Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S03 EP17: Dreams do come true...

Episode Date: September 7, 2021

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S PARENTING HELLS03 EP17: Dreams do come true...More (mis)adventures in parenting hell with Rob and Josh. Enjoy. Rate and Review. ThanksxIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Looking for a collaborator for your career, a strong ally to support your next level success, you will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue. York you.C.A. Back to school signals a fresh start for students. New classmates, new teachers, new lessons. Change is in the air. But one thing hasn't changed.

The forward government still isn't investing in public schools. Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the supports they need. They can't wait another year. If the forward government won't change, it's time to change the government. Our kids are counting on us. Join us at Building Better Schools.C.A. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willickham. Welcome to Parents in Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations

of modern day parenting each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course, Tales of Parenting Woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times where none of the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to thi toeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. thi. thi. thi we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello and you are listening to Parenting Hell with Can you say Rob Beckett? the cat? And Josh Widdickum. There we go. There we go. There we go. There we go. There we go. The very the very the very the very the very the very the very there there the very there there there the very there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there are there there there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there the very the very the very the very the very the very the very the very the very the very very very very very very very very very very very very b. the very b. the very b. the very very br. the very b. the very very b. the very the very the very b. the very the very the very b. the very b. there. there. there. there. There we go. There we go. The very, very broad definition of good there.

Yes. I'd say Beckett got nailed. It's an easier word for kids, but Widdicum got lost a bit in the fury. Yeah, exactly. But that's always the, that's like the, you know. It's a cross you have to bear as a widdicum. It is, mate. The other cross I the other cross I the other cross I those I those I thi o o' those I thi o' tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thoom, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th I used to have to bear as a Widdicum was always being at the end of the register. Oh, I bet your ego didn't like that. Oh, I bet you didn't make the ego didn't like that. It didn't even make the register, mate. And it's a tough, tough name to spell at young age, Widdicke. Very. the th. It is th, th. It is th, thi. It is thi. It is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, the thi, thi, thi. It is the thi. It is thi. It is the thi. It is thi. It is thi. It is thi. It is thi. It is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. It is thi. It is thi. It is thi. It is thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. It is the. It is the and it's a tough tough name to spell at young age we do very tough very tough. Do you want to hear another disappointing thing Rob?

What was that? I have literally no information on that that's just a sound file that Michael sent me. Really so no name no location nothing nothing? No that could be any child saying our names at any point. Have we got anything more on it Michael? Let me just check one second. It should have been on there. Oh dear, look, look, now don't start to... I quite like the mystery. You're thrown Michael under the bus here, Josh. I urge a belly, I urge your belly rumbling. You just had a sip of tea. Oh, maybe I knew. We're so in tune. But I genuinely thought it wasn't Michael's part. I thought we just received an anonymous tip-off. Anon.

Anon. Maybe they don't want the fame from it. Maybe they don't want the fame. They can't deal with it. And like that's a good approach. I mean, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, it, I, it, it, it, I, I, I, I, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, I, it, it, th, th, th, th. It, it, it, it, it, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. It. It. It's, th. It's, th. It's th. It's th. It's th. thi, tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha, tha, tha, thi, thi, thi, to be. You know, sometimes you just want to put a voice note on a podcast and not out of the press-it-is, isn't it? She's like the banksy of the child saying the name thing. Exactly. I'm putting moisturizer on my face. Can you hear that? No, no, because that doesn't, there's no such sound, is there? It, I've basically run out of moisturizer in the house, but by my desk in the office, shed office, I've got a little moisterizer pot because I'm a 21st century man, Josh. What's your routine, Rob? What's your grooming routine?

I actually, I didn't have a moisturizer routine, but then I looked at my face and I looked so old and I thought, do you know what, Rob, let's fucking step it up. If you want to peak at 40, you've got to put the work in now, 35. So, I bet Lou set me up a, the skin care regime and I looked incredible for about three weeks, then I sort of forgot to do it because it got busy. But now the on the go Josh I need to get a regime going but it's just when you're getting home late from a gig Oh just not gonna moisturize rock not gonna boy You're barely gonna brush your teeth. I know it was a six it was a six stage regime Josh oh mate I don't know what was involved but Lou labeled it all for me and do you know what the comp when I was into it? I was into my regime? I was getting compliments on my skin? I was the the th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was the th. I was the th. I was the the the th. I was the the the th. I was the the th. I was to to to to to to to to to the the the the th. I was to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the Josh I've never had yeah Rob you look good what's that from just that everyone with more women than men oh really really appreciate the regime I've noticed they

really they you know game recognizes game when it comes to with the effort being put in because sometimes I feel a bit you know like these love island people and they go oh all they do is just look beautiful all these Instagramers they look but how hard it is to look beautiful. I try Rob I try my best. The effort they go to is Botox and its regime then it's getting their teeth done. His hair straight in the gym what you eat. The food? Oh it's good on and they've earned that. Exactly Rob. Thank God I want you mind being a bimbo. the the to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be in to be in to be in to be in to be in to be in to be in to be in to be in to be to be in to be in to be in to be in to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I th. I the the the the the the the the thi. I the the the the thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I try. I try. I try. I true. I true. I true. I true. I true we don't need to do that. You know I don't, I want you mind being a bimbo for a bit if that, you know, just been. No. The thing about Rob is, he's sexy, but he's got nothing else in the locker. I'd take that as a compliment. Here's a question. Do you think if you looked like someone from love I'm from Love Island, if you were you you you you you you you you you you you th you th you th you th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to thi thi thi to to thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi to thi thi thi thi to thi thi to to to th to to to to to to to to th. I to to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I thi. I'm thi thi thi thin the the the the thin. thoooooooooooooooooooooo. I to to the the tho th. Yeah. Do you think that would have adversely affected your stand-up career?

