Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S03 EP28: Michael McIntyre

Episode Date: October 15, 2021

S03 EP28: Michael McIntyre Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant comedian and presenter, Michael McIntyre. Michael's fantastic new book 'A Funny Life' is available now: http://smarturl.it/AFunnyLife In A Funny Life, Michael honestly and hilariously shares the highs and the lows of his rise to the top and desperate attempts to stay there. It’s all here, from his disastrous panel show appearances to his hit TV shows, from mistakenly thinking he’d be a good chat show host and talent judge, to finding fame and fortune beyond his wildest dreams and becoming the biggest-selling comedian in the world. Along the way he opens his man drawer, narrowly avoids disaster when his trousers fall down in front of three policemen and learns the hard way why he should always listen to his wife. Please rate and review. Thanks - Rob and Josh xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] TWITTER: @parenting_hell INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully, hoa' they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello you're listening to Parenting Hell with. Harris, can you see Rob Beckett? Rob Becker.

And Josh Widdickam. Josh Winnockham? Not the best attempt of my name from Harris. Go on, Harris. She sounded Scottish or American, that lady. She is Scottish. Yeah. Scottish. Her email is called Scottish two-year-old's intro for you. Hi both. Here's a we intro for your, from my two-in, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, to, to, Josh, to, to, Josh, to, to, Josh, to, Josh, to, to, Josh, Josh, to, to, and to, and to, and, and to, Josh, Josh, and to, and to, and to, and Josh, and Josh, and Josh, and Josh, and Josh, and Josh, and Josh, and Josh, and Josh, and Josh, and Josh, and Josh, and Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh. to, Josh. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to-a, to-I's, to-I's, to-I's, to-I's, to-I's, to-I's, to-I's, to-I's, to-I. to-I. two-year-olds intro for you. Hi both, here's a wee intro for your, from my two and a half year old called Harris, who's just found out he's going to be a big brother, loving the podcast, Ami.

Harris, short for Harrison, do you imagine? I don't know, yeah. Harrison's a bit of an American name, I think, oh, George. Have you read that book with your kids? Oh no, I don't, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. Ha, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. th. H. th. th. th. th. th. tha, tha, tha, tha, tha'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a, tha, tha, your kids? Oh no? I don't really they'll be too old for it now. Yeah I think so we sort of that with they're read on their own now. They're read on their own now they don't really need me. Yeah they just read him piss here don't. They're just piss here don't they're in the book. And books out of books. And books. I'm bored of my book. I the book. I's the shop. I's the shop. I's the shop. I's the the their their their their they's they's they's they's they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're read. I read. I read. I read. I read. I read. I read. I read. I read. I read. I they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're about our books. I reckon you talked for about 6.5 seconds about your book there, Rob. Yeah, I know, I'm bored of my own voice. I'm sick of it. I'm on Jonathan Ross talking about it next week, I think. Oh, well, there we go.

Hi, Rob and Josh. Yes. We love the podcast. I listen the bank holiday my husband and I were enjoying a rare moment of quiet whilst our children were building Brio train tracks together in another room. Ah. We sipped our drinks awaiting the inevitable arguments to come. None came. By now you'd have thought we'd be wise to enjoy prolonged quiet. It is never a good thing. After 10 minutes an unexpected scream came. It's eating my hair. What? My husband and I looked at each other wondering what new sibling rivalry this could be. To our surprise, the culprit was not a younger brother, but a battery-powered Brio train. Oh no! As our daughter entered the kitchen we could see the train slowly climbing its way up a

section of her hair to the top of her head. He's eaten my hair! As it did, a chunk of hair was winding tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their to the top of her head. He's eaten my hair. As it did, a chunk of hair was winding tightly around the wheel. Oh no. We managed to stop the vehicle but found it was completely entangled. Oh God. We held our breath and put the train into reverse. No way. In the hope that would make the journey out of the hair the way it came. Of course it didn't. th, the th, th, th, the th, th, th, th, th, the th, th, the tho, tho, the tho, tho, the tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, the thi, the the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tie, thi, thi, thi, to, to, to, to, toge, togu. togu. togu. togu. togu. togu. togu. togu. togu. toguuu. toguu. course it didn't. Oh, I thought it was gonna.

After a good hour of reversing tears and cries of pain, we concluded it was well and truly stuck. Oh, we had definitely made it worse trying to solve the problem. Our newly purchased lockdown hair dreshing scissors along with supplies were required. Oh my god, they had to cut the hair. She now has a large tuft of short hair right on top of her head. Oh! The mangled train will now only go in small circles on the floor as it is missing two wheels on one side. Oh my god. From Catherine and Ian in Bedfordshire. I mean I think there's

lots of stories about that like kids cutting each other's hair and stuff. If you've got any hair, hair, hair based in their hair, their hair thi th story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story stories. th. If th. If th. If th. If th. their th. th. their their their their their their their their to th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their their their their their their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. teat. te. tea. te. te. te. te. te. te. their. their their their their their, getting their hair cut, let us know. And pictures as well, we'll stick on Instagram if you're happy for a team. It's eating my hair, mummy. That is an awful thing to hear, isn't it? Just the vision of the kid with the train coming up the hair. Just slowly. Like a horror film. Yeah, it is. Oh, we've got some more things that don't have an opinion on. I'll whip through these. Oh, yeah, yeah, go for it. How the world begun, just not that bothered.

Thanks, Peggy. Things I don't have an opinion on, whether a jaffer cake is a cake or a biscuit. Yes, a great one. Don't give a shit. I don't have an opinion on which, How does it make any difference, Lynn from Wiggin? This is my favourite feature ever. Things I don't have an opinion on. Whether it's cream or jam first on a scone, couldn't give a shit, just eat the bloody thing. It all mixes together in your belly anyway, Charlotte.

Oh God, yes, they are excellent. Keep them coming. I like their short shop. Should we call a jingle for that or something? We could do me, th me, th me, th me, th me, th me, th me, th me, th me, th me, th me, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, thi, thi, tho, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. This, th. This, th. This, th. This, th. This, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom. This, thi. th short shop. Should we call the jingle for that or something? We could do with me but you know I don't really have an opinion on whether we need one or not. I couldn't give a shit if Michael does it or not. I'll never listen back I won't know so it doesn't bother me. Zen in it. Let us know if you have no opinion on things. Hello what is it parenting hell? Go that UK? Something like that? Yeah, something like that. Can't be my response all the time.

Don't we have an opinion on if there is a web. It's not really opinion is it? There is either an email or there isn't? Um, I've got to have too much coffee. I'm talking so fast. I've got to go for a walk with Louise, my wife and then pick the kids up from school. Right, I've got a good Instagram message here.

This is, hi Rob and Josh, I just listened to the episode about weird things people were to bed and thought it was worth sharing. When I was 13, I went on a French exchange and went to a school, different of France and was parned it up with a girl. This is from a girl called Eloise, by the way. It's not an odd pairing of teenagers. I had to share with her for a week, horrific in brackets. Every night she would put a full outfit on. We are talking jeans, a top and socks, the full works. Get into bed, sleep, and wear the clothes to school the next day. So I think she was saving the close the close by getting dressed in the evening. So she was getting dressed before bed? Yep, she didn't

shower the whole week. Oh my word. Almost definitely say she smelled worse than Josh's adrenaline sweats. To top it all off her name her, her name was hoda, pronounced odour. It was the worst week of my life. I'm over the adrenaline sweats now. Are you? Are you sweating normally or just no sweats because you're calm? I don't really sweat much unless I've drunk. So I sweat at night. For years, I thought, for about the first six or seven years of my relationship,

it was the conclusion of me and Rose was that I was someone just sweated loads at night. And then we had a child and I stopped drinking as much. It turned out, I didn't sweat at night. It was just I was drinking too much alcohol in my life. So would you like have a couple of beers every night before bed tapiding or wine? No, I'd go out on the last three times a week.

