Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S02 EP35: Iain Stirling

Episode Date: May 20, 2021

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' -S02 EP35: Iain Stirling Joining us in the studio this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) during the lockdown and beyond is the brilliant comedian, writer, presenter and Love Island voice-over star - Iain Stirling. Iain has a new-born baby with his wife and Love Island presenter Laura Whitmore. Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, I'm Josh Riddickham. And I'm Robb. Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell. The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. So in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation. And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. Hello and you are listening to lockdown parenting hell with Rob Beckett

Rob Beckett and Josh Widdickham. Josh Widditum. Oh, love that. Much better than that Snide Max that was on earlier in the week. That is my new son. He's doing very well Rob. He's very advanced for his age actually. It's very advanced. Hello, loving the podcast, it's been getting me through many of 4.30pm Lazy Parents. That is Face Time with Grandparents and Roll Toys in the general direction of my child while I try and finish a warm cup of tea. So I thought I'd send in my Sprog's attempt to your names. This is EV. Great great name, age three from Cardiff. That is Sarah Raton.

Evie Ratum. It is a nice name, isn't it? It is a nice name. How's it going Josh in the house of a newborn? It's fine. It's fine, it's fine the, uh, we've got a full house at the moment Rob. Really? Pat Sharp and the twins? Yeah, exactly. That's a fun house, isn't it? Yeah, but I enjoyed it. It's my wheelhouse. It's your well, isn't it? Yeah. There's nothing more I like than doing a very,

sort of quite a shit joke to someone, but it's very much their arsenal jokes on here, I always know this is going to be Rob's seen. I'm more than happy to bring up an analogy to a, you know, Tetta. Yeah, exactly. Oh, don't actually. It's quite depressive. Yeah. Now, we've got a full house. We've got, we've got the community midwife is here at the moment. Oh, is she? That we aren't. Terrible parents. And th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It's, thi. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It's. It. It's. It. It's. It's. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's like. It's like, th. It's like, the the tote. It's the tote. It's tote. It's the tote. It's the the the parents terrible parents and Also a builder who's putting up shelves in my daughter's room because Obviously, I've got a new son So he is sleeping on the shelf and he's sleeping on the shelf and he's sleeping on the floor forever? Space is at a premium in zone two We use zone three? What zone you?

Two. Two. Two. Yeah. Spensive on the street, cheap on the tube. Well, do you know what, mate? I'll be honest with you, Rob. We'll be honest with you, Rob.

We'll be honest with you, Rob. to be honest with you, Rob. to bethe tube and then into town and the last time I did that My life was very different. I miss it Miss people. You miss people your house is full you got the builder. What's your builder's name? Adrian Adrian he's Romanian his son is seven. Yeah made it as playing for Crystal Palace under seven Oh, oh? I knew that they could play I said what was it like he, the standard is unbelievable. Really?

Yeah, and he was like, I was like, oh, and so he was like, my son did play out fun, but he lacks pace. He's seven. All seven-year-old. They're all as fast as you do same bolt at seven. Yeah. Now, you do notice it, like, my youngest is like, thi- eldest isn't slow, but she's quite a normal pace, but youngest is like, she's like a bit like, you know the little blonde kid in Incredibles? It's like mental.

And it's so weird how different like the kids can be where my eldest, right? If I take to school on the scooter, she goes, hold my hand and she stands on the scooter and I drag her along. Yeah. Like I'm an ox or a horse cart, right? Yeah. And then the other one, she's three, comes out and she's about 50 meters ahead of me in the street and I'm like, slow down, stop, stop, she says hold my hand, and then what she does is she holds my hand, but also a scooter and pushes off and drags me along at pace because I'm going too slow. It's so weird that two kids can be so different like that. People say this so much so obviously it's difficult for me to tell four days in Rob. But I'm fascinated because you just presume when you have your first kid, oh well that's what a kid that I create will be like. Do you know what I mean? That is those bits of my personality.

But you realize when you've got two, some are more of you and then some are ruined by your partner's genes. And you know, that is the, that is when you are breeding is something you need to take into consideration. Yeah, it is. It is wrong. Like, obviously, you know, with me and Lou, hopefully they get Loo's brains, but let's face facts, fingers cross athletically wise, they get some of me, and that's not a great

statement, but what? You are? I hate to do this. Go on. I think you're one of the sharpest people I know. You might not be what they would term, you know, academic? Book smart? Book smart. Yeah, but I would say, do you know what, Rob? I'm tired, but I'll say this. Come on, baby. I was once drunk and I said to my friend Will Briggs, who know? Yes, I know. I said I think there's only two geniuses in my comedy generation.

And you were one of them, Rob, and the other was Joe Rob. You really missed an opportunity there to say, Ramesh Ranganathen, and Paul Chowdry. I'm tired. Oh, that's very kind of you, Josh. Yeah, you're very intelligent, Rob. You're very intelligent. Yes, I don't think, but I always struggled with academia for a number of reasons and studying and reading. I think I was dyslexic or am, I've not had a proper test. So hopefully though, they won't get the dyslexia part of me.

Now it's gone weirdly deep, you've called me a genius and I'm talking about dyslexia, but I know what you mean. No, but I know what you mean. It is weird with what you think your children will inherit off you. Yes, and seeing what part, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's weird, and it's, and it's weird, and it's weird, and it's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th's weird because you sort of think they'll either be me or your partner, but actually they're odd mix where they can be both at the same time, where like I'm quite loud so my kids can also be very loud, but also they can be very quiet and just sit like Lewwood and study or play with something. But I could never imagine you could be both. No, no, exactly. It is weird, isn't it? And then you go, what am I am the the the the loud thing, Rob. My new baby's very loud. Oh my god, you've got a working-class London a kid? Oh boy, he was born in London. The sound of bobells. His cry is so loud that like the

midwives at the hospital were like openly laughing about how loud he was. Oh no! Yeah. If a midwife notices anything, you know it's mental. Yeah. What you want when your child is born is to a midwife to not even batter an eyelid at anything that it does. But instead, they're like, whoa, listen to him! That happened to us where they went, oh God, Deb, she's very alert, and I was like, oh,

God, alert's not good, is it? What you want is them to go, bloody hell, he's laid back. You want a kid that's basically high on weed all the time, is it? They said he was really loud. He's got some fucking pipes on him, mate. He's like Adele. You won't hear the the the the the the the the the the the th. You won't the th. You won't th. You won't th. You won't to. But without the tune. What is it a deal? You won't hear from him for three years, but then you won't fucking shut up for a year. And then it's off again. So he is like a dell. We'll call him a dell.

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I'm going so I can get Uber1 for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cashback on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber won for students, a membership to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just 499 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. Okay, right, let's get back a track. Oh, I need to talk about I've done bad parenting this week. Oh yes, please. Okay, so a couple of things My kids are obsessed with Mama Mea. I think I've spoken about this They basically watch it three times a week

like non-stop and it's only recently and I've been doing this about a year that I've realized at one point in the film Merrill Streep calls someone a slut so they have heard the word slut on my calculations three times a week for a year which is about like 150 times. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So I told you you're smart. We're a hundred fifty six times wouldn't it? Yeah, but you know. They'd have a couple of that. They don't watch it. They don't watch it on a Sunday sometimes. Yeah. So they've heard the word slug. I've never heard them say it, but it's weird. It just sort of gets past five, but slat is bad. Do you think they don't realize it's rude? So what you need to do is not flag it?

