Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S02 EP32: The one where Rob gets a snack station...

Episode Date: May 11, 2021

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL'S02 EP32: The one where Rob gets a snack station...More misadventures in parenting and beyond...Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks - Rob and Josh xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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and member terms apply hello I'm Josh Whitakam welcome to lock down welcome to lockdown the show in which Rob and I to be a parent during lockdown which I would say can be a little tricky. So in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation. And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. Hello and you are listening to lockdown parenting hell with...

Can you say Rob Beckett? Can you say Josh Widdicoon? Sorry? Josh Widdycoon. Now get away! What the hell's going on there? The kid tells her to go away at the end. And do you know what? Rightfully so.

Because we've had some kids do much worse than that and never has the parent gone. Sorry? Yeah. What did you say? That is totally unacceptable. Are we going to get like sued in years to come for some sort of like child labor where they were used in an entertainment format without any like, you know, it was just sort of there was no pay, there was no contract, no want to pay. In about 30 years there'll be a TV show called It Was All Right in the

20s and they'll be like comics go listening to our podcast going, couldn't you believe they got away with this? It's ridiculous. There are weird union things, like acting unions are way more on it than comedian unions, because I did fresh meat about 10 years ago in one scene and then occasionally I'll get like 70 P holiday pay. Right. What's going to read you actually on the hat? I'm going to read you my last statement. Yeah. Your last statement sounds like you're about to end it all. This is my last one. I've had enough. I can't cope with time passing whatever it was you said.

It was a lot bleaker in retrospect than at the moment. Yeah. Put him down in an email. What you said last week? What was it? I can't handle the passing of time. Yeah well do you know what my friend Charlie Crosby Matthew Crosby in fact the the person who began Crosby's law on this podcast she's such an avid listener on Monday morning on the on the morning of release Tuesday morning. Tuesday morning got a text from her to say she said I can't cope with the passing of time either. Oh that's good to know. Yeah, no exactly and it's you know is a bird in the back. their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. t. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the passing of time either. Oh that's good to know. Yeah so it's good that I'm not alone. Yeah no exactly and it's you know is a bird in the background. Rob you can't

call them that these days. It is a bird because I've got the window open on that Rob. Yeah your statement go on holiday pay. I'm going to read you my last statement so we get a monthly statement of what we've earned don't we from't we from our agent? Yeah, pay slip. I got some royalties from the last leg. Oh get you. So for the fourth quarter of 2020. Yeah. Last leg, series two, royalties, 12 P. Last leg, series three, royalties, 28 P. Is it like the equation worked out on jokes per episode that get in? Last leg series six, seven P. What's that from? What are the royalties?

I don't know. Think how many people have been involved in that chain of that money getting to me? Do you know what I mean? How much paperwork has gone into that 7P arriving in my account? Well, and also as well, like who's rounding up and who's running down the 15% um... I should have a word with the agent, shouldn't I? I'm just speaking to the account on that. Are they rounding up or, are you half a p up or down on that? That's what I of the P. Before I see any of it, I'm down to 4P. Oh dear, you pay your expenses out of that. You're looking at a Pee of royalty, isn't it? I got 4 to be weird because fresh meat was repeated in Argentina. And all I could think was, imagine what Whitehall's got to be looking at what I've got

a wanner, under a quid on that? Under quid. He's got to be under quid, he's getting underquid at least, did he? Jack Whitel. Yeah. Better, better split than me for one episode. Anyway, just how are you how are you thin? What's happening? What's that we're... I'm fucking nervous job. Sorry to sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. We's. We's. Sorry. We's. We's. We's. We's. this. this. this. this. this. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the th. th. th. th. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I I I I's. I's. I's got. I's got. I's got. I's got. I's got. I's got. I's got. I's going. I's going. I's going. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm th. out it's C-section day so how you feeling we're a few days away? Yes so this is we're recording this early yes I'm nervous actually Rob I am nervous well yeah it's horrible you said you a lack of control isn't it you kind of think you can do is there at all? There's nothing I can do the cliche reassurance I'd love some cliche reassurance look she'll be in the safest place possible. Yeah yeah I mean I mean and it's you know all the COVID cases are down so hospitals aren't overwhelmed she'd have the best care and you just being there will be enough. I mean

last time it was an emergency C-section. Oh no. So she was 10 days late late last time. Classic Rose. Classic Rose, bloody hell mate. For bloody everything. Too busy bloody doing her hair I imagine, am I right? Oh, I've been changing her outfit. Oh I don't know about that. Is that a bit sexist? Yeah, I was being ironic. Oh, okay, so it just felt like you meant that. You're just having a major in your time. Yeah, I just thought this was the time to bring it up. Because she'll be just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just th th the th the the th the th the th. I just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just their their their their their their their their their their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just just something something. I just felt they. I just felt the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the same. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was so so so. I'm just. I'm just. So. I'm just. So. So. So. I just. So. So. So. I just. I just. So. So. I just. So. I just. I just. So. I just. So. So. I just. So, you. Sothe time to bring it up because she'll be listening to this podcast. I'm putting this podcast on during the Cesarian to today. I feel be good just to keep a bit of light relief while she's having the seat action. Exactly. We can all enjoy a laugh yeah is that why you're sort of being quite unfunny so she doesn't laugh too much.

No Rob it's because I've only been paid 7 P so that's how much... Yeah I mean if you ain't getting the P you won't get in the lulls. I mean I've always said that that's my business strategy. So yeah I'm very... So last time we went in she was induced and then had to to have an emergency C-section at... that's not fun. For... time of a their their their their their their their to be to be to be their to be to to to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. the th. the the the. the the. the. the the. the the. the. the. the. to to to to to to to to to to to to have an emergency C-section at 4. That's not fun. For, for, time of birth, 425 a.m. Yeah, that's not one or the other is it 425? It's not morning, it's not night, is it?

