Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S02 EP28: "This is only going to get worse..."

Episode Date: April 27, 2021

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL'S02 EP28: "This is only going to get worse..."More misadventures in parenting and beyond...Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks - Rob and Josh xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, I'm Josh Riddickham. And I'm Robb. Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell. The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. So in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation. And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing.

Hello you are listening to lockdown parenting hell with Can you say Josh Whitakam? Josh Finkett and can you say Bob Beckett? There you go. Wow look at that. That was exceptional and also it feels like the child has lost the scouse accent. Yes it does. Or hasn't learnt it yet. So that's Heidi and Yvonne describes herself as Heidi's very common Mar. Hey love the show. This is my three-year-old and three-month enunciating nimes quite fricently. I moved back to Liverpool a year ago during lockdown from middle class organic munch in Cardiff to the Sugar Buttees land of Liverpool.

I mean, no offence to Cardiff. I was thinking that myself. I love Cardiff. It's a great city. I would never call it sort of like a hippie utopian. No. I don't know if you've been out on a night out in Cardiff. I reckon if I'd said, how do you think this sentence ends? we would have fulfilled the podcast length before you'd giced the word Cardiff. At a push, Bristol if you wanted a city? Yeah no one leaves Bristol and saying this is a little bit too mainstream for me I'm going Cardin. No exactly.

Yeah but anyway so she's moved from Cardiff back to Liverpool. Yes I'm attempting reverse my fair lady with Heidi and rewarding her drop syllables however she continues to articulate like a well-bred aristocrat. Oh. Are you, how are you, Rob? I'm good. I mean, I feel like I've had a pretty good week. Yeah. You text me before the episode and just said to me, it's been one of the worst weeks of your

life and your daughter's completely changed personality. Is that correct? I would describe this as, as, as, tha, tha, tha, tha, I tha, I tha, I thii, I tho, I tho, I thi, I tho, I tho, I tho, I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. I, th. I, th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm, th. I'm, thi. I'm thi. I'm thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thooo. I'm toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I'm, thoo. I'm tho. I'm th correct? I would describe this as, do you ever get to the end of the day and think, thank God, I will never have to live that again? Yeah, yeah, yeah, but normally that's for things like funerals, yes, or you know, like quite traumatic events that have happened. I found myself, I went out to the shed on Sunday, and there's a shed which has got, it's like, it, it, it, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, that, like, that, that, went out to the shed on Sunday and there's a shed which has got alcohol, garden equipment tools and I'd say this shed is a size of maybe a large lift, okay? And I went into the shed and I genuinely, I closed the door behind me and I, for about a minute, I just stood there and imagined what it would be like if I just lived alone in the shed and how much happier I'd be. I just thought. You know you know stereotypes yeah and everyone

says like cliches and stereotypes they're there for a reason. I don't know what it is but men are drawn to a shed I think it's just it's the closest building that no one wants to go in. Yes I'd say so so so that's that's that's that's they. they. I that's they. I they. I could th. I could th. I could they. I could th. I could th. I could th. I could thi thi. I could th. I could th. I could th. I could thi. I thi. I could thi. I could th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I'd they. I'd thi. I'd thi. I'd th. I'd th. I'd to to the. I'd to to thoooooo. I'd thooo. I'd thooooo. I'd theee. I'd tho. I'd the. I'd the. I think it's just it's the closest building that no one wants to go in. Yes, I'd say. So that's your escape? I was like I could just I could probably just sleep on the floor and then I'd wake up. Do you know what? I think that's quite a good thing because I say the wealthiest man is not the man with the most money or the man with the most, it's the man that needs the least least least th least th least th least th least th least th least th least th least th least the the th least th least the the th least the th least thee the the the man. Yes thee the. Yes. Yes. Yes. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the. the. that's that's that's that's that's the. the. the. the. the. that's that's the. that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the. I the the is the the is the is the is the is thee is theean to thean to thean theeeeeean theeeeee. I's the. I's the. I the. I's say all you need is the floor of a shed and a bit some beer. And you're happy with that? I'd be so happy. What's forcing you there?

Why, what's wrong in the house? I'd say all of us in the house are not having a good time, Rob. There's no one in the house at the moment who is enjoying their life. So how, how pregnant rose? Two and a half weeks to go. She can't barely move. She's also... Yeah, she's got... I saw a thing on Instagram.

She's using like, she's using the bump as like a shelf now. She's at that level. Yeah. Yeah. If she lies in a certain way she can't breathe, kind of thing. Steve Breedman is so fucking horrible. It's shit. And it's hard to talk about because we never, we can't obviously, we never have. But like, it's so shit. And I do people say how amazing it is.

And I just look him in the eye and think you're talking fucking bollocks. Oh my God. It can't be nice. Absolute crap. There is no way. It seems to me it's as shit as the worst hangover you've ever had combined with the worst injury you've ever had for nine months. It's like going to a music festival but you have to carry your tent all weekend. Oh, it's exactly. You know, you know, you know when you're like, you're leaving the festival on the Monday morning. Yeah. And you're feeling awful and you've got a fucking bag on your back and you're carrying a tent. It's not on your back, it's in your stomach. And you know it's got to come out of your body at some point. I mean, I don't know about big up to other pregos out there. You're doing a wonderful the pregos out there. You're doing a wonderful thing.

But Jesus, it looks rubbish. It looks really rubbish. Because sometimes, it's weird isn't it, we've like, because some, there's some things my wife does, it looks quite fun. Yeah, you know when we've been coming after a long day and take off their bra and they go, oh it's so good. I'm jealous of that feeling I've never experienced it. I look at that and think, oh what, I mean I could do that, I could wear a bra all day. The feeling of taking off heels must be amazing as well. Yes, exactly, right?

