Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S02 EP19: Tom Parry

Episode Date: March 26, 2021

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' S02 EP19: Tom ParryJoining us in the studio this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) during the lockdown and beyond is the brilliant comedian, actor, writer, and director, Tom Parry. Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Looking for a collaborator for your career, a strong ally to support your next level success, you will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue. York you.C.A. What does Possible sound like for your business? It's more cash on hand to grow with up to 55 interest-free days. Redefine possible with Business Platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and Commissions Apply. Visit MX. C. A.S.A.

Hello, I'm Josh Riddickham. And I'm Robb. Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell. The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. So in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation. And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing.

Hello you are listening to lockdown parenting hell with Rob, Beckett and Josh Gwynnosed. There you go. That is Stanley. His parents, you may remember Rob, friends of the show, were the parents who failed to clean their munchkin 360. Oh, yep, any new listeners, check that munchkin out. Check your munchkin out, you can clean them. Stan is now one and a half, and Rob, you'll be distraught to know that that is a video and he's wearing a Barcelona kit. Oh, I'm jealous.

Tulled their them around on a pub crawl. Did you? Yeah, because I've got them on the pub crawls. I thought I won't go back past that shop. You know, like when you're pissed and you have to remember something and you really cradle it. Because you know that you will just forget it. I reckon I've lost every umbrella of ever taken. to to to to to to to to to the umbrella. Oh, an umbrella is a complete write-off. Give it up. It's just not possible. Just launch it.

As soon as it stops raining, pick it up and launch it into the road. Yeah, not a hope. What's that? What's your week being like, Josh? Yeah, fine. Fine. Enjoyed filling in my census. Oh, look, Lou, at that going what the hell was

that? Well, do you know what's funny? I was tempted just to completely lie in the census so that! But I didn't Lou did it because she's sensible. Um, I've got big news from nursery, Rob. Oh yeah, go on. Can we get some sexy music underneath, please? You can't have sexy music for the nursery, mate. You can, because it's news about Surin.

Oh, thank God. Seren, the absolutely hot nursery worker. Yeah, the hot French the the thuuuuuuuuuuuuu th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the' the, the the' the' the' the' the tho tho- tho- th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th. th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean the the the the about Saran. Oh, thank God. Saran, the absolutely hot nursery worker. Yeah, the hot French guy. Do you think he could get any hotter? Well, dear parents, this was the email I received on Wednesday, and writing to let you know that very sadly, our lovely Saran is going to be spreading his wings and flying the nest soon. Seren, this is unbelievable, has been head-hunted by an independent- by- by- by- to- to- to- th- th- th- th- the- thine- thine-in-in- thine- thine- thine- thine-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s, the-an, this is unbelievable, has been head-hunted by an independent skate school and offered

a position as a freelance skateboarding teacher working with young children in Hackney. Oh my God, I mean that's a dream job for Seren, isn't it? So he's a skateboarding teacher? He's been head-hunted. He's now a skateboarding teacher to children in Hackney. He's the dream man. What is the demand for a skateboarding teacher in Hackney? Well, enough for that he's quit this job. Wow, good luck to him.

Could be the next Tony Hawk? I watched a documentary on Tony Hawk on Saturday night. Yeah, everything okay, you're right. What happened to the blur one? Where out the tape? No, we wanted to watch the documentary. Wait, you watched the Rose? Yeah, she used to work in a skate shop when she was younger, so she had a vested interest. Did you like Jackass? Did you watch Jackass together? I love Jackass. She used to go out with Steve O actually. No, Joe did, Stacey Solomon. What?

Stacey Sullivan met Stivo on the jump and they dated for about a year. And then she got off with Joe Swash. What a double. Wow. Wow. Wow. Stivo is going to make absolute mincemeat of her cupboards.

All her assorted cupboards. Oh, no. You imagine Stivo seeing seeing a a the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho is tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. to. to. toe. toe. toe. toeeeeat. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. a peg. It'd call them potato chips anyway, but he wouldn't suffer that. I once watched one where he was in a buggy going across a bumpy desert or field or whatever, having a tattoo. That's not the kind of guy that's gonna respect a jar with spaghetti written on it. He'll put pen-a in there.

I watched a documentary on Tony Hawk. I thought, well, that's a coincidence, the the the the thi, thi, I'm, thi, thi, thi, I'm, thi, thi, thi, top, I'm, I'm, top-a, top-a, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm top-a, I'm top-a, I'm too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, to, to, to, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, th. th. th. th. th. too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too. too. too. too. too'a. too'er. too'er. too. too. tooooo. too. too, too, too, I had nothing on it, Rob. It just came out, you said Tony Hawk. I thought, well, that's a coincidence. Yeah, I like, I used to play the computer game. He kept using the word rad and he's in his 50s. I thought that was unacceptable. Yeah, I mean, I think he a snack box thing, and we put in it like an innocent smoothie and like a little pack of like biscuit-y things that aren't proper biscuits, but like healthy biscuits. Anyway, she keeps coming back and she's not eating them, and she's not eating them, and she's not, eating them, and she's not eating them, and she's not eating that? You're not hungry at break time. She went, I am, but I just can't open it. And she's not been able to open the food or put,

and she's not allowed to ask her friends to help because of COVID or the teachers. Oh my God, oh that is heartbreaking. I know, but bless her, but I'm sure she'll be fine. things where the kid goes oh yeah I can open it and doesn't think about it ever again but as a parent you're like weeping inside and start thinking about how can I break in so I can open that straw in earth's movie? Oh that's heartbreaking Rob. I know better. Do you want some emails? Yeah but how to help Josh with his naming dilemma? Firstly excellent job with the podcast I count down the days to each new show. And as a new dad, I have a seven-month-old twins,

it's keeping me just about saying. Oh my God, Jesus Christ, mate. Well, so you know, every episode, the kids will be a week older. Do you know what I mean? So it's like, you're just getting through it. But I don't think you should get through it. I've looked to a a photo a photo a photo a photo. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I've a photo. I've a photo. I've. I've a photo. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to the the the the the the the th. the the th. the the th. the the the. the the the. the the the the. the the the the the. the. the. the thr. the. tooo. to to to the. to day whatsoever. I look like I've been kidnapped. I, it's like, it's PTSD. With a kid on the horizon, Rob, I keep thinking back to like, so what was it?

