Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S03 EP29: Faking a hamster's death...

Episode Date: October 19, 2021

S03 EP29: Faking a hamster's death...More (mis)adventures in parenting hell with Rob and Josh. Enjoy. Rate and Review. ThanksxIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully, hoa' they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello you're listening to Parenting Hell with Josh Whitton.

Got sick. Hello you're listening to Parenting Hell with Josh Whittican, Got the Creek, Pop, and Rob Beckett. So that is it. Good work. My son. There we go. It's a nice one. Yes, hi, Rob and Josh. Hope you're both well.

I'm loving the podcast and blame my other half that I was late to the party. He kept saying he listens to the dad's podcast. So I never thought much of it until my friend mentioned I said listen to parenting hell. And he then announced that's what he meant, thanks Felix. Oh, we got the name wrong. The dad's podcast. Do you know what? Originally we did to kind of see it as just dads, didn't we rob. Well, because we were dads.

We didn't realize that, you know, that women women women women women women women women women women women that women women that that women women that that women women women that that women that women women that that women that women that women that women that women that women that women that women that women that women that women that, you know, that women would be interested in our boring, boring lives. When I look at the nurturing of a child, I don't see gender, I just see parent. Do you know what Rob? I would say the same, but my daughter, we haven't, you know, you try your best to not, you know, buy a pink clothes, etc. It is fucking insane. It's like a compulsion. It's like she's been brainwalled. Like kids and- Where is it? It's mad. Sorry.

It is like, and I like, girls, my daughters are just, before they even really watched Teddy or had iPads or went to school or anything like that, immediately buggy and pink. You've just got gotta let her express herself, but fucking out. How can you be that into unicorns and rainbows? Oh, come on, you're little cliche. Think for yourself. If you're writing a script, you'd go, this is a bit on the nose.

This is a bit. It's a bit root one, this, come on. Come, when's this going out, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, thin, thin. thin. thin. th. th. thi, thin, th. Come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come. Come, come. Come, come, come. Come. Come. Come. Come, come. Come, come. Come, come. Come, come. Come, come. Come, come. th. th. Come, come, come, th. th. th. Come, come, th. th. th. Come, th. th. th. Come, come, come, come, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, come, come, come, come, come, come, th. Come on, come, come, come, come, come, come thi. Come, come, come, come, come, really? Unicorns and pink. What's the boy like, is it? Oh, cars, it? Transformers and dinosaurs. Classic. She's got three mates and we saw them on Saturday. It's got more mates than you. I know, exactly, mate. She's got a better social life than I have. I'll tell you that for free. I used to think when they go like, oh, so-so-so, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th, th, th, th, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, th. th, and so, and so, and so, and th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we, and th. And, and th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, tho. And, tho. And, th. And, th. And, tho. And, th. And, th. And, tho. And, th. And, th. like you when you first worry about that don't you at school oh my god what if someone says not gonna talk to when they leave them out now that happens so much with so many different people I just sort of like yeah I don't care I'm sure it sort itself out it always

does well like she tells me I'm not a best friend or come to a party once every two days so I'm sure that other people are the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I thi thi thi thi thi thi they they they that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that th I th I thi thi thi thi thi thi to thi thi to the the te the te tell I tell I tell I tell I to that that's that that that that I'm sure that other people are getting the same treatment. I hope they are. If it's just me. That's brutal, it's just that. Yeah. I'm bloody paying for it mate. Right. So I'm up to series two and just listen to Jessica Nappet. Anyway, I regularly listen in the car with a t obviously at the end of my granddad's road. Enjoy from Louise, Felix and Sebastian Cherry. And then she's done a cherries emoji, which is a real bonus of having the surname Cherry, I imagine having your own emoji. Yeah, Sebastian Cherry's are great.

And Sebastian Cherry sounds like when Waitro's release a new cherry, but need to add another quid to the price. It's a Sebastian cherry. Have you had a Sebastian cherry? I have actually Rob, and it was bitter. How are you this morning? I'm good. I'm very good. Kids are fine.

I'm very busy. I don't want to book bore people because we do talk about having a book out. Thank you to all the people that bought it. It's doing it. It's doing pretty well, so thank you very much. But I feel a bit like a film star on a junket, Josh. I've never experienced this kind of full on, because it's not like a tour, Pierre. You mocked me for my junket life, Rob,

and now you're living it yourself. It's non-stop, isn't it? Well, it will stop in about a week. to stop in about a week. No, no one. the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to tho. to to thoom. thi. thi. to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t t t the. t t t to to. to to to to to to to toeea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. to to toooo. t moment it's quite busy. But what a week it was Rob! What a week it was going to Cheltenham and having a cold pizza before I did a gig. This is quite funny, this what I did last night, I did a book event in Bromley. Because basically books about class, and it, so they keep sending me to Henley on Thames and Cheltenham. It's about class, in it, is the absolute perfect, the th. It, is th. It, is th, is th, is th, is the th, is th, is the th, is the th, is th, is th, is the th, is the th, is th, is the thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is tham, is tham, is tham, is tham, is tham, is tham, is tham, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is th, is th, is th, is th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, the thi, the thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi., thi., thi., thi. It's thi, thi, thi, thi, th what's the point of writing about class and about sort of not having access to certain things in the arts and in comedy? And I, the working class boat keeps going to Henley and Cheltenham.

So I did a book event at Bromley in the Churchill theatre because I don't think they do many book events there. Anyway, I did that. I went out and give me a cheer if you've been to a book event, no, no, no, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thi, thi, thi, thi, the th, the the th, the the th, th, thee, thee, thee, thi, tho, their, their, their, their, their, the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to a book event before, no one cheered. Give me a cheer if you know this is a book event, no one cheered. Oh, no, no cheered. So I did have 500 people wanting a full stand-up gig, but they got a chat about my book. Did you at any point think, fuck this, I'm just going to stand up and do some stand up comedy? Yeah, I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, they, give me me me me me me, if thi, if thi, if thi, if their, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, give me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me, give me, give me, give me, give me, that, give me, thi, give me, thi, thre, thre. Oh, thre. Oh, thre. Oh, threa, thr. Oh, thr, thrown, if you've threa, if you've to to to to to threa, if you've that would be very up here on her to sort of just stand behind me. Yeah that would have been awful wouldn't it? Yeah oh sorry there's someone at my front door. Oh no. Josh here we go and answer it? They're in there. I've got open the side gate, sorry mate, one second. It's all right. Yeah, sorry about that. I got into my window cleaners. I know I've changed.. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah into my window cleaner was here, Josh.