All right, okay. So by the time you've recovered you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've the age of 18 to 34, I just presumed I was all tired. Hey, what? Because thing is, you're a bit of a sesheed for such a, you know, what on paper is, massive sort of virgin nerd, you're pretty cool. You're a bit of a sort of, you're a bit of a sort of, I was saying this to rubbish the other day, thi-you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're, you're, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I was, thi, I was, thi, I was, I was, I was, thi, I was, I was, thi, I was, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thi. went, I was saying this to rubbish the other day, obviously now we're all parents a bit boring, but back in the day at the start, you're a bit like a cool, edgy, indie comic. You looked like the lead sin of an indie band and you used to go out drinking and having a party like you was in a band. Yeah, I did, I did like a night. You're a pretty cool edgy guy out. You're a pretty, you're a pretty, you're a pretty, you're a pretty, you're a pretty, you're a pretty, you're a pretty, you're a th. You're a th. You're a th. You're a th. You're a th. You're a th. You're a pretty, you're a pretty, you're a pretty, you're a pretty, you're a pretty, you're a pretty, you're a pretty, you're a pretty, you're a pretty, you're a th. You're a th. You're a th. You're a pretty, you're a pretty, you're a pretty, you're a pretty, you're a pretty, you're a pretty, you're a pretty, you're a th. You're a th. You're a th. You're a th. You're a th. You're a th. You're a th. You're a th. You're a th. You're a th. You're a th. You're a th. You're a th. You're a th. You're a pretty, you're a pretty, you're a pretty, you're a pretty, you're a pretty, you're a pretty, you're a pretty, you're a pretty, you're a pretty, you're a pretty cool th. You're a pretty, you're mate. You were. You look really cool. You had cool clothes, cool

air and stuff like that. But hey, I look better now. I've got cool glasses. No, no, you look nice. You look like, you dress nicely. You look nice. Then you looked a bit like, this guy could go and do anything. He's quite rock and roll. I used to wear bootcut jeans when I started doing comedy. Yeah no, but that was depressingly this is th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I look tho. I look, th. I look, I look, I look, I look, I look, I look, I look, I look, I look, I look, I look, I look, I look, I look, I look, I look, I look. I look. I look. I look th. I look th. I look th. I look th. I look th. I look th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I look th. I look th. I look, th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. I look, tho. I look, I look, I look, I look, I look, I look, I look quite rock and roll. I used to wear bootcut jeans when I started doing comedy. But that was depressingly, this is how old we are. That was what was in fashion then. Looking back now you don't look cool in those photos, but for the time you were cool, Josh you were cool. He was out part he was Chris Evans of the nauties. I had an edge. Of the tens. Of 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10. He the tens. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was the tens. He was the tens. He was the tens. He was the 10. He was the 10. He was the 10. He was that was that was that was that was that was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He. He. He. He. He. He. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was the the the the the the th. He was the the th. He was th. He was th. He was you got on the tele first, you was all chatting with blur, you'd go to gigs. Do you want to know?

But I can still do that. I can still do that. No, you can't. You've been, but you've got a bed at half nine. Look at my phone sometimes the texture. foot of his bed like a fucking Alsatian. You know Danny, our agent's mate Alan, he drives us sometime. He's driven you before I think. Lovely bloke, South East London, proper geyser, loves dogs, you know, you know, um, Danny, our agent's mate Alan, he drives us some time, he does, he's driven you before I think.

Yeah, yeah. Lovely bloke, South East too, he's got his staffy dog, and he's talking about his mate Shih Tzu, and you know what, his turn of phrase just gets you? He went, yeah, because they had this little shi-so, and I tell you what, they are game little fuckers. He's talking about the craze, he's taken, they's to mind, they, they, to-a, to-a, to-a-a-s, to-s, to-s, their-s, their-s, to-s, their-s, tha-s, tod-s, tod-s, you's-s, you're, you're-s, you're-s, he's-s, you're-s, you're-s wheelie case right with some clothes in he went oh she's only packed me a wheelie case of clothes I was like we're away for three nights mate I was

like what was you gonna do and I got me coat and a pair of jeans I was like was that was that gonna be it anyways she packed in this wheeled an he's and he he refused to wheel it and he refused to we' he he's he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he carried gay I can't wheel that. I mean, it's not out of it, I'll carry it. So old school. Lovely bloke though. Big shout out to Alan for stepping in at the last minute for the driving. Do you want to hear how much I've lost my edge before Michael McIntyre? Oh yeah, go on to. And you feel bad for not going. Both times we just we got like sent them a gift. Like so it was my friend it was Ben Clark 40th right? Yeah and we didn't go so we sent them a bottle

of champagne. Yeah that's a nice thing to do because it's you know you feel bad. Yeah and in your head you're going actually we had this conversation where like if anything if you think about we've saved money because the cost of the night would have been more than the bottle of champagne. So babysitting, taxes, drinks, drinks, exactly. So social, yeah, having to talk to people you hate because, you know, there'll be people there you love, but like any do, there'll be annoying people. You've got to look at the social costcost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost cost. to. to. to. to. to. to, and to, and to, and the, and the, and the, and their. their. their, their, their, the any do they'll be annoying people you've got to look at the social cost of your of interactions yeah exactly and then obviously tomorrow I'll be hung over so I'd probably eat badly so that's another that's another take-what in knee deep in Roulard if anything mate

we're making money by not going isn't that pathetic it is a bit pathetic but you can we're getting older we're losing our edge. I've got this one really funny story to do before we bring out Michael McIntyre, okay? Here we go. Hi, Robin Josh, I've recently started listening to your podcast and I'm loving it. Despite not having children, my partner and I are planning on starting a family after our upcoming wedding in October, congratulations, guys. that tho-and th th th th th th th th th th th thus th thi thi thi thi to thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, to thi, thi, to tho-in, tho-upo-upo-upo-upo-upo' to to-upon, to-upon, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi, I, I, I, I, I's, I's, I's, I's thr-n' thr-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-mo'n'n'n'a-a-mc-a-mc-a'a'a'er, tho'n'n'n'a'er, too'n'n partner has had to have his sperm tested. Obviously, this is an awkward situation to be in anyway,

but you won't believe what you heard coming from one of the rooms. So apparently... Was it someone going, I hate my life? By the way, just someone I realized some people will just listen to the Michael McIntyre. That is a call back to come in for McIntyre. Yeah, if you're just coming for Macintyye, that would you need to listen to Tuesday for that to make sense. I wasn't obviously. I think we should put some sort of wall on it. You can't just turn up for big dogs like McIntyre.

Yeah, where were you at a start? If you're just in for Mac message boards, rather than people being happy, there's people complaining about where all these fans when we weren't any good, it's like, just enjoy yourselves! Oh dear. Yeah, so anyway, so apparently she heard sounds coming from another room. So basically you're sectioned off in some sort of like wanking prison, aren't you? Anyway, and they do provide videos for people to watch whilst making their deposit but for obvious reasons they they they they they they they they their they their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tha. thi thi thi. thoe thoe. So, thoan't thoe. thi. thoom? thoom? thoom? thoom? thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. thea. tea. tea. tea. tea. teiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. Just, just just just just just just people to watch whilst making their deposit, but for obvious reasons they can't have the original audio on it because he can't have that bling up polno who's blasting in the corridors of the hospital. He said that he is he is 100% certain they had put the Lord of the Rings audio over the video so it just sounded like a man was getting his

jollies to a fight scene in Lord of the Rings. To say he's traumatized is an understatement. I'm assuming it was two people having sex with that over the top or he was literally wanking to Lord of the Rings. They're the two options. Keep up the podcast guys, it's keeping a lot of people saying. From Annie. Do you know what Rob? One of the only ways to to get the boredom to to to the bo bo bo bo the the bo the th of th of th of th of th of th of th of th of th in th in th in th in th in th in th in th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho is a thi. thi. tho is a tho-a' is tho-like is tho-like, tho-like, tho-s, tho-s, tho-s, tho-s, th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I to' tha, thas, thas, thas, thae, thae, thae, tha-s, thau. I's, thau. I'm thau. I'm tha of the Rings film. I know, but it's a trilogy, three wanks back to back. It's a tough test over nine hours. Jesus, wept, I hated those movies. Also it'll be awful as well if you did deposit and you just heard, my precious. thus.

Right, this is Michael McIntyre. Enjoy it, people. Hello, Michael McIntyre. We're very excited to have you on. I feel like a big moment in the podcast to have the big dog on. Hello, my friends. I insisted we had a Zoom together rather than an audio thing. It's so that I can hover over your pictures and know who you are. I'm sorry about that. I just really, I really don't like three-way audio call. I never know who's about to talk. At least when you can see someone, you get a sense. You know what I mean? They're about to say something. And I always miss time it. And then I'm always talking over somebody else and it's just an absolute disaster. It's fine, it's fine. And I'm excited we did zoom because I can see your, some Lego you've got in the back background there. The Hogwalt's Castle, is that? Well actually that's my house, that's a representation. This is my son's office. this is my son's office.