Yeah. So I've just ignored the slut. Yeah. Because they, and they just sing the songs really, it's normal the songs. But they were singing super truepip. true. true. true. true. true. the true. the true. their th. th. th. th. th. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they don't they don't. they don't. they don't. they don't. they don't. they don't. Do they don't. Do they don't. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do they don't they don't they don't they they they they they they they they they they they they. they. they they. they. they. they. they they. they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're top of their voice in the car the other day, like properly loud and then we said, can you not sing so loud? And then the five-year-old went, my music teacher says I have to sing as loud as I can so everyone can hear. And I just don't know if that's good teaching. I think at some point that you've got to teach children a PA system. Because Adele isn't the, you know, doing stadiums. She's not the loudest. She's not the loudest, she's just the best at singing. Yeah, she's not the best to sing. Yeah, she's not like, have you heard Adele? Oh my God, it was so loud. I could barely hear anything. Yeah, I just, do you know what? I love going to see a band and just seeing how loud they can be. It's not. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's not. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's why she wore the mask because she wanted her own career after. Oh the other thing is as well Josh I nearly

I nearly think I think I nearly blew up the garden because I've got a gas barbecue right and it was running out of gas, right? And it was running out of gas, it was said low on the side of it. So I did a thing my dad always used to to do that I tu-I the gas. I the gas. I the gas. the gas. to to do it to do it to do it the gas. to do it to do it the gas. I to do it th. I to do it to do. I th. I th. I to to th. I to th. I th. I to to to th. I th. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thin. I thin. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I think the. I the. I the. I thin. I the. I the. I thin. I of it so that you know normally it sits on its base and then the tubes at the top so I turned it upside down so I thought all that way there's like you're allowed to do that? Well I don't know well I don't think so because I did do that and it was working the flames went up but they went outside but when frosted. It had all frost and cold on it like it's been in a freezer and I panicked and turned everything off but I don't know what that means. Oh my word. Does that what does that mean? Do I have to just... It means stop it but now I don't know if I'm allowed to turn a barbecue back on so if anyone's listening and I understand what's happening do let me know. Do let that do let that Rob no. He looked like Elsa the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the that that that that the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to tou to tou. tou. tou. tou. too too too tou. too to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. tube was frozen and I was like, fuck! What am I done?

And then I was so scared. So I turned, I flipped it back over, turned it off the gas tank thing and then turned the barbecue off and then nothing exploded, but I was rid. And it was so cold, mate. Rob, I don't know why it was gas. Have you just invented something new? so cold could power something so hot. Yeah I don't understand how that's happened. It feels like an Elon Musk experiment. I think it's how you mine Bitcoin. I didn't know they mind what the fuck is going on? I don't understand it. And I'm sick teenage boys telling me their multi-millionaires on Tickto and

tell them me to invest and follow their portfolio. Can I say something about having a baby, Rob? Yeah, go on, mate. You're here. If you're not going to do it, here, where are you going to do it? I have no ability as a winder. A wind, oh, a wind, you can't win. I can't win for love nor money. And I don't believe anyone can. I just believe it's, I just don't know how to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do to do to do how to do to do how to do to do how to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it's to do it's to do it Rob and I had this last time and now it's back again and I don't know what I'm doing and I've got I just I don't believe can you do it? I think

with wind I think with winding is you need to it's like each baby's difference you need to find your technique so I think maybe let's put a call out for some winding techniques some winding techniques and I tell you which you which one doesn't work and I th th th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to their their their their their their their to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. I their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm they. I'm told. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm told. I'm told. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm to they. I'm iques and I tell you which one doesn't work, lie them on the back, pedal their legs and then lift up their ass, which I found myself doing the other day, someone had told me. Doesn't work. Has no stroke in work? So have you not needed to yet? The baby's too young? I haven't needed to yet. Okay, well keep us posted on the no stroke. Yeah. Yeah. I've got some Instagram. If If to the to the to the the to the the to the the the the the the the the the the the thoing the thoing the the thoing thoing thoing the thoing the thoing thoing the the other thoomom. Do the other thoomoomomomom. the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other th. th. tho thoing tho tho tho tho thoes thoooo-s doing thooo-s thooo-s thooooo-d Rob and Josh and sexy voice mystery man Michael. I love the Sean can't wait for Tuesdays and Fridays. I have a parenting hack recommendation I discovered after struggling to get my two kids to eat anything they're remotely healthy or different for entire year my youngest refused to eat

anything other than lemon curd sandwiches. Oh my god is he an evacue what is that? Good night Mr Mr Tom sandwich. Where do you go? Where do you end up on lemon curd sandwiches? Oh God, I don't know, I think, it's some sort of country sign thing, isn't it? Where are they from? It just doesn't say. Anyway, and my eldest used to treat anything to resemble vegetables as like kryptonite, but not any longer, here is my life-changing tip. I now now take no take take take thake thake thake thinke thinke thoom thoom thionge, thiole, their thiole, thi, their their thi, thi, thi, their their their, their their their their their their, I their their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I th. th. th. thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thin, I thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi. thi. thi. I thtake packet of stickers with me to the supermarket. Whenever I see something healthy or varied I want to purchase, I quickly distract them and stick a sticker of their favorite cartoon or show onto the product. Oh, that is clever. I then trick them into

thinking they discovered the item for themselves. And I put up a bit of resistance when they suggest it and they get like a treat and they get their own way. Tonight I to th. Tonight th. Tonight th. Tonight th. Tonight their th. Tonight. Tonight. Tonight. Tonight. Tonight. Tonight. Tonight. Tonight. Tonight. Tonight. And their their their their their th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, their their their their their. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. treat and they get their own way. Tonight we are having Moana broccoli and poor patrol pie and for breakfast we had octanauts porridge it's an absolute game change and this is a great tip cat. Thank you very much. Yeah that is really good that's really strong and oh another and I've got another one here just a quick message to say I love the podcast you have changed my life been listening since day one and you've helped me through the bad and the awful times of lockdown, but even more so now. As last week you really changed my life, we have a little boy called Ewan, age four and his behavior had gotten worse and worse and worse he's thrown, their behavior had gotten worse and wo'er. the tables, and we literally couldn't stop him. Even the head teacher said, oh, that's one to watch, and my heart sank, as this was my old primary school and I thought of bringing up a brat destroyed me.

Well, I thought of you guys and finally purchased some pompoms and a jar. It's a game changer. Oh, there we go. He's loving it. We don't have a toddler who runs around and hires whilst we try and get him dressed or take him food shopping. He says please and thank you. He tries heart at nursery and he's a pleasure to be with. The pom-pom job has given me new hope that you can be a lovely kind and calm child. He stays in his own bed at night. He no longer cries when going out food shopping or anywhere. Let's just hope this lasts any tips if the tip tip tip tips tip tips tip tip tip to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to too. to to to to to tooom. too. too. too. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tod. I I. toda. todd. try. try. try. try. the try. try. the try. the the the thea. I. I too. I's. I's. I this lasts any tips if the kid gets bored. What I would say is Josh, you have to use it in fits and bursts. You know, kids get pom-pom-jar fatigue. It's like lockdowns.

You don't want to have to use a lockdown, but you know it's effective. But keep him, yeah, I just think, yeah, keep it a bit separate. So stop it for a bit if he's not, you know, listening to it and then start it up again, especially if there's something he wants in particular and then you can use it as a goal, can't you? Yes. We're not on pom pom-p jars at the moment. I find compom jars are more needed when there's no structure in the day. So like in the summer holidays or lockdown or half-term, half-term's not too-baugh, a week. Yeah, when they're they're they're they're not I think, yeah, that's probably what it is, isn't it? He's four, and he's only one of him, and he's at home, he locked out, and you're gonna go mental, won't you?