I don't clean my windows, I know, I've changed. I mean, have you changed? I have changed. I just, yeah, I don't clean my windows. He's good, actually, he's got a long pole that gets to the top ones rather than walking on the extension and breaking all the slats. Oh, that's talk about you a week for a bit. I've had too much coffee, my head hurts. Have you? Yeah, I did a big one. I gulped it down when you were doing Felix's intro. When do you stop junketing, Rob? Generally, not completely. When do I stop junketing?

I never, I'm always junketing mate. Right, so I had last, last week I had talked. I had Talked sport. to talk sport. to talk sport. to Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to their, their, Rob, Rob, their, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, their, their, their, their, their, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. When. When, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tha, tha, th seconds before they went, Rob, what do you think of Arteta? I felt like I said, what do you think about my fucking book? I'm not here promoting Arsenal. Mate, I hate it when that happens. You should try doing who do you think you are, mate. Then you fucking don't get to talk about your book. That is an unbelievable turn of events in your interview. So we're going to start by talk about who to to to to to to to to to to to to to the their to talk to to their to their to their their their their their their their their their to to to to to to to their to their their their their their th. I'm their their their their their their th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I I thi. I I I I their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. I, I, I, I thi. I'm thi. I'm not thi. I'm not thin, I'm not thin, I'm not thin, I'm not thin, I'm not thia. I'm not thin, I'm not thin, I'm not th think you are. Really? Oh, I'm on the one show tonight. This is Monday recording this. Oh yeah, and Josh was on who do you think you are? And he's related to King Henry the Abe. Do you want to talk about that? No, I'll fucking don't. Oh, I'm fucking. I'm fucking. I'm not talking about him. It's about me. It's about me. I' th. I' th. I' th. I's about me. I's about me. I's about me. I's about me. I's about me. I's about me. I'll th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. And th. And th. Anyway, so I've got the one show and I've got Jonathan Ross and a few interviews. It's all good. It's all good. I'm not complaining but it's quite busy. But yeah, the kids, I'm still up with the kids early in the morning though. That's why I'm really coffee off my nuts at the moment, Joy. Oh really? You don't drink coffee. You just have tea. Just have tea. Keep it on. Keep it on a keep it on a keep it on an an the the the the the to keep it on. Keep it on. Keep it on. Keep it on. Keep it on. Keep it on. Keep it on. Keep it on. Keep it on. Keep it on. Keep it on. Keep it on. Keep it on. Keep it on. Keep. Keep. Keep. Keep. Keep. Keep. Keep. Keep. I. I. I. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's tie. It's tie. It's tie. tie. tie. tie. too. tie. too. too. But. But th th thi. It's th th th th th talk about here but I can't read and you know when you guys don't work. All right well should I start? Yeah go on yeah. I was on who do you think you are? What happened? I thought you'd be for it. You just go for your week? They're mine.

Oh God. I don't feel like you're in a mood for listening Rob. I feel like you need to get some of your big chest. I feel like it'd be performing to like one of those awful coa-a-a-o- get. Like a late show and comedy club and you're like, oh God, they're edgy. Right, okay, let, we know each other well now. Let me burn myself out, then I'll ask you. Yeah, exactly. Okay, here we go. You're like a dog that needs walking. I'm a dog that needs walking. Oh, let's talk to you about a dog thiolk. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's. thi's thi's thoomvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv. they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their. their. their. their. their. thi. thi. thi. theee. thea. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooe. they're theys first I'm getting this whip it now and this dog chat. You're not got it? No I get in two weeks. You're bloody your wife's putting up pictures on her Instagram of it. Yeah I know I don't yeah but. Do you have like meetings with it like when you're adopting? We're going once a week so the girls get used to it because it's only ten minutes away. Right. So that's what we're doing because normally a puppy is the puppy the puppy the puppy the puppy is the puppy is the puppy is the puppy is the puppy is the puppy is always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always four the puppy is four Staffordshire, isn't it? We have to go and get the puppy, four hours. Anyway, so what is annoying me, Josh, is people thinking that I've got a connection with them now because I'm going to own a whip it and they love whip it.

I am a man with a dog. My personality is not whip it, okay? No. I just want to make that that that to make to make to make to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tha. tha. to tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tooompip it's, tooompip it's, tooomp it's, the tooom. tooom. tooom. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoomp. I'ma. thoomoomoomoomoomorrow. thoomorrow. tooomorrow. toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom. tha. I just want to make that clear. If you've got a whip it, good for you, I've got a whip it as well. We won't be friends. We might be, but it's not going to be because of a whip it. Will you acknowledge, you know, like when Beetle drivers go past each other and they acknowledge each other? Are you aware of this phenomenon? Look, I feel like I've got myself in a weird world of new rules socially. So I think. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho, tho, tho, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. We might th. We might th. We might th. We might th. We might th. We might th. th. th. th. We's. th. th. th. We's. We's. th. We's. We's. th. th. We's. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. We'll thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. We'll thi. thi. thi. We might thi. thi. We might thi. We might thi. We might Whippet. So I think if you've got a Whipit, I'll give you a nod. Maybe have a quick chat. But when people go, oh yeah, you've joined the Whipet Gang. No, I haven't. Have you joined, you have joined the Wippet?

You are I'm not part of a Gang. I hate being part of something, John. I'm a man with a whip it. And then people are messaging me as whip-its that their owners have created on Instagram, talking to me as a whip-it-it. You sure that's not the whip-its? No, no, it's, how does a whip-it-type? The claws are too long for the speed. No, look, look, like, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their-a-a-is-is-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the-s. the-s, the-s. th-s-s-s-s-s-s-s!-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa- I get my Whippet. Yeah, if you could just check that one for us. Check that with the president of your club.

