Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S02 EP12: Two men and a(nother) baby...

Episode Date: March 2, 2021

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL'S02 EP12: Two men and a(nother) baby...There's a HUGE announcement from Josh on this weeks episode. And no, we don't mean the fact that Hackney Council replaced his stolen bin. Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, I'm Josh Riddickham. And I'm Robb. Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell. The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. So in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation. And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing.

Hello and you are listening to lockdown parenting hell with? Okay, Luca, can you say, Rob Beckett parent in hell with. Okay Luca can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. Well done. And can you say Josh Widdickham? Josh Widdickum. Oh, well done mate. Probably one of the most accurate we've ever received, right?

Is that Robbie Williams? That is Kevin Siborski and his son Luca Siborski. Oh my god, I'm swear Harry Rednapp's already signed in for Portsmouth. Lucas Siborsky, what a name! Luke Siborsky would be signed by Arsonvanger, played three games, but then went to Italy and suddenly got amazing. Yeah, or a bond villain, but I don't know if that's my sort of Eastern Europe Hollywood prejudice coming out, that I've just been brought up

what most surnames be in the Baddies. Either way, for a bonvillin or an Arsenal player, his English is superb. How old's Luca? thi. No way! Wow. So I've got a very funny story to start the podcast Rob. Oh good, that's what we're here for, that's our stock and trade. It's an image, it's a funny image. I mean I'd argue we get away with stuff that isn't funny some weeks, you know, just talking about

different pop. Right, we absolutely are stealing a living here. But we're consistent. We know what you're going to get every week. turn up when you're on your walk or whatever you do it or on your drive. We're probably doing something as boring as what we're talking about doing. No one's doing anything interested. Someone gave me grief the other day for I didn't do in those Instagram stories of like that reface app thing. And I was like want? It's a bit of hashtag content, isn't it, Rob? It's a hashtag content, it's keeping, you know, keeping all the Zuckerberg happy. I've got my reach and my impression, I don't even know what that means. No.

Yeah, with my face on Pam Anderson's tits. Well there you go and I imagine she's doing a lot of the heavy lifting there with you reach. I'm sorry Josh what was your story come on give it my friend Magali she has a daughter who's. Magali. Magali. French Roche look at you in East London French. Exactly. So her daughter her daughter daughter is 17, she's autistic, right? And Maggaly, she loves Father Christmas, right? So she... Well, the daughter, the 17-year-old. Yeah. And Magali saw what she got as her mobile phone wallpaper. So she'd just, um, she just Google image, Father Christmas, and put it on her mobile phone without understanding what the actual image was.

So she just thought it was a lovely image of Father Christmas. I'll send it across you now. Okay, cool. Oh my God. Fucking Eldred, that, that is absolutely insane. Do you want to describe what you're looking at? Okay, so, so, obviously, the the the tho' phone, the mobile, the mobile, the mobile, the mobile, the mobile, the mobile, their mobile, their mobile, their mobile, their mobile, their mobile, their mobile, their mobile, their mobile, their mobile, their, their, their, their, their, their, their mobile, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their mobile, their mobile, their mobile, their mobile, their mobile, their mobile, their mobile, their mobile phone, their mobile phone, their mobile phone, their mobile phone, their mobile phone, their mobile phone, their mobile phone, their mobile phone, their mobile phone, their mobile phone, their mobile phone, their phone, their phone, their, their, their phone, theirred, that is absolutely insane. Do you want to describe what you're looking at? Okay, so obviously the 17 year old's autistic and she's googled this and just picked the first one.

So what I'm looking at here is it's a sort of an illustration of Father Christmas's back. And they're all colored in with red and the white and the black belt, and then you sort of see Merry Christmas at the top. And then where his sack to describe to describe to describe to describe the sa sa sa sa sa sa sa sa sa sa sa sa sa sa sa sa sa sa sa to describe to describe to describe to describe to describe to describe to describe to describe to to describe to describe to to describe to to describe to describe to describe to to describe to describe to describe to describe to describe to describe to to to describe what to describe what to to to describe what to to to to to to to to to to to to to describe what to describe what to to describe to to describe to to describe to to to describe the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi.a. tooooooo-s too-s too-s. too-s. too-s. to-s. to- and the white and the black belt and then you sort of see Merry Christmas at the top and then where his sack of presents would be they've cut out of the paper a hole and a gentleman's popped his bollocks through. So this 17 year old girl's got a photo of who we don don't know whose bollocks, pretending to be Father Christmas is back. And bless her, she's probably not aware of this, is she? She's approached obliviously. So they swiftly changed her phone image to one of the family.

One of the family, you can't just pop another pair of bollocks through. A pair of bollocks is a bloodline, doesn't mean it's okay. So they swiftly changed her image to like a nice image of a, I think of her dad and brother. And she didn't really understand why she couldn't have that image. But it is astonishing, isn't it? It's remarkable because it's so subtly disgusting. Yeah. You know, because if you quickly looked at it you just think obviously that's just a sack and you'd be right. Yeah but it's a ball sack isn't it but yeah it's horrible. Have you ever played a game called Cock or Ball? I remember that. Yeah I don't don't think I ever played it but I'm aware of it. It's a bit of a rugby lad sort of thing isn't it. It's very boisterous where if a group. If a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group a group. th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the tha tha tha tha tha tha tha housepile or whatever, one of the lads would grab their genitalia and sort of smush it up and you'd

just see a bit of it and you'd have to guess if it was a knob or bollock. This was surprised you. I wasn't really in with the rugby lads. No, not me neither. I mean I don't really like this and it didn't carry on. And it wasn't like an out word stop doing that it was a bit oh yeah mate I think it's a knob and he wasn't really getting a vibe from it that we that you wanted so it sort of just peated out really. The rugby lads at my uni played a game, you know, they do the initiation and stuff. If I'd been brilliant at rugby, I still don't think I'd have wanted to play rugby. No, I hate all of that boisterousness and that sort of peer pressure and you all have to do

