Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S02 EP2: "Bezos, who does your boxes?"

Episode Date: January 26, 2021

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' S02 EP2: "Bezos, who does your boxes?"Series 2 proper starts now!! We're back every Tuesday and Friday until... well... probably forever because what else is there to do? Rob and Josh. xxWe're so proud and honoured to announce we have reached over 10 MILLION DOWNLOADS!!!!And to say thank you and help those in need after what has been a tough year for so many, we've started a Just Giving page for the Trussell Trust which you can find here;https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/lockdownparentingWe've kicked things off with a donation and if anybody is in a position to help this fantastic cause then please do. No pressure. But they do great work for a brilliant cause so if you can spare even a little please do. https://www.trusselltrust.orgThanks and see you soon.Josh, Rob (and producer Michael) xx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Looking for a collaborator for your career, a strong ally to support your next level success, you will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue. York you.C.A. Back to school signals a fresh start for students. New classmates, new teachers, new lessons. Change is in the air. But one thing hasn't changed.

The forward government still isn't investing in public schools. Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the supports they need. They can't wait another year. If the forward government won't change, it's time to change the government. Our kids are counting on us. Join us at Building Better Schools.C.A. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. Hello, I'm Josh Riddickham. And I'm Robbeckin. Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell. The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. And to make a little tricky. So in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation,

and to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. Hello you are... Well, how do we start, Josh? Hello and welcome to Lockdown Parenting Howe with... Yeah, that's it. Keep that in. We've got to keep that bit in.

I just had a brain freeze, John. We're recording this Sunday morning. It's absolutely freezing. Let me start again. Hello and you. Hello. Hello. Just do it's not a catch-aise.

Just imagine you're welcoming people. It's not scripted. Hello. Hello. Hello. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. the. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the not like, it's not scripted. Hello, you are listening to lockdown parent in hell with. Can you say for me, Josh Widakum? Just really come. Can you say Rob Beckett? I don't need the toilet. Try again. I just need the to, no wait, I need it.

Okay. There is a second attempt. Can you say Josh Widdacom? Just really can you say Rob Beckett? There we go. Lovely stuff. Who is that? That is Etienne who is four and that is his mom is Daisy. Daisy. Daisy. Daisy is a big fan of is his mom is Daisy Daisy Daisy Daisy is a big fan of the podcast Daisy yeah she produces one of our great rivals Rob no way who's she producing she produces the Ramsey's mate oh my God I mean I'd say rivals I'd say that this is like Michael Jordan and Lebron

Yeah, I mean that's it we should a big shout out to the Ramses because poor old Rosie I'd say that's I'd say that thirty that's th. I'd th th th th th th th th I'd th I'd th I'd th I'd th I'd th I'd th I'd tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thozy thozy thozy thozy thi the the thozy had th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thir thir thir thir thir thir thir tho tho tho thoo thoo thoooooooo the thooo the thooo tho tho the thir thir that's a big shout out to the Rumsie's Oakwood's poor old Rosie had a C section and that congratulations on their second baby and Chris Ramsey broke his ankle. Have you seen that? Oh my yeah so hope they're feeling better soon if they listen to this I don't know they do but you know you know one person's pain as another person's gain they're just doing best off episodes where we're still plowing it out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're to to to to to to to to to to to their their to to to their their. So. So their. So. So their. So. So. So. So. So, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I I their. I their. I their. I their. I their their their th. I th. th. th. th. thi. the. the. th. to to th. the. the. the. the. the. tho. their their their they do. But, you know, one person's pain is another person's gain. They're just doing best off episodes where we're still plowing it out. So hopefully we can catch up and take over when he's got a broken ankle. Fingers crossed. Well, I think you can still podcast with a broken ankle. You've got a strike while the ankle's broken. Exactly. Exactly. That's that's why I've got the producer of recording messages. Daisy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's why. That's why. That's why I that's why I that's why I that's why I that's why I that's why I that's why I that's why I that's that's why I've that's why I've that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's why I that's why I that's why I that's why I that's why I that's why I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's why I that's why I that's why I the their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their their their th. th. th. th. keep her busy. Get her out in the editing studio for the best bits. Exactly, exactly.

She also produces the Tasmaster podcast, which I went on. And you shut up, advertising Daisy's podcast. Sorry, I was just gonna say, and she was a big fan of this podcast. Oh, yeah, if she was that big a fan, if she was a big enough fan, she quit she would would quit she quit she quit she quit she quit she quit she quit she quit she quit she quit she quit she quit she job? No, but she would produce it badly. She still take her fee, but the quality would dip, and then we can take up the totscot.

If Daisy was a real fan, then I think that's what she should be doing. She's put in a couple of things that she's got on the cutting room floor that would get Chris or Rosie cancelled. Well, I'm sure they'll, she'll, she'll, she'll, she'll, she'll, she'll, she'll, she'll, she'll, she'll, she'll, she'll, she'll, she'll, she'll, she'll, she'll, she'll, she'll, she'll, she'll, she'll, she'll, she'll, she'll, she'll, she'll, she'll, the, the, the, the, the, she'll, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their. their. the. the. the. the...... Yeah, the. Yeah, the.. Yeah, the, the, the, the, the, the, the........ Yeah, the, th, th, th, the...... Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. the. the. th. th. the. th. th. the. tha. tha. tha. the, the, the, the, the, tha. And, yeah, exactly. Hopefully she could dig that out. I mean, she's a real fan and that's that's the real commitment level is, you know, yeah, I think we're not going for the approach of we want to be the best because we're the best, let's make everyone else worse so that we're, you know. Exactly, exactly. There's too many podcasts. There's too many podcasts. There's too many podcasts. that's. the the the the th. th. th. the th. th. th. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the real the real the real the real the real the real the real the real the real the real the real the real the real the the real the. that's that's that's the? Well I've got a question about podcast and parenting off yeah go on my because it's interesting like with that situation where you're talking to someone who listens to the podcast yes and they know far more about you yeah yeah yeah

or they'll start the conversation halfway through and it'll be you know say something like cool bloody elephant bloody elephant trunk, hey? I'm like, pardon? Because that like, you know, the way my three-year-old used to say, gray trunk, and I'm like, what? And then they can't say the swearing word. So yeah, that does happen. Is that happened to you this? Well, that was, there's a parent, nursery. Do you know what, I'm going to say she's definitely definitely definitely definitely definitely definitely definitely definitely definitely definitely definitely definitely definitely definitely definitely,, right? So she's, okay. She's called Lisa, she's a real laugh, but she listens to the podcast. In what way is she the best, well, she's the best parent or best person there? You know when you're like, who do I want to get put next to

