the the the the of the. the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. that's a lot that's a lot the is a lot th shirts that's that's gonna be a lot of fun to color it. Oh yeah Nelson Mandela yeah basically I just do different stages of Nelson Mandela Mandela really even at the World Cup final for the rugby him on the day became president no it's called Mandela Mandela's Mandela's it's like intricate like patterns I'll take some photos and I send one to you now so you can see yes tell me now and stuff so I've been doing to you now so you can see. Yes, turn one on to me now. And stuff.

So I've been doing that. She's been good. That's nice. I'll send you a picture. Oh, wow, you've done a really good job with that, Rob. Oh, that picture? Yeah, I'm quite good at them. But I've done loads.

I'll do it. Well, what my, felt it pen? Felt-it crayon. It's no, they're called Artisa. Inconic. And I almost definitely didn't get them from Amazon. I'm gonna say it, Rob. Yeah. I just remembered that you said to me that you'd disappeared down a David Ike wormhole. Yes. Yes.

And you know what, I thought, well that's a bit of fun. We've all disappeared down to David Ike Wormhole on online to see what, you know, what's going on there. But the fact you were at home on your own in a flat suddenly gives the whole thing a much harder edge. Do you know what? I genuinely think that if I did another month in it, I'd be a fundamentalist in something in something in something in something in something in something in something in something in something in something in something in something in something in something thist in something thist in something. Whether it was anti-vacts or religion or conspiracy theories, give me another month on my own with colouring in and YouTube and I would be up to all sorts. So it's probably quite good that I'm going home.

So Rob, yes. Do you know what I've started to do, Rob? Yeah. I've decided I need to do something before bed to relax. Yes. Do you know what I've started to do Rob? Yeah. I've decided I need to do something before bed to relax. Yes. So get ready to call me the King of the Stiffnacks. Okay, go on. When I was at a sick form Rob I did A-level photography. Yeah. So I've got really into buying books of photography and looking at photographs. Oh Josh that is one of my favorite things. Oh really? I'm assessed with photography books. th. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. th. th. Yes. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi tho tho tho tho tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thea thoooo tho to to to, that is one of my favorite things. Oh really? I'm assessed with photography books. Are you? No.

Yeah, on my life. I tell you want to go, Tashon does all the best posh ones, but they're expensive. But they sometimes do some cheaper ones, but they're alive. It's such an addiction. Yeah, it my God. Yeah, oh my God. So what photography books have you got? So I've started with Martin Parr, because you are of Martin Par, Rob, I'm going to buy,

I'm going to buy you and get you delivered. A Martin Parr? You are going to love it, Rob. So I start with that. And th, I, I, I, I, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've that, I've thi, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've th, I'm, I've, I've, I've, I've, th, th, th, th, th, th, so, so, th, so, to, so, so, to, so, to, so, to, to, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's I've just broadened out by reading a bit about him and then seeing the names of other photographers. Oh, I'm broadening from there. Oh, I love that. Documentary photographer, I like that. Oh, I love it, Rob. It's all about the British seaside.

Oh, I love it. I'm a big fan of Neil Leifer who's a boxing photographer and he's taken all the shots from like Arley up to Tyson and Wilder and Joshua and stuff but this is my new it it relaxes me so much yeah oh that's good I thought it was a bit of a stiff neck hobby but there we go maybe I'm a secret stiff one who knows maybe you're a secret stiffy I've got a secret stiffy in my colouring book. But the thing is, Josh, I'm very much a man of two parts where I will do that colouring in for hours, listening to podcasts if I'm on my own or on the train or actually not on the train because it's too jerky,

but like in a hotel room before a gig. But I'll also do that all day, feel quite Zen, and then before bed, I'll watch street fight knockout compilations. And bounces on YouTube. So it's like, I can't work out where I sit. I think, you're problems you're having with sleep. I think you're doing your day in the wrong order. I have. I should start with the bouncer fights, finish on the coloring in.

Yes, exactly. Well, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's got a little bit. Yes, that's my new hobby. I do think that's quite important though where I got a bit obsessed when I first had kids, making sure that their day's amazing and do stuff for them, but then I realized if I take some time for me, I'll be a better dad when I'm doing dad stuff. And it can't, you you you you you you you you th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's, I's, I's, I'm, I'm, that's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm. So, I'm. So, I'm. So, I'm. So, I'm. So, I'm, I'm. So, I'm. So, I'm, I'm. So, I'm, I's. So, I's. So, I's. So, I's. So, I's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's, I's. that's, I's, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th. th. th. th. th. th. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's for a short period and then you go off and do something for you rather and just sort of being quite stressed out angry dad all day. You know what I mean? Totally agree. It is.