what everyone else does. You know, also we're not really team, you know, as a really team thi. I thrown thin thin thin thin thin thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, I'd thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin, if I'm, if I'm, if I'm, if I'm, if thin, if thr-a But I've got into the university football team at Can I went to Canterbury Union. It wasn't like, Canterbury Christ, just University College. It was ridiculous. I cannot believe they charged me fees, the same fee someone would pay it like Sheffield or Durham to go to what was essentially. It's just a sixthrown. Anyway, I got into that. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it. It's like, it. It's like, it. It's like, it. It's like, it. It's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, like, like, like, can. It's like, can't. It's like, can't like, can't like, can't like, can't like, can't, can't. Can't. Can't. It's like, can't. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, like, It was like the shit like the fifth or sixth team. We weren't quite a high level. But I got into the team. And I was like, yeah, cool. So basically it's like, you're in the team now. It's like pay for $300 and you've got to wear a suit every Monday and Wednesday night

and you've got to go out on the vibe, sports person banter is unacceptably low. And I can't survive in that atmosphere, Josh. No, I know. I can't accept it. To the point where it's so low that when you are having a laugh, they're oblivious, it's happening because they're like, well, I don't get why this is funny because I can't see his cock or ball. Well, we've all heard the Peter Crouchouchch, I's, I's, I's, th, I, th, th, th, th, I, th, I, th, I, th, th, th, I, I's, I's, th, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I's, I's. the, I, I's. the, I, I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, I'm, I'm thi. thi, I'm th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi. th thi. th the, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm joking. I'm joking. No, but I would say though, but that's the thing because I've met a lot of funny footballers and stuff like that. And they are funny, like

Bullard and Crouch are really funny people, but what I would say is though they're treated like Richard Pryor sometimes among sports people, but that's because the base level of sports people is so low that they have got no idea what's going on. yeah the football rugby teams I just couldn't really get on board with I don't want to be sick in a bucket and drink it. Oh no so rugby at uni they had an initiation where they'd be dropped off a mile from Manchester or wherever they the end was down the motorway and they'd be allowed either their pants or their shoes and that's all they'd be allowed the their they'd their they'd be allowed they'd be allowed their they'd be allowed their they'd be allowed their their their th their th th th th th th th th th their the the their their their their their tho. their. tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' their. I' to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be tho' tho' tho' th. th. tho' th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I's their their their their their their their the. the. thea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea' the pants or their shoes and that's all they'd be allowed. How is that going to help you for a scrum? What sort of training method is this? But it's that camaraderie but then I don't really understand because you've got to rely on your team. I think there is a reason for it. It isn't just they're all nothing.

Imagine if when you joined eight out of ten- you've got a run back in the nip. He hasn't got a cock or ball though, has it? He's so efficient, he's had it all removed. It's just a smooth hump so that he can get his suit on quickly for TV records. He's not, he is a man that produces TV. No. But yeah, I know I've never I've never I've never I've never I've never I've never I've never I've never I've never I've never I've never I've never I've never I've never. I've never. I've never. I've never th. I've never th. I've never th. I've never th. I've never th. I've never th. I've never th. I've th. I've th. I've th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. the. the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. to to thrown. the. the. the. the. the. the that happens. No. But yeah, I've never really given into peer pressure. I've always sort of been like, no, I'm not doing that. Which gets you excluded at the start really, but I'd rather not do cock-or-ball. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've drunk up my shoe. Some stuff I will get on board with.

Have you ever done a shoe? No, but I'd be more than happy to be more to to to drink to drink to drink to drink to drink to drink to drink to drink to drink to drink to drink to to drink to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to get to get to to to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to the to the to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to damaging the shoe than I would about. Yeah. The rubber on my converse is going to get corroded by the sugar in this shot. Exactly. I don't want a sticky shoe, Rob. You don't want a sticky shoe. Do you want some exciting news that you already know? But is it exciting to the podcast listeners? Yeah, this is excited news, but should I respond like I don't know?

Yeah, well, why don't you tell the news Rob? No, I can't tell the news? No, I'm... Go on Josh. What's happened this week that you want to talk about? Well, it's not this week, but I have a specific reason I'm slightly annoyed at the world reopening, Rob. Yes, so the world reopens from the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th is th is th th is th is th th th th th the world reopens from April the 12th, but properly sort of May, June the 12th. June 21st is when the world reopens essentially for British people. Yes, so in a way to keep up the content of this podcast, I and my wife are having a second child, Rob. Yes, I know you are, Josh. Very exciting. You're going to have another baby. Yes. And I'm so excited for you, Josh. Are you excited for me, Rob, or are you excited? Because you think this is going to be fucking

hilarious for the next year? You know the answer. I know the answer to that. I'm happy that you're having a kid, but if we weren't doing this podcast, I'd probably give it about a 30-second thought. I'll be like, oh, Josh is having a kid, Lou would go, oh, that's lovely. I think that's a generous amount of time you're allowing them, Rob. Almost immediately, then a few months later, I might send a text, see how you're getting on or whatever, but now now we're doing this podcast because I was the other think thi thi thi.... thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. L. thi. thi. the. to. to. to. toe. to. old right and it is getting to the point now where it is getting a lot lot eat like compared to when they were like one and three it's so much easier to the point now. This isn't helping Rob. Well I'm just saying well but this is what I was saying it's to school all week and then the three-year-old is going to start going to school soon so we've got loads of time back and stuff like that and I was thinking maybe you know once lockdowns over the you know

and the podcast is a bit easier in the back to it won't be much to talk about but now you have just opened the gates of hell and we have got at, at least three to four years left of horror show. And you might even go for a third. You know, no, no, no, no. It's your turn next, Rob, if you want to keep this podcast going, you've got to go in about three years. Do you like what, yeah, exactly. We'll just keep having kids.

