Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S02 EP22: I'm a parent, get me out of here...

Episode Date: April 6, 2021

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL'S02 EP22: I'm a parent, get me out of here...More misadventures in parenting and beyond...Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks - Rob and Josh xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Looking for a collaborator for your career, a strong ally to support your next level success, you will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue. York you.C.A. Back to school signals a fresh start for students. New classmates, new teachers, new lessons. Change is in the air. But one thing hasn't changed.

The forward government still isn't investing in public schools. Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the supports they need. They can't wait another year. If the forward government won't change, it's time to change the government. Our kids are counting on us. Join us at Building Better Schools.C.A. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. Hello, I'm Josh Riddickham. And I'm Robbeckin. Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell. The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. And to make a little tricky. So in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation,

and to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest none of us know what we're doing. Hello you are listening to lockdown parents in hell with Leon can you say Rob Beckett? Yay! I know. Can you say Rob Beckett? Beckett. Beckett.

And Josh. Widdickum. There we go. That was Leon. Was that a real horse? I don't know. If it is, it's well-trained. On cue that was. He just slapped its ass and it made for him I love your podcast been listening to all through lockdown when your feature with kids introducing you started my son wasn't speaking yet

But he is now and I tried to get him to say your names was very good attempt sorry about the horse Interruption we live in the mountains of Grand Canaria and our neighbor has a horse. No way, real horse in Grand Canaria! Oh wow! I didn't know they had horses in Grand Canaria. I thought it was a strictly Glaswegian holiday in policy in Grand Canaria. Yeah, I don't know much about Granteria. Oh, Glaswegians love the Canary Islands. I went to Tenerife. I went to T'd plan to keep him off nursery so we could all celebrate.

We've just completed 10 days of isolation after COVID case it is nursery, so we've sent him back. There we go. That is good. Anyway, Josh, I think we should set the scene of what we're doing here. Easter Monday. It's Easter Monday. I don't know any other podcast that records at 9 a tham. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. to. to. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to toe. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toe. toe. the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. th. the the th. the the tode. today. today.e.e.e.e. today. today. today. today. to. to. to. to. today. to. that records at 9 a.m. I've never heard of a 9 a.m. No, but let's be honest, Acastron Gamble are still in bed. Not together. Together. Together. Oh, no, why don't they got to get that slick chemistry? You can't talk someone about what they want for dinner at 9 a.m. is he? Oh, I don't know what Buxton's up to. He's all over the Gaff Buxter. You never know when he's

going to pop out an episode, do you? Now is it quite random the Buxton one? Say what you want about us, we are there for you. the I am. As soon as I finished drinking it, I made another one immediately, which I think is a sign of a long day. Rob, Rob, Rob, you are going to have a crap. I've told you that I can't drink coffee because it makes me depressed. Yeah, but that happens to everyone, but there's a great high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high. I just, last week I lapsed back onto coffee.

So you weren't having any coffee before? I was on tea because I can't handle the highs and the lows of coffee. Is tea just a constant caffeine buzz in but not nothing to be? T's fine. Yeah, you're right. What a boring thing to say, but you're right. I've just looked at Adam Buxton's podcasts are all over the shop, Rob. Two weeks and you get Tom Tom Tom Tom Tom Tom Tom Tom Tom Tom to to to to to to to to to to to the shop Rob. Two weeks and you get Tom Allen three days later is Torval and Dean. I mean what's going on here? There is a stiff neck, loose neck divide in the podcast charts. It's quite interesting actually because it's where like the mainstream

and alternative collide where you don't really get that in any other charts. Do you I mean? Like if you look at the music, single charts, it's all quite mainstream music and stuff. But in podcast. I think, I the the the the the the the the th. I the the th. I their. I their. I their. I their. What their their their their th. What's their their th. What's th. What's th. What's their th. What's th thi. What's th. What's th. What's th. What's th. What's th. What's th. What's the. What's the. What's the. What's th- th- th- th- th- th- th. What's th. What's th. What's th. What's th. What's th. What's th. What's th. What's th. What's their. What's their their their their their their their their the. What's the-t. their the-to's their their their their look at the, you know, the music single charts, it's all quite mainstream music and stuff. But in podcast, I think podcast was a real stiff-neck realm, but the loose-nicks are kicking down the door. I reckon Buxen's looked at the analytics and he thought, right, I've had that offer on that that offer on that no one heard of. Let's get to the to to to to the to the to that. Let's get the to that. Let's get the the that. Let's get that. Let's get to to they. Let's get to to to get to get to get to get to get to get to to to to be to be toe. toe. toe' toe' toe' that's. that that toe' toe' toe' toe' toe' to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. the, the, the their their their their their their theirn. their theirn't theirn't the. theananananananananananeteennexxeannexxeannexeannec. toeannec. toeannec. toeannec. toeannec. toeaneaneteenennec. to. I've also, I should say, Josh, this week, I've been accused of being a stiffneck by Lou. Have you? Yeah, I was doing an omelette in a pan and I said, oh, this is a great pan for an omelette. And she went, all right, stiff neck and absolutely speared me.

Oh wow. Oh, wow. Rob, you're going to be so middle class by the age of 50. I think as everyone, as you get older, you slowly get more stiff. Some people start stiffer and the R&E is, obviously as a man you do get less stiff, but in the neck you get incredibly stiffer as you get older and you're fighting that a whole time. I think we should be clearing in case people to listen this for the first time and it feels like we're to to th. to th. to th. to th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. I's th. I's th. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I'm to thi. I'm to to thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the theeeeeeeee code. Who is starting at this episode? Go get yourself back to episode one, your lunatic. I'm not explaining it. Fuck off back to episode one. And then you've got to earn the references. Do we think we should have a previously on lockdown parenting how at the start of

me. Yeah that is quite a good idea actually that go through stuff like because like the trampoline would have been a series finale wouldn't it? Yeah yeah exactly exactly that was a great end to the Christmas finale. Now I've got a story about my actual neck Rob. All right go on. So I went to the park with your daughter on your own with my daughter of course you did I don't go parks on my own anymore. No you don't of course you don't. you don't of course you don't to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the to the the the the to to the the to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go the the the to go to go. I to go. I to go. I to go. I to go. I to go to go to go the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th tho. I to go. I to to to to to to to to to to to to thea. to to toa. a hellaby now, Rob. So, going to the park with other parents, which you can now do, can't you? Yes. Is so frustrating, isn't it? Because you just get snatches of conversation before your children head off in the different directions. Sometimes it can be a saving grace. You cannot complain about that, Josh, because if you're tracked, oh I'm just going to go over there, you can,there you can you know or just say to kid. Oh, did you want to go on the swings and then you're away

