Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S02 EP40: Three words... Rob Beckett's mum...

Episode Date: June 7, 2021

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL'S02 EP40: Three words... Rob Beckett's mum...More misadventures in parenting and beyond...Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks - Rob and Josh xIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Looking for a collaborator for your career, a strong ally to support your next level success, you will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue. York you.C.A. Back to school signals a fresh start for students. New classmates, new teachers, new lessons. Change is in the air. But one thing hasn't changed.

The forward government still isn't investing in public schools. Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the supports they need. They can't wait another year. If the forward government won't change, it's time to change the government. Our kids are counting on us. Join us at Building Better Schools.C.A. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. Hello, I'm Josh Riddickham. And I'm Robbeckin. Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell. The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. And to make a little tricky. So in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation,

and to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest none of us know what we're doing. Hello you are listening to lockdown parenting hell with Rob Beckett. Rob Beckett. Very good. And Can you say Josh Widdickham? He was Josh Widdickam. Where's Josh Ghan?

Josh Widdickam? Josh is at the door. Okay, well done Harry. I wasn't at the door just to clear up any confusion there. That was very cute. This is my son Harry's attempt at an introduction for some reason when I said Josh Widdickham, he thought Josh was at the door. His 12-week-old brother Maxwell, who was delivered by my husband on our utility floor. Oh God, you've got to rename that floor now, haven't you?

The birthing unit. Where's the clean pants in the burfing unit? Oh my God, Rob, chances that you could have delivered your second child? Um, slim to none. I mean, I mean, the thought of that, the panic, Lou already hates me. The thought of her screaming at me and she's put it and I'm being annoying, go ahead, put a bit of well into it, will you? Rose gets annoyed with me, you know, if I can't find my wallet. But if, yeah, if I was struggling to estimate how far she dilated, she'd be absolutely

livid. You don't want to, you don't want the tape measure out there, do you know, oh my word. Okay, Lou, I think you're ready. I'm th. I'm th. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. the the to to go. the to go. the the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the're ready. I'm going to go for a sweep now. No, you're not. Okay, I'm not. That's what's happened. Josh, how you been? You seem chipper. Have you had sleep? I'd say, I'd say chipper is a relative concept.

Chipper than last week. Chipper than last too. should reference and apologize. Should we start with that? Well, yeah, no stiff neck or loop, because you were tired on last leg, but it seems like we had to sleep since then, but we didn't do any stiff neck or loose stuff or promote the book. We were both very tired. Do you know what it was? I was full of beans and I was cocky,

but I've done gig site and I've not done my evening job for months and months, nearly two years, I just cannot perform at 10 p.m. No, it's insane. It's so hard to be energetic when you're tight when you've been up since half five and then wait all day to try and have a laugh between 10 and 11. It's too late. And get this, Rob. Obviously, I understand the situation. But channel four, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not th. th. th. thi, not thi, not thi, not thi, not thi, not thi, not thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. I, th. I, th. I, the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the. I. I'm. I'm tho. I'm thoooooo. I'm the. I'm thoooo. I'm th. I'm their, their, their. Obviously, I understand the situation, but Channel 4, not this Friday, the following Friday, Rob. Yeah, England with Scotland, you're aware of that, obviously.

Yes, of course. We have been moved to 11 p.m. live. I feel like I'm a fucking overnight DJ on LBC. Right, guys. What do you think about cyclists? Mick Lamborgini here. Yeah, what do you think about cyclists? Mick Lamborghini here, yeah? What are they? Hogs? Hog to the road, yeah?

Two wheels, more like, no brain cells, more like. Get your calls coming in now. It's Josh Winnikum. You're good at that? Oh, mate, I tell you what, I could earn a fortune as a prick on talk. Well, you know, like sometimes people the the the the tha tha tha thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, thogs, hogs, hogs, hogs, hogs, thi, hogs, hogs, hogs, hogs, hogs, hogs, hogs, hogs, hogs, hogs, hogs, hogs, hogs, hogs, hogs, hogs, hogs, hogs, hogs, hogs, hogs, hogs, hogs, hogs, hogs, hogs, hogs, hogs, hogs, hogs, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi, hogs. thi, thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to too, too, too, tooes, tooes, too, tho, -up comedian that's made that journey in the last six months? Yeah. I bet, you know, like sometimes people are short of work, I'll be a helmet for a bit. It's like a new job now, isn't it? Being a dickered on the radio or on Twitter. I'm going to say lots of things. I don't believe in an attempt to feed my children. Andies? Feed them bloody lies unless you listen to me.

I've got the truth here. I want to uncover the truth. I'm like Tony Robinson with a dusty bit of mud. If anyone was at home having a wage on who'd do the time team reference, I don't think they'd have chosen you. Oh God, I'm so stiff now. What happens? What's was, what is, it was, it was, it was, it's, it's, it's, it's, that outrageous. I don't know basically what happened was it goes also what it's on so late you're not so late but it's late for two dads with young kids but it goes so quick are you're as a guest you're barely on it I

know I was a big and also I was very aware that I didn't want to over talk over everyone like I normally do so I was try to say it thi to their. and that Sarah Paso to say I the the th I th I I th I th I I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And that's that's that's that's that's that's th. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I'll try and say it this week but I was tired. Also don't do what's weird though is because I think when I'm doing that I feel like I'm performing I'm being the the Rob that goes in the tele but when I'm doing this is it actually like no holds barred and you're so like you know careers are saved in the edit the th th th th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to the to to to to to the to to to to to the the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. that we have to bleep or cut out. But when you're live on Channel 4, you just remember, oh my God, this could end everything. Totally. And it doesn't take a lot anymore, does it? No. To say something. Well, Rob, do you want to have to know why I was a bit stressed in the buildup to that episode? Why was she stressed? Well, Rob, earlier in the week, I'd got a text from Inco who does wardrobe and she said, Is there any clothes you need this week?

