Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S02 EP8: Wheelie Bin-gate

Episode Date: February 16, 2021

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' S02 EP8: Wheelie Bin-gate More misadventures in parenting from Josh and Rob. Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx  If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] TWITTER: @lockdownparent  INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parenting A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. Hello and welcome you are listening to lockdown parenting hell with Jasper. Can you say Rob Beckett? Jasper? And can you say Josh Widdicum? Good boy. There you go. Go on Jasper? There we go Jasper. There we go Jasper. I bet you didn't know many Jasper's growing up. Did you Rob? I think we need to have some sort of diversity of people that do these clips. They're all middle class. Rob, this is your new audience mate.

Deal with it. Stacy, Stacy, Stacey. Let the dog out for a shit and come and do this. Stacy. Jas, it's always Jasper and Hugo, wouldn't it? Jasper, did well though, they're Jasper. Yeah, Jasper is two. Uh, the last week actually. Happy birthday, Jasp. It would be great if you could play this on your podcast as my husband doesn't know I've sent it in and we'll be listening to you whilstthat the bathy will be laying in is secondhand bath water first used by Jasper

that will no doubt be murky full of sock fluff and consistent at least three wees that Jasper purposely saves for the bath. Why is he getting in that? Yeah just run another one? Tell you what Rob you have got your working class list so they're working class in the 60s. Yeah, exactly that the eating's been turned off. You know. They were a bath a a a bath a bath a bath a bath. the bath. the bath. the bath. the bath. the bath. the bath. the bath. the bath. the bath. the bath. the bath. the their. the the the their. the the the the th. Rob. Robe. Rob. Rob. Rob. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. t. t. Yeah. t. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t....turned off. You know. They're in a bath in front of the fire in the front room. Well, I, if I get in, sometimes I get in the bath with the girls, but then I get, I have a shower straight after and that's me being, getting washed time. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that'sthat is a very bad choice of those. Their pleasure, not your pleasure, which is still not great. I still don't think that's ideal, Rob.

Welcome to the show. How are you? Yeah, good, I'm not too bad. I'm happy that it's half term. Yeah, of course. Yours, you're still in nursery stage, but like, my eldest was just getting fatigue and just over it and like you know you know we're not working as much as we normally would be and we can't go and do things but she was like grinding every day like nine till three doing different stuff like she's exhausted

and we're like floating around board and I've got a five-year-old who's like frazzled like a New York accountant so we're quite enjoyed just like bluey is on Disney Plus now so they're just watching that in their 90s, eating chocolates left over from Valentine's basically. So yeah, you went Valentine's big, didn't you? Yes, Lou loves an event. Also, that was more extreme. We basically, Lou did all this really. It wasn't any of mine doing, like, their teaves.

to thii. and set out like it was a birthday but for Valentine's. But I think just we are doing anything we can just to make the days different. So we just went, let's just go, if there's something you can cling on to, we just went mad for Valentine's in our house. And Catherine Ryan put on a good thing where some people, you know, you know, that them to be treated well,

you know, I want them to have high expectations, which I think's good, didn't it, so they know they were all good. How are you, Josh, how you getting on? I've just got some terrible news, Rob. I hope you're sitting down and think about what we're saying, shall we? Bit too free wheelie, isn't it, stand up? So, Rob, why do bad things happen to good people? Why do bad things happen to good people? Okay, go on? I've had my bin stolen. Okay, right.

What bin is it? That's all you've got. That trip to do the bins once a week. You only trip out really, isn't it? Mate. It's a very, I need your advice. Okay. What bin is it? Is it?

Is it? their bins? I, Hackney Council, a couple of weeks ago, we all got new bins, mate. We all got bigger bins because Hackney Council are changing their pickups of the main bin, not the recycle bin, from one week to fortnightly. Yeah, we're on a fortnightly shift. It's a tough gig down in South East, is a tough gig. You always got too much. I'll go to shock you how many bins I've got in a minute. I've got to to Yeah, well, I've had to buy extras. I hope you've double check that they've got your initials on all of them. Well, you have to have, you have to have your name written on them. Yeah, well, they're half that. I'm not, I'm not gonna go into the politics of the fortnightly's delivery, I know a lot of people are angry.

I realize this cuts in local government. I also realize people need to be encouraged to do the recycling. That is not the issue I have here. Yeah, because you've got a separate food bin. Yeah, separate food bin, separate food bin, separate. So it's the any other bin, which is probably a third bigger than your average wheelie bin. So I was excited to get this. I would argue the any other bin is the bin they want to be obsolete soon, but I would argue that they're getting bigger.

Well, I'm not gonna lie to you Rob. Mine is obsolete. It's disappeared. It's completely gone. I'm having to go full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full to go full to go full to go to go to go to go to go the to go the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the their the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th option. You're going to self-sustain. Basically going to be the good life at my ass from now on Rob, but there we go. So talk, talked me through, what's the situation currently? You didn't write anything on the bin? No, not in the first five days of having the bin. Yeah, and then yesterday came out, the bin men had been, so I presumed it had been delivered, you know when the occasion they'll put it back in the wrong place. Yep, yep, that's happened to me before, slight panic, then you go, of course, they popped it there. Fine. That's why you number,

that's why you number them. Next door, they had four bins, Rob. Like, this is when I found out for the first time. I was I was I was I was I was like, they, they, they, th. I was like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi, thi, thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. thi. thi. thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's happened, that's that's thi. thi. thi. idea. I presumed it was two flats. Four flats! Four flats! That must be tight in there. You've seen the size of my house. That is not a four flat house, though. You've got a lovely house, but it's not a lovely house, but it's not a two flatter.