What is that supposed to? Yeah, why would you be up at 425? Do you know what I mean? Holiday? Exactly. And I wouldn't have slept if I was up at that, if I had to get up at that time, too much pressure. Now you power on have a kip on the plane, didn't you?

Yeah, exactly. Since 4.25, I was born at 5 p.m. in the corridor of a hospital because put me to me. People always say you're quick, Rob. And you're even at birth, you were quick. Yeah, I came too quick with a joke and, you know, in the bedroom, but that's something I'll be working on, mainly to sort of breathing techniques and visualizing things. Think of Romish, don't you?

Think of what I'm think of rubbish. I don't think that anymore and I can last for ages. Um, what I'm talking about? I've had three coffees. I feel a bit weird. Three coffee. This is about you, it's about you and Rose. It's about you and rose. This the big, the big, the big, the big thing. So I am nervous. Yeah. There's nothing you can thinking about it will make you more stressed and just have a bag packed, get some food and drink for when roses allowed food and drink. We've got a to-do list Rob between now and then. Well top of the list, what's that? Have baby? Well top of the list. Between now and then, sorry, between now and them, yeah. Have a C-section? I was like sure, that's a pretty short list and it. Have to have a sea section, the the the the th and th and th and the th and th. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, to, th. Yeah, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to-a, to-I. We's, to-I. We's, to-I. We's, to-I. We's, to-wee, to-a, to-a, to-a, to-a, to-a, we, to-a, we's, we's, to-a, we's, we's, to-a, to-a, to-a, to-a, to-a, to-a, to-a, to-a, to-a, to-a, to-s. We's to-s. We're to-s. We've to-s. We've to-s. We've-s. We've to-s. We've to-s. We've to-wea, we've to-a, we've. Last time we had a C-section, Rob. Have you? I don't know if you've ever been in a C-section room.

No, no, no. I try and get in now and again, but they sort of don't like. Do you know what, Rob? It's worth, if you can get in and see one. It's a really, it's a good, it's a good, it's a good, it's a good, it's a good, it's a good, it's a good, it's a good, it's a good, it's a good, it's a good, it's a good, it's a good, it's a good, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a thi. It's a th. It's a thi. It's a th. It's't forget it. It's like Ascot, you wouldn't want to go again, but it's fun to get dressed up. Exactly. It's good to tick it off the bucket list, isn't it? Put scrubs on! What I want to really wash my hands like I mean? It really feels. I know this sounds weird. I was shocked by how much it feels like an operation, if you know what I mean? Yes, well it is, isn't it? Yeah, that's, I feel much better now. Thank you. It's no different from having your appendix out. Yeah, yeah, that's all right.

Appendix is fine, that's pretty normal on it, around the meal. Yeah, well, I've got my appendix out, rather than I couldn't do celebrity tipping point. It was a really disappointing. Oh, because your appendix, you couldn't do it's the the app. the app. the app. the app. the app. the app. the app. the app. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that. thi. Yeah. App. Appendix. Yeah, it's, it's that's that's that's that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure you get asked back. Not so far. No, I have been actually. I have been, but I was, I was isolating due to another TV show. I'll be honest with you. Oh, well, you've had a nightmare. The ceaq ticking point. Um, saga has been a real problem in my life. Well, I can't focus on Ben Shepard on screen just because I can never know what he's doing his waistcoat with sleeves rolled up. He's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. th. I. I. I. th. I. th. I. I. I. th. th. I's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. I've thi. I've thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I've thi. I've thi. I's is is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their is is is their is their. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm to to to to ti. I was. I'm toeeea. I was. I was. I was. I was toea. I was thea. I was thi.? Like this, I'm Ben Shepard, I'm in with Kate Garroway, on Good Morning Britain, I've gone full suit. Hold up, is that Chris Kamara, a ninja warrior? Here we go. Let's roll those sleeves up. I look like, I'm the manager of Mumford and sons. I'm pretty chilled. Yeah, I do news. You do to school signals a fresh start for students.

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Imagine a stag-do. Everyone pissed on Ninja Warrior. I'd love to go on total wipe out as well, Rob. Yes, yes, I would. That's a... Joe swashed that and he broke his shoulder and his ass came out and he had to drag him on short. Sorry. Don't know I'm laughing. They're two sing about? They're two separate incidents, aren't they? His ass came out of his shoulder, because he broken it.

He broke his shoulder and he fell in the water or something, like I've disocated it. But and then they dragged him out, but as they dragged him out. All their towar old swash, his his his his his his his his his his. Limp, holding his shoulder of his knob and ass out. Oh my God. Poor old Swashie. Anyway, sorry, let's get back to C-section,

but you've got your to-do list. What's your on your to-do list between now and there? We've got to sort the nursery out. Okay, that's very generic to do this for seven years. She's gonna sort the house out this week. Do you know what? We're gonna finally sort the house out after all these years. I'm gonna sort it. I'm just go through stuff and make space. Yeah, it's quite a weird list because it's like sort the house out, buy some USB leads and also choose a name.