So I think you've got to take the rough with a smooth Josh, but you're more sociable. I think than the me Yeah, yeah, I went I went I went to the park for social. Yeah, and all you get is like you start. to to to to to to to to to the the to the to the the to the the to the to the the the the to the the the the the to the the the the the the the the to the the to the to to to the the to the to to to the to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th. th. th. thin. th th thinks. thinks. thinks. thinks. thinks. thinks. thinks. thinks. thinks. thinks. thinks. to thinks. to to the the away. Yeah. And you think, I can't, what age can you just let them run off? In my head, Rob, going to the park before I had a child was sitting on the bench with a latte, talking to another parent while the children got on with it. When does that happen, Rob? So Josh, how old is your daughter? By the way, I can't drink a latte because I get too depressed. So that's never going to happen. He's sat on the bench, depressed of his child. So how old's your kid? Three and a half? Three and a half.

Yeah, so my, yeah, that's about the same age as my daughter, who's three and a half. So she can sort of do to a part now, I know she can deal with it all on her own. But because she's got an older sister, she sort of is semi-watched by her. But what's weird is, my youngest is better on climbing frames than my eldest, just naturally a bit more sort of flexible and agile. So she's fine where I couldn't have left my eldest until she was a bit older. So the truth the truth is though Josh, it doesn't matter now because you've got another one on the way. So you're looking at another three years minimum until you're not desperately stopping them from jumping off the top level of the climbing frame.

Oh my God, Rob. So there's no good news here. So I went to the park. Yeah. There's a big slides, the ones that look like they're in the Soviet Union, which we've talked about before. Yes, yes, yes. Well, you have to climb up a kind of rope ladder maze thing to get to this tube slide. And one of the people I met there, his son, who's a bit older than my daughter, just did it on his own. But my daughter wasn't there yet, quite there yet. So I had to go up with her, Rob, through this rope maze.

And the thing is as well, because we're about the same, I know we'll give you banter for being a bit short, but we're about, I'm five, eight, you're about five, seven or so. It's not far off, but it's quite degrading when you're sort of quite nicely. Yeah, it's fine. It was totally, do you know what the most painful bit was? I had to crawl on the ropes with my knees. The pain of the rope. And the kids just jump on their knees? What is it?

It reminds me of, did you ever have a bunk bed? And you had to go up and bear feet and the pain of the rungs on the ladder, it was rung the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. So I had to crawl up. Yeah. But she was terrified, right? But addicted to it. Yes. So it was. So you had to crawl up every time or once she done it once she could be lit off because I find there's some... Well, she did it four... No, she did it five times. Let's be honest. Five times we went up. to the time. the time she hated it. to. to. thiiiiiii. thi. thi. to. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. to. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the thi. the the thi. the thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. toooooe. soon as we've done the slide. She's got the bus, she's got buzz. Adrenlin junkie. But it was like, honestly, the way she was reacting to it, it was like a celebrity on I'm a celebrity going through like a tank of, you know, and they have to do one of those things where they have to crawl through stuff. Yeah, yeah. It was like that. She was like, she. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the way th. the way th. th. the way th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the way the th. th. th. th. th. th. the the, the, the, honestly, the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way th. th. th. the way the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the feeding her? She have to do it five times for the yogurt. But also there were so many other kids on it and I was the only adult. It's hard isn't it because you don't want to be the parent that just

lets her go and be all like laissez-faire and she smashes her head. She would have just to just frozen. She'd just gone into a standby mode. You know when a theheaa the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. their their tho. tho. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their is is their is their is their is their is their is their is just. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. thea. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes. But there's there's mode and like stops in the middle of the park. You just have to not care what other parents think, but then also sometimes a little bit of judgment does force you into being a bit more relaxed, which you need to be. It's a balance act, Josh. It is. It is. It is. But there was other parents who are like saying to their kids, they were try and try to direct their kids while while while while while while while while while while their kids while... their kids while. their kids. their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're they're they're they're they're they're they're their kids are their th. They're th. They're th. They're th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to the. to to to the. to theea. to to to theea. to thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. their shit. Well yeah, some parents are just idiots though, where it's like, this is, and what annoys me most is, when you're up, they were your kid and there's another kid that's like younger than yours that can't physically do it, and the parents go, oh, it'll be all right, and you're like, the only reason everyone's else's fucking child care. I hate that. I hate that when people go, oh, you've robbed me up now, Josh. When you invite people over, right, and they come around for a little playday,

and their kids young, and they just sit down, have a drink, and then you're having to watch their kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's annoying. bear to see a child hurt themselves and I'm too weak and I'll be up there looking after him and it does my nutting and I sort of hope for a slight injury nothing bad a slight little trip and a grazed knee so that you know makes the parent get into action a bit like a reducer in the opening minute of a football game just stick yeah quick two foot on them just so they know you're there kind of thing I'm not saying that I'm not a a a the to to to the to the to to to the to the to the to the to the to to the to the to to to the the to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to say. I'm not. I'm not. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm toe. I toe. I toe. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th so. I the th so. I the thi. I the the the the thi. I thi. I thi. I'm not so so so. I'm not so. I'm not so. I'm not so. I'm not some. I'm they. I'm soo. I'm soo. I'm soo. I'm soo. I'm somee. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm the. I'm not saying I injure them, but I don't know. That's just to be very clear on that. You're not saying that. You're not saying that. Yeah. I'm not slide tackling an 18 month old to force their parent into action. That's all I'm saying. But if they happen to trip over, you know, the hose that I've left in front of them and have raised slightly in order for their. the parents the parents the parents the parents the parents to their to to to to their their to to their to their to to to their their their to to to to their to to to to to to to to to to to to their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm not. I'm. I'm not. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm not. I'm. I'm. I'm not. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm's just life. Yeah this is this is really bringing up some stuff for you. It's like therapy. So what happened in the end Josh is she well

we got to the tube the tube slide and obviously I've been bent over a lot Rob and wasn't good to the old stiff neck no not at all this tube slide it knocked the neck. It knocked my neck. It was like an osteopath for you, it fixed you. It was an osteopath appointment. Got on the tube slide, the G-forces or whatever it was, swinging around, I was as good as new. Really? Yeah. Well, maybe you just need to relax a bit more and then it will sort of out. Exactly.