It's mad, isn't it, when you realize the things that, when there's a lack of structure to the kids, they like kids like rules. And they like to do stuff. So secret stiffness. The secret stiffenx. Give me a loose one, don't they? But you know, if they're not getting their nap on time, they're fuming. Exactly. Oh wow, we're back into the napping these days in my life. But um, they're like stuff like snacks. snacks, my daughter if we go out will never think about a snack because she's engaged in whatever

we're doing. Yeah. But if we're at home, she'll always be thinking about snacks because it's just something to do, do you know what I mean? Yeah, exactly because they get bored and stuff like that. But yeah, pom pom jar it up in the summer holidays I think. Oh, the summer holidays. Oh, my god. Is your daughter off for the whole summer holidays? No, but this will be the last one ever, because this is, she's still at nursery next year. She's just, she's just the oldest year more or less, she's October. So she's got one more year at nursery, so no summer holidays this year. Oh yes, oh yes, oh yeah, because she's the starts not this September, next September. Next September. Yes, so we start at the same time.

Exciting Josh. Right. Guests this week is Mr Ian Sterling, comedian, voiceover guy, Twitch Mega Star, and married to Laura Whitmore, got a new baby, a couple of months old, and good chat this, wouldn't it? Yeah, it was brilliant. Ian is such a nice man. And let's be honest Rob. He didn't sound as fatigued as we thought he was going to but then he always sounds fatigued doesn't? Yeah he does he sort of a bit you know it does sound like he's just got in from a night out so that you know is how people sound when they have children yeah exactly it makes no difference to his Scottish strawl enjoy it enn' enjoy it in in in St in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still. he he he he he he he he he he he he he he's is in in. he. I. I. Enjoy. Enjoy. Enjoy. Enjoy. Enjoying. En. Enjoy. En. Enjoying. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. the. the. the. the. the. he. he. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. En. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. S. S. S. S. the. S. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. for coming on the podcast. New Father, we hear that you listen to the Tom Parry one before coming on.

I said, I immediately text them afterwards, like the second it finished. I said, I know you'll be asleep when you get this because it's two in the afternoon. Yeah, so how old are your baby? A month? Basically, we're right on the month mark. Yeah. Oh bloody ill. I know. So soon. And I was talking to when you were talking to Tom and Robert, your self Robin Josh was sort of saying, oh we don't really remember that period. I really just wanted something to sort of, as a memento and I'm terrible at writing and keeping a journal and I'm not good at taking photos or anything but I suppose I'm all all right at like chatting so I thought this would be a nice way to like,

do you know what I mean? Just keep it forever. Okay, well I'm gonna say it now, happy 18th birthday to Ian's baby. Happy birthday, happy birthday, you've already been drinking for 11 years Haven't found that the last month you sound pretty fresh to be honest I feel like I don't have you had this the first couple of weeks Me and Laura were like because we sort of teed herself up for this is gonna be absolutely mad and obviously it's absolutely mad and sof so if anyone that doesn't know we should explain that their today's the tee their tel their the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. they. they. their their. their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their. their. the the themore, the TV presenter, Love Island and Celeb Juice and stuff. So yeah, it's us too, those people that you've just described one of them and I'm the other one. And the first two weeks was like, do you know what, this isn't as bad as we've thought, I'm like, when you hear someone else's child cry, it's horrific and the thought of it. And then when when it's your own it's sort of all right and sometimes when she gets like really sad or what like like it like cries a lot there's something quite sort of you've I don't know if you just go mad but it's like quite Is this your daughter or Laura both both both? You just sort of find it quite endearing and then you just sort of find it quite their so great you don't mind so it's but then I feel like I'm now now now now now now th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th they th th th th they th they th th they're they're just th they're just they're they're just they're th th th thi thi th th th th th th th th th they they they they they they they they they th th the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th they they they they they they they they they they they they they're just they're just they're they're they're just they're just thi they're just thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to thi to thi to thi thi thir thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi then you just you just think they're so great you don't mind so it's but then I feel like I'm now getting to the stage where I'm

like oh we're trying to go back to work slowly little bits and whatnot and I'm starting to realize oh yeah this is it this is forever now yeah yeah I remember I remember that feeling of going I've signed up to something here yeah I remember getting back from work one day about 6 p.m. sitting on the sofa and thinking, that's not my day. That's it. Like, that's not done. I'm just beginning.

This podcast, this bit, this bit of my day right now is the break. So what's your schedule at the moment how you split in the shifts with Laura? It's working out quite well at the minute so at the minute we're doing the old breast feed in. Yeah, so we, we's a bold statement. The good old royal we, the good old royal we, the good old, the royal we, um, everyone's, every father's favorite we the Royal We. Do you, do you still like wake up and sort of sit near the breastfeeding encounter to look like you're helping? And reality, you're doing nothing, because I sort of did that for a bit at the start, and then eventually you just go to sleep because you're not helping?

The mornings are now very much, I wake up at 10, have your fed her yet yep twice alright okay I apologize. So it's a quite good schedule so Laura pumps in the morning at night which gives me enough milk to do the sort of nighttime feed so we'll feed through to about midnight sleep time then baby wakes up sort of three half free I do that feed. Yeah Laura can stay in bed and then baby to stay in bed and then the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I their I their their their their their their their their their their their the their their their their their the their their their their their their their their their their their their their then baby wakes up sort of three half three, I do that feed, yeah, Laura can stay in bed and then baby wakes up about half six seven. Laura does that feed I stay in bed. So we're still getting sort of... That's a nice sister. Yeah, do you know what's mental is that that is actually pretty good, but it still sounds horrific, said out loud, doesn't it? Yeah Yeah if you're listening without without children you're going what is wrong with

these things you know that sounds like a nice system. Do you know how mad I've gone all day coming up to this podcast right I was genuinely thinking Josh and Robbock going to be so impressed by how amazing mine and Laura sleep pans are and then because it's locked down and we've got a newborn baby I've told you and and you've that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they's they're. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. told you and and you've gone yeah but that's still really bad and I've just realized oh yeah that is still horrific what's that? Yeah even at the best you've nailed it but it's still a horrific thing to go through. Yeah so that's what we're doing at the minute so I still you know we try we try we optomistically to watch an episode of line of duty last night last night's last night's last night's last night's last night's it's not until you're so tired you realize how many characters are in line of duty. Anagrams and people's names you're like I have honestly no fucking clue who's shot her who is related to who and you're too and you're too both too polite to say I'm exhausted let's's go to bed, because you're trying to create like a couple's moment.

But in reality, you're just trying to stay awake. Well, this is just like, this is just like watching it. Oh my, it's great. This is exactly like how we used to watch the recap three times, that's all the important bits, and we just take that in, it'll be fine. The TV we ended up watching at that point was just anything that didn't involve any sort of mental engagement at all. Do you know what I mean? So we, that line of duty would be completely out out of the question. It was the line the line line line line line line line line line line line line line line line line line line line line line line line line line line line line line line line line line line line line. the line line. the line. the line. the line. the line. the line. the line. the line. the line. the line. the line. the line. the line. the line. the line. the line. the line. the line. the line. the line. the line. the line. the line. the line. the line. the line. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. te. t. t. t. the. the of the question. Oh no, yeah. It was the apprentice, it was Master Chef, it was all that kind of stuff. Can I give you a suggestion? Yeah. Bargain Brits Abroad, Channel 5.