This is on. Just dropping and say hello. I have three golden rules for my Whombs. For my whom's? This is a dog that's got an Instagram account. And I think it's a person pretending they're to their their tha they're talking as the dog to me I reckon there's two months until your whip it's got an Instagram account Rob let's just all be honest about it now I was thinking actually maybe I could monetize the whip

here the same way Joey Essex did with his cat that look like a cheetah Joey Essex right okay Joey Essex that okay, and then it'd been the shop and people used to go to the shop to have a selfie with Joey Essex and meet Joey Essex, right? However, that meant he couldn't go and do other things and people would be disappointed at the shop. So what he did was, he had this pet cat cat,. Well, not kidnapped, stolen. I don't think that. Yeah, catnapped. And anyway, he used to put that on the Instagram and it had its own account and then people would go and have a photo with the cat. Oh, wow. So I could maybe I could make the dog a celebrity dog. The dog could do your tour for you. Yeah. Or that could be the tour the dog. The dog the dog the dog the dog the dog thoolk. Oh thoolk. th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh the the the dog comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes. The dog. The dog. The dog. Oh the dog comes. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the to. the to. to. the to. the the the to it'll be the dog talking about my book by the end of the year I'll just be at home and my feet up but yeah so that's I'm a little bit stressed by that I don't really want

my personality to be dictated by what dog I've got no of course you don't I don't want to be a dog but I don't want to be a dog but I'm not a big fan of a dog but I'm the the the th but I'm th but I'm a th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th throng throng throng throng throngue I'm thronge I'm th th th th th the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to be a to be to be to be to be to be to be a to the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the but I'm the the the the the the the the thooooooooooooip it's quite good because it's not, I'm not a big fan of Great Dane's, I think if you've got a Great Dane, your banters weak. Right, yeah, let me just google a great great. I'm so bad with dogs that whenever anyone mentions them I don't really know which one they're talking about. Well, great Dane, a big that's a big that's a big that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a big that's a big that's a big that's a big that's a big that's a big that's a big that's a big that's that's a big thane. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thane. thane. thane. than. than. than. than. than. than. thanan. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. that's a great that's a great that's a big dog Rob who are you oh I've got a great Dane that's my life do you know I mean? Because if you've got a great game that's your life yeah and it don't you think? Yeah when do you get the dog two weeks? Yeah couple of weeks just in time for fire at night that will sell it in nice wouldn't it lovely lovely lovely lovely lovely lovely lovely lovely. Harris is a the the the the the the the the the the th I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm I'm th I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I've th. I've th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th Josh, we'll get into your way. Harris is a name, it's not short for Harrison. I've had a number of angry Scottish people approach me in the street.

Right. About this. Harris is a name. It's a first name. Apparently, I've never heard of it. And I've thea the Q&A last night asked me a question and then I've got a question just to let you know we actually love the podcast and Josh is our favorite and everyone cheered. What? And then expected an answer. Oh wait, that's not a question?

Well I got in stoke, I got bring on Beckett at one point. That was unbelievable. Ah, that's brutal, isn't it? What did you respond to that? that? th. th. th. th. th. th. their? their? th. th. th. their? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi? tho? tho? to, thi? their? to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. toe. to to to to to to th? Got them thrown out. Because it was when someone shouted out someone from a podcast, no one understood what it was. And then I had to explain what the podcast was. Oh God. My supposedly very successful podcast, I'm explaining to my own fucking audience in a theatre what it is. It looks so needy. Oh dear. But if the next time they say bring on Beckett, do an impression of me be be like oh call blamie fucking out or might get out of jail free card if they shout for you or Romish always go they go where's Romish where's Josh I go you don't get Josh and me for this price on a Saturday night in Halifax. Oh well there we go yeah that's good. That's a good it gets a laugh particularly. It gets a laugh. Yeah I th. That's a good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good. It gets a good. It gets a good. It gets. It gets. It gets. It gets. It gets. It gets. It gets. It's. It gets. It's they're they th. It gets. It gets they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they's. It's. It's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they they they they they they they they they they they hamster the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the the the the the the the the the the they. they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I I I I I I I's. I's. I's. I's. I's got it out to play our banner I've got a hamster I bought a hamster in lockdown one oh yes

I do remember this and I've got it out it bit me it hasn't been a big narrative on this podcast no because it I got it out to play with it nearly took my whole finger off then I popped it back in a cage he's been there for two years. Oh what's it called? Woody. Oh yeah. Anyway, so we need space in the front room to put the dog cage in right? So really we could do with this. I have a dog cage. Fuck in our dogs are an effort, aren't they? Jesus. Wow. They call it a crate. It's a fucking cage, right? We've got a dog crate. the dog crate and I need to put it somewhere and we've got this big hamster cage and I was chatting to my mate I was I don't know what to do it. My mate, luckily Jack, hopefully his daughter's not this into this, he wanted to get hamsters with daughter and I went why don't you can have our hamster if you want, to have a hamster if he's the hamster.

But when he dies, you'm giving it to him. Now I've got to tell the kids we're getting rid of the amster. So I'm contemplating faking a hamster's death. No. Kids have got to learn about death. How are you going to fake it, Rob? I'm just going to say, oh, sad news girls, the hamster's the hamster, because we've got to tell them this in about three you. Oh what a life. Right so I think I'm going to have to fake his death and just go look the hamsters dead and then we're going to have to do a fake burial. I don't know if that's more traumatic. Won't they ask to see the body to pay their respect? What kind of sicko kid do you think I've got? What? It's not a fucking true crime drama? See the body. See? their the body. See the body. What do? See? See? See? the body? the body? See? the body? the body? See? the body? See? the body? the body. What the body? See? What the body? What the body? What the body? See? What the body? What do? What do? What do? See? See? See? See? See? What the body? See? See? See? See? See? See? What th. See? What th. See? See? What? See? See? See? See? See? See? See? See? See? See? See? S? S? S? S? S. Oh? S? S? S? S? S? S? S? S? S? S? S? S? S? S? S? S? S? S? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? I. Oh? Oh? I. Oh? Oh? I's. Oh? I's. Oh. Oh? I's. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh? Oh. Oh. Oh, the the the the the thethey do crush them. Do they? It's disgusting what he's got to do. I'm gonna be open it. He's not far off the size of my balls. Really? Yeah.