Just so we've got fresh content. But no, I'm really excited for you, Josh, because I know you wanted to have a second. And you've had it, it's quite a nice gap as well between the two kids. And it's a lovely summer birth. I'm not gonna lie to you, Rob. Yeah. Let's take it as red, very excited. And to be honest, part of me just wants to get on with it now. Yeah, I mean, I should have rephrased. How is Rose? We should ask this. It's more important rather than how are you? How is Rose?

All right? She is fucking knackered. But don't you know about it? Is that what you tell me? I tell you what, mate? I feel like we've got pregnancy the log hole. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Back to school signals a fresh start for students. New classmates, new teachers, new lessons. Change is in the air. But one thing hasn't changed. The forward government still isn't investing in public schools. Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the supports they

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It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cashback on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings. Not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber one for students. A membership to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. This has been a lot more trying than the first one for her. I've added the words for her there to make clear what I meant by that sentence. Because it's difficult to know whether it's just because it is more difficult or also just the fact there's another child you don't realize at weekends the first time around you were just able to just relax and stuff

like that. Lou found that as well. It's like where you are knackered after a day, you just go, oh, I'm just not going to do any more working on the sofa for an order or takeaway whatever, but there's literally the child there now. So it makes it much more difficult. Although, you know, she's still having a great time I'm taken to to to to to to to take to take to take to take to take to to to take to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their their tie. tip after. tip after. tip after. tip after tip after. tip after tip after tip after tip after tip after tip after their their their their the We're all going on a family trip to the ship, yeah. I've got a dump permit, actually. I'm very excited about that. I might have to start making some bins redundant if this dump trip. You've got 10 bins and a dump permit. I should, before we carry on with the more important discussion of bringing life into the world, I should tie up the bin saga. Oh yes, what's happened with the bins? th. th. th. Bins thu. thu. thu. the bins. the bins. the bins. I the bins. I the the thi. I's the thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thu. I'm thu. I'm thu. I'm thu. I'm thu, I'm thu, I'm thu, I'm thu, I'm thu, I'm thu, I'm thu, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm tot. I'm tot. I'm tote. I'm tote. I'm tote. I'm toda. I'm tote. I'm tote. I'm tum. I'm tum. I'm totthe world I should tie up the bin saga. Oh yeah so what's happened with the bins? So when the bins were being taken away last week they came to get the recycling,

I just thought I'm just going to do it. I went out there and I said to the bin man we haven't got a bin. And our lovely Hackney bin man just said that's fine we'll get you, we'll get you a bin and he just turned up yesterday. No way. Yeah. Oh my God it's like the 40s. Yeah it was amazing. You managed to speak to a representative from the council sorted something out. But he literally he was taking the bin out and he just he said the bin. He said the bin. He said, he haven't got a bin. He said, he he took the bin and then he shouted to the try. the today bin. thin bin. thin bin. thin bin. thin bin. th. thin bin. thin bin. thin bin. thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin the. He he he hea hea to to to he thin to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was the. He was thea. He said. He said he was the the the the the the the the tha. He said he said he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said the number and then he went we'll get you a bin and then it was just there yesterday. Oh wow that is great service Josh so thank you to Hackney Council for that and thank you to my bin man. Yeah and if you do live near Josh please nick that one as well. We've absolutely painted our number on it Rob straight away. Oh yeah no messing so let's so let's get back to the the gender yet or is it going to be to be to be the to be the the the to be the the to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. th. Yes. Yes. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. th. th. th. I. th. I. Yes. Yes. I. Yes. Yes. th. the important news. And do you know the gender yet or is it going to be surprised? Yes. I don't know whether I should say. Should I say? I think I'm fine to say. It's up to you.

Well, because I sort of think it's weird really because it's sort of with our kids, you know, I don't, I just don't do names which I think until they're old enough for want to get their permission to ask if I can and say their name and put them on social media and things like that. But I think gender is fine. Well, I also think it's not going to change before the birth so I can say, Rob, excitingly, particularly considering this podcast, it's a boy. Oh, that's great for content. We've needed that for's a bit you know what it's a bit bird-evy this show it's close to cartoon's like it's finally we can talk about you know I think it'll be interesting finally we can discuss pissing out of a penis exactly you know what I do think that the middle

class white man hasn't had a voice and I think it's the time that we focus on the middle class white man so it's good that you're having a boy Josh. Exactly, exactly. Oh that's exciting. How do you feel about that? A boy I'm pleased I'm excited. Yes. I did ask my daughter yesterday when Plymouth won four-three-nil with a last minute goal

yesterday right. Oh what a time you're having. What a time you're having a kid. Oh, what that, what that, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th. Oh, what th. Oh, what th. Oh, what th. Oh, what th. Oh, what th. Oh, what, what th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th. Oh, that's is is. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, that's that's that's exciting, that's exciting, the that's exciting, thi. Oh, that's exciting, that's exciting, that's exciting, that's that's exciting, that's thi. Oh, th. it's Lincoln as well. It's just absolute 3-0, 3-0, 3-0, for the winter comes at the moment. You've got your bin. You've got a kid. It's crazy. And I said to my daughter, I said, would you like me to take you to the football one day? And she just looked to me and said, no. So, I'm really going to go big to go, I, to go, I, I, to go, I, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to me, to, to, to, to. to. to, to. to. to, to. to. to. to, to. to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to, to, to, the the the the the the the tho, the th th th th thoooo. the th th th th the th th toooooooooooo. too. too. too. tothat's what you've got to do. I mean what's weird is some bloke and it's a bit more of a geysery testosterone sort of alpha response to be like, oh when you said oh you're even if they just see you a party or like gathering and then you've got two guys going, when you're going for the board in like I'm don't. I'm like, I don't, you know, like, I just, I'm not, I really wasn't bothered. I was actually, because we had, I've got four brothers and they've got boys as well.