And I have no memory of that first period. I remember the colic, I remember the screaming, and listening to Mello Magic, the late night magic radio station. Yeah, trying to get her to stop screaming, which might have been the problem in the first place. The problem is you won't have this podcast to listen to. I won't have this podcast to listen to this rather magic. I am. And they'll hear about it all going wrong for you, but you're just constantly going to go wrong for you and you talk about it going to be like over the summer. I cannot fucking wait. You know like when a band's

released one good album and then you hear that the second album is actually better. That's what that's the summer we're heading into. We've released our this podcast has done it's one good year but I get the feeling touch wood that it is about to enter absolute carnage for me which will be. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I the. I'm tho. I can't th to th th th th th th th th tho. I can't thu. I can't th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to. I to to to to toy toy toy. toy. tou toy to toy toy toy to toy toy toy. toy. toy. the feeling, touch wood, that it is about to enter absolute carnage for me, which will be entertaining. And I am praying for the hottest summer on record, coupled with replacement parts for air conditioning units to be stuck in a customs nightmare at Calais. I'm, I've decided I'm going to record lots of voice notes as it's going on because I'm not sure I'm going to remember it all.

So each Tuesday and Friday I'll just play some voice notes to try and rebuild my week in front of you. Yes. And then we can work through it and see how we can help. Yeah. So we're going with the name situation? This is Guy with a new baby. My wife and my wife had the same, to work, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm to to to to to th. tho, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I, I I I I I I I I I I I I, I, I I I, I I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th... I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. to t. t. to. to. to.e. t t to.a.e.a.a.a. t t t t t to. too. th. th. elf and my wife had the same arguments before the arrival of mine. We haven't had any arguments, thank you very much. My wife discovered an app called Kinder,

which is basically Tinder for baby names. Well that's spelt like the egg. Yeah, it spelt like the egg. Okay. We downloaded it each and linked our profiles. It creates a list of names from all of your match likes. Oh, that's good. That's nice, isn't it? Yeah. And then it's not a discussion, it's just totally separate thinking. Because what I'd worry about the modern world, Rob, is that there's too much chatting and not enough time spent on phones.

So it's great to take this beautiful moment away. Yeah, forget toing together just to communicate online. Yeah and then why don't we bring the if there's an app which we could bring the baby up with that would be ideal as well. Yeah there's an app that could take my wife to dinner that'd be great. Let's clarify isn't Tinder for kids. It's not tinder for kids. It's Kinder that it's Tinder for kids. I just want to make it clear that you're not to make clear to make clear their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to their their to to their to to to to to to to tip to tip tip to tip today. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip their their their their their their their their their their their tha. That's tha. tha. That's tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. today. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. today. today. today. today. today into the DMs of children to hook up for a walk. That is not what we're going for. We just want to get the names nailed down, isn't it, Josh? Yes, that is a hundred percent. Just make that very clear. Yeah. Okay, hi Josh and Rob, love the podcast. I thought I'd let you know we picked our baby names. During lockdown we found out we're expecting babies. yes babies, twins, identical. Oh my God. We often struggle to agree on names.

Almost all of mine got thrown out early doors using the veto rule, Milo and Casper, as did his girl suggestions, Chelsea after his football team. No way. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, thank you. Milo and Casper sounds a bit like, you know when the World Cup of the Olympics has mascots and they're like weird little cartoon character. It sounds like they and one's a running spike and one's the track and then Iglai's down and the other Milo runs over Casper.

My husband is so certain that the babies are going to be boys that he doubles down. I get to choose the girl's names. Wow that is, that is a high risk risk the the the thaeris thiiiiiiiiiiii risk thi risk thi risk thi risk thi thi thi thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I's thi. I thi. I thi. I's thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. I to. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. I get to choose the girl's names, he gets to choose the boys' names. Wow, that is a high-risk game. I don't think you've got to have something you're both happy with. I don't think you can be gambling. Scan day comes. I asked the scan technician to write down the genders because lockdown means I'm alone. We open the envelope at home. It's two girls. Obviously, my husband then wanted to open a second round of negotiations. Of course he did. Article 50s, drop mate, gutted. Terrize, mate, crying, handed in her resignation. I fucked it. I had already ordered personalized hats with their names on just in case they were girls. Oh, so what did they go for?

Very nice names, Poppy and Violet with the names. Poppy and Violet's much nicer. Milo and Casper sound like a pair of annoying YouTube twats. Hey, Milo and Casper here, so I've got this great new drone, and let's see how far we can fly before it crashed into the sea. Shut up, Milo. Back to school signals a fresh start for students. New classmates, new teachers, new lessons. Change is in the air. But one thing hasn't changed.

The forward government still isn't investing in public schools. Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the supports they need. They can't wait another year. If the forward government won't change, it's time to change the government. Our kids are counting on us. Join us at Building Better Schools. C.A. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber one for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cashback on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think

university is for. Get Uber won for students, a membership to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. I've got a question here as well. When we picked our names, we picked them before the child was born. Are you doing that or are you going to wait till to see the baby, Josh? We are going to do that. That doesn't imply that we've moved any closer to it in recent weeks. I want to know, as anyone decided the baby's name once the baby's been born and then regretted it,

because of that moment, the woman's obviously exhausted and isn't thinking, right? She's flooded with pain and hormones and sometimes gas and air or epidurals, you know, that is not a great, like, if you're making a decision on something, if you took away the fact the fact the fact the fact the fact the fact the fact, the fact, the fact, the fact, the fact, the fact, the fact, the the the the the the to, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, to, to, too, the to, to, to, to, to..... the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the too....... toe. too. tooomorrow, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, is. tooomorrow, is. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to. the the took away the fact that a child was being born and you felt like you did after giving birth and someone said, what do you want for dinner tonight? You go, oh, leave it out, I can't think now. But for some reason you pick the most important decision of your life in that moment. So if people must have regretted the names they gave their kid and then did they keep it with regret or did they change the name like a week after??..... their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. they. they. they. they're. they're they're they're. they're. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I. I I I. I. I I. I. I. I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm try. I'm tode. I'm today. I'm today. I'm today. I'm today. today. today. today. I'm try.thinking straight surely Josh. No I agree I think I want to get it done Rob

I'm a doer. You're an efficiency guy get it ticked off yeah because the baby doesn't look like a thing when they when they're born it doesn't matter like I'd love to get emails in longest you know people who've gone without the name I'm I know people that have gone two weeks. Two weeks, that's a long old time. Yeah, I just, I just want to get on with it then. No, just name it. Let's go.

