Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S03 EP10: Pat Sharp

Episode Date: August 13, 2021

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S PARENTING HELLS03 EP10: Pat SharpJoining us in the studio this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is a broadcasting legend. Presenter, DJ, once the owner and the most spectacular hair cut in showbiz and most importantly of all, host of iconic kids TV show Fun House. It's our absolute pleasure to welcome Pat Sharp to the show. Pat's brilliant book 'Re-run the Fun' is available now and we highly recommend it. Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks - Rob and Josh xxxIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Looking for a collaborator for your career, a strong ally to support your next level success, you will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue. York you.C.A. What does Possible sound like for your business? It's more cash on hand to grow with up to 55 interest-free days. Redefine possible with Business Platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and Commissions Apply. Visit MX. C.A.S.A.S.A.S.A.

to the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully, how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener with your tips, advice and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, their, their, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, tipe, their tri-a, their, their, their, their, can their, can their, their, their, their, their, tri-a, tri-a, trie, trie, trie, trie, tri, tri, tri, trie, trie, trie, trie, tip, tip, tip, their tip, their tip, tipes, trie, trie, tri-a, tri-a'''-a'-a'-a'iii., toe. to to to to to to to to to tri about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello you're listening to Parenting Hell with Josh Widdicken.

Josh Widdickum. And Rob Beckett. Rob Beckett. me. You are Josh Whitticom. No, because Josh Widdicum is. There we go. That is Elsie, who is three, and thinks she is Josh Widdicum. Oh, bless her. She's had a cute. Yeah, she was nice, wasn't she's that. th. th. And, th. th. th. And, th. th. And, th. th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, theck, Rob, Rob, thek, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, Robbettett. And, and, and, and, and, thek. And, thek. And, thek. And, the. And, th. And, th. And, Rob. And, Rob. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, Rob. And, th. And, th. And, Rob, th. And, th. And, Rob, Rob, Rob, th. And, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, theck. And, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, theck. And, Rob, Rob, Rob, theck. And, Rob, Rob, Rob, theck. And, who is three and thinks she is Josh Whitticum. Oh bless her she sounded cute yeah she was nice wasn't she what's her vibe what she up to

uh she's a daughter of Anthony and Tilly that's all we've got Tony and Tilly tiny and Tilly I don't think they're like tony Tilly no he was called Tony Tilly till he got together with some called Tilly and then he thought I'm going to have to go longer here aren't I? Yeah, Tony and Tilly are the kind of people you meet an all-inclusive. Well, they're in the caravan park? Tony and Tilly, yeah, that kind of vibe. They'd be from Lancaster, not Manchester. Not Manchester. Live out in the countryside a little bit. They go to Manchester for a big shop. Yeah, you know, if it's it's. they. they's. they's. they's. they's. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're they're they're they're they're they're in. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's they. It's they they they they they they they're they're they're they're th. It's they they they're they're they they're they're they're they're they're they're th. I th. It's th. Yeah. It's th. Yeah. I t. they just they just love Malaga. They've got there every year for 20 years. How are you, Rob? I'm alright actually. It's been busy.

It's been busy. But good, good. It's just a lot of, lots of children, isn't it, the summer holidays? So all those moments when you are in between work or meetings and stuff, you have a bit of quiet, there is a child so near your face. Yes. And I made the mistake of saying once, what is, what happened when they wanted something and I was trying to make them love me, love me, I said what are the rules in the summer

holidays? There are no rules, which the five-year-old has remembered like I said it every day for 10 years. There's got to be rules. It's got the rules, the rules, the to the the to be the the the to be the the the the the to be the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. I th. I thi. to thi-I to that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thee. the. threat. the. the the the the the the threat. the the. I the. I threat. I the. I the. I the. six weeks, Rob. I know, but I know that now. It's six weeks. I know that aren't rules. It's not the purge. The purge last 24 hours, Rob. It doesn't last six weeks. That's like that thing is there's a yes day in America where you just whatever your kids want to do, you say yes for 24 hours and it's right. And then it've done it for six weeks. Six weeks. Having so much sugar. Six weeks, Rob. Oh God. Also, I'm trying not drink, right? But then every day, about 11 a.m. I go, all I want is a cold pint. But you can't have that every day at 11 a.m. unless you're on a stag to. No, holiday. 11 a.m's all right, isn't it? that. My problem is if I have I have that that that that that that that th. If I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. You have the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. No, holiday 11 a.m. is all right, isn't it? Is it? No, it's not, is it? My problem is, if I have a drink in the day, you've got, you're such a lightweight though, Josh. No, but

the terrible light, the one pint, two pint, I just feel shit after that. Can you reset and feel fine? Do you know how stiff-neck, the comedy industry is, when like I'm knowing you that much was like yeah Josh is a bit of a drinker who likes a night out right and you used to like a night out when you were younger you like to night out and you'd be out boozing right and then I drunk with you you have four pints in your tripe and then I'm to try to to thrown you're to keep going getting and you've then you've to thin you you you you you you you you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've the you've the you've you've you've you've you've you've you've to to to to to to to to the the the to to to to to you've you've you but you've you've you've you but you've you've you've you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the to the to the the to to to the to to to to to the to to to to to the to to to the to the to to the the the the to the, back to zero. One, two, three, four, back to zero. I think working class people are just better at drinking. Oh, yeah, I think they are. Because the amount of middle class, comedy people that I've met, they go, yeah, like, I was, you know, I had a drink problem at 18. And I'm like, did you, did you, thii, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi. thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they. they. they. they, they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they're, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thr. thi. thi. thee. thi. thee. thi. thee. th. thee. thi. thi. th. thi. th. just, you're 18. You know those people and they go, I can't man, I had a problem at 18, I go, did you fuck?

You had a middle class problem at 18. What were you drinking at 18? When I was at 18, when I was at uni, yeah, so I was at uni at 18, I didn't used to get hangovers. I'd have like ten pints. I'd have like ten pines and half the half the half to to to to to have the to to have to the to the to the to the to thine thine thine thine the thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine. I'. I'd thine thine thine thine. I'd thine thine. I'd a problem the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem the the the the the problem the the the problem the the the the the the the the the the the thine. I'm thine. I'd thine. I used to before I go out I'd drink a bottle of I'd go and go to the same reason by the reduced bottle of white wine and I just drink the whole bottle of whiskey and that was before I went out. So I'd try and drink I'd probably drink about half a bottle of whiskey before I went out and then 10 pints is probably a lie I probably might have of caging but not very often but then would have like loads of just a the the to be a to to to the to to the to to be a to the to to be a to to be a the to be a to be a to be a the to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm to be a to be. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I's. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm the the the the the t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm probably probably t. I'm probably probably t. I'd probably probably t. I'd probably probably try. I'd probably probably try. I'd probably probably might might. I'm probably might. I'm loads of just loads of beer and then shots. But I can't remember what I was drinking because it was all like a quid and like watered down. I vividly remember one night when I went out to a place in Manchester called Fifth Avenue, which was a, and it like Tony and Tilly love it there.

No, they don't mate. It's a, it's a, it's a student, kind of student E indie club and on a Wednesday it'd be a quid for a vodka redbull Yeah, it wasn't red bull. It was like, you know, oh yeah, one to three go-go juice Yeah, yeah, exactly and I had 16 of them and I had 16 of them and then I was walking home and I went for a piss down an alleyway 16 16 of them I could tell because I was paying a pound of time and I had four quid left and and the the the they they they. and I was they. they. they. they. th. they. I was th. I was th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a thi thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi ell because I was paying a pound of time and I had four quid left. And then I went for piss down the alleyway and there was an empty bottle there and I remember pissing in that bottle and then the next day I was walking to uni and I walked past the alleyway and that bottle was like the yellow. The yellow of that bottle was like a color I've never seen in my life before was it. Baroque? Was it Barocca yellow? It was like it was something from the X-Men. It was like it was astonishing. That bottled water from Chernobyl.

Those were the days Rob. Those were the days. You could get away with that behavior, couldn't you? These days, I am. It's mad how different my life is these days in terms of I had a pint last night when I did the gig and I was like do I really need this or is this going to impact how I feel when I'm watching the Olympics at 555 tomorrow morning. You want to be clear-headed to watch that you know speedball running

where it's good. Exactly. I want to be able to concentrate on the climbing. The modern pentathlon doesn't watch itself. Exactly. All right, Josh, I've got this really good play date email and also you want to talk about party bags. We do party bags first. Well, we don't have to talk about party bags. I was just interesting to take on my party bags because I thought you'd absolutely destroy me for them. No. You've been so mean to yourself. I've wanted to hear about your party bags contain. Crayons? Yeah. Happy with that?

What is the bag? It is a rainbow-colored paper bag. Paper? Not plastic. Rob, this is the thing. I'm catering for East London parents here. No, you're not. You're catering for children that don't give a fuck about the environment. Mate, mate, mate, mate. There's no way I can I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I can th I can th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th give a fuck about the environment. Mate, mate, mate, mate. There's no way I can put a bottle of Oasis anywhere near these bags, mate.