I was just like, actually I found it quite nice. And it's sort of one step removed from you, isn't it? I also think like, because I was thinking this before having, before we knew, a boy, I was thinking, I quite like the narrative of like, th............ And, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I was, I was, I was th and I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just just just just just just just just just, I was just just just just like, I was just like, I was just just, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I, I, I, I, I, I was a th.. I was a th. I was a th. I'm, I'm a th. thi, I'm a thi, I'm a th... th. thi, I'm a thi, actually, I'm a thi, I'm a thi, actually, I was like, I was like, I was like, I it's a house of women and then there's me. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, exactly. But then to be fair, like it's whatever it is, it's fine and you'll love it. So it doesn't really matter at all. And well, one of the positives of two girls is, oh, swimming, going swimming with, as a family.

Oh, off you go, you three. you're drying there Lou I'll just have a quick steam yeah is that all right and then meet you in the car but I think as well that stems from a thing where older generations be like I'm a bloke I'll go to the pub we go football you're a woman you go to shopping and stuff like that or you go to the treatments but do you know what on a cold winters day I'd much rather go to go and watch a the tapterterterterterterterterterterter. I I I I I I I I I I I I tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi thr-I tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to the thea thea thea thea the the th, of course. Do you know what I mean? I found whenever I used to go and watch a football, my main question before we did anything was like, what you're wearing? What kind of layers you're going for? Because we all know at the football you can either be too or far too cold and it's very difficult to get the layers right of football, but when I had this discussion in the pub pub pub pub pub the pub the pub the pub the pub the pub the pub the pub the pub the pub the pub the the the the the the now hanging out with me rather than the rugby team. So I'm up for discussing these things. Is that cock or ball no, Jila or hoodie? What you wear is? Do you know my, the thing is also,

Rob, it is colder at Plymoth because there's not, games for 25 years. Exactly mate. There's not a sniff of Corona around Home Park. Pemop is pandemic ready. Um, on football. Yep. So when the euros happens and the world it reopens, yes. Everyone's been going mad for this all week, understandably. Yeah, yeah. It is been a a bittersweet announcement for me, Rob. Yes. So when it all the world opens, will you sort of have a three-week-old child essentially? A month old I'd say, maybe four or five weeks. So what would you prefer? Because really, April 12? I prefer the waltz say close to about November, thank you very much. Yeah, right, okay, but would you prefer the baby come a couple of weeks earlier? So would you rather the baby come earlier? So in June the baby's a bit older and easier or comes a few weeks late so you can't come a few weeks late so you can't booze in out of your system late April. No because when

you've got a child that's coming late you can't booze anyway. No because you just in case. So ideally, the childly now about two months ago. Oh yes all the football. Do you. Just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the th. th. the th. the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, now, about two months ago. Oh yes, all the football, do you know what's good though, Josh, you are going to get... But the football, I'm going to get to watch a lot of the football. Exactly, and it's not at the right time. What I would say is, so, it's a bit unfortunate it's not a World Cup that's in like Japan, you could watch all the night games in a feed. That must have been. Someone must have. What's the dream is like a new ball in the start of like the Sydney Olympics? Yeah, oh mate, that's the absolute dream. That is the dream, isn't it? That is. Oh, you're just all night javelin getting into weightlifting. Just because it's on. You're awake and it feels like you're part of the part of something. But that's going to be good the the the the the to be good. You can you can do a lot of the baby stuff. So what are you what are your plans for June 21st?

Well, so when I had our second, when we had our second, well Lou had our second, okay? But she was very young and it was the world. I don't think anyone's spotted that Rob. I think you got away with that. We were like, when she was about four months old. I remember. and granddad in Portsmouth and it was the World Cup and we had like a four-month fold and it was very loud in the garden everyone socializing but it was like proper football on like a proper game was like the semi-final like I can't remember it was and I was like oh let me take the baby in there because you need to sleep and she didn't she was wide away but I was just rocking her in front of the football on the that's what you've got to focus on. That's my big hope. My only worry is like an England game trying to do a bedtime, trying to get the baby down knowing an England game's about to start, that kind of thing.

I think you will just have to say, Rose, you've got to take this. It's England. I think I need to build up a lot of goodwill in the bank the bank the bank the bank the latter stages of the tournament. So at the last World Cup, I want to watch a couple of games, a part of Riley's Sports Bar in Central London by Trafalgar Square, right? Horrific place, but great atmosphere. Yeah, so I went to watch the Columbia game there, which was one of the greatest nights of my life, right? I went mental, it was incredible. And then the next game was Sweden the the the the the the next, the thagh. thininin, I was, I was Sweden, I was Sweden, I was Sweden, I was Sweden, I was Sweden, I was Sweden, I was Sweden, I was Sweden, I was Sweden, th, thin, the the th, the the th, the the th, thin, thin, th, th, the th, th, th, th, th, th, their, th, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the the the the threat, the the the the threat, the the threat, the threat, thirty, threat, their, their, their, right, right, right, right, right, right, rightto look after the kids that day, right? So I had both of them, okay?

So I'd sort of like the three-year-old out of an iPad, and then I had a six-month-old and needed feed it. And I was watching the Sweden game, but actually at one point, poured milk into its ear. Because I wasn't looking, I sort of just found a hole and it had milk for the babies to go. That's not on. While you pour in milk in my ear. That's so it's not okay, but I blame, I blame England.

So where was Lou watching the game? No, she was out for the afternoon. I was trying to say, there's so many after. Come on. Come on. This is a once and two kids in the Sweden game but anyway I went to watch the Croatia one which was quite sad. I'd find it if England win the euros. Oh my god.

It's like God is testing me. That the thing I've wanted my whole life and I'm combined with a baby. You can have to just take a dog out sentence because if England on the euro I would just go Lou I'm back back. the their. their. th. th. th. th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm to just to just to just to just to just th. I'm just th. I'm to just to just to just to just to just th. I'm just just. I'm just just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm the the the the the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm just just just th. I'm just thin. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just just just. I'm just just. I'm just just go, Lou, I'm gone. I'll be back in two days. Feel free to throw this back in my face forever. Whatever you've got planned for me, abuse wise or punishment, let me, I'll take it on the chin. It's a bit like, not like an old school bank robber. You go, look, earn, earn $2 million.