It's a two flatter. It's a family home. they've all got their numbered A, B, C and D. I'm not gonna throw out suspicions into who it was on the street, but one house have got two of the new Big Bins and they've written their number on both of them. Oh, but have you spoken to these people before? Well, no, because I only realized this yesterday, and I just, I don't know what to do Rob. Oh, right, okay. And I thought, if ever there's a forum to discuss it, because obviously it's a difficult conversation

to basically accuse someone of stealing your bin. I don't, I can't foresee them going, it's a fair cop. They probably maybe even think they have to, rightfully have two bins, like you seemingly think Rob. Like, no, no, no, no, I've I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I no I we got given bins but I bought extra bins oh right so they may have bought an extra bin so that's exactly that's this is all my worries right so I don't know what to do would you confront them would you phone hackney council if you phoen council would you let on your suspicions about the other the other house I personally I would let that bin go. Yeah.

And I would ring Hackney Council and say I never got a bin. Yeah. But that is lying. That's what I'd say to you off the podcast. Bob, it's particularly bad considering, you know, we've got a bin. You know, we've got quite a broad listens, Rob. Well, I wouldn't be surprised if someone, to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to bea. too. toogeckn't to be. toogeckniphounkogeckinkehouncuncuncuncuncuncuncuncuncunctheananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananan. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. toe. toe. toe. toe. toeaned. toeaned. toeaned. toeaned. toeaned. toe. toe. toe. toe. you never got a bin yeah and then but now on the podcast I say just swallow it and buy one but I don't know you can buy one Rob yes only bins I've got how many bins I've got yes I think I can't imagine anyone's got more bins than me in a in a residential property okay I think you've got

five bins including recycling and others. No no in total yeah seven. Talk me through your bins wrong. Okay we've got. This feels like the end of a get of an ICB game show I'm going seven. I need you to talk me three seven otherwise we can't give you the star bride. I've got eight. I've got eight I forgot eight I forgot I forgot about the little wicker ones in your house they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they the they the they they they the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I've th. th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've got th. I've got th. th. th. th. th. th. I've got th. I've got th. I've got th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I've th. I've th. th. th. te tole tole tole. tole. to to tote. tote tote tote. tote. tote. tote. I forgot about one. You know the little wicker ones in your house? They don't count, right? No, right. I've got two brown willy bins for paper recycling, two green wheelie bins for plastic recycling, two black wi-bins for any other business, and I've got a food bin and then I've got the black bin that they gave me to put all my plastic and card in, which is just, and considering the current world we're in of deliveries is an absolute insult to even the prospect of recycling. So I'm running an eight bin operation.

Rob, I've got to ask you, is that final black bingo and begging? Because I could give it a great home. I'll be honest if it's sometimes that bin doesn't get used, but when it gets to Christmas and things like that, the bin the bin the bin's the bin's th, th, th, th. th. th. th. I I I thi. I thi. I thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. thi. I's, I's, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'm, I'm, it's, it used but when it gets to Christmas and things like that the bins getting involved it's I'd say it's a it's a seasonal bin. So I did I did phone up Hattany Council and I gave up. I can't believe you got a seasonal bin. Well no but but then sometimes they missed like to date they missed a pick up when it was snowy last week so I've got I pulled them back in full and now the seasonal bin can be used as a sort of reschedule bin yeah yeah it's a reschedule bin yeah I'm running an

eight bin ship if anyone's got more on eight bins talk to me because I was dead against it when Lou suggested it but since I've received the eight bins and we've got a side alley they can all fit in I'm all I'm pro eight bins I'm not gonna lie to you there's someone on a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they they they they they they to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the to lie to you there's someone on our street who's trying to get to eight bins. I can tell you that for free. Oh well I'm sorry that someone stole your bin. Yeah well I phoned Hackney Council I was tenth in the thing and I gave up. Tenth in the queue who else is ringing? Well I don't know but there's a bin there. There's a bin there. There's a bin there's a bin there's a bin thief the thief thief thief thief thief thief thief thief thief thief thief thief thief thief thief thief thief thief thief thief thief thief thief thief thief thief thief thief thief thief thief thief thief thief thief thief thief their their their their their their their their their their their their thief. There's a bin thief. There's a bin thief. There's a bin thief. There's a bin thief. There's a bin thief. There's a thief. There's a thief. There's a thief. There's a thief. There's a thief. thief thief thief on thief on thief on. thief on. thiieieiefeeeafeeeat-in. There's thief on thief on thief on thief on th't it looking after well we put her in the bin and I'm not going to lie we haven't seen her since from it's been a very quiet week but she's had a lovely time at a new home it's been do you know what big weekend yeah

moved her bedroom oh okay what why's that because we've had the loft finally kind of more to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. the the the the the the the the the the they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the had the loft finally kind of more or less finished. So that's not a spare room. So she's moved up to the old spare room. Okay, and in her old rooms, the new spare room. Yeah, I'm not going to lie to you. I have never felt like more of a man than I did this weekend. Oh, what happened? I'd dissembled two beds. Yeah. two beds, made a wigwam, do they call them that any more? TPP? I don't know why, but both of those words feels like they could cancel us. Yeah, mate.