Yeah, I think the odd look I've got helps get jokes across the line. And do you know what, I'd probably be so busy pulling birds, I wouldn't even bother doing gigs. I mean, you've got a lot of spare time on your hands when you're an ugly teenager. When you're fattened the options are limited, options are limited, and I, and I, and I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'd thue, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd think, I'd think, I'd think, I'd think, I'd the the think, I'd the the think, I'd think, I'd tho, I'd the tho, I'd tho, I'd the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thin, I'd thin, thin, thoing, thoan, thin, thoan, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, I'd thinks, I'd thinks, I'd thager, options are limited and I think maybe I wouldn't have had this work ethic if I was getting some. Yes, of course. Do you know, when you knee deep in it, the last thing you want to do is drive to Dundee for a free gig, is it? This is the earliest we've got on a tangent. We've not even said the name of the people who did it.

So it is Megan Fleming. Oh, Flemmo, how she doing? She's good, that is Pip who is age two and a little chatterbox. Pip Fleming. Pip Fleming sounds like a weird sport they do in a village. You know, you're coming out, it's the Pip Fleming. The kind of thing you imagine I did when I was growing up in Devent. Basically, you get the Pips from something and gobb it the furthest. Wouldn't say no to watching that. If I got him and it was on Sky Sports at 1130pm. I imagine as well it's a big bearded fat guy and a massive fleece, really short denim shorts.

Skinniest legs you've ever seen with a belly of a barrel and massive boots, gobbing pips everywhere, fleming it up left right and center. But anyway anyway lovely name Pippa Fleming Oh Josh It's a lovely name and you can't you can't do anything about Fleming you're stuck with it like I'm stuck with Widdicum Yeah, you're stuck with it. You've got to deal with that right and and also you know you've you've had a boy So you've had a boy so old school says the name goes on. Obviously it's 2021 now so you can double barrel it can't you if you want. So now the Widergum lives on if you go in old school.

I know look guys it's a modern world you don't have to take someone's surname anymore. No. You know or you can go double barreled because it's a bit sexthrough with it. No, a lot of chat, a lot of chat early doors from Lou, but I think she realized my surname was better than hers, so she took it. Beckett, she was a Watts, a Watts. I don't think it's weak the surname Watts, and it. What's? Well, Charlieger, lead man. You know they? Richard, one step below. What? You're at the back of the cue. But that one thing I do find a bit sexist about weddings, which is still a thing, even, you know,

a lot of the strongest feminist, is your dad giving you away. Yes. That's so, just the wording of it is so, Josh, let me get my neck stiff for a bit I think it's problematic. Oh lovely Rob. Do you like that? Do you know what Rob after you know you were heralded for being honest about mental health last week you really are a renaissance man you are really are Britain's 21st century man you've come a long way since the euros Rob. I feel I think I'm completing the full circuit of a UK comedian you start off funny you get stiff and then you want to be taken seriously but I'm gonna shake that off so quickly it's happened so quickly. It's literally happened in the space of a month.

Do you know what I'm not going question time once I've got to go on question time. Are you gonna do it? No I'm not. I literally I turned I tied I tied I tied I tied I tied I tied I tied I t. I tied I t. I tied I t. I tied I tied I tied I too. I too. I too. I took I to to to to to to to to the the their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. th. th. th. th. t. t. t. t. t. to. to. to. to. to. to. t. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. yet. I got asked to go on question time. Are you going to do it? No, I'm not. I literally, I turned it over once, saw Romish on it. I mean, what the fuck are you doing here? I'm like, Romash, come on mate. We all know you like, you like TV, but this is this taking the fiscuit, isn't it? Come on, mate. I'm not getting richly destroyed on Twitter. Yeah. the room. the room. the room. the room. th. th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thre's. that's. thre's tho, the tho, the the tho, thrush. tho, the tho, the the tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I, th. I, th. I, th. Come, th. Come, tho, thr. Come, thr. Come, to to to to to to at at midnight. I genuinely can't imagine anything worse than turning up to question time. I'm getting itchy thinking about. I mean I'm fragile sat there and he's got all the fucking stats at his fingertips and then you know there's like you and then and they come to you first to you first on a topic you and it's the week I mean imagine Rob you're booked for question time first time goes up what we can do about Afghanistan this one goes to Rob Beckett are you fucking kidding me? Probably leave it for a bit just go to the you know the Canary Islands this summer for an holiday what oh oh I'm sorry you mean politically okay okay I've got nothing on it I can't do question time one I don't really really the the the the the the the the the the the to to to the to the to the to the to the to the to the the to to the to the to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. the the the the the the. the the the time. time. time. time. time. the. the time. the. the the the the on it. I can't do question time. One, I don't really know anything.

Two, I don't really care. And three, it's just a big long wank, in it, for clever people. I'll tell you what, this is what, I'll talk about our kids and parent in a minute, but that's why we can't do politics, because we did this, we both, we both, we both, we both, we both, we both, we both, we both, we both, we both, we both, we both, we both, with Andrew Neal years ago, do you remember that? Do I remember it, Rob? I've started cold sweating thinking about it. Because I did it and I found it quite hard work.

I was on with Alex Salmon, and you know, this was about, you know, he was a bit more of a hot topic than I was, so I just sort of sat back and listened. But you went on it, and I do remember you getting a bit unstucked. I'd say it's still the worst thing that's ever happened to me on TV. The only good thing about it is... Is it still available online? Yeah, it's still on YouTube, do seek it out. The only good thing about it is, Rob, occasionally about once a year, you'll do something like a chat show or a panel show.

Yeah, and they'll say, have you ever had a TV disaster? And you go, I'll wheel this one out. I reckon I've got, the one positive about this week is I have got 15 separate TV appearances out of playing that video. Yeah, because basically you get asked about going to school and you accused Michael Portillo and Diane Abbott. I didn't accuse, I didn't accuse is a big word. Okay, you implied that Michael Portillo and Diane Abbott went to private not a Diane Abbott. I was aware Diane Abbott but I said Michael Portillo did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have. I have. I have. I have the th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th th th th th th th th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have have have the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. I have thi. I have thi. I have thi. I have thi. I have thi. I have thi have thi. I have thi have the the thi. I have thi. I was aware of Dian Abbott didn't, but I said Michael Portillo did. Yeah, and the thing about Michael Portillo is, he fucking skewers people.