So there's different levels of importance on them. Sure. the the the the the the their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. I's. It's different. I's different. I's different. I's different. I's different. I's different. I's different. I's different levels. I's different levels. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's to. It's to. It's just just just just just going. It's just just going. It's just just. It's just going. It's just just. It's USBC? Well, it's a little smaller USB cable, that's what's going to replace USB's. Is it? Yeah, so I don't need to go too heavy on the USB cables and then USB come out of nowhere. Okay, all right. I'm glad you've told me I'll tip that off my list. Don't forget the little Android ones as well for Kindle. th. th. th. thia, thia, thia, thia, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's that's thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's thi. thi's thiii. thiii. thiiiii. thii. thi. thi Yeah, yeah, it's like a news of the world editorial room floor. I don't know what I'm talking, I'm just, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. It's just falling out. I've had, I've had too many coffees but too late in the day so the caffeine's there but the brain isn't. Yeah. No, the energy is there but I'm not committing. the energy. the energy. the energy. the energy. the energy is the energy. the energy is the energy is the energy. the energy is the energy. the energy. the energy. the energy. the energy. the energy. the energy. the energy. the energy. the energy. the energy. the energy is. the energy is. the energy energy energy energy energy energy is the energy is the energy is the energy is. the energy is. the energy. the energy. the energy. the energy. the energy. the energy energy. I's energy energy Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I. I th. I enjoyed. I've. I've. I enjoyed. I enjoyed. I enjoyed. I enjoyed. I enjoyed. I enjoyed. I enjoyed. I enjoyed. I've. I this. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I enjoyed. I've. th. th. th. th. I enjoyed. I enjoyed. I enjoyed. I enjoyed. I enjoyed. I enjoyed. I enjoyed. I enjoyed. I th. And that actually, I found reassuring. Oh, that's good. Yeah, I would recommend that to anyone. I do enjoy it. What episode was it? Uh, episode six.

It was about having a second kid. Oh, okay. There was a lot about the first 10 minutes about what you should do during the pregnancy was slightly too late for me. But the rest of it made sense. The rest was rest was rest was rest was the rest was the rest was the rest was very rest was very rest was very the rest was very that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's th. I, to be. I, toe. to be. to be. toea. toea. toea. I, tooes. I, tooes. I, toe. I. I, toe. I, toe. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. to. to. to. I. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. toe. toe. toe. t t t toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to. to. to. toe. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. sense. The rest was very useful. I do feel like a lot of it really, it's really about the first kid, isn't it? Yeah, managing them.

The second one don't know what's going on. It's like an ornament that needs feeding, in it? Like in the first few weeks, but it's the first one that, well that's the problem. and you go, oh yeah that's what I should have done before I completely fuck my kid up in the edge. Brilliant, now I know, right. That's great that is. Because before ignorance was bliss and I could just assume that I did it right, but oh no, that's what I did wrong and that's why that one's mental. I'm just going to listen to a podcast about how to to do well in Edinburgh, Rob, and then... Can I tell you about my trip to IKEA? Oh, lovely, please.

Do you know I've never been to Ikea, Rob? Never? Yeah, but your house is nicknamed. No, no, no, we've got there. But we've all done it on mail order. And now I've never been, I feel like, and now have you not gone there? It's an absolute gold mine. I know, but I feel like I've gone there because I've seen so many comedians, the arrows, the meatballs, the diagrams.

I think you could do an IKEA observational routine. That's quite a funny angle when you go look, look, I'm not a majoring in a comedian, but I've never been IKEA, but I've heard enough about it about it, I'm going, I it, I'm going to give it a go. And then you can sort of gauge the audience's reaction. And then if you're getting it a bit wrong, they'll go, what? You know, oh, no, not that, not that. That's quite fun, isn't it? I'd love you to see you do that in a working progress.

Yeah, I'm gonna start a whole to do a thiiii' that. I don't know why not you're worried about it passing you've done fuck all with it? You've had a crispy cream and been on gear? Oh my life, come on. Why not why haven't you had a crispy cream? They're outrageous. Do you know what? I just hadn't for a long time and then I've been in many situations in the last few years where I could have had a crispy cream donut. All right, show off. It's all right for some, that. that. that. that. that. that. that. It's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the th. th. th. to to to be the to they. they. that. I's th. th. they. th. th. th. they. their their their their their their their their their their their. I their. I their. I their. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I's th. I's thi. I's thi. I's that that that thirty. It's. It's thooooooooooooooooooooooome. Oh. Oh. Oh, than. Oh, swimming through crispy creamsies night eating and just frying them on the floor. But, Rob, and this says a lot about me as a weird person, every time I thought I would like a crispy cream donut.

But I do enjoy telling people I've never had a crispy cream donut more than I enjoy the crispy donut itself, so I'm going to keep my record of never having had a crispy cream donut more than I enjoy the crispy cream donut in self so I'm going to keep my record of never having had a crispy cream donut. I think you're really overplaying how impressive that is as a fact. Really it just so... I don't I'm not like oh my god guys have you heard I'm a bit like oh that's a shame isn't it for his tongue. I don't think you can angle the sugar. I think you're two 90s British. You can't handle American flavors. Have you ever been Costco?

Uh, no, I haven't been to Costco. Josh, we need to take, I'll need to take you, golf, Costco, I need to take you, the Cosco, and I I, and I, and I, and I, to, the, to, to, to, to, the, to, to, the, to, to, to, to, the, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, their, to-n, to-n, to-a, to-n... to-a, to-a, to-n. to-a, to-a, to-a, their, I think you need a weekend for that. You could do that. Costco is a massive warehouse of all American food in it. Oh yeah. And American things and you have to be like self-employed to get membership. It's like a cash and carry. It's like a cash and carry. It's like macro on steroids.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, I kio, right. right? I went with my wife Louise, the three-year-old and Tom Allen. Oh my word. Who's just moved, I think we can tell what, he's just, as he's mentioned, he's moved out, he's got a house now and he ain't right. He told me? Yeah, he's told you, he's told me. Anyway, well I know, it was in IKEA, you need stuff for his thrown, to thiii. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to told to to to to to told told to told told told told told told told told told told told told told told told told to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. to thi. thi. thi. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. tho tho tho, tho, tho, tho, tho tho, a polo shirt and a big knitted cardigan. Yeah, okay. So he looked posh but it was sort of not on stage posh. You know what I mean? That's sort of a a bit for a middle-aged man on a yacht. Yeah. That kind of vibe, that's what it was. Can Tom Allen do jeans? He can, but they,they they he wears them as a trouser Right they're very very smart jeans