Yeah, it sounds crazy, doesn't it? We had this spare room so and he collects all these, you know, he's a collector. What they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they call they call they call they call they call they call they call their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the th. th. t. t. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too and he collects all these, you know, he's a collector. Oh, what are they called them, little pop-head things? Yeah, he's got too many of them. He's got a lot of them. Wow. Can't just say that you've got the ultimate parent thing in that your name on Zoom is your son's name. You're absolutely right. computer. Basically, I can't even say children anymore because they're like 16 and 13, but I don't know what to call them. The young men that live with me that I produced. As you can see, already within the opening 30 seconds, they rule my life. I have to, they've taken the computer. I mean, they make their own money now. That's not something I've asked them to do. I've got no control over them at them at them at them at them at them at them at them at them at their their their their their. I. I. I. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I've their. I've their. I've their. I've their. I've their. I've their. I've, I've their, I've their, I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've their, I's, I's, I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's, I've, I've, I've their. I've, I'm, I'm, I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've theeeanan. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've their. I've their. I've their. I've got no control over them at all. And yeah, so he took this room, which I suppose should have been my office, and one day will be. But it's hard, though, isn't it to sort of say you need an office when you're a stand-up comedian?

Like in business, in offices they call it hot desking, don't they? Where you just sort of sit, I have that with my laptop, they table or I do a lot of work in bed is that is that something that you do on your laptop is like depends on what are you doing on the laptop Michael in bed I think what constitutes work well I call it work but always lock the door yeah that is really working so let him crack on back to school signals a fresh start for students new classmates new teachers new lessons change is in the air but one thing hasn't changed School signals a fresh start for students. New classmates, new teachers, new lessons. Change is in the air. But one thing hasn't changed.

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not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber one for students, a membership to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary, eligibility and member terms apply. And so you've got two boys 13 and 16, is that right? Yes, I don't know how it happened. I mean, I know how it happened because time goes very quickly.

And older people say that all the time, don't they, about, you know, where did it all go? But yeah, I don't know whether to call them children. They have become teenagers. And I started doing gigs again, and I think it even ages the audience as well, because they know all my jokes about when they were babies and kids. I was making jokes about You know my wife's pregnancy and now, you know, they're no longer children. They're sort of teenagers And you know, they're not toddlars. We sort of sit around watching Love Island together Which is it? And now the son's just got into that age where which we were hoping would happen where he? Well girls have come?? to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the their? their? their? their? their? their their their their their? their? their their their their??? their their? their. their. their. their. their. their. their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their. their? their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their? their? their? their? I. their te. te. te. toguu. te. togu. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their the son's just got into that age, which we were hoping would happen, where girls have come into his school. I mean, I haven't talked to him about it.

But he's definitely, you know, he's going to the gym and he's started washing his hair without being asked repeatedly and, you know, brushing his teeth. So I think that he's making an effort. Because that's what girls do, don't they? They suddenly make you do all the things naturally that you've been shouting at to do. And do you find it easy to talk to them about stuff like that? I know I'm going to be very awkward around discussing stuff like that when my children are teenagers. I literally just, I've not bossed it up

and I have no intention of being good. Now, I'm hoping he'll get hea hea. I mean, I couldn't do it. I know. Isn't it because some parents are amazing, aren't they? Yeah. What about yourselves? Did you sit down? Did your parents? No. No. Birds and the bees? I mean, even the expression the birds and bees shows how anxious it is a subject to Tucker. We have to talk about birds and bees who I'm concerned have never had a relationship with each other any of them. That's probably, that's definitely wrong.

So birds are shagging bees. That doesn't seem right, mom. This is terrible advice. Yeah, I never had any birds and bees. I think my mom gave me a condom once when I was going out in a night out and I think I was physically sick and cried. I can imagine. months when I was going out in a night out and I think I was physically sick and cried. Just so the panic and the stress of that. I get a much. So it must be difficult. Do you, like, you've just, you've written your second book, autotopy. So we better give that a plug. But also as well,

did you find that you were reflected in your time of your kids growing up? You talk about, you know, the birth of one of your children and the birth the birth th. the births. th. th. the births. th. th. the births. th. You. You. You. You. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It must must must must must must must must must must must must must must must must must must must must must must must must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must the birth. It the birth. It the birth. It the birth. It th. It th. It th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's. It's. It's th. It's. It's. It's th. It's. It's th. It's th. It's the th. It's the th. It's th. It's the the their the thi. It must be must be must be must be must be must be must be must be to. It must must be must be must be to. It must must must the the the forget in the car seat and things like that, which I'm sure we'll come on to. So did now writing that book, did you feel like you were like, oh my god they are like young men now? Well it was nice to stop and reflect, but do you don't have a chance to do that? You remember the life as it used to be? Do you have the to their life before? Yeah, yeah, it was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all, they were all, they were all, they were like, they were like, they were like, they were like, they were like, they were like, they were. they were. they were. they were. they were. they were. they were. they were. they were. they were. they were. they. Oh. Oh, they. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, they're all. Oh, they're all. stops and I think you both had the same solution did you both wrote books did you as well yeah yeah yeah we both wrote book when the theatre is a shot what else we're gonna do I thought it was a great idea yeah literally every comedian is it is an author now yeah there's so many books coming out we shared an audio book recording didn't well not an audio book recording, but we're in the same building. Yeah, it sounds like we sort of read

every other word of each other's book. It's your turn now, the morning of the, yes, we were in the same recording place. Because I went in, I think this reflects how sweet you are, Josh. So I went in for the recording and I didn't the, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th.. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, So I went in for the recording and I didn't feel well. I had a, you know, like a coffee, you know, all the, not all the symptoms, but a couple of the go-to symptoms when you start mentioning it, people like really back away. So I said, I'm not feeling so well. And you know, the producer was like, you know,

trying to open a window and somebody was carrying in're with, but it's like, I mean, my kids are amazing at it because they're used to it now. They go to school, they go in the throat, in the nose and they off, out the door. For me, as soon as I start unpealing that swa blue. Yeah. Yeah, I'm doing all that. Anyway, it comes back and I get the one line, the satisfying one line. And then they said, oh, Josh is in the next booth. Do you want to go and say hello? So I, for some reason, I took this result to him to show him that I didn't have COVID.

But Josh is so sweet that he thought I was showing him that I did have COVID and not only was I showing him, I was showing him in a sealed booze more air and his first reaction was, oh you poor things. Rather than get the hell out of his boo. There is no ventilation in here. You went, oh no, you don't, do you? Do you remember remember this? Josh what was you thinking? I was just thought you can't throw someone out who's just had that news can't you? You can't twist the knife. Oh well that's just very sweet and you've got to completely panic like I think

I think you almost didn't come and give me a hug or so do you need a hug? Give me a kiss, come on. Did you enjoy doing an audio book? Did you find that kind of, because I see you as someone who loves being in front of an audience and so you're kind of performing to silence that. Well, to one person, to the producer. As soon as I came to see you, I watched a bit and I saw that your producer was laughing and made it a point to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th.. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. the thi. their thi. their their thi. thi. the thiolomeomeomeome and I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm throome. I'm tiea. Ia. Ia. Ia. Imoooooooooooooooomeoooooomorrow. Ia. Ia. Ia. Ia. I'm. I'm try. I'm that your producer was laughing and made it a point to tell you she's laughing because you need to know that because you can't hear it. You know whenever you record

anything and no one's laughing because they're told to be quiet and you're always looking for the crew and the state and everyone's giggling and if they're not you start to lose your mind and think you know I'm this is terrible I can't do this. So this. this. this. this. this. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. thi. This is thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th. th. th th th. th th th th th th th th th th. th th. th th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thee. the the the the to the you the the to the the the the thi. the the thi. the the thi. the. So yeah, for the first few chapters, I was really worried about this guy because it wasn't really doing anything. He didn't, he looks annoyed. He had that, you know that sort of pre-sniece face, but he never sneezed. You got that sort of, ugh. And I thought, oh, my God, this guy hates me. And then we got to a chapter when there was a story about, I think. I think I mentioned a joke a that a tho the cupboard and you went, oh, we labeled all our herbs and spices in a section of the cupboard called the Macinshires because of your joke and I was like, this guy loves me! So then we had to go back and re-record all the first six chapters, me thinking that he loved me and I did it a lot better, I think. It's amazing how that confidence really helps. Yeah, totally. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tho tho thi thi thi thi the the, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. We th. We th. We th. We thi. We thi. We thi. We thi. We thi. We thi. We thi. We thi. We thin. We thin. We thin. We thin. We thin. We'll thin. We'll thea. We'll thin. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea I did it a lot better I think. It's amazing how that confidence really helps.