But the feeling of being pregnant is something I don't, oh, I can't imagine anything worse. Fuck that. that it looks. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, I thi, I that is thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th th th th th toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I th. I th. I th. So Rose is having a terrible time. Yes. And also the whole world is having the best time ever at the moment, aren't they? If you look on Instagram, everyone's in pubs, getting drunk, who cares? And also just sitting outside on a wooden stool. That's hard to be in pretty. You can't do that pregnant. No. You can't jostle for a table pregnant or on Compton Street. It's only going to get worse worse worse worse worse worse worse worse worse worse worse worse worse worse worse worse worse worse worse worse worse worse worse worse worse worse worse to get to get to get to get to get to get worse worse worse worse worse worse worse to get that that that th. It's going th. It's going th. It's going th. It's th as the world opens up further. We'll deal with that absolute despair when it happens Rob. Yeah. So yeah no one's having a good time in your house. Rose is very pregnant. That's where we were out. And my daughter is... So she's very excited about having a younger brother. She keeps talking about it but she's really struggling with the fact that Rose can't pick her up. Okay. And can't physically do stuff. Yes. And has to have a nap and stuff like that.

And she, it's making her lose her shit to a level. Like it must be very difficult for her. I understand that you know I'm not gonna lie. It's a big deal in her life, what's going to happen? There's not much else going on, is there, really? No, no, exactly. To be honest, you know, watching an episode of My World Kitchen isn't really taking up her mind in the way it used to, because she knows her life is about to be completely destroyed. And her mom's not cudd in her the night.

her life was about to be completely destroyed. And her mum's not cuddling her as much and pick her up in the night and all that, yeah, okay. And so, yeah, she can't get her out the bath. Do you know what? Can I just say so, Josh? What's what's the difficult for you? This is it only going to get worse? Well, yeah. Well, I've only got one hope, Rob. What's the hope? Which is that when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when the the the baby, when the baby, when the baby, when the baby, when the baby, when the baby, when the baby, when the baby, the baby, Rob. What's the hope? Which is that when the baby comes, after Rose has recovered and she's able to pick her up our daughter and stuff like that, that's my hope that this is going to turn around. Yeah, but then what happens when Rose is holding the baby, and, well, press feeding the baby?

Rob, please don't do this. I'm just saying that like now Rose can't pick up your daughter because it's physically too heavy. But going forward you won't be able to pick up and then that's annoying for your daughter, but when she sees another child being cuddled by Rose, Now she's got, she actually there's an actual physical reason that she can see. I think I think the truth of the matter is Rob we've made a mistake. Yeah do you want to go in to stop here and go in the shed or are you okay to be in the shed? I'm broadcasting from the shed I haven't been out for two days. Oh yeah so she'd been naughty then or she deserves a crime when she can't get her own way type of thing? She just flips out like she just flips out like she never did

before really. Like she'd always flip out because she's a child. But like she's on a hair trigger shall we say and if we get through a day without her going absolutely completely mental it is a huge victory. Do you do time outstep? Do you do time outstep? No we started so we started with no treats if she flips out. I'm not going to lie Rob. Yeah. She hasn't had many treats this week. Well we do sometimes though like my three-year-old we stick on a time out step because there can be a reason obviously she wants to be picked up. Take me through the the the the time time the time time time time time time time the time time time time time the time time time time time time the time the time time time time time time time time time to do to do time time to do to do to do time out. Do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do time time out step time out step to do time out step time out step to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do the the time. Do the the the the time out out out out out out. Do the time out. Do the time out step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step step. the time out step step step step step step step step step step step. the time out my three-year-old, we stick on the tum-out step because there can be a reason obviously she wants to be picked up. Take me through the time-up step, Rob.

Well, time out step would be like, it's normally when they're just losing their shit and being brattie. So it's like, if you want pudding, you need to eat that. That's a classic one, is it right? Eat some some, eat some, eat some, eat some, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, starts just screaming. I'm like, the situation is, if you want pudding, you've got her eat that. There's no more discussion to have. And if you keep screaming, right, if you keep screaming, you're going on the time out step, whether it's not punishment for not eating the vegetable, but it's not like, her behavior just has done, they're not accepting it. the, their behavior just doesn't accept them. to their. time. And then, their. And sometimes, their. And sometimes, their. And sometimes, their. And, their, their, their. their time. their time. their time. their time. their time. their time. their time. their time. their. their. their. tooes. to keep, their. their. their. to. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. It's, if, if, if. It's go. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. too. t tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, their. And, to. And, their. And, toe. And and it's contained. And when they calm down, then you go, right, look, you need to say, sorry, this is what you've done, this is why you've been here. And then they sort of go back and it's sort of like, they've been snapped out of the situation because they're sort of, they're so stubborn.

They get the hills in. And then it's just you to go back back back back back back back back, their, their, their, their, to go, their, their, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. This, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. This, th. This, th. This, th. This, th, th, th. This, th, th, th. This. This. This is th, th. This. This. This. This is th. This. This. This is th. This, th. This is th. This, th. This is th. This, th. This is th. This is tho, tho, tho, thi. This is thi. And, thi. And, thi. thi. thi. thooooooooooooooooooooooo. This is th. This is th. Thisthere and then you can let them get it out of the system. Because my oldest, you could distract, my youngest is a bit like me, it just has to scream or she goes mental. So he sort of let it let it get out of a system. That's what we've been doing. Yeah. Because it gets a point where you feel guilty because, oh look, Rose is pregnant. their pregnant, she can't pick her up. toe. their, Rose, Rose, Rose, Rose, Rose, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, their, their, thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. their, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, just just just just just just has just has just has just has just has just has just has just thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, just just just a kid, but she's just got to realize that stuff like this does happen. If Rose had broke her ankle or broke her arm and couldn't pick her up, it'd be the same. And she just sort of like they just have to learn that. Stuff is a bit annoying, but you can't scream about it.

I'll be honest, you said, you said, you said, I thrown you do maybe two hours afterwards when you think back you go yeah at the time I'd say I don't feel that sorry for her I'd say at the time I feel sorry for myself I feel very sorry for myself you feel so for yourself in that situation I think this is really bad for me that's what I think at that point. Okay, fair enough, yeah. It's good to be honest, isn't it? Afterwards, I think, oh God, she is having a really tough time. But I'd say, in the eye of the storm,

my main concern is, can't I just fucking get on with my life without all this bullshit? But then afterwards I think, that's a thiheaaaaaa something thia thia thia thia thia thia thia, thia, thi so thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be honest, tho, to be honest, to be honest, to be honest, to me to be honest, to be honest, to be honest, to be honest, to be to be honest, to be Can't I just get on with my life without all this bullshit? That basically sums up parenting. Yeah, it really does. But do you know what, Rob? It's magical. It's a magical time. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber 1 for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers,

up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think University is for. Get Uber one for students. Get Uber one for the to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Joined for just 499 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. Back to school signals a fresh start for students. New classmates, new teachers, new lessons. Change is in the air. But one thing hasn't changed. The forward government still is thi the support they need. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi is thi thi is thi thi is to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thin. the. the thin. the the the. the. the. thean. thean. thin. the. the. to to the. thi still isn't investing in public schools. Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the supports they need. They can't wait another year. If the forward government won't change, it's time to change the government.