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're talking bright blue bright stitching Yeah, fitted nice boot and then I think was a shirt or a polo shirt with a big thick cardigan. Yeah, and then his coat. Anyway, so how long does it takes going to go in our key here? Oh? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thick cardigan. Yeah. And then his coat. Anyway, so how long does it take to go on Ikea anyway? But a three-year-old, my wife and Tomah... We're in there for four hours. Four hours? I hope you had some of their famous meatballs. Oh, did you never have any of their meatballs because it says they're inside catering, is there? Of course there's no. Oh my God, Rob. Four hours! Josh, we we we we we we we we we we we were. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. we. we. we. we. we. we. We we. We were. We were we were we were we were we were th. We were th. We were in th. We were in th. We were in th. We were in th. We were in th. We were in th. We were in th. We were in th, we were in th, we were in th, we were in th. We were in th. We were in th th th th th th th th. We were in th. We were th. We were th. We were th. We were th. We were th. We were th. We were th. We were th. We were in th. We were in th. We were in th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the the the the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. We were in there so long I saw an Ikeer employee come in for their shift and then leave after their shift. Ha ha ha ha. So what did you buy? What did you want to do? Were you there for specific or were you there for? Well Tom Allen has moved into his place but he's been working loads so he had zero in his house. So he needed everything but anyway we went out and got we needed to two sofas and stuff like that. So we need just just th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th thi thi thi they tho they tho thi thi thi their thea. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. to their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the. the. too. too. too. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. we needed some sofas and stuff like that. So we need just some stuff in his house so he sort of got a lot of cheap stuff to tie him over type thing. Yeah. Just like you know and so he had a look at sofas which he's gonna all online. Yeah. When I bought a sofa. Yeah I didn't

know it takes six weeks. Exactly. Minimum minimum. Those are the longest six weeks of your life. I know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. Yeah. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. Yeah. Yeah...... Yeah.... Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah. Yeah... Yeah.. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. weeks of your life. I know. So we went and then he's found what he likes and he's managed to get some there and we managed to order some so he's getting it delivered and then he lose going with him and I'm having a kid's to home sense next week because I had to tap out. I couldn't do another another go of it. But yeah, so that was and the three-year-old was so well behaved. But the three. But, but the three. But, the three, the three, th. But, thi. But, the three, th. But, th. But, th. But, the three, the three, the three, th. But, the three, the three, the three, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, the three, the, their. But, to to to to to to their. But, and their. But, and their. But, and their. But, and the, and the, the, and the, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, their. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they. And, the, the.time in the toy section and getting her telies and stuff. I was there a toy section, is there? Yeah, oh, mate, I can't believe you've never been. This is outrageous. But there was one purchase, which I think,

I've got to the point now, or I don't even argue with Louie about Right, which is like a little trolley on wheels. I'm gonna send it to you. So we've got a snap drawer in our kitchen, yeah? There is a draw, but it's a second level up draw just below the worktop. So all the kid, the girls literally open it and lean on it to look in it and it's gonna snap. I can just I can just I can sense a snap. Here he's here he is. He don't mess about it. They. They. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try snap, so they're obviously going to break it because that's what kids do. They lean on stuff, you tell them not to, until it breaks, right? So I've been saying to do, we need to change that. So let's just put it in a box or a cupboard that's on the low level so that they open the cupboard and they don't snap the drawer. snacks on. There's absolutely no need. So is this your snack draw or is this is this a example of one?

So this is our snack drawer at the moment, yeah, but what loose plan is to put in it, all the health, fruit shoots need to go in place of water or they're just left over from a party so she put them in there. But what she wants to put in there is all healthy snacks that they can help himself to whenever they're their their their their. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. their. their. their. their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, th. So, th. So, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. help himself to whenever they're hungry, which I still don't think they should be in charge of this. There's a lot of, do you know what? Yeah, and we fall back on these a lot of their, raisons. There's a lot of oat cakes in there. We get a lot of oak cakes, but they're a lot of. But raisins are a sugar. And I do it regularly. I don't think they should just have unlimited access to a buffet cart at the age of three. They should still be asking. It does look like you're going to first class on a train saying, choose what you want. Yeah, exactly.

So, but I mean, anyway, it's obviously going to break, the girls are going to find out that it moves, they're going to jump on it, there's going to be food everywhere, and then we're just going to find crushed up biscuits everywhere where they've helped themselves. And how much use you're getting out of the wheels? Well, I don't know, I don't know why you'd need to wheel it. Yeah. I've got to buy. Yeah, as soon as we get home, I can't go to IKEA for four hours and come home empty-handed. As soon as we got home, she immediately put it up, almost to prove a point. I was going to ask whether you put it up, Rob. No, I didn't. She did it herself, she did it herself. Because the diagrams in those bloody ikea things. Oh, here here. So, bloody confusing. So, you guys. Get ready ready. Get the stuff. Get the stuff. Get the stuff. Get the stuff. Get the stuff. Get the the the they. Get the the the the. the. Get th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. the to. the to. the to. to me. the th. She. to me. to me. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's immediately. She's immediately. She's immediately. She's. She's immediately. She's immediately. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's I mean, I don't even know what a bloody different type of... I don't really... I'm struggling with... Different length screws, something about different length of screws?

Yeah, I don't know. If I wanted a long screw, I'd bloody well, uh, something about sex. See, the thing is, it doesn't come straight away. We may look, it may look effortless sometimes, but it took a long time to get there. That would be good by the tour though. As well as your fat, my whip bread stuff. I've basically read it. My fat, my whibread stuff were away. So that, Rob, can I ask you some questions about IKEA? Yep. Four hours?