What we did, we got canvas bags that had some felt tips attached, you could colour in the back. Oh my word. I mean, you've got me a chick. What I did is I went on Amazon, I looked what was on prime and that was these. So you got some crayons, crayons p pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom. I. I. I. I. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the, I the I the I the I the the the the the the the the there I can you've you've you've I can they the there there there I can there there. I can there you've got you've got you've got you've got you've got you've got you've got you've got you've got you've got you've got you've got you've got you've got you've got you've got you've got you've got you've got you've got you've got you've got you've got you've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've got. I've got. I've what was on prime and that was these. And then what, so you got some crayons in there? Crayons, pombeys. Pombas, that's fine. So what are you doing catering wise? Just what's in the, because the party bag, I thought you got given at the end, you do? With sweets and stuff in it. Yeah.

But you've put pombez in part. being part of the catering at that. The Pombez is just making up the numbers. It's just making up the numbers in the bag. What's the food at the event? What's the food at the event? What is 2 p.m. Rob? So everyone's going to have eaten. So up into three of these, they don't really cater them much. So we're just going to go sandwiches, cris, okay. That sounds fine. Yeah. I'm down with that. And then one of those those curled up fruit whip things that you see in the organic shops. Okay, so that's in the party bag. I knew it'd wind you up Rob. I think you need to rename the bag. The guilt box. The moment I ordered them I, Beckett is going to be livid. What's the paper bag look like? It's rainbow-colored. It looks like...

Oh, it's got a rainbow color. It's sort of like a brown, it looks like... it looks like a the kind of thing you put a brown, I'm like a cue toy. No, it's rainbow. It's a thin, it's a, thii' it's a thi, it's a thi, it's a thi, it's a thi, it's a thi, it's a thi, it's a thi, it's a thi, it's a, it's a thi, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a thrown, it's a, it's like, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's a. looks a bit like the kind of thing you put sweeten at the cinema. So what else should I put in my party bag off? Is that here? No? No, no, no. Jesus, fucking pombear. Sounds like you're having a clear out of your drawers. No, I'm going to go to the toy shop. I'm thinking stickers, tattoos, powerballs. Love it. I'm back in the game. I think their toys. I th. I'm th. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. the the th. th. the th. th. the th. the th. the the th. the the the the. the. the. the and the yo-yo's. I don't think you need to put the yo-yo's. I was that what they're called the wrongly thing is. But you've got to put some kind of sweeten

but I think... Put some fucking sweets in and I'm very there. I think you're going to get a lot of shit from the East London parents if you put some you know, like helium balloons, that are animals and tied little string around them and then they can walk them home. And they're weighed down. And that's all plastic and helium and elium's running out. But do you know what? Who cares? I mean, that's a great idea. I'm not going to be able to be able to be able to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, like, like, like, to, like, like, like, to, to, like, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, toda, toda, today, today, they, tie, the, tie, they, tie, they.o, they.y. Yeah, they. to take them to the park. That's like a sketch from a sitcom with them all blown about.

Yeah, I mean it's the only falls and horses one with the two inflatable women in the back of the cart. But they do love them. So we know what we did we had that canvas bag of canvas bag. We just put some bubbles in. in it and loads of bubbles are a winner I'm going to go bubbles. Especially at the park, bubbles is a winner and then we didn't put we didn't put a little bag of Harry Bow in and a slice of cake but nothing. Are you doing a cake? Yeah you'd been thrown out of Hackney the moment that Harrow boar was smelt Rob. You're not allowed Harry Bo. You'd be thrown across the border into Tower Hamlets. I got the Hallowe ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I got I got I got I got I got I got I got the hal, I got the hal, I got the hal, I got th. I got the hal- I got th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I'll got th. I'll got throw the hallow. I'll th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm a th th th th thin th th tho. I'm a thoooooo. th thoooooo. I'm th thoo. I'm a tho. I'm a th. I's like the veggie Percy pigs. I do like the veggie Percy pigs though. But yeah, so that... So you... But I don't think you should worry too much. Would you give your daughter Harry Bow? Yeah, of course. Exactly. So it cares. I like winding him, I like winding them up though. Yeah, Rob. Like all the parents. You love that, I just want them not to winding to winding to wind to wind to wind to wind to wind to wind to wind to wind to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi thi thiiii. thiiiiiiia. thia. thia. thia. thia. thia. their their their their their their You love that, mate. Yeah, love that. I just want to be popular.

I just want them not to remember me for getting a black cab to nursery. That's what I want, Rob. You want to be part of them, don't you? What I don't want to do is get out Monday morning. Get out of the black cab. Oh, God. the old sugar factory. We try to get kids to sleep actually. One of them's lost the two. We've got three, you know, three of them, they're still in bed. Stombains. You know what, I think that's all right. I don't think you need the pombears in a party bag. I think that's... No, I'll be honest with you. I'm already working their tho. I'm already working. I'm already working. I'm already working they they they they'. I'll they' they' they' they'll they're they're they're they're working. I'll they're working. I'll they're they're working. I'm already working. I'. I'm already working. I' they're they're they're they're already working. I' they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're still. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. they're still still still still still still they're still they're still they're still they're still they're still. they're still packing the bag. Just get some balloon, bubbles, sorry, and all that.

Are you going to have balloons? Is that perfect environment? I'll just go into the local toy shop. And I will be buying all of those extra little bits. The bubbles. The bubbles. The tattoos, I think the tattoos. I think the tissue at the park. But I suppose you're giving them at the end, aren't they?

That's fine. Okay, that's fine, yeah. Okay, cool. I think that sounds great. And have you got a balloon, a bubble guy come in? Well, it's a general entertainer. They do, they do a variety of different entertaining activities. Okay, fair enough. And, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I, that's, that's, that's, that's, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, that's. I. I. I, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, how long a three-hour party is it or no end time? Yeah, well it's I mean it's it's it's normally three hours You can't really tell someone when to leave a park. It's very difficult

You can't right it's finished now and they're going but we want to go the swings the party's finished I said at five leave now, but my daughter wants to go here. Are your pom bong. You've got crisps. the the the their their sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's go. Get out of it. Are your pombeys, fuck off. You've got crisps, now fuck off home. God, it's her birthday. But no, I don't think that's too bad. I think you're just sort of Josh panicking about the pombez, but I think that's good. Paper bag's better. I would go pie bag, it's very difficult to use it as a bag for life. You're not going to get many shopping trips out of that little pie bag.

No, I think paper is fun. I think sometimes structurally it's more sound. Exactly. Do you want this email email? Yeah, and then we'll bring on a guest. to bring on our guest. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. th. to thin thin thin. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the the the the. the the. the. the tip. tip. try. try. try. try. try. to try. to to try. to to to try. tip. right, okay, here we go. Nightmare playdate story. You've got to strap in for this. There's a lot to take in, but it's absolutely sensational. Okay, this is from Mahadji 85. Hi, Rob and Josh. Recently you spoke about play dates and I want to share a nightmare one we had.

We're living Shanghai and my husband with a lovely bloke made a friend with that made friends with that with a lovely blok made a friend with a lovely bloc like he went in double-anded to find someone we're living Shanghai and my husband made a friend with a lovely bloc after joining a local cycling club I am a oh S a stay at home mom is that like a mums net thing yeah I mean I'm a say-M, Start at home-up, to, I hope so, unless I'm at the, some, I'm a Sam. I'm a Sam, I'm a Sam, I'm a Sam, I'm a Sam, I'm a Sam, I'm a Sarm, I'm a to our four-year-old son. When you've newly arrived in a foreign city, the other couple have a daughter who is seven years old, which wasn't an ideal age gap, but we made it work.

So about five play dates deep, I invited them all over for a meal to our apartment, which is brand spanking new and is entirely white walls. Something was off the moment they arrived, if the wife arrived first, with the daughter, and the husband arriving some 30 minutes later. The daughter was being particularly naughty and clearly, and, and, and, to a a a to a to a to a to a to a toe, to, to, to, the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the husband arriving some 30 minutes later. The daughter was being particularly naughty and clearly didn't want to be an owl's playing babysit to our four-year-old because what seven and four is quite a big gap if they're not, sort of on the same wavelength. I noticed in our son's room that the paper lampshade had been written on with his name in clearly very advanced handwriting. I knew it must have been the seven-year-old, but seeing as I was, it was only on a paper lampshade and things are already tense, I didn't say anything.