Or should we just work it out as we go through the series? And I said, I need some trainers, mate. And the reason is, three words, Robbicke's mom. Oh, really? Yeah. You were stressed because you didn't want to have dirty trainers on. I was stressed because I thought Rob's on. I cannot be seen to have dirty trainers if Rob's on because his mom already sees he was the kind of person who has dirty trainers on TV. Well, if she didn't mention it, then you must have had nice ones on. Well, Rob, I get there. The new trainers, they're like they're they're like two two their two their their too. They're like too. They're like too. They're like too. They're like too. They're like too. They're like too. They're like too. They're like too. They're like too. They're like too. their. their their their their their. the. the. the. the. thin. thin. thin' thin' thin' thin' their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. te. the. tha. tha. tha. tha. te. tre. tre. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. to. to. to. to. walking, are you? You sat down for an hour. No, I know, but Rob, it's a show about feet.

It's a show about feet. So I was wearing slightly, I was wearing my slightly dirty trainers, my slightly old dirty trainers, and I thought. And Inca said, well, no one notices on TV. And I was like, they fucking do mate. thick, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that, th. th. that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Rob, th. Rob, th. Rob, th. Rob, th. Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, th. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, the. thooo. thooooo. toe. too. It's, too. too. It's, toe. tho. tho. It's, th. It's, th. It's a the mad thing is, she has got the worst eyes. She's had about eight detached retinas, glaucoma, cataracts, about ten operations on them. I was actually in a hospital with her once where she was told that she may lose her eye, okay, until she had an operation. And I sat across the waiting room and in front of people, she went to me, you've got some mayonnaise past the

mom when something's dirty or you've got food on your face but yeah she's got a bit of a hawk eye for your shoes but she didn't mention him so they must have been alright. So I was worried about that. That wasn't my toughest professional engagement of the week Rob. Now what else if you'd been up to? earlier in the week I was very tired Rob. So to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to the to to the to to to the to to the to the the the the the to the the to the to to the to be the the the to be the the the week I was very the the to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tie. I was very. I was very. I was very tie. I was very tieu. I was try. try. tiea. try. try. tiea. try. try. try. try. try. try. I was try. I was try week I was on a three hour, three hour per night strategy. Three hours per night, yeah. Which was really hammered home on the Tuesday night when I had to record a panel show, and the record was four hours and I thought the record is longer than the amount of sleep I'm going to get tonight. How am I spending more time with Claire balding than I am asleep?

How is that? She's a firecracker that's what. I love Claire Baldr, don't get me wrong, but we all love Claire Baulding. Of course we do. But you'd rather go to sleep than have a bit of banter with Rod Gilbert and Claire Baldwin. Exactly. That's my that sounds is more harsh but in contact for you not in context. Yeah, because no one says. No one says are you all right. haven't had enough banter with Rod Gilbert and Claire balding last night. That's not, no one said, how's life with the new baby? I'm not getting enough time with Rod Gilbert and Clair boarding. That's not how life works. Oh God, well, that's like, most people obviously do work like an eight hour,

10 hour shift, yeah. You know, the whole day of getting there and you've their, and their, and you're, and you're, and their, and th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their, th. their, th. thi. thi's, thi's, th. th. thiolough, th. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No, no, no, no, no, th. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, thi. No. No, no four hours on panel show, but you that, you know, the whole day of getting there and you've got to prepare stuff for it. It's over eight hours. It's over a long day, but it's quite an intense period. It's I'd say, but when I worked in office, doing a panel show, it's sort of like, you know, when you have to do a pitch me into some. And say you've got like in a to go, like, like, like, like, like, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to, to go to go to go to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their. It, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. It's over, their. It's over, their. It's over, their. their. their. their. their. It's over, over, over, over, their. having to laugh and if they don't you feel like shit. Totally, totally and you only remember the bad bit in four hours there's going to be bad bits. But to do that and present basically and sell your soul and yourself for four hours and knowing that you only had three hours because you know the maths don't work. Even if I'm at my best, I've not got enough in the tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, ta, ta, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, to, to, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be like, to be, to be, to be, the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, th, th. And, thi, that, that, to bea, to bea, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, in the tank. The petrol light would have been flashing as the show started in your head, going you're

running out of gas, you're running out of gas. Yeah, they said to me at the start, Rod was, I'm sure he doesn't mind me saying this. He had a whiskey, right, as heat. And they said, do you want an alcoholic drink? Imagine what I'd be like an hour three if I had a whiskey now. Do you know what also as well? It must be... But thank you anyway, obviously. It must be impossible for women when you've had a kid,

especially if you've like breastfeeding and like, you know, because the baby's got to be sort of near you or in the dressing room because you're breastfeeding but even if you've like expressed, there's some bottles at home and they've been left with your family, your partner or whatever, knowing in a four-hour call you go, my boobs are going to have to be, you know, they're just fill it, my breastfeeding with milk. Because when Lou was breastfeeding with one of ours, we went to a football match, she had to express in the toilet of the emirates. Oh my word. Oh my word. Oh my word. At the last game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game. the the the their the the the their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll their they'll their they they they'll they'll they'll they they'll they'll. Oh, they's. Oh, they's. Oh, they'll. Oh, they'll. they'll. they'll. they're. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their. their their to their to their b. their b. their b. their b. their boo. I they're just. I'll just. I'll just. I'll just. I'll just. I'll. I'll.they get painful. I don't know, I've never had my tits full of milk before. But that is how it works, I think. I think it gets quite painful anyway. What place to express? So imagine, imagine how much worse it would have been, Josh, if you needed to express milk in your

breath. Oh my God, I can only imagine. You could only imagine. So that wasn't actually the day, so it didn't have, I mean, writing is a strong word. I had to, you write that? What, not this week, mate. I tell you what I had to do this week. I had to sit in on the zoom thinking, I am taking none of this in. But it's episode one, so it would be really bad for me not for me not to to to to to to to to show to to to to to to to to to the first to to to the first,. The first ever zoom, imagine that, the first ever zoom.