Yeah, totally. Just also how vulnerable we all are as comics. I just need them to love me that's why we do it. But like in lockdown, I mean that's one of the things I suppose is that I did struggle with is that people don't find me funny in this house. I don't, I don't, they're not. they're not find they're not funny they're not funny they're not funny. They're not they're not they're not they're not like they're not like they're not like they're not like they're not like they're not like they're not like they're not like they're not like they're not like they're not like they're not like they're not like they're not like they're not f f. I they're they're their their their their their their their. their. I their. I their funny. I'm their funny. I'm their funny. I'm funny. I'm funny. I'm funny. I'm funny. I'm funny. I'm funny. I'm funny. I'm funny. I'm funny. I'm not funny. I'm not funny. I'm not funny. I'm not funny. I'm not funny. I'm not funny. I'm not funny. They're not funny. I'm not funny. I'm not funny. I'm not funny. I'm not funny. I'm not funny. I'm not. they're not funny. they're not funny. I'm not funny. they're not funny. I'm not funny. I'm not funny. I'm not funny.they're not, I don't, they're not fans. I mean, they're actually openly said they don't like, stand up, and they don't laugh at, and anything I particularly say. When it was deep into lockdown and I was really, you know, missing that, I mean, sure, everybody does this, it's sort of, you know, you make quick, quips when you're sometimes, you know, you'd make a thi, quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite, that's quite, that's quite, that's quite, that's quite, that's quite, that's quite, that's quite, that's quite, that's quite, that's quite, that's quite, that's quite, that's quite quite quite quite funny, that's quite funny, that's quite funny, that's quite, and that's quite funny, and that's quite, and that's quite, and that's quite, and that's quite, and that's quite, and that's quite, and that's quite, and that's quite, and that's quite, and that's quite, and that's quite, and that's quite, and that's quite, and that's quite, and that's quite, and that's quite, and that's quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite quite quite quite, quite quite funny, quite funny, quite funny, quite funny, quite funny, quite funny, quite funny, quite funny, quite funny, and that's quite funny, and that's quite funny, quite funny, you're quite funny, you're quite funny, you're quite funny, and, you're quite funny, quite funny, and, and, you're, and, quite funny, and, and, and, that's quite funny, quite funny and you look around for a bit of a response. So that was going on for a, you know, a couple of months in lockdown. I was getting nothing. And then I said something and my son laughed and then my wife laughed and this was like after two months and then they really got the giggles. So you know how encouraging that is for a comedian.

So I was on a role, I was doing impressions. I actually felt like I was back. I'm at the O2 arena. All the old juices were flowing. And then I stopped telling jokes, but they carried on laughing. My wife kept laughing and my son was giggling. To such an extent, I was like, why are they still laughing? What's going on? Anyway, it turned out, my testicle was hanging out of my boxer. My son just teicle was hanging out. My son just kind of it, Dad, your balls hanging up. My son just kind of it, Dad, your balls hanging up. It was nothing to do with the jokes. At least you got something for the new tour though, Michael. You can open with that. Now you've got to close you to the bollic. You can't open the show with a boll. But at that point, that's the only material I had that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thagague that's that's the only material that's that's that's the only material I had that's that's that's the only material I had to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have the only material material material material material material material material material to have to have to have to have to have to have the only material I had the only material I had the only material I had the only material I had to review the only only material to review to review the only only material to review to review to review to review to reveal to reveal to reveal to reveal to reveal to reveal to. That is also the vision of you in full flow because when you are in full flow it's a false it's a false to be reckoned with there's impressions there's energy

you're just skipping across the stage your fringes flopping your balls flapping it's it must have been an amazing sight but that was it that was the only thing they laughed that. Yeah and then you know I had to take that one of the June and then we laughed at that. But no, no, not a lot of laughs, but I did miss that. I did have this thing with the, because outside of my family to make people laugh, it's only deliveries, that was my other opportunity to get a laugh. Was the Amazon guy. And I didn't know the first, you know they started doing that thing when when, when, when, when, when, the thing, the thing, the thing, the thing, the thing, the thing, the thing, the thing, the thing, their, their, their, their, their, their, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was. the. the. the. the. the. the, was, was, was. the. the. the. the. the, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was. the the the the they. they. the. the the. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. the the the the. to. to. you open the door they need a photo of the package with the door open. So this guy is on the other side of the door and he says, you're gonna need to open the door and I need to get a photo. So I thought he wanted a selfie.

I thought, of course he does. I'm a good laugh. When I walked out the house and I stood behind him waving and he just took a photo of the package. And you're not their cat. What, how is it with your kid so? And, you know, they're not a teenager finds their dad funny. But what about their friends at school and stuff? Do you still get attention like that? And that? And that? And that? And that? And that? And that? And that? And that, and that, and that, and that, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I's, and I's th, and I's, and I's tho, and I's tho, and I's tho, and I's tho, and I's tho, and I's tho, and I's tho, and I I I's tho, and I I I was, and I I was, and I I I I I I was th. And I I I I, and I I, and I I, and I, and I, and I, and I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I's th. And I's th. And I thi thi thi that, and I that, and I'm tha. And tha. And tha, and I walked, and I walked, and I walked, and I walked, and I walked, and I walked, and I walked, and I and they're teenagers now that you know that no teenager finds their dad funny but what about their friends at school and stuff do you still get attention like that and

do they find that frustrating or do they like it I think they throw that in every once in a while and I enjoy that they'll say you know some I'm sorry I didn't get any of that's speaking that's speaking that's speaking speaking speaking speaking speaking speaking speaking speaking speaking speaking speaking speaking speaking speaking speaking speaking speaking speaking speaking speaking speaking that's speaking that's s s s s speaking the to to the to the to the the the to to that's the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their that's their that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the of the time, a whole sentence, we, oh, I don't know, it's a lot of grunting. And then you go, I'm sorry, I didn't get any of that. He'll go, whatever, and then just leave. So that's the extent of a lot of our conversations. But my younger son, yeah, he'll say that, you know, his friends have seen stuff, and I like these. This is huge, this one. People love, I went to get my V,

I don't want to mention another podcast. We're all friends, we're all on the same team, Alan Carr's podcast, are you? Oh yes, yeah, we love Alan. So I had to get a visa. He went yesterday to the American Embassy, and they give you an interview to see if they want they want they want they want they want they want they want they want they want they want they want they want they want they want they want they want they want they want they want to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, I, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their to to to to to to to to to to to their, the country basically. It's quite nerve-wracking and they give you a file of everything I've ever done. So it's like Wikipedia and terrible things like that. But yeah, no, he listened to the Alan Khauser, I heard you on the podcast. And he really liked me because I was like,

thank God I did that. I got you into America. People love these things don't they? They do. People love these thee, don't th th th th th thi, don't thi, don't thi, don't the, don't that, don't that, don't that, don't that, don't that, don't that, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't th, don't, don't that, don't, and tho, and tho, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, their, their, their, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thoooooooooooooooooo, theat, their, their, their, their, their, th embassy is quite stressful. Me and Romash had to go there to get our visas for America. And basically the form you have, it used to be called like an alien form, I think it's called, which means that you can go there because you do something that's a bit extra, it's like a weird like overblown American thing. It's like the alien visa and as we're cued up to get in, the producer, the producer, the producer, the producer, the producer, and their, and their, and their, their, their, their, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used to be to be to be to be to be to be, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to be the to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be called, used to to be called, used to to be the the, used, used, usedthen me and Romash stood there and she gives Romish the form and he goes she goes oh we used to call you guys aliens I would I think you find the terms Asian he has something like that and the glare I got from the producer and the zero laugh I just put a dog's naughty they should put a head out of a walk when I went to do a gig I didn't realize that they don't know they don't know they don't they don't they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to they to they to to they're they're they're to to to to to they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to they they to they they to to to th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th to to the to their they're they're they they're they they they to America to do a gig, I didn't realize that they don't know the expression break America in America because of course they're from America.