Maybe you need to like a young man. I know I'll give you jokes to but I get like a my back gets all tight I hold all my attention in my back and I went to a car approach and that sort of helps but I do think it's because when your kids are doing stuff you like and they make a mistake or do you they make a motion, you get emotion don't you get worried you get worried you want to to tho. you. you. you. you. you. you get a their to get a to get a to get a to get worried to get worried to get a to get worried to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get to get to get a to get to get a to get to to to get a to get to get a to to to to to to to to to their. I'm to their. I'm to get all to get all to get all to get all to get all. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to to to their. I their. I'm to try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm to try. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to so the kid doesn't get panicked. Do you know what I mean? Like if they run out in front of a road, you want to go, but you have to stop like, come here. But inside you're like anxious. I think it's because we're bottling that up, it goes to your neck or your back or stuff like that. Totally. You can't hold your shoulders tight. I know. I do it through my thhra my my my my my my my my my thhra th My th My th My thro my feet through thro my feet through thro my feet through throat throat throat throat throat the. throat the. the. the. the. the. theaters. theaters. the. theaters. theaters. to to to to to stop their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I's not. I's not. I's not. to come. to come. to come. to come. to come. to come. to come. to come. to come. to come. to come. to come. to come. to come. toe. toe. toe. toe. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toe. toe. I toe. I'm to come. I'm like get when I do tour shows my leg I get really bad like pain to my legs because I've got weird at feet like hands spread out and I have

to look all relaxed. You what sorry? Have you not seen my feet? Are we just notes seen my feet? Are we just scouting past that? Yeah I've got my feet I got hands for feet. Yeah basically they spread out their toes they're not as long as fingers they're they're theiredededededededed. they're not ased. they're not aseded. they're not ased. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. they're not ased. they're not ased. they're not ased. they're not ased. they're not ased. They're they're they're they're they're they're they're not ased. They're not as they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're not ased. They're not ased. They're not ased. They're not ased. They're not ased. They're not as longed. They're not as longed. They're not as longed. They're not as longed. They're not as they're not as th. They're not as thi. They're not as thi. They're not as theeeat. They're not as they're not as they're not as they're not as they're not as they're not as they're not as they're not as they just look like toes but they spread out. Is that why your three-year-old daughter is so good at climbing as she inherited them? Genuinely, I think so. Jokes as I am, I can cling to the floor. I used to, I could, on a boat, barefoot, I can cling to it, without moving like a spiderman. What do you thin? my toes will cling to the floor like I'm clinging to a wall. Whoa. And I can shake your hand, I can peel bananas, anyway, I could do that with my feet.

And what was I talking about? Well, I didn't get onto it? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Why did we get on to this? Oh, yeah. Oh, I'll, I to the floor because you can't, the audience can't see that. But if your shoulders are all tense, you can see that someone's tense and stuff.

So all my tension goes through my feet and my legs. Oh my word. But let's get down your slide and knock the tension out. But it's a parent tension. What does possible sound like for your business business. What does possible to sound to power the the the the the the to to to the to to the to to to the to the spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with Business Platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and Conditions apply.

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A membership to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.9 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. I also realized something at the park. I left my, I've got a yo-yo pram. If you got a yo-yo Rob? That's great. Is that the one that folds up and it can go into hand luggage? So it's half broken.

It'll only half fold up. Oh, no. They're great though for tra one because I feel like it's still working. Check it down the slide and see if it knocks it back into place. Oh yeah, it's a good idea. But when I went back to it, because I'd left it in the park, I realized that I was disappointed it hadn't been stolen. I realized that in my head I've been thinking.

Oh, I've an excuse to buy a new one. That is a classic sort of, you don't want to look wasteful. The reality is you need a new buggy. Well, you all know it. But they're expensive. It's like when one of your headphones goes and you carry on the thrown for the last month. Exactly. Just give it up.

You're buying to need a new one for your new baby. Yeah, aren't you? Yeah. So just treat yourself Josh. To a new buggy. I will, I will treat myself. Is this a desperate plea for a freebie on it? Is this what you're doing? It's absolutely not. No, but I'd rather just buy it. it though than have to do a little ad. Do you know? We're very different people Rob. So anyway, let's, you know. Can I talk to you about something, Josh? How have you been? Well, a couple of stories here. I've got one that's not parenting, that's disgusting but quite funny. And I've got a couple of stories about my daughter's dabbling with drugs and cheating. Well, let's go with that. That's Let's go with that. That sounds that. That sounds that. That sounds that. That sounds that. That sounds that. That sounds that. That sounds. That sounds. That sounds. That sounds. That sounds. That sounds. That sounds. That sounds. That sounds. That sounds. That sounds. That sounds. That sounds. That sounds. That sounds. That sounds. That sounds. that sounds. that sounds. that sounds. that sounds. that sounds. that sounds. that sounds. that sounds. that sounds. that sounds. that sounds. that sounds. that sounds. that sounds. that sounds. that sounds. that sounds. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. to start, the the to start, the to start, to start, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. I. I to. I to. I to. I've to. I've to. I've to. I've to. I to. I've to. I've to. I've to. I to. Has it been longer than I think since the last episode, Rob? No, no, she's still five. Now basically, we went, I'll tell what's been nice at Easter Start, socializing in people's gardens.

She's been lovely. We went around to my brothers for a lovely Easter egg, hunt. It was really nice. It's quite difficult. It's quite a difficult thing. Anyway, so we went there and they were all playing and lovely and it was nice, you know, I feel a bit awkward. I don't know how to socialize anymore. I don they were doing hot dogs and burgers and my kids have got a bit of hay fever and a bit of snotty nose and the five-year-old was eating a hot dog with tomato sauce on it and she basically did a line of Brian Will's tomato sauce where as she was eating a hot dog she sniffed and just sniffed up I'd say a teaspoons worth of t in her nose and she went absolutely fucking mental.

She was going it's stinging and it's stinging I was like there's nothing you can do is it? I was like so I gave her a drink because so if you drink it can sort of if you drink it can sort of. Yeah what's the option? Could you not block a nostril out? They don't know how to blow out their nose especially so it looks like blood so they're panicking and you can't just like get the o's and squirt water up there which is what you expect that's how they clear noses isn't it squirting yeah you can't do that no so she oh my god it would but she calm down but it was so you're too busy using the hose to trip over another child well yeah yeah exactly just keep keep everyone on to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their the the to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their they I I I I I try I was I was I was try I try I try try try try try try try try the they they they the they they the to that Rob. What, sniffing the line of tomato sails? Well, I do you know what? I was gonna, I was gonna read this out anyway, but it feels like it's very relevant

to what's just happened to you. This is from Marty coil. Marty coil. Marty coil. If you got the mar-toyle, right, myself and my wife, a parent was a boy and twin girls under the age of seven. Recently something so random happened at home with my son, I questioned if it ever happened before in the history of humanity. Right.