Assembled two beds, got rid of two beds, built a kind of a kind of chronicle tent, a kind of inside tent. I'm sure it's fine. No wig um, no wigwam camping holiday, unless that's a really racist company. I think we're all right. I think we've, I think we've shown enough worry about saying it, enough concern. Yeah, so we've shown that we're not throwing it around willy-nilly. Yeah, okay, just to be sure a wigwan is more of a curved top, so a tip is what I th, I I I th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, we're thi, we're thi, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I'm thi, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, we're thi, we're thi, we're thi. thi. thi. thi. I think we're thi. I think we're thi. I think we're thi. I think we're thi. I think, we're thP you've done yet. Yeah. I did love your attempt to try and re-edit yourself straight after and think of another word. Now TPs, Argos sells TPs. If we're going down, Argos are coming with us. Well, the way the high street's going, Rob,

I wouldn't be surprised if Argos are going with us. This podcast is bought out by Asso. ASOS. So I did all that this weekend. It was absolutely one of those kind of, I felt just alive. I felt like a proper, I used an electric screwdriver for the first. Oh, a Bosch, a little Bosch one. It was a big, it was one that was a drill that had a screwdriver bit that you could put in it. Right. That does feel good. For someone who doesn't use them all the time. Especially for you because you don't do it, and the same it, a it, a it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most th the most th thi, one thi, one thi, one tho, one thi, one thi, one thi, one thi, one thi, one thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, you could put in it. Right, that does feel good. For someone who doesn't use them all the time, especially for you because you don't do it and same as me, we're not DIY guys are we, Josh? We're not DIY guys. And it gets you out of parenting as well, don't it? Well, she likes to help. Oh, okay, that is a thiiiii. that is a bit annoying. Yeah, but you know it's it's a lovely life-affirming moment, but it did mean I couldn't finish my podcast

We've spoken about the one in the one in the technique of a podcast But when you're putting a bed together, I think you just have to sacrifice a podcast Yeah, yeah, you do also because there's bits falling all over the shop you could crush a child at any moment with a new Yeah, exactly well, that's good. Well, that's good. Well, well, that's good. Well, that's good. that's good. that's good. that's good. that's good. that's good. that's good. that's good. that's good. that's good. that's good. that's good. that's good. the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their together. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. the. thea. and then I didn't know how to chase it up and suddenly I didn't feel like a man at all. You feel weak then don't you? Especially like you. And then part of you think how hard are they? If it went to a fight could I take them over this bin? Well, also imagine if it got into some kin to the dispute Rob and then I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th their th th th th their th th th th th th th th th the. the. the. the. the. the the. the. theateate to to to feel to feel the the the the to feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel the the the. the. the. the. th feel th feel th feel th. th. th. th. th. You th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to just never bring it up. Well yeah, exactly. I think your best off just bury it. It's done. Oh, I forgot to tell you something Rob. Go on. This was massive. I was leaving nursery and by the way my daughter now prefers nursery to us. Okay. How often does she go? Three days a week? Yeah. But she's not in on, which day isn't she in, Thursdays, Wednesday

night, it's a mummy and daddy day tomorrow, the disappointment in her voice. In your defense, there's, at nursery there's loads of other kids, right, playing, okay? And when it's just you two, it's just you too, and in the house or the park, they're bored of that. Yeah, tell me about it, mate. She thinks we're fucking rubbish. We took them, we took the both of them to the park the other day when it was really cold, you know, it's like minus six, right? And one of the youngest was being a rati, oh, she's been really ratty, what's it? If it weren't lockdown and we did this, social services will be involved.

What are you doing? You're taking your kid to the park. It's minus six, keep them inside. This is dangerously cold for a child. No wonder she's ratty. So don't do yourself down, Josh. It's just because you can't do much with them, you know. No. Invent something to do that.

Anyway, anyway, well I did, we made four beds together. Anyway, I was leaving a nursery, a guy stopped me, one of the other parents, pointed at his legs, do you know what he said, Rob? What? Point at his legs and said, I'm wearing tracksuit trousers because of your podcast. I can't believe, what, I just can't believe that you're not on your own of something that never wears trackset trousers and I'm loving the fact that we're bringing more sort of middle class up type people into the world of tracky bees. It's a great world.

Honestly, mate, it was like I'd opened a door into a new world for him. He was, you know, very nice man, and he was absolutely delighted that we'd introduce the idea of tracksuit trousers to his life. I do think that the style of people, you know, I've been looking at going, you know, going to the shops and things like that, when you see people come at the shops, everyone is dressed slightly at the moment with, and the slightly looks like a sort of a Russian alcoholic, just walking around the street. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber 1 for students.

It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber 1 for students, a membership to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. What does possible for your business. It's having the spend spend spend spend spend spend spend spend spend spend spend spend spend spend spend spend spend spend spend spend spend spend to spend to spend possible possible possible possible possible to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tooomompioli, to to to tooomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomom. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to? It's having to spend to power your scale

with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with Business Platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and Conditions Apply. Visit MX. to the t-sasks, business platinum. Well, I'm going to say it, Rob. This is how much I've lost kind of interest in dressing to even leave the house. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I I the the to to to to the thea thea t. to to to to thea. to to tha. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to that, th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thean. the thea. the the the. thea. the. thea. thea. toea. toea. thean. to. to dressing to even leave the house. Yeah. I've thought about buying some t-shirts that I don't like,

because I fear that I'm using t-shirts that I like that I like on pointless days. Because you know, you only get so many washes out of a t-shirt. Yes. So I was like, I'm wearing t-shirts that I like wear for the rest of lockdown. You know what, I think that's a good decision, you know, you get like from next to quite good ones where they're like five quid and then you can you know you could just wear them until we're allowed out again and then you're wearing a tisk and then you're just giving up. Have I just lost it? their tf, thi. I don't. I. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I thrown. I th thrown. I th th th th thr-I. I think. I thr-I. th th th th th th th th th th th th thi. their like. their like. their like. their. their. th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thi. thr. thi. thr. thr. theeee thee the theeeeee thee theeeeeeeeeee. the. the. the. t-shirt really. Max. And you can keep wearing it, but it's ill-fitting. And then you just think you're getting fat.