He is absolutely destroyed. He's a top-level operator. You can't, there's no flies on him, he knows everything. You accused him were going to private school and he literally bent you over, pull your trousers down and slap your ass and sent you out. Which was what I imagined happened at his private school. They didn't go to. He didn't go to. And I got there and they said, do you want, we want you to talk about accents and whether it face the workplace.

I was like, what the fuck do I know about that? What does possible sound like for your business? It's having to spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with Business Platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and Conditions of Live. Visit Amex. to business platinum. I'm not going back to university to be your friend.

I'm going so I can get Uber one for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm thes. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thus. thus. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. What is. the. What is the. the. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. the. to the. the Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cashback on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think University is for. Get Uber one for students. to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $499 a may vary eligibility and member terms apply anyway Josh we talk about our weeks how's your week been you are the busiest man in TV at the moment every time I turn the telly on you're on it the Paralympics I uh well look I've got to deal with my work life balance I'm aware of that I think the legacy of 2012 was your workload? Mate, genuinely.

So I only had little bits of time off in the mornings, right? Because obviously we're going to... Normally, this is how tired I'm normally after last leg, I can't get to sleep to one or two. Yeah, I'm the same. I've started doing gigs again, and I'm not goingtired Rob that I'm finishing last leg at 11 p.m. right it was being filmed eight minutes from my house I was asleep by half 11 most nights. Okay so you're you're your how many days in a row did you

he's done now 12 days in a row of live show at 10 to 11 but the worst thing that happened was I had a fall Rob you had a no you're too young for a fall you fell over I I fell over I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the th I th I to th I to th I to to to to th I to to th I to th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I to to th th th th th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th to th to th to to th to to to th th to th th th th th th th to th the to the the to the to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the thing that happened was I had a fall Rob. You had a... no, you're too young for a fall. You fell over. I fell over one morning, jogging. In the park. I thought I'll go to the job to me. Was the car following you? Did the chauffeur get out and pick you up?

Like Richie, did he? You popped you back and put you in the high chair? So I was jogging in the park, yep. And I went from the grass to the gravelly path. The gravelly tarmackey path. And I caught my toe on the, barefoot. The stone, no I caught the towel. Yeah, I run like, I come Diana Vickers.

Them little like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle socks, you know them shoes people wear. I'm gonna, hey them, little two pockets. Oh, they're creepy. Oh, they scream nonce, don't they, those sock shoes. So, um, I had a fall off. Yeah. I went down. I caught my toe of my the the stone lip around the grassy area. Do you know like...

And I can imagine it. I went down with such impact that the two people that were walking the other way on the path. You know how you're not meant to react when a child falls? How you meant to keep a straight face? They did not keep... they acted. They looked so concerned. They kept asking me if I was okay. And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and I was, and I was the, and I was the, and I was they, their, their, their, their, their, I was their, I was their, I was their, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was, I was they, I was they, I was they, I was they, I was they, I was they, I was they, they, they, they, they acted, they looked so concerned. They kept asking me if I was okay. And when I said I was and I walked off, they said they were going to watch me walk off because they were worried, worried that I had concussion because I'd hit my head.

Ha ha ha ha! Do you banged your head then? I'll show you, I'll send you some pictures now. Okay. So this is um... Oh Josh. This is my knee. Oh God! Fucking hell! How did you, you've bang it in three different places?

Yeah, because I skidded along the path. How fast can you run? I was really, I was surprised that. It does look like I've been going up out. You're like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I tho, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Oh, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I to to to to th. I'm to to to th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm tho. tho. thooo. to to to to to thoooooooooooooooooo. I'm to thoo. I'm going up out. You're falling off a motorbike. This is my shoulder and my elbow. Oh my god. Also topless pick from Josh Willican there. Yeah, enjoy that. You shoulder and elbow. Yeah, you scratch that as well.

Even my head, Rob. Faking it. You look like you've been kicked in. It was mad. So then I was walking home. I'll go for 15, I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've to. I've. I've. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the shoulder. the shoulder. the shoulder. the shoulder. the shoulder. the shoulder. the shoulder. the shoulder. the shoulder. the shoulder. to. the shoulder. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. to. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th mad. So then I was walking home. I'd gone, I'll go for 15, I've got 15 minutes before I need to get in the shower to go to last night. So you walked home after the fall because you were filming. But by now I knew I was obviously gonna be late

because I was hobbling home. So I had to in the summer time's production meeting. We're going to have to push it back. He's had a fault. A 70-year-old woman, old woman, stopped me in the street to ask if I was okay and asked whether she needed to go and get her first aid kit from her house. Well, just because she saw me walking along with blood coming out of my knee. Look at Shell Shot Soldier! Shuffling back from the docks.

Yeah. It was genuinely, one, it was, I found it quite shocking to experience, to be honest. Also, it must be pumped how fast she can run. Yeah, too right, mate. But you're all right now? Yeah, I'm fine. But that was kind of the biggest moment of my week, really. Yeah, of course, yeah, everything else was work. So, I have hardly seen my children, Rob. And you're what you're on another job now, aren't you? I'm on another job now, Rob,

yeah, filming at Alton Towers. Yeah, tough to out of the office. Yeah, well, so I'm in a, but obviously I'm staying in the Hulton Tower's Hotel. Yeah. But I haven't got any children, but I've got a bunk bed in my room and an Xbox. I'm just going to send you my view now currently of my room. Look at this. You're living a life, mate. Oh, there, that's a bit like the Legoland place we went to. Yeah, so yeah, then the bunk beds are on the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the thi. thi. the theck tho tho thoombunk bed thoombun thoombun think think think that's that's that's thi. I I that's th. I I th. I th. I th. I I th. I I th. I th. I I I's th. I's th. th. I's th. th. I's thin. th. I's thin. thin. thin. thin thin the the the the the the the the the the the thunk the thunk the thunk the the thunk thunk the the the beds around the corner of a little tele. That's exactly the same setup as the Legoland one. Anyway, so you're in that hotel, you're filming Elwant Towers.