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So then, I didn't have a nap in the day. I had to go to Bristol to do a gig. You saw the picture of me in Prattamonger and how tired I looked. We're basically double glazing sales people. Yeah, exactly. You watch that episode of the office, you know when he becomes the traveling salesman. And you go, oh, he's got a bleak existence now. Wait a minute, that's my life. Yeah so then I I thought I'll get the tube to Paddington because I don't I it's quicker I don't have to sit in a car that there's lots of traffic don't get me started on the current

traffic on the Hattany Road okay are we doing your full travel itinary from East London. No but I just need to tell you this okay so I was so I the the th so I I I I I I I I I to I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tell. the the the the the the the the the the the the the try. I the to to to to to to to dington. Get on a mile end. I'm reading and listening to music. Reading? Reading and listening to music. Yeah, listening to music on my headphones and then reading, reading a magazine about football. At the same time? At the same time. You're not doing either. Well, obviously I'm not doing either. I can't concentrate on anything. Why are you doing both? I always do both. So you listen to music? So what, the, the, to, to, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, to, to, to, the, reading, reading, reading, reading, reading, reading, reading, reading, reading, the, reading, reading, the, reading, the, reading, the, the, the, the, reading, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, reading, the, reading, reading, reading, reading, reading, reading, reading, reading, reading, reading, reading, reading, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, reading, the't concentrate on anything. Why are you doing both? I always do both. So you listen to music, so what, okay, well what was you listening to? I'm listening to music currently, what, what was I listening to? I don't know, I've got no idea what I've used to listen to a song.

Well, we could guess it's probably some sort of 90s indie band. No, should you be honest with th honest th honest th honest th honest thian thian thian thian thian thian thing thian thian thian thian thian thian thian thian thian thian thian thian thian thus thus to be honest with to be honest with to be honest with to be honest with to be honest with to be honest with to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What thian music thi. What thus. What thus. What thus? What thusu. What thusu. thea? What the the thea. thea. thea. thea. tooooooooooooooooo. What to to to to to to a lot of Keno recently. Hapia? Hello? What's your favorite favorite Kano song? I'd say, T-shirt weather in the manner, my friend. Sorry, so you got Kno on and what you're reading? A preview of the Euros, a magazine pull-out about the euros. I'm trying to read about the other teams and stuff. Yeah, so to work out. Okay, because you're you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you're you're you're you're you're you're you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what the the their. What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what you. What, you're the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their-a, what, what, what, what, what, what, you're their-a, you're their-a, you're their-a, what, what, you're their-a, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, you of the euros, a magazine pull out about the euros. I'm trying to read about the other teams and stuff.

Yeah, so to work out, okay, because you're doing that, right? Yeah, on the Paddington. Yeah, so I get on a mile end, and then I get off, and I'm walking up the tunnel tunnel, and then I go, wait a minute, I've got no idea what station I'm at. And then I look and I'm at Tottenham Court Road and I'm about to get out at Tottenham Court Road. And I'm like, I've got no idea what's just happened. I've just got off the train and started walking in my own head, almost out to land, out onto, into the street. Sea level. But yeah, into C level.

And I have no memory of doing it or what happened. Did you stick it off that station a lot for gigs or for last day? I never get off the Donham Court Road, really? You know, any more than anyone else does. Do you know? I just, something happened. Like I have no memory of it. You know when you're driving and you don't remember the last bit that's like that but yeah yeah and then

and then you just let's go back down. It was such a surreal experience where I was like maybe I was enjoying the grime too much but I've done that I've done that I've done that before when I used to when I've moved house and I finished work and out of just routine walk back to my old the the old the old the old the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I've th. I've th. Yeah. I'm th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm t. I'm just just just. I've t. I've t. I've t. I'm just just just. I'm just just. I'm just. I'm just just. I'm just. I back to my old house. Have you ever done it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I did it three times in a week. Oh wow. And then the third time. How far away in your house? Well no, it was basically like a ten minute walk but like the opposite direction but I just kept and go back the old way. And on the third time I just stood down to then what I'm the the what the same. What was. What the same?? was. What the same? What the same? What the same? What th. What th. What th. What th. What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? th. thi. thi? I was? I was like? I was like? I just stood. th. I just just just thi. I just stood. I was just thi. I was just thi. I was just thi. I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was. What? I was. What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? th. What is? th. What is? th. What is? the th. What is the the th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. thi. th. th. th., blime, what am I like? Three times. Do you know what I mean? It's saying I might need to get a scan or something. So then I get to Bristol, eventually.

Yeah, good gig was, yeah, I mean, it was fine. You're just, this isn't about parent anymore. It's about Joshua Ridicum's survival. Yeah, and then, luckily, they they that they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they that they they that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. I might. I might. I might. I might. I might. I might. I might. I that. I. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the. that. took tole. took took took took took took tole. took took took took took. I might that. I might about parent anymore. It's about Josh Rodecom's survival. Yeah, and then, luckily, they told me that I'd come off stage too late to get the train back. So they organized a car to drive me back. Ooh. Did you sleep in it? Well, Rob, can you imagine the issue I'd have with sleeping in the car, Rob. It's not good for my neck.

No. What? Yeah, but it's good for your sleep. I had to do a trade off. And I had an hour's sleep and I had a stiff neck for the next two days, Rob. It's been a tough week, Rob. Josh, but the people are giving you loads of stick on Instagram for saying I'm not going to lie. Have I said it already again? And I'm going to say it Rob. There you're like catch raises. I've got to stop saying those. I know, I know, I know. This isn't the time to do a wholesale change of my

vocabulary. Okay well let's you're aware of those and you're working on them and if there's any way of the second one. I'm not going to lie I'm going to say say. I'm going to say. I'm going to say. to say. to say. to say. to say. to say. to say. to say. to say. to say. to say. I'm going to say. I'm going to say. I'm going to say. I'm going to say. I'm going to say. I'm. I'm going to say. I'm going to say. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm going to say. I'm going to say. I'm going to. I'm going. I'm going. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I'm to. to. to. I'm to. to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to say it, right, yeah, okay. But if there's anything I do, let me know and then I'll try and work on that as well, so it's not just a pure Josh Bash. Every time I say one of those phrases, I'll give £1.50 to charity. Mate, I think that you'll be down for about 80 quid. To be honest with you, Rob. It's to be it Rob, I'm happy to give that money to Cherry. I'm not going to lie. Fuck me. Mate, I'm going to talk to you because I think you should need to hear this because I was getting a bit cocky about the kids and stuff because yeah.