You're like, this don't fit anymore. It went, it's because you've washed it at 80 degrees. The sleeves get so short. You look like your rollerblade on a Miami beach. How did you try to-shirts full so t-shirts I think of outstayed they're welcome too long and they need to be taken to a charity shop for someone else that's smaller than you and they may fit them yeah that's part of my personal opinion anyway I totally agree I totally agree I do one more question yes one more question. Did the old box of stuff you wanted to get rid of outside the front of the house?

Oh, you love that, yep. Love it. Shall I give you the items? You can tell me which one wasn't taken? You didn't put it all on the bin, did you? And they just took the residents of Hackney. Okay, okay, talk me through. Okay. A mirror. Okay.

A framed poster for Italian 90. Oh my God, wait, I don't have had that. No, it's a very bad print, Rob. Oh, okay. It's a very, I got done on eBay. Oh, you got Ets bullshit. Right, sorry, a mirror of Italian ID. Then a toilet seat. Okay, working all the toilet seat.

Yeah, brand new. Oh, okay. In the packaging? In the packaging. Okay. A sun canopy for a bugger boo-boo B-5. Love the detail, the white towel you'd give to a baby. Okay, right, alright. So I think the toilet seat and packaging has gone immediately.

Yeah, yeah, that's great. It doesn't want a fucking toilet seat right. Yeah, especially a new one if it was old product. I think Italian is gone. Yeah. Oh, something all like that. So what we've got left. I thirty. thiiiiii. they. th. the th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thoooo-a. the the the tho-a tho tho tho tho tho the the the the the the the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi th. th. th. th. th. So th. So th. So the the th. So the th. So th. So th. So thi. So thi. So thi. So, thi. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Yeah. I was surprised to that because who the fuck needs that on a Bugaboo B Fart? Like, that is a niche item. But someone will re-adapt it to use somewhere else. Okay, cool. So what we got left? Mirror and white towel. I think the mirror got left. Now the white tow is is is is, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, tow, tow, tow, tow, tow, tow, tow, tow, tow, tow, tow, tow, the white tow, the white the white tow, th, that, tho, the white, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that is....... that is. that is. that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a the white, that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a thattoo obvious to White Tow. But a towel's a weird thing to pick up on it because it's something to clean you, isn't it? But yeah, white towel,

that was it. Yeah. At least she got rid of the heavy stuff. Exactly, mate. Do you know what? I enjoyed that game and we'll play again next week. Also can I say, um, Rose sells a too, a to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the their to to to their to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the white. the white. the white. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the white. the white. the white. the white. the white. the white. the white. the white. the white. the white. the the the white. the the the the the the white. tow. tow. tow. tow. tow. tow. tow. tow. tow. tow. tow. tow. to to tow. to to tow. to t Instagram. What I, a personal highlight of mine is when she's sending a light fitting, your arm comes into shot to help sell it. Because you have to hold the light fitted up and some of them look so heavy I can see the veins in your arms popping with strain. Honestly, that kind of small chandelier thing, I was having to lift it up and then because we only had probably about seven or eight seconds The bits were still swinging on it It was like taking a moving shot of a kind of animal in its wild in its natural habitat. Oh my god. Well, we'll put them on the Instagram page But yeah, it really made me laugh. I know I know that arm. That is the arm of the arm was looking good because it was so tense the arm looks great. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the. the. that. the the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the thi the bit's bits thi bits thi bits thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th know that arm. That is the arm of the bigger. Do you know what? The arm was looking good because it was so tense. The arm looks great. There's no, there's no comedy in the arm looking weak

or it just looks like a big strong arm. I tell you what, where there is the comedy, next time you look at it're like holding the top looks easy, looks very easy. Second one, he got two bubler fingers. It looks like you're holding on someone's hand as you fall off a cliff. Oh my God. The first scene in Cliffhanger. Yeah, okay we'll post that up but yeah you're happy. Yeah, we'll put. You the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to hold hold hold hold hold hold hold hold hold hold hold. top. topoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. topo. topo. topo. topo. topo. topo. top Yeah, the first scene in Cliffhagger. Yeah. Okay, we'll post that up, but yeah, you're happy. Yeah, we'll put both up because one looks a lot lighter to tell you about my brand new podcast coming next week.