So I'm doing that and then I'm going home tomorrow. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, and then my tour starts Friday, and I've got a wedding on Thursday. And I've got a wedding on Thursday. Thursday wedding and then Friday tour and then his Zoe Ball, Dudley Day? I think, that's the Dudley day. Thankfully Zoe Ball has been moved back a week, Rob. Oh God, that, the bad day, all the Dudley people are going to be annoyed now that you've got, you've got, you've had to sleep, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, they. they. to, the, the, the, to. to. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they....... So. So. So, the. So, they. So, they. So, they. So. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. too, to. the, they. the, Friday for the Dublin thinking that I was going to be absolutely insane

on the night when in fact I'm just going to be quite pedestrian and a bit rusty. To be fair, I think you could stop the sentence that it's a shame for the people in Dublin. Don't think you need any more. I'm excited to go back on tour though. It's great. I've been doing it and I absolutely love it it's amazing you do notice a different like excitement levels of the days of the week where some days are a quiet a vibe everyone's a bit hung up but that I'm I'm being so grouch in the morning because I'm not gonna sleep to about half one too because I can't calm down yeah kids are up at seven I'm just like in another dimension oh god but um so you've not really seen your kids no so the thi the th I I I I the the the th I I I th I th th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that tho. tho. th tho. th th that that the the. I'm th their their the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th th th th thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin the the the the the the the ty ty ty. ty te ty. tttoday ttty. the the the the the the the the, so I've seen them in the mornings, but that's it really, it's really weird.

So you feel very disconnected, if I'm honest with you. I don't like it at all. And you are tired because you're working a lot, but you can never mention that or say it out loud. No, exactly. Exactly. It's been a weird experience, to be honest with you. And next week, Rob, I've got to, the books out next week, so it's all PR. Oh yes, so it's constant. So I'm so busy.

And that's really tiring because you're going from pillar to post all day every day. Yeah, I'll be honest with you. My work life balance this month is absolutely shot but luckily because I'm sat in a nautical themed hotel room I have got time to do a podcast. About the kids you'd not seen? About the kids I've not seen yeah. I think I've got too used to being at home during lockdown. Yeah definitely because I now feel an insane guilt about being away. No I don't think you should feel guilty because you've got to go to work that's what your job is and you're you know the main bread winner when it comes to that so you have to go but what I would say is though

you just have to make sure you build in time so that you and Rose can have a break so I always make sure I'm building time that I book off so that I can go away of a mate and have a good time and also stuff as a family of four and stuff for me and Lou together. So you want, it is a balance of all of that rather and also embracing doing nothing. So I had nothing on Sunday and normally I would go all right. to be all right. And normally I would go, all right, well, what would do is because of it, I don't really. do that's go and do a big day out of a big grand gesture but actually we all had a much better time just lazy on the sofa and messing about watching the tele so yeah but it's just but the thing is as well you've not worked properly for

like 18 months so it's all coming at once you know it's quite weird it's quite weird but it's you know apart from the fall yeah it's been positive yeah it's and I'm yeah it's it's been a weird experience. I'd say what's interesting right I I got very nerve I received my books Rob. Oh yes. Which is one of the most exciting things that's ever happened in my life. But the actual physical it's become a thing. Actually physically received the books. Nice. And it is an insane experience to go Actually physically received the books. Nice. And it is an insane experience to go, oh fucking hell this exists. Yeah, and it's going to be in a shop.

And it's going to be in a fuck. It's going to be in a bloody shop. And people are going to buy it. Do you know what I mean? Well, you hope. Or it'll be pulp. It's going to be in someone's house and they're going to go, I've got this book here and they'll go, what's it like? And they might go, it's brilliant or they might go, I'll think it's worth a read. That's just what a book is, isn't it? And you know, someone who use it to prop open a window and I'll have written that.

Someone might get caught short and like their ass of it. Exactly, it genuinely, so that was a thrilling tree, he's chopped down trees because we've had a couple of thoughts. There must be books written about the problems with deforestation. That's a tough book to get over the line, isn't it? It does well on Kindle. It does very well on Kindle. It smashes it on Kindle. It smashes it on Kind of. Oh that's exciting that, but nerve, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's tho, it's tho, it's, it's, it's tho, tho, thi, thoom, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's th. It's thi, thi, thi, thi, the. It's a thea. It's theaugh, thea. It's a tooooooooooooooooooooooooops. It's a thea. It's tha. It's Oh, that's exciting that, but nerve-wracking. Like, it's very weird because on the one hand, like I got the book and I was like, oh my God, I'm so proud of this. And I like went through it, and I was like,

I really am so excited and proud of this. Yeah. And on the other, I'm so terrified about it coming out. I've told you this before have I, that every time I have something new coming out, I feel, I go, I don't know if I can deal with it. Like I remember when this podcast first came out, and every time I always go, I wish I was just a local radio DJ and Devon. That's what I, I just, give it a bit time. I just think, exactly, Rob. I just think you're need to move to death. What about that may, I think you'll get there. But, I know you, don't sweat it. Pirate FM I'll have you. Pirate FM, fucking out.