I'll take 15 years. I'm happy for the sentence. I think you just got to do that and I think, I was always sort of, Rose's aware of that and go like, if it is the final of the Euros, I'm not here. Yeah. And I think you just got to be straight up about that. Well, last World Cup we watched games in our garden. So that's fine, but if you're trying to get that I'll be watching the games in the garden but Rose and the baby are going to need to go out? I don't think, I don't think you can send the child out. I think you may need to leave.

Why don't you go to a pub nearby so you're not out the house to, I mean I love the way. You've just told the world you're having a new kid and we've done the th done th done th done the football. The most stereotypical ball. It's not awful, Josh, it's the truth. You cannot like to yourself. This is what people like about us, Rob. We're honest about our concerns. Right, let's, I'm throwing this down now. The birth of your children or England winning the euros, we all know what the better day is. The birth's awful. It's not even near it as a good day. Anyone who says the birth is the best day of their life. They've had a shit life.

Yeah, it is. I mean, we've covered this before, but it is tough, bare minimum for all concerned, including the baby. Where was the rest of your life? Gantonimo Bay? What you're talking about the best day of your life? Anyway, but so that, so all the the they their they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're their they're their their their their their thi thi. thi. that. that. that. I that. I've that. I've that. I've that. I've tho tho tho tho tho that. I've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've than than. We've than. We've than. We've than. We've than. We've that. that. that. that. that. that. that. I've to to toooooooooooooo tooooooooooo toda. I've covered. I've covered. I've covered. I've covered. I've the. I've is we could try and set up a kid-friendly Euro's thing in my garden so you could come to mine and then we could watch it in the garden, because I've got 10 in the garden, but there's kids there ruining it and you can't have a dream. Yeah, it's just difficult, isn't it, Rob?

I'm also worried about June the 21st Rob Cross. I might go out to the... Yeah, well, so at least there's someone I can't be jealous of. There's going to be a point, right? Do you know how many people are going to go to gonna be awful, Rob, that day. It's gonna be Twa Monday. That's what it's gonna be. Well, I've not actually booked anything, but, oh, because there's great games on that day. Ukraine, Austria, North Macedonia, have they split Macedonia in two? I didn't know that. Is there North but North Macedonia can. How shit with the South Macedonians at football?

Was it like you have to have half each? Finland, Belgium, Russia, Denmark. I'll be honest with you, I don't want to watch any of them. But then the next day is an England game. Twenty-second. Czech Republic England at Wemblain State. Yeah, I don't know what you're going to do here, mate. I think you're going to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a terrible to have a terrible to have a terrible their their their their their their their to have a terrible their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thea.o. to have a tea.o.o. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. I to you're going to have a terrible summer and a great one obviously because you're having your beautiful child. It'd be wonderful, it will be magical, but also there'll be WhatsApp groups where I'll be being sent pictures of people absolutely lashed. I'm going to say that's going to be tough. Well I've got an idea, this is what you need to do. You need to before the euros right and when Rose is comfortable leaving the the child maybe book like a spa day or an overnight or there's a good place in Redding called Nirvana Spa right where you drive out and it's like a he's got everything in there that you can spend the day there and then come back it's only a day

thing and then book her stuff like that in and then you go oh I'm gonna just go watch the football next Tuesday yes and then th you the th you th you th you th you th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. th. thus. thus. th. th. th. th. th. th. thus. thi thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. to the. to the. the. the. the. the. tho. the. the. the just go and watch the football next Tuesday. Yes. And then it's okay. She does listen to this podcast, so we'll see how it all goes. I've got it for you. Hey, it'll be really good to see you to the parents, it'll be really good to see you once all the guidelines are lifted. Do you fancy and then just send them options to stay overnight when the England games are on? Yes. th. th. thap. thap. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. the. the. the. the. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thooooooo. tho. the done too long on this? Yeah, because I do need to ask some more questions about having a baby. Yeah, which one I've forgotten everything. I was trying to remember what it's like. And I just don't even, I was, I was thinking like, when do they get into a routine of like, napping? And I thought, I've got no clue. Everything has gone from my mind that I did. I can't remember any of it. I can't remember any of it.

What I would say is, it's easier because your life's already changed to a point, isn't it? It's not like new thing, and you're not really trying to do things. What we did when we had the first one was trying to do things we normally would do, but just with a baby and it just didn't work, right? But now you've accepted you can't, you know, enjoy yourself. I accept my life's over. But what I would say stuff like nap, they don't nap for as as long as the first one did because they. Because they they they they they they they they they, because they, because they, because they, because they, because they, because is harder but because you're more aware of it and used to it it makes it easier. Well you're gonna be more confident right

you're not just constantly panicked. Yes you are gonna be more confident but if you're gonna be more confident but if you're gonna be more confident but with the, you're. If you put this as like a boxer right when you have to fight you're a bit nervous you don't know what you do and even if you've But the second one you've got your skills, you're confident, your Canello, your Mayweather, you're riding high, but you're fighting two boxes at the same time. So that's what I'd say is difficult. So I've got some thoughts on this right? Okay tell me your thoughts. I had forgotten how much babies sleep. Yes. So do you get quite a lot of breaks don't you? Yeah I would say yes because obviously now it's 24-7 well not 24-7. I think you need to go to a doctor if

she's awake all night. They do sleep quite a lot I think but I think what happens is though it's that kind of thing where that bit's quite easy but then the the eldest gets a bit jealous and then theylapes it never marries up so they do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. their. their. their. th is is is is. th is. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I's is thi. I's is thi. I's is thi. I's is thi. I I I I I's is is is is is is thi. I I I's is is is is th. I's is th. I's is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. to to to to to to thi. to to to to to theee. to theeeeeeeee. theeee. the. thi. the thi. thi. th happens is it never marries up so they do sleep but then when they're sleeping the other one will be awake or something so if you're lucky it might be that it's impossible to sort of match it all up but they do yeah they are but it's stuff like when they start teeving and you can't explain to them while they're yeah yeah it'll be fine it'll be fine it thi what bits are you looking you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th that's th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that's thi that I'm going to be going through. Right, okay. So, I think it's gonna be tiredness. Because you wear it on your face and sleeve tired. Yeah, I do. You know if Josh Winnock's tired. You know what I mean?