Yeah. What four hours of the day was it? Got there about 10 a.m. 10 till 2 over lunch time. Did you go for a lovely lunch afterwards? No, because you can't. Everything's locked. Everything's outside.

So we went back to go a toilet and the three I need to go to a toilet, but because all the one-way systems, they try and force to go to a toilet about a mile away, and then I started walking to the one that was like, I'm going to this fucking toilet. I don't care what happens with COVID. I'm not letting a free-rob piss on me because the area manager from Croydon's decided that we all go this way around a fucking shop to not get COVID. Do you know? Even though we've been asshole to nose, the whole way around the queue. So, and then we had a bottle of water and we all come. Should we do some emails and Instagrams?

Yeah. I've got some stuff here mate. To be honest with you, Rob. I'm so stressed I haven't really looked. Okay, well let me take control of this mate. You've got your C-section, well, Rose's C-section to worry about. Here we go. Yeah, I hope it'd be awful if I had a C-section.

Calorie, underscore, going early on Instagram, didn't she? Early adopter? She got the name she wanted, didn't she? Kaz, nothing gets past Kaz, too busy counting calories to get on Instagram. They're bloody Mark Zuckerberg over here. Okay, I'll... I'll start trying to think of... Everyone Chakra follow, we don't need to repeat the name.

You all remember it. Catchy, get on brand, mate. Here we go. So hi, loving the podcast, just listening to today's and had to message after hearing Josh suggests swapping sides of the bed might be a good thing because your cot doesn't fit on Rose's side of the bed but it's likely she'll be th th doesn't th doesn't th doesn't th isn't th doesn't th Rosie's side of the bed, but it's likely she'll be dealing with a baby more in the night with feeding and stuff. It's absolutely, absolutely won't be a good thing.

I have tried to swap in places with my husband before, and it just did not work. I couldn't sleep. He couldn't sleep. All our normal comfy, sleeping, . they. . last a full night! We had to swap back so don't do it! Wow! Some real strong

words there from Calary, underscore, counting, underscore, CAS, underscore 2021. She's not a fan. I think it's a bad idea to be honest. Yeah, I don't. I, Rose is dead against it. She won't even entertain it. Well I've got this one from Martin. My wife is currently, he really got in quick on Instagram, fucking Martin, act Martin. Jesus, alright Mark? Few minutes didn't get just M. My wife is currently pregnant. We have been together seven years and she has always randomly swapped what side of the bed she sleeps on with no concern! What? She's just whatever side she fancies she goes on.

That is phenomenal. Imagine living with a free spirit like that? God, there must be a nightmare. Yeah, she just decides on the night. It was exciting at first, but a bit of a wind up now. Martin is not happy with her. It's exciting at first. How exciting was it? That honeymoon period of the relationship when you think that it's adorable that she'll sleep. I mean I wonder whether she swaps ends as well. I think that's too personal question. She's seven months pregnant,

Josh, give her a chance. Okay, so, yeah, hi guys. First of your podcast has helped me stay same throughout my maternity leave and has got me through many a night of cheeky one-ear podcast listening, whilst cuddling the wee man to sleep. So thank you. I want want the th. I want th. I want th. I want th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. the thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. theeeeeei. thei. thei. thei. theeeeeee. the. thi. thi. th wee man to sleep so thank you. I want to share my things that wouldn't normally make me cry but did during lockdown. A few days before before the first lockdown last March when everything felt weird and doomsday I saw a cow standing in a field on my way to work and I cried because I thought thank God that we cow has no idea about this shit show that's unfolding right now. Oh wow. The cows have lived through their own things, you know, mad cow disease. Yeah, I mean they've had their own problem.

Exactly, yeah, mad cow disease. They probably looked at you and thought that love. Yeah, remember all those cows that didn't bother them. I also cried listening to the Spice Girls wannabe when they sing the line, friendship never ends. Oh wow. It's safe to say the pandemic has made me an emotional wreck. Wow. It's been a very, I do think, I think this is quite important as well that when everyone's feeling's a the the the they, they, they, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm, thi, I'm, thi, thi, thi, thi, to be to to be thi, thi, to to, to, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, told, told, told, told, told, I'm, I'm, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tooing, too.a, too, too, too, too, too.a, tooing, tooomoomorrow, thi, thi is quite important as well that like when everyone's feeling a bit on edge and a bit stressed like just because stuff's opening now and

essentially oh yeah we're all getting back to normal we have all been through quite an ordeal it was it's I think there won't be slight PTSD for some people more than others but everyone is allowed to feel a bit nervous and awkward about all this stuff opening because we've been through tho a lot that thi. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Oh, th. Oh, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. We're all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all, thi. I thi. I's thi. I'll thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. through quite a lot that we won't really process yet because you don't during it, it's always years later. So if you are not feeling the best you've ever felt just because stuff's reopening, that's fine. You're allowed to still feel a bit fed up even though pub's roburn, maybe a holiday and all that, you know, it's still all quite stressful and scary so don't, you know, harshly and I went for drink, to so so to to drink, to drink, to drink, to drink, to drink, their a to drink, the pub last night and I'm slightly worried about this with work coming back yeah but like I felt like quite anxious and

almost guilty to leave the house in the evening do you know what I mean I felt like a kind of I don't know it did when you saying that has made you go yeah you were meeting another woman though yeah you thought that might be the problem well you know it's a that's me go... You won't meet in another woman though. You thought that might be the problem? Well, you know. It's exciting at first, but now it was exciting. It was just feeling guilty and sad. No, I know what I mean?