Let's keep this moving. Josh, it's time for our guest. It's the one and only Tom Parody. We recorded this one a while ago, Rob, but we had some technical problems with my record, which we finally fixed. Yes. So this, which is, it's been like gutting because it's genuinely been, it was one of the best interviews we've ever done. It's absolutely brilliant. I'd say it's my favorite because it's a real moment in time interview where Tom's child's very, very young, and this is Tom Parry, and he's brilliant and so energetic and funny anyway, Tom, but also they are so deep in the early

stages of a new first child where they're doing mad things through the night. And you'll hear his schedule in a minute, but I loved it because it really, and he thinks his life's normal, but it will look back and realize how insane his schedule is, but it is so refreshing hearing someone think what they're doing is fine. We've got a lot of people that I want to rebook to see how it's getting on. Yes, and Tom would be right at the top of this. I wonder whether when we, when do we turn a year old? Maybe we should do a few anniversary recapture. Yes, because I think we need to speak to to Daisy May Cooper again. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to has two children now which will be great especially for you with your second on the way. Oh yeah, and I think we need to speak to Alice and Izzy. Yeah, if there's anyone else you think we should check in on, let us know.

But we've, um, this is a great this Tom Perry and we've got some other great ones in the can so yeah, so yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. Yeah, th. Yeah, to th. Yeah, th. Yeah, to th. Yeah, th. Yeah, faves. Hello, Tom Perry. Hey, dude, how you doing? Good, how are you? Well, am I the newest pairing you've had on? I'm six weeks into being a parent. Oh, yes, you are. Yeah, so here I have, I haven't listened. I haven't listened to the podcast,

because I have just been come a parent. So yeah, I've just come off my night shift at. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th... the the, the the thea, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the've just come off my I've got a night shift at the moment so I had I've got six week old daughter. I had until five and then I woke up about half an hour ago so this feels like it feels like it's eight o'clock in the morning for me. Right now. So what are you doing in the early hours of the morning for those night films? Oh I did the Tom Hank's Da Vincico trilogy. Absolutely scraping the bell. The first, I don't know, I don't know if you guys were the same, but like when when my daughter's called Gloria, when she first came along, I was like, I'm going to watch all the best films with you, I'm going to talk you through all the best films. It's going to be like rediscovering cinema. So I sat for the first week watching my favorite films, but by now I've just ran out of films to show her. So it's just any old shit or stick any old shit. So what's Gloria doing when you're watching these films?

She wakes up. She sleeps. the thinks. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thinks. thinks. thinks. thinks. thinks. thinks. thinks. thinks. thinks. thinks. thinks. thinks. thinks. thoom's thoom's like, like, like, like, like. thi's thoom's the the the the the the the their their their thoom. thoom. thoom. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the th. I I I I I's th. I's th. I's th. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's th thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes. So. So. I'm just just just. I's the the the moment. And it's like, and it's like we can put her in this, we've got this beside me cot and we can put her in that, but we get less, like Jane gets less sleep because she's up and down. So instead, like I get a bit, I get three hours kip in the evening and then I kind of get into this like night shift. And then like every three or four hours I take take take take take take take take take take tak tak tak, I tak, I tak, I tak, I tak, I tak, I tak, I tak, I tak, I th, I th, I th, I th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th........ Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, to. Like, th. Like, to. Like, th. Like, to. Like, th. Like, th. Like, like, like, like, three or four hours I take her up for a feed and come back down. But I am absolutely loving it. I feel like a student again because it's like I'm just staying up all night. You can eat whatever you like and watched. It's like four o'clock in the morning and you're like I'm gonna bang on a Kevin Costner

film. You just think I haven't done this since university. Oh, absolutely loving it. Right let's be clear, what hours are you keeping? I want to know your shift pattern. Like about half, ten, eleven, till five. That's kind of the shift on. So I get three hours before that. I go to bed at about seven. Get as much sleep as I can in the evening.

Then I get up about ten, then I'm on the mic shift. I'd try and get through to five. Yeah. How are you so happy? Oh man, I'm so sleep deprived. I feel like I'm on drugs. I feel like it's the final day of Glastonbury. It's just like every day it's got like this gentle hum to it where I feel like I'm like slightly buzzing off my face. Because just haven't had any sleep it's amazing. And then the other thing I do is I watch BT Sports. I really want to work on a

show that's like new dad sport report because I ended up watching the other day I cried at an Australian rules football game I didn't know who was playing I didn't know who was playing but it was just like I don't know the rules the rules the rules the rules the rules the rules the rules the rules the rules the rules the rules the rules the rules the rules the rules the rules the rules the rules the rules the rules the rules the rules the rules the rules the rules the the the the the the the the th th of th of the the the thi thi. It's th. It's th. It's th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm the. the. the. thee. their their their their their theeeeeeee. the. the. the. the. I's't know who was playing but it was just like, I don't know the rules of the game. It was like there was like a last minute win and it was just like oh wow the magic of sport glow. Gloria this is what life sports all about it's just like I didn't have a fucking clear what was going on. It's amazing. It's amazing. When she sleeps, she's just fast asleep and I just talk to her. I don't know if you remember the early days because you're how old are you? How old are you? Five and three? She's three. You're through this bit, aren't you? Because like this bit, Tom, this isn't a normal thing that all parents go through. We're not all

watching Fast and Furious or 5 a.m. Yeah, there's a critical phase where I've got one of those donut pillows. Well, Jane us, it's one of James' donut pillows. There's been several occasions now where Gloria, because like, I've got like, I've put on a lot, I'm always a bit overweight, but I've put on a lot of weight in lockdown, right? I'm like, I haven't weighed it, but... Itell you what I'll tell you this I had to do a day's filming the other day and it was supposed to be filming in February and I've given my costume measurements and I went in and they said so you said you were 36 waist and I said yeah but I think I'm probably 38 so they gave me 38

