Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S02 EP34: The new baby is here!!

Episode Date: May 18, 2021

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL'S02 EP34: The new baby is here!! More misadventures in parenting and beyond...Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks - Rob and Josh xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, I'm Josh Riddickham. And I'm Robb. Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell. The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. So in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation. And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. Hello and welcome to lockdown parents in hell with Rob Beckett

Josh Whiddickham. James You say it? Acastle? Eddham. James. You say it. Acaster? Ed. Ed. Ed. Ed. Gamble? Unbelievable.

Unbelievable. Unenjoyed. Unableable. Who are those stiffnecks? Oh, what should we eat for dinner? Fuck off. Who cares? Get yourself fed and shut up.

Not having it. Thanks for helping her, keeping us sane during the past year. Here is our son Max. He'll be two next month in his attempt at the intro. We think he might be trolling you. He? He was, I tell you who it was, it was Harriet Batten from Worthing that was trolling us. Harriet Batten from Worthing, that was disgusting. Little Max didn't know what was going on. He was like a member of the Jackson th Jackson th Jackson th Jackson th Jackson th Jackson th Jackson th Jackson th Jackson th Jackson th Jackson th Jackson that th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was going on. He was like one of the, he was like a member of the Jackson 5. He was just forced to perform. Didn't want to do it. Josh, congratulations. How's your week been Rob? Well, come on, it's not about me is it? Actually, yeah, I've got some things about the school run. I want to chat about. No, you've had a baby. Josh. Yes, yes. Yes. Rob. I say. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the to. to. to. the the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. tho. the the the the thooooooo. the the th. thi didn't didn't didn't didn't. tho. Didn't didn't didn't. Didn't. th. the tho. to chat about it. No, you've had a baby, Josh. Congratulations. Yes, yes, yes. Rob. I say you, Rose has done most of the work. Nine months ago you put a shift in, but since

yeah, it's been Rose. Congratulations to you two. How's it going? Well, should I take you through more week? Is it easier that way? So Rob? Yes, everything is good. Everything is good. the baby. Rob. Yes, everything. Everything. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Rob. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. th. to. th. th. th. Ro. Ro. th. th. th. th. the th. Ro. Roe. Roe. Roe. Roe. Roe. Roe. Roe. Roe. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. th. Ro. th. Ro. Ro. th. Roe. th. Roe. th. Roe. Roe. Roe. Roe. Roe. Roe. Roe. Roe. Roe. Roe. th. Roe. Roe. th. th. Tuesday evening, Tuesday evening, it's a boy which we knew in advance. Wait. Okay, why, what are you going to do? Just a bit of fun. Just a bit of fun. We can do jokes when it's nice sensitive things about the birth of a child. He's got to get used to these jokes. Exactly. I'm a two times times that now now. That now. That now. That now. That now. That th. That th. That's th. That's th. I the joke. I the joke. I'm th. I'm their times. I'm a times. I'm a times. times. times. times that now. That's my kind of humor these days. Imagine your dad being an observational comedian. The things he's going to be told, have you ever noticed that? Shut up, Dad. But he's got to get used to it, isn't he? Exactly, exactly.

Exactly, exactly. So wait, 711. 711. 711. that's not small not big that's pretty pretty pretty decent decent wedge standard baby then I forgot they lose weight for the first few days oh do they? Yeah they do because the milk still coming in so they lose weight for the first few days. Mine were really little mine mine mine were 511 11 11 11 11 they were born and like 6 5. Wow. But they were really skinny but 711 good Yeah, well, should I take you through the, should I take you through the week, Rob?

Yes, let's go through the week. Very nervous waiting on the Tuesday, wasn't it? Yeah, so I went a bit mad and did lots of house tasks. Okay. Because I did, because we were, we need to be in the hospital for 4 p.m. And it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, to, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, to, to, to, to, the, to, th. to, to, th. to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, th. to, to, th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. to, to, th. th. th. Exactly. So I ended up doing loads of like stuff that we'd meant to do. And as your daughter gone to your her nans at this point? No, no, so my mother-in-law was in our house. But you know, everyone was hanging out and we didn't really need three of us manmarking the daughter.

So I did stuff like... When you're writing against Barcelona in the Champions League Final. She's not Namar. She's not Namar, Rob. Also just make space anyway. But, um, so I got rid of some books. Okay. I just I just needed stuff to do. Do you know what I mean? Do you mean get rid of them? Throw them away, charity shop bag? Well we've, unlike your wife's presenter, our book shelves are at full capacity. Oh, are they? All right. At Stiffnick Villas.

At number one Stiffnack Square? One one, one stiffenck. Send them around here, mate. It's just full of Lego and DVDs that I haven't got anything to play on. So I did that, thinks, th some then then then then then them them them them them throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throwing throw throwing thea' them them thoughen, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the. the. the. the. the-aa. the-n' the-n't throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throwed. Through thrown. Through thea. Threea. Through theaugh. Through thea. I've. thea. theaughea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the got anything to play on. So I did that, put some books on the wall. Just did lots of menial house tasks to kill the time, do you know what I mean? Yes, yes. And other stuff like go and buy snacks. You know, for the hospital. Yeah, stuff like that. Okay. So then 4 p.m. go to the hospital. Now ivory tower confession Rob. Yeah. And I think I think. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thession, Rob. Oh yeah. And I think I should just be honest about this. Okay. Due to the fact I wanted to stay in.