And it is quite stressful now as well. Like, you have to book a table. You've got to sit here, you've got to sit there and go out and I think as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as th as th as th. And I think as well though we were out all the time doing our jobs, but I think you won't realize it just at one step, each day it'll get easier and like, I remember because when Lou was shielding she was quite anxious and a bit overwhelmed going back into like a big supermarket, but now she's fine. And it's that kind of thing. I don't mention it last week, but you can't worry about that, to worry about today, and then you'll slowly get better as it as time goes on, but it's fine to fill a bit stressed about it, I think. Totally. And what is amazing is what you suddenly appreciate as well. So we went to Westfield two weeks ago.

Yeah. And I just had the time of my life from. Really? We went to Arquette to buy some children's clothing. Our kete. Oh yeah, that's nice Arque. And they are between seasons. So the children children children children children children children children children children children children children children children children children children children children. the children. the children. the children. the children. the children. the children. the children. the children. the children. the children. the children. the the the the the the the the the their. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. their. their. their. I. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. We. I. I their. I their. I th. I the. I th. I th. I that. I that. I th. I th. nice our cat. It's not nice our care, isn't it? Yeah. And they are between seasons, so the children's clothes are on sale. So I was delighted at that. She hardly worn any of them, but there we go. Went to our cat, went and bought her a book in the bookshop, and we went to some other shop, I can't remember John Lewis. And then we had pasta sitting in the car, in the car park, and genuinely, I felt like I was on holiday, Rob. I know, it doesn't take a lot, does it? It doesn't take a lot, does it? Have you gone out on a big piss up yet? Well, I got quite pissed last,

so last night, Rob, last night, yeah. It rained for the first hour. Yeah, and I'd say the atmosphere was similar to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to the first hour. Yeah. And I'd say the atmosphere was similar to, you know when you're at a festival and it's raining and all you're doing is looking at the sky trying to work out how much longer it's going to rain. Yes. I'm just trying to see it through. But we had pizza and beer. Legend. Yeah, legend. Excuse me. Are you straight. Are you straight? I think there's a couple of straight honkies gone for a bit of dinner and drink. That's pretty this way, Rob.

Tom Allen was not invited. Couple of straighties out on the beer and pizza. So didn't share all your own fault. Three of us, three bloody lads. Not on the Smash Fest, Mority in one hand, tinder another, let's go. I could see the rain splashing up off our pizzas, which is a line one. Sorry, that got me. It's so bleak. Oh, it's so bleak.

When the first hour was hard and then did it get back? So they're closing at 10. Yeah. They called last orders at 10. 10 past 9. 10 past 9. What? 50 minute last orders?

Yep. So they were closing, it wasn't that they were closing at 9.30, no, no. Closing at 10. So I had to do, I have have a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a the the the the the the the the to have a the th. th. to have a the the th. th. to have a th. to have a th. to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the. to, to, to, to, to, to, toe. toe. to no, closing at 10. So I had to do a double parked second, had to do, can we have a round of six beers for the final round? That felt good. I bet that felt good. It did feel good, Rob.

Was you not tempted to go for three down one immediately? then have looking at two and a half points. Fairly. I am drinking fast than I used to. This pandemic, I'm blaming. Yeah, I think so. I think we, you know. And can I just say I'm sure someone said this before. I'm sure this has been said by better comedian than me. But fucking how those heaters outside a pub are not a solution. I I I I I I I I I I I I I thak. I thak. think think tho. tho. th. that that. that. thi that. that. thi th your body being cold and your head being too hot is what you need.

It's like it's like trying to grill a lasagna. It looks like it's doing something that it's doing nothing underneath. Exactly. It's exactly like the trick to outside drinking is Long Johns. Yeah. Long Johns and a warm shoe that's what you want. Because what I end up having, Rob, it's like, I'll go to the toilet, I'll look in the mirror and I'm like, why have I got one red cheek? Not a joke. So how many drinks did you have when you were under the heater? Four.

Four pints, right? I've just got a message the producer who you was out with, is that right? Yeah. It's you being sick in the sink. Yeah, well we did come home and drank in my garden. Oh so you had some more. What did you have in the garden? Red wine. How much? Probably three bottles between three of us. So you've had four pints and a bottle of wine and you're being sick in the sink. Also as well like you look really pathetic the way you're being sick in this thing. Your legs are rigid. Your legs are completely rigid and you're just bending from the waist? Do you know the worst thing about this, Rob? This wasn't a social event. It was a planning meeting for my other podcast.

It was, we were planning what we were going to do for the Euro. So basically I was I think I think that's what you're going to do and it get pissed for the euro also what can you do about the euros it's in the 90s football well exactly Rob I'll be honest with you Rob when everyone said they're gonna stop liking current football judge to the European Super League I thought I'm gonna fucking clean up here. Beautiful kitchen, your house is so amazing. Oh thank you Rob.

How does it so nice? My house always looks like it's just been burgled. I'll be honest with you Rob, out of shock. Do you know what we have done? What's that? When our daughter was at nursery, we got rid of, I'd say 70% of the and it's been a complete game changer. Really? So where are all our toys then? A little place called Oxfone. Also I think as well we are moving away from having toys in the front room and kitchen now to

like if you want to play that toy you can play in your bedroom. Bring it down from your room. No, you don't have to be exiled up there like frozen, but you can bring a toy down but it lives in your bedroom because the front room I spent half an hour tiny at the front when it gets to summer the gardens are fuck it's a book sale toys in the garden can absolutely do one today's in the garden it starts to rain oh my god it's a supermarket sweep trying to save Simba from a downpour to joke no now Rob yes um you know we we we we we we we we we we we we we we will to to the to to the to th th th th th th th th th th to th th th th th th to to th th to the to to to to to to to to to the. the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the the the. the the the. the. the. the. toe. you know what we'll save it for next time? I was going to say, and it's not like we're ever going to need content in the next three months

because I'm going to be honest with you. I think I'm going to have some pretty long grumbles. But at some point, we do need to discuss you telling me how to promote my book, because I am very, very bad at self-promotion. Because you're very good at self-promotion, aren't you? You just have to have no shame. What, Tom Allen's book? Yeah, just have his book. Just have your cover on it.