You could tell. Also, my daughter, she would scream for about three hours, before going to sleep. Yes. But when she went to sleep, she was always doing five and a half, six hours from the off. That's good. That was good. So I never had that two hour, two hour, two hour thing that some people go through. Yeah, I'd say the first bit's knackering because you're just exhausted, right?

But it isn't actually that hard because they're, oh, are they okay? But now you sort of go, just do shifts and go, you make sure you get sleep and I'll do the night shift. Where before, I'd be doing the night shift and Lou would be over my shoulder, going, oh, is she okay? Because you worry more about the first one. The reality is they're fine. So I think that have got like a kid three days older and yours and go, well, as I'm, you know, a more experienced parent, yeah, knock off.

But what I found hardest and I only can speak from a personal experience is when they're like one to 18 months where they can walk around and they wanna explore stuff, but they have got no ability to do it. You know, so they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoooooooooooooooooom., thoooooooooooooooooomeree., the to to to to to to to to to to toldlde You know so they keep falling over, they run into stuff, they can't really communicate so they get frustrated, they climb stuff, and you know you've got to be on and then the older one goes yeah come and do this with me so you've got to be like hawk-hire the whole time. But when they're a baby they just sit don't they play and play and earlier when they're like six months old because all they do is sit in the pram and one of you can play with the other one,

but when they get to about one and they're just tottering around but they're not really upright, that's when it's like you constantly got. And because you're so relaxed because you've got an older one. You go to a part now, you just let a run off, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don'told, you're like, oh my god, and you're trying to watch two at once. That's what I find hardest, when you're in your own and you've got to watch two at once. So your point is that the start is actually not the difficult bit. No, no, you're tired, but it's not hard. It's not like, it's tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. th. th. their. th. their. th. th. th. their. th. their. th. their. their. their. their. to. their. to. their. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the the the the the the the start. the start. the start. the start. the start. the start. the start. the start. the start. the start. the start. the start. the start. the start......................... the start, the start, the start, the start. the start. the start. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the to. the the the start. the start. the start. the start. together and then they just they can just go in the swings together or whatever it is you're not on it but there's a six-month period where you are like sort of like a mere cat you're a spotter

oh my word it's it's very exciting I'm very excited but it is that thing of it is so unknown do you know what I mean oh yeah here's something Rob yeah I think the worst phrase in the English language is, are you looking forward to meeting him? Oh, fuck off. Awful, awful, awful. Yeah, in 37 years time when he's finally found out who he is. Yeah, meeting him, I've wiped his ass, mate.

I'd be looking forward to meeting Paul McCartney. You probably have to start wiping his ass soon, you know. But if the baby was born, like you don't like, here's your baby, shake his hand, good to meet you. It makes my skin crawl. That first. Yeah, exactly. The problem is most people have kids and most people are cringy assholes,

don't they? Do you mean, most people are awkward and a bit like, ugh, they get away from me. Whereas we're the kind of people that on the announcement someone's having a baby, talk for 20 minutes about how we're gonna go and watch the euros. Right, people like this because we are honest, Josh. Okay, how would I would not be listening to this ifto meet him, oh my god. Oh, do you reckon a little hair? Lots of hair like you? Ha!

Shut up, you're boring. Just because it is something beautiful, doesn't mean you have to be so gushing about it. You're allowed to not care about something so important. Um, anyway, so what will do you do? We'll follow my emotional journey through this. You reckon you'll get in the newspaper? Do you reckon this will get the man online?

What? Whittakum's going to struggle to watch Euros 2020? I've got, I don't want to steal your baby announcement thunder, but I need a new desk. I need a new chair and I'm thinking about getting one of those angled things you put your laptop in so you don't hurt your neck. Oh, you've been doing too much stiff necking? I'm not a stiff necker, I'm a stoop necker. I'm stooping. I'm getting a little hunch from sort of hunched over.

Are you working on your laptop? Rob? What you need, what you need to buy a proper computer like you're in an office. You can't do that can you? Is that what you need? Yeah. I can't buy another computer? You're earning? This is like the weirdest GP ever. I've got a bad neck by a desktop. I can sort that have you two grand, new laptop, new computer. You can't, you can't hunt over laptop Rob. That's how I'm writing my book. You're getting going to get a stiff neck. Fuck! And I need it, yeah, because even if I had the chair, it's the laptop's the problem, isn't it? It's the laptop that's the problem.

Oh shit. Oh my god, I'm becoming a stiff neck. You're going to become, Rob, you're go that far. No, I'm not insane mate. Write it down, you're mental. What's that? Your tours coming up? You've rescheduled dates. You haven't done it in two years. What's your show? It's in there, mate. Somewhere in the old canister. Mate, I'm dreading. The tour returning in autumn, I need to do, I need to heavily think about this. He's got a newborn, bring it on. Oh my word. Oh my word. That would be great. I might come to one of your first ones. But we'll do warm up gigs and we'll do warm up gigs. We'll do warm up gigs.