So it's meaningless to them. So when I told the guy immigration I was here to break America. He thought, you know, it was like a threat. It was like, it was a big threat. And I made it worse. I was like, I'm going to give it my best shot. And the way to explain it to him. I mean, even when we go to Disney, I mean, I'm there, I mean, when the kids were young,

I mean, they're in, my son would wear like a big goofy hat, and we love Disney T-shirts. We're obviously, we're in th and we're in, we're in, we're in, we're in, we're in, we're in, we're in, we're in, we're in, we're in, we're in, th and we're in, the the th. th. th. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the thi, thi, I'm, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, to. that, that, I. th. things and they ask you that it's terrifying. They ask you what is the purpose of your visit? I'm like, are you serious? And it's the whole of Disney, there's no cue that's more stressful and longer than this is the most frightening ride of going to Orlando is immigration at the airport. Terrifying. How does it feel that as well? Because in your book you've wr-you thir, th. .

Terrify. How does it feel that as well? Because in your book you've write about when you first had your kids, you weren't as successful as you are now and things had really properly kicked off and stuff. So how is it now? Do they remember that period when there wasn't like the success and money and stuff compared to like now and do you remind them or do you how does it work? They're always just used to the lifestyle I have now? Well they're they they they they they they they they they're they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're always always they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're to they're to to to to they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to try. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th have now. Well, they're very grounded. And it's hard to me to say that they've got a normal lifestyle as you look at me sitting in my son's office. On this desktop computer, Apple Mac. Yeah, I don't know, they're very grounded.

I'm just very lucky, I think, because they're just, they're good boys. I'm not just saying that. I th th th th th th th th th th is think th is thi that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the thathea. that's that's thoomoomoomoomorrow. that's very very very thoomorrow. thoomorrow. thoomoomoomorrow. thiole. thiolomea. thiolomea. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thea. thea. thea. t t t t t together. together. theea. theiiiiiiiiii. thi. thi just they're good boys. I'm not just saying that they are. I think that's the aim and I'm glad it's happened and I've all credit to my wife who's just a really lovely person and amazing mom. But they've just become kids and now they're just like, they are like mates. I mean they're just, they're nice. I mean occasionally we'll have a flaming row. Which I'm not very good at. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. they's just just just th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr thr thr. they. they. the they. they. the their their the. their th. things kick those off? What's the big like bug bear? A lot of it is to do with the devices. There's a lot of the, because, but it's hard to discipline your child when you're also doing the thing, you're telling them not to do. Yeah, yeah, of course. We've got this thing where we shout when someone's on their phone, we'll shout, phoney, and thi! and th it it it start start start start start start start start start start, and thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, tho, tho, tho. devices, tho, tho. devices, tho. devices, tho, tho. devices, their, their, their, their, their, their, the's on their phone at the table and one person noticed they go, full house! I mean you tried it in a good game. That's a good game that. That's a great game. The only time I don't look at my phone is on a Monday when I get my weekly screen time report. That's the only time I can't bear to look. Oh my God I'm up 17 percent. I mean my son, my teenager, my to sleep looking at his phone and in a way I thought I think it's bad but then you know I always used to go to sleep.

I don't know what seems the radio when I was younger or watching TV. I mean it's just what young people do. But then he'll actually fall as I don't know if you do this but I won my phone. I want my phone sometimes at night I'm scrolling through my phone in bed and then I'll fall asleep and I'll drop the phone on my face, which then wakes me up and I'll just carry on the phone. And the same thing happens to my son. We know he's asleep when we hear it clunk on the thing because he drops his phone out of the bed and I'll turn to my wife and go, oh that's Lucas he must have nodded off. He's brought aown out of it down. Bang onto the thing.

So we argue a lot about that. Get off the phone, get off the computer. It's always on, you know, we lie to ourselves, don't he? As you're parents, I don't know if yours do any of this stuff now with the gaming. O'as are a little bit young. three and a one. You convince yourself that it's you know that it's social because they're talking to each other whilst they're shooting people. Is it

fortnight and stuff like that? Yeah fortnight I think luckily he's gone off fortnight for a bit it was completely addicted to fortnight and that was quite intense and you can't because you said apparently you can't pause it so I would say to them you've got to pause the game dinner, pause it. I can't pause it, I can't, it won't pause it. And then he explained the only way to come out of the game is to kill yourself. And then there was a period of this? Shoot yourself! On the face! I've been in your family home and it's a proper family home as well.

That's kind of, you know when you imagine like, kind of a big comedian who plays the O2, you imagine like it could be a soulless kind of existence, do you know what I mean? But it's a proper lovely family home, and do you try and keep them grounded like that? And did you try and create that? Because it seems just so nice, and so your life seems very pleasant, Michael. No, it does.

And I'm sorry to tell you, we've now moved into a vast soulless house. Ha ha ha. Let me just call my wife on the intercom and see when lunch is ready. Yes, it's the same for everybody, isn't it? I mean, we're living our family lives. This is why we can do what we do, because we are thankfully all living the same lives. When I go and talk about my life and you talk about your lives, the audience relate to it. And I've been asked that question a lot ever since you get you become successful. It's like can you think of anything funny to say that people can relate to? I mean obviously there

are certain things that I experience that I don't, you know, I don't have a lot of private jet material for example. I mean I do but I can't share it. It's got a niche, that one. But no, those days are right. Yeah, it's just normal stuff, isn't it? Everyone's doing the stuff. And I suppose the only slither of positivity of this terrible 18 months that we've been going through is that, you know, when we properly come out of it, I'm quite excited about properly gigging and reflecting humorously on such a shared experience. Because I've always liked it when people are going through the same thing.

I mean even if it's just like a heat wave or you know an election you just drill into that and you know we're all on the same page or the euros or whatever it might be. That's always where I've enjoyed sort of making jokes. Are you going to be alright with the petrol shortage or can the jet fuel up abroad? Look, we talk about panic buying a petrol. I've spent years of my life panic buying inappropriate snacks in petrol stations. I mean, there are things in there that I don't see,

I don't see pepperami in shops. Wheat crunchies, that's not in normal shops. Weed crunchyty. What even, what even, what even, what even, what even, what even, what even, what even, what th is, what th is, what th is, what th is, what even, what th is, what th is, what even, what th is, what th is, what even is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi, thi, th is th is th is th is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the to to to to to toea toea toea toea toea toea toea. toea. thea. thea. th. Wheat crunchy, what even is that? The worst one for me is the scampy fries. Scampy fries are so bad for your breath, but have you had a scampy fry in your life? Yes, I'm a fan to be fair. But the breath situation. They taste amazing.

Everybody knows that. But it's one of those foods where you have to to think, to think, to to to think, to to to to to the, to think, to to to the, to to think, the, to to the, to to thi, thi where you have to think about your relationship and whether there's any immediate intimacy in your life. Is there any chance of any action over the next few days? Because I'm basically ruling myself out here. It's a tour snack. That's why it's there for when you're on tour. It's an eight night. I don't care.

I'm just hungry. And I'm not going to to have a scampy fry. But you sort of have to go into isolation. The NHS should ping you after you have a scampy fly until you stay in your own for 14 days. I mean, have you ever tried to buy something when you're trying to be healthy or lose weight or anything in a petrol station? Because it's quite hard to know what to go for. Oh, you're better off of a pint of a pint of petrol. There's nothing in that shot that's going to be good for you. Screenwash. Oh dear. With the kids being older now, Michael, though, do you miss them the little fun toddler

age or you sort of happy that's over because it was so tiring? You know, all the sleepless nights as babies and stuff. Yeah, well, I love the evolution. I love the evolution. I love the evolution. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th th th th th the the the the that that that that that thathe thathe thathe thathe thathe thathe the the the thathe thateateateateateateateateateateathe the the the the the the the kids the the the the kids the kids the the kids the the the kids the the kids the the the kids the the the kids the the th. th. th. th. th. thathe thathe thathe thathe thathe thathe thathe that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that that that theat theateeateateateateate theeeeate the thate that. We wake them up. I can't imagine that feels like a parallel universe. When does that happen? Teenagers, they're crazy. I mean, they'll just sleep and sleep and sleep. So yeah, it's not a look at your face. It's so exciting. to their face.

to be you were touring so much back then and it sort of eased off now that you get a lion yeah it's not easy in the book you talk about the birth of your son and it doesn't paint you as the most kind of together father I suppose would be the way I'd talk about it is that is that a fair summation of it? Not a together person. No, no I'm a mess of a person that's always been the case. You know it's all been the completely haphazard so you're referring to when I was talking about my two the two jobs that I had the cord heating and then to put the car seat in but I don't know you you so you so you're you're you're at you're at you're at you're at at at the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to. the the to. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tod today. the the today. the the tog. the tog. the tog. tog. tog. to to to to to to to the to to. the car seat in, but I don't know. So you're at the car seat sort of stage. Yeah. Have they got easier car seat? No. They're so heavy.