Just have your cover. Just put your cover. I do you just have to read it. You think they'll have a good time. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that. You've worked hard on something. You think people. You're not taking it to an old people's home and just you know going here they are 50 quid. I think. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I their. I they're they're they're there. I there. I there. I there. I there. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There's there. There. There. There. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There's there. There's no. There's no, there. There's no, there. There's no, there. There's no, there. There's no, there. There's no, there. a book here I think you might like give it a go and you don't even have to buy it just buy it to get the publishers off my back yeah yeah yeah exactly get the they're very laid back in the publishing industry Rob they're very laid back in the publishing industry Rob they're very laid back in the publishing industry it's very chilled isn't it you're like you're like I don't th I I I th I th I don't th I don't th I don't th I don't th I don't th I don't th I don't th I don't th I don't th I don't th I don't th I don't th I don't th th th th thi thi thi thi thi to to to thi. I thi. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the. the the the the the the to to to to to to to think I'm going to make that deadline. They're like, yeah, fine. And you're like, bloody hell, mate, you need to work in TV.

They're fucking edgy as out. Well, I think it's because if you work in TV, last leg, one of the most successful brands on tele of the last sort of 20 years, is getting seven Pee per royalties. out the Bible. What do you do? I do the Bible. Also as well, my kids are obsessed with saying pupoo, wee, bum, bum and bit bits. Yeah, and I don't know what to do. Pupoo is huge in this house. I think it's fine, isn't it? They're just into it. Yeah, but my three-year-old keeps getting her ass out. And shouting bum-bum. When do they stop doing that? Well, I don't do they they they they don't do they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they thed thed thed thed thed thed thed the. the. the. the. the. the. thooom. Yeah, thoom. Yeah, thoom. Yeah, thoom. Yeah, thoom. Yeah, thoom. Yeah, thoom. Yeah, thoom. Yeah, thoom. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th th th th th th th the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah,, the last ten do she was on, I think.

Malia 2014. The other day, we were, so what I do with my daughter during bedtime, one of the many distractions is she'll stand on the radiator and look out of the, it's a first floor window, so she's kind of framed by the window and I'll of the, it's a first floor window, so she's kind of framed by the window and I'll hold her up there, right? The radiator is off obviously to the summer. I'm not like torturing her. But the other day she was stark naked and I was thinking, this must look very bizarre. Yes, there's just a completely naked person just stood absent-mindly trying to spot a bus in the window. Yeah, I think put some knickers on her, mate.

Well, she doesn't give a shit, mate. Even Michael Jackson had his kid dressed when he hang her out the window. I'm not hanging her out the window just to be very quick. Well, it's a bit cold out here, dad. The window is close. . bit breezy. Yeah, bit breezy. Have you got any more emails? Here we go. Hi, Robin Josh, loving the podcast. Listening from New Zealand. I'm 44-year-old mom of four kids age 22, 20, 16 and 14. The stories bring back lots of memories when my kids were small.

I thought I'll tell you a more recent story so you can feel better about your parenting. In 2019, I traveled to the UK to see my family and friends with my ex-a. toe. toe. toe. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. toe. toe. toe. the the the th. toe. toe. to-I to-I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. tea. today. toea. toea. thea. toea. toea. thea. thea. the. the. traveled to the UK to see my family and friends with my ex-husband and two youngest children. Towards the end of the visit we went to see some friends in Wilkeshia, weigh, weigh to see my uncle and Devon. I've known these friends, I love it when people come from like countries that are like, I know New Zealand and I'll just like jump in the car for six hours. But this to their to f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f fc, I their their th, I th, I thu, I thu, I thu, I thu, I thus, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I've thoom-in, I'm like, I'm like, we're, we're to to to to to to to to to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. We th. We th. We thi, we thi, we thi, we thi, we thi, we'll thi, we'll thi, we'll the. We'll the. thean, we'll thean, we'll the the the the the the the thean thean. thean. tomooooooooombs, I'll just go to my local. Anyway, so I'm not going through the Blackwall Tunnel, that'll take me half an hour. This time and I, I don't care how big the gorges in Cheddar. Not driving that far for a fucking cheese. Anyway, so towards the end of the visit, we went to see some friends in Wilkshire before heading to my uncle in Devon........ the the the the th.. the the th. This. the the the th. This. This. th. th. th. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'll is. I'll is. I'll is. I'll is. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'll. t. I'll. t. t. t. I'm. t. t. I'm. t. I'm. I'll. I'll. I'll excited. We have a few drinks and ended up staying up until 2 a.m. The next morning we were due to leave mid-morning. I woke up for even very average.

I hoped a shower might fix it, but I started to fix it. But I started to fix it, but I started to fix it. I verkewe. I've vomited outside of my friend's house. licked it up. Oh my God. My ex decided we should go to Avebury. That's a classic tourist idea, isn't it? You're hung over. Let's go to fucking Avebury. Anyway, after a windy five-kilometer drive, I jumped out of the car and discreetly vomited in the car by covering my face with my hand.

I waited, lying down in the back of the car. Oh my God. Then started the mama three-hour drive to Devon. The long straight roads of the motorway with the window down should have eased my churning stomach. Unfortunately, only another 20 minutes into our drive, I started to feel very unwell again. Oh my God. My husband was driving in the outside laid I had two options. Ten-my to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to the to the to to the the to their their their toe their me me me me toe. to the to the to the the their the their their th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the three three three three three three three the the three three the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I'm thi. I'm thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. throoooooooomea. three time. three time. three three three time. three three three throoooooooooooome. three three lane. I had two options. Tell him I was going to be sick and pull over. I knew this option would make him angry, too discreetly vomit out the window. I chose option two. Oh no! As I vomited out of the window at 70 miles an hour,

my 15-year-old son started screaming, his window was open, and now my watery bared him. Oh my God! Oh my God! Needless to say my husband wasn't happy of option two and neither were my kids. Definitely not my finest parenting moment but sadly probably not my worst. Thank you. Rochelle! Oh my god, imagine that stage when your kids can actively judge you like that. When they learn, just go, mum you've drunk too much, this is pathetic.