And how big's he compared to his balls? I'd say, I'd- What percentage of the hamster's ball? 30? Fuck here, teeth. He's basically me. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber 1 for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cash back on rides.

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Everyone else has a story at their child when their pet died and they were lied to that it hadn't died. You're the only one who's inserting a harrowing death in your children's lives. It's absolutely insane. So then that was the plan, but then this morning I said, you know, when you dogs coming soon. So, and I, you know, when you start. Just let the dog kill the hamster. Put him chase it, get it, get the speed up. No, so then I was like, sometimes being married and having kids is like being part of a political party, isn't it? You're going to be challenged at all points, but you need to have a strategy and you know, you need to work out what the party line. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get. And, get. And, to, the the the their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, they. And, they. And, they. And, the it. So that's we were chatting about the pipeline and I for no reason I was tired this morning just went solo and freestyle Hey kills just so you know because we need space for Freddy's crate, you know

The hamster needs to go somewhere so we're gonna let the hamster go and live with Jack and Chloe. Yeah the youngest Sort of laugh that I was like yeah if you want to call it that and then the oldest broke down in tear? the the the the the the the the the young. the young. the young? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I the youngest. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that. And then the oldest broke down in tears and got distraught. And then Lou came down. And what's going on? I went, oh, I've sort of mentioned that the hamster's going to go. Oh, God. I said, what have you said? I don't really know. I just said, we're just going to work.

to say, them to the Cresh and they haven't been to the Cresh for ages and they do like it, but they get a bit funny going in so now she's got a cry and child she needs to drop it in the crash. She's just been told I'm giving her hamster away and I sat there going, what the fuck have you done? Oh my god. I tell you should have back to back to go all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all. their to go. their to go. their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're not they're not they're not they're not they're not they're not they're not they're not they're not they're not to get to get to get they're not they're not they're not they're not they're not they they're not they're not they're not they're not they they're they're not they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. their. th. the. the. the. the. theeee. theeea. thea. theea. they're they're thee. they're they're they're they're they're they're they'll think I've faked it but even though it is dead. Oh God they're not they're not gonna spot these I'm gonna have to find another one to give away do you think you're gonna keep the hamster no he's coming next Friday he's going he's going he's going he's out we just go or no, the hamster, hamsters eat dogs. Yes, exactly. Hamsters eat dogs. Exactly. Maybe I'll do that.

Basically, I'm having a bit of a crisis, but. That isn't ideal. That isn't ideal. That's not ideal. It's not ideal. I've got other stuff. Parents evening. Oh yeah, via Zoom. Via Zoom, this was 10 minutes, you only get 10 minutes, and then it cuts off. It's like, it starts the hunger games, you get beans. Are they just hang up on you? Yeah, it's all set on a computer and it's basically go,

oh it's on a count down. Yes, it's horrible! That is insane. And also, in 10 minutes, it's just enough time for to ask a question each and then get an answer and anything, and they are very responsive on email and in person. So any reservations you have, it's fine. But I think if you just done it to 12 minutes, then that way you get the 10 minutes information, then there's two minutes of questions and then that's fine, I think, but because you never any any questions in. Anyway, it's really good and academically she's doing well, this is all good, this is all good, and it was all positive, you know, when he's building up to negative, right? Yeah. And also this is like the first, because the year reception, they just sort of get them in and just make them stop like shitting them, when you sort of start to know what they'll be like I think with schooling and he went but there's one thing I do need to bring up that is is becoming an issue and you know oh God.

I'd love it if that's when the 10 minutes are kicked in and doom power down. That's what if I was a teacher I would do that at 955 I'm at 955 I'm at 955 I th 5 on everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone on everyone everyone on everyone everyone on everyone everyone everyone on everyone on everyone I to 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5. I that I am th. I am that I am that I am that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm not th. I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I was that I was I was I'm that I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was on everyone on everyone on everyone on everyone on everyone. I was on everyone. I was on everyone. I was on everyone. I was on everyone. I'm on everyone. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm not not th. I'm not not th. I'm not th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm on everyone I go, I also have got to mention this huge issue. Both. Yeah, exactly. Well, luckily we had time. See you in 2022, loser. Yeah, see you. And you never find out each year. We're on Zoom again. Why?

Why is it? Anyway, so, do you think if you go to you to move on. I hope so that'll be fun. Or what I might do is when in person, at 10 minutes I'm just going to stand up and walk off. Whatever's happened. I'm going to put a clock in front of him and then just stare at him and then just get up and walk off. Just put your finger softly on his lips Rob. Yeah. Shhh. Shhh. Sho. Sh okay. Anyway, so it was all sort of good, but it was building up to a negative, I've got to speak to you about this and I think it is quite important and I think it's something that needs to be resolved and it's becoming an issue. I was like, oh God, and when he said that, my stomach, oh getting a little bit upset it's something that really needs to be resolved to improve her school in. Her dad is slagging her off on the podcast.

Yeah, that was that right? He went, the thing is she went, funky jazz on a Monday. I'm pardon, she doesn't enjoy funky jazz. What? What is funky jazz an after school class? Fine. I thought you was going to tell me she can't read all right! What all that build-up? So she don't want to do funky jazz? So what is funky jazz an after-school club? Yeah! She does, basically school and then she does ballet and then straight into funky jazz.

I wouldn't, and I wouldn't want to do funky jazz at the school and then straight into funky jazz. I wouldn't want to do and find somewhere else. That's absolutely brilliant. What does that mean? Do you just pick her up an hour earlier? Yeah, which is fine. It's no drama at all. Not the end of the world. No funky jazz at all. Do you think the teacher was genuinely nervous about telling you? No, I just think, because I it needs to be resolved. Basically, you can take those words in two ways. And if you're coming from a negative point of view,

you'll take it as the worst. But like you say, a classic anxiety, I'm anxious. And the reality is always not as bad as the anxiety tells you. And it was fine. But it was fine, I was like, I. thined. thined. thined. thined. thined. thined. thined. thined. thined. thined. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. And I was, thi. And, thi. And, to toed. And, toed. And, toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo worry about it, mate. Gone, it's gone. And Lou was like, but we bought the shoes. I was like, she did not. Because you were doing parents' evening via Zoom, did that mean you could have, like, have a glass of wine while you did it?