in the queue waiting for pickup? Do you know what I mean? Yeah, like if you worked at a job to get to get, you, yeah. But a couple of times, I've found myself telling her anecdotes, and then halfway through thought, she fucking knows this. Oh yeah, she's not the edited version. Yeah, she's, oh God, she knows that this is gear that I'm doing. And also, she'll know how much, you know, weak stuff you put in normally and Michael chops up to make

you look like a zingham. You're really exposing yourself in that cue Josh. Yeah it's really bad. Anyway how are you? Yeah good I've had a mental week Josh it's been I'll go through some of the stuff normally you have little little notes of what we go on. Well should we do me first thing because it's pretty mundane yeah tell us what happened with you let's and then we'll just we'll just th just th just the th. th. the th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. to the to to the the th. to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. Yeah, tell us what happened with you. Well, let's do yours and then we'll just kind of Peter out with me at the end of the podcast. Okay, so first things first, 5 a.m. wakeups, both kids all week. Fuck that. Just insane. I don't know why it's that. I think, I don't think they're getting tired out enough during the day. So, and my kids have a lot of energy anyway, all kids do obviously, but mine, mine are like a dog, you know like certain dogs, if you get a pug, your kid might be a pug where

it will just sit in the out. Well I was because I had asthma, so I was a bit like... Yeah, you're a little wheezy pug, right? Where some other dogs, like a sheet, they can't just sit by the fire and sleep. No. They've been a bit of a nightmare anyway. And I had just had the most stressful, I'd reckon on that Wednesday, I probably out of the whole year of the pandemic,

had my sort of lowest day, where like the kids just wouldn't go asleep in the night. So basically I'd like a hour's a to sleep, I was sleep, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was thap, I was loads of stuff to do and I went for a walk and I was just like, you know, just like everything just feels like utter utter shit. Yeah. And I realized it was just tiredness. So I got quite good with like trying to be calm and do things to distract and whatever. But if you don't have sleep, it's just horrific. But then what I worked out to do was Josh is I mentioned it on Instagram. It's like, I don't think I think I think I th. I th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm just like, I'm th. I'm th. I've try. I've like, I've thi. I've just thi. I've like, I've to to to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thired. thired. thired. thired. thired. thired. I was just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm a try. I'm a try. I've just like, I'm a try. I've try. I've try. I've try. I've try. I've try. I've try. I've try. I've try. I've try. I've try. I've try. I've try. don't think we did I'm going to teach you about each day's like a football match When you can't take the previous result with you into the next day That's good that's good theory actually yeah I lost three nil today so on Wednesday I lost three I woke up at five I didn't even go asleep to wake up. Basically after midnight I went five nil down and then the rest of the day was trying to pull it back and I didn't and I think that way if you do that you could just move on to the next day or if you do get them to bed and your free kneel down

you can like pull a couple back with like a nice dinner or a glass of wine and stuff like that but I just basically went mad. So what's your current is 915 in the morning? Oh very good that's the sunday. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thin. thi. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, the the th. And, the the thi. And, the the. And, the. And, the the. And, thea. And, the. And, the. And, the the. And, thi. And, who got her vaccination this week? Oh, very good. That's quick. Really quick. What does that mean now? Does that mean that she can do anything? So not really. Basically what it means is she was everyone in category one to four, which is old people and clinically vulnerable and NHS I think are supposed to be getting it before the middle of Feb. And she had an appointment for eight for Feb so slightly. to. And a. And a. And, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. And, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, the, the, the, the, the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thoooooooooo. Really, th. Reallyb, so slightly later, because she was younger. But when we rung to book, we rung up again. I just said, if you have any cancellations, let us know they had a cancellation. So they spoke to him, we got in the next day. So what they're trying to do, they don't want to, because they kids do now, I was pretty high. So did you get, uh, did Lou get ill from it? She felt a bit rough last night,

she went to bed a bit early and stuff, so hopefully she's still but what means is she's still needs another one in three months. So she's got one in April and she's still got, there's no impact from this vaccination until two or three weeks. But I don't really really the impact the impact the impact the impact the impact the impact tha tha thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. There thi. thi. thi. thi. three weeks. But I think it would be like we'd probably be able to send the kids to nursery potentially but I don't really know I need to look at all the information. Blamey so you've got no nursery no school and no sleep. So what time do I go to bed? We're trying to say what's sending them to bed a bit later so they're sleeping but they were going a bit after seven eight and then just waking up at five? the their their their their their their their their their their their five their five their five. their five. their five. their five. to their five. to their five. to their five. to to their five. to to to their five. to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. their. their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I I. I. I. I. I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I's. Yeah. I's. I's. Yeah. I's. I's. I'm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm. I'm.to bed in that situation? Well, I got better last night, but all week, just from stress, I've been getting into bed

and they're just sort of logging into the internet for about four or five hours and kind of sleep about two or three. So my God. Yes, I've just been mental this week. But what's saved it is the pom pom pom jar. So basically you have a a a a they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they they their their their their their their their their the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I the. I the. I the. to the to the to the the the the the the the the the thooooo. I the. Iom jar. Right, yeah, came through this. So basically you have a big jar of pom-poms and two little jars, and you say to the girls, whenever they do something good, they get a pom-pom when they do anything bad or naughty,

you take a pom-pom out, and it's all like a reward chart, and then once a po- youngest was just getting out of bed, waking up all night and we're just saying if you do that you get your pom-pom jar, you get a pom-pom and they've just absolutely gone mad for the pom-pom jar. And now, so now we're basically getting up about thiombs, thiis, thi-s, buts, thi-s, thi-s, thoombs, thi-s, thi-s, thi-sthat the pom-bum jar has been pretty good. And how many pom-poms makes a jar? Well the thing about pom-pom is Josh, you can squash a pom-pom down. You know, you know, anyone, any Tommy Cooper fan knows, you can squash them any any thing you want. You can squash them right down.

Yeah, of course. I'm not going, you can squash them any thing you want. Yeah, yeah, you can squash them right to home. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber 1 for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber one for students, a membership to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month.

Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. What does possible to sound your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with business platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and conditions apply. Visit MX. C. A. today is a task. A. today was horrific. So basically we got up and I was supposed to be doing work but I just didn't have the energy and it was just you know it was just falling apart, everything everything was going wrong. So the electrics th th th th th the th the th the th th th th th the th th th th th th th th the th th th th th th th. That's the the the th. That's the the th. That's the the th. That's the the the the th. That's the the th. That's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. thea. tea. tea. tea. tea. te. te. t't, I didn't have the energy. And it was just, you know, it was just falling apart, everything was going wrong. So the electrics went as well. What it worked out was tellows. One of the outside lights, had gone off and then that tripped it, and then the outside lights. And then that I thought I'd sort of it, the outside, the outside, the outside, the outside, the outside, the, tried, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, taphue, to be, tapy. And, to be, told, was, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, told, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was. And, was. And, was. And, was. And, was. And, was, was, was. And, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, tot. And, tot. And, tote. And, totally. And, totally. And, totally. And, tot. And, too. And, too. And, toe. And, tote. And, was, was. And, again. So I thought I'd sorted it and like the electrician come round and he was basically, it was all kicking off and he would just go for a walk,

I'll do bath, I'll go for a walk. And as I left the house, I literally shut the front door and because I went out and the security light went on, the whole, every light the house went off. So it's just one 40 bulb. So we turned that light off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off the light the light the light the light the light the light the light the light the air. But then we worked it out, they're all fired now so it's just one 40 bulb. We turned that light off, it's disconnected. That's amazing. But as I walked out I was just like, oh my god and literally as the lights went off I went, yep conceded another that's another goal. Went so we were filming a last leg thing at Plymouth Argyle where Adam and I had to dress his

Pilgrim Pete. And have you ever had to do anything at half-time at a football match? Oh yeah, mate, that's my life, you're rubbish. Yeah, yeah, and you have to like wait in the tunnel, right? So we're waiting in the tunnel and Ply late and orient goalkeeper was the nearest person to the, so he was the first to come off and obviously he didn't expect us to be in the tunnel. So he just, the moment he got out of view of the fans, he just went, fuck! And then we would have just said that and Ithe pitch. I can do it on the pitch.

Oh, I hate that about football. They can't really properly express themselves. Fuck! I love it. We would like your emails then. We weren't planning this, but what point have you shouted the word fuck really, really loudly? What's sent you over the edge? In my th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi th thiii, thi, thi, I thi, I thi, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I', I' tho, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th That, if you go... What's sent you over the edge? What's sent you over the edge?

In my time of feeling really down, Josh, I thought of things that made me happy again, which people I could share with if other people were stressed in a week. One thing I do is, which is a bit, oh no, this is a good one, the massage, you get, you get a massage, you get, you get, you get, you, you get, you get, you, you, you, you get, you, you get, if, if, if, you, you, if, you, if, you, if, you, you, you, if, if, you, you, if, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you get, you get, the, the, the, the, the, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th., th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, th. thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, and they have to walk on your front right and you get them I mean you I reckon the limit the eldest is the house is five and she's sort of not a massive five rot I reckon the age of anything five and under will work yeah peak peak age I would say four right because I've got enough weight to make an impact but not too heavy so you land your front and then you get your kids to walk on your legs and then over your bum and then on your back and then you get to stand on the top of your shoulders and then Rob and then they jump off your shoulders onto the bed and but

as they do that they give you a massage and the older ones you can teach sort of step up and down they just feel like they're dancing on you but actually it's like a massage yeah no I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is th is th is th is the their the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to toeeeeeeeeeeeeeee to to to to my stiff neck it could this could go either way. I'll tell you someone else try first and then yeah I'll have a go but I'll say I'll say nowhere above the kind of mid-back please. Yeah but do you want if you want to take it to the next level the head no plank while they do it. Blank you weren't planking while they do it. Bloody you weren't planking while they do it, were you? Yeah, I was right, four seconds, right? Because it's good to plank, isn't it? It's good to plank.

And you're planking, it is so painful. If anyone don't know, it's so painful. If you're theat, it's so painful. It's like, you're it. I was like, yeah, come on, I'll do that. And then as I do that, I'm like, hurry up! Are you getting much exercise, Rob? I'm not walking. That's all I'm doing at the moment. I'm a bit too tired to do anything like running or anything.

I've got an exercise bike that we moved from like the upstairs office room where I've recalled this because we weren't doing it, it weren't with the kids into the front room, still not used it, it's just downstairs now, just staring at it. Oh, you moved it so that it was more... In my face, to do it. In your face. I moved it to shame me and I've just accepted the shame. Oh wow. To be fair, last week was a horrific week, we were so to be a to be a to beaa. toea. toea. to be a to be a toea. toea. toea. to be a toea. toe. toea. toea. toea. I, to bea, to bea, to bea, to bea, thi. thioliolomea, to bea, to bea, to bea, to bea, thoomomomomome. thoomomome. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I, I, I, I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thin. I'm, thin. thin. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo week, and we were so anxious and stress. And also the way you get these vaccinations bookings, for what is such an important thing, it feels so chilled, like yeah, coming at one, I'm like, okay, and I was like, yeah, London Bridge, like the vaccination centre, I'm like, what? And then you drive up there and it's like a big mark in, it feels like something from the war? So did you th. th. th. Lose medical condition, we've got a respite bubble.

Of course. And so that's what helped as well. That started yesterday because the youngest had been out of school two weeks or 10 days in order for that. You know, you have to do that. So that the grandparents weren't at risk. We had to make sure she hadn't isolated for 10 days. So with that she did that that that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. the grand. the grand. they. that. they. tooe, toe, toe, tooom. to be tooome, to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to bea. to bea. to beaugh. to beaugh. to bea, to bea. to bea, to bea, to bea, to bea, to bea, to bea, to bea. to bea, to bea. So, tooen, tooen, tooen, tooen, tooen, tooen, their, their, their, tooome. tooome. tooomeananananananananananananananananed. toea. toeananananananananed. toeaseenole. we drove up and did that. And I waited outside in the cold for an hour and a half. And I waited outside, for an hour and a half. the to'n. In what was not a warm enough jacket. I dressed for the car. I dressed for the car. Let's be honest. You waited outside on your own. the cold. You must have been fucking loving it. the tho. I. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to be. to be. the the too. the the the the the the the the the the the tooo. the the the the the cold. the cold. too. too. too. too. the cold. the cold. the cold. the cold. the cold. the cold. the cold. the cold. the cold. the cold. the cold. the cold. the cold. the cold. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t the t the t the the cold. And also at one point, I went to walk past Tower Bridge

and I weren't breaking the law because I was allowed to be up there. Oh my God, what an absolute joy that must have been. I felt a bit like, you know, like films where like it's sort of, I have a California man or someone's been in the cave forever or someone's been transported over from another country and they get let loose in New York or London. I was crocodile, do you know? Crocodone Dundee? Ill, ill dress, lovely life with a blade just in case. It's London and everything, is London?