We did stay in the hospital. Stay in the hospital. Yeah. We did pay to go private, Rob. Yeah. But does that make me a bad person? I think that's okay, isn for someone in the NHS. And also Rob, I didn't want to be sent home at 6 p.m. like my friend was because I thought I can, if I want to stay, I could stay. So I did it, Rob. Yeah, because once you've had the baby is a little bit, we had about 20 people

and you just want to get out of there straight away. But yeah, no, there's something. I don't, there's something. I don't. I don't. There. There. There. There's something. There. There. There. There. There's something. There. There. There. There. There's something. There. There. that's something. that's something. that's something. that's something. th. th. th. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I can. I don't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I. I. I can. I. I can. I. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I. I th. th. I th. I th. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can. I can't. you for that job. Good, good, because I tell you the reason I'm telling this. People will, just so you know. Yeah, of course. But they won't, and also for me it's great because it just shows how much of a, you know, normal guy I am. Yeah, of course, of course. Or just that you had your children before you'd really reach the levels that you've a business or your apprentice or you know you're working your way up at a company just at a junior level proposed because there's less expectation on the ring. It's a little life lesson for you.

Get the engagement in the bag. Whatever your job is just get the engagement in the bag, early doors, get the marriage done, quick as, and in that way, when you do progress and start earning a bit more, you won't have to waste so much money, obviously it's not waste, is it? It's not a waste, is it? Those rings hold their value and as long as you get it at the end of the marriage, it's yours to sell on. Yeah, fingers cross, she'll die first, get your money back on the ring. So the that's that's that's that's that's that's fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers, that, that, that, that, th. th. tho, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, obviously, it, it, it, obviously, it, it, it, obviously. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, it's, obviously, it's, it's, obviously, it's, obviously, it's, it's, obviously, it's, obviously, it's, obviously, it's. Yeah, but I wouldn't say it's something that I wanted to bandy around But I've the reason I've decided to tell it in the in the podcast is that we had a bit of an error on the way. Oh, no, what happened? So we use the you know the black cab app free now. Oh, yeah, and so quite often we end up with the same cab driver. to??? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the the the th. th. that. that. that. that. that. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. the the th. th. Oh yeah. And so quite often we end up with the same cab

driver, a very nice man who lives on an adjacent road to us. Okay. Who always is in his house and then picks up the journey, right? Yeah. So the day before my wife had gone somewhere and got in the cab. He'd asked her about it and he said, what hospital are you having in? And she'd been too embarrassed to say. So she'd named a adjacent hospital to the the the the the the the the the the the the toe adjacent to the to the the the the tooad. the the road. tooad. the the road. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. to to to to to tooad the road road road. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. to toa. I. toa. toa. toa. toaa. toa. toa. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the road. the road. the road. the road. the road. the road. the road. the road. the road. the the road. the the the the ta. I. I. I. I's ta. I'd. I'd ta. I'd toda.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. I'd ta. I'd ttoo embarrassed to say so she'd named a adjacent hospital to the one we were going to. Because she was a bit she was a bit embarrassed that you were going private so she gave a fake hospital to stop the embarrassment with a cab driver that's which I'm not going to lie to you I've done myself I've done myself fair enough yes it's best to be honest yeah on the day on the day. oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh to the day. the day. the day. the day. I the same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same the same to to the same same to to to to to to to the same I I to to to to that's the same I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I to I to I that's I that's I that's I that's that's that's that's that's that's the same I I I I I the same I the same the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th the the the the the same. I'm not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm to to be honest, okay. It's best to be honest. On the day, obviously.

Same cab driver? Yeah. Starts taking you to the fake cause bill? Well, I'll tell you now, so you put your destination in. Now I thought there's a 10% chance we're going to get the same cab driver. So I decided to put a nearby Prattamondré as our destination in case he picked us up Okay, so he just saw he was taking you and your heavily pregnant wife with an overnight bag For a quick sandwich. Well, no, what we did is we got in and we were like if you're all right to just drop us at the practice We're gonna get some tasks we're gonna get some stuff for the for the bird. It's weird though that you're happy to to tell us just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just to to to to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the for the birth. It's weird though that you're happy to tell all the listeners you're private face to face it's more intense isn't it? Well I think

to be honest with you I think the story is embarrassing enough to counteract my willing list to tell the listeners. Also I can't emphasize enough Rob. Yeah I got to stay over. That's a nice experience because at some to especially you can you know get a bit side tracks can't you be if there's space for you to stay then that's nice isn't it for you and Rose yeah baby so you stayed as how long was you in there for two nights like a mini break I'm not gonna lie to you Rob it was the best holiday I've had in fucking years and I'd say the best thing about it because they sleep a lot they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th th th th they th they th they th th they th th they th th they th they they they th they they they they the the they they the they tho the their they they their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho to tho to to to tho to thoooo to tho thoo their their their their tho tho their tho they the best thing about it. Because they sleep a lot when they're first thing, don't they?

They sleep a lot, but we did have some bad periods in there, but I would say the best moment, which at the time felt like a negative, but actually the no visitors due to COVID rule is a gift from God. Because you don't have to tell them no. You don't have to tell them no. You don't have to tell them no. And no one can come and see you. No one can come near you for 48 hours, right? So it's just you, Rosie, and it was quite nice.

It was very chill drop, apart from, so we get there, you've got two hours before the Cesarian, I'm very tired, Rob. You are, you are, it's a little, I can actually see the cogs in your brain work. Yeah. So the difference between an emergency cesarean and a planned cesarean is very different Rob. A bit more bit calmer? One of the most chilled out places I've ever been in my fucking life. Really was it sort of like one them weird fields at Glastonbury? It was unbelievable. So they said do you want, have you got a playlist? We didn't have a playlist but they had some chilled out beats don't worry about that.

No but was you tempted just to put on like really hardcore drill or drum and bass just to put off the circle? Well I wonder what they've had. This was a problem with the playlist is even if I pick stuff I liked, I'd be too worried about other people not, you know like how much pressure there is if you're like, thrown.'ve got to choose everything, everyone likes. Yeah, and also there's pressure on, you may put a bit of a wild card song on there, but if that's the song that's playing as the baby's removed,

yes, then that point where the guy doing the operation, during the operation, he was chatting to us. Oh no, like a cabin. Ask you what Jimmy Cars like. He probably knows, mate. He's probably delivered a couple of his Androids. They just get sent by Amazon I think. Let's prime another one.