Our kids are counting on us. Join us at Building Better Schools. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. Can I tell you about my Saturday and I don't want to feel like I'm gloating but this look at this as sort of like inspiration of like you're a couple years away from essentially. A couple of years! I know fuck on! Right, so this is what happened, yeah? I went out on Friday night for a few drinks, right? I can talk about that later, but on Saturday, Lou had a baby shell for a friend in our garden, yeah?

So, rule of six, don't panic. And I had to have to take the kids out, and I had to take the kids out all day, so that she could do this and she went, oh cool, yeah dad was sailing, might go golf. Do you want to go golf? I was like, what? She went, yeah, and then just drop the kids with me. I'll look after the kids and you go golf. So, Josh, on Saturday, I had to look after the kids, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, to to to to to to to to to, to, to to to, to, to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the tod, the toda, to me, told, to me, told, to me, told, to go, to, to go, to, to, to, golf, my dad went, do you want to get something to eat? We sat in the pub beer garden of the golf calls

and I had some sausage and eggs and a drink and just sat in the sun and I went back, I got my kids, picked him up, chucked him in the I went to the pub again and she did bedtime. Oh my God Rob. What the touch! That is unburleavable. And then on Sunday, Lou went to me, do you want me to take her little kickers because you had them all day yesterday? I went, yeah. Oh my God. Our lives are so different. And on paper, I did most of the parenting at the weekend. Yeah.

Right. Because I did all state Saturday. And did Lou know what happened? Yeah, but then she don't, sort of, I mean, they have said driving range and not an actual full round of golf to her. So I didn't lie, I was at the golf course. And did your mom just look after the two daughters, no questions asked? Yeah, she was fine.

She was just played in the garden. Oh my God. For the entire time. And then they went to the park, and then they were tired and I just popped him in the car and went home. Was there a point in your life when it was like mine? Yes and I that's where this was the first time I was like oh my god I actually I felt like I was nearly getting out the woods but at the ends out now and once we get the youngest into primary school we're away. Yeah, we're back in the game Josh just think you're just five years away from that. Oh my f-f, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, they they th, they th, they th, th, th, th, th, thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, th, th, they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're thi, thin, thin, thin, that, that, thin, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi thi, thi just five years away from that. Oh my, effing God.

It's genuinely, I can't, I don't, I don't even want to play golf. Oh my God. And I know that you got trashed on Friday because Ed Gamble told me. He said we have one pint with you. Yeah. And then you carried on and you text him and you'd had like seven cocktails or something mad. Yeah. Well Friday day I did a photo shoot for the book cover. Right. So and then I finished at one o'clock and Paul Sweeney, comedian and barbara. He did my air and I've got a tale book of the veg.

And I just feed off the sun and people, Josh, and I had a couple of pints for them, and then my mate Darren and his mate Dan was like, oh we're around drinking. I was out till midnight. I rung a gamble, shitface, and I don't know what I said to him, but I was on the phone for 20 minutes. I drunk. They're drunk. I th. I was on th. I was on th. I was on th. I was on their their th. I was on their to their to their to their to to their to their to their th. I was on th. I was on thrown thrown to their their to to thrown a to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their p. I'm a their p. I seven cocktails. Oh my God. And then I managed to get to Margate the next day, a little bit worse for it, but I drunk in the day, not the night, so I wasn't over the limit, right? I was hung over at that point. Yeah, rule six. Social distance, of course, Bob's your uncle. No laws were broken. And then thi the the the the the the the the the the the the tho. tho. tho. tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's. I's. And I's. And I's. And I's. And I's. And I. And I. And I. And I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. th. I's. th. And, I's. And, I's. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, I's. And, I's. And, I's. And then I went out again on Saturday so I was I was so hung over on Sunday. To the point of like if there was another lockdown I'd be okay with it. Oh my God. I can't believe your life. Just to stay in for a bit. But that was my weekend. So like we've had a very different week. I feel like I'm hosting this with fucking bears. Where did you go out Rob? Tell me about it. to the to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to. to. to. to. to. to. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Oh. I. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. the. the. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I can try and live, do it vicariously. Right, so we were, Ed Gamble and Paul Swinney because they're a little bit media lovey,

ain't they? I had booked a table at Exmouth Market where it's all a bit fancy, in it. I was there until they kicked us out and then, because basically you just spend the entire day chasing the sun when you're drinking outside. I don't know if you've done it yet. And then me and my mate Darren and Dan are a little bit, they're boxes so they're a bit more o'y, lady, laddie. We just went to Old Compton Street and because they just put tables and chairs out. We just found a bench and I sat there for five hours. We were so drunk Josh at one point. I went to the barme and the waiter. Where where where where we ordered. He went, you've had them, I went, pardon? We went, no, we wanted the Sowers one because he was working away through the menu. We want the Sowers one.

He went, yeah, that's it, he looked at his eye-pid. It came out 18 minutes ago. I went, what, it was the first night out I've had from lockdown and stuff but then it was back to you know kids on Sunday and stuff but you know last week was it impromptu like had it you just did you did you think you were doing this night no so Paul said you want a quick beer after the best of all the nights out exactly and then I went out and then I went out Saturday but that one was so hung over it was very very........ to. to. to. to. to. to. the the to. the to. the the the the to. the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the thi. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea. theee. the. the. the. the. the. the I went out Saturday but that one was a plan night out but I was so hung over it was very difficult for me to cope really in that one. That was like I do. I do so I feel sorry for you in that situation. Yeah it was. You know what time I went to bed on Saturday Rob? 930? Why did you go about 930? Because I just don't know. I just new, you know, I'm the new like party girl around town.