Yeah, talk to me about it. Because I've been getting to sleep and they're three and five and five now. They get into the point point, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the point, th. I, the point, the point, the point, the point, the point, their, their, their, their, their, their, that, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. I. I, I, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm, I'm, th. I's, th. I's, tha. I's, tha. I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I. They go and get it and Hoover up their own crumbs. Oh my God. Which was a huge moment for the family. Yeah. And I was to the point where me and Lurie in one room and then in the other room we heard the Hoover going and she was doing the whole front room. Oh my God. And I was like, this is out right. This is getting beyond the joke. the. the. the. the. th, the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. thi. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, the th. And, the th. And, the the. And, the th. And, the the thus. And, the th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And the joke now. This is absolutely insane. However, in half-term, they've been doing swimming lessons every day. Yep, in the morning. Every day. Yes, I like to do half an hour every morning. I mean, going together because it's an absolute logistical nightmare.

Getting two girls ready for swimming. Yeah, because you take them into thepoo, the whole time. And also, the problem with a men's change room is there's just dicks everywhere. Yeah, there is a lot of dicks. And even when there's kids in there, there's still like, I think, I think I just put a towel on. You don't have to walk to the show to naked. No, in fact, in fact, in fact, in fact, it the fact, If someone's a big knob, be like, right, fair enough, mate. We've all seen it, well done. Congratulations, give a man shake, slap his ass off, he goes.

But you see these little nuggets walking, little nubbing? You know, that's pathetic, mate. I'd be ashamed. I wouldn't, I wouldn't even leave my own house. kind of shield their eyes from all these little dicks, right, everywhere. And anyway, so we go and get changed and they're like, they're giving me absolute shade because I got there a little bit early because I wasn't sure what I was doing. And then one of them went to me, when we come swimming with mummy, we're actually on time and I was like, you little bitch, right? So what happens is one at 10 a.m. into the changing room and get one in the costume and then walk them to the side of the pool, holding up one who's fully dressed hand, and then you sort of drop them off and then you have to leave them in the pool and then go wait in a cafe.

And then you're in the cafe but then you're in the cafe. But then I was the pool from the cafe you can't right but then I got carried away and because I didn't judge it right so he always need a we and getting changed I was at the swimming pool and I was nearly late to pick up the first one and drop off the second one because they like to take the time you get out of five ten past you have to go back in about 20 25 past to get the other one ready and then they the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to the the to the to the to the to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one th I I I was toom. toom. trym. trym. trym. toom. trym. toom. toom. trym. thea. the the then we had to, so I have to drop that one off and then get the other one and get that, the first one cleaned and out of the, you know, the swimming caution, into normal clothes, and then you're going to sit in the cafe again for another like eight minutes, and then you're back in, you're back in again this like swimming vortex of wet clothes, wet hair, there's stuff everywhere, I was dropping stuff and then all in that time as well. I have to constantly

take my mask on and off to get, because it's off in the cafe at the table, but then you have to wear it into the changing room and then on and on and oh, oh it's carnage. I can't believe I can't the carnage. Ohowel swimsuit cafe towels swimsuit cafe? I want a snack I want to drink I couldn't deal with it. I thought it's probably like quite a relaxing thing to do them. I mean it's only two. I mean it's only two of them. Imagine if you're like two. The woman who runs to cafe when oh yeah you're all right I've got nine kids and I went well you've got a problem I mean that's not that's not you don't go all guys I easy if you just stop having kids nine men's how can you get nine ready for swimming that is unbelievable nine pairs of? their shoes and you know nine dries up on you know me and Lou will have a chat. Yeah that's good,

that's good. So did you do it again? It was every morning you were doing that? Every morning that was and then in the end Lou tried to do it on her own and she'd come back all like we both kept coming back like really like distressed. their. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. That's. That's. that's. That's. that's. that's. th. Yeah. Yeah. That's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And have to think all the time. And also they're a bit funny about being left in there, like the ones aren't sure, so you have to go, yeah, I was seeing a bit, it's okay, and then they're clinging on to you and stuff, so you don't want to be late, don't have dropped stuff, but in the end we went so that's the main thing. How is half-term generally? Do you know what, it was really good to be fair. Like, they had loads of things planned.

We went and saw friends and went to the park and they went to the little farm and all that. So it's good. Because it's older, that was good. But it'll keep saying we, we, poo, poo and bit bits, right? Is that their thing? And I just said, why do, why do you keep saying we, we, poo, bit, bit, because it's funny, the funny words. And I said, yeah, but there are other funny words, what's another, another word is funny. And then one of them just slug. And then one of them went, sllug, sllug, sllug, sli, sli, sli, sli, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, why, why thi, why thi, why thi, why thi, why thi, why thi, why th you th you th you th, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're thi, why, why, why It really made me laugh at the slug. What did you say?

I think here's a funny word, isn't it? I mean that's one letter away with you having to give her a stern talking to Rob. Yeah, well exactly. But yeah, so I didn't see him on Sunday, bit like yesterday, because we're doing this on the Monday, but I'm extremely hung over at Josh because after I went to the Baftas. Sorry you didn't win Rob. Oh yeah I did I didn't win, big nasty one. How was the experience? Um, it's weird when you can literally sit in a pub with five mates but I can't sit two

meters away with someone without a mask on. So you just sat on your own for the whole thing. No, I was sat next to rumthere for ages and there's so many awards and do you know what I sort of just realized I don't think I watched tell. Because I was I had that when I don't know anyone. I don't know anything. When like four bafters I'm like what the fuck is this? I know. I don't, I don't like tele.

And it all and some of it was so like full on like the speeches. There's one speech one over three minutes Josh. Three minutes! Three minutes! Casualty won best serial drama and the bloke was who got the award was banging on about it like casualty, it was an actual NHS hospital. I was like, you are wearing a TV. You haven't been in a pandemic, mate. You just done TV about it. I was applauding every Thursday night for the cast of casualty, Rob, I don't know about you.