and I didn't fit 38. I've been proper daddy. So, um, so, um, so I put on the way and now Gloria, there's nothing worse than when your baby daughter stirs on you and truck like, I've got just, I've got enough breasts for her to think that there's milk in there. So the other night, she properly started trying to have a go out of my nipple because she figured there might be some milk in there. Was there any milk in there? Did she strike gold? Well, skin on skin is very important. Josh, they preach that. They preach it. I don't know if it was that back in your day but skin on skin is essential for bonding not just for the mother but also for the father that's what they say yeah there's got to be a cutoff date though isn't there? There's got yeah I don't know when I'm not

gonna pick her up from school topless yeah yeah quickly I'll have the old top top right the head they're quickly I'll to get you to get your head in the game for A level you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you the the the the the the the the the the the there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there I there I there I there I there I there I there I there I I I there I I I I I I there I I there I I there there to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to there there there there there there there there there there there to do your driving lesson he's at their house. When she graduates when she graduates I'll have the old top around the head. Exactly you need it just to get your head in the game for A levels you know it's good to be a development. Piggy back in it to school skin on skin. Yeah. So like I'm holding her I hold her in like a cradle type setup and then there's a critical stage where I let go of her and put her on to the donut pillow the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the the game the game the the the the game the the the the the game the the the game the the game the game the game to to to to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get in to get in to get in to get in to get in to to to get in to get in to get in to get in to get in to get in to get in in to get in in in in to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get the game to the game the game the game. the game. the game. the game. the game. the the the the to the the the the the the the the to the the the game. the game. the game. the game. to the game. to to to to to to to to to to to, but then there's a critical stage where I get I let go of her and put her onto the donut pillow that's around me so I can have both hands free. Yeah, yeah. And that's like that's like the pivot talks. If she doesn't wait when I do that, then I know I'm in for a good three hours. A good three hours just yourself at night on your own in a way. I'm starting to get to get to get to get that.. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. I'm starting to get slightly jealous of your routine.

Oh, I've got like a routine is that's the thing you crave. As long as you've got some kind of system, then you can kind of get through, you know, it doesn't feel like chaos. So like I have two flasks. I have one from my right hand and a flash for my left just in case. How much, you sound like one of them like 50 stone men that don't move, I they they they they they don't they don't they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've there, I've there, I've there, I've there, I've tho, I've tho, I've got tho, I've got thi, I've tho, I've got like, I've got like, I've got like, I've got like, I've got like, I've got like, I've got like, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've that's, I've th. I've th. I have th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've got thoomomoomoomoomo' thoomoomoomorrow, I've got thooooomoooomooomoomorrow, I've got thoooomoomorrow, I've like one of them like 50 stone men that don't move and just they've got like let's just around them. Yeah yeah that's how I feel. The flask upon the for the left and flask for the right in case so it depends on what side I've got. So what's in the flask? That's water. I've got a thermos pite mug of coffee. That stays warm for a good hour and a half. That's in front of me. I have two Satsumas and a biscuit. Right? Two Sassoomers and a biscuit and then and that's me then set up. I can get to get to five o'clock on that. I can get to get till five o'clock on that.

But like it's only when I know she's entered into deep sleep, like when both of her hands have come up by the side of her head. Like when she gets into deep sleep, both her arms come up like she's celebrating. And like that's when you know she's deep sleep, and that's when I can go for the crinkly rapper. Yeah, okay, you could be a bit more adventurous. bit too early back in the day and I know that's no good too early for the crinky rapper. There was a stage where when mine was so small that I could cradle her in my arm still and play FIFA I could get the controller in my hand and while still holding her and that was a great moment but then when she

got a bit too big for that it was terrible but that was a great couple of weeks and you have to temper your celebrations I bet. Yeah. I just done the vibration off the controller just like, you know, I start getting shot at and your arms go dr-r. So you go to bed at 7pm and then what happens at 10pm? Jay comes up, Jane comes and gets me. Because sometimes she'll like, she'll go a bit later, she'll be able to get to half, 10 or sometimes a bit like, but she comes to get to me. So there's this point where you're up both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both kind of baby relay race. Yeah, that's the transition period. Yeah. So so Jane sits with Gloria and then I get myself set up. The flasks go in first, the Satsumas. Then while the coffee's on the go, then I finish the coffee come in. Sometimes I'll have a hot meal, they're half price at the moment, which is absolute jackpot for me.

Pizza's half price at this stage in my baby's life is absolute jackpot. That's an easy thing to eat quick as well. Yeah, and I've got cockies, I've started putting a fried egg on the Florentina. They've done a Fiorantina, again, perfect timing. So sometimes I'll fry an egg and bang it on top of the Fiorentina, treat myself. That's nice. And what you're watching the films on, is it headphones, or are you having it loud in the room and the big sleep? So depending on the film, I'll use subtitles because if you say that if you're watching in silence.

If it's got a bit of action, no, just like small amount of volume, but like for example thethe Finchcode, there's a lot of exposition. I needed so titles. But like, it depends, like I'm picking my films kind of to do with like, if there's too many gunshots and stuff, then I won't watch it. Yeah. So like, you know, I've been doing quite a bit of like, some sports films are good. I'd like, you know, you know, you know, you're a the films. It's kind of like their voices are kind of quite, I think they're quite healthy voices for Glow to be hearing at this stage in a development. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Well we were we were at this stage early on where like they just wouldn't go to sleep without being near one of us like this. So I was doing shifts and I remember once. So when we had our first I was recording Taskmaster and I was on a tour that I was driving myself to and from. So I remember once I drove to Cardiff, did a show, drove back from Cardiff, got

over one in the morning and as I walked through the door, Lou just gave me the baby and when I'm going to sleep I'll take her back at 6 a.m. I was just holding this baby. I was just I was just holding this baby. I was just, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, I was just, just, just, just, I was just, just, I was just, just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was Absolutely brutal. I know. I was just like, but Lou, you know, I had her all day and I was like, I'm just driven to him back from Cardiff. I've got a gap in the morning and try and get to a microwave without walking because Alex all thinks it'll be funny. It was like PTSD or I just can't even remember that period of my life. Yeah, it's a blur in it. I mean, I think the key to, what I'm enjoying it so much is like, I know lockdown has been tough for a lot of people, but it's been absolute perfect time to have a baby.