I'm still doing parenting. Um, can I, I've got a couple of things to talk about parenting before we do the correspondence, Josh. I was put into bed my three-year-old the other night and out of's right. She went, no, the monkeys don't need trousers, it was. They don't need trousers. I was like, okay, she'd been thinking about it all day. And I just sort of went, okay, and then went downstairs and thought, what what was that? But she's right, Rob?

They don't. Did you take it up with her the next day? ask her and just say, do they, I'll ask if they need jumpers or, you know, they don't need to be removing. Are you reading a story about a monkey? I don't know, they're still very high off monkey on the roof from the center parks trip. That's still a big thing going on. I want to be at that stage, Rob. I want to be at the monkeys don't worry. You know, we've got to wait for the baby to be born first. But I've got a slight moan. Wait for this baby to be born.

Oh, a slight moan. Yeah, about Louise, my wife. You know, the Crosby's law where there's something that annoys about your partner's parenting. Well, Lou likes to bring up the're calm. With the children. Yeah. So for example, I don't know if I mentioned to you, the other day they was getting out the baths, I've got all the towels were in the wash, so it was this little towel that was probably too small to be used as a bath towel. No, for the girls. But you know, so it's a very, it's like a hand towel. They're so little. They's a they's a theau. They's a t. They's a t. They's a t. t. t. t. towar. towel. towel. towel. towel. towel. towel. towel. towel. So, their. So, towel. So, their. So, their. So, all. So, all. So, all all. So, all. So, all all. So, all all. So, all. So, all. So, all. So, all. So, all. So, all. So, all. So, all. So, all. So, all. So, all. So, all. So, all. So, all. So, all. So, all. So, all. So, all. So, all. So, all. So, all. So, all. So, all. So, all. So, all. So, all. So, all. So, all. So, it's a. So, it's a they. So, it's a they. So, it's a they. So, it was a little. So, it was a little. So, all. So, all. So, all. small, I'm cold, I'm cold, it's too small, don't want it. And anyway, they had it, but they moaned about it, right? The next night, it's the same towel, I'll give it to him, and they put it on no trouble

and gone in the rooms. And then Lou went, that's? Do you know what, Rob, your house, when they're teenagers is going to be, I am going to be fucking loving it. Do you know what, I think, I'm in the either storm? There's going to be some point scoring going on all, all ways between all four of you. The trifector, yeah, when there's three. I was throwing you in you in the the the point the point the point the point th. But the point th. But the point the point the point the point th. th. th. th. th. th. Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, the point the point their th. their tho, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, th. th. their th. their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Rob, Rob, Rob. th. their, Rob. their. th. th. their. th. th. the th. th. Rob. th. the the th. Rob. Rob. the th. Rob. the th. Rob. th. Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, the the tho. tho. tho. thoooo. the thooooo. thoo. tho. tho. tho yeah, when there's, yeah, there's three. I was throwing you in, but I don't mean you, Rob. I'm already slipping away from conversations. Like I found myself becoming that sort of like husband that like has to pretend to care, but doesn't really care anymore. Like we were having a conversation about moving something in the kitchen and doing the kitchen and we're speaking to the builder person about it. th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I tho, I was tho, I was tho, I was tho, I was throw, I was tho, I was tho, I was tho, I was tho, I was you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I tho, I the the the the thrown thrown throw throw throw throwing you throw throwing throwing you throwing you throwing you throwing you throwing you throwing you throwing you th moving something in the kitchen and doing the kitchen and we speak to the builder person about it and Lou sometimes goes a bit quiet

when we talk to builders. So I went, oh we would like the sink there, wouldn't we, Lou? I'm just so pathetic. Like, basically, tell me again what you want so I can pass that message on to a geyser. Please. Oh God. Anyone who has seen you on TV would know this is an astonishing thing to say. I think in about 15 years you're going to be one of those silent dads. Yeah, yeah, do you know what? I think I'm just going to exist and just float around. And you know, because I am very gobby and loud on tele, but a lot of those repeats you see of me on those shows, I literally had about eight quid in my bank account, so I was eager. I really, really needed to make an impact on that show.

Do you know what I mean? Sometimes you see some other people make their debutes on panel shows and you know, the parents have bought my flat in London and they're just sort of floating around being comedians and they sort of say a couple of things but I was I was real like dancing me monkey boy I was and I still am to a point I think what the worst I don't think we've ever done on a panel show? Well there was one that I rescued and then one that was just awful. So I was doing a Cat's does countdown very early doors. I was doing replace Sean Locke so I was on with Lee Mac and I look and I look at Red Jumper I look about six. I got asked to do it last minute so I flew in from

Austria where I was doing gigs had two hours sleep and then did countdown and I'm I'm terrible at countdown the best time and I was crap and I was crap. the the the the the the the the the to the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to told. I was. I was told. I was to to told. I was. I was to the the told. I was. I was. to me me me me me me me me me me me me. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I'm. C. C. I'm. C. I'm. I'm. C. I'm. C. I'm. I'm. C. I'm. I'm. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, t. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm terrible at countdown the best time and I was crap and then Lee Mac went oh what have I got him on my team and then the whole crowd like yeah who is he and I was like oh no and then I clawed that back by going to be fair though I was promised Sean Locke to Lee Mack because he was so that was fine and I think that laugh saved me it was like a little like but when I did would I lie to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the to the the to the to to to the to the the the to the the the the the the the the they. I'm they. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. I was toda. I was. I was. I was. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. Ithat laugh saved me. It was like a little like, but when I did what I lied to you, that was probably the worst I've ever done on a panel show. Because they spoke about banana for so long and I, I, I, I was too young. I was the youngest on the show by about 25 years.

And once you've gone o'er banana rama and then just been bullied for not being alive when banana rama are in the charts. There's not much else you can say, is it? Yeah. What's the worst you've ever done on a panel show? So now, whenever I do a panel show, before I do it, I pack my bag and that is because I can still remember how bad I felt having to pack up my bag after my one appearance or never mind the Ozcogs. What happened?