Picture a parrot. But yeah, no, I think that's totally that true. I always think I wish I just had a much lower pressure job and I just went in and did it and then came home. And for some reason it's like mid-morning DJ on radio, Devon is the one I always think about. That'll be the last little work. Now you get bored, you get too comfortable. I know. I both enjoy the, I really, I the, I the, I th, I th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th...................................................................... I, I, I, I, I, I, I really enjoy that being exposed thing and really don't enjoy it.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but that's like anything you don't like enjoy everything to the absolute max. Do you just have to make sure that when you're like do more of stuff you do enjoy but don't allow it to affect you too much. You know, it's a balance isn't it? It's like being that, you know a thim ambulist? Is it a. Is it, thi. Is it, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, is a th, like, is, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, a. It. It. It. It's, like, a. It's, th. You. You. You. th. You. You. th. You. You. th. You. You. You. th. You. You. th. You. You. You don know, what's the people that walk on the tart rows? It's a thim out, I can't say the word, but you know tart walkers. Yeah, there's a word for it, thim ambulist I think they're called. So basically it's like that, you're walking along that. And in some days, you'll do stuff that, you know, it doesn't pay that well, but you love it and it's really good fun. But you just can't go too far even way.

And if you don't do too much a one, you'll balance out and it'll be all right. It's just making sure that you've got that balance. So you're not just doing stuff you don't enjoy just for it. to the sake of it, you know, I enjoy. I enjoy. I enjoy. I enjoy. I enjoy. I enjoy. I enjoy. I enjoy. I enjoy. I enjoy. I enjoy. I enjoy. I enjoy. I enjoy. I enjoy. I enjoy. I enjoy. I enjoy. I enjoy. I enjoy. I enjoy. I enjoy. I enjoy. I enjoy. I enjoy. I enjoy. I enjoy. that. that. that. that's. that's. that's. that. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. the. th moment. Yeah, that's what it is. Every day I do look for, I do enjoy everything I'm doing. I'm just doing too much of it, if you don't know. And it also comes once because the, you know, we didn't know this, we might not have been touring again. The Paralympics might not have ever happened. So you'll be honest Rob. When I put this tour in autumn, I didn't I didn't. I was like. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. th. I'll th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I'll. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to I was thinking, look forward to doing that in spring. You'll be all right, mate. You're just in the middle of it all, and then once it'll all calm down, but just don't book too

much stuff in or overwork, you've got a balance or you won't get to do anything of it properly, will you? If you stretch off the too thin. I'll let you know next week how many hilariously, you know, how it goes through the PR period. It's going to be a... Yeah, and also you're not a natural seller, are you? You get stressed. Rob? Yeah. If you want to see someone who's not a natural seller, yeah. Get ready for two weeks of the least natural salesman on tour on tour of radio and television studios. Well Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. tooers. tooers. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. to to to to to to to to too. too. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toe. toe. toe. to studios. Well maybe that's what I listen to do, keep an ear out for the unnatural salesman in flow and see you when you sort of, go,

so Josh, do you want me to practice now with you? Yeah, let's practice now. So Josh, you've got his new book out. Yeah, it's shit. Yeah, I think you need what, laugh thinking it'll be a third spike and I've got to dangle in a minute and I don't know what's going on but end of the day fun house was a great show and some great jokes about it. You know what?

Do you want to know something really depressing? What's that? So we had the rap party for last leg? Yeah, I got so drunk. That's a good way to deal with it. I think. I to to to to to to th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the thi. thi. thi. the thi. thi. the to to to to to to the the the the the. to to to to to to to their. Do their their their to to to their. Do to their. Doe. Doe. Do it. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. I. Do. I. I. I. I. Do. Do. I. Do. Do. I. I. th. I. I. th. I. I. th. I. I. S. I. I. S. I. I. I. S. I. I. S. I. I. I. S. I. I. S. good way to deal with it. I think if you're overworked over stressed just get shit-faced So the only three I've only got three memories of it right? Oh, how do you really got drunk the first one is why? I don't even have a smug guy. I've had a week off drinking. I'm gonna do another three weeks? Whatever. Yeah, well, I have hardly drunk. I'm hardly. I've the the the the the the the the that's the that's that's that's the that's the that's th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've three. I've three. I've three. I've three. I've three. I've three. I've three. I've three. I've three. I've three. I've three. I've three. I've three. I've three. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've got. I've only. I've only. I've only. I've only. I've only only only got. I've only got. I've only got. I've only got. I've only got. I've only only got. I've only got. I've only got. I've only got. I've only only got. I've only got. I've only got. I've only got's that works mate I've literally not drunk for a week you can't have hardly drunk because you have drunk no alright I haven't it's competition but I'm better at not drinking than you at the moment right because I'm not I've not hardy drunk I've not drunk okay and I'm fine with it just a little bit tetchy let me tell you let me tell what I did on the final day of the last leg so the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to let let let let let let let let let let let to let me to let me to let me to let me to let me to let to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the te. the the tele. the telli. I my house. Yes. By the last three episodes, we had so many Paralympians on the show that I basically had nothing to say. So normally we'd have

four hours where we'd like work on what we were going to say. I reckon I was getting it done in 20 minutes. I was down to half. No one wants to hear from you at this stage. No one one was down to half a cue card. I was to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their their th. I was their thoom. I was thoompern. I was their their one. I was their their one. I was their one to have to have to hear to hear to hear their their their their their their one. I was their one. I was their their their their their their their their one. I their their one. I. I their their their. I. I was their one. I was their their one. I was their one. I was their one. I was their one. I was tho. I was tho. I was tho. I was tho. I was tho. I was thoooooooooooooooo. I was th. I was the the the the the the Olympian? I was down to half a cue card for all of the stuff that I needed to say in an hour. Okay, right, so by the end you sort of, it was taking your foot off the pedal. Yeah, but I was still producing the two times I spoke. Yeah, okay. And so, um, then on the last day, there was the leavers picnic for the children that were leaving my daughter's nursery. Oh yeah. And it was in the park nearby so I was like, well just nip out there in the afternoon. All right, when you're supposed to be preparing for the show, you just look into the park, that's nice, it's fine. Everyone's allowed a lunch hour. Yeah, I had three apparel sprits in the park for a kid's butt and then you bowled back to the TV land? A ball back to TV land?