Lights a Beach. This podcast is the escapism we all need right now. I sat down and chatted with some of my famous friends about everything travel. From caravanning in real to private jet into the Maldives, my guests spill the beans on their holiday horrors and dream destinations. Let's face it, we might not have the sun on our faces, but after a listen this this this this this this this this this this this the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, you' thi, you'll thi, you'll thi, you'll the beans on their holiday horrors and dream destinations. Let's face it, we might not have the sun on our faces, but after a listen to this, you'll definitely have a smile. First episode is the very funny, Romish Ranganathen. And coming out, we've got Robbie Williams, Jesse Ware and a Mum Lenny, Michael McIntyre, Rufus Wainwright, Rob Rinder, Jane Blunt, Dustin, Dust, Blac. Oh, fasten your seat seat, the seat, the seat, the seat, the seat, the seat, the seat, the seat, the seat, the seat, the seat, the seat, the seat, the seat, the seat, the seat, the seat, the seat, the seat, the the the the the the the the the sun, the sun, the sun, the sun, the sun, the sun, and the sun, and the sun, and the sun, and the sun, and the sun, and the sun, and the sun, and the sun, and the sun, and the sun, and the sun, and the sun, and the sun, and the sun, and the sun, and the sun, and the sun, and their, and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s'''s' th-s' th-s' th-s' thee, theinder, James Blunt, Dustin Lance Black, oh Barton your seat belts it's going to be a fantastic ride. We've had some good stuff, right, from our list.

Oh, the correspondence is, let's shut up a bit and get this correspondence out, because you guys, they've really gone up a notch. Oh, let's do this one first because it comes off the back. Many would say I did string out the bin anecdote too long if I say that's a good correspondence. There's a lot of people going through that kind of stuff and it needs a voice and I think the bin stuff's great. Don't get cautious about the bin stuff. thi thii tho and th and don't outside to go, right? This really made me laugh. This is from Sophie on Instagram. He said, hi guys, I love the podcast.

This isn't about the dummy fairy, but instead the buggy fairy. My daughter is ain't now, but when she was due to start school, I left it there for them to take in and resell and gave my daughter a gift in place of the buggy and said here's your gift we're giving the buggy to the buggy fairy I explained she was a big girl and the fairy had taken it to give to another child she was distraught but over it a few days later and on our way to nursery a few days later, we have to walk past Oxfam. I imagine my horror to see that the buggy was still set outside. Oh no. I tried to hurry her fast, but she spotted it and cried. I was half-tempted to grab it back, but it looked want anyone to think I was stealing a buggy for the charity job.

Why they're taking it in? Oh I don't, and have you got any tips of getting old, older, older and wanted toys, keep up the great work. I think outside your house if you live in a built-up area, it's the best way and with a sign on it that says, um, please free, please take. I think that's that's that's that's that's th that's the best way and with a sign on it that says, please free, please take. I think that's the best. I love giving stuff outside the house. Is it, I don't know if it's illegal. I hope it's not. But it's not thrilling because it just goes.

You think you can get obsessed with watching people take it. Oh yeah, well some people knocking. Oh yeah, some people knocking. You you you. you. you. you. you. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. thoooo. thi. thi. thooooooooooo. thoo. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thi. thi. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. thi. I thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo so yeah it's just take it yeah it's lovely actually isn't it I think so yeah yeah that that may be giggle I've got a do you want I've got I've got loads do me do a bit of an Instagram special Josh have you got one so you want to okay okay okay okay you know what on Friday um Friday before Surprise birth special before Jamelia, okay perfect. Right, here we go. But until then, here we go. This is hi Rob and Josh, please let me start off saying

I absolutely love you. Oh, this is weird. Rob a bit more because he's a slightly cooler. I mean that is a real low threshold. I'm seen as the cooler one, Josh. You live in East London, you have like like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to don't think I'm cooler. You live in East London you're cool you have like trendy stuff. Well the problem with East London mate is as much as it's cool it's the kind of edgy place where someone could steal your bin willy nilly so. Yeah. Willie? I mean also if you're cool you don't say willy nilly do you don't say willy nilly. Anyway So she loves both of us so that's the main thing here. Yeah. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the that's the the the the the the the the that's the the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the th. the. the. the. the. the. the. that's the. that's the. the have tried to hide this embarrassing moment from anyone for two years now in case the people who heard the moment may actually know me and I've only ever told one person due to trauma. This is a real confessional.

Tromar. From your podcast with Michael Sheen and stories of trying to use toilets when your children are of a different gender. Let me assure you when they are the same sex is still a nightmare. Let me elaborate. My daughter was about three years old. We were having a relatively crap day Christmas shopping. As you can imagine with a three-year-old, naturally she needed a toilet while we stood waiting to pay. When else could she need a piss, obviously? Still a bit of resentment, like it's a kid's fault.

Yeah, yeah, tree. I'm a Poundland kind of girl, so it's very out of my depth in the store. Luckily though, the toilets were right next to the tills so we could keep our place in the queue and didn't have to go far. Anyway, she went to the toilet, no drama. What? What, that's the cue. What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, so, th. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, the. the. the. the. the. the. th. the. the. th. the. the. the. the. th. the. said I'm just gonna take my daughter to the toilet and I'll be back. So that was because anyway. She went to the toilet, no drama, so I thought I'd do the same while while there there before the long drive home. It was the awful time of the month for a lady so there I am try and to distract her walth-in the ta to to the ta to the ta to to to their to to their to their toe toe their toe toe their. their. tap tap tap tapen. tapon. toe toe toe. the the toe. toe. tooombun. that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that I'm that I'm that I was. Some. Some. Some. Some. Some. Some. Some. Some. Somememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememeauauauauauauauauau. Some. Some. Some. thoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoe. th. thee. thee. thee. the. the. the. thee. So the. So thee. So I my gosh, mommy, why did you pull a dead mouse out of your nunny? Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh, I died.