So could I tell you about the one thing I did this weekend Rob? Yes, you can. Go for it. Cleaned out the basement. You cleaned out the base. after? Oh yeah, it's an absolute multimedia extravaganzan. If people aren't following us on Instagram after this. People are going to have to get more data for their Instagram accounts. Is that right? Go ahead. This is the before? Yeah. And here is the after. Come on.

Give it to me. Oh Josh, that is very impressive. T you very much. So it spent basically the whole of Saturday on it, cleaning out the basement. So what's your plan for that? Because it's not, it's quite a functional basement because you've got all your gas and electric and stuff down there and I've seen an ironing board. Is there potential to turn that into like a little podcast recording or a cat or a bar? A bar? Well no because it's got the washing machine and the tumble dryer and the ironing board and all the cleaning stuff just out of shot. So it is, it's just functional. But do you know what, it's brought up Rob? An issue in our relationship. Oh no, what's a Matthew Crosby-esque issue. Come on, give it to me. I love this.

So issues with Rose and what she does but you haven't brought it you brought it up with her yet? Yeah, I have. I have brought it up and that's part of the issue because have you got any issues with Lou where she knows it annoys you? But I think still doesn't still doesn't remedy it, but if anything, thrives on the fact she knows it annoys she knows. She does. It's when she just decides the house is going to be tidy, even though it's been a mess for three days and then she'll give me grief for, to be fair, if I'm both totally honest, I am way worse to live with than she, I will, I've got such short memory, I will just leave covers open and she just says the whole house is a handsome and grettled trail of what th, th, th, th, th, the th, th, th, th, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thu, thi, thui, thui, thrown, thrube, thrushed, thrushe, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thrown, thrown, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, throu'' thin, thi's thiled trail of what you've done that day. She reckons she could write my diary for me just by seeing what I've left over. Oh, so like crumbs on the side,

he's had a bit of toast. Oh look, he must have got something out of that cupboard because it's wide open. It looks like he's cleaned out the hamster cage because there's bits of hamster the stacket stuff on the floor. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff stuff stuff stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff. It's stuff like. It's stuff like. It's stuff like like. It's like like. It's like like. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C going on. That's what it is, yeah. Anyway, so what was the issue with Rose? There is a bag of presents that she bought for her cousins and auntie, who live in Nottingham, yeah. For Christmas 2018. Okay, well, part of me is going, core, that's still a bit late for this Christmas just gone, even though it's been

COVID, right? Yeah. That she's been saying she's going to send for two and a half years, Rob. Okay, but as she, how she sent ones for 2019 and 2020? No, I didn't allow her to buy them until she sent the 2018 once. And do you know what, Rob, this is going to show me a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thro. throooooooooooooo. the the throoooooooooo. the thi. the thi. the, this is going to show me a petty man. A few weeks ago, I considered throwing the bag away to see whether she would ever bring out, whether she'd ever notice. Yeah, but it's a waste of presents, isn't it? So we're not allowed, they're still wrapped? How big are they? I'd say... I was going to say what are they, but I don't want to get them. It's mainly cheese actually. I know. It's a puppy. So it's a bag of wrapped. I'd say the size of plastic bag. Plastic bags work. Oh so it's not massively in the way but it's there, yeah. But it's sat in various rooms and now it sits in the in the basement waiting to be set.

What would you do about this Rob? I would bring them out of the basement and put them on the dinner table? She said don't put them up. She was furious at the idea that I'd put them in the hallway as it... By the front door that's that's th. th. th. th. th th th th that's th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that's that's th. thus thus thus the wo the the wo the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the. the the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the the thea. thea thea thea thea the door, that's another place I put them. That's where I was going to put them, Rob. Yeah. Why doesn't she just send them? Mate, you're preaching to the choir. So what are what to spin our excuses? Well, I don't know if there's any, like, literal excuse, but I think it's always, it's just slightly far too down the to-do list every time. It's never the priority thing. But I think there comes a point two and a half years in when it needs to be the priority. Well yeah and I think it's almost quite funny that they get them now as well. So I don't think there's any embarrassment. How do they feel