I watched Bargain Brits abroad once and it was a guy that had gone over there to be an artist because like quote unquote his art wasn't appreciated in the UK. Yes I'm remembering him. Right. them. them. them. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. thi. Yeah. thi. Yeah. thi. thi. Yeah. Yeah. thi. thin. Yeah. thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to. Yeah. to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. Yeah. Yeah. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. Yeah. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. Yeah. Yeah. Right, and then do you remember it was him just walking about a sort of a city centre pointing at different restaurants going, they don't do chips, they don't do chips. I quite like watching that show because it saves me having to do who do you think you are? I get to see all my relations. What's the sort of plan at the moment because of lockdown and stuff and you both work loads, but you're both two of the busiest people in tele so what's your sort of plan going forward, just sort of working it out week by week with the babies? It's sort of a 50-50 split of the parenting, is that the plan or have you not worked it out yet? I think the plan will be to sort of

like 50-50 and just sort of streamline what it is to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to th i i i i i i i i i i i i. It is i. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the to be...think the plan will be to sort of like 50-50 and just sort of streamline what it is we do and whatnot. Are you heading to the love island, Ian? Well exactly, yeah, that's my next big thing. So you're going to take the baby to the island of love? Well this is the thing, I don't know from the island of love to the island of love. What are the 10 months? Trying to remember to remember? Trying to remember? Trying to remember? Trying to remember? Trying to remember? Trying to remember? to remember? to remember? to remember? to remember? to remember? to remember? to remember? to remember? to remember? to remember? to remember? to remember? to remember? to remember? to remember? to remember? to remember? the the to remember? to remember? to remember? to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their? their. their? their. their. their. their. their? their. their. their? their. their? their? their? to their. their. their the. the the the the the the to te. to to to to to to the to the the their their's names in the voiceover booth. What is going on? Craig's coupled up with, what's her name again? With the baby crying in the background. You can't make a thing of it though on the voice. So it's the plan, because obviously I imagine Laura's be hosting it,

so you're all going to go to the artwork, like, where you're filming it together? Well, this is a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, is tha thi thi, is thi, is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, threate, thin, thin, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that that? Well, this is a thing about COVID as well though, isn't it? Like, we don't actually know where we'll be for it. You might just do it remotely. It's a lovely mixture of COVID and Brexit means that going abroad has become all the more, you've got a lot of forms to fill in and a load of jabs to get. Who would have thought? Who would have th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho to that? tho- to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th th the the the. the. the, the, the, the, the. the. the. the. the. thooooooooooooooooooo. to to to to to to to thought? It reminds me the Brexit vote happened during series 2 of Love Island. And I'm a guy called Terry. Don't feel like you have to take responsibility for it though Ian. Don't blame yourself. I didn't get my postal vote in time. I was absolutely gutted. Terry, Terry said, terry said, amazing man, he said, because we offered them the postal votes I don't know how many of them took it. Terry said doesn't bother me that much because I spend six months of the year and I beefer. And I'd have a mate who voted to leave and they had a place in Spain and I'll give you've got a place in

Spain mate so it's much better for us to be in the EU so so you can get back and forth before you went, and also, you know, the exchange rates can be effective, I've already changed all my money up. As if I'm like, he'll never need any more. That's insulted. I've got a lot of peseta's under yet then I'm imagining. Yeah you might just be at home with the baby little microphone in the corner of the nursery. Yeah I think they'll definitely put me into some sort of booth because I mean you know it feels too official to. It's TV it's not this kind of shit is it? I don't know. I've done some have you've done some have you've recorded some TV from my house. You don't need to to be in sprained. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've recorded. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I..................................... they. they. they. they'. they'. they'. they'. they'. they'. they'. they'. they'. they'. they'. they'. they'. they'. they't need to, I've always thought it's so, Ian, no offensive, you don't need to be in Spain to do the VIA. Oh no, no, no, every time I tell someone I'm going to Spain to do the voice over the like, well, what, those ones, why are they in their sentence to get them? It is mad, isn't it? It is mad, isn't it? It's absolutely I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to say I. to say, to to to to say. told. told. told. told. told. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to told. told. told. Every. Every. Every. Every. Every. Every told. Every told. to say to say tell. to say tell. tell. tell me. their. tell. tell me. tell me. tell me. tell me record anything. I just stay in a hotel for eight weeks. Why?

Just so I can speak into a microphone. In defense, though, Ian, because when I worked on I'm a celebrity, it was just a similar turnaround of like record it the day before and then the next day. Yeah. You stuff does get dropped and changed at the last minute. So you're sort of like, you're like a fire fire fire fire.O. You're on call at any point you can be rushed in. That is exactly, that is exactly, and actually I do have a pole installed that I do sort of the best thing about it is the first two series it was definitely better be in Spain because I'm not a huge reality TV fan, at least I wasn't. So when you're in Spain and we stay in a sort of a very like, it's an old people part, it's basically German

pensioners that are there and exclusively, that's it. So there's not a lot to do, so you sort of find yourself engrossed in this TV show for just what else is there to do really. Yeah. So it meant that I got well into it, which I suppose was quite good. And like, do you mean it became my world, which is quite good when you're working on it. And then, yeah, like you said, things do change fairly quick. So they've got to like, we all know what it's like, turning on a zoom call for something to tell you, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the, to to thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, to tho, I'm to thin, thin, thin, I'm to tho, I tho, I to tho, I tho, I to tho, I to tho, I to tho, I I th. And I I to th. And I I I I I I I I th. And, I I I I I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I thin, I thin, I the, I the the try, I thin, I try, I mean, I'm try, I'm try, I mean, I'm try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try and I mean, I mean, I'm trytell you, can you record that word again and you're just there for seven minutes. Go and click the microphone. But I mean that's quite stressful though, like, because I've got jobs coming up work-wise, well I don't really know where I'm going to be or how to sort of improvise of it I suppose exactly pre-coved this would have been this would

have been and rightfully so driven us absolutely mad yeah now you have to the have to that stage we're like oh do you know what it'll all work out in the end yeah what it'll all work out in the to the their what I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they'll their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to their they'll they'll to Have you been on your own with the baby yet? Or Laura been on their own with the baby? Like, have you had soul charge of the baby yet, Ian? I've had, well, again, because of the whole breastfeeding sit-choo, I can get, and I once looked after the baby for three hours. Okay. It was a fabulous time. You put her in that bouncy chair thing. Have you got one of them? A bouncy chair? Oh, I'm not the one on the door.

I was like, she's a bit young for that here and they're all over again. Come on. The Bjorn Borg one is it? Not beyond, not beyond. It's not beyond. It's not beyond. But we've got maxi cozy. Cozy, maxie, cozy, can you? No. I put her in that, that was, and then you could just sort of,

and I've also worked out how to, you put them in the pram. Yeah, and then you can put your feet on the back two wheels and sort of get a sort of left to right motion. I've got for an entire half of football with to love take, they do love moving, I used to love taking them for walks and listening to podcasts because the fresh air keeps them quiet and stuff. It's so counterintuitive isn't it? Like you just think don't move them, don't make any noise and they actually love a bit of a... Yeah. Sometimes when our baby starts crying we go from the pavement onto like the grass, she's out like a light. Off road. We off road it. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. the. It's the thrash. thrash. the thrash. the the. their fresh air the. thrash. the the their their their their onto like the grass she's out like a light. Off-road! We off-road it!

Can I just check, you mean in the pram, not when you're driving? Oh yeah, no, no, I'm not like Colin McCray rallying it about. How do you feel about, I was very nervous changing them when they're that small. And obviously I did it and I did the napp's put me in that outfit. I was like, they're in an outfit. Let's not risk it again. That arm is so little. I've heard it so hard. I'm quite good at nappies. I'm very good at socks. I'm all right of trousers.

I fall up. It's anything that. It's anything that. shoulder here. I don't know how it holds up like a turkey drumstick like oh no I've pulled them up. I don't know how people do it. My main fear was the soft bit on top of the head. Yeah it's like an avocado it's rang. Support the neck you are in peak support the neck territory. We and then that's all we do. We sort of ruin the fun of anyone else that thrown the fun of anyone else it's th. It is very to their to to to their to to to to their to to to their to to to to their to to their to to to to to their to to to to to to to to their to their their their to their their their their their. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. the the the their. their their their their thooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I. I. I. I. I the the to the the the to the to the the else that obviously COVID is very rarely happens. Yeah. Anyone else that holds our baby just gets... Support the neck. Yeah, but some people don't do they?