You must have been because basically as well because I don't know if you've spoken about it on here but first for your first child was a very stressful traumatic and emergency c-section kind of thing. Well we were induced. Yeah. Rose was induced I should say. And you as well. Take one for the two. Yeah, but I didn't die late at, mate. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th at that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi, thi, thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. to th. to th. to to to to to to to th, to to th, to th, th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thr. thr. thr. throoooooooooooooooom. the. the. the. thi. thi. as well, take one for the two. And me, yeah, but I didn't die at all mate. And I made her do it three or four times. I was saying this is this stuff, it's not working,

mate. Get it, get it up there, let's see what I can produce. And then, yeah, we didn't, it wasn't happening so we had to have an emergency C-section at half four in the morning. God, yeah. Which we discussed, so you must be so anxious about it but actually it was probably quite a relief that it was quite chilled. It was very bizarre. It was surreal. I like, obviously you go in and you, I'm sure you had this. There's this unspoken worry of what could go wrong, obviously. Yes, yes. But they're so obvious obviously, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their. they're their they're they're their th. they're th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. so, so, so so so so so, so, so, so, so so, so so, so so, so so, so so, so so, so so, so so, so so, so so, so so, so so, so so, so so, so so, so so, so th. So, so th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So worry of what could go wrong, obviously. Yes, yes. But they're so obviously so confident because they do it every day millions of times. Not millions. No, the money you'd earn. Imagine you could do a million Cesarians a day. Even a quid a Cesarian and you're doing well.

So we did that. Yeah. I was like, yeah, that's good. How was Rose? Was Rose all okay? Did you see what was happening or was you just behind a sheet? So behind a sheet, Rob, I've never said you this. Do you want to see the photos they got me of the first Cesarian we had? Oh yes, send those to me.

Can you, so did you see anything or would you just sit so there's a sheet like a kind of you know like a barrier yeah I saw and then they bring it down when the baby's being pulled out yeah so did you see like inside Rose's stomach yeah no I saw some the baby coming out of some kind of sack yeah that's what I saw that's what I saw. Okay. Which I know has a technical term, but you are aware how tired I am. I couldn't even think of the word Cesarian.

It was a brown sack used for spuds normally. Some reason it was in there. God knows why. It said swag on it. Um, but... So... You don't know what's going. How much sleep have you had?

How much sleep have I had? Last night, about four hours broken. Oh God, four hours broken, okay. Which I was quite pleased with, but now. Yeah, that's good, but it's still terrible, isn't it? So the first one, Rob, the first cesarean, one of the midwives said, do you want me, can I take the photo? Do you want me to take some photos on you? Oh gosh, in an emergency one. Yeah, I know. If it's an emergency, I don't think someone should do photography as well as be a nurse. We don't get a fireman going, do you want a couple of pictures for this for insurance? I don't think that's a nice analogy, Rob. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. No, I think. I that it it it it it it it it it it was. that it was. that it was. that it was. that it was. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. together. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I. I.think it was very funny. Let me find this picture because it really is worth it, but we can't put this on the Instagram.

Oh, don't do it then because people just get jealous that I've seen it and they haven't. I wouldn't get jealous of seeing this. I had a couple look back at some photos of when our kids are born. And at the time, Lou was like, oh my God, look so dreadful in these photos. Like, hey don't you look lovely and be roved looked back. I was like, oh my God, Lou, you look like you're about to fucking die. She looks like. So Rose isn't in this, Rob. Okay. I'm going to send you this.

And you feel, I want you just to describe, I want to describe it, and I'm, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to me, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, to me, to me, to me, to me, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too address three or four times. This would be a disastrous send to the wrong number. Well, you can send it directly to the daily mail. They still... Sorry. I've just seen it. Oh my God. It's so weird because it's a brilliant photo. Because it's like, actually the baby's sat up on a chair inside Rose and stuff. That is so weird. It's so intense. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's the. It's the th. It's the th. It's th. It's the the th. It's the th. It's th. It's thi. It's the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the their. the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to the thi. It's. It's the thi. It's like, actually, it's actually the baby sat up on a chair inside Rose and stuff. That is so weird, Josh. It's so intense, isn't it? Oh my god, it's so weird. I don't like it. It looks like alien.

It does, doesn't it, it does, that. It's just a baby's to' the to' the t I've sent it to the mail the line and they just said who's Josh Whitaker? I'm going to delete it Rob. You've seen it. I've seen it now. But it's gone. It's so it's gone. There you can't have that on my phone. That's mental. Yeah. So there we go. So then first night. So then first night was good. So you stayed in first night and then your daughters at the nans or at her home with your mother-in-law. Second day, great, and then some pretty intense feeding. What for you or her? So, feeding from 3 p.m. till midnight. Oh, breastfeeding.

It's from 3 p.m. till midnight on the boob. Is that normal? Because we didn't do loads of breastfeeding, they struggled to latch on mine, and we, and the, and the, and the, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we their, and we did, and we did, their, their, their, th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th, thi, thi, thi, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thia. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi.m. till midnight on the boob. Is that normal? Because we got, we didn't do loads of breastfeeding. They struggled to latch on mine and we did bottles after a few months. Yeah, well, there's a lot of the word tongue tied being thrown around. Oh, okay. And in the end we had to kind of, we gave him a bottle of formula which finally got him to sleep, which I'd th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin thin, thin, thin, the the, thin, the, and the, and we did, and we did, and we did, and we did, and thi thi thi thi to to to to to to to to to tho, and we did, and we did, and we did, and we did, and th and we th and we th and th and th and th and th and th and th and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, the, the, the, the, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, youngest, she, I don't think she was tongue-tied, but I definitely think she could, she just couldn't physically latch on and Lou really took the heart and she got really down about it. Yeah. Because she sort of, you sort of, when it's your first, I think she wasn't, she was a failure because she couldn't, she sort of, thin't, she, th.......... th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I, I, I, I thi, I thi, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't thin't know't know. I don't know. Don't know. thin. thin. thin. thin, I don't know't know, I don't know, I don't know, I do it. And you know, obviously it is good for kids and its benefits. But if you physically can't and the kid physically can't latch on, then what can you do? And I think you're better off sometimes, just let it in the baby have a bottle if you can't latch on and then just

my skin got beat yourself up. That's what the midwife was like, I could have some sleep now or I could, you know, it's a bit like not to use a football analogy, but let's use a football analogy. Yeah, come on, please. You know when you're like, when you've got to ask some vanger and you're like, just fucking sure up your defense mate. You're not proving anything to 't care if you're playing the beautiful game. We're losing two the loins of stone. Let's get the bottle out and fucking live our life. Come on, let's bring the morale back in this house.