So the next day I noticed my son's name has been written on the walls in several places, around the apartment and also on the white duvet in the guest room. As it's a service department, we were, we have the bedding changed once a week, so the maiden was being their their their their their, their, their, their, their were getting annoyed that the bedding was been daubed on and by now I was pretty peed off that their daughter had been so naughty so my frustration I messaged the other mom to say so sorry to write this but if my son done it I would absolutely want to know so I could fix it and make sure it doesn't happen again but I think your daughter the daughter the apartment anyway she messaged back saying, she messaged back only saying, send me a photo of what was written. That was it, Josh. Oh my word. No, you know, no present tree. It's

just a... Oh, I just cut and run at that point. I immediately, well, this lady has not cut and run. She's in deep. I immediately knew she was going to deny that a daughter has done it. I was right. She, she messaged me back. My daughter says it wasn't her. Your son must be more advanced and he's letting on. So now she's accusing the four-year-old of lying and being more advanced. Oh my word. And so the lady said yes, my four-year-old son who can barely brush his own teeth has been hiding from us and his school teachers that in fact he has to hand, he is a handwriton savant who could apparently write at exactly the same wall height as a tall seven-year-old. Oh. Oh.

So, you know, she's angry now. Yeah, so we message back and forth and I refuse to accept that it was my son as he can't write his name and finally the mother sends me a handwriting analysis. A home analysis! That she's had done by her own company employee who is qualified in handwrite analysis as proof once and for all that it was my son and not her daughter. Needless to say, that is insane. Absolutely manic. Also that is that is not a fair person to go to. No also as well you can, even in a year of my daughter being at school from four now she's, you know, four and a half, her writing has improved dramatically. So another three years, it's going to be, because it's kids in her class, I can write, like, it looks amazing.

Anyway, so need is to say, I decided, while I was being a bit of a Karen sending the text in the first place, this woman certainly doubled up on the craze and totally over-reacted to prove her child was not a total brat. Insane. And I couldn't message her back to tell her she was nuts because she blocked me. She blocks her! There's a five-date in, there's five play dates, say that. Oh my God. This is insane. We've had a few... Just do the zoo. Just do the zoo. You love the five hours at the zoo. But you can't believe how long... Because you're a big park guy, aren't you, Josh? No, I'm not... You're over the part now. The park is repetitive, Rob. It is repetitive. But where you are, it's great if you want, you know, a fancy cocktail, in a locally sourced pub, but there's not those to do for kids.

You have to travel a bit farther. Well, I don't know what your kids are doing in your local area. Air jump? Air jump? Air jump? Five minute drive, trampullini. What's air jump? to the, trampoline

pop. We've not been to Westfield, it's got three escalators. Yeah, but we've got blue or what? We've got to go ape, mate. You hate go ape. You think it's too much money for climbing on ropes. But I'm just saying, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, but, I've tho, but, but, I've tho, but, I've not, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, I've not, I've not, but, I've not, I've not, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, I not, I've not, I've not, I've not, I've not, I've not, I've not, I've not. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. th. to to to to th. to to to to to to to to to to not fall out over this. This is a very, no, a great work relationship we've got. But I'm just saying, Victoria Park is a great park. I'm going to block you. I'm going to block you.

That's the only way this can end. And your daughter's been writing her name on my waltz. But no. But no, but the zoo, the zoo, the zoo, the zoo, the zoo, the zoo, the zoo, the zoo, the zoo, the zoo, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I, I'm, I'm. I'm, I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I. I. I, I. I. I. I, I. I. I. I, I. I. I, I, I. I, I. I. I, I, I, I th. I th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm that. And I'm happy you had five hours here. Yeah, I would you have confronted the woman? I probably just wouldn't even invite them around again. I sort of think what you're getting out of it. One, just paint it white. Kids write on walls. My daughter wrote a name on the wall 20 times.

It just happens. The kids being seven and being a naughty. I'm just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, the them out. I'm not a big confrontation. Let's have it out type person. I'll just just sort of bidden someone off. Yeah, much easier. Much easier. Anyway, listen next week where me and Ellis James will be hosting parents in him. Who have we got to die? We have got an absolute banger of a guest Josh. And I feel like, since you've written a book about TV in the 90s, it's only fair that you introduce this guy. We should also mention that he's that he th. Just. Just. Just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, th, just, just, just, just, th, to to to to, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, just, just, just, just, just, th, th, just, just, just, just, just, just, th, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, thi, just, just, thi, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, written a book about TV in the 90s, it's only fair that you introduce this guy. We should also mention that he's got a book out called Rerun the Fun. If I mean, they know, they know who it is because in the episode title is Pat Sharp. So there's a certain demographic who are going to listen to this that are probably going to be more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more excited more to be more excited more to be more to be more excited more excited more to be more excited more to be more excited more to be more excited more the to be more excited more excited more excited to be more excited to be more excited to be more excited to be more excited about than to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to be more to be more to be more to be more to be to be to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the any other guest we have. I'd say as well he exceeds expectations

where sometimes you get like a legend of the 90s and they're a bit quiet and a bit boring. He's got loads of banner. Oh, it's great. I loved him. This is Pat Sharp. Hello, Pat's sharp. I was going to try and do it's Friday afternoon. Get ready for the week. Pat, do you want to do the intro to this one it feels like you're the you're the most you know qualified to start a podcast in an upbeat manner here we go here we go you'll like this Friday afternoon even if it's not welcome to the weekend this is where it starts with the Parenting Hell podcast starring Pat that's a lot of peas This is where it starts with the Parenting Hell Podcast, starring Pat. That's a lot of peas.

That's incredible. That is, is that just experience or did you learn that somewhere? I just learned to joc it, Rob, really. I just jocke it. I went to America on a skateboard when I was 19 and listened to the radio and came back and turned up the echo at Capitol and from the top of the tower we're......... to. to. to. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. to. to. to. that's a. that's a. that's a. that's. to. that's a. that's a. that's. that's. that's. It's. that's. It's. that's. to. the. It's. to. the. the. It. It. It's. It. It's. It. It's. It's. It's. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that of the towar we're smashing the tunes. That's so true it is an American style actually because you do it a bit more delicately it doesn't seem like American. I got a bit so I've chilled out a bit now that I'm on Greatest Hits Radio so I'm more laid back but but still upbeat but when I was 25 it was like you know people you to to say, I loved that, what you did, but I didn't get it. What was it all about?

You know, what did you say? Just energy, but that's the thing though, it's like having that energy. I think energy is good for anything you do, including like work or being a parent. It's when you're knackered, you can't do it. What's your set up now? You've got grown-up kids? Yep, we have three kids and we have two grandchildren and one more coming. So yeah. Oh wow, grandkids. So what ages are your kids and the grandkids? Um, Daniel is 31, Charlotte's 29, Nicky's 34, and our grandkids are two and one month or five weeks.

Yeah. And another one due in September. How has it been a granddad? Oh, it's great. Yeah, it's really good. We have beautiful, beautiful granddaughter, and another granddaughter on the way. And I love it. I mean, I love being called grandpa. And I like being young enough to sort of, you know, not look like a grandpa. I see some, some of the dads out and I think, wow, you must be a grandpa too and they go, no, no, no, that's my kid, not my grandson. So... Those ones always look so tired, don't they? You know, they're a bit older and they're just fucked. Absolutely naked. I see him in the park and I'm running around and I'm just going to to to to to thininininin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thi' thi' that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin running around and I'm just going to turn 60 in there like, now, give us a break.

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They can't wait another year. If the forward government, it's time to change the government. Our kids are counting on us. Join us at building better schools.c.a. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. Do you do, do you get called on to do a lot of grandpa-based babysitting? We do and we love it because to be honest with you, you know, one of our grandchildren, our oldest one, the two-year-old, he's actually in America, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, their, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,, Kaya, our oldest one, the two-year-old, is actually in America because our son lives in New York with his wife and they're there, so we don't see them all the time, especially with what's been going on.