Who was hosting? The horn section. Okay. Why was it so bad? Not their fault. So the other team was, I'd say, a more exciting proposition than, uh, so Phil had been given me and Lewis Smith, the gymnast. The other team I would describe

is the quirkiest group of people I've ever seen in my life. He was on the other side. Noel Fielding, obviously, is captain. Tony Law, yeah. Yeah. A comedian who is, I'd say, makes Noel Fielding look like Michael McIntyre. Yeah, yeah. To give you an idea, Tony Law had brought an array of hats, which the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, it makes the old fielding look like Michael McIntyre. Yeah, yeah, to give you an idea, Tony Law had brought an array of hats which he put on and off throughout the show and Paloma Faith. So their team made us look like the three biggest squares that had ever lived. And then Rob,

within five minutes I'd upset Louis Smith quite badly. Oh no, what did you say? It's a gymnastkisa only with a little moustache? Yeah. He'd won silver at the Olympics in gymnastics. Yeah. And he showed us that he could moonwalk early on. And it was very impressive. And I said, to nothing I should have. It feels like a wedding between an accountant and an emo girl. And it's just all got awkward on the dance floor. th. And it. And it. It the dance. It's the dance. It's the dance. It's the dance. It's th the dance. th th th. th. th. th. What the dance. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What thi th. What th. What th. What the the th. What the th. What the the the the th. What th. What the the th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What? th. What? th. What? th. What? th. What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's that? It's the that? It's the the thi. It's the the the thi. It's thi. It's th. It's th., I should have. It feels like a wedding between an accountant and an emo girl. And it's just all got awkward on the dance floor. Some people are wearing really smart suits, some people just in jeans, don't really get the vibe.

Who's the more dominant partner? Well, not us. And then Louis Smith did moonwalking. And I said, maybe if you've done moonwalking you would have won gold. That's fair. That's a fair bit of bad now. No laugh. Plus Lewis Smith goes, that's not on. Not on!

Come on, mate. And then, little did we know that at the end, we were going to be surprised by a horn section song. Yeah. And you won't believe it. It was about me and Lewis Smith and it was called something like best of friends. Oh no, and he hates you. We have to put our arms around each other and dance to this song. This sounds awful. This doesn't just sound like your worst performance on a panel show. It sounds like the worst panel show of all time. It was no fault of the horn section obviously because they couldn't have anticipated what would happen five minutes into the show.

I had, you get a feeling when you're doing badly on a panel show. Did you get red? No, but my legs had that. You know that feeling where you you're being told off. And like, like when you were being bollocked as a child, but two and a half hours. Yeah, yeah, you know it's coming. Yeah. Oh, when I did never mind the buzzcocks, you know where they performed the intro at you

and you have to guess the song? Yeah. I had nothing, right? That was clean bandit. I went clean band it. Who the, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the the the the the the th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the th, like, like, like, like, like, you were, you were, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. thi. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thooooooooooooooooooooo. Like, likethey went, oh that, you got it wrong, that was clean bandit. I went clean bandit, who the fucking am I'm a clean bandit? And the girl was from clean bandit that had just been the talking. Oh no! Oh, it was awful. Oh God. So I did it all right on the show that I did last night but I told an anecdote that played to complete silence. Oh, so you did a panel show last night. You can say what it is, can't you? Oh yeah, yeah. I did something about movies last night. You did an anecdote to nothing?

To the point where there was a look, Alan Cart, who I consider a friend and a lovely man. He had a look on his face that said, that can't be it. And he is a generous generous generous generous generous generous thgenuous that that that that that that that thuuuuuuuuu all laugh that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that said that can't be it. And he is a generous guy. He's a generous laugh. He will laugh at almost anything to help out a friend. But that must have been bad then Josh if it just had a look on his face of like, that isn't it? Could I say one more thing? And I promise we'll get back to parenting, one more thing. I'm doing badly on a panel show. It's worrying how much ammo we've gotten our own thir there there there there there that there that there that tho that that tho that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that is that is therea thi thi thi thi thiou thiou thiou-a' thiou-a'er thiou'd thiou'd thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi is to thin to thin the to thea thea thin their their their their their their their thin thea thea thea thi promise we'll get back to parenting, one more thing I'm doing badly on a panel show. It's worrying how much ammo we've gotten our own terrible performances.

Is there anything worse than saying something shit on a panel show and then someone saying something funny off it and then you're watching it build into a really funny bit and you know that your unfunny bit at the start now has to make the edit to make all of the other of the other of the other of the other of the other of the other of the other of the other of the other of the other of the other of the other of the other of the other of the other of the other of the other of the other of the other of the other of the other the other ofing thoing ofing thoing thi.a. Wea. Wea. Wea. thoing tho. tho. tho. thi. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I.a.a.a. I.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. I.a. I. I. I. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. your unfunny bit at the start now has to make the edit to make all of the other things make sense. And you're sitting there going don't get another laugh whatever you're gonna say next don't get a laugh out of it it is building. Can we move on here guys what are you doing to me? This is building into a moment that was sparsified my failure let's not build it guys let's not make this a running a the the the their a the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I a th. I th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. the. the. the. to be to be the. to bea. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to bea. to bea. to bea. to bea. th. th. th. th. th. I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. t. t. te. te. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to the the the the. Let's not make this a running joke throughout the show. Let's not make me being shit at comedy, the laugh. That can't be the joke.

Sorry, we digress. We diggers. Right, look, I've got some Instagram messages and you've got some, let's do some parenting stuff before this turns into just two old men moments. All right, but can I just quickly say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say, but to say, but to say, but to say, but to say, but to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. But, th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. to thi. to me, to me, to to me, to to to to me, to to to to to to to to thi. the the thi. I mistakenly, this should be a, what's it called, not Crystal Castle, what's it called? The thing where we complain about something posh. Glass houses? Ivory Tower. I've been, thanks Michael. Michael said it's so furious. He's got a reddit this fucking mess. It's all over the place today. Michael said that like we've made that mistake 16 times. Absolutely furious. You know as long you spent on that jingle. Is there a jingle? I don't

don't listen back. I think if you listen back to your own podcast, you've got real mental health problems. I've got some absolute beauties here, which you'll enjoy considering the other podcast you about 90s football. This is from Lizzie Crane. Was just listening to you guys chatting about Rob's Origano from 2011, was reminded of around Christmas time 2019 at my granddad's house. He offered my husband and cousins beers, which they happily accepted. However, my husband turned down another one as to first was

cloudier and lumpier than lumper than lager. Oh my god. Normally, I don't I like, like like, it, it, it, it, it, it, I like, I like, the thi, I like, I like, I like, I like, thi, I like, thi, thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I thi, thi, th, I th, I th, I th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the the the the the the the the the the the th, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th, th, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to to tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom. tooom. tooom. thi, and 't know, like, it's slightly lumpy, some of the laguer, but it was cloudy and lumpy. They'd all drunk them anyway out of politeness and thirst. When recycling the cans, we discovered the beers were covered in advertising for the World Cup in France 1998 and went out of date in the same year. Absolutely amazing. Oh, and also that would have, it probably been unopened, would have been worth so much.