I'd like Marty Coyle. My son was about to lose his first tooth and it was coming up to the last few wobbles before it fell out. I reassured him they might feel a bit strange there be a slight bit of blood but it would all go away immediately and he could pop the tooth under his pillow and await a surprise from the tooth fairy. So far so good. The tooth came out with no real trouble a little blood and he took it all in stride. I was massively proud of it. He was all ready to pop it under his reward. Before this though tho. tho. He tho. He th. He th. He th. He he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he was he was he was th. He was to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to pop. He wo. He was to pop. He was to pop out to pop out to pop out to pop to pop to pop to pop to pop to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. He th. He was th. He was the. He was the. He was tho. He was tooooooooooo. He wo-up too. He wo-up too. He wo-up too-up too to to to to to to too it under his pillow and await his reward. Before this, though, as he'd never seen a removed tooth before, he wanted a closer inspection.

He held it between his thumb and forefinger and brought it close to his face for further examination. He wanted to investigate in great detail. Visual examination was not enough, though, and for a reason unbeknownst to him, he had a sniff. Almost immediately, the tooth got hoovered up into his left mostral. Get out, that's awful. I know it's funny, but imagine that Marty Coil's face. The recold on his nose. Oh my word. For a minute, time stood still as we both looked at each other's eyes in shock. I'd never seen someone snort their own tooth before.

I have once, Macaloo stag do. I can't even imagine what a tooth being lodged inside your nose must feel like. We both looked terrified. Then came immediate tears and panic. He went into a repetitive mantra of saying, I don't want my tooth up my nose. Who does? Yeah, who does? As tears ran down his face, all of a sudden, I went into autopilot, reached my forefinger to his right nostril, pushed it in and screamed, blow your nose now. He complied with gusto and the tooth came shooting out of his other nostril and onto the kitchen floor. Oh, come on Josh, you can't a whip bread in the jungle. I don't know what that means Rob. Oh come on Josh you can't! I'm not interested in the jungle Rob. You've got to sort your fucking priorities out mate. Why? Why? Why?

What you're blurt? It's brilliant. Fat of a whitbread stuck stuck in her head. Right. She had to blow a cockroach out her nose. You've got to remember Rob how you started that sentence. Yeah. With the words it's brilliant and then you followed it with fat and a whip and got cock. Josh, how much joy you getting of this story written on email about a child blowing out of tooth. Imagine watching Ant and Deck cheer on Fat about Whitbread as she tries to snort and sniff out a cockroach. You're telling me that's not TV gold? I'm telling you, um... How have you not seen that you can't work in pop culture comedy with observations of references? I don't work a pop culture comedy. Oh, what do you do? When have you ever heard me

give a pop culture reference in the last year? Josh, if you don't start learning about stuff that's happening now, you're just going to be like that weird comedian, like they're just only dresses in 70s clothes and talks about 70s stuff, but you'll be the 90s. Who's that guy? I don't know, I've just made him up. Oh right, I thought it was an actual guy. I thought it was a bloke we were on the circuit with. But Josh you've got to know to know to know to know to know to know to know to know to know to know the to know the to know the to know the the to know the to know the the the to know the their their th. to th. th. to th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. to. to. to. to. toooooooooooooooooooooooo. the tooo. the. the. the. t. the news as that bloke who still lives in the 90s. Josh, how do you not know about Fat of Whitbread? Because I'm not interested, I'm a celebrity, get me out of here, Rob. Go on YouTube now and watch Fat and the Whitbread.

I'll do it and I'll do it and I'll tell you what happens. You already told me. You don't need to re-watch it, Robbush. You don't to to watch it. to watch it. thage. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm not th. I'm not tho. I'm not tho. I'm not tho. I'm not tho. I'm not tho. I'm not to tho. I'm not tho. I'm not tho. I'm not tho. I'm not the. I'm eyes at night. Right, right the fact of it. Josh, why are you watching it? Well, I genuinely mean this. I think you're one of the only people I know who watches over celebrity get me out of it. And I know a lot of comedians. Yeah, but you don't know normal ones. You know what's the next.

Rob does watch it? He watches it, but he just doesn't tell people about it. He does watch it. He doesn't like the way they treat animals. He don't give a shit about that, mate. Look, let me tell about you. He'll sit on a leather chair before anyone. I've never seen him refuse a seat. Anyway, well, fact, my whip bread sniffed out, because medic Bob had to come in, and he had to use a syringe and put water in and it was horrific. Who did? Oh, fuck it.

Do you not know who Medic Bob is? How can you not watch the jungle? How do you give a shit about it, Rob? It's so good! It's so boring! It's not boring! What do you watch then? watching the evening! What's happening Josh? Football, documentaries. Document, I can watch them as well, but you still allowed a bit of fun. You're still allowed to enjoy yourself.

I do enjoy myself. Fatima Whitbread, it's like the only elephant that did a poo on Blue Peter. Yeah. Yeah, it's like that. It's a classic, it's a classic TV moment, Josh. I don't think it is. Twelve million or watched. I think 12 or 13 million people watched it. It was 12 million, it was 13 million within a second. Yeah, that was like that was consolidated. I did overnight. Right. Sorry, Josh. I thought the YouTube watch and just ticked it over into 30 million people. I just can't believe. It is astonishing.