Exactly. So let's be honest, silently through the rehearsal. Hardly drinking? You fucking shitfaced in the day, mate. Give it all this was my day of drinking, right? Yeah, sobered up, right? Did the show. The two things I said went well. At th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. th. th. th. th. S. th. S. S. S. S. A. S. S. A. S. th. A. th. I. A. A. th. th. th. th. I. th. th. th. th. I. th. th. th. S. S well. At 5 p.m. I texted the producer to say, can we have apparel spritz at the rap party, which must have looked suspicious. It's a niche. You've heard, can we have a couple of cold beers at the end? Yeah. Not a neat, yeah. Because that involves an orange, it involves a spirit, it involves a mixer. So I got quite drunk. So I got drunk. the the the the the next the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. thiol-I. thiol-I. I th. I thi. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t th th th th the th drunk. Yeah, I woke up in bed the next morning and I've never had this before. I still had my trousers on but not in the way where I was fully dressed but they were around my ankles. So I'd half, I'd halfway got undressed. So also because it was a BT sport Rob. Yeah, I'm not proud of this. I'm not proud of any of these things. I stole S th th thol something thol something thol something. I stole th. I thol something. I th. I tho tho tho tho th. I tho th. I tho th. I tho tho. I tho. I'd tho. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm the the the tho' tho' th. I've th. I've th. I've their. I've their. I've their. I've their. I've their. I've their. I've the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. theat. thea. to. toge. too. too. too. too. too. too. the. not proud of any of these things. I stole something off the wall Rob.

What do you still? But they then forced me to put back. Let me find it for you. Josh, you got you got really drunk? I did get really drunk. You started stealing and you had your trousers around your ankles. No, you can't make it. It's a giant photo that's a big as you. Is that. It's a that's. It's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thr- I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm theeeeee. I'm theeeeeeeeee. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. I that Ray Stubbs? Ray Stubbs, the former host of football focus. Ray Stubbs? Why? Why have they got Ray Stubbs on the wall? I don't know. Does he do work for BT Sport now? He must present stuff for BT sport.

I've not seen him on the tele for ages. I've literally try to see if th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the. the. I the. I's the. I's the. I's the. I's the. I've the. I's the the thoome. I's thoome. I's the the the the the the the the. I's the. I's the. I's the the the the. I's the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I's the. the picture in existence of race dubs. It's monstrous. Yeah. It's actually bigger than Ray stubs. Yes. It's bigger than him as a human. I don't know what maybe ESPN is he working for now? He must. He's working for something like that. Anyway, I was forced to put it back. But my only memory is a photo of me holding a large picture of race dubs. My childs around my ankles is around my ankles. And th. And th. And th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thii's thi. th. th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's thi's bigger th. It's bigger th. It's bigger th. It's bigger th. It's bigger th. It's bigger th. It's bigger th. It's bigger th. It's bigger th. It's bigger. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's bigger. It's bigger. It's bigger. It's bigger. It's bigger. It's bigger. It's bigger. It's bigger. It's bigger. It's bigger. It's big th. It's big th. It's big thi. It's big th. It's bigger, thi. It's bigger, thi. It's bigger thi. It's bigger. It'sthis is mortifying Rob. What else has happened? This is, this is a low. This is a real lot. You didn't call Des Linen did you? No, I didn't.

So the producer, the two producers had asked for a copy of my book so I'd given them a copy of my book. So you're bowling around telly, shit-faced and afroats stealing things, giving that copies of your book. Who the fuck do you think you are? Awful, Rob. Awful. Then, I found myself, all I can remember, is being pissed, and I was reading the producer bits of my book that I liked.

Oh no. That's the worst thing I've ever done, right? Oh my God, Josh. That is awful. You're reading a book out loud to the producers. Well, also, I remember I was too drunk to articulate any of the words so I had to stop. Also, they've been producing you for 12 days in a row. Do you really think they want to hear from you again? Of course they don't drop. Do you've got to say? They knew? Did they know? Did they not just go shut up Josh Riddler? They're. They knew. They knew. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th th th th th th th th thi. th thi. thi. th th thi. th th th th th th thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th Yeah, they knew. That as well, that's got with their top anecdote. What's it like working with Josh Riddaker? An absolute joy. Absolute joy.

An absolute joy. Oh, so what bit, so you're reading out bits of your book? Well, it's good that you're proud of your thing is you're too oppressed to really say that to people so what you do is you wait to get ship phased and then force them to listen to it. Exactly Rob it comes out when I'm drunk. I'm too bashful in real life about embarrassment of that kind of stuff but then when I'm drunk I go too far the other way Robbush. to the the thrassassassass. I'm to go to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to get to get to get to get to get to to to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get. Robe. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Robe. Robe. Robe. I to to to to to to to th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thrue. I thrue. I'm the thrown. I'm the the thro. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to for all of the... Am I going to have to get drunk for Zoe Ball? So that I can be positive about my book. All I'm saying is the funniest I am he's drunk. Yeah.

But it's a terrible way to live your life. Imagine that though, Rob, I turned up I wouldn't, yeah. I don't know which one's Chris Evans. You are? Danny Baker and Chris Evans in the 90s, that'll be. Exactly. Well, look, I'm glad you let in your head and enjoy yourself, Josh. Yes. Do you want to hear about my week? I mean we've done the episode basically. I've done it. Well, should we do your week on Friday? Sorry. I've babbled. I'm a the the their to do to do to do to do the the to do to do the to do the to do the to do the the to do. the the the th. th. th. th. th. Do. to do. Do. Do. th. th. I'll th. I'll the the the th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'm th. the the the their their their their their their. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. Yeah. Yeah. I. I'm. Yeah. I'm. Yeah. I'm. I'm. Yeah. Yeah. I'll. I. A. A, we got, look, I'll do a couple of bits that talk about. I'm going to talk about the kids going back to school, because I went back to school. We had to drop them off and there were tears, Josh. Oh.