And they're like, and even parents of other kids, you know, they pick them up. Their heads start rolling around like a bowling ball. And you're like, what are they doing? I hate someone that's got I not, I mean hate. No, you know what? Fuck it, I hate. People that have got like six, seven year olds, so they think they're still no babies and they've completely forgotten everything and they pick up, you pick up your kid like it's an IKEA shopping bag. And they just think they know everything. I'm like, you're six, at least if they're like, if your kids like 10, 11, 11. Oh, I've like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I've like, like, like, like, like, like, they're, they're like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, I. they're, I. they're, I. they're, I'm, they're, I'm they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're like, like, like, they're they're like, like, like, like, like, like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, oh I've not done this for a while and they take some advice. The owner of a five-year-old rose your kid about like like a bowling ball.

Have you had many visitors, Ian? We've had the old six people in the garden that was nice and one of the couples expecting them one of the couples has got a two-year-old, was this nice sort of like rights of passage moment and all the, all the dad's six thss ths ths ths ths ths ths their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. Six th. Six th. Six tho' thoes thoes tho' th. th. th. th. th. th. thoes your th. th. thoes your th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, their, their, their, their, th. It's, the. It's, the. It's, the. It's, the. It's, the. It's, thin. It's, the. It's, thi. It's like, thi. It's, th. It's like, the couples expecting them one of the couples has got a two-year-olds was this nice sort of like rites of passage moment and all the all the dads had a little beer in the garden discussed where they were at which is really nice and I've noticed every parent says to me because we're like oh it's all right part from the sleep it's actually not too bad. It's really like she's just so so such a brilliant baby and like you're they're they're just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such a they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such such. you think they're so beautiful and I have such a lovely time you know it's not as bad as I thought and you're like wait till this everyone's like wait till they start moving yeah I know but you've got everyone is so pessimistic and it is a bit harder when they're running about but you that you

can't live in fear like that just if they're a teenager just a . Just blank that out of their team I'll always find you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you always you you you always always you you always always you you always you always you always you always you always you always you always you always you always you always you always you always you always they they they they they they'll be like, oh I think they're alright, or you wait until they start school and then they start school and it's fine. Oh wait until they're a teenager. Why don't you fuck off? I can't wait for you to shut your mouth mate. You're not helping, my kids fine. Give me a break. It's mad.

But you know what it is? No one wants toook to the like Boob really well and took like the bottle really well and I think that's the big that those are the two of the big big ones aren't they when they're small and then sleep none of them sleep no that's the thing. But if you've, if it's, you know, I think you're getting a role, if it's going quite well, it sort of carries on going well. But like, out of your friendship group, are you one of the last ones to have kids or one of the first or about the middle? Because it does change, like,

I'd group that I just stopped seeing groups and stuff. I find and a lot of people I know agree, notice this, my friends from back home, I'm sort of the last one. They're all babied up. Two, three, you name it, little house outside, slow cooker chat, all that, the whole shabang, right? How old are you in? I'm 33 years old? Which is like, you know, that's like 50 in Scotland, didn't it? I'm nearly done, many people say things like this. iPhones, been in our family for five generations. And so Scotland, I'm quite far, not far behind, but I'm the back end of the curve. And then London, my mates, some of whom are older than me, look at me with my baby, like I am an absolute maniac and I can't believe I've made this decision. And why am I not waiting till I'm 50 like everyone else? Yeah, but they'll be the 45 year old on

on a skateboard in Finsbury Park with a two-year-old going come on life. That's the one thing when you have a baby, when you have a baby, when you have a baby, when you have a baby, when you have a baby, when you have a baby, when you have a baby, when you have a baby, when you have a baby, when you have a baby, when you have a baby, when you have a baby, when you have a baby, when you have a baby, when you have a baby, when the their, when you have a baby, when their, when their their, when you have a baby, when their their, when their, when their, when their, when their, when their, when their, when their, when their, when their, when their, when you have a baby, when you have a baby, when you have a baby, when their, when their, when their, when their, when their, when their, when their, when their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tha, their their their tha, their tha, their their their tha, think I'd be able to like I mean that again now I'm being naked if you absolutely could if you're an older dad here of course she can maybe I just don't look after myself enough but there is a fault of like doing night feeds when you're in like your 40s or something I'd be like I'd don't know if I'd manage it yeah I'll get your back going to go up oh god and all that so I'm to try so on to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they to their to to their to to their their to to to to to their to their to to to that to to to that that to that that to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th that their their that their that that that that their that that that that that that that to to to to to to to to their to like five a size when you're like in your 60s. Yeah I mean I'm 35 and I make a noise putting socks on. It's certainly going to get worse. Yeah but Rob let's be honest you make a noise doing anything don't you? No I know what you mean it is it's weird isn't it that kind of age of because like I always think footballers have the children that of any type of people footballers have kids they always like you have got three kids. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi thi. I'm thi thi. I'm thi thi. I'm thi. They're always like, you've got three kids, I'm 22.

It's always like that, isn't it? Like, Jamie Vardy's got about 100. Yeah, I know. Do you think it's just that they've got nothing to do? I think they've got nothing to do. And they've got to hammer into our face with these kind of anecdotes he was sat at a table across from us he just looked so bored man because like it's I think was he on his own he was with it looked like he was with his agent

he was with his agent or a friend that, you know, they hadn't had a lot to say in a long time. How do you know he's his agent? Did he keep giving him 15% of his sushi? Yeah, that's the last bit of his miso suit. It's that thing, I think, I've think I've heard you guys talk about this before. It's like, if I've probably been a footballer, it's like you've got all this money and all this time, but you're not allowed to do anything with it. I'd rather not have the money or time. Yeah. It's like when you have a baby in lockdown is great because I'm not missing out on anything

at the minute. No, it's when my WhatsApp group start going, like, oh what am I going to do with this information? I actually find that quite offensive. It's so rude. Just don't invite me, you know that I'm not going to be able to come to the pub with an hour's notice. My mate text me saying, oh by the way, I've got a last minute at cons. A rooftop bar, like this nice roof that's awful what you've done to me. And also he's got a four year old kid and I had a two week old. I'm like, you know.

Yeah. I, well, I need a month anyway for the baby to be old enough for me to leave. How are you feeling about June the 21st? Do you got,, I think. No Instagram. I'm gonna pretend it's not happening. Yeah, because what I found was, because when your babies are young, you actually, if you go to work, that's seen as a treat.

I remember, you know, so it's like, what do you went out yesterday? Yeah, but I've not been out yet treat. I remember, you know, so it's like, well, you went out yesterday. I was like, yeah, to work, but I've not been out yet this week, like, oh, so I just, baby your work, that's life now. Yeah. I know, and it is quite lucky that our work is bored, like, this is work now. Yes, true. And to be fair, I have noticed that as well. I've tried to do that on YouTube a little bit and it is a good way just to get to play computer games isn't it? But I just, I'll be honest with you, I do not earn enough to warrant, I don't earn it, I'll say enough, I earn zero pounds streaming on YouTube so it's hard to tell Lou. But you need to use phrases like the long game. I'm breaking into a new fan base. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to play. to to play. to play. to play. to play. to play. to play. to play. to play. to play. to play. to play. to play. to play. to play. to play. to play. to play. to play. the game. the game. the game. the game. the game. the the the the the the the the the the the te. the to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to play. to to play. to play to Louvre, the long game and breaking into a new fan base. No one's earning money on YouTube yet. It's just going to take off soon. Pay her size all not bollocks. He's earning nothing. Logan poor fuck it off. No one's earning.