To be fair, I know I do agree with you a certain point that so many comedians are people that we work with don't watch it Like because when I first did the the spin-off show people are like oh my god you're going on that You're having to pretend to like it. I was like no I fucking love it. This is your USP. This is your USP you're the only comedian like this kind of stuff I'm gonna say this right just to stay on it. I think the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only. Rob I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm the only. Rob I'm I'm I'm I'm the only. I'm I'm the only. I'm the only. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm th. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the only thing worse, well, not the only thing worse, because I don't think it, I think what would be far worse would be a comedian that was watching these things because they felt they had to and they were trying to lever in references to where's from Love Island. And I'm going to say it, I only know yourself, Rob, you've got to be true to yourself. You've got to be, you've got to be honest and true to yourself. And that's probably why this podcast works. I'm saying this to Tom's and Etty the other day, Rob. How do you know Tom's a netty? Because my wife reckons that we should get him on the podcast though. She watched some of it, but she thinks he's amazing and she said you'll know him through

Celebs Go dating. Yeah, basically, he had a kid when he was really young and it was quite a tragic story actually, but anyways, kids grown up with him and he's toured the world as a DJ, but he had to take his son with their their he's inspirational figure. Yes he has also got the best six-pack he'll ever see your life so I can imagine Rose. Oh well here we go here we go he's telling this story you know there's a juggling act of why you follow people on Instagram and Zanetti is motivational but he has also incredibly fit he go he's he's going out with Sophie Hermann't you. You know he's go he's he he he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he he's going he he's going he he's going he he's going he he's going he he's going he he's going he he's going he he's he he's going he he's going he he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going he's going to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th to tho. tho. he's going he's going Oh no, 10 cats? No, on would I lie to you? Uh, did you? Did you? You sure? It was weird because I met her on one episode, then the next

episode I had so little that my lie was I've met Soviet Herman on this show. I think what I find astonishing is that I never thought I'd see a situation where you're the one arguing that we should talk more about Fatima Whitbread and I'm the one saying I'm not interested because that's my kind of reference Fatima Whitbread. Exactly, that's what I'm saying. All I'm saying is, if you don't have to know that scene or have watched that, I love the Fatma tham and Whitbread in turn of phrase that if you ever get anything stuck up my nose you can't feel like fat and my whip bread in the jungle that will still get a laugh Josh. I'm not in the circles I move in Rob it will just end up in a conversation where people like I don't know what you're talking about.

Like can we do a deal right? Next time you go going to experience a wish and rush of recognition like you haven't felt. Do you know what Rob? I'm going to do it but I'm going to say it. We had this on the last lag. Well do you remember the summer when Love Island was big news? Yes, yes. That 2018 the Russia World Cup the greatest summer of our lives, heat wave. Oh my god, the heat. the time that was the time that was th. I I I I I I I. I was that th. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. thi. thi. the thi. the the thi. the thi. thi. thi. the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I I I was th. I I I was th. I I was th. I I I I I I I was th. I I I I I I I I I I I was th. I I I I I I was th. I I was th. I I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. thi. thi. the. I was the. the. the. the. I was to thea. to to thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. I'm the. I'm the. I also the happiest. I broke a chair that summer. Did you? Yeah it was a shit chair but I was a big lad. How big were you? I don't remember this. About 15 and a half stone? No. I really enjoyed that. It was mainly foot wasn't it. I was pissed every night and had about four pizzas a week. I was just loving life Josh. Oh, those were the if you say if I was on goggle box I'll be the you you if if if if if if if I was on if I was on if I was on if I was on if I was on if I was on go go go go go go go go go go go go go go. You. If. If. If. If. If I was on go go go. If. If I was on go. If I was on go. If I was on go. If I was on go. If I was on go. If I was on go. If I was on go. If I was on gogoggle. If I was on goggle. I was on goggle. If I was on g. If I was on g. If I was on g. If I was on g. I was on g. I was on g. I was on g. I was on g. I was on g. I was on g. I was on g. I was on g. I was on go. I was on go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go. I was on goggle. I was on goggle. I was on goggle. I was on goggle. I was on g, Rob, I've heard of that one. You don't know, do you watch Gogglebox? I can't because it's on directly before the last leg, so I'm working. Oh yeah, it's a shame you can't record anything at home and watch it when you get in.

Oh I think, let's be honest with you, Rob, imagine what your life would come to, if you so good, because I like normal people, I like hearing people. Also, on Gogglebox, they can say whatever they want. They're so brutal. Some of the stuff they say, if I said that an out of 10 cats, I go almost a bit arson it, Rob. Because it's just like, Karen from Don Castle, she's do it what the fuck she wants. I'm not saying it's the kind the kind. Gogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogg. I's a the kind. I's. I's. I's the kind. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'm not. I'm not saying. I'm not saying. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm not. I's th. I'm th. I's th. I's tho. I's tho. I's tho. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I. I. I. I. I's th. th. I's th. th. th. th. I's th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho th th's the kind of show you watch, because you turn the TV on and it's on. Leave it out mate. It's a point of viewing. It's appointment viewing. Josh, I'll tell you what, people watch last leg because of Gogglebox. Oh, I'm not going to lie to you Rob. I'm fully aware of the stats. I am across the inheritance figures. A comparison between Gogglebox and 8-10 Cats does countdown. Do you reckon pissed people and sat at home going, fucking hell, they're living rooms big

when you come on? Come on, look at these three. Do they all live together? What kind of signs are there in front room? It's that a spaceship. People do think we live together, Rob. That's how they think TV works. Right, Josh, well, should I tell you this disgusting story before we do some emails? It is disgusting, so if you're eating something, I'd stop eating. Right, basically, I sleep naked.

Is that the end of the story? No, it's like, that's disgusting than that. Do you sleep? It wasn't 2018. It was absolutely... I just think because I couldn. Um, the, um, yeah, where'd you sleep, Josh? Pants? Uh, pants, pants, right?

I sleep naked, right? And anyway, and sometimes before I go to bed, if I'm still a bit awake, I've got, I've got like wireless headphones, but also I've got some wired ones for the side of the bed so that I could just plug in and if I want to watch out of to some music. Yeah? Anyway, so I got into bed and I grabbed my headphones, right, this is what gets disgusting, and they were sort of like fell in front of me and as I pulled them up from the bottom of the bed where they'd landed, I pulled him up, and one of the earphones went up my ass. What? The little earphone... What? Like this tooth? Did your the earphone? th. I I I I I I I I, the ear, the ear, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, that, that, th. It's th. It's theree. It's th. It's theree. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, the art inhaled the earphone? My ass was like a hungry Fatima Whitbread nostril. It gobbled up the earphone, right?

And I was like, ooh, like that. You didn't have to fart out. You didn't have to fart out. I pulled it out, because it was on a string. It was like I was fishing at my ass. It's disgusting, I couldn't even wash them. The freebie ones you get with the phone. If it had been if it had been an Apple ear pod one. It is what I would have done. I would have baby wiped it, anti-bat wiped it, and put in the air and cupboard for a week. In the air and cupboard? In the air cupboard? Just in case there. Oh I see. And then I would have reused it because they're too expensive. That's. the. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I the. I the. I the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. th. th. th. th. that's thathea. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thaped. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. I would would would would would would would would would would would th. I would have the. I would have the. the. theat. tape. tape. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. I would would have the. I would get to about 150 quid, I will allow it up my ass. Do you know what I'd have done if it had been an earbud?