So when we get called to babysit our five-week-old one, we're there and we often don't want to way as well. Yeah but that's another one in America so I need the British kids to really well they're all British but I need the ones who live here to really you know slap into it and get a few more kids here. So and with them having grown up kids you know this is not a good tip for life I'd say but some people have said to me that you know when they're grown up it's just you're just worrying about them in a different way do you find like what's it like being the parent of grown up kids well it's really thinking about them is it dominating your life in the way it did when they were children it doesn't dominate your life Josh but you

are absolutely right you're never going to stop worrying about your kids and you're never going to stop lending the money and getting them to start on the property ladder and just you know just being there to help them I suppose and you'll always do that because they are your kids so anything you think that you guys are spending now believe me it never ends it just keeps on going oh god oh no that's not what I want to hear Pat. Well, it gets bigger. I mean, the sums get bigger, then. The deposit on a house is not

exactly, you know, a train set, is it? Do you feel like, was you working loads or was you off work when the kids were small? Did you see a lot of them or was it a bit tight? You were all over the place and telia imagine when they were younger? Yeah, I was working a lot and I still am to this day to pay for the extra bits that I just mentioned. So therefore it never stops. But I did see them a lot. I was a pretty good hands-on dad and I think my mrs would agree with that and I loved it. I mean I took Nicky when Nicky was a kid he was very funny because he was probably say two or three years old probably three or four maybe and we would go to sort of Chessing the world of adventures and then someone would come up and they would obviously were no selfies in those days because then nobody had a camera so they would say can I get your autograph and you'd say well I've got a pen and the the top. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I'm I've I've I've I've I'm I've I've I've I'm I'm I'm I've got I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I've I'm I've I'm I've I've I've I've I'm the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th to to to th to go I'm to go I'm got to go I'm got to go go I'm got to go I'm got to go I'm got to go I'm to to the the the'd do one and then another person would come along and they'd get your autograph and then a big

line would start and by the time you got to the end of the line there be people going yeah can I get your autograph I go sure what's your name and they went yeah what's your and I went well why do you want why do you want to why they go they go well because everyone else they the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th everyone else everyone else everyone else everyone else everyone else everyone else everyone else else else else else else else else else else else their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to. to. tog. tog. tog. their their their their their their their their their their their their their the obviously about a foot tall, or maybe too far, I don't know, how I remember how big kids are anymore, but he was a little boy, and he would be tugging at my trousers. And he got so used to hearing people saying my name that he said, for goodness, St. Pat Sharp, hurry up! He goes, I want to go on the rides. Oh, and that was how he grew up. He grew up calling me Pat Sharp because of people going, Pat Sharp. So I never got called Dad, I was just Pat Sharp to Nicky and he's 34 now, but now he calls me dad so thank heavens for that. Oh, that's nice, eventually. As a kind of celebrity in that

world, did you like, when you're going to Chessington World Adventure, are you queinguing in those situations or has the family got special perks? Well, we did have some moments where they, you're going to think this is really pretentious and your listeners are going to go, what a dick. But they closed the theme park for us and we got in either early or late like Tom Cruise. Yeah. At one point, Pat, I would say you was one of the most famous TV presenters in the country, easily. Well, kids TV, you know, yeah, I never really need. Yeah, but then I think actually kids TV makes you mega famous because they grow up with

you and then they see you on other things. So it's like they've all seen you and there's a different, find. You've summed that up Rob. There's an amazing and affinity with kids TV presenters because I can go into a room where there's somebody of say, you know, your guy's age and there's Graham Norton and the person who's coming over will probably come up to me as a kids TV presenter before they go to Graham Norton because it's part of their childhood. Yeah. They remember you from they remember their their their their their childhood. Yeah. They remember you from a time when they didn't have, you know, relationship, mortgage, rent, this, that job worries and everything else. They just remember chucking down their school bag on a Friday afternoon and, you know,

and watching me and the twins and some bright colors and a bit of gunda. What's not to like? What age were your kids when all that was going on? Were they they they they they they they they they they they they they their their their their their their their their their their their their to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be tooom. I. I. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I. I. I was. I. I. I was. I. I. I was. I. I. I. I was to. I. I. I was to. I was to. I was to. to. to. to. to. to. tha. tha. tha. toda. toda. today. toda. It. It was just just just just just just just just just just. I'm just just just. I'm just just justa. I'm just just just justa. I was just just justa. I was t? Were they fans of the show? Are they too young or too old? I can't be what the timeline. Nicky was spot on, our eldest son he was about the right age and a little bit younger than the contestants. They were around about 12 or 13 and it was probably about it started. Nicky was born in 86, the show started in 89. So by the time the show was sort of 93, 94, he was he was a prime candidate fan. He used to come to some of the recordings and we we made Funhouse the whole series for each year was made him one week at Scottish television. Really? Yeah so we would go for seven days I'd take the time off capital and then for seven days we would go to Scotland and we would do one in the morning one in the afternoon two times seven is 14 series done for a whole th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. th. to th. th. th. th. to to th. to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the th. So th. So th. So th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, the the the th. th. So, the the th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. the. the. the. thoooooooooooooo. the the the the the the afternoon, two times seven is 14 series done for a whole year.

So I've only ever spent ten weeks of my life doing Funhouse. It's mad, isn't it, isn't it mad? Isn't it mad? Isn't it mad? Because I, you know, I mentioned this when I last spoke to Josh and I said to him that, you know, people will come up to me and to me and to me and to me and to to be, to be, to be, to be, their, their, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, and tho, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo..... And, tha and I said to him that, you know, people will come up to me and say in a Burley voice a great big guy at a DJ set and go, you made my childhood. And I'm going, well that's just as well, isn't it? And you know, and you think about it, that people come up and also say to me, not my name, they're just looking at me and go, Funhouse. I mean, the best story, the best the best the best the best the best the best the best tha, thau. The best that I've that's that's that's that's that's th. The best that's that's that's that's that's that's th. that's th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. I's the. I'll. I'll the. I'll the. I'll. I'll. I'll the. I'll. I'll. th. the. I'll. I'll. th. I'll. I'll. th. th. I mean the best story the best story I've ever got that one was at the Nordoff Robbins Music Awards lunch in about early 2000s and Posh was there as in Victoria Beckham and with David and they were sitting at a table and

they had people around them so that people couldn't go up to them because they were sort of the flavor of the month at the time and they didn't want everybody coming up to them and their and their their their. their. to their. to to to to to to to to to to to to their. to to the flavor of the month at the time and they didn't want everybody coming up to them and they couldn't eat their lunch and blah blah blah. So at one point I sort of glanced over and she smiled, which she doesn't do a lot as you know, and she wagged her finger in a way to say, beckon you over like this and I thought. Oh, okay. I went over. Hi, I just want to say that I heard I heard I heard I heard I heard Ito fly and it was so nice you were so kind about me and you weren't rude

about me or David or anything like that. It was just really nice and David was in the bathroom and he and he heard it as well and while she was saying all this to me I just focused on her eyes and he was grinning and leaning over her shoulder looking at me just smiling. So I then looked look around and I went, oh that's great, who's your friend? And she said, oh that's my husband David and I went, oh right, yeah, and he was obviously the England captain at the time and you know probably equally as famous as he is now and and he looked at me and literally in his voice he just went, Funhouse. And I went, yes it is, David. It is, it is, fun house.

So growing up things, did your kids love it and they were like proud that their dad was doing fun house and all the kids knew who you were, or is it a little bit of a bore for them and a bit tiresome? I wonder, I don't know, I've never really asked them. I think they just think that that's what I did and that's what it was. You know, I lived in a funhouse with these two cheerleaders, you know, a couple of blonde twins and my wife didn't mind.'s the standard one that I'm sure you know is coming, literally, and they just say, you know, people go at a gig, they'll just say, like, yeah, so, Shag the Twins? I go, well, I just, I've given up denying, so I just go, I just go, yes and they're

mother. And they go, oh yeah, good on you, mate, yeah, I can't blame, I that, I that, I 't blame you to that. I'm like you great. It's amazing. That is sometimes easier just to just let people have what they want to hear when it was people go, I think you went to school with my husband. I'm like alright and they show me a photo of him I'm like well he didn't look he wasn't a 45 year old father of two at school school and I used to go I don't remember now I know him even I know the amount the amount the amount the amount the amount the amount the amount the amount the amount the amount the amount the amount the amount the amount the amount the amount the amount the Even though I got, no, I, the other people I've agreed I went to school with. Yes. And, and I get the people who lie as well, they go, yeah, I was on Fun House and class in 92,

you know, and I go, oh right, yeah. Yeah, how was it, being left in charge of, you were apparent at the start of it obviously, but you kind of, you're in charge of all these kids on Fun House. What was it like relating to those kids that were on TV? Did you feel like you were having to look after them as much as presenting TV show? Well, they had people who looked after them obviously when, you know, between sort of the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the th. the the the the the thii.. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. t. thi. thi. te. te. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. Wee. toe............ Wee................................ toe............ twee. twee. twee. twee. twee. twee. twee. t. t. t. t. t. It. It's. It's. t.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e..e....e. to.e.e.e. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was they had shaperones, they had people who looked after them obviously when you know between sort of the shots and obviously the twins were also given the main job so you know

Martina being yellow not green and Melanie being red not green would look after their respective twins and I would just sort of stroll into to give them the money shots you know as in hey 25 points. Well you say respective twins were all the guests' twins? No, no, not the guests, the cheerleaders. Yeah, I knew they were the twins. Yeah, sorry. Oh, wrong.

Oh, wrong. I didn't know that. It was also on that differently. That's very good, very good. I'm just like I didn't know that. That's so hard to cast them all. Series 14, there's got to be some more twins somewhere. I've got two of a triplic. Can we have them in? Surely they look so different? And they look so different. Oh, so, they're look so, they look so, they look so, they look so, th th th th. And th th th. And th th. And th. And th th. And thi thi, I thi, I thi, I th. th th th th. I th that's that's that's so, I that's that's so, I didn't that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I thi. I that's been so that's been so that's that's mishear that. I mean, when you're dropping your kids at school and stuff, right? So, and you're on the most, how many people are watching Fun House at this point? Do we know? Oh, did you, well, crazy figures, seven or eight million sometimes ten?