We've got the oldest kids crying, my wife's getting depressed, I'm not sleeping, get a bottle down that fucking kid's throat, let's do this people. It's been like bodybuilders, let's do some steroids. Let's stop fucking about with weights here. Let's get this shit moving. Come on. I don't care if I'm going to have a tiny dick, mate. I'm going to get ripped.

Oh, Rob, talking of that, yeah. You've got two girls. Yep. Babies balls are weird. Really? They're big. In what way? They're big? In comparison. Like a hamster? Like a hamster? They've always got massive nuts hamsters. Oh, it gives you so much, it's much more difficult to clean the shit off, Rob. Oh, is it? Of course. I'm also, you're very worried that you're going to give him a hit in the balls by mistake. Do you know what I mean?

I think you, yeah, because I sort of think you've got to be, yeah, you don't want to be, if this is a stubborn stain, you don't want to rub too hard. Of course, you know. You know what? If you know, if there's one for our lockdown parenting hell. No context Instagram feet. Well has he had a bony yet? No, he hasn't Rob. No, early days. Yeah. Well not to my knowledge, most of the time I'm not looking at yeah. Yeah, you've not got a ringed doorbell on it. No, exactly. But yeah, because that what I've just girls and I've never seen a baby's dick. No.

So it's harder to clean, is it? It's just, there's more, I'd say... Now I'm going to go into extreme detail here, but I think it's a parent's podcast. Obviously, four skins, do you have to clean behind a baby's foreskin? And at what age does that, or do thage, or thage, or thage, or thage, thage, thage, thage, thage, thage, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, their, their, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. It's thoooooooooooooooooooo. So, thi. So, it what the rules are? And to be honest with you, they did, they didn't mention it at the hospital and it wasn't one of my first questions. Yeah, obviously I'm not saying it's when you, no, no, no, but I've always saw. But as a man, now I'm worried. Now I'm thinking, I don't know, I don't know Robbock. What do you do of a baby's bell end? What do you leave it? Do you clean it? Because as a grown up, I'm still hooded up to the max, no snippy-snip for old Bobby Bex,

and obviously you do have to clean it in the shower, don't you? You know, it's part and parcel of your hygiene regime. And I don't really know what, like sometimes the girls might need a bit of cream on their bits, if they're a bit dry or sore with a nappy, that is very much Lou territory. She deals with the vaginas in my house. I don't get involved in that because I sort of feel like I'm coming from a point of view of I don't understand that world. Yeah, let Lou do it, do you know what I mean? So I imagine that knob on bollocksthe obviously I'm on nappy duty because Rose is basically bedbound at the moment.

Yes of course because it's a proper surgery isn't it? So she can't really move. No so we came home. Luckily different taxi. Yes. Got home. I'll be honest with you. The thing I was most worried about, as you know, was my daughter reaction. Yes. And so she, so two nights she'd been away. Two nights we'd been away. And she was really positive. I genuinely, I would say it went 1,000 times better than I thought it was going to. But that's, that classic anxiety Josh. It is never the reality is never as bad. No when what I should have been worried about was the lack of sleep Rob but I hadn't even given that a fucking thought. That you should have been anxious about that. That was anxious about

that. And you wasn't. I wasn't. So was she excited to see him and very gentle and friendly. She's absolutely loved. This is the. This the reality. This the reality. This the reality. This the reality. This the the reality. This the the the reality. This is the the reality. This is the reality. This is the reality. This is the reality. This is the reality. This is the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the reality. the. the. the reality. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the reality and friendly? So far, she's absolutely loved, this is Friday morning, we got home yesterday afternoon and she was very positive. She didn't go, we didn't want her to go to nurse, well we offered her the option of going to nursery today. And so four to three or four days old your baby is at the moment. Yeah, doing this back at work, back at work, back at the grind grind, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. And, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, thi, thi, to be, to be, tho, tho, tho, th. And, th. And, th. And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, th... And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, the. And, the. And, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, toe. And, so, toe. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, the grindstone, three days in Whittaker. Exactly. Well, I thought, you know, you've got to do this fresh, haven't you? Yeah, exactly. You can't have six months paternity and tap out. I'll be sat you on the own.

You'd be fucking livid. And then I come back and go, yeah, it was all fine. I'm really back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber one for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think University is for.

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Did you get her a present? Yeah, got presents both ways. So she got him a present and he got her a present. Oh, what did he get? He got her, some kind of, uh, mice, dollhouse thing that she wanted. Okay Okay fair enough. You've got to remember Rob. I don't remember the word cesarean very much in the moment so. The old mice doll thing. The old dull mice thing. Well anyway so now you find me this morning. Yes. So that's where that's really where we've got to. Yeah. I'd say he woke

every hour and a half two hours last night. Okay, and obviously your daughter's still in nursery. So that's giving you a bit of a response. No. Oh, why not? Because we only got back yesterday afternoon and we didn't want to just dispatch her straight to nursery. Well, let's be honest. We did want to dispatch her straight to nursery, Rob.