The other thing I'll be doing, Josh as well, to make things better and more exciting when I'll get fed up. Also there's nothing exciting happening. I, this takes, Lou thinks I'm insane for this this, this, this, this, this, there's nothing exciting happening. I, this takes, Lou thinks I'm insane for this, but I think it's quite good. I try to think of really exciting moments for other people and try and daydream and channel it as if I was them. So the other day I imagined that my job was making and selling cardboard and cardboard boxes, and I was at a party and I got introduced to Jeff Bezos. Sorry, can you start th again? Have you lost your fucking mind? What's going on? You sound like Lou.

So basically what you do is, you think of someone. So is this all happening in your own head? Yeah, I'm just sort of laying there? Or you know, when you're doing this in bed? Sometimes you be bed, sometimes on a walk, really like it's almost like lucid dreaming and awake. Just watch YouTube mate. I've watched it all Josh. There's nothing left. I'm not watching it. I'm not starting from the top beginning. The most insane thing I've ever seen on YouTube in my life. Yeah, what was it? It's a clip of the late late breakfast show which was not what it was like the Noel Evans thing before Noel's house party. I would implore you, everyone at home right? Go on, go on, the the the the the to to to the to to their to their their to their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not watching. I'm not watching. I'm not house party. I would implore you everyone at home,

right, go on, go on YouTube, type in the words Noel Edmonds stunt crash. When you've got three minutes, 29 seconds away from your child, you go on YouTube, type in Noel Edmunds stunt crash and it is a live TV thing in which two members of the public are attempting toing to do that evil-can-evil thing where you go over a load of cars from a ramp. And it is one of the most astonishing things I've ever seen in my life. So, obviously I'm not going to watch it now, but I, I, that is my tip to all parents is watch that video. Quite a weird end to the conversation because you've not seen the video, Rob. No, I'll watch it.

Let's just have you live react to it. Type it in, Rob. Okay, fair enough. Just put Noel's stunt crash. This is a bit bleak, Josh this is not. So John Peel's doing the commentary. Edmonds is in the studio. John Peel's on location doing the commentary. So Guy Skippen in an escort, is this right? Yeah, so this is a member of the public. Just describe what you're seeing. I'm just seeing a car, a green car drive along a, looks like a runway type thing. It's going very fast. And it's now going over a big ramp and it's a horrific crash. And it's the people's now the the there's there's going there's now. there's now. there's now. there's now. there's now there's now. there's now there's now there's now there's now there's now there's now there's now there's now the there's now the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their th. th. their th. th. their th. they. the the the the the th. the the the the th. their loads of people just stood there watching so the

car's going into, oh my god, there's fire injured, this is horrific Josh. No one got hurt Rob. This was on live TV. This is on live TV. Bear in mind what you're allowed to do on League of their own, Rob. And the health and safety, they have put this on live TV. So they're going again? They're going again? They're going again, they're going again, Bob. It can't go badly the second time, can it? Here we go. So this is first one and oh it's worse! Why have they done it's worse? And he didn't get hurt either? No he didn't get hurt either. Honestly, they are like some of the worst car wrecks I've ever. It. It. It. It. It. It. It th. It, it. It, it. It, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, so thi, so thi, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the the th, the the th, the th, th, th, the th, the the th, thi, thi, the thi, their their their theei's theiiii's theiiiii's thii. thi's thi. thi, they are like some of the worst car wrecks I've ever seen. It's one of the most astonishing clips I've ever have ever, how I have never seen that before in my life. And why do you watch that to make you happy? But come on Rob! It's all the most hilarious things I've ever seen in my life. Only because they're okay. Everyone's fine but the thought that that was put on Saturday night night night night night night night night night on night night on night night night night night on night on night on night night on night on night on night on night on night night on the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the but the thought that that was put on Saturday Night Entertainment in the 80s, live and Noel Edmonds is making jokes about whether they're

going to be okay. You know what, I don't think the good old days were good old days. They weren't good old. Now Rob, read the newspapers mate because the 70s were not good old days either. You know, compared to what they did in the 70s th, that's, th, th, the, th, th, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, their, their, their, thi, thi, their, their, their, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, their, their, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their their their thee, they's, their they's their their they's thoooooooooooooooomeree, thee, compared to what they did in the 70s, that isn't too bad, isn't it? At least it was only adults in the car. It's gonna be a lot worse. Do you know what? That is what I'm doing while you're pretending to sell a fucking cardboard box to Jeff Bezos. Well, no, I just imagine how excited would it be biggest buyer of cardboard boxes in the world. Imagine the exhilaration. And what are you saying to him? I've got Bezos, who does your boxes?

How much of pain? I'll do you a deal. Just give me something. Just let me do the prime ones. Just let me do something. Just let me do the little ones. I, because what I think I missthey all turn up and one of your mates turns up drunk, you would be, you know, that little fizz you get of just life, a little, when you sit by a pool

when you get an holiday, all the little things you do when you go into a club and the song you like comes on, which you know, generally haven't you done that for 18, but that, but that kind that kind that kind trying to get that from being a man who sells cardboard boxes and he's selling them to Jeff Bezos. Yes. Don't you get that can't feel that excitement? Yeah I can't feel that. Or if I lost it? No, no I mean I just think, I just think, imagine that, oh, imagine the thrill and he gets home and goes, oh he never gets who are I don't recognize. I the the the th th th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I just just just just just just just just just just just don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I th. I can't feel. I can't feel. I can't feel. I can't feel. I can't feel. I can't feel. I can't feel. I can't feel. I can't feel. I can't th. I can't th. I can't th. I th. I can't th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Can't feel. I th. Can't feel. I th. Don't feel. Don't feel. Don't feel. Don't feel. Don't feel. I th. Don't feel. I th. I th. I th. I th. I can't well, man, Bezos. I just eat you know. You'd know, mate. Yeah. Yeah, it's actually, you know the prime logo that is actually modeled on his face? He wears blue lipstick all the time. It's just classic, Bezos. You can do what you want. Josh, should we hear from our listeners? Because I don't think we've done it, have we yet? You've got some emails for us? Yes, here we go. Okay, you're going to enjoy this. No, I'll do that in a minute.