Wow. Yeah, yeah, five to five on a Friday afternoon. Yeah, that's amazing. So when you're turning up at school to drop your children off at school, that must have been like pretty exciting for all the other kids there, right? Unless Dave Benson Phillips' kids are also going there. Well, he didn't have any kids until he was quite a bit older than me, so I had a head start on him with the gunj and the kids. But I think... Oh, did he nick the gunn you? Well, it was... Who was the gunned originator? Well, do you know what? When Dick and Dom did their final Saturday morning show on the

Beeb a good few years ago, they had me on and I was a guest as the Godfather of Gunn, so I think I says it all. Yeah. See you in court, David Benson Phillips. It's official, but I would go to school and Josh mentioned that we would drive our kids to school because it was a bit far away and then one day it would be me and my wife and the next day some friends of ours and obviously there would be their kids and it was a rotter. And a guy called Darren Richmond, who was, ironically, this is worth a mention here, a quick plug on your podcast, the co-author of my book Rerun the Fun, which came out last year and isn't out in paperback until October, but it's well worth a buy. I'm definitely by the book. Rerun the Fun, Rob, let's see. I'm 100% buying that for people

for Christmas and I say that as someone who's written a book about the 90s. I feel like I've been completely actually somebody knows about the 90s has written a book as well so I feel don't buy mine buy Pat's. Yeah but mine is a thin is a spoof memoir it says on the front cover based on an untrue story so you have to get into it and judge which bits are the true and which bits aren't but it's a lot it's a it's a th I I I I I I I I I I I I th I th I th is is a th is a th is a th is a th is a th is a th is a th is a th is a th is a th is a th is a th. It's thrown. It's th. It's thrown. It's thrown. It's thrown. thrown. th. th. th. thrown. thrown. thrown. thi. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. that's the. to that's why we call it rerun the fun. It's got amazing reviews as well. It has no it really has it did really well. Yeah from GQ you're relieved from the dumpster fighters 2020 hilarious Racey and largely untrue the Guardian yeah you smashed it look at this. Thanks mate but this is Darren and Luke the main writers I just contributed and thrown the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoee. thoe. thoe. thoe. thoe. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's. It's the. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. I the. I the. I the. It's the. It's the. It's t. It's t. It's te. It's te. It's te. It's te. It's te. I's te. I's toda. I's te. I's te. I's today. sat in the back of my car with my boys and our daughter and his brother on the way to school it's a very

big car and we we used to take the kids and you know my kids would get out say thanks daddy bubbye have a good day bye but he never said thank you never said a word Darren every time I looked in the mirror and the look back at the traffic or whatever was going on I'd see his eyes looking at me like Damian from the movie The Omen. So who's this your friend's son? Yeah, who 30 years later comes to me and says, oh I want to write a book on Funhouse, it was my favorite show. And I never said thank you because you, you know, you were driving me to school and you were the guy hosted Funhouse and I was a bit over enamored with it all. So that's why and so we did the book together with another guy

you know called Josh that was good. So that's so you used to drive him to school and then you end up writing a book with him but he was too nervous to say thank you. Yeah that's exactly it and literally he came to me thirty th 30 th 30 he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he to he to to to he he to he to to he he to he he to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the book. the the the the the that's that's that's the to to of newspapers and he's a, you know, quite a prolific theatre guy and does various different things with comedy and he loves you guys. When I told him I was speaking to you guys, he's a huge fan. So they... Oh, thank you. Oh, well, I would say thank you, but I'm a little bit nervous.

Well, come back to me in three decades and it'll be fine. With the grandkids now, do you notice like how different it was when your kids were that young? With your, you know, your children, is there many big differences of like what happens with like babies now to 30 odd years ago? Oh my goodness, I'm so pleased you brought this up. Apparently babies can't have water till they're about 37 now and and you can't put them on their side for more than four seconds and then you can't do this. I mean our kids were gnawing the side of their cot and eating the paint and they were drinking out of a hose pipe and I never, and I took Nikki I mentioned this early and forgot to say because I got got sidetracked

when he was about three or four years old I took him to see deaf leopard and Eric Clapton in the same night I mean can you imagine someone doing that now they go oh no you couldn't possibly do that please put the please put the ear defenders on the the air defenders the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the air defenders the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thea. their their. their. their. their. their. to California. We went from San Francisco to LA on the US 101 and then into Vegas. And he was only a kid and you know, I was teaching him out and go, swing, swing, because Rainsworld was out, you know, so we were having the best time.

Things have changed, apparently. You can't do any of that stuff. Well you're, do your kids tell you off them for doing it wrong when you're looking off, like holding the baby and things like that? They do, they do. They really do and I have to ask, I go, oh is it okay? Oh, is it okay? Can I pick her up? Yeah, is that all right?

Can I'm up? to nap time. And I go, oh, maybe do it at 10-2 or would that break the whole thing? You know, nope, no, gotta go. It must have gottogether. It must be so hard though, you know, your grandchild being away, because it's, you know, if the only two years old it lockdown must have started when when it was like six months old or something. Yeah exactly right most of her life Kais her name most of her life has been in lockdown but we have been able to see her a couple of times, because she has to have obviously people with her to travel and so therefore our son and his

wife are English are able to bring her backwards and forward from the States, whereas we can't go to the States. So that's quite good. Oh, that's works well. Yeah, we have seen her. And you know, they face time us and stuff. So we see her every day and in the park or in the bath, or whatever.

And she knows us well enough now from seeing times, that even on FaceTime it works. So that's an amazing thing to have these days if you've got kids far away or grandkids. Going through the teenage years of your children, what was that like? Because me and Rob, like, we present this podcast from the position of people that only really understand the first few years of parenting. How tough was kids being that awful. I do remember, what, I have to say, they did all try and leave home with like a knapsack at one point, so they kind of like, you know, I'm going to find my fortune and they went off like Dick Whittington and just went, you know, I go, where are you going to, I'll go, where you're going to, I'll go, oh, I'll to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, th. I'll, I'll, th. I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, th...... I'll, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they they they they they they did, they they they did, they they did, they they did, they, they did, they they did all, they did all, they did all, you know, maybe that perhaps that won't work.

They go, and then 10 minutes later, they were a bit hungry and came back. So yeah, you know, you're going to get issues, but I don't remember them being that bad. They've always been good kids and that's due to our fine parenting skills. Are you the disciplinary or was, she likes to shout a bit. When they were kids, I know you get asked a lot about your hair, Pat, and I do apologize for that. How did you manage to get the hair question into a podcast about kids?

Did they grow, were they born with a mullet? Ha ha haunt. I can see the mullet, the mullet's coming through first. When you're taking your kids for the hair cut part and you've got the mullet. Did any of them, did it give the mullet to any of your children when they were growing up? Nicky had quite a long hair when he was a kid, it was just, we just let it grow and it wasn't ridiculous, Mullet style, but it was sort of that pudding bowl haircut, you know, where it sort of just like goes over the eyes a bit and you can't see where you're going like a dog. And it wasn't fair on him because he bumped into everybody at chasing the world of adventures when he was trying to get me to go on the rides. And I think that, you know, you can't can't you, you can't you, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you, you, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, th. the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the. the. the. the. to, to, to, to, to, to, the. to, the. the. the. the. the. is no fun for anyone. So I think no, they just had normal regular hairstyles and they're normal regular kids who've

grown up into normal regular adults, so it's all good. Have any of them followed you into show business? Absolutely not. No, Nicky in America, he's in IT recruitment and Charlotte's a makeup artist and Daniel works with my production company? So at the end of the day, no, they haven't not. Well, I mean, working with the production companies, you know, we do jingles and music imaging and commercial production and stuff like that. So that's similar, but I don't think any of them have any wish to jump on a stage and to the stage and say, welcome to the weekend. their today. their. tham. tham. them. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. thate. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. the. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the stage and cover children in gun. Yeah, can you imagine that? Yeah, I think I was writing a BMX onto a TV show, age 28, which was just really odd. And in BMX bright clothing as well.