Yeah, my daughter, when I, mom, you've drunk too much, this is pathetic. Yeah, my daughter, when I got drunk, we had some friends around maybe a month ago, in the garden, socially distanced, etc., etc. That's what annoy, tell you what noise me, right, before we do this about that thing of like safety, like, I saw, one of my biggest annoyances is someone when they've got a kid that's about thin', their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the a kid that's about two or three that run is running about in a car park and they're not watching them properly when they're getting stuff out the car and the kids running around the car parks I'm like oh my god just get that kid get that kid get all the stuff out get all the stuff out before you get the kid out I saw this kid. I saw this

car park it's literally see? A car park is a terrifying place to have a child. Put a mask on the kid in an outside car park when they're three, right? I'm not anti-mask, but I'd say stopping your kid getting run over to car parks probably higher on the list than a fucking bit of COVID. That's my air. Sorry, Josh, sorry, You're in the garden, social distance. Yeah, so we all got a bit pissed, right? A couple of days later, my daughter, who's three, says, Daddy, you drink too much beer when your friends are here. And I thought, there's no way she's come to that conclusion herself. That's been planted by my wife, hasn't it?

She's had a word. There's no way my daughter's gone. Do you know what? These guys should at least, they should have, they should have a water between each alcoholic drink to pace themselves about it. Get off the Stella dad, have a 4%er. Break it up. Come on now. So I think that was planted by my wife but we'll see. She'll find out. But she's got a plan C section so let let leave it for the moment, bring it up later. Well, we come to the last episode before that Rob. Yes, the end of it. Small business shoutouts? Yes, let's do it. Hi there, Rob and Josh, please let me start. I'm a massive fan of you both and find you absolutely excellent and I'm a strong follower and giggler. Less of the fucking ass licking. We're going to say. to say. to say. to say. the their. their. their. their. their. S. their. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. S. the. the. the. the. the. I. I. I. I. the. the. I. the. the. the. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. ass-licking, we're going to say the shower anyway, don't need to do that. Secondly, I'm currently pregnant with my third baby in your podcast got me through lockdowns

and traveling to work. Thirdly, please can give my business some love and give me a shout out. I run a business called Mummy Massage. I specialize in pregnancy, post, and Swedish massage across, farmbara, as well, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, and ch ch chaslary, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and. I. to. to. to. to. to. I, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm, I'm to. I'm to. I'm currently, currently, currently, currently, I'm currently, I'm currently, currently, I'm currently, currently, currently, I'm currently, I'm currently, currently, I'm currently, currently, I'm further afield as well, but South East and Ken, I also have a downloadable baby massage course online for caregivives to access and purchase. This is Alex, mummy massage. Mummummy massage. Mummum massage, mummy massage, or Facebook, it's mummy massage, and Instagram it's mummy massage. So if you are, yeah, if you want to massage, go and speak to mommy massage. And that's Alex. It'll be funny if that was, I specialize in pregnant women's massages. My name's Ian from Telford, 53. But that's Alex. Hey, Rob and Josh. Firstly, we're all super mega fans of the podcast. So a huge thank you.

Secondly, we've launched a business. It's called, That Works for Me. We launched it just over a year ago, as six weeks before COVID ruined our lives. Something like 75% of women drop or change their careers after having children because businesses aren't able to flex around family life. And we think that's shit. Particularly as all these women have spent all their pre-children lives establishing brilliant careers. Our website connects all these amazing parents and carers with growing businesses that need help, but not on a full-time basis. The business gets someone brilliant and the children get to see their parents. A win, win for everyone. Our website is that works for me.co. UK. It takes a minute to sign up then they can start looking for flexible work or

if you run a business of your own and you need some expert help then think of us first. We're super affordable and our talented members are bloody brilliant from Jess, Nick, Jem, Charlotte, Roxy and the two Emily's. That is a great idea Rob. Yes it is very difficult. For instance, TV is a very difficult industry for women who've just had children to go back into because it's so, the hours are so long and it's kind of not very flexible. So I think that is a great idea. That works for me.co. to the UK. Give it a check it out and mummy massage. That's our small business shoutouts. Josh, good luck and let's speak on Friday. Thank you Rob. And that'll our small business shout-outs. Josh, good luck and let's speak on Friday.

And that'll be pre-recorded as well, won't it? We'll pre-recorded that. And then we'll show the first baby update next Tuesday. And in real life, Rob, we're going for my final drink tomorrow night. Yes, we're having a business meetup, aren't we, Josh. Yes, but it is outside. S is outside. Social distance etc. Yell that. Because it's a business meetup we could do it inside although we wouldn't be able to consume any alcohol. Is that the rule? I don't know. Okay. But yeah business but I don't know what we can talk about.

Merch maybe some merch? Maybe some merch. Oh would you buy some merch? What merch? the merch? Oh would you buy some merch? What merch? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? th. Oh? th. Oh? th. Oh? th. Oh? th. Oh? th. Oh? th. Oh? th. Oh? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. the thi. thi. the thi. the the thi. the the. the the the thi. thi. the th. th. th. th. th.? That'd be good. What merch would you want? I think we need to get sort of baby grows with something on. Yeah. Any quotes from the show that you would buy on a mug? I think... Keep it simple, babe. All right, see you next week. See you later. Friday, Friday. Oh my word.