I'll start with some lighter stuff, but there is something that will blow your effing mind, Rob. Which I'll do in a bit. Okay, so this how he giggled. You know, when the said fake steamer ended up on the floor on the TV remote in our bed, the shower, topped the cooker in the microwave. Well, one morning, I begin work at 6 a.m. I work on a news website. I came downstairs to find the plastic poo placed perfectly on the living room floor. I've not taken to the to to to to to to the to the to to to the the the to the to their their to their their to their their their their their their thoes. I'd thoomorrow thoomorrow thoomorrow thoes. I'd thoomorrow thoomorrow thoom. I've the the the the the their their their their their their their their the plastic. I've the plastic the plastic the plastic the plastic the plastic the plastic the plastic the plastic the plastic the plastic the plastic the plastic. I was. I was. I've the plastic. I've the the the. I've the. I've thathea. I've thathea. I've thate. I've together. I've together. I've together. I've together. I've together. I've together. I've together. I've together. I'm. I'm today. I'm today. I'm t room floor. I've not taken part in much sport as I might and with no one around I figured I'd boot

it with some imaginary top bins for my beloved Wolverhampton Wanderers, a proper last minute outside of the box steamer. Fate was laughing though as no sooner had my bare foot touched what would have been the factory produced poo. It quickly became clear this was poo. Who's poo? I don't know he said actually. You've got to say! Yeah, it was cats. It was the cats poo. Oh he's booted cat shit first thing. It was relatively fresh, still soggy and warm and it flew at all angles. Oh God, it's going everywhere in it. Exploding round and between my toes.

Oh my God, the only way that could have been worse if he eat it with a potato masher. Like that's the only way you get more flatter. Well yeah but at least that's going to go down. This way you're trying. It's like it's like you know that scene in Mr Bean where it explodes the painting. I think that's the worst thing you could could go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go that's going. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. thi. thi's going the the the the the the thi. thi. they. the the the the the the the. the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the. the the the the the the the the the painting. I think that's the worst thing you could do to it in a room. Yeah, I think so. Maybe a golf club? Like, like if you... Oh yeah, that game. That's the club and not your foot?

Yeah. Have I told you my dog poo, job interview? Uh, somewhere. Actually, I think it was my first ever writing job. It was for like a proper company that wanted like funny things written for their website or I think they're making greeting cards anyway, right? So I was supposed to go up and write jokes about the company for them to use wherever. Anyway, so I was all really excited. I went the summer. I was wearing espradur drills th, I'm a th and'm southeast London. I went eschews and I run from my train at Lewisham Station

and I was on running, right, I sort of feel something a bit weird, I think, oh what was that? Anyway, I get on the train, I sit down, what's that smell? And I look down, and I, I'm intrudded it, I've just sat down and I look at my eschew and there is, it's like a dog's done it on my shoe, right? Like a point at the end of your shoe, like you're a kind of elf. Yeah, yeah, so that, yeah, I've just sort of got, I haven't got all of it, but I've got a lump, and I'm like, the try and I'm like, it's, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it, it's, it's, it's, it, it's, it's, it, it's, it, it's, it's, it's like, it's like, it, it's like, it, it's like, it, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it't know what to do because it's like I can't get it out the train. Do you know what I mean?

So I just sort of sit there and I've got like a bit of new, I've got a bit of a newspaper, the free newspaper and just sort of got it off and put it in a ball and left it under the seat. Right. Anyway, get off and then, I basically, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I've, I've, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,tried to go into Nex to buy some new shoes, but that was shut, I was at Charing Cross. In the end, I just went to because I was running late for this job and everything, I just went to the office and just went to the toilet and I just washed an esperadrule and I just washed an esproo in the sink. Oh my God. And then I washed it. and it just had this and I just tell it when I spilt coffee on my foot. Do you know what? That you've done well there? I like that I say I'm a pressure player, Josh.

Do you want me? I find it absolutely astonishing that you would attend a job interview in a white Esperdrue. And this is a job interview to work in the bar at Ocean Beach. I did gigs in shorts and flip-flops. Yeah, I mean, the dis-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I th-I-I th-I th-I think-I thirty-I thuankishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishish, I'm thia thia thia thia thia. I'm thia. I'm thia. I thage. I thage. I thage. I thage. I thage. I thage. I th-aa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s. I th-s. I th-a-a-a-a-a- the high-state, you know, people have come to see you, fair enough, you get to wear what you want. Go into a job interview and an asper drill, a white espra drill. Yeah, but it was media when it was creative. I was a creative guy, wasn't there? What are you pairing it with your trousers and your... I think it was shorts and a t-shirt, yeah. Did you get the job? Hang on, what's, I can hear someone's talking to me, what's going on here? Well, I can hear Yurgan Klop. Hang on. Have you left a YouTube on?

Yeah, I left YouTube on. That's how they got the chief medical officer at Liverpool has gone, Virgil's back in the team. He's recovered from his injury. Imagine that. Your own man whose job is developing shin pads and you bump into your shin pads. And you can't tell him to be your shin pads. No, but so, look, Shult's at a gig, yeah. I probably wouldn't do it now, but I was young and it's a summer, but you know I was sick all the boring old comedians in hiking boots. How big do you think the fucking stages, mate? Got a bit of normal shoes on our trainers. I saw a comedian, uh, one of the best comedians in the UK,

who I love and loved growing up. He did a gig in walking boots. And I was like, Stuart Lee? No, no, no, no, no, Dylan. Oh, Dylan. And you're going, come on. Are you one of the coolest comedians there is? You made smoking cool and now you're going on stage and walking boots. I'm gonna be wrong. I've got walking boots now, yeah? I go walking, but I won't wear him on stage. Do you know what I hate?

Comedian's on stage outfit, Yeah, oh, I hate you. The worst is a wallet in the back that's been in the same pocket that's little holes where the wallets worn away. You're pathetic little rat. Get a bag. Who do you think you are? The outline of your phone? Awful. Sometimes I'll let them off if it's a comedy club in a rough area and they don't want to leave it backstage, right? On a tour show, take your keys in your pockets.

Do you want to trust your tour manager? If someone hasn't got show shoes for a tour, I've got no respect for him. You take a pair of shoes that you don't wear anywhere else apart from on that stage, so they're nice and fresh, yeah, more to make it easy. I just basically pick an outfit for that tour and I'll buy two or three versions of it and I'll always have that on me in case I spilled something on me and then when one's getting cleaned I've got the other. But I'll only get, I'll buy one pair of new shoes I'll wear four tour and leave them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them the their their their their their th. th. And th. And th. And th. And th th th. And th th. And th th. th. th th th the the the the the th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two th. And I'll th. And I'll th. And I'll th. And I'll th. And I'll th. And I'll th. And I'll th th th th th th th th th th the or the or the or thea thea' thea' thea' thea' thea' thea' thea' the or the or the or the or th email in the most lazy thing you've seen a comedian wearing. Now, Mike Shinks. Shinks, oh Shinkie!