Yeah, you could, but I don't, I think you drink too much. I could barely drink, but I just think, I'd think, I'd think, I'd think, I'd think, I'd think but I just thought that would be a nice... People at the Cheltenham Festival said you were pissed to sign all those books. Yeah I was. I had a great time. Partly because I hadn't eaten because the rouleard was too heavy. Right, what's been out with you, Josh? Oh, you know, life. Life, etc. So, it's birthday season again. She's only just had a birthday, then she? No, she had a party in the summer because her birthday was in lockdown so we said she could have a party, Rob.

Oh, sorry, yeah, because she had it in the park, yep, I get you. Yeah, so she's got another one up coming up for her actual birthday. Yeah, but there's two other kids. Her two of her friends have her. So it's absolute birthday. It's th. Right, it's great Rob. Oh, is it? I love a child's birthday. Do you not love them? They're genuinely the best social events of my life. Okay, right. They're the only social events of my life. Okay, Josh, come back to me

when they're in a full primary class and you have to invite everyone in the class. Yeah, but Rob, there there there there there there there there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's their their their their their their their their their their the's an entertainer there. They do the gig for you. At the moment, you're cultivating her birthday party. What do you mean? You do have everyone from her preschool? Well, we did in the summer, yeah. We had everyone from a class. Oh, okay. We don't do it at our house. I hate children's birthdays. And if I can avoid them forever, I like mine. Oh, I love it. I am a th. Do th. Do th. drop them at their house, they sort them out,

you pick them up two hours later. That's my dream afternoon. Going in and experience the party, kill me. Maybe you don't like the other parents Rob. That's the problem. No, I don't mind them. Sometimes I go with them to a pub around the corner. I like that. Well, that's nice. That's nice. But th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the thi. thi. the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. the. toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. their. their. their But the actual 20 kids running about going mental, not for me. Not for you. No. Sorry Josh. Well, I, I'm not gonna lie, I had the time of my life again as always on Saturday. It wasn't even my daughter's birthday, it was one of her friends' birthdays. Okay. I mean, it was the third time I'd seen that entertainer in six months. Still enjoying it? It's still good gear. It's still good gear even when you've seen it three times. The kids don't even notice. She absolutely smashed it, as per always. Well, what is her vibe?

She, like her own thing or she dresses up or? Dressed as a kind of generic, colorful entertainer, so spotty dress. Colorful entertainer sounds like Jim Davidson. Yeah, there was a lot of blue. But you know what, Rob? She's saying what we're thinking. That's what I like about it. She's speaking truth to the situation. I'm sorry it doesn't fit in with your stiff neck agenda,

but you know, there's things that people want to hear and she's happy to say them. Totally, mate. And it's just some of these things that she was she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she was that she was -hearted way and the kids love it. If anything, it's a sign of respect. Oh, it's this poor entertainer. For the big record, this entertainer is not racist or sexist. No, not at all. No, no, no.

She, by colorful, I mean, colorful dress. A laugh. Like a kind of madhatter-style hat. Yes okay fair enough. Lots of playing music, lots of games, yeah, lots of balloon modeling, bish-bash-bosch, job done. Yes, because you sometimes you can just get a divorcee in an Elsa costume and that's not what you want. Yeah, exactly. No, it wasn't that. She wasn't in an Elsa costume. She doesn't get booked with three children's parties in six months on the Clapton birthday scene without doing a good job does she? She's dominating the scene Josh, she's dominating it. Well the one we've got next week, he's on his third appearance of the year as well. To be honest, I've got a feeling that only two children's entertainers in the Hackney area. What do they do like beat poetry and hemp, and hemp, so hemp bags. Well that's what you think but they're not old school. But actually that's th. That's that's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. what you think, right? But they're not old school. But actually, when it comes to your children's parties, you have to go with what they want

rather than yourselves, and that is really disappointing. I've never seen a kid be a hipster. Let me send you this. This is what my daughters keep drawing in our room. Can you see that? It's a cockon is a is it a penis and bum? Yeah, they've written bum and they've written bits But got the yes and the tea around there. Oh, right. Yeah

They've written bits and they've drawn a knob. Yeah She's drawn an actual knob but the little hold on the end she's drawn an actual knob Yeah, she's quite graphic. It's really graphic and she's done it on a post it. So it's done on a post post post post post post post post post post post post post post so so so so th post post post so th post so th post so th post so th post so th post so th post post post post so th post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post th. So th. So it so it so it so looks so looks so looks so looks th. So it so looks th. So it so looks th. So it so looks so it so it so it so it so it so it so it's th. So it's th. So it's th. So it's th. So it's th. So it so it so it so it so it so it so it so it so it so it so it so it so it so it so it so it so it so it so it thing. So it thing. So it's th. So it's th. So it's th. So it's th. So it looks like. So it looks like. So it's th. So it's th. So it's th. So it looks th. So it looks th. So it looks th. So it looks th. So it's th. So itthem to the youngest and they go, I've got a delivery, so she's walked in with two post-it notes, one of a dick with a hole in, which is too graphic, but they're obsessed, if I got a wee, they're obsessed with seeing the wee, where the wee comes from kind of thing. Oh really? Yeah, but I'm like, go away, so I've been locking the door. thi. their. their. th. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, th, th, th, th. th. th. their, th. th. th. th. their, their, their, their, their, their, th. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. So, their, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, their, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. th. th. to. th. to. th. to. th. th. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. 't draw that. She's only five. She's drawing a dick. She's drawing a dick, Rob. I had this through as well the other day. You know when they, um, they saw that piss written in my book, yeah? Someone on Instagram messaged me. Their daughter was playing on a tree, right? Yeah.

And there was a naughty word that sort of scraped into the tree and their daughter was reading it. So let me try and find this field where is it? I'll send you to the photo and I'll play this. Come. Pardon? Did you just ask what it spelled? Yeah. It's like come here. Did you hear that? Yeah. It's like come here. Did you hear that?