Okay, so basically, because there's a new preschool, right? We've got to sort of, to do, sort, the, the, the, to, to, to, the, to, to, to, to, to, the, to, to, to, to, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, I, I, I, to, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, to, to, to, to, to, to, I, I, I, I, to, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, to the other one. But the second one needs to be driven and parked and dropped off, but we haven't got time to walk the five-year-old to school, walk back, then drive the three-year-old. So we're having to do a drive, drop-off out the car, then drive and then drop-off. Oh, my. But the little drop-off queue Lou jumped out with her and walked her in because she was a bit nervous about going into year one And then we got back in the car which I'll part around the corner and then drove to the preschool And then because the preschool one went in last week and was happy before she was chill. We thought we were we were we made a crucial error Josh. Yeah. I started chatting about the stressful parking.

Where can we park? Oh it was good that the five-year-old didn't cry. Oh yeah, because she won't get upset about going in. But we're saying all this and the three-year-olds in the back here, isn't it, Josh? Oh, we got cocky. We got cocked. they feed off your stress Josh. Anyway we get to the front of school four tears bedlam. Horrendous crying and to the point where can't reason with her she's hiding behind me holding on to me and then in the end the nursery people

I'll let me take her they picked her up and she was clawing at me. Oh my god like holding onto my fingers to the hurt and I was like I'm what you do in those situations? Stay in those in the in the in the in they in they in they in they in they in they in they in they in they in they in they they they they they they they they they they they're they're the they're the the the they. I they they. I'll they. I'm to to to the their. I'll to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I their. I the their. I they are. I they're they're the they're they're the the the the the the th. I'm the. I'm the the the the the the the the. I the the the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm to the the. was like, I'm going to go now. So what do you do in those situations? Staying will only make it worse. So I was, okay, I'll see you after lunch. I'm gonna go and get some lunch and I'll come back. I'll see it a bit. I love you, bye. And I went like, and then it was awful. I could hear, I could hear it. I could hear tho, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, and, I, and, and, and, I, and, and, I, I, and, and, and, I, I, and, I, and, and, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I'm, I'm, I, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I'm, I, I, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, to, to, to, to, to, to, to.... to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to, to, to, to, I'm, I, I'm,, no, I know that's the best place for her. She really enjoys it. She likes it. Which she can't come home with us because we've both got work to do today.

So she can't, she can't, she can't, she can't. And she's got to get used to it. We can't just keep taking a home. And then, so I felt horrible. And then they're the school, the school, the school, the school, the school, the school, the school, the school, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to.. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, to, the, the, the, the, to, the, to, to, and the things were... Never, just wanted to let you know they're having a fucking great time. Well, no, the thing is, that's the thing, it was. It was, it was a, was it? She's just waiting, you know,

how she's just, I'm just saying, but basically what she said, playing in the kitchen with all the other kids not not even close to being a bit upset she's fine so that was nice but when when you first get the call that's a high pressure phone call I think from the teacher in it yeah because it's like she basically goes hello it's just a coach call just to say that she's fine but they have to get the fine bit in so fast because of the parents getting all anxious and oh god anxious. But it was stressful. It was stressful and stuff. Oh mate. Are they back in the groove now? Well, it's only, it was only the first day, so hopefully she'll be fine. And then that she's fine. Yeah, she's fine. But yeah, it was, it was stressful. Can I ask what time it was on

your watch when you said I'm just going to go get some lunch. I dropped off at 20 past 8 a.m. She knows of a hungry guy. I like an early lunch late dinner. I've always done it that way. Absolute panic. Absolutely panic. I need moose kids. I'm going to go get some lunch and go get some lunch and thun' lunch. Well no, no because I think when they're sort of coming back a little bit like when I normally use that one is when they're trying to get settled at like a kid's birthday I'm just going to get some lunch and come back. And I do because you are coming back. Not like I'm going to leave you now for six hours. There's a bit more of an intense delivery. Yes. Oh yeah, oh one other thing and then I'll say some some stuff for Friday. We're doing a correspondent special. Yes. We're we. We're we. We're we. We're we. We're we. We're their. We're their. they they they they're they're they're they're. they're they're they're they're they're they're th. th. th. th. th. I'm going. I'm going. I'm th. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. so much to get through. Because we've not really done many of your emails. Oh, I do apologize. I've got this, this will make you laugh. Josh, I thought I was been attacked my dog in the week.

I pulled up to park the car with the kids in the back and I opened the door. It's a bit of a rough back street, a bit of parking in a brunnel. and I got out and as I got out I heard whoo, woo-hoo! That is like the loudest aggressive barking ever and I went oh fuck and I just slammed the door shut because I couldn't really see where the dog was but just sounded because it felt like one it felt like a mad Kujo like rabid dog right

because it was just like was it wasn't even changing its bark it was like you know so shut it, went, huh, huh, turn round and one of my kids had got their toy dog that barks and put it as close to my ear as you possibly could without touching my ear and pressed, squeezed it so it did the butt. It was, it fell like. It was so loud, job. Get a dog that makes a bark and put it by your ear and then, imagine that you're opening a door in a rough area and you don't know there's a toy dog barking. It was like absolutely shit myself, like sweating immediately, like nearly just drove off, but

it was a toy dog. That's awful, Josh. It is emasculating, but dogs can be scary, Josh. I never had dogs as a kid. No, I find dogs scary. Yeah, I know you shouldn't. Oh, they're lovely, but they are a bit scary, Josh. Can I ask you a question from one emasculated man to another, Rob? Go on. I had quite an emasculating experience this week. All right. I got a message from my car saying that I needed to pump up the tires Rob. Oh I mess up on the screen on the car. The screen? Yeah. I had no idea how to pump up the tires.