When our kids were younger, we used to go away with four other families every December. We'd celebrate Christmas early and Father Christmas would text Fran, my wife, to say that he'd left a few pre-Christmas things for all the kids somewhere in the house. Oh, that's nice of him. To make this plan complete, Fran changed my name and her phone to Father Christmas, so she could prove to the kids who the message was from. All worked well until later the next day, when my two boys, Dan and Tom were playing games on Fran's phone. They wandered into the kitchen and said, Father Christmas has just texted. He said,. the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the their, their, tho, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, fr. So, fr. So, fr. So, fr. So, fred, fred, fred, fred, fred, fred, fred, fred, fred, fred. And, th. And, th. And, themed, themed, thee. And, thee. And, thee. And, thee. thee. toed, too, tooomea'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'a'n'a'n'a'a'a'a'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n' mom, Father Christmas has just texted. He said he's in Morrison's buying toilet paper, do you want any carver?

Ah, he don't stop, does he, old Santa? He's a good, he's a good bloke. Do you want any carver as well? Mike Shinks is having a lovely Christmas, isn't he? Oh, shit you're missing about, toilet roll and carver, I'm feeling lucky tonight. Can I read you something that's going to blow your mind? Yeah. Okay, I wanted to share a story with you about my best friend.

Six years ago, this is from Shelby Wines. All right. Which sounds like somewhere that you'd make a panic order of a gift to just before Christmas. Yeah, all the other, all the other Majestics fully booked. Yeah, I got to go to Shelby Wines. I don't know, I've never used in the base of the Midlands, I seem all right. I wanted to share a story with you about my best friend. Six years ago, she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl but she had no idea she was pregnant until she was delivering in the hospital. I never

understand this this is always in the news how's this work? So this is a full story. It was an insane experience that I think your listeners would enjoy. I remember the very day I got a phone call for my best friend right as I was leaving work, saying, hey, come to the hospital and meet your niece. I thought she was being funny. I said, ha ha, what animal did you buy this time? She said, no, seriously, I know you don't believe me, but I had a baby. Just come to the hospital. That is the only way you will believe me. I thought

that she was playing a prank on me. So begrudgingly got in my car and drove to the hospital parking lot. When I got there, I was actually quite annoyed because I wanted to get home. So I called her again and asked where she was. She said, come to the fourth floor, room. to the fourth floor. I realized I was in the baby ward. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She was th. She was th. She was th. She was th. She was th. She was th. She was th. She was th. She was th. She was th. She was th. She was th. She was th. She was th. She was th. She was th. She was th. She was th. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She was. She was. She was th. She was th. She was th. She was the. She was the. She was the. She was the. She was the. She was the. She was the. She was the. She was thed. She was the. She was the elevator. When I got to the fourth floor, I realized I was in the baby ward. I started to freak out a bit, but I was still not sold. I went to the table and asked the nurse if she knew where my friend was, and she said, Room 13, crazy story, eh? Now I started to half-believe her. I took a breath outside the door and walked into the room, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, the room, the room, the room, the room, the the the the the the the room and there she was with a beautiful baby girl. The first thing that came out of my mouth was can I see her hospital bracelet just to make sure?

It was crazy. My friend's mom and sister in the room and everyone was just in shock and all. The second thing that came out of my mouth was how? He started to talk about the last nine months. I'd only been home from England for the last six months. In that six months, we played soccer together, where she'd fractured an ankle and got an essay, at x-ray, we'd eaten sushi, we'd been going to parties and drinking occasionally. Oh no, all that flashback, what did I do? We went to Mexico on location only a month before she gave birth. In Mexico we went cliff jumping. Oh my God! And on an ATV adventure, I don't know what ATV is. Oh my God, this kid is hardy. Did this kid go on to appear in Noel Edmond's Late Lake Lake Breakfast Show or a thumb rider? This kid can take some licks.

My best friend was doing everything you shouldn't when you're pregnant. We were 24 at this time. She could have potentially given birth in Mexico. I cannot even imagine the phone call to her parents. I was so confused about how she didn't know. We talked to her and she said she had had her period every month and saw no signs at all. We looked at pictures to see if there was any weight gain. She'd maybe put on five or six pounds, but not noticeable at all. Even pictures in Mexico in bathing suits didn't even show anything noticeable. How small was the baby? I don't know. The only thing she can pinpoint is that a few days prior she was she was very tired and didn't know why. The day of the birth she started feeling pain in a stomach originally thought it was a gallbladder or pancreas. She said the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their is their is their is their is theirse. She was th. She was th. She was th. She was th. She was th. She was to have thi. She was thi. She was th. She was th. She was thi. She was thi. She was thi. She was thi. She was thi. She was thi. She was thi. She was thi. She was thi. She was thi. She was th. She was th. She was th. She was th. She was th. She was th. She was t. She was tip. She was tip. She was tip. She was tip. She was ta. She was ta. She was ta. She was ta. She was too. She was too. She was too. She was too too tea. She was tea. She was tea. She was ta. it was gas pains, but then thought it was a gallbladder or pancreas.

She said the pain got worse as the day continued. She asked her sister to drive it to the hospital. When she got to an emergency, she said she needed to go to the bathroom. She said she thought she needed a poo but gave a push, felt weird, looked downto deliver her baby right there and then. Oh my God. Fast forward to now her daughter is healthy and sassy six-year-old. She had no side effects from anything that the mom did that she wasn't supposed to. She's in grade one doing very well at school.

I couldn't imagine life without her. So there's two things here, like hear me out before anyone criticised me. This lady's like a machine, like a superhero, someone from like Avengers or something. Yeah. Or actually, you know, being pregnant's all in your ed and it isn't that bad. You know, like maybe it's old about it and you hear all the horror stories actually, if you didn't know you you wouldn't even notice. Psychosomatic, is that what you're saying? I think pregnancy is a placebo. You know, don't quote me on that, but from the evidence I'm getting, perhaps it's a big fuss over nothing. That's, that's one angle. I'm not saying that's what I think. Yeah, yeah, you just obviously. You know what you know, when you do say, when you do say, when that,? People say, don't be so ridiculous, but in this case, it sort of is.