It's an amazing kind of thing to have happened to you that you were such a kind of big deal during your child, on children's TV, during your children's kind of childhood. I've said the word child too many times in that sentence, it was very clumsy. I was looking for variant words and I couldn't come up with one. Did you, a kid, thank you, blimey. I've got a baby, I'm very tired Pat. Very tired indeed. Did you realize at the time what a kind of exciting thing to be involved in it was Funhouse? I don't think you do at the time. I mean do you realize when you guys are on the tele, that what you're doing is being seen by loads of people and everybody loves you? I mean, you know, Not on TV anymore, Pat. We dream of eight million. We dream of eight million. No, but I think you just go to work

and do last leg now, Josh, but in years to come, last leg, you know, a huge show and in my, especially around the Paralympics, it made such a difference. It's like the kind of thing you don't really appreciate it until you stop doing it, I th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. th. th. the. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th., I think I've certainly, and you must have this with Rob and Romish where like you're sat there, like when you're nominated for a BAFTA or when you're turn on the skybox and it says Rob and Romesh is the main thing. Just part of, I'm always going try and remember this, try and enjoy this, all that kind of stuff, were you doing that with Fun House? No, you really weren't. You treated it as your job and you went and did your job and you did it to your best of your ability but you didn't realize that in all these years to come you know you would be called a cults by people. I think

that's really what. I hear it all the time from like car windows. Hey! Go! And with your like grown-up kids now, is it difficult as a grandparent to, you say that like parenting is very different now and all that kind of stuff, I don't know if I'd find it easy to just let them do it in their own way completely without offering advice or without going, oh do you know I did it, like, do you find you have to sit back or do you, are you an interferer? I find that it's probably better to sit back th and just th and just it with it with it with it with it with it with it with it with it with it with it with it with th have to sit back or do you, are you an interferer? I find that it's probably better to sit back and just discuss it with your partner, your

wife, your husband, because the kids who now have the kids, i.e., you guys, compared to say, your parents are going to be the people who are running the show and you're reading things, you're going to classes, you're doing thinn. they th. And thi th. And, thi, th. And, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. thi. thin. th. th. th. th. th. thin. thin. thin. thi. toe. to. to. to. to. too, to. to. to. to. to. to just, to just, to just, to just, to just, to just, to just, to discuss, to discuss, to just, to be to be to be to be to. I I. I. I. I. I. to. I. to. to. to. to. to. to. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. the too. the the too. the too. too. too. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to classes, you're doing things online and things are done differently and everything has a safety aspect now health and safety is prominent these days and we didn't know about a lot of stuff but I had no idea that kids now honestly cannot have water till a certain age and yet our kids have water they were thirsty so they had some water when they were babies but apparently you cannot give a baby water the car seats the car seats have you dealt with your five-week-old car seat yet?

Absolutely, I mean, no offense, I cannot get that out now for the life of me. Yeah, I don't know. That's there forever, Pat. And there's a thing, you have to turn it around as well at an angle. It swings round like the girl in the exorcist, her head, and I go, whoa! What's going on? And, you, you, you, you, I the the the the their, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I, I, I, I don't, I, I, I, I, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, what, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what? What. What, what? What, what? What, what? What, what? What, what? the that, what? that, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what's. I'm. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. th. the does all that stuff and then we just call our kids and get them to do it because we can't. Yeah, the ice are fixed, the level of safety in the ice are fixed. It's like they're going up to space. It's like an astronaut's chair. The green and the red bits as well and you're like, is that a Amber, what's that safe enough? Do you mean, Amber? It's not the red or green, surely, with a seatbelt.

Do you feel completely confident, like, have you got with a baby, like, do you have the same confidence with a baby that you kind of got when you're in your 20s and 30s when you had children? Like, does that stay with you or do you feel like like riding a but like riding your BMX Pat? No one ever forgets how to ride a PMX. Well I never had a BMX I wanted a rally chopper when I was a kid and I got an Ellswick hopper with a basket on the front so I was not the most popular kid in school but with our grandchildren you are much more aware my wife you saying don't do that, follow her up the slide, follow her up the slide, stand on the top, and I'm going, for goodness, it's a kid, we did this with our kids, she's going to

nobody can't. And then she realizes that we have turned into our parents the way they used to talk to us. That's all it is. We're just really, really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really their their thre thre thi thi thi thi thi thi thi their thi their their their their their their to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their to be careful. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to. tip. tip. tip. to. to. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. toooo. to. to. to. to., you know, they give you their kids and then you take them out for the day and you come back and they've got a, you know, a cut or a bruise. You know, yeah. Oh, that's not for us. We want a very safe day. We might just keep them in the car scene. So we couldn't get out. Just stuck in there. Yeah, no risk at all. No risk at all. Just just. Just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just. their, just. their, just. their, just. their, just. their. their. their. their. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. to. to. to. Yeah, no. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Yeah, no, no. Yeah, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, no. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, thi. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, no. Oh, thi. Oh, the strap-in. What kind of things do you do with your, what would be your day out that you take your grandchildren on? Well, obviously we haven't done too many of those because we haven't had our granddaughter. She's the only one who's kind of suitable the moment because Jaden is only five weeks old. So with Kaya, you know, we take her to the park and we took her to a place called Willow Farm where she got to, you know, see the animals and do stuff like that and watch a little show. So just, but she's really content, you know, just being

a grandkid, often sitting in front of, you know, Lucca on Netflix or something. So, you know, I just enjoy any time with her, even reading a story or giving her a bath or whatever. I mean, she loved the bath because when she was here last time, uh, they, too, too, too, too, to to to too, to to to to be, to to be, to to to to to to they, they, to they, they, they, they, they, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, they, they, they, they, they, they, they.. And, to th, too, too, they, the.a, they, they, they.a, they, they, they, their, their, the bath because when she was here last time, one of our baths has just a shower at the top of it, as many baths do, and literally I was changing the tap water from coming into the bath to then moving it to the shower, and she thought she was under a waterfall, because it was just the best fun for her, and she was screaming with laughter every time I changed it from the tap to the waterfall, tap to the waterfall. And she loved that. So, you know, just natural fun things that you did with your kids. And I've got, you know, I've got a couple of laser pens as well, like you sometimes at my gigs, you know, safety of course. like, you can buy all these toys. We've got like, but that's not normally like the thing that the child, we've got a tube,

one of those tubes to take for the air con unit to go outside. And my daughter has been playing with that tube for the last two days. Because it clicks open and it clicks closed and she loves that far more than anything we've spent money. You have lots of outside she's trying to crawl back in to be fair to them. The thing with kids is and I remember this when ours were little at birthdays and Christmas you get them all these presents because you want to be lovely to kids and spoil them a bit and they literally rip in open the box and they're not even bothered to open the box to actually get the toy out, they're just

moving on to the next one and it's all about the wrapping and the boxes in the end and they ignore the toys you should just buy them empty boxes and some wrapping paper and they'll be very happy. Yeah and also you get I thin' the parents parents parents parents parents parents parents parents parents parents to to get to to to the to to to to to their to to their to to their to to their to their to their to their to their their to their their their to their their their. their to to their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their. their. to to to to to to to to toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. to to their their you ever like, hunting down a buzzlight year or whatever at Christmas for your kids or was always a bit calmer? Absolutely, and I was quite lucky because I did the opening TV show for Euro Disney for ITV. It was me and Matthew Kelly and we took a bunch of kids out there to EuroDisney and we were there for like two weeks and then did the opening show on the night and that had a huge audience audience the the the the opening the opening show the opening show the opening show the opening show the opening show the opening th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. I th. I th. I th. I was, I was, I was thi. I was th. I was, I was, I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was thi. I was the. I was thoo. I was tho. I was quite the. I was quite tho. I was quite the. I was quite th. I was quite th. I like 23 or 24 million I think and it was a massive show and they gave us literally all the Buzzlight Years and all the various toys of the time and it was probably pre-Buzlite Year so it would have been whatever the Disney film was at the time and I just gave them all to our kids so they were very happy with that. Oh my God. I can remember looking for presents and stuff like their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I they. I they. I they. I they. I they were. I they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were very. I was. I was. I was they were very they were very th. I was very they were very th. I was very th. I was very th. I was very th. I was very th. I was very th. I was th. th. th. th. th. they were they were very they were very they were very they were very they were very they were very they were very they were very they were very they were very. I was. I was. I was they were very. I was they were very. I was very. I was very. I was very. I was very. I was very. I was very. I was very their. I was very their their. I was very their. I their. I th. I th. I th. I th. I their th. I their that and going around Hamleys and stuff and then being sold out and having to get oh I tell you what they did want they all wanted they all wanted they all they all their today.