that they've not had a present for three years? Well I don't know Rob. I don't and you've not seen them in person for. Well. Well for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for three for three for three for three for three for three for three for three for three for three for three for three for three for three for three for three for three for three for three three three three. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thr- thr- thr- thr- thi thi. thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. their their th. th. their their their their their their th. their th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. the. the. the. the. the. the. their the. their their the for three years. Obviously we haven't seen them in person since... Of course yeah but that is still that because that's really into lockdown in 2020. Actually we have seen them in person yeah we have seen them in person. In the summer you might have seen yeah. Summer 2019 so we would have seen this would have imposed I mean honestly I just want to open them and see what's in there I'm just now in she Rose doesn't know what's in their............... the. their. their. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. th. the. the.. th. th. th. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We...................................................... the. the. the. the. the. the. they. they. they. they. We're. they're. We're. We're. We're. they're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We's in there. I'm just now interested. Rose doesn't know what's in there now, obviously. It's too late. But what if it's those of people that have been cancelled? It's like, you know, like a Wiley album. Do you know, like stuff that was okay in 2018?

Do you know what? The signed Wiley album that was really expensive in 2018. Um, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that, that, that, that, that that that that that that that that that that that was th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho that that, tho tho o' tho o' tho- tho- tho- tho- tho-i, tho-i, tho-i, tho-i, tho-i, tho tho tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that-a-a-a-a-a-augh, tho-a, thooooooooooooooooooooo's th is a note but you found that when you tid it up did you? Yeah and it's still down there it's the only bit of mess left in the basement just it's just out in the middle of the floor in the basement I tell you what I'm gonna do what I might do it's for every week they're not sent I'm gonna open a new one on this podcast yes yes please the podcast to thi th please the the the the the the the the th please th I I I I I I I I I I I I th please th please th please th please th please tho th please tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the the the tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the only the only the only tho tho the only only only only only only the the the the the only only only only only only only only the the the the the the the the the. And then every Tuesday. She listens to the podcast. So I'm not going to say that I've said this. So that will probably give her two days of listening time. Yeah, two days. So that will give her five days to send before I'll open one on the next week. I think that's the thing. Okay, no one message. No one. th message. No one. No one. th. th. th. No one th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the podcast. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the podcast. to the podcast. to to the podcast. to to the podcast. to to to to the podcast. the podcast. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the., perfect. That's a great idea. Oh, I'm excited about that.

Oh my God. It feels like we may have an item for this show. We may have an item for this show. We're producing from the airwaves here. We can't an item for the show. That'd be great. I'm she sends them. Right Rob, a couple of quick emails? Yes please, Joshua. Shall we play the game we like to play where I give you the titles and you choose the

email? Yeah, that's always good. Okay, fake New Year, emotional low points or stupid things to cry over? Oh, um, okay, let's separate the crying. Let's start with emotional low points or stupid things to cry over. Oh okay let's separate the crying let's start with emotional low points go into New Year and then have the other sad one. Is that a sandwich? Yeah. Right this is from Ailey McQueen. Hi Rob and Josh. I was listening to a recent episode where you asked about emotional low points in lockdown and how things can get emotional in surprising ways. I thought I'd share with you a thing that made me cry during lockdown that normally wouldn't have. Number one, a cheesecake.

I was scrolling on Facebook one day and one of my friends had liked a cheesecake on some cafes page. I cried because the cheesecake was so beautiful and I was so sad that I didn't have one. I had to turn the tellie off the other day because James Martin was on this morning making Chelsea buns and I'm not allowed carbs. I just had to turn it over. I didn't cry that. That's nice. I think it's fun. I think this could be a regular item, things that made you cry that shouldn't really make you cry. Because I cried at the end of School of Rock, the film.

Did you? I was just so happy. Yeah, but yeah, I can buy that, Rob. But that's okay, is it? And the other thing I cried out the other day was a blind boy at a festival singing along to Jerry Cinnamon. It was cool.

He was just loving it and then even... Was this one of your midnight YouTube? I had true. Some of the stuff I've been watching on YouTube, Jesus Christ. So I'd cry for help. I reckon you could pass my search history to the police and I'd get sectioned. Number two, she cried at Pepper Pig. Oh, through anger or sadness? In this particular episode it was Mommy Pig's birthday. Daddy Pig got her new dress, tickets to the theatre, and then Granny and Grandpa Pig just casually popped over offering their babysitting services for the night. I cried again out of pure jealousy of the situation and sadness it wouldn't happen to me. Do you know what, I could go, as she was reading that, it made me realize. Because the thing is just life is so shit at the moment, like, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life, is their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the, life, life, isn't it? Like, you can't even just go like, and meet your mate for a pine. Oh, man.