Yeah. Right, just kept it, waited till everyone was back in the office for something. And then identified someone else that's got a pair. Oh, you'd swap the bud. Do the quick bud swap straight away. You can't do the bud swap with an ass bud. That's like a hate crime. Would they have started, but I don't know how the technology works then. Would they have started hearing my music? Is that how they'd have track me down? Well the worst part about the airpud is, if I could have played my arson music if I

wanted while it was up there. But the way they work as well is they they they they they they they th. Yeah, what would have happened obviously? I took a phone call and literally spoke out of my arm. But the way they work as well is they think they can feel if they're up against your ear, can't they? So they would just start working. Yeah, that would be the worst. It would have just started, I'm surprised it wouldn't have just started playing Rob. If you'd lost it and you'd have to play it to find it. Oh no, just working its way through the system. But I remember when the fact, I can't really do it now with iPhones because they're too big but I remember like when you should have like Nokia's and that.

If I was trying to open the front door and I'd know it's my phone, I'd put the phone in my mouth. Have you ever done that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. on it. It was like a rampant rabbit and the noise, that polyphonic ringtone of a bee-bebe-bebe, I always would panic, what if someone rings me while it's in my mouth? I think it would like shatter your jaw. And that was, I used to get a bit of a buzz out of that. Never felt so alive. That, if I put my phone in my celebrity reference there, that, if I put my phone in a celebrity reference there. That, if, if, if, if, if, if, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was, I was, I was, I'd, I'd, I'd th. I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd I'd, I'd I'd thin, I'd thin, I'd thin, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I thin, I th. thin, I th. thin, I thin, I th. I thin, I'd like, Iton Towers. I thought there was going to be an I'm a celebrity reference there. I'm now just looking for I'm a celebrity reference.

You used to have an I'm a celebrity reference, I swear. It's like a Bush Tucker trial. I remember you saying it. Yeah, but you're being aware of the Bush Tucker trial is very different from remembering the ups and downs of Fatima White – the ups and I I I I I the ups and the ups and the ups and the ups and the ups and the ups and the ups and the ups and the ups and the ups and the ups and the ups and the ups and the ups and did say earlier, I'm not going to learn reference points just to be a comedian. You've got to talk about what you know and last. But Bush track of trial is a reference that I know. I didn't research them. Learn it. Okay, but you like, but you like, but you like, but you like, but you know what a comedian or reference what's it? What's the difference be researching it and just broadened in your the comedian. the comedian. the comedian. the comedian. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that I's that I's that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I's that I that I that's that's that's th. I th. I their their try. try. I try. try. tha. tha. tha. try. that's tha. that's that's that's that's that's that they've updated their references that, you know when a comedian or reference fucking, oh bleep, bleat the comedian's name here Michael, but it'll give you an idea of the kind of person I'm talking about.

Go ahead. You'll see like, reference Stormsy. And you're like, oh, fuck off mate. It was Dizzy Rascal up until about a year ago. Yeah, exactly. That was vanilla ice 20 years ago that joke when you wrote it. When you wrote that joke, that joke was fucking Vera Lynn, wasn't it? Let's be honest. Bateover, that was originally. So that's what I don't want to be Rob. I don't want to be 50. I'm referencing. Because you get two schools of thought. You get the people that actually know the people and it feels casual. The people that literally go, right guys, time for a reference update. Let me type in UK rapper and they find someone. And then you get the people that I sort of enjoy

the most where they just stick with the reference and just no holds barred will just deliver someone from you, Sugar Hill gang, just still deliver the oldest reference as possible. Anyway, have you seen that woman to put the cat in the bin Rob? Because what a bitch? What a bitch? Who does that to a cat? Right, let's let's do, I've got some really good Instagram message we should do before. So I've got some emails, let's get through them. This one says, regarding the guy who disappeared in the canoe pretending he was dead, and what are your thoughts?

Oh my god, I try to think of really old references that, but I can't, you're so good at him. But that's still funny, you should do routine on that. But sometimes I get criticized for old reference points, but I think it's unfair. I'll just speak to my friend the other day and they just do luck. It's funny because they're so old and it's out of context. You know what, I've got phone notes, Rob, Rob, the the the the the the the the the the the th and I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, you tho, you tho, you tho, you thi, you tho, you should tho, you tho, you tho, you tho, you tho, you to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. You should th. You should th. You should th. You should th. You should th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You're th. You're to to to thi. to thi. to thi. to thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, to to to tour is going in there along with some really, really, really, and the fat of a whip bread nose. You, if you saw these phone notes, Rob, you would absolutely have a field day. And if you go to Josh's tour when he does the fat of the whip bread, bitch, I'm gonna do fat and their whip bread and I'm gonna do canoe man.

Because, do you know what? We're both halfway for a to me, you know, when you start the tour again, are you going to like update it? And I think I'll do one joke at the top about thingy, and I'm not going to update the rest, because all of my stuff is still relevant, right? Because it wasn't relevant in the first place. Yeah. If Neil Buchanan is suddenly, we can't talk about him, then I'm in trouble. But COVID has had no impact on my set. Anyway, wait till you Buchanan comes out as an anti-vaxxer and you can't use them as a reference. Exactly. All my rights have said Fred stuff's been ruined. Do you know what? On that, I've got a framed Annie Hall poster

that's suddenly looking like I need to get rid of it as well. take quite an odd approach you sort of adopt certain memorabilia after the fact. Right, sorry let's do this email yeah let's do this right this is from O'Dowd 09 on Instagram. Hi Rob and Josh just wanted to say thanks no kids at home this afternoon so I thought it would be safe to just have the podcast on speaker in my pocket pocket while I potter I love that I love that I love a podcast and as a pototter. I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love th. I love th. I love th. I love the podcast I love th. I love th. I love th. I love th. I love th. I love th th tho. I love the podcast I love the podcast I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love a the podcast I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love th. I love th. I love th. I love th. I love th th th th th tho. I love tho. I love tho. tho. tho. tho. th th th th tho. I love a th th tho. I love th th th th th th tho. I love a podcast and as a potter don't you? Dishwasher in a podcast, fucking L what I like. I love the pocket podcast as well because you can like if you're doing so a job where you're carrying stuff. Yeah top pocket. Top pocket. You've got the radio with you the podcast with the whole way. Um, here we go. I stepped outside to put something in the bin still with the podcast on. The phrase lickedicked Out a Bat, was uttered, loud and proud, just as I came face to face

with my elderly neighbor. Oh, not something you hear every day on speaker outside in my little street. Luckily, Rob repeated it louder just in case she missed it. I don't even remember us saying it, but I'm pleased that we're putting out that kind of content. Charon Christmas. He said, you you know, because I was talking about COVID, he went, apparently someone licked out a bat or whatever. But now we've said it again, there's a lot of bat licking out. Have you got one there?