Furbies are a thing weren't they? Yeah and they were like you had to like look after them and they grew like to look after them and they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to they to to to they they to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they try try they try try they they they they try they to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they then and then suddenly that like they just like like a sort of a computer or something they just gave up the ghost and they just don't do anything anymore they just died and I think once your Furby died it was just like a dog or something you know that's it so he's gone with Tamagotchi's and the awful crap that's a tama Gets you know I killed my Tam-Gotchi I got him wet I got him the the the the the the the the the the the the t. t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I got him t. I got him t. I got him t. I got him t. I got him t. I got him t. I got him. I got him tap. I'm tmago. I got tmago. I'm t. I'm t. I'm just. It's t. It's just just just just just just just just just just. I'm just just just just just. I'm. I'm. I'm just just. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I t. t. tote. tote. tote. tote. tote. tote. Just. Just. Just tote. Just. Just tote. Just. Just. on a log flume and that's how he died, absolute heartbreaking way. I was looking after him computer-wise but just got him wet. And when Nicky was little as well, our eldest, he came to the Smash Hits Awards, weren't you with me? When I won worst haircut, but the third year in a row. Is that even a prize? And I never got an award for it. I just got, hey, you've won, and I got listed in the magazine,

but I never got a trophy. So that's really unfair. He came with me and it was when the teenage mutant Ninja Turtles were number one with that record. Teenage mutant Ninja Turtles. You probably don't remember it anyway. They had a number one. So Nikki, who loved the turtles, because they were the biggest cartoon at the time when he was growing up, he got to hang out all day with the turtles until they came into the green room with their heads off and he was most disappointed. Did you take him to lots of things like that then? That must have been like, because he's got like the keys to the kingdom of being a child really, right? Everything. He came regularly, week and week out to Noel. He would just come with me. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He th. He. He. He the th. He. He th. He th. He's, the th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's the biggest. He was, the biggest. He was, he was, he was, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's, he's. He's. He's, he. He's, he. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's, he. He's, he. He's, he's, he's, he's tied. He was, he was, toge. Did, toge. Did, toge. Did, toge. Did, toge. Did, he was, he what was Noel like? Uh, big hair and, um, and, uh, small. He, well, I do remember, I, I, I, I, I, I confirm, I'm, you're just taking him home. Let him look after him.

Can you imagine? Noll's died. Look, it's not working anymore. Josh Wittakum took him on a log flume. So I only only rang the doorbell once at Crinkley Bottom. I often appeared on it coming out of his little box. He used to have these boxes that open up as I remember and I rang the doorbell and he was quite a bit smaller than me and I was on a step to make me look even taller the other side and he looked straight up at me and went, look at your the the their...... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I's thi. I thi. I th. I th. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. aller the other side and he looked straight up at me and went, look at your hair and I went, you can talk. And you know, and I think it was rehearsed and planned, but either way from there it was a bit of banter at the doorbell and then I went off again

and then I wasn't asked back. So yeah. Oh, Edmonds didn't like the hair banter. No. Well, you couldn't take it. It's a a a a that. Well, you couldn't take it. It's a lot of that in my book actually. There's a couple of chapters on on going to a party with Noel, but is it a fact or is it fantasy? I'll leave it for you guys to decide. Well, there must be weird in that world because obviously you seem very level-headed and with it but you can imagine the sort of mad egos of that when you can't imagine the sort of their times. you know, you know, 23 million people watch you on that other show and 10 million people, when it all gets big figures like that and people are in demand and getting paid well and they're the flavor of the month, you must have noticed out of a lot of people, big egos

and things like that. Did you, did you, did you know, did you know, did you know, it's that from others? I kind of happy go lucky and nice to be, you know, nice to be important, more important to be nice type thing because I've always you know think that it's just pleasant to treat people the way you want to be treated. So I didn't take too much into it, but maybe they were. I remember going on surprise surprise with Celer I went on all the great these these great th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I went on all the great the great the great to to be to be to be the great to be the great to be the great three. I went on three. I went on to be three. I went to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be try. try. try. try. try try try try try and more try try try try try try and more try try try the best one. I did Celebrity Squares and I was waiting to meet Bob Monkhouse. It was all quite exciting and I was standing in a corridor and he came walking towards me and he was with this guy. And I heard this guy saying to him, right Bob, Bob, this is Pat, he does a show called Funhouse, and he's probably seen he's got the long long hair, he's got, he's the long, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he yes, he's out. So I went, hi Bob, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, nice to meet you?

And he goes, Pat, how's the fun house? And I went, you don't even know what my fun house is, but it's all right. I've got to ask since you brought up UBET. Can you remember any of the, uh, any of the challenges that were done in front of you? I love you. I want to bring UBET back. That would be my dream job to host UBET if that came work. If Rob Beckett hosted you bet I would ask to be a regular on the panel because that would be the best Saturday night of my lie. It was. When you look back at some of these shows when they rerun them, you think, wow, was that even a show that got commissioned? I did it with, did Bruce Forsyth do it for a while? Yeah, he did it with, yeah, he did it with,

and I did it with Matthew, and I did it with Mattie, and I did it with you've forgotten Darren Day. Oh, Darren, you had a good run at a few bits, didn't they? Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. Silla Black, surprise, surprise. I went on with Silla and I had to take a viewer who won a competition to meet Michael Bolton and she goes, we have got someone to take you. I'm doing a great sort of impression here. We've got someone to take you, she said to the winner, who you are just going to love. I'm going to bring him on now. He has got lovely air. His air is lovely. And I came on and she goes, oh I love your air. And she touched my mullet and sort of moved it all around.

And I was just going, hey, anyway, well done, winner. Let's go, come on. The limousines waiting. We're going to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get the we to to We're gonna get to Wembley to meet Michael Bolton, even though it was like, you know, in two days' time. And it was just extraordinary. And Silla was very enamored with my hair. Ugh, my, my, uh,

what happened? When did you decide to get rid of the air? Well, I had a of those big car phones and it rang and you're always really excited back in the day you won't know this because you're way too young and it rang and it only ever rang with a number because you couldn't have a name on it in those days and it was like I was going yeah I better take this call coming through in the car and we get there and it was the days when you could pick up your phone the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I I they. I they. I they. I the the they. I the the the they. I the the the the the the the the the the was on this sort of thing where you clicked it off like that and you went hi yeah hi it's me I'm in the car yeah yeah hi I oh I think she was the only one who had the number anyway so I and it cost about 40 quid to phone me as well

and she said I want to speak to you when you get home. And I went, no, speak to me now. I've got a car phone. And she said, no, no, just you and me when we get home. We've got an o'pair and said, the opair look after the kids and I just need to speak to you. I went, oh, I thought it was a bit odd. And I got home and I was quite happy to hear that she wasn't unwell, there wasn't any problems or anything, she just said, I want you to cut your hair. And I went, oh, wow, phew, because it was a bit of relief, there was nothing wrong, I went, sure, so I had my hair cut, but obviously I couldn't let it go in one go,

so for about six months I had a bob, and it was just a school of fish. So what age was that you went to the Bob before like more of a, you know, sent, traditional cut? It was 94. It was 94. So you didn't have it for that. So you didn't have it?

Yeah, so you didn't have it, you didn't have it, you didn't have a a, that, that, that, the, to have, to have, to have, to have, the, to have, to have, to have, the, the, to have, that, that, the, the, that, the, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, you didn't have it years and years. No, I didn't have my mullet probably for seven or eight years, I reckon, but it's stood the test of time. I think that was a good decision though, because if you're still like, what are you, you're still like, you're mulleted now? Are you just a normal, no. No, regular. Regular. thing if someone who's like mega famous so certain if you continue if you don't evolve it looks a bit tragic then it if you still had the mullet now I think it would be too much yeah it would be joe exotic it would be odd

it would be horrible and I haven't got any tigers and I'm not in jail so just just wouldn't work there was there was a there was a there was a a mulllety curly but less mulety and just like a massive head of hair. Hang on. No, you have you've made a massive faux par. If you want to bring that picture up now and have a look at it, I know what you're looking at. That was me going to my friend's hair salon to have the very first because he wanted to use me in a in a newspaper it was the mirror and they were running a thing on hair extensions with his salon so I agreed to go in he put the

hair extensions in it's though it looks ridiculous that paper is it's one where it's a white t-shirt with the black writing written on it I think so the hair just doesn't look real if you look yeah yeah yeah you can you can see the join the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they.ea.ea. they. they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. You really can see the join. Yeah, she can. Basically, what happened was, this was for the mirror and we went in and and I got papped about the only time in my life from a distance outside because they saw me going into this hair salon, they called someone, I got pap from about 50 meters away and the pictures went in the sun saying Pat can't bear to live without his mullet. Full page, full page. That's amazing. And the mirror never ran their piece on hair extensions with the salon because they were scuppered by the rival paper.

Oh my word. Oh my word. I think the mullet is coming, making a comeback at the moment though, genuinely. Damon has one Rob. Has he? It really is? Yeah, I mean it's not the same. I don't think he really has any sway on pop three or culture anymore though. No, I think that's fair enough. When I saw the Damon album one that and the the Daily Star picked up up on it says Pat says Damon's Mullet is crap and it was like half a page I'm going well you know they don't

want to have a fight over this but it's not you know but it is true it's a crap mullet yeah it just not it doesn't even go down his back it looks more like my Bob how much up keep you doing or does it just fall into place every morning? I didn't do a lot with it. I didn't do a lot and didn't use any product in it. It was just a majestically flowing and it was a bit like a bird's nest. It didn't really, you know, I don't know what was in it and what was growing in it. It was a bit horrible all the time. But you don't you don't you don't need to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do any to do to do. to do any to do any to do any. to do any to do any to do any to do any to do any to do any to do any any any to do any to do any any any to do. to do. to do. to do. to do. to do. to do. to do. to do. to do any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any to do any any to do any to do any to do any to do any to do anything. to do anything. to do anything. to do anything. to do anything. to do anything. to do anything. to do anything. to do anything. to do anything. to do anything. to do anything. to do anything. to do anything to do to do anything to do anything with them, they just become, you just become trailer park, you know? The mallet exists separate to you, the individual, it's just there, isn't it? It's its own entity, yeah.