Yeah. Come. It's awful, isn't it? Amazing. I'll show you what was carved into the tree that that young child was climbing on. Let's have a look. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Horrible, isn't it? People are awful. Why? That's obviously a teenager. Why are people so awful? I understand why you you you you you you why you why you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you th why you th why you th why you th th th th th th th th that that that that that that tho? that that that that thi that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's obviously a teenager. Why are people so awful? I understand why you'd carve a cock into a tree. It looks funny, doesn't it? Yeah. And I'd even argue, yeah, do some, do it spunking.

Do a couple little divvets in the wood. Maybe there was meant to be more to it, Rob. Maybe they were doing, or they were bloody disturbed, maybe they were like disturbed. But why would you have come into a tree? Well, maybe they were going to do some more stuff. Like maybe it was part of a bigger piece, but then someone turned up and they had to run, so it's half finished. It does feel like they need to return to finish the job,

because the penis is the the penis is thap at the end and she's done the bell end. Yeah. That's really, that's too much. I think, I don't know if I need to go to sake to a doctor's or something. What's interesting about it is you say that. they're interested in my penis. that they're interesting. they're interested in my penis. Stop. I know they're the thrown. they're tho. tho. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. tho. tho. I tho. I thin. I to thin. I tho. I thin' thin' to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. I the. I the. I the. I the. the the the the. the the the. the. the. thea. to to ranking podcasts that in your country would be saying that, does it, Rob? Not a great headline, doesn't look great on an email. No, it's not ideal when Danny phones you up and says the Daily Mail have jumped on something that you said in the podcast. Oh no, what have they run with? What's the headline? Beckett's children interested in his penis. But what I find thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thin thin' thi thi thi thi thin' thin' the' thi thi thi thi thi thi the. It's the the. It's the the. the the the. the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin thin' the. the. the. the, it's not the the the the the the the the thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean that now that poster is exactly how I imagine your penis looks. It doesn't look like that. I mean, well it's they're only going off what they've seen mate.

And let's be know she's a very talented artist. Have you seen her mookow? Exactly. And let's be honest, is that your bum? I wish that was my bum. I'm that is peachy bundar. That is peachy bund-a, that, that, that, that, that, thia, that, thia, that, thia, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, that, that, thi, thi, thi, that's that's, that's, that, that, that, that, is, is, is, is that, is that, is that, is that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I th. It th. It th. It th. It, I th. It's, I th. It's, I th. It's, I th. It's, th. It's, th. It's th. It's thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, thoo-a. It's, thooooom. It's, thooooom. It's, thoome. It's, thi, thi, thi. It is peachy, isn't it? It's wonderful. Pea-peachy Bunda, that is. Yeah. I just loved kids' parties, Rob. They're the only bit of socialising. I can deal with, at all. Why, don't you go out? Don't you go out? Well, because I've been working so much, right? I've completely lost the ability to socialize. Is that because every time you go out and speak some of the book, you, you, to, to, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thoooooooooooooooo-s, thooooo-s, thi, their thi,. Do you just sort of panic and just start doing a PR on people in the street? Genuinely, I'm either selling them my book or I'm riffing about the news and no one wants either of those things. You're not, yeah, you basically need to be rehabilitated back into society. It's a genuine problem that I feel like I've got at the moment, which is that I can't have conversations with my friends, I've lost the ability to do it. So I went for lunch with some friends the other day. And I just couldn't do it. I just thought, I've got nothing to offer it. You know when people were like when they came out of lockdown, they'd kind of,

some people really struggled with readapting. You think you've got that from having a kid and being on a PR junket tour. Exactly, I genuinely think that. So what was so good about the kids party then? I don't know, for some reason I can do that, right? Yeah. But I went for lunch with some friends and I was like, in my head wrong, and there's no reflection on my friends, but I just wanted to not be there. Because I was just, I wasn't myself at all. What time was it? What, what, daytime, lunch? Yeah, lunch. And how many friends? Four, three? Don't even know, don't even care?

I think you're just tired. You are having no time to yourself. Because you're at home with... I've got no time to myself. I don't want to spend my time to myself. I don't want to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to to my to my to to to to to to to to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to spend to to to me. to me. to me. to me. their their times. their time. their time. time time time to my time my. I. I their time time to my time to my to my to me to to I think that's very important because I think it's that kind of thing. I know it is. I and I'm normally the most social I love, I'm so sociable. You hate being on your own. You always, if we ever did a TV show you're the first person to leave your dressing room and going someone else is for a chat. Of course, of course because I've got nothing to offer to you. to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. thoseseweree. to to to to their. their. to to to to to to to to to the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, because I, because I, because I, because I'm, because I'm, because I'm, because I'm, because I'm, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, their, their, their, their, their, tho. I'm tho. I'm thooo. I'm, their, thooo. I'm, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, I'm, I'm to offer but not at the moment no I mean to myself oh to yourself but now you have got something to offer to yourself which is quiet I genuinely I feel like I've I don't know what it is but I just like I someone asked me to go to their birthday this yeah I felt affronted that I even had to reply and say I didn't want to go. Josh I think you're burnt out you need to rest and I'd I the the their. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. to their. to to to their. to to to to to their. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to to to to to to. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. to. I's. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the. the the. the. the. the. the. toe. toe. toe. to. to. I'm. to. I'm. I'm. rest. And I'd say what's good to listen to that, you know, Helen Russell, who was on the podcast talking about moving to Denmark, she's got a podcast called How to Be Sad, which is really good.

And I've just bought the book of the guy she interviewed about rest. It's the episode, rest, where it's talking about how important rest is and then home, you've got, you know, your wife and children that you need to look after the kids and want stuff from you, then you go to work and you've got a camera in front of your face wanting all your energy, then on top of that you go to your tour show and you have to give out loads of energy and then you're being interviewed by books. So you're constantly giving, giving out, giving, so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and to, and to, and to, and to, and to, and their, and their, and their, and you, and you, and you, and you, and, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you're, and you're, and you're, and you're, and you're, and you're, and you're, and you're, and their, and you're, and you're, and you're, and you're, and you're, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, they.. they. they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, the rest. So for example, you're not really resting going to your friends because you're chatting and you're talking and you've got to be interested, you've got to be polite and stuff like that, whereas you've got to do stuff that's your own, your own thing. And it's not always like just sit in line in the dark resting, you know what I relax, chill. I felt like I was like making polite conversation, but with friends. Do you know what I mean?