Yeah. Like, we didn't plan getting pregnant. It was like a surprise. It was a surprise. If you've only known a nine months haven't you? Yeah, yeah. So, so we, you know, and so we found out at the end of January that we were pregnant and then obviously lockdown and all, everything went mental. And then it was a perfect time for Jane to be pregnant because she was like furloughed and not having to leave the house. And the the the the the to to to to to to the to to to to their their their to to their to be to be their their to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be pregnant. And their to be pregnant. And then to be to be pregnant. And then, to be pregnant, to be pregnant, to be pregnant, to be pregnant, to be pregnant, to be pregnant, to be pregnant, to be pregnant, to be pregnant, to be pregnant, to be pregnant, to be pregnant, to be pregnant, to be pregnant, to be pregnant, to be pregnant, to be pregnant, to be pregnant, to be pregnant, to be pregnant, to be pregnant, to be pregnant, to be pregnant, their, their, their, th. And, threaten, threaten, threaten, their, threaten, their, their, threaten, their, their, their, their, their, to to leave the house. And then lockdown lifted a little bit when she was in a third trimester. And then baby came on and we've gone into second lockdown. And it's pretty amazing because I don't have to,

I've literally, you know, we can't go anywhere. So we would have been in this lockdown stage anyway. And crucially, I'll tell you, said like that's the real ball lake is where you've barely slept and people turn up and let's see the baby. You know that. Yeah but we're like on lockdown so you just kind of go oh it's fine. Drop stuff at the front door and fuck off. You've got the dinners I want movies. Oh presents to the kid but I don't want you. You can't say that can you? You've got these people coming around and they've had a full night sleep and women to stay up, women to make them tea. It's unbelievable. People are like, absolutely, that's right. But yeah, that's it, like the naps, if anyone

messes with your nap, then it's kind of critical. So it's like, yeah, so it's been sweet, being on lockdown, they. So, yeah. So, yeah. So, yeah. So, yeah. So, yeah. So, yeah. So, yeah. So, yeah. So, yeah. So, yeah. So, yeah. So, yeah. So, yeah. So, yeah. So, they. So, to. So, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to, to, to. to, to, to, to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to, to. to. And, to. And, to. And, to, to, to, to, the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to me. to me. to me. to. to. to. to. to do much work of the day Tom or is it just odd bits of coming and here and there? Well yeah because I so like obviously I get to bed at four I'll do yeah I'll do three hours then I'll get to bed five o'clock and sleep till nine for like you know half or half eight do you fall a sleep okay oh yeah absolutely mate like a light piece of this and I'm next to the changing table as well I'm next the changing the changing the changing the changing the changing the changing the changing the changing the changing the changing the changing the changing the changing the changing the the the the the the the the the the change the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to the the to to to to to to to I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'll I'll I to I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the te I te I'm te is te is te is te is te is te is te is te is te is te is te is te is to to to to to to to to to to to to to the tab the changing table as well. So like the setup in our bedroom is like beside me cut on Jane's side and changing table on my side because like that was like we were kind of planning out and we're like I'll probably be doing the nappy changing and you'll be doing the feeding. So let's have the beside be caught on your side on your side on my side but like the problem with that now is like I I get to bed at five and I get into bed and then Jane's th. th Jane's th Jane's th Jane's th Jane's th Jane's th Jane's th Jane's the the the the the that the that that the that that that the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's got that that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that was that was that was that was that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's like that's like that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that bit more stir at that time in the morning and so I have a lot of changing action going on next to me when I'm having my sleep. That's the only bit where it's a bit

tough. That's a lot of stuff in one room. Yeah, yeah setup? We moved in with my mother-in-law in February to get through like lockdown this year. So I'm in Exetime in my mother-in-law's house. How are you so happy? How has it been all right? You know, cut a shit, talk to me. It's been, I'm sure I think he's going to listen to this. It's been intense, but it's been all right. That's what I'd say. And that's fair though because even if you've got the best relationship ever, it's that difference in and of opinions and like it's like anything isn't it? Everyone's got the same goal of like keep the baby happy and healthy and sleeping and stuff, but everyone does stuff in different ways and it's frustrating? Have you tried? Yeah, yeah, yeah, happy about it. Do you think? At a moment, I go to bed at seven, three hours and I'll go to bed again.

So, do you think I might have thought that it's may not be the ideal to Pario? Do you think I'm doing this because it's a second best option? Mommy? But it must be good though having that support networked there for you and Jane right? Yeah. Because Rose's mom helped up with our daughter and it makes a huge difference. You know like when they say that TV chefs don't really do their own cooking, they've got like they've got like a home economist who does it all for them really for the cameras. That's how I feel like me and Jane are like the kind of parenting experience where we're spending all the time with God but like Thalma's just been, she does all, she's been cooking the meals, she's been doing the laundry, and it's like that, I mean like fucking the Muslims, the amount of Muslims we've been getting through.

Where we were expecting like, everyone kept buying as Muslims and we were kind of like, okay, thanks, yeah, yeah, they're theyrific. And like, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thee, thee, tho, tho, tho, thanks, thanks, that, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I's, th. I's, th. th. thr, thr. thr. thooooooooooooooooooooooooo, ta, too. tha, they. they. they. they. I's like okay yeah muslins but fuck me you need those muslins I'm like no I don't know how I've ever lived my life without muslins and you know why do people just wait until babies come like to use muslin they're fucking amazing think you spill something bag of muslin on there you just like fucking dribbling when I wipe your hands get a fucking muslin chucking away they're fucking incredible shit I haven't had it all my life it's like it's like It's like. It's like, but like there's a constant stream of muslin washing going on. So like, yeah, Thalma's being so it. It doesn't help, doesn't it? All that stuff, then you could just focus on the baby and stuff. Yeah, exactly. But we are operating based on, because we we didn't want to intrude on on Thalma on on on on on on on the on the house the house the house the house the house. thoma. the house. thoma. thoma. thoma. thoma. thum thum the house. thum of thum of thum of thum of to to toe's to intrude on to intrude on to intrude on, toe's toe's toe's toe's toe's toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe's, toe's, toe's, toe's, toe's toe's toe's toe's toe's their their their their their their their their their their their their their thu. thu. thu. thru. throwne. throwne. too. too. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. thu then there's like a there was like a downstairs room that Tharma wasn't using so we we've turned that into like our little den so that's where that's where I do like you know I'm moving marathons and all right so you go down to that room so space is a bit of a preview like we're operating out two rooms really oh so what's the plan then the plan so the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the plan the the the the the the plan the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th is th is th is th is th is tho tho twea twea tree to tree to tree but but to tree to tree but to the tree but the the the the the the the the the the th When are you going to move out? Oh my God you said like my dad?