Speaking as someone who suffers from a stiff neck, you've got two options here. Yeah. You don't need a new desk or new chair. Have you got a office chair? No, I haven't Ithe problem. The problem is. It's not an office chair. It's like it's actually one that you'd have like in the corner of like a boutique hotel chair. Right, right. Yeah, you do need to change that. But mostly you need to be looking straight ahead. Like you're driving. I'm not. At the moment I'm looking down like I'm talking to a dog. You're going to need to get your screen up to to to to to to to to to to get your to to get your screen up up to to to to to to to to to the screen to to to the screen to get your screen to to to get your to to get a to to to to to to to to to talk to talk to to to too tooometeak. tooomkoomkoomkoomkoomkoomkoomkoomko to talk. to talk. to talk. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tooceteaketeaketea. the toocetea. tooe coutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutout. to a to a too too too too too to eye height. So it's amazing that the change of roles, you're getting a stiff neck and I'm getting a second child. I know it's insane, isn't it? It's obvious

who's having more sex. We're slowly turning into each other. Yeah, we are, aren't we? We're morphing into one. Oh, can I ask one more question on the, uh, having another kid's thing. Yeah, go for it. I don't th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. th. th. th. th. th. I don't. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. It's th. It's thin. It's thin. It's th. thin. th. th. thin. th. th. thin. th. th. thin. It's th. It's th. It's very excited about it. Yes, but I'm not kidding myself that that means that she's going to take it well when the child is born. Does she know it's a boy? Yeah, because I think sometimes I like when we mention having another kid or something they'll go as long as it's a girl or you know something like that so if she knows that's quite a good but I think you need to get a present so when he first comes home he brings a present. Yeah and what's it like in those first couple of months? What's the older child's role like? Do they? To be fair they like, well she was a younger ours when because there's only a two-year gap.

What would be a four-year gap or three-year gap? Oh so not much in it? But yeah we let her a whole holder and she really liked it and stuff and to be fair she sort of just busied around because the kid doesn't do anything for the first six months it's just in a cot or in a prim so she was sort of, it was almost like having just taken like an inanimate object around with you because the baby doesn't do anything. But then when she got a bit older she was like engaging and stuff and then they start try to play with them when they're a bit too too. too. too. too. too. too. the too. too. too. the too. to play. they. they. to play. to play. to play. they. they. to play. It was. It was just. It's to play. It's to play. It's to play. It's to play in a their. It's like, their. It's like, to to to to to their. It was just. It was just. It was just. It. It was in a their. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's just. It's a try. It's just just just just just just just just a try. It's a tot. It's just a tot. It's just just a tot. It's just just just a much jealousy over the time constraints of the mother? Not no, not particularly because we sort of split, we split it sort of quite well and we made sure that she was doing things and we were like taking her out for trips. So she sort of got special days of like mommy or daddy days where we'd take her out rather than try and try and try not rather try and try. Rather than try. thrying thrying thrying thrying thrying thrying thrying thrying thrying thr-wee. We's thr-wee. We's thr-wee, thr-wee, thr-wee, we'd just, we'd just, we'd just, we'd just, we'd just, we'd just, we'd just, we'd just, thr-we'll just, we'd just, we'd just, we'd just, we'd thr-wee, we'd thr-wee, we'd th. We's th. We's thr-s, we sort, we sort, we'd-s, we sort, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, th, th, th, th, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s thr-s thr-s to to to to to split, thr-s to split, to split, thr-s thr-s to-s to-s thr-s thr-s thr-s thr-s th. So she had some special attention time and stuff. But yeah, she was, I think it's because she was already

at nursery, which was good. No, she wasn't at nursery. We delayed nursery because we didn't want to start nursery. Because I think it's quite good that she goes to nursery. Because then that's her place she goes. We were worried about, you know, she was due. the second one was born so we didn't want to go right new babies here off you go to somewhere alien.

So I think it's quite good that she has her nursery and on those days when she's not you can do things with her and stuff. Yeah, I think it'd be fine. If people want to send in your top tips stroke biggest cock-ups you made at the start of having a second child. Yeah, I don't want some self-righteous dickheads going no no no to me so what we want is not horror stories yeah horror stories not like no no no a true crime one no exactly not I'm not aga for christian my evil eldest kid story none of that but yeah anytime that's gone wrong be great I do I do have I don't know if you want them now but I've got a couple of a low moments in to the the the the the the the the the the the the to to the the to the to the to the to the to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the the the the the the the try. true. the true. true. the true. the true. the tr if you want them now. Yeah, let's do them do them now, but I've got a couple of low moments in lockdown stories.

Should we do those that have come in on Instagram? Yeah. I'm a big fan of these. So this one is from Jessica Hodgson. Said, hi, Rob and Josh. It's dragging me through this weird time in history. I have a lockdown low point for you, we had our third baby in November 2019. So when the first stock down here, we're in the middle of sleepless nights breastfeeding, Poonanis and the list goes on. Poonanis, oh yeah, they're

the mental poos that go out there back. Oh my god, yeah. You forgot about them, didn't you? Yeah. They're coming boy, there's big tarry yellow ones. So many things that I was thinking the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other thoinginginging. I the other thi o' thi o' thinin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thi' thi' thin' thin' thin' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' the list, and the list, and the list, and the list, and the list, and the list, and the list, and the list, and the list, and thi, and thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' th. P' p' thin' thinking the other day about that weird bit that hangs off the belly button for the first week. Oh yeah I completely forgotten about that. We lost it. It was off and I was changing it's gone. I went I did it fall off after you take you it? No I haven't had it we couldn't find it anyway we did the wash in we found it in a baby grow. Oh my god I'm gonna be honest with you. that was one of the bits. I the bits. I the bits. I the bits. I the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I was going. I was going. I'm th. I'm th. I'm gonna. I'm gonna th. I'm gonna f. I'm gonna f. I'm gonna f. I'm gonna f. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm completely. I'm completely. I'm completely. I'm completely. I'm not. I'm completely. I'm completely. I'm completely. I'm not. I'm completely. I'm completely. I'm completely. I'm completely. I'm not. I'm completely. I'm not. I'm not. I'm. I'm not. I'm. I'm. I'm not. I'm gonna be honest with you. That was one of the bits I didn't find particularly magical. It's so medical the first few weeks. You don't realize it. And then like if they don't do a poo for a couple of days, oh my god, they've not done a poo and you like they'll shit eventually.