And the Holyoaks, because some of them weren't there, there was a lot on screen. No, the Holyoaks was nominated, but it was really weird, because people in the Queen Victory Stendon, there's like eight or to ten cast members all spread out. And the Holy Oaks, it was in like, the Holyoaks. It was like, the ha, the ha, the hii. the hi hoa, the hi. thes, it, thes, thes, the hi, the hi, thes, the hos, the hos, the hoaks, the hole, the hole, the holi, the holi, the holi, thoaks, thoaks, the holi, because, because, thoaks, thoaks, was, is it one guy? Was it Tony? Tony O'Oaokes? I don't know who it was, but no, but it was, yeah, it was interesting to set up, but yeah, it's sort of quite long in it and stiff, but I went out and had a few drinks after and stuff. But yeah, that was good. But yeah, that was good. that's they. th. th. th. th. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. they. to. to. to me. to. to. to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. the. the. the. Oh. the. the. Oh. the. the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh. Oh. like normality is returning? Yeah, I know it's weird because then certain like when we went for drinks after it was you just sort of sat having a drink inside with no mask on but then like when you're like it was so weird just being sat behind Claudia Winkerman with a mask on and it could, it just could be a wig with a mask on there's no face. She could have sent someone in her place. That's not it? Because you've got such a big

fridge straight down to the top of the mouth. That was good. It was good. It was good fun. Well, next year, Rob. Next year. Also, I had a flashback to when I was tied with the newborn Josh when we had our first child. Me and Lou had an argument about sleeping in a car because you know you got your hour asleep back from Bristol. We actually had an argument that when I got a 90-minute car to West London to do filming because when our first one was six days old I filmed Taskmaster the one the one where I rolled in goose shit and jumped over a fence that one and I'd I literally had any sleep and on the way back I slept for 90 minutes in the car and Lou was we had this rattle about that was like because I was like I haven't

had any time to sort my head actually you had the car time and and that was like we were jealous over a 90 minute drive to Chiswick. I'll be honest with you Rob there's so many bits of my job that currently look like I'm the luckiest person in the world in this household. Yes, I mean just having a Pratt at Paddington Station. Oh my God. For Rose would be like incredible. Yeah exactly. I mean I just took Rose to get her jab and obviously she went in to get her jab. What for? We're going traveling for six weeks. We're going we're going traveling for six weeks we're going backpacking The Zika Yeah, we're hiking through the Amazon Just thought why I haven't been on holiday for two years. Let's just go for it How hard can it be? Exactly. Um, so but then I had I had like 45 minutes. I just went and sat in cafe nearer on my own and you are like? This is now? This is it for me. This is that that's peak Josh Widdicum time. This is my

ultimate dream is to have some situation where I'm early or something and it means I have to sit in a cafe that's all I want from life is that so pathetic. Josh are you got any emails or Instagrams or don't want to do the Instagrams? You do the Instagrams, Rob, because it was something bad way. Oh, I should say, by the way, just one more thing on the tiredness. Oh, yeah. Because I've written it in my phone. I was so tired the other day.

I think we should have a tired. If you're more tally of who why who's the most tired? Do you know what in the last two nights? Yeah, he has been putting together runs of two and a half hours without waking up, so I've really rallied since then. Oh wow, I mean, what do you even talk about being tired for mate two and a half hours? Exactly. So I'm currently working on, you know three. blocks of two and a half hours of my sleep, which isn't that bad. No, it's all right to be fair. But yeah, if you're more time than Josh, let us know. And also, if you've got anything you want to send in, any stories and stuff like that,

let us send it into, Hello at lockdown parenting. Or, you can't DMOB, Josh. Or they do care. I've got a celeb, Josh, they do care. I've had a baby, I can't sleep. The last leg Joshua would come announce his heat and wife Rosa welcome their second child. Didn't announce it.

I've been talking about that for three weeks on this podcast. I know, they're not listening. But you know, when you're on Channel 4, when to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the to to the to the to the to to the to the the the to be on. the the the to be on the to be on to be on to be on to be on the the the the the to be on the to be to be the the the the to be the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theananananananananananananananananananan..a te.a te.a.a.a.a.a. theanananananananb. theananananb. the. th fucking well used in the Daily Mail. They've skipped through my bit. Also they've got comments. I try and find the comments and read the comments about your article. Would that be funny? Well you know I'm a fragile that's what was going to say Rob actually. On Saturday I was so tired Rob I burst into tears four times during the day without realizing why. I just started crying. There must be a try the the the the try. try. try. I try. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm try I'm try I'm try I'm try I'm try I'm try I'm try I'm try I'm try I'm try I'm try I'm try I'm try I'm try I'm try I'm try I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try I'm try I'm try I'm try I'm try I'm try I'm try I'm try I'm try I'm try I'm try I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try to try to try to try to try to try to try to try to try to try to try to try to try to try to tiggered it. No, but it was always just like totally meaningless stuff. Like what? Ah, I'm trying to think of an example of something. By the looks of it, it might be the daily mail comments.

Oh no, go on. Hit me with the daily mail comments then. Um, oh, this is quite fun. I guess Rose really liked Lord of the Rings. Oh come on though. Because you look like a Hobbit. Yeah, that's good. Hobbit, that's fine, isn't it? I'll take that. Since when has he been a comedian? I wasn't told. Yes, lovely.

Really good. I think the last leg is two leftists for DM readers. Yeah, I think that's a fair comment actually. This is quite funny this quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite th funny. Thank th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. that's thi's thi. thi. thi. thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thee the the the the thean the the thean thean thean. thean. thi. thi. thi. th his podcast three weeks ago. Yes, have that. Here we go. Oh, best rated all these. Hugely underrated comic. You're getting positives.

I'd say that's not true. I'd say I'm rated at about the right level. I think you're adequately rated. Yeah, I'd say I've reached my level and I'm fine with it and the people are fine with it. Do you know what, Richard Pry's got nothing to worry about, but I'm giving it a good go. I'm making a lovely living from it, but I'm not going to go down in history. Ha ha ha!

Unless you do something awful. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Do you reckon they'll put a picture of you up when you die at the end of the Baftas? Uh, this man sat through four separate bafters without winning. That's how he calls a death that was. That's cause of death, boredom? It's so funny because the Bafter Wall's literally a face of a stiff neck you hold, isn't it? If you add up, right? Each of those bafters, by the way, each of those ceremonies is longer than the sleep I get each night. By the way, just saying, no.