It's mental, isn't it? And I'm getting conditioned that it's normal. It's not normal. Yeah. Oh God, yeah. And jealous. Imagine, imagine being jealous of Miss Pepper-Pick. Mommuppy.

the mummy pig. That is bad. Oh, we've got another stupid things to cry over. Do you want that? Yeah. It's from Sadie Lawrence. Currently homeschooling a four-year-old boy, not at all assisted by his 21-month-old sister. In between shifts as a mid-knife. A midwife? A midwife. Oh, Jack the Ripper impersonator. Just listening to series two, episode six. I mean I'm not going to be able to tell you which one that is, and heard your question about the stupidest things you've cried over. And I thought mine

might be up there. My little boy is absolutely obsessed with dinosaurs and has been for years. This means that he's often roaring to add sound effects to whichever dinosaurs he's currently playing with. During the second of the two times he had to isolate due to a a a a a positive, to a positive, to a positive, to a positive, to a positive, to a positive, to to to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the. I, thea, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, thea, thea, thea, the, the, the, the, the, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, the. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm, the the the the the thea, thea, thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, mie. thea, mi a positive case in his class, I asked him to stop roaring for a little while because I couldn't stand the noise any longer. He said no, so I burst into tears. I lost it a bit and I think I would class this as my milk tray moment. I think it is, that is a classic milk tray moment. Yeah, that the problem is the problem is the problem is just really I think it was when Polomafai faith a faith faith faith Ploma Faith on her baby she had the other day that when she said about like the kids are actually okay with this is the parents that aren't coping and I think that is so true because they're like they're just sort of bowed in about going yeah home school whatever we're the ones that just one

moment away from breaking into teams oh my god Oh God! We had to explain it. Rose had to explain it to my daughter yesterday. What what lockdown was? Yeah, she's got to an age. Lockdown's gone on so long that she's now comprehends it. Yeah, that's the same for us where my eldest was going, when lockdown ends, my friends come over. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, you can. Yes, they can. Hopefully April. So we've got, yeah. So she was asking why she couldn't have her friends over and stuff and we had to explain it while she was sat on the potty having a shit as well. It was quite a weird moment. I would like to, I would have to say that, the positives we can get from this is, if your kid is hanging around with something you don't really like, you can just say to them,

no sorry lockdown they can't come over but insert name of kids you do like they can come over. Yeah they have the test. Is that mean? No I think that's fine I think that's totally fine. It is weird. We haven't actually talked about the new measures have we really but like it does suddenly feel I know like a long time away still from any sense of normality doesn't it? Well I think from the eighth schools go back and I think I think technically we could meet at a park, me and Louie with the kids and so two households could meet and you you and Rose with the kid. I think that the weather will help. Like yesterday I felt so much more positive. Yeah just because the sun was out for a bit but what I would say is though if I had to be in this flat in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in August in a to th in th in to th in th in th in th in th in th in th in th in th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the thi. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the to be in this flat in August when it was light from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. that day would be too long. I'd run out of ink. I've been mandolid off me nut. I can't... the vision of you in that flat is quite bleak.

Um, fake New Year. This is from Jenny Burse. I wanted to email about after hearing about the pretend New Year's Eve party on the 30th. For the last two years, we've managed to convince our boys, age 4 and 6, that they've stayed up until midnight on Hogmanet by using the previous years London Firework Celebration on YouTube on the TV, when in actual fact, it was 7.45 PM. I managed to convince my oldest, who was asking why people were allowed to gather in a crowd this year due to COVID that TV people just added in those shots to make it feel like more like a celebration. They weren't really there but the fireworks and the celebrations were certainly real. They don't crush to the year being shown as we just say is to celebrate the year being finished.

We have a couple of Kaley dances and the boys are worn out, having stayed up so late, they're always asleep by 8.15. Not sure if we'll get away with it next year, but we'll probably try. I think that's a very ingenious way. You're giving them a new year. Yeah, I just, I do think though, you've just got to, you've just got to, you know, you're just got to get in with bullshit in your kids yeah my daughter's obsessed with Christmas she still goes on about it and she makes us play she called it pretend Christmas where I have to be father Christmas and she

closed her eyes and then you pretend to give her presents right yeah and I do think even at three I am thinking is she buying this father Christmas bullshit? Hang on you got to do a trigger warning here. Sorry, sorry, sorry. You can't bowl into it like that, Josh. I'm a photo of the car. But I'm talking about me being pretend to Christmas. You just got to just try and drag it out for as long as possible.