Oh my god, all this constant bloody rashes. Right. Putting a glass on a rash for six months. Oh, that fucking that eating my flowers. I don't remember that. I'm sorry. I got distracted No, no, he's just fat bastard pigeon that just any time anything flowers in the garden eats it. I know I didn't know a pigeon would eat a leaf. Sorry, here we go. Anyway, so Poonani's. This Jessica's low point, because they've got three kids all very young. Anyway, my husband decided that for something to do in lockdown and liven up the dinner rotor, we'd eat food from a different country

that the kids chose each week and he'd made it from scratch. This was both cunning and slide because he made a three-course meal each time, various preparation layers basically secure him four to five hours of I'm busy. Can you keep the kids at the kitchen time each week? Plus that I'm planning, insert country name here, dinner, can you give me half hour? Right. So the kids obviously hated everything he made as it wasn't chicken nuggets and cheese. Yeah, of course.

And after I'd been lumped with the kids for most of the day, I was hoping every piece of paper he tucke would give him a paper cut. Quite petty, but I can understand how you feel. Two, three children in lockdown. He picked up on the very subtle, keep leaving me with the kids and I'll murder you in your sleep vibes and asked if I'd like to prep cook that week's. Yes, please. So I selected my recipes, did the online shop, jobs are gooden. Obviously she's very tired and stressed at this point. She's selling the three kids. One new one, lockdown. Delivery day and I'm somewhat tied as for whatever reason all three kids have decided that the night before they would not sleep at all.

Shopping arrives. I put bits and pieces away. I get to one of the ingredients I've got in for my Madagascan meal. Oh my God, come on mate. Some of the special vinegar and so they've ordered this some kind of special Madagascan vinegar, okay? And that's just one of those things where, you know when you cook a meal, yeah. And you think, this is good because I'm cooking a meal. It's not a takeaway. I'm cooking this elaborate meal from a country that doesn't have the same ingredients as us. Yeah, and you spend three times as much money. Yeah, because you need a teaspoon of Madagascan vinegar. I know also, to be fair, the only thing the Madagascans can do in my knowledge is vanilla, that's all I've ever heard. I've never heard of anything else from Madagascar. No, I didn't know it was a chosen cuisine, but let's see how she does. Anyway, so she's doing this Madagascar meal and she's ordered this special Madagascar

vinegar. And it's not one of our usual groceries we've had, so there's no designated storage space in any cupards for Madagascan vinegar. This was clearly too much from my brain to handle. Q tears and tantrum as a fully grown mother of three, I sat in the middle of my kitchen for crying, clutching vinegar. Sub into my utterly amused husband that there's nowhere for the vinegar to live. Oh God. It's so funny because it's obviously so pointless but at that moment it becomes something so deep. You can just imagine that absolute moment of complete kind of just everything's become too much.

Does she say how the meal went? I don't think they did it. I've got one I've got one more here as well from Karina. Hi Rob and Josh just finished listening to Friday's episode where you discuss motion sensor lights. Unbeknown to us, when we bought it, our current home has motion sensor lights in our bathroom. Initially we threw it one parenting and come across the best hack ever as the motion sensor meant our toddler could go to the toilet at night or early morning without us having to leave the landing light on permanently. As the bathroom nights come on as you step onto the landing. All was well and good until the night our son needed a number two. He'd been sat on the toilet for so long that he was plunging to darkness and screened the house down. The scream was a type that makes your blood run gold and it left me with heart palpitations.

Needless to say the motion sensor lights quickly came off our winning at Life List. Love the podcast gives me a laugh on even my lowest dates. Thank you, Karina. I mean, yeah, have you ever been plunging to darkness? I hate those motion sensor lights in public toilets. Oh my god, it's awful, is it? And when they're outside of the cubicle and you're basically sat on the toilet, swinging your arms around. I was. I once took a jumper off and swag it around my head like I was at a concert. This guy's really getting this one out. Lovely stuff that was. I'm so excited for you.

I am. I am genuinely I'm very excited and yes. I just kind of looking th. I'm you you th th th th th th th th th th to th th to to th th th to th to to th th th th th thing thing your thing your thing your thing your thing your thing your thing your to thin, I'm just swinging to swing, I'm swinging to swing, I'm swinging you're swinging you're like, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, thi thi thi thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's the the thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thin, swinging, swinging, swinging, swinging, Josh, I'm so excited for you. This is Kenne, Rose and your daughter. I am, genuinely. I'm very excited. And I just kind of looking forward to it. But the last bit of the pregnancy is slow, isn't it? I would say, say to Rose, why don't you do the nights? And then I'll do the days and you can sleep in, and then you just have the football football football football football football football football football football football for your daughter. That is how I'd approach the whole month of June.

Well, we'll see how it goes. Do you know, there must be some people who, at moments of very important sporting events, there must be some sports fans. There are people giving birth at those moments. Or did you, like, did you miss you miss like the comeback at Istanbul because you were doing a night feed or did you miss Murray when would win when in Wimbledon because you're you needed to change a napi there must have been huge like huge moments of sporting things that you've missed when is your kid taking you away from a moment of sporting glory yeah

yeah or when did you miss a wedding ceremony? Because your kid went mental or something. I love the kid going mental at a wedding ceremony. It's my absolute favorite. You know why I love it? Because children are truth and everyone in there is going to fucking get on it! I want to have to eat and drink, come on.

But kids don't have that social pressure to not say that. Exactly. Do you know what we're going to do on Friday, Rob? What are you going to do? We're going to open one of those presents that Rose hasn't sent to our cousins. Yes! She's not done it. Not done it. I've got a text from the cousin last night. Yeah. He said that you can't wait to hear Friday then Josh for the present. See you Friday. See it later people.