Dispatch. Dispatch. Yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, tho, tho, that's, th. thi, that's, that's, that's, that's, th. th. that's, that's, th. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to thi. to to thi. tho. to tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. One night in a private hospital after you're dispatching your kids. Yeah, well, yeah, I think that's a good idea because it's all exciting and, you know, so and then like, obviously Rose is in bed and stuff, so she'll be worrying about a mom. So, do you know, do you know what happened yesterday evening, Rob? He slept in the evening, and that never happened once with my daughter, with my daughter? Really? You might have a sleep up. So he he that. He that. He that. He that. He that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's a that's a that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's a that's a that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that never happened once with my first daughter with my daughter. Really? You might have a sleep up. So he slept from 8 p.m. to the 11 p.m. we used to be up all evening for the first three or four months with my daughter she wouldn't

sleep until kind of... That's quite nice because then if your daughter's asleep and then you get a bit of respite in the evening until you have to do night feed and stuff. Crossing my fingers Rob because every time it goes wrong I think back to that first three months of the last one. Don't do that. I know forget that. That's been and gone. Been gone Josh just now. You're in the moment and it's good.

That's good. Just stick with time, yeah? Don't worry. Don't think about what happens with, you know, your daughter gets a bit ill and he's up in the night screaming then and she ends up waking up the baby and then she he's up again and he wants feeding and you know, Rose can't get out of bed and you're doing both and you've got a call day the next day. You've got another writing deadline and that all builds up. Don think about now. Why are you in such a good mood, Rob? I'm fucking flying, mate. I didn't want to come in too heavy with the excitement, but basically I've had two coffees and I've had a little chocolate bath in the morning. Was it from the snack trolley? No, it wasn't the snack trolley. Lou went in on the snack trolly. Yeah, they're the snack troll. Loo. Loo. Lou. Lou. Lou. Lou. Lou. Lou. Lou. Loo. Loo. Loo. Loo. Loo. Loo. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. L. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I. I. I. I. I to. I to. I to. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to go back at some of the commenters. But no, I've had a couple of coffees. Lego sent me a new Lego that's not even out yet. It's an exclusive.

It's the Friends Apartments from the TV show. What? Both their apartments. Yeah, and it's got the canoe in it. It's got to cune in it. It's got to come back of all that. Is it all done that, Rob? Well, yeah, I think, well, no, they've got to come back with like,

no, little notes and stuff, but it's all fully done and stuff, essentially. So I'm excited about that. And I'm just loving life. Do you want to give, do you want an example, So I got my third draft changes back from the proofreader and they were like, can we have these in a week? So that was last week. You I reckon would have gone, no, we can't. Or you'd have gone, I'm sure it's fine. The way I look at it is I've written this book, right? And you can re-write a book forever and it will never get released.

Because what happens is, over time you think different things. So if you spend too long on a book, by the time you finish writing it, you've changed your opinion, Rob, it's just about making it funnier. Oh, no, mine's fucking quality. This is the thing, Rob. This is what I want. This is what I want, is you work on instinct, whereas I... You overthink it. My book's funny.

My book is really funny, but they might have a little structural thing come back and I'll go, yeah, right, I'll tweak that, but he's got enough jokes in it. And if not, I'll write a couple of more funny bits in. I'll never run out of funny Josh. Anyway, I sent me book off, I'm flying out. So that's what I was going to say. So, yeah. So, while my baby was asleep, I was doing a re-read of my bloody book, Rob. That's no good for anyone, mate. You're not going to be able to make it better that time. I'll be honest with you. Glad I did it. Made some lovely changes.

I did some great jokes. Beckett have very different attitudes and this is why he is full of the joys of spring and I'm worrying about a fucking semicolon. Well you're further ahead in your book process to me of those little annoying tweaks. We've both written the books but the little tweaks but there's nothing I can do now until they come back to me anyway which would be a week or two weeks. There is. I'll tell you what there is. What can I do now? Worry, that's what I do. Just worry about the things they might say. Worry about the hypothetical changes they might say. Do you want to know, do you want to know,

do you want to know, Rob? Go on, what you're worried about? Do you want to know what it's like being me? Yeah, I do. The first draft I sent off, right? Yeah. And then it was over Christmas, so it was like a month or so to get it back, right? And then before he got it back, I thought I'll just reread it and kind of note up any changes that I would like to make. Before he comes back, he comes back. And he's like, this is great. thrown. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th. th th th th th. th. th th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. theeee thi great, really love it, really happy with this.

I'd make a few changes, these few things, but apart from that, genuinely, you know, great. And I go, I don't think you're being harsh enough. I think you've missed some really bad things I've done. I need to change this. I need to change this, this is what it's like Rob. So what did he say to that? He said, yeah you can change that if you want to change that because I trust you because you've written it and I really like it's really good. Yeah. And I was like, yeah, I can't rob because there's deadlines but I had the time in my bag Rob. So he's come back and he's basically gone. He's the words were we could put this out now and I said we fucking couldn't mate. This is 60% as good as I wanted to be.

Yeah but I've got a fucking problem and my problem is I've got a stiff neck. You've got you're being too harsh on yourself. You're always... Do you think I mean too harsh on myself? Do you think I was re-reading a chapter about fucking U-Bet at 3 a.m. Two days into my baby's childhood and you think I'm being too harsh on myself? Right, Josh, if you was writing a serious book, right, that had to be spot-on about economics or race or politics, but no one's going to go.

I don't think Josh has really put his heart and soul into this chapter about you bet. No what? They're bloody not going to say that, Rob. Rob, it's exhausting being me. It's exhausting. And then you're having a great time. That was it. Your life is so much fun.

You're out in Soho, abusing a posh woman for having to go at you. Meanwhile, I'm at home double checking the spelling for Andy Peters, whether it's an eye or a why. It's an eye. I know. It was a bad example. I know that one of the tongue of my head. Josh that's not your job. That's what the publisher's job is. It was a bad example. I panicked. He panicked. Well, my book is about not being too harsh on yourself because I used to be like you Josh and everything used to be like that and it was exhausting and I've changed the way I'm operating and I'm enjoying it more and I still think the quality is high enough. I think I think it will be Rob and I think I'll read it and I'll love it and I'll hate you.