Oh. I'd have bought that off Ebo. I can hear, I mean, I know he's muted, but I know that Michael would do anything to own that can. Yeah, I know. What a can. The little chicken was a little chicken mascot, wasn't it? Right, this is an actual parenting one, not about my origano. Here we go. So, you know what I mentioned, well you might be taking the kids to Australia to do a tour.

Yeah, how's that going? Absolutely not going to happen. I've looked at the numbers. I've looked at the dates. There's no way I, spare that in mind. Yeah, so what we're doing is I'm going to go out there and do a bunch of dates and then just leave them at home and then it's better that way I think, Josh, for everyone involved. I think, I can see why you've done that Rob. It's like taking loads of tour managers and tors the pool, but is, is like going on a family holiday in which every evening your

wife has to sit in a hotel room with sleeping children. Yeah, all right. You have to do a gig you're very stressed about. Yeah, because I don't know about you. their old holiday, once you've been on the beach all day with the kids, you come home and get him on a bathed and then you do bedtime. What you really want to do is go to do whether whether whether to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do the the the the the to do the their. Iaugh on the their.au. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. their. I. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. toe. toe. toe. toe. to.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e. to. to.a.a.a. to.a.a. the the to. the kids you come home you get everyone bathed and washed and then you have something to eat and then you do bedtime what you really want to do is go on stage for an hour and half I think that's when you're at a peak performance because that happened once I took them down to Devon when I was doing those a warm-up shows right and then we were doing stuff and then they were doing stuff the to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their we were there with the grandparents, and she went, I don't feel I'm gonna come tonight actually to watch a show.

I was like, oh, okay, why not? She went, just a bit mackered to watch a show. I was like, we've done the same things and I've got to fucking do the show. You can't even sit and watch it, I've got to fucking do it. And then all I get is, oh, you just go around talking anyway, didn't you? You got you too tired to watch it? Anyway, this is a story about someone that flew with children from Australia. This is, this sort of prompted me not to want to do it. Hi, and Josh, listening from Melbourne, Australia and love the podcast. In light of Rob's recent thoughts about flying to Australia with the kids, I thought I'll tell you guys about our flight from Australia to the UK back in 2012

with my 20-month-old daughter and six-year-old son. We are traveling to London for a family wedding. My brother-in-law was getting married. in London during the 2012 Olympics and finding reasonably priced airfare and accommodation was impossible. The only way we could afford the trip was to go with the most budget airline we could find. Biggest mistake of our lives. As our daughter was under two, she was still classed as an infant, which meant she didn't have a seat instead. She would sit in our laps and sleep in a butternet. Looking back, I now know a 20-month-old is really a toddler and not an infant,

so we should have just paid full price for her own seat. Within the first half hour of the flight, she refused to sit on either of our laps or lying the butonet and screamed every time we've tried to make a do either, for the next day and a half in the air. All I was trying to do is keeping her screaming at bay. We also had no idea until they handed out the first meals that the infant ticket meant no meal for the infant. What? That meant in order for her to eat anything we had to share our three meals between the four of us. Meaning...

Fing G. Meaning we were meals between the four of us. Meaning, Fing G. Meaning we were all hungry the entire time. Because they've gone pure budget. When I asked in desperation if a snack could be found for us, they came out of a small bag of peanuts, which my daughter is allergic to, and they had no other options. I think at that point I had a little cry. I was still breastfeeding her at the time and it quickly became clear to us that the only way to keep her fed quiet

and still would be to feed her. So I pretty much had her attached to my boobs the entire way to England. By the way, that's... This is astonishing. We were so hungry by the time our plane landed for a stop in Dubai that we found a McDonald's and ordered the biggest feast of our lives. We took so long to be made and eaten we almost missed our connecting flight and had to run through the airport. All four of us completely delirious by that point. Did I mention the cheap flights including two stopovers which meant the entire journey was 40 hours. Oh my God. We're not finished there Josh. Anyway a few more things before I go. Can I just check? Yeah. Are they Austro- sorry, I missed it at the start. Are they are they English from coming home or they Australian? I think they're Australian

visiting for a wedding. Just for a wedding? Yep. Oh. Brother in their as well she doesn't even want to be there. Oh God. This makes me feel so much better about my thrown. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to. the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to me. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, the the the the the the the the the th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. to. to. to, the to. to. to. to. the to. the the the the th. thi. the th. I also, this makes me feel so much better about my life. Before I finish, only two of our three screens worked, which meant my husband and I had to watch movies in shifts. And the worst bit of all, no alcohol was served on the plane. What? When I asked for a glass of wine at one desperate point to take the edge off and was told there was no alcohol served on the flight. I truly think it was one of the lowest lowest lowestto my parrot in life. By the way, I never breastfed again. Literally, the flight killed all the joy I had previously experienced while breastfeeding and we we weaned her cold turkey as soon as we arrived in the UK. Wow. Anyway the kids are 10 and 14 now and we survived a flight but it was a fucking nightmare and I've learned the hard way. Never flight budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. I the the the the the the the the hard way. Never fly budget with kids. Does that have to go back? Yep that's fly back. Oh that is that's the worst story of just the anxiety. 40 hours and when you get tired you can't think brutal. Oh my god it was awful but yeah so that