Amazon did the rest of my Christmas shop and I didn't leave the house for two months. Don't worry, kids hate all adults, just dads that is you know and everyone would have heard that because I feel like I'm better at listening in a queue I'm always an earwig and what people are buying and doing and it's like there's something else going on I'd written off the shopping there's no way I'm coming back to that oh god also you don't need to be anonymous for that I don't you know you haven't done anything wrong you know you're around, you haven't, you actually uses dead mice as. Oh, okay, fair enough. Yeah, you do need to be kept anonymous for that. No, no, that she obviously doesn't

for legal reasons. Yeah, just to be very clear on that. It was a standard issue, uh, I don't want to get involved in what this lady, we're doing the Pomp-Jar now. Is it going all right? Yeah, great. We've gone too big. Yes, I said that to you. You sent me a picture of the Pomp-Jar. She doesn't seem to have noticed. Oh, so she's happy with that. We're plowing on. We're doing a slide in midpoint father Christmas threat, isn't it? The summer pom pom-pom jar payoff. Well, well done with that then, because ours is a bit more of a weekly thing, because my kids are insane like me. Dear Rob and Josh, I just need to tell you you've absolutely saved my evenings. The pom-p-pum jar of destiny, their PPJOD has been revolutionary. My four-year-old has flat out refused to let anyone put him to sleep for four years. In complete desperation, I thought, fuck it, I'll give it a go.

I negotiated a five-pomp-pob exchange to let his dad come to sleep. Oh my word, that exchange rate is appalling. It's a terrible exchange rate, but it got resolved. She was like the Brexit deal. She's out of the tha. It's tha. It's thiiiiiii. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I's thathea. I'm thoomathea. I'm thoom. I'm thoom. I'm. I'm thoom. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's thi. I's. I's. I's thi. I's. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I'm t t t t t t t t t t together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. t out of it, but she will have to pay dividends later. So it was the first time in four years I was able to have a glass of wine in front of the tele, without having to do bedtime. I could cry it's been that much of a game changer. Five pompoms though, mate.

He's got you, he knows exactly where he's got you. Five a night, bloody night that is without anything else out of night. Bloody Owl! Be slide by March! Robbie, alright, this is something else I've got clear, I said, Rob you deserve a knighthood for that tip. Thanks to saving a time, mom and thanks to an epic podcast, keeping us going through such bleak times. This, what would Rob Beckett do feature on the show? people are giving me shit saying I'm not I'm not an expert in child this is just my tips but what I need to say is anything with a good hit rate that works is a Louise Becket ideology so I think I don't we didn't come up with the PPJ no it was a

no Lou comes up with a PBO J D I don't know anyway anyway I don't know anyway PPP P Pee JOD, I don't know. Anyway, PB, P, P, P, P, P, P, P, J, O. D. Hi, have you been affected by P.P.O. J. O. D. Have you been off of five pomcombs in exchange of something that wasn't your fault? Anyway, no, so I think it needs to be like, what would Rob, rename it, maybe. What would Rob Beckett do under the instruction of Louise Watts. It's not as catchy a title, but it's only fair that Lou gets to respect she deserves because a lot of it is her, but I'm glad the pom-pom jar works.

That it's a great- Do you think Amazon are going, we're selling a lot of pom-poms and jars in the last week? What the hell ispom industry needs to fucking cough up. Do you reckon it's a lot, there's an industry for pom-pombs or just loads of individuals knocking out pom-pom? Yeah, I don't know if there's a pom-pombudsman. Yeah, I don't know if there's a pom-up and then you give out the awards of best sales person stuff like that. It's happening on Zoom now we used to go to the hotels all around the country and what I've realized is there's a Jeff Bezos of everything. There is a pom-pom guy. There'll be one person that makes the most

pompoms and is the best at pompoms and they'll be like sort of imitations. But that's what I've I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've that's what I've the th. I've th. I've that's what I've th. I've that's always always always always always always always always the the th. I've the. I've the. I've the. I've the. I've the. I've there's always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's always always always always always always always always always always always the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. I've the. I've theat's always someone someone I've the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. sales awards. This guy sold 564 cars in a year. 564 cars! Is that nearly two a day? Bloody how! Exactly, so there's probably a pom-pom guy out there. I don't know who. I'm just on the Wikipedia page for pom-poms, Rob. And they're pretty, yeah, it's pretty, yeah, it's pretty slim pickings here actually. Is it? There's no big guy. There's no pom-poom. There's no mention of who invented the pom-pom.

There's no, there's a lot of cheerleader stuff. That is not going in the jar. Where does a furry ball start and a pom-pom finish? Well, exactly, Rob. But just not to how Rob makes the girls laugh by putting them in the bath of their sucks on. If you want another bath their bath. Oh yeah, we've done this. Disco bath. Have you mentioned it before? Glow Sticks to the bath? Oh no, we've got a ball that lights up and then we turn the, you know it flashes, then we tu. We'll the the light the light the light the lights the lights the lights. the lights. the lights. the lights. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. th. to. to. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. turn the you know it flashes then we turn the lights off and do we call it rave bath we all take e as well which I can we're all smash on MDMA

yeah we meet in a field illegally for it as well being cute car part most nights yeah yeah glow sticks can take that upper level Josh yeah you can have go sticks just in the bath bobbing around in the dark yeah yeah that's good I've got some of these I've gone I've gone I th th th th th th th th th th the th th th th th th th th the th th th th th th th th the th th th th the th th th the th the the the the the the the the th th the the th the the the the the the the the th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th the the tou ty ty ty. ty. ty. ty. ty. ty. try ty. ty. ty. ty. thee. the the around in the dark. Yeah, that's good. And I've got some of these, I've gone on a deep die for some of these. What do you want? I've got school trip, Macy Gray or I-A-Sy-Gray. I'm not made a stone, mate. Okay. Hi, I love the podcast.