Not only is his book good he enjoyed writing it and that's not how it should be. Do you know what the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm having. I'm having. I'm having. I'm having. I'm having. I'm having. I'm having. I'm having th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm too too too too thi thi. I'm thi thi thi thi thi thi. I'm thi. I'm worst thing is Rob? I've genuinely, I love the process of writing this. That's the dweb in me. I'm like, I'm having the time of my life. So as much as I'm going on worrying about it, it's because like, I'm like, oh my god, this is, I'll be honest with you, Rob, I used to enjoy work, I thrown work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work, and work, and work, and work, and work, and work, and work, and work, and work, and work, and work, and work, and work, and work, and work, and work, and work, and stuff like, I enjoy this stuff. You enjoy homework? You like homework? I enjoy homework and I'm giving myself more and more. Right, but do you think though, you'll only pack yourself in the back and say that was a job done if at the end of it you feel absolutely spent and exhausted to the point where you've absolutely rinsed every part of you to produce it? No, I think I'm genuinely, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm genuinely, I'm genuinely, I'm genuinely, I'm genuinely, I'm genuinely, I'm genuinely, I'm genuinely, I'm genuinely, I'm genuinely, I'm that's, I'm this, but and then I think in two years

I hate it. Yeah, but that's good, that shows growth. That shows growth. If you write a book and then in 20 years time or five years time I go, yeah, I believe everything I wrote there, then you know, it's wrong. Let's move on, let's move on. This is really fired you up. This is a weird weird we the weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird to to to the weird th. this is a weird this is a weird way way way way way way way. this is a weird this is weird this is this this that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the th. th. thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's plug a book, one that you're making yourself depressed writing it and I don't care. I'm not, I'm not, I'm absolutely loving burning myself out. Genuinely, I would say this, apart from like podcast, this is the most fun I've ever had a work. No, I, I, it surprised me how much fun I enjoyed writing it to be fair. I thought I was going to sort of find it quite difficult. I actually really liked it.

But what I would say is maybe, would it help your mental health if, if once the book is published and people have bought it, all our lovely listeners, that they would, like screenshot bits where they predict that you were tired and it doesn't really make sense, I think you might have been on a night feed here. This bits of, you've got, it was actually Matthew Kelly that presented you bet. Dale went and did supermarket suite. You got that wrong. It might have been when you're tired. Would that help or would that not help, Josh, do you reckon? I'll be honest with you, Rob.

When we got the, uh, when we got the email a the email, when when, when, when, when, when, when, when, the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the girl that went to my school who corrected me on a story that is actually in my book, I was fuming. You're a details man. I'm a details man. And she was wrong, but I've had to change it now because her version's funnier. Because she was right? Well, no, because her version's funnier. So you were wrong. I was like, you know, it's like the miracle on 34th Street, you know, why I tell the true.. Why the their their their their version.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thirty. thirty. thirty. thirty. thirty. thirty. thirty, thirty is th. th. thirty thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. theea. thea. theea. thea. I the. I know, why tell the truth and draw a tear if you can tell a lie and draw a smile. Exactly, Rob, exactly. On that point, you have been wrong about something else. I've been messaged on Instagram, Josh. Hi, Rob and Josh, I've listened to every single one. However, I was upset to hear the anecdote about the baby at the gig. Misremembered by Josh. Another classic sign, thapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapap-I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, to to to thi, thi, thi, to to to to to to to to, to, to to, to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, Rob, that, Rob, that, Rob, th, th, Rob, th, Rob, th, th, Rob, th, th, th, th, Rob, th, Rob, thi, thi, Rob, Rob, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, Rob, thi, thi, Rob, that, that, that, to to stuff wrong. I did that bit there.

I was at a gig and it was, I was at the gig and it was Fairfield Hall in Croydon. It wasn't. That was, do you know what? That was a different tour when someone else brought a baby. It's happened twice. It's happened twice. It wasn't my baby I hastened to add, how could he forget Corriden so easily quite upset by this? I can tell you why I remember that gig, the baby and also it was one of those gigs, it was in December and I was performing on the backdrop to Jack and the Beanstalk starring Stephen Mulhern. Stephen weren't there though, was he? He wasn't still on stage. So I was just doing stand-up in front of in front of a beanstalk and Obviously you come on and you explain it, but you do think for the first hour when people are filing into the room They must be going what the fucking hell is this? Yeah, well, that's a big because you have to when you do a tour show in December you have to accept to keep the stage with all the

Pantermine stuff on because youthat can't be taken out. No, exactly. So, but the worst thing you can do is which I've done once before is you go, oh, quality, look at this, you can go up here and I can be the princess in the castle. And you spend about 20 minutes climbing up there and go in there. And then you realize there Lowry in a set that was a kitchen with a fully working tap which was very exciting. That is fun because it's a moving part, it's a moving part. It's a moving part. So what did you speak at what was the story with that baby then? A Croydon. This was a long time, that was a long time ago, that was like two thousand 15 so I don't remember it brilli........ It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, t. It's, t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t There was a baby, yeah, there was another book. Wow, so it's twice, it's almost like, it's like back to the future where the parenting podcast

becomes so successful that people are going back in time and taking babies to your gig, like Martin McFlyerrye, meeting his dad at the prom. I got a couple more Instagram messages. I thought we could do, Josh, before we wrap up today. Awful baby names. Okay, this is a good one. This is one is from White Nest or White's Nest. I don't know what that is.