Did you ever consider getting it insured like Elmock Ferson's legs? You've really, you've really gone off the parenting thing, yeah, sorry, you can't help it. We've asked about your kids kids the kids the kids the kids their their their their their their their their their their thapapapapapapapapapapets, thi, to get thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, thian, thian, that, that, to that, that, that, that, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. It, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, is thi.. It's do it be awkward. Did your kids like the mullet? Let's stop talking about the mullet! Sorry. I know you love the 90s, but Pat's got here to talk about the mullet. We're talking to a man in an audio format that hasn't got a mullet anymore about mullets. I haven't had one for like nearly 30 years. It's amazing. Have you ever had an interview that hasn't ended up, cut touching on this Pat?

No. Right, have you got any more questions, Josh, before we wrap up? Well, I feel like I should bring it back to parenting, shouldn't I? Because I'll be honest with you, you know, this has been one of the most fun ones we've had, and I've thoroughly enjoyed it. But I want to learn from someone from someone who has you know who's parented and now it's great. I think you might be our first grandparent actually is that? Oh nice. I don't really pay attention to all the all the yeah maybe John the Ross. I don't think Jerry Ross has got grandkids. As he not? No we've had a lot of guests

guess some I think the first grand grandparent. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to to their g g g. I's grand 50s, so yeah, it's good, but we had kids young, so if you start young, you're getting it. How long, how long are you, when do you turn 60? October. So still in your 50s, you're in your 50s? Just, just. As kids say, and kids listening, and kids listening, well, as parents listening, they'll know that their kids always k k k k k k k k k k they'll know that they'll know that they'll know that that they'll know they'll they're that they're they're th. they're their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their. their. their their their their their their their their. their. When their. When their. When their, when their, when their, when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when, when when when when they're they're they're their. their, when, when, when, when, when, when their their their their their th. th. th. to to to to to to to toe. to their to toe. their their to to to their to their to to to their to their to to their kids always say, I'm 59 and 3 quarters. Yes, perfect. And so what, which was the period of being a parent that you kind of look back on the fondest? Is it them as a baby or as a toddler or small children? Or did you love the bit? I mean, obviously you're a very positive person,

I'm sure you loved it all, but the bit when they felt like they were mini adults. Yeah, I would say probably the mini adult bit where you can say to, certainly we had two boys first and then a girl and I would, you know, I'd take my boys and just say, come let's go, we're just going and Monica would say, where are you taking them? I go, we're just going, we're just going, we're just going, we're just going, we're just going, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just going, we're just going, we're just going, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're just, we're going, we're going, we're going, we're going, we're going, we're going, we're going, we're going, we're going, we're going, we're going, we're going, we're going, we're just going, we're just going, we're just going, we're just going, we're just going, we're just going, we're just going, we're just going, we're just going, we're just going, we're just, we're really muddy and they go that was brilliant. She goes, oh look at the state of you. So I just did things with my boys and that were fun and just you know outrageous and took them to concerts and took them to, they would come to all the Capitol Road shows. Even when they were babies, I remember, Nikki at a Capitol Road show, fell asleep at the today. th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I just thi, thi, so I thi, so I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just thi, so I just th. So, so I just th. So, so I just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just th. So, so I just just just th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, I th. So, I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just, I just I just, I just I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just I just I just did, I just I just did, I just I just I just thi, thi. I just thi, thi, as he slept with the base as it hit the sofa going like jumping up and down. I said you know where else would he be? He's obviously going to be here this is what I'm doing so this is where he's going to be and he grew up with the sound of base you know vibrating in his head on the sofa. That's probably not allowed think that's really nice that you kind of went, your kids experienced your life.

Do you know what I mean? It wasn't that you kept these two separate lives. You were kind of... No, they were in everything. They loved it. They absolutely loved it. I think they did anyway. They always say they've got great memories of it and they enjoyed it.

But none of them went into the same business as I am their kids will obviously enjoy whatever they do, you know? It's been a heartwarming, genuinely lovely conversation. Rob, you always like to end with the same question. I think Pat's going to struggle with this. Well yeah, the question is, what's the thing that your wife does, parenting-wise, that probably does it any more now they're grown up, but used to really annoy you when the kids were small, that you couldn't tell her annoyed you without it kicking off. And this is your opportunity now that if she listened to it, if Monica listened, you know, she won't go fair enough that he's got a good point. I think she does now what she did then and she was just a little bit too over caring. She's very careful. I keep getting told, don't do that. Don't do

that. Don't do that. And I think you're just going to let kids go a little bit, you know, keep an eye on them, but still let them go on that swing or that slide and have some fun because they've got to have a youth, where where where where to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have the youth youth youth youth to have to have to have to have a youth youth, where to have to have to have to have a youth, where to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to to tho the the that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that that, that to that that that to to to to th. to th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th. th, th. th, th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to the to the the to the the the to the to the the the that the thetoo, a little bit too worried about things. I don't say that is the absolute spirit of funhouse. Speaking right there. You've got to be able to fall over. Stick him in the gun, your kids. We had kids who went to hospital. They got winded and stuff in the games and we were going like, right, you could do us a real favor here. Could you just stop crying for a couple of seconds while we get this link done?

And all I need to do is I'm gonna say, well done, Johnny, you've got 25 points. You smile and Melanie will run off with you to the side. That's what you need to do and he's going, fuck, I need to go to hospital now. I'm going to be fine just to get this link out of way because I can't get back into these clothes tomorrow. They're filthy. We've got to get it done now, otherwise it's another shoot. So for goodness sake, pull yourself together. You're on the show.

You wanted to be on it, didn't you? They're always wanted to be on it. I didn't know it would be like this. I didn't know it would take tak so long it to to to to be to be to beers in to clean up before the go-cuts can go around because there's all gung on the floor from the last game. So get with the program. Bloody kids. Oh, thanks, Pat. It's been amazing.

Thank you so much, Pat. The book is called Re'unne the fun. The funn' the fun. Legend. That's a real buzz for you wouldn't it Josh. Loved it. Loved it. Can't wait for Dave Benson Phillips next week Rob. This podcast changing. We can't just do your 9 East crushes. I'd say one a year. One a year. Well no to be fair though it was good. I think it wasn't his fault we didn't talk about parenting that much it was more our fault and our questions that led us down the the fun house you went mad on the the the the the the the the to to to to the to to to the the to the their to their to their to let let let let let let let let let their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to to to their. their. their. to to their. their. their. Yeah. to to to to to to to to to their. I was. I'm. I was. I was. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to their. to to......... the to..... Yeah...... Yeah. Yeah... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the t. the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. t. t. on the fun house. You went mad on the Mully at the end. Yeah, I'll be honest. We haven't digressed that much since we talked to Romish about how ripped Andy Peters was. People like that. Let us know, do you like the digression or should we be bringing it back to parent? Yeah, let's know what you think because I'm a fan of a digress. Me too. Let's always remember we did 15 minutes on Priscilla's. the 15 Pres. the 15 pr pr pr pr pr pr pr pr pr pr pr pr pr pr pr- the 15 the 15 th. We th. We th. We th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. to to th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. the. the. thr. the. the. the. the. toe. toe. to to to to thr. thi. the. I mean, I'll be honest, the best stuff I've ever done is that involve kids. No, it's holding us back. It's holding us back.

I tell you, we should get rid of the parent and just call this podcast hell. I'll be on Beckett and Josh ridicule. See you on Tuesday when it'll be me and Rob talking about parenting and bins and stuff probably. Right, bye. Bye. Hello, I'm John Richardson. And I'm Matt Ford. We are comedians, best friends, and we're both football mad, and with the new season just around the corner we'll be spending more time than we'd like to admit playing fantasy premier league. There's nothing we love more than competing against each other and our own league. So in order to justify our FPL addiction, we've set up a brand new weekly podcast, called

Comedians Playing Fantasy Premier League. And it's not just us, each week we'll follow a group of comedians competing in the world's most competitive game. Buying for top spot, World B, amongst others, Rob Beckett, Russell Howard, Romesh Ramesh Ranathan, Josh Widdickham, Mazey Adam and Richard Osmond. Plus they'll be recurring rostering recurring roster of special guests from now until the end of the season. And each week there'll be prizes, forfeits, and lots of interaction with you. Yes, you! Our soon to be hopelessly obsessed listeners. There'll no doubt be lots of competition between myself and Matt,

and we will look back at the week in football and discuss how events off the pitch might affect your selections. Our first episode is available to download from the 11th of August from all the usual podcasting platforms, so please like, subscribe and share. You can also follow us on Twitter for extra content throughout the week and to also keep up to date on the standings of the Comedians League and that's at Comedians FBL. See you in a couple of weeks.