I've been, story about Macy Gray that the Ramsey's aren't taking. So if you would read it out. Yeah, not a problem Otto. Anyway, so love the podcast. I've been trying to catch up as I'm late to the party, currently on episode 52. I hope you are still doing Macy Gray stories. What was Macy Gray about? What was Macy Gray about? She had children, she had children. thahahahahahahahahahahahahah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, th. that, th. that, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, take a Macy Gray story. We'll always take a Macy Gray.

A friend of mine told me that he works for a guy who broke up his girlfriend and within a month started seeing someone. He soon found out his ex-girlfriend was pregnant. And then not long after he started seeing this new girl, he had a one-night stand pregnant. What? All the while tho- tho- thiiiiiwiiwiwiwiwiwi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi-n, thi- thi-n, thi-oom! thi-oom! thoom! thoom! thi-oom! thoom! thoom! told-a-s, told-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a, told-a, told-a, told-a told-a told-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s, tho, tho, tho, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, she she thi-s, she thi-s, she was to-s. to-s. to-s. to-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s. to-s, pregnant. What? All the while also impregnating the current girlfriend. No! What? So ended up having three children by three different women all born within five months of each other. Oh my fucking God. Okay so presumably dumped by the new girl as well. I mean we haven't got that we haven't got that. What we have here is though,

she says the Otto here that says a tale I called bullshit on immediately when my th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th th th th the th th th the th th th the th. th. th. th. No the th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No thu thu the. No th. No th. No th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No, thi. No, thi. the. the. the. the. theeeeeeeeeeeeee. theee. theeee thooooo. So, the the the got that. What we have here is though. She says the Otto here that says a tale I called bullshit on immediately when my friend told me this. Surely no one is that stupid. But the person telling me we've got an insider. It's that watergate. We've got evidence. It's one then web sluiffs. So the person telling the story does the payroll at the company and knows knows his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his the the payroll is his the payroll is his the payroll is his the payroll is his the payroll is his payroll is his payroll is his payroll is his payroll is his payroll is his payroll. He. He. He the payroll. Does his payroll. He's the payroll. He. He's the payroll. He. He. He. He's the payroll. He. He's the payroll. He's the payroll. He. He's the payroll. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. Does the pay the pay the pay the pay. Does the pay. Does the pay. Does the pay. Does the pay. the pay. the pay. the pay. the pay. the pay. the pay. the pay. the pay. the pay. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the company and knows his child maintenance situation. Oh my God! No, that is unbelievable! Oh my God! Oh my God, I imagine that bloat looking at his pay slip that month after the third was born. Obviously this is not a comparable situation, but I looked at my pay slip last month.

Do they do like repeats of last leg or something somewhere? Yeah. I got 13P for these repeats of last leg, Rob. Do you have a shit one, did you, in the episode? Is it based on jokes for a minute? 13P? 13P? Yeah, and imagine how many people have processed that for it to get to me. What country did you get the 13 P for what's it? I didn't know it just said like last leg

renumeration series 12 or something and it was like 13 P and I'm the amount of people that have dealt with the fact that I'm getting this 13 P and I'm going to have to pay fucking tax on it. And also your agent needs 20%. Yeah, exactly. My agent, Channel 4, the people who have sent the money to Channel 4, just, and then it comes to me and then I've got to pay HMRC, which I totally understand. Oh no, you're not ruling out. You're not angry about losing that 4P. I'm not angry. You understand it's for that it's it's it's it's that it's that it's the greater it's the greater it's that it's the greater it's that it's the greater it's the greater it's the greater it's the greater it's for the greater it's for the greater it's for the greater it's for the greater it's for the greater the greater the greater the greater that's that's for the greater the greater the greater the greater the greater the greater the greater the greater the greater the greater the greater the greater that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the greater the greater the greater the greater the greater the greater the greater the greater the greater the greater the greater the greater the greater the greater the greater the greater the greater the greater the greater the greater the greater the greater the greater the amount of taxing for the pay. I'm not angry about losing that 4P. I'm not angry.

You understand it's for the greater good, but it's just more the admin of it. It's got to be built. Kids can't go to school if I don't pay my tax. Oh, God. I think I've probably ate 13 p's worth of glue at school by accident just being on my fingers. Talking of school Josh, I've got an excellent school trip experience. I've got a couple, let's do two school trip ones to finish, okay? Okay, I think our school trip, this is from Samantha, I think our school trip... Pop- the Angel theme tune behind it, Michael. Let's have a bit of production on this. All right, I've got three school stories, let's do it. Let's get the production on it.

Okay. Okay. So talking to school trips, circa 1986. The school trip was to a local farm. Okay, we thought, oh, this would be great 'll learn about being farmers and, you know, see the animals and stuff. Anyway, it was, it was to a local farm to watch lambs having small elastic bands apply to their tails and genitals, so they would eventually drop off. This has to be up there with not only the worst school trip, but also the most mentally scarring. What science teacher ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever thia you you you you you you you ever thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to be to be to to be to see to see to see to see to see to see their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the thea. the thea. the thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. today. thea. to to see to see to see to see trip but also the most mentally scarring. What science teacher ever thought it was going to be either educational deemed a nice day out of the classroom? It is absolute madness. Are they insane? You sure they didn't just turn up on a day and then it happened to be that day?