Is it? Would you agree? Do you continue with me on this? That would you say, personally, pregnancies are fuss over nothing? Uh, well, using this sample? Yeah, as a sample size. But if you're judging it from just this one sample, I think your conclusions would only.. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, thi, thi, thi. I. You. You. I. You. You. I, thi. You. I. I. thi. thi. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. to me. thin, to me. to me. to mea. to mea. to me, would, would to me, would to me. to me, would to me, would thin I think your conclusions would only be able to go one way Yeah, well, let's open it up then if anyone's got any more examples like this that can support this claim That is an astonishing story isn't it?

If anyone wants to support Josh's claim that pregnancy is gonna write. It's one of the most amazing stories. That's amazing. Amazing. Do you want some anonymous confessions about people at the school gates? Oh yes please, this would be great. Okay. There's people that they hate but they're not going to say who they are. This is great. I love this. So hello, happy your new year. I have a submission for your new feature. Please of course, keep me anonymous. This is Sophie Green's story. I'm just, I made that name up. That'd be quite funny if you say I want to keep it anonymous. We'll call them all Sophie Green, okay?

Everyone, this is from Sophie Green. I have two daughters, one aged 15 and one who's six. When my oldest was six, she was being picked on by a nasty piece of work at school. Let's call the bully Izzy. I picked up my daughter from the child's one evening. I picture Izzy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She eats little celebration sweets and just frozen on the floor as she scooters along. Oh my word, she is a piece of work. You know what she once? He's spout on a pigeon, Josh. Which I was quite in awe of the accuracy,

but it's disgusting. Yeah, I picked up my daughter's to'er told, that when walking home from school, my daughter's coat, because Izzy had taken my daughter's coat, put it in a puzzle and jumped on it. Oh my God. It was too wet to wear and it was February and freezing. I was furious. The kid had been out of line to my daughter before but this was too much. I called Izzy's mom and explained what had happened how sad my daughter was and asked her to speak to Izzy's mom said I'm so tired of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of the parents of the parents the parents of their their their their their their to their to to their their to their their to their their their to to to their to told. to their. their. to to told. I was told. I was to to to their. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. their. their. to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. their. their. their. their. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was th. I was th. I was to th. I'm the. I'm the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to the that nothing like this happened again. Izzy's mom said,

I'm so tired of parents calling me to tell me what Izzy has done at school. At school she's their responsibility. Oh what? Here you can tell her yourself and put Izzy on the phone. Oh my God! For me to deal with, what would you have done in that situation Rob? What pathetic person that is, how obvious is that that Izzy is to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that is to to that is that is to that is to to that is that is that is to to that is that is that is that is that is that is that is to that is that is that is he to that is to to to to to to to to to that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is the the to the too? too? told? to to that is the told? that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that you have done in that situation, Rob? What pathetic person. How obviously that Izzy rules that house where you've had to put on the phone like she's got any saying this? Fuck off. I'd be furious. I'd expect Izzy and a mom to come to my house to apologize to my daughter on the doorstep. What would you do, Rob, uh, when you were put on the phone with Izzy? I'll say hello Izzy. Hi. Hello Izzy. What happened today at school with... Couldn't give a fuck mate? What with the coat? Yeah, what happened with the coat? What did you do that? Why did you do that? Why did you do that? Why did you say a show of power? But also because I've been badly brought up. Yeah, I'd say so too. Do you know what what what what what what what what is is is is is is is is. Is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Is he's is their is to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Is th. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I th. I th. I's is. I's. I th. I's. I th. I's th. I was. I was. I's tho. I was. I's thooooo. I's. I thooooooooo. I too. I too. I to to to to to to to to to th say so too. Do you know what? Is he his little thing? Do you know what you are? You're a little k-kut and your mummies as well.

See you later. Phone down, Headmaster. What, you're sent to the headmaster? I'll go to the headmaster and go, right, we need. Yeah, and am I wrong? Are you disputing it? I've got a switch. I'm a nice guy, but I'm I can go. I can lose my head with stuff like that. If it's anything to do with my like wife and kids, I can really turn, Josh. Can you? I'd find it very difficult to, I told you I'd nearly had a fight on the school run the other week before school shut when that broke, he broke, drive along basically and if you want to drive your kid to this school, the primary school, you can drive in and drop them off or you can park in the side road. Anyway so we walk along the pavement and it's a dip that goes into like an old people's

home. I'm walking along on the side, he pulls over and like mounts the lowered curb bit half and half. So basically my daughter had to swerve out the way of the car and I just went, what are you fucking doing mate? But like quite escalated. I went, I went, I'm trying to walk it, the scooters going here, part around the corner. I went, I'm only being quick, I mean you shouldn't be here at all, fuck off. Like that, did you? Yeah, he did it. Josh, it was so dangerous right? There was kids there, right? And he went into it. And anyway, and then I went to the traffic lights, and then they were red, you know, for the for the people walking across the glasses on. Yeah, yeah, no, but in the the the the the the they. It it it it. It they. It they. It they. It they. It was, it. It was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was in a they. Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. It was, Josh. Josh. It. It. Josh. It. It. Josh. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was in. It was in. It was in. It was in. It was in. It was in. It was in. It was in. It was in. It was in. It was in a. It was in a. It was in a. It was in a. It was in a. It was in a. Josh. It was. It was in I got to the traffic lights and then they were red, you know, for the people walking across. So great for the cars.

Yeah, no, but in the situation they're in, it was green for the cars, right? So obviously this bloke, I've embarrassed this bloke because he knows what he was doing, Josh, was totally out of order. Me swearing was out of order, but I go a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit, I go a bit, I go a bit, I go a bit, I go a bit, I go a bit, I go a bit, I go a bit, I go a bit, I go a bit, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I'm, I'm a bit, the situation, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, but the situation situation, I'm, but in situation, but in situation situation, I's the situation, I's the situation, I's the situation, I's, I's the situation, I's the situation, I. But, I. But, I. But, I's, I. But, I's, I, I's, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, the situation, I'm a bit, th. th. th. the situation, th. thi, thi, the situation, thi. thi. that, the situation, the situation, the situation, I'm the situation, the situation, I'm the situation, I'm the situation, you know that's my go-to and anyway so he knew he'd done wrong I could tell he's a little bit posh and he didn't like I don't think anyone had to fuck off probably for about 15 years so the green for the cars he goes to be he stops it goes like walk you can walk if you want like I'm wait like you know sort like an apology yeah yeah you go I went no we're waiting for the green man to to to to to to to to to to to to go to go to go to to to go to go to go to go to to go to to to to to to to the the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th the the the the an they too the they they they. they. they. they. they. I the they. I went no we're waiting for the green man fuck off you didn't I'm fucking off again wrong this is good do you know what oh neither of you are coming out of this well no I admit what I did was petty then but then it was I shouldn't