The plan? Oh yeah I wasn't expecting this funny Josh. Because you're buying a house on I mean having a baby and buying a house in lockdown. That must be stressful. Oh yeah. Yeah, we had the offer accepted two days before Jane went into Labour. Yeah. And we were trying to resist Jane being induced. Jane wanted as natural birth the possible. And she, I mean, like it was a mad time because they, they kind of put this thing on you where they say, monitor the movements of the baby. And if they change, then tell us. And so like Jane said, oh, the movements have changed.

They've softened, but they're still a lot of movements. And they were like, right, we're going to induce you now. And Jayman was like, well, no, I'm not due yet. And I want to wait. And they were like, we're going to induce you. And like everything we've read, they said, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, they, they, they, they, So Jane said to the doctor, I don't want to be induced, I'm going to wait. And they effectively said, well, on your head be it, kind of thing. And we were fucking, so obviously we were freaking out because Jane knew she was doing the right thing.

Because she could tell the baby was healthy. I just didn't want to induce. But like the doctors were really put, it was weird amount of pressure. So we had this week where Jane had said no to an induction and I was supporting that decision but like it's a tough is it tough to not support your ice decision when you live with her mom yeah yeah yeah yeah exactly I know we'll discuss it stuff I know it's your house Selma I've got a few ideas let's sit down and talk it's your house it's your, but I want to talk, alright? It's your house, it's your body, but it's my opinion, all right?

Everyone. So like, Jane had a phone call from the hostel saying, from a midwife who said, look, we really think you should come in for this induction. Jane said, stood at the ground and said no. And then put the phone down and burst. their their their their their their their their to. their, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the to. to. stood stood at the ground and said no and then put the phone down and burst into tears and was like literally like the emotion was like what if I'm killing our baby by doing this and then and then my phone went and I answered it and I answered it and then my estate agent went great news. I said I say what the offer's been accepted on your house and I was like I'm like I mean like, I mean like it's it's a it's a it my it's like it's like it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the em I it's a the em I it's a the em I it's a little like it's a the em I it's a the emotion like it's a little like it's a little like it's a little like it's like it's like it's like it's like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like it's like it's like it's like it's a the emotion I said I said I said I said I said I said I said I said I said my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my state my state my state my state my state my state my state my state my state my state my state my state my state my state my state my state my state my state my state. it's a stay stay a stay a stay a stay a stay a stay a stay agent. it's a stay a stay a stay at at my. it's a stay. it's a stay. it's a stay. it's a stay. it's a stay. it house and I was like, I mean like, it's a lean, put it this way, it's a lean year anyway, so like this, trying to get this offer on this house is like by book or by crook anyway. And on some mornings I'm like, am I going to be able to afford this?

So that's already a source of stress. Great news, you've got the house!" And I was just like, oh, okay, oh God, okay, can I call you back? So then like it's two days later, Jay, we tabled into labor, and then we had, we had glow. It's only about five days after that. And then someone emailed me saying, we need some papers from you that I kind of realized we bought a house. Oh yeah, we've done fucking house, didn't we? It's just like, oh God. It feels like everyone bought a house in Exeter during lockdown, so an Exeter can't cope. The people next were like, oh my god, we need at least three months

to process all of this. It seems like that was the immediate reaction of like 40% of London was like I'm going to go and live in Exeter. I did, I've never felt more like I'm having a breakdown. Like literally, and this is from the guy, who sits away with too fast and two sat sooomers next to him. We got back, basically, we went on honeymoon, we spent all our money in January, we spent all our money on honeymoon. I'm thinking that's great, well don't worry, I've got some work coming up and everything will be fine. So we got back to London absolutely broke, but on the last day of honeymoon we found up we were pregnant. I was like, ah, oh okay, yeah that's okay. We haven't, we have just spent all our money, but that's okay. And then the pandemic happened and the pandemic, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've the pandemic, we've the pandemic, we've the pandemic, we've the pandemic, we've the pandemic, we've the pandemic, we've the pandemic, we've, we've, we've the pandemic, we've the pandemic, we've the pandemic, we've the pandemic, we've the pandemic, we've the pandemic, we've, we've the pandemic, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've got, we've got, we've got, to to to thed, to thed, thed, to thed, thed, thed, than, their, their, their, their, we've got, we've got, we've got, we've moved into a new flat in Crystal Palace. We've been there two months. And then the pandemic happened and it all my live work just disappeared. And Jane's job went, they sucked down.

So Jane had just told them that she was pregnant. And and then the pandemic happened and then they were like, you're still on probation and this has happened. So Jane lost a job. All my work disappeared and we were pregnant and it was just like, what do we do? We thought lockdown was coming. It was like that time when no one really knew what lockdown was going to be. There was talking. Like, genuinely Jane's text was just saying, from a lawyer friend saying there's going to be tanks on the street or shit. We were like, theymea. their ta. We were thanks, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. mom in Exeter for like one final kind of, just to see it. Lockdown was about like a week away, they said. And we went to visit Jane's mom for one final time. And like on the drive back from Exeter, we got in the car.