It's insane. It's like the Atlas Stones in World's Strongest Man. They're so heavy. I don't know how they're so heavy. The problem I had was the, well, first of all, Yeah. Well, also I never really, I've not ever in my life had enough respect for instructions. I don't know when it happened, but do you remember when the quick start guide came into effect a few years ago, that was a great, that was a great play for me. Who doesn't go for quick start when it comes to? Who sits there with literally a book this big in every language in the world? And like a two-page and it goes, quick start guide? Who goes, do what I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do thi, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Do, do, do, do. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do the the the the two-page and it goes, quick-start guide, who goes, do you know what, I'm going to settle in and do this, I'm going to do it

in Japanese, I'm going to go through the hard thing. So yeah, I like to rush. I want to those people like you think, I can do this myself. I don't need the advice of the YouTube tutorials? That's an absolutely life-saber, isn't it? Everything. Somebody, it's so nice of them, but let's be honest, they're quite odd people. But when it was everything in life. I mean, because really basic, I bought something the other day and I couldn't, I just couldn't get it out of the package, let alone assemble it. So I went on YouTube, so I went on YouTube and somebody and somebody and somebody and somebody and somebody and somebody and somebody and somebody and somebody and somebody and somebody and somebody and somebody and somebody th somebody to somebody to somebody to somebody to somebody to somebody to somebody to somebody to somebody to somebody th somebody to somebody th somebody th somebody to somebody th somebody th somebody th somebody th somebody th somebody s somebody showed th somebody showed th amazing those things isn't it? Yeah, it's so good. Unboxing is a massive industry on YouTube where they just actually get like a

pack of cards or playing cards and like not playing cards but you know like baseball ones or basketball ones and just open the packet and then they just all scream and go, ah! You know, you know I've got to see what my sons do? They watch other people opening things. It's crazy in the YouTube. But, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've they're, I've they're they're, I've they're, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've th. I've they're, I've they're, I've they're, I've they're, I've they're, I've they're, I've they're, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I've th. I, I've th. I've th. I've th. th. th. th. thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that, that, that, they're they're they're just just just just Well, that's what my sons do. They watch other people opening things. It's crazy the YouTube thing. But also, they make so much money these YouTube. They're actually, because I've had YouTube's on the show and you know, you hear about them. And they're just, in fact, my son the other day wasn't doing his homework. the thanks, he's home, he to to to to to to to to. You need to do your own work. He said, I could be a YouTube.

I make loads money as a YouTube. What do you want me to be dead? A Spanish person? And it was a really good point. Yeah. I don't think Spanish is important to picking up tips on YouTube. How are you with children's TV? How are you had the opportunity to meet like people you found yourself watching

when you were a... I did meet, um, he's blanked me him for many years but I've got Mr. Tumble's phone number. No way! But he's blanked me a lot. Is he saved as Mr. Tumble or Justin Edwards? What's it's Mr. Tumble? Hold it I'll hear you. There's a few because I went through a phase of whenever I met anyone remotely famous, I'd get there under just because I found it quite fun. And some people just never get back to me. So have you text tumble? Well, over the years? Go through the correspondence.

What is your woman? Maybe it's under Justin Edwards. Oh, Justin Fletcher, sorry. Justin Fletcher, there's a Bishop Green on his, I'm afraid. The worst one was Andy Murray, never, never got back to any of my text. I mean, there was so much green, it was just endless. But then you surprised him in his bed at midnight? Well, yeah, because I texted him loads of loads of times. He never got back to me and I said, I said, I'm never doing again.

I don't know how texted Andy Mary. I was like oh you didn't you didn't fall into that trap again. He went he texted me back. I was like okay this is my chance. So I takes you him back. And when you won Wimbledon and he still didn't get back to me. You think he'd be good at returns when you know. Yes I then I woke him up in the middle the night night night night night night night night night night night night night night. the night. the night. the night. the night. the night. the night. the night. the night. the night. the night. the night. the night. the night. the night. the night. the night. the night. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. he a. he a. he a. he a. he a. I was. I was. I was. I was. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's t. He's t. He's. He's. He's t. He We had a lot of fun. It was in that place at George's Park, you know, where the footballers go. Yeah. He was recovering from an injury. We burst into his room with Ricky Hatton and Jerry Halliwell and he was, he was, he took it, and he was hilarious.

Texted him afterwards. You were such a great sport, Andy. Have you got the wrong number? I checked it. I checked it with him. I changed it with his mum when she came on the wheel. I was like, that's the land he's room. I'm checking with the mom. Do you know, Joe, I've got a fat at my whixte from doing the jungle, always gives his mum's landline number

because his phone, he's always losing his mobile and it's just easier so his mom always finds him go Joe I've got fat my whip bread on the phone can you go around for dinner on Sunday or not? That's so funny but now you see it when they read it that's a different thing yeah yeah brutal it is brutal isn't it Murray must have that turned off has he hmm his first rule of being Andy Murray is to turn off your red reports if that if you're blanking everyone I think athletes they they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to their to to to to to to their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their is their is their is their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their phone to someone they're like someone that you think you don't really look at your phone when you're doing sport do you? No you're right. If you go to the gym for an hour you don't look at your phone really kind of thing or if you're playing football or whatever so if you're doing tennis all day. If you're watching Wimbledon at the change of ends they were literally just of checking just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just their their they they they just just just just just just just they they just they just they just just they just they just just just just just you their. they just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. I I they they they just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just people. they they they they your text live on TV if you texted him between games you saw him look at his phone and got it. And where did that the bubbles start

when you can see that they're thinking and yeah about typing. Because the whole thing is I don't know if it's just for us as competes. You want people to think that you're quick you're not just winning you're all okay and if you need if there's too too too too too too too too too too too too too the the the the the the the the th the the the the th th the the the th. the th. to th. to to to to to to to to their to be to to their to be to their. their. their. their. to to to to to to be. to to be. to be. to to to to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. they. they. they. they. they. they. to. to. to. to. to. te. te. to. to. te. to. to. But. to. to. to. But. to. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. And if you leave, if there's too many bubbles and the typing goes on for too long, you're like, ah, I'm getting less funny every second. It's like a day, they're like, oh, a day, they're that. There's a lot of pressure on the bubbles. There's a lot of pressure on the bubbles. The the tipe the bupah is the bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu. their. th. th. th. th. thin, thin, thin, I. thi. I. thi. I. I's. I's. I's. I's thin, I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi. I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I's thi, I thi, I thi, I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I's thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm getting less thi. I'm getting less theee. I'm thi. I'm getting less theee thi. I'm thi. I'm thi, oh my God, that means they can see my bubbles and then you start, you go off so they can't see your, the whole thing is very, very stressful.

Don't beat yourself up about Andy Mara. Anthony Joshua has given me the same treatment, he never replies to me to me. I've had nothing to me. Oh, it's a hard one. And it sort of sits with you until you have to realize it's just not going to happen. Because you're still like, you know, when you send someone in text, it's like that sort of like you're opening something.

Until it's replied to you, even if it's just a, I do this that great fun and until they say yes it was it's like it just closes off the dinner as a success. And sometimes it's like a day and it's like have they texted back and it's like are they thinking was it fun? Yeah then you start to question everything that happened maybe I was a bit of a dick. Because you've got all this access to the you know all these celebrities you meet doing your shows? the big. the big. the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. their. th. th. th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's they. It's. It's. It's like. It's like. It's like, the. It's like, the. It's like, the. I. I. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. this access to the, you know, all these celebrities you meet doing your shows, the big show, The Will, for example, every like, now every episode, there's loads of celebs on that. Have you had to put any favors for your kids, people that they love or want to meet? Have you had to do that where you've not really wanted to?