I'm excited to hear about people that are more tired than you. I think it's going to be a great, because we and Lou make tiredness a competition and who's the most tired? I mean she went to me but if it was a competition I'd win which was never the funniest most petty things ever. Here we go any other this is just a oh it should be called the left leg. Yeah that's that's classic do you get that? Because Alex doesn't go right leg. Yeah so it's actually quite fairly positive for the the man online. Yeah and people people that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tho. I's funny. I's funny. I's funny. I's funny. I's funny. I's funny. I's funny. I's c. I's funny. I's c. I'm that's c. I's c. I's c. I'mthe mail online. Oh, that's a shame. Yeah. And people say they like the podcast.

So, yeah. Oh, that's good. There are some awful stuff, like you don't want to hear with that. Yeah, I don't want to hear that. Dullard. I'll take Dullard. You'll take Dullard. mail article so I have absolutely no respect for them even the ones that say they like the podcast. Right let's do the Instagram messages there we go dear Josh and Rob I was listening to the Helen Russell podcast episode I can

relate I'm an Australian who moved to Denmark around the same time as Helen I have two daughters seven and nine strange names wey who hey whooshed lovely better business when the eldest was around five years, it's the old, her kindy castle visited the fire station to see the trucks, etc. When she came home, she told me she'd also seen the frozen animals. She went on to explain, I mean, if you haven't listened to the Helen Russell episode, they do a lot of like, just dead animals.

What's it called when you cut open? Dissections. Dissection. Yeah, they're quite gruesome, but they're into. Anyway, she saw the frozen animals and they went on to explain they had freezers full of dead dogs and cats and deers, which they could look at. Apparently, it's where they store any dead animals picked up off the road, so it's essentially a road kill morg. Why would you keep them? Oh my word. Oh my God. She recently slept over a large aquarium with her class and had the fun of seeing an octopus being chopped up and could play with its guts. Oh my God. And got to write things with its ink. This is also normal for Danish schools.

And then when my youngest was six, a teacher thought it would be lovely to walk, to each week, walk to a different child's house and visit their garden, eat their morning snack and walk back to school. This is in an area where most of the kids have been a one kilometer radius. When it came to our daughter's turn we warn the teacher that we were in fact a 2.5 kilometers away through a thick forest. Needless to say 25-six-year-olds are very tired after a five-game round trip. Keep up the good work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work. I I the good good good work work work work work work. I that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I I I I I I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. their their their their their their their today. We're too. too. We're too. too. We're to. to too. We're to to to to to their to their work and love listening, Jane. Thanks Jane from Australia now Denmark. Thanks Jane. Oh, here we go. Are these people struggling with Euros?

Also, I've just found out it's Lou's birthday on the England Scotland game. Oh, mate. I've just said to her, I'm watching the football. Yeah. Well, this is the thing. Euros does start this week, Rob. I know but I can't, if it was Croatia, but I can't, Lou's having a little get-together anyway. Can't you do something in the day with Lou? No, she can't, because she by accident signed up

to do a little plague, a thing where you go and help with the kids at their school, but she didn't realize it was her birthday. Oh, she's had a howlter. She's having the euros will Lou B? Or not out of 10, just tell me. You don't need to put a number on it. It's 8. End of conversation. No, it's. Happy now, do you want to do it? So do you want to chat? Good, I've got a spreadsheet. I'm going to applaud it. How is your week out of 10? Seven? thanks Thanks for listening. So she'll watch England games and would be up for like loads of people coming around to watch and things like that.

But she'll probably watch it with me, but I feel guilty, but I might have to do something for I don't know what to do though. Oh God, I'll have to think, I'm panicking now. Right, let's concentrate on this and I'll sort of it out later. This is from Emma. series one I decided to send you a it work for me suggestion. I've thought about telling you this before when you mentioned kids squabbling over things. I have three children, boy 18, boy 16, girl 14, and when they were small they used to fight about others taking their things and so I decided to color code my children. Go on. My oldest was blue, then it was the middle one was green and the youngest was red. It's important to

choose colors that are easy to get in everything. When I say everything, I mean coats, bags, plates, cups, toys, etc. Even Christmas wrapping paper. That's going to affect them in the long term, well, they're 18, 16 and 14, so I'd love to know what they think of their color. Even Christmas wrapping paper is a that that that that that's that's that's that's th. That's th. That's going th. That's going th. That's going th. That's going th. That's going th. That's going th. That's going th. That's going th. That's going th. That's going th. That's going th. That's going th. That's going th. That's going th. That's going th. That's going th. That's going th. That's going th. That's going th. That's going th. That's going th. That's going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going. That's going. That's going. That's going. That's going. That's going. That's going. That's going. That's going. That's going. That's going. That's going. That's going. That's going. That's going. That's going. the. their. their. their. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tho. It's going their th know what they think of their color. Even Christmas wrapping paper is a proper color. When one of them would say, he has my insert name of item, it was easy for me to see if it was true or not. This was an absolute game changer in my life. I think, even now, if I buy them all something, I will buy it in their colors. I think thi, even think, even think, thin, I think, I thin, I think, I thin, I think, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, thin, tho, tho, tho, tho, thin, thin, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, than, than, than, than, than, to to to to to to to to to throoooooooooooooooooooooooooo. than, than, but it's got to have some sort of psychological impact. Yeah, what are the three options? Sorry, run me through them again? Green, red and then blue. You want blue, don't you? Yeah, like red.

Red is not a color. Your whole life is like red. Especially if you can do different shades, it doesn't all, aren't you? I don't think that's a good idea, Emma. I like like like th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. thathea. thathea. th. thoomoomoomoomoomor. th. their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. Green, th. Green. Green. Green. Green. Green. Green. Green. th. Green. th. Green. Green. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. th. thin. thin. th. th. tha. th. tha. th. thee. th. thea. thea. thea. Green, thea. Green, green, green, green, green, green, green, green, th. I don't think that's a good idea, Emma. No, I'm not sure about it. I mean, I like the idea, Emma, but I do worry about the psychological impact of a child only ever seen one color. It is an issue, but it is a good way of working. She says the 18-year-old, whose color was blue, now lives on a boat in the sea. And we've got green here now camps and then the red one. Oh, yeah, I'm not, I'd love to know what they're, how they feel about it. Because it's obviously great for the parent, because it makes things easy.