And I said, here's a thing right, hypothetically, there is a world where we could to your mom's house for like this year and like it started out as an idea by the time we got out the car we called our landlord and said like we're getting we want to get out of the flat and like it just it was like this kind of like immediate spur of the moment decision that I didn't really stop thinking about then within two days I've driven Jane back to exit because I didn't again it was like this thing of her being newly pregnant in London when the pandemic was starting and it was like what what is this how day it was like and so I did feel like I was like I've driven to Exeter I tried to Exeter like

like four times in five days I think or six days something like that and like the final time it was with a van and I just loaded all our stuff into the van and it was the day and it was the day they they they they they they they they they they the they the the the the the the the the th. the th. the the th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was thi. I was th. I was th. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was like. I was liked. I was liked. And I was liked. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And I was like. And I was like. And I was like. And I was like. And I was like. And I was loaded all our stuff into the van. And it was the day they announced lockdown. So I announced lockdown and I was leaving London. And I've never felt more like, well, like I was in a fucking like disaster movie or something. So like it was mental. And then I arrived and it was like, we have this period of like, are we going to fit in, you know, like, Jane's mom, it's not like she lives in a country estate. It's so funny about people from London where you go, we've moved to Exeter and they say, God, must be so nice to be in the country. So nice. And it's like, Jane's mom

lives in a council estate in Whipton. It's like, I don't correct to people because like, but for some reason you say there, anyone, to to say, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be to be, their to be, their, th. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's to be th. It's thi, like, th. It's that's, that's, that's that's their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, they. It's, we, we they. It's, we, we, we they. It's, we, we, we, we, we, we they. It's, we're, they. It's, th. It's, th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thooomorrow, thoooomorrow, to me, th. It's th. It's thoooomorrow, thoomorrow, they. It's their, they. It's th people because like they for some reason you say to anyone you go oh we move to Exeter for lockdown they're like oh man that must be so great countryside the coast he's like I'm looking at the window thinking fucking else like it's not that mate it would have been mental trying to do it in in London the position we were in so you just why not yeah it's nice to have the help as well with the baby like you know it's it's that you that you that you that you the the the the that you the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first th th th th th th that that that th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th thus thus thus thus the the the the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the tho to do it in London the position we were in. And so you just say well why not? Yeah, it's nice to have the help as well with the baby. Like you say, like the first baby and in the middle of lockdown is about you have have that support network. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, well that's it's like my family are all in Wolverhampton and then Jane's mom's in Exeter. And so we's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the first. It's like, like, like, the first. It's like, the first. It's like, the first. It's like, like, the first. the first South East London, like we got mates. So is Jane doing a breastfeeding, did you

say Tom? Yeah, so James. So what do you do when she's hungry on your shift and you take her up for a breastfeed, what do you do you do in that time? Do you stay, sit with her or do you get asleep? Do you eat? Is that a big moment in your shift? Yeah, it's quite critical really a that that that that th. th. th. It's th. It's that th. It's th. It's th. It's a th. It's a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to thi. So, so, so, so, so, so, so. So, so, so. So, so, so, so, so, so. So, so, so. So, so, so. So, so, so. So, so. So, so. So, so, so. So, so. So, so, so. So, so. So, so, so, so. So, so, so, so, so, so. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, thi. So, to, to. So, to to to to to, to, to to, to, to to, to to to to to to to to to to to ze off while the breastfeeding's going on then it's very hard to get back into the zone afterwards. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? So I like I want to preface this by saying this was before the Queen's Gambit came along which which makes me it makes me sound like a real knob get back into that. So I've been playing chess all year. So when I'm starting to feel really tired on the night shift, I go on chess.com and you can have these kind of like intense speed games with strangers.

So sometimes I'll do that. So last night, I was playing this guy from Argentina. And he's cropped up a few times, I think me and him are online at the same time, about like three o'clock. That's because it's daytime there. Yeah, no, no, he keeps beating me, that's probably what. So like, if I'm feeling like, when I give Gloria to Jane,

and she's having the feed, I'll probably start a game of speed chest. So last night, I was tha, I was like into my final four minutes and Gloria woke up and I looked at it and I was like oh no not now. Like not now mate and like you know you know like obviously she wakes up and then you have this kind of grace period of like three or four minutes where she's just looking around and it's really nice but it's once the tongue starts coming out that's theue starts coming out, that's the sign that she needs food and it's like once that happens you're on a ticking clock. Because it's like once the tongue comes out, if you don't get to the boob within like four minutes or so, then there's going to be screaming abdabs. So the tongongongongongongongongongongongongongongongongongongongongongongongongongongongongue. So, to to that. So, that. So, that. So that. So that. So that. So that. So that. So that. So that. So that's that's that's that's that's that's that. So that. So that's that's that's that's that's that's that. So, that. So, that. So, that. So, that. So, that. So, that. And I that. And I that. And I that. And I. And I, that. And I, that. And I, that. And I, that. And I that. that. that. that. that. that's that's that's that's that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's that's like, that's that's the clock was ticking down on this chess game. The tongue was coming out. And she needed a nappy change. It's just like, oh my fucking car. Because like that again, like that's the system is like, you get her up, your changer, then you give her to Jane.

We've been operating, did you have like a red light? We read somewhere. If you have a red light in the room, then it feels like the womb, so like she stays calm. So we bought this red lamp. What's her that anyone look at the house where outside thinks it's a brothel? Yeah, also Tom, I think you should start looking at things that might make you feel calmer? Because, is the red's good to put your kid first, but you know, self-care's important as well, Tom. It's good advice, I'm okay, I've got my

flask and my sat sober. I've had a thermost point of coffee. You're like an evacuee. Set down to the point he's crime. to either. Bed at seven, get out. Yeah, I mean that's it. I'm slightly, I'm slightly, like, at the moment, it all feels like we've done exactly the right thing. But I think once, in fact, the vaccine, when they know the vaccine, I was like, oh God, that's going to be the end of it. Yeah, I'm quite nervous when things go back to normal. And I'm in Exeter. I'm like, oh God, what have I done? What I would say though is you're better off being in Exeter with someone that can do the childcare so that you can go out and have days out with Jane when we're allowed to,

than being in London with no one where you're so near to the fun, but you're than being in London with no one where you're so near to the fun but you can't enjoy it. But Exxon's a great place to go out. I love Exor. Yeah, it's a, I mean, that's it. It feels amazing. And like, you know, when the week before, when we were waiting for the baby to come, like we were, we'd get in the car, drive 20 minutes and we'd be on the beach, pop back home, we'd go to Dartmoor and stuff, and it's like, I just think, I mean, you think about a childhood, and I just think we'd glow, I just think every weekend it'll be like, we can go to the beach, we can go to the boards, we can be like, it's an absolutely