makes feel a bit better didn't it mate? Oh well I did feel better about my own life. I tell you up I've got another 90s football in the theme of cheering you up. th. th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's. that's that's that's that's that's th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I's. I's. Oh. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm the the the the the the the th. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. that's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I life. I tell you, I've got another 90s football in the theme of cheering you up. This is someone from Instagram, Rizzard, I think that is. It's hard to tell with all these wacky insta names. You know when people have like different, there's like a capital letter in the middle just to be wacky. Anyway, yeah. Oh no, so it's Rizzled on Instagram, but my name is R.H.I. says as I. Hello, Rizzy. And I'm an avid L.P.H.H. I just listened on today's podcast about children interrupting sporting events and had to get in touch. My birthday is the 30th of June, 1998. As my dad rang his mom, my naun to announce she had become a grandmother for the first time she answered the phone with Beckham's just been sent off. It's 22 years on and my dad still won't let me forget that I made him miss the England Argentina game in that year's welcome. Your podcast has

get me through trying to teach online in these crazy times keep up the great work. Thanks Rizzi. I am so relieved that this baby is coming before the Euros. Genuinely I think you are you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi to thi thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to that this baby is coming before the euros. Genuinely, I think you are going to have one of the best euros of your life, okay? Yeah, I think I am. Because you can't, you're not working, you're not having to win it. You're not going to win it. You're not working much because of the baby. You say because of the baby, that's what, I'm trying to tell myself. Is it worth investing in some sort of Google glasses that you can just put on and you just what and it sort of beams of football into your head or like I think you

need to be looking at iPad, iPad stand, something that is flexible and movable, a clip that you could just put into your leg or something? So that I can take it with me. Can I suggest something? Yeah. I think you should get some sort of like gilae that's that's their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to th. I. I. I. I. th. th. I, th. I'm, to be. I'm, th. I'm. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm. I'm. I, I, I'm, I, I'm, I, I'm, I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I, I. I. I, I, I, I, I, I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm just, t. I'm just, try. I'm just, try. I'm just, try. I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm try. Iilles that's utility built it up and I you know like one man bands that have a harmonica chain like net you know like a metal thing that goes over their head and in front of them and you can just like a phone holder with a football so if you're feeding if you're holding if you're going for a walk your hands free. Do you know what? I've earned this, Rob. You've earned it, Josh. No one will judge for that.

Anyone that sees you do that will go, fucking legend. Yeah. That's all they'll be thinking. And do you know what? They'll be right. They'll be absolutely right. You know, something in. Something in. to put something in. to put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's their. that's that's the., that's the., that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that for the buggy so you when you're walking through the park you can have the football on and then your headphones in and then you can run a hot spot off your phone. Yes I can't wait to go back to the truck to having a

child who I don't feel guilty about looking at my phone in front of. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. A child who I can push around the park and I can put my headphones in and that's not a bad thing to do because they're three weeks old. It's not. In a way what you could, what I would do is maybe stick them like funny color things or like weird shapes onto the back of the iPad or phone so as you move and look it moves and engages with a kid. There we go. That's and that's a the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I tho tho th that that. I can tho tho tho tho. I can tho. I can tho tho tho tho th. I th. I th. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I I th th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the. I the. I the. I the. I thee. I theeat the. I the. I the. I the. I the the the of the iPad or phone so that as you move and look it moves and engages with a kid. There we go. That's and then that's a good parenting that they're you know because really the beauty of parenting is not having to engage with children that

that young. The infant stage we don't have to actually engage with them. You know because of the first one you try and pretend they're try and pretend to they're they're to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. their their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. their. their. their. their their their their their their their they're not. They're looking at fuck all for about eight months. Absolutely not. They don't care. They just want milk and sleep. Do you know what I'm going to say, Rob, about young children? About babies? I'm going to come out and say it, I don't want to hold your baby. I've got no interest. You've got sent out to Rose, are you? No, I'm not saying that to hold my baby. I'm 100% percent percent the same the same the same the same the same the same to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to hold to hold to hold to hold to hold to hold to hold to hold to hold to hold to told, to hold to hold to hold to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tooom. tooome. tooome. tooom that to Rose. I like holding my baby. I'm 100% the same. I do not make, I do not want to hold your job. That's why I've never really run for office or to be prime minister. The thought of having to hold a random baby that's more than some sort of personal. No, I'm 100% I do not want to hold anyone's baby.

Couldn't give a shit. I couldn't give it th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm to to to to have to to, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've to, I've, I've to, I've to, I've to, I've, I've, I've to, I've, I've, I've, I to, I, I, I, I, I to to to to to to the the the the the the th. I've th. I've th. I've thi, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I have to and you know, there's so much more to lose than there is to game by holding someone's baby. I don't even like holding a dog, a little dog just in case you drop it. Never mind a baby. Do you want to hold my baby? Of course I don't. In the same way, I don't want to hold your vase. Do you know what I mean? Also, as well there's a bit of like an annoying attention attention, thinking power, like, and like, thiiiiii, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to sleep to be like look I can do it because that's not helpful because all you do it is you make the parent feel like shit exactly I mean it's quite helpful like if you something they go oh do you mind I'm knackered and you try and do it if you like the grandparent or something like that or

you are literally helping them but like when people go let me so you sort of be on the back off. Absolutely F. Right. Hi Josh and Rob, this is from Anna Vigors. So, my son was around one and a half when this took place. I want to make it clear that it is absolutely fine and healthy and I'm now a more vigilant parent. I love, I love this email already. Yeah, it's a good start, isn't it? Because now I've got free rain to laugh at the horrific thing that's going to be explained that we now know he's safe and it's fine. He's safe and foreign.

It was a warm spring day and I was rushing about trying to prepare to leave the house to take myself from two kids to the local breastfeeding support club, aka boobub club. and the biscuits and the occasional bit of child support advice. In my haste to get the drink sorted and into Tommy Tippie cups for our journey, I grabbed and filled my son's cup with organic apple juice concentrate. I then filled it up with water and off we went. On arrival at Boob Club, my son got out of the push chair, started laughing like a nutter and walking into a wall. One of the mums said, he looks like an old drunk.

We laughed because he did look wrecked, to be fair. It was only when I was refilling his cup that he had absolutely necked that I smelled, it was not apple juice, but vodka. The vodka and blackberry stuff would recently made and decanted into the exact same bottles but forgotten to label. I know he's fine now, but this still seems bad. Yeah, it is bad. He's fine.