I've got more if you need it. No, no, I'm going to send your picture, Rob. Oh. How many bins you got, Rob. bin because it was outside my house and people are using it more as a rescue mission but in the end someone took it so I'm on my eight bin rotor. Yeah, someone sent me this picture, sent us this picture. Hi guys, I'm in my 20s and don't have any kids but thoroughly enjoy your podcast. Playing catch up at the moment, I've just heard the episode about Rob's abundance of wheelie bins. When hearing of the numerous bins Rob owned on the podcast I didn't really think of the oven until today when I walked past a pizza express and they only have seven bins. In my defense two of my bins are small bins I've got a

small food one and a little box so there's seven wheelie bins there I've only got six wheelie bins. Right because this led led me to the conclusion that Rob's house must be turning at the same pace to same same same same same same same same same same same same same same th th th th past past past past past past past past past past past past past past th th th th th the same th thi their thi thi thi their the the the the the the the to to thi the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the pizza the pizza the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the today today today today today today today to to to since this led me to the conclusion that Rob's house must be turning at the same pace as an 80-seater restaurant. Do you know what? It ain't far off. But commercial waste, is it collected weekly? I'm on a two-week rotor. So a lot of my bins for storage. They're not always the thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thi thi thin thi thi thi thi thi the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I've thi. I'm thoannenenenene thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thase thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same the same thi. thi. thi. the thease. thease. thea. thea. thea. theauu toooooooooooooooooooma toease to to to to to toe got the space there if I need it, you know? Yeah, but yeah, it is a bit worrying that I'm working at the same pace as Pizza Express.

Also, there's a Foxton's for sale sign, so I imagine it's in quite a bougy area. And the Pea Express will be, looks like a lovely Pizza Express. It's all I do. Yeah, maybe I need to, yeah, but Louil, just a too' they. I cannot express you how much shit turns up at my ass. Just constant cardboard boxes. It's all I do. Well, mate, cardboard is doing my head in,

the folding of the cardboard. When it's Tuesday night, and I realize I've got cardboard before bad, it's a, it's a, come of life. It's a lesson at school. Carbold before break. You do the leave it outside to get wet trick, don't you? What do you mean? Just put it outside to get wet and it's easier to fold once it's wet. So when it's a rainy.

Oh, is that right? Oh, you have made you. It feels a bit unfair on the cardboard collectors though, doesn't it, Rob? Fuck those guys. Rob? Yeah. Yeah. stolen. Okay fair enough. No, but you're putting it in but it's fine because they don't care. It'll go in easier. It's softer and more malleable, isn't it? So leave it outside to get wet because it's so hard. Also some cardboard is pathetic. Some of it is I swear it's stronger than my walls. It's got like staples in it. What is that? What is in? I would send my children in the post. the structure of the cardboard? th. What th. What th. What th. What th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's is th. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the. It's the. the. It's tho. the. thoooooooooooo. It's th. the. the post in less structured cardboard.

This car is ridiculous, is that metal safe? Oh my god, we've got into mundane chat. We're talking about cardboard quality. Well, let's do it. While we're here, if we're talking about postman, I'm not a postal worker, but I deliver groceries for Sainsbury's. This is on the subject of wider postal workers wear shorts, Rob. Yes. Most of us also wear shorts to work, as skin is a lot easier to dry than trousers in case it rains. Yes, it is, isn't it? It's good skin, isn't it?

It's great skin, isn't it. Skin is Goretex. Skin is gortex. I've always said it. That's why it's good to wear shorts to a festival. Shorts and wellies is actually better than jeans and wellies. Because if you get a wet gene, oh my god a wet gene from the knee down he's like wading home. But at a short set of festival with a hoodie if it gets cold. It can always tie your hoodie. I would fundamentally not be friends with someone that tied a hoodie around their waist normally but a festival you can get away with it. How do you feel about the festival bum bag, Rob? I'm pro bum bag. Sometimes I've adopted a bro bag just day to day with the kids.

Have you? Across the shoulder, across the shoulder like a roadman though. Yeah, yeah, of course. Right, I've got another message. Yeah. Oh, this is, I do this and I think Lou gets annoyed and someone else is getting annoyed by this. Ben is getting annoyed by the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. the th. the th. th. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. to. to. to. to. to. to. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I annoyed by this. Love the show, keeps me occupied on so many early morning get-ups with my two-year-old. I wanted to get in contact to find out if I'm the only one who experiences this from their other half. Rather than directly being told to do something, for example, put the little them to bed or get their dinner, bath tomorrow, and the wife insists on the the thoomorrow, through thoomorrow, through, through, through, through, through, tho, tho, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, and I's thin, and I's thin, and I's thin, and I's thin, and I's thin, and I'm tho' tho' one's thi's tho' tho' tho' tho, tho, and I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm tho, I's tho, I's is tho, and I's is tho, and I's is tho, and I's is tho, and I's is tho, and I's is tho, and I's is thin, I's is thin, I's is thin, and I's thin, and I's thin, and I's thin, and I's thin, and I'm thin, and I'm thin, and I'm tho'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a yeah. Siena, it's time to go to bed now, Daddy's going to take you, or maybe Daddy will take you to the park if you ask nicely. I'm like, hang on a minute, no one told me this. And by saying this through my daughter, it makes it much harder to get out of saying no. There must be others out there with this experience. And are there any ways to fight back other than revert to the same dirty tactics. What's your approach? It's, you know what, it's a thing you find yourself doing, isn't it, without even thinking it? I just think it's, it's just back and forth. Fair game. You've got to, you know, you've got to, you know, you know, give a bit, you know, give a bit, take a bit, and just make sure that no one's. You're that no one that no one that th. It th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a thin. It's a thin. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's it. It's it. It's it. It's it. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a thin. It's a thin. It's a thin. It's a thin. It's a thin. It's a thin. It's a th. It's a thin. It's a th. It's a thin. It's a a bit more you know just about oh mommy's gonna do that it's like nuclear arms race there's no

way of stopping it so you all got to take the right mommy was the best at wiping your ass stuff like that yeah yeah yeah exactly oh no should I quickly do a present Rob oh let's do a present and then the small business stuff and then I've got a nice message to end on there's almost like a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th a the th and th and th and th th th and th th of th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm thin. thin. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. I th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'll th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. th. th. thin is thin is thin is thin is th. th. th. thin is th. thin th. thinnn't th. the. thinn't th. th. the. the. So the. So the. a nice message to end on. There's almost like a structure to this now. Yeah. So, we're in, we fucking know what we're doing with it. So, these are the presents that we found in the basement. Yeah, my wife hasn't sent since Christmas 2018. Yeah, what we've got now?