Surely whack an elastic band on a lamb's knob could be done the next day. Sure I don't mean I don't he has to be done on the to be done the to be done to be done to be done to be done to be done to be done to be done the the to be done the the the to be done the next day. Sure, I don't mean, I don't think it has to be done on a survey. It's not the knob, Rob, it's the balls. The lamb's balls, not the knobs. I don't think it can be specific that. It's not like laying resin on your drive where it needs to be the right temperature. Wow. I mean, that is like horrible. Normally on the school trips you get a go, don't don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, the thi, the the thi, it, I the the their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, I th, I th, I th, I th thin, I thin, I don't thin, I don't thin, I don't thin, I don't thin, I don't thin, I don't thin, I don't thin, I don't thin, I don't the the the the the thin, I don't you? You know what I mean? Yeah. This one's good, this one is from Paris de Mateo. Oh wow, Dematio, D'Matteo. Anyway, I literally love the podcast, only found it last week's have desperately been binge listening since then. You had episode where you mentioned the most ridiculous things a child has made you do. This is a story about a ridiculous thing I did for my nephew. A couple years years th years th years th years th years th years years years years th years th years th years th years th years thi years th thi th th th thi th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tho tho tho th. I to to to to thi. I was told too, I too, I too, I too, too, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. This th. This th. This th. th. th. This th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. theoooooooooo. the. tooooooo. toooooooo. tooo. to to to to to the. This is a story about a ridiculous thing I did for my nephew. A couple years ago I was looking after my nephew for the night and take him to school the next day.

My nephew told me that he likes his grapes in his lunch box at school and that his mom pills him for him because he doesn't like the skin. Oh, who's the... I thought this is a bit extreme, but it's for one night I'll do it just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just that. it just so he goes to bed happy. So there I am spending an hour peeling 10 grapes. I mean I think you must have got the numbers wrong there because that is, you know, I'm the... Six minutes of grape? Tell me that how big of these grapes? Um, so spending an hour peeling grapes from my five-year-old, only for my sister to tell me the next day that she has never peeled a grape for him in his life. Amazing. That is a. That is great, that is an excellent trolling from a nephew to an auntie. How old was he five?

Five, I think they would have done that on purpose. My five-year-old's getting like that. She keeps nicking her iPad and taken it into bed so we go right, going to bed, and then the other night, She sneaked her iPad into her room. Oh, wow. Cheeky, isn't it? Yeah. She hasn't got a bin on her, actually. Right, last one, Josh, before we wrap up, another school trip one. This is from R underscore Roofie 14.

Hi, as a teacher, my worst school trip experience was to Hun Stanton, a couple of years ago. Our coach driver took the wrong to, toe, too, tod, too, too, too, the, too, the, too, too, too, the, the, too,took the wrong turn onto the A14, so we ended up going the wrong way. There were some wide glances exchanged between staff, but we assumed that the driver knew what he was doing. Forty-five minutes later, we realized that we were in fact driving in a huge loop, a huge loop, which had brought us right back to the school where we had started our journey. At this point, the children started to notice and shouts us, haven't we already driven through here? Started coming from the back of the bus. The head teacher, oh this is, oh God, this is sad but so funny. The head teacher then asked a coach driver if he did in fact know the way to the sea side.

At which point the driver burst into tears. What? He continued to cry until Peter Preservises. What? Here another teacher bought him a coffee and calmed him down. Having left school at 9 a year and we arrived in Hunstanton mid-afternoon and just about had time for some chips for getting back on the bus and heading out. Poor Sod. He's had a howl of the bloke and he's gone the wrong way. He's too scared to say anything and he's broken down. I mean, bless him. I've been there

before I've got lost. This was probably before Satnaves. Oh, oh my. How's the bus trip? We had a breakdown, not in the way you'd expect. Yeah, emotional, emotional rather than puncture. Poor sod. Oh my word. But I still don't think, maybe I. Maybe something else is going. Well, yeah, it's got something going on at home, hasn't there? I mean, if there isn't, good luck when something is. Poor sod. I got lost in Croydon once and cried and punch my steering

wheel and called myself all the swear words. I got trapped on a ring road. I get angry rather than sad in those situations though. Do you know what I mean? Yeah I'm angry in my, no, but I'm crying and angry, which I think is the worst combo in it. Yeah, I'd love to pull up alongside someone who's crying and angry. I've really enjoyed this Josh. It's been nice to catch up. Yeah, it's been an absolute pleasure, isn't it? Nice. It's been like it's been ages. Yeah, it does feel like that. And we've got Jamilia on Friday, a great episode. She's a big fan of the podcast, which was nice to have someone that's really open and really funny and also it's great when you talk to someone who's like talking about other episodes and you're like bloody hell you know more about this than I do man. Yeah and also her set-ups great as well.

She's got a like a young baby like a two-three-year-old. She's got a stepchild and she's got two like teenagedau so she claims to have had the worst, the worst top trump, the hardest top trump of parenting in lockdown. Yes. Which I think, I think, you know what, give it a listen and I think I'll make a right. That is a tough combo. Yeah, do you know what? Ellis James needs to buck his bloody ideas up. Exactly.

Wicked, right then, Josh, I'll see on Friday.