But Emma, if you listen, I'd love to hear how they feel about it, and if they want to get in contact, or anyone else has done this, because that is, I think, I too too too too too too too too too too too too too to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be this because that is nothing too extreme. Can't be good for you can it? Well we'll see. Hi Rob and Josh, I've got an email here Rob. Mm-hmm. You two have kept me company on my dog walks to the past year. You've given me some proper laugh out loud moments. Bin Gate being one of them.

Good to get a shout out isn't it? I'm a mom with a 25 and 17 year old so I've had it easy. I've just been scrolling through the crazy dating site, plenty of fish. And I'm going to, can you hear my baby crying? Oh God. By the way I should say just before I was recording this, well I was about to come upstairs and I said you're alright to take him for a bit and I thought oh gosh she's forgotten that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. the the the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've thi. I've too. too. too. too. too. too. too too te. too too today. today. the. the. come upstairs and I said you're all right to take him for a bit and I thought Oh gosh, she's forgotten that I've said I'm recording this. Just this an absolute disaster But I haven't got an option. So no, I'm not right. See you're not boring. to see you. the theyla. Right. How do I copy or whatever, they said on the Daily Mail. You're not boring. You're just a dad doing his best. I'm going to take a vote of my computer screen on the phone.

Okay, send it to you. Oh, someone said on the comments. Sorry to be so bored by your sob story. Because you said to tie it. Sob story? Your voice is enough, thii. th is enough. th is enough. thi. th is enough. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be thi. thi. to be to to to to tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. to me to me to me to me. to me. to to be to be to be to be to be the their. their. their. their. their. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thea. thea. toda. toda. toda. today. today. today. today. them laugh. That is an absolute win. I'll stop writing material. Rob, that's from plenty of fish. Right, show it. Oh, does it come through? You spent sitting? Whoa. Oh, oh, hello? Look what? Norty boar. I won't give him his full name, but it does look like his naughty boy. Yeah, right. I've got a lot of one. One. One. One. One. One. One. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's. th. th. that's. that's. that's. that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, th. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. I like Edgar Davids? What are those glasses? I don't even remember owning them with his arm around you. Yes, I've met him somewhere that looks like like about 10 years ago. You look so well. I've got some issues here. He says he's 5 foot 10.

Yeah, there was no way he's 5 foot 10. There was no way he's 5 foot 10. There was no way he's 5 foot 10. There's no way. he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he is he he he is he he is he he is no way is no way is no way is no way is no way is no way is no way is no way is 5 he he he he he he th. he's he's he he's he he's he's he's he's 5 he's 5 he's 5 he's 5 he's 5 he's 5 he's 5 5 5 5 5. He's 5 5 5 5. He's 5 5. He's 5. He's 5. He's 5. He's 5. He's 5. He's 5. He's 5. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th is th is th th th is's no way he's five foot ten. There's no way, he's five foot ted. Unless he, unless I'm talking to him on a step. He is from Kent, so that does, that does check out that he would know you're off. It's good for 54, doesn't he? He does look good for 54, doesn't he? But if you consider how long ago that was that you looked like that, he's probably 44 in that picture. I don't realize how stupid I look until I see myself next to a normal person. My mouth is so big. They've got them stupid glasses on. My hair's like a big blonde bird's nest. I just look into, I don't look like a normal human, do I?

I look like a cartoon boy that's alive. Did you t I mean? Yes. You really don't, I don't ever remember you wearing those glasses. No, neither do I. They are absolutely insane. Is he put them on me? Or am I wearing his glasses, I'm bad now? Yeah, you can have a photo with you.

Can you put my glasses on? Yeah, let me t we go. A bit of fun, isn't it? A bit of fun. A bit of fun. Do you know what? Is he the son of Anne Widdicum? Sorry, just a few more comments. Oh yeah, do the son of Anne Whittak? Do some research? It's spelled differently, you fucking idiots. Oh, loved his sitcom. Someone said there, that's nice. Oh, I don't have any belief in any of these daily rail people. Do they have th the the the the their th th th th their th th th th th th th th thi their thi thi thi thi their thi thi thi their thi thi thi thi thi. Do thin th. Do their their thi. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do their the son the son the son the son the son the son the son the son the son the son. Do the son. Do the son. Do the son. Do the son. Do the son. Do their thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do thooooooooooooooooo. I to to thooooooo. I thoooo. Do the. I th. I thi. Do th. I they have those things where they have thumbs up and thumbs down? He's one from Pontifact Pat, who now lives in South Africa. Yeah. Funniness and Josh Widdicum is like the Pope and a course on brothel management, just not connected.

Wow. That is phenomenal. What the fuck is that? Funnipact? You fucking loaded! I'm like, can you click on the profile and see, and see,rofac fact, Pat? You fucking loaded! Can I reply to her? Can you click on the profile and see what other things, Pontifract?

Good one, I'm just going to write a good one, Pat. Yeah, go on, with your name. Oh, I've got to log in. I've got a dusted mail account. You don't need to do that. Who's commenting on it? It's not exactly like it's like a juicy gossip one. It's you and you. Who's got to the end of it? Also, if someone announces they've got a kid,

all you say, if you have to say the things, oh, congratulations. I've never, I've never, as a postman, if my poster went to me, I'd a kid the other day, I'd go, oh, you and delivering, you, you, you, you, you, tha, tha, tha, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the the th. the the the tho, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thooooooooooo'a, the the thoooo, too, to to get other day, I'd go, oh, you and delivering letters. It's like a popeter than avocado. It's just not cricket. I'm fucking, man. I was doing letters, what's that? I've just had a kid. Why is it? Why, why don't you slagging me off?

Doesn't happen anywhere else, does it? For a supermarket, I's giving me a percentage breakdown on negativity, Rob. Right, okay, so if I go to... What's the most popular comment? The most popular comment is someone saying a hugely underrated comedian, 240 uparrows, 67 down arrows, but it's still 67 down arrows, and that's the best I've done. Yeah, but a lot of people are, no so and then people have replied a reply to that message saying oh I think he's unfunny but then a lot of people saying I do think he's funny.