I agree of everything I did apart from the swearing I shouldn't have sworn and I would apologize to that I agree I agree that I shouldn't, look, I agree of everything I did apart from the swearing, I shouldn't have sworn and I would apologize to that. I agree that you shouldn't be crossing on a red man as well. No, exactly, because what, so what is the rules here that you swerve over on the pavement? And then, and then what I teach my can't, so Izzy, I'm already angry, I'll be angry about Izzy all day. The amount of cardboard Jeff Bezos thinking I'm going to have to do later to bring me out of this is going to be quite extreme. We've found a new level of anger. There is a level of Southeast London, isn't that? Well yeah, it's something I'd try and suppress. And I'm not not hard not hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard. imagination? There was no way what I was claiming at any point. I can loudly go

into sort of swearing and being sounding quite aggressive where I'm not really being that aggressive but that's just me to show my displeasure but I don't really have any other way to express it? Yeah no no. I don't know how else you'd say that like but I shouldn't have swore I don't know my daughter because she's hurt herself to go away because she doesn't have how else to express it it it it it that to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s-s. I s s s s s s s s s s-s. I'm s-I their. I'm s-I their. I'm s-I their their their their their their their their their their their their. I's their their. their their their. their their. their their their their. I I I their their. I their. I their. I's their. I's their s s s s s s. I'm s. I'm s. I'm s. I'm s. I'm s. I'm s. I'm s. I'm s. I'm s. I'm s. I'm s. I'm s. I'm s. I'm s. I'm s. I'm s. I'm s's hurt herself and she's angry at the pain so she shall go away because she doesn't have how else to express it. Yeah. It's the same with you. Yeah, obviously you're 35. Yeah, exactly. So I need to work on that, but I think I'm still happy with what I did, but I shouldn't have sworn. Yes. Because then that undermined that that undermines your argument. I think the biggest crime of all really was the man who thought that you should let people cross on a red man.

Yeah that's insane. I was like you've, but I knew I'd add him then. I was like your red's gone mate. You're red's gone mate. You're red's gone, mate. Green, for you're saying off you go. you're saying off you go. What we're trying to the man in that car. So we've got one more Josh before we have. Yes, should have a nice one, Grend? Yes, have a nice one. Come on, let's do this. I feel like it's

going to start of good news now. All the vacillations rolling out, but I can see some daffodils coming out my garden. It's going to get warmer. Sure it. Hi, Rob and Josh. Greetings from Jakarta, Indonesia. Oh, we're going global, mate. There we go. I'm one of the many people who's been helped by the Philip Perry episode, but I would guess not in the same way as most. I am 26 and don't have kids. But moved back in my parents for what was supposed to be

a few months before moving to Australia to study in April, but that was put off indefinitely due to the pandemic up until now. Before this I'd happily lived on my own for two years. It's been a massive adjustment to living back with them, especially with losing all the independence I had before, I'm being stuck with them all day, every day in lockdown. Anyway, the Philip Perry episode really reminded me that my parents were once kids also, who have been shaped and messed up in their own ways by their own parents. And even if they don't always think in those terms themselves, keeping that in mind has helped me to remember that they are also just trying their best.

Basically what he's saying, Rob, is he's Philip a Perry his own parents. He's Philip prepared his own parents. I think that I don't even think that was possible. He's gone backwards and implemented it. Yeah exactly. So he doesn't force his dad to wear a coat. Exactly. He doesn't force his dad to her coat. When his dad's angry he doesn't shout his dad but talks to his dad about that anger. And also, he always explains to his dad why he's made decisions because I think that's great. Yeah, yeah. That's nice. I've glad he's enjoyed it. Yeah, I think, you know, it's always nice to end with someone who's got something out of these episodes. My parent, I was going to say my parents listen to the Philip of Perry and she wouldn't, I listened to that Philip Perry.

My mom was fuming, she was, well, I've done it all wrong, haven't I? I think she knows best. I've done it all wrong, have I? And I was like, well, no, it's all subjective. But she did answer your question, Josh, how my parents listened to it in the dark, right? and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, I. to. to. their. to. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their, I. their, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've. their. their. their, well, well,play, full sex and then bang it on. No, they didn't say that. They said they listen to it in the dark, right, as they're going to sleep, but they listen to all of it because they turn it off when it ends.

Oh, there we go. There they're laying there in the dark. They're not staring at stuff, because this is the end of the episode. Yes, and go to sleep and also as well, my parents are currently, do you know what their sleep pattern is, Josh, for 76 years and my mom's 66 10 year gap, I know disgusting. They're going to bed two, three a. I'm waking up at 11 a.m. 10, 30, 11. Wow.

Two, three a thi. Bin' a binge watching stuff and then getting off about 10 11 in the morning. That's not what Nan's do, is it? Nan the Granddad's do? No. What are they binge watcher? Anything, mate, they are absolutely love it. They've got TV, Paul Sinhar's TV show down. They love that.

It's a show I do on Saturdays on ITV. Now they're just obsessed with Robbecket. Rob Beckett. Oh, can I do some plugs for tele shows I've got on Josh? I think we should, do you know what? I think we should be, we should be plugging our stuff because we're plugging other products. It's a missed opportunity if we don't. I'll do mine first. TV show down Saturday nights, ITV. Really funny quiz show with Paul Cineart fun for all the family. Robin Romesh versus is coming back. Thirdthe Feb on Sky we do drag tennis and art and that's really funny steps go dating is back it'll be on now actually it starts Monday I think I think that's about it yeah watch all those please um yes last legs on the moment but hypothetical is back February the 12th on Dave at 10 p.m. me and James

Acaster lots of great guests series three I suppose that's it isn't yeah that's it just you know when we've got other the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the that that the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th the the the the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee the, series three. I suppose that's it, isn't it? Yeah, that's it. Just keep in. You know, when we've got other things, we shouldn't be shy, Rob. I might be on 24 hours in police custody in a few weeks if people keep putting up onto pavements. That'd be a good watch. We're back on Friday with Paddy McGinnis. See you then guys. Bye.