beautiful place. So I am, I must admit, I'm really excited. I never saw it coming. I've been, I've been. I've been. I've been. I've been. I've been. I've been. I've been. I've been completely. I've been completely. I've been completely. I've been completely. I've been completely. I've been completely. I've been completely. I've been completely. I've been completely. I've been completely. I've been completely. I've been completely. I've been completely. I've been completely. I've been completely. I've been completely, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been completely. I've been, I've been completely. I've been completely. I've been completely. I've been. I've been. I've been. I've been. I've been. I've been. I've been. I've been. I've been. I've been. I've been. I've been. I've been. I've been. I've been. I've been, I've been, I've whole year. Like if I'm about- It'd be a bit weird if you did see this year coming. Yeah. Yeah, what I mean? He's just sunk all his money into Pfizer in the stock exchange. Excuse me. He's just bought a PEPE company. What's peeping out? Well, what we'll do is when we'll end up when we do a live tour of lockdown parent in hell, we'll do a show and exit her and you can be our guest Tom and then you can take us out on the night out and show us your new land. Yeah, I love that. So since you're the newest parent we've spoken to Perry,

have you got any tips for anyone that's had a baby iny bloke here, but like I am really taking my lead off Jane because if Jane's happy, Dory is happy. And so it's really interesting because of- You're crying at Ozzy rules football, you know. You're fine, aren't you? It's like, you know, that's all that matters really. So it's interesting when your, when your mates come thrown and say like oh have you tried this or this or this you kind of you kind of feed I feed that back to Jane and be like oh have we tried like what's the swaddling for example like yeah

Crosby's big on swaddling yeah he bought me a swaddledle before glory arrived and was like ass what swaddling makes the way and I know I was so I was like oh yeah so he's the to this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is like oh I was like oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh this is the this is this is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the this is is this is this is this is this is is this is exciting. We can do some swaddling. And then he's like, not sure about swaddling. And so like, so I'm like, oh, yeah, so he kind of ends there really. And then like, you know, the other day, I talked to Crosby about like my night routine and stuff. And he was like, if you tried that's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm tell you and Matt Crosby are very different people, so I imagine the children you breed will be very different too.

That's it. Yeah, yeah, that's it. I think like parenting advice and relationship advice are the two things that just don't really translate. You just like, you know, you can't, you can see them like, oh well I did this and you're like, well I did that. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, that's, well, well, well, that's, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, that's, th. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, I, that's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I that's, I, I, I, I that's, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, that's, I, that's, that's that's that's that's that's th. that's that's th. that's that's that's th. that's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, that's it. Exactly. Like my brother's about to have a baby and I'm trying to stop myself from giving too much of it because like you know you do feel like you do feel like you're in a position to give it but like you don't... Yeah, when do you feel like when you're holding your both flasks in the red glow with your biscuit, sat tumor and a Friday on a pizza. Is that the thing?

I think I'm absolutely nailing this. See there though, I think the key thing is, if you're all enjoying it and the baby's happy then that you are nailing it and you sound a lot different to a lot of my friends that have got a six-week-old baby. So I think they're doing right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the their th. their their their their their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their is. the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. the. the. the. te. te. te. te. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th ask the same question at the end of each interview Rob. Well yeah, it was more to, you know, is there anything that Jane does, parents-in-wise wise that frustrates you and annoys you a little bit, but because it's all a bit tense, you can't really bring it up without there being a row, but if you were to mention it on the show and she heard and then she heard and then change what she anything you want to get off your chest at the moment? Oh my god, this is a great idea for a feature. This is... And it's just a little thing that you just think, oh, I wish you didn't do that, but you can't

say or it'll kick off. Yeah, so basically, so Jane, Jane loves dogs, right? And I'm, you know, I'm not really a dog person, she loves dog. She loves dogs. She stops and she's. to talks, I. to talks, I. to talks, I. to talks, I. to talks, I. to talks, I's, I. to talks, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I th. I just, I th. I wish, I wish, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I, I, I, I th. I, I, I, I th. I, I, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I wish, I wish, I wish, I thi, I wish, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi. I wish, I wish, I just, I wish, I wish, I the time and I end up talking to the dog owner because she'll be down there talking to the dog. Me and the dog owner are just kind of like... How old was yours? Yeah I'm like oh literally that's how long you had the dog? And I go yeah how long and I go that's great. No but when when Jane is petting a female dog she'll often use this voice and this int this this this this this this this this thenation. She's thian. She's thian. She's thian. She's thian. She's thian. She's thian. She's thian. She's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to stop she's she's she's to stop she's toe. She's to stop she stops. She's toea. She's toea she stops toeole. She's toe's toe. She's toe's toe's toe. She's toe's toe. She's to she'll often use this voice and this intonation. She'll say, good girl, good girl, good girl, good girl. And she uses that with Gloria sometimes. So when Gloria burps, she'll say, good girl, good girl. And I, in my head, I'm like, she's not a dog. You know, you don't like when the pressure cooker. like, I, I'll, I'll know when I'm, I'm, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good girl, good girl, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, that, that, that, the the the the the the the the the. You know, like, you know, like, the pressure cooker.

Like, I'll know when I've snapped, it'll be when I actually say those words, she's not a dog. Because I've heard that phrase and that tone with so many, like, good girl. And so yeah, Gloria all like latch on and start feeding and Jana said, good girl girl good girl and so yeah Gloria all like latch on and start feeding and Jenna say good girl good girl and that's all that's it's don't talk to our daughter like she's a dog that's the voice it's so funny whenever we ask people that they were everyone goes oh god I can't think and then immediately have one yeah yeah yeah you mentioned it to her no that they're the that's the tho they th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the the they the they they they they they they they the the they're they're the the the the the they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they the the the the the the the the the the the the toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy te toy toy toy toy toy te toy toy to toy to the the the the the the the the the tho toy that they were everyone goes oh God I don't know I can't think and then immediately have one yeah yeah you mentioned it to her no but I do think

I do think she's gonna listen to this though good girl good girl good girl did you say good boy to you good boy good boy to you good boy good boy good boy good boy good boy good boy no it's get a bit too personal no no it's gonna to to the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to the the the the the the the to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, yeah. Wait to move out the mother-in-laws. We may have to get Jane on just to see the other side of this. And the interview could start with, yeah, I'm a bit worried about him. Yeah, is this an intervention? Thanks so much, John. That's brilliant. Oh, cheers, Jean brilliant, so fun. Oh, cheers, gents, what a pleasure.

Thanks, mate. Bye. Bye. Thank you everyone for listening. See you see on Tuesday. Right, bye. Cheers, bye. Cheers, bye.