Sounds a bit like some sort of far right, radical movement, White's Nest. But I don't think it is. It might just be someone called White's Nest. Luthero spends a week's th, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, their, their, their, their, their, awful, awful, awful, awful, awful, awful, awful, awful, awful, awful, awful, awful, awful, awful, awful, awful, awful, awful, th, th, th, th, th, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their family that's called White's Nest. Either way, it's got his fun. Louis Thoreau spends a week with White's Nest. White's Nest, yeah. It's in Alabama at their headquarters. And I know, I don't know what it is, but they're called White's Nest on Inst. Awful baby names.

Hi, funny boys of my Fav podcast. you not mine. I must tell you of the names of my mom's friend who named her twin girls in the early 80s. She wanted to invent new names. So, sadly my mom was lost touch, so I'd love to know what they call themselves now because they were named and I believe christened Morpia, Morpia, Morpia, and Cloridia. Cloridia. Cloridia, oh that is close to a bad name. It's a H away from an itchy crotch, isn't it?

It is. It is. It is. C-L-A-R-Y-D-I-A, so Morpia, they grew up in Bromley. So they, oh, I may know them. I'm thia, I thia, I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they thia. they thia. they thia. thia. thi. tho, tho, tho, thi. tho, tho, tho, tho, th. C-a, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th-a, th-a, th-a, th-a, thi. That, thi. That, thi. That is, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, that is, that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is the-a, the, th, oh, you're not thin. If anyone listening from Bromley knows a Morpia and Claridia, in the early 80s they were born, so they're probably about 40s now. In their 40s, any Morpia or Clareau, let us know, they must have changed a name, you can't.

Yeah, that, you know, like a company that's invented a COVID vaccine. We've got more Peer and Cloridia arriving from South Asia this week, so we should be able to surge vaccine. This is a good one about outdated references. This reminded me of something that happened to a friend of mine Margoes, she and her and a boyfriend were moving This reminded me of something that happened to a friend of my Nihuahua, this was from Mrs. Welshie. Her and her boyfriend were moving to Australia and invited friends of family to a party

as a leaving do in a nice posh hotel. About two hours into the party it turns into a surprise wedding. The bride and the groom and her mum knew, but that was it. It was a very exciting, magnificent time. And shortly after ceremony, I went thied thied thed thed thed thed thed thed thed thed thed thed thed thed thed thed thed thed thed thed thed the the the the the the the the the the the the the theating my surprise and to have a little catch-up about the surprise wedding. She was very distracted in fact a bit frantic. She said I'm so sorry I can't chat I'm trying to sort out these bloody cakes. Turns out as part of the Australian theme had ordered lots of little cupcakes all decorated with Australian things, koalas, kangaroos, carnivanogue and disgraced TV personality

Rolf Harris. The wedding was literally the day after Rolf Harris's crimes were reported in a phrase and they hadn't been able to stop the cake mixer from including them! Oh no! Poor mum was running around shouting, no one wants to eat a sex offender. Wow, what a wedding. I'll be honest with you, Rob. If I was at that wedding, I'd have 100% wanted the role for one, wouldn't you? Oh, yeah.

Of course. It's a collector's item. He's a collector's item. He's going to be obsolete on the day of release. Also, Josh, you're getting a bit of trolling on a Wikipedia. Someone's changed your middle name. Too tired for this. Your birth name. Because let's see if this is right.

Born in Hammersmith, is that correct? Yeah. It went to Devon. Eighth of April. Yeah, that's the wrong birthday for you mine second of January the worst day in the worst day for the world years active 2008 to present is that correct is that when you start I'm fair on the first 25 years of my life but there we go you know it was a it was an inact it's ruled out my work at Waterstones birth name Josh salty Michael Whittakable unbishop I'm believable to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their is their is. their. their. their. their is. their is. their is. their is. their is. their is. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their their their their their their their the worst. their the worst. the worst. th. the worst. the worst. th. the worst. the worst is. the On Wikipedia, so it must be true.

Unbelievable. Do you know, these people, Rob, I can't respond to them, I'm too tired. I've just, I've really hit a wall in the last two minutes. I think you peaked at the anger about your book notes. Yeah. It's not even my book. It's my own.

I just just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I tire myself out Rob. Well you've got a long old day ahead of you now, haven't you? So what work have you got on? Is it just podcast you're doing? Are you still doing tele? I'm not doing, no, Rob, it's not going to go that badly. No, you've got to go out, I'm on last leg. Oh, no, I'm not, that's nice. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. to. to. to. to-a. to-a. to-a. to-a. to-a. thoo. tha. tha. tha. tha in the flesh. We'll have a pint. We'll have a little pint. You'll have to get home, wouldn't you? I'll be out on the smash when I, my toddlers.

I've got actual children now. Actual children. Um, no, so I'm doing this and I'm just finishing off that reread through of my book, which I should say is really good, please buy it because if you don't, come on guys. But where I look at it is do you really need to reread it because most people read it once and if they haven't noticed it the first time. Rob, yeah. All I can say, is I do for my own peace of mind. I get Lou, rereads mine for me. Yeah, well there you that. She's very harsh. Is she? Is she? Lue. Lue is never. Lue. Lue. Lue. Lue. Lue. Lue. Lue. Lue. Lue. Lue. Lue. Lue. Lue. Lue. Lue. Lue. Lue. Lue. Lue. Lue. Lue. Lue. Lue. Lue. Lue. Lue. L. L. L. L. the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to re re re re re- to re re- to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. She's that actually tells me if I'm being a prick. And she's very harsh. You can't say that to sound like a prick.

Yeah. Lou has never, was talking about this to my mate the other day, whatever I do, the only bit, Lou is never hype me, she's not very good like hype woman. So very much doesn't want me the last time, Rose, Rose listens to this. I can't remember the last time she watched anything I've done. Well, Lou, she didn't come and see me do a live show for three years, Lou. Yeah. But why would you? They get us at home. She gets us at home unfiltered, unedited. Not the shackles of the man, aka Michael, who edits him. Exactly, she doesn't want to see the mask, does she? But yes, in conclusion, do buy it because I have, you know,

put a lot of effort in. And I'm very proud of, please. Don't, when you see him in person, tell him things you think are a little bit rushed. Rob, next week, I'll tell you about how many pieces of paper I've agreed to sign. For the book? Yeah, and they arrived on the day of the birth as I was leaving the house and I was like, oh Jesus, effing. How many?