I'm just putting the groundwork in. Yeah it's just paper talk isn't it? All those figures they're being thrown around. It's imaginary money. How many few as you's you's you's you's you's you's you's you's you's you's you's you's you's you's you's you's you's you's you's you's you's you's you's you's you's you's you's you's you's you's you's you's you's you's you's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's earning. I's earning. I's earning. I's earning. I'm th. I's earning. I's earning money. I's earning money. I's earning. I's earning money. I's earning. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the money. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'm. I'm th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. th. thi. th. th. the. the. th. the. those figures that are being thrown around. It's imaginary money. How many people are you getting Rob? That's the point, Louise. Yeah, it was 80. Yes, you're right. I would have been a better off just to shout in the street. You're sure. But no, that's what I'm doing my best. How are you feeling about the euros? Oh yes. Scotland, in the Euras. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's. that's. that's. That's. That's. that's. That's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's the the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. the first time. Since 1996. Yeah and 98 World Cup was the last time we're in anything.

98 World Cup was the last time or anything. Oh, the other day I looked up who was the last person to score for Scotland. It's amazing who it is. I can't remember now. I'm so not. Do you feel like the fact you've got a baby means you're going to watch loads of the euros? It's not like I'm just asking this because that's exactly what's happening in my own head or do you think, oh this is really going to cramp my style when it comes to Scotland games? What if the baby's not going down and it's England be Scotland at 8pm on a Friday night? Yeah, what's your plan? Right. This is at the minute and this is genuinely true. This is a podcast Scotland are going to have three games games.. Scotland I've got three games guaranteed, right? Yeah, guaranteed maximum of three games, yeah. Was it Craig Burley?

Yeah. Against Norway in a one old draw. It was. We nearly didn't lose to Brazil. Yeah. Oh what a day Tommy Boy Scud and on goal. It was. We nearly didn't lose to Brazil. Do you remember that? I remember when you nearly didn't lose to Brazil. Oh, what a day, Tommy Boyd scored an own goal. Yeah, he did. And then John Collins used to wink down the camera at his babies, his kids at home. It was such a lovely touch. And I thought it was pathetic and now I think, oh, I'd love to be able to do that. So what's your strategy about this? this? this, so their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi. thi. thi. to to to to be. to bea, to be to be to be, to to be to to be to be to be to be to be, to be, to be, to be to be to be, to be, to be, to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. thi. to to thi. thi. to thi. to thin, to to their, to their, to to their, to to their, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, contract negotiations, you hear about them all the time. I wonder what demands people make. Genuinely true, I said that I need to leave early on June the 18th. That was the only thing I told my agent to negotiate with Love Island this year. That is hand on my heart the honest truth.

Because that's Scotland, England. Oh yeah, you've got to see that. So that one's in the bag. That has always been, between me and Laura, like, that'll be my first proper, I'm out, the hose. You are properly out watching it somewhere. But you might be out watching it with if you have to be in Spain for it but you have got a pass that day To watch that game, okay, and then it got a Gordon smart the radio DJ Yes, he's he's all over it. You'll organize something. I hope there's just gonna be just every single Scottish celebrity you can imagine in a room together.

I want Lorraine Kelly on Martin Constance's shoulders. Ian Sterling, Kevin Bridges, Nicola Sturgeon will be there. I think you've done well there, because there's no point doing some of it half-hearted. You know you've got one day that you go mental for and that's it. Yeah that's my big day I'm so excited about that I think yeah we'll try and make something work. And because also you're you know you're you're from Scotland and Laurisham Island. You've done your research Rob. Well you know I'd like to you know leave no stone unturned but so you know you're away from sort of like parents and help so what you've got a support network have you have a family come down. to to had we've had people come down again it's sort of like my parents came down but again because of COVID this is for me so lovely because obviously they weren't

allowed in the house my mom was looking for something to do and ended up getting like an old brush that we didn't know we had and just brushed all the patio in our back garden because she just wanted to do like housework or anything she could do to help out. Because she, do you know what I mean? She was just staring in at the dishwasher going, I should probably get, I can't believe I can't do that. So then just... Oh, bless her. If if the dice didn't have the long enough wire she'd ended ended up hoover in the lawn. I reckon. Well, you know, because I know you've got a pub in a shed at the end of your garden. Is she allowed in there? It's hard to know the rules.

She's not even allowed in there just in the garden bit. We've got loads of windows open. She can go in there. You know what I mean? The floor. rather than letting your mom go into a building there. We'll crack the window open, she'll be fine. She won't get hot in there. And obviously, like I said, with Irish and Scottish combining, and now you've got this child that's been born in London. So what's the vibe?

Have you settled on an English? Is it your child English? What's the, how you think the accent she'll have a strong Irish heritage I imagine. Like Laura's got much more family than me. The Irish people have got loads of family. Yeah. I mean I know and it's a bit of a generalization but it's sort of true. And as a Scottish person all your family are like, well dead. Okay. Don't worry about it. A bit of a generalization. But like yeah, I've not got any family. Mom and dad and my sister, but then that's it. So that you go to, I remember going to like a wedding, Laura's like, you'll meet the family.

I was like, oh, brilliant. There's about 90 of them. I was like, you want to meet my family? Well, there's my sister. to go home. Yeah, go home. heritage in her and I love Ireland myself so we're trying to get out there as much as much as we're try and get it up I just find it mad I'm gonna I've made someone that's gonna have like this sort of like little posh English accent yeah yeah yeah that is odd do you speak posh well mine have started to trycoude

no have they actually say water and they'll be like no daddy it's water does it ever like they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they try try try try try try try they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they'll be like, no daddy, it's water. Does it ever like, if they got a bit older, it looked like you like work for them? It does feel a little bit like, I'm like, the little oic that the British father's got to look half and ferry these little kids around. Why is their mechanic bringing them to school? I know, but that's the thing that would be so funny when they're like, bye-bye to all their friends, see you next week. And then you turn up with your accent and come in like, that's your dad. Do you know what I mean? I can't imagine my kids having a Scottish accent. Do you know what I mean? I know?

Well, that's what I'm saying it, so it is mad. It feels like there's someone else's kids. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't tho. tho. I don't tho. I don't tho. I don't. I don't tho. I don't tho. I'm. I don't tho. I'm. I'm. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I can't. I'm. I can't. I'm. I can't. I can't. t-s. t-s. to. toda. to. to. that. I can't will be you and Laura, right? Yeah, oh my gosh. So she'll have quite a nice kind of Celtic twang, but then she'll totally lose it. But it's one of those things about before you have a kid, it's so cliche, but it's genuinely true. Before you have to to be a little, you're going to be Scottish baby, he's going to wear a little, I, to, th...that. And then yeah, I'm not, she just do whatever she likes. I do find that, you ever find that mad thing

where someone's from like, like Yorkshire or something and they just say, oh yeah, I went to school and I just started speaking posh, and they've got this like mad posh accent, you're like, that blows my mind. Yeah. Well, do you know, do you, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. you, th. you, you, you, you, th. you, you, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.ach who works for off the curb. It's very niche. Yeah. He's Scottish.

So this is a person, yeah, but he grew up in Leicester. He grew up in Lester. He grew up in Scotland. I've known Andy for years. Yeah. He grew up in Lester. He sounds like he's so Scottish. Yeah.

I mean this means absolutely nothing to anyone else. I know, I thought, I was generally at the start of this pocket. I hope Rob doesn't ask too much about Twitch, because I just don't think enough people know what it is. And then we talked about Andy Leach for seven minutes. It's a lovely guy, but I wouldn't say he's a lovely blogger. He used to, he used to, I, well, I think everyone will remember when he was the live booker for the Lesser Comedy Festival in 2012, actually. If you wanted to get into the cookie, he was a man. He brought some big names to the cookie, formerly known as the Crumbling Cookie, but I'm probably

teaching all the listeners how to suck eggs at this point. Can we get them to something, you know, I feel, I feel like we've gone over this before on other episodes. I think we did this on the Robbie Williams episode we covered this. I've got a parenting question, Ian. If your baby still got the umbilical cord thing? Has it fallen off? It fell off. It fell off. Oh, it's so.