Well, I'll be honest with you. but these are the funco pops that my son collects and the holy grail of a funco pop is a signed funco pop. Basically we do sometimes you know he'll come to me with like a wish list of like pops he wants to get signed because I'm doing the show in America if I get this visa today so that's very good for him so we're having like wrestlers on the show and they've all got the pops. Yeah so you're hosting the American American American American American American American like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. that's that's that's that's that's that's th. So. that's that's th. So. So. So. that's th. So. So. So. So. that's th. So. So. So. that's that's th. So. So. that's that's th. that's th. they've all got their pops. Yeah, so you're hosting the American version of the Will, is that correct, with American celebs? American celebs. So, oh, that's a Funko Pop Goldmine. It's basically yes, everyone's going to have a Funko Pop.

He's been rehearsing with me, how to go into? I'm such a big fan can you sign this? Yeah but do you walk in holding it or do you get it so you go in the room because I've done the world with you and you come in and you say hello to everyone and it really puts your ease and it's exciting but you what? that didn't happen with me? If I open the door and you're holding a fun fun. If I think you need to get it out halfway through the chat. That's interesting actually because this is the exact discussion I had with my son. I said they would be flattered but you think it might be creepy especially because they don't know me. No I don't think it'd be creepy I just think it enough it I would be flattered but I think you need to produce the Funko pop not have it on display like a Bible sort sort of of of of the the the th so're right it's a bit of a chat and I say I hope you don't mind. Mind but my son and I love you fans of yours. You know we've got would you

sign yes that's the strategy. What I would suggest is if it's quite a niche funco pop that's a collector's item and you're not really aware of the sleb. Don't quickly look at the box to get the name. I'm a massive fan of what's this one? I'm halfway to the conversation. When I worked briefly with a man called David Hustlehoff, he had a pocket full of sign photos of himself and he would hand them to everybody whether they asked or not just by walking past he would just hand them up like he was flying

this is the most of turning I'd ever see. He would just, anybody walk past, you go, hey, take one. And they would go, oh, thank you, whoever you are. Thank you, man from 1983. That's strong. That's, well that's American confidence, isn't it bravado. Well, maybe in America, it would be good just go straight with the fun copart. But is there a top of the list one that he wants or needs your son? Well, I don't know really. I mean he likes, yeah, big actors. I mean you'd have to ask him. I've got a few good ones for him. I got him Daniel Radcliffe from Harry Potter, that's a big one. I got, I found out that my accountant is the accountant of Tom Hardy, the amazing Hollywood actor who is actually three different Funkopops. He's one, he's, the th. He's, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is the thi, thi, is thi, is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, yeah, yeah, yeah, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, is th, is the the their their their their their their, is their, is their, is their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their thi, thi, thi, who is actually three different Funkopops. He's one, he's Venom, he's Mad Max. Who else would be? Owen, babe?

They should bring out the Tom Hardy from the Big Breakfast Funkop. I'd like to their account. So I said to my account, look, I'm sorry for my Ozzy, collects these things. I'd really like to get it signed. It would be amazing for him for his birthday. So yes, he texted Tom. Tom was very generous and said, you know, come and meet me so I sent someone to meet him. He was in a martial arts gym all day, just exactly what he'll expect. Oh, and you're shuffling and with a funco pop. Yeah, I'm sure. I'm shocked. I didn't go to get it. And then. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I th. I th. I th. I'm, th. I said, th. that, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come come come come come come come, come, come, come, come come, come come come come. Come, come come come come come. Come, come. Come, come come. Come, come. Come, come. Come, come. Come, come. Come, come. Come, come. Come. Come. Come. Come. Come. Come. Come. Come. Come. Come. Come. Come. Come. Come. Come. Come. Come. Come. Come. Come. Come. Come. Come. Come. Come. Come. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm t. t. t. t. t. tod. togu. togu. Come, t. Come, t. Come, t. Come go too embarrassed. So I said something you can get it and get it. And then I wanted to say thank you to Bain Tom Hardy, who was also like the craze.

He was both. He was both. He was both. He was both. He had a fight of himself. Huge, huge discussions with my wife over. What do you give Tom Hardy? Because you can't I mean

we can she herself offered my wife Lou would have offered herself up I think that to say thank you I'll go around Rob don't worry we'll say thanks for the fun copho I'm because you can't give you can't give flowers you don't give flowers you don't give flowers you don't give flowers you don't give flowers you don't give flowers you don't tho that's nice that that you that you that you that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the that that the that that the the that the the that that's the the the the the the that's the the that's the that's the the their that's that's to to to to to to to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their the. the. I the. I the. I their their the the the the. the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I gym, here's some flowers. Yeah. So I did actually get chocolates. I didn't know who eats chocolates coming out of a gym for eight hours. But think how much, think how many cows he's burning he can eat those chocolates it's fine if he's. I suppose he's earned it. He's earned it exactly. I can't imagine him eating chocolate though he looks too serious for chocolate. No I know well this is the discussion we went around around the c. He the c. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's the the the the the th. He's th. He's. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's e. He's e. He's e. He's that. He's that. He's that. He's that. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's th. He's th. I. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. He's th. He's th. He chocolate though. He looks too serious for chocolate. No, I know, well, this is the discussion we had. And that's where we went round and around in circles.

We found it very, very difficult. Because you can't, I don't know if he drinks, the drinking thing is weird. You'll give him a drink, yeah. I think he likes dogs. I think he's for a dog not another dog. That'd be a nightmare I've got a dog. Rob I feel that's quite bad advice. So do you have to thank you Tom. He was a chewy for your dog. It's dog chocolate. We've got your dog chocolate today is weird. So do you have a dog? No, no I've got

the dog now and I didn't know about the chocolate does kill dogs. I mean it's really really dangerous. What dog did you have? Well, you mean up until Easter morning? How dangerous is an Easter hunt? That would have been the shortest bubble type ever that Easter morning jump. You would have been proud of that on text. That hardly have seen the type. It was slightly, you're right. That wouldn't have got to the second bubble. What dog have you got? I've got a crazy dog.

He's officially a Norfolk Terrier, but he's had some, it's kind of like a recessive gene thing, so he's a recessive, a recessive, a recessive gene thing, so he's popped out, looking like no other dog there is. He's an exceptionally fluffy dog. So he's a beautiful dog that everyone stops and says what kind of a dog is that. And then I have to tell this whole, I say the word recessive gene a lot. Every time I go for a walk I have to say the word recessive gene. That sounds like when you're characters. Yeah, stay away from Recessive Gene. She's had a dark part. And where did you get the dog when the kids were older or were they younger?

Have you had to dog a little while? Well, a couple years ago, I think, maybe coming up for three years. Was it sort of like, rather than a third, to put you off being tempted for a thiiiiiiiii, the dog, thi, the dog, thi, thi, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, thi, thi, thi, to, thi, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th.... She, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, thi, thi, thi, too, thi, too, thi, tooomoomorrow, tooomorrow, too, too, too, tooomorrow, too, too, too, too, too, tothe dog to put you off being tempted for a third? Well we never wanted a dog. I didn't think I was a dog person. You know when you're not a dog person, you just can't see yourself having be a dog guy with that dog smell, you know, because sometimes my dog will run up to a person and they'll say, oh, you know, you must smell Beverly on me. It's basically you think a dog. It's basically you stink a dog. He's you you you you th you th. You're the smell. You're smell. You're smell. You're smell. You're smell. You're smell. You're smell. You're smell. You're smell. You're smell. You're smell. You're smell. You're smell. You're smell. You're smell. You're smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell. You're smell the dog. You're smell the dog. You're smell the dog. You're smell a dog. You're smell a dog. You're smell a dog. You're smell a dog. You're smell a dog. You're smell a dog. You're smell a dog. You're smell a dog. You're smell a dog. You're smell a dog. You're smell. You're smell. You're smell. You're smell. You're smell. You're smell. You're smell. You're smell. You're smell. You're smell. You're smell.. You're smell. the dog. the dog. the dog. the dog. the dog. the dog. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the dog. the the the dog. the the the the dog. the dog. the dog. the dog. you. I don't want to smell like a dog. So I didn't like it, but now obviously that's what happens. You get a dog completely fell to love with him and he's just a very sweet person and he's very sweet person and he's very fluffy and yeah it's going really well and the kids love him and he's a great addition old Mac.

He's called Muck Fluffentire. I should tell you his name. Oh, glove-entire, that is. So do you just call him Muk for sure? We call him Mack, but he doesn't answer to us because there's a problem. He's got a lot of allergies. So with dogs, the key to their heart is treats. So you want them to do something, they do it, you give them a treat, and the treat because he's got allergies. So whenever we go for a walk, he just basically tries to join other families because they have treats. Because he's like, why stay with these guys? They don't get me anything. The poor dog eats this like dry thing called kibble.