How many? 3,000? Oh, I'm doing 2,000. Yeah, but they know they can push me around, Rob. Bear in mind, I'm a man that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that goes that goes that goes that goes that goes that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thoes thoes. thoes. thi. thi. thi. thoes. tho th. th. th. th. th. they's they's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. thea. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. the. th. th. th.'m a man that goes to them and goes you're not being harsh enough. Well I think you should do 5,000 then if you really want to put effort into this book. I'm going to tell you next week about the instructions that are enclosed because someone did it all wrong. Anyway, well we'll talk about that. Should we do the small business? Yeah, it's a small business. I've got a taxi driver. I've th. I've th. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. tha. tha. tha. tha. th. tha. th. tha. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'm. I'm. th. th. I'm. th. th. th. I'm. I'm. I'm. th. th. I'm. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th got a taxi driver who lives on the road next to me. Right, I'm so tired, Rob.

I know, okay, well let's speed this up. Right, small business shout out, here we go. My husband is a huge fan of your podcast. My husband is a huge fan of your podcast. Oh, so you're just using us, are you're, I'll give you a shout anyway. Hi, my husband is a huge family podcast. My mom and I started at the house butlers on Instagram. We go into people's houses and clear out kitchens, bedrooms, wardrobes and make them all beautiful and aesthetically pleasing. Yes, please. Then if they have any items they no longer want, we take them and my nand does a boot sale and all proceeds go to a street dog. People love the street. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their house. their house. their house. their house. the house. the house. their house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the house. the the the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. street dog charity. Come on. People love those street dogs. People love a street dogs. People love a street dog. Anyway, so anythings they don't want, goes to a boot sale. That is our audience. It goes to a boot sale and the Nan don't

donate all proceeds to a street dog charity called at S.O.I. Dog Foundation. Again I think that's on Instagram from Alex wife of your number one fan also called Rob. P.S. where a tickets book for your tour in Brentwood Rob gutted it got canceled. Yeah, did get canceled. And P. P. P. P. S. Hi Josh. No mention of your book or tour there. Oh come on. Oh, that. That's the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. th. th. th. th. th. there. Oh come on. That's the house butlers on Instagram. Do you know what we had someone, Rose had someone come around and do a similar thing with all of her clothes and it is the best that she absolutely loved it. What is so good. They say you're saying they actually make you they go do you ever and then they sell the other stuff. Yeah and it just means that you've got so much rubbish kicking around

that you never know what you've got. And actually having less stuff, Rob, makes you use it more. Yes, exactly. And I think sometimes you need that third party to go, you're never gonna wear this. Or they go, you look shit in that, throw it away. I'd quite like to do that business, but be really brutal. It's called like House Tidy Roast, and I go in and go, right, shower's your wardrobe, you fucking peasant. Come here, oh, when did you fit into that, you fat, fuck?

Get it in a bin, you fucking loser. Oh, what's it's running trainers? Oh yeah, good luck with that, you idiot. Fuck off. Maybe I could manage how I can't, but I think I'd like to do that as a business. I think it'd be great, but until that comes along, it's at the house butlers. Yeah, let the house butlers do it before I get into that world. Because there's a restaurant that does that where they're really rude in America. Is that? It's called like the worst customer service restaurant and they go, what do you want your pieces?

Really? At your weight? You're going to meet all that's cream, all right, good luck and stuff like that. That sounds fun, isn't it? Yeah, I'd enjoy that. People just leave, you sit down and then go, I've read your book, it's shit, ah! And then you run away. I'd go, a sales of sale. I'll have that. Okay, right. Here we go. I love what you're doing. I'm very much enjoying hearing about everyone's small businesses. I just had to shout out to my mom and sister who have started a prop hire company for birthdays, weddings and baby shouts, etc. They started this during COVID. As you can manage, not many events have happened as of yet. So any help you can give them would be much appreciated. They are based in Yoviville Somerset. Oh! And the website is www. W.W.W.W.W.Prop and Gander.co. UK. Instagram, Prop and Gander events on a side note. I very much enjoyed Josh's shout out to Traygo Mills on Mock the Week.

Big up the Southwest. There we go. This is Rose. Thank you. A primary school teacher with no children of her own but 30 surrogates. There are small business shout-outs this week. It's a way of seeing your pupils. It's been a pleasure, Rob. It's been, I'm sorry if I've been a bit tired.

Do you know what, Josh, I think you're doing excellently, stop me to harden yourself. The book's really good. I've read an advanced copy of it. It's very funny. that bootleg one. No, but I've read of it and you're a very talented writer and it's going to be an excellent book. I just need to be more Rob Beckett. You said, well, not too much, you know.

I'd say more Rob Beckett 2.0. The first incarnation of Rob Beckett that you met on the open mic circuit for very long, was he? I'm getting paid, mother-fied. I'm a street-I thoom. thoom. tho' to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thananananan't than't the the than't the th. thathea' th. I'm a th. I'm a thi. I'm a thi. I'm an a thi. I'm a th. I'm an th. I'm an thi. I'm an thi. I'm an th. I'm an th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm an th. I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm a thi. I'm a thi. I'm a thi. I'm a ta'eanananananananananananananananananananananananananananananite thi. I's thi. I's thi. I'm a thi. I's to be like him. He wasn't on the open mic circuit for very long, was he? I'm getting paid, mother-foo-feeke. I'm a street dog. I'll see you on Friday. Have we got on Friday? Ian Sterling. Yes, he's got a newborn baby.

He's just a child as well, isn't he? Yeah. Yeah, he's married to him on Friday. See you then. Bye.