He's fine. He's fine. He's fine. How far can that caveat get you if that had been a problem? Sure that he's fine now, don't worry. I was absolutely absolutely absolutely absolutely absolutely absolutely absolutely absolutely absolutely absolutely absolutely absolutely absolutely absolutely absolutely absolutely absolutely absolutely absolutely absolutely absolutely absolutely absolutely absolutely absolutely absolutely that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that that that I that I that my sense of humour took over and I announced everyone that I thought he may indeed be pissed up on homemade vodka and blackberry. The reception was Luke warm. The laughs turned to straight faces.

Yeah. I was a terrible mom. I gave him water, milk and any kind of carb I could find to try sober him up. Oh no! Oh my god. He was thankfully absolutely fine, slept well that night, but I didn't. What a palava! Oh my god, you'd feel so bad and it's such like a quick error. Oh, see what though? It makes me feel really good about me being a parent.

Yeah, that kind of thing is an absolute win, isn't it? Really, let's be honest, that kind of email is exactly what this podcast is for. Yes, exactly. Thank God for the caveat. Thank God for the caveat. Now, Rob, shall we end with some shouts to small businesses? Yes, I've got one for you, brava.

This one, it's not a new business business it's a family run local business and also I only just found out they did this and I like this so I think I'm going to spread the word. Okay so this Manseys Pymas Shop in South London, South East London? No I don't. So it's a Pymas Shop. It was opened a hundred nineteen years ago and we are now on the fourth generation. Still the same family? Yep. So Emma and her husband Tom are running it now with Emma's dad Rick and they'll hopefully pass down the business to their two little boys one day. They're big fans of the podcast. We offer chilled because obviously Pyramash Shop has been shut up

shut with a lot of hospitality venues but now and they this is a quite a new thing because pie mash shop is so old school and traditional. They don't always, some of them shut up 2 PM because that's just what they used to do. But now they offer chilled deliveries all over mainland UK. At W, W, W, W, W, that's Manzi. That's M.A.N.Z. Dot. That's good. For people missing their pie and mash that. out of London. Instagram is at Manzi, Pye and Mash. Thanks so much, take care and look forward

to coming to see us on tour. Dada da da da. Yeah, and we are welcome to come down and learn to be pier makers one day if you want Josh. Oh well, there we go. Something to fall back on. I'm wondering how it's going on panel shows. Yeah, exactly. But yeah, 120 years have been going and you can, they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to come to to to to to to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to to to come to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. I their. their. their their their. their. their. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to see us've never had it it's a good way to try it I definitely not have the jelly deals no they're horrific not not mansees ones just in general but the stewed ones are nice but yeah so if you want pyomash you can get it now anywhere in the UK there we go okay here is one this is from honeyborne jewelry so we love your podcast and listen to it in our jewelry shop and workshop on the sunny I love white. We're a small independent family-run business amongst lots of things we make and create

these pieces which make the perfect Father's Day gift. Your Charles drawing translated onto key rings, pictures and pendant charms. It would make our day if you could give us a shout out, honeyborne jewelry, that kind of thing is absolutely a winner and I wish I'd thought of that about 20 years ago. What? This feature is not for you to steal the ideas of small businesses, Josh Whitakam. What what's there have they got an Instagram they've got a website that's all I've got H o N E Y honey born B on B U R N E jewelry which is jewelry dot com I think it'd be

really unfair to steal the ideas I think we should just promote it you know would you like Beckett and Whitakums, Pymash? Yeah, if you've got any good, if you've got a small business that's a good idea, do send them in and we won't read them out, but we might start a very similar business. This will be like a very like, like low-levels, for free. Thank you very much. So Honeyborn and Manzies are our shout-outs this week. Sending your small business shout-outs and we'll do our best. We get a lot in, but we try

and read out as many as we can, don't we, Josh? Yeah, particularly we've had a very slow week we'll read out more. So it works. If nothing's happened to us, there'll be about 70 of those. Also as well we should say thank you very very much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. th. to thi thi. to thi. to to to to to to to to to th. to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to to to to to to to to the. to the. We the. thank you very much to Charlie Baker. There's been such a big positive response to him talking about miscarriage and try and try and for babies and stuff. And yeah, he's, if you go and follow Charlie Baker's Instagram, he's got links if you are interested in that kind of thing with the miscarriage association and I think it's called Silver Star Babies, which is a charity that he was using when he was trying and it's some Charlie Baker comedian is his name on Instagram going to follow and he's got links on there to the civil star babies and miscarriage association

for anyone that maybe wants a bit more help and guidance on the matter but yeah thank you Charlie for being so honest and also he texted me to say how nice you know how much the response is meant to yeah he said, he said that in the Insta feed. He said it was really, you know, I think a bit choked up about the Instaveen was so positive and it was obviously quite difficult for him to talk about. So thank you very much Charlie. Well done on you because I think it's a good thing to talk about. Yeah. So Josh. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a th. It's a th. It's a tod. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a tod. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a the the the the the century. The old ton up, the old one and two o's. Raising our bats to the pavilion, Rob. Ah, the old one more than 99.

One less than 100. The old big 100. The old sign that the idea is running out of steam. Oh, get a letter from the Queen. Handy, the old 50 times two. Anyway, we've got Ellis James to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate to celebrate the big to celebrate the big the big the big the the the Queen, Hundy, the old 50 times two. Anyway, we've got Ellis James to celebrate the big on hundred. Returning. We thought, because the thing with this show is obviously parent had changes and people's experiences change and so we thought it'd be nice over the coming months to occasionally revisit favorite

favorite friends to see how they're getting on. Yes, well maybe tag us on Instagram and tag us on Twitter and tag in the guest you want to return and we'll try and tap them up that way. We've had loads of me. 100 episodes Josh. Doesn't time fly? Doesn't time fly. I tell you what we should maybe play on Friday before the Ellis interview is I've got the voice note of you coming up with the idea the idea the idea the idea the idea the idea the idea the idea the idea the idea the idea the idea. the idea. the idea. the idea. the idea. the idea. I the idea. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. to. I'm. I'm. I'm. to. to. I'm. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I. I. I. I'll. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I..... I. I... I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. And. And. And. And. to. to. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. tog. t. t. tog. t. t. t. t. to. should maybe play on Friday before the Ellis interview is I've got the voice note of you coming up with the idea for this podcast It's quite funny. We'll try and find that and play it out. Look forward to it. We will see you later. Bye