Oh no I love Joshua Winnockham's podcast. Definitely not. Definitely. I don't dislike him by any means. He's not a clever comedian and definitely not underrated. He's very average. Which is, I think, worse than the proper hate. Why are so many South Africans commenting commenting on this? They do like a divisive opinion. You say what you like about South Africans, it normally does go right down the middle. Surely there's big a shit going on right. Come on guys. I donthere's bigger shit going on, right? Come on, guys! I tell what?

Why don't you have a little look at yourself, South Africa? Poor old Josh is banging out a kid. Why don't you saw what's going on there? Yeah. Oh wow. Yeah, and people saying they like, people saying they like, and they're saying they're You like Brexit, mate. Well, it's amazing. It's really is. Do you know what? After all these months of wanting to get in the daily mail,

I'm not sure it was for everything it was cracked up to me after all. I think you've swerved it, to be fair. Like the Ian Sterling ones have about 3,000 comments. You've done all right. Yeah, should we do this. Right. You must be tired, Rob. I've got a kick tonight as well. Oh, why are you gigging? In West London. It's miles away.

Hi, Rob and Josh. Sean here from Planet Play, the theor Play Center. Myselfelfe and the second of March. Yes, keep talking. Keep talking. Honiton know it. They opened it on the 2nd of March 2020. 21 days after opening we were closed due to lockdown since then we've been shut for 11 months.

We are reopening on the 17th of May and can't wait. I've been working for a window cleaning up while we've been closed and had to be able to spend way more time with my wife and three boys, which was a huge bonus. However, please can we have a shout out as we are reopening and we would love people to come and enjoy our play centre. I mean the wife listen to LPH constantly keep doing what you're doing awesome stuff. So that's Sean at the Planet Play indoor Play Center, Honiton Devon. There we go.

What you got, Josh? This is a serious one, but this is a really nice one. Hi, I have a small business to promote. It's not my own, but in light of the episode with Charlie Baker, I thought it was a good one to shout out. It's called Little Leo, and it's run by a lovely lady called Beth, in memory of her little boy Leo, who was born sleeping, and his brother bear who she lost through miscarriage. She creates handmade pieces of jewelry in memory of babies who didn't make it to earth whether through miscarriage or still birth. She sells a variety of jewelry with small wishbands to encourage fertility wishes to sterling silver necklaces and bracelets in memory of your child. I bought my husband a small wishband with a beautiful

poem printed on the card about how it always be a daddy after we miscarried our first baby and it brought him so much comfort. Beth. the the the their to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be their their their baby. Beth. Beth. Beth. Beth. Beth their their their their b. Beth, th. Beth, their their. Beth, th. Beth, th. B, th. B, th. She, th. She, th. She, th. She, th. She, th. She, th. She, th. She, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. She, th. She, th. She, th. She, th. She, th. She, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. theeeeeee. And, thr-I's, throooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. She's, the, the, the the card about how it will always be a daddy after we miscarried our first baby and it brought him so much comfort. Beth is lovely and amazing and this brave thing to do to continue her son's legacy. The website is HTTPS I don't need that bit surely I'm up I got Pete on World Wide Web dot just click on Internet Explorer. I have a modem, 56K. Make sure no one needs to make a phone call. Is your phonewap enabled? Because you're in luck.

These guys have got an online site. The website is W.W.W.W.W. The Little Leo Jewelryco.com. That's the Little Leo Jew.W.W.W.W.W.W.The Little Leo Jewelry. Co. dot com. That's the Little Leo Jewelry. co. She's also on Facebook at Little Leo Jewelry Co. Well, good luck, guys. With your businesses. Good luck, everyone.

Josh, we've got, um... Except those people who read the Daily Mail online and leave comments. You're not a dullard. Look, you're not overrated. You're just, thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's, thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi., you're not underrated. You're rated, mate. You're just a rated guy. He's fully rated. Perfectly rated. Yeah, thanks listening. We've got Paul McCaffrey, who's just had a baby, like a one or two week old. So he's fresh.

He's on the episode on Friday, a very funny comedian. Always the best ones when someone's in a worse position than you. Exactly. Also, don't forget to tell us how tide you are if you're more tired than Josh and we'll do a little competition and you can get in contact, Hello at lockdown parent.co. UK. And also your small business shout-outs. And don't please rate and review on the app. that be very helpful. Yes. th. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. to. Thank. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. to. th. th. to. th. to. th. th. to to the the th. the to to to to to to to to to to thi. th. th. th. And, th. And, th. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, the. And, the. And, t. And, t. And, t. And, t. And, t. And, t. And, t. And, ti. And, ti. And, ti. And, ti. And, ti. And, ti. And, toda. And, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, ti. And, ti. you can that be very helpful. Yeah do rate and review. Do rate and review because it makes a difference.

Thank you. See on Friday. Bye. Hello, Alan Davis here, inviting you to join me by listening to a new podcast, seven pillars. Each episode I'll be talking to a famous guest to discuss seven significant cultural influences, inspirations or experiences. Seven things that help shape them, that they loved, tho, th, see, the th, their, see, see, their, see, see, see, their, see, their, see, see, see, see, their, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see. See. See. See. See. See. See. See. See. See. See, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see thi, see thi, see thi, significant cultural influences, inspirations or experiences. Seven things that help shape them, that they loved or that they return to again and again and hold a special place in their life. From films and music, books, food, places and memories, the podcast asks seven questions

that will spark stories for the guests and give the listener an insight into the minds and passions of some of the most interesting comedians, actors, writers,, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, thi, seven, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and theea, and theauuiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, seven, seven thi, seven, seven, seven, seven, and the guests and give the listener an insight into the minds and passions of some of the most interesting comedians, actors, writers, philosophers and raconteurs around. Starting with comedian Romish-Rangon-Atathen in episode one which is out now and in the coming weeks we have Hollywood actor Walton Goggins, comedy legend Joe Brandt, author and intellectual heavyweight, Jayperini and many more. You can find the show by searching seven pillars on all podcast platforms.