So let's go with this. This is two. This feels like sweets. It's pretty gone off. So cousin Matthew, yeah, this could have gone off, couldn't it? Oh my God. It's worse. Oh what is it? It's chocolates, Rob.

Oh no, when do they go off? Oh, it doesn't say. Do you think you can still eat them? Oh my God. I think they might have been out of date before, Rob, it says used by the 8th of March 2016. Fuck off. So these, these went off before the Brexit vote. Those chocolates still think the NHS is going to get 350 million a week. Look at that! Do you reckon they've been in your house ages and Rose just wrapped him up as a panic prison? Yeah, I don't know. That is astonishing. Do you know what? Imagine sending them

and Matthew getting that. Oh my God. You've done rows of favour. Yeah, because that's a lawsuit on your hands waiting. That's actually offensive. Yeah, 2016. That's mental So they were four Christmas 2018. Wow, I look forward to saying what's in next weeks. Do you know what I found in my cupboard the other day? What? Dried oregano? Dried oregano. Dried oregano. Oh yeah, that's kind of. That's the 11. I'm not an oregano guy. That's moved house as well, isn't that organo? That's moved house as well, hasn't it, that oregano? About three times. I've had that longer than Lou. I've had a longer relationship with that oregano than Louise. Did you get red? Or did you keep it as a keepsake?

No, I'm keeping Lou. She's fine, she's lovely. She had got the up with me though because I said that she's listening to the podcast and she said, or I said that she gets into petty rouse with the kids. She went, I want you to retract that. And I went, okay, well I will, but am I telling the truth? And she went, yeah, you are telling the truth. I went, well, I shouldn't retract it then. And she went, yeah, but you should, because I just don't want to. So I'm going to attract that statement. She isn't petty with the girls and argue with them, even though she is and she does. Is that a fair attraction?

Yeah, I'd say that her saying that has actually drawn more attention to something that was I'd forgotten about. Well, exactly. And so, so that's up to her, isn't it? But that's how we're moving forward with to right. Josh, what small businesses are we going to say, do email in with the oldest things you've found in your food cupboard. Can you beat Rob's 2011, Origano? And have you got anything that's fronted by somebody who's been cancelled since? A Bill Cosby, tin of biscuits? Things like that. Yeah.

That'd be a great double up. Yeah. Exactly. So, tha'a. Go on. Small business shout out. What you got there, brov? So we just thought it'd be nice to shout out small businesses at the end of Tuesday's episode that our listeners have you know maybe set up in lockdown or have been struggling to get through lockdown as many people have you know for obvious reasons and we thought we've got a platform here. Rob, what have you got? I've got one here. I've got this one from Michael Chaplow. I would love to give a shout out for Andy's Man Club. Andy's Man Club is a national men's peer-to-peer suicide prevention charity with over 40 groups

around the UK. Please check out Andes Man Club. that you can search Andy's man club on social media platform. If anyone's suffering with mental health, log into there and it'll be plenty of clubs to help you out. Well, what have you got, Josh? Okay, so this is from Sarah Pennington. Hello, I hope you're both well. I'd love the opportunity for my dad's family business to be promoted. I'm a 16-year-old who's been listening to the podcast since the Romesh episode. After quitting a job that made him unhappy, my dad started a coffee roasting and tea merchant business. This is a family-run business based in the Lake District, goes by the name of Pennington's tea and coffee. The only employees are my aunt, uncle, and cousin and the business is owned by my parents, so it's very much a family affair.

As you can imagine, lockdown's been very tough for the hospitality industry, so the only sales that they can make right now are through home orders. They do brilliant subscription boxes, selection items of your choice get delivered monthly to your door, as well as standard orders, a huge range of teas coffees and other delectals, hampers baskets, etc. All the coffees roasted by my uncle and cousin, the beans are sourced environmentally sustainable farms. So the coffees roasted by my uncle and cousin. The beans are sourced environmentally sustainable farms. So the website is Pennington's coffee.co. UK. That's P, N, N, N, I N, G, T-O-N-S coffee. The Instagram is Pennington's T coffee.

That's the same, but with the word T in between. Thanks for clearing that up, Josh. How well wretens that. I was just tha, the tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, thiia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tho, tha, soa, soa, soa, soa, soa, soa, soa, soa, soa, soa, soa, soa, soa, soa, soa, soa, soa, soa, soa, soa, soa, soa, soa, soa, soa, some, some, the the tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, tog Josh. How well written is that Sarah Pennington has been? Fuck me, I only learned grammar at 24. She is, she is a superb writer. Great, isn't it? Well done, and that's such a lovely thing to do to help your dad's business out. So well done, Sarah. Josh, let's finish on a positive message now, as well as those small businesses. This is from Chloe J. Cox. I just want to say a massive massive thiiiiiiiii. tho. tho. th. to to say to say to say to say to say to say to to say to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. This is from Chloe J. Cox. I just want to say a massive thank you to Gabby Logan and you guys for the discussion about IVF. Whilst I was growing up, my parents went through countless IVF

to have another baby, none of them worked, but I remember them explained the process, just like Gabby did to her kid. It's always been such a trying for a baby and it looks like we'll need to go through the IVF route ourselves and I've been feeling a bit down about it but Gabby's episode has really made me feel so much better, top tier podcast. So that's nice. Oh, that's nice. Good luck the IVF. I'd like to add as well. Obviously out, but we are aware of that. A few people sort of message and stuff, but hopefully IVF does work for some people and good luck with it. And yeah, it's just nice.

I think it's nice to be open and chat about these things because that's something I remember growing up. I used to always be told, oh no, I can't talk about that. like it help you Chloe so good luck with the IVF and fingers crossed you get a babber soon. Josh what what's an episode we've had headphones up the ass that animal whip bread that you know I'd say a roller coaster Rob and it was such a roller coaster it's not my neck right back into shape honestly I feel absolutely super just like the metal slide your neck's on fire yeah wicked right then guys we'll see on Friday see a Friday the other chat bye your necks on fire. Wicked. All right then guys, we'll see on Friday. See on Friday. For another chat. Bye. Bye.