Oh, really? Yeah, but we got it for it for, the original, well we kept that little bit for a book, but we got the actual umbilical cord framed. Oh, really? Yeah? So what? I'm not going to lie to you Ian? Where do you want that? But where the fuck you put in that mate? In her, in her room, which now I think about that. I know, I know. Oh, absolute nightmare territory, that is. There's a bit of you that fell off anyway, good night. And do you know what's next to it? What? The scissors that I used to cut them by local cord? Did you take your own scissors?

Or did you steal them from the hospital? The guy gave me, the doctor gave me the come out of the doctors. Yeah. The guy sort of looked at me and just you can have these scissors if you want. I wonder the NHS is underfunded. They keep giving out scissors really nearly. In my head you've got a big pair of scissors like you're opening a supermarket. That kind of. They were cardboard. It took fucking ages.

And the glitter got everywhere. I streamed it on YouTube. There's only 70 people watching. I'm scared. So how do you preserve it then? Because obviously it is flesh, isn't it? Essentially, we gave it to the placenta to someone? Because obviously it is flesh, isn't it? Essentially, we gave the placenta into gummy bears. Have you eaten it? I have it? Yeah. Fish? It was nice? Yeah, well it is gummy bears, isn't it? So is it supposed to be good for you the plac the plac the plac the plac the plac the plac to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be plic plic placencea p placenta placenta to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to preserve to preserve to preserve to preserve to preserve to preserve to preserve to to to to preserve to to to to to preserve to to be pl pl pl pl pl pl pl pl pl placacacacacaccent to be plac plac plac plac plac plac plac plac plac placa placent the placent the placent the placent the placent placenta p placenta p placenta, the placenta, the placenta, the placenta, the placenta, placant placenta, the placenta, the placenta, the placenta, because placenta, to to to the placenta, because it nice? Fish, fish fish? Yeah, well it is tis. It's gummy bears, isn't it? So is it supposed to be good for you then plus to eat placenta? Yeah, I think so.

So they take the good bits from the placenta and put into these gummy bears. What they've done that is well, we've bunged the abilic accord in a frame. That's a better way of doing though, because some people keep it like in the freezer, but if you are going to eat it, I think the gummy bear is how I'd want to take it. What shapes it in? Because I've googled, because I've googled it, and some people do you in like hearts or love with it, but it just sort of, it looks looks, it looks, it looks, it looks, it looks, it looks, it looks, it looks, it looks, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, it's enough little frame and it looks like headphones, but it has dried up loads. Yeah. So what happened to the little bit that fell off? Because we had a nightmare where we lost it?

I think it was loose and it came off when we were retrieving her from our, um, the, no, those sl yellow, the little, did you just get clipped shut with like, you know those little clips used like seal pasta? Yeah, like a freezer, like you couldn't do a whole bag of kettle chips. Do you know what? Yeah, it felt like you could open like if you undone it and you turned on on our side those a rice would come out. But yeah, that's where that freaked me out that little thing. I was desperate for that to come off. Yeah, but I happened quite fast, it happened quite fast for us. Yeah, that is quite normally stayed them for ages. So I felt like it was haunting me. Yeah, no, we were glad and then she had an end. I thought she'd have an out, I thought that's how you got an outie just just by it getting pulled out too fast. Oh there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there. Oh. Oh. Oh there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that's. that's. th. th. that's th. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was th. I was th. Yeah. I was that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's wasn't there like the way you were where it was cut of initially and all that kind of stuff yeah I don't know how do you get an outy I don't know I don't think it's bodies are just a body yeah

you know who's got a do you know who's got an outy who's got an outy Andy Leach famously famously famously famously famous I mean that's a great thing but you talk about you talk about you you the you you you you you you you you you you you you you you the you you you you the you you the you the you you the you the the you you you the you the the you you the you to to to to to the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to. too too too too too they. the the the the they the the they they the thing but you talk about someone no one's heard of yeah go and then he has what you gonna what you gonna do you can't even google it. He'll probably get someone asking him then have you got an outee have you got an out he I would love that I would love that I would love that I would love that if just a few people off the cab just started asking him and he doesn't know why yeah well I th listen they they they they they they they they they they they they they listen they'll listen they'll listen they'll listen they'll listen they'll listen they'll listen they'll listen they'll listen they'll listen they'll listen they'll listen they'll listen they'll listen they'll listen they'll listen they'll listen they'll listen they'll listen well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well they they they they they they they they they they'll listen they'll listen they'll listen they'll listen they'll listen they'll listen they'll listen they'll listen they'll listen they'll listen they'll listen theyesting when they listen to this. That is a good way to find out. Agents and managers. I think, do you know what, I think we lose the earlier bit and the first reference is you

saying that Andy Leach has got an outty. That's it out of Norway. And he'll go, what the fuck is going on? What is it? How did you find it? All I remember really is Laura was like amazing and then all my job was I was to get Laura Lucasade that was the one thing to get her fruit and then she went to see where I need my lookazade but I'd got her actual lookazade which is too sugary and I'm meant to get a sort of isotonic look is aid.. the th. th. th. th. the that. that. th. th. th. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm the the the the the the the the the they. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. t. I'm t. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the and I'm meant to get a sort of isotonic Lucasade Oh, okay, so not the actual like medical medicine orangey one like the yellowy That is the most working class thing you've said so far today is the medical

Lookazade You know the one that you get when you're ill with that one not that one the sports one? The one that the one that used to get wu?? Yeah? Yeah the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the flu flu flu flu flu flu flu flu flu flu flu flu flu flu flu flu flu flu flu flu flu flu flu flu flu flu the the flu flu flu flu flu flu flu. Yeah? the that that that that that that that that that that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the flu flu flu flu flu flu flu flu.lu.lu. the the thu.lu. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the then the orange Lucas I need to drink that and you'd feel like iron man. And if it got really bad wine gums. So I needed isotonic because apparently that's got all this stuff for getting the food back in the system. Yeah that's so I'm about four centimetres dilated. I've got bags of time. We, we, there we are. The dad's royal way. To be fair. said, I'm so scared, I think my arse I were dilated by about one centimetre and stuff. I said, Laura, you sure you want me walking about because we are four centimeters dilated. It's quite dangerous for me to go anywhere. So I went, I went down.

I remember there was a lift that I get at the front of the hospitals. We get the lift down. And then I go and pick up th up th up th up th up and pick and pick and pick and pick and pick and pick and pick and pick and pick and pick and pick and pick and pick and pick and pick and pick and pick and pick and pick and pick and pick and pick and pick and pick and pick up and pick up and pick up and pick up and pick up and pick up and pick up and pick up and pick up and I go and I go and I go and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was their I was their I was their I was their I'm their I'm the the the the the they I'm they. I'm th. I was th. I'm th. I was th. I was so. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I'm th. I'm the the the hospitals, we get the lift down. And then I go and pick up my isotonic drink from a little Tesco Metro or something. Then I get a text from Laura saying, I am now nine centimeters dilated. You were holding her back. I know, I was literally getting in the weight. Well, do you know when you're more relaxed? So when there wasn't a nervous man a pair of scissors she really eased into it? Yeah? run back and all I remember is I got into the left, and it was the seventh floor, and then three doctors getting the left. And they also having a conversation about what floor they want to go into, and I just went, none of you press a fucking button on that thing.

Because I'm going up to seven, my wife's nine centimeters dilated here. And then an actual doctor turned turn turn turn turn turn turn turned to to to to to turn to turn to turn their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I was, I was, I was a their, I was a their, I was a their, I was a their, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thoooooooomorrow, I was a thea, I was a the. I was, an actual doctor turned around to me and I'm only one floor up. I went well you're going to be six floors up because there's no way. And then I got there sweating and then we waited for about another hour but it's fine. Well you sweating tired drunk the Lucasade back in the game ready to go. Yeah, I had the actual one. The proper Lucasaid. But yeah, nothing makes you feel more useless than someone having a baby in front of you. Especially because the midwives are so amazing as well. Yeah. I remember just I got the playlist wrong playlist, didn't I? I played the same playlist twice and then Laura was going, I've heard this song before and I'm trying to like find another playlist. It's an absolute nightmare. So you got the wrong Lucasay, the wrong playlist.