Oh, Josh, Lewis just sent me the roadmap has been published. Oh. Do you want to hear it? Yeah, go on. Live reaction. Okay, education. Eighth of March, schools and colleges open for all students, practical high education courses. Yeah. Eighth far away is that? Two weeks? Two weeks. Yeah. Eighth of March, social contact, exercise and recreation outdoors with one other with household. We're another household. Oh, that's good. So it's looking like first. It's, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Yeah, go, go. Yeah, go on, go on, go on, go. Yeah, go. Yeah, go. Yeah, go. Yeah, go. Yeah, go. Yeah, go. Yeah, go. Yeah, go. Yeah, go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, go. Yeah, go, go, go, go, go, go. Yeah, go, go. Yeah, go, go, go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. go. th. to. to. to. Yeah, go. th. Yeah, go. Yeah, go. Yeah, go. Yeah, go, go. Yeah, go. Yeah, 8th of March, social contact, exercise and recreation outdoors with one other with household. We're another household. Oh, that's good.

So it's looking like first pint in a pub could be 12th of April. Four days after my birthday. No, that'll still be part. That'll be the Monday. It's a long way away, isn't it, Rob. International travel might be, oh, why am I doing this out? This is shit. Yeah. It's bleak. Okay, um, Josh. Let's leave that. Have you got another email that... Do you want one more email, Rob? Yes, please. Okay. Do you want bedtime, portable looze or how Rob can have wonderful birthdays? How Rob can have wonderful birthdays? Because after that fucking mess, I need it. I've got long air and no friends. Let's have a birthday. to their birthday. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th latest episode feeling a lot of solidarity with Rob.

What with my birthday being Christmas even on? Oh, we emigrated to New Zealand a few years ago and Christmas, just for listeners Rob, what is she referring to? My birthday is on the second of January. Second of January. We emigrated to New Zealand and a few years ago and Christmas summer here is a revelation. Nobody goes back to work until the least after New Year's. And as the schools are out until February, it's common for people to take the month off over Christmas and Jan to enjoy the beautiful weather we have all summer long. More importantly, 2nd of January is a public holiday. No way! Nobody is back at work. It's mid-twenties and everyone's down a beach and having a Barbie. Plus the Kiwis are not shy of a beer so be plenty of people keen to celebrate with you. Simply you and your loved ones need to move to New Zealand.

Okay and there's no COVID there. And there's no COVID there. Oh do you know what? I mean that gives me hope. I've wanted to go on holiday like winter sun after Christmas and I have our big summer holiday after Christmas rather in August. Because the UK is so lovely in August. Yeah. I'd never get why you waste your money going away then when you can just go to like the new forest or summer and it'd be nice.

So maybe I'll shift my annual holiday. But it's the kids, ah, fucking kids. It's the kids going back to school, thi' the thin' their their thin' thin' thin' thin' their thin' their thin' thin' thin' thin' their thin' thin' thin' their their their their their their their thi' thi' thi' th' tho' tho' their their their their their their their their their their, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi... I's, thi. I's, thi's, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooomk. I's their their tha. I It's the kids going back to school, isn't it? Me and Lou could fuck off till mid-Jan. Fuck's sake. Fucking kids. Oh, God. I started well. I'm going to have to do some more coloring in to get me out of this road map, thunk.

Well, that's what we've got time for on today's episode of lockdown parenting hell. Oh, dear, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all th. Well. Well, that's all thoom we tho tho thatha. tho thoo' thooo' thoo' thoooo'a. thooo'a. thooo'a. thoo'a. tho'a go to New Zealand. Do a live episode from New Zealand on the 2nd of January. Should we do that? Yeah, no, you can go, Rob, but I've got school, dates and stuff so it's difficult for you. I've got education to worry about for my children rather than a piss up for your birthday. Wicked. All right then, well, we'll see you on Friday, I think we've got a scary man. It's a scary man. But he was in a... No, I was going to say he was in a good mood, but I wouldn't want to lie. See you on Friday.

See you then.