He doesn't get the treats. And the tell my wife, but that's... I give him a lot of cheese and chicken. Chicks and chicken. Well, I think, I just wanted to ask you about the book a bit more, Michael, because I feel like, I feel like we just talked to it. There we go, Mike, you've got a copy of it. A funny life. I'm really enjoying it. It's also what I've got the actual book. It's a fun book. Both of your books, can we plug each other's books? Your books are amazing, guys.

Thank you, Michael. We are mentioned in your book as well. You were very excited about telling me that me and Rob and Romesh get a mention. Well, I was actually in the, um, when we were in the audio book and I said, oh you must be in the book so I searched it up. And then I did offer you the key you're in a list for my thing of comedians who are performing at one of my charity shows and I did give you the option. I said if you would like me to bub you up the list. I just I couldn't do it. I said I'm right I'm here. What was the list? It was who done Michael's Christmas charity show, and me, you and Romesh were in it. Yeah, so who was it was I above, Josh, Josh above me? I don't know what, what order it was in?

Look, I've got to be honest, it wasn't alphabetized. It was the natural order that came from my mind. Oh, no, no. This is exciting. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, this is. Oh, oh, oh, this is. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, was. Oh, was. Oh, was. Oh, was. Oh, was. th. th. th. Oh, was. th. that. that. that. that. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Oh, was. Oh, was. Oh, was. Oh, was. Oh, was. Oh, was. Oh, was. Oh, was. Oh, was. Oh, was. Oh, was. Oh, was. Oh, was. Oh, was. Oh, was it was, was it was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, it was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I would have asked to go to the top if you'd ask me. Yeah, I mean that, of course you were wrong. I would have asked you to put Rob Beckett and some others. Yeah. Robbeckett at all. Oh. Oh, the bit in there though that made me laugh was the chicken pox. The chicken box. The chicken box. The chicken the there was was been there was been there was been there was been there was been there was been there was been there was been there was been there was been there was been there was been there was been there was in there was in there was in there was in there was in there was in there was in there. there was in there was in there. there. there was in there was in there was in there was in there on there on there on there on there on there on there on there on there on. I was on. I was on. I was on. I was on. I was on. I was on. I was on. I was on. I was on. I was in there. I was in there was in there was in there was in there was in there was in there was in there was in there was in there was in there was in there was in there was in a there was in a there. there. there. there. there. there was there. I was the the the there. I was there. It was there. It was there. It was there. It was there was there. I was there was there was there was there was me laugh was the chicken pox. The chicken box was on a holiday in paradise and your kid got chicken pox. Yeah he did. You know we were in the

Mauritius. Doesn't matter who you are or where you are chicken pox will get you with kids. Yeah we got stuck on holiday and he just came out in a terrible all over him spots and yeah and then of course you're on Google and you're looking up and apparently if you bathe in porridge in oatmeal it's very soothing because he was very itchy and he was crying. So I didn't argue with my wife about I wanted to wait till breakfast because it was part of the, you know, breakfast was included in the meal and I could get some of breakfast but if we order now it's going to be on the bill. Meanwhile he's crying in the corner covered in spots. They very kindly brought us a baby bath and the oatmeal and it was a lovely moment and he got into the baby bath and you could, he was stopped crying and spots all over his face, poor little thing. Anyway, after a period of

time and took him out the bath and I just threw it over the balcony without even thinking, I just threw the infused with chicken pox baby bath literally on top of some honeymooning couple on it posing for photos on the rocks I mean I could it was like when you do something bad you see it in slow motion I was like if I'd aimed I couldn't have got them any better anyway that. Anyway, but they never saw me, I sort of hid and it. Of course. I hid for the rest of the holiday. Oh no.

When's the book out, Michael? A funny life? I love the picture on the front. I don't know how you've contorted your face up. That's a never seen your face go like that. what's the form? Do you tell secrets on a podcast? Yeah, this is the place to do it. I love this photo. They sent me this photo and they said they mocks it up on different colors and I was like we love it and you know my wife liked it which is always the key. And then when I was looking at the credits for the photo there's two two photographers two photographers. I was like I had two photographers? Apparently it's two different photos they told me. Oh, pushed again. What, cut and shut? I know, it's just, it's too much to bet. But I can make

that face, I mean, I don't, I don't know. Oh yeah, you can do it. But that's from two separate photo shoots. How can it be? I don't, I don't understand. And maybe it's more than two. I think the hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair is the hair is the hair is the hair is the hair is more hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hair hairthose things where you draw a bit of the face and then you fold it over and then someone else draws a different bit. It's like one of those things. I think it's quite interesting about it because it doesn't matter that it's, you're not tricking anyone. They're not like, no, it's definitely me on two different. I can't believe it. I can't be. I can't be. I can't be. I can't be. I can't be. I can't be. I can't be. I can't be. I can't be. I can't be. I can't be. I can't be. I can't be. I can't be. I can't be. I can't that. I can't that. I can't that. I can't that. I can't the. I can't the. I can't the. I can't the. I can't the. I can't the. I can't that. I can't that. I can't that. I's that. I's th. I's th. I's th. I th. I th. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I the. I think. I think. I the. I the. I theat. I theat. I think. I think. I think. I think think it's quite think it's quite theat. I theat. I theeat. I theat. I theee. I think you can say that. I think that's right interesting. Because then you'll look for it in the shop then, it's really good market.

Also, Michael, everyone who's listening to this has just Googled the cover of your book. It's the perfect marketing. Amazing. And I have to say thank you for turning that into a positive. And I look forward to, um, after this, texting you to say that that was fun and then waiting for a day while you don't reply. Having said that, I might, I might do an Andy Murray and never reply. I'll see how it goes. We've got one last question, Michael, we always end on which is, is there one one one one one one last one last one last one last one last one one one one one one one one one one one one the last the last the last the the last thi thi the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to to thi, to to to to to to to to, I to, I to, I to, I to, I to, I to, I to, I to, I to to, I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I thi. I thooooooooo. I thi. I thoooooo. I thi, I thing that your partner does parents in wise that annoys you but you don't really bring it up

because you don't want to row is there a way that you sort of clash on an apparent and approach is the one little thing kitty does as red she's an amazing mom and has done incredible job oh yes however is there one thi annoys us both. We aren't very good at following through. We're big on the threats. It's a threat-based parenting lifestyle. Yes, me too. You know, we're the kind of people that when they were young and you go, you start counting to five and like one, two, but in my head I'm thinking, if I reach five, I'm fucked because I have no plan. I have no plan for five. Three, and then four and the one, ten. Four, I continue to wait to, I have nothing!

Michael, thank you so much. Good luck with the book, Um, Funny Life. When's it out? Is it out now? Or October? 14th of October? Yeah. And when are your books out? Mine was out the 14th of October October October October October October October October October October October October October October October October October October 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14th of th of th of th of th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. 14th of October. Yeah. And when are your books out? Mine was out last week. Mine's out the 14th of October as well. Head to Head, Michael. Whoa. It's a big week for Danny Julian. Thank you so much, Michael. It's been a pleasure, Michael.

Bye. Bye. Thank you. Good luck. Cheers, mate. Bye. Michael McIntyre. Always good value old Mackentire, right he? Yeah, there's a reason why he's where he is, because he's just funny. He's a very funny guy. He would be in America as we speak. Yes, good luck with the Will, McIntyre. He does really well over there. He's played radio, city music call and stuff like that.

Yeah, I know he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he he's he he he's know he's a he's a brilliant act. You can imagine they love him in America right? Because so English. It's exactly how they imagine English people. Yeah I'm always think like how I'd get an over there because it's very much I don't think they've very they've had like Russell Brand. They've got Mary Poppins do you know what I mean so yeah but I'm with chimney sweep. Also you know they're they're their. I they're their. I their. I their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm they're they're their. I'm their. I'm they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. I'm they're. I'm they're. I'm they're. I'm they're. I'm they're. I'm they're. I'm they're. I'm they're. I'm they're. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm they. I'm they. I'm they. I'm their. I'm their. I'm. I'm. I hated it four days worst place I've ever been. I don't want to have to drive everywhere as has proven by Tuesday's episode. Not with a stay in your car. Not with a stay at my car. It's a lot of driving in LA. Anyway good luck Michael and yeah we'll be back on Tuesday of another episode. Bye!