Oh come on I know that Josh at least. I've got no idea. So I'd gone to the, I've gone to the thing to pump up my tires. I had no idea what number they needed to go to go. again. I got the little coin. I've still got the little coin Rob. No, yeah, so basically what it is is if you put the thing on the tie, you know the little valve that on the tire. No, but you won't you. When you put it on there, it registers and tells you how much is in it on the little screen up there and then you just

fill it until you what it has to be at and normally that has to be out it normally is normally says on your little car screen or if not you can Google it or look in a little handbook. Right I just panicked went in got the to the number of. the toys. the the to the number the number to the numbers the numbers to the numbers the numbers the numbers the numbers the numbers the numbers to the numbers the numbers the numbers to the numbers the numbers the numbers to to the numbers the numbers to to to to to to to to to to to the numbers numbers numbers numbers numbers numbers to to to to their their their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. th their. th. the. the. try. the. the. their. their. the the the the. the the. the. that that that that that that that though? I don't know, I thought it would say like... Hi Josh. Like with a petrol gauge or something, it would just tell you where you were men to put it up to. Well, it would just stop when it's full. Yeah, something like that. And then I was like, imagine if I exploded my tire. Like there'd be so many injuries.

Yeah, the thin's than's than's than's than's than's than's than's than's than's th But yeah, no, you can just google it and find out. You've got a BMW, have you? I've bought a thing off the internet now. I've bought a home pump so that I could do it without the pressure of other men being around. Yeah, but you don't have a drive, you park, you street park, so there'll be black cab drivers driving past shouting at you. Yeah but my fear was getting in a queue. Someone else needing to pump up their tires while I'm trying to pump up my tires. Oh yeah, that is the worst. So I was like I just can't deal with this. I'm fair enough mate. You've had a busy week. Yeah. Do you know I bet you know who knows how much you need in your tires. I bet race stubs. I bet race never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never thubs never thubs never thubs never thubs never thubs never thubs never thubs never thubs never thubs never thubs never thubs never thubs never thinks never thinks never thinks never thinks never thinks never thinks never thinks never thinks never thinks never thinks never thinks. thinks. I thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks never never never thinks never thinks never never thinks never thinks never thinks never thinks never thinks never thinks never thinks never thinks never thinks never thinks twice never thinks twice thinks twice thinks twice thinks twice thinks twice thinks twice thinks twice thinks twice thinks twice thinks twice thinks never thinks twice thinks never thinks twice thinks never thinks twice about getting his ties. I bet he's also checked his oil, something I haven't done in a year. Volvo Estate all day long race tubs.

He could afford more, but he's a sensible guy. He likes safety and secure it in the Volvo. Exactly. Should we do some small business shout-out? And then I'll tell you a bit more about my week and we have all the correspondence on Friday. Lovely. Oh, this one's a bit different, not really a small business shout out, but a good cause. So let's give this a shout-out. Hi, Rob and Josh, I'm 26 and I don't have kids, but hearing all your stories has really helped me through the last year, and as reminded me, it could be worse.

On the back of all the stories of an alternative use for them. If framing it isn't your thing, you could donate your baby's cord to an umbilical cord bank. The blood in the umbilical cord is rich in stem cells. These stem cells can be used to treat people with blood cancer and could save someone's life. At the moment there are five hospitals in the UK which collect cords from parents who are willing to donate. King's College Hospital London, St Mary's Hospital, Oxford Road, Manchester, St Mary's Hospital within Shore, Manchester. Oh, well, that's confusing, isn't it, Manchester?

Soldiers, just change it. Just change it. It's on a different road. Same name. Lester Royal Infirmary, Leicester, Lester General Hospital. If any of your listeners are planning to give birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth birth the the to the to to the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to to to to your listeners are planning to give birth at one of these hospitals, it is really straightforward for them to register or donate online at now here it is. HTTPS dot the hot. Oh no, oh no. It's um, oh god, it's all over again. HSTTPS double dot, what's that even called? Colon. It's forward slash forward slash W W W W dot sound like me reading out my book when I'm drunk

It's Anthony Nolan dot org forward slash help dash dash save dash a dash life forward to donate dash your um fuck say uh let's go again just go on Anthony Nolan do you help save a life donate your umbilical call you'll find it why don't we Instagram out the address I think that's for the best. I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. I that's th. I th. I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's Anthony Nolan.org, help save a life, donate your umbilical calls, you'll find it. Why don't we Instagram out the address? I think that's for the best. Let's do that, we'll do that on, on Tuesday.

We'll put that. Yeah, yeah. to they Nolan. Let me just Google Anthony Nolan. Let me just Google. . umbilical cord and see if you can find it straight away look it's basic first result Anthony Nolan okay Google Antin Nolan.org there we go what we do help save a life and donate your umbilical call you just go to Anthony Nolan's website help save a life donate your umbilical call that's easy you don't want

to typing that shit in also also it's less weird it's less weird to donate it let's note to thi to tho th also th also also th also th also th also th also th also the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th th th the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the to the the the the the the the to donate it. Let's be honest. It's not even less weird. It's a brilliant cause and great things to do. It's not less weird. It's fucking weird keeping it. Get rid. Chuck it in the fucking bin. Or better, donate it to help save someone's fucking life, you nutter. Don't frame it, you're fucking freaks. Sick of it. Oh, keep that. Give it someone else who needs it. Um, sorry. Stem cells that could be put to you is drying on your on your counter.

Unbelievable. Hello. I absolutely love your podcast. I've been telling my parents, friends, listen, I don't have kids so take great pleasure and enjoying my eight hours sleep a night, being able to go to the pub whenever I want. Anyway, my friend or I've recommended your podcast to has a lovely little business making hair scrunchies out of their daughter's old clothes that they're now too small for her. It's eco-friendly, sustainable business. She also gives a percentage of the profits to a women's charity.

Oh lovely. Her Instagram handle is at Humble dot Maine's M-A-N-E-S. She even makes mini scrunchies for kids too. Thanks so much and so happy you're back after the euros. Bloody hell, we've had this this one sitting here for a while. She's probably folded the business is folded. Sorry that you're worried about the third spike ruining your tour. Be careful with running it can be dangerous out there. Yeah, exactly. Right, thank you very much. Listen, everyone. We'll be back with a correspondent special on Friday and then a guest the week after.

Thank you very much and we'll see you next week. Cheers. Bye. Bye.