So I felt like I couldn't escape small talk. He couldn't get beyond small talk. Couldn't get to my usual level of big talk. I was stuck on small talk. You couldn't even see medium talk. Big tool was a pipe dream. Exactly. So what's an example of you with big talk talk kind talk kind talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talking talking to to to to to to to to to to to talk took, too too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. to me. to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to the the to the the too. the the too. the the too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. to medium talk. Big tool was a pipe dream. Exactly. So what's an example of you with Big Talk kind of stuff? Well, like you talk about like... Oh, have you heard and there's a bit of gossip?

Yeah, gossip or in jokes. Or did you see what this person Instagram? What an absolute wanker. That kind of stuff. Yeah, so let method for this. I'm your friend. All right. Let's do what you are doing. Okay. Oh, hi Josh. How's it going? Yeah, good. good. So um, how are you? How's the family? Yeah? Oh, yeah, good. Oh, we have some great. I went to. the I went to the park? Oh, yeah, yeah, not bad. Just so you're nice to be nice to pick up a the try. the the to. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. How. th. th. th. How's th. How's th. How's th. How's th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. How are. How are. How aretime with them and stuff like that. Works bit quite, it'd be nice to pick up a little bit, but yeah, how about you? Has a book? Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, okay. I don't really want to talk about it. I talk about it all the fucking time. Yeah, okay. Yeah, okay. This is small talking, this is small talk Go, yeah. Okay. Oh, Josh, how's it going? Have you seen the s-. Jesus Christ, what is wrong with that?

I don't know, but it's great, isn't it? I think, I really think she needs help. Yeah, totally. I can't stop watching the stories, and I went into the live the to-day, and I is the worst. The tension of clicking on a live Instagram is fucking insane. Oh what if they request you to join and you're in? Oh God no! Wither comes back! That's big talk right? That's fucking big talk. That's what I'm interested in. That's what I want to talk about. Yes. Not oh so when you going back to work maternity leave must be done well. Oh I don't give a shit about the the tas. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh wife's... Shoot me in the place, what is wrong with me? Why am I asking this? We all have kids, we all go back to work, fucking get over it, right, let's slag some people off.

But it's my own fault, why am I asking people this? They don't even want to talk to me about it. No! You've got to take control of the table, Josh. You're a big, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're, you're, you're, to, to, to, to, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tha, tha, tha, tha. toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Fa, tha, tha, tha, th things you've said about other people, you've not had a night out with your mates. That's how it works. Genuinely. No, I can't do that anymore. Hopefully, Rob, I'm back. I'm back. I'm back.

I think you're back, Josh. I think you just need a little bit of as, I've got a question that I want to ask you and the listeners, okay? You know, have you got Sky Plus where you fast forward it and stuff? Yeah, I've got Sky Plus? So you record stuff and then you fast forward through the adverts to catch up. Yeah. So if you record, yeah, you record, you record off the ad fast-fow the adverts, that kind of stuff, yeah? Yeah.

So when you do it, right, when the adverts are on, sometimes you catch up, don't you? But if there's still some fast-falling to do, me and there's still some fast-flaught in to get through these adverts or have we caught up. What word do you, have you got a word for that? No but I like it and I'm going to start using it. Have we got any juice to get through this, and I'm going to start using it. Have we got any juice, but I don't know if anyone else because I was like, have you got any juice and I've got any juice? to say, what their thrown thin, thrown, but thrown, but thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, the thrown, thrown, their their thrown, have their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, have thi, have thi, have thi, have thi, have thi, have thi, have thi, have thi, have thi, have tho, have tho, have tho, have tho, have tho, have tho, thou? What thou? What's thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo know because I didn't know if that's just something that we do, but I was quite intrigued. That is good, but I like that Rob. Any juice?

Yeah, because I like phrases that only people have and then they kind of catch on because it works. Yeah, well you got any juice, but that's the thing though, we always. The disappointment when you run, I'm, Lugar, I'm having a bath, I'll come down at 9.25 to watch that show that starts at 9, we can fast through the adverts, and we still finish it at like 10 o'clock. Yeah, we're claiming went to watch something on 4-O-D the other day. Oh yeah, Fod. Fod. Fod. Fod. Fod. The experience of the two and a half minutes of adverts before the show is like the slowest time ever goes. Because you can't, and you're like, I don't know if I can't do this. I genuinely don't think I'm going to make it to the show. Two and a half. Two and a the the to make it. Two and a the to make it. Two and a the the to make it's. the show. the show. their their to their their their to their their their their their their their their their their their to make. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. the. to. to. to. to. two. two. two. two. two. two. two. two. two. two. two can't even look other stuff on my phone while these adverts are on because I've got to watch

the adverts on my fucking phone. And you try and skip it and then you just it's there and you can't you can't skip it. You're just watching adverts like it's the old day. And I can't they can't deal with it. At least on here you can't th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. to to to to to to to to to to the th. thi. to to to to to to to to to the th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. to. thea. thea. thea' thea. th you know what don't though because they're great. Yeah I'll listen to all of them and buy it all please immediately. Or if anything, rewind and re-listen that would be my tip. Do you know what I tend to do with podcast Rob? What's that? Is I'll wait and then I'll listen to the adverts and they're faster. Sometimes. the ad to to their. their. their. to their. their. their. their. their. to thso. thinks. thinks. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. their their. tho. tho. their they're they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. theateateateateateateateateateateateateatea. theateateatea. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're tho. they're tho. the actual podcast. Yeah, I'm foster. And just listen to the advert. Sometimes they're better. They're better. They're good stuff. We haven't done any Instagrams. Oh God, sorry.

I've blabbered on for so long. Well, I'll tell you on that, Rose woke up when she was up feeding our son at half-fall this Oh, that's great. We've got loads of those things you don't have an opinion on. Yeah. She think she was like, I was just kept thinking about things I don't have an opinion on. Okay. She doesn't have an opinion on what is trending on Twitter. Yes, she doesn't have an opinion, doesn't care. That's trending, don't care. Does not give a flying fuck. Also, my friend Joe texted me with some with some things things things things things things things things things the th. care about. The next James Bond, she doesn't care. I don't care who it is either. No. And if it is, you know, a female James Bond, I'll watch it and then make a decision if I like it or not after. Exactly. And then I probably want to watch it. I've not even watched this one.