I'm an Eddie, the thing you got to remember me is I'm an idiot. You've got to remember that all. Yeah. Do you know what, Ian, your daughter's heading for an outy. There's no way you've come that correctly. I know, and I feel honestly terrible about it, but there will be at least one one, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, just be me going, oh shit! And I just run out of the house. Like I sort of know that's going to happen and it's like bit gutting really because I don't want to be that person but I am. Yeah. I think what the only thing that consoled me when I was in

when was in the delivery room and I was doing nothing. All I was thinking was about 50 years ago I would have been in the pub so I'm doing well to be here we were all changing I mean like my dad when his first kid was born he was in the pub how many is well well done mate congratulations cheers yeah yeah she's all right imagine not imagine not being there imagine going so you know I think I'd be more stressed at the pub no I don't know. Ian, one more question. Yeah. Well this is a, it's called Crosby's Law. If there's one thing, it's difficult because you're only been into it a month, but if there's one thing that your partner does parenting wise that annoys you a little bit but you can't really say, but you think it's a fair point because if you do bring it up it will be an argument that you probably probably th th th th th th th th th th th is th is th is th is th th is th is th is th th th is th th th. It will be th. It will be th. It will be th. It will be th. It will be th. It will be th. It will be thi thi. It's a tho-a tho. It's a tho. thi. thi. tho. th. the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. theeeeeeeat toge. tha tha thau. the. the. the. the. the. will lose is it's something that frustrates you about the way your partner parents and you know

it's it's difficult this stage I'm actually. I don't know this about necessarily parenting but the other day right we've got a nursery for the child yeah yeah. We've got a nursery for the child yeah keep the baby stuff in. Laura purchased a toy hammock a hammock a hammock for toys. Okay okay well the while while while while while while while while while the the the the th th. Okay okay. Okay okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the the the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I th, a hammock for toys. Okay. Oh, okay. While she was away, I'm glad you explained that because it was a very different thing in my head before you said.

Yeah, I know, like a sex swing for a furby or something. And it was when I was looking after the, it's my first time, three hours on my own with a baby, right? Now, I said, to hang this hammock for you. So I put my fingers on the wall and I said, do you want it about here? She said, yes. I hung the hammock, she came back and said, that's too low. And I said, that's exactly what you told me, that's what you said, and that's where I put the screws, and she said, I didn't think you were going to mark where you were putting the screws, I thought you were marking where the bottom of the hammock was going to be. Now, no, no, no, no. Now, come on. And that is, we've had, it was one of those days where we hadn't had much sleep. That is the nearest

we've come to a proper, proper argument. And we just had 20 minutes on, well that's where I meant the bottom of the hammock went. But also even a hammock, you can't predict the hang on a hammock. You can't, you've always said that you cannot predict the hang of a hammock. It's just part of luck. Maybe that was more me asking you, if you put your hand on a level you stood about it, were you touching the wall, Ian. I was touching the wall with with the wall with with with with with the wall with with with with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one the walling the wall with one with one with one with one with one with one the wall with one the wall with one one one one one with one one one one one with one one with one with one one one one with one one with one one one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one with one one with one one one one with one one with one one one one one one one with one one with one one one one one with one one with one finger in a sort of screw-like fashion. Yeah, well I think that's um... I'd argue though, but then, yeah, it would be hard to know where the hammock would hang though, wouldn't it, from there? I think I'm like... Exactly! It's a tricky one, um, and the real question is, were you gonna fall out? I think I'm on Laura's side. I don't want to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the to be to be to be that that that the to be that that that that that the that that that that that that that that that that the the that the that the the their their their their their their their their their their that that that that that that that that their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the th. I'm th. th. th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to be that guy. But I think it's, because if you say, you would never know how the hammock would hang

if you pick where the screw goes. But if you know where the bottom of the hammock is gonna go, then it doesn't matter where the screw goes because you know where the hammock needs to end up. Do you know what? I'm sorry. No, no, I think, I genuinely, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, my wife. I'm sorry I really wanted to be on your side Ian we go back. And also it was a bit a week ago and she'll be like what are you talking about?

That's the hammock thing. Have you heard of Andy Leach? Um, Ian, thanks so much. It's been pleasure. We'd have to get you back on when you're a bit further in and you're welcome back to come back on at some point. to. And we. And we. And we. We. We. We. We. to like. I. to like. to like. I. to like. I. to like. to like. to like. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to be to be to be to to be to be to be to be to go, we'll to go, we'll to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be, to be, to be, the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the. And we go. And we'll the. We go go back, thoomea'eruoome. Wea'eroome. And we'll thoomorrow, thi. And we'll to be a bit a bit a bit, thi anytime if you want to come back on at some point yeah yeah and also maybe it would be nice to come back on when I've like done stand up and like talked to like like another I've really struggled to talk to you two today I'm not going to lie. Brilliant I've enjoyed it Ian it's been great funniest you've ever been mate. Thank you very much I wish I wish I was more awake to have a comeback to that. You need to be doing this on four hours sleep, Ian, this is when you're at your best. It's great Ian. Thank you very much, thank you very much. Cheers, Ian. Well, thanks, Ian.

Well, that's a nice message, Ian, look at you. You're on fire today. Well, I did that bit out. I'm today. Ian Sterling. Good man, Ian, I love Ian. Really funny. Really good fun. Really funny. You kind of forget how funny Ian Sterling is because you just remember that he's the guy who does the kind of wry voice over to Love Island. Yeah, it's a proper comic.

Yeah, it's a great comic. And also, he's just like, him day to day Island you know what I mean? It's a proper comic. Yeah it's a great comic and also as well he's just like him day to day like he's so it's all something's always just happened or about to happen it's a bit of a nightmare like before we start recording he was talking about twitch but I like he's got great energy and I think he'll be such a great dad but I know he's he's already a dad but like as the kid gets older and stuff because he's so positive and so energetic and keen, which I think is always a great thing for a dad, isn't it? To sort of be interested in that. But yeah, that's interesting now because when I do notice, when a child's breastfed, the dad, the dad doesn't, you know, there's hard for them to get involved and do stuff. And I think there's a real difference in the early stage between between between between between between between between between between between between between between between between between between the the their their their their the early stage, the early stage, the early stage, the early stage, the early stage, to be, the early stage, to be, the early stage, the early stage, the early stage, their, their, in to be, the early stage, in their, in their, in to be, in to be, in to be, in to be, in to be, in to be, in to be, in to be, in to be, in that, in that, in that, in that, in that, in that, in to be, in to be, in to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, th.. So, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to their, the dad because they can't get involved, do you know what I mean? So it's interesting to hear him and it'll be good and interesting when he comes

back on. Oh Rob, oh it just all makes it feel so like it's about to happen again. Oh my God. Oh my God. You'll be fine Josh, you'll be fine. Anyway, we'll be back on. I've got to go to nursery Rob. I've got to pick your your your your your your your your your your your your your your your your. I picked. I've got to pick. I've got to pick your your. I've got to pick. I've got to pick your. I've got to pick your. I've got to go. I've got to go. I've got to go. I've got to go. I'll to go. I'll to go. I've got to go. I'll to go. I'll to go. I'll their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. Rob. I'll. Rob. Rob. I'll to go. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. I'll to. to. to. t. to. th. th. th. to a tele, because mine two are playing on a trampoline together and I don't have to look after babies anymore. Unbelievable. Wow, Christmas Eve was worth it after all. It was worth it. Right, see on Tuesday. Cheers, bye.