No, do you know what, I won't watch it. Let's be honest. I long. It's like East Ender's Omnibus. It's too much Bond. I don't have enough time in my life to watch James Bond. I think TikTok has ruined my brain. I can't watch anything that lasts more in about five minutes. I'm like boring all this bloody set up. Give them some more things that people don't care about. And we'll th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thoomp. I'll thi. I'll thoom. I'll thoom. I'll to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I toomboomboomboomboomb-Ioomb-Ia. tomoooomb-Ia. tomooomb-Ia. t on whether you keep ketchup in the fridge or not. Yes, totally agree. If pineapple belongs on pizza, people star signs, couldn't care less, thank you Laura Simmons. Yeah. Who was the best member of the Beatles? No one cares. No one cares.

No one cares about that. I do care about. The pizza don't have an opinion on. What came first the chicken or the the chicken? the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People th. People. People. People th. People th. People th. People th. People th. People th. People th. People th. People th. People th. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People......... People.................. People. People.... People... People...................................................................................? Rachel in Rembury. Yeah, perfect. We'll do proper Instagram messages next week Let me throw in a couple of things people don't have an opinion on who's this from Jasmine The squid game or whether you should put water on a toothbrush before you put toothpaste. I don't care about that couldn't care C couldn't care that gonna go in dry going dry. Oh, that's mark mark. Mark adds window. I'll their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. th. th. I'm. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm. window or aisle seat on a plane. Who cares? Oh I care. Each to their own on that. We're not saying no one should have an opinion on these. I've got opinion on that. I care. I care. It depends what mood I'm in. If I'm getting pissed, I'll so I can get to the toilet. If I'm having a sleep, window. Sorry Mark. to. the their their the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I's. I's. their. their. their. I. I. their. their. I. I. their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. I the. I the. I. I. I. I. I. things that you don't have an opinion on, other people might. Perfect. Steve's gone with Israel and Palestine. Okay, fair enough, Steve, that's up to you, but some people do care about that, okay? It's quite a big issue. Yeah, you know, say what you want, Steve, if you don't care about it, fair enough, but people

are affected. Now, is that Steve with a V? that's a with A V. Classic Steve with a V that is. Yeah, classic Steve with a V. Always a little bit on the bone now. PH a bit more class about them. Yeah, well we'll get more from Steve as they come in. We'll have one from Steve each week. Right, here we go. Small business shoutouts and we'll do your emails and messages. Blimey O'Reilly, we've got to that point already. I've blabbered fucking on. Sorry, I can't even do conversation at the moment. Okay, here we go. I just don't want to talk to people. Sorry, did I say that out last? Yeah, yeah, he said that you hate your life still.

Okay. I don't hate my life, I just hate other people's lives and hearing about them. That's better. You're making progress.'t hate your life. That's good. Let's that's not internalize it. Hate the outside, not the inside. Hi at Rob and Josh, I wondered if you might think about giving us a mention on your small business shout out. My friend and I have set up a business selling play mats, which are child focused one side with a nice adult design on the other. They look great, baby safe and easy to maintain. It's a big leak for both of us, so we're keen to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the the the the the the the to be a to be. to be a to be a to be. to be a to be. to be a to to to to to to to to to me, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, I. their, their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiii. toe. toe. toe. toe. th toe. toe. thi. toe. thi. And, thi. I's thi. And, to maintain. It's a big leak for both of us, so we're keen to try and make a success. We'd be really grateful if you could share our business with your listeners. You can check us out, W, W, W, W, W, W. Mat, the, Play. Code. UK. That's M.A.T.A. Play. That's M.A.T.A. Play. Sounds like a very committed one matter fan. to the fan. to. thapapapapapapapapapapap. the the the thoomom. to. to. thoom. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. I. I. M. I. I. I. M. I. I. I. I. I. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. M. M's M-A-T-A Play. Keep up the good work with the podcast. You helped many of us keep smiling through last 18 months. Thanks in anticipation. I found them online and they are Matterplay official. Or they're pretty mats. They look quite sort of like bathroom tiles kind of thing and then kid designs on the front as well.

Matter play. that's the coat.ukk. Good luck of it guys. Okay, this is from Steph Jones. All right, Tarts. All right. Tarts. All right. It's good start, isn't it? Yeah. Silly, old tart. Please may I have a small business shout out. Yeah. She says it's absolutely okay by the way. At least it is here in near Dudley. I was diagnosed with, oh sorry. Oh God. I've just done a... I've done a dudly! I've been diagnosed, Jesus, okay, sorry, sorry, sorry guys, the tone shifted mid-impression. But did you know what? The tone very much shifted mid-email? Because she's the one who's tired of right tart. You can't tart me off and then hit me with a diagnosis halfway through the check? Come on. All right tarts. Please mays, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please. Please the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the the the chat, come on. All right, Tarts, please may have a small business shout out. I was diagnosed with breast cancer four years ago at the age of 31, a mom of two very young children. I've just recently set up my business providing care packages

designed for those in mind who have received a cancer diagnosis and about to embark on treatment. The package is inspired by my own personal experiences of chemo, surgeries, hospital stays, medical menopause etc., and with a donation from each box being made to Copperfield. Any help you can give to spread the word would be wonderful. Thank you so much for providing so many lulls on darker days. Steph Jones. Instagram and Facebook is practically, that's P-R-A-C-I-C-C-A-L-L-Y underscore perfect underscore packages.

There we go. Lovely, good one. That is a great one. Dudley! There we go. It was worth it in the end. Oh God, do you know what though? If ever I get diagnosed or something bad like that, I'll just, my brain will go, dud lie. That's going to be in my head forever now, whatever I hear that word.

You know, good on you, well done, that's a very nice positive thing to be doing. We'll be back on Friday with another interview. I think it might be Jesse Ware, we keep threatening it. It's Jesse Ware, yes. It's Blahe. It's Jesse Ware on Friday. thee then. Bye.